1
00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:12,074
Advertise your product or brand here
contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today

2
00:00:41,793 --> 00:00:54,493
Subtitling: fewat.com

3
00:01:01,494 --> 00:01:05,164
(Narrator reading)

4
00:01:05,166 --> 00:01:06,799
(School bell ringing)

5
00:01:06,801 --> 00:01:08,000
You're a fucking nerd.

6
00:01:08,002 --> 00:01:10,102
Boy, you lucky
you even graduating.

7
00:01:10,104 --> 00:01:11,603
Schmidt: Fuck!
All: Oh!

8
00:01:11,605 --> 00:01:13,505
You're good at this, huh?
Yeah.

9
00:01:13,507 --> 00:01:15,441
You're really good
at this.
Yeah.

10
00:01:15,443 --> 00:01:16,241
Hey, you want to
be friends?

11
00:01:19,212 --> 00:01:20,079
Yours isn't
loaded, right?

12
00:01:21,081 --> 00:01:22,247
(Both gagging)

13
00:01:22,249 --> 00:01:23,749
Just touch it.
I'm scared.

14
00:01:24,584 --> 00:01:26,018
Just touch it.

15
00:01:26,020 --> 00:01:26,752
Seriously. All right,
all right, all right.

16
00:01:29,089 --> 00:01:30,789
You took a bullet for me, man.

17
00:01:30,791 --> 00:01:31,657
You shot me
in the dick!

18
00:01:33,793 --> 00:01:35,227
Boom, motherfuckers!

19
00:01:35,229 --> 00:01:37,463
You two sons of bitches
are going to college!

20
00:01:42,769 --> 00:01:47,272
Yin is characterized
as slow, soft, passive

21
00:01:47,274 --> 00:01:49,942
and is associated with
water and femininity.

22
00:01:49,944 --> 00:01:54,346
<i> While, Yang, by contrast,</i>
<i> is fast and solid and...</i>

23
00:01:54,348 --> 00:01:56,582
Man, this is bs.

24
00:01:56,584 --> 00:01:59,518
I thought we were going
to actual college,
not online college.

25
00:01:59,520 --> 00:02:01,753
Listening for
coded messages
in lectures.

26
00:02:01,755 --> 00:02:02,754
(Scoffs) What are
you talking about?

27
00:02:02,756 --> 00:02:03,655
Look around.

28
00:02:04,190 --> 00:02:05,824
This is our city.

29
00:02:05,826 --> 00:02:06,959
What do we want to
be in college for?

30
00:02:06,961 --> 00:02:08,193
You're right.

31
00:02:08,195 --> 00:02:10,762
Partners for life.

32
00:02:10,764 --> 00:02:13,765
<i> At Metro city port,</i>
<i> the tide comes in</i>
<i> at 10:30 A.M.</i>

33
00:02:13,767 --> 00:02:15,434
<i> Then it will</i>
<i> return to the sea.</i>

34
00:02:15,436 --> 00:02:17,469
Metro port.
One hour.

35
00:02:17,904 --> 00:02:19,471
<i> ¶ ¶</i>

36
00:02:20,039 --> 00:02:21,406
let's do this.

37
00:02:22,509 --> 00:02:24,143
<i> ¶ Turn down for what</i>

38
00:02:27,547 --> 00:02:29,148
<i> ¶ turn down for what</i>

39
00:02:30,884 --> 00:02:32,484
surprise.
There's two more arms.

40
00:02:32,952 --> 00:02:34,620
<i> ¶ ¶</i>

41
00:02:37,056 --> 00:02:38,690
<i> ¶ turn down for what</i>

42
00:02:49,035 --> 00:02:51,303
<i> ¶ turn down for what ¶</i>

43
00:02:51,305 --> 00:02:53,939
shit! That's the ghost.
Jenko: The ghost?

44
00:02:53,941 --> 00:02:55,440
Joste nillsen,

45
00:02:55,442 --> 00:02:57,309
biggest trafficker of
illegal goods in Metro city.

46
00:02:57,311 --> 00:02:59,278
He teamed up with
a Mexican cartel

47
00:02:59,280 --> 00:03:01,013
and they're running
all this shit
through the port.

48
00:03:01,015 --> 00:03:01,980
What the hell
are we supposed
to be buying?

49
00:03:01,982 --> 00:03:02,781
I don't know.

50
00:03:04,918 --> 00:03:06,685
What are you doing?
Huh?

51
00:03:06,687 --> 00:03:08,320
I got a new identity
that's gonna be killer.

52
00:03:08,322 --> 00:03:09,955
I'll be throwing it to you
to make it legit.

53
00:03:09,957 --> 00:03:10,989
(Sighs)

54
00:03:10,991 --> 00:03:12,624
Okay.

55
00:03:12,626 --> 00:03:14,393
I'm gonna need you
to improvise. Okay?

56
00:03:14,395 --> 00:03:15,594
I don't want to improvise.

57
00:03:15,596 --> 00:03:17,396
I'm gonna need you
to improvise.

58
00:03:17,398 --> 00:03:19,131
I suck at improvising.
I don't want to do it.

59
00:03:19,133 --> 00:03:21,733
I need absolute silence
while I fall into character.

60
00:03:21,735 --> 00:03:24,603
I need absolute silence
while I fall into character.

61
00:03:26,105 --> 00:03:27,406
Can you give me
a head start on...

62
00:03:27,408 --> 00:03:29,875
I need absolute...
I need absolute silence.

63
00:03:29,877 --> 00:03:32,277
Can you please...
Absolute silence.

64
00:03:35,815 --> 00:03:37,282
<i> ¶ ¶</i>

65
00:03:48,361 --> 00:03:49,962
jenko: Are you fucking
serious right now?

66
00:03:52,131 --> 00:03:54,366
All right.
I hate people
who are late.

67
00:03:55,902 --> 00:03:57,736
(Speaking Spanish)

68
00:03:57,738 --> 00:03:59,471
We're trying to
see that product.

69
00:03:59,839 --> 00:04:00,806
Shit!

70
00:04:01,674 --> 00:04:03,942
Yo, sleepy!
What's up, homie?

71
00:04:03,944 --> 00:04:05,811
You know my cousin,
sad boy.

72
00:04:05,813 --> 00:04:07,813
I think you got
the wrong guy, homes.

73
00:04:07,815 --> 00:04:10,115
Oh, that's bullshit, man!
You sleepy!

74
00:04:10,117 --> 00:04:11,650
Everyone say
in the barrio,

75
00:04:11,652 --> 00:04:14,486
"sleepy, he like
the Mexican Wolverine"
and shit.

76
00:04:14,488 --> 00:04:16,455
Hey, my partner here,
he want to see
the product.

77
00:04:16,457 --> 00:04:17,589
Why ain't he talking?

78
00:04:21,427 --> 00:04:22,461
(In foreign accent)
My name is Jeff.

79
00:04:23,496 --> 00:04:24,796
That's <i> jeffe,</i> man.

80
00:04:26,199 --> 00:04:28,200
Tell 'em about
mousie's <i> quinceanera,</i> man.

81
00:04:28,202 --> 00:04:31,603
Tell 'em about
that crazy adventure
you guys had.

82
00:04:31,605 --> 00:04:34,940
I don't know what
you're talking about.

83
00:04:34,942 --> 00:04:37,509
Oh, man, when you were
telling the story
last night,

84
00:04:37,511 --> 00:04:39,511
you had so much detail!

85
00:04:39,513 --> 00:04:41,713
The detail was so rich!
It was rich detail!
(Stammering)

86
00:04:41,715 --> 00:04:44,383
Go into incredibly
descriptive details

87
00:04:44,385 --> 00:04:45,684
of the story,
so we all know.

88
00:04:46,586 --> 00:04:47,953
Oh, yes. (Sighs)

89
00:04:48,855 --> 00:04:51,757
It was dora and Diego

90
00:04:52,258 --> 00:04:53,292
and swiper.

91
00:04:53,726 --> 00:04:54,993
Swiper?

92
00:04:54,995 --> 00:04:56,595
Who was that you
choked out, man?

93
00:04:56,597 --> 00:04:58,530
He had it coming!
Who was that?

94
00:05:00,400 --> 00:05:01,800
Boots.

95
00:05:01,802 --> 00:05:05,137
No, man, that wasn't boots!
Boots isn't a real name!

96
00:05:05,139 --> 00:05:06,305
You got to tell them
the real story, man.

97
00:05:06,307 --> 00:05:08,273
Start over from the top.

98
00:05:08,275 --> 00:05:11,376
That's a made-up name.

99
00:05:11,378 --> 00:05:15,047
I can't believe the punks
I have to deal with
these days.

100
00:05:19,619 --> 00:05:22,688
It really makes me
miss the '90s,

101
00:05:23,956 --> 00:05:25,691
when we had
professionals around.

102
00:05:28,795 --> 00:05:29,928
You want to
check out the goods?

103
00:05:31,397 --> 00:05:32,798
Check it out.

104
00:05:34,367 --> 00:05:37,035
And shut up. Right?

105
00:05:37,037 --> 00:05:38,770
Where'd you find
this gringo, man?

106
00:05:38,772 --> 00:05:41,540
At the fucking
mumford & sons concert
and shit? (Laughs)

107
00:05:51,684 --> 00:05:53,585
(Softly) What is it?
Guns? Drugs?

108
00:05:53,587 --> 00:05:55,053
(Hissing)
(Screaming)

109
00:05:55,055 --> 00:05:56,388
No! No!

110
00:05:57,123 --> 00:05:58,957
Dude!
It's gross!

111
00:05:58,959 --> 00:06:00,826
It's inking in my mouth!

112
00:06:01,594 --> 00:06:03,462
I'll get it off.

113
00:06:03,464 --> 00:06:06,565
Its tentacle is eating me!

114
00:06:06,567 --> 00:06:08,533
It's so strong!
It's really on there, man.

115
00:06:08,535 --> 00:06:09,668
It's biting my face!

116
00:06:10,937 --> 00:06:11,837
(Screams)

117
00:06:12,672 --> 00:06:14,172
Shit!

118
00:06:14,174 --> 00:06:16,908
Black market exotic animals,
just like we expected
to be in there.

119
00:06:16,910 --> 00:06:17,976
The accents
are gone, huh?

120
00:06:19,045 --> 00:06:20,846
Take them out, guys.
They're cops.

121
00:06:22,215 --> 00:06:23,849
(Guns firing)

122
00:06:30,356 --> 00:06:31,723
What was that?
I don't know!
I think we're moving.

123
00:06:33,326 --> 00:06:34,726
We're definitely moving!

124
00:06:34,728 --> 00:06:36,294
Jenko: There's fucking
birds and shit in here!

125
00:06:36,296 --> 00:06:37,462
There's actual shit!

126
00:06:38,097 --> 00:06:39,431
Schmidt: What the fuck?

127
00:06:39,433 --> 00:06:41,867
There's a fucking
dragon in here!

128
00:06:41,869 --> 00:06:42,634
(Screeching)
(Screaming) Shit!

129
00:06:45,872 --> 00:06:46,705
What was that?

130
00:06:49,475 --> 00:06:51,476
Dude, that was our car.

131
00:06:51,478 --> 00:06:53,712
We shared so much
in that car!

132
00:06:53,714 --> 00:06:57,382
I'm going to shoot
them in the face for that!
That was our fucking car!

133
00:06:57,384 --> 00:06:59,384
What are you doing?

134
00:06:59,386 --> 00:07:01,219
Don't <i> teen wolf</i>
on the truck!

135
00:07:01,221 --> 00:07:02,354
Don't leave me here alone!

136
00:07:02,356 --> 00:07:03,388
Then get up here!

137
00:07:03,390 --> 00:07:04,823
I can't do that!

138
00:07:04,825 --> 00:07:07,759
Then fucking climb around.
Come on, climb around.

139
00:07:07,761 --> 00:07:09,795
Let's go.
Come on, buddy.
You got it.

140
00:07:09,797 --> 00:07:10,829
Schmidt:
This is so scary!

141
00:07:10,831 --> 00:07:11,897
Shoot him!

142
00:07:11,899 --> 00:07:13,465
Schmidt: Don't leave me
out here!

143
00:07:13,467 --> 00:07:15,400
I'm all out.
You stupid moron!

144
00:07:15,402 --> 00:07:16,501
That's it. Come on.
(Grunting)

145
00:07:18,638 --> 00:07:20,472
Fucking get up here.
Come on.
Fuck!

146
00:07:20,474 --> 00:07:21,807
All right, you good?
Yeah!

147
00:07:21,809 --> 00:07:23,175
All you got to do
is walk now, okay?
Okay.

148
00:07:24,210 --> 00:07:25,043
(Screams)

149
00:07:25,778 --> 00:07:26,845
Shit!

150
00:07:28,848 --> 00:07:30,649
What the fuck
are you doing?
Get up here!

151
00:07:30,651 --> 00:07:32,417
I can't!

152
00:07:32,419 --> 00:07:34,252
All right, fine,
I guess I'll just
drag you.

153
00:07:34,254 --> 00:07:35,787
I'm gonna die!

154
00:07:35,789 --> 00:07:38,423
You're not gonna die.
Just get the fuck up here!

155
00:07:38,425 --> 00:07:39,791
(Schmidt continues screaming)

156
00:07:43,696 --> 00:07:44,196
(Tires screeching)
Pull yourself up here.

157
00:07:45,164 --> 00:07:46,598
Use your core!

158
00:07:48,668 --> 00:07:50,902
You got it, you got it.
Come on, come on.
Yeah!

159
00:07:50,904 --> 00:07:51,636
All right.
Think you can stand
on your own now?

160
00:07:51,638 --> 00:07:53,038
Yes!

161
00:07:53,040 --> 00:07:53,805
I think we lost them.

162
00:07:54,941 --> 00:07:56,107
Shit!

163
00:07:57,410 --> 00:07:58,076
He's the fucking
Terminator!

164
00:07:59,278 --> 00:08:00,011
That's fucking dangerous!

165
00:08:02,815 --> 00:08:05,784
You are under arrest!

166
00:08:05,786 --> 00:08:07,819
Pull the truck over!

167
00:08:07,821 --> 00:08:09,988
I said pull
the fucking truck over
right fucking now!

168
00:08:11,324 --> 00:08:12,724
You owe me a car,

169
00:08:12,726 --> 00:08:14,226
and it'd better be
a fucking lamborghini,
you bitch!

170
00:08:14,228 --> 00:08:15,560
I did it!

171
00:08:15,562 --> 00:08:16,528
You have the right
to remain silent.

172
00:08:17,330 --> 00:08:18,196
Oh, shit!

173
00:08:19,398 --> 00:08:20,532
(Both screaming)

174
00:08:25,338 --> 00:08:27,405
Holy Moses!

175
00:08:27,407 --> 00:08:28,773
Schmidt: Shit.

176
00:08:28,775 --> 00:08:30,141
(Jenko grunts)

177
00:08:30,143 --> 00:08:31,576
Jenko: What happened?

178
00:08:31,578 --> 00:08:32,577
Schmidt:
I think they got away.

179
00:08:36,415 --> 00:08:38,650
Is that a hickey?

180
00:08:38,652 --> 00:08:43,788
Oh. This was actually
an octopus-related incident.

181
00:08:43,790 --> 00:08:48,860
I'd opened a crate
and the octopus had
leapt onto my face.

182
00:08:48,862 --> 00:08:51,663
Apparently, they have
many, many arms.

183
00:08:51,665 --> 00:08:53,098
They have eight tentacles.

184
00:08:53,100 --> 00:08:54,466
Yes, and...

185
00:08:54,468 --> 00:08:56,434
Look, ladies,

186
00:08:56,436 --> 00:09:00,872
nobody gave a shit about
the jump street reboot
when you first came on.

187
00:09:00,874 --> 00:09:02,941
Anyone with half a brain,
myself included,

188
00:09:02,943 --> 00:09:05,744
thought it was destined
to fail spectacularly.

189
00:09:05,746 --> 00:09:07,312
But you got lucky.

190
00:09:07,314 --> 00:09:09,080
So now this department
has invested

191
00:09:09,082 --> 00:09:13,118
a lot of money to make sure
jump street keeps going.

192
00:09:13,120 --> 00:09:15,353
We've doubled
their budget.

193
00:09:15,355 --> 00:09:18,189
As if spending twice the money
guaranteed twice the profit.

194
00:09:18,191 --> 00:09:19,758
(Laughing)

195
00:09:19,760 --> 00:09:21,593
Like that's going
to work.

196
00:09:21,595 --> 00:09:25,864
Yeah. Well,
the commissioner's convinced
this debacle happened

197
00:09:25,866 --> 00:09:28,600
because you weren't
doing the same
undercover student thing

198
00:09:28,602 --> 00:09:30,001
you did the first time.

199
00:09:30,003 --> 00:09:32,337
She doesn't get
that it's always worse

200
00:09:32,339 --> 00:09:33,271
the second time around.

201
00:09:34,173 --> 00:09:36,207
You settle into
worn-out roles.

202
00:09:36,209 --> 00:09:38,877
One gets possessive,
the other runs away.

203
00:09:38,879 --> 00:09:41,079
You begin a slow,
painful unraveling,

204
00:09:41,081 --> 00:09:43,615
as all the good things
that came before

205
00:09:43,617 --> 00:09:47,052
begin to be crushed
by the trash compactor
of sadness.

206
00:09:48,321 --> 00:09:50,221
That doesn't sound like us.
I mean... (Chuckles)

207
00:09:50,223 --> 00:09:51,890
I'm getting a divorce.

208
00:09:53,893 --> 00:09:56,528
We don't want to
do the same thing.

209
00:09:56,530 --> 00:09:58,930
We want to burst
through our ceiling.

210
00:09:58,932 --> 00:10:00,265
And you're gonna
find another ceiling

211
00:10:00,267 --> 00:10:01,800
and you got to
bust through that one,

212
00:10:01,802 --> 00:10:02,601
and you just got to
keep hammering ceilings.

213
00:10:02,603 --> 00:10:04,502
Okay, okay, okay.

214
00:10:04,504 --> 00:10:07,172
What if we actually went
into the secret service

215
00:10:07,174 --> 00:10:08,640
and, like, tried to
protect the white house?

216
00:10:08,642 --> 00:10:10,809
I think...
I don't think
that would work.

217
00:10:10,811 --> 00:10:12,544
I'm going to ask you
to stop talking.

218
00:10:12,546 --> 00:10:13,979
I thought it was
a pretty good idea.

219
00:10:13,981 --> 00:10:17,716
Do the same thing
as last time,
everyone's happy.

220
00:10:21,253 --> 00:10:23,655
I can't believe
the Koreans bought
their church back.

221
00:10:23,657 --> 00:10:25,423
Yeah. Good thing
there was an even bigger

222
00:10:25,425 --> 00:10:27,158
abandoned church
directly across
the street.

223
00:10:27,160 --> 00:10:30,829
Yeah. That's convenient.
Yes, it is convenient.

224
00:10:30,831 --> 00:10:32,364
Next year, we'll probably
just be right back
across the street.

225
00:10:32,366 --> 00:10:33,765
Just next door.

226
00:10:33,767 --> 00:10:35,600
(Scoffs) Let's not get
ahead of ourselves.

227
00:10:35,602 --> 00:10:36,868
We're not ahead
of ourselves.

228
00:10:36,870 --> 00:10:37,402
We're right next
to each other.

229
00:10:40,773 --> 00:10:44,109
This is awesome.
Like, way more expensive
for no reason.

230
00:10:44,877 --> 00:10:46,044
Look at dickson's office.

231
00:10:46,046 --> 00:10:49,247
Looks like
a giant cube of ice.

232
00:10:49,249 --> 00:10:50,749
How you bitches
like jump street now?

233
00:10:51,050 --> 00:10:52,017
Hey!

234
00:10:52,785 --> 00:10:54,719
Y'all see this shit?

235
00:10:54,721 --> 00:10:57,689
22 jump street
is the lick.

236
00:10:57,691 --> 00:10:59,224
And I got
a big-ass raise

237
00:10:59,226 --> 00:11:01,726
to babysit
you two fuckers again.

238
00:11:01,728 --> 00:11:04,162
Designed it myself.
We got an espresso bar.

239
00:11:04,164 --> 00:11:05,964
I'm thinking about
a shark tank over there.

240
00:11:05,966 --> 00:11:07,432
Ooh, I like sharks.

241
00:11:07,434 --> 00:11:11,202
Fuck a 21 jump street,
and fuck a Korean Jesus.

242
00:11:11,204 --> 00:11:13,104
Whoa! Cap, come on,
Korean Jesus
is right there.

243
00:11:13,106 --> 00:11:14,739
Dickson:
That's vietnamese Jesus.

244
00:11:14,741 --> 00:11:16,941
See,
this a vietnamese church.

245
00:11:16,943 --> 00:11:20,345
You racist,
sacrilegious sack of shit.

246
00:11:20,347 --> 00:11:25,116
Look at that.
Vietnamese Jesus
just dripping swagoo.

247
00:11:25,118 --> 00:11:26,651
And we got some
new dumb-ass interns.

248
00:11:26,653 --> 00:11:28,119
Hey, hey!
Look alive!
Huh?

249
00:11:28,121 --> 00:11:30,321
(Chuckles) Boys.
Yo, jenko.

250
00:11:30,323 --> 00:11:31,289
(Grunting)

251
00:11:33,926 --> 00:11:35,060
Hey, schmidt!

252
00:11:38,364 --> 00:11:40,699
Don't do that.

253
00:11:40,701 --> 00:11:42,801
So, they want
the same shit,
so here we go.

254
00:11:43,869 --> 00:11:45,170
Same identities.

255
00:11:46,439 --> 00:11:48,139
Same assignment.

256
00:11:48,141 --> 00:11:49,641
Jenko: We're going back
to high school?

257
00:11:49,643 --> 00:11:51,576
Your ass look
like you about 50.

258
00:11:51,578 --> 00:11:53,111
You're going to mc state.

259
00:11:53,113 --> 00:11:54,746
We're going to
college for real?

260
00:11:54,748 --> 00:11:58,216
Somebody's out there,
they're cooking up
a new drug.

261
00:11:58,218 --> 00:12:01,252
It's Adderall mixed
with ecstasy mixed
with God knows what else.

262
00:12:01,254 --> 00:12:03,888
Jenko: "Wipey"?

263
00:12:03,890 --> 00:12:06,157
No, you dumb motherfucker.
"Whyphy."

264
00:12:06,159 --> 00:12:09,627
Stands for "work hard? Yes.
Play hard? Yes."

265
00:12:09,629 --> 00:12:11,396
Now, these kids
take this shit,

266
00:12:11,398 --> 00:12:15,066
and they get laser-focused
for about four hours
of studying,

267
00:12:15,068 --> 00:12:18,169
and then they party
like it's goddamn 1999.

268
00:12:18,938 --> 00:12:20,338
Schmidt: Who's this?

269
00:12:20,340 --> 00:12:21,906
That's Cynthia Watson.

270
00:12:21,908 --> 00:12:23,742
She was a student
at mc state.

271
00:12:23,744 --> 00:12:24,976
She took some whyphy,

272
00:12:24,978 --> 00:12:26,244
got locked out
of her dorm,

273
00:12:26,246 --> 00:12:27,479
ended up
falling off the roof.

274
00:12:28,514 --> 00:12:29,247
And now she's dead.

275
00:12:32,818 --> 00:12:34,953
That's her buying drugs
on campus.

276
00:12:34,955 --> 00:12:36,654
And that's the dealer.

277
00:12:36,656 --> 00:12:38,857
Find him and we find
the supplier.

278
00:12:39,458 --> 00:12:41,726
Sir, can I just say,

279
00:12:41,728 --> 00:12:45,597
it is so refreshing
to have a case
with a black victim.

280
00:12:45,599 --> 00:12:48,299
I mean,
we care so much more
because she's black.

281
00:12:48,301 --> 00:12:50,568
I think what he's
really trying to say

282
00:12:50,570 --> 00:12:53,371
is that we care equally.

283
00:12:53,373 --> 00:12:56,541
It's a tie, really,
how much we care.

284
00:12:56,543 --> 00:13:00,078
Uh... no, we're not.
If it was a white person,
I wouldn't even care.

285
00:13:00,080 --> 00:13:01,312
One less cracker-ass
cracker to worry about.

286
00:13:03,482 --> 00:13:06,484
Why every time
you speak I want to
throw the fuck up?

287
00:13:06,486 --> 00:13:09,387
Infiltrate the dealer,
find the supplier.

288
00:13:09,389 --> 00:13:10,889
<i> ¶ ¶</i>

289
00:13:12,258 --> 00:13:13,324
(indistinct conversations)

290
00:13:19,331 --> 00:13:20,565
You all right?

291
00:13:21,600 --> 00:13:22,567
Yeah.

292
00:13:23,335 --> 00:13:24,402
It's just...

293
00:13:26,405 --> 00:13:30,275
I'm the first person
in my family to pretend
to go to college.

294
00:13:30,277 --> 00:13:32,110
Best part is we get to
do it together.

295
00:13:33,646 --> 00:13:35,246
What's up, college?

296
00:13:35,248 --> 00:13:36,648
What's up, bro?
We're 322.

297
00:13:36,650 --> 00:13:37,715
Fuck high school,
right?

298
00:13:37,717 --> 00:13:38,850
Fuck high school.

299
00:13:39,518 --> 00:13:41,052
Oh, so tight!

300
00:13:41,054 --> 00:13:43,888
Oh, this is so baller!

301
00:13:43,890 --> 00:13:45,890
Beds... oh, shit.
(Groans)

302
00:13:45,892 --> 00:13:48,159
Oh, dope.
That looks like cum.

303
00:13:48,161 --> 00:13:49,828
That's cum.
Okay. All right.

304
00:13:49,830 --> 00:13:51,162
Already got cum on
the mattress, dawg.

305
00:13:52,731 --> 00:13:54,432
Welcome to college.
Fuck, yeah.

306
00:14:02,308 --> 00:14:04,309
Hilarious shirt that
signals we drink alcohol.

307
00:14:07,046 --> 00:14:09,247
Some bacon machine
that my mom got me.

308
00:14:09,249 --> 00:14:10,582
I do not understand
how it works.

309
00:14:19,592 --> 00:14:21,226
It's true.

310
00:14:21,228 --> 00:14:22,360
Jenko: Super high-tech
police gear.

311
00:14:23,662 --> 00:14:26,097
Carte blanche with
the budget, motherfucker.

312
00:14:29,134 --> 00:14:30,869
I'm going to veto
that poster.

313
00:14:30,871 --> 00:14:33,371
It's a touch childish.

314
00:14:33,373 --> 00:14:36,107
Okay. What do lambos have to
do with touching children?

315
00:14:36,109 --> 00:14:38,276
Lambos are lame.

316
00:14:38,278 --> 00:14:41,112
I get one choice.
I get one thing
that I'm not...

317
00:14:41,114 --> 00:14:42,881
We have to agree.
You know what I mean?

318
00:14:42,883 --> 00:14:45,383
What up, fellas? We're your
across-the-hall neighbors.

319
00:14:45,385 --> 00:14:46,351
Oh, hey,
there's two of you.
You're twins.

320
00:14:46,353 --> 00:14:47,485
What's up, man?

321
00:14:47,487 --> 00:14:49,854
We're the yangs, man.
Kenny Yang. What's up?

322
00:14:49,856 --> 00:14:51,189
Keith Yang.

323
00:14:51,191 --> 00:14:52,523
What's going on?
What's going on?

324
00:14:52,525 --> 00:14:53,691
Did you say the yangs?

325
00:14:53,693 --> 00:14:55,293
Yeah,
dad's Chinese, man.

326
00:14:55,295 --> 00:14:57,528
Our mom's not Chinese.
She's black.

327
00:14:57,530 --> 00:14:58,997
Oh.
She's like real black.

328
00:14:58,999 --> 00:15:00,632
Like Wesley snipes black.
Exactly.

329
00:15:00,634 --> 00:15:01,666
We're brothers, too.

330
00:15:01,668 --> 00:15:03,434
(Both chuckling)

331
00:15:03,436 --> 00:15:04,769
No. He's not kidding.
He's serious.

332
00:15:04,771 --> 00:15:06,170
Oh, really?

333
00:15:06,172 --> 00:15:07,605
What?
Like, one of
y'all older?

