1
00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:12,074
Advertise your product or brand here
contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today

2
00:00:27,199 --> 00:00:29,532
<i>♪ Gets, gets better, better ♪</i>

3
00:00:33,139 --> 00:00:35,734
<i>♪ Our summer out west,
our summer is sex ♪</i>

4
00:00:35,808 --> 00:00:38,368
<i>♪ Our summer just gets better ♪</i>

5
00:00:38,444 --> 00:00:41,437
<i>♪ Our summer out west,
our summer is sex ♪</i>

6
00:00:41,514 --> 00:00:43,779
<i>♪ Our summer just gets
better, better ♪</i>

7
00:00:43,849 --> 00:00:47,115
<i>♪ I don't need no weekend
telling me when to begin, ah ♪</i>

8
00:00:47,186 --> 00:00:49,314
<i>♪You stay upstairs until♪
♪I call you down for dinner♪</i>

9
00:00:49,388 --> 00:00:52,119
<i>♪ Single ladies want a ring
on it, I shake a finger ♪</i>

10
00:00:52,191 --> 00:00:53,659
<i>♪ Let it be, I'll call you Paul ♪</i>

11
00:00:53,726 --> 00:00:55,251
<i>♪ Paul, you call me Linda ♪</i>

12
00:00:55,327 --> 00:00:57,853
<i>♪ Single ladies want
a ring on it, ah ♪</i>

13
00:00:57,930 --> 00:01:00,490
<i>♪ I shake a finger,
I shake a finger ♪</i>

14
00:01:00,566 --> 00:01:02,159
<i>♪ All the single
ladies want a ring ♪</i>

15
00:01:02,234 --> 00:01:03,668
<i>♪ I shake a finger ♪</i>

16
00:01:03,736 --> 00:01:06,262
<i>♪ We're just having fun
if you got to order ♪</i>

17
00:01:06,338 --> 00:01:09,399
<i>♪ Our summer out west,
our summer is sex ♪</i>

18
00:01:09,475 --> 00:01:12,138
<i>♪ Our summer just gets better ♪</i>

19
00:01:12,211 --> 00:01:14,771
<i>♪ Our summer out west,
our summer is sex ♪</i>

20
00:01:14,847 --> 00:01:18,545
<i>♪ Our summer just gets,
gets better, better ♪</i>

21
00:01:18,617 --> 00:01:22,145
<i>♪ Ah, ah, ah ♪</i>

22
00:01:22,221 --> 00:01:24,315
<i>♪ Better, better, ah ♪</i>

23
00:01:24,390 --> 00:01:28,657
<i>♪ Ah, ah, better, better ♪</i>

24
00:01:28,727 --> 00:01:31,196
<i>♪ Our summer is sex, we get
so wet about the weather ♪</i>

25
00:01:31,263 --> 00:01:33,858
<i>♪ She tell you no 'cause she
want avoid a commitment ♪</i>

26
00:01:33,933 --> 00:01:36,767
<i>♪ She resists, but you persist,
and I suggest her sister ♪</i>

27
00:01:36,835 --> 00:01:39,828
<i>♪ She's a go-getter,
she say no, never ♪</i>

28
00:01:39,905 --> 00:01:42,402
<i>♪ She's a go-getter,
she never say no ♪</i>

29
00:01:42,474 --> 00:01:45,205
<i>♪ The sign says open,
doesn't ever say closed ♪</i>

30
00:01:45,277 --> 00:01:48,247
<i>♪ I put a twenty on her,
she's good to go ♪</i>

31
00:01:48,314 --> 00:01:50,806
<i>♪ I bet you get her,
she say no, never ♪</i>

32
00:01:50,883 --> 00:01:53,910
<i>♪ Our summer out west,
our summer is sex ♪</i>

33
00:01:53,986 --> 00:01:56,751
<i>♪ Our summer just gets better ♪</i>

34
00:01:56,822 --> 00:01:59,587
<i>♪ Our summer out west,
our summer is sex ♪</i>

35
00:01:59,658 --> 00:02:02,685
<i>♪ Our summer just gets,
gets better, better ♪</i>

36
00:02:05,531 --> 00:02:07,500
Ever notice how in high school

37
00:02:07,566 --> 00:02:09,558
There's just something
about being first,

38
00:02:09,635 --> 00:02:12,434
Like that girl who's always
first to raise her hand

39
00:02:12,504 --> 00:02:15,906
Or that first kid to own every
new cutting-edge ithingy?

40
00:02:15,975 --> 00:02:20,845
There's so much pressure to
be a trend-setter, a pioneer.

41
00:02:20,913 --> 00:02:22,677
Well, not me.

42
00:02:22,748 --> 00:02:26,651
Tanner Daniels was just like any
other average comic-book geek,

43
00:02:26,719 --> 00:02:29,382
More than content to
fly under the radar

44
00:02:29,455 --> 00:02:31,651
And leave the trailblazing
to the others.

45
00:02:31,724 --> 00:02:34,888
After all, of the many firsts
my peers were vying for,

46
00:02:34,960 --> 00:02:37,862
One still remained
conspicuously up for grabs.

47
00:02:37,930 --> 00:02:40,593
Never in the history
of north gateway high

48
00:02:40,666 --> 00:02:42,726
Had any student admitted out loud

49
00:02:42,801 --> 00:02:46,499
To being an honest-to-goodness,
card-carrying, proud...

50
00:02:46,572 --> 00:02:49,406
Or even slightly modest...
homosexual,

51
00:02:49,475 --> 00:02:51,671
Including me and my
best friend, Brent.

52
00:02:51,744 --> 00:02:54,475
Explain this to me again.
How will being the first out kid

53
00:02:54,546 --> 00:02:56,708
In school make you
instantly popular?

54
00:02:56,782 --> 00:03:00,014
It's simple. All the teen
and tween rags agree...

55
00:03:00,286 --> 00:03:03,017
The hottest new trend
sweeping schools worldwide

56
00:03:03,289 --> 00:03:05,690
Is the G.B.F.

57
00:03:05,758 --> 00:03:07,954
G.B.F.?
Gay best friend.

58
00:03:08,027 --> 00:03:10,622
Every celeb has one, so
every teen girl needs one.

59
00:03:10,696 --> 00:03:13,393
And pretty soon, all three
prom-queen front-runners

60
00:03:13,465 --> 00:03:15,593
Will be battling it
out for my attention.

61
00:03:17,403 --> 00:03:19,463
<i>♪ H ♪</i>

62
00:03:19,538 --> 00:03:21,006
<i>♪ E ♪</i>

63
00:03:21,073 --> 00:03:23,599
<i>♪ R ♪</i>

64
00:03:23,676 --> 00:03:27,613
Three powerful cliques
controlled north gateway high,

65
00:03:27,680 --> 00:03:29,046
And the queen bitch from each

66
00:03:29,315 --> 00:03:31,716
Ruled our school from
nearly every direction.

67
00:03:31,784 --> 00:03:34,845
Caprice winters dominated

68
00:03:34,920 --> 00:03:37,515
As queen of drama,
all three kinds of choir,

69
00:03:37,589 --> 00:03:40,650
And our school's loose network
of minority students.

70
00:03:40,726 --> 00:03:44,356
Then there was 'Shley Osgoode,
short for "Ashley,"

71
00:03:44,430 --> 00:03:46,558
Which was about as edgy as she got.

72
00:03:46,632 --> 00:03:49,466
With her perpetually sunny
Mormon disposition,

73
00:03:49,535 --> 00:03:52,334
'Shley ruled all wearers
of shiny gold crosses

74
00:03:52,404 --> 00:03:54,430
And goody-two-shoes.

75
00:03:54,506 --> 00:03:58,773
But neither could hold a
candle to Fawcett Brooks.

76
00:03:58,844 --> 00:04:00,574
By far the hottest girl in school

77
00:04:00,646 --> 00:04:02,478
And empress of the rich and popular,

78
00:04:02,548 --> 00:04:05,780
Fawcett loved fads
and hated fatties.

79
00:04:05,851 --> 00:04:07,752
Her trademark golden tresses

80
00:04:07,820 --> 00:04:10,449
Had won her "best hair"
three years in a row,

81
00:04:10,522 --> 00:04:12,047
an unprecedented achievement

82
00:04:12,124 --> 00:04:16,061
because you're supposed
to be a senior to win.

83
00:04:16,128 --> 00:04:19,030
Like neighboring warlords
in a third-world country,

84
00:04:19,098 --> 00:04:22,330
They maintained an
uneasy balance of power,

85
00:04:22,401 --> 00:04:23,733
Friendly but always vigilant

86
00:04:23,802 --> 00:04:25,862
Of anything that could
upset the truce

87
00:04:25,938 --> 00:04:29,102
And create all-out social warfare.

88
00:04:29,375 --> 00:04:31,810
So, I'm thinking prom,
for maximum effect.

89
00:04:31,877 --> 00:04:33,709
That way, no matter who
wins king or queen,

90
00:04:33,779 --> 00:04:35,077
All anyone will remember is me.

91
00:04:35,147 --> 00:04:37,981
Why not send out a mass
text and be done with it?

92
00:04:38,050 --> 00:04:39,541
"F.Y.I., I like guys.

93
00:04:39,618 --> 00:04:41,416
Now let's never speak
of this again."

94
00:04:41,487 --> 00:04:43,820
Tanner, you cannot come out
via text. That is so gay.

95
00:04:43,889 --> 00:04:47,883
Well, you can count me out...
Er, in, I guess.

96
00:04:47,960 --> 00:04:50,080
Oh, how very early 2000s of you.
I'm so not surprised.

97
00:04:50,129 --> 00:04:52,496
Yeah, Glenn here is more likely
to come out than Tanner,

98
00:04:52,564 --> 00:04:54,897
And he is our token
vagina enthusiast.

99
00:04:54,967 --> 00:04:56,731
Damn straight.
Literally.

100
00:04:56,802 --> 00:05:00,534
Look, it's not a matter of if
I'm coming out. Of course I am.

101
00:05:00,606 --> 00:05:04,566
It's the "when"
I'm still working on.

102
00:05:04,643 --> 00:05:06,703
I just can't believe
that you'd be happy

103
00:05:06,779 --> 00:05:08,941
Being some vapid whore's
sexless accessory.

104
00:05:09,014 --> 00:05:10,812
And what makes you think
this plan will even work?

105
00:05:10,883 --> 00:05:13,682
Oh, you know I've been
doing my reconnaissance.

106
00:05:13,752 --> 00:05:15,152
Ready? Okay!

107
00:05:15,421 --> 00:05:17,720
Fawcett's the obvious
prom-queen front-runner,

108
00:05:17,790 --> 00:05:20,692
But since mega-hottie Hamilton
smith dumped her last week,

109
00:05:20,759 --> 00:05:23,126
She's vulnerable, and she'll
be looking for an edge...

110
00:05:23,195 --> 00:05:25,027
whoo!
...any edge.

111
00:05:25,097 --> 00:05:27,464
What the hell was that? You guys
were totally out of sync.

112
00:05:27,533 --> 00:05:29,525
It's that time of
the month, ladies.

113
00:05:29,601 --> 00:05:32,127
Please. Their "must-have"
list is so five minutes ago.

114
00:05:32,204 --> 00:05:34,867
Let's hear it.
This month's are...

115
00:05:34,940 --> 00:05:36,806
totally bedazzled vintage totes,

116
00:05:36,875 --> 00:05:38,639
Chunky cashmere ironic shrugs...

117
00:05:38,710 --> 00:05:39,973
been there, worn that.

118
00:05:40,045 --> 00:05:42,446
Distressed jeggings...
Cute!

119
00:05:42,514 --> 00:05:44,005
I practically invented them.

120
00:05:44,082 --> 00:05:45,778
Cold Langu.

121
00:05:45,851 --> 00:05:48,184
And a G.B.F.

122
00:05:48,454 --> 00:05:51,185
It... It stands for...
I know what it stands for.

123
00:05:52,958 --> 00:05:55,655
Well, I can't help it that the
school is devoid of the gay.

124
00:05:55,727 --> 00:05:57,855
I mean, if there were some,
they'd obvi worship me.

125
00:05:57,930 --> 00:06:00,422
I mean, look at this.

126
00:06:00,499 --> 00:06:01,899
No, no, totally.
They'd worship you.

127
00:06:01,934 --> 00:06:03,732
Like, look at you.
You're, like, beautiful, like...

128
00:06:03,802 --> 00:06:05,930
Okay, so, Fawcett
might fall for it,

129
00:06:06,004 --> 00:06:08,838
But what makes you think a
super-Chris like 'Shley Osgood

130
00:06:08,907 --> 00:06:10,034
Would ever want a G.B.F.?

131
00:06:10,108 --> 00:06:11,701
'Shley is Mormon.
Hey, Glenn.

132
00:06:11,777 --> 00:06:13,837
Their whole shtick is just
being relentlessly nice to you

133
00:06:13,912 --> 00:06:16,507
Until you give up and throw on a
pair of their magic underwear.

134
00:06:16,582 --> 00:06:18,608
Yeah, they smile to your face
and prop-8 you in the back.

135
00:06:18,684 --> 00:06:22,712
I can't believe our godless
peers read this blasphemy.

136
00:06:22,788 --> 00:06:25,223
They're trying to
make sin seem "in."

137
00:06:25,491 --> 00:06:27,050
I don't know.

138
00:06:27,125 --> 00:06:29,185
Don't you ever think it would
be kind of neat to meet one?

139
00:06:29,261 --> 00:06:31,890
Like a real, live gay?
What?

140
00:06:31,964 --> 00:06:33,990
You know, we could
bring him youth group

141
00:06:34,066 --> 00:06:36,467
Or take him out for
milkshakes or something.

142
00:06:36,535 --> 00:06:38,561
And then if we're all
super-duper nice to him,

143
00:06:38,637 --> 00:06:40,230
Maybe he'd realize
that the only person

144
00:06:40,506 --> 00:06:43,032
He should be gay for is Jesus.

145
00:06:43,108 --> 00:06:46,670
'Shley, you can't just
befriend these people.

146
00:06:46,745 --> 00:06:47,906
They're out to steal

147
00:06:47,980 --> 00:06:52,213
Our brothers, boyfriends,
our gerbils,

148
00:06:52,284 --> 00:06:54,617
All as part of a secret agenda

149
00:06:54,686 --> 00:06:56,287
To spread their gaybies
all over America.

150
00:06:56,522 --> 00:06:58,514
Aww.
Gay babies?

151
00:06:58,590 --> 00:07:01,492
No!
Like... like gay rabies.

152
00:07:01,560 --> 00:07:03,256
Bitch!

153
00:07:03,529 --> 00:07:06,556
'Shley will try to befriend
me and convert me,

154
00:07:06,632 --> 00:07:08,498
And that'll make Fawcett
want me even more.

155
00:07:08,567 --> 00:07:10,035
So, what about Caprice?
Please.

156
00:07:10,102 --> 00:07:13,504
Miss Caprice cannot stand not
being the center of attention.

157
00:07:13,572 --> 00:07:15,939
You all saw her mostly
plagiarized musical mash-up

158
00:07:16,008 --> 00:07:17,806
Of "mean girls" last spring.

159
00:07:17,876 --> 00:07:21,176
<i>♪ Mean girls ♪</i>

160
00:07:21,246 --> 00:07:24,216
<i>♪ Mean plastic girls ♪</i>

161
00:07:24,283 --> 00:07:28,118
<i>♪ I'm coming to get you
wherever you turn ♪</i>

162
00:07:28,186 --> 00:07:31,554
<i>♪ I'm writing your name
in the book of burn ♪</i>

163
00:07:31,623 --> 00:07:32,921
That actually could have
been kind of brilliant.

164
00:07:32,991 --> 00:07:34,584
But it wasn't.

165
00:07:34,660 --> 00:07:36,060
Caprice needs a gay visionary

166
00:07:36,128 --> 00:07:39,621
To shepherd her career
towards iconic Diva-Dom.

167
00:07:39,698 --> 00:07:41,829
I just hope everything
goes according to plan.

168
00:07:41,900 --> 00:07:43,835
You won't forget us
when you're in a new

169
00:07:43,902 --> 00:07:46,064
Social stratosphere, will you?
No promises.

170
00:07:46,138 --> 00:07:47,697
Oh, my god!
Is that the new one?!

171
00:07:47,773 --> 00:07:49,105
Oh, sweet, dude!

172
00:07:49,174 --> 00:07:52,144
And I still carry the last
flip phone on the planet.

173
00:07:52,210 --> 00:07:54,577
We are so downloading guydar.

174
00:07:54,646 --> 00:07:56,979
What the hell is guydar?
Where have you been?

175
00:07:57,049 --> 00:08:00,645
It's the new app that lets
gay guys find other gay guys

176
00:08:00,719 --> 00:08:03,154
Through state-of-the-art,
globally positioned technology.

177
00:08:03,221 --> 00:08:05,156
She knows.
I only know about it

178
00:08:05,223 --> 00:08:07,590
Because Brent here tried to
download it onto my phone.

179
00:08:07,659 --> 00:08:10,652
Yeah, and hetero buzzkill
here totally cock-blocked me.

180
00:08:10,729 --> 00:08:12,630
I'm not soiling my pristine phone

181
00:08:12,698 --> 00:08:14,326
With some slutty gay hookup app.

182
00:08:14,600 --> 00:08:16,762
Tanner, we're not
gonna do anything.

183
00:08:16,835 --> 00:08:18,770
We're just gonna see if there are

184
00:08:18,837 --> 00:08:20,669
any other gay guys in this town

185
00:08:20,739 --> 00:08:23,140
and find out how many cubic
feet away they are from us.

186
00:08:23,208 --> 00:08:24,836
It's science.

187
00:08:24,910 --> 00:08:26,902
And it's about to change our lives.

188
00:08:26,979 --> 00:08:30,677
Which was actually true,
but not in the way we imagined.

189
00:08:30,749 --> 00:08:32,217
But it isn't fair, Ms. Hoegel.

190
00:08:32,284 --> 00:08:35,345
I'm sorry, Soledad, but the
school board was clear.

191
00:08:35,621 --> 00:08:38,090
Now, we can't have a
gay/straight alliance

192
00:08:38,156 --> 00:08:39,988
Without an actual gay member.

193
00:08:40,058 --> 00:08:41,754
Just because we're all straight

194
00:08:41,827 --> 00:08:44,353
Doesn't mean that there aren't
gay kids at this school.

195
00:08:44,630 --> 00:08:46,911
My future G.B.F. is just waiting
to come out of the closet

196
00:08:46,965 --> 00:08:48,957
And tell me how fierce I am.

197
00:08:49,034 --> 00:08:51,663
Please, Ms. "H,"
this club is all I have.

198
00:08:51,737 --> 00:08:56,198
Is this about helping queer and
questioning kids or yourself?

199
00:08:56,274 --> 00:08:58,004
It's all for the gays!

200
00:08:58,076 --> 00:09:01,638
They need to at least
know this group exists.

201
00:09:01,713 --> 00:09:03,944
What if Viola here
came out as a lesbian?

202
00:09:04,016 --> 00:09:06,747
Hey!
I'm strictly dickly, yo.

203
00:09:06,818 --> 00:09:08,616
Just take one for the team.

204
00:09:08,687 --> 00:09:11,657
Now, Soledad!
Or the fact that Braxton has two mommies...

205
00:09:11,723 --> 00:09:13,624
That has got to count
for something.

206
00:09:13,692 --> 00:09:15,991
And both Mrs. Cooper-Cullins
were so helpful

207
00:09:16,061 --> 00:09:18,053
In organizing last
month's Vegan bake sale.

208
00:09:18,130 --> 00:09:19,860
Moms say hi, by the way.

209
00:09:19,931 --> 00:09:21,866
Hi, moms.

210
00:09:21,933 --> 00:09:25,768
But it's simply not
enough, I'm afraid.

211
00:09:29,374 --> 00:09:31,900
Please, Ms. Hoegel, just
buy me a few more weeks.

212
00:09:31,977 --> 00:09:33,673
Like, I will find a real-life gay,

213
00:09:33,745 --> 00:09:35,737
Even if I have to drag
the little teen queen

214
00:09:35,814 --> 00:09:37,009
Out of the closet myself.

215
00:09:37,082 --> 00:09:38,778
Soledad, I don't
want you conducting

216
00:09:38,850 --> 00:09:40,250
Some sort of a gay witch-hunt.

217
00:09:40,318 --> 00:09:42,787
No, of course not, Ms. Hoegel.
Give it time.

218
00:09:42,854 --> 00:09:45,153
One day you will meet
the gay of your dreams,

219
00:09:45,223 --> 00:09:46,919
And it will be the happiest,

220
00:09:46,992 --> 00:09:48,858
Most fulfilling day of your life.

221
00:09:48,927 --> 00:09:52,261
Then it's all downhill from there.

222
00:09:57,903 --> 00:10:00,930
Hi, there, Soledad.
Or whatever.

223
00:10:01,006 --> 00:10:03,202
You're prez of the school's
currently gay-less

224
00:10:03,275 --> 00:10:05,744
G.S.A., Right?
Yeah, something like that.

225
00:10:05,811 --> 00:10:08,212
Couldn't help but
overhear your dilem.

226
00:10:08,280 --> 00:10:11,182
I might have an idea
that could help you out.

227
00:10:11,249 --> 00:10:15,084
Keep up.

228
00:10:15,153 --> 00:10:16,815
The Wi-Fi password is "Lilo."

229
00:10:16,888 --> 00:10:19,858
Oh, hey, guys. Where's the fire?
Oh! Hi, mom.

230
00:10:19,925 --> 00:10:23,089
Um, we just got this really
tough math assignment, so...

231
00:10:23,161 --> 00:10:24,789
Oh. Math.

232
00:10:24,863 --> 00:10:26,855
It's gonna be, like, a
really tough nut to bust.

233
00:10:26,932 --> 00:10:28,161
T-T-Y-L!

234
00:10:28,233 --> 00:10:29,895
Later, Mrs. Van Camp.

235
00:10:29,968 --> 00:10:34,269
Be safe!
W-with your math.

