1
00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:12,074
Advertise your product or brand here
contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today
2
00:02:05,010 --> 00:02:08,678
Yo, not gonna lie.
3
00:02:08,680 --> 00:02:11,180
This sound...
4
00:02:11,182 --> 00:02:14,082
...gets me hard
as a fucking rock.
5
00:02:15,951 --> 00:02:19,853
But I don't like to go too fast
right off the bat.
6
00:02:19,855 --> 00:02:25,024
I'd rather work my way into it,
nice and easy.
7
00:02:25,026 --> 00:02:27,692
So I'll start off
with some stills.
8
00:02:30,029 --> 00:02:33,163
Then, once I'm getting into it,
9
00:02:33,165 --> 00:02:35,165
I start looking for a video.
10
00:02:37,301 --> 00:02:42,237
I never actually touch my cock
till I find the right clip.
11
00:02:42,239 --> 00:02:44,171
Then, once I do...
12
00:02:44,173 --> 00:02:46,774
...goodbye.
13
00:02:46,776 --> 00:02:50,576
For the next few minutes,
all the bullshit fades away,
14
00:02:50,578 --> 00:02:54,880
and the only thing in the world
is those tits...
15
00:02:54,882 --> 00:02:57,148
...that ass...
16
00:02:57,150 --> 00:02:59,284
...the blowjob, the cowboy,
17
00:02:59,286 --> 00:03:01,817
the doggy, the moneyshot,
and that's it.
18
00:03:01,819 --> 00:03:03,252
I don't gotta say anything,
19
00:03:03,254 --> 00:03:05,187
I don't gotta do anything.
20
00:03:05,189 --> 00:03:09,157
I just fucking lose myself.
21
00:03:11,660 --> 00:03:15,628
There's only a few things
I really care about in life.
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00:03:17,064 --> 00:03:18,798
My body...
23
00:03:19,232 --> 00:03:20,799
...my pad...
24
00:03:21,267 --> 00:03:22,968
...my ride...
25
00:03:25,002 --> 00:03:26,836
...my family...
26
00:03:26,838 --> 00:03:28,004
Amen.
27
00:03:28,006 --> 00:03:29,973
...my church...
28
00:03:29,975 --> 00:03:32,174
...my boys...
29
00:03:34,010 --> 00:03:36,611
...my girls...
30
00:03:40,783 --> 00:03:43,149
...and my porn.
31
00:03:43,151 --> 00:03:46,352
I know that last one sounds
weird, but I'm just being honest.
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00:03:46,354 --> 00:03:49,920
Nothing else does it for me the
same way. Not even real pussy.
33
00:03:49,922 --> 00:03:52,122
And, yo, I get plenty of that.
34
00:03:52,124 --> 00:03:54,358
Why you think my boys
call me The Don?
35
00:03:54,360 --> 00:03:56,826
- Jonny-Boy!
- Don Jon, what's good, baby?
36
00:03:56,828 --> 00:03:58,695
- What up? I'm all right.
- You good?
37
00:03:58,697 --> 00:04:00,861
Jonny, look at me.
Everything good with you?
38
00:04:00,863 --> 00:04:02,763
- What's the matter with this guy?
- Come here, you animal!
39
00:04:02,765 --> 00:04:07,033
- Get the fuck off of me!
- Real talk, real talk. Purple.
40
00:04:07,035 --> 00:04:09,636
- That's not bad.
- It's better than "not bad. "
41
00:04:09,638 --> 00:04:11,771
- You ain't see her turn around.
- You calling her a seven?
42
00:04:11,773 --> 00:04:13,671
- An eight. At least an eight.
- That is not an eight.
43
00:04:13,673 --> 00:04:15,640
She's cute in the face,
you can maybe call the face
44
00:04:15,642 --> 00:04:17,909
- an eight, tits are a four.
- Yeah, but the butt, man,
45
00:04:17,911 --> 00:04:20,611
it's exceptional. I'm telling
you. It changes everything.
46
00:04:20,613 --> 00:04:22,212
- Shit!
- What?
47
00:04:22,214 --> 00:04:24,813
- Sequins. Don't look. Don't look.
- What? Who is that?
48
00:04:24,815 --> 00:04:27,048
- You don't remember her?
- She's coming over here.
49
00:04:27,050 --> 00:04:29,384
'Cause you're staring
right at her.
50
00:04:29,386 --> 00:04:32,286
Look who the fuck it is.
51
00:04:32,288 --> 00:04:34,021
- How you doing?
- Why didn't you call me back?
52
00:04:34,023 --> 00:04:36,355
Come on. You're a grown woman.
53
00:04:36,357 --> 00:04:38,724
Did you think
I was gonna call you back?
54
00:04:38,726 --> 00:04:42,760
You're pathetic, you know that?
Every week you got a new bitch.
55
00:04:43,862 --> 00:04:46,998
Then why'd you
come home with me?
56
00:04:47,000 --> 00:04:48,731
Fuck you!
57
00:04:48,733 --> 00:04:51,000
- Eight.
- No, that might be a nine.
58
00:04:51,002 --> 00:04:53,235
- You shitting me? That's a seven.
- You're out of your mind!
59
00:04:53,237 --> 00:04:55,870
I gave you the eight,
your record's intact. Chill out.
60
00:04:55,872 --> 00:04:57,705
You heard what she said?
Everyone knows about the streak.
61
00:04:57,707 --> 00:04:59,706
- You're sick. You know that?
- I don't know
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00:04:59,708 --> 00:05:00,973
- what's wrong with me.
- Oh, my... damn!
63
00:05:00,975 --> 00:05:03,209
- What? What? Where?
- Red.
64
00:05:03,211 --> 00:05:06,211
- Holy shit! That's a dime.
- That is a dime.
65
00:05:06,213 --> 00:05:08,113
Nah, she's hot,
but it's not a dime.
66
00:05:08,115 --> 00:05:09,314
I don't even mess
with blondes like that,
67
00:05:09,316 --> 00:05:10,949
but that there is a dime!
68
00:05:10,951 --> 00:05:12,849
- Fuck yeah.
- I don't know, there might be
69
00:05:12,851 --> 00:05:14,817
- some lasagna up in there.
- I don't think so.
70
00:05:14,819 --> 00:05:17,086
Definitely not. She keep her
shit tight, you can tell.
71
00:05:17,088 --> 00:05:19,421
- No. I don't know.
- See, he likes that skinny shit.
72
00:05:19,423 --> 00:05:22,824
He likes that skinny, high-fashion,
looks-like-a-boy shit.
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00:05:22,826 --> 00:05:24,225
- Fuck you!
- Admit it!
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00:05:24,227 --> 00:05:25,859
He's kind of right,
man, you do.
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00:05:25,861 --> 00:05:28,094
I don't like more
than a handful of titty.
76
00:05:28,096 --> 00:05:32,364
No, no, no, no, no. No. A nice handful, I
love it, but more than that, it's like no!
77
00:05:32,366 --> 00:05:34,400
Shit starts to remind me
of my mom or something.
78
00:05:34,402 --> 00:05:37,300
- Jesus Christ. - Your mom do
got some big-ass titties.
79
00:05:37,302 --> 00:05:39,336
- Don't talk about my mother.
- You brought up your mother.
80
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If you don't like that, there's
something wrong with you.
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I didn't say I didn't like it.
I said it's not a dime.
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00:05:44,308 --> 00:05:46,976
- That's incorrect.
- She's taller than you anyway.
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00:05:46,978 --> 00:05:49,076
- Fuck you, Jonny.
- I'm playing, come on.
84
00:05:49,078 --> 00:05:52,413
You gonna get that?
85
00:05:52,415 --> 00:05:55,448
Let me get a
vodka-cranberry.
86
00:05:57,184 --> 00:05:59,217
- Jonny!
- Sammy-boy, how you doing?
87
00:05:59,219 --> 00:06:02,186
- You good?
- Let me get a Grey Goose and soda.
88
00:06:17,165 --> 00:06:19,766
- What makes you think you
could do that? - Do what?
89
00:06:19,768 --> 00:06:22,002
- Get the fuck out of here.
- You wanna go somewhere?
90
00:06:22,004 --> 00:06:23,869
- Fuck you.
- You wanna fuck me?
91
00:06:23,871 --> 00:06:25,804
- Is that why you kissed me?
- I didn't kiss you.
92
00:06:25,806 --> 00:06:28,440
Yeah, you did.
93
00:06:28,442 --> 00:06:30,307
Stop it, I mean it. Stop it.
94
00:06:30,309 --> 00:06:33,043
Come on. Let me buy you a drink.
It's early.
95
00:06:33,045 --> 00:06:36,112
- Where you going?
- I told you where I was going.
96
00:06:36,114 --> 00:06:38,413
Come on! Wait a minute!
97
00:06:38,415 --> 00:06:39,815
Shit!
98
00:06:43,753 --> 00:06:46,087
Yo. Headband.
99
00:06:49,222 --> 00:06:51,123
Nah, I don't know.
100
00:07:41,929 --> 00:07:44,063
See?
This is what I'm saying.
101
00:07:44,065 --> 00:07:46,965
Real pussy's all good.
But I'm sorry.
102
00:07:46,967 --> 00:07:49,800
It's not as good as porn.
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00:07:49,802 --> 00:07:51,335
Tits?
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Great.
105
00:07:55,173 --> 00:07:56,906
Ass?
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00:07:57,874 --> 00:07:59,141
Great.
107
00:07:59,143 --> 00:08:01,176
Blowjob?
108
00:08:01,178 --> 00:08:05,845
Sure, it's fucking fantastic
in person... if she'll do it.
109
00:08:05,847 --> 00:08:08,882
But in real life, if you wanna
get head, you gotta give head.
110
00:08:08,884 --> 00:08:11,316
Lower. Not that low!
111
00:08:11,318 --> 00:08:15,118
I know, some guys love eating pussy,
but the thing about those guys is,
112
00:08:15,120 --> 00:08:18,088
they're fucking crazy.
Don't get me wrong,
113
00:08:18,090 --> 00:08:20,524
I like a good
pussy-eating clip.
114
00:08:20,526 --> 00:08:24,827
But, from down here, there's
nothing good about this.
115
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And if she does finally
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00:08:28,531 --> 00:08:32,032
decide to do you
the big favor...
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00:08:33,834 --> 00:08:36,068
...she's in a fucking hurry.
118
00:08:36,070 --> 00:08:40,538
Now, when it comes
to the actual fucking...
119
00:08:40,540 --> 00:08:43,974
First of all, condoms are
terrible. They just are.
120
00:08:43,976 --> 00:08:47,143
But you gotta wear one, 'cause,
unlike porn,
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real pussy can kill you.
122
00:08:49,314 --> 00:08:53,548
Second of all, missionary
is the worst position
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in all of fucking.
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The tits lie flat,
you can't see her ass,
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00:08:58,387 --> 00:09:01,855
you can't touch her ass,
'cause she's lying on her back.
126
00:09:01,857 --> 00:09:05,557
They won't let you do it from behind,
'cause they wanna look at you.
127
00:09:05,559 --> 00:09:08,458
And basically it's on me
to do all the work.
128
00:09:08,460 --> 00:09:12,162
Moneyshot? No. There is no
real-life moneyshot.
129
00:09:12,164 --> 00:09:15,864
Real girls won't do that shit. You just
gotta cum into the fucking condom.
130
00:09:22,437 --> 00:09:26,006
So, you tell me,
which looks better?
131
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This?
132
00:09:30,210 --> 00:09:34,979
Or this?
133
00:10:17,645 --> 00:10:21,547
Jesus! What are you fucking retarded?!
You're fucking retarded!
134
00:10:21,549 --> 00:10:26,618
You're a retarded person and
you're driving a fucking car!
135
00:10:48,602 --> 00:10:51,335
In the name of the Father, the
Son and the Holy Spirit. Amen.