334
00:15:07,607 --> 00:15:09,307
Mmm-hmm.

335
00:15:09,309 --> 00:15:10,174
Yeah, 'cause you got
crow's feet under
your eyes, man.

336
00:15:10,176 --> 00:15:11,876
You specifically.

337
00:15:11,878 --> 00:15:14,646
We're actually just
normal college age.

338
00:15:14,648 --> 00:15:16,314
I mean, even if
you're a little older,
that's cool, man,

339
00:15:16,316 --> 00:15:17,615
because, you know,
girls here love older dudes.

340
00:15:17,617 --> 00:15:18,917
That's true.

341
00:15:18,919 --> 00:15:20,785
Plus, there's mad
fuckable girls here.

342
00:15:20,787 --> 00:15:22,720
Mad fuckable.
Especially
during spring break.

343
00:15:22,722 --> 00:15:24,923
Jenko: I love spring break.
But I do have to say,

344
00:15:24,925 --> 00:15:26,424
I've fucked
a thousand girls by now

345
00:15:26,426 --> 00:15:27,692
and I don't know,
at the end of the day,

346
00:15:27,694 --> 00:15:28,960
you just kind
of want something

347
00:15:28,962 --> 00:15:30,061
that's just
a little deeper really.

348
00:15:30,063 --> 00:15:33,932
Both: Yeah, balls deeper.
Jinx. Buy me a coke.

349
00:15:33,934 --> 00:15:37,335
Oh, snap, we're still
saying the same thing.
This is amazing!

350
00:15:37,337 --> 00:15:40,271
Carrots. Pumpernickels.
Glow sticks. Twins!

351
00:15:40,273 --> 00:15:42,173
That's dope, dude.
That's so sick.

352
00:15:42,175 --> 00:15:45,443
That's crazy. We have that
brother connection, too.

353
00:15:45,445 --> 00:15:46,811
You ready?
Mmm-hmm. Yeah.

354
00:15:46,813 --> 00:15:48,513
Pirates! Baby feet!
Paper clips! Bananas!

355
00:15:48,515 --> 00:15:50,481
Sun! Anger!
I don't know! Words!

356
00:15:50,483 --> 00:15:51,716
Quicksand!
Shoes!

357
00:15:51,718 --> 00:15:53,117
Boom!

358
00:15:53,119 --> 00:15:54,552
That's hip-hop, man.
Awesome.

359
00:15:54,554 --> 00:15:55,453
That's great.

360
00:15:56,088 --> 00:15:58,056
It's gonna
be super fun.

361
00:15:58,058 --> 00:15:59,157
All right?
Same as last time.

362
00:16:00,159 --> 00:16:02,060
Dude, if it's
like last time,

363
00:16:02,062 --> 00:16:03,928
you're gonna have
an awesome time,
and it's gonna suck for me.

364
00:16:03,930 --> 00:16:05,596
No. You're gonna have
an awesome time, too,

365
00:16:05,598 --> 00:16:07,165
because I'm gonna
make sure of it.

366
00:16:07,167 --> 00:16:08,633
You took a bullet for me.

367
00:16:08,635 --> 00:16:11,202
That's right,
I did, and it sucked,
but I'd do it again.

368
00:16:11,204 --> 00:16:13,404
No way. It's my turn.
I owe you a life debt.

369
00:16:13,406 --> 00:16:14,505
(Singsong)
Co-ed bathrooms.

370
00:16:14,507 --> 00:16:16,307
What? Oh, shit.

371
00:16:17,810 --> 00:16:19,077
(Whispering) I'm not
gonna take a shit

372
00:16:19,079 --> 00:16:19,944
the entire time
I'm here.

373
00:16:19,946 --> 00:16:21,179
I know.

374
00:16:22,047 --> 00:16:23,614
Hey.
How you doing?

375
00:16:24,383 --> 00:16:25,950
Hey.

376
00:16:25,952 --> 00:16:28,686
What's up?
'Sup?

377
00:16:28,688 --> 00:16:30,788
Just exhausted from
inventing Facebook

378
00:16:30,790 --> 00:16:33,124
or whatever website
people our age use.

379
00:16:36,628 --> 00:16:38,129
Jenko: They still
have books?

380
00:16:38,131 --> 00:16:40,198
I thought they just
put the books
inside the computers.

381
00:16:40,200 --> 00:16:42,734
Yeah, I guess the kids
just use the stacks
to hide and have sex.

382
00:16:42,736 --> 00:16:44,736
So we'll go to all
Cynthia's classes
and activities,

383
00:16:44,738 --> 00:16:46,137
ask around
about the drug

384
00:16:46,139 --> 00:16:47,772
and find out
who the dealer is.

385
00:16:47,774 --> 00:16:49,040
Yeah, it's just
like last time.

386
00:16:49,042 --> 00:16:50,908
Exactly like last time.

387
00:16:50,910 --> 00:16:52,076
Dude, in human sexuality,

388
00:16:52,078 --> 00:16:53,644
do you get to fuck

389
00:16:53,646 --> 00:16:55,146
or do you just get
to watch people fuck?

390
00:16:55,714 --> 00:16:56,781
Neither.

391
00:16:58,150 --> 00:16:59,584
What the fuck am I
taking it for, then?

392
00:16:59,609 --> 00:17:02,809

393
00:17:02,821 --> 00:17:04,989
Now, obviously,
we've all heard
this statement before,

394
00:17:07,026 --> 00:17:08,726
I've got a first
impression for you.

395
00:17:08,728 --> 00:17:09,627
(Clears throat)

396
00:17:11,463 --> 00:17:13,064
(Mimicking Tracy Morgan)
Oh, y'all like psychology?

397
00:17:13,066 --> 00:17:14,399
Tracy Morgan.

398
00:17:18,137 --> 00:17:19,203
Nobody?

399
00:17:20,639 --> 00:17:22,640
(Softly) Work hard,
play hard, am I right?

400
00:17:22,665 --> 00:17:27,565
Subtitling: fewat.com

401
00:17:27,780 --> 00:17:28,946
You looking
for some whyphy?

402
00:17:28,948 --> 00:17:30,048
Yeah, man,
that'd be sick.

403
00:17:30,050 --> 00:17:31,682
Go to the police station,

404
00:17:31,684 --> 00:17:33,451
walk in and ask your captain
to see the evidence room

405
00:17:33,453 --> 00:17:34,252
'cause you're
a fucking narc.

406
00:17:35,154 --> 00:17:37,355
I think you're mistaken.

407
00:17:37,357 --> 00:17:39,323
(Laughs) You're literally
wearing your badge.

408
00:17:39,325 --> 00:17:40,291
Did you really
just check to see

409
00:17:40,293 --> 00:17:41,359
if you were
wearing your badge?

410
00:17:41,361 --> 00:17:42,360
This guy's a fucking cop.

411
00:17:42,362 --> 00:17:44,128
I didn't look down.

412
00:17:47,499 --> 00:17:50,368
"Wait, Professor Jacobs,
doesn't history happen
a long time ago?"

413
00:17:50,370 --> 00:17:52,203
Well, history happens...

414
00:17:52,205 --> 00:17:55,306
This class is such a gut.

415
00:17:55,308 --> 00:17:56,207
Hey, you guys
play football?

416
00:17:56,209 --> 00:17:58,209
No, this is actually
my laptop.

417
00:17:58,211 --> 00:17:59,243
Yeah, I'm taking
notes right now.

418
00:18:00,679 --> 00:18:02,313
I'm kidding.
It's a football.

419
00:18:02,315 --> 00:18:03,314
Mr. mcquaid?

420
00:18:04,683 --> 00:18:05,550
Covalent bonds.

421
00:18:06,452 --> 00:18:08,119
(Exhales loudly)

422
00:18:08,121 --> 00:18:12,423
What has been the result
of the war on drugs?

423
00:18:12,425 --> 00:18:14,592
Why would you ask me?
I'm not a cop.

424
00:18:15,994 --> 00:18:17,595
Because this is
a college seminar,

425
00:18:17,597 --> 00:18:20,064
and that's how
college seminars work.

426
00:18:20,066 --> 00:18:23,634
Professor gets into
a lively conversation
with the student.

427
00:18:23,636 --> 00:18:26,771
Friction creates fire,
and that leads to
lessons learned.

428
00:18:26,773 --> 00:18:28,039
Well, it's definitely
harder to get drugs.

429
00:18:28,041 --> 00:18:29,607
I can personally
tell you that.

430
00:18:29,609 --> 00:18:31,576
The average price
of cocaine

431
00:18:31,578 --> 00:18:34,545
has dropped 70%
in the last 30 years.

432
00:18:34,547 --> 00:18:36,414
Then your dealer's
probably selling you
some pretty stepped-on shit.

433
00:18:36,416 --> 00:18:38,149
(Students laughing)

434
00:18:38,151 --> 00:18:41,452
Mr. mcquaid, college is
a wonderful place.

435
00:18:41,454 --> 00:18:45,022
This is where
you get to decide
who you actually are,

436
00:18:45,024 --> 00:18:47,725
instead of the person
that you're clearly
pretending to be right now,

437
00:18:47,727 --> 00:18:50,161
which everyone
sees through,
by the way.

438
00:18:50,163 --> 00:18:53,664
You got to decide,
"do I just keep
doing the same thing,

439
00:18:53,666 --> 00:18:56,100
"or am I gonna
choose a different path

440
00:18:56,102 --> 00:18:57,602
"and question
my convictions?"

441
00:18:59,071 --> 00:19:00,705
I don't have any
prior convictions.

442
00:19:03,575 --> 00:19:05,309
Why are you
saying this stuff?

443
00:19:07,446 --> 00:19:10,448
That's exactly
the answer I wanted,
Mr. mcquaid!

444
00:19:10,450 --> 00:19:12,884
I want you to question
what I'm saying.

445
00:19:12,886 --> 00:19:15,219
This is the basis
of this whole course,

446
00:19:15,221 --> 00:19:16,821
and that's the beauty
of college.

447
00:19:16,823 --> 00:19:18,389
You can say
whatever you want.

448
00:19:18,391 --> 00:19:20,057
You can be
whatever you want.

449
00:19:20,059 --> 00:19:22,894
I mean, I have tenure.
I can really say
whatever I want.

450
00:19:22,896 --> 00:19:24,595
George Washington
was a black lesbian.

451
00:19:24,597 --> 00:19:26,430
The eiffel tower
is made of dildos.

452
00:19:26,432 --> 00:19:28,199
They can't fire me.
I'm indestructible.

453
00:19:28,201 --> 00:19:29,467
(Smacking lips)

454
00:19:29,469 --> 00:19:30,801
I'm sleeping with
two of my students.

455
00:19:30,803 --> 00:19:32,069
Her and her.
I actually am.

456
00:19:32,071 --> 00:19:34,138
Now, just like
you did before,

457
00:19:34,140 --> 00:19:37,742
I want you right now
to say whatever you want.

458
00:19:37,744 --> 00:19:39,377
Say whatever you want.

459
00:19:39,645 --> 00:19:41,913
Fieto.

460
00:19:41,915 --> 00:19:45,183
"Fieto," not a word,
but I'm gonna accept it.

461
00:19:45,185 --> 00:19:48,152
You can do whatever you want
with your life, Mr. mcquaid.

462
00:19:48,154 --> 00:19:50,121
The only way you can
fail this class

463
00:19:50,123 --> 00:19:52,523
is by not becoming
who you truly are.

464
00:19:53,325 --> 00:19:54,792
Please respond to my text.

465
00:19:58,030 --> 00:20:00,798
Male student: Okay,
we got time for just
one more improv game.

466
00:20:00,800 --> 00:20:02,800
For this one,
we need a ton of
different suggestions.

467
00:20:02,802 --> 00:20:05,036
So, we just need you guys
to fill in the blank

468
00:20:05,038 --> 00:20:06,637
in a sentence that
we're gonna set up.

469
00:20:06,639 --> 00:20:09,373
So it'll go like this.
Oh, I'm so hungry,
I wish I had a...

470
00:20:09,375 --> 00:20:11,342
Tampon!
Okay, but we want...

471
00:20:11,344 --> 00:20:12,710
We want it to
be actual food

472
00:20:12,712 --> 00:20:14,145
so that it, like,
makes sense
with the game.

473
00:20:14,147 --> 00:20:17,081
It's more fun that way.
So, uh, let's try it
one more time.

474
00:20:17,083 --> 00:20:19,116
Oh, I've got to get home
so I can feed my...

475
00:20:19,118 --> 00:20:20,651
Boner!

476
00:20:20,653 --> 00:20:21,953
You know what?
Let's just play
the game, okay?

477
00:20:21,955 --> 00:20:24,388
Girl: All right,
so what would you...

478
00:20:24,390 --> 00:20:25,856
Hey, that girl's
in my psych class.

479
00:20:25,858 --> 00:20:27,258
Damn, she's hot.
Go talk to her.

480
00:20:27,260 --> 00:20:28,759
You come talk
to her with me.

481
00:20:28,761 --> 00:20:31,462
Stop being a pussy
and go talk to her. Go.

482
00:20:31,464 --> 00:20:32,763
<i> All right, all right.</i>

483
00:20:32,765 --> 00:20:34,832
<i> Coming to the stage,</i>
<i> we got...</i>

484
00:20:37,469 --> 00:20:38,970
<i> J. Bohnes, aka...</i>

485
00:20:38,972 --> 00:20:41,072
Hey.
Hi.

486
00:20:41,074 --> 00:20:42,473
I think we're in
the same psych class.

487
00:20:43,108 --> 00:20:44,642
Oh, yeah. Hi.

488
00:20:45,143 --> 00:20:46,244
Yeah.

489
00:20:47,312 --> 00:20:51,115
<i> "Pills! Pills!</i>
<i> Bills! Pills!</i>

490
00:20:51,117 --> 00:20:54,619
<i> "Bills! A sign of</i>
<i> the times that rhymes</i>

491
00:20:54,621 --> 00:20:56,487
<i> "Amanda bynes</i>

492
00:20:56,489 --> 00:20:59,156
<i> "drop that</i>
<i> raggedy Andy circus</i>

493
00:20:59,158 --> 00:21:01,058
<i> "circle jerkus..."</i>

494
00:21:01,060 --> 00:21:03,027
You guys are
the improv guys, right?
Yeah.

495
00:21:03,029 --> 00:21:04,428
That's cool.

496
00:21:04,430 --> 00:21:06,230
You're the guy with
the terrible suggestions.

497
00:21:06,232 --> 00:21:08,933
Yeah, yeah.
You're welcome, man.
Yeah.

498
00:21:08,935 --> 00:21:12,236
<i> Thanks, guys.</i>
<i> Um, lady j is gonna</i>
<i> be up next for you.</i>

499
00:21:12,238 --> 00:21:14,639
Cynthia,
that girl who died,

500
00:21:14,641 --> 00:21:15,840
she used to come here
all the time, right?

501
00:21:15,842 --> 00:21:17,074
Mmm.

502
00:21:17,076 --> 00:21:19,877
This piece
is called <i> areolas.</i>

503
00:21:19,879 --> 00:21:22,346
Did you know her?

504
00:21:22,348 --> 00:21:24,315
Yeah, she lived
across the hall from me.

505
00:21:24,317 --> 00:21:25,750
Yeah?
So why do you care so much?

506
00:21:26,351 --> 00:21:28,352
I'm... I'm writing a...

507
00:21:29,154 --> 00:21:30,588
<i> "Greedy man hands!"</i>

508
00:21:30,590 --> 00:21:33,157
...a slam poem
in her honor.

509
00:21:33,159 --> 00:21:34,759
Early stages,
very early stages.

510
00:21:34,761 --> 00:21:36,060
Oh, really?
Yeah, yeah.

511
00:21:36,062 --> 00:21:37,561
Wouldn't it be better

512
00:21:37,563 --> 00:21:39,130
just to, like,
plan the stuff out
ahead of time,

513
00:21:39,132 --> 00:21:42,800
and then not say it
in front of people
and embarrass yourself?

514
00:21:42,802 --> 00:21:46,237
That's a thing
that people do.
That's stand-up comedy.

515
00:21:46,239 --> 00:21:47,371
That's probably
what you should do,

516
00:21:47,373 --> 00:21:49,073
because that
stuff's funny.

517
00:21:49,075 --> 00:21:53,010
<i> "My brown nipple</i>
<i> will produce white milk</i>
<i> during lactation..."</i>

518
00:21:53,012 --> 00:21:54,612
What do you think of this?

519
00:21:54,614 --> 00:21:56,614
I actually think
it's really powerful.

520
00:21:56,616 --> 00:21:58,149
That's cool that
you said that,

521
00:21:58,151 --> 00:22:00,351
'cause I actually thought it
was really powerful, too,

522
00:22:00,353 --> 00:22:03,020
when the one girl
was talking about
her nips and shit.

523
00:22:03,022 --> 00:22:04,755
(Applause)

524
00:22:04,757 --> 00:22:08,426
<i> Okay, does anybody</i>
<i> have anything</i>
<i> they want to share?</i>

525
00:22:08,428 --> 00:22:09,760
Let's see what you got.

526
00:22:09,762 --> 00:22:11,395
<i> Any more poets</i>
<i> in the audience?</i>

527
00:22:11,397 --> 00:22:12,396
I...
I mean, do you
really do poetry?

528
00:22:13,131 --> 00:22:14,799
I do, and I will.

529
00:22:14,801 --> 00:22:16,167
I got somebody.
What?

530
00:22:16,169 --> 00:22:18,969
<i> Okay, we got somebody.</i>
<i> All right, give it up, guys.</i>

531
00:22:18,971 --> 00:22:20,371
Yeah!
Okay.

532
00:22:20,373 --> 00:22:21,639
Just go up there.
All right, okay.

533
00:22:21,641 --> 00:22:22,807
Okay.
No pressure.

534
00:22:22,809 --> 00:22:23,607
You'll see,
it's good.
Yeah!

535
00:22:26,545 --> 00:22:27,812
(Laughs)

536
00:22:29,514 --> 00:22:30,681
<i> Um...</i>

537
00:22:32,317 --> 00:22:34,752
<i> This is a work</i>
<i> in progress.</i>

538
00:22:36,822 --> 00:22:37,688
<i> So, uh...</i>

539
00:22:42,894 --> 00:22:44,562
<i> "Slam poetry!</i>

540
00:22:45,263 --> 00:22:46,464
<i> "Yelling!</i>

541
00:22:47,165 --> 00:22:48,099
<i> "Angry!</i>

542
00:22:49,368 --> 00:22:52,770
<i> "Waving my hands a lot!</i>

543
00:22:52,772 --> 00:22:54,972
<i> "Specific point</i>
<i> of view on things</i>

544
00:22:56,007 --> 00:22:56,774
<i> "Cynthia!</i>

545
00:22:57,676 --> 00:23:00,478
(Enunciating) <i> "Cynthia</i>

546
00:23:00,480 --> 00:23:03,714
<i> "Jesus died for</i>
<i> our sin-thee-uhs</i>

547
00:23:04,316 --> 00:23:05,616
<i> "Jesus cried</i>

548
00:23:06,218 --> 00:23:07,585
<i> "runaway bride</i>

549
00:23:08,653 --> 00:23:10,121
<i> "Julia Roberts!</i>

550
00:23:10,956 --> 00:23:12,757
<i> "Julia rob</i>

551
00:23:13,525 --> 00:23:14,525
<i> "hurts</i>

552
00:23:15,260 --> 00:23:16,494
(laughing)

553
00:23:16,496 --> 00:23:17,962
<i> "Cynthia!</i>

554
00:23:18,363 --> 00:23:20,131
(Groans)

555
00:23:20,133 --> 00:23:22,233
<i> "Cynthia</i>

556
00:23:22,235 --> 00:23:23,934
<i> "you're dead</i>
<i> you are dead</i>

557
00:23:24,503 --> 00:23:27,004
(scatting)

558
00:23:28,273 --> 00:23:29,073
<i> "You're dead"</i>

559
00:23:30,742 --> 00:23:33,144
<i> that's for Cynthia,</i>
<i> who's dead.</i>

560
00:23:34,579 --> 00:23:35,813
(All applauding)

561
00:23:39,017 --> 00:23:40,017
Whoo!

562
00:23:46,458 --> 00:23:48,192
I don't have
a single lead.

563
00:23:48,194 --> 00:23:51,028
I do. I hear you can
get whyphy on campus
anywhere 24/7.

564
00:23:53,231 --> 00:23:54,899
Do you think they mean
whyphy the drug

565
00:23:54,901 --> 00:23:55,900
or wi-fi like
the Internet?

566
00:23:57,335 --> 00:23:58,869
What...

567
00:24:00,238 --> 00:24:02,339
Fuck you, brain.

568
00:24:02,341 --> 00:24:05,509
How did we find
the dealers so easy
the first time?

569
00:24:05,511 --> 00:24:07,011
Well, his number was
literally on a sticker.

570
00:24:07,013 --> 00:24:09,013
Well, let's go find
this guy's sticker.

571
00:24:09,015 --> 00:24:10,781
I don't think this guy
does stickers.

572
00:24:10,783 --> 00:24:13,717
Well, we need help.
We need to consult
an expert.

573
00:24:13,719 --> 00:24:15,686
Kenny: Yo, dude, you shot
him in the dick, dude.

574
00:24:15,688 --> 00:24:16,754
I got him
in the dick.
Yep.

575
00:24:17,789 --> 00:24:19,190
"Shot him in the dick."

576
00:24:20,192 --> 00:24:23,127
(Laughing)

577
00:24:23,129 --> 00:24:25,529
If it isn't
Turner and hooch,
in the flesh.

578
00:24:25,531 --> 00:24:27,998
Holy shit,
you are looking fit.

579
00:24:28,000 --> 00:24:29,467
(Grunts)

580
00:24:29,469 --> 00:24:32,436
Hey, you should get
some tips from this guy.

581
00:24:32,438 --> 00:24:35,172
He's looking good.
Look at those
pectoral muscles.

582
00:24:35,174 --> 00:24:37,241
That's the kind of definition
I want out of you, man.

583
00:24:37,243 --> 00:24:39,076
What's up, Eric?
Hey.

584
00:24:39,078 --> 00:24:41,645
Mr. Walters,
we should, um...

585
00:24:41,647 --> 00:24:43,180
Or I should apologize
for, uh...

586
00:24:45,617 --> 00:24:47,117
For shooting
my penis off?

587
00:24:47,119 --> 00:24:48,486
Yeah.
Yeah.

588
00:24:48,488 --> 00:24:51,822
Don't sweat it, brother.
I'm liberated. Totally.

589
00:24:51,824 --> 00:24:52,756
You know they
gave me a vagina?

590
00:24:53,758 --> 00:24:55,693
It's awesome.
You guys want
to see it?

591
00:24:55,695 --> 00:24:57,761
No, no, no, no!
No, no, no.

592
00:24:57,763 --> 00:24:59,930
That's fine.
All right.
Eric's seen it.

593
00:24:59,932 --> 00:25:02,266
Eric's been all
up in that shit.
Isn't that right, Eric?

594
00:25:02,268 --> 00:25:03,734
You guys got to get me
the fuck out of here.

595
00:25:03,736 --> 00:25:04,768
Hey, guess what.

596
00:25:04,770 --> 00:25:05,769
I'm Eric's bitch.

597
00:25:06,271 --> 00:25:07,404
No, you're not.

598
00:25:07,406 --> 00:25:09,206
Yes! I am!

599
00:25:09,774 --> 00:25:10,875
I'm your bitch.

600
00:25:12,110 --> 00:25:14,545
Oh, my God.
I'm so sorry, honey.

601
00:25:14,547 --> 00:25:16,914
I didn't mean that.
You know that, right?

602
00:25:16,916 --> 00:25:18,883
I am such a bitch
when aunt flo shows up.

603
00:25:18,885 --> 00:25:21,886
It bleeds so much,
it's crazy.

604
00:25:21,888 --> 00:25:24,288
It's like
the elevator doors opening
in <i> the shining.</i>

605
00:25:24,290 --> 00:25:26,957
Your vagina doesn't
fucking work, man.

606
00:25:26,959 --> 00:25:29,627
Worked for you
last night. (Chuckles)

607
00:25:29,629 --> 00:25:32,963
You are
so clearly forcing Eric
into this relationship.

608
00:25:32,965 --> 00:25:35,032
Eric, am I forcing you
into anything?

609
00:25:35,034 --> 00:25:37,268
Yes.
(Chuckles) See?

610
00:25:37,270 --> 00:25:38,669
Look, they sent us
in undercover
at a college

611
00:25:38,671 --> 00:25:40,304
to find the dealer
of this new synthetic,

612
00:25:40,306 --> 00:25:42,339
and no one will
tell us anything.

613
00:25:42,341 --> 00:25:44,608
That's 'cause
you guys look like
fucking narcs, all right?

614
00:25:44,610 --> 00:25:46,210
College kids
aren't dumb like Eric.

615
00:25:46,212 --> 00:25:47,845
I was supposed
to go to Berkeley.

616
00:25:47,847 --> 00:25:50,581
Well,
they gave us a picture,
so we do have that.

617
00:25:50,583 --> 00:25:51,749
Well, that's your lead,
motherfucker!

618
00:25:51,751 --> 00:25:53,651
That's what you start with.

619
00:25:53,653 --> 00:25:55,619
I know,
but we can't see his face,
so we don't know who it is.

620
00:25:55,621 --> 00:25:57,655
"We don't know who it is.

621
00:25:57,657 --> 00:25:59,723
"I'm schmidt. My pants
are filled with doody."

622
00:25:59,725 --> 00:26:01,792
(Groans) That's you.

623
00:26:01,794 --> 00:26:02,760
That doesn't sound
anything like me.

624
00:26:04,029 --> 00:26:05,596
You sort of
sound like that.

625
00:26:05,598 --> 00:26:06,764
That doesn't sound
anything like me.

626
00:26:06,766 --> 00:26:07,831
"That doesn't sound
anything like me."

627
00:26:07,833 --> 00:26:09,266
It's not not you.

628
00:26:09,268 --> 00:26:13,237
Eric! Close your eyes
and tell me who's
talking right now.

629
00:26:13,239 --> 00:26:14,972
(Babbling)

630
00:26:14,974 --> 00:26:16,974
That's schmidt
being a little bitch.

631
00:26:16,976 --> 00:26:18,542
That's just not
a good impression.

632
00:26:18,544 --> 00:26:19,743
Walters: Whoa!

633
00:26:19,745 --> 00:26:21,679
Nice job, super sleuths.

634
00:26:21,681 --> 00:26:22,980
Did you even
bother to look at
the fucking picture?

635
00:26:23,481 --> 00:26:25,015
Yeah.
Huh?

636
00:26:25,017 --> 00:26:26,050
There's a reflection
right here.

637
00:26:27,819 --> 00:26:29,987
Your fucking guy's
got a tattoo.

638
00:26:29,989 --> 00:26:33,557
Find the tattoo,
find the dealer.

639
00:26:33,559 --> 00:26:37,728
Fuck, man, I don't know.
I do a lot of stupid
tattoos to drunk kids.

640
00:26:37,730 --> 00:26:39,063
Do you remember
that stupid tattoo?

641
00:26:39,065 --> 00:26:40,931
Tattoo artist:
A bazooka?

642
00:26:40,933 --> 00:26:44,535
Think I might have did it
on a football player.

643
00:26:44,537 --> 00:26:45,903
Guy with a red mohawk.
I don't know.

644
00:26:45,905 --> 00:26:47,771
They all start to
look the same to me.

645
00:26:47,773 --> 00:26:49,607
I think I know exactly
who he's talking about.

646
00:26:50,542 --> 00:26:51,842
(Grunting)

647
00:26:52,444 --> 00:26:54,378
Fuck you!

648
00:26:54,380 --> 00:26:56,981
Fuck you,
you little walk-on fuck!

649
00:26:56,983 --> 00:26:58,782
I can't, like, move around
in these things.

650
00:26:58,784 --> 00:27:00,451
Rooster: God,
I love walk-on day!

651
00:27:00,453 --> 00:27:01,318
(Whispers) Fuck, yeah.

652
00:27:04,022 --> 00:27:05,489
That's a weird time
to be q-tipping.

653
00:27:05,491 --> 00:27:08,325
You're all fucking pussies!

654
00:27:08,327 --> 00:27:10,260
Dude, you don't
have to do this.
What?

