1 00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:12,074 Everyone is intimidated by a shark. Become a Card Shark AMERICASCARDROOM.COM 2 00:00:34,535 --> 00:00:36,453 I'm telling you, everything means something. 3 00:00:36,620 --> 00:00:38,439 No, everything does not mean something, okay? 4 00:00:38,539 --> 00:00:40,541 Sometimes a movie is just a movie. 5 00:00:40,791 --> 00:00:44,461 Sometimes a song is just a song, sometimes a joke is just a joke. 6 00:00:44,711 --> 00:00:46,697 - Remember those, jokes? - Yeah, I remember 'em. 7 00:00:46,797 --> 00:00:48,741 Okay. So lighten up. We have a black President now. 8 00:00:48,841 --> 00:00:49,950 - Be excited. - Half black. 9 00:00:50,050 --> 00:00:51,869 - A little bit. Just a little excited. - Half black! Half black! 10 00:00:51,969 --> 00:00:53,662 And whenever something goes well in the country, 11 00:00:53,762 --> 00:00:56,123 the white people go, "The President's doing such a great job." 12 00:00:56,223 --> 00:00:57,583 And then whenever there's a problem, it's like, 13 00:00:57,683 --> 00:00:59,376 "That nigga's ruining everything!" 14 00:00:59,476 --> 00:01:01,795 Nope. We are going to have a woman president next 15 00:01:01,895 --> 00:01:04,047 - and she is going to be Latina. - Yeah? Okay. 16 00:01:04,147 --> 00:01:05,691 And she might even be gay. 17 00:01:05,858 --> 00:01:07,968 - And we'll have an Asian president. - A balanced budget. 18 00:01:08,068 --> 00:01:11,013 And we will have another handicapped president. 19 00:01:11,113 --> 00:01:12,848 Okay, hold on. We're not gonna have a handicapped president. 20 00:01:12,948 --> 00:01:14,224 Yes. Yes, we will. We already had one. 21 00:01:14,324 --> 00:01:15,434 - We already had one. - No, no. I'm talking about 22 00:01:15,534 --> 00:01:16,935 out-the-closet handicapped president. 23 00:01:17,035 --> 00:01:18,520 He was out of the closet. What is wrong... 24 00:01:18,620 --> 00:01:20,022 - Okay. That... - Hey, hey. Don't get me wrong. 25 00:01:20,122 --> 00:01:21,231 People knew that he was handicapped. 26 00:01:21,331 --> 00:01:22,483 No, I got nothing against the handicapped, 27 00:01:22,583 --> 00:01:24,860 but everybody's not as liberal as me, okay? 28 00:01:24,960 --> 00:01:25,986 The media wasn't better then. 29 00:01:26,086 --> 00:01:28,405 I mean, you "run" for president, you don't "roll" for president. 30 00:01:28,505 --> 00:01:30,741 Like, you'll "run" a campaign, you don't "roll" a campaign. 31 00:01:30,841 --> 00:01:32,076 - You are horrible. - I'm not horrible. 32 00:01:32,176 --> 00:01:33,827 That is sick. What is wrong with you? 33 00:01:33,927 --> 00:01:34,912 - I'm sick? - Yes. 34 00:01:35,012 --> 00:01:37,247 I'm the one voting for the Mexican lesbian handicapped president. 35 00:01:37,347 --> 00:01:39,917 Oh, my God. You know what? People are more accepting now. 36 00:01:40,017 --> 00:01:43,337 And thank God for that because it is literally rough for women, okay? 37 00:01:43,437 --> 00:01:44,463 Yeah. 38 00:01:44,563 --> 00:01:46,507 But I am hopeful, because people are changing, okay? 39 00:01:46,607 --> 00:01:47,716 - Really? - Things are changing. 40 00:01:47,816 --> 00:01:49,093 You need to wake up and smell the progress. 41 00:01:49,193 --> 00:01:50,177 No, no, no, no. You need to wake up, okay? 42 00:01:50,277 --> 00:01:51,303 Wake up and smell the progress. 43 00:01:51,403 --> 00:01:52,471 - Nothing's changed. - Yes! 44 00:01:52,571 --> 00:01:53,555 Some things never change. 45 00:01:53,655 --> 00:01:54,723 - Thank God things change! - Hey, look at this. 46 00:01:54,823 --> 00:01:57,601 Black man trying to get a cab in New York City. 47 00:01:57,701 --> 00:01:59,103 - Watch this bullshit. - What's up, Hammy! 48 00:01:59,203 --> 00:02:00,771 Black man trying to get a cab. 49 00:02:00,871 --> 00:02:03,040 Look at this! Taxi, taxi! 50 00:02:03,415 --> 00:02:04,917 Taxi, taxi! Yeah. 51 00:02:09,880 --> 00:02:12,491 Thank you for joining me at this special edition of my program 52 00:02:12,591 --> 00:02:14,259 at this great university. 53 00:02:17,846 --> 00:02:19,957 In 2005, Time magazine 54 00:02:20,057 --> 00:02:23,894 voted today's guest "The Funniest Man in America." 55 00:02:24,102 --> 00:02:27,840 By 2010, the former stand-up had hit it big 56 00:02:27,940 --> 00:02:34,488 with a string of blockbuster movies, including Hammy the Bear 1, 2 and 3. 57 00:02:37,157 --> 00:02:39,226 All right, Sanchez, here's the plan. 58 00:02:39,326 --> 00:02:41,478 I need you to get that box of guns across the street. 59 00:02:41,578 --> 00:02:42,913 We don't got time for that. 60 00:02:43,539 --> 00:02:48,252 Sanchez, you got plenty of time. You got Hammy Time! Now go! 61 00:02:49,878 --> 00:02:53,465 It's Hammy Time! It's Hammy Time! It's Hammy Time! 62 00:02:53,757 --> 00:02:54,883 It's Hammy Time! 63 00:02:56,885 --> 00:02:59,429 When you were in school, were you the class clown? 64 00:02:59,888 --> 00:03:01,098 When's the next Hammy movie? 65 00:03:02,808 --> 00:03:07,646 And after some run-ins with the law due to a battle with alcoholism... 66 00:03:07,896 --> 00:03:10,732 I mean, I was at this restaurant the other day, 67 00:03:10,941 --> 00:03:13,610 and I saw this guy drink half a beer. 68 00:03:14,403 --> 00:03:17,281 And I was like, wow, how the hell he do that? 69 00:03:17,781 --> 00:03:19,491 Do you think you're ever gonna go back to stand-up? 70 00:03:22,119 --> 00:03:26,540 I am past stand-up. I've done it. I had fun with it. 71 00:03:26,790 --> 00:03:27,858 Here's the thing. 72 00:03:27,958 --> 00:03:29,751 To me, there's nothing better 73 00:03:30,043 --> 00:03:36,241 than the first day your movie comes out, and sneaking into the back of a theater, 74 00:03:36,341 --> 00:03:39,078 and just watching people enjoy themselves. 75 00:03:39,178 --> 00:03:41,638 Did you lose your taste though for comedy? 76 00:03:42,055 --> 00:03:44,808 I want to make uplifting entertainment. 77 00:03:45,142 --> 00:03:46,602 - I wanna make... - Like Uprize? 78 00:03:46,935 --> 00:03:50,397 Like Uprize. I want to make thought-provoking entertainment. 79 00:03:51,148 --> 00:03:52,508 This weekend is big. 80 00:03:52,608 --> 00:03:55,944 Opening today, you can see him play the Haitian revolutionary 81 00:03:56,195 --> 00:03:59,031 Dutty Boukman in his new movie, Uprize. 82 00:04:03,785 --> 00:04:07,998 And you can also see him getting married to reality star Erica Long 83 00:04:08,498 --> 00:04:09,583 on Bravo. 84 00:04:17,174 --> 00:04:18,509 Hi! 85 00:04:21,178 --> 00:04:22,596 Look who's here. 86 00:04:22,971 --> 00:04:24,640 - Hi, doll. - Hey, beautiful. 87 00:04:26,433 --> 00:04:27,543 Dre, my man. 88 00:04:27,643 --> 00:04:29,711 Hey, would you mind getting in on the other side of the car 89 00:04:29,811 --> 00:04:31,338 and then exiting this side? Please, it's for the show. 90 00:04:31,438 --> 00:04:33,106 Fuck you, Benny. I'm not on your show. 91 00:04:33,273 --> 00:04:35,234 No, you are on the show, you're just not getting paid. 92 00:04:35,609 --> 00:04:36,760 Guys, play nice, please. 93 00:04:36,860 --> 00:04:38,070 I always play nice. 94 00:04:38,695 --> 00:04:39,847 It's not me. 95 00:04:39,947 --> 00:04:42,783 Mr. Groom, baby, we are almost there. 96 00:04:43,283 --> 00:04:45,602 We've got three more days and then we're married. 97 00:04:45,702 --> 00:04:46,745 You happy? 98 00:04:46,912 --> 00:04:50,624 I'm happy. I'm just a little stressed out from this movie. That's all. 99 00:04:50,749 --> 00:04:53,001 Why are you stressed? Baby, you did great work. 100 00:04:53,126 --> 00:04:54,319 - I know. I know. - You murdered that role. 101 00:04:54,419 --> 00:04:55,838 - Thank you. Thank you. - Okay? 102 00:04:56,046 --> 00:04:57,047 Where's my kiss? 103 00:04:57,214 --> 00:04:58,615 Do we have to do this on camera? 104 00:04:58,715 --> 00:05:00,534 Let's just get off camera. Let's go back in the car. 105 00:05:00,634 --> 00:05:02,219 If it's not on camera, it doesn't exist. 106 00:05:05,180 --> 00:05:07,224 Our thanks to Andre Allen! 107 00:05:09,268 --> 00:05:11,270 Hammy! Hammy! 108 00:05:14,356 --> 00:05:17,568 You know, today's one of those days I feel like having a drink. 109 00:05:17,776 --> 00:05:18,969 Not funny. Don't talk like that. 110 00:05:19,069 --> 00:05:20,304 I don't want to hear about you drinking 111 00:05:20,404 --> 00:05:22,431 and I don't feel like getting you out of jail. 112 00:05:22,531 --> 00:05:24,183 Don't worry, no slip-ups. 113 00:05:24,283 --> 00:05:25,476 - Hey. - Thanks. 114 00:05:25,576 --> 00:05:27,853 You know, I can't wait to see the movie play in a theater later! 115 00:05:27,953 --> 00:05:29,396 It's gonna be packed. 116 00:05:29,496 --> 00:05:32,165 It's gonna be something else. I can't wait. 117 00:05:33,542 --> 00:05:34,985 I love me a big girl. 118 00:05:35,085 --> 00:05:36,837 You moving with confidence. 119 00:05:38,338 --> 00:05:39,423 By the way, 120 00:05:39,756 --> 00:05:41,867 Erica wants you to wear a red shirt on the plane, 121 00:05:41,967 --> 00:05:44,369 and when you get off, she will have a camera crew waiting for you. 122 00:05:44,469 --> 00:05:45,929 Camera crew, red shirt. 123 00:05:46,096 --> 00:05:47,998 What, are they scared they're not gonna be able to find me 124 00:05:48,098 --> 00:05:50,501 amongst the sea of niggas getting off of private jets? 125 00:05:50,601 --> 00:05:51,585 I'm not wearing the shirt. 126 00:05:51,685 --> 00:05:54,129 Okay, whatever, man. Let's move on to the next interview. 127 00:05:54,229 --> 00:05:56,940 Next interview? I thought I was done until XM and the junket. 128 00:05:57,107 --> 00:06:00,194 Well, Charles just texted me this one. They need you for a few hours. 129 00:06:01,570 --> 00:06:03,347 A Wyclef movie is hard to sell. 130 00:06:03,447 --> 00:06:06,141 Everybody in the barber shop wants to see you in that bear costume. 131 00:06:06,241 --> 00:06:08,602 They love you in that bear costume. You gotta wear it, baby. 132 00:06:08,702 --> 00:06:09,937 Yeah, but they can't even see my face. 133 00:06:10,037 --> 00:06:12,898 But they feeling you, son. That's who you are! You Hammy! 134 00:06:12,998 --> 00:06:15,192 I told you, I don't feel like doing funny movies anymore. 135 00:06:15,292 --> 00:06:17,294 I don't feel funny. We talked about this. 136 00:06:17,753 --> 00:06:19,630 Save some of that stuff for your Times interview. 137 00:06:19,963 --> 00:06:21,548 Times? Fuck the Times. 138 00:06:21,965 --> 00:06:23,634 You act like you've never had a bad review before. 139 00:06:23,800 --> 00:06:25,969 I could take one, but every one? 140 00:06:26,220 --> 00:06:27,329 "Every one," really? 141 00:06:27,429 --> 00:06:28,972 Come on, man. Look at this shit. 142 00:06:29,473 --> 00:06:34,603 "Andre Allen is the most pathetic character in cinema today. 143 00:06:35,312 --> 00:06:37,464 "If he ever put out another movie, 144 00:06:37,564 --> 00:06:40,592 "I would not see it if it was playing in my glasses." 145 00:06:40,692 --> 00:06:43,195 Why the fuck would somebody say some shit like that? 146 00:06:43,362 --> 00:06:45,097 That's James Nielson. That's what he does. 147 00:06:45,197 --> 00:06:47,282 He's a critic. And he won't show his face. 148 00:06:47,533 --> 00:06:48,892 No, fuck James Nielson. 149 00:06:48,992 --> 00:06:50,327 He's been ripping my shit apart for years. 150 00:06:50,494 --> 00:06:51,662 The next one's a chick. 151 00:06:51,870 --> 00:06:53,689 She just wants to do a profile piece on you. 152 00:06:53,789 --> 00:06:55,207 And I think she's a big fan of yours. 153 00:06:55,374 --> 00:06:56,542 Fuck the Times. 154 00:06:56,708 --> 00:06:58,235 You're gonna do this, okay? 155 00:06:58,335 --> 00:07:00,112 I'm not going to go back and forth with you about this. 156 00:07:00,212 --> 00:07:02,506 We talked about it. It's The New York Times. 157 00:07:02,631 --> 00:07:04,842 Do you hear me? The New York Times! 158 00:07:05,175 --> 00:07:06,285 Let me ask you a question. 159 00:07:06,385 --> 00:07:07,494 When you told me that you wanted to do 160 00:07:07,594 --> 00:07:08,912 that movie Crossbusters, what'd I say to you, Andre? 161 00:07:09,012 --> 00:07:10,038 "Not a good idea." 162 00:07:10,138 --> 00:07:11,248 When you tell me that you wanted to do 163 00:07:11,348 --> 00:07:12,724 that little baseball movie, what I say to you, Andre? 164 00:07:12,891 --> 00:07:14,393 You said it wasn't a good idea. 165 00:07:14,643 --> 00:07:16,044 Now, when you tell me you wanted to do that movie 166 00:07:16,144 --> 00:07:17,963 about the Haitian revolution, Andre, what'd I say to you? 167 00:07:18,063 --> 00:07:19,690 You said it wasn't a good idea, okay? 168 00:07:19,857 --> 00:07:22,259 No. No, no, no, no, you're wrong, Andre. 169 00:07:22,359 --> 00:07:24,486 That's not what I said. I said, "Nigga, is you crazy?" 170 00:07:24,736 --> 00:07:26,697 I emailed it! I sent the email out 171 00:07:26,905 --> 00:07:29,808 with a bunch of racial slurs and bad English 172 00:07:29,908 --> 00:07:31,268 to my own company account! 173 00:07:31,368 --> 00:07:33,812 The reason why I did it, Andre, was 'cause I wanted to be on file 174 00:07:33,912 --> 00:07:35,689 to show people that I was against this! 175 00:07:35,789 --> 00:07:38,442 I was against this project! I jeopardized my job. 176 00:07:38,542 --> 00:07:40,085 You know that? I almost ruined my job. 177 00:07:40,252 --> 00:07:41,670 What are you talking about? 