1
00:00:00,004 --> 00:00:03,101
The Carmichael Show is recorded in
front of a live studio audience.
2
00:00:03,102 --> 00:00:04,501
Wow, Nekeisha.
3
00:00:04,502 --> 00:00:05,669
This place looks a lot different
4
00:00:05,670 --> 00:00:06,937
from when Bobby used to live here.
5
00:00:06,938 --> 00:00:10,140
Yes, hot pink and animal print.
6
00:00:10,141 --> 00:00:14,645
Oh, you're making a lot
of bold choices in here.
7
00:00:14,646 --> 00:00:16,347
This looks like the front room
8
00:00:16,348 --> 00:00:18,882
where you pay to get in the strip club.
9
00:00:18,883 --> 00:00:20,684
Joe!
10
00:00:20,685 --> 00:00:23,721
I need to explain something;
I've been to strip clubs.
11
00:00:23,722 --> 00:00:26,924
Man, I am excited about
moving back in here.
12
00:00:26,925 --> 00:00:28,759
You know, giving our
relationship another shot.
13
00:00:28,760 --> 00:00:31,729
But-but this time, it's not
a real relationship at all.
14
00:00:31,730 --> 00:00:33,631
It's just two platonic friends,
15
00:00:33,632 --> 00:00:37,434
uh, sharing the rent and a bathroom
16
00:00:37,435 --> 00:00:39,603
and sexual tension.
17
00:00:39,604 --> 00:00:41,772
There will be no sexual tension, Bobby.
18
00:00:41,773 --> 00:00:44,842
See, there it is.
19
00:00:44,843 --> 00:00:48,112
Okay, Joe, so how many strip
clubs are we talking about?
20
00:00:48,113 --> 00:00:49,513
(chuckles)
21
00:00:49,514 --> 00:00:51,215
I can't believe I...
22
00:00:51,216 --> 00:00:52,716
remember something trivial like that.
23
00:00:52,717 --> 00:00:54,118
That's like me asking you
24
00:00:54,119 --> 00:00:56,519
how many Burlington Coat
Factories you been to.
25
00:00:58,122 --> 00:00:59,456
Seven.
26
00:00:59,457 --> 00:01:02,391
I've been to seven
Burlington Coat Factories, Joe.
27
00:01:03,694 --> 00:01:05,728
Thirty-two.
28
00:01:09,667 --> 00:01:11,635
Look at you. You're moving
out of Mom and Dad's,
29
00:01:11,636 --> 00:01:12,936
and that's amazing.
30
00:01:12,937 --> 00:01:14,571
And you're moving back in
with your ex-wife,
31
00:01:14,572 --> 00:01:16,173
and that's...
32
00:01:16,174 --> 00:01:17,607
amazing.
33
00:01:18,709 --> 00:01:19,877
Uh, Nekeisha, is this ottoman
34
00:01:19,878 --> 00:01:21,612
- okay to sit on?
- Uh, that's not a ottoman.
35
00:01:21,613 --> 00:01:23,981
That is just one of my sweaters
thrown over some shoeboxes,
36
00:01:23,982 --> 00:01:25,816
but you can sit on it.
37
00:01:25,817 --> 00:01:27,116
Oh.
38
00:01:28,152 --> 00:01:30,788
I'll just stand. (chuckles)
39
00:01:30,789 --> 00:01:32,790
Thank you so much for having us.
40
00:01:32,791 --> 00:01:33,957
(knocking on door)
41
00:01:33,958 --> 00:01:35,492
Nekeisha, you expecting somebody?
42
00:01:35,493 --> 00:01:36,794
MAN: Nekeisha Williams.
43
00:01:36,795 --> 00:01:38,028
I know you're home.
44
00:01:38,029 --> 00:01:39,630
- Shh. Everybody shut up.
- Open up.
45
00:01:39,631 --> 00:01:41,498
Are we in danger?
46
00:01:41,499 --> 00:01:42,499
(chuckles nervously)
47
00:01:42,500 --> 00:01:43,801
Nekeisha, who's at the door?
48
00:01:43,802 --> 00:01:45,936
- No one.
- Who wants to play a game?
49
00:01:45,937 --> 00:01:47,037
Ooh, ooh, I got a game.
50
00:01:47,038 --> 00:01:48,105
It's called, uh,
51
00:01:48,106 --> 00:01:50,374
who the hell is at the door, Nekeisha?
52
00:01:50,375 --> 00:01:51,642
(knocking)
53
00:01:51,643 --> 00:01:52,943
I got a game.
54
00:01:52,944 --> 00:01:54,111
Let's play Follow the Leader.
55
00:01:54,112 --> 00:01:56,046
Out the window, down the fire escape.
56
00:01:56,047 --> 00:01:57,681
Line up fastest to slowest.
57
00:01:57,682 --> 00:01:59,083
Well, how do we know who's fastest?
58
00:01:59,084 --> 00:02:01,384
See you in the car, Joe!
59
00:02:02,286 --> 00:02:03,687
What is going on here, Nekeisha?
60
00:02:03,688 --> 00:02:05,322
MAN: Open the door or I'm coming in.
61
00:02:05,323 --> 00:02:07,658
Nekeisha, I need you
to be honest with me.
62
00:02:07,659 --> 00:02:10,092
Do you have cocaine in this apartment?
63
00:02:11,595 --> 00:02:13,734
You cannot come in here.
That is illegal to come
64
00:02:13,735 --> 00:02:15,461
into somebody's apartment
without their permission.
65
00:02:15,462 --> 00:02:18,089
No, it's illegal for you not to
pay your rent for three months.
66
00:02:18,090 --> 00:02:20,637
We've already given you
your final eviction notice.
67
00:02:20,638 --> 00:02:22,172
We've been through this before.
68
00:02:22,173 --> 00:02:24,174
Don't act surprised.
69
00:02:24,175 --> 00:02:26,009
Wait, wait, wait, wait. Evicted?
70
00:02:26,010 --> 00:02:29,179
I just moved all my stuff in here.
