1
00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:12,074
Everyone is intimidated by a shark. Become
a Card Shark AMERICASCARDROOM.COM

2
00:00:19,603 --> 00:00:23,566
Hi. I'm Steven Weber.
And I play the murderer...

3
00:00:23,649 --> 00:00:24,858
Thanks, Lyle.

4
00:00:24,942 --> 00:00:27,653
...in this <i>Handsome</i> mystery movie.

5
00:00:28,070 --> 00:00:31,740
Enjoy this exciting multiplatform event.

6
00:00:32,658 --> 00:00:33,867
[exhales sharply]

7
00:00:35,452 --> 00:00:37,495
[surf rock music playing]

8
00:01:47,858 --> 00:01:50,611
[narrator] <i>Tonight, "A Lil' Dab'll Do Ya."</i>

9
00:01:52,279 --> 00:01:57,242
As a detective, there's no greater skill
that you can hone than your intuition.

10
00:01:58,243 --> 00:02:01,246
I mean, if you can't trust your gut,

11
00:02:01,872 --> 00:02:04,332
you might as well be
in parking enforcement.

12
00:02:04,416 --> 00:02:07,920
-Yeah, I mean, go be a meter maid.
-A meter man.

13
00:02:08,586 --> 00:02:12,049
Very good, Detective Rice. Very good.

14
00:02:12,132 --> 00:02:14,551
You're looking at everything
from all angles.

15
00:02:14,635 --> 00:02:18,138
All right, let's take a look
at the board, shall we?

16
00:02:18,221 --> 00:02:21,516
What do you see?
What does your gut tell you?

17
00:02:21,599 --> 00:02:23,101
I'm looking at the boner.

18
00:02:24,602 --> 00:02:26,438
That man's dick is hard.

19
00:02:26,521 --> 00:02:29,399
I think
it's the classic Margaritaville theory.

20
00:02:29,482 --> 00:02:30,567
The theory that states

21
00:02:30,651 --> 00:02:34,363
if a middle-aged man has too much
laid-back fun, he ceases to exist.

22
00:02:34,947 --> 00:02:37,157
Yeah. Anyone else got a theory?

23
00:02:37,240 --> 00:02:38,951
Detective Burt Jerpis.

24
00:02:39,034 --> 00:02:41,787
I know, Detective Jerpis. I hired you.

25
00:02:41,870 --> 00:02:45,290
We see this guy here, sure.
But is that the whole story?

26
00:02:45,373 --> 00:02:46,792
How do we know
that this guy doesn't work

27
00:02:46,875 --> 00:02:49,502
at a rental car agency
at the airport, all right?

28
00:02:49,586 --> 00:02:52,297
And it's his boss' last day.
Maybe that guy's name is Roger.

29
00:02:52,380 --> 00:02:53,841
Roger loves to golf.

30
00:02:53,924 --> 00:02:56,259
So he and all of his coworkers
dress up like Roger.

31
00:02:56,343 --> 00:02:59,054
Golfers. And you wanna know
what Roger always wanted to do?

32
00:02:59,137 --> 00:03:01,348
Skydivings. So they all get in the car,

33
00:03:01,431 --> 00:03:04,184
they go over to the airstrip
and they get in the skydivings plane.

34
00:03:04,267 --> 00:03:06,561
They get up to 20,000 feet
and they get into an argument.

35
00:03:06,644 --> 00:03:07,730
Maybe it's about a girl,

36
00:03:07,813 --> 00:03:10,315
maybe it's about who had the right recipe
for the veggie chili.

37
00:03:10,398 --> 00:03:12,192
We don't know the answer to that yet.

38
00:03:12,275 --> 00:03:15,153
But then argument breaks out
and this guy gets strangled.

39
00:03:15,237 --> 00:03:16,947
He gets thrown out
of that skydivings plane.

40
00:03:17,030 --> 00:03:19,324
Guess where he lands, of all places?

41
00:03:19,407 --> 00:03:22,160
-Golf course. Case closed.
-You know what?

42
00:03:22,244 --> 00:03:23,829
Let's not trust our guts.

43
00:03:23,912 --> 00:03:27,415
I'm sorry. [sighs] That's not the boner
of a man still livin'.

44
00:03:27,499 --> 00:03:30,085
Handsome! We need to talk now.

45
00:03:31,419 --> 00:03:32,921
Yes, Lieutenant.

46
00:03:33,881 --> 00:03:34,882
Yes.

47
00:03:34,965 --> 00:03:37,175
You didn't fill out
your retirement papers.

48
00:03:37,759 --> 00:03:40,387
-You pulled me out here for that?
-I thought you should know.

49
00:03:41,179 --> 00:03:42,765
Of course I know.
I'm the one who didn't fill 'em out.

50
00:03:42,848 --> 00:03:45,433
Don't try to complicate things
with your sweet talk.

51
00:03:46,101 --> 00:03:47,310
Sweet talk?

52
00:03:47,394 --> 00:03:50,438
You poor, innocent kid.
You just don't get it, do you?

53
00:03:52,024 --> 00:03:53,358
No.

54
00:03:55,193 --> 00:03:58,321
-What were we talking about?
-I have no idea.

55
00:03:58,405 --> 00:04:02,450
Believe me, I'll remember.
And when I do, you'll know, missy.

56
00:04:02,534 --> 00:04:03,535
Connie!

57
00:04:05,954 --> 00:04:06,955
[sighs]

58
00:04:07,039 --> 00:04:08,832
[indistinct chatter]

59
00:04:14,546 --> 00:04:16,882
I just remembered what it was.
[chuckles]

60
00:04:16,965 --> 00:04:19,802
We have so many leftovers
from Waikiki Wednesday,

61
00:04:19,885 --> 00:04:21,678
I think you should take these home.

62
00:04:22,429 --> 00:04:24,848
No, no, no, I'm good.
I'm trying to watch my weight--

63
00:04:24,932 --> 00:04:26,474
Oh, no, you don't understand.

64
00:04:26,558 --> 00:04:28,811
-They've got thick frosting...
-Yeah.

65
00:04:28,894 --> 00:04:31,897
-...smeared just the way you like it.
-Yeah.

66
00:04:31,980 --> 00:04:35,483
And they're shaped like beach balls
that just bounce right into your mouth,

67
00:04:35,567 --> 00:04:39,237
bounce right into your belly
and bounce right outta your butt. Hmm?

68
00:04:40,072 --> 00:04:42,866
I'm, uh... There's no way I'm taking
these, uh, home with me.

69
00:04:42,950 --> 00:04:44,326
[Tucker] Hmm? Hmm?

70
00:04:49,664 --> 00:04:51,041
[engine stops]

71
00:04:57,130 --> 00:04:58,841
[car door creaks]

72
00:05:02,219 --> 00:05:03,511
[grunts]

73
00:05:17,442 --> 00:05:20,153
Hello, Candy. Hello.

74
00:05:21,071 --> 00:05:22,280
[sighs]

75
00:05:23,740 --> 00:05:27,535
These are not mine.
That's all I'm saying. Don't ask.

76
00:05:37,712 --> 00:05:39,214
[sighs heavily]

77
00:05:40,132 --> 00:05:43,176
Yeah. Every day's a tough one.

78
00:05:43,260 --> 00:05:44,386
Every day's a tough one,

79
00:05:44,469 --> 00:05:46,513
but it's so much better
when I come home to you.

80
00:05:46,596 --> 00:05:50,433
I love you. I love you so much.
You're so pretty.

81
00:05:51,684 --> 00:05:54,687
Do me a favor. See those cookies?

82
00:05:55,939 --> 00:05:56,982
Don't let me eat 'em.

83
00:05:57,900 --> 00:06:02,779
You hear me? If I go near those cookies,
you knock my ass over, all right?

84
00:06:02,862 --> 00:06:05,908
'Cause you're capable of doing that,
you big fucker.

85
00:06:05,991 --> 00:06:07,534
[sighs heavily]

86
00:06:12,122 --> 00:06:13,540
Yeah, let's go for a walk.

87
00:06:16,126 --> 00:06:19,087
[Durante] Hey, Handsome,
don't pretend I'm not here.

88
00:06:19,171 --> 00:06:20,172
Durante.

89
00:06:21,089 --> 00:06:23,967
Stop letting your dog shit on my lawn.

90
00:06:26,178 --> 00:06:29,306
-Not hers. Don't recognize it.
-Of course it's hers.

91
00:06:29,389 --> 00:06:32,392
It looks like her,
curled up as a piece of shit.

92
00:06:32,475 --> 00:06:33,935
Okay, look at her.

93
00:06:34,436 --> 00:06:37,272
She's not even looking at it.
She knows it's not hers.

94
00:06:37,355 --> 00:06:40,442
There's no caginess about her.
No recognition whatsoever.

95
00:06:40,525 --> 00:06:43,361
-She's just playing it cool.
-Look into her eyes.

96
00:06:43,445 --> 00:06:45,738
They're pools of pure tranquility.

97
00:06:45,822 --> 00:06:47,574
You think you can read a perp
better than me?

98
00:06:47,657 --> 00:06:50,785
You've lost it. You know that, right?
Happens to the best of us.

99
00:06:50,868 --> 00:06:53,121
You used to investigate real crime.

100
00:06:53,205 --> 00:06:55,999
Now you're chasing around
cheating husbands,

101
00:06:56,083 --> 00:06:58,961
hanging outside of crappy motels
in Venice.

102
00:06:59,044 --> 00:07:01,046
You know what makes this country great?

103
00:07:01,129 --> 00:07:03,465
It's not that everybody's
cheating on their spouses,

104
00:07:03,548 --> 00:07:04,799
because they're not.

105
00:07:04,882 --> 00:07:09,012
It's that everyone unconsciously
feels cheated.

106
00:07:09,096 --> 00:07:13,808
That's right. By the government,
by their bosses, by Whole Foods.

107
00:07:13,891 --> 00:07:17,895
And then they transfer that suspicion
onto their loved one.

108
00:07:17,980 --> 00:07:22,859
And it's that very feeling
that keeps me in such great business.

109
00:07:22,943 --> 00:07:25,946
I'm thinking of buying a Ferrari.

110
00:07:26,029 --> 00:07:28,991
Well, I just put 50 bucks
into my IRA account.

111
00:07:29,074 --> 00:07:32,702
And in lieu of getting a Tesla,
I'm gonna retire soon-ish.

112
00:07:32,785 --> 00:07:37,832
-That job really wears on a person.
-It does. It really does.

113
00:07:37,916 --> 00:07:42,087
-Hey, uh, you got new neighbors.
-On the other side? When?

114
00:07:42,670 --> 00:07:45,590
Are you not paying attention?
A couple of weeks ago.

115
00:07:45,674 --> 00:07:48,885
Renters.
Looks like a single mom and her kid.

116
00:07:49,469 --> 00:07:51,846
-Maybe the kid took the dump.
-I just saw nervous fidgeting.

117
00:07:51,929 --> 00:07:55,058
That was nervous fidgeting.
That's definitely nervous fidgeting.

118
00:07:55,142 --> 00:07:58,061
Of course Candy's fidgeting.
You know where I found her?

119
00:07:58,145 --> 00:08:01,731
I found her abandoned
in a foreclosed house in Burbank.

120
00:08:01,814 --> 00:08:04,234
<i>Buona sera,</i> Handsome.

121
00:08:04,317 --> 00:08:06,987
Ah... <i>Buona sera,</i> Esta.

122
00:08:07,070 --> 00:08:09,906
Hmm. Why are we wishing each other
good evening?

123
00:08:10,407 --> 00:08:14,327
It is just... an okay <i>sera.</i> Just okay.

124
00:08:14,411 --> 00:08:17,289
[stutters] Well, it just started.
It could get a lot better.

125
00:08:17,372 --> 00:08:19,791
Mmm. I don't think so.

126
00:08:25,880 --> 00:08:27,340
[playing slow-tempo tune]

127
00:08:30,177 --> 00:08:34,097
I still don't know what she sees in you.
I'm guessing she likes to be depressed.

128
00:08:34,181 --> 00:08:37,100
I could say the same thing about your dog.

129
00:08:37,184 --> 00:08:40,062
Yeah. We're gonna go back on our walk.

130
00:08:42,189 --> 00:08:45,442
[Durante] I get it.
Your dog has had a tragic history.

131
00:08:45,525 --> 00:08:48,070
But don't let her shit on my lawn.

132
00:08:49,321 --> 00:08:50,822
[sighs] Go.

133
00:08:51,948 --> 00:08:53,200
[sighs]

134
00:09:39,036 --> 00:09:43,291
-Can I help you?
-Hi. I'm your neighbor, Gene Handsome.

135
00:09:43,375 --> 00:09:45,627
I thought I'd come and welcome you
to the neighborhood

136
00:09:45,710 --> 00:09:48,463
by, uh, bringing you and your daughter
some cookies.

137
00:09:48,546 --> 00:09:51,299
-I'm the babysitter.
-Oh! Okay, well, then,

138
00:09:51,383 --> 00:09:54,636
-you can take the cookies.
-I'm not opening this door.

139
00:09:56,304 --> 00:09:59,391
I commend your cautiousness.
You seem like an A-plus sitter.

140
00:09:59,474 --> 00:10:05,480
But, as I said, I live next door.
I am an officer of the law.

141
00:10:05,563 --> 00:10:07,899
So you really got nothin' to worry about.

142
00:10:07,982 --> 00:10:09,859
I'm sorry.
I'm not comfortable opening the door.

143
00:10:10,485 --> 00:10:13,113
You think I'm a creep. [chuckles]

144
00:10:13,196 --> 00:10:16,324
Oh, my God, that's the last thing
I wanna be, is a creep.

145
00:10:16,408 --> 00:10:20,745
No, no, no, that's not my intention.
That's not who I am.

146
00:10:20,828 --> 00:10:24,166
I mean, you can go put them on the porch,
but I can't say anyone's gonna eat them.

147
00:10:27,001 --> 00:10:31,172
I'm gonna leave them right over here,
but you gotta do me a favor.

148
00:10:32,089 --> 00:10:35,260
After I go, please bring in the cookies.

149
00:10:35,343 --> 00:10:37,595
'Cause later tonight,
I don't wanna see them out here,

150
00:10:37,679 --> 00:10:41,057
'cause I'm afraid
I'll come over and, uh, eat one.

151
00:10:41,141 --> 00:10:44,894
-Wow.
-I know. I got a problem, I...

152
00:10:44,977 --> 00:10:48,773
All right, anyhow, take them in.
Thank you very much. I'll see you later.

153
00:11:19,512 --> 00:11:21,264
[cell phone ringing]

154
00:11:28,980 --> 00:11:30,106
Handsome.

155
00:11:31,858 --> 00:11:32,984
Yeah.