236
00:10:34,339 --> 00:10:37,935
Your mom totally knows and
also thinks we're doing it.

237
00:10:38,009 --> 00:10:40,001
Why don't you just tell her?

238
00:10:40,078 --> 00:10:42,206
Oh, she's so smug,
dropping her little hints.

239
00:10:42,280 --> 00:10:44,249
I'm not gonna give her
the satisfaction.

240
00:10:44,316 --> 00:10:46,285
Maybe when she gets
the balls to ask me.

241
00:10:46,351 --> 00:10:48,786
Maybe she's just
respecting your privacy.

242
00:10:48,854 --> 00:10:51,824
She wants to milk this for
all the drama it's worth.

243
00:10:51,890 --> 00:10:54,724
Trust.
I am her son, after all.

244
00:11:05,337 --> 00:11:09,502
Do we have to listen to this
heinous pop dance crap?

245
00:11:09,775 --> 00:11:11,175
Shut up.
You know you love it.

246
00:11:11,243 --> 00:11:14,145
<i>♪ Why should I be a
victim of this love? ♪</i>

247
00:11:14,212 --> 00:11:17,046
<i>♪ Why should I feel so ashamed? ♪</i>

248
00:11:17,115 --> 00:11:20,108
Knock, knock!

249
00:11:20,185 --> 00:11:21,744
What?!
What do you want?!

250
00:11:21,820 --> 00:11:23,083
Everybody decent?

251
00:11:23,155 --> 00:11:24,248
Yeah, mom.

252
00:11:24,322 --> 00:11:26,314
No, I'm serious.
Yes, we're decent!

253
00:11:26,391 --> 00:11:28,758
Oh, god. Okay, good.
Whew! Just checking.

254
00:11:28,827 --> 00:11:32,764
Oh, O-M-G!
This be my jam. Whoo!

255
00:11:32,831 --> 00:11:34,493
Hey, you boys have any poppers?

256
00:11:34,566 --> 00:11:36,831
A popper would really hit
the spot right about now.

257
00:11:36,902 --> 00:11:42,068
Mom, um, yeah, this, um, dance
party is invitation-only, so...

258
00:11:42,140 --> 00:11:44,939
I simply came up to tell you boys

259
00:11:45,010 --> 00:11:50,313
That I won't be back up here
for at least one hour or so.

260
00:11:50,382 --> 00:11:53,352
Relax. Do your thing.
Get crazy.

261
00:11:53,418 --> 00:11:54,977
Thanks.
I'm good with it.

262
00:11:55,053 --> 00:11:57,045
Thank you. All right. Bye!
Yeah. Great. All right.

263
00:11:58,456 --> 00:12:00,254
Now that we've banished the beast,

264
00:12:00,325 --> 00:12:02,556
Let's download that app
and find us some mens.

265
00:12:02,828 --> 00:12:04,820
What if we see someone
we know on there

266
00:12:04,896 --> 00:12:07,161
Or someone finds my phone?

267
00:12:07,232 --> 00:12:09,258
It's my ass on the line.

268
00:12:09,334 --> 00:12:11,132
Tan, please,

269
00:12:11,203 --> 00:12:13,283
If I don't at least get my
makeout on before college,

270
00:12:13,338 --> 00:12:15,102
I'll be playing sexual
catch-up for years.

271
00:12:15,173 --> 00:12:16,835
I just want to find
out if there are

272
00:12:16,908 --> 00:12:19,343
Any other gay guys there
that, you know, aren't you.

273
00:12:19,411 --> 00:12:21,175
You know, no offense.

274
00:12:23,548 --> 00:12:25,915
Okay, fine.

275
00:12:25,984 --> 00:12:27,919
But we're gonna need
a profile picture first.

276
00:12:27,986 --> 00:12:29,978
Say "cheese."
Cheddar!

277
00:12:31,156 --> 00:12:32,818
Let me see.

278
00:12:32,891 --> 00:12:34,951
No.

279
00:12:35,026 --> 00:12:36,995
Th... Hey!

280
00:12:37,062 --> 00:12:39,293
Relax. You'll just be
another headless torso

281
00:12:39,364 --> 00:12:40,992
In a sea of low self-esteem.

282
00:12:41,066 --> 00:12:43,160
P.S... Your abs ain't
too bad, Mr. Four-pack.

283
00:12:43,235 --> 00:12:45,033
Really?

284
00:12:45,103 --> 00:12:47,095
Hmm.

285
00:12:47,172 --> 00:12:49,971
Now let's see what the filthy gays
of north gateway think of them.

286
00:12:50,041 --> 00:12:52,033
You sure this is a good idea?

287
00:12:52,110 --> 00:12:55,410
Was Drake on "Degrassi"?
The answer is yes.

288
00:12:55,480 --> 00:12:57,142
Bad-ass rapper Drake

289
00:12:57,215 --> 00:12:59,912
Was on a wholesome Canadian
after-school soap opera.

290
00:12:59,985 --> 00:13:01,851
Never forget.

291
00:13:01,920 --> 00:13:03,388
We had little luck

292
00:13:03,455 --> 00:13:06,015
Chatting up dudes on
Guydar that night,

293
00:13:06,091 --> 00:13:08,219
But the next day,
Soledad and her swarm

294
00:13:08,293 --> 00:13:10,558
Of blossoming fruit
flies were preparing

295
00:13:10,629 --> 00:13:12,495
To put the app to much better use.

296
00:13:12,564 --> 00:13:14,931
Okay, ladies, somewhere
in this school,

297
00:13:15,000 --> 00:13:16,400
There's a sexually confused boy

298
00:13:16,468 --> 00:13:18,369
With no one to turn
to and nowhere to go.

299
00:13:18,436 --> 00:13:22,567
So we must hunt him down...
To help him, of course.

300
00:13:22,641 --> 00:13:24,542
According to a very
knowledgeable source

301
00:13:24,609 --> 00:13:26,373
On what's in style,
this guydar thing

302
00:13:26,444 --> 00:13:29,107
Is all the rage with the gays,
especially the closet cases.

303
00:13:29,180 --> 00:13:31,308
So, we all got our Faux-Mo
avatars ready, right?

304
00:13:31,383 --> 00:13:34,649
Yep. Mine's of Robert
Pattinson's air-brushed torso.

305
00:13:34,920 --> 00:13:36,582
That's what they like, right?
Totally.

306
00:13:36,655 --> 00:13:38,419
And you've got Zac Efron.
Perfect.

307
00:13:38,490 --> 00:13:40,425
And Persephone's
rocking Adam Lambert.

308
00:13:40,492 --> 00:13:42,927
Oh, great. I think we got
all our bases covered.

309
00:13:42,994 --> 00:13:45,429
Let the manhunt begin!

310
00:13:45,497 --> 00:13:46,497
Oh, shit!

311
00:13:46,498 --> 00:13:48,330
What was that?

312
00:13:48,400 --> 00:13:50,528
Oh, um, nothing.

313
00:13:50,602 --> 00:13:53,572
Just stating the obvious in here.

314
00:13:53,638 --> 00:13:55,937
Ew. Let's go.

315
00:13:56,007 --> 00:13:59,034
Shit.
Shit, shit, shit.

316
00:14:06,084 --> 00:14:08,212
Tanner! Hand it over.

317
00:14:08,286 --> 00:14:10,187
You'll get it back
at the end of the day.

318
00:14:10,255 --> 00:14:12,417
Shit.

319
00:14:12,490 --> 00:14:14,550
Come on. Come on.
Come on. Come on. Shit!

320
00:14:20,065 --> 00:14:22,360
Montag.

321
00:14:22,434 --> 00:14:25,136
Dienstag.

322
00:14:25,203 --> 00:14:27,667
Mittwoch.

323
00:14:27,739 --> 00:14:29,230
Donnerstag.

324
00:14:29,307 --> 00:14:30,935
What's up, bitch?

325
00:14:32,510 --> 00:14:33,671
Herr Brent.

326
00:14:33,745 --> 00:14:35,008
Ein moment, Frau Burkhardt.

327
00:14:41,586 --> 00:14:44,249
Oh, Scheisse.

328
00:14:45,557 --> 00:14:48,152
Ooh, I got one!
4packboy95.

329
00:14:48,226 --> 00:14:49,285
He's 400 feet away.

330
00:14:49,361 --> 00:14:51,592
I got him, too!
This way!

331
00:14:51,663 --> 00:14:54,326
Yeah!

332
00:14:54,399 --> 00:14:56,027
Give me your phone now!
Now!

333
00:14:56,101 --> 00:14:57,330
Oh, my god, Brent!

334
00:14:57,402 --> 00:14:59,633
You're obsessed
with that stupid app.

335
00:14:59,704 --> 00:15:02,697
You don't understand. Soledad
and her gaggle of junior hacks

336
00:15:02,774 --> 00:15:05,243
Are using guydar
to track gays at the school.

337
00:15:05,310 --> 00:15:08,280
Oh, my god. Slatsky took
my phone in third period.

338
00:15:08,346 --> 00:15:10,008
It's still signed on.

339
00:15:10,081 --> 00:15:12,516
I am not taking the fall for this!

340
00:15:12,584 --> 00:15:14,485
Time for the big, dramatic
coming-out you've always wanted.

341
00:15:14,552 --> 00:15:16,248
Wait. No, no, no, no!
This is not how I planned it.

342
00:15:16,321 --> 00:15:18,449
P-P-Prom is months away!

343
00:15:18,523 --> 00:15:19,582
It's coming from in here.

344
00:15:19,657 --> 00:15:21,216
We are here to help.
Come on, guys.

345
00:15:21,292 --> 00:15:23,488
What do you think you're doing?

346
00:15:23,561 --> 00:15:25,621
Who do these hairless
abs belong to?

347
00:15:32,103 --> 00:15:34,334
The signal's coming from
the front of the classroom...

348
00:15:34,406 --> 00:15:35,446
you have two seconds to...

349
00:15:35,507 --> 00:15:37,066
from right around...

350
00:15:37,142 --> 00:15:38,735
Mr. Slatsky's desk?!

351
00:15:38,810 --> 00:15:40,745
Mr. Slatsky?
Mr. Slatsky?

352
00:15:40,812 --> 00:15:42,542
You're married to a lady,

353
00:15:42,614 --> 00:15:45,448
And these are clearly not your abs.

354
00:15:45,517 --> 00:15:47,247
This is false advertising.

355
00:15:47,318 --> 00:15:49,150
What are you talking about?

356
00:15:49,220 --> 00:15:51,314
Wait!
It's not Mr. Slatsky's.

357
00:15:51,389 --> 00:15:53,153
Tanner, I don't think you should.

358
00:15:53,224 --> 00:15:54,658
This is your cellphone, correct?

359
00:15:57,462 --> 00:16:00,489
I-I guess it is.

360
00:16:02,667 --> 00:16:04,761
You're the secret gay.

361
00:16:04,836 --> 00:16:07,362
But you're not even that fabulous.

362
00:16:07,439 --> 00:16:10,307
I...

363
00:16:10,375 --> 00:16:12,207
guess I am...

364
00:16:12,277 --> 00:16:14,542
n-not fabulous, but gay.

365
00:16:14,612 --> 00:16:16,547
I'm gay, I guess.

366
00:16:18,516 --> 00:16:22,612
Oh, we've got one,
our very own homosexual!

367
00:16:24,823 --> 00:16:28,555
Tweet this right now.

368
00:16:28,626 --> 00:16:32,063
We did it!
I'm so excited!

369
00:16:38,670 --> 00:16:40,832
What are you looking at, fag-off?

370
00:16:41,106 --> 00:16:42,369
What, are you...

371
00:16:42,440 --> 00:16:45,239
What, are you checking out
my... balls?

372
00:16:45,310 --> 00:16:47,541
You trying to check out my balls?

373
00:16:47,612 --> 00:16:50,673
Tanner! Wait! Wait!
I'm your friend!

374
00:16:50,748 --> 00:16:53,197
Leave him alone, you
desperate psycho-bitch.

375
00:16:53,223 --> 00:16:53,834
Whoa.

376
00:16:53,885 --> 00:16:55,251
That was really mean.
Oh, really?

377
00:16:55,320 --> 00:16:57,118
Are you a psycho,
and are you a bitch?

378
00:16:57,188 --> 00:16:58,781
- I am his best friend.
- I couldn't believe it.

379
00:16:58,857 --> 00:17:00,587
I'd been so careful for 17 years.

380
00:17:00,658 --> 00:17:02,320
I mean, I learned how to clear

381
00:17:02,393 --> 00:17:04,191
The internet history when I was 11.

382
00:17:04,262 --> 00:17:07,562
One stupid slip-up
had cost me everything,

383
00:17:07,632 --> 00:17:09,863
And I had one person to blame.

384
00:17:14,539 --> 00:17:16,474
Hey, girl, hey.

385
00:17:16,541 --> 00:17:19,841
"Hey"?
That's all you have to say?

386
00:17:19,911 --> 00:17:23,177
I'm sorry. I-I freaked.
It happened so fast. I...

387
00:17:23,248 --> 00:17:25,274
You were the one
who wanted to come out!

388
00:17:25,350 --> 00:17:27,649
I can't believe
you let me take the fall!

389
00:17:27,719 --> 00:17:28,778
Shh. Please. Okay, look.

390
00:17:28,853 --> 00:17:30,378
Maybe you can turn this around,

391
00:17:30,455 --> 00:17:32,219
You know, like pretend
it was a joke.

392
00:17:32,290 --> 00:17:34,657
You can't "no homo" this, Brent.

393
00:17:34,726 --> 00:17:36,627
I'm basically a dead man,

394
00:17:36,694 --> 00:17:38,595
And what kills me
is you're the Queeny one.

395
00:17:38,663 --> 00:17:40,256
The least you can do is come out

396
00:17:40,331 --> 00:17:42,197
And take your share
of the daily beatings.

397
00:17:42,267 --> 00:17:44,793
I can't. I mean,
it would be, you know, pathetic,

398
00:17:44,869 --> 00:17:46,565
Like I'm copying you or something.

399
00:17:46,638 --> 00:17:48,732
You know what?
I blame myself.

400
00:17:48,806 --> 00:17:51,366
All I ever do is go
with the flow, your flow

401
00:17:51,442 --> 00:17:52,910
99% of the time.

402
00:17:53,178 --> 00:17:55,773
Oh, please, Tanner. We both know
you love being the sidekick.

403
00:17:55,847 --> 00:17:59,147
Oh. So, I'm the sidekick?
Wow.

404
00:17:59,217 --> 00:18:01,777
Well, at least now I realize
all you care about is yourself,

405
00:18:01,853 --> 00:18:04,254
You self-absorbed,
gutless little faggot!

406
00:18:04,322 --> 00:18:05,813
Tanner Daniels.

407
00:18:05,890 --> 00:18:08,860
Christ, Tanner.
I said I'm sorry.

408
00:18:08,927 --> 00:18:11,260
Sorry, Mrs. Van Camp,

409
00:18:11,329 --> 00:18:13,457
But I'm allowed to use that word,

410
00:18:13,531 --> 00:18:15,363
Seeing as how I am one...

411
00:18:16,634 --> 00:18:18,603
just like your son.

412
00:18:20,838 --> 00:18:23,672
Tanner, you had no right.

413
00:18:23,741 --> 00:18:27,303
Well, what do you care?
You know she knows.

414
00:18:27,378 --> 00:18:29,540
It was a total dick move,

415
00:18:29,614 --> 00:18:32,846
And I immediately regretted it,
but it was too late.

416
00:18:32,917 --> 00:18:36,820
Like Lex Luthor and Clark Kent
or professor X and Magneto,

417
00:18:36,888 --> 00:18:40,188
Brent and I went from
best friends to archenemies

418
00:18:40,258 --> 00:18:41,487
In a matter of seconds.

419
00:18:41,559 --> 00:18:43,653
Hey, Tanner.
How was school, honey?

420
00:18:43,728 --> 00:18:45,663
Uh, hey, Shannon, dad.

421
00:18:45,730 --> 00:18:50,293
It was uneventful, lacking events.

422
00:18:50,368 --> 00:18:52,496
Why? You didn't hear anything,
did you?

423
00:18:52,570 --> 00:18:57,270
No. What would we
have heard about, Tanner?

424
00:18:57,342 --> 00:19:01,905
Nothing, of course, because
of the whole nothing thing.

425
00:19:01,980 --> 00:19:03,778
Well, honey, that's great.
Are you hungry?

426
00:19:03,848 --> 00:19:07,216
'Cause I made my world-famous,
homemade, gluten-free popsicles.

427
00:19:07,285 --> 00:19:08,583
They are delicious.

428
00:19:08,653 --> 00:19:11,213
Oh, I hope you made them
extra thick and fruity,

429
00:19:11,289 --> 00:19:12,882
Just the way Tanner likes them.

430
00:19:12,957 --> 00:19:14,983
What?!
Uh, I mean, right.

431
00:19:15,260 --> 00:19:18,594
Uh, thanks for freezing juice
on a stick for me, Shannon,

432
00:19:18,663 --> 00:19:19,926
But I'm good.

433
00:19:19,998 --> 00:19:21,660
Maybe you'll have one later.

434
00:19:21,733 --> 00:19:23,827
Maybe I'll have one right now.

435
00:19:23,901 --> 00:19:25,301
Ooh.

436
00:19:25,370 --> 00:19:27,635
What flavor did you make?

437
00:19:27,705 --> 00:19:29,731
Cherry.
Ohh.

438
00:19:29,807 --> 00:19:33,437
The next day, I tried to keep
an even lower profile that usual,

439
00:19:33,511 --> 00:19:37,505
But my power to go unnoticed
had been completely neutralized.

440
00:19:37,582 --> 00:19:39,380
Hey. Remember me?

441
00:19:39,450 --> 00:19:42,579
Hey, Sophe. Sorry I haven't
texted/called you back.

442
00:19:42,654 --> 00:19:45,021
I'm just really overwhelmed
right now.

443
00:19:45,290 --> 00:19:47,486
Look, I know
you're pissed at Brent,

444
00:19:47,558 --> 00:19:49,527
And, honestly, I would be, too.

445
00:19:49,594 --> 00:19:51,995
But what he did was an accident.

446
00:19:52,063 --> 00:19:53,793
What you did with his mom was...
Wait.

447
00:19:53,865 --> 00:19:55,424
Really? Wow.

448
00:19:55,500 --> 00:19:58,800
Of all people, I never expected
you to take his side.

449
00:19:58,870 --> 00:20:01,704
He outed me to the entire school.

450
00:20:01,773 --> 00:20:04,402
And plus, his mom already knew.

451
00:20:04,475 --> 00:20:06,595
But it wasn't your job to
tell her, and you know that.

452
00:20:06,644 --> 00:20:08,977
You know what, Sophe?
I have bigger things

453
00:20:09,047 --> 00:20:11,812
To worry about than
Brent's psycho mama drama.

454
00:20:13,584 --> 00:20:15,650
Ohh!

455
00:20:15,720 --> 00:20:17,746
Well, hey, there, tan tan.

456
00:20:17,822 --> 00:20:20,758
You know, I used to think
you were a little fag.

457
00:20:20,825 --> 00:20:23,795
I didn't realize you were
actually a full-fledged homo!

458
00:20:23,861 --> 00:20:26,296
That doesn't even make sense.

459
00:20:26,364 --> 00:20:28,299
Oh, yeah? Oh, yeah?
You calling me stupid?

460
00:20:28,366 --> 00:20:30,767
You calling me stupid and gay?

461
00:20:30,835 --> 00:20:34,567
Hamilton, take your hands off him.

462
00:20:34,639 --> 00:20:36,437
Back off, babe.
We're history,

463
00:20:36,507 --> 00:20:38,999
Which means you don't tell
me what to do anymore.

464
00:20:39,077 --> 00:20:41,478
History... now,
that's an appropriate word

465
00:20:41,546 --> 00:20:43,845
Because that's what
your sex life is gonna be

466
00:20:43,915 --> 00:20:45,474
If you don't leave him alone.

467
00:20:45,550 --> 00:20:47,644
After all, I know things...

468
00:20:47,719 --> 00:20:50,018
Tiny, little, pinky-sized details.

469
00:20:50,088 --> 00:20:52,387
Touch him again,
and you won't be able

470
00:20:52,457 --> 00:20:54,449
To get as much
as a half-ass handjob

471
00:20:54,525 --> 00:20:56,721
From some flag-twirling
color guard skank.

472
00:20:56,794 --> 00:20:58,956
Bitch, you wouldn't dare.

473
00:20:59,030 --> 00:21:00,760
Try me.

474
00:21:09,974 --> 00:21:11,465
You okay, babes?

475
00:21:11,542 --> 00:21:13,374
I'm... fine.

476
00:21:13,444 --> 00:21:14,912
I'm Fawcett.

477
00:21:14,979 --> 00:21:16,675
Yeah, I know.

478
00:21:16,748 --> 00:21:18,740
You doing anything after school?

479
00:21:18,816 --> 00:21:21,650
Want to go sip extra-large
low-fat iced coffees

480
00:21:21,719 --> 00:21:23,881
And talk shit about people?

481
00:21:23,955 --> 00:21:26,891
Hey, there, you.
I like coffee, too.

482
00:21:26,958 --> 00:21:28,085
I'll come with.

483
00:21:28,159 --> 00:21:30,060
Ooh!
I like decaf.

484
00:21:30,128 --> 00:21:32,120
How nice for you both.

485
00:21:32,397 --> 00:21:36,664
Well, uh, we could all go together?

486
00:21:36,734 --> 00:21:39,533
Fine. Whatevs.
Let's.

487
00:21:49,080 --> 00:21:51,709
So...

488
00:21:51,783 --> 00:21:54,116
so, you're a gay now.

489
00:21:54,185 --> 00:21:57,019
Uh, not now.
I mean, I've always been.

490
00:21:57,088 --> 00:21:59,057
Just now everybody knows.

491
00:21:59,123 --> 00:22:01,149
Are you gonna audition
for the spring musical?

492
00:22:01,426 --> 00:22:03,588
'Cause we're doing "The Wiz,"
and we're gonna need,

493
00:22:03,661 --> 00:22:05,459
Like, as many minorities
as we can get.