71
00:02:29,180 --> 00:02:31,581
Then you can act surprised.
72
00:02:32,449 --> 00:02:35,051
And I told you, no pets.
73
00:02:38,018 --> 00:02:41,125
♪ ♪
74
00:02:45,475 --> 00:02:52,075
Subtitle sync and corrections by
awaqeded for www.addic7ed.com.
75
00:02:53,362 --> 00:02:54,874
Can you believe that guy?
76
00:02:54,875 --> 00:02:56,944
Kicking me out of my own home.
77
00:02:57,062 --> 00:02:58,778
Shoot, you? He kicked both of us out.
78
00:03:00,446 --> 00:03:02,847
Look, Nekeisha,
of course he kicked you out.
79
00:03:02,848 --> 00:03:04,749
He said you hadn't paid
your rent in three months.
80
00:03:04,750 --> 00:03:06,417
I mean, what did you expect to happen?
81
00:03:06,418 --> 00:03:08,719
I thought he had to hand me
the eviction notice in person,
82
00:03:08,720 --> 00:03:11,421
so I just kept trying to avoid him.
83
00:03:12,289 --> 00:03:14,191
How did you get so far behind?
84
00:03:14,192 --> 00:03:15,559
They kept doubling my rent.
85
00:03:15,560 --> 00:03:18,195
Ever since that Whole Foods
moved in around the corner,
86
00:03:18,196 --> 00:03:19,358
I don't know what it is,
87
00:03:19,359 --> 00:03:20,931
but there's something
about cold-pressed juice
88
00:03:20,932 --> 00:03:23,033
that make people feel safe.
89
00:03:23,034 --> 00:03:24,402
(sighs)
90
00:03:24,403 --> 00:03:25,970
It's been a rough day.
91
00:03:25,971 --> 00:03:28,406
I'm just gonna unbutton
my pants and lay down.
92
00:03:28,407 --> 00:03:31,008
Excuse me.
93
00:03:31,009 --> 00:03:33,344
You know, there's a term for
what's going on with Nekeisha.
94
00:03:33,345 --> 00:03:34,512
Poverty?
95
00:03:34,513 --> 00:03:37,148
Or a bad attitude?
96
00:03:37,149 --> 00:03:38,616
You know, she's kind of
97
00:03:38,617 --> 00:03:42,520
like if a TSA agent and a
postal worker had a baby.
98
00:03:42,521 --> 00:03:44,155
What? No, no.
99
00:03:44,156 --> 00:03:46,424
You know, it's no coincidence
that a Whole Foods moved in
100
00:03:46,425 --> 00:03:48,292
and Nekeisha is getting pushed out.
101
00:03:48,293 --> 00:03:51,028
It's called gentrification,
and she's a victim.
102
00:03:51,029 --> 00:03:52,363
She's a victim?
103
00:03:52,364 --> 00:03:54,131
She's unbuttoning her pants
in our bed right now.
104
00:03:54,132 --> 00:03:55,733
I think we're the victims.
105
00:03:55,734 --> 00:03:58,769
Gentrification. I've heard
Spike Lee say that word
106
00:03:58,770 --> 00:04:01,539
on CNN every 25 minutes.
107
00:04:01,540 --> 00:04:03,007
Yeah, that's one of those long words
108
00:04:03,008 --> 00:04:04,542
I was told to be afraid of.
109
00:04:04,543 --> 00:04:06,644
Gentrification, hypertension,
110
00:04:06,645 --> 00:04:09,547
refinance...
111
00:04:09,548 --> 00:04:11,782
I know I'm missing a word,
but y'all get the point.
112
00:04:11,783 --> 00:04:12,983
Yeah.
113
00:04:12,984 --> 00:04:15,352
Well, Dad, let me explain
what gentrification is.
114
00:04:15,353 --> 00:04:17,721
You see, gentrification is
a beautiful thing where...
115
00:04:17,722 --> 00:04:19,789
Mesothelioma!
116
00:04:23,928 --> 00:04:25,830
I knew I was missing a word.
117
00:04:25,831 --> 00:04:27,431
Carry on.
118
00:04:27,432 --> 00:04:30,367
Well, gentrification is essentially
119
00:04:30,368 --> 00:04:32,269
when developers look at
a neighborhood the way
120
00:04:32,270 --> 00:04:34,271
Richard Gere looked at
Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman.
121
00:04:34,272 --> 00:04:37,308
You know, you see past
all the flaws of the past.
122
00:04:37,309 --> 00:04:39,677
You see a perfect spot for a Starbucks
123
00:04:39,678 --> 00:04:43,981
or an Ethiopian restaurant
run by non-Ethiopians.
124
00:04:43,982 --> 00:04:47,685
So you're saying gentrification
is like when rich people
125
00:04:47,686 --> 00:04:49,820
say to a neighborhood,
"I can change you."
126
00:04:49,821 --> 00:04:52,823
And the neighborhood is like,
"Good, because I want to leave
127
00:04:52,824 --> 00:04:55,459
this dirty prostitution life behind."
128
00:04:55,460 --> 00:04:57,194
And-and the rich people
129
00:04:57,195 --> 00:04:59,463
are like, "Well, I'm gonna
give you a bunch of money.
130
00:04:59,464 --> 00:05:01,432
"Go clean yourself up so
you don't embarrass me
131
00:05:01,433 --> 00:05:02,733
in front of my classy friends."
132
00:05:02,734 --> 00:05:04,034
Yes, yes.
133
00:05:04,035 --> 00:05:05,436
That's exactly what it is, Ma.
134
00:05:05,437 --> 00:05:07,838
It's when really nice rich people
135
00:05:07,839 --> 00:05:09,874
give a bad neighborhood
a new beginning.
136
00:05:09,875 --> 00:05:13,043
What? That is such a glorified
view of gentrification.
137
00:05:13,044 --> 00:05:14,778
Well, what is it, then?
138
00:05:14,779 --> 00:05:18,415
And can you use a movie example?