136
00:10:51,337 --> 00:10:53,037
Amen.
Bless you, my son.
137
00:10:53,039 --> 00:10:54,972
Forgive me, Father, for
I have sinned.
138
00:10:54,974 --> 00:10:56,406
It has been one week
since my last confession.
139
00:10:56,408 --> 00:10:58,008
Tell me your sins.
140
00:10:58,010 --> 00:10:59,643
Since last Sunday,
I had sexual relations
141
00:10:59,645 --> 00:11:02,044
out of wedlock two times.
I also watched
142
00:11:02,046 --> 00:11:04,646
pornographic videos
and masturbated 17 times.
143
00:11:04,648 --> 00:11:07,080
For these and all the sins
of my life, I am sorry.
144
00:11:07,082 --> 00:11:09,683
- Ten Lord's Prayers and ten Hail Marys.
- Thank you, Father.
145
00:11:09,685 --> 00:11:12,519
Through the ministry of the Church,
may God give you pardon and peace,
146
00:11:12,521 --> 00:11:16,054
and I absolve you from your sins in the name
of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit.
147
00:11:16,056 --> 00:11:17,289
Amen.
148
00:11:17,291 --> 00:11:19,456
Bullshit! Bullshit!
Did you see that?
149
00:11:19,458 --> 00:11:21,191
That was fucking bullshit.
Bad call.
150
00:11:21,193 --> 00:11:24,061
- Jesus fucking Christ!
- Jon!
151
00:11:24,063 --> 00:11:27,562
- Fucking bullshit. Did you see that?
- I didn't see. What happened?
152
00:11:27,564 --> 00:11:29,531
They'll do a replay.
They better do a fucking replay.
153
00:11:29,533 --> 00:11:32,199
Unless they just don't want us to
see how bad that fucking call was.
154
00:11:32,201 --> 00:11:34,235
Why don't you get the thing
where you can pause...
155
00:11:34,237 --> 00:11:36,370
- Assholes, where's the replay?!
- Dad, there's a thing you can pause
156
00:11:36,372 --> 00:11:38,171
- and rewind.
- What are you talking about?
157
00:11:38,173 --> 00:11:40,105
It's digital.
You just rewind and watch it.
158
00:11:40,107 --> 00:11:42,640
- I'm not taping this.
- I know you're not taping it.
159
00:11:42,642 --> 00:11:44,509
Are you people serious,
no fucking replay?!
160
00:11:44,511 --> 00:11:47,145
- I'm not talking about a VCR.
- How do I know what the fuck
161
00:11:47,147 --> 00:11:49,246
- you're talking about?
- I don't know, I guess 'cause
162
00:11:49,248 --> 00:11:51,148
most American people
have heard of TiVo.
163
00:11:51,150 --> 00:11:53,516
Most people that pay attention
to the world around them!
164
00:11:53,518 --> 00:11:55,550
Here it is.
Shut up already, finally. Shit!
165
00:11:55,552 --> 00:11:58,153
- You seriously never heard of that?
- Yes!
166
00:11:58,155 --> 00:11:59,721
I've heard of it,
Jesus fucking...
167
00:11:59,723 --> 00:12:04,057
There! Look, his foot's on the
line! Look at that bullshit!
168
00:12:04,059 --> 00:12:06,325
- Jon! All right already!
- So if you've heard of it,
169
00:12:06,327 --> 00:12:07,993
- what is it?
- Did you see that?
170
00:12:07,995 --> 00:12:09,261
I'm asking you a question.
171
00:12:09,263 --> 00:12:10,462
It's a fucking thing...
172
00:12:10,464 --> 00:12:12,263
Wait a minute.
Did you see that?
173
00:12:12,265 --> 00:12:13,364
I'm asking you. Did you?
174
00:12:13,366 --> 00:12:15,466
Nah, I didn't see it.
175
00:12:15,468 --> 00:12:17,367
Why not?! What the fuck's
the matter with you?
176
00:12:17,369 --> 00:12:21,236
I said look at this play,
I said it right to you!
177
00:12:21,238 --> 00:12:24,105
I ask you to do the easiest fucking
thing, and you can't do it!
178
00:12:24,107 --> 00:12:27,141
- At least I know what a TiVo is.
- I know what a fucking TiVo is!
179
00:12:27,143 --> 00:12:28,709
You want a TiVo?
Is that what you're saying?
180
00:12:28,711 --> 00:12:31,043
- I would love a fucking TiVo.
- Who do you love?
181
00:12:31,045 --> 00:12:35,281
He loves TiVo. He sure as shit
don't love football. We know that.
182
00:12:43,387 --> 00:12:47,622
One of these days, I'm gonna sit down here
and start eating, and you're gonna say,
183
00:12:47,624 --> 00:12:49,591
- "Mom, I found her. "
- Ma!
184
00:12:49,593 --> 00:12:51,159
One of these days.
185
00:12:56,263 --> 00:13:01,400
Holy Mary...
Mother of God...
186
00:13:01,402 --> 00:13:03,635
...pray for us now...
187
00:13:03,637 --> 00:13:06,036
...and at the hour of death...
188
00:13:06,471 --> 00:13:08,438
Amen.
189
00:13:14,344 --> 00:13:16,611
Hail Mary... full of grace...
190
00:13:16,613 --> 00:13:20,314
All right, I'll admit,
there are some down sides.
191
00:13:20,316 --> 00:13:24,150
Like there's the times you find
a great clip, with a hot chick.
192
00:13:24,152 --> 00:13:28,553
And right when you're starting
to cum, it shows the guy.
193
00:13:31,691 --> 00:13:33,290
Fuck! Goddamn it!
194
00:13:33,292 --> 00:13:35,325
It's no one's
fault, really,
195
00:13:35,327 --> 00:13:38,528
but it still sucks. So...
196
00:13:38,530 --> 00:13:40,696
Also, nowadays
you got so much
197
00:13:40,698 --> 00:13:43,064
to choose from,
finding just the right clip
198
00:13:43,066 --> 00:13:45,333
can take a lot of time.
199
00:13:45,335 --> 00:13:47,200
And my time is
precious to me.
200
00:13:47,202 --> 00:13:51,605
Yeah, I got shit to do. So...
201
00:13:51,607 --> 00:13:54,139
And, every once in a while,
202
00:13:54,141 --> 00:13:58,376
you find a clip that's so good,
it's fucking depressing.
203
00:13:58,378 --> 00:14:01,378
And you're thinking to yourself,
why can't real pussy be like this?
204
00:14:01,380 --> 00:14:04,613
You know, I smash new girls
all the fucking time,
205
00:14:04,615 --> 00:14:08,417
always an eight or better, and it's still
never this good. What am I doing wrong?
206
00:14:10,453 --> 00:14:15,389
Maybe it's time to try
something new. So...
207
00:14:23,562 --> 00:14:26,531
- Yo, you remember that dime
from last week? - Oh, shit.
208
00:14:26,533 --> 00:14:29,298
The blonde in the dress? She
was insane, bro. You hit that?
209
00:14:29,300 --> 00:14:32,068
No, I didn't, you fucking alcoholic,
I saw you after she left.
210
00:14:32,070 --> 00:14:34,369
- Fuck you, Jonny!
- I thought you made that happen.
211
00:14:34,371 --> 00:14:36,538
- I threw it to this other random.
- Typical.
212
00:14:36,540 --> 00:14:38,406
- Probably an eight or nine.
- Six or seven.
213
00:14:38,408 --> 00:14:40,640
Shut the fuck up!
Who'd you take home, huh?
214
00:14:40,642 --> 00:14:43,376
Twos and threes, baby. I'm
telling you, twos and threes
215
00:14:43,378 --> 00:14:45,111
are some open-minded ladies.
216
00:14:45,113 --> 00:14:47,813
- I wanna find that girl.
- You get her name?
217
00:14:47,815 --> 00:14:50,749
- Her name?
- First and last name.
218
00:14:50,751 --> 00:14:53,483
I'm looking for her name,
first and last name.
219
00:14:53,485 --> 00:14:56,045
Shit, I don't know.
You know who would?
220
00:14:57,821 --> 00:15:01,323
- Barbara Sugarman.
- Sugarman?
221
00:15:01,325 --> 00:15:02,758
Thanks, bro.
222
00:15:02,760 --> 00:15:05,592
- OK, what was it again?
- Barbara Sugarman.
223
00:15:07,662 --> 00:15:10,496
- You see her anywhere?
- No.
224
00:15:11,798 --> 00:15:13,732
- Oh, shit!
- That's her?
225
00:15:13,734 --> 00:15:16,668
- That's definitely her.
- Oh! Got you, bitch!
226
00:15:16,670 --> 00:15:18,669
What you wanna say?
You gotta say something.
227
00:15:18,671 --> 00:15:21,472
- Really? - A girl that bad
gets mad friend requests.
228
00:15:21,474 --> 00:15:25,575
- Fuck! - I think it's dinner.
Maybe even lunch.
229
00:15:25,577 --> 00:15:27,843
Might have to take this girl
out for coffee.
230
00:15:27,845 --> 00:15:29,844
- Christ!
- Yeah, this is the long game.
231
00:15:29,846 --> 00:15:31,612
You're not getting that butt
from Barbara Sugarman
232
00:15:31,614 --> 00:15:33,580
anytime in
the immediate future.
233
00:15:33,582 --> 00:15:35,215
If you had it like that,
it would have went down.
234
00:15:35,217 --> 00:15:37,784
You're right.
You're totally right. Shit!
235
00:15:37,786 --> 00:15:41,319
I know, I was about to say, the mighty
Don bringing out the long game?
236
00:15:41,321 --> 00:15:43,588
- She's a dime, but...
- This girl's more than a dime.
237
00:15:43,590 --> 00:15:47,157
Come on, son. There's no such thing, that's
the point, it's a scale from one to ten.
238
00:15:47,159 --> 00:15:49,292
- I'm saying, this girl...
- Oh, my God!
239
00:15:49,294 --> 00:15:53,728
- You in love with this girl already?
- Go fuck yourself.
240
00:15:58,666 --> 00:16:00,667
- Hi.
- Can I help you?
241
00:16:00,669 --> 00:16:04,470
- Yeah, two for lunch.
- Sure. Right this way.
242
00:16:42,199 --> 00:16:43,399
Hey.
243
00:16:44,634 --> 00:16:46,902
- How are you?
- Good. Good. How you been?
244
00:16:46,904 --> 00:16:50,437
- How did you get my Facebook?
- Oh. Getting right to it.
245
00:16:50,439 --> 00:16:52,339
- Yeah.
- I just looked up your name.
246
00:16:52,341 --> 00:16:54,340
- I didn't tell you my name.
- Obviously you did,
247
00:16:54,342 --> 00:16:56,475
- 'cause I looked it up.
- No, I definitely did not
248
00:16:56,477 --> 00:16:58,243
- tell you my name.
- Yeah, you did.
249
00:16:58,245 --> 00:16:59,945
- I think I would remember.
- No offense,
250
00:16:59,947 --> 00:17:01,613
but you were pretty wasted
the other night.
251
00:17:01,615 --> 00:17:03,381
- So was I.
- Can I get you some drinks?
252
00:17:03,383 --> 00:17:04,882
- Diet Coke, please.
- A Coke.
253
00:17:04,884 --> 00:17:06,349
Coke and a Diet Coke.
254
00:17:06,351 --> 00:17:09,385
I'll be right
back to take your order.
255
00:17:09,387 --> 00:17:11,220
I had a few drinks
the other night,
256
00:17:11,222 --> 00:17:13,722
so I may not have remembered
telling you my first name,
257
00:17:13,724 --> 00:17:15,757
but I definitely did not
tell you my last name.
258
00:17:15,759 --> 00:17:17,958
- I'm telling you... Hey!
- Don't lie to me.
259
00:17:17,960 --> 00:17:20,726
Look, you don't know me, so I'm gonna
let you off the hook this time.