494
00:22:05,530 --> 00:22:08,056
I'm not much for
the whole singing or dancing

495
00:22:08,132 --> 00:22:10,465
Or being onstage thing.

496
00:22:10,535 --> 00:22:11,901
You sure you're a 'mo?

497
00:22:11,969 --> 00:22:13,995
What gay stuff do you, like, like?

498
00:22:14,071 --> 00:22:16,540
Um, I'm into comics.

499
00:22:16,607 --> 00:22:18,576
Like Kathy griffin?
She's Hilar.

500
00:22:18,643 --> 00:22:20,908
Uh, no, like comic books.

501
00:22:20,978 --> 00:22:23,948
That's not gay.
That's just lame.

502
00:22:24,015 --> 00:22:25,950
You don't even sound
like the ones on bravo.

503
00:22:26,017 --> 00:22:29,010
Say the word "fierce."
Ooh.

504
00:22:29,086 --> 00:22:31,419
Yeah, I don't really say that word.

505
00:22:31,489 --> 00:22:33,151
Oh, well, maybe it's like Caprice.

506
00:22:33,224 --> 00:22:35,420
I mean, she's black, but
she doesn't talk like them.

507
00:22:35,493 --> 00:22:38,429
Excuse me?
Well, not all the time.

508
00:22:38,496 --> 00:22:40,055
Yeah, Ashley, it's like
when we call you a "Mormon"

509
00:22:40,131 --> 00:22:41,997
But forget the second "M."

510
00:22:42,066 --> 00:22:44,763
Anyway, what about those other
losers you eat lunch with?

511
00:22:44,836 --> 00:22:46,429
They seem way gayer than you.

512
00:22:46,504 --> 00:22:49,531
Oh, no, no, no, no. I heard
Brent is like super hetero.

513
00:22:49,607 --> 00:22:51,200
That's why they're all fighting.

514
00:22:51,476 --> 00:22:54,036
That Glenn, though... Oh, he
is way too cute to be straight.

515
00:22:54,111 --> 00:22:56,103
Uh, Glenn is so not gay.
Trust me.

516
00:22:56,180 --> 00:22:59,150
I would know 'cause I've got
that gaydar thing, right?

517
00:22:59,217 --> 00:23:02,119
But even that Sophie girl...
She's always seemed like

518
00:23:02,186 --> 00:23:04,018
A mucho muncher supreme to me.

519
00:23:04,088 --> 00:23:06,717
I don't think so.
I mean, she hates all the guys

520
00:23:06,791 --> 00:23:09,158
At this school, but
she hates all the girls, too.

521
00:23:09,227 --> 00:23:11,924
Well, Tanner,
I just want you to know

522
00:23:11,996 --> 00:23:14,124
That I'm totally fine
with your homosexiness.

523
00:23:14,198 --> 00:23:15,791
I mean, it is a sin and all,

524
00:23:15,867 --> 00:23:17,836
But we Mormons pretty much think
everything's a sin,

525
00:23:17,902 --> 00:23:21,031
Including those caffeinated beverages
you guys are sucking down right now.

526
00:23:21,105 --> 00:23:23,185
So, if you're all gonna
burn in hell for an eternity,

527
00:23:23,207 --> 00:23:24,675
You may as well have a nice time

528
00:23:24,742 --> 00:23:26,540
Being all queer and stuff
while you're here.

529
00:23:26,611 --> 00:23:29,080
Well, that's at least consistent
of you, 'Shley.

530
00:23:29,146 --> 00:23:31,741
I have an amazeballs idea.

531
00:23:31,816 --> 00:23:34,183
This Saturday, why don't you
and me come back here,

532
00:23:34,252 --> 00:23:35,982
And we can totally gay you over?

533
00:23:36,053 --> 00:23:38,716
Oh, and I know all the stylists
at heroine salon.

534
00:23:38,789 --> 00:23:41,054
I'm sure they can give you
something butchy

535
00:23:41,125 --> 00:23:42,559
And Rihanna-esque.

536
00:23:42,627 --> 00:23:44,789
I think he just needs
a trim, sweetie,

537
00:23:44,862 --> 00:23:46,091
Not a full-blown weave.

538
00:23:46,163 --> 00:23:47,688
These are clips, boo.

539
00:23:47,765 --> 00:23:49,597
Um, I-I have a gift card

540
00:23:49,667 --> 00:23:51,602
To banana republic
that's half full.

541
00:23:51,669 --> 00:23:55,765
Well, perf. I guess
we'll see you both there.

542
00:23:55,840 --> 00:23:58,139
None of them wanted to share

543
00:23:58,209 --> 00:24:01,509
The school's newest
limited-edition status symbol,

544
00:24:01,579 --> 00:24:03,605
And if that meant pretending
to play nice with each other,

545
00:24:03,681 --> 00:24:05,013
Game on.

546
00:24:05,082 --> 00:24:07,642
That weekend, I quickly
discovered that if I was

547
00:24:07,718 --> 00:24:10,119
Going to accept the
protection of the "in" crowd,

548
00:24:10,187 --> 00:24:12,088
I had some Major catching-up to do.

549
00:24:12,156 --> 00:24:13,681
Where have you been?

550
00:24:13,758 --> 00:24:15,920
I thought we were meeting
at the food court.

551
00:24:15,993 --> 00:24:18,087
That was like four texts ago.
Come on!

552
00:24:18,162 --> 00:24:21,963
My texts-per-minute
average was extremely subpar.

553
00:24:22,033 --> 00:24:25,026
I had about 200 completely
unacceptable photos of myself

554
00:24:25,102 --> 00:24:26,570
Tagged on Facebook.

555
00:24:26,637 --> 00:24:28,230
Ooh. Fat face.
De-Tag.

556
00:24:28,306 --> 00:24:32,004
De-Tag. De-Tag.
De-Tag!

557
00:24:32,076 --> 00:24:35,308
Oh, my god. De-friend
whoever put that one up!

558
00:24:35,580 --> 00:24:37,208
And I was about three months behind

559
00:24:37,281 --> 00:24:38,715
On all of the latest abbreves.

560
00:24:38,783 --> 00:24:39,910
Incredsies.

561
00:24:39,984 --> 00:24:41,213
Ugh, fug, in the good way.

562
00:24:41,285 --> 00:24:43,811
Ohh! This one is tally
"feroshe"-balls.

563
00:24:43,888 --> 00:24:45,186
"Feroshe"-balls?

564
00:24:45,256 --> 00:24:47,191
That's what we're calling it.

565
00:24:47,258 --> 00:24:48,556
Here, sweetie.

566
00:24:48,626 --> 00:24:52,763
<i>♪ Since we found out ♪</i>

567
00:24:52,830 --> 00:24:55,061
One, two, three.

568
00:24:55,132 --> 00:24:58,795
<i>♪ Anything can happen ♪</i>

569
00:24:58,869 --> 00:25:00,895
Oh, my god.

570
00:25:00,972 --> 00:25:02,133
Praising the leather god.

571
00:25:02,206 --> 00:25:06,276
<i>♪ Anything can happen ♪</i>

572
00:25:06,344 --> 00:25:08,176
<i>♪ Anything can ♪</i>

573
00:25:10,348 --> 00:25:13,318
How do we look together?

574
00:25:17,188 --> 00:25:19,919
I love it!

575
00:25:24,195 --> 00:25:27,825
It was a straight-up
makeover-Montage situation,

576
00:25:27,898 --> 00:25:29,298
And all I could think of
was how much Brent

577
00:25:29,367 --> 00:25:32,599
Would have lived
for every second of it.

578
00:25:36,340 --> 00:25:40,971
<i>♪ I guess we thought
that's just what humans do ♪</i>

579
00:25:41,045 --> 00:25:44,379
With Brent, Sophie, and Glenn,
it was always so easy.

580
00:25:44,649 --> 00:25:47,141
I never worked so hard
just to have friends.

581
00:25:47,218 --> 00:25:49,653
But without Fawcett
and the other clique queens

582
00:25:49,720 --> 00:25:53,714
Watching my back,
I was a sitting duck.

583
00:25:53,791 --> 00:25:55,851
<i>♪ But now I've seen it through ♪</i>

584
00:25:55,926 --> 00:25:57,827
Good morning, ladies.
Hey.

585
00:25:57,895 --> 00:25:59,158
So, you speak to traitor...

586
00:25:59,230 --> 00:26:01,131
Excuse me, I mean Tanner...
This weekend?

587
00:26:01,198 --> 00:26:02,826
Well, no, actually.

588
00:26:02,900 --> 00:26:06,302
I called him like 50 times,
and no responses.

589
00:26:06,370 --> 00:26:09,204
You two really need to work it
out. I mean, it's like...

590
00:26:09,273 --> 00:26:11,071
Uh, ladies...

591
00:26:11,142 --> 00:26:12,633
<i>♪ I know it's gonna be ♪</i>

592
00:26:12,710 --> 00:26:16,370
<i>♪ Oh, yeah ♪</i>

593
00:26:16,447 --> 00:26:18,075
<i>♪ Uh-huh ♪</i>

594
00:26:18,149 --> 00:26:20,050
<i>♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh ♪</i>

595
00:26:20,117 --> 00:26:22,916
But I don't think I need you

596
00:26:22,987 --> 00:26:29,987
<i>♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh ♪</i>

597
00:26:30,294 --> 00:26:32,763
He united them.
I can't believe this.

598
00:26:32,830 --> 00:26:36,426
I can't believe
how tight his pants are.

599
00:26:36,701 --> 00:26:38,761
And is he wearing bronzer?

600
00:26:38,836 --> 00:26:42,329
He's spray-Tanner now.

601
00:26:42,406 --> 00:26:44,170
Before,
I could move through this school

602
00:26:44,241 --> 00:26:45,869
Unnoticed, invisible.

603
00:26:45,943 --> 00:26:50,938
But as the G.B.F., Well,
I was kind of indestructible.

604
00:26:51,015 --> 00:26:54,179
The up-close view of 'topher,
'Shley's hot Mormon boyfriend,

605
00:26:54,251 --> 00:26:56,117
Wasn't bad, either.

606
00:26:56,187 --> 00:27:02,218
For once, I was actually
kind of enjoying the spotlight.

607
00:27:04,428 --> 00:27:07,091
What do you think
you're doing with that...

608
00:27:07,164 --> 00:27:08,962
That ho... Ho... Ho...

609
00:27:09,033 --> 00:27:11,434
Ho-ho?
This is a Twinkie.

610
00:27:11,502 --> 00:27:13,232
Homosexual.

611
00:27:13,304 --> 00:27:15,330
I'm talking
about that other Twinkie,

612
00:27:15,406 --> 00:27:17,841
Your new apparent B.F.F.

613
00:27:17,908 --> 00:27:19,706
Tanner?
He's super nice, actually.

614
00:27:19,777 --> 00:27:21,370
Like not pure evil at all, really.

615
00:27:21,445 --> 00:27:23,471
I mean, maybe we're wrong.

616
00:27:23,748 --> 00:27:27,014
'Shley, this is not god's plan.

617
00:27:27,084 --> 00:27:28,450
I think that means "time-out."

618
00:27:28,519 --> 00:27:30,852
This is part of the polygamists'
plot, isn't it?

619
00:27:30,921 --> 00:27:33,390
The pastor always said
it's a slippery slope.

620
00:27:33,457 --> 00:27:35,858
First come the gays.
Then next thing we know,

621
00:27:35,926 --> 00:27:38,486
You people will want multiple
sister-wife prom dates.

622
00:27:38,763 --> 00:27:40,732
Well, I'm taking a stand.

623
00:27:40,798 --> 00:27:43,358
Consider this my resignation
from the O-M-G club.

624
00:27:43,434 --> 00:27:45,164
I can't be a part of a group

625
00:27:45,236 --> 00:27:47,262
Whose leader is in league
with sodomites.

626
00:27:49,907 --> 00:27:51,341
What's a sodomite?

627
00:27:51,408 --> 00:27:55,243
I think it's like dust mite,
but with sod.

628
00:27:55,312 --> 00:27:56,940
Oh.

629
00:27:57,014 --> 00:28:00,979
In times of crisis, I turn to Lilo.

630
00:28:03,554 --> 00:28:07,150
I mean, I know he's angry at me,
but, like...

631
00:28:08,526 --> 00:28:11,018
how could he do this?

632
00:28:11,095 --> 00:28:12,461
Tanner's just doing his best

633
00:28:12,530 --> 00:28:14,294
Trying not to get his ass kicked.

634
00:28:14,365 --> 00:28:15,765
I mean, aren't we all?

635
00:28:15,833 --> 00:28:17,825
I'm not letting him off that easy.

636
00:28:17,902 --> 00:28:21,066
This literally could
not get any worse.

637
00:28:21,138 --> 00:28:24,939
Actually, it can.

638
00:28:27,211 --> 00:28:29,271
You know how the paper

639
00:28:29,346 --> 00:28:31,406
Has its prom-court
preview issue coming up?

640
00:28:31,482 --> 00:28:32,882
Yeah.

641
00:28:32,950 --> 00:28:36,045
I got a proof.

642
00:28:36,120 --> 00:28:38,021
Tanner is the undisputed
front-runner

643
00:28:38,088 --> 00:28:39,351
For prom king this year.

644
00:28:42,393 --> 00:28:44,953
And it's...
It's not even close, really.

645
00:28:45,029 --> 00:28:47,089
What offends me more than anything

646
00:28:47,164 --> 00:28:49,360
Is the hypocrisy
and sexism of it all.

647
00:28:49,433 --> 00:28:51,197
If I were to come out as a lesbian,

648
00:28:51,268 --> 00:28:53,362
Would I all of a sudden be
a top candidate for prom queen?

649
00:28:53,437 --> 00:28:54,564
I think not.

650
00:28:54,839 --> 00:28:57,331
Congratulations, your Majesty.

651
00:28:57,408 --> 00:28:59,877
This has got to be a joke.
Oh, it's no joke.

652
00:28:59,944 --> 00:29:01,105
You're pretty much a lock.

653
00:29:01,178 --> 00:29:02,806
Yeah, you've got all our votes.

654
00:29:02,880 --> 00:29:04,840
And the votes of our various
minions and mini-mes.

655
00:29:04,882 --> 00:29:07,215
As for queen, they've got us
in a three-way.

656
00:29:07,284 --> 00:29:10,186
Tie, that is.
Most kids are undecided.

657
00:29:10,254 --> 00:29:12,450
They're waiting for you
to tell them what to think.

658
00:29:12,523 --> 00:29:14,389
Me?!
Everyone knows that 'mos

659
00:29:14,458 --> 00:29:17,292
Are always way ahead of
what's hot and what's so not.

660
00:29:17,361 --> 00:29:19,330
Well, on a completely
unrelated topic,

661
00:29:19,396 --> 00:29:21,092
I made you a batch of my famous

662
00:29:21,165 --> 00:29:22,997
Brigham yum-yum double fudge
brownies last night.

663
00:29:23,067 --> 00:29:25,559
'Shley, are you special?
Gays don't do carbs.

664
00:29:25,636 --> 00:29:29,937
Yeah, a carb to a 'mo is
like sunlight to a vampire.

665
00:29:30,007 --> 00:29:34,138
Carbs make gay people sparkle?

666
00:29:34,211 --> 00:29:36,077
So, I'm thinking maybe
we should hang out

667
00:29:36,146 --> 00:29:38,206
Just the two of us tonight,
sans "C" and 'Shley.

668
00:29:38,282 --> 00:29:40,046
Will they be cool with that?

669
00:29:40,117 --> 00:29:43,178
Those bitches can suck it.
I'm so over sharing you.

670
00:29:44,455 --> 00:29:48,984
Psst. Um, psst. Hey.

671
00:29:49,059 --> 00:29:51,426
Soledad.
Remember me?

672
00:29:51,495 --> 00:29:52,895
How could I forget?

673
00:29:52,963 --> 00:29:54,864
This is an "a" and gay
conversation,

674
00:29:54,932 --> 00:29:57,026
So kindly see your next
Tuesday out of it.

675
00:29:57,101 --> 00:30:01,232
Um, well, Tanner,
I just wanted to let you know

676
00:30:01,305 --> 00:30:03,365
That there's a G.S.A. Meeting
after school, so I thought...

677
00:30:03,440 --> 00:30:06,035
He doesn't want to join your
little fag-hag training club.

678
00:30:06,110 --> 00:30:08,045
That is a highly inflammatory term.

679
00:30:08,112 --> 00:30:10,877
I mean, Soledad, you did out
me to the entire school.

680
00:30:10,948 --> 00:30:12,917
Think of all the other
gay kids at this school

681
00:30:12,983 --> 00:30:14,584
That are still languishing
in the closet.

682
00:30:14,652 --> 00:30:17,588
You could be a real
role model for them.

683
00:30:19,957 --> 00:30:22,586
That's not my problem.

684
00:30:26,063 --> 00:30:28,623
Hey, so, we heard a vicious rumor

685
00:30:28,699 --> 00:30:31,191
That Fawcett's snagged you
all to herself after school?

686
00:30:31,268 --> 00:30:32,600
Word travels fast.

687
00:30:32,670 --> 00:30:34,332
Well, if that's how
we're gonna play it,

688
00:30:34,405 --> 00:30:35,805
I'm calling you after school Friday

689
00:30:35,940 --> 00:30:37,203
For one-on-one audition prep.

690
00:30:37,274 --> 00:30:39,140
We're gonna turn the shiz
out of "The Wiz."

691
00:30:39,209 --> 00:30:40,507
And Thursday you're all mine.

692
00:30:40,577 --> 00:30:42,341
'Topher and I are
gonna cook you din-din.

693
00:30:42,413 --> 00:30:45,042
Fawcett had made her move,
but it looked like

694
00:30:45,115 --> 00:30:47,482
The other queens weren't
going down without a fight.

695
00:30:47,551 --> 00:30:49,520
And then Friday night
is Cameron woods' party.

696
00:30:49,586 --> 00:30:52,215
We'll all be there, including
'Shley for some reason.

697
00:30:52,289 --> 00:30:55,453
I'm bringing enough diet,
caffeine-free ginger ale for everybody.

698
00:30:55,526 --> 00:30:59,019
Wow. Well, I guess my week's
planned out, then.

699
00:30:59,096 --> 00:31:02,123
Mm-hmm. We've so got you
booked, bitch. Boom.

700
00:31:05,469 --> 00:31:08,337
Wow.
This really works.

701
00:31:08,405 --> 00:31:09,685
Or did you prefer the other one?

702
00:31:09,740 --> 00:31:11,936
I'm really not very good at this.

703
00:31:12,009 --> 00:31:14,672
Tanner, I don't actually think

704
00:31:14,745 --> 00:31:16,611
That gays have a heightened
sense of fashion.

705
00:31:16,680 --> 00:31:18,478
I'm just asking you
to look at two options

706
00:31:18,549 --> 00:31:19,983
And choose the one you prefer.

707
00:31:20,050 --> 00:31:22,281
I like the one from before.

708
00:31:22,353 --> 00:31:24,584
Those kind of give you
'90s mom ass.

709
00:31:24,655 --> 00:31:26,521
Ah, thank you!
That is just the kind

710
00:31:26,590 --> 00:31:28,525
Of bitchy gay insight
I'm looking for.

711
00:31:28,592 --> 00:31:30,959
So, the bitchier I am,
the more you'll like me?

712
00:31:31,028 --> 00:31:33,725
Exactly.
But don't push it.

713
00:31:36,133 --> 00:31:38,125
You sure have a lot of stuff.

714
00:31:38,202 --> 00:31:39,727
I know.
Don't you love?

715
00:31:40,004 --> 00:31:42,439
I kind of have a thing
for labels...

716
00:31:42,506 --> 00:31:44,737
Chanel, Versace,

717
00:31:45,009 --> 00:31:47,672
Gay, fiercely fabulous.

718
00:31:47,745 --> 00:31:49,714
That's kind of like
your new comic strips.

719
00:31:49,780 --> 00:31:51,646
Books.
Whatevs.

720
00:31:51,715 --> 00:31:54,150
I'd much rather say hello
to a new handbag

721
00:31:54,218 --> 00:31:56,278
Than a friend or boyfriend.

722
00:31:56,353 --> 00:31:58,345
And they're much easier to return.

723
00:31:58,422 --> 00:32:00,584
Is that why you and Hamilton
broke up?

724
00:32:00,657 --> 00:32:03,286
Now, he is someone

725
00:32:03,360 --> 00:32:06,262
Who doesn't understand
the value of a label.

726
00:32:06,330 --> 00:32:08,526
Somehow me being
his "girlfriend" meant

727
00:32:08,599 --> 00:32:11,194
The whole cheerleading squad
suddenly became

728
00:32:11,268 --> 00:32:13,100
His own personal hookup harem.

729
00:32:13,170 --> 00:32:15,264
Gross.

730
00:32:15,339 --> 00:32:17,467
But now I've got you, bitch.

731
00:32:18,809 --> 00:32:20,607
Seriously, though.

732
00:32:20,677 --> 00:32:23,511
I feel like I can be myself
around you, you know?

733
00:32:23,580 --> 00:32:26,049
You're not trying to
screw me like a guy

734
00:32:26,116 --> 00:32:28,676
Or threatened by me like
every other girl in school.

735
00:32:28,752 --> 00:32:32,689
I guess that's the appeal
of this whole G.B.F. Thing.

736
00:32:32,756 --> 00:32:35,191
Not sure what I get out of it.

737
00:32:35,259 --> 00:32:38,127
Duh... you get to hang out with me.

738
00:32:41,465 --> 00:32:45,163
Okay, um...

739
00:32:45,235 --> 00:32:47,036
I could help you with
your chemistry homework.

740
00:32:47,071 --> 00:32:49,370
You're getting a "C," right?

741
00:32:49,440 --> 00:32:51,204
Mm.

742
00:32:51,275 --> 00:32:53,335
I'm actually kind of brills when
it comes to science-y stuff.

743
00:32:53,410 --> 00:32:55,072
Really?

744
00:32:56,580 --> 00:32:57,741
Can you keep a secret?

