1 00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:12,074 Advertise your product or brand here contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today 2 00:00:44,560 --> 00:00:48,500 Forty-year-old Gyrese, you are not the father. 3 00:00:48,600 --> 00:00:50,900 This nigger from New York from the olden days... 4 00:00:51,000 --> 00:00:52,580 bumpy son, bumpy. 5 00:00:52,680 --> 00:00:56,620 Pose some secrets that are feeding Shannon's crystal meth addiction. 6 00:00:56,720 --> 00:00:58,920 - Now wait a minute, Kim. - Get the [beep] out of my face! 7 00:00:59,020 --> 00:01:02,027 What's wrong with you? What the [beep] is your... 8 00:01:03,200 --> 00:01:05,420 We already know what it is. It's freestyle Friday. 9 00:01:05,520 --> 00:01:06,980 A race war has erupted... 10 00:01:07,080 --> 00:01:10,220 at one of the nation's oldest and most prestigious institutions. 11 00:01:10,320 --> 00:01:13,380 Outrage over an African-American themed party... 12 00:01:13,480 --> 00:01:16,860 organized by predominantly white students of Winchester University... 13 00:01:16,960 --> 00:01:20,100 ...has resulted in rioting and property damages. 14 00:01:20,200 --> 00:01:23,340 Police were called to disrupt a massive fight that broke out... 15 00:01:23,440 --> 00:01:25,740 ...between African-American students and partygoers... 16 00:01:25,840 --> 00:01:26,900 just after midnight. 17 00:01:27,000 --> 00:01:29,700 To address diversity issues, the school have recently... 18 00:01:29,800 --> 00:01:32,740 ...appointed African-American scholar Dr. Walter Fairbanks... 19 00:01:32,840 --> 00:01:34,300 as dean of students. 20 00:01:34,400 --> 00:01:36,540 Last year the Dean's office celebrated slight... 21 00:01:36,640 --> 00:01:38,140 ...gains in diverse applicants... 22 00:01:38,240 --> 00:01:41,260 but with many now calling for Fairbanks' resignation... 23 00:01:41,360 --> 00:01:43,300 that may have been premature. 24 00:01:43,400 --> 00:01:46,940 School officials released a statement claiming that an investigation... 25 00:01:47,040 --> 00:01:48,620 into those responsible for the party... 26 00:01:48,720 --> 00:01:51,020 and subsequent riot is underway. 27 00:01:51,120 --> 00:01:54,300 An invite to the Halloween party, sent via social media... 28 00:01:54,400 --> 00:01:56,780 asked guests to liberate their inner Negro... 29 00:01:56,880 --> 00:01:58,740 fry up chicken... 30 00:01:58,840 --> 00:02:01,889 enjoy a cough syrup based concoction known as purple drank... 31 00:02:36,200 --> 00:02:37,900 Dear white people. 32 00:02:38,000 --> 00:02:40,300 The minimum requirement of black friends... 33 00:02:40,400 --> 00:02:44,060 needed to not seem racist has just been raised to two. 34 00:02:44,160 --> 00:02:49,041 Sorry, but your weed man Tyrone does not count. 35 00:03:12,920 --> 00:03:14,649 Hey, Kurt, you home? 36 00:03:17,560 --> 00:03:21,900 Hey, you've reached Garmin House, home of Lionel Higgins... 37 00:03:22,000 --> 00:03:25,420 the only bitch on campus who will give you a dickscount. 38 00:03:25,520 --> 00:03:27,540 That's right, hunty, the bigger the dick... 39 00:03:27,640 --> 00:03:29,961 the less you have to pay me to suck it. 40 00:03:32,120 --> 00:03:35,044 Kurt, it's Lionel. I'm locked out. 41 00:03:37,320 --> 00:03:40,051 You know my parents call this line. 42 00:03:41,800 --> 00:03:44,140 All right. Bye. 43 00:03:44,240 --> 00:03:45,900 Dear white people... 44 00:03:46,000 --> 00:03:47,580 apparently Morgan Freeman wasn't enough. 45 00:03:47,680 --> 00:03:49,980 Obama could cure cancer... 46 00:03:50,080 --> 00:03:53,620 and somewhere white folks will be embroiled in protest. 47 00:03:53,720 --> 00:03:55,768 And he's only half black. 48 00:03:57,280 --> 00:03:59,140 - Talk to me. - Hello there. 49 00:03:59,240 --> 00:04:01,860 First time caller, long time listener. 50 00:04:01,960 --> 00:04:03,460 So Sam, how would you feel... 51 00:04:03,560 --> 00:04:05,140 if someone started a Dear Black People? 52 00:04:05,240 --> 00:04:06,100 No need. 53 00:04:06,200 --> 00:04:09,980 Mass media from Fox News to reality TV on VH1... 54 00:04:10,080 --> 00:04:11,980 makes it clear what white people think of us. 55 00:04:12,080 --> 00:04:13,491 Thanks for calling. 56 00:04:42,360 --> 00:04:43,380 I'm pissed. 57 00:04:43,480 --> 00:04:47,180 The whole point of randomized housing... 58 00:04:47,280 --> 00:04:48,980 is to mix shit up. 59 00:04:49,080 --> 00:04:51,820 I'm out here trying to find the Olivier... 60 00:04:51,920 --> 00:04:54,060 to my Halle Berry... 61 00:04:54,160 --> 00:04:55,260 and they got me out here... 62 00:04:55,360 --> 00:04:58,060 looking like an extra on A Different World. 63 00:04:58,160 --> 00:05:01,900 That's not okay. At all. 64 00:05:02,000 --> 00:05:04,780 So your YouTube show, it's called... 65 00:05:04,880 --> 00:05:06,420 "Doing Time at an Ivy League?" 66 00:05:06,520 --> 00:05:09,660 In my second year of a four year sentence. 67 00:05:09,760 --> 00:05:12,780 Armstrong-Parker, that's your housing assignment? 68 00:05:12,880 --> 00:05:17,340 Traditionally it's where the hopelessly Afrocentric gather... 69 00:05:17,440 --> 00:05:21,580 to process their guilt over not going to an HBCU. 70 00:05:21,680 --> 00:05:23,569 Where the negros be at. 71 00:05:24,840 --> 00:05:26,569 That's not where you wanted to be, right? 72 00:05:27,200 --> 00:05:29,123 Bechet House is more my style. 73 00:05:29,480 --> 00:05:30,686 The rich white kids. 74 00:05:31,840 --> 00:05:32,620 Excuse me? 75 00:05:32,720 --> 00:05:35,220 - What part of Chicago are you from? - Hyde Park. 76 00:05:35,320 --> 00:05:36,420 What street? 77 00:05:36,520 --> 00:05:39,205 - Seventy-eighth and... - Seventy-eighth! 78 00:05:41,200 --> 00:05:42,620 That's Southside, sweetheart. 79 00:05:42,720 --> 00:05:43,660 You know what they say. 80 00:05:43,760 --> 00:05:45,900 You can take the girl out the hood, but you cannot take the hood... 81 00:05:46,000 --> 00:05:48,446 There is nothing hood about me. 82 00:05:53,680 --> 00:05:54,761 Thank you for your time. 83 00:05:56,000 --> 00:06:01,140 So, how long will you be on campus for casting? 84 00:06:01,240 --> 00:06:03,860 Let me explain to you the way reality TV works. 85 00:06:03,960 --> 00:06:06,645 I'm the producer. I ask the questions. 86 00:06:06,760 --> 00:06:08,205 We'll be in touch. 87 00:06:15,360 --> 00:06:18,420 Your hair is so cute B.T. Dubs. 88 00:06:18,520 --> 00:06:20,887 - Well, you're so cute. - Is it weaved? 89 00:06:22,760 --> 00:06:25,764 I saw "Good Hair" in Afro Studies. 90 00:06:28,480 --> 00:06:30,940 So, what house did you get? 91 00:06:31,040 --> 00:06:34,931 - Oh, Bechet, bitch. - Of course. 92 00:06:35,040 --> 00:06:37,884 The mere thought of a Fletcher anywhere else... 93 00:06:38,000 --> 00:06:38,780 Oh, easy. 94 00:06:38,880 --> 00:06:40,020 It was the luck of the draw. 95 00:06:40,120 --> 00:06:42,420 Daddy had nothing to do with it. 96 00:06:42,520 --> 00:06:45,580 Besides, if I had to pick anywhere to be... 97 00:06:45,680 --> 00:06:46,980 it would be here. 98 00:06:47,080 --> 00:06:48,940 Well, I'm down to switch. 99 00:06:49,040 --> 00:06:52,180 You get your Denzel, I get my Gosling. 100 00:06:52,280 --> 00:06:53,725 Oh, I gots mine. 101 00:06:54,520 --> 00:06:56,409 Do you want to meet him? 102 00:06:56,520 --> 00:07:00,220 Cute, for a black boy. 103 00:07:00,320 --> 00:07:01,162 Hey, Boo! 104 00:07:03,640 --> 00:07:05,620 I want you to meet my friend Coco. 105 00:07:05,720 --> 00:07:07,051 She's new to the house. 106 00:07:08,520 --> 00:07:10,660 Hi, I'm Troy. 107 00:07:10,760 --> 00:07:12,460 Welcome to Armstrong-Parker... 108 00:07:12,560 --> 00:07:14,780 home of the dopest dining hall in all of Winchester. 109 00:07:14,880 --> 00:07:15,820 Are we on duty? 110 00:07:15,920 --> 00:07:18,500 Babe, Head of House is always on duty. 111 00:07:18,600 --> 00:07:20,540 Well, I should get going. 112 00:07:20,640 --> 00:07:22,500 Thanks, Sof. 113 00:07:22,600 --> 00:07:24,568 - Bye. - Bye. 114 00:07:25,320 --> 00:07:27,460 So, babe, you think I got time for a quick cut? 115 00:07:27,560 --> 00:07:28,820 You just got it cut last week. 116 00:07:28,920 --> 00:07:29,967 It's a black thing, babe. 117 00:07:30,840 --> 00:07:33,340 Since when is OCD a black thang? 118 00:07:33,440 --> 00:07:35,522 Babe, please don't say "thang" like that. 119 00:07:35,640 --> 00:07:38,700 Besides, you have a shift over at the Politicos booth... 120 00:07:38,800 --> 00:07:40,540 and then you have a shift at Orientation... 121 00:07:40,640 --> 00:07:42,860 and then your advisor is coming over. 122 00:07:42,960 --> 00:07:45,088 Okay, you know what? I'll just wear a hat. 123 00:07:46,640 --> 00:07:49,689 And then a movie maybe? Just us? 124 00:07:50,280 --> 00:07:52,362 Election night. Babe, come on. 125 00:07:53,680 --> 00:07:55,380 All right. 126 00:07:55,480 --> 00:07:57,244 Yo, Kurt! 127 00:07:58,920 --> 00:08:01,207 - My man. - All right! 128 00:08:01,880 --> 00:08:03,405 Hey, sis. 129 00:08:10,040 --> 00:08:11,540 Is she kidding with this? 130 00:08:11,640 --> 00:08:12,900 You don't have to run again. 131 00:08:13,000 --> 00:08:14,100 Just because it's her doesn't mean... 132 00:08:14,200 --> 00:08:17,340 Babe, I can't let Sam and her wannabe Black Panthers take the house. 133 00:08:17,440 --> 00:08:19,980 The house needs me, who I am. 134 00:08:20,080 --> 00:08:22,260 It's who he wants you to be. 135 00:08:22,360 --> 00:08:24,900 So you take a couple of psych classes and now... 136 00:08:25,000 --> 00:08:26,620 all of a sudden, you think you're Freud? 137 00:08:26,720 --> 00:08:29,100 Oh, a Freud reference? Sophisticated. 138 00:08:29,200 --> 00:08:34,240 Okay. Beck, Jung, Maslow. 139 00:08:35,160 --> 00:08:37,420 Dear white people, this just in. 140 00:08:37,520 --> 00:08:39,921 Dating a black person to piss off your parents... 141 00:08:40,040 --> 00:08:41,620 is a form of racism. 142 00:08:41,720 --> 00:08:42,820 Yo, Troy, I forget. 143 00:08:42,920 --> 00:08:45,810 Is your major in shucking or was it jiving? 144 00:08:45,920 --> 00:08:48,980 Well, my major's in Shuck. I'm minoring in Jiving... 145 00:08:49,080 --> 00:08:52,129 Wow, you're still majoring in trying to fuck my leftovers, right? 146 00:08:56,880 --> 00:08:58,120 You need a shower. 147 00:09:28,240 --> 00:09:29,180 You're like Artie. 148 00:09:29,280 --> 00:09:32,980 Dawg, your success ratio with the ladies went up like 30%... 149 00:09:33,080 --> 00:09:34,340 after I started edging you up, dawg. 150 00:09:34,440 --> 00:09:36,460 Like, come on! You know? 151 00:09:36,560 --> 00:09:38,927 You went from ODB to Trey Songz! 152 00:09:41,200 --> 00:09:44,740 That's his platform? Haircuts? 153 00:09:44,840 --> 00:09:46,410 Oofta is as oofta does. 154 00:09:46,520 --> 00:09:48,841 Yes? Someone else is running? 155 00:09:50,440 --> 00:09:51,780 Just because we're colored... 156 00:09:51,880 --> 00:09:54,340 don't mean we run on colored people time. 157 00:09:54,440 --> 00:09:58,980 Boycotting hot combs don't make you an expert on colored people, Boo. 158 00:09:59,080 --> 00:10:01,890 I care about each and every single one of you. 159 00:10:02,520 --> 00:10:04,284 I care about this house. 160 00:10:04,640 --> 00:10:06,369 So if it ain't broke... 161 00:10:15,480 --> 00:10:17,780 All right, thank you, Troy Fairbanks. 162 00:10:17,880 --> 00:10:20,565 Is this because of us? 163 00:10:20,680 --> 00:10:22,940 Because we broke up over a year ago. 164 00:10:23,040 --> 00:10:25,100 You seriously think you can win? 165 00:10:25,200 --> 00:10:28,020 Troy, we live in a world where there's a Big Mama's House 3. 166 00:10:28,120 --> 00:10:32,205 I don't think I have a chance in hell. Thank God. 167 00:10:50,200 --> 00:10:53,727 Troy, my brother, it's broke. 168 00:10:53,840 --> 00:10:55,100 Mm-hm. 169 00:10:55,200 --> 00:10:57,680 Troy is a legacy kid... 170 00:10:57,800 --> 00:11:00,220 and yet it's under his watch... 171 00:11:00,320 --> 00:11:02,340 that Armstrong-Parker... 172 00:11:02,440 --> 00:11:04,820 the bastion of black culture here... 173 00:11:04,920 --> 00:11:05,780 was gutted... 174 00:11:05,880 --> 00:11:07,860 by the Randomization of Housing Act. 175 00:11:07,960 --> 00:11:09,260 Now, second years of color... 176 00:11:09,360 --> 00:11:11,460 no longer have a say in where they go. 177 00:11:11,560 --> 00:11:13,180 The culture that's been fostered... 178 00:11:13,280 --> 00:11:14,900 in this house for two decades... 179 00:11:15,000 --> 00:11:17,060 will be wiped out in two years. 180 00:11:17,160 --> 00:11:20,220 This wasn't motivated by a desire to mix things up... 181 00:11:20,320 --> 00:11:23,700 bring about racial and socioeconomic harmony, no. 182 00:11:23,800 --> 00:11:25,660 The black kids are sitting together... 183 00:11:25,760 --> 00:11:27,420 in the proverbial cafeteria... 184 00:11:27,520 --> 00:11:28,780 so they must be up to no good. 185 00:11:28,880 --> 00:11:29,820 Yeah! Mm-hm. 186 00:11:29,920 --> 00:11:33,811 Over a century of houses grouped by sports affiliations... 187 00:11:33,920 --> 00:11:36,460 political leanings, majors, you name it. 188 00:11:36,560 --> 00:11:39,564 Black kids get their own house and suddenly we got a problem? 189 00:11:40,720 --> 00:11:42,940 This doesn't affect the other houses like it does ours. 190 00:11:43,040 --> 00:11:45,740 There are plenty of trustees, former coaches... 191 00:11:45,840 --> 00:11:47,490 presidents watching out for the others... 192 00:11:47,600 --> 00:11:50,260 but all we have is a dean who would rather please his massa... 193 00:11:50,360 --> 00:11:52,940 - Yo, that's enough of that, Sam! - Then stand up for his own! 194 00:11:53,040 --> 00:11:55,100 Yes! Tell him! Yes! 195 00:11:55,200 --> 00:11:56,940 I know y'all ain't gonna vote for me. 196 00:11:57,040 --> 00:11:58,565 Y'all ain't ready. 197 00:11:59,640 --> 00:12:03,087 The Black Student Union and I have brought a petition... 198 00:12:03,200 --> 00:12:05,420 to repeal the Randomization of Housing Act. 199 00:12:05,520 --> 00:12:08,660 I plan on bringing it to the President and together... 200 00:12:08,760 --> 00:12:11,940 we can bring black back to Winchester. 201 00:12:12,040 --> 00:12:13,087 Yes! 202 00:12:18,280 --> 00:12:19,930 It'll be by the door. 203 00:12:22,440 --> 00:12:24,660 Quiet! 204 00:12:24,760 --> 00:12:26,524 All right. 205 00:12:26,640 --> 00:12:29,860 I assume everyone has the app I created by now? 206 00:12:29,960 --> 00:12:32,220 It's a child's app. 207 00:12:32,320 --> 00:12:35,449 Good. Voting may commence. 208 00:12:44,800 --> 00:12:46,260 Okay. 209 00:12:46,360 --> 00:12:47,805 Looks like we've got a winner. 