156
00:11:34,694 --> 00:11:36,529
All right, pick me up. [sighs]

157
00:11:42,201 --> 00:11:43,911
[sighing]

158
00:11:46,498 --> 00:11:49,751
I gotta go. I gotta go.

159
00:11:51,043 --> 00:11:54,213
I'll see you later. Make me get up.

160
00:11:55,757 --> 00:11:57,259
<i>-You know what I watched the other night?</i>
-[Fleur] <i>Huh?</i>

161
00:11:57,342 --> 00:12:01,930
Best movie I've ever seen.
I don't know if you saw it. <i>San Andreas.</i>

162
00:12:02,013 --> 00:12:03,473
I love <i>San Andreas.</i>
<i></i>You fuckin' kidding me?

163
00:12:03,556 --> 00:12:06,393
Oh, my God. The Rock? Perfection.

164
00:12:06,476 --> 00:12:09,562
The absurdity?
Best absurdity I've ever seen.

165
00:12:09,646 --> 00:12:11,689
Maybe one of the best movies...
Easily the best...

166
00:12:11,773 --> 00:12:15,234
What won the Oscar in 2015
that was better than <i>San Andreas?</i>

167
00:12:15,318 --> 00:12:18,655
Best movie ever.
And all the time he spent in a boat.

168
00:12:18,738 --> 00:12:21,533
He's in a boat,
but he's a helicopter pilot. I loved it.

169
00:12:21,616 --> 00:12:23,200
-I loved it.
-I loved it.

170
00:12:23,285 --> 00:12:27,414
What would you do if you had a partner
who didn't like how loud you talk?

171
00:12:27,497 --> 00:12:29,291
I don't talk loud. You talk loud.

172
00:12:29,374 --> 00:12:32,460
I don't know who talks louder between us,
you or I.

173
00:12:32,544 --> 00:12:34,045
-We both talk very loud...
-[chuckling]

174
00:12:34,128 --> 00:12:37,382
...and I don't know
which one is the louder talker.

175
00:12:41,303 --> 00:12:43,220
[indistinct chatter]

176
00:12:43,305 --> 00:12:44,597
Good morning, everybody.

177
00:12:44,681 --> 00:12:47,266
-Everybody's looking sharp.
-What do we got goin' here?

178
00:12:47,350 --> 00:12:48,476
[Fleur sighs]

179
00:12:49,769 --> 00:12:52,522
-Holy shit.
-What the fuck is this?

180
00:12:53,315 --> 00:12:55,317
[indistinct radio chatter]

181
00:12:58,486 --> 00:13:00,947
[Handsome] I can't believe it. No way.

182
00:13:01,448 --> 00:13:04,659
Fleur... I think I know this girl.

183
00:13:04,742 --> 00:13:06,202
-You do?
-Yeah.

184
00:13:06,786 --> 00:13:08,079
That's my neighbor's sitter.

185
00:13:09,163 --> 00:13:11,040
I tried giving her cookies yesterday.

186
00:13:11,541 --> 00:13:14,586
-What do you mean, "tried"?
-I tried. She wouldn't take them.

187
00:13:14,669 --> 00:13:17,964
She's a very cautious young lady.
She wouldn't even open the door.

188
00:13:18,047 --> 00:13:20,675
-She knows the person who did this.
-Absolutely.

189
00:13:21,718 --> 00:13:24,012
All right, has anyone else noticed this?

190
00:13:24,929 --> 00:13:28,725
But it looks like her body's put
into the shape of the Star of David.

191
00:13:28,808 --> 00:13:30,560
-Oh, man.
-[Dino] Jesus.

192
00:13:32,479 --> 00:13:33,646
Jesus.

193
00:13:35,732 --> 00:13:36,899
Jesus.

194
00:13:36,983 --> 00:13:39,068
Sir, can I quit the force forever, please?

195
00:13:40,069 --> 00:13:41,904
-You wanna quit the force?
-Yeah.

196
00:13:41,988 --> 00:13:42,989
Why?

197
00:13:43,072 --> 00:13:44,491
'Cause we're all sitting here casually,

198
00:13:44,574 --> 00:13:47,535
talking about this chopped up woman
in this yard, and it's disgusting.

199
00:13:48,536 --> 00:13:53,416
We're not casually talking about the lady.
We're trying to figure out who did this.

200
00:13:53,500 --> 00:13:56,085
-Sir, I have a theory.
-You do? What do you got?

201
00:13:56,168 --> 00:13:57,504
Suicide.

202
00:13:58,505 --> 00:13:59,839
-That's it?
-That's it.

203
00:14:00,923 --> 00:14:04,469
-I deduce that that's stupid.
-Hey, easy. We're all trying here.

204
00:14:04,552 --> 00:14:06,388
Sorry, Detective Burt Jerpis, sir.

205
00:14:06,471 --> 00:14:08,473
I know, Jerpis. Go ahead.
What do you got?

206
00:14:08,556 --> 00:14:10,266
This is a drive-by, plain and simple.

207
00:14:10,933 --> 00:14:12,935
-How do you get that?
-[Jerpis] I'll show you, sir.

208
00:14:13,019 --> 00:14:17,482
Our victim was out for a walk.
A leisurely, late night walk.

209
00:14:18,566 --> 00:14:19,400
Along comes our perp,

210
00:14:19,484 --> 00:14:21,569
driving a late '90s Honda Accord,
purple...

211
00:14:21,653 --> 00:14:22,945
That's my gut feeling.

212
00:14:23,029 --> 00:14:25,532
Then this punk... [chuckles]
and that's what he is,

213
00:14:25,615 --> 00:14:28,743
takes out a gun, shoots our victim.
What's on the gun?

214
00:14:28,826 --> 00:14:32,830
A silencer. Why is there a silencer?
To keep things quiet.

215
00:14:33,623 --> 00:14:35,708
Then, to cover his tracks...

216
00:14:37,126 --> 00:14:41,088
he chops the body up into these pieces

217
00:14:41,172 --> 00:14:43,508
and arranges them
into this religious symbol.

218
00:14:44,384 --> 00:14:47,387
-Case closed.
-[Handsome] No, not case closed.

219
00:14:47,470 --> 00:14:50,556
We don't have a bullet wound,
and we don't have a killer.

220
00:14:51,891 --> 00:14:52,892
Oh...

221
00:14:53,810 --> 00:14:54,852
[exhales sharply]

222
00:14:55,770 --> 00:14:59,691
-That's why you're the boss.
-All right, who's the king of the castle?

223
00:14:59,774 --> 00:15:01,984
The house belongs to Talbert Bacorn.

224
00:15:02,068 --> 00:15:04,904
-The actor?
-Yeah, yeah. I'd bend him over. [sniffles]

225
00:15:05,988 --> 00:15:06,989
Uh, and then what?

226
00:15:07,073 --> 00:15:10,159
What do you mean? I'd just bend him over.
Eat a little popcorn out his ass.

227
00:15:10,242 --> 00:15:12,412
-Okay, I'll do the interview with Bacorn.
-Mmm-hmm.

228
00:15:12,495 --> 00:15:16,248
-Okay. What about me?
-You take care of that.

229
00:15:16,332 --> 00:15:17,374
Ah.

230
00:15:17,459 --> 00:15:20,753
Guys, on the right is the home
of Talbert Bacorn,

231
00:15:20,837 --> 00:15:22,755
the star of <i>Rainbow Squad.</i>

232
00:15:22,839 --> 00:15:24,549
[tourists cheering]

233
00:15:24,632 --> 00:15:26,300
[cameras clicking]

234
00:15:27,427 --> 00:15:29,429
-Do what you gotta do.
-[snaps fingers] Done.

235
00:15:30,430 --> 00:15:33,015
I'm... I'm freaking out!

236
00:15:33,099 --> 00:15:36,603
[Handsome] Of course you're freaking out.
There's a crime scene in your front yard.

237
00:15:36,686 --> 00:15:40,857
Okay. Do you think
someone is... is threatening me?

238
00:15:40,940 --> 00:15:42,358
Do you think they're trying
to send me a message?

239
00:15:42,442 --> 00:15:43,568
What do you think that message is?

240
00:15:43,651 --> 00:15:47,071
-Do you think PETA is trying to ambush me?
-PETA?

241
00:15:47,155 --> 00:15:50,783
[grunts] I wore suede pants
at my première.

242
00:15:50,950 --> 00:15:54,036
[stammers] Well, I don't think
that's really their style.

243
00:15:54,370 --> 00:15:57,665
Why don't you just sit down and breathe?

244
00:15:58,791 --> 00:16:00,001
Do breathing exercises?

245
00:16:00,084 --> 00:16:04,756
No, not formally.
Just sit down, kick back, breathe.

246
00:16:07,300 --> 00:16:09,677
[tourists speaking Japanese]

247
00:16:12,138 --> 00:16:14,932
All right, let's go. Keep it moving.
There's nothing to see here.

248
00:16:15,016 --> 00:16:18,019
They want to know if that's
a decapitated body on Mr. Talbert's lawn.

249
00:16:18,644 --> 00:16:19,479
No.

250
00:16:19,562 --> 00:16:23,399
[in Japanese] She thinks we're stupid
because we don't speak English.

251
00:16:23,483 --> 00:16:24,651
Why would she assume
we don't speak English?

252
00:16:24,734 --> 00:16:28,530
Because we're a bus full of tourists
from Japan who don't speak English.

253
00:16:28,613 --> 00:16:34,285
Is the body arranged carefully
in the shape of a Star of David?

254
00:16:34,368 --> 00:16:37,413
[in English] Is the body carefully
arranged in the shape of a Star of David?

255
00:16:37,497 --> 00:16:39,165
Unequivocally no.

256
00:16:39,248 --> 00:16:40,792
[in Japanese] What's a Star of David?

257
00:16:40,875 --> 00:16:42,502
It's a symbol for Judaism.

258
00:16:42,585 --> 00:16:44,546
[speaking Japanese]

259
00:16:44,629 --> 00:16:46,047
Rabbi?

260
00:16:46,964 --> 00:16:50,677
The Magen David is said to symbolize
the shape of King David's shield,

261
00:16:50,760 --> 00:16:54,806
but there is really no support for that
claim in any early rabbinic literature.

262
00:16:54,889 --> 00:16:56,098
In my opinion.

263
00:16:56,182 --> 00:16:58,100
[tourists speaking Japanese]

264
00:17:00,102 --> 00:17:03,940
Tell me about last night.
What did you see? What happened?

265
00:17:04,023 --> 00:17:07,610
You may have saw or heard something
that you're not even aware of.

266
00:17:07,693 --> 00:17:12,114
Ah, so true.
An actor's senses are so finely attuned.

267
00:17:12,198 --> 00:17:13,324
Like a detective's.

268
00:17:13,407 --> 00:17:14,659
Mmm...

269
00:17:14,742 --> 00:17:16,869
Probably a little better
than a detective's,

270
00:17:16,953 --> 00:17:21,582
but a little worse than a blind man
whose fingertips are so sensitive,

271
00:17:22,375 --> 00:17:24,502
he can make words out of bumps.

272
00:17:25,336 --> 00:17:26,588
Back to last night...

273
00:17:27,504 --> 00:17:29,632
-What went on?
-Last night, last night...

274
00:17:29,716 --> 00:17:33,052
Well... [sighs] I pet sit
for my next-door neighbor,

275
00:17:33,135 --> 00:17:35,054
so I went next door and fed the dog.

276
00:17:35,137 --> 00:17:36,806
-You pet sit?
-I do.

277
00:17:37,849 --> 00:17:40,184
Are you close with the neighbor?
You love dogs?

278
00:17:40,267 --> 00:17:44,063
I seize any opportunity
to add to my actor's toolbox.

279
00:17:44,146 --> 00:17:48,943
Should I have the opportunity to play
a pet sitter in some future project,

280
00:17:50,152 --> 00:17:51,487
I know how they'll feel.

281
00:17:52,029 --> 00:17:54,365
That's a real dedication to your craft.

282
00:17:55,783 --> 00:17:56,951
It's my life.

283
00:17:58,410 --> 00:18:02,373
When you were over there, did you see
anybody walkin' around, coming, going?

284
00:18:02,456 --> 00:18:06,377
No, nothing. It was all quiet.
Not a creature was stirring on my lawn.

285
00:18:07,169 --> 00:18:10,256
Well, I really don't think
the victim would've been stirring.

286
00:18:11,257 --> 00:18:15,386
So you come back from your neighbor's.
You're home. What next?

287
00:18:15,469 --> 00:18:19,015
Well... [sighs] I got undressed for bed,
and I watched my movie!

288
00:18:19,098 --> 00:18:23,770
Yes, it was on cable. [laughs]
It's an old movie of mine from 1985.

289
00:18:23,853 --> 00:18:28,440
<i>Patty-Cake.</i> I played Emil,
the baker man's illegitimate son.

290
00:18:28,524 --> 00:18:31,193
-I think I remember that one.
-Mmm. [inhales sharply]

291
00:18:31,277 --> 00:18:34,238
It's an early work, but underrated.

292
00:18:34,322 --> 00:18:40,536
The scene where I'm crying and chanting,
"Patty-cake, patty-cake."

293
00:18:41,203 --> 00:18:43,873
I hold up my little hands
for my father to clap them,

294
00:18:43,956 --> 00:18:45,041
and he rejects me.

295
00:18:46,042 --> 00:18:48,002
[clicks tongue] Still holds up. [chuckles]

296
00:18:48,085 --> 00:18:51,255
So, you're watching the movie.
Did you hear anything?

297
00:18:52,757 --> 00:18:54,591
Mmm...

298
00:18:54,676 --> 00:18:55,677
No.

299
00:18:56,678 --> 00:18:57,762
Okay.

300
00:18:59,096 --> 00:19:04,476
Uh, if you think of anything else,
please give me a call.

301
00:19:04,560 --> 00:19:06,562
Do not text me. I don't enjoy it.

302
00:19:06,646 --> 00:19:10,149
So you'll send me a special police detail
for my protection?

303
00:19:10,232 --> 00:19:11,859
We're gonna keep an eye on things.
Don't worry.

304
00:19:11,943 --> 00:19:15,196
Oh, thank you.
I'm used to a lot of attention.

305
00:19:18,449 --> 00:19:21,077
-[indistinct radio chatter]
-[sighs heavily]

306
00:19:24,497 --> 00:19:26,999
You do know it's the ex-boyfriend,
don't you?

307
00:19:27,834 --> 00:19:30,336
-Lieutenant Kenda.
-Detective Handsome.

308
00:19:30,419 --> 00:19:33,422
Do not worry.
I've got all the angles covered.

309
00:19:33,505 --> 00:19:35,216
It's always the ex-boyfriend.

310
00:19:35,299 --> 00:19:39,303
It's the old, "If I can't have you,
no one will have you."

311
00:19:39,386 --> 00:19:43,515
-You see chopped up bodies a lot?
-Not a lot, but I've seen them.