745
00:33:00,217 --> 00:33:04,655
Okay, my hair
is only 99.9% flawless.

746
00:33:04,721 --> 00:33:08,488
I mix all of my own hair serums
and conditioners in here.

747
00:33:08,559 --> 00:33:10,619
I'll have my own hair-care
line one day

748
00:33:10,694 --> 00:33:14,654
On, like, QVC or something,
finally make it big.

749
00:33:14,731 --> 00:33:16,131
That's when I realized

750
00:33:16,200 --> 00:33:18,362
Fawcett was more than just popular.

751
00:33:18,435 --> 00:33:20,427
She was actually kind of cool.

752
00:33:20,504 --> 00:33:24,339
Conversions.
This is easy.

753
00:33:26,143 --> 00:33:28,078
I know you and Tanner
had a falling out,

754
00:33:28,145 --> 00:33:30,341
But you're taking it
kind of literally.

755
00:33:30,414 --> 00:33:33,248
Yeah, well, my life is over.
So, thanks.

756
00:33:33,317 --> 00:33:36,651
Oh, come on, man. I mean,
you still got the two of us.

757
00:33:36,720 --> 00:33:41,454
For about 10 minutes. I never
RSVP to a nonstop pity party.

758
00:33:41,525 --> 00:33:44,586
So, I'm bound to eternity in
Loserland with you two. Great.

759
00:33:44,661 --> 00:33:46,323
That's a little harsh.

760
00:33:46,396 --> 00:33:48,763
And here I thought we were
all doing pretty okay,

761
00:33:48,832 --> 00:33:50,733
But I guess
we aren't sparkly enough

762
00:33:50,801 --> 00:33:53,396
Or have enough synthetic
hair extensions for you.

763
00:33:53,470 --> 00:33:55,110
Oh, my god, Sophie.
You know what I meant.

764
00:33:55,139 --> 00:33:56,334
No. You know what?

765
00:33:56,406 --> 00:33:58,375
Why don't we take a few days apart,

766
00:33:58,442 --> 00:34:01,241
Maybe without a couple losers
like us hanging around?

767
00:34:01,311 --> 00:34:03,871
You'll ascend to your
proper social station.

768
00:34:04,148 --> 00:34:06,640
Just be careful, though,
because we might not be here

769
00:34:06,717 --> 00:34:08,652
To bandage you up
next time you fall.

770
00:34:08,719 --> 00:34:10,119
Come on, Glenn.

771
00:34:10,187 --> 00:34:11,485
Sophie!

772
00:34:11,555 --> 00:34:14,889
Um, yeah.
Take it easy, bro.

773
00:34:15,159 --> 00:34:18,721
Glenn. Come on.
We were gonna watch "the voice."

774
00:34:22,366 --> 00:34:23,891
As the wheels
seemed to be coming off

775
00:34:24,168 --> 00:34:26,262
My old friend group, the next day,

776
00:34:26,336 --> 00:34:28,828
I was third-wheeling it,
Mormon-style.

777
00:34:28,906 --> 00:34:31,671
Wow. This is a whole lot
of meat, 'Shley.

778
00:34:31,742 --> 00:34:35,543
Well, that's what you like,
isn't it? Meat.

779
00:34:35,612 --> 00:34:37,274
Huh?

780
00:34:37,347 --> 00:34:39,543
No carbs.
I remembered.

781
00:34:39,616 --> 00:34:43,917
Oh, right.
Uh, mmm, meats with...

782
00:34:44,188 --> 00:34:48,353
sides of meats.

783
00:34:48,425 --> 00:34:52,328
Um, may I use the restroom?

784
00:34:58,735 --> 00:35:00,601
Whoa!
What are you doing?!

785
00:35:00,671 --> 00:35:03,266
Girl-talk time.
So, what do you think?

786
00:35:03,340 --> 00:35:05,639
Think about what?
'Topher.

787
00:35:05,709 --> 00:35:07,575
Do you think he's bored
with our relationship?

788
00:35:07,644 --> 00:35:08,737
I feel like he's bored.

789
00:35:08,812 --> 00:35:10,405
Um, I don't know.

790
00:35:10,480 --> 00:35:13,814
I'm worried because
we don't, you know...

791
00:35:13,884 --> 00:35:16,513
so I need some tips.
Tips?

792
00:35:16,587 --> 00:35:19,284
You gays are supposed to be experts
in man pleasing. So, spill.

793
00:35:19,356 --> 00:35:21,655
Uh...
do you think I should give him a B.J.?

794
00:35:21,725 --> 00:35:23,523
A what?!
Or an H.J.?

795
00:35:23,594 --> 00:35:24,755
Or how about an R.J.?

796
00:35:24,828 --> 00:35:27,559
Uh... I don't even know

797
00:35:27,631 --> 00:35:29,361
What an R.J. Could possibly be.

798
00:35:29,433 --> 00:35:32,767
Ugh. Me neither.
I was hoping you would.

799
00:35:32,836 --> 00:35:34,862
Are Mormons even allowed to...
What about backdoor?

800
00:35:34,938 --> 00:35:36,873
Oh, my god!
Tanner, honey.

801
00:35:36,940 --> 00:35:39,273
Please do not take the lord's
name in vain in my house.

802
00:35:39,343 --> 00:35:41,869
I'm sorry.
I actually did have to pee.

803
00:35:41,945 --> 00:35:44,676
Could we, uh, talk later?

804
00:35:44,748 --> 00:35:48,879
Fine, but you owe me girl-talk
time, mister, okay?

805
00:35:54,391 --> 00:35:56,917
Oh, Tanner, I am so, so sorry.

806
00:35:56,994 --> 00:35:58,462
'Topher just reminded me I have

807
00:35:58,528 --> 00:36:00,258
A junior republicans meeting
in like 20 minutes.

808
00:36:00,330 --> 00:36:01,696
Do you mind if 'tophie
takes you home?

809
00:36:01,765 --> 00:36:05,861
Um, s-sure, I guess.

810
00:36:18,515 --> 00:36:21,007
'Topher, this isn't my house.

811
00:36:21,285 --> 00:36:24,585
I know.
I just wanted to talk. Okay.

812
00:36:24,655 --> 00:36:26,351
You know, I've caught
you checking me out.

813
00:36:26,423 --> 00:36:28,823
Please don't beat me up! I'm so
sorry! It won't happen again!

814
00:36:28,859 --> 00:36:30,885
Whoa, dude.
Whew! Relax.

815
00:36:30,961 --> 00:36:34,591
I find it kind of flattering.

816
00:36:34,665 --> 00:36:38,363
So, what do you like
most about me, huh?

817
00:36:38,435 --> 00:36:42,497
What's my sexiest quality?

818
00:36:42,572 --> 00:36:44,768
Oh, I get it. You're one
of those straight guys

819
00:36:44,841 --> 00:36:47,538
Who likes to flirt with gay
guys for your own amusement.

820
00:36:47,611 --> 00:36:49,580
No, Tanner, that's actually not...
You know what?

821
00:36:49,646 --> 00:36:51,342
Contrary to what you might believe,

822
00:36:51,415 --> 00:36:54,510
We homos don't all sit around
pining for straight boys, okay?

823
00:36:54,584 --> 00:36:56,485
Some of us like the idea of a guy

824
00:36:56,553 --> 00:36:58,749
Actually being turned on by us.

825
00:36:58,822 --> 00:37:02,987
Does this feel straight to you?

826
00:37:03,060 --> 00:37:05,894
Um, it does, actually.

827
00:37:07,064 --> 00:37:09,533
You Mormons are a horny,
repressed people!

828
00:37:09,599 --> 00:37:10,897
You have no idea.

829
00:37:10,967 --> 00:37:13,835
Mnh! Wait! This is wrong.
You're with 'Shley.

830
00:37:13,904 --> 00:37:16,874
Dude, in two years,
I'm gonna go on my mission.

831
00:37:16,940 --> 00:37:18,909
In four years,
I'll probably be married

832
00:37:18,975 --> 00:37:21,501
With a bunch of redheaded
Rugrats running around.

833
00:37:21,578 --> 00:37:24,412
So, why don't you just sit back...

834
00:37:24,481 --> 00:37:27,849
relax...

835
00:37:27,918 --> 00:37:30,717
and let me get this
out of my system?

836
00:37:34,725 --> 00:37:36,694
Ooh.

837
00:37:36,760 --> 00:37:37,784
You okay?

838
00:37:37,861 --> 00:37:40,092
Uh, t-thanks.
I'll walk.

839
00:38:06,089 --> 00:38:08,456
So, I have some news for you.

840
00:38:08,525 --> 00:38:10,391
It's pretty Maj.
What?

841
00:38:10,460 --> 00:38:12,429
I may have snatched you
a prom date.

842
00:38:12,496 --> 00:38:14,089
His name is Christian.

843
00:38:14,164 --> 00:38:16,429
He went to theater camp
with me last summer.

844
00:38:16,500 --> 00:38:18,935
He's a tenor, a college boy,
and he's British.

845
00:38:19,002 --> 00:38:20,664
Love it?

846
00:38:20,737 --> 00:38:22,569
He sounds great.

847
00:38:22,639 --> 00:38:25,803
I'm just not sure if this
whole prom thing is for me.

848
00:38:25,876 --> 00:38:29,506
Okay. You're losing yourself.
Come with mama.

849
00:38:32,048 --> 00:38:33,744
Take a look, Tanner.

850
00:38:33,817 --> 00:38:37,413
This is every prom king
and queen since 1983.

851
00:38:37,487 --> 00:38:39,046
You notice anything?

852
00:38:39,122 --> 00:38:41,387
Not the most diverse selection.

853
00:38:41,458 --> 00:38:43,950
Huh.
All white, all straight,

854
00:38:44,027 --> 00:38:46,792
All jocks and pom-pom wranglers.

855
00:38:46,863 --> 00:38:50,027
Tanner, we could be the
ones to change all that.

856
00:38:50,100 --> 00:38:52,695
You could be the first
openly gay prom king

857
00:38:52,769 --> 00:38:54,670
And enjoy a hot date to boot,

858
00:38:54,738 --> 00:38:56,570
And I can be the first queen

859
00:38:56,640 --> 00:38:59,075
Who's actually deserving
of any notoriety.

860
00:38:59,142 --> 00:39:01,771
So, what do you say?

861
00:39:01,845 --> 00:39:03,643
I get you laid.
You get me crowned.

862
00:39:03,713 --> 00:39:05,079
You can lose that virginity

863
00:39:05,148 --> 00:39:06,912
Before you snatch up that diploma.

864
00:39:06,983 --> 00:39:08,884
Caprice, just because you
know another gay guy

865
00:39:08,952 --> 00:39:10,545
Doesn't mean I...

866
00:39:10,620 --> 00:39:13,886
Whoa! He's...
very attractive.

867
00:39:13,957 --> 00:39:15,619
Those lips.

868
00:39:15,692 --> 00:39:18,890
Mm-hmm. That's what we call
some high-speed DSLs.

869
00:39:18,962 --> 00:39:21,693
So?

870
00:39:21,765 --> 00:39:24,166
I'll... think about it.
Perf!

871
00:39:24,234 --> 00:39:26,100
I'm gonna invite him
to Cameron's tonight

872
00:39:26,169 --> 00:39:27,933
So you two can get
to know each other.

873
00:39:28,004 --> 00:39:29,597
Crap. I forgot that was tonight.

874
00:39:29,673 --> 00:39:31,733
Oh, relax.
It's gonna be "V" low-key.

875
00:39:35,579 --> 00:39:37,639
Everyone can relax.

876
00:39:37,714 --> 00:39:40,707
The people who matter have arrived.

877
00:39:43,553 --> 00:39:45,021
I'm gonna go see
if Christian's here.

878
00:39:45,088 --> 00:39:46,886
Ooh.
There are Christians here?

879
00:39:46,957 --> 00:39:49,620
Get your gay game face on.

880
00:39:49,693 --> 00:39:51,894
After tonight, you'll have
the prom date of your dreams.

881
00:39:51,895 --> 00:39:53,727
Oh.

882
00:39:53,797 --> 00:39:56,699
So, Caprice reeled you
in some Mangina, huh?

883
00:39:56,766 --> 00:39:58,792
Well played.
I guess.

884
00:39:58,869 --> 00:40:01,634
I mean, I don't even know
if he'll like me.

885
00:40:01,705 --> 00:40:03,901
Sounds like you need
some liquid courage.

886
00:40:03,974 --> 00:40:05,135
Follow me.

887
00:40:05,208 --> 00:40:07,768
Oh. Come on.

888
00:40:07,844 --> 00:40:11,144
You call this an ensemble?
Get it together, girl.

889
00:40:11,214 --> 00:40:13,809
Do not call me that.

890
00:40:13,884 --> 00:40:16,877
Wh-why? I meant, like,
"gurl" with a "u."

891
00:40:16,953 --> 00:40:18,785
Gurl!

892
00:40:18,855 --> 00:40:22,087
Not like you're a...
Oh, okay.

893
00:40:22,158 --> 00:40:24,127
Um, so, hey,
why don't we dust this off

894
00:40:24,194 --> 00:40:27,062
And you take me to the mall
and pick me out some eye shadow,

895
00:40:27,130 --> 00:40:28,689
Just like the old days, huh?

896
00:40:28,765 --> 00:40:30,563
You're so good with color.

897
00:40:30,634 --> 00:40:32,865
Yeah, I don't think
I'm leaving the house

898
00:40:32,936 --> 00:40:34,598
Till college, but, thanks.

899
00:40:34,671 --> 00:40:37,539
Oh, "b" boo.

900
00:40:37,607 --> 00:40:39,735
Listen. I get it.
I really do.

901
00:40:39,809 --> 00:40:43,246
With what happened with Tanner,
I know that you didn't

902
00:40:43,313 --> 00:40:46,772
Get to come out to me in the
way that you wanted to.

903
00:40:46,850 --> 00:40:49,718
We didn't get to have
our extra-special

904
00:40:49,786 --> 00:40:52,187
Mother/son lifetime movie moment.

905
00:40:52,255 --> 00:40:54,281
I know that.

906
00:40:54,558 --> 00:40:56,720
You don't want to go out
tonight, right?

907
00:40:56,793 --> 00:40:59,661
I got a plan "b"!

908
00:40:59,729 --> 00:41:02,597
Did you know that WebFlix

909
00:41:02,666 --> 00:41:05,067
Has an entire
gay and lesbian section?

910
00:41:05,135 --> 00:41:06,728
Blew my mind.

911
00:41:06,803 --> 00:41:09,932
Okay, "milk." I got "milk."
It's about a gay mayor.

912
00:41:10,006 --> 00:41:12,874
"Boys don't cry"...Now, this is
girl that wants to be a boy.

913
00:41:12,943 --> 00:41:14,844
That's a tricky one.

914
00:41:14,911 --> 00:41:17,210
"Brokeback Mountain"...
That's the cowboys.

915
00:41:17,280 --> 00:41:19,647
And something called "shortballs"...

916
00:41:19,716 --> 00:41:22,015
Oh, "shortbus."
"Shortbus."

917
00:41:22,085 --> 00:41:24,987
So, which one do you want
to pop in first, huh?

918
00:41:25,055 --> 00:41:28,048
Probably the cowboys, right?
That one's safe.

919
00:41:28,124 --> 00:41:31,253
Someone drank all my ginger ales.

920
00:41:31,328 --> 00:41:33,763
Hey, do you know
if there's caffeine/alcohol

921
00:41:33,830 --> 00:41:35,594
In a chica loca?

922
00:41:35,665 --> 00:41:37,634
No, 'Shley, of course not.

923
00:41:37,701 --> 00:41:39,294
Chug away.

924
00:41:41,171 --> 00:41:43,163
This was a bad idea.

925
00:41:43,239 --> 00:41:45,174
There is no getting cold feet now.

926
00:41:45,241 --> 00:41:46,971
We have got to rescue Tanner

927
00:41:47,043 --> 00:41:49,171
From those gay-snatching
fashion Nazis.

928
00:41:49,245 --> 00:41:53,012
Divide and conquer.

929
00:41:53,083 --> 00:41:55,609
Hey, sexy.

930
00:41:55,685 --> 00:41:58,849
Don't think me presumptuous
when I say "bottoms up."

931
00:42:00,724 --> 00:42:03,819
Ugh.
This tastes like ass.

932
00:42:03,893 --> 00:42:05,225
Mm-hmm.
Perfect for you.

933
00:42:05,295 --> 00:42:06,627
Funny.

934
00:42:06,696 --> 00:42:08,358
Loosen up.
I hear that's helpful.

935
00:42:08,632 --> 00:42:09,998
There you go.

936
00:42:10,066 --> 00:42:11,659
Look, don't let Caprice
pressure you.

937
00:42:11,735 --> 00:42:13,655
If you're really that nervous,
then just blow off

938
00:42:13,670 --> 00:42:16,731
Blowing what's his name and
come to prom as my arm candy.

939
00:42:16,806 --> 00:42:18,638
It might be kind of cool to, like,

940
00:42:18,708 --> 00:42:20,609
Actually go on a date or something.

941
00:42:20,677 --> 00:42:26,082
P.S... This one can
has over 600 calories.

942
00:42:26,149 --> 00:42:28,744
I thought carbs were like
gay kryptonite or something.

943
00:42:28,818 --> 00:42:30,946
Alcohol is the one exception. Duh.

944
00:42:31,021 --> 00:42:32,751
Now down it, bitch.

945
00:42:32,822 --> 00:42:34,882
Whoo!

946
00:42:34,958 --> 00:42:37,325
Well, it's just
freezing cold out there.

947
00:42:37,394 --> 00:42:39,829
Heath!
Don't stand on your pride.

948
00:42:39,896 --> 00:42:43,298
Get in the tent with Jake!
For crying out loud.

949
00:42:43,366 --> 00:42:45,392
Good. Get in there.
Snuggle up.

950
00:42:45,669 --> 00:42:47,900
Snuggle up for warmth.
There you go.

951
00:42:47,971 --> 00:42:50,304
Oh. Looks like
they're waking back up.

952
00:42:50,373 --> 00:42:54,868
Uh-oh.
Here we go. Game on.

953
00:42:54,944 --> 00:42:57,345
You know, I do sense
an affection there.

954
00:42:57,414 --> 00:43:00,384
I mean, you really do feel
they care about one another.

955
00:43:00,450 --> 00:43:03,420
Oh, my. Well, yeah.

956
00:43:03,687 --> 00:43:07,021
I guess necessity
is the mother of invention.

957
00:43:07,090 --> 00:43:09,389
I mean...

958
00:43:09,459 --> 00:43:11,121
you know, it's funny.
I guess back then

959
00:43:11,194 --> 00:43:13,163
They didn't even need to use
protection, really, right?

960
00:43:13,229 --> 00:43:15,095
You know, I'm gonna get a drink.

961
00:43:15,165 --> 00:43:17,657
They could have made
something out of like a...

962
00:43:17,734 --> 00:43:19,669
Some kind of lamb skin
or something,

963
00:43:19,736 --> 00:43:22,137
But there probably
wasn't time for that.

964
00:43:22,205 --> 00:43:24,800
A few hours and a lot
of drinks later,

965
00:43:24,874 --> 00:43:28,106
I was getting all the
frequently asked questions.

966
00:43:28,178 --> 00:43:32,115
So, with straight guys,
there's ass men and tit men,

967
00:43:32,182 --> 00:43:34,151
But what's the gay equivalent?

968
00:43:34,217 --> 00:43:36,015
Like, ball men?

969
00:43:36,086 --> 00:43:38,351
When you're getting gay with a guy,

970
00:43:38,421 --> 00:43:42,153
How do you decide who's the girl
and who's the boy?

971
00:43:42,225 --> 00:43:45,684
Not an expert, but I think
you're both the boy.

972
00:43:45,762 --> 00:43:47,856
That's kind of the point.

973
00:43:47,931 --> 00:43:49,297
Just Wiki that shit, freak.

974
00:43:49,365 --> 00:43:50,856
Leave him alone.

975
00:43:50,934 --> 00:43:52,835
Come on, slut.
You owe me a dance.

976
00:43:54,738 --> 00:43:57,207
<i>♪ You do your body work ♪</i>

977
00:43:57,273 --> 00:44:00,004
<i>♪ I feel my pulse
working overtime ♪</i>

978
00:44:00,076 --> 00:44:01,942
Oh, my god!
Sorry.

979
00:44:02,011 --> 00:44:03,309
<i>♪ You do your body work ♪</i>

980
00:44:04,881 --> 00:44:07,077
Oh. Sorry.

981
00:44:07,150 --> 00:44:09,278
Oh, you guys, I found you!

982
00:44:09,352 --> 00:44:11,014
Hi!

983
00:44:11,087 --> 00:44:13,113
'Shley.
Hi.

984
00:44:13,189 --> 00:44:14,189
Hi.
Hi.

985
00:44:14,257 --> 00:44:17,489
Hi and bye.

986
00:44:17,761 --> 00:44:21,027
Is it just me, or is she,
like, the worst Mormon ever?

987
00:44:21,097 --> 00:44:23,862
It's so not just you.
She's cray-cray.

988
00:44:23,933 --> 00:44:27,802
Hey! You!
Gaysian boy, come here.

989
00:44:27,871 --> 00:44:30,136
Ew. Get out.

990
00:44:30,206 --> 00:44:32,072
We're having
gay-guy/girl gab time.

991
00:44:32,142 --> 00:44:34,407
Seriously?
Oh, my god.

992
00:44:34,477 --> 00:44:36,912
There's a bean bag
in the other... Let's go.

993
00:44:36,980 --> 00:44:38,278
Sorry about this.
I can't wait.

994
00:44:38,348 --> 00:44:40,010
Really sorry.
God. Bitch.

995
00:44:40,083 --> 00:44:43,952
So, your friend Tanner won't
tell me anything about the J's.

996
00:44:44,020 --> 00:44:45,147
The... The who?

997
00:44:45,221 --> 00:44:47,156
The... The H.J.s
and the B.J.s,

998
00:44:47,223 --> 00:44:49,055
Pretty much any of the J's.

999
00:44:49,125 --> 00:44:51,924
But I've got an idea.