655
00:27:10,262 --> 00:27:11,829
I just don't want
you to get hurt.
I'm not gonna get...

656
00:27:11,831 --> 00:27:12,963
Whoops.
(Grunts)

657
00:27:12,965 --> 00:27:14,264
Shit. Whoa.

658
00:27:14,266 --> 00:27:15,833
Dude, I am so sorry.

659
00:27:15,835 --> 00:27:16,934
It's all right, man.
Don't worry about it, man.

660
00:27:16,936 --> 00:27:18,402
Are you sure?
All right...
Yeah. Ow.

661
00:27:18,404 --> 00:27:20,471
Shit.
I got it.

662
00:27:20,473 --> 00:27:21,705
Okay, I got it,
I got it.

663
00:27:21,707 --> 00:27:23,307
Ow!
That's fine.

664
00:27:23,309 --> 00:27:24,875
I'll get it.
No, no, let me get it,
let me get it.

665
00:27:24,877 --> 00:27:26,276
No, I got it.
Let me just get it.
No, let me get it.

666
00:27:26,278 --> 00:27:28,312
I got it, I got it.
Let's just...

667
00:27:28,314 --> 00:27:31,048
Dude, I'm sorry.
I got my q-tip
in your meat, bro.

668
00:27:31,050 --> 00:27:33,050
No, man, I got my...
I got my meat
in your q-tip.

669
00:27:33,052 --> 00:27:35,319
It's like a whole
new type of sandwich.

670
00:27:35,321 --> 00:27:37,287
Like, a meat q-tip.
(Chuckles)

671
00:27:37,289 --> 00:27:38,122
Like a meat-qute.

672
00:27:38,757 --> 00:27:40,057
(Both giggling)

673
00:27:40,725 --> 00:27:42,126
That's funny.

674
00:27:42,128 --> 00:27:43,727
Hey, you guys want
some of this sandwich?

675
00:27:43,729 --> 00:27:45,129
It's a meat-qute
sandwich.

676
00:27:45,131 --> 00:27:47,398
Me and this guy are
having a meat-qute.
(Laughing)

677
00:27:49,267 --> 00:27:51,035
You're hilarious, dude.
What's your name?

678
00:27:51,037 --> 00:27:53,070
Brad. Wait...
Brad.

679
00:27:53,072 --> 00:27:54,405
Uh, yeah, yeah,
it's Brad.

680
00:27:54,407 --> 00:27:55,839
I'm zook.
Nice to meet you.
Zook.

681
00:27:55,841 --> 00:27:57,808
Nice to meet you,
too, man.

682
00:27:58,610 --> 00:27:59,810
Zook: Blue 20!

683
00:28:01,246 --> 00:28:02,413
Blue 20!

684
00:28:03,248 --> 00:28:04,381
Set, hut!

685
00:28:05,650 --> 00:28:07,317
<i> ¶ ¶</i>

686
00:28:20,398 --> 00:28:21,331
(laughs)

687
00:28:26,604 --> 00:28:27,438
You love walk-on day now?

688
00:28:28,206 --> 00:28:29,039
(Groans)

689
00:28:31,643 --> 00:28:32,876
Your arm all right?
You want to take
that sleeve off?

690
00:28:35,213 --> 00:28:36,380
No, I'm good.

691
00:28:38,316 --> 00:28:40,684
Dude, holy shit, bro.
Great fucking catch, dude.

692
00:28:40,686 --> 00:28:44,455
If you see that
safety line up that deep,
though, hit me quicker.

693
00:28:44,457 --> 00:28:46,356
Oh, yeah, I didn't know
you had wheels
like that, bro.

694
00:28:46,358 --> 00:28:48,058
It's funny, 'cause
he's my brother. So...

695
00:28:48,626 --> 00:28:50,194
Um...

696
00:28:50,196 --> 00:28:53,931
Hey, uh, you know, we have
this rush party at zeta.

697
00:28:53,933 --> 00:28:56,800
but I thought, you know,
you could come by
and meet the guys.

698
00:28:56,802 --> 00:28:58,302
It'd be really fun,
I think.

699
00:28:58,304 --> 00:28:59,436
Great.
Yeah, maybe we will.

700
00:29:00,972 --> 00:29:02,606
Are you guys,
like, together?

701
00:29:02,608 --> 00:29:04,508
Yeah.
Yeah, this is my bro.

702
00:29:04,510 --> 00:29:07,044
(Laughing) That's...
Funny, dude. You're funny.

703
00:29:07,512 --> 00:29:09,012
Oh.

704
00:29:09,014 --> 00:29:10,714
Uh, really?
Wow. Um, okay.

705
00:29:10,716 --> 00:29:12,483
Yeah, man, sure.
You, too, you can come, too.

706
00:29:12,485 --> 00:29:13,917
We'll see what we can do.

707
00:29:13,919 --> 00:29:15,052
Also, I said
a bunch of stuff earlier

708
00:29:15,054 --> 00:29:16,186
that you didn't
acknowledge...

709
00:29:16,188 --> 00:29:18,055
Great catch.
Cool, yeah.

710
00:29:18,057 --> 00:29:19,156
See you then.
So you won't
address that?

711
00:29:19,158 --> 00:29:20,624
What the fuck's up
with that guy?

712
00:29:20,626 --> 00:29:22,526
All we have to do now
is rush the frat
long enough

713
00:29:22,528 --> 00:29:25,295
to confirm that
rooster has that
bazooka tattoo.

714
00:29:25,297 --> 00:29:27,364
Look, man, do you think
it's cool if you come?

715
00:29:27,366 --> 00:29:29,533
'Cause, I mean, he kind of
really just asked me.

716
00:29:29,535 --> 00:29:30,601
I just don't want
to start off

717
00:29:30,603 --> 00:29:31,301
on the wrong foot
with this guy.

718
00:29:31,770 --> 00:29:33,637
(Laughs)

719
00:29:33,639 --> 00:29:36,206
Dude, you're tripping.
We do everything together.

720
00:29:36,208 --> 00:29:37,841
You should lose
the puka shells, though.

721
00:29:37,843 --> 00:29:40,210
Things are different
since you didn't
go to college.

722
00:29:40,212 --> 00:29:41,678
(Music playing)

723
00:29:41,680 --> 00:29:43,347
Yo, Brad!
What's up, dude?

724
00:29:44,315 --> 00:29:45,716
Same puka, dude.

725
00:29:45,718 --> 00:29:47,017
You got the same...
Puka bros.

726
00:29:47,019 --> 00:29:48,252
Zook: Holy shit!
(Both laughing)

727
00:29:49,354 --> 00:29:50,454
Look at him,
it's, like, all the same.

728
00:29:50,456 --> 00:29:51,955
Dude, you wear pants, too?

729
00:29:51,957 --> 00:29:54,024
What? Bros, man.
Dude.

730
00:29:54,026 --> 00:29:55,626
I knew we were gonna be
connected, just like that.

731
00:29:55,628 --> 00:29:57,094
Yeah, why don't you guys
just tie your dicks together

732
00:29:57,096 --> 00:29:57,895
and get married,
right, rooster?

733
00:29:57,897 --> 00:29:59,930
Rooster. What's up, bro?

734
00:29:59,932 --> 00:30:01,431
You look good, man.

735
00:30:01,433 --> 00:30:02,766
What's up, rooster?

736
00:30:02,768 --> 00:30:04,434
How you doing, man?
Digging the puka.

737
00:30:04,436 --> 00:30:05,769
Thanks, dude. I can't
believe it's the same...

738
00:30:05,771 --> 00:30:07,070
How you doing,
rooster?

739
00:30:07,072 --> 00:30:08,205
Rooster is
getting some pop.

740
00:30:08,207 --> 00:30:09,139
Why don't you
go check him out?

741
00:30:13,478 --> 00:30:14,545
Jenko: You in the zone, bro?
Zook: In the fucking zone,
dude.

742
00:30:15,380 --> 00:30:16,346
(Imitating explosions)

743
00:30:19,551 --> 00:30:20,951
Hey. What's up?

744
00:30:21,719 --> 00:30:22,920
What's up? I'm rooster.

745
00:30:22,922 --> 00:30:24,755
Oh, yeah, no.

746
00:30:24,757 --> 00:30:26,089
We've met before.

747
00:30:26,091 --> 00:30:27,524
Oh, really? I don't
remember that at all.

748
00:30:27,526 --> 00:30:29,459
You must just have
a really plain face.

749
00:30:29,461 --> 00:30:31,261
Yeah. They call me
ol' plain face.

750
00:30:31,963 --> 00:30:33,564
They call you that?

751
00:30:33,566 --> 00:30:36,600
So, do you have any body art
or, like, any ink I could see?

752
00:30:36,602 --> 00:30:38,602
That's a pretty
random question.

753
00:30:38,604 --> 00:30:41,071
Hey, anyway, it was so nice
chatting with you, man.

754
00:30:41,073 --> 00:30:42,406
Nice to meet you, man.

755
00:30:42,408 --> 00:30:43,440
Yo, what the fuck, bro?

756
00:30:43,442 --> 00:30:44,641
Yo, what the fuck
are you doing, dude?

757
00:30:44,643 --> 00:30:45,676
You serious
right now?
You...

758
00:30:45,678 --> 00:30:47,044
You're being weird.

759
00:30:48,379 --> 00:30:49,246
You've been weird.

760
00:30:51,082 --> 00:30:53,684
Jenko: It was just like,
"what am I hearing?

761
00:30:53,686 --> 00:30:54,918
"What am I hearing
right now?"

762
00:30:54,920 --> 00:30:55,919
And the psychic
told you that?

763
00:30:55,921 --> 00:30:57,521
Yo.
That is so crazy, dude.

764
00:30:57,523 --> 00:30:59,189
Hey, dude, you want to
go see the roof?

765
00:30:59,191 --> 00:31:00,557
Fuck yeah, I want to
see the roof, dude.

766
00:31:00,559 --> 00:31:02,226
Come on, let's go,
let's go. Come on.

767
00:31:02,228 --> 00:31:03,093
Come on to the roof,
come on to the roof.
Let's go.

768
00:31:08,533 --> 00:31:10,234
Jenko: Come on, you can do it.
Come on, come on, come on!

769
00:31:10,236 --> 00:31:11,335
(Laughing)

770
00:31:13,004 --> 00:31:15,472
I miss climbing so much.
Come on, let's go. Come on.

771
00:31:15,474 --> 00:31:16,540
All right, uh...

772
00:31:21,679 --> 00:31:23,080
One more time.

773
00:31:23,082 --> 00:31:25,015
I'm just gonna go home.

774
00:31:25,017 --> 00:31:26,283
I don't know parkour, so...

775
00:31:27,452 --> 00:31:28,285
All right.

776
00:31:33,491 --> 00:31:35,025
Hey, Maya angelou!

777
00:31:35,526 --> 00:31:36,960
(Laughs)

778
00:31:36,962 --> 00:31:39,496
Poetry, okay.
I got it. (Chuckles)

779
00:31:39,498 --> 00:31:40,564
Make fun
of the poetry major.

780
00:31:42,033 --> 00:31:43,533
So, I guess you have
no interest

781
00:31:43,535 --> 00:31:45,168
in having a real job
in the future.

782
00:31:45,170 --> 00:31:47,371
Absolutely not.
No, right?

783
00:31:47,373 --> 00:31:49,773
(Both laugh)
What about you?

784
00:31:49,775 --> 00:31:52,142
Um, I'm an art major.

785
00:31:52,144 --> 00:31:55,245
Okay. So you definitely
cannot talk any shit,
'cause...

786
00:31:55,247 --> 00:31:57,281
No, I can't. I cannot.

787
00:31:57,283 --> 00:31:58,181
...you're never gonna
make any money. (Laughs)

788
00:31:58,183 --> 00:32:00,183
I'm never gonna
make any money,

789
00:32:00,185 --> 00:32:02,119
so don't tell
my parents, but...

790
00:32:02,121 --> 00:32:03,320
When I talk to
your parents tonight,

791
00:32:03,322 --> 00:32:05,155
I will not tell them
about your major.

792
00:32:05,157 --> 00:32:06,757
Okay, thank you.
You're welcome.

793
00:32:06,759 --> 00:32:08,191
All right, art major.

794
00:32:09,027 --> 00:32:10,961
What do you
think about that?

795
00:32:12,931 --> 00:32:15,666
Um, I would say that

796
00:32:17,101 --> 00:32:20,070
it's these two beings

797
00:32:20,072 --> 00:32:22,940
leaning up
against each other
in perfect balance.

798
00:32:22,942 --> 00:32:25,609
If one were to fall,
they would just
lose each other.

799
00:32:26,577 --> 00:32:28,679
So it's just
about support.

800
00:32:30,882 --> 00:32:33,483
You can't admit
that it looks
exactly like testicles?

801
00:32:35,253 --> 00:32:37,120
(Laughing) That's exactly
what it looks like.

802
00:32:40,224 --> 00:32:42,893
So, is there someone
who supports you?

803
00:32:42,895 --> 00:32:44,394
No, I'm just
one of those people

804
00:32:44,396 --> 00:32:46,563
that really likes to
spend time with myself.

805
00:32:47,665 --> 00:32:50,033
Tell me about it.

806
00:32:50,035 --> 00:32:53,370
I love to be alone.
I am, like,
the best at it.

807
00:32:53,372 --> 00:32:56,373
I just love when you're
sitting there in a room,

808
00:32:56,375 --> 00:32:57,975
and you're just there
with your thoughts,

809
00:32:57,977 --> 00:33:00,043
and you're like,
"oh, my gosh, I'm alone.

810
00:33:00,045 --> 00:33:01,845
"Would anyone ever
love me?" Or whatever.

811
00:33:01,847 --> 00:33:04,614
And, like, "do I know
anyone who would care

812
00:33:04,616 --> 00:33:06,717
"if I just ever came out
of this room or not?"

813
00:33:06,719 --> 00:33:08,352
Or whatever and, like...

814
00:33:08,354 --> 00:33:09,519
I don't know.
It's just peaceful.
I just like it.

815
00:33:09,521 --> 00:33:11,154
Yeah.

816
00:33:11,156 --> 00:33:13,090
Well, if you don't want
to be alone tonight,

817
00:33:13,092 --> 00:33:14,358
we are gonna go hang out
at the art building,

818
00:33:14,959 --> 00:33:16,526
if you want to come.

819
00:33:17,095 --> 00:33:18,562
Okay, okay.

820
00:33:19,731 --> 00:33:21,631
Okay. Okay.

821
00:33:21,633 --> 00:33:23,533
(Music playing)

822
00:33:23,535 --> 00:33:24,735
(Cheering)

823
00:33:28,106 --> 00:33:30,107
I expected tonight
would go in a way that
you wouldn't expect,

824
00:33:30,109 --> 00:33:31,508
but what I didn't expect
was tonight would go

825
00:33:31,510 --> 00:33:33,443
in the exact way
that you would expect.

826
00:33:33,445 --> 00:33:36,413
You know what I mean?
Totally.

827
00:33:36,415 --> 00:33:38,248
So you guys
hang out here a lot?

828
00:33:38,250 --> 00:33:40,717
Yeah. I mean,
we're not into the whole
frat party kind of stuff.

829
00:33:40,719 --> 00:33:42,452
We like to sit around,
just drink some good wine

830
00:33:42,454 --> 00:33:44,454
and talk about
some important stuff.

831
00:33:44,456 --> 00:33:48,558
Banging bitches
and getting wasted
all fucking day.

832
00:33:48,560 --> 00:33:50,660
Those are, like, two of
my favorite things to do.

833
00:33:50,662 --> 00:33:53,296
You are, like,
a slightly less
attractive version of...

834
00:33:53,298 --> 00:33:54,464
Picasso?
Picasso.

835
00:33:54,466 --> 00:33:55,532
Right? I've been
told that before.

836
00:33:55,534 --> 00:33:56,333
You read my mind.

837
00:33:58,069 --> 00:33:59,102
(Laughing) What?

838
00:33:59,837 --> 00:34:01,038
(All exclaiming)

839
00:34:06,677 --> 00:34:07,778
(All cheering)

840
00:34:16,521 --> 00:34:18,321
(Sighs)

841
00:34:18,323 --> 00:34:20,257
Oh, that's
Cynthia Watson's room.

842
00:34:20,992 --> 00:34:22,526
Oh.

843
00:34:22,528 --> 00:34:26,063
It's only 2:00.
I thought it was late.
Do you want to come in?

844
00:34:26,065 --> 00:34:29,332
It's only 2:00?
I usually go to dinner at,
like, 2:00 A.M., so...

845
00:34:29,334 --> 00:34:30,834
Sure, yeah, why not?

846
00:34:34,205 --> 00:34:35,839
Rooster: I'm gonna do it.
I just got to get it
at the right angle.

847
00:34:36,874 --> 00:34:38,375
(Groans)

848
00:34:38,377 --> 00:34:40,277
Dude, stop.
Rooster:
Stupid fucking goalpost!

849
00:34:40,279 --> 00:34:42,712
It's impossible.
You can't fucking do it.

850
00:34:42,714 --> 00:34:44,848
The fans used to
rush the field

851
00:34:44,850 --> 00:34:46,483
after every win
and tear down
the goalposts,

852
00:34:46,485 --> 00:34:49,052
and coach hated it.
And so he cemented
them in.

853
00:34:49,054 --> 00:34:50,454
They storm the field,
and still do it,

854
00:34:50,456 --> 00:34:52,222
but they just
bounce around.

855
00:34:52,224 --> 00:34:53,557
Rooster: Fuck
this goalpost, bro!

856
00:34:53,559 --> 00:34:54,858
You guys might
want to hold on,

857
00:34:54,860 --> 00:34:57,427
'cause this shit
is coming down.

858
00:34:57,895 --> 00:34:59,429
(Bellowing)

859
00:35:01,532 --> 00:35:04,534
Yo, what is that?
The tattoo, what's that
right there?

860
00:35:04,536 --> 00:35:06,069
Oh. Oh, this?
Mmm-hmm.

861
00:35:06,071 --> 00:35:09,706
It's my old high school team.
The plainview red herrings.

862
00:35:09,708 --> 00:35:10,474
Look at it swim.

863
00:35:12,343 --> 00:35:14,678
Shit.
What?

864
00:35:14,680 --> 00:35:16,580
Shit, that's a really
outside-of-the-box

865
00:35:17,715 --> 00:35:18,515
high school mascot.

866
00:35:18,916 --> 00:35:20,383
Hold on, guys.

867
00:35:23,454 --> 00:35:25,755
Zook: Hey, why don't you
come to practice today?

868
00:35:25,757 --> 00:35:27,624
I mean,
you're obviously good enough
to play on the team.

869
00:35:28,860 --> 00:35:30,760
Look, I'm not
supposed to be here
to play football.

870
00:35:30,762 --> 00:35:32,462
What?

871
00:35:32,464 --> 00:35:34,464
I'm just here to
do my assignments

872
00:35:34,466 --> 00:35:36,366
and get out,
that's it.

873
00:35:36,368 --> 00:35:38,768
I mean, yeah, school's
important or whatever,

874
00:35:38,770 --> 00:35:41,705
but when I was
throwing you those passes,

875
00:35:41,707 --> 00:35:43,874
it was like I knew
where you were gonna be
before you went there.

876
00:35:45,209 --> 00:35:47,344
You know, I had this,
like, vision of me

877
00:35:47,346 --> 00:35:50,547
throwing bullet tds
to you, dude,

878
00:35:50,549 --> 00:35:52,916
and then all these fans
just started going, like...

879
00:35:52,918 --> 00:35:54,317
(Quiet screaming)

880
00:35:54,319 --> 00:35:56,319
"Zook! Mcquaid!
Zook! Mcquaid!"

881
00:35:56,321 --> 00:35:58,355
And they were
chanting and chanting,

882
00:35:58,357 --> 00:36:00,290
and then
the goalposts came down.

883
00:36:00,791 --> 00:36:02,893
Dude?

884
00:36:02,895 --> 00:36:05,829
I have had that exact vision,
like, my entire life.

885
00:36:07,098 --> 00:36:09,099
Dude.
Dude.

886
00:36:09,101 --> 00:36:10,800
Bro?
Bro.

887
00:36:10,802 --> 00:36:12,369
Dude.
Bro.

888
00:36:12,371 --> 00:36:13,370
Both: Dude.

889
00:36:14,705 --> 00:36:16,506
Like, well,
we fucking can, bro.

890
00:36:16,508 --> 00:36:17,541
All you gotta do
is join the team.

891
00:36:21,412 --> 00:36:22,846
Yeah. Why not?

892
00:36:22,848 --> 00:36:24,281
Yes!

893
00:36:24,283 --> 00:36:26,449
Fuck yeah, dude.
Fuck yeah, dude.

894
00:36:27,318 --> 00:36:28,485
What's that?

895
00:36:28,487 --> 00:36:29,452
My tattoo.

896
00:36:29,454 --> 00:36:31,254
Yeah, fuck, look.

897
00:36:31,256 --> 00:36:34,391
Look, it's me, zook.

898
00:36:34,393 --> 00:36:37,294
Got a fucking
bazooka for an arm.
Know what I mean?

899
00:36:37,296 --> 00:36:38,461
(Imitates explosion)

900
00:36:39,163 --> 00:36:40,330
(Sighs)

901
00:36:41,999 --> 00:36:43,466
Dude,
I'm so fucking pumped

902
00:36:43,468 --> 00:36:44,868
you're gonna be on
this fucking team, bro.

903
00:36:44,870 --> 00:36:45,902
(Both chuckle)

904
00:36:45,904 --> 00:36:46,870
Yep.

905
00:36:52,376 --> 00:36:53,677
What's up with it?

906
00:36:53,679 --> 00:36:54,778
(Snorts)

907
00:36:54,780 --> 00:36:55,845
How you doing?

908
00:36:55,847 --> 00:36:57,214
Hi. Good.

909
00:36:57,882 --> 00:36:59,449
How was the, um...

910
00:36:59,451 --> 00:37:01,384
(Breathes deeply)

911
00:37:01,386 --> 00:37:02,719
How was the sex for you?

912
00:37:02,721 --> 00:37:04,955
It was fun for me.
It was a good time.

913
00:37:06,190 --> 00:37:07,290
Yeah, right.

914
00:37:07,292 --> 00:37:08,225
I enjoyed it.

915
00:37:08,227 --> 00:37:09,426
Yeah.

916
00:37:10,595 --> 00:37:11,695
This is why
I don't drink.

917
00:37:12,463 --> 00:37:13,496
Oh.

918
00:37:13,498 --> 00:37:15,298
Hey. How you doing?

919
00:37:15,300 --> 00:37:17,334
I'm fine.

920
00:37:17,336 --> 00:37:19,803
I mean, I'm not
listening to you guys
fornicate all night long.

921
00:37:19,805 --> 00:37:20,904
Thrusting and pumping.

922
00:37:20,906 --> 00:37:22,606
Okay.

923
00:37:22,608 --> 00:37:24,841
I thought your hip
popped out at one point.

924
00:37:24,843 --> 00:37:26,676
I'm just saying, it's,
like, all fun and games,

925
00:37:26,678 --> 00:37:28,878
and then you wake up
in bed next to
a 40-year-old freshman.

926
00:37:29,413 --> 00:37:31,414
I'm 19, so...

927
00:37:31,416 --> 00:37:34,050
Nineteen minutes late
to pinochle,

928
00:37:34,052 --> 00:37:35,652
where you're meeting
your old friends
in the park?

929
00:37:35,654 --> 00:37:37,420
Yeah,
that's what I meant.

930
00:37:37,422 --> 00:37:38,955
Oh, my gosh,
Maya, look at him.

931
00:37:38,957 --> 00:37:41,324
He's still so sharp.
That's so inspiring.

932
00:37:41,326 --> 00:37:44,060
Tell us about the war,
any one of them.

933
00:37:44,062 --> 00:37:46,496
You're, like,
the loudest climaxer
I've ever heard.

934
00:37:46,498 --> 00:37:49,666
It was, like,
the sound of, like,
a 30-year-old sprinkler

935
00:37:49,668 --> 00:37:52,068
finally going off
for the first time.

936
00:37:52,070 --> 00:37:56,439
Okay, well, so lovely
talking with you.
(Sighs)

937
00:37:56,441 --> 00:37:57,907
You're a lovely person.
Hmm.

938
00:37:58,943 --> 00:38:00,810
Nice to meet you.

939
00:38:00,812 --> 00:38:02,812
(Door opens)
(Whispering)
Oh, my God.

940
00:38:02,814 --> 00:38:04,514
She seems nice.
(Door closes)

941
00:38:04,516 --> 00:38:05,949
She's horrible.

942
00:38:07,118 --> 00:38:08,318
God.

943
00:38:08,320 --> 00:38:10,020
She was Cynthia's roommate,

944
00:38:10,022 --> 00:38:11,454
and I felt bad for her,
so I told her I would
room with her.

945
00:38:12,056 --> 00:38:13,023
So...

946
00:38:15,493 --> 00:38:17,394
So you probably
have a bunch of stuff

947
00:38:17,396 --> 00:38:18,361
that you have to do today.

948
00:38:19,130 --> 00:38:20,297
Right?
No.

949
00:38:20,299 --> 00:38:22,532
Oh. Okay.

950
00:38:22,534 --> 00:38:23,933
Look, I just
want you to know

951
00:38:23,935 --> 00:38:27,470
I'm not, like,
a "hit it and quit it"
type of fella.

952
00:38:27,472 --> 00:38:29,105
I'm, like, a "hit it,

953
00:38:29,107 --> 00:38:33,176
"continue to hit it both
physically and emotionally"
kind of guy, so...

954
00:38:33,178 --> 00:38:34,711
Hey, Doug, you're not gonna be
weird about this, are you?

955
00:38:35,980 --> 00:38:37,447
No.

956
00:38:37,449 --> 00:38:38,815
I mean, you're cool
with just hooking up?

957
00:38:38,817 --> 00:38:41,818
Yeah. I mean, no.
I mean, I'm glad
you said something.

958
00:38:41,820 --> 00:38:43,253
'Cause I don't even know
if I like you when I'm sober.

959
00:38:43,255 --> 00:38:44,521
No, I know,
and it's like,

960
00:38:44,523 --> 00:38:46,256
that doesn't even hurt,
like, at all.

961
00:38:46,258 --> 00:38:48,992
Okay, so, um...

962
00:38:48,994 --> 00:38:51,494
I'm gonna...
I'm gonna split.
I'll text you later.

963
00:38:52,630 --> 00:38:55,999
Great, that was great sex.
You're good at it.

964
00:38:56,001 --> 00:38:57,400
And I'll text you,
three to five minutes
or something?

965
00:38:57,402 --> 00:38:58,335
(Door opens)
All right.

966
00:38:58,337 --> 00:38:59,736
<i> ¶ ¶</i>

967
00:39:18,689 --> 00:39:19,723
what the fuck is this?

968
00:39:21,092 --> 00:39:23,226
This is bullshit.

969
00:39:23,228 --> 00:39:25,362
Are you two
fucking around
at school again?

970
00:39:25,364 --> 00:39:26,830
Hey, we got to
pay for this shit.

971
00:39:26,832 --> 00:39:28,631
We need results!
No, no, no.

972
00:39:28,633 --> 00:39:31,234
Look, we are
looking aggressively

973
00:39:31,236 --> 00:39:33,103
for this very
specific tattoo.

974
00:39:33,105 --> 00:39:34,704
Or the tattoo could
just be a dead end.

975
00:39:35,573 --> 00:39:37,774
What the fuck?
It's the same case!

976
00:39:38,509 --> 00:39:40,510
Do the same thing.

977
00:39:40,512 --> 00:39:42,979
Well, it's not exactly
the same case, 'cause

978
00:39:44,148 --> 00:39:45,382
one of us
got laid last night.

979
00:39:46,016 --> 00:39:47,016
Schmidt?

980
00:39:47,018 --> 00:39:48,284
Shh.

981
00:39:48,286 --> 00:39:50,186
Don't wake up my dick.

982
00:39:50,188 --> 00:39:51,988
Flew in on the red-eye,
hasn't gotten
a wink of sleep.

983
00:39:51,990 --> 00:39:53,289
Damn.

984
00:39:53,291 --> 00:39:54,791
We're talking missionary.