139
00:05:18,416 --> 00:05:20,351
Well, I don't have a movie example,
140
00:05:20,352 --> 00:05:22,253
but I can just tell you what it means,
141
00:05:22,254 --> 00:05:24,021
- if that works.
- JOE: Well, I suppose,
142
00:05:24,022 --> 00:05:26,357
but just know I'm gonna be
thinking of a movie example
143
00:05:26,358 --> 00:05:28,759
the whole time.
144
00:05:28,760 --> 00:05:31,128
Look, gentrification
is when developers see
145
00:05:31,129 --> 00:05:32,763
an opportunity to make money
146
00:05:32,764 --> 00:05:34,365
off of a low-income community.
147
00:05:34,366 --> 00:05:36,367
You know, they buy up
a bunch of property for cheap,
148
00:05:36,368 --> 00:05:38,802
and then they build
high-end apartment complexes
149
00:05:38,803 --> 00:05:40,704
and restaurants and stores,
150
00:05:40,705 --> 00:05:42,706
and that attracts
wealthy new residents,
151
00:05:42,707 --> 00:05:45,142
and then that drives property values up
152
00:05:45,143 --> 00:05:46,603
until people are forced out.
153
00:05:46,604 --> 00:05:48,579
Now, I know you're trying
to say something negative,
154
00:05:48,580 --> 00:05:51,515
but everything you saying
so far sounds good to me.
155
00:05:51,516 --> 00:05:52,983
I mean,
156
00:05:52,984 --> 00:05:56,287
you're basically just describing
how to win at Monopoly.
157
00:05:56,288 --> 00:05:57,855
BOBBY: Look here.
158
00:05:57,856 --> 00:06:00,991
Those people you pushing out got
names, like Nekeisha and Bobby.
159
00:06:00,992 --> 00:06:02,293
And those buildings
you're talking about
160
00:06:02,294 --> 00:06:03,627
is like this one right here.
161
00:06:03,628 --> 00:06:04,995
Bobby's got a point.
162
00:06:04,996 --> 00:06:07,798
You and Jerrod are living in
this newly-renovated apartment
163
00:06:07,799 --> 00:06:09,366
just minutes from Nekeisha's.
164
00:06:09,367 --> 00:06:12,036
And just the other day,
you all were going on and on
165
00:06:12,037 --> 00:06:13,871
about the fancy ice cream parlor
166
00:06:13,872 --> 00:06:15,973
that just moved into your neighborhood.
167
00:06:15,974 --> 00:06:18,976
It's actually a Japanese
shaved ice shop.
168
00:06:18,977 --> 00:06:21,878
You're not helping your case, Maxine.
169
00:06:23,147 --> 00:06:25,849
It sounds to me like the two
of you are the gentrifiers.
170
00:06:25,850 --> 00:06:27,117
What? No, no.
171
00:06:27,118 --> 00:06:28,786
Jerrod and I are not those people.
172
00:06:28,787 --> 00:06:30,521
Well, of course we are, Maxine.
173
00:06:30,522 --> 00:06:32,089
I mean, think about it.
174
00:06:32,090 --> 00:06:34,758
Our street's shut down every
Sunday for a farmer's market.
175
00:06:34,759 --> 00:06:37,227
You know your spin class
instructor by name.
176
00:06:37,228 --> 00:06:39,292
Sometimes we take jogs
around the neighborhood
177
00:06:39,293 --> 00:06:41,131
just to appreciate all
the murals around here.
178
00:06:41,132 --> 00:06:42,933
You know, a mural on the
side of a warehouse
179
00:06:42,934 --> 00:06:45,102
is the official flag of gentrification.
180
00:06:45,103 --> 00:06:47,404
Yeah, but I have a social conscience.
181
00:06:47,405 --> 00:06:49,306
I mean, I support local business.
182
00:06:49,307 --> 00:06:51,542
I give my leftovers to homeless people,
183
00:06:51,543 --> 00:06:55,279
even if I know I'm
gonna want them later.
184
00:06:55,280 --> 00:06:57,047
Well, a lot of those
people are friends of mine
185
00:06:57,048 --> 00:06:59,883
that's being pushed out for you
and your farmer's markets.
186
00:06:59,884 --> 00:07:03,287
How come everything around
here got avocado in it now?
187
00:07:03,288 --> 00:07:05,889
Bobby, please.
188
00:07:05,890 --> 00:07:08,058
Quit acting like this
neighborhood used to be amazing.
189
00:07:08,059 --> 00:07:09,960
I mean, when you first moved in,
190
00:07:09,961 --> 00:07:11,395
you were afraid to go out at night.
191
00:07:11,396 --> 00:07:14,031
I mean, buildings were falling
apart, drugs were everywhere.
192
00:07:14,032 --> 00:07:15,633
If anything, I'd say people like me
193
00:07:15,634 --> 00:07:17,267
made this neighborhood better.
194
00:07:17,268 --> 00:07:18,268
How?
195
00:07:18,269 --> 00:07:20,170
By kicking people like me out of it?
196
00:07:20,171 --> 00:07:22,139
You sound real arrogant right now, man.
197
00:07:22,140 --> 00:07:23,707
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Okay, you guys, come on.
198
00:07:23,708 --> 00:07:26,377
- I mean, this is complicated.
- No, no, it's simple, Maxine.
199
00:07:26,378 --> 00:07:27,978
Jerrod gentrified me and Nekeisha
200
00:07:27,979 --> 00:07:30,113
out our own neighborhood.
201
00:07:31,382 --> 00:07:33,350
And now I got to move
back in with Mom and Dad.
202
00:07:33,351 --> 00:07:35,019
You're blaming me for this, Bobby?
203
00:07:35,020 --> 00:07:36,687
You were living with Mom
and Dad this morning.
204
00:07:36,688 --> 00:07:38,888
It's really not that
big of a move, man.
205
00:07:40,357 --> 00:07:43,993
I can't believe you gentrified
a member of your own family.
206
00:07:45,062 --> 00:07:46,830
You two are brothers!
207
00:07:46,831 --> 00:07:48,132
Now, listen.