1000
00:44:51,995 --> 00:44:53,964
You are gonna show me how.

1001
00:44:54,030 --> 00:44:57,330
And it's not gonna count because
you're like supes gay-mosexual.

1002
00:44:57,400 --> 00:45:00,336
Uh, yeah, right.
Shh!

1003
00:45:00,403 --> 00:45:03,999
Just pretend I'm, like,
some super-hot guy,

1004
00:45:04,073 --> 00:45:06,941
Like David Archuleta.

1005
00:45:07,010 --> 00:45:08,808
Oh, David Archuleta?
David, don't you worry.

1006
00:45:08,878 --> 00:45:11,905
I'm gonna teach you all about
the H.J.s and the B.J.s

1007
00:45:11,981 --> 00:45:14,314
And the Jay-Zs and the J.J. Abrams.

1008
00:45:14,384 --> 00:45:16,853
No, wait. Hold on.

1009
00:45:16,920 --> 00:45:19,355
You're drunk, plus, you're Mormon,

1010
00:45:19,422 --> 00:45:21,516
Which, like, totally exacerbates
the whole being drunk thing.

1011
00:45:21,591 --> 00:45:23,492
"Exasturbates."

1012
00:45:23,560 --> 00:45:25,324
That's a funny word.

1013
00:45:25,395 --> 00:45:27,296
Yeah.

1014
00:45:27,363 --> 00:45:29,559
Yeah, anyway,
I'm... I'm not even...

1015
00:45:29,833 --> 00:45:30,926
What?

1016
00:45:31,000 --> 00:45:32,093
Gay.

1017
00:45:32,168 --> 00:45:33,898
Prove it, Gaysian.

1018
00:45:39,108 --> 00:45:40,974
Look who I found!

1019
00:45:41,044 --> 00:45:44,173
Sorry. Oh, hi.

1020
00:45:44,247 --> 00:45:45,909
You must be...

1021
00:45:45,982 --> 00:45:47,974
Christian. Hello, Tanner.

1022
00:45:48,051 --> 00:45:49,451
Even better in real life, right?

1023
00:45:49,519 --> 00:45:51,420
Even better with beer goggles,
she means.

1024
00:45:51,487 --> 00:45:53,319
Don't touch me.

1025
00:45:53,389 --> 00:45:55,290
Damn, you are pretty.

1026
00:45:55,358 --> 00:45:58,089
I mean handsome.
I mean pretty handsome.

1027
00:45:58,161 --> 00:46:02,326
'Sup, bro?

1028
00:46:02,398 --> 00:46:05,334
He's usually less special.

1029
00:46:05,401 --> 00:46:07,961
Do you maybe want a glass
of water or something, mate?

1030
00:46:08,037 --> 00:46:10,973
Oh, hi, there. I hate
to break up this little...

1031
00:46:11,040 --> 00:46:13,134
whatever this is,
but I need to talk to Tanner.

1032
00:46:13,209 --> 00:46:15,041
Tanner can't talk right now,
and he and Christian

1033
00:46:15,111 --> 00:46:16,579
Were about to have
a private moment alone.

1034
00:46:16,646 --> 00:46:18,726
Caprice, I really think
we got off on the wrong foot.

1035
00:46:18,882 --> 00:46:20,373
Yo, 'topher, welcome to the casa.

1036
00:46:20,450 --> 00:46:22,544
Thank you. Hey, is Tanner here?
I mean 'Shley.

1037
00:46:22,619 --> 00:46:24,952
Is 'Shley here?
She's my girlfriend. Love her.

1038
00:46:25,021 --> 00:46:26,182
Yeah.
She's in the back.

1039
00:46:26,256 --> 00:46:27,884
Okay. Thank you.
All right.

1040
00:46:31,294 --> 00:46:32,853
Hey, Glenn.

1041
00:46:32,929 --> 00:46:35,091
Oh, my god.
Ew, 'Shley.

1042
00:46:35,164 --> 00:46:37,190
Glenn, you really are straight?

1043
00:46:37,267 --> 00:46:41,398
No, no, he's totes not.
So it doesn't count. Right?

1044
00:46:41,471 --> 00:46:42,939
Oh, Jesus Christ.

1045
00:46:43,006 --> 00:46:44,975
Caprice, watch your mouth, please.

1046
00:46:45,041 --> 00:46:46,509
I could say the same for you,
"whore-mon."

1047
00:46:46,576 --> 00:46:48,169
I think I have to barf.

1048
00:46:48,244 --> 00:46:50,179
I'll hold your hair.

1049
00:46:51,581 --> 00:46:54,244
Hey, "T." Remember me?

1050
00:47:00,290 --> 00:47:02,987
I just ripped it off.
I just had to because...

1051
00:47:03,059 --> 00:47:07,622
Tan-pon, I heard you bulimed
cuisine all over a Mormon.

1052
00:47:07,697 --> 00:47:09,495
I thought I told you

1053
00:47:09,565 --> 00:47:11,557
To always drink
on an empty stomach.

1054
00:47:11,634 --> 00:47:13,603
I'm gonna go.

1055
00:47:13,670 --> 00:47:16,606
I'm kind of over
being the party's gay mascot

1056
00:47:16,673 --> 00:47:19,108
And of publicly humiliating myself

1057
00:47:19,175 --> 00:47:21,303
In front of potential dates.

1058
00:47:21,377 --> 00:47:23,312
You want Mindie to drive you?

1059
00:47:23,379 --> 00:47:25,371
Don't worry.
I'm totally sober.

1060
00:47:27,250 --> 00:47:30,084
No, thanks.
I'll walk.

1061
00:47:30,153 --> 00:47:33,021
Okay. Call me tomorrow.
Kisses. Mwah!

1062
00:47:33,089 --> 00:47:36,059
Oh, my god, you totally made out
with your gay Bestie.

1063
00:47:36,125 --> 00:47:38,458
No!

1064
00:47:45,134 --> 00:47:48,036
Oh, um...

1065
00:47:48,104 --> 00:47:51,632
I... am... drunk.

1066
00:47:51,708 --> 00:47:54,177
Me too.

1067
00:48:01,551 --> 00:48:04,350
What are you doing
in front of my house?

1068
00:48:04,420 --> 00:48:06,548
I have no clue.

1069
00:48:08,424 --> 00:48:10,689
Since I basically
have no friends left,

1070
00:48:10,760 --> 00:48:14,595
My mom decided to have
a queer-movie marathon.

1071
00:48:14,664 --> 00:48:17,691
But when we got to heath
and Jake grunting in a tent,

1072
00:48:17,767 --> 00:48:19,531
I started drinking heavily.

1073
00:48:23,439 --> 00:48:26,034
You walked all the way over here?

1074
00:48:26,109 --> 00:48:27,737
Mm-hmm.

1075
00:48:28,011 --> 00:48:31,038
I had this idea that I'd make
this grand entrance at the party

1076
00:48:31,114 --> 00:48:34,175
And make a huge scene,
but this is as far as I got.

1077
00:48:34,250 --> 00:48:36,014
Oops. Yeah.
I see.

1078
00:48:36,085 --> 00:48:38,145
It's not fair!

1079
00:48:38,221 --> 00:48:40,417
You get to be belle of the ball,

1080
00:48:40,490 --> 00:48:43,460
And I'm stuck home
with mommy dearest.

1081
00:48:43,526 --> 00:48:46,325
I'd trade places with you
in a second.

1082
00:48:46,396 --> 00:48:48,388
Just...
Just do me a favor.

1083
00:48:48,464 --> 00:48:50,057
Hmm?

1084
00:48:50,133 --> 00:48:55,128
When you win prom king,
you'll make a big speech

1085
00:48:55,204 --> 00:48:57,264
About, you know,
everything that you've learned,

1086
00:48:57,340 --> 00:48:59,434
You know, very Lohan.

1087
00:48:59,509 --> 00:49:03,674
Not really my style,
but... we'll see.

1088
00:49:08,484 --> 00:49:10,316
Sorry.
Still picturing you

1089
00:49:10,386 --> 00:49:13,379
Watching "brokeback" with your mom.

1090
00:49:13,456 --> 00:49:14,788
It's not funny!

1091
00:49:15,058 --> 00:49:17,118
I'm gonna have to emancipate
or something.

1092
00:49:17,193 --> 00:49:18,354
She's driving me crazy.

1093
00:49:18,428 --> 00:49:21,557
She's just being supportive.

1094
00:49:21,631 --> 00:49:25,693
Maybe everyone secretly wants
a G.B.F.,

1095
00:49:25,768 --> 00:49:28,169
Even moms.

1096
00:49:31,474 --> 00:49:36,412
Right now I would just
settle for, like, a B.F.

1097
00:49:39,115 --> 00:49:44,782
You mean like a best friend
or, like, boyfriend?

1098
00:49:47,857 --> 00:49:50,258
Either/or...

1099
00:49:50,326 --> 00:49:52,625
or both.

1100
00:50:20,189 --> 00:50:22,715
Wait. What?

1101
00:50:22,792 --> 00:50:24,522
Oh, my god, no, no.

1102
00:50:24,594 --> 00:50:27,393
Did we...?
We didn't, right?

1103
00:50:27,463 --> 00:50:29,261
You don't know?
Do you?

1104
00:50:29,332 --> 00:50:31,267
No, no, no, no,
we... We... We came in,

1105
00:50:31,334 --> 00:50:32,802
And we... We just...
We were drunk.

1106
00:50:32,869 --> 00:50:34,235
We passed out, I think.

1107
00:50:34,303 --> 00:50:36,238
Right. That sounds right.
Yeah.

1108
00:50:36,305 --> 00:50:38,399
Closet! Now!

1109
00:50:38,474 --> 00:50:39,567
Seriously? Oh!
Gah!

1110
00:50:45,348 --> 00:50:46,839
Honey, what was that?

1111
00:50:46,916 --> 00:50:49,715
Nothing.
I'm just cleaning up in here.

1112
00:50:49,785 --> 00:50:52,721
Yeah, it does smell
kind of musky in here.

1113
00:50:52,788 --> 00:50:56,384
So, I've got bubbling cinnabons
in the microwave

1114
00:50:56,459 --> 00:50:57,825
And some chocolate milk for you.

1115
00:50:57,894 --> 00:50:59,453
Super.
I'll be right there.

1116
00:50:59,529 --> 00:51:01,293
Come on.

1117
00:51:04,200 --> 00:51:05,566
Thanks for that.

1118
00:51:05,635 --> 00:51:08,195
I'm sorry.
I'm just not ready.

1119
00:51:08,271 --> 00:51:12,231
I don't even know what
I'm doing here. Ugh, god.

1120
00:51:12,308 --> 00:51:14,504
Wait!
What?

1121
00:51:14,577 --> 00:51:18,673
Could you, uh, just go that way?

1122
00:51:18,748 --> 00:51:20,842
So, first you want
to put me back in the closet,

1123
00:51:20,917 --> 00:51:22,909
And now you want me
to jump out your window?

1124
00:51:23,186 --> 00:51:25,382
Yes.
Real nice, Tanner.

1125
00:51:25,454 --> 00:51:26,922
I'll make it up to you.
I swear.

1126
00:51:27,190 --> 00:51:28,783
Yeah, whatever.
It's fine. I get it.

1127
00:51:31,427 --> 00:51:34,795
<i>♪ I don't wanna be all right ♪</i>

1128
00:51:34,864 --> 00:51:38,665
<i>♪ I don't wanna feel just okay ♪</i>

1129
00:51:38,734 --> 00:51:42,603
<i>♪ I wanna see everything ♪</i>

1130
00:51:42,672 --> 00:51:46,439
<i>♪ I wanna go everywhere ♪</i>

1131
00:51:46,509 --> 00:51:48,603
<i>♪ I wanna settle down ♪</i>

1132
00:51:48,678 --> 00:51:50,374
<i>♪ Hey, lover ♪</i>

1133
00:51:50,446 --> 00:51:52,847
The next Monday, I still
couldn't shake my hangover

1134
00:51:52,915 --> 00:51:55,908
Or what happened
between Brent and me.

1135
00:51:55,985 --> 00:51:59,217
I mean, what was I thinking?

1136
00:51:59,288 --> 00:52:01,951
<i>♪ I don't wanna simplify it ♪</i>

1137
00:52:02,225 --> 00:52:04,421
Hey, "T."
Amazing news.

1138
00:52:04,493 --> 00:52:07,361
Christian's willing to forget
about your projectile vomit

1139
00:52:07,430 --> 00:52:09,456
And general Schwastedness
this weekend.

1140
00:52:09,532 --> 00:52:11,398
He's still willing to go
to the prom with you.

1141
00:52:11,467 --> 00:52:13,936
Really? Still?
Believe it, bitch.

1142
00:52:14,003 --> 00:52:15,972
Apparently, you being
the only decent-looking,

1143
00:52:16,239 --> 00:52:17,935
Age-appropriate gay guy
in a 20-mile radius

1144
00:52:18,007 --> 00:52:20,772
Has given him a convenient case
of boner-induced amnesia.

1145
00:52:20,843 --> 00:52:24,439
He really thinks
I'm decent-looking?

1146
00:52:24,513 --> 00:52:25,640
Yeah.

1147
00:52:25,715 --> 00:52:27,240
Just one condition...

1148
00:52:27,316 --> 00:52:30,343
Lay off the cosmo-tini-ritas
on prom night, okay?

1149
00:52:30,419 --> 00:52:32,285
That definitely won't be a problem.

1150
00:52:32,355 --> 00:52:36,656
Yay! This is gonna be
so homo-doralbe!

1151
00:52:36,726 --> 00:52:39,628
Come on, Tan-Tut.

1152
00:52:39,695 --> 00:52:43,393
Thank you so much.

1153
00:52:43,466 --> 00:52:46,300
I'd like to get
two tickets to prom.

1154
00:52:46,369 --> 00:52:47,860
Oh, okay, then.

1155
00:52:47,937 --> 00:52:50,634
Just write down
the name of your date here

1156
00:52:50,706 --> 00:52:53,369
And also her school if she...
"He."

1157
00:52:53,442 --> 00:52:54,842
Um, excuse me?

1158
00:52:54,910 --> 00:52:57,345
He. He.
Something funny?

1159
00:52:57,413 --> 00:52:58,779
No, "he,"as in "him,"

1160
00:52:58,848 --> 00:53:02,717
Pronouns that describe my date,
who is a dude.

1161
00:53:02,785 --> 00:53:04,981
Yikes. Sorry.
To get the couple's special,

1162
00:53:05,054 --> 00:53:07,614
You need to be a traditional
boy/girl pairing.

1163
00:53:07,690 --> 00:53:08,885
You want me to fight
this bitch, Tanner?

1164
00:53:08,958 --> 00:53:10,722
Sorry, but that's just the policy.

1165
00:53:10,793 --> 00:53:13,456
Tanner, I just want you to know
that I share your outrage.

1166
00:53:13,529 --> 00:53:15,623
Now, what are we gonna do about this?
"We"?

1167
00:53:15,698 --> 00:53:17,530
I just thought you could use
the G.S.A.'s help

1168
00:53:17,600 --> 00:53:19,040
To right this
blatant discrimination.

1169
00:53:19,068 --> 00:53:20,627
That's why our group exists.

1170
00:53:20,703 --> 00:53:22,695
Please come to our meeting
after school.

1171
00:53:22,772 --> 00:53:25,571
Thanks, "sole-hag," but
we can fight out own battles.

1172
00:53:25,641 --> 00:53:27,371
This isn't over.

1173
00:53:29,078 --> 00:53:33,448
It's just outrageous.
I mean, what is this... 2008?

1174
00:53:33,516 --> 00:53:34,916
Okay, that's 20.
Give me 20 more.

1175
00:53:34,984 --> 00:53:37,681
You want to stay a four-pack
queer forever? Let's go!

1176
00:53:37,753 --> 00:53:38,914
McKenzie has a different take

1177
00:53:38,988 --> 00:53:40,650
On the whole
"love thy neighbor" thing.

1178
00:53:40,723 --> 00:53:42,487
Yeah, and apparently
you can't get enough

1179
00:53:42,558 --> 00:53:44,424
Of that neighbor lovin'.

1180
00:53:44,493 --> 00:53:46,826
McKenzie price is deceased,
socially, at this school.

1181
00:53:46,896 --> 00:53:48,956
I've already got
the Facebook post composed.

1182
00:53:49,031 --> 00:53:51,762
But that defeats the purpose.

1183
00:53:51,834 --> 00:53:53,530
I think I'm gonna go

1184
00:53:53,602 --> 00:53:55,503
To the G.S.A. Meeting after school.

1185
00:53:56,739 --> 00:53:59,334
No. Soledad and her little group...

1186
00:53:59,408 --> 00:54:01,400
It'll totally downgrade your rep.

1187
00:54:01,477 --> 00:54:02,911
Plus, those busted bitches
were the ones

1188
00:54:02,978 --> 00:54:04,469
That dragged you out of the closet.

1189
00:54:04,547 --> 00:54:06,675
Remember?
You want my advices?

1190
00:54:06,749 --> 00:54:08,615
Just buy the stag tickets
and get the "F" over it.

1191
00:54:08,684 --> 00:54:10,983
Please don't tell me you're
seriously considering this.

1192
00:54:11,053 --> 00:54:13,852
What have I got to lose?
I mean, they outed me,

1193
00:54:13,923 --> 00:54:17,860
But at least their intentions
were kind of noble, I guess.

1194
00:54:17,927 --> 00:54:20,954
And let me just say...
If you guys really claim to be my friends,

1195
00:54:21,030 --> 00:54:22,555
You could focus a little less

1196
00:54:22,631 --> 00:54:24,964
On how much I match your outfit
on any given day

1197
00:54:25,034 --> 00:54:27,765
And show some concern
for my freaking equal rights!

1198
00:54:27,837 --> 00:54:31,831
<i>♪ A-amazing, a-a-amazing ♪</i>

1199
00:54:31,907 --> 00:54:35,036
P.S... Are my arms looking
Michelle Obama toned

1200
00:54:35,111 --> 00:54:36,909
Or Madonna scary?

1201
00:54:36,979 --> 00:54:39,975
Hey! Hey! Hey!
Have you heard about Tanner?

1202
00:54:40,049 --> 00:54:42,985
What? What did... I didn't...
What did you hear?

1203
00:54:43,052 --> 00:54:45,078
Well, apparently
he totally threw down

1204
00:54:45,154 --> 00:54:46,918
With McKenzie price over prom.

1205
00:54:46,989 --> 00:54:48,981
Yeah, he was all like, "I'm
gonna take a dude as my date,"

1206
00:54:49,058 --> 00:54:50,778
And she was all like,
"oh, not on my watch,"

1207
00:54:50,793 --> 00:54:52,386
And then he was all like,
"oh, yeah,

1208
00:54:52,461 --> 00:54:53,827
We'll see about that,
you c-word-face mofo ho."

1209
00:54:53,896 --> 00:54:58,061
Hold that, Wonton. Tanner
wants to ask a guy to prom?

1210
00:54:58,134 --> 00:55:00,535
Yeah.
I have no idea who, though.

1211
00:55:00,603 --> 00:55:02,731
Hey, maybe he met someone.

1212
00:55:05,074 --> 00:55:07,509
No one I can think of.

1213
00:55:07,576 --> 00:55:09,408
Me neither.

1214
00:55:09,478 --> 00:55:10,844
See ya.

1215
00:55:10,913 --> 00:55:12,973
First order of business,
G.S.A.'Ers...

1216
00:55:13,048 --> 00:55:16,416
I'd like to introduce
our first actually gay member,

1217
00:55:16,485 --> 00:55:18,647
Tanner Daniels!
Whoo!

1218
00:55:18,721 --> 00:55:20,690
Welcome, bro dude.

1219
00:55:20,756 --> 00:55:23,658
Good to have another member
with a member representin'.

1220
00:55:23,726 --> 00:55:25,126
Uh, right. Well, I'm just here

1221
00:55:25,194 --> 00:55:27,561
Because I was trying
to buy prom tickets, and...

1222
00:55:27,630 --> 00:55:30,794
And he couldn't because
of our school's unjust,

1223
00:55:30,866 --> 00:55:32,858
Totally outdated
prom-date policies.

1224
00:55:32,935 --> 00:55:35,029
So, what are we
gonna do about this?

1225
00:55:35,104 --> 00:55:36,504
"We"?

1226
00:55:36,572 --> 00:55:38,939
Yeah.
I am joining the G.S.A.

1227
00:55:39,008 --> 00:55:42,968
To support my G.B.F.
Move.

1228
00:55:43,045 --> 00:55:44,741
Sorry.
I'm sorry.

1229
00:55:44,814 --> 00:55:48,615
Um, Fawcett, thank you,
but, um, we're at capacity.

1230
00:55:48,684 --> 00:55:50,414
So we don't really...

1231
00:55:50,486 --> 00:55:54,048
Soledad, the G.S.A. Is open
to anyone who wants to join.

1232
00:55:54,123 --> 00:55:57,116
But, Ms. Hoegel,
this is my thing, you know?

1233
00:55:57,193 --> 00:55:59,594
She has things, lots of things,

1234
00:55:59,662 --> 00:56:03,064
And she's trying to take
my... My, uh...

1235
00:56:03,132 --> 00:56:04,794
she's...
Are you quite done?

1236
00:56:06,101 --> 00:56:08,832
So, can we please just...
Just one moment, Fawcett.

1237
00:56:08,904 --> 00:56:12,068
I've noticed some disturbing trends

1238
00:56:12,141 --> 00:56:14,542
In this school as of late.

1239
00:56:14,610 --> 00:56:17,739
It seems that many of you girls
are treating Tanner

1240
00:56:17,813 --> 00:56:21,944
As more of a prize to be won
than an actual person.

1241
00:56:22,017 --> 00:56:24,009
Ms. Hoegel, that's ridiculous.

1242
00:56:24,086 --> 00:56:26,453
Right, "T"?

1243
00:56:26,522 --> 00:56:29,617
Listen, girls.
I get the appeal.

1244
00:56:29,692 --> 00:56:33,185
Now, I myself had
a gay best friend once and...