178 00:07:41,879 --> 00:07:43,881 A nigga can't get fired for saying "nigga" to a nigga. 179 00:07:44,047 --> 00:07:46,300 You've never been more wrong. A nigga can... 180 00:07:48,635 --> 00:07:50,704 A nigga can get fired for saying "nigga" to a nigga. 181 00:07:50,804 --> 00:07:52,164 A nigga don't run this damn company. 182 00:07:52,264 --> 00:07:54,166 Matter of fact, if niggas at this company 183 00:07:54,266 --> 00:07:56,126 found out that I was using the word nigga in here, 184 00:07:56,226 --> 00:07:57,795 my black ass would be on the street. 185 00:07:57,895 --> 00:07:59,171 So you're wrong, nigga. 186 00:07:59,271 --> 00:08:01,799 I guess you're right, nigga, but I don't want to do this. 187 00:08:01,899 --> 00:08:03,133 I hate James Nielson. 188 00:08:03,233 --> 00:08:06,053 I hate the Times. Everything I do, they trash. 189 00:08:06,153 --> 00:08:07,262 Not the funny stuff. 190 00:08:07,362 --> 00:08:09,406 Look, Andre, they're gonna write the story anyway. 191 00:08:09,531 --> 00:08:11,683 And I mean, it's hard enough getting you a job as it is. 192 00:08:11,783 --> 00:08:13,811 I mean, it's not like everybody's knocking on your door for work. 193 00:08:13,911 --> 00:08:15,746 It's really hard to get you work. You know that, I know that. 194 00:08:15,913 --> 00:08:17,289 Do you think the wedding is hurting me? 195 00:08:17,456 --> 00:08:18,941 Are you kidding me? Listen, Andre, 196 00:08:19,041 --> 00:08:21,193 the wedding is the best thing that you got going right now. 197 00:08:21,293 --> 00:08:22,486 And let's be honest. 198 00:08:22,586 --> 00:08:24,029 Andre, if this thing flops, 199 00:08:24,129 --> 00:08:25,589 we could be talking Dancing With The Stars, man. 200 00:08:25,714 --> 00:08:27,116 Dancing With the Fucking Stars? 201 00:08:27,216 --> 00:08:29,593 Yes. Dancing With The Stars. That's where you're at right now. 202 00:08:29,927 --> 00:08:32,346 Andre, all these people want to do is follow you around for one day. 203 00:08:32,596 --> 00:08:34,181 Let them follow you around! 204 00:08:34,306 --> 00:08:37,459 You know, if I get the word out, this movie could still be a big hit. 205 00:08:37,559 --> 00:08:39,186 It could be like a Haitian Django. 206 00:08:39,436 --> 00:08:42,005 If you say so, Andre, then yes. Hold on. Hold on. 207 00:08:42,105 --> 00:08:43,440 Hey! Hey! Hey! 208 00:08:43,565 --> 00:08:44,842 What is going on? Where's everyone running to? 209 00:08:44,942 --> 00:08:46,885 Zoolander's in the conference room! 210 00:08:46,985 --> 00:08:49,488 Ben Stiller's in the conference... These white people don't tell me shit! 211 00:08:50,072 --> 00:08:52,407 Yo, Silk! Where's the car? 212 00:08:52,824 --> 00:08:54,326 It's in range. 213 00:08:54,618 --> 00:08:56,620 Hey, how'd it go with Charlie Rose? 214 00:08:57,579 --> 00:08:58,914 Chelsea Brown. 215 00:08:59,498 --> 00:09:00,499 From the Times. 216 00:09:00,666 --> 00:09:02,167 Yes, from the Times. 217 00:09:02,459 --> 00:09:05,170 How'd it go? I thought you were supposed to be watching. 218 00:09:05,420 --> 00:09:07,589 You a real journalist, or like Miss Detroit? 219 00:09:07,965 --> 00:09:09,007 Funny. 220 00:09:09,174 --> 00:09:11,034 Look, they just told me that you're gonna be doing this. 221 00:09:11,134 --> 00:09:12,578 I'm sorry if I'm late. 222 00:09:12,678 --> 00:09:13,804 Congratulations on the wedding. 223 00:09:14,096 --> 00:09:15,097 And the movie. 224 00:09:15,472 --> 00:09:18,792 You know, some friends and I saw you a few years back at Purchase. 225 00:09:18,892 --> 00:09:19,935 You were really great. 226 00:09:20,143 --> 00:09:22,212 Thank you very much for doing this interview. 227 00:09:22,312 --> 00:09:25,466 Why, 'cause your boy James Nielson said he wouldn't watch my next movie 228 00:09:25,566 --> 00:09:27,276 if it was playing in his glasses? 229 00:09:27,734 --> 00:09:30,070 James. 230 00:09:30,404 --> 00:09:33,182 Hey, who would have thought Google would have made that possible, right? 231 00:09:33,282 --> 00:09:36,660 Look, you're about a half hour late. If I were you, I would get started. 232 00:09:36,994 --> 00:09:39,913 Okay. I just need to go home first. 233 00:09:40,163 --> 00:09:42,332 They just told me that we were doing this. 234 00:09:42,499 --> 00:09:43,667 I don't have my recorder. 235 00:09:43,876 --> 00:09:46,044 Recorder? What are you, Lois Lane? 236 00:09:46,170 --> 00:09:48,238 - Just use your phone. - No, you don't understand. 237 00:09:48,338 --> 00:09:50,841 I can't do an interview without it. It's kind of my thing. I'm sorry. 238 00:10:00,517 --> 00:10:01,518 You take these? 239 00:10:03,979 --> 00:10:05,189 Yes. 240 00:10:07,482 --> 00:10:08,509 They're good. 241 00:10:08,609 --> 00:10:10,027 I do photography on the side. 242 00:10:10,485 --> 00:10:13,488 I do a little poetry on the side, I do a little music on the side. 243 00:10:13,739 --> 00:10:15,073 That's nice. 244 00:10:15,407 --> 00:10:19,244 It's always good to make sure you never get too good at any one thing. 245 00:10:19,912 --> 00:10:21,814 Okay, I'm almost done. I just need to change really quickly. 246 00:10:21,914 --> 00:10:23,107 I'm gonna surprise my boyfriend for his birthday. 247 00:10:23,207 --> 00:10:25,375 A word of advice. 248 00:10:25,751 --> 00:10:27,085 Never surprise anyone. 249 00:10:27,252 --> 00:10:28,337 Why? 250 00:10:28,462 --> 00:10:31,548 Hey, I call my mother before I go over, 251 00:10:31,673 --> 00:10:33,367 'cause I don't want to walk in there one day 252 00:10:33,467 --> 00:10:35,427 and catch her hugging up on some other kid! 253 00:10:35,719 --> 00:10:38,889 Hi. Are you going to marry Princess Erica on TV? 254 00:10:39,515 --> 00:10:40,516 Can I see your phone? 255 00:10:43,060 --> 00:10:44,837 Did you have a baby when you were 10? 256 00:10:44,937 --> 00:10:47,064 Don't take his phone. Mom? 257 00:10:47,439 --> 00:10:49,525 Okay, what are you doing with my phone? 258 00:10:49,733 --> 00:10:51,135 Playing Angry Birds. 259 00:10:51,235 --> 00:10:53,070 But I don't have Angry Birds. 260 00:10:53,362 --> 00:10:54,346 You do now. 261 00:10:54,446 --> 00:10:58,909 Grace? Go finish your work, mamita. And give the man back his phone. 262 00:11:00,244 --> 00:11:01,353 - Hi. - Hi. 263 00:11:01,453 --> 00:11:03,247 I'm Gladys, Chelsea's mother. 264 00:11:03,497 --> 00:11:05,415 Are you ready for the big day? 265 00:11:06,083 --> 00:11:07,918 The wedding. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 266 00:11:08,252 --> 00:11:10,170 You're so lucky you found someone. 267 00:11:10,462 --> 00:11:12,865 I hear that being a cougar is a big thing, 268 00:11:12,965 --> 00:11:15,342 but I can't find anybody that wants to be couged. 269 00:11:15,676 --> 00:11:18,095 So, I read this stuff to try to better understand men. 270 00:11:18,262 --> 00:11:19,263 Listen to this. 271 00:11:19,388 --> 00:11:21,098 "Men love it when you gently..." 272 00:11:21,431 --> 00:11:22,416 What are you talking about? 273 00:11:22,516 --> 00:11:24,209 - "...lick their..." - Okay, no more Cosmo. 274 00:11:24,309 --> 00:11:25,936 Wait a minute. I thought you wrote this one. 275 00:11:26,061 --> 00:11:28,689 Wait, wait, get out of here. So you are a real journalist. 276 00:11:29,314 --> 00:11:31,149 I'm sorry, I didn't know it was a secret. 277 00:11:31,275 --> 00:11:33,402 Shakira Simmons? What's that? Your stripper name? 278 00:11:33,527 --> 00:11:34,695 Shakara Simmons. 279 00:11:34,862 --> 00:11:37,281 I don't use my real name for the fluffy stuff. 280 00:11:37,781 --> 00:11:40,576 Okay, I found my Flip, and we can go now. 281 00:11:41,326 --> 00:11:43,495 So what's up with all this Cinderella stuff? 282 00:11:44,788 --> 00:11:45,856 Those are my daughter's. 283 00:11:45,956 --> 00:11:48,792 A little girl's reading The Cinderella Effect. 284 00:11:49,126 --> 00:11:51,044 - Okay, that one's mine. - Okay. 285 00:11:51,461 --> 00:11:55,365 Don't you think it's kinda odd that a grown woman is still into Cinderella? 286 00:11:55,465 --> 00:11:58,243 Don't you think that it's kinda odd that a grown man is still into the Yankees? 287 00:11:58,343 --> 00:12:00,871 Yes, but the Yankees are a real team. 288 00:12:00,971 --> 00:12:03,557 - A-Rod is real? - Okay, you got me on that one. 289 00:12:04,892 --> 00:12:07,878 And for your information, my daughter is working on a school project. 290 00:12:07,978 --> 00:12:10,839 You know, where they have to rewrite a classical story 291 00:12:10,939 --> 00:12:13,317 and she's doing one on the real Cinderella. 292 00:12:14,026 --> 00:12:15,552 According to my child, 293 00:12:15,652 --> 00:12:19,139 Cinderella was born a nanny in the Bronx in 1995, okay? 294 00:12:19,239 --> 00:12:21,683 Her mama was a nanny and her secret father was the mean white landlord, 295 00:12:21,783 --> 00:12:22,893 who had three daughters. 296 00:12:22,993 --> 00:12:25,187 Cinderella had to do all the things that a nanny has to do, 297 00:12:25,287 --> 00:12:27,815 she had to cook and clean, and do everything for her sisters. 298 00:12:27,915 --> 00:12:30,292 And then one day, Prince came into town 299 00:12:30,501 --> 00:12:33,086 and was doing a concert that everyone wanted to attend. 300 00:12:33,295 --> 00:12:37,508 But the landlord forbid her to go, so she waited until her sisters left, 301 00:12:37,716 --> 00:12:40,411 and then snuck into the concert and was the prettiest girl there. 302 00:12:40,511 --> 00:12:42,179 Prince didn't want to hang with anyone else, 303 00:12:42,304 --> 00:12:43,580 and then she noticed that her sisters were leaving 304 00:12:43,680 --> 00:12:45,182 and she knew she had to go. 305 00:12:45,349 --> 00:12:48,143 But she also knew that she wanted to see Prince again. 306 00:12:48,519 --> 00:12:51,772 So, she did what girls do when they want to see a guy again. 307 00:12:52,147 --> 00:12:53,190 Hand job? 308 00:12:55,359 --> 00:12:56,401 She left something. 309 00:12:58,278 --> 00:13:00,697 Only two days until the Wedding Spectacular. 310 00:13:00,864 --> 00:13:02,850 The jury's still out on which shoes Erica will wear. 311 00:13:02,950 --> 00:13:05,144 So were you the class clown growing up? 312 00:13:05,244 --> 00:13:06,578 Class clown? 313 00:13:07,037 --> 00:13:08,814 Is that why we went back to get this recorder, 314 00:13:08,914 --> 00:13:11,708 so you can ask me if I was the class clown? 315 00:13:12,584 --> 00:13:14,194 Look, I am really sorry to break it to you, 316 00:13:14,294 --> 00:13:16,321 but not everybody knows your origin story. 317 00:13:16,421 --> 00:13:17,448 You know what? 318 00:13:17,548 --> 00:13:19,424 Why don't you just skip the hack questions 319 00:13:19,550 --> 00:13:20,759 and go right to something good? 320 00:13:21,218 --> 00:13:23,554 All right. Good questions, huh? 321 00:13:23,762 --> 00:13:25,305 How come you're not funny anymore? 322 00:13:25,556 --> 00:13:27,224 And what's up with this wedding? 323 00:13:27,516 --> 00:13:29,351 I mean, it seems really out of control. 324 00:13:29,560 --> 00:13:30,894 Who the fuck are you? 325 00:13:31,562 --> 00:13:33,564 You don't know me. Are you my agent? 326 00:13:34,398 --> 00:13:36,508 You had your kid so young you guys share math class, 327 00:13:36,608 --> 00:13:38,068 and you're judging me? 328 00:13:38,402 --> 00:13:40,596 You're asking me if my relationship 329 00:13:40,696 --> 00:13:42,573 - with my fiancee is real. - Yes. 330 00:13:43,365 --> 00:13:44,741 Wait, hold on a second. 331 00:13:45,742 --> 00:13:46,869 It's my career move. 332 00:13:47,119 --> 00:13:48,161 Go on. 333 00:13:49,413 --> 00:13:50,414 Hey, honey. 334 00:13:50,914 --> 00:13:52,065 - Hey, baby. - What's going on? 335 00:13:52,165 --> 00:13:54,943 Yeah, no. I'm here at the place. And it looks sick. 336 00:13:55,043 --> 00:13:58,130 It's like epic, babe, it's epic. It's a story. 337 00:13:58,422 --> 00:13:59,490 Yeah, we're doing the blocking 338 00:13:59,590 --> 00:14:01,492 and I'm looking at head shots of flower girls. 339 00:14:01,592 --> 00:14:02,885 She's got buck teeth. 340 00:14:03,010 --> 00:14:04,720 Is my stand-in as nervous as I am? 341 00:14:04,887 --> 00:14:07,164 Stop it. Everything looks just great, okay? 342 00:14:07,264 --> 00:14:08,932 I just wish you were here to see it. 343 00:14:09,266 --> 00:14:10,334 How's your press going? 344 00:14:10,434 --> 00:14:12,769 It's going okay when they ask about the movie. 345 00:14:13,645 --> 00:14:15,506 Baby, don't worry about what they're saying. 346 00:14:15,606 --> 00:14:18,217 Your movie is way over their heads. Did you pick up your tux? 347 00:14:18,317 --> 00:14:20,569 No, not yet. I'm running a little late. 348 00:14:20,777 --> 00:14:22,112 I look bad, you look bad. 349 00:14:22,446 --> 00:14:23,614 Champagne, Mr. Allen? 350 00:14:23,739 --> 00:14:24,907 Yeah, sure. 351 00:14:26,450 --> 00:14:28,685 Are you gonna drink that, Mr. Ankle Bracelet? 352 00:14:28,785 --> 00:14:30,145 I always say yes. 353 00:14:30,245 --> 00:14:32,414 'Cause whenever you say no, people want an explanation. 354 00:14:32,623 --> 00:14:35,292 Yeah, I'm the same way with meth. I just take it. 355 00:14:35,709 --> 00:14:37,961 Is it true that Erica helped you get clean? 