1
00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:12,074
Play one of the best new FPS shooters,
search Steam for PROJECT WARLOCK
2
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This is Zero One Alpha.
We have secured Falcon.
3
00:01:42,760 --> 00:01:45,604
I say again, we have secured Falcon.
4
00:02:04,600 --> 00:02:06,364
Grenade! Sir, get back!
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Shit.
6
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Fucking missed it.
7
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How did I fucking miss it?
8
00:02:28,440 --> 00:02:32,684
Merlin, I apologize for putting
you in this position.
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You trained him well.
10
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James...
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training is over.
12
00:02:42,440 --> 00:02:44,442
Welcome to Kingsman.
13
00:02:44,960 --> 00:02:46,246
Lancelot.
14
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Sir.
15
00:02:50,720 --> 00:02:54,770
I'll deal with this mess personally.
16
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I very much regret that your husband's
bravery can't be publicly celebrated.
17
00:03:03,280 --> 00:03:04,406
I hope you understand.
18
00:03:04,560 --> 00:03:06,085
How can I understand?
19
00:03:06,240 --> 00:03:08,242
You won't tell me anything.
20
00:03:09,120 --> 00:03:11,600
I didn't even know
he wasn't with his squad.
21
00:03:11,760 --> 00:03:12,966
I'm so sorry, I can't say more.
22
00:03:14,640 --> 00:03:16,449
But I would like to present you
with this Medal of Valor...
23
00:03:16,600 --> 00:03:20,969
and if you look closely on the back,
there's a number.
24
00:03:21,320 --> 00:03:23,846
And as a more concrete gesture
of our gratitude...
25
00:03:24,000 --> 00:03:25,923
we'd like to offer you...
26
00:03:27,280 --> 00:03:28,441
Let's call it a favor.
27
00:03:28,640 --> 00:03:30,130
The nature of it is your choice.
28
00:03:30,280 --> 00:03:31,645
Just tell the operator...
29
00:03:32,120 --> 00:03:35,522
"oxfords not brogues,"
and then I'll know it's you.
30
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I don't want your help!
31
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I want my husband back!
32
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What's your name, young man?
33
00:03:51,680 --> 00:03:52,522
Eggsy
34
00:03:52,760 --> 00:03:54,125
Hello, Eggsy
35
00:03:55,120 --> 00:03:56,531
Can I see that?
36
00:04:03,320 --> 00:04:05,288
You take care of this, Eggsy.
37
00:04:06,280 --> 00:04:07,691
All right?
38
00:04:11,680 --> 00:04:13,205
And take care of your mum, too.
39
00:04:54,040 --> 00:04:57,726
So sorry, Professor Arnold.
Just a tiny bit more.
40
00:04:57,880 --> 00:05:00,406
For God's sakes, just rip it off.
41
00:05:00,560 --> 00:05:04,087
I'm under very strict instructions
not to hurt you.
42
00:05:04,280 --> 00:05:06,521
Look, you've made a mistake.
43
00:05:06,680 --> 00:05:09,445
I'm a university lecturer.
I've got no money.
44
00:05:09,600 --> 00:05:11,090
This isn't about money.
45
00:05:11,240 --> 00:05:13,208
Our boss just wants to talk to you.
46
00:05:13,440 --> 00:05:15,283
Am I meant to find that reassuring?
47
00:05:15,440 --> 00:05:17,568
He'll be here soon. He'll explain.
48
00:05:18,720 --> 00:05:20,370
Do you like whiskey?
49
00:05:21,040 --> 00:05:23,771
Red, get the '62 Dalmore.
50
00:05:25,080 --> 00:05:28,129
Honestly, this whiskey, it's amazing.
51
00:05:28,440 --> 00:05:30,249
You will shit.
52
00:05:49,760 --> 00:05:52,923
I suppose asking to borrow
a cup of sugar is a step too far?
53
00:06:15,840 --> 00:06:19,811
Professor Arnold,
I'm here to take you home.
54
00:06:30,600 --> 00:06:32,443
1962 Dalmore.
55
00:06:32,840 --> 00:06:34,683
It'd be a sin to spill any.
56
00:06:35,440 --> 00:06:36,805
Don't you think?
57
00:07:17,720 --> 00:07:19,688
Can you hold these? Please?
58
00:07:33,960 --> 00:07:34,882
Thank you.
59
00:07:41,600 --> 00:07:43,568
Everything is clean.
60
00:07:49,280 --> 00:07:52,045
My kind of welcome.
61
00:07:59,440 --> 00:08:01,568
No stomach for violence.
62
00:08:01,720 --> 00:08:03,643
I mean, literally,
I see one drop of blood...
63
00:08:03,800 --> 00:08:05,723
that is me done.
64
00:08:05,920 --> 00:08:07,081
I'm like...
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projectile.
66
00:08:08,720 --> 00:08:10,927
Listen, I'm so sorry...
67
00:08:11,080 --> 00:08:16,450
you had to witness all this unpleasantness
due to our uninvited guest.
68
00:08:16,640 --> 00:08:20,770
But I promise you, by the time
I've found out who he works for...
69
00:08:20,920 --> 00:08:25,244
you and I will be the best of friends.
70
00:08:31,840 --> 00:08:33,888
To the shop, please.
71
00:08:57,200 --> 00:08:58,361
Arthur's in the dining room, sir.
72
00:09:08,880 --> 00:09:10,006
Arthur.
73
00:09:10,200 --> 00:09:11,406
Galahad.
74
00:09:11,640 --> 00:09:16,282
The others were beginning to wonder
if we were going to have a double toast.
75
00:09:18,960 --> 00:09:22,931
Gentlemen, I'm thankful to
say it's been 17 years...
76
00:09:23,120 --> 00:09:25,487
since we last had occasion
to use this decanter.
77
00:09:26,360 --> 00:09:30,763
Lancelot was an outstanding agent,
and a true Kingsman.
78
00:09:30,960 --> 00:09:32,371
He will be sorely missed.
79
00:09:33,760 --> 00:09:34,921
To Lancelot.
80
00:09:35,760 --> 00:09:37,410
To Lancelot.
81
00:09:41,440 --> 00:09:46,480
I intend to start the selection process
for Lancelot's replacement tomorrow.
82
00:09:46,760 --> 00:09:49,161
I want each of you
to propose a candidate...
83
00:09:49,320 --> 00:09:51,687
and have them report to UK HQ...
84
00:09:51,880 --> 00:09:54,008
no later than 9 p.m. GMT.
85
00:09:54,640 --> 00:09:55,482
Thank you.
86
00:09:58,000 --> 00:09:58,842
Merlin.
87
00:09:59,880 --> 00:10:01,530
Come in.
88
00:10:01,960 --> 00:10:04,566
Lancelot was investigating
a group of mercenaries...
89
00:10:04,720 --> 00:10:07,451
who were experimenting
with biological weaponry.
90
00:10:07,600 --> 00:10:08,601
Glasses, gentlemen, please.
91
00:10:11,280 --> 00:10:13,601
Uganda, 2012.
92
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Synthetic cathinones.
93
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They put it in the water supply
of a guerrilla army base.
94
00:10:19,040 --> 00:10:22,283
Rage, cannibalism, multiple fatalities.
95
00:10:23,640 --> 00:10:25,130
Chechnya, 2013.
96
00:10:25,440 --> 00:10:27,090
Insurgents turned on one another.
97
00:10:27,240 --> 00:10:31,006
Indisputably, the work of our mercenaries,
but no trace of any chemicals of any kind.
98
00:10:31,160 --> 00:10:32,241
So what happened to Lancelot?
99
00:10:33,240 --> 00:10:36,289
He tracked them to this property
in Argentina.
100
00:10:36,480 --> 00:10:37,766
While he had them under surveillance...
101
00:10:37,920 --> 00:10:39,763
he became aware
they'd effected a kidnapping.
102
00:10:40,600 --> 00:10:44,605
So he executed a solo rescue mission,
which failed.
103
00:10:45,480 --> 00:10:47,005
This is his last transmission.
104
00:10:49,000 --> 00:10:51,526
- Who is he?
-Some climate change doomsayer.
105
00:10:51,680 --> 00:10:53,205
Expounds something
called "Gaia theory"...
106
00:10:53,360 --> 00:10:55,124
about the world healing itself,
or some such.
107
00:10:55,280 --> 00:10:59,171
But what's curious,
is he's not actually missing.
108
00:10:59,600 --> 00:11:01,967
This is Professor Arnold...
109
00:11:02,120 --> 00:11:04,168
at Imperial College this morning.
110
00:11:05,240 --> 00:11:07,004
It's all yours.
111
00:11:07,200 --> 00:11:09,487
And don't forget
your membership proposal.
112
00:11:09,640 --> 00:11:12,723
Try picking a more suitable
candidate this time.
113
00:11:12,880 --> 00:11:14,769
17 years and still...
114
00:11:14,920 --> 00:11:18,561
evolving with the times remains
an entirely foreign concept to you.
115
00:11:18,760 --> 00:11:21,809
Need I remind you, I wouldn't be here
if it weren't for that young man?
116
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He was as much Kingsman
material as any of them.
117
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More so.
118
00:11:26,120 --> 00:11:29,124
But he wasn't exactly one of us, was he?
119
00:11:29,880 --> 00:11:33,487
Let's face it, Galahad,
your little experiment failed.
120
00:11:35,160 --> 00:11:37,686
With respect, Arthur, you're a snob.
121
00:11:37,880 --> 00:11:38,961
"With respect"?
122
00:11:40,160 --> 00:11:42,322
The world is changing.
123
00:11:42,480 --> 00:11:46,485
There's a reason why aristocrats
developed weak chins.
124
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Eggsy?
125
00:12:08,520 --> 00:12:10,204
Eggsy, come here.
126
00:12:13,480 --> 00:12:15,209
- Got any Rizla, babe?
-No.
127
00:12:15,360 --> 00:12:17,408
Why don't you do your mum a favor,
go down to the shop and get some?
128
00:12:17,560 --> 00:12:18,891
- Get them yourself.
-Oi.
129
00:12:19,040 --> 00:12:21,691
What have I said to you
about speaking to Dean like that?
130
00:12:21,880 --> 00:12:25,327
Three's a crowd, innit?
Why don't Dean's poodle go?
131
00:12:25,480 --> 00:12:26,970
I'll tell you what.
132
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Why don't you take this,
go and get some Rizlas...
133
00:12:29,040 --> 00:12:30,883
get yourself some sweets?
And while you're gone...
134
00:12:31,960 --> 00:12:34,964
we'll show your mother
how three can be good company.
135
00:12:37,560 --> 00:12:38,402
Thanks, babe.
136
00:12:46,280 --> 00:12:47,964
There we go.
137
00:12:48,960 --> 00:12:50,166
Is that better?
138
00:13:04,920 --> 00:13:07,321
If Dean treats your mum so bad,
why doesn't she leave him?
139
00:13:07,480 --> 00:13:09,448
Low self-esteem. That's her problem.
140
00:13:09,640 --> 00:13:11,369
Fuck off.
Why would she have low self-esteem?
141
00:13:11,560 --> 00:13:13,369
Eggsy's mum is well fit.
142
00:13:13,720 --> 00:13:15,882
- No offense, bruv.
-it's all right.
143
00:13:16,800 --> 00:13:19,121
One of these days,
I'm gonna smash his face in.
144
00:13:19,280 --> 00:13:20,725
Are you mental, cuz?
145
00:13:20,880 --> 00:13:23,565
He'd just get that lot to do you,
and then pretend he knew nothing--
146
00:13:26,040 --> 00:13:26,927
...about it.
147
00:13:27,480 --> 00:13:29,767
You think you can chat shit about us
and we won't do nothing...
148
00:13:29,920 --> 00:13:32,082
just because our guvnor's
banging Eggsy's mum?
149
00:13:32,240 --> 00:13:34,083
Pretty much, yeah.
150
00:13:34,240 --> 00:13:36,402
Bruv, just leave it. Let's just go, man.
151
00:13:36,560 --> 00:13:37,482
It's not worth it.
152
00:13:37,640 --> 00:13:40,246
You boys have outstayed your welcome.
153
00:13:40,560 --> 00:13:41,402
Leave.
154
00:13:43,320 --> 00:13:44,321
What?
155
00:13:45,080 --> 00:13:46,923
I'm sorry about that, bruv.
156
00:13:50,000 --> 00:13:50,808
Yeah.
157
00:13:51,080 --> 00:13:52,127
Mug-
158
00:13:54,240 --> 00:13:56,402
They weren't fucking worth it, boys.
159
00:13:57,480 --> 00:14:00,768
It's freezing. Why are we walking?
160
00:14:00,920 --> 00:14:02,763
You jacked his fucking car keys, bruv?
161
00:14:02,920 --> 00:14:05,446
Yeah. Now, we're gonna nick his car.
162
00:14:06,120 --> 00:14:07,451
Shit!
163
00:14:13,320 --> 00:14:14,810
Hold on, boys.
164
00:14:17,320 --> 00:14:19,049
Hey, that's my fucking car!
165
00:14:19,200 --> 00:14:21,441
Hey! Hey! Eggsy!
166
00:14:21,600 --> 00:14:23,648
I swear, you want to fucking stop it!
167
00:14:23,840 --> 00:14:26,366
You're a fucking dead man! Stop it!
168
00:14:29,280 --> 00:14:30,281
I'm gonna fucking have ya!
169
00:14:35,440 --> 00:14:36,965
Floor it, Eggsy!
170
00:14:37,120 --> 00:14:37,962
Floor it!
171
00:14:38,840 --> 00:14:40,080
Wanker!
172
00:14:41,920 --> 00:14:43,445
Yeah, Dean. Look, it's me.
173
00:14:43,600 --> 00:14:45,602
Eggsy just stole my fucking car.
174
00:14:45,760 --> 00:14:48,604
I've come out the pub,
he's done 15 donuts in my fucking face...
175
00:14:48,760 --> 00:14:50,330
and he's drove off.
176
00:14:50,480 --> 00:14:52,608
No, I can't have it!
He's disrespecting me.
177
00:14:52,760 --> 00:14:54,967
And that means,
he's disrespecting you.
178
00:14:55,160 --> 00:14:58,004
Hold up! What the...?
179
00:15:38,840 --> 00:15:39,682
Dickhead.
180
00:15:41,720 --> 00:15:43,643
Foxes are vermin, cuz.
181
00:15:43,800 --> 00:15:45,245
Should've driven it over.
182
00:15:45,400 --> 00:15:47,368
Should've done a lot of things.
183
00:15:47,520 --> 00:15:49,204
I'll sort this. Get out of the car.
184
00:15:49,920 --> 00:15:51,888
I said, get out of the fucking car!
185
00:16:00,480 --> 00:16:03,848
Eggsy, there is no such thing
as honor amongst thieves.
186
00:16:04,840 --> 00:16:08,561
Now, you can start giving me some names
of the boys you were with...
187
00:16:09,200 --> 00:16:10,565
or you go down.
188
00:16:11,440 --> 00:16:12,771
It's up to you.
189
00:16:13,960 --> 00:16:15,564
I want to exercise
my right to a phone call.
190
00:16:18,360 --> 00:16:21,762
Well, I hope it's to your mum...
191
00:16:21,920 --> 00:16:25,447
to tell her you're gonna be
18 months late for your dinner.
192
00:16:56,400 --> 00:16:58,767
Customer Complaints, how may I help you?
193
00:16:59,560 --> 00:17:01,130
My name's Eggsy Unwin.
194
00:17:01,280 --> 00:17:05,763
Sorry, Gary Unwin.
And I'm up shit creek.
195
00:17:05,960 --> 00:17:07,200
I'm in Holborn police station...
196
00:17:07,360 --> 00:17:09,044
and my mum said to call this number
if ever I needed help.
197
00:17:09,200 --> 00:17:11,680
I'm sorry, sir. Wrong number.
198
00:17:11,880 --> 00:17:13,211
Wait! Wait!
199
00:17:14,800 --> 00:17:17,201
Oxfords not brogues.
200
00:17:18,960 --> 00:17:20,325
Your complaint has been duly noted...
201
00:17:20,480 --> 00:17:23,643
and we hope that we have
not lost you as a loyal customer.
202
00:17:34,960 --> 00:17:36,041
Yeah.
203
00:17:37,640 --> 00:17:38,971
You what?
204
00:17:40,320 --> 00:17:41,367
205
00:17:41,640 --> 00:17:42,801
Yeah.
206
00:17:43,520 --> 00:17:46,171
Yes, I totally understand.
207
00:18:05,560 --> 00:18:06,766
Eggsy
208
00:18:07,760 --> 00:18:08,886
Would you like a lift home?
209
00:18:09,760 --> 00:18:10,841
Who are you?
210
00:18:11,000 --> 00:18:12,365
The man who got you released.
211
00:18:12,520 --> 00:18:13,851
That ain't an answer.
212
00:18:14,160 --> 00:18:16,367
A little gratitude would be nice.
213
00:18:17,360 --> 00:18:20,842
My name is Harry Hart,
and I gave you that medal.
214
00:18:22,400 --> 00:18:24,402
Your father saved my life.
215
00:18:27,680 --> 00:18:29,808
So before you was a tailor,
was you in the army?
216
00:18:30,360 --> 00:18:31,691
Like an officer.
217
00:18:31,880 --> 00:18:33,370
Not quite.
218
00:18:33,520 --> 00:18:35,329
So where was you posted,
Iraq or something?
219
00:18:35,480 --> 00:18:37,767
Sorry, Eggsy. Classified.
220
00:18:38,840 --> 00:18:40,365
But my dad saved your life, yeah?
221
00:18:41,400 --> 00:18:44,927
The day your father died,
I missed something.