312
00:19:43,599 --> 00:19:45,017
You know what that says?

313
00:19:45,685 --> 00:19:49,480
"To kill you is not enough.
I want to punish you."

314
00:19:50,189 --> 00:19:52,066
Very personal. Very close.

315
00:19:53,442 --> 00:19:56,570
-Have you been stretching like I said?
-Occasionally.

316
00:19:56,653 --> 00:20:00,700
You need to do it more than occasionally.
Limbers you up.

317
00:20:01,701 --> 00:20:03,285
[clock ticking]

318
00:20:08,499 --> 00:20:10,501
[indistinct radio chatter]

319
00:20:14,797 --> 00:20:16,799
[clock ticking continues]

320
00:20:32,982 --> 00:20:34,025
[knocking on door]

321
00:20:38,195 --> 00:20:39,238
Hey!

322
00:20:39,321 --> 00:20:42,950
Oh, shit.
Sorry, I thought you were my sitter.

323
00:20:43,034 --> 00:20:44,243
Yeah, about that...

324
00:20:44,326 --> 00:20:48,080
I'm, uh, Gene Handsome,
detective with the LAPD

325
00:20:48,164 --> 00:20:50,541
and, coincidentally,
your next door neighbor.

326
00:20:51,375 --> 00:20:54,045
-Oh, hi. Nice to meet you.
-Hi.

327
00:20:54,128 --> 00:20:57,214
-Oh, shit. Did Heather get arrested?
-Why would you say that?

328
00:20:57,298 --> 00:21:01,177
[sighs] Sticky fingers. Yeah, she's stolen
a few of my going-out tops,

329
00:21:01,260 --> 00:21:03,637
but it's really hard
to find a good sitter.

330
00:21:04,096 --> 00:21:06,682
Well, I've got some bad news.

331
00:21:06,766 --> 00:21:07,809
[sighs]

332
00:21:07,892 --> 00:21:13,773
This is so brutal.
And then to get chopped up like that?

333
00:21:13,856 --> 00:21:16,859
-Yeah. It's tough.
-Oh, my God. Poor Heather.

334
00:21:16,943 --> 00:21:21,572
It's terrible. And, uh,
what was your relationship with her?

335
00:21:21,655 --> 00:21:24,408
Was she close to you guys?
Was she like family?

336
00:21:25,742 --> 00:21:27,286
She... Eh...

337
00:21:27,369 --> 00:21:31,498
She... she was the babysitter.
But, you know, nice.

338
00:21:31,582 --> 00:21:32,750
She was fine.

339
00:21:33,209 --> 00:21:35,127
-Oh, hey, honey.
-Hi there.

340
00:21:35,211 --> 00:21:39,548
Uh, this is my daughter, Carys.
Carys, this is Detective Handsome.

341
00:21:39,631 --> 00:21:42,176
Did you overhear everything that happened?

342
00:21:42,259 --> 00:21:43,302
[Carys] Mmm-hmm.

343
00:21:43,385 --> 00:21:46,263
The angels came
and took Miss Heather to hell.

344
00:21:46,848 --> 00:21:48,182
[Nora snickers]

345
00:21:48,265 --> 00:21:49,350
Hmm.

346
00:21:50,392 --> 00:21:52,436
[chuckling] I don't know
where she gets that stuff.

347
00:21:53,020 --> 00:21:55,272
-Kids.
-Oh, shit!

348
00:21:55,356 --> 00:21:57,984
I'm so late for work
and I'm out of sick days.

349
00:21:58,067 --> 00:22:01,028
-What time do you work till?
-One o'clock. Fridays are my half-day.

350
00:22:01,863 --> 00:22:02,864
I'll watch her.

351
00:22:02,947 --> 00:22:04,824
-Wait, are you serious?
-I'm totally serious.

352
00:22:04,907 --> 00:22:07,493
I've got some questions to ask you.

353
00:22:07,576 --> 00:22:09,871
Uh, we can get back to that
as soon as you come back.

354
00:22:09,954 --> 00:22:11,788
-Great. Thank you so much.
-Yeah. Sure.

355
00:22:11,873 --> 00:22:13,665
-That's great. You're fine.
-Yeah. Yeah.

356
00:22:13,749 --> 00:22:19,255
-[Carys sighs]
-You're great. Yeah. Okay. Good? Okay.

357
00:22:23,092 --> 00:22:24,676
[Handsome] How about that?

358
00:22:24,760 --> 00:22:29,223
Who wouldn't want a real detective
as their babysitter?

359
00:22:29,306 --> 00:22:30,474
[scoffs]

360
00:22:33,895 --> 00:22:36,522
Guess you. You're the one who doesn't.

361
00:22:37,439 --> 00:22:38,857
[groans]

362
00:22:38,941 --> 00:22:41,068
I'm really good at dancing.

363
00:22:41,152 --> 00:22:43,279
You're gonna love the show
that I have planned for you.

364
00:22:43,362 --> 00:22:47,199
Very exciting. I love the arts.
I'm a patron.

365
00:22:47,700 --> 00:22:48,868
Of the arts.

366
00:22:49,868 --> 00:22:52,621
-Take a seat on the couch.
-All right.

367
00:22:55,082 --> 00:22:56,583
[Liz Phair's "Why Can't I?" playing]

368
00:23:07,177 --> 00:23:09,972
<i>♪ Get a load of me</i>
<i>Get a load of you ♪</i>

369
00:23:10,055 --> 00:23:13,392
<i>♪ Walking down the street</i>
<i>And I hardly know you ♪</i>

370
00:23:14,310 --> 00:23:15,394
[sniffles]

371
00:23:15,477 --> 00:23:18,606
<i>♪ It's just like we were meant to be ♪</i>

372
00:23:18,898 --> 00:23:21,984
<i>♪ Holding hands with you</i>
<i>When we're out at night ♪</i>

373
00:23:22,067 --> 00:23:25,362
<i>♪ Got a girlfriend</i>
<i>You say it isn't right ♪</i>

374
00:23:25,446 --> 00:23:26,822
<i>♪ It isn't right ♪</i>

375
00:23:26,906 --> 00:23:28,657
<i>♪ And I've got someone... ♪</i>

376
00:23:28,740 --> 00:23:32,411
-When does it start?
-[Carys] This is the pre-entertainment.

377
00:23:32,494 --> 00:23:35,664
It's important to set a tone
for the audience.

378
00:23:35,747 --> 00:23:39,126
And for the record,
you can't be talking to me.

379
00:23:40,085 --> 00:23:42,963
<i>♪ Whenever I think about you ♪</i>

380
00:23:43,047 --> 00:23:47,551
<i>♪ Why can't I speak</i>
<i>Whenever I talk about-- ♪</i>

381
00:23:47,635 --> 00:23:48,636
[music stops]

382
00:24:00,106 --> 00:24:01,107
Hi.

383
00:24:01,983 --> 00:24:04,110
-How's Carys?
-A delight.

384
00:24:05,111 --> 00:24:07,071
-Really?
-She's a great kid. Yes.

385
00:24:07,154 --> 00:24:10,199
-Oh, good. Great.
-Yeah.

386
00:24:10,282 --> 00:24:14,996
-Is, uh, now a good time?
-Yeah. Sure. Uh-huh.

387
00:24:15,079 --> 00:24:18,582
-All right. How was your day?
-Ugh, it was disgusting.

388
00:24:18,665 --> 00:24:20,334
[sighs] I hate teeth.

389
00:24:20,417 --> 00:24:23,004
I am so sick
of looking into people's mouths.

390
00:24:23,087 --> 00:24:24,796
I have this recurring nightmare where

391
00:24:24,880 --> 00:24:28,342
instead of all of my teeth falling out,
I get more of them.

392
00:24:28,425 --> 00:24:30,761
Just, like, more and more and more.

393
00:24:30,844 --> 00:24:34,015
I get teeth fingernails
and teeth toenails.

394
00:24:34,098 --> 00:24:36,975
My belly button even sprouts a tooth.
It's disgusting.

395
00:24:37,059 --> 00:24:39,603
Have you thought of getting out
of the dental industry?

396
00:24:39,687 --> 00:24:43,357
[sighs] Yeah. Teeth are vile.

397
00:24:43,440 --> 00:24:46,860
You know, both of our jobs,
we see the worst of people.

398
00:24:47,778 --> 00:24:49,071
That's so true.

399
00:24:49,155 --> 00:24:51,948
-Heather, your babysitter.
-Yeah. [sighs]

400
00:24:52,033 --> 00:24:54,618
Did she have any romantic interests?

401
00:24:54,701 --> 00:24:58,372
Oh... Um, not that I'm aware of.

402
00:24:58,455 --> 00:25:03,752
You know, she did mention an ex-boyfriend,
but he's back east and he's married now.

403
00:25:03,836 --> 00:25:08,298
-I didn't get the sense that they talk.
-Okay, do you have any info on him?

404
00:25:08,841 --> 00:25:11,593
Uh, no, just that he's married.

405
00:25:11,677 --> 00:25:13,179
-That's it.
-Okay.

406
00:25:13,262 --> 00:25:16,140
Um, was anybody giving her any trouble?

407
00:25:16,223 --> 00:25:20,352
Did she, um, uh, have any issues
she was dealing with?

408
00:25:21,895 --> 00:25:27,068
Well, I... I mentioned the, like,
klepto shenanigans.

409
00:25:27,151 --> 00:25:28,569
-Mmm-hmm.
-Um...

410
00:25:28,652 --> 00:25:31,197
Well, I know she had
a hard time paying bills,

411
00:25:31,280 --> 00:25:33,115
-but that's pretty standard, right?
-Mmm-hmm.

412
00:25:33,199 --> 00:25:35,117
I mean... [scoffs] so do I.

413
00:25:35,201 --> 00:25:37,035
You know,
the rent on this place is ridiculous,

414
00:25:37,119 --> 00:25:39,538
but we have to have a yard, so...

415
00:25:41,165 --> 00:25:46,295
You know what? She did actually tell me
that sometimes when she would go out,

416
00:25:46,378 --> 00:25:51,217
she would get into these, like, bar fights
with other girls when she got drunk.

417
00:25:51,300 --> 00:25:52,301
About what?

418
00:25:52,384 --> 00:25:56,764
Well, one time, I know it was because
she made fun of a girl's highlights.

419
00:25:57,556 --> 00:26:03,145
Apparently, Heather told her she looked
like a bale of hay from Temecula.

420
00:26:03,812 --> 00:26:07,233
-That's a very specific insult.
-That is why it stuck with me.

421
00:26:07,316 --> 00:26:09,610
Mmm. Did she live alone?

422
00:26:10,152 --> 00:26:13,030
Oh, no, there's a roommate, Amanda.
Here, give me your pad.

423
00:26:14,448 --> 00:26:19,370
Uh, Amanda would probably know more of,
like, the personal crap about Heather.

424
00:26:19,453 --> 00:26:22,956
Most of the time, we just talked about
what she gave Carys for dinner.

425
00:26:24,208 --> 00:26:27,628
-That's the address.
-You don't dot your I's.

426
00:26:28,962 --> 00:26:30,005
Who needs 'em?

427
00:26:31,340 --> 00:26:34,092
-Heather lived here in the living room?
-Yeah.

428
00:26:34,176 --> 00:26:35,719
This is all of her shit.

429
00:26:35,802 --> 00:26:36,845
[siren wailing]

430
00:26:36,928 --> 00:26:39,931
Um, listen, I have a guy
from Tinder jogging over,

431
00:26:40,015 --> 00:26:41,808
so is there any way
you could come back later?

432
00:26:42,684 --> 00:26:43,685
Forgive me,

433
00:26:43,769 --> 00:26:47,481
but for someone whose roommate just died,
you don't seem very upset.

434
00:26:47,564 --> 00:26:49,107
Oh, no, I'm really sad.

435
00:26:49,191 --> 00:26:50,901
But also, I want this place
to just go back

436
00:26:50,984 --> 00:26:55,197
to being a normal one-bedroom,
because this is a really awkward setup.

437
00:26:55,281 --> 00:26:56,907
You two didn't get along?

438
00:26:56,990 --> 00:26:59,576
No, I mean, she was fine.
Like, if you had your period

439
00:26:59,660 --> 00:27:04,623
and were lying down and complaining...
But, like, she could also be really rude.

440
00:27:04,706 --> 00:27:06,708
What, like making fun of your highlights?

441
00:27:07,000 --> 00:27:09,878
I haven't had highlights since 2014, so...

442
00:27:09,961 --> 00:27:11,755
I'm not keeping track. It's all good.

443
00:27:11,838 --> 00:27:14,883
-What is this used for?
-I don't know.

444
00:27:14,966 --> 00:27:19,305
Uh... [groans] She was actually, like,
a very problematic roommate.

445
00:27:19,388 --> 00:27:21,807
Like, I have my childhood
gymnastics trophies.

446
00:27:21,890 --> 00:27:24,393
I keep them on my headboard.
She thought that was dumb.

447
00:27:24,476 --> 00:27:27,604
So then when I went to the bathroom,
she called me Mary Lou Rectum.

448
00:27:27,688 --> 00:27:31,525
Oh, and then one time, she told me
to tell my tits they could come out

449
00:27:31,608 --> 00:27:34,027
now that my gymnastics career was over.

450
00:27:34,820 --> 00:27:37,573
-She date anybody?
-Heather likes old dudes.

451
00:27:38,199 --> 00:27:41,577
There was one guy she was meeting up with.
I think he was in his forties.

452
00:27:41,660 --> 00:27:45,289
Old dude. [stutters] Yeah,
what do you know about him?

453
00:27:45,372 --> 00:27:48,334
Nothing. Uh, he didn't stay over.
He didn't spend the night.

454
00:27:48,417 --> 00:27:50,711
I do not think he wanted
to be seen in public with her.

455
00:27:50,794 --> 00:27:53,714
-Why's that?
-Well, that's usually really good sex.

456
00:27:53,797 --> 00:27:57,009
When someone hates themself
for stooping to fuck you, you know?

457
00:27:57,593 --> 00:28:00,179
No, uh, uh, I don't. I have no idea.

458
00:28:00,554 --> 00:28:04,891
-Also he bought her a lot of finery.
-Finery? [stutters] What's finery?

459
00:28:04,975 --> 00:28:07,186
You know, luxury clothing
for a modern woman.

460
00:28:08,103 --> 00:28:09,021
Oh.

461
00:28:09,730 --> 00:28:13,317
"Silky Lamb."
Is that like a lotion version of finery?

462
00:28:13,567 --> 00:28:14,651
No, I just told you.

463
00:28:14,735 --> 00:28:17,571
Finery is luxury clothing
for a modern woman.

464
00:28:17,654 --> 00:28:20,073
Listen, my booty call's
about to be here any second,

465
00:28:20,156 --> 00:28:23,577
and he's my favorite match on Tinder,
so I can't have you fucking this up.