208
00:07:48,133 --> 00:07:50,267
I always did get a Cain and Abel vibe
209
00:07:50,268 --> 00:07:52,202
from you two boys.
210
00:07:52,203 --> 00:07:54,471
But I was never sure
which one was Cain.
211
00:07:54,472 --> 00:07:56,173
But now it's obvious.
212
00:07:56,174 --> 00:07:57,708
Bobby, watch your back,
213
00:07:57,709 --> 00:08:01,679
because Cain was the skinny
one in the Bible, too.
214
00:08:01,680 --> 00:08:04,048
Ma, you have no idea
what Cain looked like;
215
00:08:04,049 --> 00:08:06,115
he was literally the
third person on Earth.
216
00:08:07,017 --> 00:08:08,851
I can make a guesstimate.
217
00:08:10,688 --> 00:08:11,771
I don't know why
218
00:08:11,772 --> 00:08:13,924
I'm the one that has to
defend themselves here.
219
00:08:13,925 --> 00:08:15,585
Aren't you supposed to
be proud of the son
220
00:08:15,586 --> 00:08:17,790
who has a nice place to live,
who has a good job
221
00:08:17,791 --> 00:08:19,163
and a hot girlfriend to come home to?
222
00:08:19,164 --> 00:08:20,364
I also realize you're smart,
223
00:08:20,365 --> 00:08:23,333
but I'm making a point here, Maxine.
224
00:08:23,334 --> 00:08:26,737
Okay, wait. So I'm the loser
son they should be ashamed of?
225
00:08:26,738 --> 00:08:30,039
Wait a minute, you calling me
the Jeb Bush of this family?
226
00:08:30,908 --> 00:08:33,143
No, Jeb Bush was a governor, Bobby.
227
00:08:33,144 --> 00:08:34,712
You got fired from Arby's.
228
00:08:34,713 --> 00:08:37,414
That was a conspiracy.
229
00:08:37,415 --> 00:08:40,117
I saw a lot of things
I wasn't supposed to see.
230
00:08:40,118 --> 00:08:42,152
Look at you. You're always
making excuses, man.
231
00:08:42,153 --> 00:08:43,520
Excuses?
232
00:08:43,521 --> 00:08:45,923
Oh, you mean like, uh, lack
of jobs, lack of opportunity,
233
00:08:45,924 --> 00:08:47,357
a system that's set up
234
00:08:47,358 --> 00:08:48,358
to keep us down?
235
00:08:48,359 --> 00:08:49,760
Those are real.
236
00:08:49,761 --> 00:08:50,961
You used to know that.
237
00:08:50,962 --> 00:08:52,896
But I guess you forgot
where you came from.
238
00:08:52,897 --> 00:08:54,932
How in the hell could I
forget where I came from
239
00:08:54,933 --> 00:08:57,668
when everybody I grew up with
is in my apartment right now?
240
00:08:57,669 --> 00:08:58,802
Bobby,
241
00:08:58,803 --> 00:09:00,738
people get knocked down all the time,
242
00:09:00,739 --> 00:09:02,840
but they get back up and
they dust themselves off.
243
00:09:02,841 --> 00:09:04,108
But no, not you.
244
00:09:04,109 --> 00:09:05,476
You just lie there on the ground
245
00:09:05,477 --> 00:09:06,944
and complain about how bumpy it is.
246
00:09:06,945 --> 00:09:08,912
Wow.
247
00:09:08,913 --> 00:09:11,148
That's what you really think of me?
248
00:09:11,149 --> 00:09:12,516
You know something, man?
249
00:09:12,517 --> 00:09:14,984
Let me get out of here, man,
go lay on the lumpy ground.
250
00:09:16,653 --> 00:09:19,189
Jerrod, you apologize right now.
251
00:09:19,190 --> 00:09:21,958
Before he actually go out there
and lay down on the ground!
252
00:09:23,927 --> 00:09:27,931
I'm not going to apologize
because I didn't do anything.
253
00:09:27,932 --> 00:09:31,034
It's hard to get any rest
with all this arguing going on.
254
00:09:31,035 --> 00:09:32,202
But I guess it's for the best,
255
00:09:32,203 --> 00:09:33,871
'cause I got to find
a place to stay tonight.
256
00:09:33,872 --> 00:09:34,872
You can stay here.
257
00:09:34,873 --> 00:09:36,673
Maxine, what are you doing?
258
00:09:36,674 --> 00:09:39,877
Well, look, I need to help her, Jerrod.
259
00:09:39,878 --> 00:09:42,980
Last week, I had shaved ice
with my spin instructor.
260
00:09:42,981 --> 00:09:44,780
I'm in too deep.
261
00:09:46,517 --> 00:09:48,986
Nekeisha, you are welcome to
stay here as long as you need,
262
00:09:48,987 --> 00:09:50,154
until you figure things out.
263
00:09:50,155 --> 00:09:52,389
Seriously? That is so nice of you.
264
00:09:52,390 --> 00:09:54,291
Uh, but just a heads-up.
265
00:09:54,292 --> 00:09:56,727
I like to start my morning
off with a hit of weed,
266
00:09:56,728 --> 00:09:59,396
so how sensitive are
your smoke detectors?
267
00:09:59,397 --> 00:10:00,864
Very.
268
00:10:00,865 --> 00:10:03,399
Cool. I'll take the batteries
out before I smoke.
269
00:10:09,598 --> 00:10:11,559
What are you doing up so early?
270
00:10:11,560 --> 00:10:12,377
Couldn't sleep.
271
00:10:12,378 --> 00:10:13,818
I was up all night texting Bobby,
272
00:10:13,819 --> 00:10:14,988
but he won't text me back.
273
00:10:15,321 --> 00:10:17,420
Well, maybe because it was
the middle of the night
274
00:10:17,421 --> 00:10:18,688
and he hasn't gotten them yet.
275
00:10:18,689 --> 00:10:19,922
Oh, no, he got them.
276
00:10:19,923 --> 00:10:21,424
I keep seeing those three dots,
277
00:10:21,425 --> 00:10:23,693
like he's gonna say something,
but then he doesn't.