356 00:14:38,295 --> 00:14:39,963 Do you even know what my movie's about? 357 00:14:40,172 --> 00:14:41,740 It's about Dutty Boukman, 358 00:14:41,840 --> 00:14:44,368 a self-educated slave who, once in Haiti, 359 00:14:44,468 --> 00:14:45,744 became one of the leaders of the revolution 360 00:14:45,844 --> 00:14:48,372 where Haitian slaves killed over 50,000 whites. 361 00:14:48,472 --> 00:14:50,499 Yay, dead white people. 362 00:14:50,599 --> 00:14:52,059 Dutty did not shut up and play nice. 363 00:14:52,226 --> 00:14:55,354 You know, normally, after someone says they saw your movie, 364 00:14:55,938 --> 00:14:59,091 they give you some sort of opinion, you know... 365 00:14:59,191 --> 00:15:02,094 They go, "I saw your movie and I thought it was good." 366 00:15:02,194 --> 00:15:04,596 And you know, sometimes they don't like your movie and they go, 367 00:15:04,696 --> 00:15:06,615 "I saw your movie and I thought it was interesting." 368 00:15:06,782 --> 00:15:11,019 Yeah, it was interesting how you ended the movie before you showed 369 00:15:11,119 --> 00:15:13,897 how the French had cut his head off and paraded it around the country. 370 00:15:13,997 --> 00:15:15,666 But I'd like to ask you this question first. 371 00:15:16,834 --> 00:15:20,170 How do you think being sober has affected your career? 372 00:15:20,546 --> 00:15:21,672 It hasn't. 373 00:15:23,423 --> 00:15:26,426 I think it has. I know it has. 374 00:15:26,844 --> 00:15:28,470 I mean, really. What do you know about sobriety? 375 00:15:28,804 --> 00:15:31,473 What do I know about sobriety? What don't I know? 376 00:15:31,640 --> 00:15:34,643 "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change... 377 00:15:34,768 --> 00:15:36,228 "...the courage to change the things I can 378 00:15:36,395 --> 00:15:39,214 "and the wisdom to not smoke crack." 379 00:15:39,314 --> 00:15:40,315 - Yeah. - Yeah. 380 00:15:40,691 --> 00:15:44,027 Is that more research, or are you in recovery? 381 00:15:45,612 --> 00:15:46,697 Four years. 382 00:15:47,781 --> 00:15:49,950 Four years? I'm four years. 383 00:15:50,117 --> 00:15:52,286 I drank everything, it didn't matter. 384 00:15:52,536 --> 00:15:55,539 It got really bad when I started guzzling hand sanitizer. 385 00:15:55,706 --> 00:15:57,541 Hand sanitizer? 386 00:15:58,083 --> 00:16:00,544 - Did you ever drink Sterno? - What the fuck is Sterno? 387 00:16:00,878 --> 00:16:04,590 Yeah, Sterno, you know those little cans they put at the buffet to keep food warm. 388 00:16:04,798 --> 00:16:06,592 That's some Amy Winehouse shit. 389 00:16:08,760 --> 00:16:12,181 Can we get back to this idea that your sobriety hasn't affected your work? 390 00:16:13,724 --> 00:16:16,210 Did Erica actually get you clean, as rumor has it? 391 00:16:16,310 --> 00:16:19,463 No, I got myself clean. You need to stop listening to rumors. 392 00:16:19,563 --> 00:16:20,547 Hammy! 393 00:16:20,647 --> 00:16:22,399 What got you clean, Miss Sterno? 394 00:16:23,483 --> 00:16:27,070 I don't know. My mother. My kid. 395 00:16:28,071 --> 00:16:30,407 Maybe I just got tired of waking up with strange dicks in my face. 396 00:16:32,784 --> 00:16:34,786 Too much info. What... 397 00:16:34,912 --> 00:16:37,581 Okay, your turn Mr. "I Got Myself Clean." 398 00:16:37,915 --> 00:16:39,917 - Rigorous honesty? - Yes. 399 00:16:40,417 --> 00:16:42,611 You guys rip me apart every chance you get. 400 00:16:42,711 --> 00:16:44,279 Why should I talk to you? 401 00:16:44,379 --> 00:16:45,714 I've got nothing to do with that. 402 00:16:45,839 --> 00:16:47,366 Yeah, but that's your people. 403 00:16:47,466 --> 00:16:49,493 Look, if you're gonna just cut my head off 404 00:16:49,593 --> 00:16:52,746 and parade it around the square, I don't need to help you with that. 405 00:16:52,846 --> 00:16:55,849 I'm not here to hurt you. I just want a decent story. 406 00:16:56,266 --> 00:16:59,269 You give me a couple of really great honest things, 407 00:16:59,728 --> 00:17:02,064 stuff you haven't told everybody else, 408 00:17:02,272 --> 00:17:05,275 some real inside stuff, rigorous honesty stuff, 409 00:17:05,943 --> 00:17:09,279 and I promise you... I will be more than fair. 410 00:17:10,280 --> 00:17:12,449 - On the record. - On the record. 411 00:17:14,451 --> 00:17:15,619 Deal. 412 00:17:16,954 --> 00:17:19,039 Nice to meet you, Andre Allen. 413 00:17:19,206 --> 00:17:21,416 I look forward to interviewing you, Andre Allen. 414 00:17:22,543 --> 00:17:26,713 Okay, let's try this again. First truthful question. 415 00:17:26,922 --> 00:17:28,257 What was your bottom? 416 00:17:28,966 --> 00:17:32,302 First truthful answer. Houston. 417 00:17:38,767 --> 00:17:41,270 So I get off the plane in Houston. 418 00:17:44,648 --> 00:17:47,968 Now, I'm expecting the comedy club to send some kid to pick me up. 419 00:17:48,068 --> 00:17:51,530 But I get to the gate and to my surprise, I'm met by... 420 00:17:53,824 --> 00:17:55,726 Hey, wassup? You came to pick me up? 421 00:17:55,826 --> 00:17:58,562 Yeah, man. Hey, sorry I didn't have one of them little signs, man. 422 00:17:58,662 --> 00:18:01,774 I'm Jazzy Dee, CEO at the Code J Enterprises, man. 423 00:18:01,874 --> 00:18:03,358 - Welcome to Houston. - Thanks a lot. 424 00:18:03,458 --> 00:18:05,944 We promoting your show, man. You know what I'm saying? 425 00:18:06,044 --> 00:18:07,529 - How was your flight? Good? - Yeah, it was pretty good. 426 00:18:07,629 --> 00:18:08,655 That's great. Great, man. 427 00:18:08,755 --> 00:18:11,158 You know, tickets are a little slow 'cause of the hair show in town, 428 00:18:11,258 --> 00:18:13,243 but don't worry, we're gonna have a big walk-up, dawg. 429 00:18:13,343 --> 00:18:16,471 Okay. Okay. So about... How far is the hotel? I'm starving. 430 00:18:16,638 --> 00:18:18,916 About 45 minute. Bruce Bruce is already there. 431 00:18:19,016 --> 00:18:20,334 Like I say, this my town. 432 00:18:20,434 --> 00:18:22,252 Anything you need, you let a brother know. 433 00:18:22,352 --> 00:18:24,004 I'm the motherfuckin' man in Houston, dawg. 434 00:18:24,104 --> 00:18:27,107 Anything you need, coke, weed, drank. 435 00:18:27,357 --> 00:18:29,735 You know, syrup. You want some of that syrup? 436 00:18:29,860 --> 00:18:31,011 - No, no, I'm good. - That's good. 437 00:18:31,111 --> 00:18:32,763 'Cause I'm the motherfuckin' man in Houston, man. 438 00:18:32,863 --> 00:18:34,056 I'm gonna tell you that right now. 439 00:18:34,156 --> 00:18:36,158 I'm the motherfuckin' man in Houston, baby! 440 00:18:37,201 --> 00:18:39,536 Hey, you see how I do it, right? 441 00:18:39,870 --> 00:18:41,105 No check-in or nothing. 442 00:18:41,205 --> 00:18:43,190 I just walk through the door, through the lobby, man. 443 00:18:43,290 --> 00:18:45,401 They just giving me the key. You know what I'm saying? 444 00:18:45,501 --> 00:18:47,778 I told you, I'm the motherfuckin' man in Houston, dawg. 445 00:18:47,878 --> 00:18:49,446 I got you a suite. 446 00:18:49,546 --> 00:18:51,698 Everything. All the amenities, everything good. 447 00:18:51,798 --> 00:18:55,219 Jacuzzi tub, a little living room. Bed got a duvet on it. 448 00:18:55,385 --> 00:18:58,388 You can lay down all over that, man. So you straight? 449 00:18:58,639 --> 00:19:00,791 I'm straight. I'm straight. Yo, check this out. 450 00:19:00,891 --> 00:19:02,643 So, I gotta get dressed, right? 451 00:19:02,893 --> 00:19:06,213 But a little later, why don't you come by, scoop me up, 452 00:19:06,313 --> 00:19:08,715 then we hit some clubs, and you know, promote the show? 453 00:19:08,815 --> 00:19:12,136 I like that. I like that. You're about your paper, boy. 454 00:19:12,236 --> 00:19:13,804 I'm about it, baby. I'm about it 'bout it. 455 00:19:13,904 --> 00:19:14,972 I'm gonna see you about 11:00. 456 00:19:15,072 --> 00:19:16,949 - By 11:00. By 11:00. - Okay. All right, cool. 457 00:19:17,074 --> 00:19:18,075 Hey... 458 00:19:18,534 --> 00:19:20,686 Dre, you mind if I get some of them hangers, man? 459 00:19:20,786 --> 00:19:22,329 I need some wooden hang... Damn it. 460 00:19:22,746 --> 00:19:24,081 They got the... 461 00:19:24,414 --> 00:19:26,750 They got the lock on 'em! They got the lock on 'em! 462 00:19:26,917 --> 00:19:28,919 They hip to your boy. Who the man in Houston? 463 00:19:29,336 --> 00:19:31,421 - Jay Dizzle! - Motherfuckin' man! 464 00:19:34,258 --> 00:19:35,759 This is Andre Allen. 465 00:19:36,093 --> 00:19:37,594 Come on out tomorrow night, 466 00:19:37,928 --> 00:19:42,266 to see me and my man, Bruce Bruce, at the Laugh Shack! 467 00:19:45,936 --> 00:19:47,271 Laugh Shack. 468 00:19:59,741 --> 00:20:01,685 This is how I do it every day. It's how I live. 469 00:20:01,785 --> 00:20:04,354 Strictly V.I.P. for me and my nigs. 470 00:20:04,454 --> 00:20:05,397 You know, I told you, 471 00:20:05,497 --> 00:20:07,374 I'm the motherfuckin' man in Houston, dawg! 472 00:20:07,541 --> 00:20:09,376 You don't even know what it's like out there, man. 473 00:20:09,626 --> 00:20:11,779 Nigga be on the other side of the ropes talkin' about, 474 00:20:11,879 --> 00:20:13,864 "Hey, Jazz, how can I get in V.I.P.?" 475 00:20:13,964 --> 00:20:16,133 I'm like, "Nigga, get a better life!" 476 00:20:19,052 --> 00:20:22,723 You crazy, Jazzy. But, look, we got to make a run. 477 00:20:22,973 --> 00:20:25,559 - Bye, Andre. Bye-bye, Bruce. - Bye. 478 00:20:25,893 --> 00:20:28,478 See you all later. Hey, beep me, Jazz. Don't forget. 479 00:20:28,979 --> 00:20:30,814 Don't run too far. 480 00:20:30,981 --> 00:20:32,399 - Yeah. - Beep you, all right. 481 00:20:33,150 --> 00:20:34,318 - Bye. - Yeah. 482 00:20:34,651 --> 00:20:35,652 Take care, ladies. 483 00:20:35,903 --> 00:20:37,721 Could we get another bottle over here? 484 00:20:37,821 --> 00:20:38,906 Thank you! 485 00:20:39,072 --> 00:20:40,157 Yes. 486 00:20:40,490 --> 00:20:41,783 Yeah. 487 00:20:41,992 --> 00:20:44,995 Hey, man, like I said, dawg, them two girls right there? 488 00:20:45,120 --> 00:20:46,997 They gonna come by the hotel later. 489 00:20:47,206 --> 00:20:48,207 Get out of here! 490 00:20:48,415 --> 00:20:49,483 I'm the motherfuckin' man, dawg! 491 00:20:49,583 --> 00:20:50,734 Oh, man! 492 00:20:50,834 --> 00:20:52,669 Yo, yo, Jazz, Jazz, Jazz! 493 00:20:52,920 --> 00:20:54,922 My wife's family's from Houston, man! 494 00:20:55,380 --> 00:20:58,033 One of those bitches might know her cousins or something, playa! 495 00:20:58,133 --> 00:21:00,677 No doubt, no doubt, Bruce, I respect that. 496 00:21:00,844 --> 00:21:03,514 I'll give you a full, official time-out on that, nigga. 497 00:21:03,680 --> 00:21:04,832 - But you! - Yo. 498 00:21:04,932 --> 00:21:07,684 You, my nigga! I know you can handle two bitches! 499 00:21:08,143 --> 00:21:09,878 If I hadn't been drinking all night, 500 00:21:09,978 --> 00:21:13,023 I would have known this was too good to be true. But... 501 00:21:13,524 --> 00:21:14,675 Bring four, nigga! Bring four. 502 00:21:14,775 --> 00:21:16,260 - Four bitches? - Four. Four. Four. 503 00:21:16,360 --> 00:21:18,429 I tell you, if I had four bitches, 504 00:21:18,529 --> 00:21:20,347 I'd have one of 'em braiding my motherfuckin' hair, 505 00:21:20,447 --> 00:21:22,099 and the other motherfuckin' doing my taxes! 506 00:21:22,199 --> 00:21:24,101 Goddamn, nigga! Goddamn. 507 00:21:24,201 --> 00:21:25,853 Is some smart hos out here. 508 00:21:25,953 --> 00:21:27,913 Some of these hos are smart, nigga, that's what I'm saying. 509 00:21:28,121 --> 00:21:30,707 I seemed confident, but that was the liquor talking. 510 00:21:31,041 --> 00:21:34,711 H-town! Who the motherfuckin' man? 511 00:21:34,962 --> 00:21:36,363 I mean, what you gotta understand is 512 00:21:36,463 --> 00:21:40,676 even when you're a little famous, and that's all I was, a little famous, 513 00:21:40,926 --> 00:21:43,595 people lie and exaggerate to you all the time. 514 00:21:43,804 --> 00:21:48,058 I need to borrow $10,000, man, okay? I'll never ask you for money again. 515 00:21:48,392 --> 00:21:50,294 Dude, for only 50 grand, 516 00:21:50,394 --> 00:21:53,313 we can control all the water on the Internet. 517 00:21:53,730 --> 00:21:56,733 Don't worry, I won't get pregnant. My pussy's broken. 518 00:21:58,068 --> 00:22:00,012 Anyway, I get back to the hotel 519 00:22:00,112 --> 00:22:02,364 and get what I used to call some "ho sleep." 520 00:22:02,489 --> 00:22:04,141 That's that horrible sleep you get 521 00:22:04,241 --> 00:22:06,994 when you think there's a chance a ho might come over. 522 00:22:25,762 --> 00:22:27,097 Hey, Andre. 523 00:22:27,389 --> 00:22:29,391 Hey, wassup? I forgot about you two. 524 00:22:29,600 --> 00:22:31,043 What you got poppin' up in here? 525 00:22:31,143 --> 00:22:32,186 I can't wait for your show. 526 00:22:32,436 --> 00:22:35,480 Bruce Bruce is so funny. I'm friends with his wife's cousin. 527 00:22:35,647 --> 00:22:36,690 Do you got a minibar? 528 00:22:36,857 --> 00:22:38,525 Yeah, yeah, I got a minibar. 529 00:22:39,067 --> 00:22:42,070 What y'all want? Chicken fingers? Breakfast? 530 00:22:42,279 --> 00:22:43,447 Jalapeno poppers? 531 00:22:43,614 --> 00:22:47,701 Jalapeno poppers? Okay, just let me call and see... 532 00:22:49,912 --> 00:22:51,079 Chicken. 