260
00:17:20,728 --> 00:17:24,730
But trust me, in the future you'll be much
happier if you always tell me the truth.
261
00:17:24,732 --> 00:17:26,665
Wait, wait, wait,
I'll be happier?
262
00:17:26,667 --> 00:17:29,967
You don't think I could
make you happy if I wanted to?
263
00:17:29,969 --> 00:17:33,336
So how did you
find out my name?
264
00:17:33,338 --> 00:17:35,505
- I asked around.
- You asked around about me?
265
00:17:35,507 --> 00:17:38,440
- Yeah.
- That's interesting.
266
00:17:38,442 --> 00:17:40,409
- Why?
- Why? What do you mean why?
267
00:17:40,411 --> 00:17:42,577
- Why did you ask around about me?
- 'Cause I wanted to.
268
00:17:42,579 --> 00:17:44,611
- You wanted to take me to lunch?
- Yeah.
269
00:17:44,613 --> 00:17:47,380
- Don't lie.
- OK, I asked around about you
270
00:17:47,382 --> 00:17:49,582
'cause I wanna fuck your brains out.
Is that what you want me to say?
271
00:17:49,584 --> 00:17:53,419
Well, at least you're
being honest now.
272
00:17:53,421 --> 00:17:54,919
Let me ask you a question.
273
00:17:54,921 --> 00:17:58,355
Why did you come here, huh?
Why did you say yes to me?
274
00:17:58,357 --> 00:18:00,390
- That's a very good question.
- Yeah, so?
275
00:18:00,392 --> 00:18:01,991
You're gonna have
to wait to find out.
276
00:18:01,993 --> 00:18:04,627
- All right. I got time.
- Really? You got time?
277
00:18:04,629 --> 00:18:06,861
It seemed like you were
in a big hurry the other day.
278
00:18:06,863 --> 00:18:08,696
I can be that way
when I'm shit-faced.
279
00:18:11,499 --> 00:18:12,733
You're cute, I like you.
280
00:18:12,735 --> 00:18:15,969
- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah.
281
00:18:15,971 --> 00:18:18,570
Listen, you wanna
know the truth?
282
00:18:18,572 --> 00:18:21,505
This is the truth.
283
00:18:21,507 --> 00:18:24,675
You're the most beautiful thing
I've ever seen in my life.
284
00:18:29,647 --> 00:18:31,813
You like movies?
285
00:18:33,816 --> 00:18:37,618
I don't watch
too many movies.
286
00:18:37,620 --> 00:18:39,778
I used to watch 'em
a lot when I was a little kid,
287
00:18:40,110 --> 00:18:41,841
before I could get my
hands on any porn.
288
00:18:42,690 --> 00:18:46,758
Back then, if I wanted to see a really hot
girl, my best bet was to watch a movie.
289
00:18:46,760 --> 00:18:48,926
- That's the one you like?
- Oh, it's so great.
290
00:18:48,928 --> 00:18:51,089
- I love these two. And you?
- Yeah. They're great.
291
00:18:55,898 --> 00:18:59,935
But now, I don't
really see the point.
292
00:19:03,805 --> 00:19:06,705
I don't know, I guess
I'm missing something.
293
00:19:06,707 --> 00:19:10,843
Because most people
eat that shit up.
294
00:19:14,347 --> 00:19:16,314
The pretty woman.
295
00:19:16,782 --> 00:19:18,681
The pretty man.
296
00:19:18,683 --> 00:19:20,516
Love at first sight.
297
00:19:21,518 --> 00:19:23,552
The first kiss.
298
00:19:23,554 --> 00:19:25,387
- The breakup.
- I felt that!
299
00:19:25,389 --> 00:19:27,622
- The makeup.
- I'm scared.
300
00:19:27,624 --> 00:19:29,057
The expensive wedding,
301
00:19:29,059 --> 00:19:31,057
and they drive off
into the sunset.
302
00:19:31,059 --> 00:19:33,026
Everyone knows it's fake,
but they watch it
303
00:19:33,028 --> 00:19:35,662
like it's real fucking life.
304
00:19:39,700 --> 00:19:43,500
She was the most important thing to him.
He gave up everything for her.
305
00:19:43,502 --> 00:19:45,769
It was just meant to be.
306
00:19:45,771 --> 00:19:48,904
- I love movies like that.
- Yeah, it was great.
307
00:19:48,906 --> 00:19:53,575
He's just such a real man. And
she's so beautiful too, always.
308
00:19:53,577 --> 00:19:56,410
- Her? No, she's too skinny.
- Yeah.
309
00:19:56,412 --> 00:19:59,413
- What? - You wanna
know who's beautiful?
310
00:20:17,494 --> 00:20:21,796
- What makes you think you
could do that? - Do what?
311
00:20:54,822 --> 00:20:57,789
In the name of the
Father, the Son
312
00:20:57,791 --> 00:20:59,790
- and the Holy Spirit, Amen.
- Amen. Bless you.
313
00:20:59,792 --> 00:21:02,593
Forgive me, Father,
for I have sinned.
314
00:21:02,595 --> 00:21:04,961
- It has been one week since my
last confession. - Tell me your sins.
315
00:21:04,963 --> 00:21:09,665
Since last Sunday I did not have
sexual relations out of wedlock.
316
00:21:09,667 --> 00:21:14,469
I did kiss a girl, this one girl,
out of wedlock, several times,
317
00:21:14,471 --> 00:21:19,872
but it's just kissing. I don't know,
I forget if that counts, so...
318
00:21:19,874 --> 00:21:22,907
Also, I watched pornographic
videos and masturbated 22 times.
319
00:21:22,909 --> 00:21:25,443
For these and all the sins
of my life, I am sorry.
320
00:21:25,445 --> 00:21:28,046
- Ten Lord's Prayers and ten Hail Marys.
- Thank you, Father.
321
00:21:28,048 --> 00:21:30,914
Through the ministry of the Church,
may God give you pardon and peace,
322
00:21:30,916 --> 00:21:33,716
and I absolve you from your sins in
the name of the Father, of the Son
323
00:21:33,718 --> 00:21:35,784
- and the Holy Spirit.
- Amen.
324
00:21:36,854 --> 00:21:38,553
# I got a fever
325
00:21:38,555 --> 00:21:40,088
# An inflammation
326
00:21:40,090 --> 00:21:43,023
# That's what I got
327
00:21:43,025 --> 00:21:45,925
# You turn the heat on me
328
00:21:45,927 --> 00:21:49,461
# Some like it hot
329
00:21:50,730 --> 00:21:52,764
# Call out the engine
330
00:21:52,766 --> 00:21:54,966
# Ring up the station
331
00:21:54,968 --> 00:21:58,401
# I am on the spot...
332
00:21:58,403 --> 00:22:03,406
Introducing the charbroiled,
not fried, codfish sandwich,
333
00:22:03,408 --> 00:22:06,040
only at Carl's Jr.
And Hardee's.
334
00:22:07,476 --> 00:22:10,810
# Love burns you up the most #
335
00:22:10,812 --> 00:22:14,814
- # Like it or not
- More than just a piece of meat.
336
00:22:14,950 --> 00:22:17,648
# Baby
337
00:22:18,395 --> 00:22:21,685
# I like it hot
338
00:22:26,992 --> 00:22:31,460
Oh, go! Jesus.
It's a yellow light! Fuck you!
339
00:22:39,699 --> 00:22:42,968
Our Father...
Who art in heaven...
340
00:22:42,970 --> 00:22:46,069
...hallowed be Thy name...
Thy Kingdom come...
341
00:22:46,071 --> 00:22:47,805
...Thy will be done...
342
00:22:47,807 --> 00:22:50,841
...on earth...
as it is in heaven...
343
00:22:55,112 --> 00:22:57,078
- No.
- No... What?
344
00:22:57,080 --> 00:22:59,513
- Not out here.
- So let's go inside.
345
00:22:59,515 --> 00:23:00,848
Mm-mm.
346
00:23:00,850 --> 00:23:02,750
- Why not?
- It's not time for that yet.
347
00:23:02,752 --> 00:23:05,652
- You sure? - Yeah. We
barely know each other.
348
00:23:05,654 --> 00:23:10,755
Yeah, we do, pretty much.
349
00:23:10,757 --> 00:23:14,025
- I don't know your friends.
- My friends?
350
00:23:14,027 --> 00:23:15,826
Mmm...
351
00:23:15,828 --> 00:23:19,029
- I wanna meet your friends.
- Those guys are assholes.
352
00:23:19,031 --> 00:23:20,763
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
353
00:23:20,765 --> 00:23:24,098
And you don't know my friends.
354
00:23:24,100 --> 00:23:27,134
- Or our families.
- Wait, our families?
355
00:23:27,136 --> 00:23:30,804
Yeah. I wanna meet
your parents and your sister.
356
00:23:30,806 --> 00:23:33,572
- Oh, Jesus! - What? You don't
wanna meet my brothers
357
00:23:33,574 --> 00:23:37,709
- and my sister?
- Uh...
358
00:23:37,711 --> 00:23:42,813
- 'Cause I know they wanna meet you.
- Yeah... I bet they do.
359
00:23:42,815 --> 00:23:44,980
Mmm...
360
00:23:47,817 --> 00:23:52,186
Mm-hm.
361
00:23:52,188 --> 00:23:53,554
- Jon.
- Yeah?
362
00:23:53,556 --> 00:23:54,956
I can't let you
363
00:23:54,958 --> 00:23:57,256
- come inside just yet.
- No?
364
00:23:57,258 --> 00:24:00,926
No, 'cause I don't know what
that would mean. You know?
365
00:24:00,928 --> 00:24:03,995
I don't want to do anything
unless it means something.
366
00:24:03,997 --> 00:24:06,731
- Uh-huh...
- Mm...
367
00:24:06,733 --> 00:24:09,232
Don't you think it's always
better when it means something?
368
00:24:09,234 --> 00:24:11,133
- Yeah.
- Mm...
369
00:24:11,135 --> 00:24:14,836
- I think you should go back
to school, baby. - What?
370
00:24:14,838 --> 00:24:19,741
- Yeah, come on. Just a night class.
- Oh, my God!
371
00:24:19,743 --> 00:24:21,841
- Just get your degree.
- Oh!
372
00:24:21,843 --> 00:24:25,111
- You would be so sexy
with a real job. - Mm!
373
00:24:25,113 --> 00:24:28,146
Mm-hm! Yeah...
374
00:24:28,148 --> 00:24:31,817
So, what do you say? You, me and
our friends, we go out sometime?
375
00:24:31,819 --> 00:24:35,652
- Oh, yeah. Yeah.
- Yeah? And our families meet, huh?
376
00:24:35,654 --> 00:24:36,586
- Oh!
- Yeah?
377
00:24:36,588 --> 00:24:38,220
- Yeah.
- Mm...
378
00:24:38,222 --> 00:24:41,223
And you take one night class
for me, baby? One little class?
379
00:24:41,225 --> 00:24:43,726
- Oh! Oh!
- Huh? Yeah? Yeah?
380
00:24:43,728 --> 00:24:47,261
- Yeah! Oh!
- Come on, baby, cum... cum...
381
00:24:47,263 --> 00:24:51,697
Mm-hm! Uh-huh.
382
00:24:55,169 --> 00:24:57,968
- Nice.
- Oh, Jesus...
383
00:24:57,970 --> 00:24:59,904
Yeah.
384
00:25:07,144 --> 00:25:09,744
You're so cute.
385
00:25:15,883 --> 00:25:17,851
Call me.
386
00:25:52,244 --> 00:25:54,679
- Baby!
- Baby, what?
387
00:25:54,681 --> 00:25:56,246
- Baby.
- Baby...
388
00:25:56,248 --> 00:25:58,147
- You guys having a good time?
- You bitch,
389
00:25:58,149 --> 00:25:59,281
- I don't wanna hear it.