985
00:39:54,793 --> 00:39:57,327
We're talking missionary.

986
00:39:57,329 --> 00:40:00,397
We're talking
when I'm on top
and she's on her back.

987
00:40:02,133 --> 00:40:04,200
She's smart,
she's an art major.

988
00:40:04,202 --> 00:40:06,836
She can't be that smart.
She's a fucking art major.

989
00:40:06,838 --> 00:40:08,304
Come on.

990
00:40:08,306 --> 00:40:09,839
I will give you
some daps, schmidt.

991
00:40:09,841 --> 00:40:10,840
Give me some
motherfucking daps, man!

992
00:40:10,842 --> 00:40:12,075
Come on,
give me some.

993
00:40:12,077 --> 00:40:13,910
Give me some.
Come on!

994
00:40:13,912 --> 00:40:16,813
Jenko:
My human sexuality class
is blowing my mind.

995
00:40:16,815 --> 00:40:18,581
Did you know
I used gay slurs
in high school?

996
00:40:18,583 --> 00:40:20,683
Yes, directed at me.

997
00:40:20,685 --> 00:40:24,020
Dude, I am so sorry
for being a homophone.

998
00:40:24,022 --> 00:40:26,356
Are we gonna talk about
how weird you were
today with dickson?

999
00:40:26,358 --> 00:40:29,192
Look, I don't think
the tattoo means
what you think it means.

1000
00:40:29,194 --> 00:40:31,428
I mean, for all we know,
a lot of people
could have that tattoo.

1001
00:40:31,430 --> 00:40:34,931
This tattoo?
This absurdly
specific tattoo?

1002
00:40:34,933 --> 00:40:36,065
Name one other person
who has this.

1003
00:40:37,401 --> 00:40:39,602
For starters,
zook has it.

1004
00:40:39,604 --> 00:40:41,037
Zook has the tattoo?

1005
00:40:41,039 --> 00:40:46,242
What the fuck?
We've been looking for
this tattoo for days!

1006
00:40:46,244 --> 00:40:47,977
Do you understand
this means zook
is the dealer?

1007
00:40:47,979 --> 00:40:49,646
I really want
you guys to hang out.

1008
00:40:49,648 --> 00:40:52,782
We have hung out.
He's completely
ignored me.

1009
00:40:52,784 --> 00:40:55,585
I'm sorry,
but we're gonna have to
investigate your new bff.

1010
00:40:55,587 --> 00:40:57,153
We're gonna put
cameras everywhere,

1011
00:40:57,155 --> 00:40:58,888
and we're gonna monitor
the fuck out of
what he's doing.

1012
00:40:58,890 --> 00:41:00,223
We can't just walk
into zeta house

1013
00:41:00,225 --> 00:41:02,525
and just put up a bunch of
fucking cameras, okay?

1014
00:41:02,527 --> 00:41:04,260
There's dudes
there everywhere.

1015
00:41:04,262 --> 00:41:06,029
All right, your plan
is stupid. I'm sorry.

1016
00:41:06,031 --> 00:41:08,498
My plan is stupid?
That's interesting.
What... okay.

1017
00:41:08,500 --> 00:41:09,833
I'm, like,
basically done

1018
00:41:09,835 --> 00:41:11,434
fucking watching your shit
all the fucking time.

1019
00:41:11,436 --> 00:41:12,702
Okay, yeah, exactly.
I'm the fucking
stupid one. Yeah.

1020
00:41:12,704 --> 00:41:14,037
Oh, that's really
fucking stupid.

1021
00:41:14,039 --> 00:41:16,206
Man, it must be hard
being so different.

1022
00:41:16,208 --> 00:41:19,442
We're exactly the same.
It makes everything
so much easier.

1023
00:41:19,444 --> 00:41:21,945
Guys, can you just
give us some space?

1024
00:41:21,947 --> 00:41:23,046
We're really trying to
figure something out,

1025
00:41:23,048 --> 00:41:24,280
and we need
to focus, okay?

1026
00:41:24,282 --> 00:41:26,316
You're not gonna have
trouble focusing, man.

1027
00:41:26,318 --> 00:41:29,452
Yeah, man,
those krispie treats
got mad whyphy in them.

1028
00:41:29,454 --> 00:41:31,821
Kenny: We made a batch
for the whole dorm, man.

1029
00:41:33,524 --> 00:41:36,659
I've eaten six of these.

1030
00:41:36,661 --> 00:41:38,695
Kenny: Then you're gonna
be real focused.
Keith: Be real focused.

1031
00:41:38,697 --> 00:41:40,096
In about four hours,
you're gonna be tripping.

1032
00:41:41,799 --> 00:41:43,166
You're fine.
You're gonna be
all right, man.

1033
00:41:43,168 --> 00:41:44,567
Who sold you whyphy?

1034
00:41:44,569 --> 00:41:46,069
Nobody sold it to us.

1035
00:41:46,071 --> 00:41:47,937
Yeah, man, Cynthia
gave us a butt load,

1036
00:41:47,939 --> 00:41:50,306
and in exchange,
we wrote her
logic paper for her.

1037
00:41:50,308 --> 00:41:51,508
All right.
All right, man,
we'll see you guys later.

1038
00:41:51,510 --> 00:41:53,076
Enjoy the food.

1039
00:41:53,078 --> 00:41:54,677
Maybe this is
a good thing.
(Door closes)

1040
00:41:54,679 --> 00:41:59,148
let's use that focus
to figure out a way to
get into zook's house.

1041
00:41:59,150 --> 00:42:01,150
You feel anything?
No. Do you feel anything?

1042
00:42:01,152 --> 00:42:02,852
No, but I have a super
high tolerance for...

1043
00:42:04,955 --> 00:42:05,855
(Panting)

1044
00:42:08,292 --> 00:42:09,759
I'm so focused.

1045
00:42:09,761 --> 00:42:10,860
I'm so focused, too.

1046
00:42:14,732 --> 00:42:15,431
You don't have to
be on top of me.

1047
00:42:15,433 --> 00:42:16,733
Yes, I do.

1048
00:42:16,735 --> 00:42:18,167
Why?
Camouflage.

1049
00:42:18,169 --> 00:42:19,302
Go.

1050
00:42:22,673 --> 00:42:24,407
(Cans clattering)

1051
00:42:24,409 --> 00:42:25,675
Let's go.

1052
00:42:27,278 --> 00:42:28,678
Male student:
No fucking way.

1053
00:42:28,680 --> 00:42:31,014
Okay, so no?
Dane? All right.

1054
00:42:32,049 --> 00:42:32,882
Out, all right.

1055
00:42:39,757 --> 00:42:40,757
Bull's-eye.
Bingo.

1056
00:42:44,828 --> 00:42:46,563
That helmet
looks kind of lame.

1057
00:42:46,565 --> 00:42:48,431
You know
what's not lame?

1058
00:42:48,433 --> 00:42:49,265
Safety.

1059
00:42:50,200 --> 00:42:51,234
(Whirring)

1060
00:43:12,723 --> 00:43:13,656
What are you doing?

1061
00:43:14,224 --> 00:43:15,658
I'm cutting glass.

1062
00:43:15,660 --> 00:43:17,026
It's a laser pointer.

1063
00:43:17,028 --> 00:43:18,695
It can't cut glass.
What?

1064
00:43:22,399 --> 00:43:24,801
That's no fun at all.

1065
00:43:24,803 --> 00:43:26,269
I'm so focused.
Let's do this.

1066
00:43:26,271 --> 00:43:27,236
I'm so focused.
Let's do this.

1067
00:43:27,638 --> 00:43:29,072
(Whirring)

1068
00:43:39,550 --> 00:43:40,850
Give me another.
I don't have
any more cameras.

1069
00:43:46,957 --> 00:43:48,191
You don't need to
drill so many holes.
Yeah, okay.

1070
00:43:55,833 --> 00:43:57,934
Yeah, that one's perfect.
Okay, you can do that one.

1071
00:43:57,936 --> 00:43:58,968
I don't have
any more cameras.
I've said it five times.

1072
00:44:02,206 --> 00:44:04,374
All right. Okay.
That's the last of 'em.

1073
00:44:04,376 --> 00:44:05,675
(Beeping)

1074
00:44:05,677 --> 00:44:06,976
Time to prove that
zook's the dealer.

1075
00:44:06,978 --> 00:44:08,077
Jenko: Or not the dealer.

1076
00:44:08,079 --> 00:44:10,913
<i> Next up is Brad mcquaid.</i>

1077
00:44:10,915 --> 00:44:12,515
(All agreeing)
Right? Yes.

1078
00:44:12,517 --> 00:44:13,950
Yes!

1079
00:44:13,952 --> 00:44:15,952
Obviously, right?
I mean, the guy's...

1080
00:44:15,954 --> 00:44:18,087
The guy's all-time.
You guys, let's be honest.

1081
00:44:18,089 --> 00:44:20,590
I mean, like, he was
opening up beer cans
with his eyeballs.

1082
00:44:20,592 --> 00:44:21,624
That's so sweet of them.

1083
00:44:21,626 --> 00:44:23,493
<i> So Brad... Brad's in.</i>

1084
00:44:23,495 --> 00:44:24,694
Uh, Doug mcquaid.
No!

1085
00:44:25,396 --> 00:44:26,863
He's a bag of dicks!

1086
00:44:29,566 --> 00:44:31,034
He's Brad's brother.

1087
00:44:31,036 --> 00:44:33,069
<i> He follows him</i>
<i> around everywhere,</i>

1088
00:44:33,071 --> 00:44:35,571
<i> so I doubt we get</i>
<i> Brad without Doug.</i>

1089
00:44:35,573 --> 00:44:37,273
That's not true.
I have a serious
girlfriend.

1090
00:44:37,275 --> 00:44:39,108
<i> I got a bad feeling</i>
<i> about this guy, dude.</i>
<i> Why? Why?</i>

1091
00:44:39,110 --> 00:44:41,010
<i> I was talking to him</i>
<i> for a second.</i>

1092
00:44:41,012 --> 00:44:42,712
<i> He's got a big mouth,</i>
<i> okay?</i>

1093
00:44:42,714 --> 00:44:44,881
<i> I feel like he could fuck</i>
<i> this whole thing up for us.</i>

1094
00:44:44,883 --> 00:44:47,350
See, you're fucking this up.
You talk way too much.

1095
00:44:47,352 --> 00:44:49,686
That guy is harmless, dude.
Look at him, he's nice.

1096
00:44:49,688 --> 00:44:51,921
Rooster: He looks like
a 30-year-old
eighth grader.

1097
00:44:51,923 --> 00:44:53,122
Zook: He's gonna be fine.

1098
00:44:53,124 --> 00:44:55,291
I'm just saying,
the kid sucks.

1099
00:44:55,293 --> 00:44:58,261
Okay, and Brad.
Brad could be,
like, our guy.

1100
00:44:58,263 --> 00:45:01,064
He could, like,
be a part of our thing.

1101
00:45:01,066 --> 00:45:02,799
"Our thing"?
Yeah.

1102
00:45:02,801 --> 00:45:04,500
Shh. I'm trying to hear
them be nice about me.

1103
00:45:04,502 --> 00:45:05,902
This is fucking
bullshit. Shit!

1104
00:45:08,305 --> 00:45:09,706
Shit.

1105
00:45:09,708 --> 00:45:11,207
Is somebody up there?

1106
00:45:11,209 --> 00:45:12,642
Shit.
We got to
get out of here.

1107
00:45:12,644 --> 00:45:13,810
Did you lock the door?

1108
00:45:13,812 --> 00:45:14,944
I did, man.
I checked twice.

1109
00:45:32,329 --> 00:45:33,262
Go, go!

1110
00:45:33,897 --> 00:45:35,298
I'm so focused, dude.

1111
00:45:38,535 --> 00:45:39,769
Shit.

1112
00:45:44,042 --> 00:45:47,710
No, you're just paranoid
because we're about
to trip balls.

1113
00:45:47,712 --> 00:45:49,078
No, I'm paranoid
because it could
be dangerous.

1114
00:45:49,080 --> 00:45:50,012
No, we're fine.
Look, we made it.

1115
00:45:50,014 --> 00:45:50,980
We made it.
It's all good.

1116
00:45:52,349 --> 00:45:53,616
Schmidt: Oh, shit!

1117
00:45:53,618 --> 00:45:54,817
(Screaming)

1118
00:45:56,754 --> 00:45:57,920
Help! Help!

1119
00:45:57,922 --> 00:45:59,055
What's happening!

1120
00:45:59,057 --> 00:46:00,189
Jenko: What the fuck?

1121
00:46:03,827 --> 00:46:06,429
Jenko: (Panting)
I can't breathe.

1122
00:46:07,564 --> 00:46:09,499
They made us!

1123
00:46:09,501 --> 00:46:11,167
They're gonna kill us!

1124
00:46:13,270 --> 00:46:14,837
Jenko!

1125
00:46:14,839 --> 00:46:16,372
Where are you going?

1126
00:46:21,178 --> 00:46:24,080
Oh, fuck!
I'm having a bad trip!
We're having a bad trip!

1127
00:46:24,082 --> 00:46:26,015
I think
we are tripping, but...

1128
00:46:26,017 --> 00:46:27,483
God, isn't this great?

1129
00:46:27,485 --> 00:46:29,385
My side's so much
scarier than yours.

1130
00:46:29,387 --> 00:46:31,554
Oh, shit,
your trip sucks.

1131
00:46:31,556 --> 00:46:33,189
You should come over here.
It's way better.

1132
00:46:33,191 --> 00:46:34,290
Okay.

1133
00:46:35,893 --> 00:46:37,627
(Thud)
(Groans)

1134
00:46:37,629 --> 00:46:39,462
It's some kind of
weird split screen!

1135
00:46:39,464 --> 00:46:40,963
(Laughing)

1136
00:46:40,965 --> 00:46:42,398
Hello, football.

1137
00:46:42,400 --> 00:46:45,935
Jenko! Jenko!

1138
00:46:45,937 --> 00:46:47,804
I finally got
my lambo!

1139
00:46:48,305 --> 00:46:50,506
Hey, schmidt, look!

1140
00:46:50,508 --> 00:46:51,541
Look! Look!
(Laughing)

1141
00:46:52,209 --> 00:46:53,609
(Thunder rumbling)

1142
00:46:53,611 --> 00:46:55,077
(Dance music playing)

1143
00:46:56,313 --> 00:46:58,581
(Somber rock ballad playing)

1144
00:47:02,986 --> 00:47:04,520
My legs are tired.

1145
00:47:08,258 --> 00:47:09,992
Help! No more music!

1146
00:47:10,894 --> 00:47:12,228
You'll always be alone.

1147
00:47:12,230 --> 00:47:13,696
(Screams)

1148
00:47:13,698 --> 00:47:14,797
Hey, jenko.
What?

1149
00:47:14,799 --> 00:47:16,365
Where are you going?

1150
00:47:16,367 --> 00:47:17,466
I'm just gonna go up
for a little while, okay?

1151
00:47:17,468 --> 00:47:18,768
Stay, stay here.

1152
00:47:18,770 --> 00:47:20,570
No, I don't want to
stay here. I'm flying.
This is amazing.

1153
00:47:20,572 --> 00:47:22,305
No. God. Don't go!

1154
00:47:22,307 --> 00:47:23,372
Oh, my God.

1155
00:47:23,374 --> 00:47:24,640
No!

1156
00:47:24,642 --> 00:47:26,609
Stay here!
No, no, stop it.

1157
00:47:26,611 --> 00:47:29,245
You're dragging me down!
Why would you drag me down?

1158
00:47:29,247 --> 00:47:30,179
Please stay!
I'm flying.

1159
00:47:31,281 --> 00:47:32,648
Stay!

1160
00:47:32,650 --> 00:47:34,183
(Both screaming)

1161
00:47:35,786 --> 00:47:37,687
Wake up!
Get out of the car!
Shit.

1162
00:47:37,689 --> 00:47:39,555
Get out of the car!
Get on the ground!

1163
00:47:39,557 --> 00:47:40,756
On your fucking knees!

1164
00:47:40,758 --> 00:47:42,291
Get on your knees!

1165
00:47:42,293 --> 00:47:44,327
You already know,
don't you?
What?

1166
00:47:44,329 --> 00:47:45,161
Do you have
anything to say?

1167
00:47:45,163 --> 00:47:46,796
Please don't kill us.

1168
00:47:46,798 --> 00:47:48,831
If you don't have
anything to fucking say,

1169
00:47:48,833 --> 00:47:50,933
open your fucking mouth.

1170
00:47:56,506 --> 00:47:57,740
What the fuck?

1171
00:47:57,742 --> 00:47:59,175
Is that vodka?

1172
00:47:59,177 --> 00:48:01,811
Welcome to zeta,
pledges!
(Laughing)

1173
00:48:01,813 --> 00:48:03,346
Yeah, buddy!

1174
00:48:05,415 --> 00:48:11,087
Pledges, tonight,
we separate the weak
from the strong.

1175
00:48:12,856 --> 00:48:15,658
If you don't make it
through tonight,

1176
00:48:15,660 --> 00:48:17,393
you're dead to all of us.

1177
00:48:18,195 --> 00:48:19,228
Rooster,

1178
00:48:19,796 --> 00:48:21,297
light the torch!

1179
00:48:22,466 --> 00:48:23,633
For zeta!

1180
00:48:25,702 --> 00:48:26,669
(All cheering)

1181
00:48:29,006 --> 00:48:31,607
All: (Chanting)
Drink, motherfucker!
Drink, motherfucker!

1182
00:48:31,609 --> 00:48:33,643
Drink, motherfucker!
Drink, motherfucker!

1183
00:48:39,783 --> 00:48:41,817
Look,
whatever happens tonight,
you have to keep up, okay?

1184
00:48:41,819 --> 00:48:43,219
I'm gonna throw up.

1185
00:48:43,221 --> 00:48:44,487
I know. Shut up. Go.

1186
00:48:45,389 --> 00:48:46,923
Zook: Ready? Go!

1187
00:48:46,925 --> 00:48:49,125
Here we go,
here we go.

1188
00:48:49,127 --> 00:48:51,427
One, two, three,
four, five...

1189
00:48:51,429 --> 00:48:53,829
I can't do it anymore!
I can't do it anymore!

1190
00:48:53,831 --> 00:48:55,031
Twenty's the record!

1191
00:48:55,033 --> 00:48:57,099
Thirty-three, 34...
(Groaning)

1192
00:48:57,668 --> 00:48:58,868
...67...

1193
00:48:58,870 --> 00:49:00,569
(All cheering)

1194
00:49:36,073 --> 00:49:37,206
You can do this,
you can do this.

1195
00:49:37,208 --> 00:49:38,307
I can't.
This is disgusting.

1196
00:49:38,309 --> 00:49:39,475
No, you got to.
I can't do this anymore!

1197
00:49:39,477 --> 00:49:41,544
And now,
for my favorite event.
(Squealing)

1198
00:49:43,013 --> 00:49:44,046
Fuck this.
I'm not doing this.

1199
00:49:44,048 --> 00:49:45,181
I'm not doing it.
What are... no!

1200
00:49:45,183 --> 00:49:47,216
I'm not doing this,
okay? All right?

1201
00:49:51,989 --> 00:49:53,289
Hey!

1202
00:49:53,291 --> 00:49:55,091
Schmidt!
What the fuck, man?

1203
00:49:55,093 --> 00:49:57,493
What is your problem?
You said you wanted
to stick together.

1204
00:49:57,495 --> 00:50:00,262
This is what we have to do
to win their trust.

1205
00:50:00,264 --> 00:50:02,765
This is supposed to be fun.
It's just drinking
and bonding games.

1206
00:50:02,767 --> 00:50:04,367
It's fun.

1207
00:50:04,369 --> 00:50:05,534
It's fun for you.
It's not fun for me.

1208
00:50:07,137 --> 00:50:09,338
I don't know.
Maybe we should just...

1209
00:50:11,141 --> 00:50:14,010
Maybe we should
just investigate
different people.

1210
00:50:15,779 --> 00:50:18,447
Did you really
just say that?

1211
00:50:18,449 --> 00:50:20,383
Did you really just say
that you want to
investigate other people?

1212
00:50:20,385 --> 00:50:21,751
That's what you want?

1213
00:50:21,753 --> 00:50:23,652
I don't know, maybe.

1214
00:50:23,654 --> 00:50:26,355
Maybe we should just...
We should just branch out.

1215
00:50:26,357 --> 00:50:28,224
Okay, just sow
our oats a little.

1216
00:50:28,859 --> 00:50:30,393
Sow our cop oats.

1217
00:50:30,395 --> 00:50:32,061
Look, I have
an in with zook.

1218
00:50:32,063 --> 00:50:33,996
We have a thing
and it's good, and...

1219
00:50:33,998 --> 00:50:36,399
I don't know,
maybe I should just
stay closer to him.

1220
00:50:36,401 --> 00:50:38,300
And you should
do your thing

1221
00:50:38,302 --> 00:50:40,603
with your connections
and channels

1222
00:50:41,405 --> 00:50:42,938
with Cynthia's roommate.

1223
00:50:42,940 --> 00:50:45,074
You should see if she knows
who sold her drugs.

1224
00:50:45,776 --> 00:50:47,510
I just...
I just don't...

1225
00:50:49,079 --> 00:50:52,448
I don't like the idea
of us doing stuff separately.

1226
00:50:52,450 --> 00:50:54,517
No, look, we can
still investigate

1227
00:50:55,118 --> 00:50:57,219
together.

1228
00:50:57,221 --> 00:51:00,656
It's just, you know,
now it'll be an open thing.

1229
00:51:02,159 --> 00:51:03,893
You want
an open investigation?

1230
00:51:03,895 --> 00:51:06,328
I don't know if
that's what I want.

1231
00:51:06,330 --> 00:51:09,498
All right? I just think
it's healthy right now
for us to try it.

1232
00:51:12,169 --> 00:51:13,269
Okay.

1233
00:51:14,104 --> 00:51:17,039
Yeah?
Sure.

1234
00:51:17,041 --> 00:51:18,808
Okay, so I guess
I'll just catch
you later, then.

1235
00:51:23,447 --> 00:51:25,481
You okay?

1236
00:51:25,483 --> 00:51:27,450
No, you can't
hug me right now.

1237
00:51:27,452 --> 00:51:29,051
Do you need money
for a cab or anything?

1238
00:51:29,053 --> 00:51:31,587
No, I don't need money
for a cab.

1239
00:51:32,589 --> 00:51:33,589
Okay.

1240
00:51:42,699 --> 00:51:45,201
I don't know where
the fuck I am right now.

1241
00:51:50,140 --> 00:51:51,507
Hey, Lauren.

1242
00:51:52,843 --> 00:51:56,846
I just want to get in bed
and watch <i> friends</i> all day.

1243
00:51:56,848 --> 00:52:00,850
Announcer: <i> Let's hear it</i>
<i> for your metropolitan</i>
<i> city state statesmen!</i>

1244
00:52:00,852 --> 00:52:02,351
(All cheering)

1245
00:52:02,353 --> 00:52:04,253
Bob: <i> And the statesmen</i>
<i> take the field</i>

1246
00:52:04,255 --> 00:52:07,323
<i> for the opening game</i>
<i> against the university</i>
<i> of college generals.</i>

1247
00:52:07,824 --> 00:52:09,058
Man: Ready?

1248
00:52:09,060 --> 00:52:10,493
Jim: <i> And a surprise</i>
<i> start today</i>

1249
00:52:10,495 --> 00:52:12,761
<i> for walk-on freshman</i>
<i> Brad mcquaid.</i>

1250
00:52:12,763 --> 00:52:14,163
Bob: <i> Looks pretty old</i>
<i> to be a freshman.</i>

1251
00:52:14,165 --> 00:52:15,064
<i> It's the hormones</i>
<i> in the milk, Bob.</i>

1252
00:52:15,066 --> 00:52:16,565
Ready? Set, hut!

1253
00:52:18,235 --> 00:52:19,635
Bob:
<i> Haythe drops back.</i>

1254
00:52:21,238 --> 00:52:22,204
<i> And connects</i>
<i> with mcquaid!</i>

1255
00:52:22,206 --> 00:52:24,507
(Grunts)

1256
00:52:24,509 --> 00:52:27,877
<i> Who beats safety</i>
<i> will glock like an egg white</i>
<i> in my famous meringue recipe.</i>

1257
00:52:30,847 --> 00:52:32,414
Holy shit, he's good.

1258
00:52:32,416 --> 00:52:35,651
None of you tell mcquaid
that he's good, all right?

1259
00:52:35,653 --> 00:52:38,821
If you do, he'll leave
this shitty program.

1260
00:52:38,823 --> 00:52:41,724
Bob: <i> And as the clock</i>
<i> ticks down, we've got time</i>
<i> for one last play.</i>

1261
00:52:45,562 --> 00:52:49,098
<i> Another perfect hookup</i>
<i> between haythe and mcquaid.</i>

1262
00:52:49,100 --> 00:52:51,367
Jim: <i> Even their</i>
<i> end zone celebration</i>
<i> is in perfect sync.</i>

1263
00:52:51,369 --> 00:52:53,769
<i> It's like these two</i>
<i> share a single brain, Bob.</i>

1264
00:52:53,771 --> 00:52:56,305
<i> That's right, Jim.</i>
<i> They both have</i>
<i> one half a brain.</i>

1265
00:52:56,307 --> 00:52:57,706
<i> And the crowd</i>
<i> rushes the field</i>

1266
00:52:57,708 --> 00:52:59,375
<i> to try and knock down</i>
<i> a goalpost.</i>

1267
00:52:59,377 --> 00:53:00,509
It's not coming down!

1268
00:53:01,711 --> 00:53:03,112
(All cheering)

1269
00:53:03,114 --> 00:53:04,446
Bob: (Chuckling)
<i> Good luck, guys.</i>

1270
00:53:04,448 --> 00:53:06,715
Jim: <i> Looks like mc state's</i>
<i> got a new power couple.</i>

1271
00:53:06,717 --> 00:53:08,184
<i> Zook and mcquaid!</i>

1272
00:53:11,021 --> 00:53:12,454
I got to get
around you, man.

1273
00:53:12,456 --> 00:53:14,857
I can't jump up.
I got a broken ankle.

1274
00:53:17,827 --> 00:53:19,428
(Both grunting)

1275
00:53:19,930 --> 00:53:20,863
<i> Yeah!</i>

1276
00:53:22,098 --> 00:53:24,466
Both: <i> Fuck yes!</i>

1277
00:53:24,468 --> 00:53:25,968
<i> Yeah!</i>
<i> One more!</i>

1278
00:53:28,104 --> 00:53:28,804
(Cell phone buzzing)
Shit.

1279
00:53:31,508 --> 00:53:32,641
(Sighs)
Who is that?

1280
00:53:32,643 --> 00:53:33,576
Nothing.
All right, ready?

1281
00:53:34,978 --> 00:53:36,245
Zook: <i> Come on!</i>

1282
00:53:36,247 --> 00:53:37,479
<i> Focus!</i>

1283
00:53:39,783 --> 00:53:41,250
(Both grunting)

1284
00:53:47,090 --> 00:53:48,724
<i> Come on!</i>
<i> Do it!</i>

1285
00:53:48,726 --> 00:53:50,226
<i> Fuck you,</i>
<i> Arnold Schwarzenegger!</i>

1286
00:53:50,228 --> 00:53:51,794
<i> I'm so jammed!</i>
<i> Fuck you!</i>

1287
00:53:51,796 --> 00:53:53,729
(Knocking on door)
There's a sock on the door!
Don't come in!

1288
00:53:53,731 --> 00:53:55,164
<i> Fuck, yeah!</i>

1289
00:53:55,166 --> 00:53:56,665
I'm having sex
with a human woman.

1290
00:53:56,667 --> 00:53:58,267
<i> My God! Fuck!</i>

1291
00:54:03,373 --> 00:54:04,807
Hey!
Look at you!

1292
00:54:04,809 --> 00:54:05,975
What are you guys
doing here?

1293
00:54:05,977 --> 00:54:07,977
What? Are you kidding?
It's parents weekend.

1294
00:54:07,979 --> 00:54:09,545
(Whispers) Fuck.

1295
00:54:09,547 --> 00:54:12,014
Wonderful.
You're dating someone.