466
00:28:23,660 --> 00:28:28,540
-Okay, thank you for being so patient.
-You're welcome. Goodbye!

467
00:28:29,791 --> 00:28:34,170
Lester! Welcome back, my friend.
How was your vacation?

468
00:28:34,255 --> 00:28:38,759
Had a mind to stay in Tahiti longer,
but all these bodies thought different.

469
00:28:39,760 --> 00:28:41,177
Pretty gruesome. What do you think?

470
00:28:41,262 --> 00:28:45,015
Well, something very interesting's
going on. Come on over here.

471
00:28:47,351 --> 00:28:50,396
-You see this sheen coming off her skin?
-I do.

472
00:28:50,479 --> 00:28:53,148
Can you discern that
this woman is unusually greasy?

473
00:28:53,607 --> 00:28:57,110
-She is.
-She is very well creamed.

474
00:28:57,193 --> 00:29:01,114
-This here's a very well-creamed body.
-She seems unusually greasy.

475
00:29:01,197 --> 00:29:03,074
-You don't see this often.
-That makes sense.

476
00:29:03,158 --> 00:29:07,579
I was just at her apartment.
She had an extremely nice jar of lotion.

477
00:29:07,663 --> 00:29:09,873
Are you sure that jar you saw
said "lotion"?

478
00:29:09,956 --> 00:29:11,958
When I see the word "lotion,"
I don't forget.

479
00:29:12,042 --> 00:29:15,629
No, no, no, no, no.
This here's not lotion. This here's cream.

480
00:29:15,712 --> 00:29:18,089
-Well, what's the difference?
-You don't know?

481
00:29:18,173 --> 00:29:20,926
-I don't know.
-Well, lotion's water-based.

482
00:29:21,009 --> 00:29:25,472
You apply it liberally all over your body.
But cream is oil-based.

483
00:29:25,556 --> 00:29:28,517
You got to be careful with cream.
Lil' dab'll do ya.

484
00:29:30,226 --> 00:29:32,354
Um, I'm sorry,
[stutters] I didn't get that.

485
00:29:32,438 --> 00:29:33,605
Can you repeat that for me?

486
00:29:33,689 --> 00:29:35,399
Okay, listen carefully.

487
00:29:35,482 --> 00:29:38,694
Lotion is water-based.
Use as much of that as you want.

488
00:29:38,777 --> 00:29:40,612
Don't matter. It's water-based.

489
00:29:40,696 --> 00:29:44,616
But cream, that's oil-based.
You hear me? Oil-based.

490
00:29:44,700 --> 00:29:48,078
-Lil' dab'll do ya.
-Okay, so lotion, I go crazy.

491
00:29:48,161 --> 00:29:49,913
-Yeah.
-Do what I want. All over.

492
00:29:49,996 --> 00:29:53,542
-Now what's the story with cream again?
-Lil' dab'll do ya.

493
00:29:53,625 --> 00:29:55,586
Thank you. Thank you.

494
00:29:55,669 --> 00:29:59,255
Anyway, she was killed
via blunt force to the head.

495
00:29:59,340 --> 00:30:01,967
You see this globe-shaped dent
here on her skull?

496
00:30:02,050 --> 00:30:05,637
-Yeah.
-Well, weapon was about yea big.

497
00:30:06,262 --> 00:30:10,141
-Well, what about the dismemberment?
-Well, that was all postmortem.

498
00:30:10,225 --> 00:30:15,439
But what's most notable about the job is,
whoever did it was very, very sloppy.

499
00:30:15,522 --> 00:30:19,025
Just jabbing here and there
till the limb come off.

500
00:30:19,109 --> 00:30:21,695
Jabbing. Lil' jab'll do ya.

501
00:30:22,446 --> 00:30:25,657
-Get the fuck on out of here.
-Okay. [chuckling]

502
00:30:25,741 --> 00:30:27,075
[indistinct chatter]

503
00:30:28,410 --> 00:30:29,620
Cell phone records, bam.

504
00:30:29,703 --> 00:30:32,205
Okay, so, uh, most of these calls
are to be expected, right?

505
00:30:32,288 --> 00:30:34,666
We got the job, roommate, parents,
pot dealer, pussy waxer.

506
00:30:34,750 --> 00:30:36,793
But then there's a number that repeats.

507
00:30:36,877 --> 00:30:39,380
Traces to an office landline registered
to an executive.

508
00:30:39,463 --> 00:30:42,298
Lloyd Vanderwheel. He's in fireworks.

509
00:30:44,009 --> 00:30:46,094
-Well--
-[Tucker] Handsome!

510
00:30:46,177 --> 00:30:49,014
-Oh, shit. [sniffles]
-We need to talk now!

511
00:30:49,097 --> 00:30:50,349
[Fleur] Mmm.

512
00:30:51,725 --> 00:30:52,893
[clears throat]

513
00:30:57,731 --> 00:31:01,192
-Meet you in the car?
-Yeah. See you there.

514
00:31:03,404 --> 00:31:07,741
[sighs] So, how'd you like the cookies?

515
00:31:08,909 --> 00:31:11,578
Um... [stutters]
They were great. Amazing.

516
00:31:11,661 --> 00:31:13,246
-Ah, really?
-Yeah.

517
00:31:14,205 --> 00:31:17,376
Because truth be told,
they weren't leftovers.

518
00:31:17,459 --> 00:31:21,463
I made that batch just for you.

519
00:31:23,339 --> 00:31:25,091
[chuckles]

520
00:31:25,175 --> 00:31:31,264
I just want you to know that I'm here.
At the station. At your house.

521
00:31:31,347 --> 00:31:34,560
Not my house. I have a family visiting
from Caracas. They're very nice.

522
00:31:34,643 --> 00:31:39,940
I just don't know how they feel
about the sound of gentle lovemaking.

523
00:31:40,023 --> 00:31:44,570
Or raunchy lovemaking.
Whatever. Just sounds in general.

524
00:31:44,653 --> 00:31:46,530
Why did I come here to see you?
That's right.

525
00:31:46,613 --> 00:31:51,159
The retirement papers. Sign 'em, Handsome.
You're not fooling anybody.

526
00:31:51,242 --> 00:31:54,245
And by the way, my tubes are tied.

527
00:32:00,961 --> 00:32:02,295
You gotta fix this door.

528
00:32:03,338 --> 00:32:05,591
-Yeah, I will.
-[door creaks]

529
00:32:06,508 --> 00:32:07,509
[Handsome groans]

530
00:32:17,478 --> 00:32:20,564
It's a booming, sparkling morning.
Can I help you?

531
00:32:20,647 --> 00:32:24,526
Yes. Detectives Handsome and Scozzari
of the LAPD.

532
00:32:24,610 --> 00:32:27,237
Uh, we're here
to see one Mr. Lloyd Vanderwheel.

533
00:32:27,320 --> 00:32:30,198
-One moment, please. Mr. Vander...
-[phone beeps]

534
00:32:30,281 --> 00:32:32,618
Oh, shoot. My finger slipped.
[chuckles]

535
00:32:32,701 --> 00:32:35,370
-Mr. Vander... Oh, shoot.
-[Lloyd] <i>Uh, yes, Sky. What's going on?</i>

536
00:32:35,454 --> 00:32:37,956
I'm sorry.
[stuttering] I got excited

537
00:32:38,039 --> 00:32:41,417
and I pushed the button too soon,
Mr. Vanderwheel. [chuckles nervously]

538
00:32:41,502 --> 00:32:45,756
<i>-Sky, don't push the button.</i>
-Oh, God! Go ahead. No, I...

539
00:32:45,839 --> 00:32:47,466
<i>Sky? Sky?</i>

540
00:32:47,549 --> 00:32:50,176
Hey, uh, forget about the intercom.

541
00:32:52,262 --> 00:32:54,931
-[phone beeps]
-These detectives are here to see you.

542
00:32:55,849 --> 00:32:58,309
So, uh, what's this all about?

543
00:32:58,393 --> 00:33:00,854
-[Handsome] Do the thing.
-Yeah. [clears throat]

544
00:33:01,772 --> 00:33:02,939
[inhales deeply]

545
00:33:04,149 --> 00:33:05,651
-Mmm-hmm.
-[shutter clicks]

546
00:33:06,359 --> 00:33:07,360
[Lloyd] What...

547
00:33:07,443 --> 00:33:08,987
[stammers] What was that for?

548
00:33:09,070 --> 00:33:11,907
Oh. Oh, this? Don't worry about it.

549
00:33:11,990 --> 00:33:13,742
-You look great in this shot.
-[cell phone chimes]

550
00:33:13,825 --> 00:33:17,662
Ah, then again, bet you've never taken
a shitty photo in your life, huh?

551
00:33:17,954 --> 00:33:19,247
-Is this about...
-[cell phone chimes]

552
00:33:19,330 --> 00:33:21,833
...the Lancaster Jazz
and Heritage Festival?

553
00:33:21,917 --> 00:33:23,627
Did we go too big? Uh...

554
00:33:24,127 --> 00:33:27,088
I just got caught up with, uh...

555
00:33:27,673 --> 00:33:30,258
So clearly, you're familiar
with Heather Dromgoole.

556
00:33:31,635 --> 00:33:33,803
-Heather?
-You were seeing her romantically?

557
00:33:34,387 --> 00:33:39,392
No. No, no, no, no, no. She's...
she's an old family friend from back east.

558
00:33:40,644 --> 00:33:42,812
The kid of my parents' friends.

559
00:33:43,730 --> 00:33:48,234
Uh, she moved out here recently
and, um, I was helping her get set up.

560
00:33:48,318 --> 00:33:49,528
Oh.

561
00:33:50,028 --> 00:33:51,237
So you guys aren't a thing?

562
00:33:52,238 --> 00:33:54,324
-No, I'm... I'm single.
-[Fleur] Oh.

563
00:33:55,325 --> 00:33:58,537
-So you're single?
-Yeah. I'm single.

564
00:33:58,620 --> 00:34:00,288
-He's single.
-I was asking!

565
00:34:00,371 --> 00:34:02,999
Okay, she'd be calling you regularly for?

566
00:34:03,083 --> 00:34:06,461
Just to get advice. Check in.

567
00:34:07,379 --> 00:34:10,674
She got real lonely in LA, as one does.

568
00:34:12,008 --> 00:34:14,720
I think she looked to me
like a bit of a father figure.

569
00:34:14,803 --> 00:34:18,682
-Oh, yeah, Daddy?
-Yeah. That's right.

570
00:34:18,765 --> 00:34:20,183
[chuckles]

571
00:34:20,266 --> 00:34:23,604
So why you asking all these questions
about Heather? Did she get arrested?

572
00:34:23,687 --> 00:34:25,021
Why would you say that?

573
00:34:25,105 --> 00:34:27,440
Uh, maybe blackmail.

574
00:34:28,399 --> 00:34:31,653
I know she had a...
a bit of a blackmail incident

575
00:34:31,737 --> 00:34:33,279
with her high school English teacher.

576
00:34:33,363 --> 00:34:36,700
You know, I had a, uh, black male incident

577
00:34:36,783 --> 00:34:41,121
with my sexy-ass
black high school English teacher, too.

578
00:34:42,747 --> 00:34:46,042
Heather was the victim of a murder
on Thursday night.

579
00:34:46,668 --> 00:34:48,587
Oh, my God! Uh...

580
00:34:49,545 --> 00:34:51,089
I'm sorry.

581
00:34:51,172 --> 00:34:55,677
What? [stuttering] I... This...
I can't believe this. Wow.

582
00:34:56,469 --> 00:34:57,721
I mean...

583
00:34:58,930 --> 00:35:02,768
I can't believe this,
but I can believe this.

584
00:35:02,851 --> 00:35:04,269
-Excuse me?
-Huh?

585
00:35:04,352 --> 00:35:08,440
You know, some people, you can't
imagine anyone wanting to murder.

586
00:35:09,357 --> 00:35:10,358
But Heather?

587
00:35:13,945 --> 00:35:14,946
You know?

588
00:35:16,489 --> 00:35:18,325
But still, it's devastating.

589
00:35:19,159 --> 00:35:21,536
Jesus. God. Jesus.

590
00:35:21,620 --> 00:35:24,497
Any ideas of who would be upset with her?

591
00:35:25,206 --> 00:35:28,126
Uh, no. No one comes to mind.

592
00:35:28,918 --> 00:35:30,253
-Wow.
-[intercom beeps]

593
00:35:30,336 --> 00:35:31,630
-[Sky] <i>Mr. Vander...</i>
-[intercom key clacking]

594
00:35:31,713 --> 00:35:33,089
Oh.

595
00:35:33,173 --> 00:35:36,885
I'm... I'm sorry.
My one o'clock is here.

596
00:35:36,968 --> 00:35:39,638
Um, but, hey, let me give you my card.

597
00:35:39,721 --> 00:35:45,143
And, uh, you guys can give me a call
if you have any, uh, more questions.

598
00:35:45,226 --> 00:35:48,813
-Who's that?
-Oh, that's, uh... It's my kid, Carys.

599
00:35:49,648 --> 00:35:52,984
She's the biggest sweetheart.
Anyway, here.

600
00:35:53,484 --> 00:35:57,948
Yeah, just give me a call, uh, if you have
any names you wanna run by me

601
00:35:58,031 --> 00:36:03,453
and I'll help however I can.
I... aim to please.

602
00:36:06,289 --> 00:36:08,166
Oh, give me a fuckin' break.

603
00:36:08,249 --> 00:36:10,626
I'm not buying
the whole father-figure thing.

604
00:36:10,711 --> 00:36:14,464
-Thank you very much.
-Sure. Have an explosive day.

605
00:36:14,547 --> 00:36:17,175
I mean, who calls
their fake dad that much?

606
00:36:17,258 --> 00:36:19,052
[Fleur] Yeah, yeah, it's very suspicious.

607
00:36:19,135 --> 00:36:20,553
You know, I just, uh...

608
00:36:20,636 --> 00:36:23,807
[stammering] I realized I gotta go
to the bathroom, like, bad.

609
00:36:24,474 --> 00:36:26,559
-It's okay, I'll wait.
-No, you know what? [stammers]

610
00:36:26,642 --> 00:36:28,687
Could take a while,
so why don't you just go ahead,

611
00:36:28,770 --> 00:36:30,731
and, uh, I'll take a cab
back to the station.

612
00:36:30,814 --> 00:36:32,733
That's okay.
It's gonna be that long of a trip?

613
00:36:33,859 --> 00:36:35,068
[exhales sharply]

614
00:36:35,151 --> 00:36:36,611
Yeah, uh... [sniffles]

615
00:36:36,695 --> 00:36:40,741
-Okay, I'll just sit and meditate.
-Nah. Nah, nah, nah. You know, you go on.