- Jesus Christ.
390
00:25:59,283 --> 00:26:00,849
A toast. Let's make a toast.
391
00:26:00,851 --> 00:26:02,250
Everyone listen up.
You get up too.
392
00:26:02,252 --> 00:26:03,885
This is for you.
Come on. Get up.
393
00:26:03,887 --> 00:26:05,620
- Oh, God.
- All right.
394
00:26:05,622 --> 00:26:07,988
You guys know tonight
is me and this girl's
395
00:26:07,990 --> 00:26:11,290
one-month anniversary. I'm
counting that from the first time
396
00:26:11,292 --> 00:26:14,159
I ever saw her, 'cause ever since
then, I've felt the same way.
397
00:26:14,161 --> 00:26:17,095
She's the most beautiful thing
I've ever seen in my life.
398
00:26:17,097 --> 00:26:18,963
- To you, baby.
- No, to us.
399
00:26:18,965 --> 00:26:20,831
To us.
400
00:26:20,833 --> 00:26:23,299
- Mwah. Cheers.
- Cheers!
401
00:26:23,301 --> 00:26:26,101
God bless.
402
00:26:26,103 --> 00:26:28,770
- So, what's he do?
- He's in school.
403
00:26:28,772 --> 00:26:30,938
- Oh, the family's got money?
- No, he's got a job.
404
00:26:30,940 --> 00:26:32,273
- Retail?
- No.
405
00:26:32,275 --> 00:26:33,641
- Service?
- Yeah.
406
00:26:33,643 --> 00:26:35,141
He's definitely been
407
00:26:35,143 --> 00:26:37,042
- spending time at the gym.
- Right? I know.
408
00:26:37,044 --> 00:26:39,011
- He is so disciplined.
- You guys work out together?
409
00:26:39,013 --> 00:26:42,314
- Mm-mm. No.
- Does he do that muscle guy thing
410
00:26:42,316 --> 00:26:45,316
where he's, like, looking at
himself while you're doing it?
411
00:26:45,318 --> 00:26:48,918
- Oh. We haven't done it yet.
- Shit, really?
412
00:26:48,920 --> 00:26:53,055
- Oh, my God. That's so amazing!
- All right. I like him.
413
00:26:53,057 --> 00:26:55,390
Goddamn! White shorts.
414
00:26:59,261 --> 00:27:01,694
- Nah. - What? Come on,
that's a dime!
415
00:27:01,696 --> 00:27:04,163
- That's not a dime.
- I'm sorry, but I'd rather do that
416
00:27:04,165 --> 00:27:06,965
- than do yours.
- You faggot motherfucker!
417
00:27:06,967 --> 00:27:10,101
- I can like any girl I wanna.
- But she's not hotter than my girl.
418
00:27:10,103 --> 00:27:13,136
- To you, maybe not, but to me...
- Look at that. Sorry, buddy.
419
00:27:13,138 --> 00:27:16,773
- Fuck you, Jonny!
- That's the way...
420
00:27:16,775 --> 00:27:18,641
Hi.
421
00:27:32,853 --> 00:27:35,120
Shit!
422
00:27:35,122 --> 00:27:37,221
So, uh...
423
00:27:39,858 --> 00:27:42,158
I'm sort of seeing this girl.
424
00:27:42,160 --> 00:27:44,360
- What did you say?
- What do you mean, what did I say?
425
00:27:44,362 --> 00:27:46,695
- Did you say...?
- She asked you what you said.
426
00:27:46,697 --> 00:27:48,796
What's the matter with that? I
couldn't understand you, either.
427
00:27:48,798 --> 00:27:50,398
Speak up and talk
like a human being.
428
00:27:50,400 --> 00:27:52,166
- Shush.
- What's your problem?
429
00:27:52,168 --> 00:27:53,267
- Jon.
- What?
430
00:27:53,269 --> 00:27:54,734
Did you say you found her?
431
00:27:54,736 --> 00:27:56,970
Well, I said I'm sort of...
432
00:27:56,972 --> 00:27:58,304
Oh, my God! What's her name?
433
00:27:58,306 --> 00:28:01,406
- Barbara.
- Barbara! Barbara what?
434
00:28:01,408 --> 00:28:03,741
- Here we go...
- Shh! Barbara what?
435
00:28:03,743 --> 00:28:06,877
- Barbara Sugarman.
- Sugarman?
436
00:28:06,879 --> 00:28:09,146
- She a Jew?
- I don't think so.
437
00:28:09,148 --> 00:28:11,680
- You don't know?
- We haven't really talked...
438
00:28:11,682 --> 00:28:13,348
She's not Italian, we know that.
439
00:28:13,350 --> 00:28:15,717
- Sugarman. She black?
- No.
440
00:28:15,719 --> 00:28:17,217
What does she look like?
441
00:28:17,219 --> 00:28:19,386
She's the most beautiful thing
I've seen in my life.
442
00:28:19,388 --> 00:28:22,322
- Oh, boy.
- Baby! Oh!
443
00:28:22,324 --> 00:28:24,990
That's the sweetest thing
I ever heard anybody say.
444
00:28:24,992 --> 00:28:27,959
- And does she love you?
- Wait a minute. Love him? You kidding?
445
00:28:27,961 --> 00:28:30,327
- Jon, shush!
- They're kids, for Christ's sake!
446
00:28:30,329 --> 00:28:33,164
- So what? - You know what?
Don't call me a kid.
447
00:28:33,166 --> 00:28:34,898
We talked about this,
I don't appreciate it.
448
00:28:34,900 --> 00:28:37,332
- Excuse me.
- Dad, I'm asking you nicely.
449
00:28:37,334 --> 00:28:39,268
To not call you a kid?
You're a fucking kid.
450
00:28:39,270 --> 00:28:41,035
- Jon!
- Fuck you!
451
00:28:41,037 --> 00:28:44,839
- Fuck me? Did you just
say fuck me to me? - Jon!
452
00:28:44,841 --> 00:28:48,207
He said they're in love, they're in love.
It doesn't matter how old they are.
453
00:28:48,209 --> 00:28:50,313
He's older than you were when
we got married. You know that?
454
00:28:50,620 --> 00:28:52,958
For God's sake, he's your son!
455
00:28:56,148 --> 00:28:57,816
You love this girl?
456
00:28:59,750 --> 00:29:02,318
Yes, I do.
457
00:29:02,320 --> 00:29:05,053
Then when do we
get to meet her?
458
00:29:05,055 --> 00:29:07,989
Oh!
459
00:29:07,991 --> 00:29:09,458
All right, Mom, OK.
460
00:29:09,460 --> 00:29:13,993
Oh!
461
00:29:13,995 --> 00:29:17,463
Bella?
Sweetheart, come over here.
462
00:29:20,100 --> 00:29:25,035
Come on, let me fix your
lipstick. Here we go.
463
00:29:25,037 --> 00:29:26,870
- You look so beautiful.
- Thank you.
464
00:29:26,872 --> 00:29:29,905
- Can I get you a refill?
- You don't have to do that.
465
00:29:29,907 --> 00:29:31,474
- No, it's my pleasure.
- Jon.
466
00:29:31,476 --> 00:29:33,843
- Thank you.
- Jon, you meet Daryl?
467
00:29:33,845 --> 00:29:35,876
- Oh, wow.
- You wanna hold him?
468
00:29:35,878 --> 00:29:39,113
- I don't know...
- Come here.
469
00:29:39,115 --> 00:29:41,447
- Here you go, babe.
- OK.
470
00:29:41,449 --> 00:29:46,184
- All right. Is that good?
Is that right? - Yeah.
471
00:29:46,186 --> 00:29:48,219
You look so cute,
the two of you.
472
00:29:57,328 --> 00:29:58,961
Barbara!
473
00:29:58,963 --> 00:30:00,461
How long have
we been up here for?
474
00:30:00,463 --> 00:30:03,498
- Not long.
- Well, I gotta go, we gotta go.
475
00:30:03,500 --> 00:30:06,933
Come on, let's go.
Come on. Come on.
476
00:30:07,535 --> 00:30:09,869
Close the door.
477
00:30:09,871 --> 00:30:15,106
OK. Let's take a break and when we get
back we'll go over the course syllabus.
478
00:30:31,087 --> 00:30:33,887
- Hey.
- Baby! How is it?
479
00:30:33,889 --> 00:30:35,854
- It's great.
- Yeah? You're on break?
480
00:30:35,856 --> 00:30:38,991
- Yeah. How did you know?
- Your schedule's online.
481
00:30:38,993 --> 00:30:42,460
- Baby, I'm just so proud of you.
- Thanks.
482
00:30:42,462 --> 00:30:44,128
- Baby?
- Yeah?
483
00:30:44,130 --> 00:30:46,496
Can I come over
when you're done?
484
00:30:46,498 --> 00:30:48,898
- You wanna come to my place?
- Mm-hm.
485
00:30:48,900 --> 00:30:50,966
- What, tonight?
- Yeah.
486
00:30:50,968 --> 00:30:52,534
OK, great.
487
00:30:52,536 --> 00:30:56,104
- You get back to class, sexy man.
- All right.
488
00:30:56,106 --> 00:30:59,139
- Bye, baby.
- OK, bye.
489
00:31:11,982 --> 00:31:15,017
Jesus fucking Christ!
490
00:31:20,523 --> 00:31:23,457
- Excuse me. Sorry.
- Oh, fuck, I'm sorry.
491
00:31:23,459 --> 00:31:25,425
It's fine. It's fine.
492
00:31:33,833 --> 00:31:36,266
- Hi, baby.
- Hey.
493
00:32:06,357 --> 00:32:09,592
- It's OK. I'll be right back.
- Baby...
494
00:32:22,237 --> 00:32:25,537
I'm in love with Barbara.
I am.
495
00:32:25,539 --> 00:32:28,305
And tonight,
I finally got to fuck her.
496
00:32:28,307 --> 00:32:32,976
But I'm sorry to say,
it's still not as good as porn.
497
00:32:32,978 --> 00:32:34,444
Tits?
498
00:32:36,247 --> 00:32:38,512
Best ever.
499
00:32:38,514 --> 00:32:40,248
Ass?
500
00:32:41,950 --> 00:32:44,117
Best ever.
501
00:32:44,119 --> 00:32:45,952
Blowjob?
502
00:32:52,658 --> 00:32:58,128
Shit. Good luck. A girl that hot?
She doesn't have to give head.
503
00:33:02,266 --> 00:33:06,601
For her, she just wants to go from
kissing, to naked kissing, to fucking.
504
00:33:06,603 --> 00:33:10,337
Or, you know, making love.
505
00:33:10,339 --> 00:33:13,372
And when I say "making love,"
I mean...
506
00:33:13,374 --> 00:33:15,941
...missionary fucking.
507
00:33:15,943 --> 00:33:18,410
No doggie. No cowboy.
508
00:33:18,412 --> 00:33:20,912
- What the fuck are
you doing? - Baby!
509
00:33:20,914 --> 00:33:23,147
- What the fuck are you doing?
- I was reading e-mails.
510
00:33:23,149 --> 00:33:25,981
- You weren't. You were watching porno!
- That's not what that was.
511
00:33:25,983 --> 00:33:27,316
- I saw you!
- But, baby...
512
00:33:27,318 --> 00:33:29,151
Don't call me that. Oh, my God!
513
00:33:29,153 --> 00:33:30,286
That's the most disgusting thing
I've ever seen in my life!
514
00:33:30,288 --> 00:33:32,287
Wait, don't go right now!
515
00:33:32,289 --> 00:33:34,355
I don't even know what that is.
That's sick...
516
00:33:34,357 --> 00:33:36,957
- But, baby, I'm telling you...
- Don't call me that!
517
00:33:36,959 --> 00:33:39,659
But I'm telling you, that thing
I was watching was just a joke!