222
00:18:46,040 --> 00:18:47,166
And if it weren't for his courage...
223
00:18:47,320 --> 00:18:50,244
my mistake would have cost the lives
of every man present.
224
00:18:51,320 --> 00:18:52,685
So I owe him.
225
00:18:53,920 --> 00:18:55,888
Your father was a brave man.
226
00:18:57,080 --> 00:18:58,889
A good man.
227
00:18:59,040 --> 00:19:00,087
And having read your files...
228
00:19:00,280 --> 00:19:02,681
I think he'd be bitterly disappointed
in the choices you've made.
229
00:19:02,840 --> 00:19:04,001
You can't talk to me like that.
230
00:19:04,200 --> 00:19:05,087
Huge l.Q.
231
00:19:05,240 --> 00:19:07,129
Great performance at primary school.
232
00:19:08,040 --> 00:19:09,371
And it all went tits up.
233
00:19:09,520 --> 00:19:12,251
Drugs, petty crime. Never had a job.
234
00:19:12,400 --> 00:19:14,084
You think there's a lot of jobs
going around here, do you?
235
00:19:14,240 --> 00:19:15,730
Doesn't explain
why you gave up your hobbies.
236
00:19:15,920 --> 00:19:18,491
First prize,
regional Under-10s gymnastics...
237
00:19:18,640 --> 00:19:19,880
two years in a row.
238
00:19:20,040 --> 00:19:22,247
Your coach had you pegged
as Olympic team material.
239
00:19:22,400 --> 00:19:24,084
Yeah, well, when you grow up around
someone like my stepdad...
240
00:19:24,240 --> 00:19:25,730
you pick up new hobbies pretty quick.
241
00:19:25,880 --> 00:19:27,609
Of course. Always someone else's fault.
242
00:19:29,320 --> 00:19:31,004
Who's to blame
for you quitting the Marines?
243
00:19:31,160 --> 00:19:33,561
You were halfway through training,
doing brilliantly, but you gave up.
244
00:19:33,720 --> 00:19:35,722
Because my mum went mental.
245
00:19:35,880 --> 00:19:38,690
Banging on about losing me
as well as my dad.
246
00:19:38,840 --> 00:19:41,286
Didn't want me being cannon fodder
for snobs like you.
247
00:19:41,440 --> 00:19:43,841
Judging people like me
from your ivory towers...
248
00:19:44,000 --> 00:19:46,241
with no thought about
why we do what we do.
249
00:19:46,680 --> 00:19:49,286
We ain't got much choice. You get me?
250
00:19:49,720 --> 00:19:52,121
And if we was born with the same
silver spoon up our arses...
251
00:19:52,280 --> 00:19:55,124
we'd do just as well as you.
If not, better.
252
00:19:55,280 --> 00:19:58,124
What the fuck you doing here?
You taking a piss?
253
00:19:59,920 --> 00:20:01,081
Some more examples of young men...
254
00:20:01,240 --> 00:20:02,969
who simply need a silver suppository?
255
00:20:03,120 --> 00:20:04,645
No, they're exceptions. Come on.
256
00:20:04,800 --> 00:20:06,245
Nonsense.
We haven't finished our drinks.
257
00:20:06,400 --> 00:20:07,481
After you nicked his car...
258
00:20:07,680 --> 00:20:08,966
Dean says you're fair game.
259
00:20:09,120 --> 00:20:10,610
He don't give a shit what your mum says.
260
00:20:10,800 --> 00:20:12,131
Listen, boys...
261
00:20:13,520 --> 00:20:15,488
I've had a rather emotional day...
262
00:20:15,640 --> 00:20:19,964
so whatever your beef with Eggsy is,
and I'm sure it's well-founded...
263
00:20:20,320 --> 00:20:21,810
I'd appreciate it enormously...
264
00:20:21,960 --> 00:20:23,928
if you could just leave us in peace...
265
00:20:24,080 --> 00:20:26,651
until I finish
this lovely pint of Guinness.
266
00:20:29,800 --> 00:20:32,371
You should get out of the way, Granddad,
or you'll get hurt and all.
267
00:20:32,640 --> 00:20:34,005
He ain't joking. You should go.
268
00:20:40,840 --> 00:20:42,001
Excuse me.
269
00:20:43,840 --> 00:20:46,525
If you're looking for another rent boy,
they're on the corner of Smith street.
270
00:20:52,520 --> 00:20:53,806
Manners...
271
00:20:55,000 --> 00:20:56,286
maketh...
272
00:20:59,040 --> 00:21:00,565
man.
273
00:21:08,040 --> 00:21:09,804
Do you know what that means?
274
00:21:11,680 --> 00:21:13,842
Then let me teach you a lesson.
275
00:21:22,680 --> 00:21:25,763
Are we going to stand around here all day,
or are we going to fight?
276
00:22:10,520 --> 00:22:13,569
You fucking dirty, fucking dirty--
277
00:22:54,800 --> 00:22:56,211
Sorry about that.
278
00:22:56,360 --> 00:22:58,124
Needed to let off a little steam.
279
00:22:59,280 --> 00:23:02,807
I heard yesterday a friend of mine died.
280
00:23:02,960 --> 00:23:05,008
He knew your father too, actually.
281
00:23:07,520 --> 00:23:09,648
Now, I do apologize, Eggsy.
282
00:23:09,800 --> 00:23:11,802
I shouldn't have done this
in front of you.
283
00:23:11,960 --> 00:23:13,962
No, please!
I won't say nothing, I swear!
284
00:23:14,160 --> 00:23:15,650
If there's one thing I can do,
it's keep my mouth shut.
285
00:23:15,800 --> 00:23:17,165
- You won't tell a soul?
-Ask the feds.
286
00:23:17,320 --> 00:23:18,321
I've never grassed anyone up.
287
00:23:18,480 --> 00:23:20,801
- Is that a promise?
-On my life!
288
00:23:25,000 --> 00:23:26,843
Much appreciated, Eggsy.
289
00:23:27,000 --> 00:23:28,764
You're right about the snobs.
290
00:23:28,920 --> 00:23:31,161
But there, too, there are exceptions.
291
00:23:32,080 --> 00:23:33,889
Best of luck with everything.
292
00:23:48,200 --> 00:23:52,444
In celebrity news, the Richmond Valentine
movie premiered in Hollywood last night.
293
00:23:52,600 --> 00:23:55,410
The story of the internet billionaire's
rise to power...
294
00:23:55,560 --> 00:23:58,370
is expected to be
this award season's hot ticket.
295
00:23:58,520 --> 00:24:01,524
One notable absence from the red carpet
was Iggy Azalea...
296
00:24:01,680 --> 00:24:05,207
still missing three days after she failed
to appear at her Oakland concert.
297
00:24:05,360 --> 00:24:06,930
No ransom has been demanded.
298
00:24:07,080 --> 00:24:09,048
Eggsy, just go, please,
because he's gonna...
299
00:24:10,240 --> 00:24:11,730
No, please, don't hurt him!
300
00:24:11,880 --> 00:24:13,564
Fuck off! Get the fuck away with ya!
301
00:24:13,760 --> 00:24:14,966
Shut the fuck up!
302
00:24:15,120 --> 00:24:17,248
Who was with you in that fucking pub?
303
00:24:17,400 --> 00:24:19,562
I want to know the name of the geezer
you was with.
304
00:24:19,720 --> 00:24:21,563
- I wasn't with no one!
-Who was it?
305
00:24:21,720 --> 00:24:23,131
- I don't know what you're on about.
-Who was it?
306
00:24:23,280 --> 00:24:24,441
I don't know
who you're fucking on about!
307
00:24:24,600 --> 00:24:25,726
Fucking tell me his name!
308
00:24:25,880 --> 00:24:28,201
I don't know
who you're fucking on about!
309
00:24:32,440 --> 00:24:33,441
You listen to me!
310
00:24:33,600 --> 00:24:35,568
I want to know who you was with in that pub.
Do you understand?
311
00:24:35,720 --> 00:24:37,609
I want to know his fucking name!
312
00:24:37,760 --> 00:24:40,730
Because, I swear,
I'll rip your head off.
313
00:24:40,880 --> 00:24:43,963
- Tell me!
- I don't know what you're fucking on about!
314
00:24:44,120 --> 00:24:45,167
Just tell him, Eggsy!
315
00:24:45,320 --> 00:24:47,129
Fuck off! Fuck off, Michelle!
316
00:24:47,280 --> 00:24:48,566
I could kill you right now...
317
00:24:48,720 --> 00:24:51,246
and no one in the whole world
will notice!
318
00:24:51,400 --> 00:24:53,084
But I would.
319
00:24:53,240 --> 00:24:55,083
I have enough evidence
on your activities...
320
00:24:55,240 --> 00:24:57,242
to have you locked up
for the rest of your life...
321
00:24:57,400 --> 00:24:59,641
- Mr. Dean Anthony Baker.
-What the fuck?
322
00:24:59,840 --> 00:25:01,410
So I suggest you leave the boy alone...
323
00:25:01,600 --> 00:25:05,161
or I shall be forced to deliver it
to the appropriate authorities.
324
00:25:06,160 --> 00:25:08,731
Eggsy, meet me at the tailor
I told you about.
325
00:25:08,880 --> 00:25:11,360
What the fuck's going on here?
326
00:25:13,320 --> 00:25:14,526
Eggsy, you fucking maggot!
327
00:25:14,680 --> 00:25:15,886
Hey, we got a racer!
328
00:25:16,040 --> 00:25:17,530
Come here. Hey!
329
00:25:18,240 --> 00:25:19,366
EGGSY. you fucking--
330
00:25:19,520 --> 00:25:20,806
Come here, son!
331
00:25:33,240 --> 00:25:34,321
You wanker!
332
00:25:34,480 --> 00:25:36,130
I'll have you, son!
333
00:26:01,560 --> 00:26:03,562
I've never met a tailor before.
334
00:26:04,400 --> 00:26:05,731
But I know you ain't one.
335
00:26:09,680 --> 00:26:11,364
Come with me.
336
00:26:20,040 --> 00:26:21,326
Come on in.
337
00:26:27,040 --> 00:26:28,041
What do you see?
338
00:26:28,320 --> 00:26:31,563
Someone who wants to know
what the fuck is going on.
339
00:26:33,240 --> 00:26:35,607
I see a young man with potential.
340
00:26:36,920 --> 00:26:38,684
A young man who is loyal.
341
00:26:39,840 --> 00:26:41,569
Who can do as he's asked.
342
00:26:41,720 --> 00:26:44,530
And who wants to do
something good with his life.
343
00:26:46,120 --> 00:26:48,122
Did you see the film Trading Places?
344
00:26:48,840 --> 00:26:50,205
No.
345
00:26:50,600 --> 00:26:52,125
How about Nikita?
346
00:26:53,200 --> 00:26:54,531
Pretty Woman?
347
00:26:55,440 --> 00:26:56,521
All right.
348
00:26:56,680 --> 00:26:59,729
My point is, that the lack of a silver spoon
has set you on a certain path...
349
00:26:59,880 --> 00:27:01,723
but you needn't stay on it.
350
00:27:01,960 --> 00:27:06,807
If you're prepared to adapt and learn,
you can transform.
351
00:27:07,360 --> 00:27:09,203
Like in My Fair Lady.
352
00:27:10,240 --> 00:27:12,288
Well, you're full of surprises.
353
00:27:12,560 --> 00:27:15,245
Yes, like My Fair Lady.
354
00:27:16,320 --> 00:27:19,608
Only, in this case, I'm offering you
the opportunity to become a Kingsman.
355
00:27:20,280 --> 00:27:21,611
A tailor?
356
00:27:22,080 --> 00:27:23,411
A Kingsman agent.
357
00:27:24,960 --> 00:27:26,246
Like a spy?
358
00:27:26,440 --> 00:27:27,566
Of sorts.
359
00:27:29,560 --> 00:27:30,402
Interested?
360
00:27:31,080 --> 00:27:33,242
You think I've got anything to lose?
361
00:27:40,400 --> 00:27:41,765
Since 1849...
362
00:27:41,920 --> 00:27:46,084
Kingsman tailors have clothed
the world's most powerful individuals.
363
00:27:46,240 --> 00:27:50,928
By 1919, a great number of them
had lost their heirs to World War One.
364
00:27:51,760 --> 00:27:55,082
That meant a lot of money
going uninherited.
365
00:27:55,240 --> 00:27:59,290
And a lot of powerful men with a desire
to preserve peace and protect life.
366
00:27:59,440 --> 00:28:02,364
Our founders realized that they could
channel that wealth and influence...
367
00:28:02,520 --> 00:28:04,170
for the greater good.
368
00:28:04,320 --> 00:28:07,608
And so began our other venture.
369
00:28:08,440 --> 00:28:10,761
An independent,
international intelligence agency...
370
00:28:10,920 --> 00:28:14,288
operating at the highest level
of discretion.
371
00:28:15,080 --> 00:28:16,570
Above the politics and bureaucracy...
372
00:28:16,720 --> 00:28:20,930
that undermine the integrity
of government-run spy organizations.
373
00:28:21,640 --> 00:28:24,007
The suit is a modern gentleman's armor.
374
00:28:24,840 --> 00:28:27,923
And the Kingsman agents
are the new knights.
375
00:28:29,000 --> 00:28:30,604
How deep does this fucking thing go?
376
00:28:30,760 --> 00:28:31,807
Deep enough.
377
00:29:16,480 --> 00:29:18,164
Shit, we're late.
378
00:29:42,840 --> 00:29:45,366
Your father had the
same look on his face.
379
00:29:47,040 --> 00:29:48,405
As did I.
380
00:29:50,080 --> 00:29:51,206
Come on.
381
00:29:54,000 --> 00:29:55,047
Galahad.
382
00:29:55,200 --> 00:29:56,201
My code name.
383
00:29:56,360 --> 00:29:57,850
Late again, sir.
384
00:29:58,200 --> 00:29:59,531
Good luck.
385
00:29:59,880 --> 00:30:01,211
In you go.
386
00:30:12,720 --> 00:30:13,881
Fall in.
387
00:30:16,120 --> 00:30:18,964
Ladies and gentlemen, my name is Merlin.
388
00:30:19,120 --> 00:30:20,201
You are about to embark...
389
00:30:20,360 --> 00:30:23,091
on what is probably the most
dangerous job interview in the world.
390
00:30:23,920 --> 00:30:28,767
One of you, and only one of you,
will become the next Lancelot.
391
00:30:29,520 --> 00:30:32,763
Can anybody tell me what this is?
392
00:30:33,640 --> 00:30:35,244
- Yes?
-Body bag, sir.
393
00:30:35,400 --> 00:30:37,721
Correct. Charlie, isn't it?
394
00:30:37,920 --> 00:30:38,807
Yes, sir.
395
00:30:38,960 --> 00:30:39,722
Good.
396
00:30:39,880 --> 00:30:42,247
In a moment,
you will each collect a body bag.
397
00:30:42,440 --> 00:30:44,249
You will write your name on that bag.
398
00:30:44,600 --> 00:30:47,843
You will write the details
of your next of kin on that bag.
399
00:30:48,000 --> 00:30:51,288
This represents your acknowledgment
of the risks that you are about to face...
400
00:30:51,600 --> 00:30:54,729
as well as your agreement
to strict confidentiality.
401
00:30:54,880 --> 00:30:57,963
Which, incidentally, if you break,
will result in you...
402
00:30:58,240 --> 00:31:00,561
and your next of kin...
403
00:31:01,040 --> 00:31:02,610
being in that bag.
404
00:31:04,280 --> 00:31:05,691
Is that understood?
405
00:31:07,200 --> 00:31:08,361
Excellent.
406
00:31:08,960 --> 00:31:10,246
Fall out.
407
00:31:17,560 --> 00:31:19,961
Roxanne. But call me Roxy.
408
00:31:20,720 --> 00:31:22,131
- I'm Eggsy
_"Eggy"?
409
00:31:22,280 --> 00:31:23,247
No, Eggsy
410
00:31:23,440 --> 00:31:24,771
Eggsy?
411
00:31:24,920 --> 00:31:26,046
Where did they dig you up?
412
00:31:26,200 --> 00:31:28,328
You know we're not allowed
to discuss who proposed us.
413
00:31:28,480 --> 00:31:29,766
No need to bite his head off.
414
00:31:29,920 --> 00:31:32,287
Charlie's only making conversation,
right, Charlie?
415
00:31:32,880 --> 00:31:34,120
I'm Digby.
416
00:31:35,400 --> 00:31:36,083
Digby-.
417
00:31:36,240 --> 00:31:37,651
Eggy, this is Rufus.
418
00:31:37,800 --> 00:31:39,325
Rufus, Eggy
419
00:31:41,480 --> 00:31:44,290
So, Eggy, are you Oxford or Cambridge?
420
00:31:44,760 --> 00:31:45,443
Neither.
421
00:31:45,600 --> 00:31:46,931
- Saint Andrews?
-Durham?
422
00:31:47,080 --> 00:31:49,003
No, wait, I think we may have met.
423
00:31:49,160 --> 00:31:52,721
Did you serve me at the McDonald's
in Winchester service station?
424
00:31:52,840 --> 00:31:53,568
No.
425
00:31:54,280 --> 00:31:56,806
It's definitely Saint Andrews.
426
00:31:57,360 --> 00:31:58,566
Just ignore them.
427
00:31:58,720 --> 00:31:59,801
You need a pen?
428
00:31:59,960 --> 00:32:00,722
Cheers.
429
00:32:00,880 --> 00:32:02,291
Amelia, isn't it?
430
00:32:02,480 --> 00:32:03,891
Amelia, Eggsy
431
00:32:04,040 --> 00:32:05,201
Hi, Eggsy
432
00:32:05,560 --> 00:32:07,324
Don't take any notice of those guys.