533 00:22:51,413 --> 00:22:52,748 This is good. 534 00:22:55,459 --> 00:22:57,377 They were wildin' at the club when you left. 535 00:22:58,587 --> 00:23:00,214 - Cheers. - Cheers. 536 00:23:00,923 --> 00:23:02,257 You want some? 537 00:23:02,591 --> 00:23:04,510 Room service is my jam. 538 00:23:09,348 --> 00:23:10,833 - We got some more. - What? I'm a... 539 00:23:10,933 --> 00:23:12,142 We got whatever you need. 540 00:23:24,780 --> 00:23:26,198 Okay. 541 00:23:45,342 --> 00:23:46,426 Yeah. 542 00:24:00,107 --> 00:24:01,233 Oh, yeah. 543 00:24:05,070 --> 00:24:06,196 Yeah. 544 00:24:07,990 --> 00:24:09,892 I mean, honestly, I couldn't believe 545 00:24:09,992 --> 00:24:12,661 God had blessed me with these two angels. 546 00:24:17,374 --> 00:24:20,544 Hey, do not disturb! 547 00:24:21,003 --> 00:24:23,338 - Beat it. - I don't need anything! 548 00:24:24,464 --> 00:24:25,632 Fucking maids. 549 00:24:29,178 --> 00:24:30,370 Well, well, well. 550 00:24:30,470 --> 00:24:32,222 - What do we have here? - Hey, hey. 551 00:24:32,389 --> 00:24:34,099 Are you all doing a pillow fight? 552 00:24:34,224 --> 00:24:35,893 That's my shit right there. 553 00:24:39,313 --> 00:24:41,064 Oh, my God. Were you scared? 554 00:24:41,231 --> 00:24:42,841 Yes, I was scared. I'm naked 555 00:24:42,941 --> 00:24:45,427 and a man walks in the room and starts undressing. 556 00:24:45,527 --> 00:24:47,262 That look good, man. 557 00:24:47,362 --> 00:24:48,530 Hey, let me get some of that. 558 00:24:49,865 --> 00:24:52,017 - Hi, Jazzy. - Hey, Jazzy. 559 00:24:52,117 --> 00:24:54,995 My dick was gone, it looked like a button on a mink coat. 560 00:24:55,204 --> 00:24:56,522 - Yeah. - Yeah. 561 00:24:56,622 --> 00:24:58,440 Yeah, daddy Dee's getting it! 562 00:24:58,540 --> 00:24:59,733 Who the motherfuckin' man in Houston? 563 00:24:59,833 --> 00:25:01,110 You're the motherfuckin' man! 564 00:25:01,210 --> 00:25:02,753 You're the man. We love you. 565 00:25:03,462 --> 00:25:04,988 Look at that tow truck. Look at that tow truck. 566 00:25:05,088 --> 00:25:06,340 Back that thing up on it. 567 00:25:06,548 --> 00:25:08,842 Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. 568 00:25:09,051 --> 00:25:10,619 - Harder. Harder. - Yeah. 569 00:25:10,719 --> 00:25:13,055 Jazzy Dizzle. Gettin' it. 570 00:25:14,056 --> 00:25:16,141 I wanted to run away, but I was naked. 571 00:25:17,267 --> 00:25:18,477 Yeah. 572 00:25:18,894 --> 00:25:19,895 How did you feel? 573 00:25:20,103 --> 00:25:21,480 I was terrified. 574 00:25:22,022 --> 00:25:23,273 Yeah, yeah. 575 00:25:23,482 --> 00:25:25,776 Hey, bitch. Get your ass over here. 576 00:25:26,235 --> 00:25:27,277 Me? 577 00:25:29,404 --> 00:25:30,739 Coming, Daddy. 578 00:25:31,198 --> 00:25:34,309 These girls that I thought were angels two seconds ago, 579 00:25:34,409 --> 00:25:36,870 are now the most disgusting things I've ever seen. 580 00:25:37,955 --> 00:25:39,248 Oh, yeah. 581 00:25:41,208 --> 00:25:42,334 What'd the room smell like? 582 00:25:42,751 --> 00:25:45,796 What did the room smell like? What kind of question is that? 583 00:25:45,963 --> 00:25:46,947 Come on. 584 00:25:47,047 --> 00:25:49,716 Scared motherfucker, ass and smoked ribs. 585 00:25:50,133 --> 00:25:51,927 But the most disgusting part... 586 00:25:52,135 --> 00:25:55,013 - No! - Yes! 587 00:25:55,222 --> 00:25:57,057 I think, I think I'm coming! 588 00:26:01,812 --> 00:26:03,438 It was like Old Faithful. 589 00:26:05,190 --> 00:26:07,359 It was just everywhere. 590 00:26:07,985 --> 00:26:11,697 Like the garbage truck had to come and lay salt to get rid of it. 591 00:26:12,781 --> 00:26:14,283 So finally, they leave. 592 00:26:14,491 --> 00:26:16,226 I assume it's to do coke. 593 00:26:16,326 --> 00:26:18,203 You know, people get real stingy with their coke. 594 00:26:39,683 --> 00:26:40,684 Hey, wassup? 595 00:26:41,018 --> 00:26:42,352 Where's Jazzy? 596 00:26:42,644 --> 00:26:44,922 I don't know. I thought you all went somewhere. 597 00:26:45,022 --> 00:26:46,215 Yeah, right. 598 00:26:46,315 --> 00:26:48,509 You don't know where your best friend Jazzy's at? 599 00:26:48,609 --> 00:26:50,194 Best friend? 600 00:26:50,527 --> 00:26:53,739 Hey, I just met him today. He's not really my best friend. 601 00:26:54,156 --> 00:26:56,867 I mean, is something wrong? Is there a problem? 602 00:26:57,034 --> 00:26:58,535 Yeah, there's a fucking problem. 603 00:26:58,869 --> 00:27:01,480 Your best friend said if we came over here and fucked you, 604 00:27:01,580 --> 00:27:02,606 we'd get $1,000. 605 00:27:02,706 --> 00:27:04,149 $1,000? What the... Hey, hey, hey... 606 00:27:04,249 --> 00:27:06,485 And now I cannot find his ass. 607 00:27:06,585 --> 00:27:09,338 Hey, he ain't tell me shit, and even if he did, 608 00:27:09,671 --> 00:27:12,007 why would I pay you to fuck him? 609 00:27:12,424 --> 00:27:14,201 I mean, I'm nasty, but I'm not a freak! 610 00:27:14,301 --> 00:27:15,969 I don't care! 611 00:27:16,470 --> 00:27:18,414 You better get us our money and soon, 612 00:27:18,514 --> 00:27:20,499 or I'm gonna yell "rape" up in this bitch 613 00:27:20,599 --> 00:27:23,227 and your ass is gonna go to jail! Do you hear me? 614 00:27:23,352 --> 00:27:25,129 - I ain't givin' y'all... - Do you hear me? 615 00:27:25,229 --> 00:27:26,396 I got nothing to do with Jazzy! 616 00:27:26,563 --> 00:27:27,648 Rape! 617 00:27:31,026 --> 00:27:33,470 I told you I'm the motherfuckin' man in Houston, right? 618 00:27:33,570 --> 00:27:35,697 If I didn't know that judge, you might still be in there. 619 00:27:35,864 --> 00:27:37,241 Look, I'm gonna drop Dede off at practice, 620 00:27:37,366 --> 00:27:39,576 then get you back to the hotel, you get some rest. 621 00:27:40,536 --> 00:27:41,870 I mean, after Houston, 622 00:27:42,079 --> 00:27:44,081 I totally quit drinking. 623 00:27:44,790 --> 00:27:47,626 From that point on, I never had a drink again. 624 00:27:49,670 --> 00:27:52,339 No donuts! Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. 625 00:27:52,714 --> 00:27:55,325 There it is, let me be your prisoner of love. 626 00:27:55,425 --> 00:27:56,785 - How about that? - You know you need to back up. 627 00:27:56,885 --> 00:27:58,662 Lock me up! Put the key in your bra! 628 00:27:58,762 --> 00:28:00,264 Let me come and get it with my teeth! 629 00:28:01,098 --> 00:28:02,432 Yeah, Charles. 630 00:28:02,641 --> 00:28:04,393 It's just the matinees. 631 00:28:04,977 --> 00:28:07,729 Hey, people are still at work. It'll pick up tonight. 632 00:28:08,063 --> 00:28:11,692 Look, I just walked in the jewelry store, and I will check in with you later, okay? 633 00:28:17,072 --> 00:28:18,407 Here you go. 634 00:28:22,828 --> 00:28:25,080 - These aren't the rings. - They're not? 635 00:28:25,455 --> 00:28:27,583 I mean, those are the rings, but there's an extra ring there. 636 00:28:27,833 --> 00:28:31,086 Let me go get Michele. I think she dealt with it. 637 00:28:34,423 --> 00:28:36,800 - Hey, excuse me, sir. No, no, no. - I just wanted... 638 00:28:37,426 --> 00:28:39,136 Mr. Allen, hi. 639 00:28:39,261 --> 00:28:40,804 Is there a problem with your ring? 640 00:28:41,138 --> 00:28:42,556 Well, there's another ring there. 641 00:28:43,432 --> 00:28:44,725 You're right. 642 00:28:44,850 --> 00:28:48,061 I mean, we're just getting married, we're not winning the Super Bowl. 643 00:28:48,353 --> 00:28:51,690 Miss Long came by earlier this week and 644 00:28:52,274 --> 00:28:54,776 added onto the order. 645 00:28:55,569 --> 00:28:57,237 Added to the order? 646 00:29:03,452 --> 00:29:04,786 Hammy! 647 00:29:06,496 --> 00:29:08,165 Hey, yo, Hammy! 648 00:29:09,833 --> 00:29:10,859 Hey, Hammy! 649 00:29:10,959 --> 00:29:12,294 Let's go. 650 00:29:13,962 --> 00:29:15,005 So, here are your lines. 651 00:29:15,172 --> 00:29:17,549 The engineer will cue you when he is ready. 652 00:29:17,966 --> 00:29:19,159 You good? You need a coffee or anything? 653 00:29:19,259 --> 00:29:20,969 - No, I'm good. - All right, great. 654 00:29:21,762 --> 00:29:22,930 So, 655 00:29:23,680 --> 00:29:25,082 are you okay now? 656 00:29:25,182 --> 00:29:27,392 I saw you yelling on the phone earlier. 657 00:29:27,518 --> 00:29:28,852 No, I'm fine. 658 00:29:29,811 --> 00:29:31,313 What's on your mind? 659 00:29:31,522 --> 00:29:34,967 Ask me a question. Interview me. Get in my business. 660 00:29:35,067 --> 00:29:37,553 That's what I'm trying to do. What happened? 661 00:29:37,653 --> 00:29:39,655 Okay. Let me ask you a question. 662 00:29:39,821 --> 00:29:43,158 If a guy you loved gave you a wedding ring, 663 00:29:43,283 --> 00:29:45,410 a ring you said you've always wanted, 664 00:29:46,119 --> 00:29:48,247 would you exchange it because your boss told you to? 665 00:29:48,372 --> 00:29:50,707 Why'd you change the rings without talking to me? 666 00:29:50,916 --> 00:29:54,069 Oh, my gosh, I'm so sorry. I meant to tell you. 667 00:29:54,169 --> 00:29:55,504 I've been so busy, I just forgot. 668 00:29:56,547 --> 00:29:57,714 How does that make you feel? 669 00:29:57,840 --> 00:30:01,218 I didn't say it was me, I just said if a guy you loved... 670 00:30:01,844 --> 00:30:03,871 So this guy I love... 671 00:30:03,971 --> 00:30:05,389 Which ring did he get me? 672 00:30:05,597 --> 00:30:07,624 The network, those jerks, 673 00:30:07,724 --> 00:30:09,585 they just thought they weren't camera-friendly enough, 674 00:30:09,685 --> 00:30:10,919 and I would have never allowed them to do it 675 00:30:11,019 --> 00:30:12,563 if I thought there was gonna be a problem. 676 00:30:13,355 --> 00:30:15,732 She's a reality star. Everything's for sale. 677 00:30:15,941 --> 00:30:17,860 Everything's not for sale. 678 00:30:19,611 --> 00:30:21,446 Okay! You ready? 679 00:30:22,823 --> 00:30:27,244 What's up? This is Andre Allen and when I listen to satellite radio, 680 00:30:27,411 --> 00:30:30,414 I listen to Sirius Hits One. 681 00:30:30,914 --> 00:30:33,917 That's... That's good, just... 682 00:30:34,293 --> 00:30:35,586 Just make it a little funnier. 683 00:30:36,420 --> 00:30:38,755 - Funnier? - You're a funny guy. 684 00:30:40,883 --> 00:30:42,384 Make it more funny. 685 00:30:43,093 --> 00:30:44,344 Okay. 686 00:30:44,845 --> 00:30:49,666 Hey, wassup, this is Andre Allen and when I listen to satellite radio, 687 00:30:49,766 --> 00:30:51,768 I listen to Sirius Hits One! 688 00:30:53,395 --> 00:30:56,982 Just, you know, say... Just put a little... 689 00:30:57,274 --> 00:30:58,400 Put a little stank on it. 690 00:30:59,693 --> 00:31:00,694 Stank? 691 00:31:01,778 --> 00:31:03,363 Stank. Stank. 692 00:31:03,614 --> 00:31:05,616 - Stank? - Give it stank. 693 00:31:05,949 --> 00:31:08,160 Okay, I don't really know what you mean. 694 00:31:08,327 --> 00:31:09,494 Could you show me? 695 00:31:11,163 --> 00:31:14,166 You're the funny... I'm not... Okay, all right. It's like... 696 00:31:14,458 --> 00:31:17,294 Hey! This is Andre Allen, 697 00:31:17,669 --> 00:31:20,339 and when I listen to satellite radio... 698 00:31:21,465 --> 00:31:23,967 I listen to Sirius Hits One! 699 00:31:24,468 --> 00:31:25,802 It's a brand new movie. 700 00:31:26,094 --> 00:31:28,180 - Uprize? - Uprize. Uprize. 701 00:31:28,388 --> 00:31:29,890 It's in theaters today. 702 00:31:30,182 --> 00:31:31,808 You're playin' a Haitian revolutionary? 703 00:31:32,142 --> 00:31:33,977 - This is a... - Homosexuals. 704 00:31:34,144 --> 00:31:35,812 - ...homosexual radio station. - Yeah. 705 00:31:36,021 --> 00:31:38,482 I just want to say, "What's up?" to all my Haitian fans 706 00:31:39,107 --> 00:31:40,467 that listen to Opie and Anthony. 707 00:31:40,567 --> 00:31:41,802 First of all, who's going to believe 708 00:31:41,902 --> 00:31:44,613 that Hammy the Bear is a revolutionary out of Haiti? 709 00:31:44,947 --> 00:31:46,532 Hammy's not in the movie. 710 00:31:46,698 --> 00:31:49,226 They should let children out of school to see this movie. 711 00:31:49,326 --> 00:31:50,494 They should show it in school. 712 00:31:50,661 --> 00:31:55,457 First hundred gay people get three dollars off their tickets. 713 00:31:55,749 --> 00:31:58,252 If you look at my comedy, it was always serious. 714 00:31:58,502 --> 00:32:00,070 Just prove your gayness... 715 00:32:00,170 --> 00:32:01,672 - How do we prove we're gay? - ...and we... 716 00:32:01,797 --> 00:32:03,882 I have some... Some goat meat. 717 00:32:04,049 --> 00:32:06,552 I brought you some Haitian food. 718 00:32:06,677 --> 00:32:08,011 - Goat meat. - Goat meat? 719 00:32:08,178 --> 00:32:10,497 - Spaghetti with ketchup... - What is... 720 00:32:10,597 --> 00:32:13,225 ...which Haitians actually eat for breakfast. 721 00:32:13,851 --> 00:32:16,253 - Really? - Yes. This... This... 722 00:32:16,353 --> 00:32:17,354 Sounds awful. 723 00:32:17,521 --> 00:32:20,966 Yes, spaghetti with ketchup is the Cheerios of Haiti. 724 00:32:21,066 --> 00:32:23,735 Now, is there going to be a Hammy the Bear 4? 725 00:32:23,986 --> 00:32:28,156 I hate Hammy the Bear. I gave you three Hammy the Bears. 726 00:32:28,490 --> 00:32:30,309 I want people to take me serious. 727 00:32:30,409 --> 00:32:33,270 I want people to stop walking up to me on the street 728 00:32:33,370 --> 00:32:35,314 and making bear sounds. 