518
00:33:39,661 --> 00:33:43,428
Some dumb-ass buddy of mine sent
it to me as a joke. Come on!
519
00:33:43,430 --> 00:33:47,065
You think I'm the kind of guy
that watches porn?
520
00:33:48,167 --> 00:33:49,933
No, you didn't
seem like that type.
521
00:33:49,935 --> 00:33:51,601
Right. 'Cause fucking
losers watch porn,
522
00:33:51,603 --> 00:33:54,170
- guys that can't get laid.
- Well, no. My friends'
523
00:33:54,172 --> 00:33:56,471
boyfriends are watching porno
on the Internet all the time,
524
00:33:56,473 --> 00:33:58,974
- it's fucking disgusting.
- It's stupid is what that is.
525
00:33:58,976 --> 00:34:02,309
Why would they watch porn when
they can get with a real girl?
526
00:34:02,311 --> 00:34:05,345
- So you don't do that normally?
- No.
527
00:34:05,347 --> 00:34:07,713
When was the last time
you did that before this?
528
00:34:07,715 --> 00:34:10,716
I don't even know.
When I was a kid or something.
529
00:34:10,718 --> 00:34:13,117
You're never gonna do it again?
530
00:34:13,119 --> 00:34:18,021
No. Why would I?
531
00:34:18,023 --> 00:34:20,656
- Promise?
- I promise.
532
00:34:20,658 --> 00:34:22,625
Baby...
533
00:34:23,994 --> 00:34:25,392
I love you.
534
00:34:33,534 --> 00:34:36,035
Come here.
535
00:35:13,763 --> 00:35:17,199
It's not that I can't stop.
536
00:35:17,201 --> 00:35:20,735
I just figure, why should I? I mean,
my girlfriend doesn't like it.
537
00:35:20,737 --> 00:35:22,570
So she doesn't
have to know about it.
538
00:35:22,572 --> 00:35:24,704
It's not like
I'm cheating on her.
539
00:35:24,706 --> 00:35:27,006
I don't do it
when she's around.
540
00:35:31,276 --> 00:35:33,044
And everything's fine.
541
00:35:35,414 --> 00:35:40,182
She has been spending a lot of time at
my place, though. So I looked into it.
542
00:35:40,184 --> 00:35:45,053
And it's pretty amazing how easy it
is to get porn on-the-go these days.
543
00:35:45,055 --> 00:35:47,654
So...
544
00:35:57,531 --> 00:36:01,499
- Excuse me? Sorry, were you
on your phone? - No.
545
00:36:01,501 --> 00:36:03,767
- I'm Esther.
- Good to meet you.
546
00:36:03,769 --> 00:36:06,235
- What's your name?
- Jon.
547
00:36:06,237 --> 00:36:08,303
- I hope I'm not bothering you.
- No, it's fine.
548
00:36:08,305 --> 00:36:11,039
I just wanted to apologize.
I don't know if you remember,
549
00:36:11,041 --> 00:36:14,075
you caught me in a kind of an
inopportune moment last week.
550
00:36:14,076 --> 00:36:17,143
- When I was sobbing by the door?
- Oh! Yeah, sorry,
551
00:36:17,145 --> 00:36:20,379
- I'm sorry about that. - Please, don't.
Please, don't you apologize.
552
00:36:20,381 --> 00:36:22,114
You didn't do anything wrong.
553
00:36:22,116 --> 00:36:24,582
- I felt like I should say something.
- OK. Well...
554
00:36:24,584 --> 00:36:28,519
Because I've been thinking about it,
a lot actually, and I realized that,
555
00:36:28,521 --> 00:36:32,422
you know, nobody's seen me
like that in, like, six months,
556
00:36:32,424 --> 00:36:35,357
- and it's not like it's rare...
- Good evening, everyone.
557
00:36:35,359 --> 00:36:39,260
...a rare occurrence,
I mean, I do that all the time,
558
00:36:39,262 --> 00:36:43,730
I'm crying all the time. It's just
something that I do in private now.
559
00:36:43,732 --> 00:36:47,066
On the one hand,
you go there when you go there.
560
00:36:47,068 --> 00:36:50,202
On the other hand, it's really
fucked up to keep it hidden, right?
561
00:36:50,204 --> 00:36:53,136
That's what became clear to me
when you startled me.
562
00:36:53,138 --> 00:36:55,772
You didn't, you didn't mean
to startle me, you walked by,
563
00:36:55,774 --> 00:36:59,408
but I just...
so I wanted to say thank you.
564
00:36:59,410 --> 00:37:03,211
Were you... I'm sorry,
this might be rude,
565
00:37:03,213 --> 00:37:04,845
but were you watching
people fucking on your phone?
566
00:37:04,847 --> 00:37:08,082
- What? No! - It's OK if you were.
I'm not judging you.
567
00:37:08,084 --> 00:37:11,284
- Lady, I'm just here to take this class.
- Did you just call me "lady"?
568
00:37:11,286 --> 00:37:14,220
So you take care.
569
00:37:14,222 --> 00:37:16,353
Oh, yeah. Sorry. Say no more.
570
00:37:21,326 --> 00:37:24,260
- I'm sorry.
- No, it's fine.
571
00:37:37,371 --> 00:37:40,605
What, are you fucking kidding me?!
You're fucking kidding me, right?!
572
00:37:40,607 --> 00:37:42,340
- Baby!
- What?
573
00:37:54,250 --> 00:37:58,319
I feel like I should leave my jacket in
the car. Maybe not. Should I bring it?
574
00:37:58,321 --> 00:38:00,788
- Yeah, whatever you want.
- Oh...
575
00:38:00,790 --> 00:38:03,323
- I'm nervous. That's all.
- Why you nervous?
576
00:38:03,325 --> 00:38:05,224
- I don't know...
- You got nothing to be nervous about.
577
00:38:05,226 --> 00:38:08,227
You look beautiful.
God, you look beautiful.
578
00:38:08,229 --> 00:38:10,528
Oh.
579
00:38:10,530 --> 00:38:12,864
- Are you ready? Go ahead.
- Yeah. All right.
580
00:38:14,299 --> 00:38:16,132
- Hi, Mom.
- Hi.
581
00:38:16,134 --> 00:38:19,602
Oh, hello, hello!
You must be Barbara.
582
00:38:19,604 --> 00:38:24,439
- Hi, Mrs. Martello. For you.
- Thank you, and please call me Angie.
583
00:38:24,441 --> 00:38:30,343
Come in, come in. Jon! Jonny's here!
Come say hello to your son!
584
00:38:30,345 --> 00:38:33,378
- Please.
- Let me get by you there, babe.
585
00:38:33,380 --> 00:38:38,250
Dad? I would like you to meet
Barbara. Baby, this is my dad.
586
00:38:38,252 --> 00:38:41,184
- Hi, Mr. Martello.
- Hey, good to meet you.
587
00:38:41,186 --> 00:38:43,553
- Jesus Christ!
- Jon!
588
00:38:43,555 --> 00:38:47,156
Oh, I... I wasn't expecting
such a lovely lady, that's all.
589
00:38:47,158 --> 00:38:50,259
Thank you. It's so nice
to finally meet you both.
590
00:38:50,261 --> 00:38:52,492
My pleasure, my pleasure.
591
00:38:52,494 --> 00:38:55,562
Well, please sit down
and I will be right back.
592
00:38:55,564 --> 00:38:59,732
- Can I help you with anything at all?
- Oh! I love her already.
593
00:38:59,734 --> 00:39:04,801
- Yes, please, sweetie, come on.
- You want me to take that, babe?
594
00:39:04,803 --> 00:39:07,571
- Hey, hey, Jonny-boy!
- She's cute, right?
595
00:39:07,573 --> 00:39:09,939
Are you fucking kidding me? You
didn't tell me you were bringing home
596
00:39:09,941 --> 00:39:13,376
- a piece of ass like that! - I told you
she was the most beautiful thing
597
00:39:13,378 --> 00:39:15,943
- I've ever seen in my life.
- Yeah, you told me, but I mean,
598
00:39:15,945 --> 00:39:18,279
Jesus Christ, those tits!
They're real?
599
00:39:18,281 --> 00:39:21,614
- Yeah, they're real.
- Oh! Fuck me!
600
00:39:21,616 --> 00:39:25,785
- Did you clear the table?
- Yeah, yeah. Here, honey.
601
00:39:25,787 --> 00:39:28,920
Let me move this here,
so you can put that right there.
602
00:39:28,922 --> 00:39:32,656
- Right here?
- Right there. That's perfect.
603
00:39:35,293 --> 00:39:37,961
So tell me.
Tell me, how did it go?
604
00:39:37,963 --> 00:39:41,496
I was out with some girlfriends.
We went to see some band.
605
00:39:41,498 --> 00:39:43,398
Back then you used to see bands
when you went out.
606
00:39:43,400 --> 00:39:46,900
- Honey, what band was it?
- You think I remember?
607
00:39:46,902 --> 00:39:50,469
It was 28 years ago, and I
didn't even give a shit then.
608
00:39:50,471 --> 00:39:52,671
Anyway, I saw him early
in the night,
609
00:39:52,673 --> 00:39:55,640
I don't know if he saw me
till later, but I saw him.
610
00:39:55,642 --> 00:39:58,542
And I saw her,
you couldn't miss her.
611
00:39:58,544 --> 00:40:01,812
- She was like you.
- Thank you.
612
00:40:01,814 --> 00:40:04,279
- You know what I said?
- Listen to this.
613
00:40:04,281 --> 00:40:09,217
I said right then, right
when I saw her, I said...
614
00:40:09,219 --> 00:40:10,885
..."That's mine. "
615
00:40:10,887 --> 00:40:14,588
- Oh, God.
- Yup. And he was right.
616
00:40:14,590 --> 00:40:16,622
Can you... Well,
that's beautiful.
617
00:40:16,624 --> 00:40:19,791
- Oh! Big play! Look at that!
- OK, Jon.
618
00:40:19,793 --> 00:40:22,493
- All right, Dad.
- All right, yeah.
619
00:40:22,495 --> 00:40:26,230
- Good job, big guy.
- Sweetie, so nice to meet you.
620
00:40:26,232 --> 00:40:29,899
- Bye, Mr. Martello.
- Please call me Jon.
621
00:40:29,901 --> 00:40:32,000
OK, Mom.
622
00:40:32,002 --> 00:40:33,568
- All right, babe?
- Oh! Bye.
623
00:40:33,570 --> 00:40:34,836
- Bye-bye.
- Bye.
624
00:40:34,838 --> 00:40:37,671
- Bye-bye.
- Drive safe.
625
00:40:37,673 --> 00:40:43,276
- I love her! I love her!
- Pretty good, huh? Not bad at all.
626
00:40:58,521 --> 00:41:01,589
In the name of the Father,
627
00:41:01,591 --> 00:41:03,258
the Son and the Holy Spirit,
Amen.
628
00:41:03,260 --> 00:41:05,292
Amen.
Bless you, my son.
629
00:41:05,294 --> 00:41:07,027
Forgive me, Father, for I have
sinned. It has been one week
630
00:41:07,029 --> 00:41:08,894
- since my last confession.
- Tell me your sins.
631
00:41:08,896 --> 00:41:11,864
Since last Sunday,
I had sexual intercourse
632
00:41:11,866 --> 00:41:13,698
out of wedlock seven times.
633
00:41:13,700 --> 00:41:17,001
But... I stopped watching porn.
634
00:41:17,003 --> 00:41:21,537
Yeah, no more of that,
just the intercourse now.
635
00:41:21,539 --> 00:41:23,339
So...
636
00:41:23,341 --> 00:41:26,408
For these and all the sins of my
life, I am sorry.
637
00:41:26,410 --> 00:41:29,443
- Five Lord's Prayers and five Hail Marys.
- Thank you, Father.