433
00:32:07,480 --> 00:32:09,164
That's what I told him.
434
00:32:11,480 --> 00:32:12,686
It's just scare tactics.
435
00:32:13,040 --> 00:32:14,565
Classic army technique.
436
00:32:14,880 --> 00:32:15,881
No one's gonna die.
437
00:32:20,040 --> 00:32:21,246
Shame.
438
00:32:23,360 --> 00:32:25,567
Great. You don't know,
the CIA don't know.
439
00:32:25,720 --> 00:32:28,246
Nobody knows who this guy is?
440
00:32:29,000 --> 00:32:30,001
Fine.
441
00:32:30,160 --> 00:32:31,525
Seriously, it's fine.
442
00:32:31,720 --> 00:32:35,566
Well, it's not really fine,
but it's not why I'm here.
443
00:32:35,760 --> 00:32:39,207
Hell, man, you know me.
Money's not my issue.
444
00:32:39,360 --> 00:32:41,089
I could've retired
straight out of MIT...
445
00:32:41,240 --> 00:32:43,720
fucked off to some island,
let the business run itself.
446
00:32:43,880 --> 00:32:46,645
Nobody told me
to try and save the planet.
447
00:32:46,800 --> 00:32:48,450
I wanted to.
448
00:32:48,600 --> 00:32:52,321
Climate change research,
lobbying, years of study, billions of dollars...
449
00:32:52,480 --> 00:32:54,289
and you know why I quit?
450
00:32:54,720 --> 00:32:59,487
Because the last time I checked,
the planet was still fucked.
451
00:32:59,800 --> 00:33:02,326
Hence, my epiphany-
452
00:33:02,480 --> 00:33:05,245
Money won't solve this.
453
00:33:05,600 --> 00:33:08,080
Those idiots
who call themselves politicians...
454
00:33:08,240 --> 00:33:12,290
have buried their heads in the sand
and stood for nothing but re-election.
455
00:33:13,080 --> 00:33:17,404
So I spent the last two years
trying to find a real solution.
456
00:33:18,000 --> 00:33:19,923
And I found it.
457
00:33:21,000 --> 00:33:24,129
Now, if you really want to make
the world a better place...
458
00:33:24,280 --> 00:33:28,763
I suggest you open your fucking ears,
because I'm about to tell it to you.
459
00:33:28,960 --> 00:33:30,803
Go on, Mr. Valentine.
460
00:33:30,960 --> 00:33:32,485
I'm still listening.
461
00:33:33,280 --> 00:33:37,171
As long as you agree to all my terms.
462
00:34:25,360 --> 00:34:26,885
All right, no one panic. Listen to me.
463
00:34:27,160 --> 00:34:28,207
Stay calm.
464
00:34:29,040 --> 00:34:29,723
Fuck.
465
00:34:31,880 --> 00:34:33,405
Loo snorkels, loo snorkels!
466
00:34:33,680 --> 00:34:34,647
Loo snorkels?
467
00:34:34,840 --> 00:34:35,648
Shower heads!
468
00:34:36,880 --> 00:34:37,722
Shower heads?
469
00:34:37,880 --> 00:34:39,325
She's right. Fucking go!
470
00:34:41,240 --> 00:34:43,766
Hey, hang about,
what's wrong with the fucking door?
471
00:36:07,440 --> 00:36:10,250
Congratulations on completing
your first task.
472
00:36:10,520 --> 00:36:13,171
Charlie, Roxy, well done.
473
00:36:13,320 --> 00:36:15,129
For those of you
who are still confused...
474
00:36:15,280 --> 00:36:17,487
if you can get a breathing tube
around a U-bend of a toilet...
475
00:36:17,640 --> 00:36:19,483
you have an unlimited air supply.
476
00:36:19,640 --> 00:36:22,120
Simple physics, worth remembering.
477
00:36:22,320 --> 00:36:25,608
Eggsy, well done for spotting
that was a two-way mirror.
478
00:36:25,760 --> 00:36:26,761
He's probably seen enough of them.
479
00:36:26,920 --> 00:36:29,810
Yeah, you can all wipe those smirks
off your faces.
480
00:36:30,000 --> 00:36:33,800
Because as far as I'm concerned,
every single one of you has failed.
481
00:36:34,160 --> 00:36:37,209
You all forgot
the most important thing...
482
00:36:38,200 --> 00:36:39,486
teamwork.
483
00:36:53,680 --> 00:36:56,331
So much for classic army technique.
484
00:36:59,520 --> 00:37:00,760
35.
485
00:37:01,440 --> 00:37:02,805
105.
486
00:37:03,440 --> 00:37:05,761
That's it. That's it.
487
00:37:10,360 --> 00:37:11,043
Hello.
488
00:37:11,800 --> 00:37:12,847
Can I help you?
489
00:37:13,040 --> 00:37:16,408
Yes. I have a question
about anthropogenic force.
490
00:37:17,880 --> 00:37:21,009
Really? It's actually quite fascinating.
491
00:37:22,880 --> 00:37:24,530
My colleague died
trying to rescue you...
492
00:37:24,720 --> 00:37:26,404
and I'm sure you saw
how well trained he was...
493
00:37:26,560 --> 00:37:29,166
so I suggest you tell me who kidnapped
you and why they let you go.
494
00:37:29,320 --> 00:37:31,084
I have no idea what you're talking--
495
00:37:31,880 --> 00:37:34,121
I'm not supposed to say it, but it was--
496
00:37:34,520 --> 00:37:36,204
For God's sake, I've barely touched you.
497
00:37:36,360 --> 00:37:37,691
Man up!
498
00:37:58,520 --> 00:38:00,443
Fuck that guy, whoever he is.
I'm gonna--
499
00:38:02,000 --> 00:38:03,968
He made me kill Professor Arnold.
500
00:38:04,120 --> 00:38:05,451
I goddamn loved Professor Arnold.
501
00:38:05,600 --> 00:38:06,681
Well, the good news is...
502
00:38:06,840 --> 00:38:08,649
we know the emergency
and surveillance system work.
503
00:38:08,800 --> 00:38:10,768
You know what's not good news?
504
00:38:10,920 --> 00:38:12,649
"My colleague died!"
505
00:38:12,800 --> 00:38:14,211
That's what he said!
506
00:38:14,360 --> 00:38:16,727
This is an organization,
and they're all over us.
507
00:38:16,960 --> 00:38:18,724
- Whoever you spoke to--
-I told you...
508
00:38:18,880 --> 00:38:22,441
I made contact with the KGB, MI6,
Mossad and Beijing.
509
00:38:22,600 --> 00:38:24,011
They all insist he wasn't one of theirs.
510
00:38:24,440 --> 00:38:25,726
Beijing-
511
00:38:26,160 --> 00:38:30,404
So freaky how there's no recognizable name
for the Chinese secret service.
512
00:38:30,840 --> 00:38:33,002
Now, that's what you call
a secret, right?
513
00:38:34,040 --> 00:38:35,769
You know what? Fuck it.
514
00:38:36,240 --> 00:38:37,810
We need to speed things up.
515
00:38:38,000 --> 00:38:39,331
Bring the product release forward.
516
00:38:39,480 --> 00:38:41,323
We're only halfway into production...
517
00:38:41,480 --> 00:38:42,925
and speeding it will cost a fortune.
518
00:38:43,080 --> 00:38:44,366
Do I look like I give a fuck?
519
00:38:44,600 --> 00:38:46,443
Just get it done.
520
00:38:48,960 --> 00:38:51,531
As some of you will
have learned last night...
521
00:38:52,960 --> 00:38:56,169
teamwork is paramount here at Kingsman.
522
00:38:56,320 --> 00:39:00,120
We're here to enhance your skills,
test you to the limit.
523
00:39:00,280 --> 00:39:03,727
Which is why you're gonna pick a puppy.
524
00:39:03,880 --> 00:39:05,723
Wherever you go, your dog goes.
525
00:39:05,880 --> 00:39:08,087
You will care for it. You will teach it.
526
00:39:08,280 --> 00:39:11,329
And by the time it's fully trained,
so will you be.
527
00:39:11,480 --> 00:39:14,086
Those of you who are still here,
that is.
528
00:39:14,240 --> 00:39:16,163
Do you understand?
529
00:39:16,360 --> 00:39:18,249
Choose YOUR PUPPY-
530
00:39:20,920 --> 00:39:22,081
A Poodle?
531
00:39:22,240 --> 00:39:23,082
What?
532
00:39:23,320 --> 00:39:24,924
They're gun dogs.
533
00:39:25,080 --> 00:39:26,570
Oldest working breed.
534
00:39:26,760 --> 00:39:28,524
Easy to train.
535
00:39:29,560 --> 00:39:30,846
A pug?
536
00:39:32,200 --> 00:39:33,884
It's a bulldog, innit?
537
00:39:36,320 --> 00:39:37,685
It'll get bigger, though, won't it?
538
00:39:41,600 --> 00:39:43,728
Shit.
539
00:39:45,720 --> 00:39:49,042
His MRI shows no signs of concussion.
540
00:39:49,240 --> 00:39:52,210
No direct brain trauma at all.
541
00:39:52,520 --> 00:39:54,602
How much longer can he be out?
542
00:39:54,760 --> 00:39:55,921
That's the million-dollar question.
543
00:39:56,120 --> 00:39:57,929
We don't know
what he was exposed to in there.
544
00:39:58,120 --> 00:39:59,565
What about Harry's footage?
545
00:39:59,720 --> 00:40:01,404
It didn't stream to his home terminal.
546
00:40:01,560 --> 00:40:04,530
Encrypted and uncrackable.
547
00:40:04,760 --> 00:40:05,921
If and when he comes around...
548
00:40:06,080 --> 00:40:08,686
you might want to have a word with him
about sharing his password.
549
00:40:08,880 --> 00:40:10,530
Is he gonna be all right?
550
00:40:11,720 --> 00:40:13,370
We need to have patience, Eggsy.
551
00:40:13,800 --> 00:40:15,131
But there's hope, okay?
552
00:40:15,720 --> 00:40:17,404
If I were you,
I'd concentrate on your training.
553
00:40:17,600 --> 00:40:19,762
Make it through the tests.
Make him proud.
554
00:40:27,400 --> 00:40:28,890
Come on, come on, come on!
555
00:40:29,040 --> 00:40:31,122
J.B., come on! Come on!
556
00:40:34,240 --> 00:40:36,242
I'm not coming last because of you.
557
00:40:37,080 --> 00:40:39,560
J.B., I'll shoot you!
Goddamn you, I'll fucking shoot you!
558
00:40:40,800 --> 00:40:42,484
Merlin said we're not
allowed to hold you.
559
00:40:44,640 --> 00:40:46,165
Bollocks.
560
00:41:28,680 --> 00:41:29,647
Water!
561
00:41:32,960 --> 00:41:34,450
- Come on, then!
-Eggsy, forget it!
562
00:41:34,600 --> 00:41:36,125
What's wrong, mate?
You can't take a joke?
563
00:41:36,280 --> 00:41:38,442
Seriously, you'll get thrown out,
and it's just not worth it.
564
00:41:38,640 --> 00:41:40,130
Maybe I don't give a fuck
if I get kicked out!
565
00:41:40,280 --> 00:41:41,645
Do it. Come on, you pleb.
566
00:41:41,800 --> 00:41:43,211
Charlie, fuck off!
567
00:41:45,320 --> 00:41:48,290
Yeah, go on, walk away. Dickhead.
568
00:41:49,640 --> 00:41:50,721
Come on, J.B.
569
00:41:50,880 --> 00:41:51,961
Come on, good boy.
570
00:42:05,760 --> 00:42:08,161
You have exactly one hour
to complete the test...
571
00:42:08,320 --> 00:42:09,890
starting now.
572
00:42:11,960 --> 00:42:13,689
New target, 800 meters.
573
00:42:13,880 --> 00:42:15,484
You know, it's unbelievable.
You're still here...
574
00:42:15,640 --> 00:42:19,167
lingering like some
big, steaming shit that just won't flush.
575
00:42:19,320 --> 00:42:20,845
Roger that. Target identified.
576
00:42:21,000 --> 00:42:23,002
And how about you shut the fuck up?
577
00:42:23,160 --> 00:42:24,286
Positive discrimination...
578
00:42:24,440 --> 00:42:25,885
that's what it is.
579
00:42:26,040 --> 00:42:29,203
It's like those fucking state school kids
who get into Oxford on C grades...
580
00:42:29,400 --> 00:42:31,004
because their mum
is a one-legged lesbian.
581
00:42:31,160 --> 00:42:32,685
You don't know fuck all about my grades.
582
00:42:32,840 --> 00:42:34,729
Forgive me,
I'm sure you're highly educated.
583
00:42:34,880 --> 00:42:36,370
Fire when ready.
584
00:42:38,520 --> 00:42:40,522
How's that for positive discrimination?
585
00:42:53,200 --> 00:42:55,009
I want to thank you both
for listening...
586
00:42:55,160 --> 00:42:58,243
and I really, really appreciate
you travelling all this way...
587
00:42:58,400 --> 00:42:59,401
Your Royal Highness.
588
00:42:59,760 --> 00:43:01,364
And you, too, Prime Minister.
589
00:43:01,520 --> 00:43:04,569
I think this is quite brilliant.
590
00:43:05,040 --> 00:43:07,566
It's absolutely brilliant.
591
00:43:08,320 --> 00:43:11,164
You are completely crazy.
592
00:43:22,400 --> 00:43:25,370
- Don't touch--
-Sorry, Your Royal Highness.
593
00:43:25,520 --> 00:43:26,567
But you've got a big role to play...
594
00:43:26,720 --> 00:43:29,291
in getting the Scandinavian
region back on track.
595
00:43:29,600 --> 00:43:30,965
You're popular, inspirational...
596
00:43:31,120 --> 00:43:33,566
and you have the power
to galvanize the people.
597
00:43:33,720 --> 00:43:36,564
Now, whether you're on board or not...
598
00:43:36,720 --> 00:43:38,370
I'm going to have to insist...
599
00:43:38,520 --> 00:43:41,410
on getting you somewhere
I can ensure your safety.
600
00:43:41,920 --> 00:43:44,127
How about you, Prime Minister?
You in or out?
601
00:43:45,080 --> 00:43:46,605
Well, I think it's about time...
602
00:43:46,760 --> 00:43:51,448
that a politician did something
that actually made a difference.
603
00:43:51,920 --> 00:43:53,763
Too true.
604
00:43:53,920 --> 00:43:54,762
What?
605
00:43:54,920 --> 00:43:56,251
Take her away.
606
00:43:59,920 --> 00:44:00,762
Drink?
607
00:44:01,760 --> 00:44:03,285
Why not?
608
00:44:07,240 --> 00:44:07,968
Don't worry.
609
00:44:08,160 --> 00:44:09,605
No harm will come to the princess.
610
00:44:10,120 --> 00:44:14,250
Well, I'm a republican anyways,
so it really doesn't matter.
611
00:44:15,760 --> 00:44:16,568
Release the princess!
612
00:44:50,480 --> 00:44:51,641
Okay, you're done.
613
00:44:51,800 --> 00:44:53,325
Not so bad, right?
614
00:44:53,840 --> 00:44:55,683
Hardly felt a thing.
615
00:44:56,000 --> 00:44:57,490
Welcome aboard.
616
00:44:57,960 --> 00:44:59,803
Pleasure is all mine.
617
00:45:06,120 --> 00:45:07,121
Ever heard of knocking?
618
00:45:08,320 --> 00:45:09,685
Only when I'm casing a place to rob.
619
00:45:11,160 --> 00:45:12,321
Merlin said you wanted to see me?
620
00:45:13,640 --> 00:45:15,688
I hope J.B.'s training
is going as well as yours is.
621
00:45:15,960 --> 00:45:17,007
Sit.
622
00:45:19,520 --> 00:45:22,410
Congratulations on making it
to the final six candidates.
623
00:45:22,560 --> 00:45:25,040
Your test results were even better
than I could've hoped.
624
00:45:27,680 --> 00:45:28,841
Come in.
625
00:45:33,040 --> 00:45:35,691
Eggsy, I need to have
a private conversation.
626
00:45:35,840 --> 00:45:36,807
You're dismissed.
627
00:45:37,000 --> 00:45:38,684
Nonsense. Let him observe.
628
00:45:38,920 --> 00:45:40,524
Might learn a thing or two.
629
00:45:41,040 --> 00:45:43,042
As you wish. Take a look at this.
630
00:45:43,200 --> 00:45:45,009
For God's sake, I've barely touched you.
631
00:45:45,160 --> 00:45:46,002
Man up!
632
00:45:46,680 --> 00:45:48,364
Fucking hell!
633
00:45:48,520 --> 00:45:50,488
That is rank, Harry.
634
00:45:51,200 --> 00:45:52,565
You blew up his head?
635
00:45:52,720 --> 00:45:54,165
It's a bit much, innit?
636
00:45:54,320 --> 00:45:58,006
Actually, the explosion was caused
by an implant in his neck.
637
00:45:58,200 --> 00:45:59,725
Here, under the scar.
638
00:46:00,040 --> 00:46:02,566
Did my hardware
pick up the signal that triggered it?
639
00:46:02,720 --> 00:46:04,245
Fortunately, yes.
640
00:46:04,560 --> 00:46:06,528
Unfortunately,
the IP address I traced it to...
641
00:46:06,680 --> 00:46:08,887
is registered
to the Valentine Corporation.
642
00:46:09,040 --> 00:46:11,884
That's not much of a lead.
He has millions of employees worldwide.
643
00:46:12,080 --> 00:46:14,242
That Richmond Valentine is a genius.
644
00:46:17,840 --> 00:46:20,047
Did you not see his announcement today?