278
00:10:23,694 --> 00:10:25,428
And it happened, like, ten times.
279
00:10:25,429 --> 00:10:27,230
And look.
280
00:10:27,231 --> 00:10:29,098
He posted this on Instagram.
281
00:10:29,099 --> 00:10:31,501
Aw, he looks so sad.
282
00:10:31,502 --> 00:10:33,169
"That moment you realize
283
00:10:33,170 --> 00:10:35,872
when you're all alone in this world."
284
00:10:35,873 --> 00:10:38,307
He needs to stop acting like a victim.
285
00:10:38,308 --> 00:10:40,143
He needs to stop letting
life happen to him
286
00:10:40,144 --> 00:10:41,244
and start living it.
287
00:10:41,245 --> 00:10:42,530
You know, I just want him to know
288
00:10:42,531 --> 00:10:43,743
that I think he could do anything
289
00:10:43,744 --> 00:10:45,047
if he just believed in himself.
290
00:10:45,048 --> 00:10:46,749
But why didn't you just tell him that?
291
00:10:46,750 --> 00:10:47,817
(snorts)
292
00:10:47,818 --> 00:10:50,653
Say something nice to my brother?
293
00:10:50,654 --> 00:10:52,588
You're such an only child, Maxine.
294
00:10:52,589 --> 00:10:53,723
(thump)
295
00:10:53,724 --> 00:10:54,791
NEKEISHA: My bad!
296
00:10:54,792 --> 00:10:57,059
Ooh, I hope that didn't wake you up!
297
00:10:57,060 --> 00:10:58,027
(sighs)
298
00:10:58,028 --> 00:10:59,395
I promise you,
299
00:10:59,396 --> 00:11:01,898
letting Nekeisha stay here
is gonna get old really soon.
300
00:11:01,899 --> 00:11:03,733
You're better off just
feeling guilty, Maxine.
301
00:11:03,734 --> 00:11:05,435
No, it's too much.
302
00:11:05,436 --> 00:11:07,804
Last night, I dreamt that
some poor mother and her kids
303
00:11:07,805 --> 00:11:10,072
got kicked out of this place
just so we could move in.
304
00:11:10,073 --> 00:11:11,374
Oh, we got nothing to worry about.
305
00:11:11,375 --> 00:11:13,276
No families lived in this
place before we moved in.
306
00:11:13,277 --> 00:11:14,610
- Thank God.
- Yeah.
307
00:11:14,611 --> 00:11:15,788
This building used to be a nursing home
308
00:11:15,789 --> 00:11:17,067
for people on Medicaid.
309
00:11:18,281 --> 00:11:19,819
Yeah, if those people had families,
310
00:11:19,820 --> 00:11:21,828
they wouldn't have been stuck here.
311
00:11:21,829 --> 00:11:23,019
(Nekeisha and woman laughing)
312
00:11:23,020 --> 00:11:24,620
WOMAN: Girl!
313
00:11:24,621 --> 00:11:27,063
Does she have people over
this early in the morning?
314
00:11:27,064 --> 00:11:28,105
Really?
315
00:11:28,106 --> 00:11:30,693
You're surprised Nekeisha
isn't an amazing houseguest?
316
00:11:30,694 --> 00:11:31,961
Shh.
317
00:11:31,962 --> 00:11:33,563
Girl, don't tell me you
feeling the pressure
318
00:11:33,564 --> 00:11:35,198
from the establishment
to vote your gender.
319
00:11:35,199 --> 00:11:37,547
Look, in theory, my policies do align
320
00:11:37,548 --> 00:11:39,168
with the Democratic Socialist Party.
321
00:11:39,169 --> 00:11:42,438
- Mm-hmm.
- And I do want to "Feel the Bern."
322
00:11:42,439 --> 00:11:44,907
But I have to hold it
down for my ladies.
323
00:11:44,908 --> 00:11:47,743
What is this, The Tavis Smiley Show?
324
00:11:47,744 --> 00:11:49,745
Who are you?
325
00:11:49,746 --> 00:11:52,014
Who am I? I'm the person
who owns this place.
326
00:11:52,015 --> 00:11:53,316
Oh, okay.
327
00:11:53,317 --> 00:11:55,818
Well, then, I'll make sure
to get the grand tour.
328
00:11:55,819 --> 00:11:59,054
Is it just this room and another
little room in the back? Done.
329
00:12:00,890 --> 00:12:03,226
Did I do something to you?
330
00:12:03,227 --> 00:12:04,660
NEKEISHA: Vanessa,
331
00:12:04,661 --> 00:12:06,429
that's Jerrod and Maxine.
332
00:12:06,430 --> 00:12:08,464
Maxine, Jerrod,
this is my girl Vanessa.
333
00:12:08,465 --> 00:12:09,398
Hi.
334
00:12:09,399 --> 00:12:10,833
So what are you guys doing?
335
00:12:10,834 --> 00:12:12,335
Braiding hair.
336
00:12:12,336 --> 00:12:13,636
Huh.
337
00:12:13,637 --> 00:12:15,003
Cool, cool.
338
00:12:18,241 --> 00:12:20,076
Um, about how long is that gonna take?
339
00:12:20,077 --> 00:12:22,777
Shouldn't be more than six hours or so.
340
00:12:23,946 --> 00:12:26,349
Cool, cool.
341
00:12:26,350 --> 00:12:27,984
Um, you know what, Maxine?
342
00:12:27,985 --> 00:12:29,784
I'm just gonna go back to bed.
343
00:12:31,000 --> 00:12:37,074
Advertise your product or brand here
contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today
344
00:12:38,227 --> 00:12:39,762
Um...
345
00:12:39,763 --> 00:12:41,864
does anybody else see a
little girl standing here,
346
00:12:41,865 --> 00:12:43,599
or is it just me?
347
00:12:43,600 --> 00:12:45,234
That's Susie.
348
00:12:45,235 --> 00:12:46,502
Okay, well...
349
00:12:46,503 --> 00:12:48,170
Hey, little Susie.