638
00:41:29,445 --> 00:41:32,445
Through the ministry of the Church,
may God give you pardon and peace,
639
00:41:32,447 --> 00:41:34,848
and I absolve you from your sins in
the name of the Father, of the Son
640
00:41:34,850 --> 00:41:37,416
- and the Holy Spirit.
- Amen.
641
00:41:37,418 --> 00:41:42,053
Very good. OK, when we come back,
we'll go over employee personality testing.
642
00:41:42,055 --> 00:41:44,521
Go ahead, take a break.
643
00:41:47,392 --> 00:41:50,559
- Hi. Mind if I sit down?
- You know, actually, I...
644
00:41:50,561 --> 00:41:52,528
- I brought you something.
- You what?
645
00:41:52,530 --> 00:41:54,428
- What's that?
- Open it.
646
00:41:54,430 --> 00:41:56,430
- I don't want to take that from you.
- No, no, open it.
647
00:41:56,432 --> 00:41:58,832
It's something silly.
It's a little thing. Go ahead.
648
00:41:58,834 --> 00:42:00,767
All right. I'll open it.
649
00:42:02,436 --> 00:42:04,836
- What the fuck is this?
- It's actually pretty good.
650
00:42:04,838 --> 00:42:06,804
- What is the matter with you?
- Have you seen it?
651
00:42:06,806 --> 00:42:09,440
- Are you crazy?
- It was made by this Danish woman
652
00:42:09,442 --> 00:42:14,077
in the '70s. It's probably not what you're
used to looking at, but it's pretty hot.
653
00:42:14,079 --> 00:42:17,846
OK. Look, I have a girlfriend,
all right? So...
654
00:42:17,848 --> 00:42:21,716
I'm sorry, did you think I was
hitting on you? Because I'm not.
655
00:42:21,718 --> 00:42:25,018
- Will you just take this?
- I didn't mean for it to be a big thing.
656
00:42:25,332 --> 00:42:26,980
I thought you could use
something better than
657
00:42:27,335 --> 00:42:30,086
that shit you're watching
on your phone. Am I right?
658
00:42:31,458 --> 00:42:34,392
If you have a girlfriend, why
are you watching dirty movies?
659
00:42:34,394 --> 00:42:36,860
- What?
- I'm just asking.
660
00:42:36,862 --> 00:42:40,097
- You're fucking weird, you know that?
- I don't entirely disagree,
661
00:42:40,099 --> 00:42:41,930
but you're the one who's
gonna pretend you're texting
662
00:42:41,932 --> 00:42:44,032
while you watch people pretend
they're fucking on your phone!
663
00:42:44,034 --> 00:42:46,401
The shit I watch on here,
they're not pretending.
664
00:42:46,403 --> 00:42:49,003
Of course they are.
665
00:42:57,344 --> 00:42:59,577
Forgive us our trespasses...
666
00:42:59,579 --> 00:43:03,481
...as we forgive those...
who trespass against us...
667
00:43:03,483 --> 00:43:08,551
...and lead us not...
into temptation...
668
00:43:08,553 --> 00:43:10,019
...but deliver us from evil...
669
00:43:10,021 --> 00:43:11,820
- Baby?
- Huh?
670
00:43:11,822 --> 00:43:14,689
What are you doing?
You talking to yourself?
671
00:43:14,691 --> 00:43:16,958
- Yo, Jonny, you coming out tonight?
- That's dubious.
672
00:43:16,960 --> 00:43:19,659
I'm gonna wait for Barbara to call.
We're gonna meet up for dinner.
673
00:43:19,661 --> 00:43:22,128
- This fucking guy. Come on!
- What did you think he was gonna say?
674
00:43:22,130 --> 00:43:24,963
I thought he still had a pair of
balls hanging between his legs.
675
00:43:24,965 --> 00:43:27,999
You sound so fucking stupid to me
right now, I feel sorry for you.
676
00:43:28,001 --> 00:43:30,133
- Fuck you.
- I do. I feel sorry for you.
677
00:43:30,135 --> 00:43:32,802
You never been in love, so you don't
know what you're talking about.
678
00:43:32,804 --> 00:43:34,938
Hold up. Wait a minute. In love?
679
00:43:34,940 --> 00:43:37,539
When you really love a girl,
there's a lot that goes into it.
680
00:43:37,541 --> 00:43:39,608
- You're saying you love her?
- Of course I love her.
681
00:43:39,610 --> 00:43:42,576
- I never heard you say you loved her.
- You weren't paying attention.
682
00:43:42,578 --> 00:43:45,612
I've been in love with this girl
since the first time I saw her.
683
00:43:45,614 --> 00:43:47,713
Why would I wanna go out
and try to pull randoms?
684
00:43:47,715 --> 00:43:49,749
None of 'em are gonna
look as good as my girl,
685
00:43:49,751 --> 00:43:51,717
none of 'em are gonna fuck me
as good as my girl.
686
00:43:51,719 --> 00:43:53,584
- Really?
- Yeah, really.
687
00:43:53,586 --> 00:43:55,919
- So she's good?
- What did I say? Yeah, she's good.
688
00:43:55,921 --> 00:43:57,755
- She's the best.
- So you titty-fuck her?
689
00:43:57,757 --> 00:44:01,524
Bro, she lets me do
whatever the fuck I want.
690
00:44:01,526 --> 00:44:04,127
This is what I'm trying to tell
you, if you would listen to me.
691
00:44:04,129 --> 00:44:08,129
I'm telling you guys something. You
be a man, you do the right thing,
692
00:44:08,131 --> 00:44:11,431
you find the right girl
and you treat her the right way?
693
00:44:11,433 --> 00:44:14,801
Watch what happens.
Best sex of your life.
694
00:44:14,803 --> 00:44:15,902
Hey, baby.
695
00:44:15,904 --> 00:44:18,636
- Hey.
- Hi.
696
00:44:18,638 --> 00:44:22,606
- I love it when you wear this shit.
- Oh, you're crazy.
697
00:44:25,610 --> 00:44:27,644
- You good?
- Yeah. You order anything yet?
698
00:44:27,646 --> 00:44:30,178
- No, I waited for you.
- Sweet.
699
00:44:32,148 --> 00:44:34,648
- Oh, fuck!
- Who's that?
700
00:44:34,650 --> 00:44:38,152
It's Linda. She's
been fighting with Chris.
701
00:44:38,154 --> 00:44:40,154
I don't think
they're gonna work out.
702
00:44:40,156 --> 00:44:43,522
- You remember Linda and Chris, yeah?
- Yeah, yeah.
703
00:44:43,524 --> 00:44:47,124
- I thought they were cute together, no?
- Sure. They seemed pretty good.
704
00:44:47,126 --> 00:44:50,494
She's 28 years old. She put like four years
into the guy already. It's terrible.
705
00:44:50,496 --> 00:44:53,496
How did you get off work tonight?
706
00:44:53,498 --> 00:44:55,464
I got Stevie to cover my shift.
707
00:44:55,466 --> 00:44:57,800
- Stevie?
- Yeah, he needed the hours.
708
00:44:57,802 --> 00:45:01,135
- I don't think I know Stevie, no?
- I don't think you met him.
709
00:45:01,137 --> 00:45:05,071
- Oh! I wish somebody would cover for me.
- See? What did I tell you?
710
00:45:05,073 --> 00:45:07,606
The service industry,
it's not a bad thing.
711
00:45:07,608 --> 00:45:09,642
Come on, you're gonna
look so good in a suit.
712
00:45:09,644 --> 00:45:11,943
- I don't know.
- What? Please.
713
00:45:11,945 --> 00:45:13,845
If Armando can do it,
that man is such an asshole.
714
00:45:13,847 --> 00:45:17,114
He treats women like
they're trash, but...
715
00:45:17,116 --> 00:45:20,616
...he makes six figures.
716
00:45:20,618 --> 00:45:24,052
Well, he's got a pretty good life, no?
If he could do it, you could do it.
717
00:45:24,054 --> 00:45:27,088
Hey, baby.
718
00:45:27,090 --> 00:45:31,090
You're a winner, right?
You respect people.
719
00:45:31,092 --> 00:45:32,692
You listen to people.
720
00:45:32,694 --> 00:45:35,894
- You think so?
- I know so, mister.
721
00:45:55,945 --> 00:45:59,011
Fucking 'caused it! Fuck!
722
00:46:47,115 --> 00:46:49,083
Hi, babe.
723
00:46:49,085 --> 00:46:52,051
I don't know which ones to get.
Baby, what do you think?
724
00:46:52,053 --> 00:46:55,220
That depends. You gonna
drill into your wall?
725
00:46:55,222 --> 00:46:56,988
I don't know.
726
00:46:56,990 --> 00:46:59,790
- You don't have a drill, do you?
- No.
727
00:46:59,792 --> 00:47:03,026
Nah, I didn't think so. My dad
has got a pretty good one.
728
00:47:03,028 --> 00:47:05,228
If you want me, I can borrow
his, I'll do it for you.
729
00:47:05,230 --> 00:47:09,731
- You gonna drill into my wall for me?
- Whatever you want, babe.
730
00:47:11,967 --> 00:47:15,102
You decide what color. I'm gonna
meet you at the registers.
731
00:47:15,104 --> 00:47:17,170
I wanna pick up a few things
in cleaning products.
732
00:47:17,172 --> 00:47:18,605
Where are you going?
733
00:47:18,607 --> 00:47:20,238
- What?
- Where are you going?
734
00:47:20,240 --> 00:47:22,140
I'm almost out of Swiffer pads.
I'm gonna pick a few up.
735
00:47:22,142 --> 00:47:24,042
- What pads?
- For the Swiffer.
736
00:47:24,044 --> 00:47:26,777
- I don't know what that is.
- You don't know the Swiffer?
737
00:47:26,779 --> 00:47:28,913
- What is that? No.
- Seriously? It's the best.
738
00:47:28,915 --> 00:47:30,948
You gotta try it.
What do you do for your floors?
739
00:47:30,950 --> 00:47:33,181
You got those nice floors at
your place. What, do you mop?
740
00:47:33,183 --> 00:47:36,718
- No.
- What do you do?
741
00:47:36,720 --> 00:47:40,588
- I don't know. I sweep it up with a broom.
- No, I mean to really clean it.
742
00:47:40,590 --> 00:47:44,089
- I don't know. The housekeeper does it.
- Oh, right.
743
00:47:44,091 --> 00:47:46,792
- Listen, I'll just be a second, OK?
- No, no, no. Come here.
744
00:47:46,794 --> 00:47:49,794
- What? - You're not gonna
go buy a mop right now.
745
00:47:49,796 --> 00:47:52,263
- It's embarrassing.
- No, I told you, it's not a mop.
746
00:47:52,265 --> 00:47:54,098
- It's these pads.
- I don't care.
747
00:47:54,100 --> 00:47:55,965
You shouldn't be doing
your own housework.
748
00:47:55,967 --> 00:47:57,867
- Why not?
- 'Cause you're a grown man.
749
00:47:57,869 --> 00:48:00,102
You shouldn't be
cleaning your own floors.
750
00:48:00,104 --> 00:48:01,836
Why? I enjoy doing it.
751
00:48:01,838 --> 00:48:03,772
You know what? I'll call
Rosa. She'll do your place.
752
00:48:03,774 --> 00:48:06,675
- Who? - Rosa, my cleaning
lady, she's great.
753
00:48:06,677 --> 00:48:09,175
Babe, no. Thanks, but
I like doing it myself.
754
00:48:09,177 --> 00:48:11,678
Are you kidding me?
You don't got to be doing that.
755
00:48:11,680 --> 00:48:14,279
She won't do it right anyway. You
gotta vacuum my carpet a certain way,
756
00:48:14,281 --> 00:48:16,949
- or else it looks...
- Don't talk about vacuuming in front of me.
757
00:48:16,951 --> 00:48:19,950
- Why? What's wrong?
- Why? Because it's not sexy, that's why.
758
00:48:19,952 --> 00:48:22,118
You're not listening to me.