645
00:46:20,720 --> 00:46:21,926
No.
646
00:46:25,960 --> 00:46:29,521
We each spend on average
$2,000 a year...
647
00:46:29,720 --> 00:46:31,609
on cell phone and internet usage.
648
00:46:31,760 --> 00:46:34,889
It gives me great pleasure
to announce...
649
00:46:35,040 --> 00:46:37,611
those days are over.
650
00:46:37,760 --> 00:46:38,807
As of tomorrow...
651
00:46:38,960 --> 00:46:42,806
every man, woman and child
can claim a free SIM card...
652
00:46:42,960 --> 00:46:47,090
compatible with any cell phone,
any computer...
653
00:46:47,280 --> 00:46:51,444
and utilize my communications network
for free.
654
00:46:51,600 --> 00:46:52,931
Free calls...
655
00:46:53,120 --> 00:46:54,610
free internet...
656
00:46:54,760 --> 00:46:56,285
for everyone.
657
00:46:57,280 --> 00:46:58,611
Forever.
658
00:47:14,440 --> 00:47:17,125
Valentine's assistant
has the same implant scar.
659
00:47:17,640 --> 00:47:20,291
I think Mr. Valentine and I
should have a téte-é-téte.
660
00:47:23,800 --> 00:47:26,280
He's having a gala dinner next week.
661
00:47:26,440 --> 00:47:29,284
I'll get you an invitation.
You need to be careful, though.
662
00:47:29,480 --> 00:47:31,448
Since you've been out,
hundreds of VIPs have gone missing.
663
00:47:31,600 --> 00:47:33,967
No ransom notes,
exactly like Professor Arnold.
664
00:47:34,320 --> 00:47:38,041
Then I suggest you make my alias
somebody worth kidnapping.
665
00:47:50,840 --> 00:47:52,001
Fuck, fuck, fuck!
666
00:47:52,160 --> 00:47:53,321
What, don't like heights?
667
00:47:53,480 --> 00:47:54,481
Yeah, it's okay.
668
00:47:54,720 --> 00:47:58,327
I've done it before, which is probably why,
come to think of it.
669
00:47:59,640 --> 00:48:01,529
Hey, it's gonna be all right.
670
00:48:01,680 --> 00:48:03,125
You're top of the class.
671
00:48:05,120 --> 00:48:06,360
Listen up.
672
00:48:06,520 --> 00:48:09,330
Your mission is to land in the target
without the radar detecting you.
673
00:48:09,480 --> 00:48:13,166
If I read you on the radar,
or you miss the target, you go home.
674
00:48:13,520 --> 00:48:14,681
Is that understood?
675
00:48:18,200 --> 00:48:20,806
Drop zone coming up, 20 seconds.
676
00:48:22,160 --> 00:48:23,571
We gotta go.
677
00:48:32,840 --> 00:48:34,729
Eggsy, I really don't think
I can do this.
678
00:48:34,880 --> 00:48:35,881
Of course you can't.
679
00:48:36,040 --> 00:48:37,371
Head to the back
and I'll show you how, yeah?
680
00:48:45,880 --> 00:48:47,882
Eggsy, wait! Hang on!
681
00:48:48,880 --> 00:48:50,405
Roxy, just stop fucking about!
682
00:48:52,000 --> 00:48:52,887
Follow me, yeah?
683
00:49:07,080 --> 00:49:08,923
Come on!
684
00:49:10,200 --> 00:49:12,248
Roxy, it's now or never.
685
00:49:13,520 --> 00:49:14,760
Jump!
686
00:49:33,400 --> 00:49:34,731
Good girl, Rox...
687
00:49:34,880 --> 00:49:36,484
I'm glad you made it!
688
00:49:49,280 --> 00:49:50,964
Yeah!
689
00:49:51,600 --> 00:49:52,601
Come on!
690
00:49:55,000 --> 00:49:57,128
My, my, you're all very cheerful.
691
00:49:57,280 --> 00:49:59,442
Did you really think it was gonna be
that straightforward?
692
00:49:59,640 --> 00:50:02,007
Any idiot can read a heads-up display.
693
00:50:02,160 --> 00:50:05,846
A Kingsman agent needs to be able
to solve problems under pressure.
694
00:50:06,440 --> 00:50:09,922
Like what to do when one of
your group has no parachute.
695
00:50:11,320 --> 00:50:12,970
- What, no parachute?
-Shit!
696
00:50:13,360 --> 00:50:14,486
Who?
697
00:50:14,640 --> 00:50:15,482
Fuck!
698
00:50:15,640 --> 00:50:16,607
Which one?
699
00:50:16,760 --> 00:50:18,205
What do we do?
700
00:50:18,360 --> 00:50:19,771
I told you. Aim for the target.
701
00:50:19,920 --> 00:50:21,206
Come in under the radar.
702
00:50:21,360 --> 00:50:23,328
And I hope not to be scraping
one of you up.
703
00:50:23,680 --> 00:50:26,650
But if I do have to,
and you're inside the target...
704
00:50:27,160 --> 00:50:28,844
please know I'll be very impressed.
705
00:50:29,040 --> 00:50:30,451
- Fuck!
-Oh, shit!
706
00:50:34,320 --> 00:50:36,004
Everybody listen, I've got a plan!
707
00:50:37,720 --> 00:50:40,690
Pair off!
Grab the closest person to them.
708
00:50:43,320 --> 00:50:44,526
Rufus, come on!
709
00:50:44,720 --> 00:50:45,642
Fuck!
710
00:50:46,520 --> 00:50:47,362
Rufus!
711
00:50:47,840 --> 00:50:49,001
Shit! I can't!
712
00:50:52,840 --> 00:50:53,523
Fuck!
713
00:50:54,880 --> 00:50:56,006
Thank God!
714
00:50:56,160 --> 00:50:58,003
Rufus, you wanker!
715
00:50:59,240 --> 00:51:00,651
Shit, we're an odd number now!
716
00:51:01,720 --> 00:51:02,801
Quick, make a circle!
717
00:51:02,960 --> 00:51:04,689
Fuck, he's right! Boys, let's do it.
718
00:51:09,400 --> 00:51:11,482
We pull our cords one by one!
719
00:51:11,640 --> 00:51:12,880
When we know who's fucked...
720
00:51:13,040 --> 00:51:14,371
the person on their right grabs them.
721
00:51:16,160 --> 00:51:17,400
Okay, Eggsy
722
00:51:17,880 --> 00:51:18,881
Good plan, Eggsy
723
00:51:19,040 --> 00:51:21,202
You have 30 seconds.
Come on now, hurry.
724
00:51:21,360 --> 00:51:22,361
Me first!
725
00:51:24,880 --> 00:51:25,722
Fuck!
726
00:51:25,880 --> 00:51:27,211
Yes!
727
00:51:29,240 --> 00:51:31,686
Okay, me next.
728
00:51:33,680 --> 00:51:35,205
See you on the ground, boys.
729
00:51:39,040 --> 00:51:40,041
Now me.
730
00:51:43,920 --> 00:51:44,762
Fuck!
731
00:51:49,400 --> 00:51:50,208
Roxy---
732
00:51:50,360 --> 00:51:52,044
no matter what happens now,
I've got you, all right?
733
00:51:55,920 --> 00:51:57,206
Okay, Eggsy
734
00:51:57,360 --> 00:51:58,521
- Yours first, okay?
-Yep.
735
00:52:11,720 --> 00:52:12,607
Shit!
736
00:52:20,400 --> 00:52:21,640
Shit!
737
00:52:23,760 --> 00:52:24,443
Shit!
738
00:52:26,440 --> 00:52:27,123
Rox!
739
00:52:30,880 --> 00:52:32,006
Fuck.
740
00:52:48,320 --> 00:52:50,527
Hugo, Digby-
741
00:52:50,680 --> 00:52:53,490
You don't land in the K,
you're not in the K.
742
00:52:53,640 --> 00:52:55,961
Rufus, you opened too soon.
743
00:52:56,120 --> 00:52:57,485
You were all over the radar.
744
00:52:57,640 --> 00:52:59,483
All three of you,
pack your bags, go home.
745
00:53:01,600 --> 00:53:03,807
Eggsy, Roxy, congratulations.
746
00:53:04,120 --> 00:53:05,770
You set a new record.
747
00:53:05,920 --> 00:53:07,160
Opening at 300 feet...
748
00:53:07,320 --> 00:53:08,367
that's pretty ballsy.
749
00:53:08,520 --> 00:53:11,046
Well done for completing another task.
Fall out.
750
00:53:12,160 --> 00:53:13,161
Sorry, sir.
751
00:53:13,320 --> 00:53:15,004
But why the fuck did you
choose me as the gimp?
752
00:53:15,160 --> 00:53:16,366
Am I the expendable candidate?
753
00:53:16,520 --> 00:53:19,126
No,no,no.
You don't talk to me like that.
754
00:53:19,280 --> 00:53:21,487
You have a complaint, you come here
and you whisper it in my ear.
755
00:53:28,320 --> 00:53:31,051
You need to take
that chip off your shoulder.
756
00:54:02,040 --> 00:54:04,520
Mr. DeVere.
It's a pleasure to meet you.
757
00:54:05,160 --> 00:54:07,891
I'm awfully sorry.
I seem to have my dates muddled up.
758
00:54:08,040 --> 00:54:10,930
No,no,no.
I cancelled the gala because of you.
759
00:54:11,240 --> 00:54:13,049
Anybody willing to donate that much...
760
00:54:13,200 --> 00:54:15,362
deserves their own dinner.
Come in!
761
00:54:17,000 --> 00:54:18,001
Thank you.
762
00:54:19,880 --> 00:54:22,406
Got to admit,
I was really intrigued to meet you.
763
00:54:22,560 --> 00:54:24,403
There aren't many billionaires
I don't know.
764
00:54:24,560 --> 00:54:25,561
I don't doubt it.
765
00:54:25,720 --> 00:54:28,724
And, obviously,
I had my people look into your affairs...
766
00:54:28,880 --> 00:54:30,609
and that's some pretty old money
you're from.
767
00:54:30,760 --> 00:54:31,602
How'd your folks make it?
768
00:54:32,240 --> 00:54:35,244
Property, mostly.
Property and the markets.
769
00:54:35,400 --> 00:54:37,448
Nothing questionable,
if that's your concern.
770
00:54:37,600 --> 00:54:40,365
Look, I'm just into finding out
what caliber person you are.
771
00:54:40,520 --> 00:54:41,362
I'm sure you understand that.
772
00:54:41,920 --> 00:54:42,967
I most certainly do.
773
00:54:43,120 --> 00:54:44,610
- Hope you're hungry.
-I'm famished.
774
00:54:44,800 --> 00:54:45,847
Good.
775
00:54:45,920 --> 00:54:46,921
Grab a seat.
776
00:55:08,680 --> 00:55:09,761
I'll have the Big Mac, please.
777
00:55:09,920 --> 00:55:11,126
Great choice.
778
00:55:11,280 --> 00:55:14,682
But nothing beats two cheeseburgers
with secret sauce.
779
00:55:14,840 --> 00:55:16,649
Goes great with this '45 Lafite.
780
00:55:16,800 --> 00:55:17,801
A classic pairing.
781
00:55:18,240 --> 00:55:21,244
And may I suggest Twinkies
and a 1937 Chéteau d'Yquem for pudding?
782
00:55:22,080 --> 00:55:23,445
I like it.
783
00:55:24,040 --> 00:55:27,840
So, you want to donate to my foundation.
784
00:55:28,000 --> 00:55:31,322
You are aware that I wound things
down in that area, right?
785
00:55:31,480 --> 00:55:34,404
Climate change is a threat,
which affects us all, Mr. Valentine.
786
00:55:34,600 --> 00:55:37,729
And you're one of the few powerful men
who seems to share my concerns.
787
00:55:37,880 --> 00:55:40,565
No, I shut things down,
because I wasn't getting anywhere.
788
00:55:40,720 --> 00:55:43,564
Every bit of research
kept pointing to the same thing.
789
00:55:43,720 --> 00:55:45,085
That carbon emissions
are a red herring...
790
00:55:45,240 --> 00:55:48,926
and that we're past the point of no return
no matter what remedial actions we take?
791
00:55:49,320 --> 00:55:50,924
You know your shit.
792
00:55:51,080 --> 00:55:54,687
I sometimes envy the blissful ignorance
of those less well versed in their...
793
00:55:55,240 --> 00:55:56,446
"shit."
794
00:55:57,480 --> 00:55:59,050
As Professor Arnold always said...
795
00:55:59,600 --> 00:56:02,046
"Humankind is the only virus
cursed to live...
796
00:56:02,200 --> 00:56:05,443
"with the horrifying knowledge
of its host's fragile mortality."
797
00:56:06,680 --> 00:56:09,251
You know, not a lot of people
knew about him.
798
00:56:11,960 --> 00:56:14,327
You like spy movies, Mr. DeVere?
799
00:56:18,000 --> 00:56:21,049
Nowadays, they're all a little
serious for my taste.
800
00:56:21,200 --> 00:56:22,167
But the old ones...
801
00:56:22,960 --> 00:56:24,200
Marvelous.
802
00:56:24,400 --> 00:56:26,641
Give me a far-fetched
theatrical plot any day.
803
00:56:26,800 --> 00:56:30,327
The old Bond movies. Oh, man!
804
00:56:30,480 --> 00:56:34,007
When I was a kid, that was my dream job.
805
00:56:34,800 --> 00:56:36,404
Gentleman spy.
806
00:56:36,760 --> 00:56:40,128
I always felt the old Bond films
were only as good as the villain.
807
00:56:40,480 --> 00:56:44,610
As a child, I rather fancied a future
as a colorful megalomaniac.
808
00:56:46,480 --> 00:56:49,802
What a shame we both had to grow up.
809
00:56:54,400 --> 00:56:55,640
Bon appétit.
810
00:56:58,160 --> 00:57:01,130
Just give me a couple of days
to think over your proposal.
811
00:57:01,280 --> 00:57:02,884
I'll have my people
get in touch with yours...
812
00:57:03,040 --> 00:57:04,565
and it's all good.
813
00:57:04,720 --> 00:57:08,247
And thank you for such a happy meal.
814
00:57:13,600 --> 00:57:14,965
Well, want me to follow him?
815
00:57:15,160 --> 00:57:16,286
Nah.
816
00:57:16,560 --> 00:57:19,006
I put a nano tracker gel in the wine.
817
00:57:19,200 --> 00:57:22,204
We'll know his every move
for the next 24 hours.
818
00:57:22,360 --> 00:57:24,931
Finally find out who he works for.
819
00:57:26,480 --> 00:57:28,448
Valentine didn't let me
out of his sight.
820
00:57:28,600 --> 00:57:31,126
All I got was this on the way in.
821
00:57:35,240 --> 00:57:38,323
South Glade Mission Church
is a hate group based in Kentucky.
822
00:57:39,200 --> 00:57:40,804
FBI have been monitoring them for years.
823
00:57:40,960 --> 00:57:42,769
But you think Valentine is a supporter?
824
00:57:42,920 --> 00:57:46,208
No evidence yet of a direct connection,
but I'll keep looking.
825
00:57:47,080 --> 00:57:48,491
By the way...
826
00:57:48,640 --> 00:57:53,680
our ever-growing list of missing persons
now includes Scandinavian royalty.
827
00:57:54,080 --> 00:57:56,811
Royal Crown Princess Tilde.
828
00:57:58,880 --> 00:58:01,724
Just let me out, you psycho!
829
00:58:01,880 --> 00:58:04,724
I told you, you're free to go
any time you want.
830
00:58:04,880 --> 00:58:07,167
As long as you agree to my conditions.
831
00:58:07,560 --> 00:58:09,210
I don't agree...
832
00:58:09,360 --> 00:58:12,091
and I am never ever going to agree!
833
00:58:12,240 --> 00:58:13,480
Tough shit.
834
00:58:13,920 --> 00:58:14,921
Bitch.
835
00:58:17,080 --> 00:58:18,844
I want to speak to the British Council!
836
00:58:19,440 --> 00:58:23,889
The list of missing celebrities and dignitaries
has continued to grow in recent weeks...
837
00:58:24,040 --> 00:58:27,931
and world leaders are coming under
increasing pressure to provide answers.
838
00:58:28,080 --> 00:58:31,846
We are doing everything in our power
to find Princess Tilde.
839
00:58:32,000 --> 00:58:35,163
You know,
governments and security forces worldwide...
840
00:58:35,360 --> 00:58:39,046
are working together to find the person
behind these abductions.
841
00:58:39,240 --> 00:58:40,890
In other news,
people all over the world...
842
00:58:41,040 --> 00:58:45,443
continue to wait in line day and night
to get their free SIM cards.
843
00:58:45,600 --> 00:58:48,080
Mrs. P, did you get one?
844
00:58:48,240 --> 00:58:50,811
Yeah, I've been queuing up all day.
845
00:58:51,000 --> 00:58:55,244
This unprecedented giveaway
by the philanthropist Richmond Valentine...
846
00:58:55,400 --> 00:58:58,244
has already seen
over a billion cards distributed.
847
00:58:58,400 --> 00:58:59,640
At ease.
848
00:59:01,800 --> 00:59:04,201
So you thought we were done
for the day, huh?
849
00:59:05,000 --> 00:59:06,206
Well, we're not.
850
00:59:07,840 --> 00:59:09,842
- A party?
-Tonight, in London.
851
00:59:11,600 --> 00:59:13,921
- Who's this?
-Your target.
852
00:59:14,080 --> 00:59:16,048
Your mission
is to use your NLP training...
853
00:59:16,200 --> 00:59:18,601
to win over the individual
on the photograph in your envelope.