210 00:12:51,400 --> 00:12:54,380 Sam White? 211 00:12:54,480 --> 00:12:57,860 Oh, shit. 212 00:12:57,960 --> 00:12:59,166 Congratulations. 213 00:13:14,840 --> 00:13:16,980 So that's what you're looking for? 214 00:13:17,080 --> 00:13:19,082 I just want to make good TV, sweetheart. 215 00:13:20,520 --> 00:13:22,124 Well, I think I'd be good TV. 216 00:13:26,400 --> 00:13:28,260 You're getting a great education at a great school. 217 00:13:28,360 --> 00:13:29,700 Why don't you just be good at that. 218 00:13:29,800 --> 00:13:31,260 I am. 219 00:13:31,360 --> 00:13:34,700 And when I graduate early with an economics degree from Winchester... 220 00:13:34,800 --> 00:13:36,260 it'll be the crowning achievement... 221 00:13:36,360 --> 00:13:38,660 of my black middle class parents' ambitions. 222 00:13:38,760 --> 00:13:41,100 Yeah, well, conflict is a commodity in my industry. 223 00:13:41,200 --> 00:13:43,420 Sam has that. Do you? 224 00:13:43,520 --> 00:13:46,900 So, what? You want me to start a fight? 225 00:13:47,000 --> 00:13:50,209 I don't want you to do anything you wouldn't otherwise do. 226 00:13:57,200 --> 00:13:59,282 Hey, you reached Garmin House... 227 00:13:59,400 --> 00:14:01,580 home of Lionel Higgins... 228 00:14:01,680 --> 00:14:05,260 the only bitch on campus who will give you a dickscount. 229 00:14:05,360 --> 00:14:07,020 That's right, hunty, the bigger the dick... 230 00:14:07,120 --> 00:14:09,930 the less you have to pay me to suck it. 231 00:14:15,520 --> 00:14:18,420 Everything's pretty locked up... 232 00:14:18,520 --> 00:14:21,540 but we will find a residence to move you into. 233 00:14:21,640 --> 00:14:25,020 Third time's a charm, right? 234 00:14:25,120 --> 00:14:27,900 What about Armstrong-Parker? 235 00:14:28,000 --> 00:14:29,126 I don't know if that's... 236 00:14:29,400 --> 00:14:30,620 I might have an opening. 237 00:14:30,720 --> 00:14:32,900 That might be good for you to be around... 238 00:14:33,000 --> 00:14:35,780 Dean, the worst thing about high school... 239 00:14:35,880 --> 00:14:39,441 and believe me, it's a long list, were the black kids. 240 00:14:41,760 --> 00:14:44,300 Maybe it's in your head, son. 241 00:14:44,400 --> 00:14:47,900 Sure, folks can be intolerant around people like you. 242 00:14:48,000 --> 00:14:48,980 And homosexuals just... 243 00:14:49,080 --> 00:14:51,686 I... I don't believe in labels. 244 00:14:54,240 --> 00:14:55,526 You like jazz, Lionel? 245 00:14:56,560 --> 00:14:58,767 Winchester is like jazz. 246 00:14:59,000 --> 00:15:02,340 - It's a research school. - Andjazz is tension. 247 00:15:02,440 --> 00:15:07,500 The interplay of improvised solos... 248 00:15:07,600 --> 00:15:11,220 all creating one song. 249 00:15:11,320 --> 00:15:13,740 Your problem is you've got no instrument. 250 00:15:13,840 --> 00:15:17,940 No major, no affiliations, no solo, son. 251 00:15:18,040 --> 00:15:19,780 I submit articles to the independent Observer. 252 00:15:19,880 --> 00:15:21,820 No one reads the independent Observer. 253 00:15:21,920 --> 00:15:24,660 My point is are you playing swing or bebop? 254 00:15:24,760 --> 00:15:26,020 You're mixing your metaphors. 255 00:15:26,120 --> 00:15:27,980 Are you a sax or are you a trumpet? 256 00:15:28,080 --> 00:15:29,491 I don't like jazz. 257 00:15:31,960 --> 00:15:35,820 Look, I'll do what I can. 258 00:15:35,920 --> 00:15:39,380 But not a word of this in the Observer, okay? 259 00:15:39,480 --> 00:15:40,811 No one reads it, right? 260 00:16:29,320 --> 00:16:31,060 Lionel, right? 261 00:16:31,160 --> 00:16:33,500 George. We had Civ last semester. How's it going? 262 00:16:33,600 --> 00:16:36,060 Oh, yeah. Great, I mean, good, yeah. 263 00:16:36,160 --> 00:16:37,740 Fan of your stuff in the Observer. 264 00:16:37,840 --> 00:16:40,060 No one reads the Observer. 265 00:16:40,160 --> 00:16:42,100 Have you seen this? 266 00:16:42,200 --> 00:16:45,100 The residents of Armstrong-Parker just made her head of house. 267 00:16:45,200 --> 00:16:47,646 Am I crazy or is there a there there? 268 00:16:49,000 --> 00:16:52,020 What made you come over here? I mean... 269 00:16:52,120 --> 00:16:54,122 It's not like I didn't... I'm glad you came, I just... 270 00:16:54,240 --> 00:16:56,300 My staff. God bless them. 271 00:16:56,400 --> 00:16:58,700 They are whiter than Michael Jackson's kids. 272 00:16:58,800 --> 00:17:00,140 I mean, we're fucked if any one of them... 273 00:17:00,240 --> 00:17:02,140 tries to write this story and I won't let the transfers... 274 00:17:02,240 --> 00:17:03,140 at the Gazette do it first. 275 00:17:03,240 --> 00:17:04,446 Well, this one has his face. 276 00:17:05,920 --> 00:17:08,260 You're in the Black Student Union. You probably know Sam. 277 00:17:08,360 --> 00:17:10,780 You come up with a good angle... I want it in the Bugle. 278 00:17:10,880 --> 00:17:12,980 - Trumpet. - Bugle. Focus. 279 00:17:13,080 --> 00:17:14,340 The only paper on campus... 280 00:17:14,440 --> 00:17:16,420 with an advisor with The New York Times. 281 00:17:16,520 --> 00:17:19,380 Only so many ways a person can distinguish themselves... 282 00:17:19,480 --> 00:17:20,845 at a place like this, Lionel. 283 00:17:21,400 --> 00:17:24,643 You're good. You belong with us. 284 00:17:40,720 --> 00:17:41,960 Did you get it? 285 00:17:46,040 --> 00:17:47,460 Good. 286 00:17:47,560 --> 00:17:49,767 You've now got the shared calendar... 287 00:17:49,880 --> 00:17:52,008 contacts, and official email. 288 00:17:54,560 --> 00:18:01,860 And before I forget. 289 00:18:01,960 --> 00:18:04,580 - Event requests for the year? - Just this month. 290 00:18:04,680 --> 00:18:06,740 They all need your approval. 291 00:18:06,840 --> 00:18:08,900 And don't forget to pick your office hours. 292 00:18:09,000 --> 00:18:10,660 You need at least 20 per week. 293 00:18:10,760 --> 00:18:12,683 That's absurd. 294 00:18:13,880 --> 00:18:17,500 Well, you're now head of a hundred residents. 295 00:18:17,600 --> 00:18:20,500 And they all need time to complain to your face about... 296 00:18:20,600 --> 00:18:21,860 noise, leaky pipes... 297 00:18:21,960 --> 00:18:24,020 gluten-free option in the cafeteria, etc. 298 00:18:24,120 --> 00:18:27,886 Troy, I didn't think I was gonna win. 299 00:18:32,280 --> 00:18:34,260 Look, I'm late for lunch. 300 00:18:34,360 --> 00:18:36,647 By the way, petitioning the President... 301 00:18:36,760 --> 00:18:38,500 on the Randomization of Housing Act... 302 00:18:38,600 --> 00:18:40,460 ain't gonna do shit. 303 00:18:40,560 --> 00:18:42,580 None of the other houses are concerned. 304 00:18:42,680 --> 00:18:45,060 Because they all have a legacy of rich and powerful allies... 305 00:18:45,160 --> 00:18:47,700 who will make sure that "random" works to their advantage. 306 00:18:47,800 --> 00:18:50,849 And you really think a petition is going to change that? 307 00:19:09,320 --> 00:19:10,481 Hello? 308 00:19:17,320 --> 00:19:19,420 Yeah. 309 00:19:19,520 --> 00:19:21,727 Okay, well, just call me the minute there's an update. 310 00:19:26,480 --> 00:19:28,140 The Armstrong-Parker dining hall... 311 00:19:28,240 --> 00:19:29,940 is the epicenter of black culture... 312 00:19:30,040 --> 00:19:31,780 as it stands at Winchester. 313 00:19:31,880 --> 00:19:33,980 Only here can you commiserate, celebrate... 314 00:19:34,080 --> 00:19:36,300 and discuss everything from Kanye West lyrics... 315 00:19:36,400 --> 00:19:40,260 to theoretical relativism all in a sitting... 316 00:19:40,360 --> 00:19:44,126 not to mention find someone who can actually do your hair. 317 00:19:45,720 --> 00:19:48,340 You still using your ID? 318 00:19:48,440 --> 00:19:50,180 I always forget passwords. 319 00:19:50,280 --> 00:19:51,580 You are begging to get hacked. 320 00:19:51,680 --> 00:19:53,580 Good thing the one evil techno-genius... 321 00:19:53,680 --> 00:19:55,300 thinking like that is on my side. 322 00:19:55,400 --> 00:19:56,940 We was robbed. 323 00:19:57,040 --> 00:19:58,610 That election was suspect, man. 324 00:19:58,720 --> 00:20:01,140 There is this one other sister in my Relativity class... 325 00:20:01,240 --> 00:20:02,940 and I'll be damned if our professor... 326 00:20:03,040 --> 00:20:05,180 doesn't call me Loretta every goddamn time. 327 00:20:05,280 --> 00:20:06,980 We all look the same. 328 00:20:07,080 --> 00:20:09,780 Programming professor gets me and Martin here mixed up constantly. 329 00:20:09,880 --> 00:20:10,980 You should be so lucky. 330 00:20:11,080 --> 00:20:13,660 Cute. You get that at Toys "R" Us? 331 00:20:13,760 --> 00:20:15,100 The talented tenth always... 332 00:20:15,200 --> 00:20:17,980 has to bust its ass a little bit harder... 333 00:20:18,080 --> 00:20:19,580 but I don't see what the point is... 334 00:20:19,680 --> 00:20:21,460 in blaming white folks for everything. 335 00:20:21,560 --> 00:20:22,980 Who's blaming, Blue Eyes? 336 00:20:23,080 --> 00:20:24,260 I really don't see the issue. 337 00:20:24,360 --> 00:20:27,420 Never had one. Never ran into any lynch mobs. 338 00:20:27,520 --> 00:20:29,820 Lynch mob's still here. Just re-branded itself. 339 00:20:29,920 --> 00:20:32,740 - As what, pray tell? - The Republican Party. 340 00:20:32,840 --> 00:20:34,500 You want to know how the world sees you? 341 00:20:34,600 --> 00:20:36,620 You go to a Young Republican's meeting... 342 00:20:36,720 --> 00:20:38,100 and bring up welfare. 343 00:20:38,200 --> 00:20:40,646 - Or immigration. - Or gay rights. 344 00:20:41,360 --> 00:20:42,407 Bullshit. 345 00:20:44,280 --> 00:20:45,460 You have something to add? 346 00:20:45,560 --> 00:20:47,483 Me? Yeah, I do. 347 00:20:47,600 --> 00:20:50,180 Look, your biggest athletes, right? 348 00:20:50,280 --> 00:20:51,540 Movies stars... 349 00:20:51,640 --> 00:20:54,860 Hell, guys, my president is black. 350 00:20:54,960 --> 00:20:56,940 Okay, sometimes I think the hardest thing to be... 351 00:20:57,040 --> 00:20:59,340 in the American work force right now... 352 00:20:59,440 --> 00:21:01,727 is an educated white guy. 353 00:21:02,840 --> 00:21:04,220 You're not serious? 354 00:21:04,320 --> 00:21:06,580 Hey look, you guys still got affirmative action... 355 00:21:06,680 --> 00:21:08,620 that's all I'm saying. 356 00:21:08,720 --> 00:21:11,500 I'm sorry, what exactly are you doing here? 357 00:21:11,600 --> 00:21:14,620 All right, check this out. You ready? Obama, right? 358 00:21:14,720 --> 00:21:16,940 Leader of the free world. 359 00:21:17,040 --> 00:21:20,260 He gets into Harvard based on... You! 360 00:21:20,360 --> 00:21:22,820 Too late. Affirmative action. 361 00:21:22,920 --> 00:21:26,020 You know who's not president right now? No? 362 00:21:26,120 --> 00:21:27,980 The guy who didn't get in. 363 00:21:28,080 --> 00:21:31,580 Well, on behalf of all the colored folks in the room... 364 00:21:31,680 --> 00:21:33,900 let me apologize to all the better qualified white students... 365 00:21:34,000 --> 00:21:35,300 whose place we're taking up. 366 00:21:35,400 --> 00:21:37,100 No, it's fine. We're okay. 367 00:21:37,200 --> 00:21:39,380 I'm sorry, did you get lost? 368 00:21:39,480 --> 00:21:40,660 Bechet is that way. 369 00:21:40,760 --> 00:21:43,420 Oh, I know where it is. I'm actually supposed to eat there. 370 00:21:43,520 --> 00:21:46,460 Yeah, it's just there's... this is the only dining hall that you can actually... 371 00:21:46,560 --> 00:21:48,881 get yourself some chicken and waffles. 372 00:21:50,640 --> 00:21:52,404 Look, you're Dear White People, right? 373 00:21:54,320 --> 00:21:55,700 It's funny. 374 00:21:55,800 --> 00:21:57,140 It's funny stuff, it really is. 375 00:21:57,240 --> 00:21:59,100 How have we not staffed you yet? 376 00:21:59,200 --> 00:22:01,020 Oh, me? Oh what? 377 00:22:01,120 --> 00:22:03,780 On Pastiche, your uninspired humor magazine? 378 00:22:03,880 --> 00:22:06,340 It's actually much more than just a magazine, sweetheart. 379 00:22:06,440 --> 00:22:08,780 SNL staff is basically half Lampoon, half Pastiche. 380 00:22:08,880 --> 00:22:10,620 Same goes for the network comedies. 381 00:22:10,720 --> 00:22:12,580 And what gives you clubhouse kids... 382 00:22:12,680 --> 00:22:15,260 the right to come to our dining hall? 383 00:22:15,360 --> 00:22:16,361 You don't live here. 384 00:22:16,480 --> 00:22:18,940 - Sam, what are you doing? - So you can't eat here. 385 00:22:19,040 --> 00:22:20,780 Chill, Sam. Damn, all right? Let the man... 386 00:22:20,880 --> 00:22:22,245 - Got this. - Got this. 387 00:22:23,080 --> 00:22:24,740 Look, who are you to throw me out? 388 00:22:24,840 --> 00:22:29,050 Oh! Well, I think I'm head of this house. 389 00:22:29,160 --> 00:22:30,685 And I'm doing things my way. 390 00:22:32,560 --> 00:22:33,766 Your way. 391 00:22:39,160 --> 00:22:40,605 Excuse me. 392 00:22:47,360 --> 00:22:49,420 Serious question. Do you know who I am? 393 00:22:49,520 --> 00:22:51,220 Yeah, I know your dad is the president. 394 00:22:51,320 --> 00:22:51,860 Good. 395 00:22:51,960 --> 00:22:53,620 He's the same one that has been pushing... 396 00:22:53,720 --> 00:22:55,100 to break up this house for a decade. 397 00:22:55,200 --> 00:22:57,940 What's wrong? Is he afraid that letting the negros gather in groups... 398 00:22:58,040 --> 00:23:00,780 might start a little rebellion on his plantation? 399 00:23:00,880 --> 00:23:05,329 Oh, well, then you tell him from me, that he should be. 400 00:23:09,680 --> 00:23:12,570 Yeah. Bad move. 401 00:23:13,120 --> 00:23:14,770 Let's go. 402 00:23:15,520 --> 00:23:17,249 Excuse me. Sorry. 403 00:23:19,280 --> 00:23:21,248 Excuse us. 404 00:23:27,280 --> 00:23:28,884 You, too. 405 00:23:29,800 --> 00:23:30,780 Me? 406 00:23:30,880 --> 00:23:33,281 Yeah, I'm sorry. Do you live here? 407 00:23:51,480 --> 00:23:53,369 She the man. She the man. 408 00:24:27,920 --> 00:24:30,287 Dear white people, stop dancing. 409 00:24:34,000 --> 00:24:35,286 The fuck? 410 00:24:43,480 --> 00:24:45,940 Yeah, well, conflict is a commodity in my industry. 411 00:24:46,040 --> 00:24:48,088 Sam has that. Do you? 412 00:24:53,000 --> 00:24:55,340 Welcome, muffins. 413 00:24:55,440 --> 00:24:57,100 So, I hate to do it to you... 414 00:24:57,200 --> 00:25:00,020 but I'm gonna have to get real black with you for a second. 415 00:25:00,120 --> 00:25:03,660 So the other day, a girl had the nerve to fix her mouth... 416 00:25:03,760 --> 00:25:06,460 and ask me if my hair was weaved. 417 00:25:06,560 --> 00:25:09,060 Weaved? Really, bitch? 418 00:25:09,160 --> 00:25:10,900 First of all, if you're going to fix your mouth... 419 00:25:11,000 --> 00:25:12,580 to ask me something like that... 420 00:25:12,680 --> 00:25:15,420 say it right, please. It's weave. 