I like my place, OK?
759
00:48:22,120 --> 00:48:23,787
I'm proud of it,
I like to take care of it.
760
00:48:23,789 --> 00:48:24,921
I don't care. We're not having
761
00:48:24,923 --> 00:48:26,355
this discussion right now.
762
00:48:26,357 --> 00:48:28,157
There's only a few things
I really care about...
763
00:48:28,159 --> 00:48:30,993
We're not talking
about this anymore.
764
00:48:36,297 --> 00:48:39,065
- Fine, let's drop it.
- Good.
765
00:48:41,702 --> 00:48:44,034
Those ones.
766
00:48:44,036 --> 00:48:46,370
- You want those?
- Yeah.
767
00:48:49,273 --> 00:48:51,307
Come here. Listen to me.
768
00:48:51,309 --> 00:48:54,943
When we're living together,
you're not...
769
00:48:54,945 --> 00:48:58,212
...going to be doing...
any cleaning.
770
00:48:59,147 --> 00:49:01,047
Come on.
771
00:49:13,625 --> 00:49:17,928
Jon? Excuse me. Look, I know
you don't wanna talk to me.
772
00:49:17,930 --> 00:49:19,795
I would leave you alone,
but I swear to God,
773
00:49:19,797 --> 00:49:22,130
I just fell asleep during
that entire class.
774
00:49:22,132 --> 00:49:25,199
The whole fucking thing.
Can I copy your notes?
775
00:49:25,201 --> 00:49:28,769
I'd ask somebody else, but everyone
in the class are like children.
776
00:49:28,771 --> 00:49:33,038
I'm not calling you old.
It'll take like five minutes...
777
00:49:33,040 --> 00:49:36,074
- Do you mind?
- Fine.
778
00:49:36,076 --> 00:49:39,110
Thank you so much. Do you wanna
go somewhere? There's a café...
779
00:49:39,112 --> 00:49:41,879
My girlfriend's
waiting at home, so...
780
00:49:41,881 --> 00:49:45,014
Oh. OK, well, then I'll...
OK, I'll do this.
781
00:49:52,988 --> 00:49:57,323
I really shouldn't get so high after
lunch if I'm gonna be coming here later.
782
00:49:58,892 --> 00:50:01,226
You're probably right.
783
00:50:01,228 --> 00:50:05,864
- It is pretty boring, don't you think?
- What?
784
00:50:05,866 --> 00:50:10,199
- I said this class is pretty
fucking boring. - Oh. Yep.
785
00:50:10,201 --> 00:50:12,801
Like they're teaching
you to be a robot.
786
00:50:15,938 --> 00:50:19,173
- Why are you here?
- Hm?
787
00:50:19,175 --> 00:50:22,876
- Why did you pick this class?
- I didn't.
788
00:50:22,878 --> 00:50:25,010
What?
789
00:50:25,012 --> 00:50:28,414
No, it seemed like a good idea.
I'm in the service industry now.
790
00:50:28,416 --> 00:50:30,982
- You mean you're a waiter?
- No.
791
00:50:30,984 --> 00:50:33,350
- Bartender?
- Yeah, so, if you wanna move up,
792
00:50:33,352 --> 00:50:35,385
- you gotta go to school.
- Right.
793
00:50:35,387 --> 00:50:41,023
But what do you mean you
didn't pick this class?
794
00:50:41,025 --> 00:50:43,925
- No, I did.
- Did somebody pick it for you?
795
00:50:43,927 --> 00:50:46,393
- No! - Was it your parents
or your girlfriend?
796
00:50:46,395 --> 00:50:48,361
- What is it with you? Huh?
- No, I just...
797
00:50:48,363 --> 00:50:50,863
- I was wondering...
- I'm doing something polite...
798
00:50:50,865 --> 00:50:53,232
That's mine.
799
00:50:53,234 --> 00:50:55,934
OK. Sorry.
800
00:50:59,336 --> 00:51:02,072
Jesus!
801
00:51:02,074 --> 00:51:06,809
Oh, man! Oh, God!
802
00:51:12,246 --> 00:51:16,149
- Hey, baby.
- Hi, Jon.
803
00:51:16,151 --> 00:51:19,385
What's wrong?
804
00:51:19,387 --> 00:51:21,920
Remember when we
first started dating?
805
00:51:21,922 --> 00:51:25,889
What's the one thing I asked?
I said, "Don't lie to me. "
806
00:51:25,891 --> 00:51:29,125
- All right, who's talking shit about me?
- Nobody said anything.
807
00:51:29,127 --> 00:51:33,829
- You gotta help me out...
- You looked at 46 porno sites today, Jon.
808
00:51:33,831 --> 00:51:36,263
- Just today.
- I don't know what you're talking about.
809
00:51:36,265 --> 00:51:39,133
- Don't fucking lie to me!
- I don't know who told you that!
810
00:51:39,135 --> 00:51:41,768
Nobody said anything. It's
right there in your history!
811
00:51:41,770 --> 00:51:45,204
All you do is look at porno.
That's all you fucking do!
812
00:51:45,206 --> 00:51:49,774
- Wait, wait. My what?
- It's in your history.
813
00:51:49,776 --> 00:51:52,043
In your browser?
814
00:51:52,045 --> 00:51:54,845
Come on, don't tell me you don't
know what your history is.
815
00:51:54,847 --> 00:51:57,880
No. Of course you don't, 'cause if
you did, you would have erased it,
816
00:51:57,882 --> 00:51:59,247
like a good little phony. Here.
817
00:51:59,249 --> 00:52:04,085
There. Go ahead,
look. Go ahead.
818
00:52:08,490 --> 00:52:11,356
- Baby, I...
- Please, no, don't call me that.
819
00:52:11,358 --> 00:52:14,426
- I love you. - Don't ever say
that to me, ever again.
820
00:52:14,428 --> 00:52:16,927
- What do you want me to say?
- What do I want you to say?
821
00:52:16,929 --> 00:52:20,464
How about, "I'm sorry I've been
lying to you since the first day"
822
00:52:20,466 --> 00:52:23,198
- that we started dating"? How about that?
- I'm sorry. I am.
823
00:52:23,200 --> 00:52:25,934
How about,
"I'm sorry I have more sex
824
00:52:25,936 --> 00:52:27,936
with that thing than
I do with my girlfriend"?
825
00:52:27,938 --> 00:52:31,372
First of all, everybody
watches porn, OK? All guys.
826
00:52:31,374 --> 00:52:33,340
Any guy tells you he doesn't
is lying to you.
827
00:52:33,342 --> 00:52:35,341
- You are so full of shit!
- Second of all...
828
00:52:35,343 --> 00:52:39,078
- You are full of shit!
- Second of all, you know damn well
829
00:52:39,080 --> 00:52:41,045
- we do it all the fucking time!
- Yeah, I know we do.
830
00:52:41,047 --> 00:52:43,915
- Whenever you want!
- So what the fuck is wrong with you?
831
00:52:43,917 --> 00:52:46,415
What the fuck are you doing?
How do you watch that shit?
832
00:52:46,417 --> 00:52:48,818
I don't know! OK? I don't know!
833
00:52:48,820 --> 00:52:51,521
How do you watch all the stupid
fucking movies you watch?
834
00:52:51,523 --> 00:52:53,488
How do I watch movies?
What are you talking about?
835
00:52:53,490 --> 00:52:56,158
I'm saying, you probably watch
that shit as much as I watch porn.
836
00:52:56,160 --> 00:52:58,324
What are you saying? That has
nothing to do with anything!
837
00:52:58,326 --> 00:53:01,995
- I'm just saying...
- Jon, movies and porno are different!
838
00:53:01,997 --> 00:53:04,830
- They give awards for movies!
- They give awards for porn too.
839
00:53:04,832 --> 00:53:07,299
Shut up! Shut the fuck up!
840
00:53:11,969 --> 00:53:14,371
I can't believe we're
talking about this.
841
00:53:14,373 --> 00:53:16,505
I'm sorry. Jesus.
Look, stop it.
842
00:53:16,507 --> 00:53:19,475
I don't know, I don't
know what's wrong with me.
843
00:53:27,981 --> 00:53:32,084
I'm sorry, OK? I...
I'm sorry. I am so sorry...
844
00:53:37,155 --> 00:53:40,056
I really liked you, you know?
845
00:53:47,262 --> 00:53:50,464
I thought you were different.
846
00:53:50,466 --> 00:53:52,465
But you're not.
847
00:54:13,616 --> 00:54:18,385
So up until now,
my record was ten in one day.
848
00:54:18,387 --> 00:54:22,321
And for a long time, I thought I'd
never beat that. But today...
849
00:54:22,323 --> 00:54:25,891
...I hit 11.
850
00:54:27,526 --> 00:54:31,062
And you know, when I have
great fucking days like this,
851
00:54:31,064 --> 00:54:35,431
it just reminds me how much
I love being single.
852
00:54:35,433 --> 00:54:38,566
I do what I want, when I want.
853
00:54:38,568 --> 00:54:42,403
I don't have to flake
on my friends anymore.
854
00:54:42,405 --> 00:54:45,172
I don't have to waste my time
in a fucking classroom.
855
00:54:45,174 --> 00:54:49,141
It just feels good, like...
like I got my own life back.
856
00:54:49,143 --> 00:54:52,911
I mean, you think
I could have hit 11
857
00:54:52,913 --> 00:54:55,914
when I was with Barbara?
No! Definitely not.
858
00:54:57,916 --> 00:55:00,316
So...
859
00:55:17,364 --> 00:55:20,899
- Jonny-boy! - Jesus, bro,
I can smell it on you already.
860
00:55:20,901 --> 00:55:23,367
- You got to catch up, baby!
- You mean I got to buy your poor ass
861
00:55:23,369 --> 00:55:26,569
- a fucking drink?
- Yo, the Don mad anxious tonight.
862
00:55:26,571 --> 00:55:28,137
- Fuck you!
- Where's wifey?
863
00:55:28,139 --> 00:55:31,007
- Fuck that bitch.
- Oh, shit!
864
00:55:31,009 --> 00:55:32,607
- Damn, OK!
- All right.
865
00:55:32,609 --> 00:55:34,642
You can't have this one,
'cause I saw her first,
866
00:55:34,644 --> 00:55:40,280
- but check out pink.
- Yeah. She's all right.
867
00:55:58,261 --> 00:56:00,662
- Hey, fuck you, buddy!
- Fuck you!
868
00:56:00,664 --> 00:56:05,365
What'd you say? Huh? What the
fuck did you just say?! Hey!
869
00:56:05,367 --> 00:56:08,501
You wanna say some shit? Let's hear
it, you fat fuck! What did you say?!
870
00:56:08,503 --> 00:56:13,404
- I said fuck you!
- Fuck me, huh? Fuck me?
871
00:56:13,406 --> 00:56:17,441
Is that what you said?!
Huh? Huh? You fuck! Ah!
872
00:56:17,443 --> 00:56:21,444
Fuck! Goddamn it! Fuck!
873
00:56:36,456 --> 00:56:38,656
In the name of the Father, the
Son and the Holy Spirit. Amen.
874
00:56:38,658 --> 00:56:41,392
- Amen. Bless you, my son.
- Forgive me, Father,
875
00:56:41,394 --> 00:56:43,460
for I have sinned. It has been one
week since my last confession.
876
00:56:43,462 --> 00:56:45,462
- Jonny, where were you?
- Don't worry about it.
877
00:56:45,464 --> 00:56:47,064
- What did you do to your...?
- Mom, it's fine.
878
00:56:47,066 --> 00:56:50,131
- Shh!
- Hey, hush yourself!
879
00:56:50,133 --> 00:56:52,467
Mom! It's fine. OK?
880
00:56:52,469 --> 00:56:57,604
- Tell me your sins. - Father,
I don't know what happened, but...