1296
00:54:12,016 --> 00:54:15,050
Thanks, mom. Listen,
we're undercover, okay?

1297
00:54:15,052 --> 00:54:15,718
Thank you.
No problem.

1298
00:54:16,987 --> 00:54:17,886
Doug!

1299
00:54:18,255 --> 00:54:19,755
Maya!

1300
00:54:19,757 --> 00:54:20,656
Hey.
Hi.

1301
00:54:21,391 --> 00:54:22,625
These are my parents.

1302
00:54:22,627 --> 00:54:24,593
So this is the girl?

1303
00:54:24,595 --> 00:54:26,729
Hi. I'm Annie. I'm your
new mother-in-law.
(Laughs)

1304
00:54:28,498 --> 00:54:30,099
Nice to meet you.
Worst thing to say.

1305
00:54:30,101 --> 00:54:31,400
Hi.
Hey. David.

1306
00:54:31,402 --> 00:54:32,334
My dad.
Nice to meet you.

1307
00:54:33,103 --> 00:54:34,536
Well, my parents
are here, too.

1308
00:54:34,538 --> 00:54:36,739
Dickson:
Maya, hurry up!

1309
00:54:36,741 --> 00:54:39,008
Your mama done
found a table she want.

1310
00:54:45,982 --> 00:54:47,750
How do you
know this person?

1311
00:54:47,752 --> 00:54:50,352
Dad, this is Doug,
a guy that I'm dating.

1312
00:54:50,354 --> 00:54:52,588
The fuck?
I...

1313
00:54:52,590 --> 00:54:54,723
How's your classes
going, Doug?

1314
00:54:54,725 --> 00:54:57,459
You... we were just in
the neighborhood, and...

1315
00:54:57,461 --> 00:54:58,560
I have an idea.
Why don't we all
sit together?

1316
00:54:58,562 --> 00:54:59,895
Would that be fun?

1317
00:54:59,897 --> 00:55:01,063
Yes, thank you.

1318
00:55:02,098 --> 00:55:03,699
(Music playing quietly)

1319
00:55:15,879 --> 00:55:17,279
So...

1320
00:55:17,281 --> 00:55:18,847
Do you like weather?

1321
00:55:20,417 --> 00:55:22,217
You two know
each other?

1322
00:55:22,219 --> 00:55:23,686
No.

1323
00:55:23,688 --> 00:55:25,521
This is crazy,
all these, uh,

1324
00:55:26,790 --> 00:55:28,791
students and parents.

1325
00:55:30,093 --> 00:55:31,026
Potential witnesses.

1326
00:55:32,395 --> 00:55:33,595
How did you two meet?

1327
00:55:33,597 --> 00:55:35,698
Oh, I love
meet-cute stories.

1328
00:55:35,700 --> 00:55:37,666
We met at
a poetry slam,

1329
00:55:37,668 --> 00:55:39,868
and then he stalked me
back to my dorm room.

1330
00:55:39,870 --> 00:55:42,004
Stalked her?
Oh, that's so beautiful.

1331
00:55:42,006 --> 00:55:43,305
Then what happened?

1332
00:55:43,307 --> 00:55:45,407
And then we hung out
and we watched a movie.

1333
00:55:46,376 --> 00:55:49,011
Actually,
we watched it
a couple times.

1334
00:55:50,547 --> 00:55:52,548
This is bullshit!

1335
00:55:52,550 --> 00:55:54,283
This fucking... waiter!

1336
00:55:54,285 --> 00:55:56,885
What can a black man do
to get some water
around here?

1337
00:55:56,887 --> 00:55:58,487
Give the fucking guy
some water!

1338
00:55:58,489 --> 00:56:00,489
He's black!
He's been through a lot!

1339
00:56:00,491 --> 00:56:03,459
For the sake
of your daughter,
please keep it together.

1340
00:56:03,461 --> 00:56:04,993
I'm gonna need
a motherfucking crepe
before I go crazy.

1341
00:56:06,196 --> 00:56:08,530
I'll be right back.

1342
00:56:08,532 --> 00:56:11,633
So, where are you
from originally?

1343
00:56:11,635 --> 00:56:12,768
I'm straight
outta Compton,

1344
00:56:14,371 --> 00:56:16,338
but my husband's
from northridge.

1345
00:56:16,340 --> 00:56:18,073
Come on, man,
hook me up.

1346
00:56:20,310 --> 00:56:22,378
What the fuck y'all doing?
Y'all rationing around here?

1347
00:56:22,380 --> 00:56:24,213
Come on, hook me up.
Two little fucking
string beans?

1348
00:56:24,215 --> 00:56:26,582
Give me the goddamn
string beans.

1349
00:56:26,584 --> 00:56:28,450
I want some
fucking deviled eggs.

1350
00:56:28,452 --> 00:56:29,818
I like fruit.
Don't you like fruit?

1351
00:56:30,353 --> 00:56:31,820
I like fruit.

1352
00:56:31,822 --> 00:56:33,989
But this pork shit?
Got to go!

1353
00:56:33,991 --> 00:56:35,424
He's really taking it out
on the omelet bar.

1354
00:56:35,426 --> 00:56:36,859
Shit was nasty!

1355
00:56:36,861 --> 00:56:38,594
He's under a lot
of pressure at work.

1356
00:56:38,596 --> 00:56:40,429
What's up, playa?
Want to go
to the movies?

1357
00:56:40,431 --> 00:56:43,332
I'll break your
motherfucking legs!
Break your legs!

1358
00:56:43,334 --> 00:56:44,700
(Clattering)

1359
00:56:44,702 --> 00:56:46,335
What?

1360
00:56:46,337 --> 00:56:48,670
How you doing, Mr. nice plant?
Get your fucking ass in there.

1361
00:56:48,672 --> 00:56:49,972
(Upbeat music playing)

1362
00:56:51,875 --> 00:56:53,475
(All cheering)

1363
00:56:56,646 --> 00:56:58,080
Hey, you want another beer?
I'm gonna get another beer.

1364
00:56:58,082 --> 00:56:59,882
Yeah, yeah,
I'll do another.

1365
00:57:17,000 --> 00:57:18,133
Hey, look, man,

1366
00:57:18,135 --> 00:57:19,668
you know you can
always tell me something

1367
00:57:19,670 --> 00:57:21,036
if you want to get
it off your chest.

1368
00:57:21,038 --> 00:57:21,837
You know I'm always
here for you, right?

1369
00:57:24,374 --> 00:57:25,374
What are you trying to say?

1370
00:57:25,376 --> 00:57:26,475
No, nothing.

1371
00:57:29,779 --> 00:57:32,347
All right, with everything
that happened

1372
00:57:32,349 --> 00:57:33,649
with Cynthia and whyphy,

1373
00:57:35,518 --> 00:57:36,485
I just don't want you
to screw up.

1374
00:57:37,654 --> 00:57:40,322
You don't think I know
what I'm doing?

1375
00:57:40,324 --> 00:57:42,057
What?
I know exactly
what I'm doing here.

1376
00:57:44,794 --> 00:57:46,328
I'm gonna tell you
something, all right?

1377
00:57:46,330 --> 00:57:47,796
Can I trust you?
Yeah, of course.

1378
00:57:53,203 --> 00:57:56,638
I have a friend who
knows a guy at umc.

1379
00:57:57,407 --> 00:57:59,374
He's a scout. It's d-I.

1380
00:57:59,376 --> 00:58:01,043
Their qb,
he's not playing well.

1381
00:58:01,045 --> 00:58:02,044
They're not happy
with the situation.

1382
00:58:02,046 --> 00:58:03,412
They want me
to make a tape.

1383
00:58:03,414 --> 00:58:05,747
And I want you to
be on it with me.

1384
00:58:09,619 --> 00:58:11,687
(Stammering) Nothing else?

1385
00:58:11,689 --> 00:58:13,555
They had five guys in
the draft last year.

1386
00:58:13,557 --> 00:58:14,823
I mean, Brad,
this could be our shot.

1387
00:58:14,825 --> 00:58:16,859
We're like
the dynamic duo, bro.

1388
00:58:16,861 --> 00:58:19,294
We're like
Batman and Robin.

1389
00:58:19,296 --> 00:58:21,196
But we're both Batman.

1390
00:58:21,198 --> 00:58:23,365
What do you want to be,
like, a stockbroker?

1391
00:58:23,367 --> 00:58:24,900
Or a cop?

1392
00:58:24,902 --> 00:58:26,768
Dude,
your ceiling is, like,

1393
00:58:27,704 --> 00:58:29,171
so high.

1394
00:58:30,240 --> 00:58:34,009
You can just
bust right...

1395
00:58:34,011 --> 00:58:36,144
Just break
right through it.
Right through it.

1396
00:58:36,146 --> 00:58:38,914
Right through it.
Right through it.

1397
00:58:38,916 --> 00:58:40,883
You really think
I could make it at umc?

1398
00:58:40,885 --> 00:58:44,219
Dude, you could make it
into the hall of fame.

1399
00:58:44,221 --> 00:58:46,121
No, dude,
come on, that's you.

1400
00:58:46,123 --> 00:58:48,590
You're gonna be in,
like, the anals of
football history.

1401
00:58:48,592 --> 00:58:51,159
Dude, you could make it
into the anals of
football history, too.

1402
00:58:52,195 --> 00:58:55,697
We're gonna have to
tear those anals up.

1403
00:58:55,699 --> 00:58:57,266
All right.
We're gonna
fucking tear it up.

1404
00:58:57,268 --> 00:58:58,100
I mean,
it's just a tape, right?

1405
00:58:59,435 --> 00:59:00,769
I fucking hate
my dad so much.

1406
00:59:00,771 --> 00:59:02,170
Do you have any idea

1407
00:59:02,172 --> 00:59:03,405
what it's like to
have a guy like that

1408
00:59:03,407 --> 00:59:05,140
telling you what
to do all the time?
(Cell phone chiming)

1409
00:59:05,142 --> 00:59:06,575
I can only imagine.

1410
00:59:06,577 --> 00:59:09,978
I just don't understand
what his problem is
with you specifically.

1411
00:59:09,980 --> 00:59:12,814
(Sighs) I don't... Jesus.
That makes no sense to me.

1412
00:59:12,816 --> 00:59:13,916
I mean, you are
a perfectly good guy.

1413
00:59:13,918 --> 00:59:15,017
You're very honest
and nice.

1414
00:59:15,019 --> 00:59:17,619
Why does my dad
have your phone number?

1415
00:59:17,621 --> 00:59:20,188
I don't know.
Maybe the school
directory or something.

1416
00:59:20,190 --> 00:59:21,557
Let's do something...

1417
00:59:21,559 --> 00:59:22,424
Let's do something
that would distract us.

1418
00:59:22,426 --> 00:59:24,059
Okay.

1419
00:59:24,061 --> 00:59:26,128
So we don't have to think
about him anymore.

1420
00:59:26,130 --> 00:59:27,729
Mmm-mmm. Mmm-mmm.

1421
00:59:27,731 --> 00:59:28,797
All right. Um...
(Clears throat)

1422
00:59:29,465 --> 00:59:30,599
Maya.

1423
00:59:32,669 --> 00:59:34,002
Is it okay
if we just talk?

1424
00:59:36,205 --> 00:59:37,105
Okay.

1425
00:59:37,473 --> 00:59:39,508
Let's talk.

1426
00:59:39,510 --> 00:59:41,276
No way.
Yeah.

1427
00:59:41,278 --> 00:59:43,278
I was Peter Pan,
but then I was,
like, late.

1428
00:59:43,280 --> 00:59:44,346
You're really close
with your brother, then.

1429
00:59:45,515 --> 00:59:47,049
It seems like.
Yeah.

1430
00:59:47,850 --> 00:59:49,284
Yeah, you know...

1431
00:59:49,286 --> 00:59:50,319
(Laughing)

1432
00:59:53,122 --> 00:59:54,823
You're a fucking
genius, dude.

1433
00:59:54,825 --> 00:59:55,924
Are you sure it's
not too much, though?
No!

1434
00:59:57,594 --> 00:59:59,595
<i> Yeah!</i>
<i> Fuck, yeah!</i>

1435
00:59:59,597 --> 01:00:01,897
All right? All right?
Yeah. Yeah.

1436
01:00:01,899 --> 01:00:03,332
All night, bro.
Come on. All night.
Yeah, I know.

1437
01:00:03,334 --> 01:00:04,800
It's gonna be
so worth it, dude.

1438
01:00:04,802 --> 01:00:06,268
It's gonna be
fucking worth it,
I promise, all right?

1439
01:00:06,270 --> 01:00:07,736
Dude, you know
what this needs?

1440
01:00:07,738 --> 01:00:09,504
Both: Another star wipe.

1441
01:00:09,506 --> 01:00:11,540
Jinx. Buy me a beer.
(Chuckling)

1442
01:00:11,542 --> 01:00:12,641
Nice twist.

1443
01:00:12,643 --> 01:00:13,742
On what?

1444
01:00:15,511 --> 01:00:17,312
Maya: I can't believe we've
been talking all night.

1445
01:00:17,314 --> 01:00:21,316
Oh, my God, it's 8:00.
I have class, actually.

1446
01:00:21,318 --> 01:00:23,418
Okay.
I...

1447
01:00:23,420 --> 01:00:26,288
Yeah, you can help yourself
to whatever you need, and...

1448
01:00:26,290 --> 01:00:27,623
All right.

1449
01:00:27,625 --> 01:00:29,524
Yeah, I'm so sorry,
this... (Chuckles)

1450
01:00:29,526 --> 01:00:30,993
I'll see you.

1451
01:00:30,995 --> 01:00:32,027
I'll see you later.

1452
01:00:32,029 --> 01:00:33,762
Okay.
Best night ever.

1453
01:00:33,764 --> 01:00:35,197
Okay. Bye.

1454
01:00:37,333 --> 01:00:38,367
Bye.

1455
01:00:39,435 --> 01:00:40,369
(Clears throat)

1456
01:00:42,839 --> 01:00:44,806
How long
have you been there?

1457
01:00:44,808 --> 01:00:47,275
Like, the longest amount
of time you could think of
right now.

1458
01:00:47,277 --> 01:00:48,677
This stuff
wasn't meant for you.

1459
01:00:48,679 --> 01:00:50,245
It was meant
to be private.

1460
01:00:50,247 --> 01:00:52,781
So, am I supposed
to just sit here
and not act like

1461
01:00:52,783 --> 01:00:55,017
I hear every one
of your problems?

1462
01:00:55,019 --> 01:00:58,387
You got 99 problems,
but being young isn't one.

1463
01:00:58,389 --> 01:01:01,757
You're just jealous
because Maya and I
have a real connection.

1464
01:01:01,759 --> 01:01:03,258
I'm pretty close
with my grandpa, too.

1465
01:01:04,961 --> 01:01:06,461
You're more messed up
than Cynthia was,

1466
01:01:06,463 --> 01:01:08,697
and she went to
the school shrink
three times a week.

1467
01:01:08,699 --> 01:01:10,866
Why?
I don't know.

1468
01:01:10,868 --> 01:01:12,701
But he gave her
a ton of pills
and shit.

1469
01:01:12,703 --> 01:01:15,103
Maybe he could
give you something
for your weird old face.

1470
01:01:15,105 --> 01:01:15,937
Okay.

1471
01:01:19,909 --> 01:01:22,444
Hey.
You're late.

1472
01:01:22,446 --> 01:01:25,247
No, actually,
I was busy with
the investigation.

1473
01:01:26,983 --> 01:01:30,185
This is Cynthia's
therapist's office.
This is our investigation.

1474
01:01:31,721 --> 01:01:32,454
(Whispering) All right.

1475
01:01:40,263 --> 01:01:42,064
Watch the door.

1476
01:01:42,066 --> 01:01:45,300
Oh, is that all I'm good for?
Just watching a fucking door?

1477
01:01:45,302 --> 01:01:46,368
(Cell phone vibrating)

1478
01:01:47,637 --> 01:01:48,837
Got it.

1479
01:01:50,440 --> 01:01:52,908
"Patient exhibits
drug-induced paranoia.

1480
01:01:52,910 --> 01:01:55,343
"Believes her
life is in danger."

1481
01:01:55,345 --> 01:01:56,178
Uh, door, door.

1482
01:01:58,414 --> 01:02:00,415
Hey.

1483
01:02:00,417 --> 01:02:02,851
I wasn't told that I had
a 9:00 A.M. session.

1484
01:02:02,853 --> 01:02:04,720
Yeah, no,
we're your 9:00 A.M.
that's us.

1485
01:02:04,722 --> 01:02:07,322
And we're cured.

1486
01:02:07,324 --> 01:02:09,958
Thank you very much.
You're an amazing doctor.

1487
01:02:09,960 --> 01:02:11,727
Please. You think
you're the first partners

1488
01:02:11,729 --> 01:02:16,565
only to try to run
when you're first faced
with talking with me?

1489
01:02:16,567 --> 01:02:17,999
How the fuck did you know
we were partners?

1490
01:02:18,001 --> 01:02:19,768
He doesn't know
we're partners.

1491
01:02:19,770 --> 01:02:21,503
(Whispering) I suspect
you're partners.

1492
01:02:21,505 --> 01:02:24,172
A relationship is something
that requires constant work.

1493
01:02:24,174 --> 01:02:25,674
Which is what I thought
we learned in high school.

1494
01:02:25,676 --> 01:02:27,642
So you are
high school sweethearts.

1495
01:02:27,644 --> 01:02:28,844
I picked up
on that early.

1496
01:02:28,846 --> 01:02:30,045
Please,
continue the dialogue.

1497
01:02:30,513 --> 01:02:31,480
Doc.

1498
01:02:32,982 --> 01:02:34,516
I just feel
like sometimes

1499
01:02:34,518 --> 01:02:36,017
he's not even
trying anymore.

1500
01:02:36,019 --> 01:02:38,386
Like this isn't
even worth saving.

1501
01:02:38,388 --> 01:02:39,721
Jenko: Oh, okay.
Well, sometimes
I feel like

1502
01:02:39,723 --> 01:02:41,356
that we should be
more like the yangs.

1503
01:02:41,358 --> 01:02:43,058
Or maybe I should be more
like your beautiful zook.

1504
01:02:43,060 --> 01:02:44,626
Oh, go fuck yourself!
You go fuck yourself.

1505
01:02:44,628 --> 01:02:46,628
Okay.
You're so selfish.

1506
01:02:46,630 --> 01:02:48,497
All right.
That's a lot of fucking.
Oh, my God.

1507
01:02:48,499 --> 01:02:52,200
sometimes I like to
have the participants
make physical contact.

1508
01:02:52,202 --> 01:02:53,602
Why don't you hold hands?

1509
01:02:53,604 --> 01:02:55,003
Okay.
I'm not doing that.

1510
01:02:55,005 --> 01:02:56,872
Hmm?
Do you see?

1511
01:02:56,874 --> 01:02:58,039
Reach out your hand.

1512
01:02:58,041 --> 01:02:59,541
I'm...

1513
01:02:59,543 --> 01:03:01,343
He's literally
reaching out for you.

1514
01:03:01,345 --> 01:03:02,444
He won't hold my hand.

1515
01:03:02,446 --> 01:03:03,612
Jenko: I'm not doing it.

1516
01:03:03,614 --> 01:03:05,013
I kind of
need you to do it.

1517
01:03:05,015 --> 01:03:06,848
He won't hold my hand.
Oh, you...

1518
01:03:06,850 --> 01:03:08,316
You got to
interlock it, though.

1519
01:03:08,318 --> 01:03:09,684
If you don't interlock it,
it's not hand-holding.

1520
01:03:09,686 --> 01:03:11,253
Fine.

1521
01:03:11,255 --> 01:03:12,420
We might as well
just be friends

1522
01:03:12,422 --> 01:03:13,455
and not partners.

1523
01:03:13,457 --> 01:03:14,322
Nice, right?

1524
01:03:15,291 --> 01:03:17,392
Okay, you see this?
This is strong.

1525
01:03:17,394 --> 01:03:19,628
What I want to be
able to have is this.

1526
01:03:19,630 --> 01:03:22,297
Is this...

1527
01:03:22,299 --> 01:03:26,101
I want to be
able to have that,
that same thing, in, like

1528
01:03:26,103 --> 01:03:28,270
without actually
having to do it.

1529
01:03:28,272 --> 01:03:29,471
Are you embarrassed
of your partner?

1530
01:03:29,473 --> 01:03:30,906
No, not at all. Okay?

1531
01:03:30,908 --> 01:03:32,674
And why the fuck
are you guys
ganging up on me?

1532
01:03:32,676 --> 01:03:33,875
Gang up on him.
Okay, seriously.

1533
01:03:33,877 --> 01:03:35,644
Okay, okay.
He's clingy.

1534
01:03:35,646 --> 01:03:37,913
He literally is terrified
of being by himself.

1535
01:03:37,915 --> 01:03:39,514
Look, I know
zook's your buddy

1536
01:03:39,516 --> 01:03:40,415
and you don't
want him to be guilty,

1537
01:03:40,417 --> 01:03:41,883
but he's our guy.

1538
01:03:41,885 --> 01:03:43,819
No, he's actually
not our guy.
I would know.

1539
01:03:43,821 --> 01:03:46,354
Now, you know,
we sometimes cling to things

1540
01:03:46,356 --> 01:03:48,456
because they're
familiar and comfortable.

1541
01:03:48,458 --> 01:03:50,192
I teach about
a principle called embedding.

1542
01:03:50,194 --> 01:03:51,726
Look at the facts.
Matter of fact, I...

1543
01:03:51,728 --> 01:03:54,296
Zook has the tattoo.
He knew Cynthia.

1544
01:03:54,298 --> 01:03:55,597
I know the first time
he met you,

1545
01:03:55,599 --> 01:03:56,898
you dropped a fucking
sandwich on his foot

1546
01:03:56,900 --> 01:03:58,300
and he smiled at you,

1547
01:03:58,302 --> 01:04:01,369
but you are completely
blind to the fact...

1548
01:04:01,371 --> 01:04:03,305
What'd you say
embedding was?
Embedding?

1549
01:04:03,307 --> 01:04:06,775
Oh, embedding
is our tendency
to latch on to

1550
01:04:06,777 --> 01:04:09,277
the first bit
of information
that we're offered

1551
01:04:09,279 --> 01:04:11,913
and overlooking,
or even ignoring,
contradictory information.

1552
01:04:11,915 --> 01:04:12,814
It's a fascinating
principle...

1553
01:04:12,816 --> 01:04:14,583
Shut up. I'm thinking.

1554
01:04:15,651 --> 01:04:17,953
You think
it's possible that

1555
01:04:17,955 --> 01:04:19,788
we embedded?

1556
01:04:19,790 --> 01:04:21,423
What, like when we were
drunk or something?

1557
01:04:21,425 --> 01:04:23,325
We embedded
each other?
Okay. I'm gonna recommend...

1558
01:04:23,327 --> 01:04:24,092
Okay, you can
leave the room.

1559
01:04:24,094 --> 01:04:25,160
Just get the fuck out.

1560
01:04:26,095 --> 01:04:27,462
Get the fuck out.
You heard him.

1561
01:04:27,464 --> 01:04:28,763
This took a turn.

1562
01:04:28,765 --> 01:04:30,265
One, two...

1563
01:04:30,267 --> 01:04:32,033
Okay. Yep.
Good session.
(Door closes)

1564
01:04:32,035 --> 01:04:33,301
The first time
we saw the photo

1565
01:04:33,303 --> 01:04:34,669
of Cynthia buying whyphy,

1566
01:04:34,671 --> 01:04:37,339
<i> dickson said,</i>
<i> "this guy's the dealer."</i>

1567
01:04:37,341 --> 01:04:39,407
Everything we've done
and thought has been
based on that fact,

1568
01:04:39,409 --> 01:04:41,109
but what if
dickson was wrong?

1569
01:04:41,111 --> 01:04:43,545
And we've ignored
all the other clues.

1570
01:04:43,547 --> 01:04:44,880
Schmidt: <i> What if Cynthia</i>
<i> wasn't the buyer?</i>

1571
01:04:45,781 --> 01:04:47,849
<i> What if Cynthia</i>
<i> was the dealer?</i>

1572
01:04:47,851 --> 01:04:51,286
Captain, we have something
really, really important
to tell you about.

1573
01:04:51,288 --> 01:04:52,220
(Velcro ripping)

1574
01:04:55,558 --> 01:04:57,058
Captain?

1575
01:04:57,060 --> 01:04:58,793
Are you wearing kevlar?

1576
01:04:58,795 --> 01:05:03,331
Now, gentlemen,
we're not gonna
sit here and pretend

1577
01:05:03,333 --> 01:05:05,834
there's not a big-ass
elephant in the room.

1578
01:05:05,836 --> 01:05:06,635
What the fuck
is going on?

1579
01:05:08,004 --> 01:05:09,938
This is what
the fuck is going on.

1580
01:05:16,112 --> 01:05:18,947
Oh, shit! Oh, shit!

1581
01:05:18,949 --> 01:05:20,482
(Laughing hysterically)

1582
01:05:22,184 --> 01:05:24,185
Oh, shit! No!

1583
01:05:24,187 --> 01:05:27,756
That is not happening
right now! No!

1584
01:05:27,758 --> 01:05:31,159
Hey, y'all, he's fucking
the captain's daughter! Yo!

1585
01:05:31,161 --> 01:05:32,661
Every time he say
that shit...

1586
01:05:32,663 --> 01:05:34,229
Jenko: Oh, my fuck!

1587
01:05:34,231 --> 01:05:36,231
...that's another
foot in your ass.

1588
01:05:36,233 --> 01:05:39,467
Schmidt, you clearly...
Yo, this is
the best thing ever!

1589
01:05:39,469 --> 01:05:40,502
(Laughing hysterically)

1590
01:05:41,671 --> 01:05:44,239
Schmidt fucked
the captain's daughter!

1591
01:05:44,241 --> 01:05:47,242
(Singsong) Schmidt fucked
the captain's daughter!

1592
01:05:47,244 --> 01:05:50,078
Schmidt fucked
the captain's daughter!

1593
01:05:50,080 --> 01:05:52,681
Shit! Fuck!

1594
01:05:52,683 --> 01:05:55,283
You fucked
captain dickson's daughter?

1595
01:05:55,952 --> 01:05:57,519
Captain, what the...

1596
01:05:57,521 --> 01:05:59,921
You bragged to him
to his face.

1597
01:05:59,923 --> 01:06:01,589
To his actual face.
Captain...

1598
01:06:01,591 --> 01:06:05,393
Do you understand that
this face right here,
you bragged to that face?

1599
01:06:05,395 --> 01:06:08,964
You actually
high-fived schmidt
for fucking your daughter.

1600
01:06:08,966 --> 01:06:10,031
Holy shit!

1601
01:06:10,800 --> 01:06:12,067
Oh, my God! This is...

1602
01:06:13,402 --> 01:06:14,970
It's really not
that funny.

1603
01:06:16,038 --> 01:06:17,939
Schmidt:
I just want to say that

1604
01:06:17,941 --> 01:06:22,344
it was bizarre not
to share the fact

1605
01:06:22,346 --> 01:06:24,879
that your daughter
went to mc state.

1606
01:06:24,881 --> 01:06:26,247
I think it's bizarre

1607
01:06:26,249 --> 01:06:28,616
that I haven't cut your
motherfucking nuts off.

1608
01:06:28,618 --> 01:06:31,953
What if captain gets to
punch you in the face
one time,

1609
01:06:31,955 --> 01:06:33,688
really, really,
really hard?

1610
01:06:33,690 --> 01:06:34,656
Nah.

1611
01:06:36,092 --> 01:06:38,259
I got something
way better than that.

1612
01:06:39,295 --> 01:06:40,528
(Screams)
(All exclaiming)

1613
01:06:41,764 --> 01:06:44,733
You think Cynthia
was the dealer?

1614
01:06:44,735 --> 01:06:47,936
How the fuck we gonna
infiltrate the dealer
if the dealer is dead?

1615
01:06:47,938 --> 01:06:49,371
We have to
stop treating this

1616
01:06:49,373 --> 01:06:51,773
like it's exactly
the same as last time.

1617
01:06:51,775 --> 01:06:54,843
And we got a bigger problem.
No more money in the budget.

1618
01:06:54,845 --> 01:06:56,077
What? I thought
we had Cate blanchett.