421 00:25:15,520 --> 00:25:18,220 Noun. Present tense. 422 00:25:18,320 --> 00:25:20,004 Second of all, don't assume... 423 00:25:20,120 --> 00:25:21,963 just because you see a sister with some hair... 424 00:25:22,080 --> 00:25:24,340 that it's a weave. Is it? 425 00:25:24,440 --> 00:25:27,140 If a bitch could grow straight Indian hair directly out of her own head... 426 00:25:27,240 --> 00:25:29,660 she wouldn't have just overdrafted her account paying for this shit... 427 00:25:29,760 --> 00:25:31,380 but that ain't your business, Boo-Boo. 428 00:25:31,480 --> 00:25:33,220 Are those your lips, sweetie? 429 00:25:33,320 --> 00:25:35,180 Is that really your skin? 430 00:25:35,280 --> 00:25:36,740 These white girls and their tans... 431 00:25:36,840 --> 00:25:39,740 they're starting to get darker than me... 432 00:25:39,840 --> 00:25:42,207 which isn't that dark. 433 00:25:49,000 --> 00:25:52,402 Dear white people, what do I think about it? 434 00:26:56,040 --> 00:26:58,700 Okay. Anyone have any comments... 435 00:26:58,800 --> 00:27:01,644 for Sam's Rebirth of a Nation? 436 00:27:05,840 --> 00:27:09,020 - Could I? - Gabe, go ahead. 437 00:27:09,120 --> 00:27:12,580 I dig the silent movie thing, but it's a little self-congratulatory. 438 00:27:12,680 --> 00:27:14,020 Light on story... 439 00:27:14,120 --> 00:27:16,500 and frankly thematically dubious. 440 00:27:16,600 --> 00:27:17,965 Anyone else? 441 00:27:20,880 --> 00:27:21,980 Sam? 442 00:27:22,080 --> 00:27:23,380 Before you say anything... 443 00:27:23,480 --> 00:27:25,260 might I remind you that I sat through... 444 00:27:25,360 --> 00:27:26,964 A Birth of a Nation, Gone with the Wind... 445 00:27:27,080 --> 00:27:29,140 and Tarantino week without protest. 446 00:27:29,240 --> 00:27:31,140 Yeah, and might I also remind you that I read... 447 00:27:31,240 --> 00:27:34,260 your entire 15 page, unsolicited treatise... 448 00:27:34,360 --> 00:27:35,940 on why the Gremlins is actually about... 449 00:27:36,040 --> 00:27:37,820 suburban white fear of black culture. 450 00:27:37,920 --> 00:27:40,980 The gremlins are loud, talk in slang, are addicted to fried chicken... 451 00:27:41,080 --> 00:27:42,660 and freak out when you get their hair wet. 452 00:27:42,760 --> 00:27:45,525 The only problem that I have with your film is that it was late. 453 00:27:45,640 --> 00:27:47,449 The silent projects were last semester. 454 00:27:47,560 --> 00:27:50,100 You were supposed to e-mail me your sound treatment over the summer. 455 00:27:50,200 --> 00:27:52,420 I have radio, BSU... 456 00:27:52,520 --> 00:27:53,740 now this Head of House thing. 457 00:27:53,840 --> 00:27:55,020 Okay, do you want this? 458 00:27:55,120 --> 00:27:59,100 Look, this thing might as well be my right hand. 459 00:27:59,200 --> 00:28:00,220 I was busy this summer. 460 00:28:00,320 --> 00:28:02,300 Your peers are out getting internships, making short films. 461 00:28:02,400 --> 00:28:05,300 My dad was sick. 462 00:28:05,400 --> 00:28:06,620 I had to go home. 463 00:28:06,720 --> 00:28:08,140 If you need time, take it. 464 00:28:08,240 --> 00:28:09,740 But if you want to be here next semester... 465 00:28:09,840 --> 00:28:12,060 - I do. - Pull it together! 466 00:28:12,160 --> 00:28:13,525 This is Winchester. 467 00:28:23,520 --> 00:28:25,443 Thematically dubious. 468 00:28:28,200 --> 00:28:30,260 Well, what was that supposed to be about exactly? 469 00:28:30,360 --> 00:28:32,408 You're thematically dubious! 470 00:28:35,400 --> 00:28:37,420 Since when do TA's give critiques? 471 00:28:37,520 --> 00:28:39,780 You invoke minstrelsy for shock value, to what end? 472 00:28:39,880 --> 00:28:42,060 To invoke the same feeling I get when I turn on the TV... 473 00:28:42,160 --> 00:28:45,180 and see some so-called reality star shuck and jive for ratings... 474 00:28:45,280 --> 00:28:47,500 egged on by no doubt white producers. 475 00:28:47,600 --> 00:28:48,900 Or the sassy black secretary... 476 00:28:49,000 --> 00:28:51,180 who has no backstory or character development... 477 00:28:51,280 --> 00:28:52,340 aside from her skin color. 478 00:28:52,440 --> 00:28:53,460 So it's a tit for tat? 479 00:28:53,560 --> 00:28:55,847 Are you honestly saying that art can't be reactionary? 480 00:28:55,960 --> 00:28:57,980 You're reacting to something that's 100 years old. 481 00:28:58,080 --> 00:29:00,380 Because fear of black men involved in U.S. government... 482 00:29:00,480 --> 00:29:02,220 is a completely antiquated concept. 483 00:29:02,320 --> 00:29:03,900 No social relevance today. 484 00:29:04,000 --> 00:29:05,660 I think that sometimes you should hold... 485 00:29:05,760 --> 00:29:06,980 a mirror up to your audience... 486 00:29:07,080 --> 00:29:09,340 rather than dropping an ideological piano on their head. 487 00:29:09,440 --> 00:29:12,020 I just think that works that deal with the African Diaspora... 488 00:29:12,120 --> 00:29:14,140 through a post-modern lens are outright rejected... 489 00:29:14,240 --> 00:29:15,700 unless handled by a white artist. 490 00:29:15,800 --> 00:29:18,500 - African Diaspora? - Yeah, I said it. 491 00:29:18,600 --> 00:29:21,500 I'm sorry, but blackface is alive and well in our culture. 492 00:29:21,600 --> 00:29:23,220 Who primarily buys hip hop... 493 00:29:23,320 --> 00:29:25,129 watches Housewives of Atlanta? 494 00:29:25,240 --> 00:29:29,100 The same homogenized images of black people over and over again? 495 00:29:29,200 --> 00:29:30,340 White people, Gabe. 496 00:29:30,440 --> 00:29:32,100 Who goes to see Tyler Perry movies? 497 00:29:32,200 --> 00:29:33,420 We're an underfed community. 498 00:29:33,520 --> 00:29:35,460 None of this changes the fact that the vibrancy... 499 00:29:35,560 --> 00:29:38,140 the complexity of black culture has been distilled... 500 00:29:38,240 --> 00:29:40,140 into commodities and marketing schemes to be bought and sold. 501 00:29:40,240 --> 00:29:42,180 To the detriment of the so called "real thing." Got it. 502 00:29:42,280 --> 00:29:45,820 It means that I am indistinguishable from the so called "urban" images... 503 00:29:45,920 --> 00:29:48,620 of black folks used to amuse and market to white America. 504 00:29:48,720 --> 00:29:52,100 And the commodification of culture is uniquely oppressive to black people? 505 00:29:52,200 --> 00:29:54,100 So when Kanye raps about Louis V... 506 00:29:54,200 --> 00:29:55,820 and Rolexes and Classical art... 507 00:29:55,920 --> 00:29:57,900 exactly what exploited pockets of Black America... 508 00:29:58,000 --> 00:30:00,447 - are those references being mined from? - From... 509 00:30:11,480 --> 00:30:12,811 On your knees. 510 00:30:32,760 --> 00:30:36,060 What? 511 00:30:36,160 --> 00:30:38,540 You dream in "Cosby" again? 512 00:30:38,640 --> 00:30:45,380 My hair was so straight. My sweater so big. 513 00:30:45,480 --> 00:30:46,891 I told you about that? 514 00:31:27,640 --> 00:31:31,380 Hey so, this whole Head of House thing. Congrats? 515 00:31:31,480 --> 00:31:36,860 Yeah, it's, it's... 516 00:31:36,960 --> 00:31:38,660 Weird, right? 517 00:31:38,760 --> 00:31:40,569 I never took you as a student politician. 518 00:31:42,240 --> 00:31:43,321 Yeah, well... 519 00:31:46,920 --> 00:31:48,285 Sam? 520 00:31:52,000 --> 00:31:53,729 What are we doing? 521 00:31:56,640 --> 00:31:58,529 Fucking. 522 00:32:28,640 --> 00:32:30,580 Dear white people... 523 00:32:30,680 --> 00:32:32,700 please stop touching my hair. 524 00:32:32,800 --> 00:32:35,940 Does this look like a petting zoo to you? 525 00:32:36,040 --> 00:32:38,860 Kurt, it's 3:00. 526 00:32:38,960 --> 00:32:41,008 I know it's already 3:00. 527 00:32:42,400 --> 00:32:43,925 Yo, can I hit that bottle? 528 00:32:46,640 --> 00:32:48,404 Look, we're doing staff picks at game night. 529 00:32:49,320 --> 00:32:50,700 We don't even have a staff yet. 530 00:32:50,800 --> 00:32:52,131 I don't understand... 531 00:32:52,240 --> 00:32:54,820 - Why are we even planning this? - Everybody wants to be on our staff. 532 00:32:54,920 --> 00:32:55,921 That's the easy part. 533 00:32:56,280 --> 00:32:58,540 Look, we're doing staff picks at game night. 534 00:32:58,640 --> 00:33:00,620 RSVPs are already through the roof on that anyway. 535 00:33:00,720 --> 00:33:02,660 Halloween is our premiere party. 536 00:33:02,760 --> 00:33:05,366 The waitlist is already 100 deep. 537 00:33:15,440 --> 00:33:17,460 Guys, we gotta do something huge... 538 00:33:17,560 --> 00:33:19,380 to outdo this summer. 539 00:33:19,480 --> 00:33:21,180 We can always do East-West hip hop party. 540 00:33:21,280 --> 00:33:22,700 Get the honeys up on this piece. 541 00:33:22,800 --> 00:33:24,260 "Honeys." You're from Vermont. 542 00:33:24,360 --> 00:33:26,780 Guys, what's the Pastiche motto? 543 00:33:26,880 --> 00:33:29,140 "Sharpen thy sword." 544 00:33:29,240 --> 00:33:30,900 You mean to tell me... 545 00:33:31,000 --> 00:33:33,128 our motto is a euphemism for jerking off? 546 00:33:33,240 --> 00:33:36,660 No. It's a reminder that satire is the weapon of reason. 547 00:33:36,760 --> 00:33:40,500 So who on campus is being most unreasonable? 548 00:33:40,600 --> 00:33:42,380 You know what it's a reminder to me of? 549 00:33:42,480 --> 00:33:44,300 How gay Gordon is. 550 00:33:44,400 --> 00:33:46,180 - Was that a reasonable attempt... - What do you want? 551 00:33:46,280 --> 00:33:48,580 - At a quip, Mitch? - Could you say reasonable one more time? 552 00:33:48,680 --> 00:33:50,940 - It makes you sound good. - Guys, shut up. 553 00:33:51,040 --> 00:33:52,380 Knowing Lil' Wayne lyrics... 554 00:33:52,480 --> 00:33:54,860 no longer earns you an honorary black card. 555 00:33:54,960 --> 00:33:57,566 It just reminds me of how often you say the word "nigga"... 556 00:33:57,680 --> 00:33:59,460 when no one black is around... 557 00:33:59,560 --> 00:34:02,100 as is required in reciting said lyrics. 558 00:34:02,200 --> 00:34:03,690 Look at that. 559 00:34:05,160 --> 00:34:06,820 God, who does Sam think she is? 560 00:34:06,920 --> 00:34:08,780 Seriously, dude, it's like... 561 00:34:08,880 --> 00:34:11,850 Spike Lee and Oprah had some sort of pissed off baby. 562 00:34:14,960 --> 00:34:16,780 Hey. 563 00:34:18,280 --> 00:34:20,580 - Uh-huh. - Can we? Could we? 564 00:34:20,680 --> 00:34:22,140 How? 565 00:34:22,240 --> 00:34:23,526 Easy. 566 00:34:25,560 --> 00:34:27,940 Hi, Lionel. What do you want? 567 00:34:28,040 --> 00:34:32,060 Lionel, I spoke with the dean today. 568 00:34:32,160 --> 00:34:34,100 We had a very enlightening conversation. 569 00:34:34,200 --> 00:34:36,180 And I just wanted to let you know... 570 00:34:36,280 --> 00:34:37,964 I'm sorry about the voice message. 571 00:34:40,200 --> 00:34:43,340 Do you accept? Do you? 572 00:34:43,440 --> 00:34:44,300 Please put that away. 573 00:34:44,400 --> 00:34:47,404 Sometimes you just got to talk to these people in a language... 574 00:34:47,520 --> 00:34:49,460 that they're going to understand. 575 00:34:49,560 --> 00:34:52,086 - Pathetic. - What was that? 576 00:34:54,440 --> 00:34:56,700 All right. 577 00:34:56,800 --> 00:34:59,420 Wherever they ship you off to... 578 00:34:59,520 --> 00:35:02,808 be sure to pack a sense of humor, all right? 579 00:35:22,960 --> 00:35:25,167 The Tip Test. 580 00:35:26,400 --> 00:35:28,300 You hit up Jelly's for a snack. 581 00:35:28,400 --> 00:35:31,860 Your waitress mistakes you for someone who looks like you, black... 582 00:35:31,960 --> 00:35:35,060 who once ran up a $30 bill and left a dollar tip. 583 00:35:35,160 --> 00:35:38,050 You watch all the other customers order before you do... 584 00:35:39,360 --> 00:35:40,820 Pastrami sandwich on rye. 585 00:35:40,920 --> 00:35:45,005 And then proceed to wait no less than 40 minutes for your food. 586 00:35:49,760 --> 00:35:50,940 How do you tip? 587 00:35:51,040 --> 00:35:51,848 A. 588 00:35:51,960 --> 00:35:54,340 40 minutes? She's lucky if she gets 40 cents. 589 00:35:54,440 --> 00:35:57,060 Okay, you do a good job, maybe see a tip. 590 00:35:57,160 --> 00:35:58,002 B. 591 00:35:59,520 --> 00:36:01,460 She was tripping, but... 592 00:36:01,560 --> 00:36:03,260 15% is the least I can do. 593 00:36:03,360 --> 00:36:04,780 Or C. 594 00:36:04,880 --> 00:36:07,486 I reject the stereotype that African-Americans do not tip. 595 00:36:07,600 --> 00:36:11,082 I will leave 20... no, 25, just to prove that I can. 596 00:36:16,240 --> 00:36:19,767 One hundred. Oofta. Nose job. 597 00:36:24,640 --> 00:36:26,051 Dear white people... 598 00:36:26,160 --> 00:36:27,740 In a shocking reversal... 599 00:36:27,840 --> 00:36:30,889 using the term "African-American" is borderline racist now. 600 00:36:31,000 --> 00:36:33,580 It turns out if you're too worried about political correctness... 601 00:36:33,680 --> 00:36:35,380 to say "black", odds are... 602 00:36:35,480 --> 00:36:38,380 you secretly just want to call us niggers anyway... 603 00:36:38,480 --> 00:36:42,300 and truth be told, I'd rather you just be honest about it. 604 00:36:42,400 --> 00:36:43,940 Free speech, my ass. 605 00:36:44,040 --> 00:36:46,380 Oh, Stalin quotes for 200, please? 606 00:36:46,480 --> 00:36:47,860 Oh, you're joking about this? 607 00:36:47,960 --> 00:36:49,220 Oh, I'm sorry. 608 00:36:49,320 --> 00:36:51,260 Was I supposed to take "Free speech, my ass"... 609 00:36:51,360 --> 00:36:53,020 as a legitimate suggestion? 610 00:36:53,120 --> 00:36:54,980 This is your office's issue, Walter. 611 00:36:55,080 --> 00:36:57,780 Especially after that episode with Kurt in the dining hall. 612 00:36:57,880 --> 00:37:00,500 Oh, all race issues are my issues. 613 00:37:00,600 --> 00:37:02,660 This is a student issue... 614 00:37:02,760 --> 00:37:04,900 and you are the Dean of Students, aren't you? 615 00:37:05,000 --> 00:37:06,700 The last thing we need... 616 00:37:06,800 --> 00:37:08,768 is race war in the papers across this country. 617 00:37:09,120 --> 00:37:11,660 How do you think the donor base will feel about that? 618 00:37:11,760 --> 00:37:14,060 The fundraiser is four weeks away. 619 00:37:14,160 --> 00:37:16,811 How bad is this deficit of yours? 620 00:37:16,920 --> 00:37:18,580 It's worse. 621 00:37:18,680 --> 00:37:20,500 And I want to make something really clear. 622 00:37:20,600 --> 00:37:23,300 If this gets any bigger at all, it's on you, Walter. 623 00:37:23,400 --> 00:37:26,820 - Racism is over in America. - What? 624 00:37:26,920 --> 00:37:28,700 The only people who are thinking about it are... 625 00:37:28,800 --> 00:37:30,484 I don't know... Mexicans, probably. 626 00:37:31,280 --> 00:37:33,044 Come on in, son. I was just leaving. 