729 00:32:35,414 --> 00:32:37,858 Andre, what do you have to say to the white audience here 730 00:32:37,958 --> 00:32:40,878 that is insulted, disgusted, 731 00:32:41,211 --> 00:32:44,865 by your movie, watching 50,000 of their people being killed? 732 00:32:44,965 --> 00:32:49,119 George Bush kills a lot of brown people. Nobody had a problem with that. 733 00:32:49,219 --> 00:32:50,220 It wasn't a movie. 734 00:32:50,345 --> 00:32:52,723 He killed some... Like, really killed them! 735 00:32:52,890 --> 00:32:55,209 I fake-kill white people and it's a problem. 736 00:32:55,309 --> 00:32:56,435 There's outrage. 737 00:32:56,560 --> 00:33:00,564 How many of these white people actually die on screen? 738 00:33:00,856 --> 00:33:03,801 Probably two, three thousand. 739 00:33:03,901 --> 00:33:04,943 That's it, dawg? 740 00:33:06,403 --> 00:33:08,280 - Stank. - Stank. 741 00:33:13,243 --> 00:33:14,912 Nice and funny. Go! 742 00:33:15,579 --> 00:33:19,416 Wassup, motherfuckers? This is motherfucking Andre Allen! 743 00:33:19,666 --> 00:33:24,129 And when I listen to satellite radio, or scratch my nuts, that is, 744 00:33:24,922 --> 00:33:28,759 I listen to Sirius motherfucking 101, 745 00:33:29,051 --> 00:33:30,219 biatch! 746 00:33:31,470 --> 00:33:32,554 First take was good. 747 00:33:33,263 --> 00:33:34,932 I was wrong on the stank note. 748 00:33:35,098 --> 00:33:38,560 First take had a lot of wonderful stuff in there. 749 00:33:43,440 --> 00:33:45,609 I hope you're writing nice things about me. 750 00:33:45,943 --> 00:33:46,944 Let's go. 751 00:33:54,618 --> 00:33:56,453 - What's up, dawg? - Hammy! 752 00:33:57,955 --> 00:33:59,957 Hammy, don't get brand new. 753 00:34:00,791 --> 00:34:02,960 Hollywood. Hollywood! 754 00:34:03,293 --> 00:34:05,487 Holly, hey, Holly! Hollywood! Get... 755 00:34:05,587 --> 00:34:08,590 Get your ass over here! 756 00:34:08,966 --> 00:34:11,301 Look at who's... Look who's slummin'! 757 00:34:12,052 --> 00:34:14,121 Come here. Come here, boy! 758 00:34:14,221 --> 00:34:16,640 Hollywood! Hollywood! 759 00:34:16,807 --> 00:34:21,311 Roll out the red carpet. There it is. Hollywood, come on, boy. 760 00:34:21,436 --> 00:34:24,006 What you... I thought you'd be in L.A., 761 00:34:24,106 --> 00:34:25,816 you know, getting ready for that big wedding. 762 00:34:25,941 --> 00:34:27,609 I see commercials for it all the time. 763 00:34:27,818 --> 00:34:31,054 Yeah, yeah, I'm in town just doing some press for this movie. 764 00:34:31,154 --> 00:34:32,322 I leave tonight. 765 00:34:33,323 --> 00:34:34,933 Chelsea here is doing a story on me. 766 00:34:35,033 --> 00:34:36,201 Hello. 767 00:34:36,994 --> 00:34:38,312 So I see. 768 00:34:38,412 --> 00:34:40,022 That's why you bring your ass around here. 769 00:34:40,122 --> 00:34:42,040 What, you telling her how bad you had it? 770 00:34:42,207 --> 00:34:43,542 Is that what it is? 771 00:34:43,834 --> 00:34:46,879 Come on, man. You're coming to the party, right? 772 00:34:47,671 --> 00:34:49,548 Some people got to work. 773 00:34:49,756 --> 00:34:52,134 I'll tell you what. I'll come to your next bachelor party. 774 00:34:55,345 --> 00:34:57,347 - It's not funny, man. - Hey, tell me something. 775 00:34:57,514 --> 00:34:58,582 Your next wife, 776 00:34:58,682 --> 00:35:01,143 is she going to be white or she gonna be Asian? 777 00:35:02,978 --> 00:35:04,521 Still not funny, man. 778 00:35:04,688 --> 00:35:07,733 It's only funny when you say mean shit, right? 779 00:35:09,651 --> 00:35:10,803 - You know what? - What? 780 00:35:10,903 --> 00:35:13,989 Imma get out of here. I'll catch you later, okay? 781 00:35:14,406 --> 00:35:16,575 Hey, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. 782 00:35:16,867 --> 00:35:19,745 Come here, come here. Come here. 783 00:35:20,037 --> 00:35:22,981 Look, can you break me off a little something? 784 00:35:23,081 --> 00:35:24,274 I... 785 00:35:24,374 --> 00:35:27,044 I haven't got my check... Haven't cashed it yet. 786 00:35:33,926 --> 00:35:34,927 Here. 787 00:35:35,802 --> 00:35:36,887 Really? 788 00:35:37,179 --> 00:35:38,222 Thanks. 789 00:35:38,388 --> 00:35:39,415 I'll put it on your tab, okay? 790 00:35:39,515 --> 00:35:41,291 Thanks, Hollywood. 791 00:35:41,391 --> 00:35:43,602 Thank you, Hollywood! 792 00:35:43,894 --> 00:35:45,312 Hey, nice meeting you. 793 00:35:45,521 --> 00:35:48,232 Hey, don't you believe a thing he says, okay? 794 00:35:49,608 --> 00:35:51,276 Hollywood! Damn! 795 00:35:51,401 --> 00:35:52,569 Who was that? 796 00:35:53,237 --> 00:35:54,805 My father. 797 00:35:54,905 --> 00:35:56,949 - Hammy! - Yo, Hammy! 798 00:35:57,574 --> 00:35:59,785 You don't even know what celibacy mean! 799 00:36:00,410 --> 00:36:03,413 Oh, my gosh! Hi! Andre! 800 00:36:03,664 --> 00:36:05,190 Yo! Look what the cat dragged in! 801 00:36:05,290 --> 00:36:06,275 Yes! 802 00:36:06,375 --> 00:36:08,777 - Akil, give your uncle a hug. - Hey, man, what's up? 803 00:36:08,877 --> 00:36:10,904 Shit, hide the liquor. God damn it! 804 00:36:11,004 --> 00:36:12,239 Hide the liquor? 805 00:36:12,339 --> 00:36:13,924 Look who's talking. Hide the crack. 806 00:36:17,177 --> 00:36:19,413 Yo, homeboy, well, that wasn't necessary, man. 807 00:36:19,513 --> 00:36:20,664 That was the '80s. 808 00:36:20,764 --> 00:36:24,601 Either you was using or you was selling. Either way, you got swept up in it. 809 00:36:24,768 --> 00:36:27,521 Hey, man, I'm being nice. I didn't mention that five grand you owe me. 810 00:36:27,688 --> 00:36:31,091 When I get my income tax check, you're gonna get yours off top, my man. 811 00:36:31,191 --> 00:36:32,968 You know what, you gotta have a income first 812 00:36:33,068 --> 00:36:34,736 before you get a check. You can't tax zero. 813 00:36:35,404 --> 00:36:37,072 Is this Come Down On Fred Day? 814 00:36:37,948 --> 00:36:39,658 Yeah, he's allergic to jobs. 815 00:36:40,242 --> 00:36:42,536 He takes job Benadryl. Just take it. 816 00:36:42,661 --> 00:36:45,289 When he feel a job coming on, he just take a Benadryl. 817 00:36:47,791 --> 00:36:50,319 Hey, everybody, this is Chelsea Brown. 818 00:36:50,419 --> 00:36:53,130 She's doing a story on me for The New York Times. 819 00:36:53,714 --> 00:36:56,800 Now, she's gonna ask a few of y'all some questions. Feel free to answer. 820 00:36:57,301 --> 00:36:59,970 But remember, no snitching! 821 00:37:00,596 --> 00:37:01,789 You must be out your mind! 822 00:37:01,889 --> 00:37:03,557 We're gonna tell all his shit. 823 00:37:03,724 --> 00:37:06,643 You want me to be quiet, you gotta clear the five thousand, my man. 824 00:37:06,852 --> 00:37:08,687 I said five thousand to be nice. 825 00:37:08,896 --> 00:37:12,049 When it come to me, baby girl, I'm gonna turn over like a apple pie. 826 00:37:12,149 --> 00:37:15,360 You know what, you just ate a apple pie, you fat motherfucker. Shut up! 827 00:37:19,072 --> 00:37:20,407 Can I say something? 828 00:37:20,657 --> 00:37:22,893 Jealousy will get y'all nowhere! 829 00:37:22,993 --> 00:37:26,146 I watch Erica's show every week. I can't wait to see the wedding. 830 00:37:26,246 --> 00:37:27,664 When you gonna bring her around here? 831 00:37:27,915 --> 00:37:28,899 Soon. 832 00:37:28,999 --> 00:37:30,275 That's what you said last time. 833 00:37:30,375 --> 00:37:32,503 And you know what, I'm still waiting on my invitation. 834 00:37:32,794 --> 00:37:35,172 Hey. I'm not in charge of the guest list. Okay? 835 00:37:35,297 --> 00:37:36,824 I'm just the groom. I'm not in charge of all this stuff. 836 00:37:36,924 --> 00:37:38,842 Tell the truth. Tell the truth. That bitch don't like me. 837 00:37:39,176 --> 00:37:40,761 No, she likes you. She asks about you. 838 00:37:40,928 --> 00:37:42,079 She asks about me? 839 00:37:42,179 --> 00:37:43,247 She asks about you all the time. 840 00:37:43,347 --> 00:37:44,348 What does she say? 841 00:37:44,515 --> 00:37:46,083 She say, "How your big friend doing?" 842 00:37:46,183 --> 00:37:47,351 My big... 843 00:37:47,851 --> 00:37:50,854 Is that what that bitch think about me? I'm big like that? For real? 844 00:37:50,979 --> 00:37:51,964 I'm just saying. 845 00:37:52,064 --> 00:37:54,133 That's that Hollywood shit, Andre! That's that Hollywood shit! 846 00:37:54,233 --> 00:37:55,609 I'm just playing. I'm just playing. 847 00:37:55,776 --> 00:37:56,927 Why I ain't got my invitation? 848 00:37:57,027 --> 00:37:58,153 Well, 'cause... 849 00:37:58,862 --> 00:38:00,431 'Cause they figure we could, you know... The hotel... 850 00:38:00,531 --> 00:38:01,807 Andre, you're full of shit right now. 851 00:38:01,907 --> 00:38:03,408 And the airfare. 852 00:38:03,700 --> 00:38:05,310 Everybody's coming to the bachelor party, right? 853 00:38:05,410 --> 00:38:08,439 I want to, but General Tao over here... 854 00:38:08,539 --> 00:38:12,609 I said no, 'cause he don't know how to come home and shit, making it rain... 855 00:38:12,709 --> 00:38:14,278 We need our fucking ones. 856 00:38:14,378 --> 00:38:15,696 Put that down and have a fucking seat. 857 00:38:15,796 --> 00:38:18,699 I mean, come on, there's gonna be a TV crew there. 858 00:38:18,799 --> 00:38:19,992 Erica picked out everything. 859 00:38:20,092 --> 00:38:21,927 They're even giving out gift bags. 860 00:38:22,052 --> 00:38:24,555 Gift bags? Nigga, kill yourself. 861 00:38:25,055 --> 00:38:28,100 What's wrong, man? What's wrong with a gift bag? 862 00:38:28,225 --> 00:38:29,585 They got lots of cool shit in there. 863 00:38:29,685 --> 00:38:31,061 Nigga and gift bags. 864 00:38:32,396 --> 00:38:34,356 - He's a corny-ass nigga. - All right. 865 00:38:35,357 --> 00:38:37,693 I got another five grand. What you got? 866 00:38:40,153 --> 00:38:41,864 Can I get one of them gift bags? 867 00:38:43,615 --> 00:38:45,768 Hey, bro-bro, check this out. 868 00:38:45,868 --> 00:38:48,537 I got the new jawn. The 2016 jawn. 869 00:38:48,662 --> 00:38:52,316 It's real light. Matter of fact, if you take it off, you won't even sweat. 870 00:38:52,416 --> 00:38:54,318 I can take yours off, too, if you want me to. 871 00:38:54,418 --> 00:38:56,253 Nah, that's okay, but thanks. 872 00:38:56,670 --> 00:39:00,674 Nigga, put your bracelet back on! I don't want the cops running in here! 873 00:39:00,966 --> 00:39:04,303 Me? I was there first time he got on stage. 874 00:39:04,845 --> 00:39:07,598 - How was he? - He sucked. 875 00:39:07,806 --> 00:39:12,436 Nothing about him was funny. He was like a bag of dead kittens. 876 00:39:12,936 --> 00:39:16,440 Son, when Nas focus, he better than Jay, man, I'm sorry. 877 00:39:16,607 --> 00:39:17,733 That's some real shit. 878 00:39:17,900 --> 00:39:19,760 'Cause Tupac was headed for the Oscar. 879 00:39:19,860 --> 00:39:21,987 Or Tupac would be one of our political leaders. 880 00:39:22,446 --> 00:39:26,241 Tupac might be a political leader, if he was alive. 881 00:39:26,533 --> 00:39:30,229 But then again, Tupac might be in a Tyler Perry movie right now. 882 00:39:30,329 --> 00:39:31,413 So you don't know. 883 00:39:31,622 --> 00:39:33,665 - You don't know. - You never know. 884 00:39:33,790 --> 00:39:36,502 He might be... Tupac might be 885 00:39:36,710 --> 00:39:40,380 the bad dark-skinned boyfriend in a Tyler Perry movie. 886 00:39:40,506 --> 00:39:42,007 I gotta agree with that shit right there. 887 00:39:42,257 --> 00:39:44,259 I would hope he's a senator. 888 00:39:45,385 --> 00:39:48,347 But he might be kicking Jill Scott down a flight of stairs. 889 00:39:50,724 --> 00:39:52,893 Yo. Dre. Yo, Dre! 890 00:39:53,060 --> 00:39:54,378 Who was the funniest? 891 00:39:54,478 --> 00:39:57,356 I think I was the funniest. I'm tight funny. Yeah. 892 00:39:57,648 --> 00:39:59,216 Yeah? You ever do any stand-up? 893 00:39:59,316 --> 00:40:01,610 Nah, nah, I'm like, you know... 894 00:40:01,735 --> 00:40:04,638 I'm not stand-up funny, I'm just, like, the funny dude. 895 00:40:04,738 --> 00:40:08,200 Like, you know, put me in a scenario, and I'll go buck wild. 896 00:40:08,492 --> 00:40:10,561 I always been funnier than Dre! 897 00:40:10,661 --> 00:40:12,579 When my ma's water broke, I was funny. 898 00:40:12,704 --> 00:40:15,916 She went into labor, she wasn't crying, she wasn't screaming. 899 00:40:16,041 --> 00:40:17,209 She was laughing! 900 00:40:17,334 --> 00:40:19,002 The doctor said, "What's wrong with her?" 901 00:40:19,253 --> 00:40:20,712 She said, "I'm having Fred." 902 00:40:21,171 --> 00:40:23,073 I'm just saying... I'm just saying, 903 00:40:23,173 --> 00:40:24,950 if it don't work out with me and this nigga, 904 00:40:25,050 --> 00:40:26,410 I'm gonna get me a white man. 905 00:40:26,510 --> 00:40:28,579 Do you ever think about how different your life would be 906 00:40:28,679 --> 00:40:29,747 had you stayed together? 907 00:40:29,847 --> 00:40:31,849 It just didn't work out. 908 00:40:32,766 --> 00:40:34,268 I broke up with him. 909 00:40:35,185 --> 00:40:37,688 Yeah. I'm happy where I'm at. 910 00:40:38,856 --> 00:40:40,774 But you must think about it sometimes. 911 00:40:42,359 --> 00:40:44,194 Every fucking day. 912 00:40:44,653 --> 00:40:46,029 I mean, girl, 913 00:40:46,321 --> 00:40:48,991 I used to get mad at him for playing PlayStation. 