854
00:59:18,760 --> 00:59:20,285
And when I say "win over"...
855
00:59:20,600 --> 00:59:22,250
I do mean in the biblical sense.
856
00:59:22,400 --> 00:59:23,561
Easy.
857
00:59:24,480 --> 00:59:26,528
Posh girls love a bit of rough.
858
00:59:26,680 --> 00:59:28,330
We'll see about that, yeah?
859
00:59:28,600 --> 00:59:30,409
We certainly will.
860
00:59:35,600 --> 00:59:36,567
Hi!
861
00:59:36,760 --> 00:59:40,048
Sorry, I just had to come over
and say, amazing eyes.
862
00:59:40,400 --> 00:59:41,640
Are you wearing color contacts?
863
00:59:41,800 --> 00:59:44,007
- No!
-You so are.
864
00:59:44,160 --> 00:59:46,561
Oh, my God, negging! That's hilarious.
865
00:59:46,720 --> 00:59:48,609
I haven't heard anyone try that
since the noughties.
866
00:59:48,760 --> 00:59:49,886
Excuse me?
867
00:59:50,040 --> 00:59:50,927
"Negging"
868
00:59:51,080 --> 00:59:55,051
Saying something negative to a pretty girl
in order to undermine her social value.
869
00:59:55,200 --> 00:59:57,282
It's supposed to make you
want to win his approval.
870
00:59:57,840 --> 01:00:00,889
Absurdly basic
neuro-linguistic programming technique.
871
01:00:01,040 --> 01:00:03,202
Is it just me, or does this champagne
taste a little bit funny?
872
01:00:03,360 --> 01:00:05,249
- It's an acquired taste, mate.
-I think it's just cheap.
873
01:00:05,400 --> 01:00:07,243
Get one of these instead.
They're delicious.
874
01:00:07,400 --> 01:00:10,131
If you're into seduction techniques,
this guy is textbook.
875
01:00:10,280 --> 01:00:13,045
See what he just did?
It's called an opinion opener.
876
01:00:13,200 --> 01:00:14,690
He got you talking
with a neutral question...
877
01:00:14,880 --> 01:00:16,564
got all of us involved
in the conversation...
878
01:00:16,720 --> 01:00:18,404
so that you craved individual attention.
879
01:00:19,120 --> 01:00:20,451
No, I'm just saying
the champagne tastes rank.
880
01:00:20,600 --> 01:00:22,364
Lady Sophie Montague-Herring.
881
01:00:22,520 --> 01:00:23,851
Phone call for you at reception.
882
01:00:24,000 --> 01:00:25,729
- Be right back.
-We'll see you in a bit, yeah?
883
01:00:25,880 --> 01:00:27,245
See you in a bit.
884
01:00:27,400 --> 01:00:29,243
Budge up, Rox. I'm feeling a bit rough.
885
01:00:29,400 --> 01:00:30,925
- Are you all right?
-No.
886
01:00:31,080 --> 01:00:32,127
Sorry to eavesdrop...
887
01:00:32,280 --> 01:00:35,841
but there's a much easier way
to guarantee getting someone home.
888
01:00:36,040 --> 01:00:37,610
Rohypnol.
889
01:00:39,760 --> 01:00:41,524
Or even something stronger.
890
01:00:59,080 --> 01:01:00,764
Who the fuck are you?
891
01:01:01,320 --> 01:01:02,765
Where am I?
892
01:01:05,160 --> 01:01:06,321
This knife...
893
01:01:06,480 --> 01:01:08,562
can save your life.
894
01:01:12,800 --> 01:01:13,801
Fuck!
895
01:01:14,200 --> 01:01:17,010
My employer's got two questions
for you, Eggsy.
896
01:01:17,160 --> 01:01:19,049
What the fuck is Kingsman?
897
01:01:19,200 --> 01:01:20,850
And who's Harry Hart?
898
01:01:21,000 --> 01:01:22,843
I don't know who the fuck that is!
899
01:01:23,000 --> 01:01:23,808
Shit!
900
01:01:23,960 --> 01:01:27,760
Eggsy, I just killed two of your friends
who gave me the same bullshit answer!
901
01:01:28,400 --> 01:01:29,322
Fuck!
902
01:01:29,760 --> 01:01:32,331
Just cut the fucking ropes, please!
903
01:01:32,480 --> 01:01:33,527
Hey, Eggsy!
904
01:01:33,680 --> 01:01:35,045
Is Kingsman worth dying for?
905
01:01:37,240 --> 01:01:38,605
FUCK you!
906
01:01:52,920 --> 01:01:54,206
Congratulations.
907
01:01:54,360 --> 01:01:55,600
Bloody well done.
908
01:01:57,880 --> 01:01:59,484
How did the others do?
909
01:01:59,640 --> 01:02:01,449
Roxy passed with flying colors.
910
01:02:01,960 --> 01:02:04,247
Charlie's up next. Want to watch?
911
01:02:05,640 --> 01:02:07,085
Yeah, all right.
912
01:02:09,600 --> 01:02:11,648
Is Kingsman really worth dying for?
913
01:02:11,800 --> 01:02:13,165
No, it fucking isn't!
914
01:02:13,320 --> 01:02:15,163
Shit, I'll tell you what you want.
Please!
915
01:02:15,320 --> 01:02:16,606
Chester King is Arthur.
916
01:02:16,760 --> 01:02:19,001
Arthur's head of a spy agency.
It's called Kingsman.
917
01:02:19,160 --> 01:02:20,685
- Get me out of here!
-Thank you, Charlie.
918
01:02:20,880 --> 01:02:22,211
Much appreciated.
919
01:02:22,360 --> 01:02:24,761
Come on!
That wasn't the fucking deal!
920
01:02:25,160 --> 01:02:27,447
Fuck!
921
01:02:34,440 --> 01:02:36,761
I had such high hopes for you.
922
01:02:36,960 --> 01:02:38,883
You're a bloody disgrace.
923
01:02:39,040 --> 01:02:40,041
Arthur, I'm sorry.
924
01:02:40,880 --> 01:02:42,211
At least untie me.
925
01:02:42,560 --> 01:02:43,891
Untie yourself.
926
01:02:45,560 --> 01:02:47,722
Arthur, please.
927
01:02:49,040 --> 01:02:51,611
I'm the fucking son of the... Shit!
928
01:02:51,760 --> 01:02:54,286
Anyone? Hello?
929
01:02:54,440 --> 01:02:57,011
Galahad, Percival, congratulations.
930
01:02:57,280 --> 01:03:00,090
Your candidates have reached
the final stage of the testing process.
931
01:03:00,240 --> 01:03:03,801
As tradition allows,
you now have 24 hours to spend with them.
932
01:03:04,400 --> 01:03:07,563
Eggsy, you should know your
father reached this point.
933
01:03:08,320 --> 01:03:09,321
From now on...
934
01:03:09,800 --> 01:03:11,245
there are no safety nets, understood?
935
01:03:15,120 --> 01:03:16,007
Good. Dismissed.
936
01:03:19,960 --> 01:03:22,088
Charlie, time to go home.
937
01:03:22,240 --> 01:03:23,605
Fuck you.
938
01:03:24,000 --> 01:03:26,287
Fucking dad's gonna hear about this!
939
01:03:28,440 --> 01:03:29,441
"To pee or not to pee?"
940
01:03:31,680 --> 01:03:32,522
That was the headline...
941
01:03:32,600 --> 01:03:35,285
the day after I defused
a dirty bomb in Paris.
942
01:03:35,920 --> 01:03:37,604
"Germany, 1, England, 5."
943
01:03:37,760 --> 01:03:38,841
Missed that game.
944
01:03:39,040 --> 01:03:42,010
I was breaking up an undercover
spy ring at the Pentagon.
945
01:03:47,480 --> 01:03:48,811
My first mission.
946
01:03:48,960 --> 01:03:50,450
Foiled the assassination
of Margaret Thatcher.
947
01:03:51,960 --> 01:03:53,291
Not everybody would
thank you for that one.
948
01:03:53,720 --> 01:03:56,451
The point is, Eggsy,
nobody thanked me for any of them.
949
01:03:57,120 --> 01:04:00,681
Front page news on all these occasions
was celebrity nonsense.
950
01:04:00,960 --> 01:04:04,521
Because it's the nature of Kingsman
that our achievements remain secret.
951
01:04:04,960 --> 01:04:08,328
A gentleman's name should appear
in the newspaper only three times.
952
01:04:08,480 --> 01:04:10,801
When he's born, when he marries,
and when he dies.
953
01:04:10,960 --> 01:04:14,169
And we are, first and foremost,
gentlemen.
954
01:04:14,480 --> 01:04:15,811
That's me fucked then.
955
01:04:16,800 --> 01:04:18,689
It's like Charlie said. I'm just a pleb.
956
01:04:18,840 --> 01:04:19,841
Nonsense.
957
01:04:20,040 --> 01:04:22,520
Being a gentleman has nothing to do
with the circumstances of one's birth.
958
01:04:23,480 --> 01:04:25,323
Being a gentleman
is something one learns.
959
01:04:26,080 --> 01:04:27,923
Yeah, but how?
960
01:04:28,840 --> 01:04:30,080
All right, first lesson.
961
01:04:30,240 --> 01:04:31,685
You should've asked me
before you took a seat.
962
01:04:33,520 --> 01:04:34,681
Second lesson...
963
01:04:35,680 --> 01:04:37,011
how to make a proper martini.
964
01:04:38,000 --> 01:04:40,082
Yes, Harry.
965
01:04:42,680 --> 01:04:45,729
Goddamn it! This fucking hurts!
966
01:04:46,200 --> 01:04:48,726
You're the one who asked
for a biometric security system.
967
01:04:48,880 --> 01:04:50,006
What's wrong with a simple switch?
968
01:04:50,160 --> 01:04:51,161
A simple switch?
969
01:04:51,360 --> 01:04:55,001
This is an extremely dangerous machine.
970
01:04:55,200 --> 01:04:59,728
It should only be operated by someone
as responsible and sane as me.
971
01:04:59,920 --> 01:05:02,207
Bad shit could happen
if this falls into the wrong hands.
972
01:05:05,400 --> 01:05:07,084
We done here? Shit!
973
01:05:07,240 --> 01:05:09,891
No. Now this one.
974
01:05:10,040 --> 01:05:11,087
For the test at the church.
975
01:05:11,240 --> 01:05:13,083
This one just has a short range.
976
01:05:13,240 --> 01:05:14,810
A simple switch will do.
977
01:05:20,760 --> 01:05:23,650
So are you gonna teach me how to
talk proper, like in My Fair Lady?
978
01:05:23,800 --> 01:05:25,245
Don't be absurd.
979
01:05:25,560 --> 01:05:28,086
Being a gentleman has nothing
to do with one's accent.
980
01:05:28,240 --> 01:05:30,561
It's about being at ease
in one's own skin.
981
01:05:30,720 --> 01:05:32,290
As Hemingway said,
"There is nothing noble...
982
01:05:32,440 --> 01:05:34,807
"in being superior to your fellow man.
983
01:05:35,240 --> 01:05:38,722
"True nobility is being superior
to your former self."
984
01:05:42,440 --> 01:05:45,762
Now, the first thing every
gentleman needs is a good suit.
985
01:05:45,960 --> 01:05:49,248
By which I mean, a bespoke suit.
Never off-the-peg.
986
01:05:49,400 --> 01:05:51,801
And Kingsman suits
are always bulletproof.
987
01:05:51,960 --> 01:05:54,770
So let's get you measured,
and then, whether you get the job or not...
988
01:05:54,920 --> 01:05:59,289
you'll have a lasting and useful memento
of your time at Kingsman.
989
01:05:59,440 --> 01:06:03,081
I'm so sorry, sir, but a gentleman
is completing his fitting.
990
01:06:03,240 --> 01:06:05,447
Fitting Room Two is available.
991
01:06:05,600 --> 01:06:09,605
One does not use Fitting Room Two
when one is popping one's cherry.
992
01:06:10,680 --> 01:06:13,490
Perhaps I'll show you Fitting Room Three
while we wait.
993
01:06:23,840 --> 01:06:25,126
So we going up or down?
994
01:06:25,280 --> 01:06:26,441
Neither.
995
01:06:27,680 --> 01:06:28,681
Is this it?
996
01:06:28,880 --> 01:06:31,963
Of course not.
Pull the hook on your left.
997
01:06:39,200 --> 01:06:39,962
Oh, yes.
998
01:06:40,440 --> 01:06:42,647
Very, very nice.
999
01:06:45,680 --> 01:06:48,160
You're going to need a pair of shoes
to go with your suit.
1000
01:06:48,320 --> 01:06:52,484
An oxford is any formal shoe
with open lacing.
1001
01:06:52,640 --> 01:06:55,849
This additional decorative piece
is called broguing.
1002
01:06:56,000 --> 01:06:57,206
"Oxfords not brogues."
1003
01:06:57,360 --> 01:06:58,964
Words to live by, Eggsy.
1004
01:06:59,200 --> 01:07:01,806
Words to live by. Try a pair.
1005
01:07:02,560 --> 01:07:04,324
Your weapon scores are excellent,
by the way.
1006
01:07:05,480 --> 01:07:08,723
These you are familiar with,
and this is our standard issue pistol.
1007
01:07:08,920 --> 01:07:10,524
It's quite unique, as you'll see.
1008
01:07:10,680 --> 01:07:14,048
It also fires a shotgun cartridge
for use in messy close-range situations.
1009
01:07:14,200 --> 01:07:15,645
- How do they feel?
-Yeah, good.
1010
01:07:15,840 --> 01:07:17,171
Now do your very best impersonation...
1011
01:07:17,320 --> 01:07:19,004
of a German aristocrat's
formal greeting.
1012
01:07:22,520 --> 01:07:23,760
No, Eggsy
1013
01:07:27,880 --> 01:07:29,120
That is sick.
1014
01:07:30,160 --> 01:07:32,128
In the old days,
they had a phone in the heel as well.
1015
01:07:32,280 --> 01:07:33,361
How do I get it back in?
1016
01:07:33,520 --> 01:07:37,411
Well, it's coated in one of the fastest
acting neurotoxins known to man...
1017
01:07:37,560 --> 01:07:39,050
so very carefully.
1018
01:07:40,960 --> 01:07:44,681
Now, I've had a lot of fun with this.
1019
01:07:44,840 --> 01:07:47,844
One of our finest examples
of chemical engineering.
1020
01:07:48,040 --> 01:07:50,520
A poison, harmless when ingested...
1021
01:07:50,680 --> 01:07:52,569
but at a time convenient to you...
1022
01:07:52,720 --> 01:07:56,725
can be remotely activated. Primed.
1023
01:07:58,200 --> 01:07:59,087
Lethal.
1024
01:08:00,400 --> 01:08:02,528
What about these? What do these do?
1025
01:08:02,920 --> 01:08:04,888
- Electrocute you?
-Don't be ridiculous.
1026
01:08:05,040 --> 01:08:06,883
- It's a hand grenade.
-Shut up!
1027
01:08:07,040 --> 01:08:09,327
If you want to electrocute someone,
you'll need a signet ring.
1028
01:08:09,520 --> 01:08:11,602
A gentleman traditionally
wears the signet on his left hand.
1029
01:08:11,760 --> 01:08:14,730
But a Kingsman wears it on
whichever hand happens to be dominant.
1030
01:08:14,880 --> 01:08:16,211
Touch the contact behind the ring...
1031
01:08:16,400 --> 01:08:17,526
it delivers 50,000 volts.
1032
01:08:19,440 --> 01:08:21,886
And what about them?
What makes them so special?
1033
01:08:22,040 --> 01:08:23,041
Nothing.
1034
01:08:23,240 --> 01:08:25,925
That technology has caught up
with the spy world.
1035
01:08:26,920 --> 01:08:28,729
Put it back, Eggsy.
1036
01:08:31,120 --> 01:08:32,565
Perfect timing.
1037
01:08:32,720 --> 01:08:34,609
The gentleman's just finished.
1038
01:08:39,760 --> 01:08:41,091
Mr. DeVere!
1039
01:08:42,560 --> 01:08:44,244
What a coincidence.
1040
01:08:44,880 --> 01:08:47,770
You are totally the reason I'm here.
1041
01:08:47,960 --> 01:08:49,086
When you left my house...
1042
01:08:49,240 --> 01:08:53,040
I was thirsting for that dope-ass
smoking jacket you had on.
1043
01:08:53,200 --> 01:08:54,725
And since I'm going to Royal Ascot...
1044
01:08:54,880 --> 01:08:56,928
and, apparently,
you need one of these penguin suits...
1045
01:08:57,480 --> 01:08:58,641
here I am.
1046
01:08:59,200 --> 01:09:00,247
What are you doing here?
1047
01:09:00,480 --> 01:09:01,811
What's up, man?
1048
01:09:01,960 --> 01:09:03,086
Richmond Valentine.
1049
01:09:03,440 --> 01:09:06,444
This is my new valet.
I was just introducing him to my tailor.
1050
01:09:06,600 --> 01:09:09,444
Another coincidence. So am I.
1051
01:09:09,800 --> 01:09:11,882
Have you had any chance
to think further on my proposal?
1052
01:09:12,080 --> 01:09:13,081
Most definitely.
1053
01:09:13,280 --> 01:09:16,284
My people will be getting
in touch with you very soon.
1054
01:09:16,440 --> 01:09:17,930
I guarantee it.
1055
01:09:18,600 --> 01:09:19,965
A word of advice.
1056
01:09:20,280 --> 01:09:22,487
Ascot requires top hat.
1057
01:09:23,480 --> 01:09:26,643
I might suggest Lock and Co. Hatters.
1058
01:09:27,440 --> 01:09:28,487
Saint James's.