627 00:37:35,240 --> 00:37:37,540 President Fletcher. 628 00:37:37,640 --> 00:37:39,608 - You call me Herb, son. - All right. 629 00:37:45,600 --> 00:37:49,140 Fletcher tells me his son got his ass handed to him. 630 00:37:49,240 --> 00:37:50,162 About time. 631 00:37:50,600 --> 00:37:51,965 No, Sam was out of line. 632 00:37:52,880 --> 00:37:53,722 Kurt is all right. 633 00:37:54,040 --> 00:37:56,247 Well, but you're supposed to be better than all right. 634 00:37:57,920 --> 00:38:00,940 Since when do we start losing elections, Troy? 635 00:38:01,040 --> 00:38:04,020 Well, Dad, the Housing Act passing without a fight didn't help. 636 00:38:04,120 --> 00:38:05,724 And what did I tell you about excuses? 637 00:38:07,360 --> 00:38:09,980 Pops, my course load is full anyway. 638 00:38:10,080 --> 00:38:12,740 I'm head of Econ. Board... 639 00:38:12,840 --> 00:38:14,922 plus, I'm uh... 640 00:38:15,880 --> 00:38:17,928 I'm thinking about joining Pastiche. 641 00:38:19,200 --> 00:38:20,500 Pastiche. 642 00:38:20,600 --> 00:38:22,250 Yeah, you know, to help round out the rest. 643 00:38:22,360 --> 00:38:26,020 On Kurt Fletcher's staff. 644 00:38:26,120 --> 00:38:28,180 I'll be goddamned if after 20 years... 645 00:38:28,280 --> 00:38:30,540 you're working for that dumbass's son. 646 00:38:30,640 --> 00:38:31,740 Yes, sir. 647 00:38:31,840 --> 00:38:34,241 Fletcher and I graduated one year apart. 648 00:38:34,920 --> 00:38:36,649 He barely made it through. 649 00:38:37,240 --> 00:38:39,740 I graduated summa cum laude. 650 00:38:39,840 --> 00:38:41,940 Now who is president and who is dean? 651 00:38:42,040 --> 00:38:43,220 What's the difference? 652 00:38:43,320 --> 00:38:46,380 Oh, a few hundred thousand dollars a year, for starters. 653 00:38:46,480 --> 00:38:48,164 Understand what I'm saying? 654 00:38:49,920 --> 00:38:53,163 What happened between you and Sam that she's coming after you now? 655 00:38:55,400 --> 00:38:57,220 Sophia. 656 00:38:57,320 --> 00:38:58,940 I mean, you do remember Sophia, don't you... 657 00:38:59,040 --> 00:39:00,740 daughter of the president, Psych. Major... 658 00:39:00,840 --> 00:39:01,940 "Has the whole world ahead of her, Troy"? 659 00:39:02,040 --> 00:39:04,884 - Watch your tone. - Sorry, sir. 660 00:39:07,400 --> 00:39:08,811 So you lost the house. 661 00:39:11,760 --> 00:39:14,420 Onto the school presidency. 662 00:39:14,520 --> 00:39:16,220 It would be good to show that the campus... 663 00:39:16,320 --> 00:39:19,847 is capable of electing someone like you... 664 00:39:19,960 --> 00:39:21,121 as school president. 665 00:39:22,760 --> 00:39:24,140 Someone like me. 666 00:39:24,240 --> 00:39:26,083 Someone like you. 667 00:39:51,520 --> 00:39:53,648 Hey, Babe, hat or no hat? 668 00:39:55,840 --> 00:39:57,205 Are you wearing that? 669 00:39:57,920 --> 00:39:59,251 I don't have to be. 670 00:40:00,280 --> 00:40:02,100 Hey, Boo. 671 00:40:02,200 --> 00:40:04,540 How about we put... 672 00:40:04,640 --> 00:40:08,060 some of your newfound free time to good use, hm? 673 00:40:08,160 --> 00:40:09,860 It's been a while since we... 674 00:40:09,960 --> 00:40:11,860 What is with all this "Boo" stuff? 675 00:40:11,960 --> 00:40:13,644 Since you fucked me with your big, black cock. 676 00:40:16,200 --> 00:40:18,620 It used to turn you on when I talked like that. 677 00:40:18,720 --> 00:40:20,580 Is it me? 678 00:40:20,680 --> 00:40:22,444 Sweetheart, I love you. 679 00:40:23,480 --> 00:40:26,140 - Is it Sam? - Can we please just get ready? 680 00:40:26,240 --> 00:40:28,780 Why? I hate my brother's friends. 681 00:40:28,880 --> 00:40:30,740 So you're not going with me. 682 00:40:30,840 --> 00:40:31,980 You'd go without me? 683 00:40:32,080 --> 00:40:34,460 But... you're my guest. 684 00:40:34,560 --> 00:40:36,180 I mean, you could just hang out here and I'll... 685 00:40:36,280 --> 00:40:38,220 What is it with you and my brother? 686 00:40:38,320 --> 00:40:39,580 Are you in love with him? 687 00:40:39,680 --> 00:40:43,020 Is this some, like, DL shit? 688 00:40:43,120 --> 00:40:44,326 DL shit? 689 00:40:46,000 --> 00:40:47,729 Wait, Sophia, hold on. Just stay. 690 00:40:47,840 --> 00:40:49,140 - No, I'm not going. - All right, I'll go with you. 691 00:40:49,240 --> 00:40:51,500 - No. - I'll-I'll go with you. 692 00:40:51,600 --> 00:40:53,090 Sophia? 693 00:40:54,680 --> 00:40:56,780 Oh, my God. He did not. 694 00:40:56,880 --> 00:40:58,380 - Oh, he did. - You are so crazy. 695 00:40:58,480 --> 00:40:59,367 Oh, yeah. 696 00:41:04,200 --> 00:41:06,900 I could do better. 697 00:41:07,000 --> 00:41:09,580 Shh, wait, wait. Quiet. Wait, wait. I want to watch this. 698 00:41:09,680 --> 00:41:12,580 If a bitch could grow straight Indian hair directly out of her own head... 699 00:41:12,680 --> 00:41:14,860 she wouldn't have just overdrafted her account paying for this shit... 700 00:41:14,960 --> 00:41:16,420 but that ain't your business, Boo-Boo. 701 00:41:16,520 --> 00:41:19,180 Oh, my God. I am so sharing this. 702 00:41:19,280 --> 00:41:20,700 Send me the link. 703 00:41:20,800 --> 00:41:21,881 I totally will. 704 00:41:28,040 --> 00:41:28,768 Who was that? 705 00:41:28,880 --> 00:41:31,360 New staffer, maybe. 706 00:41:32,320 --> 00:41:35,961 Don't worry. The negro at the door is not here to rape you. 707 00:41:36,520 --> 00:41:38,220 So this is what editors do? 708 00:41:38,320 --> 00:41:39,620 We're taking a break. 709 00:41:39,720 --> 00:41:41,404 What are you doing here? 710 00:41:42,640 --> 00:41:44,980 You said you want me to drop in and tell you how the story was going. 711 00:41:45,080 --> 00:41:47,660 Like next week. 712 00:41:47,760 --> 00:41:50,500 It's Saturday night. You don't have anywhere else to be? 713 00:41:50,600 --> 00:41:52,860 Well, it was either this or the new Madea movie. 714 00:41:52,960 --> 00:41:55,620 Oh, dear God. Where does she go this time? 715 00:41:55,720 --> 00:41:56,607 Dialysis? 716 00:41:59,240 --> 00:42:00,969 Man, fuck Tyler Perry. 717 00:42:01,080 --> 00:42:03,500 Yes, can we have a movie with, you know, characters in them... 718 00:42:03,600 --> 00:42:06,060 instead of stereotypes wrapped in Christian dogma? 719 00:42:06,160 --> 00:42:08,420 Why is every educated person inherently evil? 720 00:42:08,520 --> 00:42:11,580 Why is this nigga in a motherfucking dress all the motherfucking time? 721 00:42:11,680 --> 00:42:13,900 How come the only black movies Hollywood wants to make... 722 00:42:14,000 --> 00:42:15,740 are ones with black Mamies in fat suits? 723 00:42:15,840 --> 00:42:17,100 Or black women in pain, man? 724 00:42:17,200 --> 00:42:19,300 So basically, we got black people dying in the past... 725 00:42:19,400 --> 00:42:20,845 and black people dying in the present. 726 00:42:22,960 --> 00:42:25,201 Most people are here to see Fang 9. 727 00:42:27,520 --> 00:42:28,500 It's got 2 Chainz in it. 728 00:42:28,600 --> 00:42:30,409 Oh! 729 00:43:29,840 --> 00:43:33,300 Would you stop stereotyping yourself and put that down? 730 00:43:33,400 --> 00:43:35,060 This ain't Friday, man. 731 00:43:35,160 --> 00:43:36,940 Okay, whatever. Yo, Sam... 732 00:43:37,040 --> 00:43:39,980 We gotta... we gotta talk about this protest, girl. 733 00:43:40,080 --> 00:43:44,100 When are we taking the housing fight to the president? 734 00:43:44,200 --> 00:43:46,340 House folded on sponsoring the rally. 735 00:43:46,440 --> 00:43:47,700 What do we need a sponsor for? 736 00:43:47,800 --> 00:43:50,420 Demonstrations that aren't sponsored by a house can get shut down. 737 00:43:50,520 --> 00:43:53,100 What about the house that you're head of? 738 00:43:53,200 --> 00:43:55,660 Hey, Sam, I read Ebony and Ivy. 739 00:43:55,760 --> 00:43:58,980 What's with the "oofta" and "nose job" and "100" stuff? 740 00:43:59,080 --> 00:44:00,860 You want me to break it down for you? 741 00:44:00,960 --> 00:44:02,041 Yeah. 742 00:44:02,160 --> 00:44:04,100 You want to know an ideal Friday in my world? 743 00:44:04,200 --> 00:44:07,220 A fifth of whiskey and my T-Bone Walker records. 744 00:44:07,320 --> 00:44:08,924 Real talk. 745 00:44:09,040 --> 00:44:10,380 Yo, I'm sorry. 746 00:44:10,480 --> 00:44:12,220 Who the fuck is T-Bone Walker? 747 00:44:12,320 --> 00:44:15,140 Only the most influential pioneer... 748 00:44:15,240 --> 00:44:18,540 of electric and jump blues, bro. Know your roots, player. 749 00:44:18,640 --> 00:44:22,260 There are only a few ways colored folks can survive at a place like this. 750 00:44:22,360 --> 00:44:25,020 White folks always be on stuff, like, decades too late... 751 00:44:25,120 --> 00:44:27,380 and then y'all want to try to act like you discovered some shit. 752 00:44:27,480 --> 00:44:30,370 An "oofta" is a jazz-age term... 753 00:44:30,480 --> 00:44:34,060 for Bojangle types who blacked it up for white audiences. 754 00:44:34,160 --> 00:44:36,140 Rock, jazz, blues. 755 00:44:36,240 --> 00:44:37,620 Nigga, what you got on right now? 756 00:44:37,720 --> 00:44:39,820 Some PE. Public Enemy, my nig... 757 00:44:39,920 --> 00:44:42,260 No! Mm-mm. 758 00:44:42,360 --> 00:44:42,980 Watch that, man. 759 00:44:43,080 --> 00:44:44,180 Hey, you just called him. 760 00:44:44,280 --> 00:44:47,140 Look, y'all get country clubs. 761 00:44:47,240 --> 00:44:48,685 We get to say "nigger". 762 00:44:49,720 --> 00:44:54,580 An oofta modulates his blackness up or down depending on the crowd... 763 00:44:54,680 --> 00:44:55,980 and what he wants from them. 764 00:44:56,080 --> 00:44:58,100 What about golf, man? 765 00:44:58,200 --> 00:44:59,540 Or all of our girls? 766 00:44:59,640 --> 00:45:00,940 What do you mean, all your girls? 767 00:45:01,040 --> 00:45:03,500 Well, there's O.J. There's Wesley Snipes. 768 00:45:03,600 --> 00:45:05,220 There's Tiger Woods. 769 00:45:05,320 --> 00:45:07,020 - Troy over here. - Exactly. 770 00:45:07,120 --> 00:45:09,700 No, there's a word for that. Okay? 771 00:45:09,800 --> 00:45:12,100 "Reparation." 772 00:45:12,200 --> 00:45:14,043 Forty white bitches and a mule. 773 00:45:14,840 --> 00:45:17,500 You know, I think Troy would be great for the talk show... 774 00:45:17,600 --> 00:45:18,647 don't you think, Kurt? 775 00:45:22,640 --> 00:45:23,880 I fold. 776 00:45:27,600 --> 00:45:29,900 Okay, and a nose job is a wannabe? 777 00:45:30,000 --> 00:45:31,180 Sort of. 778 00:45:31,280 --> 00:45:33,180 - Have you seen this? - No. 779 00:45:33,280 --> 00:45:35,220 Dear white people using Instagram. 780 00:45:35,320 --> 00:45:38,300 You have an iPhone and you go on hikes. 781 00:45:38,400 --> 00:45:40,846 I get it. 782 00:45:42,000 --> 00:45:45,020 Nose jobs smooth their black edges and try to blend in. 783 00:45:45,120 --> 00:45:46,300 What's up, Mama? 784 00:45:46,400 --> 00:45:48,528 Mm, don't talk like that. 785 00:45:48,640 --> 00:45:49,980 Don't I know you from somewhere? 786 00:45:50,080 --> 00:45:51,340 Hey, where do I know you from? 787 00:45:51,440 --> 00:45:53,540 She was in the video. 788 00:45:53,640 --> 00:45:56,180 - Oh, yeah, video girl. - Check it out. 789 00:45:56,280 --> 00:45:58,180 I hate to do it to you, but I'm going to have to get... 790 00:45:58,280 --> 00:46:00,100 real black with you for a second. 791 00:46:00,200 --> 00:46:02,980 A nose job's worst fear is that their blackness... 792 00:46:03,080 --> 00:46:05,980 might cause a fuss or draw undue attention... 793 00:46:06,080 --> 00:46:08,048 so they use it to self-deprecate. 794 00:46:08,160 --> 00:46:09,580 These white girls and their tans... 795 00:46:09,680 --> 00:46:11,460 they're starting to get darker than me... 796 00:46:11,560 --> 00:46:13,289 which isn't that dark. 797 00:46:14,320 --> 00:46:18,060 Hmm, 40,000 views already. 798 00:46:18,160 --> 00:46:20,540 Looks like somebody submitted you on Buzzfeed. 799 00:46:20,640 --> 00:46:22,420 You're blowing up. 800 00:46:22,520 --> 00:46:25,220 Hey, you want me to get you a refill or something? 801 00:46:25,320 --> 00:46:27,561 Let me guess. 802 00:46:28,160 --> 00:46:29,860 You're from Ohio. 803 00:46:29,960 --> 00:46:32,060 No, I'm actually from Vermont. 804 00:46:32,160 --> 00:46:34,060 But the west side. 805 00:46:34,160 --> 00:46:36,322 So what's your beef with Dear White People? 806 00:46:39,280 --> 00:46:42,020 Dear White People, how do I feel about it? 807 00:46:42,120 --> 00:46:44,380 It's blacker-than-thou propaganda... 808 00:46:44,480 --> 00:46:48,087 from a bougie Lisa Bonet wannabe who smells like patchouli. 809 00:46:48,200 --> 00:46:50,820 But frankly, I can't believe we're letting Sam get away with it. 810 00:46:50,920 --> 00:46:52,340 That's awesome. 811 00:46:52,440 --> 00:46:53,700 Seriously. 812 00:46:53,800 --> 00:46:54,820 That's good. That's nice. 813 00:46:54,920 --> 00:46:55,740 And 100? 814 00:46:55,840 --> 00:46:57,780 Just keeping it 100. 815 00:46:57,880 --> 00:46:59,928 Just being black as hell, just 'cause. 816 00:47:01,720 --> 00:47:03,540 What about just being yourself? 817 00:47:03,640 --> 00:47:04,687 Like I said. 818 00:47:05,000 --> 00:47:08,780 - You don't mind, do you? - Of course not. 819 00:47:08,880 --> 00:47:11,340 There are only a few ways colored folks can survive... 820 00:47:11,440 --> 00:47:12,487 at a place like this. 821 00:47:12,600 --> 00:47:13,620 All right, so then what? 822 00:47:13,720 --> 00:47:15,260 So then Sam says... 823 00:47:15,360 --> 00:47:17,060 "ls Daddy scared that the negroes... 824 00:47:17,160 --> 00:47:19,020 are going to start a rebellion on the plantation?" 825 00:47:19,120 --> 00:47:22,283 - To Kurt Fletcher. - Yeah. Yeah, yeah. 826 00:47:22,400 --> 00:47:24,100 Okay, we've got a news item. 827 00:47:24,200 --> 00:47:26,540 But there's something bigger here. 828 00:47:26,640 --> 00:47:28,940 It's a profile piece... 829 00:47:29,040 --> 00:47:31,540 on Armstrong-Parker and Sam White's pseudo revolution. 830 00:47:31,640 --> 00:47:32,860 What's the headline? 831 00:47:32,960 --> 00:47:35,964 An outdated nationalist seeks purpose, starts race war? 832 00:47:38,120 --> 00:47:39,849 Beer is in the corner. 833 00:47:39,960 --> 00:47:41,420 We'll bang out the news item tonight... 834 00:47:41,520 --> 00:47:43,522 and we'll work on the profile piece next week. 835 00:47:50,240 --> 00:47:53,562 Yo, man. 836 00:47:53,680 --> 00:47:55,820 Now you know I wasn't talking about Soph... 837 00:47:55,920 --> 00:47:57,940 with that whole 40 bitches thing, man. 838 00:47:58,040 --> 00:47:59,460 - I was just, you know... - Just what? 839 00:47:59,560 --> 00:48:01,620 Just trying to get on my staff? 840 00:48:01,720 --> 00:48:04,460 - I mean, I haven't really thought... - Come on, bullshit. 