914 00:40:49,616 --> 00:40:51,268 What kind of shit was that? 915 00:40:51,368 --> 00:40:53,412 If I'd have known how successful he was gonna be, 916 00:40:53,579 --> 00:40:55,581 I woulda built him my own PlayStation. 917 00:40:55,789 --> 00:40:57,107 Dre ain't funny. You know who's funnier than Dre? 918 00:40:57,207 --> 00:40:58,876 Nick Cannon. That motherfucker hilarious. 919 00:40:59,168 --> 00:41:01,003 Put your top five... Who's your top five? 920 00:41:01,253 --> 00:41:07,593 Slick Rick, Kane, Rakim, KRS-One, and Biggie is my fifth man. 921 00:41:08,051 --> 00:41:10,888 And Jay Z is my sixth man. 922 00:41:11,054 --> 00:41:12,247 Would you write any jokes for him? 923 00:41:12,347 --> 00:41:15,058 Yeah, I would, I would, but, see, everything up here with mine. 924 00:41:15,225 --> 00:41:19,396 My top five is Jay, Nas, Scarface... 925 00:41:19,605 --> 00:41:20,714 Okay, okay. 926 00:41:20,814 --> 00:41:24,151 Scarface, 'cause everybody got their shit from Scarface. 927 00:41:25,485 --> 00:41:27,154 - Rakim. - Rakim. 928 00:41:27,279 --> 00:41:31,200 Rakim, and then I might let Biggie get in there. 929 00:41:31,366 --> 00:41:33,368 Once his mother died, man, it changed a lot. 930 00:41:33,577 --> 00:41:36,538 He ain't even wanna be funny anymore. He was like... He was a different Dre. 931 00:41:36,747 --> 00:41:38,749 My top five. Ice-T... 932 00:41:39,082 --> 00:41:41,668 - Ice-T? - Ice motherfucking T! 933 00:41:42,669 --> 00:41:45,155 Six in the mornin' police at my door 934 00:41:45,255 --> 00:41:47,925 Fresh Adidas squeak across the bathroom floor 935 00:41:48,050 --> 00:41:50,411 We started drinking young, man, we was like 12 years old. 936 00:41:50,511 --> 00:41:53,122 We used to get O.E. cans, and cut 'em out 937 00:41:53,222 --> 00:41:54,431 and make gold teeth out of 'em. 938 00:41:54,723 --> 00:41:56,433 My sixth man's LL Cool J. 939 00:41:58,185 --> 00:42:01,188 Before the show! Before the show! 940 00:42:02,689 --> 00:42:05,884 He was funnier drunk. Everybody's funnier drunk. 941 00:42:05,984 --> 00:42:08,153 You ever see Oprah drunk? She's hysterical. 942 00:42:08,362 --> 00:42:09,805 Once he stopped drinking, 943 00:42:09,905 --> 00:42:12,433 once the nigga stopped getting oddy with the 40s, 944 00:42:12,533 --> 00:42:14,685 something was gone, like, 95% was gone. 945 00:42:14,785 --> 00:42:15,994 This nigga was bugged out. 946 00:42:16,203 --> 00:42:17,521 You think he funny now? 947 00:42:17,621 --> 00:42:19,414 You should've seen him in the pissy staircases. 948 00:42:19,623 --> 00:42:21,083 This nigga was hilarious. 949 00:42:21,416 --> 00:42:23,152 Dre, if I get married, man, 950 00:42:23,252 --> 00:42:25,529 I'm gonna do the Suge Knight speech at my wedding. 951 00:42:25,629 --> 00:42:28,991 "If y'all don't want the preacher all up in the wedding, 952 00:42:29,091 --> 00:42:32,636 "the ring boy all up in the wedding, come to Death Row!" 953 00:42:33,220 --> 00:42:34,888 Good morning, Buffalo! 954 00:42:35,389 --> 00:42:37,057 Wassup, San Antonio! 955 00:42:37,182 --> 00:42:38,934 This is not another Hammy movie. 956 00:42:39,142 --> 00:42:41,478 And it's about the Haitian revolution. 957 00:42:41,645 --> 00:42:44,314 The greatest slave rebellion of all time. 958 00:42:45,065 --> 00:42:46,733 Slave rebellion. 959 00:42:47,401 --> 00:42:48,819 It's when slaves rebel. 960 00:42:49,152 --> 00:42:51,154 Taraji P. Henson, 961 00:42:52,406 --> 00:42:54,725 Gabby Sidibe, 962 00:42:54,825 --> 00:42:56,368 Anthony Anderson. 963 00:42:57,578 --> 00:43:00,747 I play a guy named Dutty Boukman. 964 00:43:03,834 --> 00:43:04,835 Yeah. 965 00:43:05,419 --> 00:43:07,946 Well, I've been... I read up on him, 966 00:43:08,046 --> 00:43:10,883 and I've been wanting to do this movie for a long time. 967 00:43:12,718 --> 00:43:15,220 Yeah, I just found the story fascinating. 968 00:43:18,599 --> 00:43:21,376 Yeah, well, this is the kind of stuff I'm trying to get into now, 969 00:43:21,476 --> 00:43:22,811 more serious stuff. 970 00:43:25,689 --> 00:43:29,359 Yes, it's fun for the whole family. It's educational. 971 00:43:29,776 --> 00:43:31,028 Watch this dunk. 972 00:43:31,195 --> 00:43:32,429 He splits the defenders... 973 00:43:32,529 --> 00:43:33,514 And jams it home! 974 00:43:33,614 --> 00:43:36,617 Yeah, yeah. It's about the Haitian revolution. 975 00:43:37,117 --> 00:43:38,619 Yeah, the Haitian revolution 976 00:43:38,785 --> 00:43:42,331 was the largest slave uprising in the Western Hemisphere. 977 00:43:42,497 --> 00:43:44,733 Andre, I know this party's gonna be crazy, 978 00:43:44,833 --> 00:43:47,611 so if we don't get to talk to each other, make sure you call me back. 979 00:43:47,711 --> 00:43:48,654 I'll call you. 980 00:43:48,754 --> 00:43:50,380 All right, now, if my husband answers the phone, 981 00:43:50,589 --> 00:43:53,033 don't hang up, 'cause he knows what time it is. 982 00:43:53,133 --> 00:43:54,968 Now come here, give me a hug. 983 00:43:56,553 --> 00:43:59,456 Hey, Dre, stay black, nigga! Keep it one hundred! 984 00:43:59,556 --> 00:44:02,893 You heard? Don't forget where you came from, son! 985 00:44:09,149 --> 00:44:12,694 You got that "I'm texting my boyfriend" look on your face. 986 00:44:13,278 --> 00:44:14,613 What's his name? 987 00:44:16,031 --> 00:44:17,199 Brad. 988 00:44:17,866 --> 00:44:19,868 So what's he do, Brad? 989 00:44:20,160 --> 00:44:23,330 He's a D.J. He spins at Greenhouse on Monday nights. 990 00:44:23,580 --> 00:44:25,165 So, how old's he turning again? 991 00:44:25,332 --> 00:44:26,834 - Thirty. - Thirty. 992 00:44:27,209 --> 00:44:29,211 Hey, man, 30's that birthday. 993 00:44:29,545 --> 00:44:31,864 I remember when I turned 30. 30's scary. 994 00:44:31,964 --> 00:44:33,657 You know, 30's that age where you realize, 995 00:44:33,757 --> 00:44:35,759 "I gotta get my shit together. 996 00:44:36,051 --> 00:44:38,428 "I could actually become homeless." 997 00:44:38,762 --> 00:44:41,640 I mean, not Will-Smith- Pursuit-of-Happyness homeless. 998 00:44:42,516 --> 00:44:44,977 I mean, like blow-job- in-the-bus-station homeless. 999 00:44:45,227 --> 00:44:46,211 So, that's what you think? 1000 00:44:46,311 --> 00:44:49,339 He's deep in thought right now about not being homeless? 1001 00:44:49,439 --> 00:44:50,674 If he's smart. 1002 00:44:50,774 --> 00:44:52,676 If he's not, he won't think about it till he's 40. 1003 00:44:52,776 --> 00:44:53,819 Then it'll be too late. 1004 00:44:55,612 --> 00:44:57,030 - You okay? - Is everybody okay? 1005 00:44:57,364 --> 00:44:58,365 My apologies. 1006 00:44:58,490 --> 00:44:59,741 Out! Let's get out. 1007 00:44:59,908 --> 00:45:01,368 - Let's get out of here. - Gotta go. 1008 00:45:01,952 --> 00:45:03,495 What the hell? We can't just leave. 1009 00:45:03,871 --> 00:45:06,373 - Let's go, go, go. - What are you doing? 1010 00:45:07,207 --> 00:45:08,859 - Let's go! - Come on. 1011 00:45:08,959 --> 00:45:10,778 So, what, you're just leaving the scene of an accident now? 1012 00:45:10,878 --> 00:45:13,547 I didn't have an accident. My driver had an accident. 1013 00:45:13,672 --> 00:45:17,301 But if the person that hits us finds out I was in the car, then they will sue me. 1014 00:45:17,551 --> 00:45:19,303 He's right in front of me. 1015 00:45:19,636 --> 00:45:21,972 - Not now... Not now, ma'am. - I hope your dick falls off! 1016 00:45:22,097 --> 00:45:24,124 Where's Ralph at? Get him over here right now. 1017 00:45:24,224 --> 00:45:26,210 You know, if he wasn't clearing a path for you, 1018 00:45:26,310 --> 00:45:27,644 I'm sure she wouldn't even have noticed you. 1019 00:45:27,811 --> 00:45:29,021 Is he always so bodyguardy? 1020 00:45:29,229 --> 00:45:30,564 "Bodyguardy"? That's a word? 1021 00:45:30,689 --> 00:45:31,899 You know what I mean. 1022 00:45:32,107 --> 00:45:35,736 Jay-Z is seen walking around by himself all the time. 1023 00:45:35,903 --> 00:45:37,888 Yeah, but Jay-Z's got a fucking gun, okay. 1024 00:45:37,988 --> 00:45:39,406 That's Silk. That's my boy. 1025 00:45:39,907 --> 00:45:42,868 We've been together for, you know, since third grade. He's seen a lot. 1026 00:45:45,412 --> 00:45:46,747 You think it's a game? 1027 00:45:46,872 --> 00:45:49,374 I'll kill you, motherfucker! You think it's a game? 1028 00:45:52,419 --> 00:45:54,571 I'm not talking about firing him. 1029 00:45:54,671 --> 00:45:56,423 I'm just saying, this is New York, 1030 00:45:56,632 --> 00:45:58,700 and only people who wanna get paparazzi 1031 00:45:58,800 --> 00:46:00,244 roll with their bodyguard all the time. 1032 00:46:00,344 --> 00:46:02,162 But if you're too scared to talk to me one-on-one 1033 00:46:02,262 --> 00:46:04,665 without your bodyguard, your little security blanket, 1034 00:46:04,765 --> 00:46:06,141 I completely understand. 1035 00:46:06,433 --> 00:46:07,601 Hold on a second. 1036 00:46:07,851 --> 00:46:10,254 Okay, I got a new car coming. It's gonna be about an hour, though. 1037 00:46:10,354 --> 00:46:12,214 We should hop on a cab and head back over to XM, 1038 00:46:12,314 --> 00:46:13,982 and finish up all our West Coast satellite stuff. 1039 00:46:14,441 --> 00:46:15,609 You know what? 1040 00:46:15,943 --> 00:46:17,219 I'm good. 1041 00:46:17,319 --> 00:46:19,012 Just meet me over at the junket, all right? 1042 00:46:19,112 --> 00:46:20,197 What do you mean you're good? 1043 00:46:20,322 --> 00:46:21,657 Hey, Brad. It's me... 1044 00:46:21,907 --> 00:46:23,183 I'm gonna walk. 1045 00:46:23,283 --> 00:46:24,451 Outside? 1046 00:46:25,035 --> 00:46:26,036 Yeah. 1047 00:46:26,787 --> 00:46:29,690 It's a rough neighborhood, you're gonna walk around by yourself? 1048 00:46:29,790 --> 00:46:31,275 You got an interview in 20 minutes. 1049 00:46:31,375 --> 00:46:34,211 Hey, man, I'm good. Just text me the information, okay? 1050 00:46:35,295 --> 00:46:37,631 - You sure? - Yeah, I'm sure. I'm good. 1051 00:46:37,965 --> 00:46:40,968 It's supposed to rain. I got an umbrella right here. 1052 00:46:41,218 --> 00:46:42,369 I'm all right, man. 1053 00:46:42,469 --> 00:46:43,537 Silk, don't act like you don't know me. 1054 00:46:43,637 --> 00:46:45,472 - If you need me, text me! - I'll text you! 1055 00:46:45,681 --> 00:46:47,599 - What's up? - It's Angie. 1056 00:46:48,058 --> 00:46:49,726 He's scared I'm gonna need him. 1057 00:46:50,686 --> 00:46:53,856 No. He's scared you're not going to need him. 1058 00:46:54,189 --> 00:46:56,133 It's staring you right in the face, all right. 1059 00:46:56,233 --> 00:46:59,403 Every Planet of the Apes movie is about race. Every one. 1060 00:46:59,820 --> 00:47:01,805 Okay, I'm assuming you're talking about the trilogy 1061 00:47:01,905 --> 00:47:06,702 that starts off with Charlton Heston frolicking naked with a black astronaut. 1062 00:47:06,952 --> 00:47:09,413 That typical sci-fi movie that's about the future 1063 00:47:09,538 --> 00:47:11,940 and about how the human race is out of control. 1064 00:47:12,040 --> 00:47:13,567 Yeah, it's about race, but the human race. 1065 00:47:13,667 --> 00:47:16,779 No, no, no. It's about the white man's fear of a black planet. 1066 00:47:16,879 --> 00:47:18,363 The darker apes are bigger and stronger. 1067 00:47:18,463 --> 00:47:21,075 The lighter apes are smarter. That's racist bullshit. 1068 00:47:21,175 --> 00:47:23,494 Do you realize that the original Planet of the Apes 1069 00:47:23,594 --> 00:47:26,038 came out on April 3, 1968? 1070 00:47:26,138 --> 00:47:28,473 Now, we both know what happened the next day. 1071 00:47:28,640 --> 00:47:29,975 Martin Luther King was killed. 1072 00:47:42,279 --> 00:47:44,114 Why don't you just jump in? 1073 00:47:44,531 --> 00:47:48,143 You're telling me that James Earl Ray saw Planet of the Apes 1074 00:47:48,243 --> 00:47:49,770 and decided to shoot Martin Luther King? 1075 00:47:49,870 --> 00:47:50,938 Perhaps. 1076 00:47:51,038 --> 00:47:53,190 It wasn't the fact that he was organizing 1077 00:47:53,290 --> 00:47:54,817 the Poor People's March on Washington... 1078 00:47:54,917 --> 00:47:56,402 - That, too. - ...or criticizing 1079 00:47:56,502 --> 00:47:58,112 the war or our foreign policy. 1080 00:47:58,212 --> 00:48:01,298 What got him shot was talking apes! 1081 00:48:01,632 --> 00:48:03,283 Go, Hammy! Go, Hammy! 1082 00:48:03,383 --> 00:48:04,718 Go in! 1083 00:48:07,304 --> 00:48:08,472 Jump in already! 1084 00:48:08,722 --> 00:48:10,791 What I'm saying is, it's not a coincidence 1085 00:48:10,891 --> 00:48:14,378 that a movie about niggas taking over the world comes out the day before 1086 00:48:14,478 --> 00:48:18,006 the most powerful black man on earth is assassinated. 1087 00:48:18,106 --> 00:48:19,591 It's not a coincidence. It's not. 1088 00:48:19,691 --> 00:48:21,677 You actually believe that. 1089 00:48:21,777 --> 00:48:24,221 Okay, you know what? I will give it to you. 1090 00:48:24,321 --> 00:48:25,639 There are some subliminal messages in that movie. 1091 00:48:25,739 --> 00:48:26,765 Yes, there are. 1092 00:48:26,865 --> 00:48:29,560 But you know what? It's just a movie. 1093 00:48:29,660 --> 00:48:31,395 It's never... It's never just a movie. 1094 00:48:31,495 --> 00:48:32,646 Yes, sometimes it's just a movie. 1095 00:48:32,746 --> 00:48:34,706 It's never just a song! It's never just a book. 1096 00:48:35,082 --> 00:48:36,917 I don't care what Michelle Obama says. 1097 00:48:37,417 --> 00:48:38,961 I'm like, fry or die. 1098 00:48:40,170 --> 00:48:41,238 Give me some fries. 