1245
00:56:33,262 --> 00:56:37,165
Oh, we were roommates
for many fruitful years.

1246
00:56:37,233 --> 00:56:42,001
But now he's no longer with us.

1247
00:56:43,839 --> 00:56:45,569
Oh.

1248
00:56:45,641 --> 00:56:47,735
Oh, damn.

1249
00:56:47,810 --> 00:56:49,506
What?
Where'd he go?

1250
00:56:49,578 --> 00:56:51,911
He obvi died of the HIV, dumbass.

1251
00:56:51,981 --> 00:56:53,973
Oh, god, no!

1252
00:56:54,049 --> 00:56:56,609
He moved to San Diego
with a leather queen.

1253
00:56:56,685 --> 00:57:01,680
I meant myself and my cat...
Anderson coo-purr.

1254
00:57:03,959 --> 00:57:05,655
Oh, my god.

1255
00:57:05,728 --> 00:57:10,666
We're very happy,
Mr. Coo-purr and I.

1256
00:57:10,733 --> 00:57:12,668
What are we gonna do
about this prom situation?

1257
00:57:12,735 --> 00:57:14,727
If you can't take your boy toy
to prom,

1258
00:57:14,803 --> 00:57:16,635
I will lead a school-wide boycott,

1259
00:57:16,705 --> 00:57:22,110
And if they don't meet my...
I mean our... Demands

1260
00:57:22,177 --> 00:57:26,945
Then I will just host my own
cooler alterna-prom.

1261
00:57:27,016 --> 00:57:28,985
Fawcett, you'd do that?

1262
00:57:29,051 --> 00:57:32,920
I mean, prom's your night.
You're a shoe-in for prom queen.

1263
00:57:32,988 --> 00:57:35,958
Come on. What's the point
of being queen

1264
00:57:36,025 --> 00:57:38,688
When I don't have a fabulous
king to share it with?

1265
00:57:38,761 --> 00:57:41,287
You know what, Soledad?

1266
00:57:41,564 --> 00:57:43,692
You have done such a great job
with this group,

1267
00:57:43,766 --> 00:57:45,962
But I think it's time
that some things

1268
00:57:46,035 --> 00:57:47,697
Actually changed
around this school.

1269
00:57:47,770 --> 00:57:51,229
Who's with me?
Whoo!

1270
00:57:55,978 --> 00:57:57,640
Hey, Tanner, looking good.

1271
00:57:57,713 --> 00:57:59,011
Hey. Thanks.

1272
00:57:59,081 --> 00:58:00,572
Ugh!
W-T-F, "T"?

1273
00:58:00,649 --> 00:58:02,880
I secure you a date
with the hottest teen homo

1274
00:58:02,952 --> 00:58:05,148
In the Tri-State area,
and that Jizz-bin

1275
00:58:05,220 --> 00:58:06,779
Still gets your endorsement?

1276
00:58:06,855 --> 00:58:10,019
What?
But I didn't ever... What?

1277
00:58:10,092 --> 00:58:12,994
"Tanner Daniels endorsed
Fawcett brooks yesterday

1278
00:58:13,062 --> 00:58:14,553
"At the G.S.A. Meeting.

1279
00:58:14,630 --> 00:58:16,861
The new power B.F.F.s known as..."

1280
00:58:16,932 --> 00:58:19,561
G-Fawce.
Cute, isn't it?

1281
00:58:19,635 --> 00:58:21,570
You really think
another bland blonde like her

1282
00:58:21,637 --> 00:58:23,162
Deserves the crown, Tanner?

1283
00:58:23,238 --> 00:58:26,174
Well, at least she stands up
for my... My rights or whatever.

1284
00:58:26,241 --> 00:58:27,921
What? Please.
This hack-tivist doesn't give

1285
00:58:27,977 --> 00:58:29,673
A flying fairy about gay rights.

1286
00:58:29,745 --> 00:58:31,941
She just did it to gain
the advantage with you.

1287
00:58:32,014 --> 00:58:34,210
Oh, you mean like what you did
with that male-bait, Christian?

1288
00:58:34,283 --> 00:58:36,616
Whatever! At least I tried
to bribe him with sex.

1289
00:58:36,685 --> 00:58:38,347
I treated him
like an actual human being

1290
00:58:38,621 --> 00:58:40,783
And not some asexual,
neutered little purse puppy.

1291
00:58:40,856 --> 00:58:42,119
Come on, tan.
I've had enough

1292
00:58:42,191 --> 00:58:43,989
Bad-dinner-theater dramatics
for one day.

1293
00:58:44,059 --> 00:58:46,028
We've got a revolution to plan.

1294
00:58:46,095 --> 00:58:48,121
Do not come for my craft, bitch!

1295
00:58:48,197 --> 00:58:50,063
Do not come for my bitch, bitch!

1296
00:58:50,132 --> 00:58:53,000
Aah!

1297
00:58:53,068 --> 00:58:55,128
Yeah, it sounds great.

1298
00:58:55,204 --> 00:58:58,868
Right. Promise.
No drinks for me.

1299
00:58:58,941 --> 00:59:01,877
See you then, dude.

1300
00:59:03,646 --> 00:59:05,012
Hey.

1301
00:59:05,080 --> 00:59:06,946
What's up?

1302
00:59:07,016 --> 00:59:08,382
Not much.

1303
00:59:08,651 --> 00:59:11,052
You're making
quite the stank over prom,

1304
00:59:11,120 --> 00:59:14,056
Joining the G.S.A.,
Endorsing your new Bestie.

1305
00:59:14,123 --> 00:59:18,652
I didn't endorse anyone.
I just... It's not fair.

1306
00:59:18,727 --> 00:59:20,787
We should be treated
like everyone else.

1307
00:59:20,863 --> 00:59:25,665
"We"? I mean,
you got to ask me first.

1308
00:59:25,734 --> 00:59:27,794
What are you talking about?

1309
00:59:27,870 --> 00:59:30,863
You and me. Prom.

1310
00:59:30,939 --> 00:59:33,306
Uh...

1311
00:59:33,375 --> 00:59:37,142
Caprice set up this thing
with her friend. I just...

1312
00:59:37,212 --> 00:59:39,078
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Who said anything

1313
00:59:39,148 --> 00:59:40,428
About us going to prom together?

1314
00:59:40,683 --> 00:59:42,879
Just that...
No, no, I was saying,

1315
00:59:42,951 --> 00:59:46,410
Like, if you wanted
a friend to go with,

1316
00:59:46,689 --> 00:59:50,057
But, like, obviously you got
that, you know, taken care of,

1317
00:59:50,125 --> 00:59:53,425
So, you know, I hope
your prince charming

1318
00:59:53,696 --> 00:59:56,723
Gives you everything you want...

1319
00:59:56,799 --> 00:59:57,960
and also crabs.

1320
01:00:10,145 --> 01:00:12,808
I got your Facebook message.

1321
01:00:12,881 --> 01:00:15,817
Why are you wearing sunglasses?

1322
01:00:17,786 --> 01:00:20,221
Does your vocal coach
know you smoke?

1323
01:00:23,192 --> 01:00:25,320
Look, we all know you're gayer

1324
01:00:25,394 --> 01:00:28,057
Than a very special episode
of "glee."

1325
01:00:28,130 --> 01:00:30,224
I am not!

1326
01:00:30,299 --> 01:00:32,234
What's your point?

1327
01:00:32,301 --> 01:00:35,931
Well, I need a minion,
and you need a diva to worship.

1328
01:00:36,004 --> 01:00:39,236
With Tanner and Fawcett
heading up this fey prom,

1329
01:00:39,308 --> 01:00:40,776
That leaves an opportunity

1330
01:00:40,843 --> 01:00:42,436
For me to be the queen
of the real one.

1331
01:00:42,511 --> 01:00:46,346
So, how would you like to be
my date, maybe even my king?

1332
01:00:48,784 --> 01:00:50,184
All right, if you still
need convincing,

1333
01:00:50,252 --> 01:00:53,154
Check out a pic
of Tanner's prom date.

1334
01:00:53,222 --> 01:00:55,191
He can do better, but I'm in.

1335
01:00:59,361 --> 01:01:00,954
Hi, there.
Caprice, you said

1336
01:01:01,029 --> 01:01:03,157
You had something
you wanted to talk about?

1337
01:01:03,232 --> 01:01:05,360
I do.

1338
01:01:08,437 --> 01:01:10,133
Love your cloak.

1339
01:01:10,205 --> 01:01:11,434
Thanks.

1340
01:01:14,810 --> 01:01:16,938
Support traditional
prom-going values.

1341
01:01:17,012 --> 01:01:21,006
Buy tickets to the official,
school-sanctioned prom.

1342
01:01:21,083 --> 01:01:24,884
Attend the prom by students,
for all students.

1343
01:01:26,855 --> 01:01:28,323
Can I have one, please?

1344
01:01:28,390 --> 01:01:30,188
No.
Um, sorry.

1345
01:01:30,259 --> 01:01:32,389
You're not on our list
of approved students.

1346
01:01:32,415 --> 01:01:32,947
What?

1347
01:01:32,995 --> 01:01:35,863
This being an Indie operation,
we've got very limited space,

1348
01:01:35,931 --> 01:01:38,196
But I'm sure Caprice's
old-fashioned loser dance

1349
01:01:38,267 --> 01:01:40,896
Has plenty of tickets
available. Thank you.

1350
01:01:42,104 --> 01:01:44,005
Fawcett, what the hell was that?!

1351
01:01:44,072 --> 01:01:47,509
Tan, if we want to pull off this
whole gay-inclusive-prom thing,

1352
01:01:47,576 --> 01:01:51,035
We're gonna have to
keep it kind of... exclusive.

1353
01:01:51,113 --> 01:01:53,014
Look, I didn't make up these rules,

1354
01:01:53,081 --> 01:01:54,913
But a fugly prom is a failed prom.

1355
01:01:56,585 --> 01:01:58,520
So wrong.

1356
01:01:58,587 --> 01:02:01,284
You smell great.

1357
01:02:02,591 --> 01:02:04,423
Thank you.

1358
01:02:04,493 --> 01:02:06,086
I told you.
This is crazy.

1359
01:02:06,161 --> 01:02:08,562
It's like freaking
high-school "game of thrones"

1360
01:02:08,831 --> 01:02:10,891
Out here or something.

1361
01:02:10,966 --> 01:02:13,492
Sorry, Ellen Jr.,
But you can't take

1362
01:02:13,569 --> 01:02:15,265
Your poor man's Portia
to this dance.

1363
01:02:15,337 --> 01:02:17,169
Try the pro-sodomy prom.

1364
01:02:17,239 --> 01:02:19,572
You do know that oral
counts as sodomy, right?

1365
01:02:19,842 --> 01:02:23,006
So, with the amount of going
down that goes down at prom,

1366
01:02:23,078 --> 01:02:26,207
You might want to rethink
the concept. Right, Brent?

1367
01:02:26,281 --> 01:02:29,217
By the way, did they change
the official prom song

1368
01:02:29,284 --> 01:02:31,583
To "trapped in the closet"
just for you?

1369
01:02:31,854 --> 01:02:34,016
Nice try, lies-bian,
but I know for a fact

1370
01:02:34,089 --> 01:02:36,422
That my boo Brent
is as straight as they come.

1371
01:02:36,491 --> 01:02:40,053
Like Kanye or Diddy or Tyler Perry.

1372
01:02:40,128 --> 01:02:42,222
Whatev.

1373
01:02:42,297 --> 01:02:44,926
Er. Whatever.

1374
01:02:45,000 --> 01:02:48,368
The full word.
I said it all.

1375
01:02:49,872 --> 01:02:52,967
'tophie, I want to go to cool prom.

1376
01:02:53,041 --> 01:02:55,476
Hey, 'Shley,
you know Caprice calls you

1377
01:02:55,544 --> 01:02:57,570
A Ginger-snatch
behind your back, right?

1378
01:02:57,646 --> 01:02:59,080
She does?

1379
01:02:59,147 --> 01:03:01,173
Well, Fawcett said your religion

1380
01:03:01,250 --> 01:03:04,049
Is just scientology without
birth control or famous people.

1381
01:03:04,119 --> 01:03:07,089
Well, you know what?

1382
01:03:07,155 --> 01:03:09,317
"F" you both.

1383
01:03:09,391 --> 01:03:11,189
She'll be fine.

1384
01:03:11,260 --> 01:03:15,493
And we'll take two tickets to
the 100% totally un-gay prom.

1385
01:03:15,564 --> 01:03:17,192
Thank you.

1386
01:03:18,634 --> 01:03:20,933
Mm. Cute shorts.

1387
01:03:21,003 --> 01:03:22,904
And you.

1388
01:03:22,971 --> 01:03:25,634
I hear you and spigot here
are denying

1389
01:03:25,908 --> 01:03:28,002
Certain less-than-favorable
people tickets.

1390
01:03:28,076 --> 01:03:29,544
Relax, "so-fat."

1391
01:03:29,611 --> 01:03:31,978
You and "memoirs of a gay nerd"
are allowed to come.

1392
01:03:32,047 --> 01:03:35,313
I'm giving you a temporary pass
to the cool kids' table.

1393
01:03:35,384 --> 01:03:37,649
We wouldn't come
if you paid us, Fawcett.

1394
01:03:37,920 --> 01:03:40,185
Or should I say "fascist"?

1395
01:03:40,255 --> 01:03:42,247
It's your social funeral, sweetie.

1396
01:03:42,324 --> 01:03:45,089
I'll start mourning now.

1397
01:03:45,160 --> 01:03:50,360
So-fat! I mean, Sophie...
Damn it... Wait!

1398
01:03:50,432 --> 01:03:52,594
You know what?

1399
01:03:52,668 --> 01:03:56,298
You both have become so much more

1400
01:03:56,371 --> 01:04:00,240
Than these bitches'
sexless accessories.

1401
01:04:00,309 --> 01:04:03,609
You've become full-blown tools,

1402
01:04:03,679 --> 01:04:06,114
In every sense of the word.

1403
01:04:07,616 --> 01:04:09,141
Oh.

1404
01:04:14,256 --> 01:04:17,283
Tanner. Tanner.

1405
01:04:17,359 --> 01:04:20,454
Tanner! Tanner!

1406
01:04:20,529 --> 01:04:23,465
Tanner!

1407
01:04:23,532 --> 01:04:25,091
What is your deal?

1408
01:04:25,167 --> 01:04:27,329
I can't do this anymore!
Excuse me?

1409
01:04:27,402 --> 01:04:29,701
The last I checked,
this was all for you.

1410
01:04:29,972 --> 01:04:31,531
Is it?

1411
01:04:31,606 --> 01:04:34,440
You know I actually started to
believe that you were my friend?

1412
01:04:34,509 --> 01:04:37,479
But what is this, really?
Am I just some tool to you,

1413
01:04:37,546 --> 01:04:41,176
A wrench so that you can screw
over Caprice and 'Shley?

1414
01:04:41,249 --> 01:04:44,378
Wrenches don't screw things.
God, you are gay.

1415
01:04:44,453 --> 01:04:46,649
But you're right.

1416
01:04:46,722 --> 01:04:50,181
Look, at first I just wanted
to keep you to myself.

1417
01:04:50,258 --> 01:04:56,289
After Hamilton dumped me...
Yeah, it's true, he dumped me...

1418
01:04:56,365 --> 01:04:59,028
I thought I needed you
by my side to win.

1419
01:04:59,101 --> 01:05:01,161
But it's different now.

1420
01:05:01,236 --> 01:05:03,569
I really like hanging
out with you...

1421
01:05:03,638 --> 01:05:05,436
for real.

1422
01:05:05,507 --> 01:05:07,476
Then why create a separate prom?

1423
01:05:07,542 --> 01:05:09,636
I mean, you're gonna win
queen no matter what.

1424
01:05:09,711 --> 01:05:12,738
Don't be so sure.

1425
01:05:13,015 --> 01:05:15,610
I took a peek at the polling data.

1426
01:05:15,684 --> 01:05:17,243
I rule with the popular kids,

1427
01:05:17,319 --> 01:05:19,311
But the other 90%,
the rest of the school,

1428
01:05:19,388 --> 01:05:22,187
Just think I'm a soulless bitch.

1429
01:05:22,257 --> 01:05:24,351
I mean, they'd rather
vote for 'Shley.

1430
01:05:24,426 --> 01:05:26,588
At least she's nice.

1431
01:05:26,661 --> 01:05:31,224
Caprice...
She's got talent.

1432
01:05:31,299 --> 01:05:32,631
What have I got?

1433
01:05:36,438 --> 01:05:39,340
You have me.

1434
01:05:39,408 --> 01:05:41,104
Really?

1435
01:05:43,145 --> 01:05:45,614
You're more than what people
see on the surface, Fawcett,

1436
01:05:45,680 --> 01:05:47,615
And you're the only one
who stood up for me

1437
01:05:47,682 --> 01:05:51,642
When it really mattered,
so let's make a compromise.

1438
01:05:51,720 --> 01:05:54,053
You let everyone come
to the alterna-prom,

1439
01:05:54,122 --> 01:05:56,182
And I'll make sure that
you get that crown.

1440
01:05:56,258 --> 01:05:57,453
Deal?

1441
01:05:57,526 --> 01:06:00,325
Yeah.

1442
01:06:04,099 --> 01:06:08,799
Thanks, all of you, for helping
to keep our prom gayness-free.

1443
01:06:09,071 --> 01:06:14,567
So, I'm thinking, activity-wise,
how about a promise-ring booth?

1444
01:06:14,643 --> 01:06:16,202
So charming.
Love it.

1445
01:06:16,278 --> 01:06:19,112
Promise rings for prom.
Cute.

1446
01:06:19,181 --> 01:06:21,309
I've got a little bit of a
different plan, all right?

1447
01:06:21,383 --> 01:06:24,217
Listen up, ladies.
Tanner and Fawcett are poaching

1448
01:06:24,286 --> 01:06:26,255
All the cool kids for
their little pansy prom.

1449
01:06:26,321 --> 01:06:28,415
If we don't act quick, we
won't have enough people

1450
01:06:28,490 --> 01:06:30,083
For a halfway-decent hokey pokey.

1451
01:06:30,158 --> 01:06:35,461
What we need to do is
start "Prom-oting" prom.

1452
01:06:35,530 --> 01:06:37,055
You feel me?

1453
01:06:37,132 --> 01:06:40,796
Amazing.
Whoo! Yeah!

1454
01:06:42,504 --> 01:06:46,669
Hmm. Don't you think this might
be a bit over-the-top, Brent?

1455
01:06:46,741 --> 01:06:51,736
I'm just fighting
flamers with flame.

1456
01:06:51,813 --> 01:06:55,272
<i>♪ A la, a la la,
would you be kind? ♪</i>

1457
01:06:55,350 --> 01:06:58,548
<i>♪ Gimme one little more,
and I'll be superfine ♪</i>

1458
01:06:58,620 --> 01:07:00,384
<i>♪ A la la, a la la ♪</i>

1459
01:07:00,455 --> 01:07:02,447
Hey.
Oh, my god!

1460
01:07:02,524 --> 01:07:04,152
Relax, dude.

1461
01:07:04,226 --> 01:07:07,560
I just wanted to tell you how
much I admire your passion.

1462
01:07:07,629 --> 01:07:11,293
You're really... organized.

1463
01:07:11,366 --> 01:07:13,207
I mean, when I heard about
Tanner going to prom

1464
01:07:13,268 --> 01:07:16,432
With that other dude, I was
totally grossed out, too.

1465
01:07:16,505 --> 01:07:20,340
Right, bro? I mean, like,
two dudes, like...

1466
01:07:20,408 --> 01:07:23,401
Ugh! Ugh. Ick.
Blah. Yeah.

1467
01:07:23,478 --> 01:07:28,849
So, um, do you want to
feel how straight I am?

1468
01:07:30,519 --> 01:07:32,283
Come again.

1469
01:07:35,290 --> 01:07:37,555
Whoa. Is this actually
happening, or is this a dream?

1470
01:07:37,626 --> 01:07:39,595
Because I just changed
my sheets yesterday.

1471
01:07:39,661 --> 01:07:41,357
No, it's real, bro.
Oh, my god.

1472
01:07:41,429 --> 01:07:42,727
Wait. Wait.
Wait. Wait. Wait.

1473
01:07:42,797 --> 01:07:45,824
How did you know?
I mean, did Tanner tell you?

1474
01:07:45,901 --> 01:07:47,597
No, dude, I figured it out myself.

1475
01:07:47,669 --> 01:07:49,865
Tanner won't even look at me
since I tried to get with him.

1476
01:07:49,938 --> 01:07:52,305
Mmm. Mmm.
Wait. What am I doing?

1477
01:07:52,374 --> 01:07:53,672
No, no way, no.

1478
01:07:53,742 --> 01:07:56,234
I cannot have Tanner's
rejected sloppy seconds.

1479
01:07:56,311 --> 01:07:57,745
I have too much self-respect.

1480
01:07:57,812 --> 01:08:00,281
Now, if you'll excuse me,
I have some anti-gay

1481
01:08:00,348 --> 01:08:02,340
Prom posters to finish.

1482
01:08:02,417 --> 01:08:04,443
Mmm.

1483
01:08:06,555 --> 01:08:10,458
So close. God damn it!

1484
01:08:11,693 --> 01:08:14,162
I am so sorry.

1485
01:08:14,229 --> 01:08:16,357
<i>♪ You got me shrunk like a... ♪</i>

1486
01:08:16,431 --> 01:08:19,629
"Prom is short for
promenade, not prom-n-aids."

1487
01:08:19,701 --> 01:08:22,398
No one but Brent could
come up with a pun

1488
01:08:22,470 --> 01:08:24,905
That simultaneously
lame and offensive.

1489
01:08:24,973 --> 01:08:28,171
I told you...
He has officially lost it.

1490
01:08:28,243 --> 01:08:30,178
What the shit were you thinking?!

1491
01:08:30,245 --> 01:08:31,838
This language is unacceptable!

1492
01:08:31,913 --> 01:08:33,677
Principal Crowe, as
a devout Mormon,

1493
01:08:33,748 --> 01:08:37,276
I think the signs are all
totally true and appropriate.