616
00:36:40,824 --> 00:36:42,117
I mean, like the lady said,

617
00:36:42,200 --> 00:36:43,952
[chuckles]
it's gonna be an explosive day, right?

618
00:36:44,035 --> 00:36:47,663
-Interesting.
-What? What?

619
00:36:48,498 --> 00:36:49,499
[knocking on door]

620
00:36:50,625 --> 00:36:51,918
[door opens]

621
00:36:52,002 --> 00:36:55,213
-Hi there.
-Why are you talking to me?

622
00:36:55,296 --> 00:36:58,925
Ooh, the detective.
Just busy detecting, aren't you?

623
00:36:59,425 --> 00:37:01,845
I'm Charles, Carys' friend.

624
00:37:01,928 --> 00:37:04,139
We met while making fun
of the mailman's calves.

625
00:37:04,639 --> 00:37:06,391
Hi, Charles, nice to meet you.

626
00:37:06,474 --> 00:37:10,686
Carys, could you tell your mother
that Detective Handsome's here to see her?

627
00:37:10,771 --> 00:37:15,608
Oh, we're off to check out a four-bed,
three-bath open house. So... [chuckles]

628
00:37:16,526 --> 00:37:18,236
[Nora] Oh, hi, Gene. Come on in.

629
00:37:18,987 --> 00:37:21,448
Hi, um, I was driving home from work,

630
00:37:21,531 --> 00:37:23,742
and I thought of something I wanted
to ask you.

631
00:37:24,784 --> 00:37:28,204
-Are you hungry? Do you want some pasta?
-No, I'm good. I'm good.

632
00:37:29,039 --> 00:37:31,917
Were you aware
that your ex-husband knew Heather?

633
00:37:33,960 --> 00:37:37,881
-What? Lloyd was fucking Heather?
-Well, he says that he wasn't.

634
00:37:37,964 --> 00:37:40,675
Oh! [grunts] You know what?
I bet he got off on the fact

635
00:37:40,759 --> 00:37:43,804
-that he was fucking my babysitter.
-So you definitely didn't know?

636
00:37:43,887 --> 00:37:46,056
He would fuck my gardener
just to rattle me,

637
00:37:46,139 --> 00:37:48,141
'cause that's just
the kind of guy that he is.

638
00:37:48,224 --> 00:37:49,267
[door opens]

639
00:37:49,350 --> 00:37:51,853
-[Devon] Knock, knock.
-Oh, hey, neighbor.

640
00:37:51,937 --> 00:37:53,604
[chuckles] Hey.

641
00:37:53,688 --> 00:37:59,360
[sighs] Aroma of the forest floor.
Full-bodied. Jammy finish.

642
00:37:59,444 --> 00:38:02,488
-That's what's in store for you tonight.
-Wow, thank you.

643
00:38:02,572 --> 00:38:05,533
-"Wow" is right.
-You two know each other? Yeah?

644
00:38:06,201 --> 00:38:08,536
-Devon.
-Uh... [chuckles]

645
00:38:08,619 --> 00:38:11,998
Yeah, we do. Handsome here has broken up
quite a few of my house parties.

646
00:38:12,082 --> 00:38:15,668
I affectionately like to call him
Detective Buzzkill. [chuckling]

647
00:38:15,751 --> 00:38:18,880
I wouldn't call four strippers playing
with your dreidel collection

648
00:38:18,964 --> 00:38:20,006
a house party.

649
00:38:22,050 --> 00:38:27,597
Sounds fun. Devon and I met when I was
watering the flowers in this very window.

650
00:38:27,680 --> 00:38:31,977
Mmm-hmm. And I was staring
into her house over the fence.

651
00:38:32,060 --> 00:38:34,312
-And then he waved at me.
-Oh...

652
00:38:34,395 --> 00:38:35,605
-[Devon] I'm a waver.
-[Nora] Mmm-hmm.

653
00:38:35,688 --> 00:38:38,399
Then we locked eyes
and there's a moment where we were like,

654
00:38:38,483 --> 00:38:42,111
"We should probably have dinner together."
And we're about to do that.

655
00:38:44,280 --> 00:38:45,406
Cool, cool.

656
00:38:46,574 --> 00:38:48,284
[accordion playing]

657
00:38:54,249 --> 00:38:55,750
[Esta moaning]

658
00:38:56,667 --> 00:38:58,169
[Durante] Oh, Esta.

659
00:39:00,171 --> 00:39:03,716
Put that accordion on my abs.

660
00:39:04,634 --> 00:39:06,677
[Durante and Esta moaning and grunting]

661
00:39:18,899 --> 00:39:22,568
And, uh... a, uh, double cheeseburger.

662
00:39:22,652 --> 00:39:24,905
Okay, and would you like to
make that a meal?

663
00:39:24,988 --> 00:39:27,866
You know what? Give me
the single cheeseburger on its own

664
00:39:27,949 --> 00:39:30,076
and make
the double cheeseburger a meal. Yes.

665
00:39:30,160 --> 00:39:32,828
Okay, and what beverage
would you like with your meal?

666
00:39:34,789 --> 00:39:35,915
You know what? Fuck it.

667
00:39:35,999 --> 00:39:37,667
-Chocolate milkshake.
-[man] Okay.

668
00:39:41,337 --> 00:39:42,380
[sighs]

669
00:39:42,463 --> 00:39:47,468
I'm sorry, I know you guys
are church kids. Excuse the salty talk.

670
00:39:47,552 --> 00:39:49,595
It's okay. Satan gets all of us sometimes.

671
00:39:49,679 --> 00:39:54,100
Yeah. You know, tonight's the last night
I'm gonna eat this crap.

672
00:39:54,184 --> 00:39:58,063
I mean, no offense to Norm's Burger.
I don't mean that your food's crap.

673
00:39:58,146 --> 00:40:00,481
It's just...
It's not good for a guy like me.

674
00:40:01,191 --> 00:40:03,568
Yep, this is it.
Gonna start fresh tomorrow.

675
00:40:03,651 --> 00:40:05,528
I think that's great.
You can be your best self.

676
00:40:05,611 --> 00:40:07,405
I can be my best self!

677
00:40:07,488 --> 00:40:08,698
-Very kind of you.
-Yeah.

678
00:40:14,955 --> 00:40:17,290
Weren't you just out back there
with the other guy?

679
00:40:17,373 --> 00:40:19,459
Oh, the headset's broken, so...

680
00:40:19,542 --> 00:40:23,213
Yeah. Sort of like old-fashioned service.

681
00:40:23,296 --> 00:40:25,590
-Uh, yeah, a bit like that.
-Okay.

682
00:40:25,673 --> 00:40:27,217
Uh, $9.57's your total.

683
00:40:27,300 --> 00:40:28,593
I was ready.

684
00:40:29,928 --> 00:40:33,431
Thirty-two, please.
Number 32, your order is ready.

685
00:41:01,626 --> 00:41:05,171
Okay, so this is her debit.
I flagged some interesting purchases.

686
00:41:05,255 --> 00:41:08,674
Uh, okay, you tell me, who the fuck spends
900 bucks in one pop at Hallmark?

687
00:41:08,758 --> 00:41:10,176
Hey? Come on.

688
00:41:10,260 --> 00:41:11,886
I mean, otherwise, it seems kosher.

689
00:41:11,970 --> 00:41:15,390
Uh, this one is
her Victoria's Secret Angel Card.

690
00:41:15,473 --> 00:41:19,602
I mean, the girl could not resist a "buy
five panties, get the sixth free" event.

691
00:41:19,685 --> 00:41:21,687
And, uh, here's her PayPal.

692
00:41:22,981 --> 00:41:26,401
I found something
which I think will intrigue you.

693
00:41:26,484 --> 00:41:28,653
Okay? What's that?

694
00:41:29,988 --> 00:41:33,074
-Did you sign off on this?
-Yeah. Why?

695
00:41:37,620 --> 00:41:38,829
What the fuck?

696
00:41:38,913 --> 00:41:42,125
-When did she start wearing ties to work?
-I don't know. Oh!

697
00:41:42,875 --> 00:41:47,797
She's getting regular deposits
from MrFFF@aol.com.

698
00:41:47,880 --> 00:41:51,176
Fireworks, Fireworks, Fireworks, huh?

699
00:41:51,259 --> 00:41:55,722
He's putting $500 a week into her account.
What's he paying her for?

700
00:41:56,097 --> 00:41:58,433
I guess it must be out of the goodness
of his heart, right?

701
00:42:00,226 --> 00:42:02,937
Where's the, uh, cell phone records?

702
00:42:03,021 --> 00:42:07,983
And they're underneath, uh, this.
And I've got them.

703
00:42:08,068 --> 00:42:10,986
And okay. How about this?

704
00:42:11,071 --> 00:42:15,450
Heather, Mondays at 7:30 p.m.,
is calling Lloyd.

705
00:42:15,533 --> 00:42:20,371
Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday,
also calling Lloyd.

706
00:42:20,455 --> 00:42:24,417
Same time. Fridays...
You ready for this?

707
00:42:24,667 --> 00:42:28,421
1:30 p.m., she calls Lloyd.
Take a guess why.

708
00:42:28,504 --> 00:42:30,673
-Chits and chats at Chuckie's?
-Yes!

709
00:42:30,756 --> 00:42:32,717
-Yeah.
-Yes! That sounds like fun.

710
00:42:32,800 --> 00:42:37,222
Friday is the day
that Heather gets off work early.

711
00:42:37,305 --> 00:42:40,015
Nora works until 1:00.

712
00:42:40,100 --> 00:42:42,477
She comes home.
She says goodbye to Heather.

713
00:42:42,560 --> 00:42:47,398
Heather goes out.
Who does she call? Mr. FFF.

714
00:42:47,482 --> 00:42:50,485
That's right.
I think she's reporting to him.

715
00:42:52,570 --> 00:42:56,699
Well, Mr. Vanderwheel,
looks like we're having a reunion.

716
00:42:56,782 --> 00:42:59,494
-[grunts] Hey, you.
-Hey, you.

717
00:43:02,037 --> 00:43:03,914
Don't play coy with me!

718
00:43:03,998 --> 00:43:07,001
I know I'm looking at two people
who did the hokeypokey yesterday.

719
00:43:07,085 --> 00:43:08,878
-What? [chuckles nervously]
-Bingo.

720
00:43:08,961 --> 00:43:14,217
Okay, you were giving money to Heather
to spy on your ex-wife.

721
00:43:15,135 --> 00:43:16,136
Uh...

722
00:43:17,052 --> 00:43:18,304
What? [chuckles]

723
00:43:18,387 --> 00:43:19,388
I see you.

724
00:43:20,098 --> 00:43:22,600
Oh, I see you clearly.

725
00:43:23,184 --> 00:43:27,063
And let's not waste this moment
of beautiful transparency

726
00:43:27,147 --> 00:43:32,485
by watching you throw
a pile of stinky bullshit at my face.

727
00:43:32,568 --> 00:43:33,486
Okay!

728
00:43:33,736 --> 00:43:37,532
Okay, I planted Heather
in Nora's home to get dirt on her.

729
00:43:38,283 --> 00:43:40,326
We're in the midst of a custody battle.

730
00:43:40,410 --> 00:43:43,288
And Heather would tell me things
Nora would forget to do,

731
00:43:43,371 --> 00:43:45,123
like get Carys her flu shot.

732
00:43:45,206 --> 00:43:48,793
She told me the crap
that Nora was feeding my kid.

733
00:43:48,876 --> 00:43:50,836
She told me what would stress Nora out.

734
00:43:50,920 --> 00:43:53,631
Besides me and my lawyer.

735
00:43:53,714 --> 00:43:55,883
[Fleur] Okay.
Look, I'm gonna ask you a few questions,

736
00:43:55,966 --> 00:44:00,846
and, uh, Handsome over here's gonna know
if you're telling the truth or not.

737
00:44:02,056 --> 00:44:03,266
Uh...

738
00:44:03,349 --> 00:44:06,144
Did Heather turn on you
and threaten to give you up to your wife?

739
00:44:06,227 --> 00:44:07,061
No.

740
00:44:08,688 --> 00:44:13,526
No. Uh, was Heather blackmailing you
for even more money?

741
00:44:13,609 --> 00:44:14,610
No.

742
00:44:14,694 --> 00:44:16,404
Did you like that move I did yesterday

743
00:44:16,487 --> 00:44:19,740
where I made your dick bend
all the way to the right?

744
00:44:19,824 --> 00:44:22,034
[softly] I loved it.

745
00:44:26,497 --> 00:44:29,709
-[Sky] Bye! Have an explosive day.
-Thank you.

746
00:44:30,418 --> 00:44:31,752
You can go in now.

747
00:44:33,254 --> 00:44:34,880
-Talking to me?
-Yeah.

748
00:44:37,091 --> 00:44:39,093
[sighs] Appreciate it.

749
00:44:51,772 --> 00:44:56,902
Hey, Sky, is that the, uh, book
of all your company's work?

750
00:44:56,986 --> 00:44:58,321
Mmm-hmm. Sure is.

751
00:44:58,404 --> 00:45:01,532
Wow, those are beautiful fireworks.

752
00:45:01,616 --> 00:45:02,867
-[Fleur] Oh, yeah.
-Really.

753
00:45:02,950 --> 00:45:04,368
[Fleur] Very impactful.

754
00:45:05,703 --> 00:45:07,788
Could I borrow that book
for a couple of days?

755
00:45:09,749 --> 00:45:13,461
Well, this is the coffee table book.

756
00:45:13,544 --> 00:45:16,088
Well, you've already taken it
off the coffee table.

757
00:45:16,171 --> 00:45:19,425
Yeah, you have a point.
But it'll go back over there soon.

758
00:45:21,636 --> 00:45:24,972
If you remove it,
then what would I put on the coffee table?

759
00:45:25,055 --> 00:45:27,267
-You don't have a second book?
-No.

760
00:45:27,350 --> 00:45:29,852
We get a monthly fireworks magazine,

761
00:45:29,935 --> 00:45:32,397
but it's not nice for putting out.
[chuckles lightly]

762
00:45:32,480 --> 00:45:34,607
You could consider this an opportunity.

763
00:45:34,690 --> 00:45:37,234
-An opportunity?
-Yeah.

764
00:45:37,318 --> 00:45:38,903
To get a second book.

765
00:45:39,487 --> 00:45:43,824
You could get a book
on fireworks, plants, carpentry.

766
00:45:43,908 --> 00:45:45,826
Whatever you want. You're in charge.

767
00:45:54,502 --> 00:45:55,836
It's time.

768
00:45:58,088 --> 00:45:59,299
[sighs]

769
00:46:01,842 --> 00:46:03,177
Hi, Gene.

770
00:46:03,803 --> 00:46:06,347
-Nora, how're you doing?
-Good!

771
00:46:06,430 --> 00:46:11,143
So, I think the mailman put one
of your letters in my slot by mistake.