841 00:48:04,560 --> 00:48:07,340 Look, game night is when we make our bids for the new staff, okay? 842 00:48:07,440 --> 00:48:08,620 That's why this guy is here... 843 00:48:08,720 --> 00:48:11,087 and why everybody's here. 844 00:48:11,200 --> 00:48:13,180 I just think having good hair... 845 00:48:13,280 --> 00:48:16,380 and carrying on with a degree of sophistication... 846 00:48:16,480 --> 00:48:18,140 doesn't make me a traitor to the race. 847 00:48:18,240 --> 00:48:20,100 Absolutely. 848 00:48:20,200 --> 00:48:21,980 You want to know why they used to call me Black Mitch? 849 00:48:22,080 --> 00:48:24,020 - Absolutely. - Nobody called you that. 850 00:48:24,120 --> 00:48:25,620 Come on, what were you doing back there? 851 00:48:25,720 --> 00:48:27,300 You're-you're practically sitting there. 852 00:48:27,400 --> 00:48:29,140 You're about like to bust out some kind of tap dance. 853 00:48:29,240 --> 00:48:31,180 Come on, man. I'm a Poli-Sci major, bro. 854 00:48:31,280 --> 00:48:33,140 - I just came to hang out. - It doesn't matter. 855 00:48:33,240 --> 00:48:37,100 Either way. Look, either way my staff, they like you. 856 00:48:37,200 --> 00:48:38,884 A lot. 857 00:48:41,800 --> 00:48:42,961 But you don't. 858 00:48:45,920 --> 00:48:48,300 Look, this thing with you and Soph... 859 00:48:48,400 --> 00:48:49,208 I'm good to her. 860 00:48:49,320 --> 00:48:50,526 It doesn't matter. 861 00:48:52,240 --> 00:48:54,049 Our dads have been playing this chess match... 862 00:48:54,160 --> 00:48:56,860 off and on since 1972. 863 00:48:56,960 --> 00:48:58,620 What and Sophie is the white queen? 864 00:48:58,720 --> 00:49:01,041 You're a pawn, Troy. 865 00:49:02,680 --> 00:49:04,603 And maybe it's time you got off the board. 866 00:49:08,280 --> 00:49:10,980 Here's the deal. Every year we throw a party. 867 00:49:11,080 --> 00:49:13,606 Right? The whole point is to mock... 868 00:49:13,720 --> 00:49:17,100 the self-important and moronic entities of the campus. 869 00:49:17,200 --> 00:49:20,300 Now, one way to get staffed... 870 00:49:20,400 --> 00:49:22,402 is to write an invite for the party. 871 00:49:22,520 --> 00:49:25,420 Our invites, they're- they're freaking legendary. 872 00:49:25,520 --> 00:49:27,980 You know, every year we make the Gawker. We make the Post. 873 00:49:28,080 --> 00:49:29,241 Tons of blogs. 874 00:49:29,360 --> 00:49:30,580 The important thing is... 875 00:49:30,680 --> 00:49:34,260 is if your invite is the one that is picked to be sent out... 876 00:49:34,360 --> 00:49:38,140 then you're guaranteed a spot on our staff. 877 00:49:38,240 --> 00:49:40,580 Okay. 878 00:49:40,680 --> 00:49:42,180 So what is this year's theme? 879 00:49:42,280 --> 00:49:44,380 It's... 880 00:49:44,480 --> 00:49:45,940 I don't know. 881 00:49:46,040 --> 00:49:47,460 Your party is, like, two weeks away. 882 00:49:47,560 --> 00:49:48,180 Yeah, I know. 883 00:49:48,280 --> 00:49:50,726 Kurt, I want you to meet someone. 884 00:49:52,240 --> 00:49:53,526 You know Coco? 885 00:49:54,760 --> 00:49:56,489 You guys got a party coming up? 886 00:50:00,600 --> 00:50:03,444 Got to rally, Sam. Time is now. 887 00:50:03,560 --> 00:50:04,460 Reggie, use your head. 888 00:50:04,560 --> 00:50:06,860 Do you really think that a rally is going to change things? 889 00:50:06,960 --> 00:50:09,980 It will do a hell of a lot more than a radio show with views on YouTube. 890 00:50:10,080 --> 00:50:11,780 Oh, okay. 891 00:50:11,880 --> 00:50:15,700 Look... We got power. 892 00:50:15,800 --> 00:50:18,180 Okay? And it's time we use it. 893 00:50:18,280 --> 00:50:19,420 We earned it. 894 00:50:19,520 --> 00:50:20,620 We? Oh, that's funny... 895 00:50:20,720 --> 00:50:23,326 'cause I didn't see you running for shit, Reggie. 896 00:50:28,800 --> 00:50:30,245 Sam. 897 00:50:39,760 --> 00:50:42,180 - Really? - Tired. 898 00:50:42,280 --> 00:50:44,009 Don't one word me. 899 00:50:54,680 --> 00:50:56,260 Did we go too far? 900 00:50:56,360 --> 00:50:58,700 Did we pass Armstrong-Parker? 901 00:50:58,800 --> 00:51:02,700 No, I'm Garmin. 902 00:51:02,800 --> 00:51:04,820 Fancy. 903 00:51:04,920 --> 00:51:06,780 Why do you always got to... 904 00:51:06,880 --> 00:51:08,882 snap at me all the time? 905 00:51:09,000 --> 00:51:11,260 I'm around you 24/7 like a lapdog... 906 00:51:11,360 --> 00:51:14,100 and I don't even really be messing with no redbone chicks like that. 907 00:51:14,200 --> 00:51:15,060 Don't call me that. 908 00:51:15,160 --> 00:51:16,980 Girl, I thought you was Puerto Rican when I met you. 909 00:51:17,080 --> 00:51:17,860 Oh, okay. 910 00:51:17,960 --> 00:51:19,500 Oh, you can dish it, but you can't take it? 911 00:51:19,600 --> 00:51:21,125 No, I'm taking my ass home. 912 00:51:23,600 --> 00:51:25,762 George... 913 00:51:26,720 --> 00:51:29,820 I'm not really down with Sam... 914 00:51:29,920 --> 00:51:31,420 and I'm not in the BSU. 915 00:51:31,520 --> 00:51:33,620 I got kicked out of Armstrong-Parker... 916 00:51:33,720 --> 00:51:35,165 same as Kurt. 917 00:51:37,000 --> 00:51:40,220 But I'm going to write a good article. 918 00:51:40,320 --> 00:51:41,401 Okay? 919 00:51:42,440 --> 00:51:43,500 Come on, Sam. 920 00:51:43,600 --> 00:51:45,967 You know how I feel about you. 921 00:51:46,080 --> 00:51:48,300 How am I supposed to know how you feel about me? 922 00:51:48,400 --> 00:51:49,970 You know what? 923 00:51:51,240 --> 00:51:52,980 Forgive me if I see something in you... 924 00:51:53,080 --> 00:51:55,128 something inspiring. 925 00:51:59,080 --> 00:52:01,003 Some folks like me can get behind. 926 00:52:48,960 --> 00:52:51,008 Tell me you'll set up the rally. 927 00:52:55,760 --> 00:52:57,489 I'll set up the rally. 928 00:52:58,920 --> 00:53:01,161 - Absolutely. - Right? I think so. 929 00:53:01,280 --> 00:53:03,180 I think... I think it's bold. 930 00:53:03,280 --> 00:53:05,380 I think it's ironic. 931 00:53:05,480 --> 00:53:07,050 I think it's everything we need... 932 00:53:07,160 --> 00:53:08,820 and don't tell me I'm the only one... 933 00:53:08,920 --> 00:53:11,620 that thinks Sam White's little movement needs to be cut down to size. 934 00:53:11,720 --> 00:53:13,220 - Right, right? - Yep. 935 00:53:13,320 --> 00:53:15,580 Beautiful. Mitch? 936 00:53:15,680 --> 00:53:17,380 You got your hip-hop party, man. 937 00:53:17,480 --> 00:53:19,780 Bolly, bolly. 938 00:53:19,880 --> 00:53:21,020 I'm telling you, man. 939 00:53:21,120 --> 00:53:22,460 This is going to be huge. 940 00:53:22,560 --> 00:53:24,820 Fucking epic. 941 00:53:24,920 --> 00:53:26,460 If you'll excuse us... 942 00:53:26,560 --> 00:53:28,260 we will be in touch. 943 00:53:28,360 --> 00:53:29,900 Troy... 944 00:53:30,000 --> 00:53:31,604 get off the board, man. 945 00:53:37,160 --> 00:53:38,685 It was nice seeing you again. 946 00:53:39,760 --> 00:53:41,205 Where's Sophia? 947 00:53:43,320 --> 00:53:45,049 I have no idea. 948 00:53:46,680 --> 00:53:48,603 Can't wait to see what story you come up with. 949 00:53:50,920 --> 00:53:52,285 Night, Lionel. 950 00:54:01,920 --> 00:54:04,048 Ah-ah-ah-ah. 951 00:54:04,360 --> 00:54:05,964 Party is not over. 952 00:54:06,720 --> 00:54:09,060 It's two o'clock in the morning. 953 00:54:09,160 --> 00:54:11,100 Sorry, bro. 954 00:54:11,200 --> 00:54:12,645 Invitation only. 955 00:54:43,040 --> 00:54:44,530 Trouble in paradise? 956 00:54:48,240 --> 00:54:50,004 Figures. 957 00:54:53,840 --> 00:54:55,260 Nothing. 958 00:54:55,360 --> 00:54:58,260 I'm sure you have something else... 959 00:54:58,360 --> 00:55:02,900 fair and petite and fair... 960 00:55:03,000 --> 00:55:04,650 lined up for that drink. 961 00:55:07,760 --> 00:55:09,489 And what's that supposed to mean? 962 00:55:13,120 --> 00:55:17,940 Oh, no, really, it's fine. 963 00:55:18,040 --> 00:55:20,520 I'm not even really into black dudes anyway. 964 00:55:26,680 --> 00:55:29,420 Coco, huh? 965 00:55:29,520 --> 00:55:31,740 Colandrea doesn't exactly... 966 00:55:31,840 --> 00:55:34,100 pass the resume test, you know? 967 00:55:34,200 --> 00:55:37,020 Can you fucking die? 968 00:55:37,120 --> 00:55:39,940 I mean, my parents really should have just named me... 969 00:55:40,040 --> 00:55:43,886 Ghetto-ass Hoodrat-ass Aneisha. 970 00:55:56,000 --> 00:56:00,660 Do you indulge? 971 00:56:00,760 --> 00:56:02,489 You know, it is 10 A.M. 972 00:56:04,440 --> 00:56:06,090 I don't mess with that stuff. 973 00:56:08,640 --> 00:56:10,881 You sure you don't like black guys? 974 00:56:12,320 --> 00:56:14,260 Girl like me is just a placeholder... 975 00:56:14,360 --> 00:56:16,886 for y'all at a place like this. 976 00:56:17,240 --> 00:56:18,740 I'm not like that. 977 00:56:18,840 --> 00:56:20,660 I don't think Sam would agree. 978 00:56:20,760 --> 00:56:22,940 Poor thing. 979 00:56:23,040 --> 00:56:25,691 She was light-skinned and everything. 980 00:56:28,600 --> 00:56:31,126 Hell, I said it wasn't like that. 981 00:56:32,960 --> 00:56:34,580 All right? 982 00:56:34,680 --> 00:56:37,620 My Pops, he wanted me with Fletcher's daughter. 983 00:56:37,720 --> 00:56:41,460 Those two have been in competition with each other ever since they went here. 984 00:56:41,560 --> 00:56:44,420 He's not going to like you running with those Pastiche boys, is he? 985 00:56:44,520 --> 00:56:47,220 If I even get tapped. 986 00:56:47,320 --> 00:56:48,810 You will. 987 00:56:50,200 --> 00:56:51,440 You should do it. 988 00:56:52,520 --> 00:56:54,100 They all land somewhere big... 989 00:56:54,200 --> 00:56:56,521 some before they even graduate. 990 00:56:57,400 --> 00:56:59,860 I've seen you in front of a crowd, Troy. 991 00:56:59,960 --> 00:57:02,361 I bet you could be famous. 992 00:57:02,480 --> 00:57:04,084 So is that what you want? 993 00:57:06,080 --> 00:57:07,445 To be famous? 994 00:57:13,640 --> 00:57:15,340 I want people... 995 00:57:15,440 --> 00:57:17,380 to know my name. 996 00:57:17,480 --> 00:57:19,528 Which one? 997 00:57:32,160 --> 00:57:33,300 "We want you. 998 00:57:33,400 --> 00:57:36,643 "Come by Ellington tomorrow at eight." 999 00:57:39,840 --> 00:57:41,444 Anything? 1000 00:57:43,000 --> 00:57:44,240 Thanks. 1001 00:57:57,640 --> 00:58:00,484 You're going to have to stand up to him sooner or later. 1002 00:58:09,680 --> 00:58:11,284 You said you loved me. 1003 00:58:14,840 --> 00:58:16,683 I like you a lot. 1004 00:58:23,320 --> 00:58:25,100 What do you do... 1005 00:58:25,200 --> 00:58:28,020 when you go in the bathroom? 1006 00:58:28,120 --> 00:58:30,282 Or is it just to get away from me? 1007 00:58:34,080 --> 00:58:37,340 I smoke weed. 1008 00:58:37,440 --> 00:58:39,681 And I write jokes. 1009 00:59:39,080 --> 00:59:41,526 - What the hell are you doing here? - This is my apartment. 1010 00:59:41,640 --> 00:59:43,369 Like hell it is. 1011 00:59:44,320 --> 00:59:47,180 - Dean said this was the only opening. - Well, head of house doesn't share. 1012 00:59:47,280 --> 00:59:49,362 But you're not head of house. 1013 01:00:11,960 --> 01:00:14,884 Yo, come on, guys. Are you serious? 1014 01:00:16,280 --> 01:00:18,851 All right, all right, I think they've had enough. 1015 01:00:43,240 --> 01:00:44,740 Hello. 1016 01:00:44,840 --> 01:00:46,140 Finally made it in. 1017 01:00:46,240 --> 01:00:47,620 You moved around a lot, right? 1018 01:00:47,720 --> 01:00:49,220 You must have been terrified... 1019 01:00:49,320 --> 01:00:51,700 when you saw Armstrong-Parker written on your moving assignment. 1020 01:00:51,800 --> 01:00:53,220 I was just finishing up. 1021 01:00:53,320 --> 01:00:56,500 - Do black people scare you? - No. 1022 01:00:56,600 --> 01:00:58,420 You're too scared to even ask anyone for a cut. 1023 01:00:58,520 --> 01:00:59,726 I'm growing it out. 1024 01:00:59,840 --> 01:01:01,340 He's growing it out. 1025 01:01:01,440 --> 01:01:04,100 You're fostering an ecosystem. 1026 01:01:04,200 --> 01:01:06,340 My man, how come you never come to BSU? 1027 01:01:06,440 --> 01:01:09,860 I listen to Mumford & Sons and watch Robert Altman movies. 1028 01:01:09,960 --> 01:01:11,620 You really think I'm black enough for the Union? 1029 01:01:11,720 --> 01:01:14,740 Yeah, I love Robert Altman. 1030 01:01:14,840 --> 01:01:16,220 Fucker goes in. 1031 01:01:16,320 --> 01:01:17,620 All right. 1032 01:01:17,720 --> 01:01:20,300 We're not all homophobes, you know, black folks. 1033 01:01:20,400 --> 01:01:22,060 I'm listening to Frank Ocean right now. 1034 01:01:22,160 --> 01:01:23,300 I don't give a fuck. 1035 01:01:23,400 --> 01:01:25,300 I'm-I'm late for class. 1036 01:01:25,400 --> 01:01:28,340 Look, you're the new black voice of the Bugle. 1037 01:01:28,440 --> 01:01:30,568 We're just trying to figure out if you're a friend or a foe. 1038 01:01:31,440 --> 01:01:33,408 We got to protect our girl. 1039 01:01:35,240 --> 01:01:36,900 I'm not even on staff. 1040 01:01:37,000 --> 01:01:38,420 I mean, I have to make good on my assignment. 1041 01:01:38,520 --> 01:01:40,460 Assignment, what's the story? 1042 01:01:40,560 --> 01:01:43,260 It's a profile piece on black culture here at Winchester. 1043 01:01:43,360 --> 01:01:45,328 Which you are so clearly an expert on. 1044 01:01:46,120 --> 01:01:48,820 Tell me, man. What's harder? Being black enough for the black kids... 1045 01:01:48,920 --> 01:01:50,251 or black enough for the white ones? 1046 01:01:51,600 --> 01:01:53,170 Being neither. 1047 01:01:58,520 --> 01:01:59,760 Really, Sam? 1048 01:02:39,120 --> 01:02:40,406 Running late... 1049 01:02:42,240 --> 01:02:43,366 for your little rally? 1050 01:02:45,240 --> 01:02:47,420 Forget your sign? 1051 01:02:47,520 --> 01:02:50,500 You honestly think this is in the spirit of Armstrong-Parker house? 1052 01:02:50,600 --> 01:02:53,500 The role of counterculture is to wake up the mainstream. 1053 01:02:53,600 --> 01:02:55,260 I have furniture older than you. 1054 01:02:55,360 --> 01:02:56,980 Counterculture? 1055 01:02:57,080 --> 01:02:59,060 Is that what you think this is? 1056 01:02:59,160 --> 01:03:01,340 - Your little show? - What about my show? 1057 01:03:01,440 --> 01:03:03,780 Your show is racist. 1058 01:03:03,880 --> 01:03:05,380 Black people can't be racist. 1059 01:03:05,480 --> 01:03:08,020 Prejudiced, yes, but not racist. 1060 01:03:08,120 --> 01:03:11,060 Racism describes a system of disadvantage based on race. 1061 01:03:11,160 --> 01:03:12,420 Black people can't be racist... 1062 01:03:12,520 --> 01:03:15,180 since we don't stand to benefit from such a system. 1063 01:03:15,280 --> 01:03:17,408 Your antics are making press, Sam. 1064 01:03:17,520 --> 01:03:21,020 And press like this keeps men like President Fletcher up at night. 