350
00:12:48,171 --> 00:12:49,272
How are you feeling?
351
00:12:49,273 --> 00:12:50,373
VANESSA: She don't talk.
352
00:12:50,374 --> 00:12:52,340
Not since the fire.
353
00:12:55,411 --> 00:12:57,213
Uh...
354
00:12:57,214 --> 00:12:58,880
did you start the fire?
355
00:13:07,023 --> 00:13:10,326
Well, tell her to stop staring at me.
356
00:13:10,327 --> 00:13:13,329
Jerrod, one of the rules
while you living with me
357
00:13:13,330 --> 00:13:16,165
is that you have to respect my guests,
358
00:13:16,166 --> 00:13:18,868
'cause they are an
extension of Nekeisha.
359
00:13:18,869 --> 00:13:21,737
Oh, my God, why is there a pile
of hair on my cutting board?
360
00:13:21,738 --> 00:13:25,407
Oh, that is also an
extension of Nekeisha.
361
00:13:29,412 --> 00:13:30,880
Is Bobby here?
362
00:13:30,881 --> 00:13:32,481
Well, if it isn't Cain
363
00:13:32,482 --> 00:13:34,549
checking on his dead brother Abel.
364
00:13:36,218 --> 00:13:39,121
Did you see your brother's Instagram?
365
00:13:39,122 --> 00:13:41,824
It's dark, Jerrod.
366
00:13:41,825 --> 00:13:43,559
Yeah, he's being very dramatic.
367
00:13:43,560 --> 00:13:45,595
I just wanted to tell him
that he could do anything
368
00:13:45,596 --> 00:13:47,196
if he just put his mind to it.
369
00:13:47,197 --> 00:13:48,831
Well, why didn't you just say that?
370
00:13:48,832 --> 00:13:49,799
I did say that.
371
00:13:49,800 --> 00:13:50,660
Just more aggressive,
372
00:13:50,661 --> 00:13:52,168
'cause I was trying to prove a point.
373
00:13:52,169 --> 00:13:53,536
And, you know, the way
you two coddle him
374
00:13:53,537 --> 00:13:54,470
may not be helping.
375
00:13:54,471 --> 00:13:55,471
Lower your voice.
376
00:13:55,472 --> 00:13:57,839
You know, Bobby's still sleeping.
377
00:13:58,774 --> 00:14:00,276
It's 11:30, Ma.
378
00:14:00,277 --> 00:14:02,578
You ever think that maybe
removing his safety net
379
00:14:02,579 --> 00:14:04,046
may inspire him to do more?
380
00:14:04,047 --> 00:14:06,082
Well, everybody doesn't
respond to tough love.
381
00:14:06,083 --> 00:14:08,084
I yell at you, you
rise to the occasion.
382
00:14:08,085 --> 00:14:11,253
I yell at Bobby, he
dies to the occasion.
383
00:14:11,254 --> 00:14:13,656
That's not your first time
saying that, is it, Dad?
384
00:14:13,657 --> 00:14:15,825
Well, I been tossing it around.
385
00:14:15,826 --> 00:14:18,661
You know, when you were little
386
00:14:18,662 --> 00:14:20,296
and I tried to coddle you,
387
00:14:20,297 --> 00:14:23,165
you said, "Affection is for the weak."
388
00:14:23,166 --> 00:14:26,167
That was your first complete sentence.
389
00:14:27,703 --> 00:14:29,438
Just because Bobby
doesn't have your strength,
390
00:14:29,439 --> 00:14:31,807
that doesn't mean he doesn't
have any strengths at all.
391
00:14:31,808 --> 00:14:33,275
He keeps his room tidy.
392
00:14:33,276 --> 00:14:35,411
He folds up all of his
clothes very neatly.
393
00:14:35,412 --> 00:14:37,913
I told him if he keeps working hard,
394
00:14:37,914 --> 00:14:40,381
he can get a job at Old Navy.
395
00:14:42,685 --> 00:14:44,754
He was dealt a bad hand in life.
396
00:14:44,755 --> 00:14:46,188
How were we dealt different hands?
397
00:14:46,189 --> 00:14:47,990
His room was, like,
ten feet across from mine.
398
00:14:47,991 --> 00:14:49,691
But your room had a heating vent.
399
00:14:51,427 --> 00:14:54,597
And I stopped smoking
right before you were born.
400
00:14:54,598 --> 00:14:58,100
That makes a difference, I hear.
401
00:14:58,101 --> 00:14:59,769
Have you thought about it like this?
402
00:14:59,770 --> 00:15:01,270
What if you removed his crutch?
403
00:15:01,271 --> 00:15:03,673
Like, what would happen if you
kicked Bobby out of the house?
404
00:15:03,674 --> 00:15:05,642
Kick me out?
405
00:15:06,109 --> 00:15:07,843
Jerrod, you already got me
kicked out of one neighborhood.
406
00:15:07,844 --> 00:15:09,612
Now you're trying to get me
kicked out another one?
407
00:15:09,613 --> 00:15:11,781
- Bobby?
- Bobby?
408
00:15:11,782 --> 00:15:13,115
JOE: Bobby? Bobby!
409
00:15:13,116 --> 00:15:14,617
Man, save it! You're not
better than me, Jerrod.
410
00:15:14,618 --> 00:15:16,085
I never said I was, man.
411
00:15:16,086 --> 00:15:17,853
Look, no one needs to worry
about Bobby Carmichael,
412
00:15:17,854 --> 00:15:19,922
'cause Bobby Carmichael
about to set the world on fire.
413
00:15:19,923 --> 00:15:21,656
But no thanks to any of you.
414
00:15:24,060 --> 00:15:25,795
Well, except Mom and Dad.
415
00:15:25,796 --> 00:15:26,962
Go get 'em, son!
416
00:15:26,963 --> 00:15:29,799
- We love you!
- (door closes)
417
00:15:29,800 --> 00:15:31,933
There's bees outside.
I got to leave out the back.