1619
01:06:56,946 --> 01:06:58,513
Cate blanchett?

1620
01:06:58,515 --> 01:07:01,016
Yeah, I thought we
had Cate blanchett
with the budget.

1621
01:07:01,018 --> 01:07:02,550
You mean
"carte blanche."

1622
01:07:03,452 --> 01:07:04,686
That one.

1623
01:07:04,688 --> 01:07:06,488
Welcome back, dum-dum.

1624
01:07:06,490 --> 01:07:09,724
We did have carte blanche.
Not no more.

1625
01:07:09,726 --> 01:07:11,893
You got
that expensive chase
in the beginning,

1626
01:07:11,895 --> 01:07:15,663
that expensive equipment,
this fucking office...

1627
01:07:15,665 --> 01:07:18,933
This look like some shit
iron man would have.
Shit's expensive!

1628
01:07:18,935 --> 01:07:22,904
I got on $800 shoes,
and you can't even
see the motherfuckers.

1629
01:07:22,906 --> 01:07:25,340
So now you two motherfuckers
is in the crosshairs.

1630
01:07:25,342 --> 01:07:26,808
I'm warning you,

1631
01:07:26,810 --> 01:07:28,710
find the supplier,

1632
01:07:28,712 --> 01:07:30,378
but don't cost
the department
no more money.

1633
01:07:32,481 --> 01:07:36,017
Look, I apologize
about the zook thing.

1634
01:07:36,019 --> 01:07:38,353
You were right,
he's not the dealer.

1635
01:07:38,355 --> 01:07:39,821
Okay, great.
You apologized.

1636
01:07:39,823 --> 01:07:41,222
What's that worth, man?

1637
01:07:41,224 --> 01:07:44,526
Now we have no leads.
What are we supposed
to do now?

1638
01:07:44,528 --> 01:07:45,427
Police work.

1639
01:07:52,902 --> 01:07:54,436
Fuck.

1640
01:07:55,938 --> 01:07:58,206
(Exclaims in disgust)

1641
01:07:58,208 --> 01:08:00,308
Don't throw a fucking
dead person's dildo at me.

1642
01:08:00,310 --> 01:08:02,477
We're at work
right now, okay?

1643
01:08:02,479 --> 01:08:04,746
Jenko: Kids don't check out
books anymore, right?

1644
01:08:05,848 --> 01:08:07,582
I don't even think
they know how to read.

1645
01:08:10,386 --> 01:08:12,187
Library.
Book place.

1646
01:08:12,189 --> 01:08:13,354
Library.

1647
01:08:13,356 --> 01:08:15,423
The supplier
is putting drugs

1648
01:08:15,425 --> 01:08:16,524
inside the books
in the library,

1649
01:08:16,526 --> 01:08:18,660
where literally no one
goes anymore, man.

1650
01:08:18,662 --> 01:08:20,428
And the dealers
check out the books.

1651
01:08:20,430 --> 01:08:22,297
We're going to
catch the supplier.
(Cell phone vibrating)

1652
01:08:22,299 --> 01:08:23,598
Do you realize
how cool...
Wait, one sec, one sec.

1653
01:08:23,600 --> 01:08:25,100
What's up, dude?

1654
01:08:25,102 --> 01:08:27,001
Hey, dude,
where are you?

1655
01:08:27,003 --> 01:08:29,237
We're warming up.
The game's about to start.

1656
01:08:29,239 --> 01:08:30,839
All right, man.
Um, look, I'm just gonna...

1657
01:08:30,841 --> 01:08:32,107
I'm coming.

1658
01:08:32,109 --> 01:08:33,341
All right, later.

1659
01:08:33,343 --> 01:08:34,943
What are you doing?
Don't leave me hanging.

1660
01:08:34,945 --> 01:08:37,645
Dude, I got to go or
I'm gonna blow my cover,
okay?

1661
01:08:37,647 --> 01:08:39,114
You can do this alone.
I'll be back in two hours.

1662
01:08:39,116 --> 01:08:40,315
You got this.

1663
01:08:48,224 --> 01:08:49,557
(Crowd cheering)

1664
01:08:49,559 --> 01:08:50,925
(Speaking indistinctly)

1665
01:08:50,927 --> 01:08:52,327
You scared me.

1666
01:09:03,105 --> 01:09:06,007
Zook: State name! Number!
State name! Number!

1667
01:09:06,009 --> 01:09:07,609
Color! Color! Number!

1668
01:09:08,377 --> 01:09:09,744
Man: This is the place.

1669
01:09:09,746 --> 01:09:11,312
You'd think if somebody
wants to show us
their operation,

1670
01:09:11,314 --> 01:09:12,747
they'd at least
be on time.

1671
01:09:14,183 --> 01:09:16,584
Look at this crap. Huh?

1672
01:09:16,586 --> 01:09:18,653
I do miss the days...
Shit.

1673
01:09:18,655 --> 01:09:20,488
What's he doing here?
...When people
did normal drugs.

1674
01:09:21,223 --> 01:09:22,590
What is this?
Jelly beans?

1675
01:09:23,792 --> 01:09:24,959
Crap!

1676
01:09:24,961 --> 01:09:26,995
Set, hut!

1677
01:09:26,997 --> 01:09:29,931
Bob: <i> Mcquaid crosses</i>
<i> in an end-around.</i>

1678
01:09:29,933 --> 01:09:33,234
<i> It's a trick play!</i>
<i> These two are</i>
<i> practically interchangeable.</i>

1679
01:09:33,236 --> 01:09:35,503
<i> Mcquaid throws down</i>
<i> the field to haythe.</i>

1680
01:09:40,209 --> 01:09:42,177
<i> And he hangs on</i>
<i> for the touchdown!</i>

1681
01:09:42,179 --> 01:09:43,745
Jim: <i> These two are</i>
<i> peas in a pod, Bob,</i>

1682
01:09:43,747 --> 01:09:45,146
<i> but instead of</i>
<i> little green balls,</i>

1683
01:09:45,148 --> 01:09:46,648
<i> they are human</i>
<i> football players.</i>

1684
01:09:50,854 --> 01:09:54,756
Announcer: <i> Let's hear it</i>
<i> once again, mc state,</i>
<i> for your dynamic duo.</i>

1685
01:09:54,758 --> 01:09:56,257
(Crowd cheering)

1686
01:09:58,027 --> 01:09:59,561
Oh, shit. My brother
needs me again.

1687
01:10:01,931 --> 01:10:04,332
Look, you know,
loyalty's cool,

1688
01:10:04,334 --> 01:10:06,167
and I admire it,

1689
01:10:06,169 --> 01:10:07,335
and I know
he's your brother.

1690
01:10:09,305 --> 01:10:10,972
But you can't
allow yourself to be
held down by a guy

1691
01:10:10,974 --> 01:10:13,675
just because
he won't let go.

1692
01:10:18,047 --> 01:10:19,247
Jenko: Yeah. Um...

1693
01:10:21,517 --> 01:10:23,318
I gotta take a piss.

1694
01:10:25,955 --> 01:10:28,122
Man: The kid's pretty rude
to make us wait like this.

1695
01:10:28,124 --> 01:10:29,791
Can you shut it?

1696
01:10:29,793 --> 01:10:31,993
What's wrong with
those classic drugs
from the '90s?

1697
01:10:31,995 --> 01:10:33,795
Heroin,
you know, cocaine...

1698
01:10:33,797 --> 01:10:35,563
Hey, hey.
Whoa. Shit.

1699
01:10:35,565 --> 01:10:36,631
I'm fucking here.
You happy?
Shh!

1700
01:10:36,633 --> 01:10:38,299
The ghost is
right there, okay?

1701
01:10:38,301 --> 01:10:39,767
He's about to meet up
with the supplier.

1702
01:10:39,769 --> 01:10:41,703
Hey. Check that out.
Jenko: You shush.

1703
01:10:41,705 --> 01:10:43,404
You're the one
fucking talking.
You're being so fucking loud.

1704
01:10:43,406 --> 01:10:44,572
You shut the fuck up.

1705
01:10:45,708 --> 01:10:46,708
What's going on here?
Schmidt: Shit!

1706
01:10:46,710 --> 01:10:48,243
Um...

1707
01:10:48,245 --> 01:10:51,446
(Stuttering)
You're interrupting
a really stellar blow job.

1708
01:10:51,448 --> 01:10:53,448
Oh, fuck,
I just came so hard!

1709
01:10:53,450 --> 01:10:54,682
What the hell
is going on?

1710
01:10:54,684 --> 01:10:55,650
It's okay. It's just
a couple of faggots.

1711
01:10:56,785 --> 01:10:58,586
Hey, yo, what the fuck
did you just say?

1712
01:10:58,588 --> 01:10:59,988
Did you just
call us "faggots"?

1713
01:10:59,990 --> 01:11:01,022
He said you were
sucking his dick.

1714
01:11:02,024 --> 01:11:03,591
It's 2014, asshole.

1715
01:11:03,593 --> 01:11:05,159
You can't
fucking use "faggot."

1716
01:11:05,161 --> 01:11:07,295
"Gay" is okay.
"Homosexual," maybe.

1717
01:11:07,297 --> 01:11:09,797
And if you know the person,
you might be able to
call them a "queer."

1718
01:11:09,799 --> 01:11:11,699
If they have a great
sense of humor,
but I don't.

1719
01:11:11,701 --> 01:11:13,234
I'm sorry, he took one
human sexuality class,

1720
01:11:13,236 --> 01:11:14,435
he thinks
he's Harvey milk.

1721
01:11:14,437 --> 01:11:16,304
Oh, my God.
Will you please,

1722
01:11:16,306 --> 01:11:18,306
just for once,
just back me up?

1723
01:11:18,308 --> 01:11:19,907
Why can't you just
use your head for once?

1724
01:11:19,909 --> 01:11:21,276
Oh. You want me
to use my head? Fine.

1725
01:11:23,646 --> 01:11:24,879
Oh, yeah,
what's up now,
motherfuckers?

1726
01:11:24,881 --> 01:11:25,880
You remember me?

1727
01:11:25,882 --> 01:11:27,148
I'm your best night...

1728
01:11:27,150 --> 01:11:28,516
I'm your worst nightmare.

1729
01:11:28,518 --> 01:11:30,685
Oh, man,
it's my memory.

1730
01:11:31,353 --> 01:11:32,920
It's getting worse lately.

1731
01:11:32,922 --> 01:11:34,656
Are you the police?

1732
01:11:34,658 --> 01:11:37,959
Yeah, that's right.
And you motherfuckers
are all under arrest.

1733
01:11:37,961 --> 01:11:38,693
(Ghost chuckles)

1734
01:11:39,194 --> 01:11:40,762
Where's your gun?

1735
01:11:40,764 --> 01:11:41,896
What?
Do you have guns?

1736
01:11:42,831 --> 01:11:44,265
No.

1737
01:11:44,267 --> 01:11:45,967
No, I don't.

1738
01:11:45,969 --> 01:11:48,736
'Cause we have guns.

1739
01:11:48,738 --> 01:11:52,840
Well, why don't you
put your guns down,
and let's fight like men?

1740
01:11:55,210 --> 01:11:56,678
Because we have guns.

1741
01:11:56,680 --> 01:11:58,513
Schmidt, run!
Get him!

1742
01:11:58,515 --> 01:12:00,715
Go! Go, go.
Go!

1743
01:12:00,717 --> 01:12:01,516
Shit!
(Guns firing)

1744
01:12:02,618 --> 01:12:04,185
Ghost: How hard
can it be? Shoot them!

1745
01:12:04,187 --> 01:12:05,420
Fuck, fuck, fuck!

1746
01:12:05,422 --> 01:12:06,387
Shoot them! Shoot them!

1747
01:12:08,190 --> 01:12:09,557
Come on, this way,
it's faster.

1748
01:12:09,559 --> 01:12:10,825
No, just come this...
Schmidt! Schmidt!

1749
01:12:10,827 --> 01:12:11,893
(Groans)

1750
01:12:13,095 --> 01:12:13,928
Hurry up, okay?

1751
01:12:18,567 --> 01:12:19,901
Schmidt,
will you hurry up!

1752
01:12:19,903 --> 01:12:21,069
Stop yelling at me!
You're distracting me!

1753
01:12:24,173 --> 01:12:25,640
Schmidt, come on!
Let's go!

1754
01:12:25,642 --> 01:12:27,475
I can't jump down!
I'm not, like,
fucking spider-man!

1755
01:12:27,477 --> 01:12:29,344
I'm gonna get the car.

1756
01:12:33,315 --> 01:12:34,549
Stairs are
so much faster.

1757
01:12:34,551 --> 01:12:35,683
(Tires screeching)

1758
01:12:35,685 --> 01:12:37,385
That's the car you got?

1759
01:12:37,387 --> 01:12:38,953
I'm sorry it's
not a fucking lambo.
Shut up and get in.

1760
01:12:38,955 --> 01:12:40,054
Are they even
still chasing us?

1761
01:12:40,056 --> 01:12:40,955
Yes, they're
still chasing us!

1762
01:12:48,864 --> 01:12:50,264
Why did you do that?
We were about to
catch the supplier.

1763
01:12:50,266 --> 01:12:51,499
What's wrong with you?

1764
01:12:51,501 --> 01:12:52,767
Look, if you don't
say something,

1765
01:12:52,769 --> 01:12:54,535
people will never
stop discriminating.

1766
01:12:54,537 --> 01:12:56,137
Will you please
do something

1767
01:12:56,139 --> 01:12:57,138
about how slow
this thing's going?

1768
01:12:59,942 --> 01:13:01,542
(Screams)

1769
01:13:01,544 --> 01:13:02,744
Oh, shit!
Watch out, watch out!

1770
01:13:06,882 --> 01:13:08,683
That is just like
a little helmet machine.

1771
01:13:12,121 --> 01:13:13,421
(Both screaming)

1772
01:13:19,027 --> 01:13:20,962
We can't destroy
any more stuff!

1773
01:13:20,964 --> 01:13:23,531
We can't waste any more
of the department's money!

1774
01:13:23,533 --> 01:13:24,866
Watch out for
that cash machine!

1775
01:13:27,970 --> 01:13:29,604
All: Whoo!

1776
01:13:29,606 --> 01:13:30,772
Which way?
Which way? Which way?

1777
01:13:30,774 --> 01:13:31,439
Schmidt:
Whichever way's cheaper!

1778
01:13:32,241 --> 01:13:34,108
Right? You went right?

1779
01:13:34,110 --> 01:13:35,543
You could've gone
in a parking lot,

1780
01:13:35,545 --> 01:13:36,878
you went to
the sculpture garden?

1781
01:13:36,880 --> 01:13:37,945
Do you know how expensive
that's gonna be?

1782
01:13:43,185 --> 01:13:44,652
Shit!

1783
01:13:44,654 --> 01:13:45,620
It's like they're
trying to hit 'em
or something.

1784
01:13:45,622 --> 01:13:46,954
I mean, it looks cool,

1785
01:13:46,956 --> 01:13:48,055
but, I mean,
it's just so wasteful.

1786
01:13:50,959 --> 01:13:53,094
Schmidt: They're
destroying everything!

1787
01:13:53,096 --> 01:13:55,329
Captain's gonna kill us!
(Tires screeching)

1788
01:13:55,331 --> 01:13:56,898
What are we gonna do?

1789
01:13:56,900 --> 01:13:58,065
All right,
we're gonna lose 'em
in the robotics lab.

1790
01:13:58,067 --> 01:13:59,000
What?

1791
01:14:01,036 --> 01:14:02,136
(Clattering)

1792
01:14:04,740 --> 01:14:07,074
Schmidt: Oh, no!
Oh, we broke everything!

1793
01:14:07,076 --> 01:14:08,843
There was a lot of
expensive stuff in there!

1794
01:14:10,279 --> 01:14:11,179
Oh, shit!

1795
01:14:12,748 --> 01:14:13,614
They're going
into the stadium!

1796
01:14:16,885 --> 01:14:18,186
Listen, schmidt,
I gotta tell you something.

1797
01:14:19,388 --> 01:14:20,588
I got offered a scholarship

1798
01:14:20,590 --> 01:14:22,356
to play football
here next year.

1799
01:14:22,358 --> 01:14:24,392
And zook said I could
room with him, you know,

1800
01:14:24,394 --> 01:14:28,329
so I was thinking that
I could do that, maybe.

1801
01:14:28,331 --> 01:14:30,331
What? You can't be a cop

1802
01:14:30,333 --> 01:14:32,099
and stay here
and play football
with zook.

1803
01:14:32,101 --> 01:14:34,135
No, look, I know, okay?
It's just...

1804
01:14:34,137 --> 01:14:36,270
There's no friction
with me and zook.
We're the same.

1805
01:14:36,272 --> 01:14:38,473
Do you want out?
If you want out, just say it.

1806
01:14:38,475 --> 01:14:40,274
No, I don't want out, okay?

1807
01:14:40,276 --> 01:14:41,943
It's just, when I'm
on the football field

1808
01:14:41,945 --> 01:14:44,479
and I'm diving for a pass,
I feel like I can fly.

1809
01:14:44,481 --> 01:14:45,780
All right?
And when I'm with you,

1810
01:14:45,782 --> 01:14:47,048
it just feels like
you hold me down.

1811
01:14:48,684 --> 01:14:50,551
I just wish you
could fly with me.

1812
01:14:50,553 --> 01:14:53,521
Bob: <i> And the statesmen</i>
<i> win, 34-14.</i>

1813
01:14:53,523 --> 01:14:55,423
(All cheering)
Jim: <i> And there go</i>
<i> the fans onto the field.</i>

1814
01:14:55,425 --> 01:14:56,224
(Tires screeching)

1815
01:14:58,994 --> 01:14:59,994
(All groaning)

1816
01:15:02,498 --> 01:15:03,264
Schmidt: Jenko!

1817
01:15:04,366 --> 01:15:05,700
Jesus Christ!

1818
01:15:08,003 --> 01:15:09,337
Dude, the brakes
are out.
What?

1819
01:15:09,339 --> 01:15:10,872
Get the fuck
out of the way!

1820
01:15:10,874 --> 01:15:11,973
You gotta jump.
You gotta jump,
jump, jump!

1821
01:15:18,247 --> 01:15:18,813
No.

1822
01:15:22,117 --> 01:15:22,950
(Crowd gasps)

1823
01:15:23,452 --> 01:15:24,285
(Creaking)

1824
01:15:28,690 --> 01:15:29,824
Fuck!

1825
01:15:30,526 --> 01:15:31,526
(Cheering)

1826
01:15:41,837 --> 01:15:43,037
Let's go, boss.
We gotta go.
(Laughs)

1827
01:15:45,073 --> 01:15:47,108
You did it! Yeah!
Yeah! Yeah!

1828
01:15:49,478 --> 01:15:51,078
You're under
arrest, sir.

1829
01:15:51,080 --> 01:15:52,713
Hey, I'm an officer,
all right?

1830
01:15:52,715 --> 01:15:55,149
Just take me in.
I'll explain later.

1831
01:15:55,151 --> 01:15:57,218
No, no, no.
Hey, he's a student.
He didn't do anything.

1832
01:15:57,220 --> 01:16:00,187
Wait, wait.
What are you doing?
What are you doing?

1833
01:16:00,189 --> 01:16:01,155
I, um...

1834
01:16:01,823 --> 01:16:03,324
I decided for you.

1835
01:16:04,826 --> 01:16:08,129
Just stick with football.

1836
01:16:08,131 --> 01:16:11,365
I can't give you
the same feeling
that these guys can.

1837
01:16:11,367 --> 01:16:12,400
Maybe we were
only supposed
to do this once.

1838
01:16:12,402 --> 01:16:13,968
What?

1839
01:16:13,970 --> 01:16:14,936
Dude, this is
the fucking best
moment of my life!

1840
01:16:14,938 --> 01:16:16,270
Let's go, man!

1841
01:16:19,441 --> 01:16:22,910
All: (Chanting)
Mcquaid! Mcquaid! Mcquaid!

1842
01:16:28,617 --> 01:16:29,917
<i> ¶ ¶</i>

1843
01:16:37,960 --> 01:16:39,226
Maya:
Hey, Maya angelou.

1844
01:16:40,329 --> 01:16:41,629
Thanks for lying to me.

1845
01:16:48,270 --> 01:16:49,136
Aw.

1846
01:16:53,976 --> 01:16:56,210
Both: Lam-bros! Yes!

1847
01:16:56,212 --> 01:16:58,546
Both: Brad mcquaid!
Brad mcquaid!

1848
01:16:58,548 --> 01:16:59,947
Brad mcquaid! Brad...

1849
01:17:07,022 --> 01:17:09,056
How are we doing
tonight, sir?
Good, thanks.

1850
01:17:09,058 --> 01:17:10,992
Are we waiting
on anybody or
you dining alone?

1851
01:17:10,994 --> 01:17:13,027
Someone may swing by,
but we can...

1852
01:17:13,029 --> 01:17:14,795
We can order
without them.

1853
01:17:14,797 --> 01:17:19,100
<i> We have identified</i>
<i> and arrested one</i>
<i> Dr. Karl Murphy,</i>

1854
01:17:19,102 --> 01:17:22,436
<i> who was found with</i>
<i> whyphy residue</i>
<i> throughout his office...</i>

1855
01:17:22,438 --> 01:17:26,007
<i> ...and had a close</i>
<i> personal relationship</i>
<i> with the deceased.</i>

1856
01:17:26,009 --> 01:17:28,709
<i> Exactly like a case</i>
<i> we had recently at</i>
<i> a high school.</i>

1857
01:17:29,578 --> 01:17:31,746
<i> Exactly the same.</i>

1858
01:17:32,781 --> 01:17:34,949
<i> The case is closed.</i>

1859
01:17:34,951 --> 01:17:37,118
You know, like, what
you're gonna do after
you're out of here?

1860
01:17:41,556 --> 01:17:43,791
You're not supposed
to throw rocks.

1861
01:17:45,293 --> 01:17:46,527
What?

1862
01:17:46,529 --> 01:17:49,030
You're not supposed
to throw rocks.

1863
01:17:49,032 --> 01:17:50,798
(Groans)
<i> ¶ I ain't missing you at all</i>

1864
01:17:53,902 --> 01:17:58,239
<i> ¶ since you've been gone away</i>

1865
01:17:58,241 --> 01:18:01,008
the lobster for one person.

1866
01:18:01,010 --> 01:18:03,144
Enough for one person only.

1867
01:18:03,146 --> 01:18:06,847
<i> ¶ No matter</i>
<i> what my friends say</i>

1868
01:18:06,849 --> 01:18:08,649
I found something in
this whyphy case that
caught my attention.

1869
01:18:08,651 --> 01:18:10,351
Get the fuck out
of my office.

1870
01:18:10,353 --> 01:18:11,819
Sir, you don't...
We caught the guy.

1871
01:18:11,821 --> 01:18:12,987
(Both grunting)

1872
01:18:12,989 --> 01:18:15,289
Both: Yeah! Yeah!

1873
01:18:16,358 --> 01:18:17,191
(Both grunting)

1874
01:18:20,028 --> 01:18:23,130
Hey, you want to do
anything else other than
work out today?

1875
01:18:23,132 --> 01:18:24,365
Like what?

1876
01:18:24,367 --> 01:18:26,000
Come on, dude.
They're just
lobsters, dude.

1877
01:18:26,002 --> 01:18:27,468
Come on.
No, don't be afraid.

1878
01:18:27,470 --> 01:18:29,470
It's gonna claw your face.
It's gonna claw your face.

1879
01:18:32,674 --> 01:18:34,208
(All clapping)

1880
01:18:36,144 --> 01:18:39,880
It's gonna be like
this, dude, for the
rest of our lives.

1881
01:18:39,882 --> 01:18:41,315
<i> ¶ ¶</i>

1882
01:18:41,317 --> 01:18:44,218
<i> ¶ down this long</i>
<i> distance line tonight</i>

1883
01:18:44,220 --> 01:18:46,120
<i> ¶ I ain't missing you at all</i>

1884
01:18:49,091 --> 01:18:53,060
<i> ¶ since you've been gone away</i>

1885
01:18:53,062 --> 01:18:54,829
<i> ¶ I ain't missing you</i>

1886
01:18:58,500 --> 01:19:02,870
<i> ¶ no matter</i>
<i> what my friends say</i>

1887
01:19:02,872 --> 01:19:04,739
<i> ¶ ain't missing you ¶</i>

1888
01:19:06,742 --> 01:19:07,875
hey.
Hey.

1889
01:19:10,679 --> 01:19:12,513
What are you doing here?

1890
01:19:12,515 --> 01:19:14,482
Just came to see
how you are.

1891
01:19:15,784 --> 01:19:17,585
I'm doing fucking great.

1892
01:19:17,587 --> 01:19:19,086
I'm the happiest
I've ever been,

1893
01:19:19,088 --> 01:19:21,655
so I'm just having
a great time with myself.

1894
01:19:21,657 --> 01:19:23,457
I'm glad you're
having a good time
with yourself.

1895
01:19:23,459 --> 01:19:26,761
I'm a solo artist now,
like Beyonce.

1896
01:19:26,763 --> 01:19:30,498
I used to have the
other destiny's children,
but now I'm just, uh,

1897
01:19:30,500 --> 01:19:31,699
a lone superstar.

1898
01:19:31,701 --> 01:19:33,434
Happy for you.

1899
01:19:33,436 --> 01:19:36,337
Just a light-skinned
princess with a dream
and an amazing voice.

1900
01:19:36,339 --> 01:19:37,138
That's great.

1901
01:19:38,140 --> 01:19:39,006
How are you?

1902
01:19:39,708 --> 01:19:42,209
I'm pretty great.

1903
01:19:42,211 --> 01:19:44,912
I just chill and...
You know how
chill zook is.

1904
01:19:44,914 --> 01:19:45,980
Zook's such a chill guy.

1905
01:19:45,982 --> 01:19:47,648
Just like ice.

1906
01:19:47,650 --> 01:19:49,483
That makes me
so happy for you.

1907
01:19:52,554 --> 01:19:54,855
So, look, I just
wanted to say that, like,

1908
01:19:54,857 --> 01:19:56,924
I was thinking
about the case,

1909
01:19:56,926 --> 01:19:59,193
and I was worried
that they got
the wrong guy for it.

1910
01:20:00,962 --> 01:20:01,729
I don't think
he's the guy, either.

1911
01:20:01,731 --> 01:20:03,330
Yeah?

1912
01:20:03,332 --> 01:20:05,399
I looked into
the ghost's background,

1913
01:20:05,401 --> 01:20:08,469
and I saw that
he pays tuition for
a student at mc state.

1914
01:20:08,471 --> 01:20:10,204
You think
the ghost could be
the supplier's dad?

1915
01:20:10,206 --> 01:20:11,472
Maybe.

1916
01:20:11,474 --> 01:20:12,540
Okay, that's
a pretty good piece
of information.

1917
01:20:12,542 --> 01:20:13,808
Thank you.

1918
01:20:13,810 --> 01:20:16,210
Well, I heard whyphy's
coming back in a big way.

1919
01:20:16,212 --> 01:20:17,711
Someone's bringing
a shit-ton of that stuff

1920
01:20:17,713 --> 01:20:19,547
down to puerto, Mexico,
for spring break.

1921
01:20:19,549 --> 01:20:22,583
And if that happens,
whyphy is going viral.

1922
01:20:22,585 --> 01:20:24,051
It's gonna be
at every college
in the country.

1923
01:20:24,053 --> 01:20:26,287
I think my information
was stronger.

1924
01:20:26,289 --> 01:20:28,255
Look, if you...
If you want to,

1925
01:20:29,925 --> 01:20:30,958
we could go down there.

1926
01:20:32,060 --> 01:20:33,761
Like together?

1927
01:20:33,763 --> 01:20:35,396
We don't have to
put a label on it.

1928
01:20:35,398 --> 01:20:37,598
Just, like, one-time.
One-time thing.

1929
01:20:37,600 --> 01:20:39,733
No big commitment or
stress to each other.

1930
01:20:43,038 --> 01:20:45,539
What about school
and football and
your wonderful new life?

1931
01:20:46,842 --> 01:20:47,608
I have time off.

1932
01:20:49,711 --> 01:20:51,212
I'm on spring break.