1065 01:03:21,120 --> 01:03:22,700 Warm milk? 1066 01:03:22,800 --> 01:03:24,540 He's building a file on you. 1067 01:03:24,640 --> 01:03:27,660 Okay, it's not my fault that your son couldn't beat me in an election. 1068 01:03:27,760 --> 01:03:29,820 I'm sure it was tough growing up... 1069 01:03:29,920 --> 01:03:31,900 wondering which side you fit into. 1070 01:03:32,000 --> 01:03:34,810 Feeling like you have to overcompensate, perhaps. 1071 01:03:40,280 --> 01:03:42,260 If that's true, Dean... 1072 01:03:42,360 --> 01:03:43,646 I'm not the only one. 1073 01:03:56,840 --> 01:03:58,620 Hey, hey, hey, brother. 1074 01:03:58,720 --> 01:04:00,529 There you are. 1075 01:04:01,720 --> 01:04:03,340 That one over there. 1076 01:04:03,440 --> 01:04:04,726 And that one over there. 1077 01:04:06,680 --> 01:04:08,540 There you are. 1078 01:04:08,640 --> 01:04:09,900 Thought we were supposed to start at 12, right? 1079 01:04:10,000 --> 01:04:11,540 Yeah, I told you I had class. 1080 01:04:11,640 --> 01:04:13,260 This is going up on Gillespie. 1081 01:04:13,360 --> 01:04:15,169 It's good, right? 1082 01:04:17,560 --> 01:04:19,700 Oh, what's this? 1083 01:04:19,800 --> 01:04:21,540 Yo, you ain't getting cold feet. 1084 01:04:21,640 --> 01:04:24,803 No, but... how long do I have to talk? 1085 01:04:24,920 --> 01:04:27,140 You're kidding me, right? 1086 01:04:27,240 --> 01:04:28,685 It's sort of the keynote. 1087 01:04:31,040 --> 01:04:33,460 Look, Reggie, I think that the whole Malcolm X thing is more your lane. 1088 01:04:33,560 --> 01:04:34,340 I'm just not... 1089 01:04:34,440 --> 01:04:36,488 These people came here to see you, Sam. 1090 01:04:36,600 --> 01:04:39,251 Grab a bullhorn, turn it on. 1091 01:04:55,160 --> 01:04:57,970 Hi. No, I'm kind of in the middle... 1092 01:05:02,200 --> 01:05:03,440 Okay... 1093 01:05:08,680 --> 01:05:10,967 Okay. 1094 01:05:19,840 --> 01:05:21,001 Okay. 1095 01:05:31,600 --> 01:05:32,886 I got to... 1096 01:05:34,640 --> 01:05:35,562 You ready? 1097 01:05:45,280 --> 01:05:46,611 Sam. 1098 01:05:49,200 --> 01:05:51,060 Sam! 1099 01:05:51,160 --> 01:05:53,100 Sam, you have our protest permits! 1100 01:05:53,200 --> 01:05:54,440 Sam. 1101 01:05:57,520 --> 01:05:58,020 Sam. 1102 01:05:58,120 --> 01:05:59,740 Do you want me to tell him to go? 1103 01:05:59,840 --> 01:06:03,180 - You're so tough. - I will. 1104 01:06:03,280 --> 01:06:04,940 No, I want you to wait until they've gone... 1105 01:06:05,040 --> 01:06:06,540 and then I want you to head home. 1106 01:06:06,640 --> 01:06:08,100 I'm trying to be here for you. 1107 01:06:08,200 --> 01:06:09,860 Can you be somewhere else for me? 1108 01:06:09,960 --> 01:06:12,167 Sam, we know you're home. We just want to talk. 1109 01:06:12,280 --> 01:06:13,884 What do you see in him? 1110 01:06:16,240 --> 01:06:18,720 The only eligible single brother on campus. 1111 01:06:20,680 --> 01:06:22,740 Okay, okay. 1112 01:06:22,840 --> 01:06:24,922 No, I get it. Your parents owned in Harlem, or something, right? 1113 01:06:25,040 --> 01:06:26,700 You watched Do The Right Thing in high school... 1114 01:06:26,800 --> 01:06:28,700 and now you just want to prove that you're down. 1115 01:06:28,800 --> 01:06:29,500 I want to be down? 1116 01:06:29,600 --> 01:06:31,100 How long does it take to get your hair like that? 1117 01:06:31,200 --> 01:06:33,460 Yo, Sam, open the door. 1118 01:06:33,560 --> 01:06:36,260 I will call you tomorrow, Reggie! 1119 01:06:36,360 --> 01:06:37,820 Damn. 1120 01:06:37,920 --> 01:06:39,260 You don't understand. Girls like me... 1121 01:06:39,360 --> 01:06:41,100 What, have to pick a side? 1122 01:06:41,200 --> 01:06:43,100 I'm sick of your tragic mulatto bullshit, Sam. 1123 01:06:43,200 --> 01:06:44,440 You can't say "mulatto." 1124 01:06:44,560 --> 01:06:45,740 Mulatto, mulatto, mulatto! 1125 01:06:45,840 --> 01:06:47,060 Did somebody say "mulatto"? 1126 01:06:47,160 --> 01:06:48,740 Window. Go out the window. 1127 01:06:48,840 --> 01:06:50,460 I'm sorry if I can't be your Nubian prince... 1128 01:06:50,560 --> 01:06:52,380 on my black horse ready to take you back to fucking Zumunda. 1129 01:06:52,480 --> 01:06:53,940 That's not a real African country. 1130 01:06:54,040 --> 01:06:57,123 Can I at least get a little credit for a solid Coming to America reference? 1131 01:06:59,760 --> 01:07:01,180 This isn't you, Sam. 1132 01:07:01,280 --> 01:07:03,521 No? And who am I? 1133 01:07:04,680 --> 01:07:06,940 You're this... girl. 1134 01:07:07,040 --> 01:07:08,420 Perceptive. 1135 01:07:08,520 --> 01:07:11,220 Who likes to argue with me about every fucking thing. 1136 01:07:11,320 --> 01:07:13,820 And I hate it, because we both know you're smarter than me. 1137 01:07:13,920 --> 01:07:16,100 Your favorite director is Bergman... 1138 01:07:16,200 --> 01:07:18,260 but you tell people it's Spike Lee. 1139 01:07:18,360 --> 01:07:20,740 You love bebop, but you've got a thing for Taylor Swift. 1140 01:07:20,840 --> 01:07:22,780 I know, because my Mac picks up your Mac's library. 1141 01:07:22,880 --> 01:07:23,620 I was so careful. 1142 01:07:23,720 --> 01:07:26,300 You like to watch me when you think I'm sleeping... 1143 01:07:26,400 --> 01:07:28,100 and trace the outlines of my face. 1144 01:07:28,200 --> 01:07:29,620 We're ready to go, man! 1145 01:07:29,720 --> 01:07:31,609 You're more Banksy than Barack... 1146 01:07:31,720 --> 01:07:35,060 but you've been co-opted as some sort of revolutionary leader or something? 1147 01:07:35,160 --> 01:07:36,540 But really? 1148 01:07:36,640 --> 01:07:38,260 You're an anarchist... 1149 01:07:38,360 --> 01:07:41,500 shit starter, a beautiful filmmaker. 1150 01:07:41,600 --> 01:07:43,380 And beautiful... 1151 01:07:43,480 --> 01:07:44,561 in general. 1152 01:07:54,440 --> 01:07:56,980 Yeah. 1153 01:07:57,080 --> 01:07:58,605 Yeah? 1154 01:08:00,760 --> 01:08:01,966 Yeah? 1155 01:08:04,600 --> 01:08:06,125 Okay, get some sleep. 1156 01:08:10,080 --> 01:08:11,570 Everything all right? 1157 01:08:14,840 --> 01:08:16,763 His condition is stable. 1158 01:08:18,480 --> 01:08:20,860 Good. 1159 01:08:20,960 --> 01:08:22,962 That's good, Sam. 1160 01:08:24,400 --> 01:08:25,765 Open the door! 1161 01:08:27,440 --> 01:08:28,700 Sam! 1162 01:08:28,800 --> 01:08:30,700 Gabe... 1163 01:08:30,800 --> 01:08:32,370 What? 1164 01:08:38,600 --> 01:08:40,090 Sorry. 1165 01:08:53,640 --> 01:08:55,900 Your video is picking up steam. 1166 01:08:56,000 --> 01:08:57,729 I told you I was good TV. 1167 01:09:00,000 --> 01:09:01,700 Yeah, the show I'm scouting for... 1168 01:09:01,800 --> 01:09:03,300 is called Black Face, White Place. 1169 01:09:03,400 --> 01:09:05,220 It's a reality, like true life. 1170 01:09:05,320 --> 01:09:07,580 Every episode focuses on a different one of us... 1171 01:09:07,680 --> 01:09:08,920 and the ceiling. 1172 01:09:09,040 --> 01:09:10,420 Interesting. 1173 01:09:10,520 --> 01:09:13,100 Interesting? 1174 01:09:13,200 --> 01:09:15,140 You think they want interesting, dignified stories... 1175 01:09:15,240 --> 01:09:17,500 of triumph and survival? No. 1176 01:09:17,600 --> 01:09:20,020 They want the authentic urban experience... 1177 01:09:20,120 --> 01:09:21,645 which is basically network talk... 1178 01:09:21,760 --> 01:09:23,524 for bitching and weeping. 1179 01:09:25,920 --> 01:09:28,420 I'm telling you this because the network wants... 1180 01:09:28,520 --> 01:09:30,700 to pick a certain subject to go to series. 1181 01:09:30,800 --> 01:09:34,180 We've got one episode, one shot at that subject... 1182 01:09:34,280 --> 01:09:37,011 - so if we do this... - We do it all the way. 1183 01:09:38,440 --> 01:09:40,900 Guessing Sam turned you down? 1184 01:09:41,000 --> 01:09:42,540 I think so. She called me... 1185 01:09:42,640 --> 01:09:45,220 a bojangling oofta, whatever that means. 1186 01:09:45,320 --> 01:09:47,380 40,000 views, that's good... 1187 01:09:47,480 --> 01:09:48,700 but it's not great. 1188 01:09:48,800 --> 01:09:51,140 Well, I'm about to get a whole lot more. 1189 01:09:51,240 --> 01:09:53,980 Look, we don't have anybody... 1190 01:09:54,080 --> 01:09:56,540 like you and you had a great idea, so we... 1191 01:09:56,640 --> 01:09:59,060 I want to emcee it. 1192 01:09:59,160 --> 01:09:59,980 Your party. 1193 01:10:00,080 --> 01:10:04,020 Okay. Okay, well... 1194 01:10:04,120 --> 01:10:05,940 Look, we're here to talk to you about what we want. 1195 01:10:06,040 --> 01:10:07,380 You want me. 1196 01:10:07,480 --> 01:10:09,140 And in order to get me... 1197 01:10:09,240 --> 01:10:11,100 you have to let me emcee your party. 1198 01:10:11,200 --> 01:10:14,020 Oh, and I'd also like to do a live video blog... 1199 01:10:14,120 --> 01:10:15,100 for my web series. 1200 01:10:15,200 --> 01:10:16,500 Are they going to let you do that? 1201 01:10:16,600 --> 01:10:18,329 They've got to. 1202 01:10:18,440 --> 01:10:19,540 They need me. 1203 01:10:19,640 --> 01:10:20,900 Without me... 1204 01:10:21,000 --> 01:10:23,980 you guys look like a bunch of privileged assholes. 1205 01:10:24,080 --> 01:10:26,540 Right, well, we don't... we don't really let people... 1206 01:10:26,640 --> 01:10:28,500 "video blog" our-our events. 1207 01:10:28,600 --> 01:10:30,580 Well... 1208 01:10:30,680 --> 01:10:33,650 you got a week to put this thing together, Boo-Boo. 1209 01:10:36,080 --> 01:10:37,940 So what's it going to be? 1210 01:10:38,040 --> 01:10:39,485 You look surprised. 1211 01:10:41,720 --> 01:10:45,940 It's just not everyone is as camera ready as you are. 1212 01:10:46,040 --> 01:10:48,520 Get your game on for only $3.99 a month. 1213 01:10:50,200 --> 01:10:51,900 The important thing is... 1214 01:10:52,000 --> 01:10:53,980 if your invite is the one that is picked... 1215 01:10:54,080 --> 01:10:56,845 to be sent out, then you are guaranteed a spot on our staff. 1216 01:10:58,960 --> 01:11:01,180 ...for a low, low price. 1217 01:11:01,280 --> 01:11:04,489 The sci-fi marathon continues right now. 1218 01:11:15,120 --> 01:11:17,100 Just over nine minutes to go in this quarter. 1219 01:11:17,200 --> 01:11:19,043 They need to score on this drive. 1220 01:11:21,200 --> 01:11:22,611 Looking for the blitz, but he... 1221 01:11:39,000 --> 01:11:40,206 Troy, come on in. 1222 01:11:40,840 --> 01:11:43,650 Martin, share with Troy what you've just shared with me. 1223 01:11:45,520 --> 01:11:48,980 The server that processes the voting results for house elections... 1224 01:11:49,080 --> 01:11:51,048 has shut down the AP database. 1225 01:11:51,160 --> 01:11:52,820 Apparently, the intermediary program... 1226 01:11:52,920 --> 01:11:54,620 is on a refractile loop. 1227 01:11:54,720 --> 01:11:57,300 I'm a Poli-Sci major, man. 1228 01:11:57,400 --> 01:12:00,580 Sam currently has 445 votes. 1229 01:12:00,680 --> 01:12:05,100 That's 200 more than she had last week during the actual election. 1230 01:12:05,200 --> 01:12:06,460 She cheated. 1231 01:12:06,560 --> 01:12:08,100 She hacked the system. 1232 01:12:08,200 --> 01:12:10,860 I wouldn't even know how to do a thing like that. 1233 01:12:10,960 --> 01:12:14,060 Is this little war of yours really so important? 1234 01:12:14,160 --> 01:12:17,180 Look, I understand the pressure to stand for something in an institution like this... 1235 01:12:17,280 --> 01:12:19,900 but you're barking up the wrong tree. Okay? 1236 01:12:20,000 --> 01:12:21,580 It had to have been Reggie. 1237 01:12:21,680 --> 01:12:23,284 Guy's in my programming class. 1238 01:12:23,400 --> 01:12:27,060 Good, just forgot to turn his program off. 1239 01:12:27,160 --> 01:12:29,380 Wow. 1240 01:12:29,480 --> 01:12:31,403 You are the rightful head of house. 1241 01:12:33,840 --> 01:12:35,420 So great. 1242 01:12:35,520 --> 01:12:38,580 Martin, let me speak to Troy for a bit. 1243 01:12:38,680 --> 01:12:41,420 I appreciate this. 1244 01:12:41,520 --> 01:12:44,380 Your advisor tells me that you're hanging on by a thread in your major. 1245 01:12:44,480 --> 01:12:48,860 Maybe it's time for you to reprioritize. 1246 01:12:48,960 --> 01:12:51,140 You're trying to frighten me... 1247 01:12:51,240 --> 01:12:54,340 but I think you're the one who is scared. 1248 01:12:54,440 --> 01:12:57,620 And I think that you long for days... 1249 01:12:57,720 --> 01:13:00,740 when blacks were hanging from trees and denied actual rights. 1250 01:13:00,840 --> 01:13:04,660 That way you would have something to actually fight against. 1251 01:13:04,760 --> 01:13:06,740 You'll be facing two hearings in the coming weeks... 1252 01:13:06,840 --> 01:13:09,100 that could end in either a suspension or probation. 1253 01:13:09,200 --> 01:13:12,124 One on the merit of your show... 1254 01:13:12,240 --> 01:13:16,180 the other on your election to head of house. 1255 01:13:16,280 --> 01:13:18,860 Your responsibilities to your house are suspended. 1256 01:13:18,960 --> 01:13:20,660 Your show is dead. 1257 01:13:20,760 --> 01:13:23,980 And if there is another one of your illegal demonstrations... 1258 01:13:24,080 --> 01:13:26,380 it's going to get a lot worse. 1259 01:13:26,480 --> 01:13:28,260 This is a critical time for this school. 1260 01:13:28,360 --> 01:13:31,300 You're damn right it is. 1261 01:13:31,400 --> 01:13:33,562 We don't have an intolerance problem here. 1262 01:13:35,080 --> 01:13:36,809 Except for the one I'm looking at. 1263 01:13:39,760 --> 01:13:44,004 You didn't tell me that you and Sophia had a misunderstanding. 1264 01:13:45,920 --> 01:13:46,780 Who did? 1265 01:13:46,880 --> 01:13:49,140 Her father. 1266 01:13:49,240 --> 01:13:50,446 She was very upset. 1267 01:13:53,120 --> 01:13:56,090 What vision do you have for yourself, Troy? 1268 01:13:56,200 --> 01:13:57,580 Get my degree... 1269 01:13:57,680 --> 01:13:58,860 then law school, then... 1270 01:13:58,960 --> 01:14:00,260 And what has that got to do... 1271 01:14:00,360 --> 01:14:01,740 with partying with Kurt... 1272 01:14:01,840 --> 01:14:04,140 smoking weed, and writing jokes? 1273 01:14:04,240 --> 01:14:05,500 So okay, what is it? 1274 01:14:05,600 --> 01:14:08,500 The spotlight that Kurt gets? 1275 01:14:08,600 --> 01:14:10,220 You want to see yourself on TV? 1276 01:14:10,320 --> 01:14:12,780 You know how many black men waste their lives... 1277 01:14:12,880 --> 01:14:15,420 trying to be on TV, be rappers or ballplayers? 1278 01:14:15,520 --> 01:14:18,460 Dad, no. I want what we always talk about. 1279 01:14:18,560 --> 01:14:20,483 Maybe have my own firm someday... 1280 01:14:20,600 --> 01:14:21,700 run for office. 1281 01:14:21,800 --> 01:14:23,900 Make a difference. 1282 01:14:24,000 --> 01:14:26,321 What about the drugs? 1283 01:14:26,440 --> 01:14:28,660 I have been in academia a long time. 1284 01:14:28,760 --> 01:14:30,285 I've seen a lot of things. 