418
00:15:34,637 --> 00:15:38,074
NEKEISHA: ♪ And I don't
want the world to see me ♪
419
00:15:38,075 --> 00:15:41,544
♪ 'Cause I don't think
that they'd understand ♪
420
00:15:41,545 --> 00:15:44,714
♪ When everything's
made to be broken... ♪
421
00:15:44,715 --> 00:15:46,916
Okay, this has gone on long enough.
422
00:15:46,917 --> 00:15:48,784
Okay, good. I'm gonna
go kick Nekeisha out.
423
00:15:48,785 --> 00:15:50,419
No, no, no, Jerrod. Let me handle this.
424
00:15:50,420 --> 00:15:52,822
I want her to know that she can
do more with her life, too,
425
00:15:52,823 --> 00:15:55,624
but I want to present it in
a more inspirational way.
426
00:15:55,625 --> 00:15:57,593
- Oh, inspirational.
- Cool, it'll be fun.
427
00:15:57,594 --> 00:16:00,062
It's like watching
Dangerous Minds, but look.
428
00:16:00,063 --> 00:16:01,030
Here's a tip.
429
00:16:01,031 --> 00:16:02,331
If she starts pulling your hair,
430
00:16:02,332 --> 00:16:04,499
just go limp until it's all over.
431
00:16:05,868 --> 00:16:07,670
Damn, I like the acoustics in there.
432
00:16:07,671 --> 00:16:09,939
Everything about this
apartment is perfect.
433
00:16:09,940 --> 00:16:12,708
It used to be.
434
00:16:12,709 --> 00:16:15,678
So, have you started looking
for a new place to live yet?
435
00:16:15,679 --> 00:16:17,713
I searched on Craigslist,
but everything in the area
436
00:16:17,714 --> 00:16:19,148
is just out of my price range.
437
00:16:19,149 --> 00:16:21,717
Have you been on there lately?
It got creepy.
438
00:16:21,718 --> 00:16:24,386
It's nothing but guys
looking to bang other guys
439
00:16:24,387 --> 00:16:27,089
while their wives are at work.
440
00:16:27,090 --> 00:16:29,658
You know, if you want a
nice place of your own,
441
00:16:29,659 --> 00:16:32,228
you can have one; you
just need to have a plan.
442
00:16:32,229 --> 00:16:34,163
Okay, well, what's my plan?
443
00:16:34,164 --> 00:16:37,433
Well, that's the part that you
are supposed to figure out.
444
00:16:37,434 --> 00:16:39,568
Um, what...
445
00:16:39,569 --> 00:16:41,337
What do you want to do in life?
446
00:16:41,338 --> 00:16:42,904
Live in an apartment.
447
00:16:44,907 --> 00:16:47,910
Uh, okay, more specifically,
what are you good at?
448
00:16:47,911 --> 00:16:51,447
I can tell when a conversation
is organically over.
449
00:16:51,448 --> 00:16:52,915
How you feeling about this one?
450
00:16:52,916 --> 00:16:55,584
It's close.
451
00:16:55,585 --> 00:16:57,620
Look, you are really
great at doing hair.
452
00:16:57,621 --> 00:16:58,988
That's a great career.
453
00:16:58,989 --> 00:17:00,723
Oh, no, see, Vanessa
doesn't pay me for that.
454
00:17:00,724 --> 00:17:02,558
I just hooked her up
'cause she's my girl.
455
00:17:02,559 --> 00:17:04,293
But you know you can
get good money for that.
456
00:17:04,294 --> 00:17:05,961
All you have to do is take
a cosmetology course,
457
00:17:05,962 --> 00:17:07,062
and you get your license.
458
00:17:07,063 --> 00:17:08,230
And how much does that cost?
459
00:17:08,231 --> 00:17:09,198
Uh, I don't know.
460
00:17:09,199 --> 00:17:10,332
Like, a few thousand dollars.
461
00:17:10,333 --> 00:17:11,467
"A few thousand dollars"?
462
00:17:11,468 --> 00:17:12,968
I thought I was trying to make money.
463
00:17:12,969 --> 00:17:15,938
That sounds counterintuitive.
464
00:17:15,939 --> 00:17:17,873
Well, you can take out a loan.
465
00:17:17,874 --> 00:17:20,409
You know, you think of it as
an investment in yourself.
466
00:17:20,410 --> 00:17:21,977
So, Maxine, you want me to borrow money
467
00:17:21,978 --> 00:17:24,613
to pay somebody to teach me
what I'm already good at,
468
00:17:24,614 --> 00:17:27,749
so I can find a job to pay back
the money with interest?
469
00:17:30,119 --> 00:17:33,154
You've got a week on our
couch, and then you're out.
470
00:17:34,919 --> 00:17:36,425
I got us an apartment!
471
00:17:36,426 --> 00:17:37,660
- Ooh, you did?
- Thank God!
472
00:17:37,661 --> 00:17:39,158
Because Maxine is trying to get me
473
00:17:39,159 --> 00:17:42,444
to start meeting my potential,
and it sounded exhausting.
474
00:17:43,666 --> 00:17:45,267
That's great, Bobby. Where?
475
00:17:45,268 --> 00:17:46,468
Same place we was at before.
476
00:17:46,469 --> 00:17:47,703
You got our apartment back?
477
00:17:47,704 --> 00:17:49,472
I marched back into
that landlord's office
478
00:17:49,473 --> 00:17:51,169
and accused him of being a slumlord,
479
00:17:51,170 --> 00:17:53,076
and I said he was doing
discriminatory practices.
480
00:17:53,077 --> 00:17:55,110
And then I threatened to take
it to the housing authority.
481
00:17:55,111 --> 00:17:57,313
- And that worked?
- No, it did not.
482
00:17:57,314 --> 00:18:00,049
But as I was leaving, I saw some
police tape on the door, right?
483
00:18:00,050 --> 00:18:01,617
And I'm like, "Uh, what
happened in there?"
484
00:18:01,618 --> 00:18:03,018
He was like, "A murder."
485
00:18:03,019 --> 00:18:04,920
I said, "What? You'll never be
able to rent that place out.