1099 00:48:41,338 --> 00:48:42,489 I thought you didn't want none. 1100 00:48:42,589 --> 00:48:44,091 Fry or die. 1101 00:48:48,512 --> 00:48:51,181 Now, do you always keep hot sauce in your bag? 1102 00:48:51,682 --> 00:48:53,350 Yeah, I like my shit hot. 1103 00:48:53,684 --> 00:48:57,020 In my apartment, I keep a bottle in every room, like smoke detectors. 1104 00:48:57,396 --> 00:49:00,774 Hammy! Hammy! Hammy! Hammy! 1105 00:49:01,024 --> 00:49:02,526 Jump in already! 1106 00:49:02,734 --> 00:49:04,236 Come on, hurry up! 1107 00:49:05,153 --> 00:49:06,238 Hey! 1108 00:49:10,868 --> 00:49:11,977 Bill Murray? 1109 00:49:12,077 --> 00:49:13,412 Bill Murray's like, 1110 00:49:13,954 --> 00:49:16,273 you know, perhaps top three 1111 00:49:16,373 --> 00:49:18,458 funniest human beings to ever walk the earth. 1112 00:49:19,042 --> 00:49:21,361 And the guy you most likely want to hang out with 1113 00:49:21,461 --> 00:49:23,447 and drop his name, like, "Yeah, I know Bill Murray. 1114 00:49:23,547 --> 00:49:24,865 "I was just talking to Bill Murray the other day." 1115 00:49:24,965 --> 00:49:27,050 - Charlie Chaplin? - Charlie Chaplin. 1116 00:49:27,301 --> 00:49:29,970 He started this shit. He's the KRS-One of comedy. 1117 00:49:31,138 --> 00:49:32,139 The KRS-One. 1118 00:49:32,264 --> 00:49:34,266 He's the Grandmaster Flash of ha-ha. 1119 00:49:34,391 --> 00:49:35,626 I don't think people actually read Capote. 1120 00:49:35,726 --> 00:49:36,835 That's one of my tests to people. 1121 00:49:36,935 --> 00:49:38,504 I say that and they're like, "Yeah, 1122 00:49:38,604 --> 00:49:41,215 "you know, I really loved Breakfast at Tiffany's." 1123 00:49:41,315 --> 00:49:43,300 And I'm like, "You haven't read Truman Capote. Stop." 1124 00:49:43,400 --> 00:49:45,469 Bill Cosby is the greatest storyteller. 1125 00:49:45,569 --> 00:49:46,929 - Richard Pryor? - Richard Pryor is like 1126 00:49:47,029 --> 00:49:48,263 the most honest human being. 1127 00:49:48,363 --> 00:49:51,141 Even Jesus didn't tell his followers everything. 1128 00:49:51,241 --> 00:49:52,309 Like Rich... 1129 00:49:52,409 --> 00:49:53,435 Eddie Murphy. 1130 00:49:53,535 --> 00:49:57,981 I once saw Murphy and Michael Jackson within two months of each other, 1131 00:49:58,081 --> 00:49:59,358 and Eddie was better. 1132 00:49:59,458 --> 00:50:00,859 - Love in the Time of Cholera. - Yes, yes. 1133 00:50:00,959 --> 00:50:04,213 And he says, "Too much love is as bad for this as no love at all." 1134 00:50:04,338 --> 00:50:05,506 That kind of broke my heart. 1135 00:50:05,631 --> 00:50:08,300 Yeah, I mean, it's hard to fuck somebody on a pedestal. 1136 00:50:23,982 --> 00:50:26,009 - Beautiful. Taraji! - Andre! 1137 00:50:26,109 --> 00:50:27,194 Gabby, over here! 1138 00:50:27,319 --> 00:50:28,887 - This way, Gabby! - Hammy, this way! 1139 00:50:28,987 --> 00:50:30,489 Andre, over to the right. 1140 00:50:30,614 --> 00:50:32,115 Big smile, Gabby. 1141 00:50:33,867 --> 00:50:35,202 Married. 1142 00:50:38,080 --> 00:50:40,415 You're getting married, huh? 1143 00:50:40,624 --> 00:50:42,125 You couldn't tell me? 1144 00:50:43,126 --> 00:50:44,862 Can I get you two to smile? 1145 00:50:44,962 --> 00:50:46,739 Thank you. Thank you very much. 1146 00:50:46,839 --> 00:50:47,840 Taraji, this way. 1147 00:50:51,885 --> 00:50:56,874 How can you keep your private life separate from your public life 1148 00:50:56,974 --> 00:50:59,251 when you're going through something this weekend 1149 00:50:59,351 --> 00:51:00,519 which combines the two? 1150 00:51:00,644 --> 00:51:05,190 Your upcoming marriage is getting more press than this movie. 1151 00:51:05,566 --> 00:51:07,593 I mean, I'm watching, like, television... 1152 00:51:07,693 --> 00:51:10,053 Everybody's talking about that. Nobody's talking about this. 1153 00:51:10,153 --> 00:51:11,388 Can we talk about the movie? 1154 00:51:11,488 --> 00:51:13,490 What kind of ratings do you think you're gonna get? 1155 00:51:13,949 --> 00:51:15,017 I was hoping for a little more comedy. 1156 00:51:15,117 --> 00:51:16,994 Okay, you got two minutes, everybody. Two minutes. 1157 00:51:17,286 --> 00:51:18,645 Do you think they only wanna see you... 1158 00:51:18,745 --> 00:51:21,273 You maybe stereotyped yourself and, you know, 1159 00:51:21,373 --> 00:51:23,166 that people don't wanna accept you in a serious role? 1160 00:51:23,375 --> 00:51:24,710 We want to see you funny. 1161 00:51:25,335 --> 00:51:28,197 I already told you. I ain't got time for your bullshit, Silk. 1162 00:51:28,297 --> 00:51:29,423 I'm seeing somebody. 1163 00:51:29,840 --> 00:51:31,925 Hey, no problem. Come on. 1164 00:51:32,759 --> 00:51:34,511 If you don't get the fuck out my face... 1165 00:51:37,723 --> 00:51:39,016 How do you think it went? 1166 00:51:40,100 --> 00:51:42,853 The press was all over the place. I'm just glad they showed up. 1167 00:51:42,978 --> 00:51:45,756 I mean, honestly, the most important thing right now 1168 00:51:45,856 --> 00:51:47,508 is that people come out and see the movie. 1169 00:51:47,608 --> 00:51:48,926 You mean, the most important thing isn't 1170 00:51:49,026 --> 00:51:50,469 the "Wedding Spectacular Spectacular"? 1171 00:51:50,569 --> 00:51:51,904 I did not say that. 1172 00:51:52,487 --> 00:51:53,847 Okay, so you don't wanna be funny. 1173 00:51:53,947 --> 00:51:55,182 Excuse me. 1174 00:51:55,282 --> 00:51:56,950 So, you don't wanna make funny movies anymore. 1175 00:51:58,118 --> 00:52:00,687 And they don't want to take your "serious" seriously. 1176 00:52:00,787 --> 00:52:01,788 I'm sorry. 1177 00:52:02,122 --> 00:52:05,375 So why not embrace the wedding spectacle? 1178 00:52:06,043 --> 00:52:09,505 I'm a guy, come on. I didn't grow up dreaming of a wedding. 1179 00:52:09,713 --> 00:52:12,491 There's no Grooms magazine. They don't have a groomal registry. 1180 00:52:12,591 --> 00:52:14,368 Weddings aren't for guys. 1181 00:52:14,468 --> 00:52:16,929 I'm not talking about guys. I'm talking about you. 1182 00:52:17,054 --> 00:52:18,889 Why don't you embrace it? 1183 00:52:19,056 --> 00:52:21,183 If you hate it so much, why are you even doing it? 1184 00:52:22,684 --> 00:52:24,603 Erica helped me get clean. 1185 00:52:30,067 --> 00:52:31,693 I don't have time for this, Dre. 1186 00:52:32,903 --> 00:52:34,696 I'm not gonna be your audience. 1187 00:52:37,199 --> 00:52:38,575 "I'm not gonna be your audience"? 1188 00:52:38,909 --> 00:52:40,786 Audience to my bullshit. 1189 00:52:42,412 --> 00:52:44,164 If you don't have an audience, it's hard to put on a show. 1190 00:52:46,291 --> 00:52:47,459 Brad? 1191 00:52:47,626 --> 00:52:49,920 Hey. 1192 00:52:50,379 --> 00:52:52,756 - Happy birthday. Oh, my God. - Thank you. 1193 00:52:54,091 --> 00:52:56,076 How are you? I tried calling you all day. I was so worried. 1194 00:52:56,176 --> 00:52:58,954 Yeah, yeah... No, I'm fine, I'm fine. I was just in meetings. 1195 00:52:59,054 --> 00:53:00,430 Hey, Andre Allen! 1196 00:53:00,722 --> 00:53:02,182 Hey! White Brad! 1197 00:53:02,432 --> 00:53:03,433 Happy birthday. 1198 00:53:03,559 --> 00:53:05,769 Thank you, man. I cannot wait to see the movie. 1199 00:53:06,061 --> 00:53:08,355 I'm so glad somebody's finally telling Boukman's story. 1200 00:53:08,480 --> 00:53:10,482 I mean, no one talks about the Maroon slaves. 1201 00:53:10,607 --> 00:53:12,192 I know, they're so overlooked. 1202 00:53:12,484 --> 00:53:13,819 - It's crazy. - It's crazy. 1203 00:53:14,152 --> 00:53:17,155 Okay, so what have you been doing all day? 1204 00:53:17,281 --> 00:53:19,783 Well, it's my birthday. You know, I've been treating myself. 1205 00:53:20,534 --> 00:53:23,312 Went uptown, did a little shopping, didn't find anything. 1206 00:53:23,412 --> 00:53:24,788 What are you doing here? 1207 00:53:25,497 --> 00:53:26,940 I just was, like, going to check out 1208 00:53:27,040 --> 00:53:29,068 the gift shop. 'Cause you never know... 1209 00:53:29,168 --> 00:53:30,169 Is that Ryan? 1210 00:53:31,170 --> 00:53:32,504 Yeah, Ryan's here. 1211 00:53:32,880 --> 00:53:33,864 Hey, Ryan! 1212 00:53:33,964 --> 00:53:36,158 Ryan, look who I ran into. 1213 00:53:36,258 --> 00:53:38,302 Hey, Chelsea. How's it going, guys? 1214 00:53:39,803 --> 00:53:41,597 I'm also here because Ryan, 1215 00:53:42,222 --> 00:53:44,208 was just showing me the lounge here 1216 00:53:44,308 --> 00:53:46,018 because he knows the manager of the hotel 1217 00:53:46,143 --> 00:53:48,604 and he's thinking maybe I could be spinning here soon, so... 1218 00:53:49,146 --> 00:53:50,981 And that's why you couldn't contact me? 1219 00:53:51,523 --> 00:53:55,819 My phone is, like, going nuts lately. 1220 00:53:55,986 --> 00:53:58,238 I don't know what's going on. I'm changing plans. 1221 00:53:59,990 --> 00:54:02,117 Is he wearing the shirt that I bought you? 1222 00:54:02,951 --> 00:54:04,953 I have to go. 1223 00:54:07,206 --> 00:54:08,357 Look, I was gonna call you, okay? 1224 00:54:08,457 --> 00:54:10,792 How much longer are you guys gonna be doing this thing? 1225 00:54:12,294 --> 00:54:14,129 I think you should go after him. 1226 00:54:38,987 --> 00:54:40,697 Look, it's Hammy! 1227 00:54:47,871 --> 00:54:49,498 Hey! Hey, hey, hey! 1228 00:54:50,040 --> 00:54:51,458 Hey, you okay? 1229 00:54:52,709 --> 00:54:54,211 Yeah. No. 1230 00:54:54,753 --> 00:54:55,879 I'm... 1231 00:54:56,338 --> 00:54:58,757 I'm going to call my sponsor, okay? I'm sorry. 1232 00:54:59,508 --> 00:55:01,285 Just because he had a room key 1233 00:55:01,385 --> 00:55:03,620 and was wearing a shirt you bought Brad, 1234 00:55:03,720 --> 00:55:05,581 that doesn't mean anything. 1235 00:55:05,681 --> 00:55:09,184 I mean, guys trade clothes in hotel rooms all the time. 1236 00:55:09,560 --> 00:55:11,395 Maybe it was chilly, you know what I mean? 1237 00:55:11,562 --> 00:55:14,231 Maybe they called up each other... "Hey, man, I'm freezing." 1238 00:55:14,648 --> 00:55:15,632 "Me, too. 1239 00:55:15,732 --> 00:55:19,152 "Why don't you meet me at a hotel so we can switch clothes?" 1240 00:55:19,653 --> 00:55:23,949 Kelly? Can I... I need to talk to you. Please. Thank you. 1241 00:55:25,909 --> 00:55:27,077 Great. 1242 00:55:27,244 --> 00:55:30,455 I can say I've dated every race, and now I've dated gay. 1243 00:55:31,123 --> 00:55:32,249 Asian? 1244 00:55:32,583 --> 00:55:33,917 Yes, Asian. 1245 00:55:34,877 --> 00:55:36,837 Karate Asian or nerdy Asian? 1246 00:55:37,129 --> 00:55:39,590 Asian-Asian. You know, there's a billion Chinese. 1247 00:55:39,715 --> 00:55:42,926 I think it's proven that their dicks work. Yeah. 1248 00:55:43,468 --> 00:55:45,721 I've dated married. I've had a girlfriend. 1249 00:55:46,305 --> 00:55:47,639 Two girlfriends. 1250 00:55:47,806 --> 00:55:52,186 Okay, so you can go all k.d. lang, but if he's with one guy, he's gay. 1251 00:55:52,394 --> 00:55:53,921 Whatever, I don't make up the rules. Who cares? 1252 00:55:54,021 --> 00:55:55,898 It's not about that. That's not the point. 1253 00:55:56,106 --> 00:55:58,817 You know, stuff like this doesn't come out of the blue. 1254 00:55:59,568 --> 00:56:01,737 There must have been some sort of sign. 1255 00:56:02,446 --> 00:56:03,614 I'm not gonna tell you. 1256 00:56:03,780 --> 00:56:05,616 - Come on, tell me something. - I'm not telling you. 1257 00:56:06,158 --> 00:56:08,994 Come on, Teen Mom. Let it out. 1258 00:56:13,624 --> 00:56:15,626 Okay, so we had a normal sex life. 1259 00:56:21,131 --> 00:56:23,467 Then one day, out of the blue... 1260 00:56:23,926 --> 00:56:25,244 Put a finger in my ass. 1261 00:56:25,344 --> 00:56:26,578 You know, I'd never done that before. 1262 00:56:26,678 --> 00:56:28,831 I didn't want to do it. Like, this was not my thing, 1263 00:56:28,931 --> 00:56:30,249 and luckily, no one had ever asked me before, 1264 00:56:30,349 --> 00:56:31,475 so it never really came up. 1265 00:56:32,142 --> 00:56:33,435 But he asked me. 1266 00:56:33,810 --> 00:56:36,104 And then my grandmamma popped into my brain. 1267 00:56:36,647 --> 00:56:38,982 Whatever he wants you to do 1268 00:56:39,149 --> 00:56:40,317 you better do it. 1269 00:56:40,484 --> 00:56:42,819 Or some other bitch will. 1270 00:56:43,028 --> 00:56:44,363 I like your grandma. 1271 00:56:44,863 --> 00:56:47,741 So I did it and he liked it. 1272 00:56:50,244 --> 00:56:52,162 Oh, yes. That's it. 1273 00:56:52,287 --> 00:56:54,039 - Like that? - Yeah, yeah. 1274 00:56:54,164 --> 00:56:56,917 In a weird way, I was happy to be doing something he liked. 1275 00:56:57,084 --> 00:56:59,545 But then he wanted it all the time. Everywhere. 1276 00:57:00,170 --> 00:57:01,380 On a plane. 1277 00:57:01,505 --> 00:57:03,157 Go another knuck. Knuck it up, girl. 1278 00:57:03,257 --> 00:57:04,675 - Knuck it up. - Yeah? Yeah? 1279 00:57:08,720 --> 00:57:10,247 At my friend's party. 1280 00:57:10,347 --> 00:57:12,099 Yes, yes, yes! 1281 00:57:12,432 --> 00:57:15,602 What's my motherfuckin' name? Jigga! 1282 00:57:17,020 --> 00:57:18,605 Pretty soon, that's all he wanted. 1283 00:57:18,897 --> 00:57:22,593 So one night, we're at dinner with Ryan and his "girlfriend." 