1285 01:14:32,080 --> 01:14:34,220 And the men who really run this world... 1286 01:14:34,320 --> 01:14:36,180 oh... 1287 01:14:36,280 --> 01:14:40,001 you've got no idea what they see when they see you. 1288 01:14:40,120 --> 01:14:43,620 You are not going to be what they all think you are. 1289 01:14:43,720 --> 01:14:46,849 You are not going to give them that satisfaction. 1290 01:14:46,960 --> 01:14:50,100 Do you hear me? 1291 01:14:50,200 --> 01:14:51,326 Yes, sir. 1292 01:14:55,640 --> 01:14:57,404 Get out of my sight. 1293 01:15:18,440 --> 01:15:19,940 President's office. 1294 01:15:20,040 --> 01:15:21,565 I'll be right there. 1295 01:15:35,160 --> 01:15:36,460 I know about the party. 1296 01:15:36,560 --> 01:15:38,060 What party? 1297 01:15:38,160 --> 01:15:40,020 Yeah, cute. 1298 01:15:40,120 --> 01:15:42,380 Let me tell you something. You picked a hell of a time. 1299 01:15:42,480 --> 01:15:44,860 - It's the Halloween party. - I want you to listen to something. 1300 01:15:44,960 --> 01:15:47,100 It's canceled, Kurt. End of story. 1301 01:15:47,200 --> 01:15:49,202 I can't cancel. There's like 100 people coming. 1302 01:15:50,440 --> 01:15:51,726 Hey. 1303 01:15:56,600 --> 01:15:59,020 Lionel's story on the would be protest... 1304 01:15:59,120 --> 01:16:01,140 outside Gillespie is running tomorrow. 1305 01:16:01,240 --> 01:16:03,380 Yeah, and I've also got Lionel working on a profile piece... 1306 01:16:03,480 --> 01:16:05,420 of Armstrong-Parker, like you suggested. 1307 01:16:05,520 --> 01:16:07,409 Really break down what's going on. 1308 01:16:09,160 --> 01:16:10,700 Right? 1309 01:16:10,800 --> 01:16:13,020 It's almost like they... 1310 01:16:13,120 --> 01:16:15,020 recycle so much from their past. 1311 01:16:15,120 --> 01:16:17,580 Music, food, fashion... 1312 01:16:17,680 --> 01:16:21,060 and now turbulence. 1313 01:16:21,160 --> 01:16:23,020 Thank you so much. 1314 01:16:23,120 --> 01:16:25,260 Take care. 1315 01:16:25,360 --> 01:16:27,980 - Well? - That was our Times advisor. 1316 01:16:28,080 --> 01:16:29,580 He said it's stories like these... 1317 01:16:29,680 --> 01:16:31,921 that get editors letters of recommendation. 1318 01:16:34,880 --> 01:16:36,660 Negro at the door didn't scare you this time? 1319 01:16:36,760 --> 01:16:38,020 Lionel, please. 1320 01:16:38,120 --> 01:16:39,940 You're only technically black. 1321 01:16:40,040 --> 01:16:43,044 G? Going to French. 1322 01:16:43,160 --> 01:16:46,607 - Should I save you a seat? - Yeah, thanks. 1323 01:16:48,640 --> 01:16:50,700 You need something? I saw your email. 1324 01:16:50,800 --> 01:16:52,140 Oh, yeah. 1325 01:16:52,240 --> 01:16:56,100 I need someone to do the donors event on Saturday. 1326 01:16:56,200 --> 01:16:58,020 A small dinner for the school's big givers. 1327 01:16:58,120 --> 01:16:59,980 That's Halloween night. 1328 01:17:00,080 --> 01:17:03,140 Right, which is why no one else will take it. 1329 01:17:03,240 --> 01:17:05,820 Ah, thus the new guy. 1330 01:17:05,920 --> 01:17:07,660 I'm going to class, but... 1331 01:17:07,760 --> 01:17:10,020 you can stay and check out last year's piece if you want. 1332 01:17:10,120 --> 01:17:12,460 - You'll do fine. - I don't know. 1333 01:17:12,560 --> 01:17:15,140 Is there going to be any racially fueled outbursts at this thing? 1334 01:17:15,240 --> 01:17:16,526 You never know, right? 1335 01:17:20,400 --> 01:17:24,689 Hey, am I a good writer? 1336 01:17:27,200 --> 01:17:28,900 You'll get better. 1337 01:17:29,000 --> 01:17:30,365 And we need you right now. 1338 01:17:31,680 --> 01:17:34,660 Please, you're just one big recommendation... 1339 01:17:34,760 --> 01:17:35,940 away from the Times. 1340 01:17:36,040 --> 01:17:37,485 Hey... 1341 01:17:53,920 --> 01:17:57,940 There's a big party after the donors event. 1342 01:17:58,040 --> 01:18:01,340 Call me after. Maybe we can hang? 1343 01:18:01,440 --> 01:18:03,522 Yeah, yeah, sounds good. 1344 01:18:20,280 --> 01:18:22,220 Dear white people... 1345 01:18:22,320 --> 01:18:24,420 Are you tired of your humdrum Wonder Bread existence... 1346 01:18:24,520 --> 01:18:27,260 of accidental racism, and wishing you could sip... 1347 01:18:27,360 --> 01:18:29,300 on henny out your crunk cup... 1348 01:18:29,400 --> 01:18:31,300 without a bitch giving you the side eye? 1349 01:18:31,400 --> 01:18:33,540 Of course you are. 1350 01:18:33,640 --> 01:18:36,540 For all those looking to unleash their inner negro... 1351 01:18:36,640 --> 01:18:38,900 from years of bondage and oppression... 1352 01:18:39,000 --> 01:18:41,100 Pastiche proudly presents... 1353 01:18:41,200 --> 01:18:42,700 Dear White People... 1354 01:18:42,800 --> 01:18:45,740 our 89th annual Hallows Eve costume party... 1355 01:18:45,840 --> 01:18:47,300 tonight at 10 Pacific time... 1356 01:18:47,400 --> 01:18:50,180 or five colored people time. 1357 01:18:50,280 --> 01:18:53,100 Dudes must rock Fubu, Ecko... 1358 01:18:53,200 --> 01:18:55,180 Rocawear, or Sean John. 1359 01:18:55,280 --> 01:18:57,540 XXXL is the smallest sized T-shirt... 1360 01:18:57,640 --> 01:18:58,580 you can wear... 1361 01:18:58,680 --> 01:19:01,020 preferably with a collage of Barack Obama... 1362 01:19:01,120 --> 01:19:02,300 and Tupac on it. 1363 01:19:02,400 --> 01:19:06,020 Ladies, we need to see huge hoop earrings... 1364 01:19:06,120 --> 01:19:08,780 long nails, and cheap, tight clothes. 1365 01:19:08,880 --> 01:19:11,300 Proper hood rat starts fights, speaks loudly... 1366 01:19:11,400 --> 01:19:13,820 and when she can't think of the words she's trying to say... 1367 01:19:13,920 --> 01:19:17,180 just makes one up, such as "edjmucated." 1368 01:19:17,280 --> 01:19:19,940 Now feel free to fry on up some chicken... 1369 01:19:20,040 --> 01:19:21,860 bring some Kool-Aid, watermelon... 1370 01:19:21,960 --> 01:19:24,820 forties, and of course, that purple drank. 1371 01:19:24,920 --> 01:19:27,300 Naturally, there will be a freestyle rap competition... 1372 01:19:27,400 --> 01:19:32,140 so bring it and join us for the party of the year. 1373 01:19:32,240 --> 01:19:34,140 Oh, and uh... 1374 01:19:34,240 --> 01:19:37,100 Nigga, nigga, nigga, nigga nigga, nigga. 1375 01:19:37,200 --> 01:19:39,043 Boy, that felt good. 1376 01:20:08,280 --> 01:20:09,884 Funny seeing you here. 1377 01:20:13,040 --> 01:20:15,805 Pops likes to show me off at all these donor functions. 1378 01:20:20,080 --> 01:20:21,525 So... 1379 01:20:23,160 --> 01:20:24,260 Picard or Kirk? 1380 01:20:24,360 --> 01:20:25,580 Kirk. Wait. 1381 01:20:25,680 --> 01:20:26,681 - I didn't say... - Yo. 1382 01:20:26,800 --> 01:20:29,260 What happens at the crib stays at the crib. 1383 01:20:29,360 --> 01:20:31,300 I'm not trying to get my card revoked. 1384 01:20:31,400 --> 01:20:33,260 Someone could say that a show that had... 1385 01:20:33,360 --> 01:20:37,540 Whoopi Goldberg, Michael Dorn, and Kunta Kinte himself... 1386 01:20:37,640 --> 01:20:39,260 was a pretty black show. 1387 01:20:39,360 --> 01:20:43,140 - That work out for you? - No, no, it did not. 1388 01:20:43,240 --> 01:20:44,924 At least not in high school. 1389 01:20:46,760 --> 01:20:49,380 Bet there's, like, a statue of you in your high school. 1390 01:20:49,480 --> 01:20:51,980 I was beloved. 1391 01:20:52,080 --> 01:20:54,651 They know you were a Trekker? 1392 01:20:59,080 --> 01:21:01,686 So what, you growing that out? 1393 01:21:03,360 --> 01:21:05,044 I think it's gaining sentience. 1394 01:21:06,640 --> 01:21:08,180 Yeah, it's out there. 1395 01:21:08,280 --> 01:21:10,780 Yeah, it's like a black hole for white people's fingers. 1396 01:21:10,880 --> 01:21:14,100 They're... obsessed. 1397 01:21:14,200 --> 01:21:16,900 I mean, you know I cut hair, though. 1398 01:21:17,000 --> 01:21:18,445 So why don't you just ask me? 1399 01:21:20,080 --> 01:21:23,460 I don't know. You're... you. 1400 01:21:23,560 --> 01:21:26,140 Ly, you ready, man? 1401 01:21:26,240 --> 01:21:28,620 Yeah. No costumes? 1402 01:21:28,720 --> 01:21:30,580 I got a suit for this. 1403 01:21:30,680 --> 01:21:32,020 We just got out of the staffroom. 1404 01:21:32,120 --> 01:21:34,020 Yeah, we're going as overworked. 1405 01:21:34,120 --> 01:21:37,602 - Where is it? - Garmin House, on Third, I think. 1406 01:21:38,680 --> 01:21:40,250 Third and Basin. 1407 01:21:42,080 --> 01:21:43,002 I know it. 1408 01:21:45,720 --> 01:21:47,404 Yo, man. 1409 01:21:48,600 --> 01:21:51,540 If I'd have gone to your high school... 1410 01:21:51,640 --> 01:21:52,801 I'd have had your back. 1411 01:22:49,080 --> 01:22:51,340 This is kind of fucked up, right? 1412 01:22:51,440 --> 01:22:54,420 Pastiche, the world's most erudite boneheads. 1413 01:22:54,520 --> 01:22:55,760 I need another drink. 1414 01:23:00,960 --> 01:23:02,166 Hey. 1415 01:23:12,360 --> 01:23:13,930 Sorry. 1416 01:23:15,920 --> 01:23:18,060 It's all right. I just can't wait to cut all of this off. 1417 01:23:18,160 --> 01:23:19,082 Don't you dare. 1418 01:23:24,840 --> 01:23:26,524 I could eat you like a Hershey's. 1419 01:23:30,760 --> 01:23:33,969 I'll... I'll be right back. 1420 01:23:35,360 --> 01:23:36,566 Okay. 1421 01:24:02,920 --> 01:24:04,046 Sam. 1422 01:24:05,480 --> 01:24:06,780 I hope to run for office someday. 1423 01:24:06,880 --> 01:24:08,460 Make a difference, you know? 1424 01:24:08,560 --> 01:24:10,369 If you guys will excuse me for one moment. 1425 01:24:10,480 --> 01:24:11,900 I promise I'll be right back. 1426 01:24:12,000 --> 01:24:13,161 Hold that thought. 1427 01:24:26,880 --> 01:24:28,220 So what do you want me to do? 1428 01:24:28,320 --> 01:24:29,540 Go over and yell at them? 1429 01:24:29,640 --> 01:24:31,051 Have you heard you yelling? 1430 01:24:33,280 --> 01:24:35,860 For the first time in my life, I can't just sit around... 1431 01:24:35,960 --> 01:24:37,220 and do nothing. 1432 01:24:37,320 --> 01:24:39,860 So... how can you? 1433 01:24:39,960 --> 01:24:42,247 I'm done being everybody's angry black chick. 1434 01:25:17,280 --> 01:25:18,725 Hey, muffins. 1435 01:25:18,840 --> 01:25:21,300 So how do I look? 1436 01:25:21,400 --> 01:25:22,780 Tell me... 1437 01:25:22,880 --> 01:25:25,486 why are white folks so obsessed with being black? 1438 01:25:27,880 --> 01:25:32,300 Hell, why are black folks addicted to blonde Barbie doll weaves? 1439 01:25:32,400 --> 01:25:35,483 The strange symbiosis that we're here to investigate. 1440 01:25:50,280 --> 01:25:52,220 Hi. 1441 01:25:52,320 --> 01:25:54,500 How's it going? 1442 01:25:54,600 --> 01:25:55,660 All right. 1443 01:25:55,760 --> 01:25:57,020 This is- 1444 01:25:57,120 --> 01:25:59,140 - Black Student Union. - Black Student Union, yeah. 1445 01:25:59,240 --> 01:26:01,940 - Yeah. - 'Cause it's 7:30. 1446 01:26:02,040 --> 01:26:04,940 It's your call, man. 1447 01:26:05,040 --> 01:26:07,900 All right, all right... 1448 01:26:08,000 --> 01:26:10,660 All right, y'all. Thanks for coming out. 1449 01:26:10,760 --> 01:26:14,300 Tonight, looks like Sam is not going to make it... 1450 01:26:14,400 --> 01:26:16,687 so let's call it. 1451 01:26:27,280 --> 01:26:28,900 Um, hi. 1452 01:26:29,000 --> 01:26:32,340 I'm Lionel. 1453 01:26:32,440 --> 01:26:35,500 I know some of you. 1454 01:26:35,600 --> 01:26:36,980 None of you know me. 1455 01:26:37,080 --> 01:26:39,765 I've never been to a meeting. I plan on coming. 1456 01:26:45,960 --> 01:26:47,660 I just came from this party... 1457 01:26:47,760 --> 01:26:49,649 and I feel like you guys should know about it. 1458 01:26:59,960 --> 01:27:01,540 Hey, Kurt. What's up, man? 1459 01:27:01,640 --> 01:27:03,100 - How you doing? - What the fuck is going on? 1460 01:27:03,200 --> 01:27:04,725 All these people just showed up, man. 1461 01:27:10,120 --> 01:27:11,700 Wait, who am I? 1462 01:27:11,800 --> 01:27:16,380 "Bitch, it's weave, noun, present tense, how." 1463 01:27:16,480 --> 01:27:18,130 Okay, point taken. 1464 01:27:25,960 --> 01:27:29,220 - Hey, man, you want a drink? - Shut up. 1465 01:27:29,320 --> 01:27:33,940 - Yeah. - Kurt, it's me. 1466 01:27:34,040 --> 01:27:34,940 I can't do this. 1467 01:27:35,040 --> 01:27:37,700 Okay, I'm fucking confused. 1468 01:27:37,800 --> 01:27:40,900 - Dad. - Not now, Troy. 1469 01:27:41,000 --> 01:27:42,340 But Dad, it's important. 1470 01:27:42,440 --> 01:27:44,204 I heard there's something happening on campus... 1471 01:27:44,320 --> 01:27:46,100 and I might have been a part of setting it off. 1472 01:27:46,200 --> 01:27:48,009 Son, you're being rude. 1473 01:27:49,560 --> 01:27:50,820 Oh, am I? 1474 01:27:50,920 --> 01:27:53,002 Well, how about I tell all your precious donors... 1475 01:27:53,120 --> 01:27:54,220 and anybody who will listen 1476 01:27:54,320 --> 01:27:56,060 what kind of school it is they're giving to! 1477 01:27:56,160 --> 01:27:57,740 What is wrong with you? 1478 01:27:57,840 --> 01:27:59,180 How dare you? 1479 01:27:59,280 --> 01:28:01,380 You can't come over here and talk to your father... 1480 01:28:01,480 --> 01:28:03,100 All I say is "Yes, sir" and "No, sir." 1481 01:28:03,200 --> 01:28:05,140 Now look, I should have brought this to you earlier... 1482 01:28:05,240 --> 01:28:06,540 but I didn't know what to do. 1483 01:28:06,640 --> 01:28:08,802 - Okay, let's wait. - Listen to me! 1484 01:28:10,360 --> 01:28:11,521 Done right, brother. 1485 01:28:11,640 --> 01:28:14,220 What's the plan? 1486 01:28:14,320 --> 01:28:16,220 We go over there. 1487 01:28:16,320 --> 01:28:17,860 Now. 1488 01:28:17,960 --> 01:28:19,700 Think there's enough of us? 1489 01:28:19,800 --> 01:28:22,020 Latinos United is meeting across the hall. 1490 01:28:22,120 --> 01:28:23,565 Asian-American League, too. 1491 01:28:25,880 --> 01:28:28,008 You guys got better snacks. 1492 01:28:48,800 --> 01:28:50,140 Wait, what? 1493 01:28:50,240 --> 01:28:52,780 Yeah, dude, we all got it. 1494 01:28:52,880 --> 01:28:54,928 I mean, everything is cool, right? 1495 01:29:03,320 --> 01:29:04,780 Take that shit off! 1496 01:29:04,880 --> 01:29:07,167 Take that fucking shit off. 1497 01:29:10,640 --> 01:29:13,540 Wait, what the fuck are you doing, man? 1498 01:29:13,640 --> 01:29:15,820 Jesus! 1499 01:29:15,920 --> 01:29:17,900 We're putting an end to this, Kurt. 1500 01:29:18,000 --> 01:29:20,460 You know what? Everybody get the fuck out of my house. 1501 01:29:20,560 --> 01:29:22,767 Okay? I'm calling the cops. 1502 01:29:50,520 --> 01:29:52,170 Let's make it do what it do! 1503 01:29:54,320 --> 01:29:56,780 One, two, one, two, three. 1504 01:29:56,880 --> 01:29:59,300 Yo, give me your wife before I slap ya. 1505 01:29:59,400 --> 01:30:00,970 I've been looking for some dames... 