772
00:46:12,312 --> 00:46:15,356
Indeed they did. Thank you very much.

773
00:46:15,440 --> 00:46:17,775
-Can I ask you something?
-Sure.

774
00:46:18,359 --> 00:46:22,321
Is that someone you put in jail
and now they send you threats?

775
00:46:22,822 --> 00:46:24,740
[scoffs] No. Nothing like that.

776
00:46:24,824 --> 00:46:28,077
-Oh, come on. Tell me.
-No, it's not. [sighs]

777
00:46:29,203 --> 00:46:31,664
A while back, I was into this woman.

778
00:46:31,872 --> 00:46:35,626
Her brother was in prison.
She said, "Could I look at his case?"

779
00:46:35,710 --> 00:46:39,171
I did some investigating.
And there wasn't much I could do.

780
00:46:39,255 --> 00:46:40,923
But I started a correspondence with him,

781
00:46:41,007 --> 00:46:43,884
and I thought it was gonna be
a temporary thing,

782
00:46:44,468 --> 00:46:47,680
and here I am, ten years later,
still getting letters.

783
00:46:47,763 --> 00:46:49,640
So you still read his letters?

784
00:46:49,724 --> 00:46:52,560
Of course! I feel bad tossing 'em.

785
00:46:52,643 --> 00:46:56,313
Besides, every once in a while,
he writes some nice poetry.

786
00:46:56,397 --> 00:46:57,857
[laughs]

787
00:46:58,941 --> 00:47:00,360
What are you up to this evening?

788
00:47:00,443 --> 00:47:02,945
Oh, well, I'm on my own tonight.

789
00:47:03,028 --> 00:47:05,990
Just doing some online gambling.
Carys is with her dad.

790
00:47:06,073 --> 00:47:08,158
-Oh.
-Mmm-hmm.

791
00:47:08,242 --> 00:47:09,702
I'm always on my own.

792
00:47:09,785 --> 00:47:10,828
-Well.
-Yeah.

793
00:47:11,746 --> 00:47:13,330
Would you like to come in?

794
00:47:14,415 --> 00:47:17,126
-[Nora] Were you working late?
-Um...

795
00:47:18,335 --> 00:47:22,089
No, I was just, uh,
out doing some errands.

796
00:47:22,172 --> 00:47:23,298
-Hmm.
-Not a big deal.

797
00:47:23,383 --> 00:47:24,759
[chuckles lightly]

798
00:47:28,387 --> 00:47:29,347
You need another pillow?

799
00:47:31,181 --> 00:47:32,933
Uh, no, I'm comfortable.

800
00:47:34,519 --> 00:47:35,811
-Yeah.
-Mmm-hmm.

801
00:47:35,895 --> 00:47:38,313
-How about some music?
-Oh, yeah, that'd be great.

802
00:47:38,398 --> 00:47:39,649
Fantastic.

803
00:47:39,732 --> 00:47:44,779
You are in luck,
'cause I just started buying 45s.

804
00:47:44,862 --> 00:47:47,448
Last time I collected these,
I was a little kid.

805
00:47:47,990 --> 00:47:51,827
My first 45 was "I Think I Love You"
by the Partridge Family.

806
00:47:51,911 --> 00:47:53,871
Maybe that dates me. I don't know.

807
00:47:54,580 --> 00:47:57,291
Well, anyhow,
this is one of my favorite songs.

808
00:47:58,376 --> 00:48:00,086
["Fooled Around And Fell In Love" playing]

809
00:48:00,169 --> 00:48:02,088
Mmm-hmm, that's Elvin Bishop.

810
00:48:02,922 --> 00:48:03,923
Oh...

811
00:48:05,007 --> 00:48:06,091
Yeah.

812
00:48:06,175 --> 00:48:08,177
-This is a good one.
-Yeah.

813
00:48:25,194 --> 00:48:26,862
<i>♪ I must have been... ♪</i>

814
00:48:26,946 --> 00:48:30,700
Elvin's a blues guitarist.
Blues guitarist.

815
00:48:30,783 --> 00:48:32,618
His voice is very gravelly,

816
00:48:32,702 --> 00:48:33,953
and so, he wrote this song

817
00:48:34,036 --> 00:48:36,330
and didn't feel it was right
for his voice.

818
00:48:36,413 --> 00:48:38,082
So he, uh...

819
00:48:38,165 --> 00:48:42,503
He let his, uh, backup singer,
Mickey Thomas, sing the song.

820
00:48:42,587 --> 00:48:45,214
And it went on to be a big hit. Big hit.

821
00:48:46,632 --> 00:48:48,008
[groans]

822
00:48:48,092 --> 00:48:49,176
[mumbles]

823
00:48:51,971 --> 00:48:55,933
Yeah. Yeah.
I like this chair better. Yeah.

824
00:48:57,727 --> 00:48:58,728
[exhales]

825
00:48:58,811 --> 00:49:01,230
<i>♪ I fell in love ♪</i>

826
00:49:01,313 --> 00:49:02,314
Mmm.

827
00:49:03,232 --> 00:49:08,445
I find the wooziness of that guitar

828
00:49:08,529 --> 00:49:10,239
so romantic.

829
00:49:10,322 --> 00:49:11,532
Yeah.

830
00:49:17,246 --> 00:49:20,165
Elvin Bishop's nickname
was Pigboy Crabshaw.

831
00:49:20,249 --> 00:49:22,084
How about that? Pigboy Crabshaw!

832
00:49:22,167 --> 00:49:24,879
Where's a name like that come from?
[sighs]

833
00:49:24,962 --> 00:49:26,296
I'm sorry. [cries]

834
00:49:27,590 --> 00:49:30,300
Wow. [sobbing]

835
00:49:30,384 --> 00:49:32,177
-What's going on?
-Oh...

836
00:49:33,137 --> 00:49:35,097
I'm fine. [chuckles]

837
00:49:35,180 --> 00:49:37,808
I am a bit concerned.
You know, you're crying.

838
00:49:37,892 --> 00:49:42,229
No, no, no, no, no.
[stutters] It's fine. I just, um...

839
00:49:42,312 --> 00:49:43,313
Wow.

840
00:49:44,857 --> 00:49:50,988
[sighs] That song
is just evoking something

841
00:49:51,071 --> 00:49:57,119
I want so badly for myself that it aches.

842
00:49:58,996 --> 00:50:00,414
For my kid.

843
00:50:02,207 --> 00:50:04,960
I have this dream of owning land.

844
00:50:05,044 --> 00:50:06,211
[chuckles lightly]

845
00:50:06,295 --> 00:50:11,091
[sniffles] And, um,
I think about Ojai all the time.

846
00:50:11,967 --> 00:50:15,054
And in my dream,
we have a couple acres. Nothing fancy.

847
00:50:15,763 --> 00:50:21,393
Enough that we have those,
like, big beautiful reaching trees.

848
00:50:23,646 --> 00:50:25,397
And a bunch of dogs.

849
00:50:27,274 --> 00:50:30,653
And they just run through the grass
with Carys, and...

850
00:50:32,029 --> 00:50:34,824
God! I love dogs so much.

851
00:50:37,284 --> 00:50:43,415
And in my fantasy, I'm not, like, staring
into people's decaying mouths anymore.

852
00:50:43,499 --> 00:50:48,837
I'm massaging beautiful dogs for a living.

853
00:50:49,338 --> 00:50:50,506
It's my job.

854
00:50:51,757 --> 00:50:56,011
And I'm spending time with my daughter.

855
00:50:56,095 --> 00:51:00,725
My weird... [cries] awesome kid.

856
00:51:04,436 --> 00:51:06,063
[sniffles] And, you know, we're just...

857
00:51:06,146 --> 00:51:09,399
we're so far away
from all of the fighting, and the...

858
00:51:09,483 --> 00:51:14,029
and all the lawyers,
and just all of that crap.

859
00:51:17,449 --> 00:51:18,367
God.

860
00:51:19,326 --> 00:51:23,163
And for some reason... [sniffles]
in this song, I can just...

861
00:51:23,247 --> 00:51:24,832
I can really feel that.

862
00:51:26,417 --> 00:51:27,293
[sniffles]

863
00:51:28,127 --> 00:51:30,880
I can feel what it would be like
to have that.

864
00:51:33,507 --> 00:51:34,967
God! [sniffles]

865
00:51:35,926 --> 00:51:37,594
That's why I'm crying.

866
00:51:39,513 --> 00:51:41,682
-I have the same exact dream.
-[snickers]

867
00:51:42,892 --> 00:51:46,478
-[chuckling] You do?
-Yeah. Exactly the same.

868
00:51:47,521 --> 00:51:50,024
I dream about the open land,

869
00:51:50,107 --> 00:51:53,610
the green, the trees, the dogs.

870
00:51:53,694 --> 00:51:55,738
Specifically, this dog.

871
00:51:55,821 --> 00:52:00,534
And, uh, not being a dog masseuse.
That's not something I'm interested in.

872
00:52:00,617 --> 00:52:01,869
It's not for everybody.

873
00:52:01,952 --> 00:52:06,581
But, um, you know,
[stutters] I love all that.

874
00:52:06,666 --> 00:52:11,754
And one thing that I don't have,
that you have, is just the family aspect.

875
00:52:11,837 --> 00:52:14,256
I... I dream of having a family. Yeah.

876
00:52:15,174 --> 00:52:16,175
[clicks tongue] Hmm.

877
00:52:19,553 --> 00:52:22,139
[sighs heavily] Isn't it so weird

878
00:52:22,932 --> 00:52:28,145
how you can miss something
that you never had?

879
00:52:29,063 --> 00:52:30,064
It is.

880
00:52:32,316 --> 00:52:33,818
[both chuckle lightly]

881
00:52:49,249 --> 00:52:50,459
You want some tea?

882
00:52:53,253 --> 00:52:54,254
Hmm?

883
00:52:58,300 --> 00:52:59,760
[inhales sharply]

884
00:53:01,095 --> 00:53:03,764
What do you think about a shaved pussy?

885
00:53:07,559 --> 00:53:08,602
What?

886
00:53:15,650 --> 00:53:17,069
[sighs]

887
00:53:38,465 --> 00:53:39,466
[groans] Hmm.

888
00:53:40,300 --> 00:53:42,511
Yeah. I'm getting up.

889
00:53:44,346 --> 00:53:45,514
[grunts]

890
00:54:45,365 --> 00:54:46,366
Huh.

891
00:55:20,275 --> 00:55:23,487
Then she mumbled,
"What do you think about a shaved pussy?"

892
00:55:23,570 --> 00:55:25,197
I mean, who says something like that?

893
00:55:25,280 --> 00:55:29,243
Was she casually checking out my opinion?
Was she taking a poll?

894
00:55:29,326 --> 00:55:31,120
Was she gauging my interest?
What is that?

895
00:55:31,203 --> 00:55:34,331
Hey, look, I mean, it could've just been
a point of personal curiosity,

896
00:55:34,414 --> 00:55:37,334
like, "What do you think
of this shade of lipstick?" type of thing.

897
00:55:37,417 --> 00:55:39,503
-[clears throat]
-[sighs] That's what I'm afraid of.

898
00:55:39,586 --> 00:55:44,049
Yeah. Speaking of which,
I have a very slightly achy vagina today.

899
00:55:44,133 --> 00:55:45,342
I'm so sorry.

900
00:55:45,425 --> 00:55:48,303
Eh, I'm walking a little funny.
I mean, look, it's only slightly.

901
00:55:49,263 --> 00:55:50,764
[Handsome] Mr. Vanderwheel!

902
00:55:50,847 --> 00:55:52,557
[indistinct chatter]

903
00:55:58,438 --> 00:56:01,733
-You're a difficult man to get ahold of.
-His girth is nuts.

904
00:56:03,110 --> 00:56:04,153
Hey.

905
00:56:04,236 --> 00:56:08,448
Uh, heard from Sky that you were out here,
uh, hooking up another event,

906
00:56:08,532 --> 00:56:11,035
and so, uh, I just got
a few more questions for you.

907
00:56:11,118 --> 00:56:12,119
That's no problem.

908
00:56:12,202 --> 00:56:16,206
Tell me about the, uh, Lalalime party.

909
00:56:16,623 --> 00:56:19,459
Did I ever tell you? Uh, you know,
I fucked the founder of Lalalime once.

910
00:56:19,543 --> 00:56:21,461
I got a free pair of pants out of it,
so...

911
00:56:21,545 --> 00:56:22,712
-Very helpful.
-Yeah.

912
00:56:22,796 --> 00:56:25,507
Yeah, right, yeah,
we did the show for that party, yeah.

913
00:56:25,591 --> 00:56:27,342
And did you, uh, bring Heather?

914
00:56:27,718 --> 00:56:29,761
Actually, yeah, I did.

915
00:56:30,012 --> 00:56:32,597
When she found out
it was, uh, a celebrity-packed thing,

916
00:56:32,681 --> 00:56:33,765
she begged to come.

917
00:56:33,848 --> 00:56:38,103
Said that I could back off
on buying her expensive finery

918
00:56:38,187 --> 00:56:40,647
in exchange for me bringing her
as my assistant.

919
00:56:40,731 --> 00:56:41,940
Sorry, back up. "Finery"?

920
00:56:42,816 --> 00:56:44,193
What's that?

921
00:56:44,276 --> 00:56:47,029
I don't know.
But she talked about it all the time.

922
00:56:47,112 --> 00:56:49,739
It's luxury clothing for the modern woman.

923
00:56:50,324 --> 00:56:51,825
Okay. What the fuck?

924
00:56:51,908 --> 00:56:53,868
-So I know. Shoot me.
-[sighs]

925
00:56:53,953 --> 00:56:56,956
Hey, look, was she, uh, talking
to any particular people at this party?

926
00:56:57,039 --> 00:56:58,040
Anything we should know?

927
00:56:58,457 --> 00:57:01,376
I mean, she definitely was
making the rounds,

928
00:57:01,460 --> 00:57:04,671
but I was so busy overseeing
the Dragon Dicks, I couldn't...

929
00:57:04,755 --> 00:57:05,714
[chuckles]

930
00:57:05,797 --> 00:57:10,552
Oh, it's, uh... It's an industry nickname
for grounded fountains.

931
00:57:10,636 --> 00:57:13,639
Uh, anyway, I couldn't, like,
keep an eye on her nonstop.

932
00:57:14,139 --> 00:57:16,433
-There were, uh, gift bags there, correct?
-Yeah.

933
00:57:16,516 --> 00:57:18,143
-From, uh, the Silky Lamb?
-What?

934
00:57:18,226 --> 00:57:19,937
-Did you get one?
-Oh, no, no, no, no. No.

935
00:57:20,020 --> 00:57:23,899
Those... those bags weren't for us.
Those were closely guarded.