1494
01:08:37,352 --> 01:08:40,880
Oh, in what universe would
"boutonnieres, not butt sex!"

1495
01:08:40,956 --> 01:08:43,516
Be appropriate for a prom slogan?

1496
01:08:43,592 --> 01:08:45,458
Yeah, and "no tossing salads"?

1497
01:08:45,527 --> 01:08:47,792
I got the cafeteria
ladies coming in here

1498
01:08:47,862 --> 01:08:49,797
Asking me if I changed the menu!

1499
01:08:49,864 --> 01:08:52,299
I've got news
organizations calling me,

1500
01:08:52,367 --> 01:08:54,359
Not to mention the ACLU.

1501
01:08:54,436 --> 01:08:55,699
Facebook!

1502
01:08:55,770 --> 01:08:56,931
People are tweeting about this!

1503
01:08:57,005 --> 01:08:59,372
We... We weren't thinking.

1504
01:08:59,441 --> 01:09:00,932
Well, I'm particularly disappointed

1505
01:09:01,009 --> 01:09:02,637
In you, Mr. Van Camp.

1506
01:09:02,711 --> 01:09:04,543
I expected more of you.

1507
01:09:04,613 --> 01:09:06,411
I was thinking about
suspending you all.

1508
01:09:07,816 --> 01:09:10,217
But instead I'm just
gonna cancel prom.

1509
01:09:10,285 --> 01:09:12,481
Oh, wait, no!
You can't do that!

1510
01:09:12,554 --> 01:09:14,819
Wait a minute. That'll turn
us into social pariahs.

1511
01:09:14,889 --> 01:09:17,324
Yeah, that's not fair. You're
not canceling their prom, too.

1512
01:09:17,392 --> 01:09:19,418
That prom is out of principal
Crowe's jurisdiction,

1513
01:09:19,494 --> 01:09:21,895
And its organizers haven't
been promoting a hate.

1514
01:09:21,963 --> 01:09:24,694
Now get out of here before I change
my mind about the suspensions.

1515
01:09:27,302 --> 01:09:28,736
That was terrific restraint.

1516
01:09:28,803 --> 01:09:30,829
Thank you.

1517
01:09:36,778 --> 01:09:40,010
Well, Tanner, looks like we've
now got the only game in town.

1518
01:09:40,282 --> 01:09:42,877
Though, Brent, I have
to give you some props.

1519
01:09:42,951 --> 01:09:45,819
Those signs were pretty Hilar.
Later, later.

1520
01:09:45,887 --> 01:09:47,651
Sorry.

1521
01:09:48,823 --> 01:09:50,416
Onward, Christian soldiers.

1522
01:09:50,492 --> 01:09:51,892
They want to cancel our prom?

1523
01:09:51,960 --> 01:09:53,553
Then we will organize a protest

1524
01:09:53,628 --> 01:09:55,927
Of their deviant
dance of debauchery.

1525
01:09:55,997 --> 01:09:57,522
She's right, "b."

1526
01:09:57,599 --> 01:10:00,034
The whole "me being prom
queen" ship has sailed.

1527
01:10:00,302 --> 01:10:03,466
But take it from an actress...
If we can't be in the spotlight,

1528
01:10:03,538 --> 01:10:06,007
We can sure make one
hell of a scene.

1529
01:10:06,074 --> 01:10:10,846
Family values!

1530
01:10:10,912 --> 01:10:13,643
Family values! Family...

1531
01:10:13,715 --> 01:10:14,978
'tophie, how could you?

1532
01:10:15,050 --> 01:10:17,713
Those signs that you made
were just so, so mean.

1533
01:10:17,786 --> 01:10:20,312
Babe, I was just trying to
protect our relationship.

1534
01:10:20,388 --> 01:10:22,755
Oh, well, congratulations.
You just did the opposite.

1535
01:10:22,824 --> 01:10:24,793
We are so done-zo.

1536
01:10:27,829 --> 01:10:30,298
Hmm.

1537
01:10:30,365 --> 01:10:31,731
How's it going, guys?

1538
01:10:31,800 --> 01:10:33,735
Oh, fantastic.

1539
01:10:33,802 --> 01:10:35,737
We've devised a genius
way to take "tan lines"

1540
01:10:35,804 --> 01:10:37,295
Down a few notches.

1541
01:10:37,372 --> 01:10:39,068
And knock "fawce-slut"
off her horse high.

1542
01:10:39,341 --> 01:10:40,866
Okay, so, while you
crazy Christians

1543
01:10:40,942 --> 01:10:42,843
Are outside protesting,
Caprice and I will

1544
01:10:42,911 --> 01:10:44,777
Infiltrate the prom
in killer ensembles.

1545
01:10:44,846 --> 01:10:46,075
James bond. Hello.

1546
01:10:46,348 --> 01:10:47,828
And the moment that
Tanner and Fawcett

1547
01:10:47,882 --> 01:10:51,649
Are crowned king and queen,
we douse them with this.

1548
01:10:51,720 --> 01:10:53,621
It'll be very Stephen
king's "Carrie"

1549
01:10:53,688 --> 01:10:55,384
Meets Mariah Carey's "glitter."

1550
01:10:55,457 --> 01:10:57,016
Tanner will hate it.

1551
01:10:57,092 --> 01:10:59,084
This one time, in, like, the
fourth grade, I accidentally,

1552
01:10:59,361 --> 01:11:00,852
Like spilled glitter on
him in arts and crafts.

1553
01:11:00,929 --> 01:11:02,693
He didn't talk to me
for like a month.

1554
01:11:02,764 --> 01:11:04,630
It's like the longest he and I
have ever gone without speaking,

1555
01:11:04,699 --> 01:11:06,930
You know, up until now.

1556
01:11:07,001 --> 01:11:08,492
And Fawcett will be picking it

1557
01:11:08,570 --> 01:11:10,869
Out of her prized
Goldilocks for months.

1558
01:11:10,939 --> 01:11:13,465
With any luck, she'll have to
shave it back like Britney.

1559
01:11:13,541 --> 01:11:15,601
Yeah!
I love it!

1560
01:11:15,677 --> 01:11:17,373
Great scheming, guys.

1561
01:11:17,445 --> 01:11:19,914
I'm just so glad we're
friends now, Caprice.

1562
01:11:19,981 --> 01:11:22,007
I've always wanted
an S.B.F.

1563
01:11:22,083 --> 01:11:23,551
An S.B.F.?

1564
01:11:23,618 --> 01:11:25,553
- Sassy black friend.
- Duh.

1565
01:11:28,656 --> 01:11:31,558
As Brent and Caprice plotted,

1566
01:11:31,626 --> 01:11:32,958
I realized I had my own

1567
01:11:33,027 --> 01:11:35,724
Unfinished business
to take care of.

1568
01:11:35,797 --> 01:11:36,958
Hey.

1569
01:11:37,031 --> 01:11:39,523
I-I mean, hey.

1570
01:11:39,601 --> 01:11:42,070
I've got something to say.

1571
01:11:42,137 --> 01:11:45,596
Tanner, honey, what is it?
You need a snack.

1572
01:11:45,673 --> 01:11:47,665
No, Shannon, I'm not hungry.

1573
01:11:47,742 --> 01:11:49,370
I, um...

1574
01:11:49,444 --> 01:11:51,106
I've got something
to tell you both,

1575
01:11:51,179 --> 01:11:53,375
And I don't care if
you like it or not.

1576
01:11:54,816 --> 01:11:56,148
Tanner?

1577
01:11:56,418 --> 01:11:58,080
Honey, what is it?

1578
01:12:00,088 --> 01:12:01,750
I, um...

1579
01:12:01,823 --> 01:12:03,951
so, I'm... I'm not
actually going to the prom

1580
01:12:04,025 --> 01:12:05,653
With Fawcett tomorrow.

1581
01:12:05,727 --> 01:12:09,823
I mean, she's driving me,
but I've got another date...

1582
01:12:09,898 --> 01:12:11,161
A boy.

1583
01:12:11,433 --> 01:12:13,163
I like boys.

1584
01:12:14,669 --> 01:12:17,070
Well, I mean, not boys,
like... Gross.

1585
01:12:17,138 --> 01:12:19,937
Men. Men.
Like men my own age.

1586
01:12:20,008 --> 01:12:23,638
And so did Abraham Lincoln.
I read that somewhere.

1587
01:12:23,711 --> 01:12:26,613
And he was, like,
the best republican ever,

1588
01:12:26,681 --> 01:12:29,082
So you should probably
say something

1589
01:12:29,150 --> 01:12:31,745
Before I keep saying more things.

1590
01:12:34,722 --> 01:12:36,418
Tanner...

1591
01:12:36,491 --> 01:12:37,982
we know.

1592
01:12:40,528 --> 01:12:42,019
Y-You what?

1593
01:12:42,096 --> 01:12:44,088
We know.

1594
01:12:44,165 --> 01:12:45,963
And it's okay.

1595
01:12:46,034 --> 01:12:49,630
Although your claims
about Abraham Lincoln

1596
01:12:49,704 --> 01:12:51,935
I don't think are
entirely substantiated.

1597
01:12:52,006 --> 01:12:53,440
Tanner, sweetie.

1598
01:12:53,508 --> 01:12:55,909
I mean, you haven't been
completely consistent

1599
01:12:55,977 --> 01:12:57,741
In clearing the internet history.

1600
01:12:57,812 --> 01:13:00,680
We've seen some stuff.

1601
01:13:00,748 --> 01:13:02,717
Word.
We have seen some stuff.

1602
01:13:02,784 --> 01:13:04,685
I mean, who knew that that even...
Oh, my god.

1603
01:13:04,752 --> 01:13:07,517
Anyway, so, you're 100%

1604
01:13:07,589 --> 01:13:10,115
Completely allergic
to the lady parts.

1605
01:13:10,191 --> 01:13:13,184
That's fine!
Who cares? It's okay.

1606
01:13:13,261 --> 01:13:15,856
I- I-I could be Bi.

1607
01:13:15,930 --> 01:13:17,865
Yeah, right!

1608
01:13:17,932 --> 01:13:19,833
Of course you can.

1609
01:13:19,901 --> 01:13:23,838
Okay, well, um...

1610
01:13:23,905 --> 01:13:26,170
so, good, I guess, then.

1611
01:13:26,241 --> 01:13:29,507
I'm... I'm gonna...
I'm gonna go.

1612
01:13:29,577 --> 01:13:31,011
Tanner, honey, do you need a snack?

1613
01:13:31,079 --> 01:13:33,048
You're skinny.

1614
01:13:33,114 --> 01:13:35,140
He could be bi.

1615
01:13:35,216 --> 01:13:36,684
Coastal.

1616
01:13:38,953 --> 01:13:40,888
Oh, prom! Let's do this!

1617
01:13:42,857 --> 01:13:44,519
Oh, that's cute.

1618
01:13:44,592 --> 01:13:48,029
Oh, that's so prom.
Yes.

1619
01:13:55,203 --> 01:13:58,640
<i>♪ Oh, ooh-ooh-oh ♪</i>

1620
01:13:58,706 --> 01:14:01,005
<i>♪ Ooh-ooh-oh, oh ♪</i>

1621
01:14:01,075 --> 01:14:02,668
Girl, you look great.

1622
01:14:02,744 --> 01:14:04,007
Hey, girl.

1623
01:14:04,078 --> 01:14:06,638
I was talking to my son.

1624
01:14:06,714 --> 01:14:08,774
Thank you.

1625
01:14:08,850 --> 01:14:10,751
<i>♪ Oh ♪</i>

1626
01:14:10,818 --> 01:14:11,877
Ready?

1627
01:14:11,953 --> 01:14:13,922
Yeah.
Let's do this.

1628
01:14:13,988 --> 01:14:16,048
<i>♪ Don't you think it's time ♪</i>

1629
01:14:16,124 --> 01:14:21,222
<i>♪ For you and me to
make some history? ♪</i>

1630
01:14:21,296 --> 01:14:22,924
<i>♪ Tell me now what you say ♪</i>

1631
01:14:22,997 --> 01:14:25,125
Cheese!

1632
01:14:25,199 --> 01:14:27,600
Ah!
Aww.

1633
01:14:27,669 --> 01:14:28,669
<i>♪ We can take anything ♪</i>

1634
01:14:28,736 --> 01:14:30,728
Caprice, I'm impressed.

1635
01:14:30,805 --> 01:14:34,901
I mean, you look very convincing.

1636
01:14:38,746 --> 01:14:42,239
<i>♪ When times are hard
we'll smile and say ♪</i>

1637
01:14:42,317 --> 01:14:45,253
<i>♪ We're not afraid of anything ♪</i>

1638
01:14:45,320 --> 01:14:48,552
<i>♪ 'Cause we feel young and wild ♪</i>

1639
01:14:48,623 --> 01:14:50,148
<i>♪ I believe ♪</i>

1640
01:14:50,224 --> 01:14:52,591
Darling, can I just...
Just want...

1641
01:14:52,660 --> 01:14:55,323
Listen, I just wanted to say
that I don't know what,

1642
01:14:55,597 --> 01:14:57,623
You know, all this
is and I don't...

1643
01:14:57,699 --> 01:15:00,328
Whatever... Whatever
you want to call yourself.

1644
01:15:00,602 --> 01:15:07,602
I mean, the bottom line is
your mom loves you very much,

1645
01:15:07,875 --> 01:15:10,640
Like crazy a lot, like to the point

1646
01:15:10,712 --> 01:15:13,147
Where it's really
kind of ridiculous.

1647
01:15:13,214 --> 01:15:15,706
It's almost embarrassing.
A lot.

1648
01:15:15,783 --> 01:15:19,220
So, please just know that, darling.

1649
01:15:19,287 --> 01:15:22,655
Thanks.
I love you, too.

1650
01:15:22,724 --> 01:15:24,283
Oh, gosh, honey.
Thank you so much.

1651
01:15:24,359 --> 01:15:27,193
Here, I don't want to... I don't
want to smudge your makeup.

1652
01:15:27,261 --> 01:15:29,321
Shall surely be put to death!

1653
01:15:30,832 --> 01:15:34,769
Prepare ye...
for the infidels.

1654
01:15:36,137 --> 01:15:37,867
Finally.
Where have you been?

1655
01:15:37,939 --> 01:15:40,773
And why are you wearing that?

1656
01:15:40,842 --> 01:15:44,142
You're bailing on me to go
after that latter-day skank.

1657
01:15:44,212 --> 01:15:45,703
'Shley dumped 'topher

1658
01:15:45,780 --> 01:15:48,045
And needs a G.B.F.
To escort her to prom.

1659
01:15:48,116 --> 01:15:50,381
She still seems to
think that I'm gay,

1660
01:15:50,652 --> 01:15:53,053
Despite our little
dry-humping session.

1661
01:15:53,121 --> 01:15:56,091
The indignities and humiliations
a guy will go through

1662
01:15:56,157 --> 01:15:58,058
Just for some Mormon ginge-muff.

1663
01:15:58,126 --> 01:16:01,790
You really are a
flaming heterosexual.

1664
01:16:01,863 --> 01:16:03,195
Guilty.

1665
01:16:03,264 --> 01:16:05,256
Seriously, Sophe, can
you do me a huge favor

1666
01:16:05,333 --> 01:16:06,858
And cover prom for the gazette?

1667
01:16:06,934 --> 01:16:09,028
No.
Come on! Please.

1668
01:16:09,103 --> 01:16:10,401
You, of all people, know

1669
01:16:10,672 --> 01:16:12,402
That this insanity needs
to be documented.

1670
01:16:12,674 --> 01:16:16,839
And, uh, well, I might
have my hands full.

1671
01:16:16,911 --> 01:16:18,311
I am not paying aqua-valve one cent

1672
01:16:18,379 --> 01:16:20,109
To get into her sham of a dance.

1673
01:16:20,181 --> 01:16:22,878
Comped press passes.

1674
01:16:22,950 --> 01:16:26,682
Fine, but I'm only going
if there are appetizers.

1675
01:16:26,754 --> 01:16:28,416
Yes!

1676
01:16:28,690 --> 01:16:30,784
Don't hug me.
Come on.

1677
01:16:35,763 --> 01:16:37,425
Aww!

1678
01:16:37,699 --> 01:16:38,894
You're doing it again.

1679
01:16:38,966 --> 01:16:40,400
What?

1680
01:16:40,468 --> 01:16:42,960
That noise girls make when they
see two gay guys together.

1681
01:16:43,037 --> 01:16:45,404
Yeah, it's the same
annoying sound people make

1682
01:16:45,473 --> 01:16:48,102
When they see cute animals
dressed in human clothes.

1683
01:16:48,176 --> 01:16:51,237
Ew, gross. Barf.
Is that better?

1684
01:16:51,312 --> 01:16:54,282
Much.

1685
01:16:54,348 --> 01:16:55,714
You're all gonna burn!

1686
01:16:55,783 --> 01:16:57,718
Think of your soul you're defiling!

1687
01:16:57,785 --> 01:16:59,151
Ever read the bible?!

1688
01:16:59,220 --> 01:17:01,246
"Do not lie with a man as
one lies with a woman!

1689
01:17:01,322 --> 01:17:03,154
It is an abomination!"

1690
01:17:03,224 --> 01:17:05,352
Abomination!

1691
01:17:05,426 --> 01:17:07,156
You're all going to hell!

1692
01:17:11,733 --> 01:17:13,429
That's right, bitches.

1693
01:17:13,501 --> 01:17:15,367
I'm upstaging you all
with double the 'mo.

1694
01:17:15,436 --> 01:17:18,201
And this one's imported.

1695
01:17:44,932 --> 01:17:46,958
Take my picture!
Please, please take my picture!

1696
01:18:20,301 --> 01:18:21,826
Caprice.

1697
01:18:21,903 --> 01:18:23,337
Brent.

1698
01:18:23,404 --> 01:18:25,373
Funny seeing you here.

1699
01:18:25,439 --> 01:18:27,237
Welcome.

1700
01:18:27,308 --> 01:18:29,072
We've seen the error of our ways.

1701
01:18:29,143 --> 01:18:30,839
We just can't wait to
see you both crowned.

1702
01:18:30,912 --> 01:18:33,973
You guys really deserve it.
Truly.

1703
01:18:34,048 --> 01:18:36,017
See, you guys?
It all worked out.

1704
01:18:36,083 --> 01:18:37,779
We all have our very own G.B.F.

1705
01:18:37,852 --> 01:18:40,447
Actually, we're not all G.B.F.'s.

1706
01:18:40,521 --> 01:18:42,922
Right... Brent's 100%,
grade-"A" hetero.

1707
01:18:42,990 --> 01:18:45,425
Sure he is.

1708
01:18:54,435 --> 01:18:56,131
<i>♪ I might be drastic, ♪</i>

1709
01:18:56,204 --> 01:18:58,469
<i>♪ But I'm more than
plastic, I show it off... ♪</i>

1710
01:18:58,539 --> 01:19:00,167
Well, hey, there, prom date.

1711
01:19:00,241 --> 01:19:01,470
Hey.

1712
01:19:01,542 --> 01:19:03,807
So, is this not the
lamest thing ever?

1713
01:19:03,878 --> 01:19:05,403
I didn't know we were gonna be

1714
01:19:05,479 --> 01:19:07,448
Your girlfriend's
matching corsages.

1715
01:19:07,515 --> 01:19:10,542
I know, right?
Sorry about that.

1716
01:19:10,618 --> 01:19:12,883
You want to get out of here?

1717
01:19:12,954 --> 01:19:16,447
I know a place where we could...
get to know each other.

1718
01:19:16,524 --> 01:19:19,858
Yeah, that sounds awesome.
I just feel like I should

1719
01:19:19,927 --> 01:19:22,021
Really stay here for Fawcett's
sake, you know, 'cause...

1720
01:19:22,096 --> 01:19:23,291
Tanner.
...she's like...

1721
01:19:23,364 --> 01:19:24,889
Tanner.
...really fragile...

1722
01:19:24,966 --> 01:19:26,992
Tanner.
...and... Hmm?

1723
01:19:27,068 --> 01:19:31,062
I get it.
You're not there yet.

1724
01:19:31,138 --> 01:19:34,870
So, if you don't mind,
I'm... I'm gonna bounce.

1725
01:19:36,177 --> 01:19:37,338
Okay.

1726
01:19:40,014 --> 01:19:41,846
Night.

1727
01:19:41,916 --> 01:19:43,544
Sure.

1728
01:19:53,527 --> 01:19:55,359
These ways, for this
is how the nations

1729
01:19:55,429 --> 01:19:57,421
I am driving out before
you became defiled.

1730
01:19:57,498 --> 01:19:58,051
Nice!

1731
01:19:58,077 --> 01:20:00,288
As the land was defiled,
I came to punish it,

1732
01:20:00,334 --> 01:20:02,132
And it has vomited
out its inhabitants.

1733
01:20:02,203 --> 01:20:04,263
You shall keep my promises...
See ya.

1734
01:20:09,410 --> 01:20:11,072
What are you doing?

1735
01:20:11,145 --> 01:20:14,411
I feel a monster
stress zit coming on.

1736
01:20:14,482 --> 01:20:16,041
You know when you
can feel it coming

1737
01:20:16,117 --> 01:20:17,608
And there's nothing you
can do to stop it?

1738
01:20:17,685 --> 01:20:19,017
Let me look.

1739
01:20:20,221 --> 01:20:22,315
Okay, well, I do see it.

1740
01:20:22,390 --> 01:20:25,189
The good news is it won't
surface for a few hours.

1741
01:20:25,259 --> 01:20:26,591
Thanks.

1742
01:20:26,661 --> 01:20:29,153
But if things run late
with posh spice,

1743
01:20:29,230 --> 01:20:31,893
He might have to learn
to love you, zits and all.

1744
01:20:31,966 --> 01:20:35,903
Not gonna happen.
He bailed.

1745
01:20:35,970 --> 01:20:38,496
I guess I spent all this
time being a G.B.F.

1746
01:20:38,572 --> 01:20:42,270
And never actually learned
how to be a real, live gay.