1059
01:09:28,680 --> 01:09:29,920
"Lox" as in smoked fish?
1060
01:09:30,240 --> 01:09:32,811
As in, "locked up."
1061
01:09:35,840 --> 01:09:38,764
I have trouble understanding
you people sometimes.
1062
01:09:39,360 --> 01:09:41,442
You all talk so funny.
1063
01:09:48,440 --> 01:09:51,523
Gentlemen, would you look after him,
please?
1064
01:10:04,040 --> 01:10:05,326
Now this...
1065
01:10:05,480 --> 01:10:07,369
is a dope-ass top hat.
1066
01:10:09,040 --> 01:10:12,328
Gazelle, let's go ascoting.
1067
01:10:13,840 --> 01:10:15,046
Your hat looks fine, Gazelle.
1068
01:10:15,200 --> 01:10:18,044
Come on!
Don't make me late for the queen.
1069
01:10:18,800 --> 01:10:21,485
Come on, Gazelle! We're gonna be late.
1070
01:10:21,640 --> 01:10:23,165
How far is Ascot?
1071
01:10:23,640 --> 01:10:24,687
How far?
1072
01:10:28,880 --> 01:10:30,211
Merlin said you wanted to see me, sir?
1073
01:10:30,680 --> 01:10:32,205
Sit down.
1074
01:10:37,400 --> 01:10:38,640
Pretty dog.
1075
01:10:39,080 --> 01:10:40,366
What's his name?
1076
01:10:40,520 --> 01:10:41,521
J.B.
1077
01:10:41,680 --> 01:10:43,887
- As in "James Bond"?
-No.
1078
01:10:44,160 --> 01:10:45,650
"Jason Bourne"?
1079
01:10:45,840 --> 01:10:47,842
No. "Jack Bauer."
1080
01:10:48,160 --> 01:10:49,207
Oh!
1081
01:10:49,880 --> 01:10:50,881
Bravo.
1082
01:10:51,520 --> 01:10:52,681
It pains me to admit it...
1083
01:10:52,840 --> 01:10:55,730
but I think that one day,
you might be as good a spy...
1084
01:10:55,880 --> 01:10:57,325
as any of them.
1085
01:11:04,400 --> 01:11:06,050
Take it.
1086
01:11:12,880 --> 01:11:14,120
Shoot the dog.
1087
01:11:20,920 --> 01:11:22,206
This weapon is live.
1088
01:11:25,400 --> 01:11:26,287
Shoot the dog.
1089
01:12:05,080 --> 01:12:06,127
Give me the gun.
1090
01:12:17,440 --> 01:12:19,169
At least the girl's got balls.
1091
01:12:22,800 --> 01:12:23,801
Get out.
1092
01:12:24,480 --> 01:12:26,482
I knew you couldn't make it.
1093
01:12:29,760 --> 01:12:31,091
Go home.
1094
01:12:32,600 --> 01:12:35,444
Merlin, send in Roxy, please.
1095
01:12:59,200 --> 01:13:02,204
Welcome to Kingsman...
1096
01:13:03,160 --> 01:13:04,286
Lancelot.
1097
01:13:27,640 --> 01:13:28,641
Mum!
1098
01:13:29,080 --> 01:13:30,206
E99Sy!
1099
01:13:30,400 --> 01:13:31,686
Oh, God. Where have you been?
1100
01:13:31,880 --> 01:13:33,882
I've been so worried about you.
1101
01:13:35,840 --> 01:13:39,083
Oh, my days. Look how big you've grown!
1102
01:13:44,880 --> 01:13:46,928
- Where is he?
-I'm fine.
1103
01:13:47,080 --> 01:13:48,764
Eggsy, please, just don't get involved.
1104
01:13:48,920 --> 01:13:50,604
I should never have left you
on your own.
1105
01:13:50,760 --> 01:13:53,161
This stops right now.
1106
01:13:53,360 --> 01:13:54,441
I'll be right back.
1107
01:13:54,600 --> 01:13:56,204
Eggsy
1108
01:13:58,560 --> 01:13:59,891
Oi, Dean!
1109
01:14:00,880 --> 01:14:02,723
Mugsy, so you're back.
1110
01:14:02,880 --> 01:14:04,769
What, you gone and nicked
a fucking taxi, now?
1111
01:14:04,960 --> 01:14:06,371
Yeah.
1112
01:14:06,520 --> 01:14:08,568
Can I have a word
about my mum's black eye?
1113
01:14:09,560 --> 01:14:11,289
You want to have a word with me,
you get out of that cab...
1114
01:14:11,440 --> 01:14:13,124
I'll knock you straight back down
on your fucking arse.
1115
01:14:15,360 --> 01:14:17,362
Tell your muppets to go inside,
then I'll get out.
1116
01:14:19,640 --> 01:14:21,563
Go on, lads. It'll be two hits.
1117
01:14:21,720 --> 01:14:23,768
Me hitting him, him hitting the floor.
1118
01:14:24,240 --> 01:14:26,607
Come on, then, you prick.
1119
01:14:26,760 --> 01:14:28,649
Let's see what you got.
Want a bit of me?
1120
01:14:28,800 --> 01:14:29,608
What are you doing?
1121
01:14:29,760 --> 01:14:30,647
No,no,no!
1122
01:14:30,800 --> 01:14:31,608
Get out of the fucking car!
1123
01:14:31,760 --> 01:14:33,649
What are you doing?
Where you going, you mug?
1124
01:14:33,800 --> 01:14:35,086
Go on, you got no bollocks!
1125
01:14:35,880 --> 01:14:37,882
Come on, bruv, he hit my fucking mum!
1126
01:14:38,040 --> 01:14:39,451
Come back when you've grown a pair!
1127
01:14:39,600 --> 01:14:40,487
Mugs!”
1128
01:15:03,360 --> 01:15:04,361
You throw away...
1129
01:15:04,560 --> 01:15:08,531
your biggest opportunity
over a fucking dog.
1130
01:15:09,520 --> 01:15:11,841
And then you humiliate me
by stealing my boss's car.
1131
01:15:12,080 --> 01:15:14,162
You shot a dog
just to get a fucking job.
1132
01:15:14,600 --> 01:15:15,601
Yes, I did.
1133
01:15:18,600 --> 01:15:22,491
And Mr. Pickle here reminds me of that
every time I take a shit!
1134
01:15:24,080 --> 01:15:26,560
You shot your dog and had it stuffed?
1135
01:15:26,720 --> 01:15:27,960
You fucking freak.
1136
01:15:28,120 --> 01:15:29,485
No, I shot my dog...
1137
01:15:29,640 --> 01:15:31,324
and then I brought him home
and continued to care for him...
1138
01:15:31,480 --> 01:15:33,926
for the next 11 years
until he died of pancreatitis.
1139
01:15:34,640 --> 01:15:37,291
- What?
-it was a blank, Eggsy.
1140
01:15:38,440 --> 01:15:40,124
It was a fucking blank.
1141
01:15:40,920 --> 01:15:42,285
Remember Amelia?
1142
01:15:42,440 --> 01:15:43,202
Yeah.
1143
01:15:43,360 --> 01:15:44,486
She didn't drown.
1144
01:15:44,680 --> 01:15:47,411
She works in our tech department in Berlin.
She's fine.
1145
01:15:47,600 --> 01:15:48,806
Limits must be tested...
1146
01:15:48,960 --> 01:15:51,611
a Kingsman only condones
the risking of a life to save another.
1147
01:15:51,760 --> 01:15:54,730
Like my dad saved your life
even though your fuck-up cost his.
1148
01:15:54,880 --> 01:15:56,564
Or have you got him
stuffed here and all?
1149
01:15:58,600 --> 01:16:01,683
Can't you see that everything I've done
has been about trying to repay him?
1150
01:16:07,480 --> 01:16:09,164
Harry, listen to this.
1151
01:16:09,320 --> 01:16:11,084
Valentine is at last
saying something of note.
1152
01:16:11,480 --> 01:16:13,721
Do you know what I love
about pen and paper?
1153
01:16:14,240 --> 01:16:16,720
Nobody can hack into this shit.
1154
01:16:17,160 --> 01:16:20,482
Our worldwide tour
was a complete success.
1155
01:16:20,680 --> 01:16:23,126
We have total coverall.
1156
01:16:23,280 --> 01:16:26,090
Like when all your numbers in bingo
are crossed out.
1157
01:16:26,240 --> 01:16:27,127
BingQ?
1158
01:16:27,280 --> 01:16:30,682
Bingo, the game.
You have played bingo, right?
1159
01:16:31,560 --> 01:16:33,324
Do I look like I play bingo?
1160
01:16:35,560 --> 01:16:36,607
Point is...
1161
01:16:37,240 --> 01:16:41,723
if our tests go well at the church tomorrow,
we are good to go.
1162
01:16:41,880 --> 01:16:44,406
South Glade Mission Church.
1163
01:16:45,320 --> 01:16:47,482
- Merlin, get the plane ready.
- Will do.
1164
01:16:47,640 --> 01:16:49,290
Harry, I'm so sorry.
I'm gonna do whatever--
1165
01:16:49,440 --> 01:16:50,441
You should be.
1166
01:16:50,600 --> 01:16:53,046
You just stay right there.
I'll sort this mess out when I get back.
1167
01:16:59,400 --> 01:17:01,129
And I say to you...
1168
01:17:01,280 --> 01:17:02,520
bear witness!
1169
01:17:02,720 --> 01:17:05,291
Watch the news. Watch the news.
1170
01:17:05,440 --> 01:17:06,771
AIDS!
1171
01:17:07,200 --> 01:17:08,042
Floods!
1172
01:17:08,200 --> 01:17:10,328
The blood of the innocent, spilled!
1173
01:17:10,520 --> 01:17:15,686
And yet, there are those who doubt
this is the wrath of God.
1174
01:17:17,520 --> 01:17:24,210
Our filthy government condones
sodomy, divorce, abortion!
1175
01:17:24,360 --> 01:17:26,886
And yet, some still doubt...
1176
01:17:27,040 --> 01:17:30,931
this is the work of the antichrist!
1177
01:17:31,120 --> 01:17:36,001
You do not have to be
a Jew, a nigger, a whore...
1178
01:17:36,160 --> 01:17:38,925
or an atheistic, science-loving
evolution spouter...
1179
01:17:39,240 --> 01:17:40,685
Charming sermon.
1180
01:17:40,880 --> 01:17:42,530
Can you see Valentine anywhere?
1181
01:17:42,720 --> 01:17:44,131
So, my friends...
1182
01:17:44,280 --> 01:17:47,329
although he is a just God,
he is justly a vengeful one...
1183
01:17:47,480 --> 01:17:50,450
and there can be no turning back...
1184
01:17:50,640 --> 01:17:52,244
from the almighty wrath...
1185
01:17:52,400 --> 01:17:53,890
Are you sure we're out of range?
1186
01:17:54,120 --> 01:17:55,690
We're over 1,000 feet away.
What's wrong?
1187
01:17:55,840 --> 01:17:57,080
What if the calculations are wrong?
1188
01:17:57,240 --> 01:17:58,844
You just have to trust me.
1189
01:18:00,040 --> 01:18:04,523
...Jew, nigger, fag lovers,
and the devil is burning them...
1190
01:18:04,680 --> 01:18:05,966
for all eternity.
1191
01:18:06,160 --> 01:18:07,321
Would you excuse me?
1192
01:18:08,320 --> 01:18:09,162
Where are you going?
1193
01:18:09,960 --> 01:18:11,769
Hey! What's your problem?
1194
01:18:13,360 --> 01:18:14,771
I'm a Catholic whore...
1195
01:18:14,960 --> 01:18:18,521
currently enjoying congress out of wedlock
with my black, Jewish boyfriend...
1196
01:18:18,680 --> 01:18:21,251
who works in a military abortion clinic.
1197
01:18:21,840 --> 01:18:23,171
So, hail Satan...
1198
01:18:23,480 --> 01:18:25,323
and have a lovely afternoon, madam.
1199
01:18:28,720 --> 01:18:30,131
Oh, shit. He's leaving.
1200
01:18:30,280 --> 01:18:31,884
I'm starting the test now.
1201
01:18:32,320 --> 01:18:34,402
Let's hope enough of these freaks
have our SIM cards.
1202
01:18:37,200 --> 01:18:40,090
I kindly ask you to sit down,
my friend!
1203
01:18:40,240 --> 01:18:41,321
Just leave this church!
1204
01:18:41,480 --> 01:18:43,847
You just leave this church
like the infidel you are!
1205
01:18:46,400 --> 01:18:49,609
Satan cannot save you now!
You will eat your babies.
1206
01:18:49,760 --> 01:18:53,287
You will drown in the blood of the Lord!
1207
01:18:53,440 --> 01:18:54,885
He will not save you!
1208
01:19:01,120 --> 01:19:02,121
Holy fuck!
1209
01:19:03,880 --> 01:19:06,042
Shit, I can't watch this. Get over here.
1210
01:19:48,240 --> 01:19:50,242
Jeez! Fuck.
1211
01:19:50,920 --> 01:19:53,048
Galahad, can you hear me?
1212
01:19:53,440 --> 01:19:54,282
Harry!
1213
01:19:54,840 --> 01:19:57,207
Harry, what the heck is going on?
1214
01:19:58,360 --> 01:19:59,850
Could you turn the volume down, please?
1215
01:20:01,160 --> 01:20:03,128
I didn't expect it to be that effective.
1216
01:20:03,280 --> 01:20:04,441
What kind of response are we talking?
1217
01:20:05,320 --> 01:20:06,321
100 percent.
1218
01:20:07,440 --> 01:20:10,444
So, everyone's been affected,
whether they have a SIM card or not.
1219
01:20:10,840 --> 01:20:13,002
And we get the added benefit
of wiping out the Kingsman.
1220
01:20:13,640 --> 01:20:15,483
Not yet.
1221
01:21:10,440 --> 01:21:11,771
You need to see this.
1222
01:23:08,800 --> 01:23:10,643
What did you do to me?
1223
01:23:11,000 --> 01:23:12,604
I had no control.
1224
01:23:13,960 --> 01:23:15,405
I killed all those people.
1225
01:23:17,360 --> 01:23:18,566
I wanted to.
1226
01:23:18,760 --> 01:23:19,841
Clever, isn't it?
1227
01:23:20,000 --> 01:23:22,731
In simple terms,
it's a neurological wave...
1228
01:23:22,880 --> 01:23:24,405
that triggers
the centers of aggression...
1229
01:23:24,600 --> 01:23:26,284
and switches off inhibitors.
1230
01:23:26,840 --> 01:23:29,764
Transmitted through your nasty,
free SIM cards, I assume.
1231
01:23:33,000 --> 01:23:34,889
Do you know what this is like?
1232
01:23:35,080 --> 01:23:38,368
It's like those old movies we both love.
1233
01:23:38,520 --> 01:23:41,603
Now, I'm going to tell you
my whole plan...
1234
01:23:41,760 --> 01:23:45,048
and then I'm going to come up with
some absurd and convoluted way to kill you...
1235
01:23:45,200 --> 01:23:47,806
and you'll find an equally
convoluted way to escape.
1236
01:23:48,880 --> 01:23:50,370
Sounds good to me.
1237
01:23:51,120 --> 01:23:53,248
Well, this ain't that kind of movie.
1238
01:23:56,880 --> 01:23:59,360
No!
1239
01:24:07,520 --> 01:24:09,204
Is he dead?
1240
01:24:09,360 --> 01:24:11,840
That tends to happen
when you shoot someone in the head.
1241
01:24:12,040 --> 01:24:13,166
It feels good, right?
1242
01:24:13,640 --> 01:24:15,722
No, no, it does not feel good.
It feels fucking awful.
1243
01:24:15,880 --> 01:24:18,167
What? You just killed
how many people in that church?
1244
01:24:18,360 --> 01:24:19,327
This is one guy.
1245
01:24:19,480 --> 01:24:21,482
No, no, they killed each other.
1246
01:24:24,360 --> 01:24:26,283
Okay, send out the countdown clock.
1247
01:24:26,440 --> 01:24:29,125
This party starts tomorrow.
1248
01:25:03,760 --> 01:25:05,171
Arthur?
1249
01:25:07,280 --> 01:25:08,770
Are you there?
1250
01:25:09,080 --> 01:25:11,242
Sadly, I am.
1251
01:25:11,600 --> 01:25:15,082
Assemble the Kingsmen.
1252
01:25:18,840 --> 01:25:22,925
Can't you see that everything I've done
has been about trying to repay him?
1253
01:25:43,440 --> 01:25:45,807
I see a young man with potential...
1254
01:25:46,600 --> 01:25:49,285
who wants to do something
good with his life.
1255
01:26:05,960 --> 01:26:08,281
Arthur, Harry's dead.
1256
01:26:08,960 --> 01:26:11,361
Galahad is dead.
1257
01:26:11,560 --> 01:26:13,961
Hence, we have just drunk
a toast to him.
1258
01:26:14,640 --> 01:26:17,166
Well, then you know
what that psycho's doing.
1259
01:26:17,320 --> 01:26:19,971
How many people around the world
have got those SIM cards?
1260
01:26:20,120 --> 01:26:22,521
Valentine can send his signal
to any of them, all of them.
1261
01:26:22,680 --> 01:26:24,728
If they all go homicidal
at the same time then--
1262
01:26:24,880 --> 01:26:27,201
Indeed, and thanks
to Galahad's recordings...
1263
01:26:27,360 --> 01:26:29,966
we have Valentine's confession.
1264
01:26:30,160 --> 01:26:33,528
The intelligence has been passed on
to the relevant authorities.
1265
01:26:33,680 --> 01:26:35,045
Our work is complete...