936
00:57:24,483 --> 00:57:26,109
Apparently, in these bags,

937
00:57:26,193 --> 00:57:29,989
there was a lotion and a cream
that was worth 1,000 bucks.

938
00:57:30,572 --> 00:57:32,491
-You say a lotion and a cream?
-Yeah.

939
00:57:32,992 --> 00:57:34,784
A thousand bucks.
Can you believe that?

940
00:57:34,868 --> 00:57:36,453
Lotion and a cream?

941
00:57:36,536 --> 00:57:38,372
Heather tried to take a bag.
They made her give it back.

942
00:57:38,455 --> 00:57:40,499
Said it was only for famous people.

943
00:57:40,707 --> 00:57:41,959
-Are we good?
-We're good.

944
00:57:42,042 --> 00:57:44,169
-Got all we need. Thank you.
-All right.

945
00:57:44,253 --> 00:57:45,254
[Fleur] Thank you.

946
00:57:47,714 --> 00:57:50,342
Oh, hey, uh,
so listen, I was just thinking, uh...

947
00:57:50,425 --> 00:57:53,387
I think I'm gonna hang back for a second,
get more details on the party.

948
00:57:53,470 --> 00:57:55,180
Nothing you need to concern yourself with,

949
00:57:55,263 --> 00:57:57,015
I just wanna make sure we cover our bases.

950
00:57:58,558 --> 00:58:02,437
Where is this, uh, gonna take place?
I don't see any space for that.

951
00:58:02,521 --> 00:58:04,939
Oh, yeah. Well, you wouldn't, right?
[chuckles] So...

952
00:58:05,024 --> 00:58:06,150
[sighs]

953
00:58:06,233 --> 00:58:07,817
[cell phone ringing]

954
00:58:11,113 --> 00:58:11,947
Handsome.

955
00:58:12,656 --> 00:58:16,076
Ingredient analysis on the girl's cream
came back from the lab.

956
00:58:16,160 --> 00:58:18,120
<i>It matches a rarified brand.</i>

957
00:58:18,203 --> 00:58:19,496
Fancy-pants.

958
00:58:20,330 --> 00:58:21,498
Silky Lamb?

959
00:58:21,581 --> 00:58:23,917
<i>-That's it!</i>
-Of course it is.

960
00:58:24,001 --> 00:58:26,503
-Lil' dab'll do ya.
<i>-Indeed, Lester.</i>

961
00:58:26,586 --> 00:58:29,506
A lil' dab'll do ya. Have a good day.

962
00:58:43,103 --> 00:58:44,646
[door creaks]

963
00:58:52,362 --> 00:58:54,031
[dog barking in the distance]

964
00:59:19,056 --> 00:59:20,890
[barking continues]

965
00:59:53,382 --> 00:59:55,049
[grunting]

966
00:59:55,134 --> 00:59:56,801
Oh, my fucking back!

967
01:00:01,973 --> 01:00:03,725
[continues grunting]

968
01:00:06,270 --> 01:00:07,937
[groaning] Ow.

969
01:00:11,816 --> 01:00:13,527
My back. Ow.

970
01:00:13,610 --> 01:00:16,280
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

971
01:00:16,363 --> 01:00:17,822
[groaning]

972
01:00:25,247 --> 01:00:27,207
Yeah. I'll get you some water.

973
01:00:27,291 --> 01:00:29,042
Oh, is that good!

974
01:00:29,126 --> 01:00:32,546
Look at how delicious this water is!
You're gonna love it.

975
01:00:32,629 --> 01:00:34,714
All right. Mmm, diggity.

976
01:00:35,465 --> 01:00:37,342
All right. There you go.

977
01:00:37,425 --> 01:00:41,304
This'll make you feel better. All right.
[grunts]

978
01:00:41,388 --> 01:00:44,516
Let's get some... air for you.

979
01:00:45,809 --> 01:00:46,643
Ah, there we go.

980
01:00:49,938 --> 01:00:53,233
Feel better? Feels nice, right? [sniffles]

981
01:00:53,317 --> 01:00:55,194
-What we got going on?
-[whimpers]

982
01:01:22,304 --> 01:01:23,847
[knocking on door]

983
01:01:28,185 --> 01:01:30,229
Detective, well!

984
01:01:30,312 --> 01:01:33,273
Come to check on my well-being?
Now that's service.

985
01:01:33,357 --> 01:01:36,235
-Yeah. I'm in the service industry.
-[chuckles]

986
01:01:41,740 --> 01:01:43,575
I'm sorry, did I interrupt your swim?

987
01:01:43,658 --> 01:01:45,410
Oh, no, it's fine, it's fine.

988
01:01:45,494 --> 01:01:48,288
You know, there comes a point
at which one can be too fit.

989
01:01:48,372 --> 01:01:49,873
I've gotta watch myself sometimes.

990
01:01:49,956 --> 01:01:53,210
Yeah, as, uh, an actor,
your body is your instrument.

991
01:01:53,293 --> 01:01:54,378
That's so true.

992
01:01:54,461 --> 01:01:58,715
You know, when I'm performing,
I'm never just delivering a line. I'm...

993
01:01:58,798 --> 01:02:00,217
vibrating.

994
01:02:01,510 --> 01:02:03,720
No wonder the ladies love you so much.

995
01:02:05,722 --> 01:02:08,308
My vibrating isn't something
to joke about.

996
01:02:09,184 --> 01:02:10,435
Right, right.

997
01:02:11,478 --> 01:02:17,567
So I just came by to make sure
that all your windows and doors are secure

998
01:02:17,651 --> 01:02:20,153
and nothing could happen, you know...

999
01:02:20,237 --> 01:02:23,365
Well, this is a bit, uh...
Oh, good. All right.

1000
01:02:23,448 --> 01:02:26,951
Yeah. Yeah. That is solid as a rock.

1001
01:02:27,035 --> 01:02:28,620
You are good to go.

1002
01:02:28,703 --> 01:02:30,497
Do you have any other doors like this
in your house?

1003
01:02:30,580 --> 01:02:33,708
-Why, yes! Off the balcony in my bedroom.
-Mmm.

1004
01:02:33,792 --> 01:02:35,585
By the way, there's no ice in there.

1005
01:02:37,587 --> 01:02:39,673
That's wonderful. After you.

1006
01:02:44,010 --> 01:02:46,721
Yeah, you wouldn't want anyone coming
in here while you're sleeping,

1007
01:02:46,805 --> 01:02:47,931
being vulnerable.

1008
01:02:48,014 --> 01:02:49,057
Oh, God, no.

1009
01:02:49,140 --> 01:02:51,310
My emotional vulnerability is already
at such peak level.

1010
01:02:51,393 --> 01:02:53,812
To think I'd also
be physically vulnerable? [chuckles]

1011
01:02:55,897 --> 01:03:00,026
Yeah. Well, you know what?
All tight. All good.

1012
01:03:00,110 --> 01:03:01,027
Yeah.

1013
01:03:01,528 --> 01:03:05,031
Well, looky-looky! How about that?

1014
01:03:07,075 --> 01:03:08,702
Got the Silky Lamb.

1015
01:03:09,869 --> 01:03:11,079
How about that?

1016
01:03:11,162 --> 01:03:13,873
You know, I hear great things
about the companion lotion.

1017
01:03:13,957 --> 01:03:15,083
Do you have that, too?

1018
01:03:15,166 --> 01:03:19,004
Well, the lotion I gave to a friend.
The crème is the superior product.

1019
01:03:19,713 --> 01:03:21,465
-The crème<i>?</i>
<i>-</i>Crème<i>.</i>

1020
01:03:23,091 --> 01:03:24,426
Tell me about the crème.

1021
01:03:24,509 --> 01:03:29,180
Do you see how well-moisturized I appear,
even though I just got out of the pool?

1022
01:03:29,263 --> 01:03:31,600
You're a very shiny individual.

1023
01:03:32,559 --> 01:03:35,979
I applied just a dime-sized dollop
of Silky Lamb

1024
01:03:36,062 --> 01:03:38,940
when I got out of bed this morning.
That's it.

1025
01:03:39,524 --> 01:03:40,442
No.

1026
01:03:40,525 --> 01:03:42,986
Yes. It's totally water-resistant.

1027
01:03:43,069 --> 01:03:45,279
Fucking genius! I swear by it.

1028
01:03:45,363 --> 01:03:46,448
A lil' dab'll do ya.

1029
01:03:46,531 --> 01:03:48,575
[laughing] Huh?

1030
01:03:52,245 --> 01:03:55,665
Well, this takes over the room.
Look at that.

1031
01:03:55,749 --> 01:03:57,501
Oh, yes. That was a gift I received,

1032
01:03:57,584 --> 01:03:59,836
when I wrapped the film
<i>Atlas Shrugged Again.</i>

1033
01:04:00,211 --> 01:04:02,797
Yeah, I don't normally do
light romantic comedies,

1034
01:04:02,881 --> 01:04:07,301
but I felt I wanted to give back
to some of my, well, simpler fans.

1035
01:04:07,386 --> 01:04:10,514
Yeah, that movie.
Huh, can't all be winners.

1036
01:04:11,097 --> 01:04:12,265
Um, what?

1037
01:04:12,349 --> 01:04:15,352
Oh, please!
That movie was a piece of crap.

1038
01:04:16,060 --> 01:04:18,438
But, come on, that happens.

1039
01:04:18,522 --> 01:04:20,524
Oh, that reminds me.

1040
01:04:21,274 --> 01:04:23,526
Remember the last time we saw each other,

1041
01:04:23,610 --> 01:04:27,614
we talked about, uh,
your movie <i>Patty-Cake?</i>

1042
01:04:27,989 --> 01:04:29,991
You know, the movie you watched

1043
01:04:30,074 --> 01:04:34,746
the night that that monster dropped
that body off on your front lawn.

1044
01:04:34,829 --> 01:04:37,832
Yes, that was a terrifying evening.
I shall never forget it.

1045
01:04:37,916 --> 01:04:42,462
Well, I watched it because
you got me intrigued by your performance.

1046
01:04:42,546 --> 01:04:44,714
-And?
-Well...

1047
01:04:44,798 --> 01:04:46,591
Well, what?

1048
01:04:46,675 --> 01:04:48,342
You were a kid.
What did you know?

1049
01:04:49,886 --> 01:04:53,390
Well, I'm sorry. [chuckling]
You don't know what you're talking about.

1050
01:04:53,473 --> 01:04:55,850
Oh, come on. Those line readings?

1051
01:04:56,935 --> 01:04:59,813
Bit histrionic, don't you think?
Heavy-handed.

1052
01:04:59,896 --> 01:05:04,859
It's as if you were attempting to act,
as opposed to just acting.

1053
01:05:07,904 --> 01:05:11,116
How fucking dare you.

1054
01:05:11,199 --> 01:05:12,784
I was luminous!

1055
01:05:13,451 --> 01:05:14,953
I fucking killed it.

1056
01:05:15,036 --> 01:05:16,538
[breathing heavily]

1057
01:05:16,621 --> 01:05:20,333
Those scenes hold up,
you fucking half-wit!

1058
01:05:21,876 --> 01:05:23,962
You've got quite a temper.

1059
01:05:24,629 --> 01:05:29,467
I betcha Heather Dromgoole
brought out your dark side

1060
01:05:29,551 --> 01:05:33,054
when she made fun of your performance
right to your face.

1061
01:05:36,099 --> 01:05:38,685
-Never met her.
-Oh, I think otherwise.

1062
01:05:38,768 --> 01:05:43,272
As a matter of fact,
I've got a half-wit theory about it.

1063
01:05:44,190 --> 01:05:45,692
[indistinct chatter]

1064
01:05:53,199 --> 01:05:56,119
[Handsome] <i>I think you met Heather</i>
<i>at the Lalalime party.</i>

1065
01:06:00,206 --> 01:06:03,376
<i>I think when she was denied</i>
<i>a Silky Lamb gift bag,</i>

1066
01:06:03,460 --> 01:06:05,545
<i>she went looking for a celebrity.</i>

1067
01:06:05,629 --> 01:06:07,130
<i>And she found you.</i>

1068
01:06:13,678 --> 01:06:15,429
[inaudible]

1069
01:06:23,813 --> 01:06:27,358
[Handsome] <i>She came home with you.</i>
<i>You two had sex to seal the deal.</i>

1070
01:06:32,739 --> 01:06:36,242
<i>And she landed that Silky Lamb lotion</i>
<i>as a parting gift.</i>

1071
01:06:45,585 --> 01:06:50,131
<i>She stopped by the night of the murder.</i>
<i>Things got sexy again.</i>

1072
01:06:50,214 --> 01:06:54,302
<i>I think you creamed Heather head to toe</i>
<i>before you made love to her.</i>

1073
01:07:05,354 --> 01:07:07,148
[laughing maniacally]

1074
01:07:09,859 --> 01:07:13,780
<i>After sex, you two were lounging around,</i>
<i>flipping through the channels.</i>

1075
01:07:14,531 --> 01:07:17,492
Ooh! Oh! It's my movie.

1076
01:07:17,576 --> 01:07:21,705
[Handsome] <i>You found your own movie!</i>
<i>You never pass up watching your own movie.</i>

1077
01:07:21,788 --> 01:07:23,873
This is the worst thing I've ever seen.

1078
01:07:23,957 --> 01:07:26,960
[Handsome] <i>I think Heather made fun</i>
<i>of your crappy performance.</i>

1079
01:07:27,043 --> 01:07:30,630
Is this, like, before you took
acting classes? This thing sucks.

1080
01:07:30,714 --> 01:07:33,216
Patty-cake, patty-cake, baker's man.

1081
01:07:33,299 --> 01:07:34,843
[Handsome] <i>She had a bad habit of that.</i>

1082
01:07:34,926 --> 01:07:38,012
<i>You know, people I talked to</i>
<i>said she liked to do a little ribbing.</i>

1083
01:07:41,224 --> 01:07:43,226
I think she was standing about right here.

1084
01:07:43,810 --> 01:07:48,231
And then you got angry.
Yeah, real angry.

1085
01:07:49,983 --> 01:07:52,735
<i>You shoved Heather</i>
<i>from a dark place of inner rage.</i>

1086
01:07:53,444 --> 01:07:56,364
<i>But I think she was very greasy.</i>
<i>Very slippery.</i>

1087
01:07:56,948 --> 01:07:59,576
<i>And she fell backwards into your statue,</i>

1088
01:07:59,659 --> 01:08:02,954
<i>which, of course, explains</i>
<i>the globe-shaped dent in her head.</i>

1089
01:08:03,037 --> 01:08:07,208
<i>A woman lay dead on your floor</i>
<i>because of your fragile ego.</i>

1090
01:08:07,875 --> 01:08:09,127
And then you panicked.

1091
01:08:09,210 --> 01:08:12,005
And you went to your neighbor's garage
and you chopped her up

1092
01:08:12,088 --> 01:08:15,759
to make it look like it was
some sort of serial killer type thing.