1747
01:20:42,343 --> 01:20:47,145
Well, it sounds to me like
he doesn't deserve you.

1748
01:20:48,983 --> 01:20:53,444
I just miss you guys so much.

1749
01:20:53,521 --> 01:20:55,581
I can't believe I ditched you.

1750
01:20:55,656 --> 01:20:58,057
I don't know what happened to me.

1751
01:20:58,125 --> 01:21:01,493
I just...
Just got s-scared.

1752
01:21:01,562 --> 01:21:03,394
Not to mention blinded by the flash

1753
01:21:03,464 --> 01:21:05,456
Of bleached teeth and hair?

1754
01:21:05,533 --> 01:21:08,435
Tanner?

1755
01:21:08,502 --> 01:21:11,438
Our crowning moment
is only minutes away.

1756
01:21:16,544 --> 01:21:18,708
Great tunes, great tunes.

1757
01:21:18,980 --> 01:21:21,279
Okay, hello there,
ladies and gentlemen,

1758
01:21:21,349 --> 01:21:23,443
And, uh, everything in between.

1759
01:21:23,517 --> 01:21:26,009
This is it, babes.
This is our moment.

1760
01:21:26,087 --> 01:21:28,386
T-Fawce is gonna dominate.

1761
01:21:31,392 --> 01:21:36,421
This is it, our moment.
T-Fawce is gonna eat it.

1762
01:21:36,497 --> 01:21:38,557
We make a good team, "b."

1763
01:21:38,632 --> 01:21:41,534
It is my pleasure to
announce this year's,

1764
01:21:41,602 --> 01:21:44,572
Uh, prom king and queen
of north gateway's first

1765
01:21:44,638 --> 01:21:48,632
"L-G-B-T-Q-A

1766
01:21:48,709 --> 01:21:51,679
And every other letter you can
think of"- Inclusive prom.

1767
01:21:51,746 --> 01:21:55,342
So, without further ado...

1768
01:21:59,320 --> 01:22:02,256
our trailblazing couple is...

1769
01:22:03,491 --> 01:22:04,720
T-Fawce!

1770
01:22:07,061 --> 01:22:08,757
Tanner and Fawcett!

1771
01:22:09,030 --> 01:22:11,397
Wow.

1772
01:22:16,604 --> 01:22:19,574
Congratulations.
Well deserved.

1773
01:22:19,640 --> 01:22:22,007
Let me know when you think
they're in position.

1774
01:22:22,076 --> 01:22:23,203
Congratulations.

1775
01:22:23,277 --> 01:22:24,370
We love you, Tanner.

1776
01:22:24,445 --> 01:22:25,606
Thank you.

1777
01:22:25,679 --> 01:22:28,012
Oh, my goodness.
This is such a surprise.

1778
01:22:28,082 --> 01:22:29,710
Fawcett, I want to say something.

1779
01:22:29,784 --> 01:22:31,685
Okay.

1780
01:22:31,752 --> 01:22:33,721
You're fierce!

1781
01:22:33,788 --> 01:22:36,519
This is for you.

1782
01:22:36,590 --> 01:22:38,582
Wait. Give him a second.

1783
01:22:38,659 --> 01:22:41,219
We love you, T-Fawce!

1784
01:22:41,295 --> 01:22:42,729
Look, uh, thanks, everyone,

1785
01:22:42,797 --> 01:22:47,326
For making me king
of this gay prom.

1786
01:22:47,401 --> 01:22:50,394
Oh, my god, he's doing it.
He's going full Lohan.

1787
01:22:50,471 --> 01:22:55,068
I don't want to be
king of the gay prom

1788
01:22:55,142 --> 01:23:01,548
Or be a gay best friend
or get gay-married.

1789
01:23:01,615 --> 01:23:04,278
I just want to go to prom,

1790
01:23:04,351 --> 01:23:09,346
Be a friend, and get
married, maybe.

1791
01:23:09,423 --> 01:23:14,225
You all see me more as
an object or a symbol.

1792
01:23:14,295 --> 01:23:17,356
I guess I've been
guilty of that myself.

1793
01:23:17,431 --> 01:23:21,664
I used my friends as
shields to hide behind.

1794
01:23:24,205 --> 01:23:27,334
I had friends who cared about me,

1795
01:23:27,408 --> 01:23:31,140
Whether I was gay or whatever.

1796
01:23:33,848 --> 01:23:39,412
And I had a best friend who
I shared everything with.

1797
01:23:39,487 --> 01:23:43,754
And all I want is...
I mean, I'd give anything

1798
01:23:43,824 --> 01:23:47,591
To just be his loyal
sidekick again.

1799
01:23:52,266 --> 01:23:53,791
Thank you very much.

1800
01:23:58,139 --> 01:24:01,166
Well, that's just sweeter
than a pug in a sundress.

1801
01:24:01,242 --> 01:24:02,335
Oh, no!

1802
01:24:08,449 --> 01:24:10,350
Oh, my god.

1803
01:24:20,928 --> 01:24:23,295
Mnh.

1804
01:24:23,364 --> 01:24:26,459
Brent! Jesus.
Are you okay?

1805
01:24:26,534 --> 01:24:27,866
Thought you could upstage me

1806
01:24:27,935 --> 01:24:29,836
With a classic
"what I learned" speech?

1807
01:24:29,904 --> 01:24:33,170
Amateur.

1808
01:24:33,240 --> 01:24:35,141
So, Brent burst out of the closet

1809
01:24:35,209 --> 01:24:38,338
In an explosion of glitter,
just like he always wanted,

1810
01:24:38,412 --> 01:24:39,903
And I got my best friend back.

1811
01:24:40,181 --> 01:24:41,740
Caprice, mission accomplished?

1812
01:24:41,815 --> 01:24:43,613
Uh, not yet.

1813
01:24:43,684 --> 01:24:46,381
Okay, y'all made your point.

1814
01:24:46,453 --> 01:24:49,617
I made mine.
Now we all have a choice.

1815
01:24:49,690 --> 01:24:51,522
You can stay out here,
bored out of your minds

1816
01:24:51,592 --> 01:24:53,552
And freezing your asses off
with this crazy bitch.

1817
01:24:53,594 --> 01:24:56,428
Or you can come inside
and dance your asses off

1818
01:24:56,497 --> 01:24:58,432
With this crazy bitch.

1819
01:24:58,499 --> 01:25:00,019
I mean, do you really
want to go heaven

1820
01:25:00,201 --> 01:25:02,121
If it's filled with nothing
but psychos like her?

1821
01:25:05,439 --> 01:25:06,566
That's what I thought.

1822
01:25:06,640 --> 01:25:08,370
Let's go.

1823
01:25:08,442 --> 01:25:11,207
Suit yourselves!
Run toward damnation!

1824
01:25:11,278 --> 01:25:13,338
I'll see you all in hell!

1825
01:25:13,414 --> 01:25:16,213
I mean, I won't see you
'cause I won't be there,

1826
01:25:16,283 --> 01:25:18,752
But there's probably, like,
a window or something

1827
01:25:18,819 --> 01:25:21,721
Where people in heaven can
look down to people in hell!

1828
01:25:21,789 --> 01:25:26,750
And I'll see you through
that hell window... thing!

1829
01:25:26,827 --> 01:25:29,387
That sucks, man.

1830
01:25:29,463 --> 01:25:32,627
<i>♪ It's not just all physical ♪</i>

1831
01:25:32,700 --> 01:25:34,328
How about an H.J.?

1832
01:25:34,401 --> 01:25:36,336
<i>♪ Drop that beat, bitch ♪</i>

1833
01:25:36,403 --> 01:25:41,239
<i>♪ It's hook, man, hey, hey, hey ♪</i>

1834
01:25:41,308 --> 01:25:43,800
<i>♪ My name is Heven ♪</i>

1835
01:25:43,877 --> 01:25:45,607
<i>♪ My gay best friend,
my gay best friend ♪</i>

1836
01:25:45,679 --> 01:25:47,841
<i>♪ He's on the go, he's on the go ♪</i>

1837
01:25:47,915 --> 01:25:49,907
<i>♪ We hit the club,
we hit the club ♪</i>

1838
01:25:49,984 --> 01:25:51,816
<i>♪ We drop it low, we drop it low ♪</i>

1839
01:25:51,885 --> 01:25:54,218
<i>♪ He always gets, he always gets ♪</i>

1840
01:25:54,288 --> 01:25:55,881
So, I went down in history

1841
01:25:55,956 --> 01:25:58,448
As the first kid in our
school to come out,

1842
01:25:58,525 --> 01:26:01,620
But I definitely wasn't the last
because, as it turns out,

1843
01:26:01,695 --> 01:26:04,927
The closet and high school
are kind of the same thing.

1844
01:26:04,999 --> 01:26:07,366
They're both something
you can't wait to escape

1845
01:26:07,434 --> 01:26:09,767
But are scared to death
of what lies beyond.

1846
01:26:09,837 --> 01:26:11,999
They both make you kind of insane,

1847
01:26:12,273 --> 01:26:14,606
Cause you to take on
a secret identity,

1848
01:26:14,675 --> 01:26:17,474
Or make you confused...

1849
01:26:17,544 --> 01:26:21,447
or mean...

1850
01:26:21,515 --> 01:26:22,983
or crazy horny, even.

1851
01:26:23,050 --> 01:26:24,985
Sweet Joseph smith, you are sexy.

1852
01:26:25,052 --> 01:26:27,817
You too.

1853
01:26:27,888 --> 01:26:29,720
You're out, right?

1854
01:26:29,790 --> 01:26:31,759
For a face like yours,
I'll out myself

1855
01:26:31,825 --> 01:26:34,920
To the entire Mormon
tabernacle choi...

1856
01:26:34,995 --> 01:26:37,362
When you're in, every little thing

1857
01:26:37,431 --> 01:26:38,956
Just seems like the hugest deal,

1858
01:26:39,033 --> 01:26:40,501
But once you're out, well,

1859
01:26:40,567 --> 01:26:42,729
You wonder why you
ever made such a fuss.

1860
01:26:42,803 --> 01:26:45,967
And while things still suck
every once in a while,

1861
01:26:46,040 --> 01:26:49,602
When you finally leave both
the closet and high school,

1862
01:26:49,677 --> 01:26:51,873
Everything just kind of...

1863
01:26:51,945 --> 01:26:53,880
sucks less.

1864
01:26:53,947 --> 01:26:55,779
So, now that you're out...

1865
01:26:55,849 --> 01:26:57,374
I am?

1866
01:26:57,451 --> 01:27:00,387
What about us?

1867
01:27:00,454 --> 01:27:01,854
Us?

1868
01:27:01,922 --> 01:27:03,618
Mm-hmm.

1869
01:27:03,691 --> 01:27:06,024
Well, I just...
I was... Huh?

1870
01:27:06,093 --> 01:27:09,063
What? No, you go first.

1871
01:27:09,330 --> 01:27:10,764
I was thinking...

1872
01:27:10,831 --> 01:27:12,026
mm-hmm.

1873
01:27:12,099 --> 01:27:14,295
You know, if we ended
up together...

1874
01:27:14,368 --> 01:27:15,563
Which we totally would

1875
01:27:15,636 --> 01:27:18,071
If this were a classic
high-school movie.

1876
01:27:18,339 --> 01:27:19,602
Right, and, you know,

1877
01:27:19,673 --> 01:27:21,505
But we don't get to kiss
as the credits roll.

1878
01:27:21,575 --> 01:27:23,544
Well, we got to,
you know, keep going.

1879
01:27:23,610 --> 01:27:26,774
Maybe we'd last a few months...

1880
01:27:26,847 --> 01:27:28,076
Right.
...A year.

1881
01:27:28,349 --> 01:27:30,375
And then what?
Then we go to college

1882
01:27:30,451 --> 01:27:32,647
And then I cheat on
you and it's awkward

1883
01:27:32,720 --> 01:27:34,586
And I lose you forever.

1884
01:27:34,655 --> 01:27:37,420
So, what you're saying is,

1885
01:27:37,491 --> 01:27:41,952
Instead of satisfying our
teenage horniness...

1886
01:27:42,029 --> 01:27:47,798
instead of risking
having you as my B.F.,

1887
01:27:47,868 --> 01:27:51,737
I'd rather keep you
forever as my B.F.F.

1888
01:27:53,540 --> 01:27:55,736
Go "f" yourself.

1889
01:27:57,845 --> 01:28:00,974
<i>♪ But now I've come back again ♪</i>

1890
01:28:01,048 --> 01:28:04,917
So, after Brent had made
his gayness official,

1891
01:28:04,985 --> 01:28:06,544
'Shley and Glenn won cutest couple

1892
01:28:06,620 --> 01:28:09,351
When he came out as
irrefutably straight

1893
01:28:09,423 --> 01:28:11,688
And she came out as
a total rice queen.

1894
01:28:11,759 --> 01:28:14,490
But it took us a bit longer to
convince Fawcett to come out

1895
01:28:14,561 --> 01:28:18,020
As a chemistry nerd with
a secret nice streak.

1896
01:28:18,098 --> 01:28:19,589
Oh, my god!

1897
01:28:19,666 --> 01:28:21,897
Sophie won a scholarship
to Sarah Lawrence

1898
01:28:21,969 --> 01:28:23,961
After she published a
well-regarded analysis

1899
01:28:24,037 --> 01:28:25,437
Of the adolescent propensity

1900
01:28:25,506 --> 01:28:27,600
For self-perpetuated
objectification.

1901
01:28:27,674 --> 01:28:31,441
And Brent and Caprice
were voted most dramatic,

1902
01:28:31,512 --> 01:28:33,606
Which... Let's face it...
Is basically short-hand

1903
01:28:33,680 --> 01:28:36,411
For "gayest"and "bitchiest."

1904
01:28:36,483 --> 01:28:40,443
As for me, I didn't win
any senior superlatives.

1905
01:28:40,521 --> 01:28:42,422
With all the new outings going on,

1906
01:28:42,489 --> 01:28:44,458
My sex life...
Or lack thereof...

1907
01:28:44,525 --> 01:28:47,552
Was once again the least
interesting thing about me.

1908
01:28:47,628 --> 01:28:51,121
I wasn't an accessory
or a sidekick.

1909
01:28:51,198 --> 01:28:52,894
I was just me.

1910
01:28:52,966 --> 01:28:54,935
And I couldn't have
been gayer about it.

1911
01:28:55,002 --> 01:28:57,164
And I mean that in the
old-timey, happy way,

1912
01:28:57,438 --> 01:28:58,963
Not the gay way, but...

1913
01:28:59,039 --> 01:29:01,668
Yeah, that, too.

1914
01:29:05,946 --> 01:29:12,613
<i>♪ I will be waiting for you ♪</i>

1915
01:29:12,686 --> 01:29:14,655
Pop dance crap!

1916
01:29:14,721 --> 01:29:17,020
Oh, shut up.
You know you love that crap.

1917
01:29:17,090 --> 01:29:18,786
Ooh!

1918
01:29:18,859 --> 01:29:20,139
You have a ladybug in your hair.

1919
01:29:20,194 --> 01:29:22,663
Ahh!

1920
01:29:22,729 --> 01:29:24,425
Uh-oh. Looks like
they're waking back up.

1921
01:29:26,800 --> 01:29:27,961
You want to hang out?

1922
01:29:28,035 --> 01:29:29,435
Yeah.
Should I just...?

1923
01:29:29,503 --> 01:29:31,802
Yeah, just have a seat.

1924
01:29:31,872 --> 01:29:35,639
Mm. Sits well.

1925
01:29:35,709 --> 01:29:39,578
She di... You... You... Ah!
Okay, do it again.

1926
01:29:39,646 --> 01:29:44,016
You're not wearing
underwear, are you?

1927
01:29:44,084 --> 01:29:45,885
I think they do care about
each other, though.

1928
01:29:45,953 --> 01:29:48,184
I mean, that's the nice thing.

1929
01:29:48,255 --> 01:29:49,814
Oh!

1930
01:29:49,890 --> 01:29:51,825
Yeah!

1931
01:29:51,892 --> 01:29:54,191
You could be like my sister wife.

1932
01:29:54,261 --> 01:29:56,127
I like just "gay."
He's gay.

1933
01:29:56,196 --> 01:29:59,496
Yo, bro.
Oh.

1934
01:29:59,566 --> 01:30:01,933
Necessity is the mother
of invention, right?

1935
01:30:02,002 --> 01:30:03,800
Little...

1936
01:30:03,871 --> 01:30:05,134
spitting.

1937
01:30:05,205 --> 01:30:08,004
<i>♪ He's a guy, but he
only likes boys ♪</i>

1938
01:30:08,075 --> 01:30:10,544
Now give me booty bump, booty bump.

1939
01:30:10,611 --> 01:30:14,173
Oh. Oh, boy, that's firm.
Not surprised.

1940
01:30:16,149 --> 01:30:17,777
I can't wait to go home.

1941
01:30:17,851 --> 01:30:20,946
I miss you.

1942
01:30:21,021 --> 01:30:23,547
Yeah.

1943
01:30:23,624 --> 01:30:26,059
Thank you.

1944
01:30:28,061 --> 01:30:30,621
Drama.

1945
01:30:30,697 --> 01:30:32,757
You checking out my bal...

1946
01:30:32,833 --> 01:30:34,961
I like the colors.

1947
01:30:35,035 --> 01:30:37,664
I really think hipster
Goth is coming back.

1948
01:30:37,738 --> 01:30:41,072
No, it's not.
Let's go.

1949
01:30:41,141 --> 01:30:45,169
I just bought these!

1950
01:30:45,245 --> 01:30:47,180
What flavors did you make?

1951
01:30:47,247 --> 01:30:48,909
Cherry, of course.

1952
01:30:48,982 --> 01:30:50,610
Mmm.
Black or bing?

1953
01:30:52,252 --> 01:30:53,618
You know I like the black ones.

1954
01:30:54,855 --> 01:30:56,118
He could be bi.

1955
01:30:56,189 --> 01:30:58,920
Lingual.

1956
01:30:58,992 --> 01:31:01,154
Yeah, but then we'd have
a Spanish-speaking son.

1957
01:31:01,228 --> 01:31:02,696
Who the hell wants that?

1958
01:31:02,763 --> 01:31:04,527
Bi is confusing.
I don't get it.

1959
01:31:04,598 --> 01:31:07,534
I'm glad he's gay.
Yo no comprendo bi.

1960
01:31:07,601 --> 01:31:08,864
Yeah.

1961
01:31:08,936 --> 01:31:09,960
How about a pop-tart?

1962
01:31:10,037 --> 01:31:11,130
Do you want a pop-tart?

1963
01:31:11,204 --> 01:31:12,763
Yes, I would like a pop-tart.

1964
01:31:12,839 --> 01:31:14,808
I'm gonna get you a pop-tart.
Thank you, love.

1965
01:31:16,810 --> 01:31:18,574
<i>♪ Traditional prom ♪</i>

1966
01:31:21,848 --> 01:31:23,214
It's always my day.

1967
01:31:23,283 --> 01:31:25,047
Wait! Whoa! I wouldn't
lift up that high. Okay.

1968
01:31:25,118 --> 01:31:26,552
Oh, my Britney.

1969
01:31:26,620 --> 01:31:28,816
Is that what they
call it these days?

1970
01:31:28,889 --> 01:31:31,154
My sunglasses are
supposed to be on.

1971
01:31:31,224 --> 01:31:35,218
Tweets! People are
tweet... Tweeting.

1972
01:31:37,130 --> 01:31:39,156
Or how about an arch "J"?

1973
01:31:39,232 --> 01:31:41,133
Not "arch."
An arch "J"?

1974
01:31:42,669 --> 01:31:44,695
I don't know...
What's an arch "J"?

1975
01:31:44,771 --> 01:31:47,263
"...Can think of"-inclusive
prom, so... Sorry!

1976
01:31:47,341 --> 01:31:50,072
With that...

1977
01:31:50,143 --> 01:31:54,581
he can't deal with it.
Heath is freaking.

1978
01:31:54,648 --> 01:31:56,879
That's sad.

1979
01:31:56,950 --> 01:31:58,111
<i>♪ My gay best friend ♪</i>

1980
01:31:58,185 --> 01:32:00,017
Are you coming back?

1981
01:32:01,955 --> 01:32:03,856
<i>♪ H ♪</i>

1982
01:32:03,924 --> 01:32:05,722
<i>♪ E ♪</i>

1983
01:32:05,792 --> 01:32:07,988
<i>♪ R ♪</i>

1984
01:32:08,061 --> 01:32:10,621
<i>♪ Oh, I'm such a lady ♪</i>

1985
01:32:10,697 --> 01:32:12,996
<i>♪ But now I wanna get freaky ♪</i>

1986
01:32:13,066 --> 01:32:16,036
<i>♪ I'm feeling naughty,
am I crazy? ♪</i>

1987
01:32:16,103 --> 01:32:18,732
<i>♪ Oh, I just want to be bad ♪</i>

1988
01:32:18,805 --> 01:32:20,637
<i>♪ Pass me my glass ♪</i>

1989
01:32:20,707 --> 01:32:22,869
<i>♪ The fangs are out tonight ♪</i>

1990
01:32:22,876 --> 01:32:23,876
<i>♪ Who am I gonna bite? ♪</i>

1991
01:32:23,877 --> 01:32:25,778
<i>♪ "H"...My hips ♪</i>

1992
01:32:25,846 --> 01:32:27,838
<i>♪ "E"...Emotion ♪</i>

1993
01:32:27,914 --> 01:32:29,849
<i>♪ "R"...The rhythm ♪</i>

1994
01:32:29,916 --> 01:32:31,817
<i>♪ All the parts of her ♪</i>

1995
01:32:31,885 --> 01:32:33,786
<i>♪ "H"...My hips ♪</i>

1996
01:32:33,854 --> 01:32:35,880
<i>♪ "E"...Emotion ♪</i>

1997
01:32:35,956 --> 01:32:37,822
<i>♪ "R"...The rhythm ♪</i>

1998
01:32:37,891 --> 01:32:39,883
<i>♪ All the parts of her ♪</i>

1998
01:32:40,305 --> 01:32:46,881
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