1266
01:26:35,200 --> 01:26:39,649
and a most distinguished legacy
for our fallen friend, it is, too.
1267
01:26:40,480 --> 01:26:41,641
And that's it?
1268
01:26:42,840 --> 01:26:44,001
Come sit down, boy.
1269
01:26:47,360 --> 01:26:52,366
This is an 1815 Napoleonic brandy.
1270
01:26:53,400 --> 01:26:56,688
And we only drink it
when we lose a Kingsman.
1271
01:26:57,320 --> 01:27:00,369
Galahad was very fond of you.
1272
01:27:02,520 --> 01:27:04,921
And on this occasion...
1273
01:27:05,080 --> 01:27:08,448
I think it's acceptable for us
to bend the rules a little.
1274
01:27:10,840 --> 01:27:12,001
Are these all Kingsmen?
1275
01:27:12,200 --> 01:27:14,521
Yes, they're founder members.
1276
01:27:15,880 --> 01:27:17,962
I want you to join me in a toast.
1277
01:27:20,200 --> 01:27:22,202
To Galahad.
1278
01:27:23,200 --> 01:27:24,690
To Galahad.
1279
01:27:29,240 --> 01:27:31,891
Harry says you don't like
to break rules, Arthur.
1280
01:27:32,360 --> 01:27:33,441
Why now?
1281
01:27:33,640 --> 01:27:34,880
You're very good, Eggsy.
1282
01:27:35,040 --> 01:27:38,647
Perhaps I will make you my proposal
for Galahad's position.
1283
01:27:39,560 --> 01:27:42,245
Provided, of course,
that we can see eye to eye...
1284
01:27:42,440 --> 01:27:44,568
on certain political matters.
1285
01:27:47,400 --> 01:27:48,925
Can you guess...
1286
01:27:50,040 --> 01:27:51,644
what this is?
1287
01:27:51,800 --> 01:27:53,484
I don't have to. Harry showed me.
1288
01:27:53,640 --> 01:27:55,165
You click it. I die.
1289
01:27:55,320 --> 01:27:57,129
I thought that brandy tasted a bit shit.
1290
01:27:59,080 --> 01:27:59,729
Bravo.
1291
01:28:00,400 --> 01:28:03,563
Valentine won you over, somehow.
1292
01:28:03,720 --> 01:28:06,564
Once he explained, I understood.
1293
01:28:06,760 --> 01:28:08,000
When you get a virus...
1294
01:28:08,280 --> 01:28:09,486
you get a fever.
1295
01:28:09,640 --> 01:28:13,690
That's the human body raising
its core temperature to kill the virus.
1296
01:28:13,840 --> 01:28:16,081
Planet Earth works the same way.
1297
01:28:16,240 --> 01:28:18,163
Global warming is the fever.
1298
01:28:18,320 --> 01:28:21,130
Mankind is the virus.
1299
01:28:21,280 --> 01:28:23,681
We're making our planet sick.
1300
01:28:23,840 --> 01:28:26,446
A cull is our only hope.
1301
01:28:26,600 --> 01:28:28,841
If we don't reduce
our population ourselves...
1302
01:28:29,000 --> 01:28:31,606
there is only one of two ways
this can go.
1303
01:28:31,760 --> 01:28:36,004
The host kills the virus,
or the virus kills the host.
1304
01:28:36,320 --> 01:28:37,207
Either way...
1305
01:28:38,240 --> 01:28:39,810
The result is the same.
1306
01:28:40,000 --> 01:28:41,604
The virus dies.
1307
01:28:42,680 --> 01:28:46,127
So Valentine's gonna take care
of the population problem himself.
1308
01:28:46,280 --> 01:28:48,806
Well, if we don't do something,
nature will.
1309
01:28:48,960 --> 01:28:53,284
Sometimes a culling is the only way
to ensure that this species survives...
1310
01:28:54,000 --> 01:28:56,128
and history will see Valentine...
1311
01:28:56,280 --> 01:28:58,567
as the man who saved
humanity from extinction.
1312
01:28:59,120 --> 01:29:02,488
And he gets to pick and choose
who gets culled, does he?
1313
01:29:02,640 --> 01:29:03,846
All his rich mates, they get to live...
1314
01:29:04,000 --> 01:29:06,526
and anyone he thinks is worth saving,
he's keeping them safe...
1315
01:29:06,680 --> 01:29:08,648
whether they agree with him or not.
1316
01:29:08,800 --> 01:29:10,962
And you, Eggsy
1317
01:29:11,520 --> 01:29:13,488
In Harry's honor...
1318
01:29:13,640 --> 01:29:18,328
I am inviting you
to be part of a new world.
1319
01:29:20,400 --> 01:29:22,687
It's time to make your decision.
1320
01:29:29,560 --> 01:29:31,528
I'd rather be with Harry.
1321
01:29:32,160 --> 01:29:33,082
Thanks.
1322
01:29:33,840 --> 01:29:35,205
So be it.
1323
01:29:51,520 --> 01:29:54,763
The problem with us common types...
1324
01:29:54,920 --> 01:29:56,524
is that we're light-fingered.
1325
01:29:57,720 --> 01:29:59,449
Kingsman's taught me a lot...
1326
01:29:59,600 --> 01:30:00,840
but sleight of hand...
1327
01:30:01,520 --> 01:30:03,284
Yes, they're founder members.
1328
01:30:05,920 --> 01:30:07,206
I had that down already.
1329
01:30:09,520 --> 01:30:13,127
You dirty little fucking...
1330
01:30:13,280 --> 01:30:14,725
prick.
1331
01:30:49,000 --> 01:30:50,729
It's okay, Lancelot. Put it down.
1332
01:30:51,920 --> 01:30:53,445
It's verified.
1333
01:30:55,840 --> 01:30:58,411
Arthur's phone is receiving update
texts about getting to safety.
1334
01:30:58,560 --> 01:31:00,324
- We don't have a lot of time.
-What are you going to do?
1335
01:31:00,480 --> 01:31:02,642
The question is,
what are we going to do?
1336
01:31:02,800 --> 01:31:05,531
God knows who's in Valentine's pocket
and who's not.
1337
01:31:06,160 --> 01:31:07,685
We have no choice.
1338
01:31:08,760 --> 01:31:10,842
We are gonna have to deal
with this ourselves.
1339
01:31:14,280 --> 01:31:15,611
Follow me.
1340
01:31:34,480 --> 01:31:35,811
What the fuck is this?
1341
01:31:35,960 --> 01:31:37,803
I have no idea.
1342
01:31:38,800 --> 01:31:39,961
What you're playing with...
1343
01:31:40,120 --> 01:31:42,851
is a prototype personal
transatmospheric vehicle.
1344
01:31:43,000 --> 01:31:45,287
It was developed as part of
Reagan's Star Wars project.
1345
01:31:45,440 --> 01:31:48,364
It's pretty basic,
but it should still work.
1346
01:31:48,640 --> 01:31:51,007
We're gonna take out
one of Valentine's satellites.
1347
01:31:51,400 --> 01:31:53,846
We're gonna break the chain,
stop the signal.
1348
01:31:54,000 --> 01:31:55,684
It'll take him a couple of hours
to reroute it...
1349
01:31:56,360 --> 01:32:00,729
which buys us enough time for you
to get me into Valentine's mainframe...
1350
01:32:00,880 --> 01:32:02,689
so I can shut it down.
1351
01:32:02,840 --> 01:32:05,161
Lancelot, you're going to be using it.
1352
01:32:05,320 --> 01:32:06,685
Get into your halo suit.
1353
01:32:19,320 --> 01:32:21,084
Swedish Prime Minister,
requesting permission to land.
1354
01:32:27,080 --> 01:32:28,844
Permission granted.
1355
01:32:32,440 --> 01:32:34,920
- Please.
-Thank you.
1356
01:32:35,080 --> 01:32:37,162
- How many more are we expecting?
-Not many.
1357
01:32:37,360 --> 01:32:38,691
Most have their own bunkers.
1358
01:32:38,840 --> 01:32:42,208
I figure we're just getting
the really nervous ones.
1359
01:32:42,440 --> 01:32:44,442
Welcome, Prime Minister.
1360
01:32:45,720 --> 01:32:48,690
It seems the implant
can emit some kind of counter signal...
1361
01:32:48,840 --> 01:32:52,526
to ensure the wearer remains unaffected
by the waves from the SIM cards.
1362
01:32:52,680 --> 01:32:54,728
The waves that turn everyone
into a psycho killer.
1363
01:32:54,920 --> 01:32:57,446
Quite. But what he
probably didn't tell anyone...
1364
01:32:57,600 --> 01:33:01,889
is it can also super heat
their soft tissue at his command.
1365
01:33:02,040 --> 01:33:06,204
Valentine selected his chosen few
to get the countdown warning...
1366
01:33:06,360 --> 01:33:09,204
but he had to be sure they didn't blab
to the wrong people beforehand.
1367
01:33:09,360 --> 01:33:11,089
How does this help us right now?
1368
01:33:12,040 --> 01:33:13,041
It doesn't.
1369
01:33:13,440 --> 01:33:14,805
Roxy, here we go!
1370
01:33:27,720 --> 01:33:31,327
The higher you go,
the more the balloons expand.
1371
01:33:31,480 --> 01:33:33,323
When you reach
the edge of the atmosphere...
1372
01:33:33,480 --> 01:33:35,608
they'll explode.
1373
01:33:35,760 --> 01:33:37,762
You'll need to deploy your missile
just before that, okay?
1374
01:33:37,960 --> 01:33:39,291
Edge of the atmosphere.
1375
01:33:39,440 --> 01:33:42,762
And once you've deployed,
you'll need to release for descent, fast.
1376
01:33:43,760 --> 01:33:45,000
Good luck.
1377
01:33:47,320 --> 01:33:49,322
- You can do this, okay?
-Yeah.
1378
01:33:49,480 --> 01:33:52,290
Eggsy, come on. Time is not our friend.
1379
01:34:14,760 --> 01:34:16,762
You're getting in
on Arthur's invitation.
1380
01:34:16,960 --> 01:34:18,166
You're gonna need to blend in.
1381
01:34:18,320 --> 01:34:19,446
I'm supposed to be Arthur?
1382
01:34:19,600 --> 01:34:22,604
His invitation is in his phone.
You give them this.
1383
01:34:22,800 --> 01:34:25,280
- Give his real name, Chester King.
-What about you?
1384
01:34:25,440 --> 01:34:26,885
I'm your pilot. I'm gonna stay here.
1385
01:34:27,960 --> 01:34:29,041
Is that gonna fit me?
1386
01:34:29,200 --> 01:34:31,726
A bespoke suit always fits.
1387
01:34:31,880 --> 01:34:33,689
Just be grateful
Harry had it made for you.
1388
01:34:34,640 --> 01:34:35,641
Get dressed.
1389
01:34:37,080 --> 01:34:38,127
What the fuck's wrong with them?
1390
01:34:38,480 --> 01:34:41,211
I don't know. Could have something to do
with the mass genocide.
1391
01:34:41,400 --> 01:34:43,323
Give me the mic.
1392
01:34:45,120 --> 01:34:46,690
Hey-oh!
1393
01:34:46,840 --> 01:34:49,764
Everybody, listen up! Hello, hello!
1394
01:34:49,920 --> 01:34:52,161
What the fuck is wrong with you people?
1395
01:34:52,320 --> 01:34:55,164
I just wanna remind you that today...
1396
01:34:55,320 --> 01:34:57,926
is a day of celebration.
1397
01:34:58,720 --> 01:35:02,247
We must put aside
all thoughts of death...
1398
01:35:02,400 --> 01:35:04,289
and focus on birth.
1399
01:35:05,360 --> 01:35:07,806
The birth of a new age.
1400
01:35:09,000 --> 01:35:13,961
We mustn't mourn those
who give their lives today.
1401
01:35:14,120 --> 01:35:16,088
We should honor their sacrifice...
1402
01:35:16,240 --> 01:35:18,242
Has she got my number to call me back?
I got a new phone.
1403
01:35:18,440 --> 01:35:21,603
...and their roles in saving
the human race.
1404
01:35:24,000 --> 01:35:27,686
We must put aside doubt and guilt.
1405
01:35:29,080 --> 01:35:32,641
You are the chosen people.
1406
01:35:34,280 --> 01:35:37,727
When folks tell their kids
the story of Noah's Ark...
1407
01:35:37,880 --> 01:35:38,847
is Noah the bad guy?
1408
01:35:39,040 --> 01:35:39,689
No!
1409
01:35:39,840 --> 01:35:41,888
Is God the bad guy?
1410
01:35:42,040 --> 01:35:42,689
No!
1411
01:35:42,880 --> 01:35:45,281
How about the animals
marching two by two?
1412
01:35:45,440 --> 01:35:46,248
No!
1413
01:35:46,400 --> 01:35:47,208
Of course not!
1414
01:35:48,320 --> 01:35:49,685
Yeah, that's it!
1415
01:35:49,840 --> 01:35:53,640
Let's turn those frowns upside down.
1416
01:35:53,800 --> 01:35:55,643
Eat, drink...
1417
01:35:55,800 --> 01:35:57,484
and Party!
1418
01:36:00,520 --> 01:36:03,046
And I will see you all in the new age.
1419
01:36:28,280 --> 01:36:30,408
Rox, it's me.
1420
01:36:30,920 --> 01:36:32,251
How's the view?
1421
01:36:35,080 --> 01:36:37,162
- Hideous
- Mine's pretty sweet.
1422
01:36:37,320 --> 01:36:40,244
- They made you one of these suits yet?
- No, not yet.
1423
01:36:40,440 --> 01:36:42,761
You've got something to
look forward to then.
1424
01:36:42,920 --> 01:36:45,526
We're coming up on Valentine's base.
Gotta go.
1425
01:36:46,960 --> 01:36:48,291
Good luck.
1426
01:36:55,920 --> 01:36:56,921
Looking good, Eggsy.
1427
01:36:59,600 --> 01:37:02,331
Feeling good, Merlin.
1428
01:37:07,600 --> 01:37:09,204
This is November-2-4-7-Charlie-Kilo. ..
1429
01:37:09,360 --> 01:37:11,806
Requesting permission to land.
1430
01:37:14,800 --> 01:37:17,326
Permission is granted.
1431
01:37:21,000 --> 01:37:22,809
Fuck me.
1432
01:37:50,000 --> 01:37:52,446
Eggsy, we're on.
1433
01:38:07,160 --> 01:38:08,161
Chester King.
1434
01:38:09,160 --> 01:38:11,128
Mr. King, welcome.
1435
01:38:11,520 --> 01:38:15,320
I'm sure you've adhered to Valentine's
strict no-weapons policy...
1436
01:38:15,480 --> 01:38:16,811
-but if you don't object...
-Of course.
1437
01:38:16,960 --> 01:38:18,200
Thank you.
1438
01:38:18,680 --> 01:38:20,808
Do you have any luggage?
1439
01:38:21,800 --> 01:38:25,247
Congratulations, Mycroft,
you just graduated from my pilot to my valet.
1440
01:38:25,840 --> 01:38:28,320
- You cheeky--
Understood?
1441
01:38:28,480 --> 01:38:29,720
Good.
1442
01:38:31,040 --> 01:38:32,644
Thank you.
1443
01:38:57,920 --> 01:39:02,562
Eggsy, find a laptop, get me online.
The clock is ticking.
1444
01:39:03,720 --> 01:39:06,451
And remember, try to blend in.
1445
01:39:06,600 --> 01:39:08,568
Would sir care for a drink?
1446
01:39:09,200 --> 01:39:10,406
Martini.
1447
01:39:10,560 --> 01:39:12,722
Gin, not vodka, obviously.
1448
01:39:12,920 --> 01:39:16,606
Stirred for 10 seconds while glancing
at an unopened bottle of vermouth.
1449
01:39:17,240 --> 01:39:18,446
Thank you.
1450
01:39:21,240 --> 01:39:23,049
Merlin, are you clocking this?
1451
01:39:23,240 --> 01:39:25,288
Yes, I am. Stay focused.
1452
01:39:25,920 --> 01:39:28,082
Lancelot, you're doing great.
Not much further to go.
1453
01:39:28,800 --> 01:39:29,926
Yes, Merlin.
1454
01:39:31,440 --> 01:39:33,727
Eggsy, get me online now.
1455
01:39:34,640 --> 01:39:35,641
Yep, I'm on it.
1456
01:39:36,800 --> 01:39:38,928
Lancelot, you're approaching
your altitude limit.
1457
01:39:39,280 --> 01:39:41,044
Those balloons won't last much longer.
1458
01:39:41,920 --> 01:39:43,888
Prepare to engage missile.
1459
01:39:59,280 --> 01:40:00,486
Society's dead.
1460
01:40:00,960 --> 01:40:02,803
Long live society.
1461
01:40:03,800 --> 01:40:05,131
Amen to that.
1462
01:40:06,600 --> 01:40:08,648
- I'm Morten Lindstrém.
-Chester King.
1463
01:40:08,960 --> 01:40:10,291
How'd you get online? I couldn't.
1464
01:40:10,680 --> 01:40:13,650
It's a closed network, you see.
Pre-authorized connections only.
1465
01:40:17,840 --> 01:40:19,126
I've got a fix on the satellite.
1466
01:40:19,320 --> 01:40:20,446
Do you have the correct time?
1467
01:40:20,600 --> 01:40:21,806
I think I'm still in my last time zone.
1468
01:40:21,960 --> 01:40:23,371
Yeah, yeah. Let's see now.
1469
01:40:37,440 --> 01:40:38,441
Eggsy, I'm in.
1470
01:40:38,600 --> 01:40:39,726
Get your arse back to the plane, now.
1471
01:40:39,880 --> 01:40:41,450
- On my way.