1933
01:20:51,746 --> 01:20:52,847
<i> ¶ ¶</i>

1934
01:21:04,793 --> 01:21:05,893
(sighs)

1935
01:21:05,895 --> 01:21:06,894
Cool tingling.

1936
01:21:08,029 --> 01:21:09,430
Got room for one
of these babies.

1937
01:21:09,432 --> 01:21:11,732
A grenade.
Why you gonna
put it there?

1938
01:21:11,734 --> 01:21:13,167
That's just unsanitary.

1939
01:21:13,169 --> 01:21:14,134
Feels right.

1940
01:21:25,714 --> 01:21:27,181
Missed a spot.

1941
01:21:38,827 --> 01:21:40,194
You know this is just
a one-time thing, right?

1942
01:21:41,796 --> 01:21:42,930
I know.

1943
01:21:44,266 --> 01:21:46,467
So you're not gonna
be weird about this?

1944
01:21:50,772 --> 01:21:51,939
Okay.

1945
01:21:56,611 --> 01:21:57,478
Both: Perfect.

1946
01:21:58,747 --> 01:22:00,481
Spring break,
motherfucker.

1947
01:22:04,152 --> 01:22:05,586
Did you not see that
I was going first?
Excuse you.

1948
01:22:05,588 --> 01:22:07,655
Excuse you.
You want to go first?

1949
01:22:07,657 --> 01:22:09,623
Emcee: <i> Spring break,</i>
<i> motherfuckers!</i>

1950
01:22:10,592 --> 01:22:11,792
(Crowd cheering)

1951
01:22:11,794 --> 01:22:13,294
<i> ¶ ¶</i>

1952
01:22:13,296 --> 01:22:15,362
<i> ¶ I be divin' in the crowd</i>

1953
01:22:15,364 --> 01:22:16,897
<i> ¶ shake my dreads,</i>
<i> actin' wild</i>

1954
01:22:16,899 --> 01:22:18,565
<i> ¶ can't do lean,</i>
<i> too blowed out</i>

1955
01:22:18,567 --> 01:22:20,367
<i> ¶ too turnt up,</i>
<i> I can't turn down</i>

1956
01:22:20,369 --> 01:22:21,835
<i> ¶ can't turn down</i>
<i> can't turn down</i>

1957
01:22:21,837 --> 01:22:23,203
<i> ¶ can't turn down</i>

1958
01:22:27,876 --> 01:22:29,009
hey.

1959
01:22:38,320 --> 01:22:40,220
<i> ¶ All I wanna do is party</i>

1960
01:22:40,222 --> 01:22:41,722
<i> ¶ my head keep</i>
<i> on spinning around</i>

1961
01:22:41,724 --> 01:22:43,090
<i> ¶ baby girl,</i>
<i> why don't you first</i>

1962
01:22:43,092 --> 01:22:44,959
<i> ¶ drop it to the ground</i>

1963
01:22:44,961 --> 01:22:46,727
<i> ¶ I be divin' in the crowd</i>

1964
01:22:46,729 --> 01:22:48,195
<i> ¶ shake my dreads,</i>
<i> actin' wild</i>

1965
01:22:48,197 --> 01:22:49,964
<i> ¶ can't do lean,</i>
<i> too blowed out</i>

1966
01:22:49,966 --> 01:22:51,799
<i> ¶ too turnt up,</i>
<i> I can't turn down</i>

1967
01:22:51,801 --> 01:22:53,400
<i> ¶ can't turn down</i>
<i> can't turn down</i>

1968
01:22:53,402 --> 01:22:54,935
<i> ¶ can't turn down</i>
<i> can't turn down</i>

1969
01:22:54,937 --> 01:22:56,704
<i> ¶ can't turn down</i>
<i> can't turn down</i>

1970
01:22:56,706 --> 01:22:58,005
<i> ¶ can't turn down</i>
<i> can't turn down ¶</i>

1971
01:23:02,811 --> 01:23:05,079
my gosh! I'm sweaty.

1972
01:23:05,081 --> 01:23:06,180
You guys are actually
eating stuff in here?

1973
01:23:06,681 --> 01:23:08,315
That's so crazy.

1974
01:23:08,317 --> 01:23:09,950
Jenko: Come on, man,
put your dick away.

1975
01:23:09,952 --> 01:23:11,218
Put your fucking
dick away.

1976
01:23:11,220 --> 01:23:12,720
Upstairs, upstairs.
Let's go.

1977
01:23:15,190 --> 01:23:16,957
Mercedes: <i> Okay,</i>
<i> so here's the plan.</i>

1978
01:23:16,959 --> 01:23:21,061
We're gonna get all these
kids at spring break
hooked on whyphy.

1979
01:23:21,063 --> 01:23:23,063
Then you're gonna
bring it back
to your turf,

1980
01:23:23,065 --> 01:23:25,165
and you're gonna sell
the shit out of it.

1981
01:23:25,167 --> 01:23:27,901
"Sell shit out of it."
Do you see that?

1982
01:23:27,903 --> 01:23:31,705
And if you rat me out,
I framed my psych prof just
for giving me a b-minus.

1983
01:23:31,707 --> 01:23:34,208
He's in jail now,
so don't fuck with me.

1984
01:23:35,610 --> 01:23:36,744
We're gonna build
a nationwide network.

1985
01:23:36,746 --> 01:23:39,146
What? What the fuck
are you doing?
Be quiet.

1986
01:23:39,148 --> 01:23:41,615
Why don't you sell
those old classic drugs

1987
01:23:41,617 --> 01:23:44,685
from the '90s,
like cocaine,
heroin and...

1988
01:23:44,687 --> 01:23:47,388
Dad, those are, like,
old-people drugs.

1989
01:23:47,390 --> 01:23:49,256
That's, like, what they
did on <i> the golden girls.</i>

1990
01:23:49,258 --> 01:23:50,824
Like, blanche did heroin.

1991
01:23:50,826 --> 01:23:53,160
All right,
I'll just sit here
and be silent.

1992
01:23:53,162 --> 01:23:55,763
Blanche never did heroin.

1993
01:23:55,765 --> 01:23:57,965
Okay, so, yangs,
you'll take my
dead roommate's spot.

1994
01:23:57,967 --> 01:23:59,299
Cool.
Dope.

1995
01:23:59,301 --> 01:24:01,168
Are you kidding me, yangs?
Are you fucking high?

1996
01:24:01,170 --> 01:24:02,970
Of course.
Yeah, I am.

1997
01:24:02,972 --> 01:24:04,271
Jesus Christ,
have you ever heard of,

1998
01:24:04,273 --> 01:24:05,706
"don't get high on
your own supply"?

1999
01:24:05,708 --> 01:24:06,840
We didn't.
Nah.

2000
01:24:06,842 --> 01:24:08,075
I didn't do that.

2001
01:24:08,077 --> 01:24:09,676
Yeah, I used his
and he used mine.

2002
01:24:09,678 --> 01:24:11,812
Okay, well, now I have
to make a fucking
example out of you.

2003
01:24:13,048 --> 01:24:13,847
That's a gun.
Yeah.

2004
01:24:13,849 --> 01:24:15,682
Who first?

2005
01:24:15,684 --> 01:24:17,384
You want to go first?
I don't want to die.

2006
01:24:17,386 --> 01:24:18,819
You die...
I don't want to die.

2007
01:24:18,821 --> 01:24:20,320
You want to do
rock paper scissors?
Rock paper scissors?

2008
01:24:20,322 --> 01:24:21,655
That's how we'll do it.
That's how we'll do it.

2009
01:24:22,057 --> 01:24:23,190
Fuck.

2010
01:24:23,658 --> 01:24:24,858
Fuck.

2011
01:24:24,860 --> 01:24:26,260
Fuck.

2012
01:24:26,262 --> 01:24:27,628
Yeah, we won't
figure this out.

2013
01:24:27,630 --> 01:24:29,229
I'll shoot both of you.
Ghost: Darling.

2014
01:24:29,231 --> 01:24:31,598
If you're going into
the family business,

2015
01:24:31,600 --> 01:24:33,500
you will have to
have a clean record.

2016
01:24:33,502 --> 01:24:36,203
That's why we have
these guys to do it for us.

2017
01:24:37,705 --> 01:24:39,773
Both: Oh, fuck. Jinx.

2018
01:24:39,775 --> 01:24:40,741
We got to move right now.

2019
01:24:40,743 --> 01:24:43,410
Both: Buy me a coke
in heaven. Jinx again.

2020
01:24:43,412 --> 01:24:44,611
Put your guns down!
Fucking guns down!

2021
01:24:45,146 --> 01:24:46,480
Doug?

2022
01:24:46,482 --> 01:24:48,949
My name's not Doug,
it's schmidt.

2023
01:24:48,951 --> 01:24:50,751
And guess what,
we're cops.
Boom.

2024
01:24:51,986 --> 01:24:53,454
Oh, my God.

2025
01:24:53,456 --> 01:24:55,689
Yeah, everybody knows.
Really?

2026
01:24:55,691 --> 01:24:59,126
You guys look like
the stars of a cop show
called <i> Hawaiian dads.</i>

2027
01:24:59,128 --> 01:25:01,728
All right,
enough is enough.
Boys, move in!

2028
01:25:01,730 --> 01:25:03,564
Oh, do we have company?
Ghost: Yeah!

2029
01:25:05,033 --> 01:25:06,834
Drop your guns.
Drop yours first.

2030
01:25:06,836 --> 01:25:09,169
We have way
more guns than you.
Drop your fucking guns.

2031
01:25:09,171 --> 01:25:10,370
Okay,
that's a good point.

2032
01:25:10,372 --> 01:25:12,106
Wow. (Laughs)

2033
01:25:12,108 --> 01:25:14,741
I mean, was this
really your entire plan?

2034
01:25:14,743 --> 01:25:16,176
Coming in here
with no backup?

2035
01:25:16,178 --> 01:25:19,213
Or maybe we had a far
more elaborate plan.
Mmm-hmm.

2036
01:25:19,215 --> 01:25:21,548
Maybe my partner has
a tracking device in
his pocket right now.

2037
01:25:21,550 --> 01:25:22,783
May... what?

2038
01:25:22,785 --> 01:25:24,451
You had the fucking
tracking device.
I don't have it.

2039
01:25:24,453 --> 01:25:26,086
That's the one fucking thing
you were supposed to remember.

2040
01:25:26,088 --> 01:25:27,988
Jenko: You're the smart
person. You do the
tracking device shit.

2041
01:25:27,990 --> 01:25:29,723
That's your domain.
I do the physical shit.

2042
01:25:29,725 --> 01:25:31,825
Schmidt: You know what,
I may drag you down
sometimes,

2043
01:25:31,827 --> 01:25:34,862
but every possible time
you can do something dumb,

2044
01:25:34,864 --> 01:25:36,330
you do the dumbest
possible thing.

2045
01:25:36,332 --> 01:25:37,998
No, the fucking
dumbest possible thing

2046
01:25:38,000 --> 01:25:39,833
is letting two cops
blah-blah-blah

2047
01:25:39,835 --> 01:25:42,402
while other cops are
getting in position
to bust their shit in.

2048
01:25:42,404 --> 01:25:44,071
Oh, so you mean I brought
the tracking device.

2049
01:25:44,073 --> 01:25:46,140
Yeah.
What's up now, huh?

2050
01:25:46,142 --> 01:25:47,674
That seemed like
such a real argument.

2051
01:25:47,676 --> 01:25:49,042
That's improv, bitch.

2052
01:25:49,044 --> 01:25:50,177
Move!

2053
01:25:51,946 --> 01:25:53,213
Spring break yourself, fool.

2054
01:25:55,116 --> 01:25:57,217
We shoot dicks off
here in jump street.

2055
01:26:00,388 --> 01:26:02,789
We're here, as well.

2056
01:26:02,791 --> 01:26:05,826
We jump street,
and we about to
jump in yo' ass.

2057
01:26:06,928 --> 01:26:08,529
Right in the crack.

2058
01:26:08,531 --> 01:26:09,897
Don't do it,
leatherface.

2059
01:26:09,899 --> 01:26:10,731
(Guns firing)

2060
01:26:12,367 --> 01:26:13,367
(Shouting)

2061
01:26:16,337 --> 01:26:16,937
Dickson:
He's got the drugs!

2062
01:26:22,777 --> 01:26:25,112
This is so boring.
No one's getting shot.

2063
01:26:25,114 --> 01:26:25,913
(Grunts)

2064
01:26:26,981 --> 01:26:28,415
(Laughs) Oh, my God.

2065
01:26:28,417 --> 01:26:31,785
Did you just get shot,
like, right after
I fucking said that?

2066
01:26:34,322 --> 01:26:35,322
Can I have your gun?
It's bigger.

2067
01:26:35,324 --> 01:26:36,857
(Indistinct shouting)

2068
01:26:36,859 --> 01:26:37,858
Stop! I'll shoot you
in the ass!

2069
01:26:37,860 --> 01:26:38,725
Dad!

2070
01:26:40,128 --> 01:26:42,196
Maya?

2071
01:26:42,198 --> 01:26:43,764
What are you
doing here?

2072
01:26:43,766 --> 01:26:44,898
This is a shoot-out.

2073
01:26:44,900 --> 01:26:46,500
You know what happens
in a shoot-out.

2074
01:26:46,502 --> 01:26:48,368
They always
kidnap the girl.

2075
01:26:48,370 --> 01:26:49,703
Not always.

2076
01:26:49,705 --> 01:26:51,438
Mercedes?
You're coming with me.

2077
01:26:51,440 --> 01:26:53,407
Bitch, please. I ain't
going nowhere with you.

2078
01:26:53,409 --> 01:26:54,841
(Gunshot)
(Screams)

2079
01:26:54,843 --> 01:26:55,876
(Groans)

2080
01:26:55,878 --> 01:26:57,110
Now.

2081
01:26:57,112 --> 01:26:58,212
Dad, what do I do?

2082
01:26:58,214 --> 01:26:58,979
Is that my bathing suit?

2083
01:27:00,982 --> 01:27:02,149
(All screaming)

2084
01:27:02,151 --> 01:27:03,417
Just ask. It's polite.

2085
01:27:05,386 --> 01:27:06,820
You shot me in
my foot! Wait!

2086
01:27:06,822 --> 01:27:08,488
Move! Move faster now!

2087
01:27:08,490 --> 01:27:11,058
I'm taking my time.
Shit, you shot me
in my goddamn foot.

2088
01:27:11,060 --> 01:27:12,259
Doug? Doug!

2089
01:27:12,261 --> 01:27:13,627
Maya!

2090
01:27:13,629 --> 01:27:15,095
Mercedes just took
my dad that way!

2091
01:27:15,097 --> 01:27:16,463
Okay, we're on it.

2092
01:27:18,399 --> 01:27:21,335
Dickson: If I die,
I'm gonna kill both
of you motherfuckers!

2093
01:27:21,337 --> 01:27:23,303
Fuck. How are we
gonna catch him now?
(Engine revving)

2094
01:27:26,040 --> 01:27:27,407
Lambo.

2095
01:27:30,478 --> 01:27:31,979
<i> Policia! Policia!</i>
Fuck off.

2096
01:27:32,981 --> 01:27:33,714
Shit, there's ghost!

2097
01:27:34,949 --> 01:27:36,116
What? What do we do?

2098
01:27:36,118 --> 01:27:37,484
Uh, we need to split up.

2099
01:27:38,219 --> 01:27:40,153
Are you okay with that?

2100
01:27:40,155 --> 01:27:41,221
Yeah, I can do it.

2101
01:27:41,223 --> 01:27:42,556
Are you sure?

2102
01:27:42,558 --> 01:27:44,358
I need to drive,
'cause you're
faster on foot.

2103
01:27:44,360 --> 01:27:45,826
What? I don't get
to drive the lambo?

2104
01:27:45,828 --> 01:27:47,761
No, you don't.
Come on, let's go!

2105
01:27:47,763 --> 01:27:49,596
But I want...
Who gives a shit about
the lambo? Just go!

2106
01:27:49,598 --> 01:27:50,697
Let go of
the fucking keys!
I can't let 'em go.

2107
01:27:50,699 --> 01:27:51,898
You're gonna
have to take 'em.

2108
01:27:51,900 --> 01:27:53,700
Take care of her, okay?
It'll be glorious,
I promise.

2109
01:27:55,036 --> 01:27:55,736
How do you
drive this thing?

2110
01:27:56,704 --> 01:27:58,272
You got to let
her drive you, bro.

2111
01:27:58,274 --> 01:27:59,339
(Grunting)

2112
01:28:01,009 --> 01:28:02,376
Schmidt:
I can't get in.

2113
01:28:05,113 --> 01:28:06,280
(Tires screeching)
Hey!

2114
01:28:06,282 --> 01:28:07,514
Look where you're going!

2115
01:28:08,182 --> 01:28:09,016
(Car honking)

2116
01:28:10,385 --> 01:28:11,551
It's so confusing!

2117
01:28:18,426 --> 01:28:19,993
Easy, bitch.
My hands are hurting.

2118
01:28:22,664 --> 01:28:23,530
Whoa!

2119
01:28:27,702 --> 01:28:29,436
You know who's
behind us in that car?

2120
01:28:29,438 --> 01:28:31,371
That's one of the best
drivers that we got.

2121
01:28:32,073 --> 01:28:33,206
Fuck!

2122
01:28:33,208 --> 01:28:35,342
Oh, shit.

2123
01:28:35,344 --> 01:28:36,877
Schmidt:
Fucking complicated.
What is this?

2124
01:28:38,379 --> 01:28:39,646
Holy shit!

2125
01:28:41,649 --> 01:28:43,483
You fucked up me
driving a lamborghini,
you dick!

2126
01:28:45,987 --> 01:28:46,753
Fuck you, doves!

2127
01:28:55,463 --> 01:28:57,964
Emcee: <i> Puerto, Mexico,</i>
<i> let's hear you get crazy!</i>

2128
01:28:57,966 --> 01:28:58,799
(All cheering)

2129
01:29:03,371 --> 01:29:04,504
It's like a Batmobile.

2130
01:29:04,506 --> 01:29:05,539
Come on, schmidt!

2131
01:29:08,409 --> 01:29:09,643
Old man coming through!

2132
01:29:12,080 --> 01:29:13,347
Excuse me,
excuse me, excuse me.

2133
01:29:13,349 --> 01:29:16,416
Brad! Spring break!

2134
01:29:16,418 --> 01:29:17,451
Jenko: Look,
I can't, all right?

2135
01:29:18,586 --> 01:29:20,320
Dude, I got to go.
I got to go.

2136
01:29:20,322 --> 01:29:21,822
This is quite enough.

2137
01:29:21,824 --> 01:29:23,690
You need to let me go
and drop all this.

2138
01:29:25,426 --> 01:29:26,426
Get out of the way!

2139
01:29:30,798 --> 01:29:33,900
Tokyo drift!

2140
01:29:36,137 --> 01:29:38,605
That was way too fast
and pretty...

2141
01:29:38,607 --> 01:29:40,407
Way too...
A little bit too furious.

2142
01:29:40,409 --> 01:29:42,809
Schmidt!
Get over here!
I'm handcuffed!

2143
01:29:42,811 --> 01:29:44,444
(Gunshot)
(All gasp)

2144
01:29:44,446 --> 01:29:46,480
Give it up, asshole!
And nice parking job!

2145
01:29:46,482 --> 01:29:48,081
Fuck! I'll be right back.

2146
01:29:48,083 --> 01:29:49,449
I gotta go.
I'll be right back. Sorry.

2147
01:29:49,451 --> 01:29:51,451
That's a direct order,
motherfucker!
Come over here!

2148
01:29:59,927 --> 01:30:01,795
Mercedes: You are
so old and weak!

2149
01:30:01,797 --> 01:30:04,131
Drop the fucking gun!
Seriously!

2150
01:30:04,133 --> 01:30:05,599
Mercedes: Get your
wrinkly hands off me!

2151
01:30:10,071 --> 01:30:11,204
Where the hell
have you been?

2152
01:30:11,206 --> 01:30:12,539
Looking for you.

2153
01:30:12,541 --> 01:30:14,207
I've been running
like crazy!

2154
01:30:14,209 --> 01:30:15,475
Hey! Hey.

2155
01:30:17,678 --> 01:30:19,546
Want to fight
like a man?

2156
01:30:19,548 --> 01:30:21,381
Then you better
fight like two men.

2157
01:30:21,383 --> 01:30:22,182
Hey.
Hey.

2158
01:30:23,351 --> 01:30:25,552
Really? More twins?

2159
01:30:25,554 --> 01:30:26,553
(Grunting)

2160
01:30:28,656 --> 01:30:30,023
Get up, old man river!

2161
01:30:30,758 --> 01:30:32,626
Come on!
Hey.

2162
01:30:32,628 --> 01:30:34,127
Get up and hit me,
you fucking pussy!

2163
01:30:34,129 --> 01:30:36,129
I'm not gonna fight
a girl, so just stop!

2164
01:30:36,131 --> 01:30:37,497
It shouldn't matter.

2165
01:30:37,499 --> 01:30:39,499
If you thought
of me as a person
instead of a woman,

2166
01:30:39,501 --> 01:30:41,001
you would hit me and
not feel bad about it.

2167
01:30:42,904 --> 01:30:44,571
Okay.
Bring it!

2168
01:30:44,573 --> 01:30:46,106
I'm ready.

2169
01:30:46,108 --> 01:30:47,641
It's on now, dawg.

2170
01:30:48,142 --> 01:30:49,443
Girl fight.

2171
01:30:50,144 --> 01:30:51,511
(Both grunt)

2172
01:30:51,513 --> 01:30:53,847
Oh. Oh.
Oh, my God.

2173
01:30:53,849 --> 01:30:55,415
Is there blood in my eye?
Oh, my God.
Are you all right?

2174
01:30:55,417 --> 01:30:56,850
I think there's
blood in my eye.

2175
01:30:56,852 --> 01:30:58,452
Fucking learn
how to hit!

2176
01:30:58,454 --> 01:30:59,453
(Grunts)

2177
01:31:00,388 --> 01:31:02,088
That's a little better!

2178
01:31:02,090 --> 01:31:03,657
That's a little better,
motherfucker!
Come on! Come on!

2179
01:31:04,625 --> 01:31:05,659
(Grunts)

2180
01:31:07,862 --> 01:31:09,963
No! No!
What?

2181
01:31:09,965 --> 01:31:11,898
What were you doing?
What am I doing?

2182
01:31:11,900 --> 01:31:13,166
Why'd you try
to kiss me?

2183
01:31:13,168 --> 01:31:14,334
I didn't fucking
try and kiss you!

2184
01:31:14,336 --> 01:31:16,536
Yes, you did.
Ooh, you're so weird!

2185
01:31:16,538 --> 01:31:18,371
You're fucking
Mr. and Mrs. Smith-ing me.

2186
01:31:18,373 --> 01:31:19,873
I'm not
Mr. and Mrs. Smith-ing you.

2187
01:31:19,875 --> 01:31:21,241
This wasn't
a sexy fight.

2188
01:31:21,243 --> 01:31:23,543
Oh, like you haven't
wanted to kiss me
the whole time.

2189
01:31:23,545 --> 01:31:25,879
I never once
wanted to kiss you!

2190
01:31:25,881 --> 01:31:27,747
Never! No!

2191
01:31:27,749 --> 01:31:28,849
You just did it again!
Stop it!
Stop!

2192
01:31:28,851 --> 01:31:30,383
You're making a face
that is sexy!

2193
01:31:30,385 --> 01:31:32,185
I don't even want
to kiss you!

2194
01:31:32,187 --> 01:31:33,553
Then stop trying!

2195
01:31:33,555 --> 01:31:34,988
You keep trying!

2196
01:31:34,990 --> 01:31:36,623
I've never tried
to kiss you.

2197
01:31:36,625 --> 01:31:37,557
You gave me
"kiss me" eyes.

2198
01:31:37,559 --> 01:31:38,959
No, I didn't.

2199
01:31:38,961 --> 01:31:40,794
The eyes were
"I just got punched
in the face" eyes.

2200
01:31:40,796 --> 01:31:42,062
They weren't
"kiss me" eyes.

2201
01:31:42,064 --> 01:31:43,296
I don't even like you!

2202
01:31:43,298 --> 01:31:45,065
Neither do I,
so stop kissing me!

2203
01:31:45,067 --> 01:31:46,199
Okay!

2204
01:31:47,435 --> 01:31:49,202
No! You're leaning
in again!

2205
01:31:49,204 --> 01:31:50,737
I didn't know
if we were gonna
punch or kiss!

2206
01:31:50,739 --> 01:31:52,239
You're making this
so uncomfortable.

2207
01:31:52,241 --> 01:31:55,108
This is the most
uncomfortable fistfight
I've ever been in.

2208
01:31:55,110 --> 01:31:56,643
I'm gonna give you
an out by punching
you in the face.

2209
01:31:56,645 --> 01:31:58,111
Okay?
Okay.

2210
01:31:58,113 --> 01:31:59,813
And then we're gonna
go back to fighting

2211
01:31:59,815 --> 01:32:01,081
and we'll pretend
this never happened,

2212
01:32:01,083 --> 01:32:02,148
'cause I feel
so awkward.

2213
01:32:03,084 --> 01:32:03,984
(Grunts)

2214
01:32:06,053 --> 01:32:06,853
(Cheering)

2215
01:32:17,565 --> 01:32:18,932
<i> I want to see you</i>
<i> get crazy!</i>

2216
01:32:24,338 --> 01:32:25,205
Whoo!

2217
01:32:47,461 --> 01:32:48,261
(Vomiting)

2218
01:32:50,898 --> 01:32:52,799
I fucking hate
spring break!

2219
01:32:56,003 --> 01:32:57,270
Fuck!

2220
01:32:57,272 --> 01:32:58,171
Ow!

2221
01:33:02,843 --> 01:33:04,344
Are you kidding me?
It's plastic.

2222
01:33:04,346 --> 01:33:05,979
Doesn't even hurt!
Okay...

2223
01:33:05,981 --> 01:33:07,080
This isn't
the spring break
you imagined?

2224
01:33:08,082 --> 01:33:09,115
How about this?
You want a little fun?

2225
01:33:09,117 --> 01:33:10,216
What is that?

2226
01:33:10,218 --> 01:33:11,518
Get wet, baby!

2227
01:33:11,520 --> 01:33:13,186
So much lube in my face!

2228
01:33:14,422 --> 01:33:15,589
Oh.

2229
01:33:15,591 --> 01:33:17,057
Lube on my face.

2230
01:33:20,161 --> 01:33:22,729
You're so violent!

2231
01:33:22,731 --> 01:33:24,831
Get off me unless
you're gonna fuck me!

2232
01:33:24,833 --> 01:33:26,099
I'm not gonna fuck you!

2233
01:33:26,101 --> 01:33:27,767
Are we gonna fuck?
No, we're not!

2234
01:33:27,769 --> 01:33:29,035
Is that what's happening?

2235
01:33:29,037 --> 01:33:30,637
No! I'm not gonna
fuck you, ever!

2236
01:33:30,639 --> 01:33:32,072
Get off!

2237
01:33:40,548 --> 01:33:41,715
Hey!

2238
01:33:42,483 --> 01:33:43,683
Hey!

2239
01:33:43,685 --> 01:33:44,918
(People gasp)

2240
01:33:44,920 --> 01:33:46,453
What? What are
you gonna do?

2241
01:33:46,455 --> 01:33:48,655
Choke me with your
liver-spotted hands?

2242
01:33:48,657 --> 01:33:50,423
You gonna push me over
with your Walker?

2243
01:33:50,425 --> 01:33:52,025
I'm impressed you
caught up to me.

2244
01:33:52,027 --> 01:33:53,326
You probably
haven't run that fast

2245
01:33:53,328 --> 01:33:54,794
since you played
stickball in the field

2246
01:33:54,796 --> 01:33:56,696
behind old pop
wiggleby's sweet shop.

2247
01:33:57,598 --> 01:33:59,366
Freeze, bitch.
Oh, thank God.

2248
01:33:59,368 --> 01:34:01,935
Look who got off
the motherfucking leash.

2249
01:34:01,937 --> 01:34:03,370
Now who's the damsel
in distress?
Schmidt: Fuck!

2250
01:34:03,372 --> 01:34:05,772
Well, I guess it's him.