1093
01:08:15,842 --> 01:08:19,428
Your cuts were so profoundly sloppy

1094
01:08:19,512 --> 01:08:21,640
because your hands were heavily creamed,

1095
01:08:21,723 --> 01:08:24,100
the tools slipping in and out.

1096
01:08:24,183 --> 01:08:28,312
And then you chopped up her body
and threw it out on your front lawn.

1097
01:08:28,396 --> 01:08:30,607
Like a pile of dog shit.

1098
01:08:30,690 --> 01:08:35,403
'Cause who's gonna suspect a killer
of dumping a body on their own front lawn?

1099
01:08:35,486 --> 01:08:38,572
Now here's where I was really confused.

1100
01:08:38,657 --> 01:08:41,701
The Star of David?
That one had me miffed.

1101
01:08:41,785 --> 01:08:43,828
And then, I figured it out!

1102
01:08:43,912 --> 01:08:47,081
You're a self-loathing Jew.
You're a self-loathing Jew.

1103
01:08:47,165 --> 01:08:48,457
[screams]

1104
01:08:48,541 --> 01:08:51,127
[screams and groans]

1105
01:08:51,210 --> 01:08:52,712
[Talbert] You bastard!

1106
01:08:52,796 --> 01:08:55,256
-You're gonna end up dead on my lawn, too!
-Get off me!

1107
01:08:55,339 --> 01:08:56,633
[laughs maniacally]

1108
01:08:56,716 --> 01:08:58,384
[both grunting]

1109
01:08:59,969 --> 01:09:01,429
[struggling]

1110
01:09:01,512 --> 01:09:02,513
[groans]

1111
01:09:03,682 --> 01:09:05,349
[both grunting]

1112
01:09:09,437 --> 01:09:10,604
Freeze, asshole!

1113
01:09:12,649 --> 01:09:15,026
-How?
-The sliding door by the pool.

1114
01:09:15,109 --> 01:09:18,446
[pants] But you checked the door.
You jiggled the handle!

1115
01:09:18,529 --> 01:09:21,866
That was a fake jiggle, my friend.

1116
01:09:22,491 --> 01:09:23,868
I should be an actor.

1117
01:09:28,081 --> 01:09:29,623
[indistinct chatter]

1118
01:09:29,708 --> 01:09:33,252
Well... [grunts] I guess that explains
why my vagina was achy all morning.

1119
01:09:33,336 --> 01:09:34,378
Why's that?

1120
01:09:34,462 --> 01:09:38,049
Well, you know, it knew you were gonna
need help. It was pulsing a warning.

1121
01:09:38,132 --> 01:09:40,134
So that's your finely-tuned intuition?

1122
01:09:40,218 --> 01:09:42,011
Oh, yeah. Either that or,

1123
01:09:42,095 --> 01:09:44,597
you know, my pussy can't handle
more than four toes anymore.

1124
01:09:44,681 --> 01:09:45,974
-[laughs]
-I hope it's not that.

1125
01:09:46,057 --> 01:09:48,977
-I love you for so many reasons.
-Yeah, yeah, yeah.

1126
01:09:51,604 --> 01:09:53,690
[Joe] Hey, Bacorn, nice bathrobe.

1127
01:09:53,773 --> 01:09:55,524
Fuck you, Joe Kenda. Fuck you!

1128
01:09:56,442 --> 01:09:58,027
You wouldn't like me. I just lay there.

1129
01:10:03,157 --> 01:10:05,159
-Lieutenant.
-Detective Handsome.

1130
01:10:05,243 --> 01:10:07,286
I told you it was the ex-boyfriend.

1131
01:10:07,620 --> 01:10:10,957
The old "If I can't have you,
no one can have you" trick.

1132
01:10:12,083 --> 01:10:15,628
Yeah, that's a... that's a good theory,
uh, but he's not the ex...

1133
01:10:15,712 --> 01:10:19,298
Well, yes, he's the ex-boyfriend.
Good one. Good theory.

1134
01:10:22,969 --> 01:10:24,345
What the fuck?

1135
01:10:25,471 --> 01:10:27,849
Hi. [stammers] What is going on here?

1136
01:10:27,932 --> 01:10:30,434
Hi. Detective Handsome, LAPD.

1137
01:10:30,518 --> 01:10:32,103
-Kaley. You know...
-Hi, Kaley.

1138
01:10:32,186 --> 01:10:33,271
I live right there.

1139
01:10:33,354 --> 01:10:34,522
-You live right there.
-Yeah.

1140
01:10:34,605 --> 01:10:35,689
So it's your dog.

1141
01:10:35,773 --> 01:10:38,401
-Oh, my God, is... is my dog okay?
-Dog's good.

1142
01:10:38,985 --> 01:10:41,988
Oh. What is this shit going on
next to my house, man?

1143
01:10:42,071 --> 01:10:44,949
Uh, your neighbor, uh, murdered somebody.

1144
01:10:45,033 --> 01:10:47,368
This is ridiculous.
I just got back from vacation.

1145
01:10:47,451 --> 01:10:50,704
And here I am, coming back
to all this commotion next to my house.

1146
01:10:50,789 --> 01:10:52,706
Wait a second.
You're Kaley Cuoco.

1147
01:10:54,250 --> 01:10:55,835
-Yeah.
-Wow.

1148
01:10:55,919 --> 01:10:57,879
-I love saying your name.
-Oh.

1149
01:10:57,962 --> 01:10:59,422
-It's a delight.
-That's nice.

1150
01:10:59,505 --> 01:11:01,174
It rolls off the tongue. Kaley Cuoco.

1151
01:11:01,257 --> 01:11:03,676
Do you need any help solving this one?

1152
01:11:03,760 --> 01:11:05,053
-No, we're good.
-Okay.

1153
01:11:05,136 --> 01:11:07,972
Even though you're Kaley Cuoco
and I'd love to say, "Come on in."

1154
01:11:08,056 --> 01:11:09,182
-[chuckles] Okay.
-It's all solved.

1155
01:11:09,265 --> 01:11:11,350
-All right. Great.
-He's being taken away.

1156
01:11:11,434 --> 01:11:12,476
This is so fucked up.

1157
01:11:12,560 --> 01:11:14,937
You know what... Driver!
Take me back to the airport.

1158
01:11:16,272 --> 01:11:18,274
-Enjoy your good looks.
-All right.

1159
01:11:18,357 --> 01:11:19,358
Wow.

1160
01:11:24,322 --> 01:11:26,240
[narrator] <i>"A Lil' Epilogue'll Do Ya."</i>

1161
01:11:27,950 --> 01:11:31,287
Wow, I am so lucky that I met you.

1162
01:11:32,705 --> 01:11:35,041
Honestly,
I look at your face and I just...

1163
01:11:35,708 --> 01:11:38,127
[chuckles] I don't even know
how to talk about it.

1164
01:11:38,211 --> 01:11:41,130
Seriously, this feeling I have is just...

1165
01:11:41,214 --> 01:11:44,092
bigger than anything
I could ever explain to you.

1166
01:11:44,175 --> 01:11:46,177
I cannot believe that you...

1167
01:11:46,260 --> 01:11:48,554
Miss, we're just about wrapped up inside
and ready to bail.

1168
01:11:48,637 --> 01:11:51,850
Great! Thank you.
You can call me Nora.

1169
01:11:51,933 --> 01:11:54,477
-Hmm, Nora it is.
-[chuckles]

1170
01:11:54,560 --> 01:11:56,813
And we found this Tupperware of cookies
on the side of the washer.

1171
01:11:56,896 --> 01:11:57,981
You taking these with?

1172
01:11:58,064 --> 01:11:59,816
Oh, no, those are gross.
You can toss them out.

1173
01:11:59,899 --> 01:12:00,984
All right.

1174
01:12:02,651 --> 01:12:03,820
[Nora] Hmm.

1175
01:12:05,488 --> 01:12:06,697
[inhales sharply]

1176
01:12:06,781 --> 01:12:09,575
Anyway, back to what I was saying before.

1177
01:12:10,284 --> 01:12:13,454
I cannot believe you have done this
for me. I really can't.

1178
01:12:13,955 --> 01:12:17,917
Well, if a person can make someone else
happy, they ought to do it, right?

1179
01:12:18,001 --> 01:12:21,921
Right. I can tell it makes you a little
uncomfortable to be thanked, so I'll stop.

1180
01:12:22,004 --> 01:12:23,798
We were gonna have you up
once we get settled,

1181
01:12:23,881 --> 01:12:27,844
but then I realized
you would not be comfortable with that.

1182
01:12:27,927 --> 01:12:29,720
I don't think
I'd be uncomfortable with--

1183
01:12:29,803 --> 01:12:32,849
Yeah, no, I know you would hate
that power dynamic.

1184
01:12:32,932 --> 01:12:37,228
Me, just, like, so grateful. [chuckles]
You, a goddamn angel.

1185
01:12:37,311 --> 01:12:38,980
I don't know that
I would go calling me an angel.

1186
01:12:39,063 --> 01:12:40,731
Yeah. And like an angel,

1187
01:12:40,814 --> 01:12:43,817
it's better for you
to just stay at a distance.

1188
01:12:43,901 --> 01:12:45,194
Observe from the clouds.

1189
01:12:45,862 --> 01:12:50,449
[laughing] You don't want me calling you
and sticking around in your life.

1190
01:12:50,533 --> 01:12:53,119
I know you would not be comfortable
with an arrangement like that,

1191
01:12:53,202 --> 01:12:54,370
so I'll save you from the pressure.

1192
01:12:54,453 --> 01:12:55,746
[stammers] I'd be comfortable.
It'd be okay.

1193
01:12:55,829 --> 01:12:57,165
Yeah. Carys!

1194
01:12:57,248 --> 01:12:58,499
Honey, come here.

1195
01:13:00,209 --> 01:13:03,880
I want you to say thank you to Gene
before we never see him again, okay?

1196
01:13:03,963 --> 01:13:05,048
I don't want to.

1197
01:13:05,131 --> 01:13:06,215
-[Handsome] That's okay.
-[Nora] Carys.

1198
01:13:06,299 --> 01:13:08,551
-She doesn't have to, it's not--
-I wasn't finished.

1199
01:13:09,051 --> 01:13:11,345
I don't wanna thank him in words.

1200
01:13:11,637 --> 01:13:14,182
I'll thank him with a dance.

1201
01:13:16,434 --> 01:13:20,438
This is the shining youth of America.
[chortles]

1202
01:13:33,117 --> 01:13:34,160
[Charles vocalizing]

1203
01:13:34,243 --> 01:13:37,663
[whispering] Yes, yes, yes.

1204
01:13:47,798 --> 01:13:48,799
Ha!

1205
01:13:55,598 --> 01:13:59,060
Well, I think I should be thanking you.

1206
01:13:59,310 --> 01:14:01,562
That was something.

1207
01:14:02,521 --> 01:14:03,606
[Nora] Hmm.

1208
01:14:06,609 --> 01:14:07,818
[Nora sighs]

1209
01:14:09,445 --> 01:14:10,529
Goodbye, Gene.

1210
01:14:12,698 --> 01:14:13,532
Forever.

1211
01:14:19,372 --> 01:14:20,539
We're all good, Nora.

1212
01:14:24,043 --> 01:14:26,379
-Oh, okay.
-[chuckles] Mmm.

1213
01:14:28,006 --> 01:14:29,715
[both] Mmm...

1214
01:14:31,467 --> 01:14:32,676
[Nora] Mmm.

1215
01:14:33,719 --> 01:14:34,928
[man] Mmm.

1216
01:14:36,222 --> 01:14:37,348
[Nora] Ah.

1217
01:14:40,018 --> 01:14:42,520
-[Handsome softly] Oh, boy.
-[Nora and man] Mmm.

1218
01:14:43,479 --> 01:14:44,605
-[chuckles]
-Mmm.

1219
01:14:49,485 --> 01:14:51,237
[moving truck engine starting]

1220
01:14:51,320 --> 01:14:52,488
[door opens and closes]

1221
01:14:55,491 --> 01:14:56,617
[car door opens and closes]

1222
01:14:56,700 --> 01:14:58,036
[car engine starts]

1223
01:15:05,835 --> 01:15:11,132
Boy, uh...
that's, uh, not what I expected.

1224
01:15:13,050 --> 01:15:15,052
It is what it is. Yeah.

1225
01:15:17,846 --> 01:15:19,640
<i>Au revoir,</i> Detective.

1226
01:15:20,849 --> 01:15:23,061
-Yeah, later, Charles.
-Yeah. Excuse me.

1227
01:15:25,063 --> 01:15:26,064
Um...

1228
01:15:27,398 --> 01:15:29,733
-You're in... you're in my way.
-Yeah, yeah.

1229
01:15:31,069 --> 01:15:32,945
Yeah, come on.
Candy, over here.

1230
01:15:33,029 --> 01:15:34,738
-Okay.
-All right.

1231
01:15:40,786 --> 01:15:43,539
All right, come on, sweetie.
Let's go, come on.

1232
01:15:50,880 --> 01:15:52,465
[Durante] Hey, Handsome!

1233
01:15:52,965 --> 01:15:54,967
Neighbors moving out already?

1234
01:15:56,969 --> 01:15:58,096
-[Candy barks]
-[Handsome] Shh.

1235
01:15:58,179 --> 01:16:00,264
-[barking continues]
-[softly] It's okay.

1236
01:16:00,348 --> 01:16:02,475
Yeah, she's heading out to Ojai.

1237
01:16:02,558 --> 01:16:04,560
She got a couple acres
and a little farmhouse.

1238
01:16:04,643 --> 01:16:05,978
What's she gonna do out there?

1239
01:16:06,062 --> 01:16:08,606
Well, she's given up
being a dental assistant.

1240
01:16:08,689 --> 01:16:11,734
She's gonna go into canine massage.

1241
01:16:11,817 --> 01:16:13,944
She found a program there.

1242
01:16:14,027 --> 01:16:18,157
Two hundred hours, you're in.
It's kind of holistic. She's very excited.

1243
01:16:18,908 --> 01:16:21,952
Wonder what kind of money
you can make massaging dogs.

1244
01:16:22,536 --> 01:16:23,412
She'll be fine.

1245
01:16:27,500 --> 01:16:29,252
It is what it is.

1246
01:16:29,794 --> 01:16:30,920
[accordion playing]

1247
01:16:34,715 --> 01:16:35,841
Later.

1248
01:16:36,801 --> 01:16:38,761
Coming, Esta!

1249
01:16:42,390 --> 01:16:43,724
[door closes]

1250
01:16:45,434 --> 01:16:47,060
[whispers] Yeah. Go ahead.

1251
01:17:18,926 --> 01:17:20,928
[surf rock music playing]

1251
01:17:21,305 --> 01:17:27,603
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