1284 00:57:22,693 --> 00:57:24,428 So, Chels, you've been looking for a place, right? 1285 00:57:24,528 --> 00:57:25,596 What's been going on with that? 1286 00:57:25,696 --> 00:57:30,158 Yeah. I'd like to buy a house, you know, but everything's still so expensive. 1287 00:57:30,367 --> 00:57:32,035 I thought the market was down. 1288 00:57:32,327 --> 00:57:33,662 Babe, are you kidding? 1289 00:57:33,871 --> 00:57:37,374 With your credit, you couldn't get a loan if Bill Gates cosigned it. 1290 00:57:39,209 --> 00:57:40,460 Good one! 1291 00:57:41,628 --> 00:57:43,964 Hey, Alexa, how's your place down in Costa Rica doing? 1292 00:57:44,339 --> 00:57:46,466 Wait a second. You got a place in Costa Rica? 1293 00:57:46,675 --> 00:57:49,453 I felt completely humiliated, but it was, you know, just let it go. 1294 00:57:49,553 --> 00:57:51,388 It's not a big deal. You know, you're bigger than that. 1295 00:57:51,680 --> 00:57:52,790 You got a babysitter. 1296 00:57:52,890 --> 00:57:54,558 We can have make-up sex. It's gonna be fine. 1297 00:58:07,571 --> 00:58:09,056 What? What? 1298 00:58:09,156 --> 00:58:10,657 I have to go to the bathroom. 1299 00:58:10,866 --> 00:58:13,243 Okay. All right, go, go, go. Go. 1300 00:58:23,587 --> 00:58:26,924 I think it's dance night, baby. You ready? 1301 00:58:29,134 --> 00:58:30,469 You know I am. 1302 00:58:32,262 --> 00:58:33,889 Come give Papa what he needs. 1303 00:58:35,682 --> 00:58:37,851 I looked at his ass, just stuck up in the air. 1304 00:58:38,101 --> 00:58:40,646 And I thought about what he did. 1305 00:58:41,396 --> 00:58:42,731 Good one! 1306 00:58:47,319 --> 00:58:49,613 If Bill Gates cosigned you. 1307 00:58:49,947 --> 00:58:52,783 I don't know, something just snapped. 1308 00:58:54,451 --> 00:58:57,162 I reached into my purse and pulled out a tampon. 1309 00:58:57,746 --> 00:58:59,081 Then I pulled out my hot sauce. 1310 00:58:59,456 --> 00:59:00,457 No, no! 1311 00:59:01,625 --> 00:59:02,960 Don't say it! 1312 00:59:03,627 --> 00:59:04,795 And I... 1313 00:59:04,920 --> 00:59:05,963 Don't say it! 1314 00:59:06,088 --> 00:59:07,297 I shoved it up his ass. 1315 00:59:09,925 --> 00:59:11,635 What is that? 1316 00:59:15,264 --> 00:59:16,206 Yup. 1317 00:59:16,306 --> 00:59:18,058 Why? Why? 1318 00:59:18,559 --> 00:59:21,144 Why are you doing this to me? Take it out of here now! 1319 00:59:21,311 --> 00:59:23,939 Hey, smartass, I don't hear you laughing now! 1320 00:59:29,945 --> 00:59:31,905 He's such an asshole! 1321 00:59:33,448 --> 00:59:34,700 What are we doing? 1322 00:59:50,924 --> 00:59:54,386 You know, Grace really loves him. Like, a lot. 1323 00:59:55,554 --> 00:59:57,347 And then he's just gonna be gone. 1324 01:00:00,893 --> 01:00:02,561 What am I supposed to tell her? 1325 01:00:03,145 --> 01:00:04,897 Just tell her the truth. 1326 01:00:05,480 --> 01:00:08,734 I mean, you don't want her to think she's supposed to stay with some guy 1327 01:00:09,109 --> 01:00:11,069 out of some false sense of obligation. 1328 01:00:11,987 --> 01:00:14,114 She's gonna see her mom fall down 1329 01:00:14,323 --> 01:00:17,034 and then she's gonna see her mom pick herself back up. 1330 01:00:17,534 --> 01:00:20,204 No, what she's going to see is her mom 1331 01:00:20,329 --> 01:00:24,249 having paraded yet another dude through the house who's a loser! 1332 01:00:33,675 --> 01:00:36,178 Oh, my God. My favorite. 1333 01:00:36,553 --> 01:00:37,930 My favorite. 1334 01:00:43,268 --> 01:00:44,561 You're right. 1335 01:00:45,521 --> 01:00:48,982 I'm just going to have to start the process again 1336 01:00:49,107 --> 01:00:50,943 of vetting another dick. 1337 01:00:52,653 --> 01:00:54,947 You're not gonna have a hard time meeting anybody, come on. 1338 01:00:55,447 --> 01:00:57,641 I mean, you're smart, you're beautiful. 1339 01:00:57,741 --> 01:00:59,643 I'm really not fishing for compliments right now. 1340 01:00:59,743 --> 01:01:01,286 No, no. I'm serious. 1341 01:01:01,745 --> 01:01:02,996 I am, too. 1342 01:01:03,163 --> 01:01:04,498 You're beautiful. 1343 01:01:05,582 --> 01:01:06,917 You know that, right? 1344 01:01:08,794 --> 01:01:10,462 Can we get out of here? 1345 01:01:17,553 --> 01:01:20,222 What happened after that? What, you just went to brunch after that? 1346 01:01:20,722 --> 01:01:24,376 Yes, as a matter of fact. We didn't even talk about it. 1347 01:01:24,476 --> 01:01:27,337 I thought we were breaking up, but apparently not, you know. 1348 01:01:27,437 --> 01:01:28,922 And that's why I've been feeling so guilty, 1349 01:01:29,022 --> 01:01:30,257 and texting him and calling him all day 1350 01:01:30,357 --> 01:01:31,800 and trying to figure out what to do with his birthday. 1351 01:01:31,900 --> 01:01:33,510 Come on, he's not gonna break up over that. 1352 01:01:33,610 --> 01:01:34,595 Why not? 1353 01:01:34,695 --> 01:01:36,305 'Cause what's he supposed to tell people? 1354 01:01:36,405 --> 01:01:38,223 "Yeah, we broke up 'cause my girlfriend 1355 01:01:38,323 --> 01:01:40,434 "shoved a red hot chili pepper up my ass." 1356 01:01:40,534 --> 01:01:41,602 No, no, no. 1357 01:01:41,702 --> 01:01:44,855 He's gonna wait to do something like cheat on you or hit you. 1358 01:01:44,955 --> 01:01:46,565 You know, like, a nice respectable break-up. 1359 01:01:46,665 --> 01:01:48,567 - Hit me? Hit me? - Not... 1360 01:01:48,667 --> 01:01:50,961 Something respectable like cheat on me or hit me. 1361 01:01:51,336 --> 01:01:53,864 So basically, what you're saying is that you're taking his side. 1362 01:01:53,964 --> 01:01:55,574 - I'm not taking his side. I mean... - Awesome. 1363 01:01:55,674 --> 01:01:57,451 - Clearly you are. - Come on. Come on. 1364 01:01:57,551 --> 01:01:58,619 You're saying it's my fault. 1365 01:01:58,719 --> 01:02:00,537 I can't believe you didn't see this shit. 1366 01:02:00,637 --> 01:02:02,414 I mean, he was wrong, okay? He was wrong. 1367 01:02:02,514 --> 01:02:04,641 But he wasn't burning-ass wrong. 1368 01:02:05,017 --> 01:02:07,811 See, that's why I didn't want to tell you. 1369 01:02:07,978 --> 01:02:10,422 I open up to you and you laugh at me. 1370 01:02:10,522 --> 01:02:12,341 - It's funny. - It's not funny! 1371 01:02:12,441 --> 01:02:14,176 What's funny about being cheated on? 1372 01:02:14,276 --> 01:02:16,470 Come on. If you think this is just about cheating, 1373 01:02:16,570 --> 01:02:18,447 then you're very naive. 1374 01:02:19,406 --> 01:02:21,617 Naive? I'm naive? 1375 01:02:22,951 --> 01:02:26,288 Mr. "The network picks out my rings." 1376 01:02:26,496 --> 01:02:29,733 Mr. "I owe somebody a wedding." 1377 01:02:29,833 --> 01:02:30,818 I'm naive? 1378 01:02:30,918 --> 01:02:33,404 Okay, first of all, you don't know me... 1379 01:02:33,504 --> 01:02:34,488 You know "naive" well. 1380 01:02:34,588 --> 01:02:38,909 Miss "I used my boyfriend's ass as a hand puppet." Yeah, yeah. 1381 01:02:39,009 --> 01:02:42,079 I don't need to know you to know that something is wrong. 1382 01:02:42,179 --> 01:02:44,014 Why do you even care, okay? 1383 01:02:44,139 --> 01:02:45,807 Why don't you care? 1384 01:02:46,099 --> 01:02:47,851 Can we just talk about my movie? 1385 01:02:48,519 --> 01:02:50,687 Fuck your shitty movie! 1386 01:03:10,457 --> 01:03:11,708 We should stop. 1387 01:03:12,543 --> 01:03:13,544 What the fuck are we doing? 1388 01:03:16,380 --> 01:03:17,714 We gotta get out of here. 1389 01:03:18,131 --> 01:03:19,383 Yes. 1390 01:03:20,342 --> 01:03:22,553 - But first... - What? 1391 01:03:22,678 --> 01:03:24,680 You gotta get your hands out my pants. 1392 01:03:25,264 --> 01:03:27,291 You gotta get your hands out of my pants. 1393 01:03:27,391 --> 01:03:29,226 - You first. - You first. 1394 01:03:30,936 --> 01:03:32,212 Okay, on three. 1395 01:03:32,312 --> 01:03:34,006 Okay. At the same time. 1396 01:03:34,106 --> 01:03:35,466 - Same time. - Okay. 1397 01:03:35,566 --> 01:03:37,150 Same time, motherfucker. 1398 01:03:37,734 --> 01:03:39,236 One, 1399 01:03:39,486 --> 01:03:40,863 two, 1400 01:03:42,573 --> 01:03:43,699 three. 1401 01:03:48,203 --> 01:03:49,872 Goddamn. 1402 01:03:53,208 --> 01:03:54,334 Okay. 1403 01:03:59,923 --> 01:04:01,800 We should get out of here? 1404 01:04:03,760 --> 01:04:05,996 Yeah, yeah, but you go first. 1405 01:04:06,096 --> 01:04:08,724 We can't get out of here at the same time. 1406 01:04:10,350 --> 01:04:11,894 Okay, I mean, you know... 1407 01:04:13,061 --> 01:04:15,063 Remember, nothing happened, right? 1408 01:04:15,439 --> 01:04:17,007 Yeah, like, just because we didn't fuck 1409 01:04:17,107 --> 01:04:18,467 it doesn't mean that we didn't fuck around. 1410 01:04:18,567 --> 01:04:22,863 So you go first and then I'll come out in a couple seconds. A couple minutes. 1411 01:04:24,114 --> 01:04:26,433 Okay, so I'm going to get out of here. 1412 01:04:26,533 --> 01:04:28,285 - Okay. - I gotta make a call anyway. 1413 01:04:30,245 --> 01:04:33,415 Shit, my phone's dead. I gotta call fucking London. 1414 01:04:35,626 --> 01:04:37,002 Here, use mine. 1415 01:04:37,794 --> 01:04:38,795 Okay. 1416 01:04:41,965 --> 01:04:43,300 Code, 1999. 1417 01:04:43,634 --> 01:04:44,843 Thanks. 1418 01:04:49,056 --> 01:04:50,207 Yo, yo, Silk. 1419 01:04:50,307 --> 01:04:51,750 You're Hammy the Bear! 1420 01:04:51,850 --> 01:04:55,187 Yeah, yeah, have him pick me up at the Coffee Shop. 1421 01:04:55,312 --> 01:04:56,647 Yeah, Union Square. 1422 01:04:57,272 --> 01:04:59,191 Two iced coffees! 1423 01:05:03,987 --> 01:05:05,322 Hammy! 1424 01:05:22,464 --> 01:05:24,466 Hammy, I love you, man! 1425 01:05:45,028 --> 01:05:46,780 What the fuck? 1426 01:05:47,239 --> 01:05:49,575 Chelsea is James Nielson? 1427 01:05:50,033 --> 01:05:53,161 Why, 'cause your boy James Nielson said he wouldn't watch my next movie 1428 01:05:53,287 --> 01:05:54,663 if it was playing in his glasses? 1429 01:05:55,038 --> 01:05:56,290 James. 1430 01:06:04,173 --> 01:06:05,883 I love you, Andre! 1431 01:06:07,551 --> 01:06:08,677 Andre! 1432 01:06:09,303 --> 01:06:11,388 Oh, my God, it's Andre Allen! 1433 01:06:12,139 --> 01:0y ^g)E^4;ݔEPCQsCb} `\Gz.*$N֘1=jXXGhUgw _ܻP43x8*G P yB˟o*P|$s;c~v?ch\ ;<şkl1~9ky2j俶po@ܩŸx KknUx1w5rL=#vο]8g qk:4XoGvDXS9 rƇ+sr/RCVcY%.uB"BAGʕ4M>U ̂,6R^PBmJ5gH kk}7A]OX*-h~g6lOTd4u/LS3[[NF'e"/ezK|`TbO;]8_NSwfsZ lΊڍW; %3ڳvćtCu@#Y5(B ߞZHDOA7YYv!\if;w.?̵k>g2n!)>`1E 㱭f Q0oza` f2eÕZxÄˏ΋ϡ+T.{p*r٦Q$+=Sq~R+F}H@{8wQ2]wΝY '7l߆2l zPn>5ٌKߒD5 4d]#{OA3h/X~]E 1ڭH\LQ;c)=P_dw$2o5`i4%2/\kwct?=p Y[0VXRoVK(nxSi#ঢ়NOZDTI]gnaLQBE^z8q5-i 0N{;$ayWdy^RX8  3@fߟD<X3(g?xv.[dBC\TYɳjPr$tt?[ .#}ߞ[d~#G̝k)./UzڒkCHD6\K͢䦢Et~qH=PA- dז3=ݹ>Cn8Tﯞr+$HRB1l7졍k*}yU~̯8M ?p1G2,uow17)5TEWVTU0`7Zy&4nbo"/ju`OkMgadg #TGHuY9&;]H?0X3{"UڿZQ-G ^$Q |_ImQ+~#*fR^?U?9[` {1Τ 07mS_ǓgOywo2rї^-_'+o[4YP5o +gَ jV 5ȤDS$Me,[ފH1 P\mh4*iq}SdiJl+4X':r?)%)_\Pp>xhe(sPN+vP;W/+U><'겷ώ0%"]'l}u; x>?}{x*~I;ڰ`eʓPpdz^Nϣ/5w6gƑtN)>([ўAs9#MUXP~\u.?[HaGwkɋol?XQ=˗jq=PFpA6ΐ~+ű )aw#a|UOn.S*?[ÝlL>5t'bX0=$Yx3錠A)$椩) MY] \vsVy&!.܂W5JzzB5FRf'|޳w@79rkCoUQ4 +&>ajBBCp: w |m;s "_>:Le$ `9/ ʶ1 'cƔEQG7c>(mky.o=nEP+y^ Afp[-a+sZ)2κ%1g\+iYC9ܩ)L'-fz!A@ݺĮشݣkՑk~f! 1ɕWkI&5ggL-qdk0W9 E0:T#[@w@߅h,G0`ctnuI ʫ2 YtZayyw챨o`Aicu:_ OM4ɤ^*]~{fַL le֛ 0M"{Ð<;eQuOBuYfw9 T|+]ْPRA0F#bssM5gl|sL8dmu侥+qV`Rg; CøVkts{Kțͣ䩨 ~?Wn!nOV䴛>p UZ~|0yVLs.PblR6FHQ˚>YKTiLƲH)a:,#nޓm:qj)>y “;=f7[NVvQXcι]DH m@U2Jk'b;àuTʃ/|J4cd5.ɋ>Gw~m3T[ITo[|eXv#)a_㍹EI< i\W #FHSa٠N\EK+ ^G(nRn$TݥyK8 q}UW6ihcups﫛 5DC׷|E^4@޴;ygP[OFO`a"b;6?~`*oC2G%ȜS:w/Ivc}̆A2t#4j_'ccn8Cg" D~݊<fw$D)24PB"cU7&tlơsOx4jM1:)o/v7oe~Fnr[U+@xHly`Lv o=>_ gk֊tWqze![*hH%*LΕf-)I̼Ey D&؊6Pr~{C8uNKAۥ:cjXx6J }:[G7yTUҸ c  ^UXA a慾$}β%\PJ Z2hIƗU2:to݇cYgP7ka;@8~_]+3 І-c!8APփPFQS)V5{) x?om +z'.H {hM)&A=*Z&I~@uC+܃^釾9✏֤' sd}|GJZ&R!OhPC:j˜E@k1vFʇJ ;*>cZk8%9+,P\ۓ-GjcDZ[srrMW+q8g/8!Lp@#㤹'y5ĵU"M6THrJQFYvbAydw?̊@Mm#忳{`Ne~y10 J_ jx [#J0/(~2UH=]1Cm77s( ʙvt1IqO(IKF8JF_;3^绅ℶ((.imՕ&wtIe.JVZ 㞰<(.Lg'CҡJhy/dcd.}͸SpFH$b^:8-iPϜURT@ ubm3@oVfL{ o .oCQeKH104lDŽכ4-_x$ Ze3Q8+]Ɠ:X7Qx'02m~ݵ"\7H:3=6 (8 PԮ Ҕ0_AdzG 1KQ2.Rg^9e,)=] 0LӖ)~/8Nvf`$p6e'OW!!G$Ţ} [MUV4j)rQ˃)"yD䰋5rXiK&` ܏fq^67Y4[K+iX> &ƍ͓Gs{G>ŰfxR7;2c*3jfر}fIR-QǤv;vB{|`:O/w2?(O@XB\ul`m>yF~J&IBk^PN!?9IV 16zG3 [RTHeƻx4TW.\t_z-gk=ZSef"bД,44&s]USwkW -sog(BžpKq9V=wٵWVX'Fk(H/XQZNKiwv n-sr3L9 LD0]5aNS]JGį~=@ AnE \{BƱcgX7-~^\:)Bܺ#s~J鲝d~+;Z10@ @'Kg>U7z_ɩ̻&hJ ro:B#Fm#k s*>>(~ƽZPñzsL6bo,/v{7D7^gH+%Ed:H[.S1(sr̞:\́` mWrKPel1XԍϘH NZOis=~Lj4y\Z9oGawae5xHު̈́d{]AqggRH3}[cټ!Ӌ0ʷS_YnHZ8c$wgȂ-:hbDN65<}}@nژ]1XjϨ9c+r@Ffjj(ŭiV=`"[KhVYxނBfDqĭA])E&wrGLuyYJSIҦ,ӌu44Q6jaǪjf"6g(}\W&}ٟ@s+h8Aš~X<.\y r1.Q&<HЀ=zTA_RһAc֯bҕ H KV:%ׄWDRqM@98:@oNʘg o"ͮ7ˤX# 3^8j% TqV&a ={˱/!tUK1IzhR&y[*n}IMm{^JADjja-Q׭~ aT4Zj3-ɦaeE0/m.^9mI06l cM9+M D+j-~G8$AtYYfƚ 9OŽXn e-eX. +dӢd=!\AP ?3EK cqXN8+y̟+i8*<[T25UG:vYa7`6M/p @f3`^'^Qf$8z}温ub&ca9ޫC#Qu3` =1ڕT/QB nv!?W 6*wN A_)ܬߐ`4: S\Qqk?[ iJS{%\=+jxyr9s镶gR]`;5VTS?CE ىDQŪgrQ3is5tMh>0+il^2X fU@蓉hfGB\~$% , c!Fl -.c?<<$elNW~P1w"Np$dby*?d`cg[S~%_$AO_ᖰ@-T i͡pNHpiv !5fUQ7bw+b]qQ;a1)PC|\I0T[dR+ WqI#K9eǶ{gs5G"6ó8QOYLpO/-0׹8"~Q'6!7;_ k+wpue SLZ&#rԅ])z N}7` mY{FkΏ?|^ʁWΨՐ5KGC^|s' xyp=^:*Fڌ&7^fdŃ0qsPM7"cZ8*:65~Eky&uOm )ͪ6--{H6g2@FmӐ6O}eM/IuHp`,kt/JI3H.VeĊ`x8{u }#^jNTai!>dbC. } p&{ n1%pfZLvE,"ՂqTc iY7\!gE1͒?l/K%~gl0:vGW"辕&Xp-`Y‹LA4>GAMi>D5옭p@R\*ttxk)u@Mw]|_^sQ6! 1-> !ڋWIܩJ\2 7w}{FuCnǹ72 +od6u5F>.4pBjqo6d,Yy~, =fh)#`W2Xee ڂRZq򾘄<nNM1иL+,t7G ﬣ Y:XР@8k8һG6]Lf9M+y'ʬ'.? 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