486
00:18:04,921 --> 00:18:06,355
I'll take it."
487
00:18:06,356 --> 00:18:09,024
So, what, you got cheaper rent
because there was a murder?
488
00:18:09,025 --> 00:18:11,060
Even better, it's free.
489
00:18:11,061 --> 00:18:12,447
Look, I was willing
490
00:18:12,448 --> 00:18:14,230
to clean up the aftermath,
which come to find out
491
00:18:14,231 --> 00:18:15,431
is the job of the building super.
492
00:18:15,432 --> 00:18:16,732
The landlord was like, "Man, I'm tired
493
00:18:16,733 --> 00:18:17,967
of cleaning up crime scenes."
494
00:18:17,968 --> 00:18:20,101
I was like, (scoffs) "Not me."
495
00:18:23,172 --> 00:18:25,808
So now I got a job.
496
00:18:25,809 --> 00:18:29,410
Dang, Bobby, you living
the American dream.
497
00:18:30,913 --> 00:18:33,482
Nah, baby, we both living the dream.
498
00:18:33,483 --> 00:18:36,552
See, Jerrod, it took you
years to get a nice place,
499
00:18:36,553 --> 00:18:39,021
a good job and a girl to come home to.
500
00:18:39,022 --> 00:18:42,157
(chuckles) Took me all of 20 minutes.
501
00:18:42,158 --> 00:18:44,026
That's right.
502
00:18:44,027 --> 00:18:45,995
Bobby's on the rise,
and I'm coming for you.
503
00:18:45,996 --> 00:18:47,463
(chuckles) And soon as you know it,
504
00:18:47,464 --> 00:18:50,431
I'm gonna be gentrifying
your ass up out of here!
505
00:18:52,001 --> 00:18:54,036
Now, Nekeisha, let's storm out.
506
00:18:54,037 --> 00:18:57,271
Oh, storming out is the only way
I know how to leave a room.
507
00:19:04,713 --> 00:19:07,049
Well, that was a little aggressive.
508
00:19:07,050 --> 00:19:08,284
No, are you kidding me?
509
00:19:08,285 --> 00:19:09,979
I've actually never been
more proud of him.
510
00:19:09,980 --> 00:19:11,787
Actually I've never
been more proud of me.
511
00:19:11,788 --> 00:19:13,355
I hurt my brother's feelings so bad,
512
00:19:13,356 --> 00:19:15,491
it inspired him to
make his life better.
513
00:19:15,492 --> 00:19:16,958
I'm a hero.
514
00:19:17,960 --> 00:19:20,762
Hey, you want to go
make love to a hero?
515
00:19:25,942 --> 00:19:27,458
You're messing my torque up.
516
00:19:27,459 --> 00:19:29,760
Bobby, there's no torque involved;
we're lifting a couch.
517
00:19:29,761 --> 00:19:31,138
You're throwing off my equilibrium.
518
00:19:31,139 --> 00:19:33,130
Okay, now you're just
using physics words.
519
00:19:33,131 --> 00:19:35,466
Damn, y'all wouldn't last
a second in the workforce.
520
00:19:35,467 --> 00:19:37,359
I mean, the real workforce.
521
00:19:37,360 --> 00:19:39,494
Not none of that white
collar stuff you do.
522
00:19:39,495 --> 00:19:42,063
I like to live by the motto
"Work smarter, not harder."
523
00:19:42,064 --> 00:19:43,331
(laughing)
524
00:19:45,968 --> 00:19:47,802
Well, good luck with that.
525
00:19:47,803 --> 00:19:50,272
We gonna see how that
serves you once they invade.
526
00:19:50,273 --> 00:19:52,307
What-what are you talking about?
Once who invades?
527
00:19:52,308 --> 00:19:53,608
Oh, you'll see.
528
00:19:53,609 --> 00:19:55,610
You'll see once they arrive.
529
00:19:55,611 --> 00:19:57,612
But by then, it's gonna be too late.
530
00:19:57,613 --> 00:19:58,713
(laughing)
531
00:19:58,714 --> 00:20:00,448
You know, he keeps
saying stuff like that,
532
00:20:00,449 --> 00:20:02,250
and I'm starting to think
he knows something.
533
00:20:02,251 --> 00:20:04,352
Well, look at this place.
534
00:20:04,353 --> 00:20:06,354
Just look at it.
535
00:20:06,355 --> 00:20:08,356
Look at this!
536
00:20:08,357 --> 00:20:10,458
Will you just look?
537
00:20:12,428 --> 00:20:15,397
I'm sorry, this looks just like
the last place y'all lived in.
538
00:20:15,398 --> 00:20:16,665
Nasty.
539
00:20:16,666 --> 00:20:18,967
Just nasty!
540
00:20:18,968 --> 00:20:20,835
Are these bullet holes?
541
00:20:20,836 --> 00:20:22,470
If I put a frame around it,
542
00:20:22,471 --> 00:20:24,172
actually it'll be a modern art piece
543
00:20:24,173 --> 00:20:27,375
with a powerful message about Ferguson.
544
00:20:27,376 --> 00:20:29,277
(phone rings)
545
00:20:30,646 --> 00:20:33,148
What's up?
546
00:20:33,149 --> 00:20:35,016
Yep, I'm the new super.
547
00:20:36,519 --> 00:20:38,987
Well, can you describe the rat?
548
00:20:38,988 --> 00:20:41,056
Okay, how big is it?
549
00:20:41,057 --> 00:20:43,792
Like a golf-ball big
or a basketball big?
550
00:20:43,793 --> 00:20:45,727
Ooh.
551
00:20:45,728 --> 00:20:47,295
You got a bucket and some string?
552
00:20:47,296 --> 00:20:48,897
Perfect, I'll be right up.
553
00:20:48,898 --> 00:20:51,601
Subtitle sync and corrections by
awaqeded for www.addic7ed.com.
553
00:20:52,305 --> 00:20:58,173
Craving big poker? Feast your eyes on Venom.
$5 million GTD. AmericasCardroom.com