- Lancelot, good luck!
1472
01:40:41,600 --> 01:40:43,807
Firing in 3...2...
1473
01:40:51,160 --> 01:40:52,161
Nice and slow.
1474
01:40:52,320 --> 01:40:53,526
Fuck are you doing here?
1475
01:40:53,680 --> 01:40:56,001
Well, my family were invited, obviously.
1476
01:40:56,160 --> 01:40:57,810
Now, get the fuck up! Slowly.
1477
01:40:59,000 --> 01:41:00,889
Shit. Lancelot, hurry up and fire!
1478
01:41:01,040 --> 01:41:02,644
That other balloon is gonna blow!
1479
01:41:02,800 --> 01:41:05,849
Yes, Merlin. I've nearly got it.
Give me a second!
1480
01:41:07,720 --> 01:41:10,644
Valentine! I've caught a fucking spy!
1481
01:41:11,320 --> 01:41:12,367
V-Glass, zoom.
1482
01:41:12,520 --> 01:41:14,568
Oh, fuck! It's that young valet.
1483
01:41:18,680 --> 01:41:20,091
Son of a bitch.
1484
01:41:20,640 --> 01:41:21,766
Got it!
1485
01:41:31,880 --> 01:41:33,166
Oh, shit. Sound the alarm!
1486
01:41:35,720 --> 01:41:36,767
I'm not taking any chances.
1487
01:41:36,920 --> 01:41:38,445
Okay, you send out
the two-minute warning.
1488
01:41:38,600 --> 01:41:41,046
I'm starting the override.
All right, let's do this.
1489
01:41:42,400 --> 01:41:44,004
Countdown initiated.
1490
01:41:53,720 --> 01:41:55,404
- You see him?
-Right here.
1491
01:42:04,200 --> 01:42:05,440
Eggsy, take a left.
1492
01:42:06,240 --> 01:42:07,241
Two guards, up ahead.
1493
01:42:19,600 --> 01:42:20,886
Lancelot! Release now!
1494
01:42:31,920 --> 01:42:33,729
Eggsy, straight ahead, then right.
1495
01:42:34,120 --> 01:42:35,121
There's two more.
1496
01:42:38,800 --> 01:42:40,928
All right, everybody on your feet!
1497
01:42:41,080 --> 01:42:42,286
Countdown to V-day!
1498
01:42:42,440 --> 01:42:43,965
Welcome in the new age!
1499
01:42:52,320 --> 01:42:53,401
Flat spin.
1500
01:43:08,600 --> 01:43:11,444
Eggsy, next left,
down the narrow tunnel!
1501
01:43:20,200 --> 01:43:21,201
Here we go!
1502
01:43:21,360 --> 01:43:22,009
10...
1503
01:43:23,000 --> 01:43:24,331
9...
1504
01:43:24,840 --> 01:43:25,523
8...
1505
01:43:26,480 --> 01:43:27,163
7...
1506
01:43:28,400 --> 01:43:29,242
6...
1507
01:43:30,080 --> 01:43:31,161
5...
1508
01:43:31,760 --> 01:43:32,488
4...
1509
01:43:34,000 --> 01:43:34,762
3...
1510
01:43:34,920 --> 01:43:35,682
2...
1511
01:43:36,680 --> 01:43:37,567
1 !
1512
01:43:43,600 --> 01:43:45,443
Nice! Well done, both of you.
1513
01:43:46,160 --> 01:43:47,161
It's not working!
1514
01:43:47,360 --> 01:43:49,408
It's supposed to be working!
What the fuck?
1515
01:43:56,200 --> 01:43:56,849
Yes!
1516
01:43:57,040 --> 01:43:58,371
Well done, Rox. Good girl.
1517
01:44:01,720 --> 01:44:04,246
We've lost one of our satellites.
1518
01:44:13,800 --> 01:44:17,566
Oh, no, no.
There's no way I can hack past that.
1519
01:44:23,120 --> 01:44:24,121
What's going on?
1520
01:44:25,320 --> 01:44:26,401
Is there a problem?
1521
01:44:27,560 --> 01:44:28,891
Come on. There's no need for guns.
1522
01:44:29,040 --> 01:44:30,565
I'm just a pilot.
1523
01:44:33,560 --> 01:44:34,607
Fuck. Merlin!
1524
01:44:37,400 --> 01:44:39,004
Get in here!
1525
01:44:43,240 --> 01:44:44,401
Come on!
1526
01:44:47,960 --> 01:44:49,291
Let's get the fuck out of here!
1527
01:44:49,440 --> 01:44:50,441
We can't.
1528
01:44:50,600 --> 01:44:52,090
I can't get into Valentine's machine.
1529
01:44:52,240 --> 01:44:53,844
He's got biometric security.
1530
01:44:55,320 --> 01:44:58,642
You're gonna have to get in there and make
sure his hand never touches that desk.
1531
01:44:58,800 --> 01:45:00,325
Are you taking the fucking piss?
1532
01:45:00,520 --> 01:45:01,760
I'm afraid not.
1533
01:45:04,920 --> 01:45:05,921
Let's have that then.
1534
01:45:07,600 --> 01:45:08,931
This is mine.
1535
01:45:09,440 --> 01:45:11,363
I'll show you yours.
1536
01:45:28,680 --> 01:45:29,602
Good choice.
1537
01:45:32,320 --> 01:45:33,890
How long to re-link the satellite chain?
1538
01:45:34,040 --> 01:45:35,280
It'll take an hour, maybe two.
1539
01:45:35,440 --> 01:45:37,568
Bullshit! Just bring these two
closer together.
1540
01:45:37,720 --> 01:45:39,051
But that's not yours.
1541
01:45:44,720 --> 01:45:46,484
V-Glass, call E-man.
1542
01:45:47,280 --> 01:45:48,645
E, it's V.
1543
01:45:48,800 --> 01:45:50,802
Listen, man,
I got a little hiccup on this end.
1544
01:45:50,960 --> 01:45:51,961
I need to piggyback.
1545
01:45:52,120 --> 01:45:56,170
One of my satellites just went down,
but it's right next to one of yours.
1546
01:45:56,680 --> 01:45:58,170
You read my mind.
1547
01:45:58,800 --> 01:46:00,404
How long before you make that happen?
1548
01:46:03,480 --> 01:46:04,527
Go.
1549
01:46:08,680 --> 01:46:10,648
All right, we should be
coming back online.
1550
01:46:13,560 --> 01:46:14,482
10 percent.
1551
01:46:17,680 --> 01:46:18,408
Shit!
1552
01:46:18,600 --> 01:46:20,364
Eggsy, Valentine's using
someone else's satellite.
1553
01:46:20,560 --> 01:46:22,528
He's going to reconnect the chain.
1554
01:46:22,680 --> 01:46:24,091
It's going to take him no time at all.
1555
01:46:25,080 --> 01:46:26,161
It's at 20 percent.
1556
01:46:44,120 --> 01:46:47,363
Eggsy, it seems Valentine's got a present for you.
Get a move on!
1557
01:47:20,880 --> 01:47:22,291
Is that Kingsman kid dead yet?
1558
01:47:22,480 --> 01:47:24,130
Not yet, but he will be soon.
1559
01:47:24,280 --> 01:47:26,009
Good.
1560
01:47:38,920 --> 01:47:39,921
Merlin, I'm fucked.
1561
01:47:53,120 --> 01:47:54,121
As am l.
1562
01:47:54,320 --> 01:47:56,641
They're coming at me from both sides.
I'm out of options.
1563
01:47:57,080 --> 01:47:59,924
Rox, I need a favor.
1564
01:48:00,080 --> 01:48:01,161
Call my mum.
1565
01:48:01,320 --> 01:48:02,845
Tell her to lock herself away from Dean.
1566
01:48:03,640 --> 01:48:04,527
And the baby...
1567
01:48:06,160 --> 01:48:07,161
and tell her I love her.
1568
01:48:16,120 --> 01:48:17,360
For fuck's sake.
1569
01:48:21,720 --> 01:48:24,883
Merlin, remember those implants
you said were of no use to us?
1570
01:48:26,680 --> 01:48:27,841
Any chance you can turn them on?
1571
01:48:31,560 --> 01:48:32,322
All right.
1572
01:48:32,520 --> 01:48:34,966
My turn to play, Valentine.
1573
01:48:43,480 --> 01:48:44,641
Oh, no!
1574
01:48:44,800 --> 01:48:47,246
What the fuck is he doing?
I can't stop this.
1575
01:49:00,640 --> 01:49:01,721
Yes, please.
1576
01:49:05,360 --> 01:49:06,566
No!
1577
01:50:03,320 --> 01:50:05,402
Oh, my God!
1578
01:50:05,560 --> 01:50:07,562
That is fucking spectacular!
1579
01:50:07,720 --> 01:50:10,485
Merlin, you're a fucking genius!
1580
01:50:10,640 --> 01:50:13,803
What the fuck is happening out there?
1581
01:50:18,120 --> 01:50:19,406
Aren't you that princess
who went missing?
1582
01:50:19,560 --> 01:50:20,607
Can you get me out?
1583
01:50:21,240 --> 01:50:23,163
If I do, will you give me a kiss?
1584
01:50:23,320 --> 01:50:24,765
I've always wanted to kiss a princess.
1585
01:50:24,920 --> 01:50:26,922
If you get me out right now,
I'll give you more than just a kiss.
1586
01:50:29,160 --> 01:50:30,400
You motherfucker.
1587
01:50:30,600 --> 01:50:32,409
Did you really think
I was stupid enough...
1588
01:50:32,600 --> 01:50:34,762
to implant one of those
things in my own head?
1589
01:50:35,200 --> 01:50:36,770
What are you, fucking crazy?
1590
01:50:37,720 --> 01:50:40,007
All those innocent people killed
and for what?
1591
01:50:40,880 --> 01:50:43,724
You didn't stop shit!
1592
01:50:45,080 --> 01:50:47,082
Fine, I've locked the door.
What do you want me to do now?
1593
01:50:47,280 --> 01:50:50,124
As I said, put your daughter
in the bathroom and throw away the key.
1594
01:50:50,880 --> 01:50:53,281
It's still happening!
1595
01:50:53,440 --> 01:50:54,601
You're fucking insane!
1596
01:50:54,760 --> 01:50:55,886
Just do it.
1597
01:51:23,200 --> 01:51:24,565
Eggsy, the signal's started!
1598
01:51:24,720 --> 01:51:27,883
Get Valentine's hand off
that bloody desk now!
1599
01:51:28,040 --> 01:51:28,962
Sorry, love.
1600
01:51:29,400 --> 01:51:30,481
Got to save the world.
1601
01:51:31,760 --> 01:51:33,683
I'll be right back.
1602
01:51:35,120 --> 01:51:36,087
Good luck!
1603
01:51:42,880 --> 01:51:43,722
London.
1604
01:52:12,320 --> 01:52:13,287
Rio.
1605
01:52:29,320 --> 01:52:30,162
Get down!
1606
01:52:32,320 --> 01:52:33,162
You did it!
1607
01:52:42,760 --> 01:52:44,683
The glass is not gonna hold long.
1608
01:52:46,360 --> 01:52:47,964
You stay here.
1609
01:52:50,200 --> 01:52:51,361
Merlin, quickly, how do I get up there?
1610
01:52:51,680 --> 01:52:53,603
- Keep shooting, I'll find a route.
-Understood.
1611
01:53:10,160 --> 01:53:11,241
Holy fuck!
1612
01:53:29,760 --> 01:53:31,046
We're back up.
1613
01:53:31,920 --> 01:53:33,251
We're back up!
1614
01:53:40,240 --> 01:53:41,969
This is great!
1615
01:53:50,080 --> 01:53:50,922
EQQSY!
1616
01:53:51,080 --> 01:53:52,605
Fucking get on with it!
1617
01:53:52,800 --> 01:53:54,006
Kick his ass, Gazy!
1618
01:54:00,640 --> 01:54:03,450
Seoul, Caracas, Mumbai!
1619
01:54:11,800 --> 01:54:14,280
Kill that motherfucker!
He killed all our friends!
1620
01:54:31,640 --> 01:54:33,642
Eggsy, the world is going to shit!
1621
01:54:43,040 --> 01:54:45,122
- Is he dead yet?
-Not yet!
1622
01:54:45,280 --> 01:54:47,408
Stop playing with your food!
1623
01:54:47,560 --> 01:54:48,561
Kill him!
1624
01:56:06,680 --> 01:56:08,045
Gazelle!
1625
01:56:09,880 --> 01:56:11,041
Gazelle!
1626
01:56:20,680 --> 01:56:22,409
Come on! Come on!
1627
01:56:25,400 --> 01:56:26,083
Kill him!
1628
01:56:43,720 --> 01:56:44,369
Hey!
1629
01:57:09,440 --> 01:57:10,965
Well done, son!
1630
01:57:12,280 --> 01:57:13,247
Yes!
1631
01:57:13,400 --> 01:57:14,561
Yes, Eggsy!
1632
01:57:14,720 --> 01:57:16,290
Well done, Eggsy!
1633
01:57:16,800 --> 01:57:17,961
And you, Lancelot.
1634
01:57:20,720 --> 01:57:23,291
I'm so sorry.
Mummy would never hurt you.
1635
01:57:23,920 --> 01:57:26,969
Mummy would never hurt you.
I'm so sorry.
1636
01:57:29,440 --> 01:57:30,487
Are you okay?
1637
01:57:34,240 --> 01:57:36,129
Harry would be proud of you, Eggsy.
1638
01:57:37,480 --> 01:57:38,561
He was right.
1639
01:57:54,000 --> 01:57:55,286
What's up, man?
1640
01:57:55,640 --> 01:57:59,008
Is this the part where you say
some really bad pun?
1641
01:58:00,480 --> 01:58:02,482
Well, it's like you said to Harry.
1642
01:58:05,680 --> 01:58:08,001
This ain't that kind of movie, bruv.
1643
01:58:09,480 --> 01:58:10,925
Perfect.
1644
01:58:31,800 --> 01:58:33,006
Eggsy, where are you going?
1645
01:58:33,160 --> 01:58:35,288
There's no need for champagne.
We got loads in the plane.
1646
01:58:42,520 --> 01:58:43,601
Did you save the world?
1647
01:58:44,200 --> 01:58:45,690
Yes, I did.
1648
01:58:47,000 --> 01:58:49,810
So, you gonna come in?
1649
01:58:50,560 --> 01:58:52,050
Yes, I am.
1650
01:58:57,520 --> 01:58:59,409
Merlin, the cell's locked.
How do I get in?
1651
01:59:01,680 --> 01:59:03,205
26-25.
1652
01:59:07,560 --> 01:59:10,166
Merlin, you're the guvnor.
1653
01:59:12,360 --> 01:59:14,727
You owe me, Eggsy.
1654
01:59:20,360 --> 01:59:21,407
Eggsy?
1655
01:59:27,400 --> 01:59:29,084
Oh, my word.
1656
02:00:16,280 --> 02:00:19,124
Michelle, turn that shit off.
It's doing my nut in.
1657
02:00:20,120 --> 02:00:21,645
I rather like that song.
1658
02:00:22,160 --> 02:00:23,764
Leave it on, eh, Mum?
1659
02:00:27,520 --> 02:00:29,443
Mugsy's back.
1660
02:00:29,560 --> 02:00:31,608
You've finally come
to have that word with me, have you, son?
1661
02:00:32,360 --> 02:00:33,646
Or are you gonna run away again...
1662
02:00:33,800 --> 02:00:35,404
and pretend you're going to court,
dressed like that?
1663
02:00:35,840 --> 02:00:37,251
Oh, you mean this?
1664
02:00:38,760 --> 02:00:40,091
No.
1665
02:00:40,680 --> 02:00:44,002
I know this bloke who's just taken over
a tailor shop on Savile Row.
1666
02:00:45,080 --> 02:00:46,650
He's given me a job, Mum.
1667
02:00:47,360 --> 02:00:48,646
It comes with a lot of perks.
1668
02:00:50,040 --> 02:00:51,371
Including a house.
1669
02:00:52,520 --> 02:00:54,363
Come and live with me there, Mum.
1670
02:00:54,960 --> 02:00:56,041
Come on.
1671
02:00:56,200 --> 02:00:56,928
Sit down, you.
1672
02:00:58,320 --> 02:01:00,527
Only place she'll be visiting
is you in fucking hospital.
1673
02:01:00,680 --> 02:01:02,489
- Do you hear?
-Just leave him alone, Dean!
1674
02:01:02,640 --> 02:01:04,881
Eggsy, just go. Please, just go, babe.
1675
02:01:06,360 --> 02:01:07,646
All right.
1676
02:01:07,800 --> 02:01:09,370
That's it, do as Mummy says.
1677
02:01:09,520 --> 02:01:12,364
Why don't you ask that tailor friend of yours,
and knock up a nice chicken costume.
1678
02:01:12,520 --> 02:01:13,885
It'll suit you, you mug.
1679
02:01:16,160 --> 02:01:18,925
As a good friend once said...
1680
02:01:20,240 --> 02:01:21,366
"Manners...
1681
02:01:23,280 --> 02:01:24,247
"maketh...
1682
02:01:26,840 --> 02:01:27,841
"man."
1683
02:01:28,680 --> 02:01:31,047
- Dean?
-Shut the fuck up.
1684
02:01:31,200 --> 02:01:33,646
Eggsy, I'm gonna shove your manners
up your fucking--
1685
02:01:39,600 --> 02:01:40,487
So...
1686
02:01:40,840 --> 02:01:44,845
are we gonna stand around here all day,
or are we gonna fight?
1687
02:01:44,869 --> 02:01:46,869
1687
02:01:47,305 --> 02:01:53,349
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