2251
01:34:05,774 --> 01:34:06,940
I don't have
a clean shot, schmidt.

2252
01:34:06,942 --> 01:34:08,208
Then don't take the shot!

2253
01:34:08,210 --> 01:34:10,276
Maybe I want to
take a dirty shot.

2254
01:34:10,278 --> 01:34:12,412
Kind of like the dirty shot
you took on my daughter.

2255
01:34:12,414 --> 01:34:15,649
I didn't take a dirty shot
on your daughter, okay?

2256
01:34:15,651 --> 01:34:18,385
We talked a lot,
and we care about
each other.

2257
01:34:18,387 --> 01:34:20,053
All the good
qualities you have,

2258
01:34:20,055 --> 01:34:21,988
I can feel
inside of Maya.

2259
01:34:21,990 --> 01:34:23,223
I'm gonna take the shot.

2260
01:34:23,225 --> 01:34:24,924
Don't take the shot.

2261
01:34:24,926 --> 01:34:26,192
I can shoot right
through your shoulder,

2262
01:34:26,194 --> 01:34:27,794
hit the bitch
right in the chest.

2263
01:34:27,796 --> 01:34:29,629
Don't take the shot.
I'm taking the shot.

2264
01:34:29,631 --> 01:34:30,864
I'll take the
fucking shot.

2265
01:34:30,866 --> 01:34:32,465
Nobody take
the shot before me.

2266
01:34:32,467 --> 01:34:34,300
Mercedes: How about we
take it at the same time?
No one take a shot.

2267
01:34:34,302 --> 01:34:35,902
Wait, wait, wait, wait!

2268
01:34:38,973 --> 01:34:41,041
Shit! You have the right
to remain silent...

2269
01:34:41,043 --> 01:34:42,375
Dickson: No, no, no,
I got this.

2270
01:34:42,377 --> 01:34:44,144
You go handle the ghost.
He's on the roof.

2271
01:34:44,146 --> 01:34:45,712
I'm on it.
I got it.

2272
01:34:45,714 --> 01:34:47,814
Dickson:
What you looking at?
Oh!

2273
01:34:47,816 --> 01:34:49,315
Good job on the cuffs,
baby girl.

2274
01:34:55,823 --> 01:34:57,390
(Panting)

2275
01:34:57,392 --> 01:34:59,092
So many fucking stairs.

2276
01:35:04,799 --> 01:35:07,067
It's me! It's me!
Shit.

2277
01:35:07,069 --> 01:35:08,101
(Chuckles)
You made it, dude.
Did you get Mercedes?

2278
01:35:08,903 --> 01:35:10,403
Yeah. All by myself.

2279
01:35:10,405 --> 01:35:12,138
Really?

2280
01:35:12,140 --> 01:35:14,741
Mainly by myself.
Okay.

2281
01:35:14,743 --> 01:35:16,676
And, dude, you were right,
that lambo...

2282
01:35:16,678 --> 01:35:18,078
Just can't hear
that right now.

2283
01:35:18,080 --> 01:35:19,612
It's a shitty-made car.
It's not good.

2284
01:35:19,614 --> 01:35:20,880
Hey, let's go.
We got to go.

2285
01:35:20,882 --> 01:35:21,715
How many bullets
you got left?

2286
01:35:22,550 --> 01:35:24,350
None.

2287
01:35:24,352 --> 01:35:25,218
Act like you
have bullets, then.

2288
01:35:32,626 --> 01:35:33,927
(Helicopter whirring)

2289
01:35:36,697 --> 01:35:38,465
We gotta go!

2290
01:35:38,467 --> 01:35:39,499
We have to wait
for pudding!

2291
01:35:46,440 --> 01:35:49,142
Jenko!

2292
01:36:01,122 --> 01:36:02,188
Go, go!

2293
01:36:04,258 --> 01:36:05,558
(Grunts)

2294
01:36:05,560 --> 01:36:07,227
Here, take this.
Okay.

2295
01:36:07,229 --> 01:36:08,328
I tried to take
a bullet for you, man.

2296
01:36:08,330 --> 01:36:09,696
Yeah. But you didn't.

2297
01:36:09,698 --> 01:36:11,731
But I tried.
It's the thought
that matters.

2298
01:36:11,733 --> 01:36:12,899
No, it's not
the thought that counts.

2299
01:36:12,901 --> 01:36:14,033
It's fucking
taking the bullet.

2300
01:36:18,372 --> 01:36:19,506
Cover me.
I'm gonna go long.

2301
01:36:20,141 --> 01:36:21,241
Okay.

2302
01:36:27,181 --> 01:36:28,114
(Clicks)

2303
01:36:37,892 --> 01:36:38,958
(Grunts)

2304
01:36:45,332 --> 01:36:48,034
Bye-bye, Terminator!

2305
01:37:01,949 --> 01:37:03,583
Hey! Get off
of my chopper!

2306
01:37:04,618 --> 01:37:06,186
Can you shake him off?

2307
01:37:06,188 --> 01:37:08,555
I'm coming for you,
motherfucker!

2308
01:37:08,557 --> 01:37:09,989
Ghost: Come on,
just wiggle the stick
back and forth!

2309
01:37:12,026 --> 01:37:13,459
He's only got one arm!

2310
01:37:13,461 --> 01:37:15,295
I only need one arm to
punch you in the dick.

2311
01:37:16,964 --> 01:37:18,164
Shake him off! Shake him off!

2312
01:37:18,866 --> 01:37:20,366
Don't be a pussy!

2313
01:37:49,763 --> 01:37:50,597
(Screams)

2314
01:37:52,366 --> 01:37:53,933
Holy shit!

2315
01:37:53,935 --> 01:37:55,835
Schmidt: I did it!

2316
01:37:55,837 --> 01:37:57,604
I look so fucking badass!

2317
01:37:57,606 --> 01:37:58,705
Oh, my God, you flew!

2318
01:37:58,707 --> 01:37:59,772
This is crazy!

2319
01:37:59,774 --> 01:38:00,974
You made the leap, man!

2320
01:38:00,976 --> 01:38:02,342
Why'd you do that?

2321
01:38:02,344 --> 01:38:04,010
Schmidt:
'Cause you did it!

2322
01:38:04,012 --> 01:38:05,411
I couldn't leave
you hanging, man!

2323
01:38:05,413 --> 01:38:06,746
What are you talking about?
I was fine. I had it.

2324
01:38:06,748 --> 01:38:07,580
You weren't...

2325
01:38:13,554 --> 01:38:15,088
(Grunting)

2326
01:38:15,090 --> 01:38:17,023
I got you!
Shit! Schmidt!

2327
01:38:17,025 --> 01:38:18,191
I got you!

2328
01:38:18,193 --> 01:38:19,392
You saved my life!

2329
01:38:19,960 --> 01:38:20,994
(Schmidt yells)

2330
01:38:29,670 --> 01:38:30,470
(Cheering)

2331
01:38:31,639 --> 01:38:33,907
I just realized something.

2332
01:38:33,909 --> 01:38:35,842
You don't
hold me down, man.

2333
01:38:35,844 --> 01:38:37,076
You lift me up.

2334
01:38:37,078 --> 01:38:39,579
Literally
and figuratively.

2335
01:38:39,581 --> 01:38:40,580
Yeah, I know.
I meant both.

2336
01:38:41,482 --> 01:38:43,349
You don't drag me down,
either, man.

2337
01:38:43,351 --> 01:38:44,984
I mean, except right now.

2338
01:38:44,986 --> 01:38:47,420
You're dragging me down.
You're really heavy.

2339
01:38:47,422 --> 01:38:49,455
Hey, listen, there's
a grenade in my shorts.

2340
01:38:49,457 --> 01:38:50,690
Can you reach it?

2341
01:38:50,692 --> 01:38:52,358
You gotta go in
from underneath.

2342
01:38:52,360 --> 01:38:53,459
Oh, shit!

2343
01:38:57,064 --> 01:38:58,498
Is that it?
That's my dick.

2344
01:38:58,500 --> 01:38:59,699
What about that?

2345
01:38:59,701 --> 01:39:00,433
That's my dick also.

2346
01:39:01,001 --> 01:39:02,502
(Schmidt yells)

2347
01:39:02,504 --> 01:39:04,337
Why is it hard?

2348
01:39:04,339 --> 01:39:06,406
I have so much
adrenaline right now!

2349
01:39:06,408 --> 01:39:08,141
Jenko: Is that it?
(Laughing)
You're tickling me.

2350
01:39:08,143 --> 01:39:09,409
I can't find it!

2351
01:39:09,411 --> 01:39:10,276
That's it! Grab it!

2352
01:39:12,046 --> 01:39:13,212
Yes!

2353
01:39:13,214 --> 01:39:14,914
No, I got it in my mouth.

2354
01:39:14,916 --> 01:39:16,215
Say something cool
when you throw it!

2355
01:39:16,217 --> 01:39:18,184
One, two, three!

2356
01:39:20,054 --> 01:39:22,221
Something cool!

2357
01:39:27,628 --> 01:39:28,428
They're gone!

2358
01:39:29,930 --> 01:39:31,564
Oh, I feel so...

2359
01:39:37,871 --> 01:39:39,138
Whoo-hoo!

2360
01:39:39,907 --> 01:39:41,174
(Cheering)

2361
01:40:06,567 --> 01:40:07,867
We did it!

2362
01:40:07,869 --> 01:40:09,035
Dude, fuck, I'm... ow!

2363
01:40:09,037 --> 01:40:11,070
Oh! Shit, sorry.

2364
01:40:11,072 --> 01:40:12,405
Dude, I miss you
so much, man.

2365
01:40:12,407 --> 01:40:13,906
I miss you, too.

2366
01:40:13,908 --> 01:40:15,808
You were like a tiny
little flower seed

2367
01:40:15,810 --> 01:40:18,411
and I was clenching you
in my fist.

2368
01:40:18,413 --> 01:40:20,880
But a flower,
it can't grow in a fist.

2369
01:40:20,882 --> 01:40:24,217
A little seed needs
to fly away free
and find its soil.

2370
01:40:24,219 --> 01:40:27,253
Yeah, I know.
I tried to soil myself and,
dude, I didn't like it.

2371
01:40:27,255 --> 01:40:29,489
I wanted a relationship
without friction.

2372
01:40:29,491 --> 01:40:31,591
Dude, you need friction
to create fire.

2373
01:40:31,593 --> 01:40:34,360
And that's what we have,
we have fire.

2374
01:40:34,362 --> 01:40:36,596
Dude, I'm in.
I'm all in.

2375
01:40:36,598 --> 01:40:38,097
Thank God.

2376
01:40:38,099 --> 01:40:40,933
Dude, this is what
I've always wanted.
Just me and you, buddy.

2377
01:40:40,935 --> 01:40:42,335
I love you.

2378
01:40:42,337 --> 01:40:43,703
Me, too, man.
I love you, man.

2379
01:40:44,505 --> 01:40:45,338
(All cheering)

2380
01:40:46,640 --> 01:40:48,441
You know what?

2381
01:40:48,443 --> 01:40:49,575
That's who he should
be with, man.

2382
01:40:51,478 --> 01:40:53,746
What?

2383
01:40:53,748 --> 01:40:55,715
Hey, what'd you say
when you threw
the grenade up there?

2384
01:40:55,717 --> 01:40:56,883
(Laughs) I said,
"something cool."

2385
01:40:56,885 --> 01:40:58,384
What did you say?

2386
01:40:58,386 --> 01:41:00,153
It was "something cool."
No, but what'd you say?

2387
01:41:00,155 --> 01:41:01,421
Yeah, I know.
I said, "something cool."

2388
01:41:04,491 --> 01:41:07,226
I didn't expect
spring break to be
this stinky.

2389
01:41:07,228 --> 01:41:09,362
It's pretty gross.

2390
01:41:09,364 --> 01:41:12,065
Man, we're getting
too old for this shit.

2391
01:41:12,067 --> 01:41:14,667
We started off
too old for this shit.

2392
01:41:14,669 --> 01:41:16,669
(Chuckling)
You ain't lying
about that.

2393
01:41:19,273 --> 01:41:23,176
Dude, we're even
about the arm thing,
okay? Right?

2394
01:41:23,178 --> 01:41:24,277
What? What do
you want to do?
(Laughs)

2395
01:41:24,279 --> 01:41:25,545
Don't move.
Fuck. All right.

2396
01:41:25,547 --> 01:41:27,346
Just get it over with,
all right?
Don't move.

2397
01:41:27,348 --> 01:41:28,781
One...
Just graze my arm.

2398
01:41:28,783 --> 01:41:30,416
I don't want you
to hit the bone.
...Two,

2399
01:41:30,418 --> 01:41:32,151
three.
(Bullet ricochets)

2400
01:41:32,153 --> 01:41:34,120
Fuck! Fuck!
Shit!

2401
01:41:34,122 --> 01:41:35,688
Oh, my God,
are you all right?
Shit!

2402
01:41:35,690 --> 01:41:37,723
Why, man? Why am I always
getting hurt around you?

2403
01:41:37,725 --> 01:41:38,825
Jenko, what are you doing?
Jenko: Oh, fuck you.

2404
01:41:38,827 --> 01:41:40,693
Fuck you, schmidt.
Stop dicking around.

2405
01:41:40,695 --> 01:41:42,962
Hey, cap.
Congratulations, you two.

2406
01:41:42,964 --> 01:41:45,731
You managed to
un-fuck up the situation
you originally fucked up.

2407
01:41:45,733 --> 01:41:47,233
Thanks.

2408
01:41:47,235 --> 01:41:48,601
I wish you can
un-fuck my daughter,

2409
01:41:48,603 --> 01:41:50,470
but I'm gonna let
that be the past.

2410
01:41:50,472 --> 01:41:52,939
Now, for your next mission,

2411
01:41:52,941 --> 01:41:56,008
you two sons of bitches
are going to medical school.

2412
01:41:56,010 --> 01:41:57,477
What?

2413
01:41:57,479 --> 01:41:58,511
(Yelling)
(Guns firing)

2414
01:42:07,588 --> 01:42:09,755
This time,
foreign exchange students.

2415
01:42:09,757 --> 01:42:10,823
Awesome.
Yes!

2416
01:42:10,825 --> 01:42:11,691
In Russia.

2417
01:42:12,192 --> 01:42:13,226
What?

2418
01:42:15,129 --> 01:42:16,229
<i> Do svidanya.</i>

2419
01:42:16,231 --> 01:42:17,497
Vodka soda.

2420
01:42:22,736 --> 01:42:25,238
Next assignment.
A semester at sea.

2421
01:42:38,185 --> 01:42:41,487
You two sons of bitches
are going to culinary school.

2422
01:42:41,489 --> 01:42:42,822
There's a microchip
in this empanada.

2423
01:42:42,824 --> 01:42:44,857
Old family recipe.

2424
01:42:44,859 --> 01:42:46,225
Best to keep it a secret.

2425
01:42:48,428 --> 01:42:49,862
Oh, shit!

2426
01:43:00,174 --> 01:43:01,841
New assignment...

2427
01:43:01,843 --> 01:43:03,376
Cap, does schmidt look
any different to you?

2428
01:43:04,077 --> 01:43:05,778
Dickson: No.
That's schmidt.

2429
01:43:05,780 --> 01:43:07,280
I don't know what you're
talking about, man.

2430
01:43:07,282 --> 01:43:08,381
He look exactly
the same to me.

2431
01:43:08,383 --> 01:43:09,949
I got new glasses.

2432
01:43:09,951 --> 01:43:12,618
Yeah, man, he just got some
new glasses, man. God damn.

2433
01:43:12,620 --> 01:43:13,653
(Whispering) No one's
gonna fucking notice.

2434
01:43:16,089 --> 01:43:17,523
Let's do this, schmidt.

2435
01:43:17,525 --> 01:43:20,526
Yeah. Just like we
always do, Jenkins.

2436
01:43:20,528 --> 01:43:22,261
(Whispering)
It's jenko.
Sorry.

2437
01:43:30,537 --> 01:43:33,005
I'm really,
really glad you're
back, schmidt.

2438
01:43:33,007 --> 01:43:34,740
What are you talking about?
What contract dispute?

2439
01:43:34,742 --> 01:43:36,876
I've been here
the whole time.

2440
01:43:36,878 --> 01:43:37,877
Dickson: Man,
shut the fuck up.

2441
01:43:37,879 --> 01:43:39,445
How about
a flight academy?

2442
01:43:50,557 --> 01:43:53,793
Undercover just got
a whole lot sexier.

2443
01:44:02,536 --> 01:44:03,836
You're jump street,
right?

2444
01:44:03,838 --> 01:44:05,004
Yeah. How the fuck
do you know that?

2445
01:44:05,572 --> 01:44:07,106
I'm booker.

2446
01:44:07,108 --> 01:44:08,608
Oh, shit.
Man, you're a legend.

2447
01:44:15,082 --> 01:44:15,848
Traffic school!

2448
01:44:16,817 --> 01:44:17,850
Military school.

2449
01:44:18,852 --> 01:44:19,752
Scuba class.

2450
01:44:20,754 --> 01:44:21,787
Dance academy.

2451
01:44:21,789 --> 01:44:23,256
Yes.

2452
01:44:23,258 --> 01:44:26,325
Finally something
I'm amazing at.

2453
01:44:26,327 --> 01:44:29,328
<i> ¶ Your friends'll be there</i>
<i> when your back is to the wall</i>

2454
01:44:30,163 --> 01:44:31,497
<i> ¶ you'll find you need us</i>

2455
01:44:31,499 --> 01:44:33,566
<i> ¶ 'cause there's</i>
<i> no one else to call</i>

2456
01:44:33,568 --> 01:44:36,636
dickson: <i> You sons of bitches</i>
<i> is gonna be in a video game.</i>

2457
01:44:37,904 --> 01:44:39,105
Schmidt:
<i> Let's blow shit up.</i>

2458
01:44:39,107 --> 01:44:40,740
Jenko:
<i> Jump street style.</i>

2459
01:44:40,742 --> 01:44:42,508
<i> ¶ We out of control</i>
<i> all over the place</i>

2460
01:44:42,510 --> 01:44:44,510
<i> ¶ and somebody gotta</i>
<i> put it to a stop, quick</i>

2461
01:44:44,512 --> 01:44:46,512
<i> ¶ out on the road</i>
<i> all up in your face</i>

2462
01:44:46,514 --> 01:44:49,382
jenko:
<i> Get ready for a lifetime of</i>
<i> being badass motherfuckers.</i>

2463
01:44:49,384 --> 01:44:52,018
Schmidt:
<i> It's inking in my mouth!</i>

2464
01:44:52,020 --> 01:44:52,852
Dickson: <i> Don't fuck</i>
<i> my daughter.</i>

2465
01:44:54,688 --> 01:44:55,521
<i> ¶ ¶</i>

2466
01:44:57,691 --> 01:44:59,492
(sirens blaring)

2467
01:44:59,494 --> 01:45:02,662
<i> ¶ They're the jump street</i>
<i> and 'bout to jump up</i>
<i> in your ass</i>

2468
01:45:02,664 --> 01:45:05,965
<i> ¶ this the special unit</i>
<i> that's designed</i>
<i> to keep it quiet</i>

2469
01:45:05,967 --> 01:45:09,969
<i> ¶ we infiltrate the dealers</i>
<i> and we find the damn suppliers</i>

2470
01:45:09,971 --> 01:45:13,205
<i> ¶ don't need permission</i>
<i> to decide what you believe</i>

2471
01:45:13,207 --> 01:45:16,042
<i> ¶ say jump,</i>
<i> jumping down on jump street</i>

2472
01:45:16,044 --> 01:45:17,610
all right,
new assignment.

2473
01:45:18,178 --> 01:45:19,779
Six hours of makeup?

2474
01:45:20,947 --> 01:45:22,348
We're getting too old
for this shit.

2475
01:45:22,350 --> 01:45:23,316
(Chuckling) Nice.

2476
01:45:23,817 --> 01:45:25,284
<i> ¶ ¶</i>

2477
01:45:25,286 --> 01:45:26,652
<i> ¶ wait, we just here</i>
<i> trying to find us</i>

2478
01:45:26,654 --> 01:45:28,354
<i> ¶ schmidt went lookin',</i>
<i> till he found love</i>

2479
01:45:28,356 --> 01:45:30,222
<i> ¶ got his life sweet,</i>
<i> bon appetit</i>

2480
01:45:30,224 --> 01:45:31,924
<i> ¶ spring break, bitch,</i>
<i> throw a party on the beach</i>

2481
01:45:31,926 --> 01:45:33,693
<i> ¶ shit did change,</i>
<i> but all that means</i>

2482
01:45:33,695 --> 01:45:34,994
<i> ¶ is that your real friends</i>
<i> don't ever leave</i>

2483
01:45:35,796 --> 01:45:37,396
<i> ¶ will it ever be complete?</i>

2484
01:45:37,398 --> 01:45:38,998
<i> ¶ Jump street</i>
<i> won't ever cease</i>

2485
01:45:39,000 --> 01:45:40,800
<i> ¶ ever cease</i>
<i> ever cease</i>

2486
01:45:40,802 --> 01:45:42,668
<i> ¶ ever cease</i>
<i> ever cease</i>

2487
01:45:42,670 --> 01:45:44,470
<i> ¶ ever cease</i>
<i> ever cease</i>

2488
01:45:44,472 --> 01:45:45,971
<i> ¶ ever cease</i>
<i> ever cease</i>

2489
01:45:45,973 --> 01:45:47,807
<i> ¶ ever cease</i>
<i> ever cease</i>

2490
01:45:47,809 --> 01:45:49,008
<i> ¶ ever cease</i>
<i> ever cease ¶</i>

2491
01:45:52,646 --> 01:45:54,447
both: <i> Something cool!</i>

2492
01:46:02,756 --> 01:46:04,523
<i> ¶ ¶</i>

2493
01:46:04,525 --> 01:46:07,360
<i> ¶ we're gonna live forever</i>

2494
01:46:10,597 --> 01:46:13,799
<i> ¶ we're gonna live forever</i>

2495
01:46:13,801 --> 01:46:16,635
<i> ¶ we're gonna live for</i>
<i> we're gonna live for</i>

2496
01:46:16,637 --> 01:46:19,638
<i> ¶ we're gonna live for</i>
<i> we're gonna live for</i>

2497
01:46:19,640 --> 01:46:22,108
<i> ¶ we're gonna live for</i>
<i> we're gonna live for</i>

2498
01:46:25,746 --> 01:46:29,982
<i> ¶ yeah, me and my homie</i>
<i> this is aye</i>

2499
01:46:29,984 --> 01:46:32,985
<i> ¶ and it's going down</i>
<i> like a fire drill</i>

2500
01:46:32,987 --> 01:46:35,988
<i> ¶ came a long way,</i>
<i> now we part here</i>

2501
01:46:35,990 --> 01:46:38,791
<i> ¶ and we still running shit,</i>
<i> call it diarrhea</i>

2502
01:46:38,793 --> 01:46:40,526
<i> ¶ coming up together</i>
<i> like them good fellas</i>

2503
01:46:40,528 --> 01:46:41,827
<i> ¶ heart through the loop</i>

2504
01:46:41,829 --> 01:46:43,562
<i> ¶ holding down, keep it</i>
<i> real in these streets</i>

2505
01:46:43,564 --> 01:46:45,030
<i> ¶ back to the roof</i>

2506
01:46:45,032 --> 01:46:47,800
<i> ¶ anywhere, anytime I got</i>
<i> your back like a spine</i>

2507
01:46:47,802 --> 01:46:51,070
<i> ¶ my homies never left behind</i>
<i> my whole team get to shine</i>

2508
01:46:51,072 --> 01:46:54,039
<i> ¶ the world has opened up</i>
<i> that's why we're blowing up</i>

2509
01:46:54,041 --> 01:46:56,976
<i> ¶ that's why we rolling up</i>
<i> drinking till we throw up</i>

2510
01:46:56,978 --> 01:47:00,112
<i> ¶ the way we get this cheddar,</i>
<i> there ain't nobody better</i>

2511
01:47:00,114 --> 01:47:03,382
<i> ¶ write our names in the sky</i>
<i> 'cause we gonna live forever</i>

2512
01:47:03,384 --> 01:47:04,817
<i> ¶ live forever, man</i>

2513
01:47:04,819 --> 01:47:07,686
<i> ¶ we're gonna live forever</i>

2514
01:47:10,791 --> 01:47:14,493
<i> ¶ we're gonna live forever</i>

2515
01:47:14,495 --> 01:47:16,962
<i> ¶ we're gonna live for</i>
<i> we're gonna live for</i>

2516
01:47:16,964 --> 01:47:19,965
<i> ¶ we're gonna live for</i>
<i> we're gonna live for</i>

2517
01:47:19,967 --> 01:47:22,568
<i> ¶ we're gonna live for</i>
<i> we're gonna live for</i>

2518
01:47:27,374 --> 01:47:30,509
<i> ¶ life of the party,</i>
<i> patron and bacardi</i>

2519
01:47:30,511 --> 01:47:33,078
<i> ¶ get faded, get sloppy, and</i>
<i> all up in that chick's body</i>

2520
01:47:33,080 --> 01:47:34,780
<i> ¶ came up with</i>
<i> the people that's real</i>

2521
01:47:34,782 --> 01:47:36,015
<i> ¶ ticket to the meal</i>

2522
01:47:36,017 --> 01:47:37,683
<i> ¶ now like it,</i>
<i> we all together</i>

2523
01:47:37,685 --> 01:47:39,218
<i> ¶ that's just how it is</i>

2524
01:47:39,220 --> 01:47:40,920
<i> ¶ I'm throwed</i>
<i> like a strike out</i>

2525
01:47:40,922 --> 01:47:42,254
<i> ¶ shine brighter</i>
<i> than a lighthouse</i>

2526
01:47:42,256 --> 01:47:43,656
<i> ¶ bigger than</i>
<i> the white house</i>

2527
01:47:43,658 --> 01:47:45,157
<i> ¶ go against my team,</i>
<i> get wiped out</i>

2528
01:47:45,159 --> 01:47:46,559
<i> ¶ got them choppers</i>
<i> like troopers</i>

2529
01:47:46,561 --> 01:47:48,260
<i> ¶ don't make me</i>
<i> split your head</i>

2530
01:47:48,262 --> 01:47:50,930
<i> ¶ my lil' homie left up here,</i>
<i> he'll smoke ya like a cig</i>

2531
01:47:52,966 --> 01:47:55,835
<i> ¶ we're gonna live forever</i>

2532
01:47:59,039 --> 01:48:02,541
<i> ¶ we're gonna live forever</i>

2533
01:48:02,543 --> 01:48:05,177
<i> ¶ we're gonna live for</i>
<i> we're gonna live for</i>

2534
01:48:05,179 --> 01:48:08,147
<i> ¶ we're gonna live for</i>
<i> we're gonna live for</i>

2535
01:48:08,149 --> 01:48:10,850
<i> ¶ we're gonna live for</i>
<i> we're gonna live for</i>

2536
01:48:41,481 --> 01:48:44,550
<i> ¶ we're gonna live forever</i>

2537
01:48:47,454 --> 01:48:50,623
<i> ¶ we're gonna live forever</i>

2538
01:48:50,625 --> 01:48:53,659
<i> ¶ we're gonna live for</i>
<i> we're gonna live for</i>

2539
01:48:53,661 --> 01:48:56,462
<i> ¶ we're gonna live for</i>
<i> we're gonna live for</i>

2540
01:48:56,464 --> 01:48:58,998
<i> ¶ we're gonna live forever</i>

2541
01:49:02,536 --> 01:49:06,205
<i> ¶ we're gonna live forever</i>

2542
01:49:06,207 --> 01:49:07,573
<i> ¶ yeah</i>

2543
01:49:09,342 --> 01:49:10,242
<i> ¶ forever ¶</i>

2544
01:49:16,182 --> 01:49:17,750
(techno music playing)

2545
01:51:37,557 --> 01:51:38,724
Eric.

2546
01:51:40,026 --> 01:51:41,760
Eric, are you awake?

2547
01:51:43,196 --> 01:51:44,129
No.

2548
01:51:45,331 --> 01:51:46,331
I'm late.

2548
01:51:47,305 --> 01:51:53,946
Support us and become VIP member 
to remove all ads from www.OpenSubtitles.org