1506 01:30:01,080 --> 01:30:02,740 but there's not another chapter. 1507 01:30:02,840 --> 01:30:04,980 You can do me slow, you can do me fast. 1508 01:30:05,080 --> 01:30:07,580 You can add it to my league. I'm the royalty to ask for. 1509 01:30:07,680 --> 01:30:10,570 One, two, wa-wa-wa-one. 1510 01:30:12,320 --> 01:30:13,980 I say hey! 1511 01:30:14,080 --> 01:30:15,380 Hey! 1512 01:30:15,480 --> 01:30:17,562 - Ho! - Ho! 1513 01:30:17,680 --> 01:30:19,060 My name is Lionel. 1514 01:30:19,160 --> 01:30:20,340 Some call me Ly. 1515 01:30:20,440 --> 01:30:22,700 Most people think I kind of talk quiet. 1516 01:30:22,800 --> 01:30:25,140 But that's all right, that's all cool. 1517 01:30:25,240 --> 01:30:28,084 I'd rather be white than tap dance with you. 1518 01:30:46,080 --> 01:30:47,660 Get the fuck out of my house. 1519 01:30:47,760 --> 01:30:49,569 - What you doing? - Get the fuck out of here! 1520 01:31:15,040 --> 01:31:16,326 What? 1521 01:31:17,400 --> 01:31:18,780 Say it. 1522 01:31:18,880 --> 01:31:19,927 Come on. 1523 01:31:21,640 --> 01:31:24,260 You know, this may come as a shock to you... 1524 01:31:24,360 --> 01:31:27,842 but these people don't give a fuck about no Harriet motherfucking Tubman. 1525 01:31:27,960 --> 01:31:29,700 They pay millions of dollars... 1526 01:31:29,800 --> 01:31:31,660 on their lips, their tans... 1527 01:31:31,760 --> 01:31:34,180 their asses, Jay-Z tickets... 1528 01:31:34,280 --> 01:31:36,260 because they want to be like us. 1529 01:31:36,360 --> 01:31:39,460 And they got to be for a night. 1530 01:31:39,560 --> 01:31:41,300 I'm not about to go out into the streets... 1531 01:31:41,400 --> 01:31:44,210 and protest a fucking Halloween party. 1532 01:32:01,360 --> 01:32:02,860 He can't help it. 1533 01:32:02,960 --> 01:32:05,850 But why do you have to be such a fag? 1534 01:32:32,680 --> 01:32:34,921 Looks like you got me right where you want me, huh? 1535 01:34:02,000 --> 01:34:03,729 Hey... 1536 01:34:06,760 --> 01:34:10,003 I didn't do this, Sam. I didn't do this. 1537 01:34:10,120 --> 01:34:12,380 Outrage over an African-American themed party... 1538 01:34:12,480 --> 01:34:14,740 has resulted in rioting and property damages. 1539 01:34:14,840 --> 01:34:17,764 Naturally, a dozen colored folks crashing a party... 1540 01:34:17,880 --> 01:34:20,020 was dubbed a riot, but nevertheless... 1541 01:34:20,120 --> 01:34:21,620 the story made national news. 1542 01:34:21,720 --> 01:34:23,340 I'm sorry. 1543 01:34:23,440 --> 01:34:26,060 We don't condone this egregious event, believe me. 1544 01:34:26,160 --> 01:34:28,300 Dean Fairbanks and I are looking into different ways... 1545 01:34:28,400 --> 01:34:30,482 to address issues of diversity... 1546 01:34:30,600 --> 01:34:34,260 - Housing reform! - Yeah! 1547 01:34:34,360 --> 01:34:36,140 Housing reform. 1548 01:34:36,240 --> 01:34:37,940 I mean, the fact that we can joke about this... 1549 01:34:38,040 --> 01:34:39,740 proves we moved on, obviously, right? 1550 01:34:39,840 --> 01:34:42,100 I mean, in this day and age, if you can't take a joke... 1551 01:34:42,200 --> 01:34:45,940 Shit, I'm just saying this is an attack on my freedom of speech. 1552 01:34:46,040 --> 01:34:47,140 I'm the victim here! 1553 01:34:47,240 --> 01:34:49,460 The campus was divided. 1554 01:34:49,560 --> 01:34:52,580 Was the party an act of free speech, or was it racism? 1555 01:34:52,680 --> 01:34:55,540 I mean, this is only a debate because of who Kurt's dad is... 1556 01:34:55,640 --> 01:34:58,140 which just proves the point. 1557 01:34:58,240 --> 01:35:00,940 I mean, all you did was have a radio show and look what happened to you. 1558 01:35:01,040 --> 01:35:04,380 This may come as a shock to you but these people don't give a fuck... 1559 01:35:04,480 --> 01:35:07,180 about no Harriet motherfucking Tubman. 1560 01:35:07,280 --> 01:35:09,340 They want to be like us. 1561 01:35:09,440 --> 01:35:11,300 And they got to be for a night. 1562 01:35:11,400 --> 01:35:12,980 Of course I got my dad involved. 1563 01:35:13,080 --> 01:35:14,940 It was the right thing to do. 1564 01:35:15,040 --> 01:35:17,780 And now all of these posters just started showing up. 1565 01:35:17,880 --> 01:35:19,820 I mean, why settle for head of house... 1566 01:35:19,920 --> 01:35:22,340 when there's a need for me as president, you know? 1567 01:35:22,440 --> 01:35:24,204 Dear white people... 1568 01:35:29,640 --> 01:35:31,005 You know what? 1569 01:35:33,520 --> 01:35:35,170 Never mind. 1570 01:36:00,560 --> 01:36:02,289 When I heard what the group was planning... 1571 01:36:02,400 --> 01:36:04,380 I emailed my staff and I told them to quit. 1572 01:36:04,480 --> 01:36:06,540 That is a copy of the email in front of you. 1573 01:36:06,640 --> 01:36:07,641 And who's this? 1574 01:36:10,040 --> 01:36:10,962 My lawyer. 1575 01:36:12,120 --> 01:36:15,920 So when I got the invite and saw everyone clicking yes... 1576 01:36:16,040 --> 01:36:17,500 I figured it was back on. 1577 01:36:17,600 --> 01:36:20,220 - We know you were planning this. - Your son tell you that? 1578 01:36:20,320 --> 01:36:22,660 "Wishing you could sip on henny out your crunk cup... 1579 01:36:22,760 --> 01:36:24,728 "without a bitch giving you the side eye." 1580 01:36:24,840 --> 01:36:26,580 You write this, Troy? 1581 01:36:26,680 --> 01:36:28,780 No. 1582 01:36:28,880 --> 01:36:30,940 - Mine wasn't chosen. - But you wanted to be. 1583 01:36:31,040 --> 01:36:33,520 What I wanted didn't matter then, so why should it matter now? 1584 01:36:33,640 --> 01:36:35,940 I'm the one who got you to send the police, remember? 1585 01:36:36,040 --> 01:36:39,140 The invite came from the Pastiche Facebook account. 1586 01:36:39,240 --> 01:36:41,220 I canceled the party! 1587 01:36:41,320 --> 01:36:43,780 You got to believe me. 1588 01:36:43,880 --> 01:36:46,360 What were your intentions when you went back the second time? 1589 01:36:46,920 --> 01:36:48,160 To stop it. 1590 01:36:48,280 --> 01:36:49,850 By any means necessary? 1591 01:36:51,440 --> 01:36:52,900 Someone once told me that... 1592 01:36:53,000 --> 01:36:55,260 Winchester was like jazz. 1593 01:36:55,360 --> 01:36:56,740 Now I don't know much about jazz... 1594 01:36:56,840 --> 01:36:58,700 but from what I can tell... 1595 01:36:58,800 --> 01:37:01,849 when your solo is up... 1596 01:37:01,960 --> 01:37:04,008 you better blow. 1597 01:37:04,960 --> 01:37:06,580 You want to hear something strange? 1598 01:37:06,680 --> 01:37:09,020 The Pastiche group page hadn't been used for months... 1599 01:37:09,120 --> 01:37:10,380 until the invite went out. 1600 01:37:10,480 --> 01:37:11,641 Why am I even here? 1601 01:37:11,760 --> 01:37:13,460 What's interesting is how easy it was... 1602 01:37:13,560 --> 01:37:15,380 to access the group page. 1603 01:37:15,480 --> 01:37:18,980 The password was "pa$tiche" spelled with a dollar sign... 1604 01:37:19,080 --> 01:37:20,411 according to Kurt... 1605 01:37:20,520 --> 01:37:22,980 but it seems it's recently been changed. 1606 01:37:23,080 --> 01:37:25,060 I couldn't figure it out at first. 1607 01:37:25,160 --> 01:37:27,020 Then I thought to try something. 1608 01:37:27,120 --> 01:37:33,127 578-35-26-196. 1609 01:37:33,240 --> 01:37:35,820 Eleven numbers. 1610 01:37:35,920 --> 01:37:37,684 Just like our student I.D. numbers. 1611 01:37:40,520 --> 01:37:43,763 Just like your student I.D. number. 1612 01:37:46,480 --> 01:37:48,820 As much as you hate him, you will stop at nothing... 1613 01:37:48,920 --> 01:37:51,380 to protect your master and his boy. 1614 01:37:51,480 --> 01:37:53,847 Did you send out the invite, Sam? 1615 01:37:57,240 --> 01:38:00,340 It wasn't speeches that turned the tide for civil rights. 1616 01:38:00,440 --> 01:38:03,100 It was the anarchists willing to provoke the police... 1617 01:38:03,200 --> 01:38:04,326 get sprayed by hoses... 1618 01:38:04,440 --> 01:38:06,860 anything to cause a scene and make press. 1619 01:38:06,960 --> 01:38:09,780 That invite, whoever sent it... 1620 01:38:09,880 --> 01:38:12,020 should have been met with derision and outrage. 1621 01:38:12,120 --> 01:38:14,300 Instead, 100 people, your students... 1622 01:38:14,400 --> 01:38:16,460 showed up, and they pulled out posters... 1623 01:38:16,560 --> 01:38:18,050 and decorations and costumes... 1624 01:38:18,160 --> 01:38:19,620 that they had made for such an event... 1625 01:38:19,720 --> 01:38:21,060 and they showed our school... 1626 01:38:21,160 --> 01:38:23,401 exactly where it's at. 1627 01:39:06,640 --> 01:39:08,802 Well, you've made some new friends. 1628 01:39:09,800 --> 01:39:11,564 I guess you could call them that. 1629 01:39:13,440 --> 01:39:15,602 - So... - No, not right now. 1630 01:39:15,720 --> 01:39:16,721 Not here. 1631 01:39:21,360 --> 01:39:23,806 - Fine. - Oh, come on, Coco. 1632 01:39:24,840 --> 01:39:26,580 Fuck you, Troy. 1633 01:39:26,680 --> 01:39:28,364 Look, my dad saw your videos... 1634 01:39:28,480 --> 01:39:29,860 and he's just a little worried... 1635 01:39:29,960 --> 01:39:32,060 How it will look? 1636 01:39:32,160 --> 01:39:33,889 With your campaign and all? 1637 01:39:40,920 --> 01:39:43,321 What's your best friend Reggie think? 1638 01:39:46,360 --> 01:39:50,660 Hey... we had fun. 1639 01:39:50,760 --> 01:39:52,569 All right? 1640 01:39:58,320 --> 01:40:02,780 You know, I get that everybody else wants you to win, Troy. 1641 01:40:02,880 --> 01:40:04,245 But do you? 1642 01:40:23,160 --> 01:40:24,844 Hello, Sam. 1643 01:40:27,200 --> 01:40:29,500 I read about Armstrong-Parker. 1644 01:40:29,600 --> 01:40:32,180 Yeah, Pres. made an executive withdrawal... 1645 01:40:32,280 --> 01:40:34,580 so Armstrong stays black. 1646 01:40:34,680 --> 01:40:36,728 Congrats. 1647 01:40:36,840 --> 01:40:39,540 I don't know. It's getting a little too dramatic, man. 1648 01:40:39,640 --> 01:40:43,700 I'm thinking about getting an apartment off campus. 1649 01:40:43,800 --> 01:40:45,484 So we'll see. 1650 01:40:45,600 --> 01:40:48,500 Sam White going against the grain? Shocking. 1651 01:40:48,600 --> 01:40:52,020 How's Papa White? 1652 01:40:52,120 --> 01:40:53,884 - Recovering. - Good. 1653 01:40:58,520 --> 01:40:59,169 Well... 1654 01:40:59,280 --> 01:41:02,220 We were actually on the phone last night... 1655 01:41:02,320 --> 01:41:04,004 for hours. 1656 01:41:04,120 --> 01:41:07,580 It was the first time we talked since the bypass. 1657 01:41:07,680 --> 01:41:10,100 And he was putting up a strong front... 1658 01:41:10,200 --> 01:41:12,300 teasing me about being so worried. 1659 01:41:12,400 --> 01:41:15,722 And then came the stories about me as a little girl... 1660 01:41:15,840 --> 01:41:18,060 that I'd heard 1,000 times. 1661 01:41:18,160 --> 01:41:21,926 About how... 1662 01:41:24,360 --> 01:41:27,045 independent I was. 1663 01:41:29,400 --> 01:41:30,731 Want to talk about it? 1664 01:41:33,720 --> 01:41:35,324 My mom worked nights... 1665 01:41:35,440 --> 01:41:40,860 so he'd always take me to school, and... 1666 01:41:40,960 --> 01:41:42,700 it used to piss me off... 1667 01:41:42,800 --> 01:41:45,860 because he'd follow me all the way to homeroom. 1668 01:41:45,960 --> 01:41:47,500 And whenever he'd try to hold my hand... 1669 01:41:47,600 --> 01:41:51,660 I'd scream and... pull it away. 1670 01:41:51,760 --> 01:41:55,100 The students and the parents... 1671 01:41:55,200 --> 01:41:57,940 they'd see this white man... 1672 01:41:58,040 --> 01:42:00,820 and this black girl... 1673 01:42:00,920 --> 01:42:02,980 and they'd wonder what we were doing together. 1674 01:42:03,080 --> 01:42:07,420 Even at nine, I could feel their eyes on me. 1675 01:42:07,520 --> 01:42:09,443 And I was just a bratty girl. 1676 01:42:09,560 --> 01:42:13,167 I didn't know any better, but the thought of losing him... 1677 01:42:14,680 --> 01:42:16,780 You know? 1678 01:42:16,880 --> 01:42:19,500 I, um... 1679 01:42:19,600 --> 01:42:22,968 I just feel so bad. 1680 01:42:26,760 --> 01:42:31,220 How awful am I to do that to... 1681 01:42:31,320 --> 01:42:35,120 him, or to anyone... 1682 01:42:36,520 --> 01:42:38,170 that I... 1683 01:42:40,240 --> 01:42:42,004 love. 1684 01:42:47,480 --> 01:42:50,006 I'm sure he forgives you. 1685 01:42:52,080 --> 01:42:53,445 You think so? 1686 01:42:59,640 --> 01:43:03,300 So anyway, I don't know... 1687 01:43:03,400 --> 01:43:06,006 why I said all that. 1688 01:43:07,920 --> 01:43:09,570 Sam, where are you going? 1689 01:43:13,200 --> 01:43:14,725 I don't know. 1690 01:43:16,680 --> 01:43:18,808 Lunch. 1691 01:43:18,920 --> 01:43:21,366 Isn't it Mac N' Cheese day at Armstrong-Parker? 1692 01:43:24,760 --> 01:43:26,524 You think they'll let you in? 1693 01:43:52,880 --> 01:43:54,220 Let me get this straight. 1694 01:43:54,320 --> 01:43:55,924 First you try to break up the black house. 1695 01:43:56,040 --> 01:43:58,740 Then you take down the sister with the little radio show. 1696 01:43:58,840 --> 01:44:00,420 Then after all of that... 1697 01:44:00,520 --> 01:44:02,900 - your son throws a blackface party. - Now wait a minute. 1698 01:44:03,000 --> 01:44:05,340 Now if you thought you were having trouble finding money before... 1699 01:44:05,440 --> 01:44:07,740 just wait until cable news gets their hands on this story. 1700 01:44:07,840 --> 01:44:09,980 I mean, Bill Maher is going to fuck you up. 1701 01:44:10,080 --> 01:44:12,780 You know, I've heard enough. I'm sorry. 1702 01:44:12,880 --> 01:44:16,020 Look, the point is from where I'm sitting... 1703 01:44:16,120 --> 01:44:17,900 - this place is a gold mine. - What? 1704 01:44:18,000 --> 01:44:20,700 Well, we still need the stuff that leads up to the party. 1705 01:44:20,800 --> 01:44:21,780 That happened already. 1706 01:44:21,880 --> 01:44:23,180 Well yeah, we can re-enact it. 1707 01:44:23,280 --> 01:44:24,100 Re-enact. 1708 01:44:24,200 --> 01:44:25,900 It's a documentary term. I... 1709 01:44:26,000 --> 01:44:28,980 The point is, I could be putting together an overall deal today. 1710 01:44:29,080 --> 01:44:32,050 I am talking real money. 1711 01:44:32,160 --> 01:44:34,540 Turns out the only thing Americans love in their reality TV... 1712 01:44:34,640 --> 01:44:37,340 more than ignorant black kids is crazy racist white folks. 1713 01:44:37,440 --> 01:44:38,820 Now look here. 1714 01:44:38,920 --> 01:44:41,260 This is an honorable institution. 1715 01:44:41,360 --> 01:44:44,330 The idea that we would so much as entertain... 1716 01:44:46,160 --> 01:44:47,446 How much we talking? 1716 01:44:48,305 --> 01:44:54,868 Support us and become VIP member to remove all ads from OpenSubtitles.org