881
00:56:57,606 --> 00:57:00,973
...I guess I lost
my temper and I...
882
00:57:00,975 --> 00:57:04,042
I punched through this guy's
window on my way here right now.
883
00:57:04,044 --> 00:57:07,111
I didn't hurt anybody, but...
884
00:57:07,113 --> 00:57:10,047
Yeah, I don't know
what's wrong with me.
885
00:57:11,615 --> 00:57:15,184
Also, I watched pornographic
videos and masturbated 35 times.
886
00:57:15,186 --> 00:57:18,987
For these and all the sins
of my life, I'm sorry.
887
00:57:18,989 --> 00:57:22,423
- Twenty Lord's Prayers and 25 Hail Marys.
- Thank you, Father.
888
00:57:22,425 --> 00:57:25,424
Through the ministry of the Church,
may God give you pardon and peace.
889
00:57:25,426 --> 00:57:29,328
I absolve you from your sins in the name of
the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit.
890
00:57:29,330 --> 00:57:30,695
Amen.
891
00:57:30,697 --> 00:57:32,597
So Barbara
couldn't come tonight?
892
00:57:32,599 --> 00:57:35,100
No, she had this
family thing tonight.
893
00:57:35,102 --> 00:57:37,367
But she wanted to make it,
she just couldn't.
894
00:57:37,369 --> 00:57:40,636
- She told me to say hello to you guys.
- That's sweet.
895
00:57:40,638 --> 00:57:42,997
Everything good
with the two of you?
896
00:57:44,640 --> 00:57:48,241
- Yeah, she's great.
- She's a catch, Jonny.
897
00:57:48,243 --> 00:57:50,677
Beautiful girl.
898
00:57:50,679 --> 00:57:55,280
I'm telling you, a woman like
that make a boy into a man.
899
00:57:55,282 --> 00:57:57,683
I can see it on you too,
it's starting.
900
00:58:09,192 --> 00:58:11,559
Holy Mary...
901
00:58:12,427 --> 00:58:14,194
...Mother of God...
902
00:58:15,296 --> 00:58:17,530
...pray for us sinners...
903
00:58:19,400 --> 00:58:21,167
...now...
904
00:58:22,269 --> 00:58:24,268
...and at the hour of our death.
905
00:58:26,371 --> 00:58:28,239
Amen.
906
00:58:46,088 --> 00:58:48,119
What the fuck?
907
00:58:58,797 --> 00:59:01,496
- The fuck you doing here?
- Damn, really?
908
00:59:01,498 --> 00:59:05,132
- Bro, I'm busy.
- Word, what you doing?
909
00:59:05,134 --> 00:59:09,437
Right. Just 'cause you don't pick
up your phone don't make you busy.
910
00:59:12,272 --> 00:59:15,240
- You smashed up somebody's car?
- Who told you that?
911
00:59:15,242 --> 00:59:20,078
Kerry's sister said she heard you
broke through some guy's window.
912
00:59:20,080 --> 00:59:21,846
- Well, did you?
- The guy was a fucking asshole.
913
00:59:21,848 --> 00:59:23,647
- What did he do?
- Why you taking his side?
914
00:59:23,649 --> 00:59:25,581
- I'm not taking his side.
- You are.
915
00:59:25,583 --> 00:59:28,650
Stop and think for a second.
Stop and think for a second.
916
00:59:28,652 --> 00:59:32,087
I don't care about that guy, I don't
give a damn about his car. Fuck him.
917
00:59:32,089 --> 00:59:33,822
What do you think
I'm doing here, man?
918
00:59:33,824 --> 00:59:36,622
- You wanna have a seat?
- Bro, honestly...
919
00:59:36,624 --> 00:59:39,092
Man, sit your ass down.
920
00:59:45,198 --> 00:59:48,099
- All right, what happened with your girl?
- Fuck that bitch.
921
00:59:48,101 --> 00:59:50,567
- You said that already.
What, she drop you? - No.
922
00:59:50,569 --> 00:59:53,335
No? You drop her? After all
that, she cheat on you?
923
00:59:53,337 --> 00:59:55,337
- No!
- So, what happened?
924
00:59:55,339 --> 00:59:57,239
Nothing! It's so fucking stupid.
925
00:59:57,241 --> 00:59:58,773
That's what I'm saying,
she's a bitch.
926
00:59:58,775 --> 01:00:00,475
She did drop your ass.
927
01:00:00,477 --> 01:00:03,110
- What did you do, man?
You cheat on her? - No!
928
01:00:03,112 --> 01:00:06,812
All right, you wanna hear this
shit? It's so fucking retarded.
929
01:00:06,814 --> 01:00:09,281
She caught me watching porn.
930
01:00:09,283 --> 01:00:11,516
- That's it?
- Right?
931
01:00:11,518 --> 01:00:13,851
- That's bullshit.
- Swear to God.
932
01:00:13,853 --> 01:00:18,154
Oh, my God! OK, hold on,
hold on, all right.
933
01:00:18,156 --> 01:00:22,624
So after all that obligatory shit, the
friend mixing and meeting her folks,
934
01:00:22,626 --> 01:00:26,293
she just walks in on you, you know,
beating your meat to a little video
935
01:00:26,295 --> 01:00:28,161
- and she's out?
- You don't know her.
936
01:00:28,163 --> 01:00:30,864
- She's crazy, she's a princess.
- Goddamn!
937
01:00:30,866 --> 01:00:34,766
- I know. - No, for real, that's
some crazy bullshit right there.
938
01:00:34,768 --> 01:00:38,836
- Fuck that bitch.
- Yeah. Fuck that bitch.
939
01:00:40,571 --> 01:00:44,207
But you still gonna
finish that class?
940
01:00:44,209 --> 01:00:46,275
- Really?
- What are you, my mom?
941
01:00:46,277 --> 01:00:48,878
No, I just thought it was almost done.
How much longer you got?
942
01:00:48,880 --> 01:00:53,180
All right, everyone, three
more weeks until the final.
943
01:00:53,182 --> 01:00:55,519
If you have any questions or concerns,
please feel free to e-mail me.
944
01:00:55,814 --> 01:00:57,307
Have a good night.
945
01:01:15,931 --> 01:01:19,534
- Hey.
- Hi.
946
01:01:19,536 --> 01:01:22,936
- Where you going?
- To my car.
947
01:01:26,541 --> 01:01:28,740
- Oh, shit!
- OK.
948
01:01:28,742 --> 01:01:31,709
No, we're fine,
we're fine, we're fine.
949
01:01:34,313 --> 01:01:36,580
Oh, my God!
950
01:01:44,853 --> 01:01:48,222
Should've smoked this before,
you might've relaxed a little.
951
01:01:48,224 --> 01:01:50,856
What's that supposed to mean?
952
01:01:50,858 --> 01:01:55,460
I'm playing with you. Trust me, I'm
a perfectly satisfied customer.
953
01:01:55,462 --> 01:01:58,796
- You want some?
- Thanks.
954
01:02:02,666 --> 01:02:05,467
So I'm parked all the way on the other side.
I don't know if you want...
955
01:02:05,469 --> 01:02:09,637
I know, you wanna get back, so let me enjoy
this and I'll drive you back to your car.
956
01:02:09,639 --> 01:02:11,606
OK.
957
01:02:13,675 --> 01:02:17,710
- So, what happened with your girlfriend?
- Fuck that bitch.
958
01:02:17,712 --> 01:02:21,379
- That bad? She find
somebody else? - No.
959
01:02:21,381 --> 01:02:24,983
Wanna know what happened?
I'll tell you what happened.
960
01:02:24,985 --> 01:02:28,284
She snooped around on my computer,
she found out I watch porn.
961
01:02:28,286 --> 01:02:31,254
I told her every fucking guy watches
porn, she didn't believe me.
962
01:02:31,256 --> 01:02:35,524
She acted like I was cheating on
her or something, which I wasn't.
963
01:02:35,526 --> 01:02:37,892
So... we broke up.
964
01:02:37,894 --> 01:02:40,694
And you know what?
I'm glad we did.
965
01:02:41,963 --> 01:02:44,396
- Just porn?
- Yeah.
966
01:02:44,398 --> 01:02:47,433
- No, I don't buy it.
- I'm telling you. That's all.
967
01:02:47,435 --> 01:02:50,934
Was it just once? Oh.
968
01:02:50,936 --> 01:02:55,472
OK. So she caught you once, which is why
you're watching it on your phone at school,
969
01:02:55,474 --> 01:02:57,940
'cause you're hiding it from her,
but she caught you the second time.
970
01:02:57,942 --> 01:03:02,276
I don't know. Am I right?
I'm just guessing, but...
971
01:03:02,278 --> 01:03:07,448
Oh, God, you're like
a junkie. You can't stop.
972
01:03:07,450 --> 01:03:09,849
- How often do you watch it?
- What the fuck do you care?
973
01:03:09,851 --> 01:03:15,386
- No, like every day?
- Every guy watches porn every day.
974
01:03:15,388 --> 01:03:19,623
All right. When was the last
time you went a day without it?
975
01:03:19,625 --> 01:03:21,758
- I don't know.
- No, come on, try and think.
976
01:03:21,760 --> 01:03:24,427
- Seriously, I have no idea.
- Like this week, like this month?
977
01:03:24,429 --> 01:03:28,429
No. I like my porn, OK? I watch it
every day. I always have.
978
01:03:28,431 --> 01:03:31,999
Maybe when I was a kid, like before I
had a VCR in my room and I couldn't,
979
01:03:32,001 --> 01:03:35,402
but even then
I had Playboys, so...
980
01:03:35,404 --> 01:03:37,837
- Have you ever thought about quitting?
- Quit...?
981
01:03:37,839 --> 01:03:43,507
- You're talking about it like... No, why
would I? - OK, let me ask you this.
982
01:03:43,509 --> 01:03:46,944
You're a good-looking guy, I'm sure
you attract a lot of young ladies.
983
01:03:46,946 --> 01:03:49,579
Why bother with porn when you
can have the real thing?
984
01:03:49,581 --> 01:03:51,913
Nah, see, it's not
the same thing.
985
01:03:51,915 --> 01:03:54,716
I mean, real pussy's all good,
but, no offense...
986
01:03:54,718 --> 01:04:00,288
No, no, no offense taken. So
you like porn better than sex?
987
01:04:03,623 --> 01:04:05,858
Well, what is it?
What do you get from porn
988
01:04:05,860 --> 01:04:08,893
that you don't get from sex
with an actual person?
989
01:04:10,329 --> 01:04:13,430
- I lose myself.
- You lose yourself.
990
01:04:13,432 --> 01:04:16,432
Yeah, just... goodbye.
991
01:04:16,434 --> 01:04:20,435
- And that doesn't happen when
you have sex. - I wish it did.
992
01:04:20,437 --> 01:04:24,472
Sure, don't we all? Um...
993
01:04:24,474 --> 01:04:28,308
OK. One more question,
then I'll drive you back.
994
01:04:28,310 --> 01:04:32,477
- You ever jerk off without porn?
- What do you mean?
995
01:04:54,895 --> 01:04:58,364
I'm not like a junkie.
Come on, that's stupid.
996
01:04:58,366 --> 01:05:01,066
It's porn,
it's not fucking heroin.
997
01:05:01,068 --> 01:05:06,502
I knew a few guys in high school who
actually smoked crack, like all the time.
998
01:05:06,504 --> 01:05:12,074
That's like a junkie. They couldn't stop.
I could stop if I wanted to. I could.
999
01:06:08,617 --> 01:06:10,051
- Hi.
- Hey.
1000
01:06:10,053 --> 01:06:13,687
- Somebody's excited.
- Yeah. Come on.
1001
01:06:13,689 --> 01:06:17,822
- I wanted to talk to you.
- Yeah? What about?
1002
01:06:18,958 --> 01:06:20,892
Don't you wanna...?
1003
01:06:21,994 --> 01:06:25,028
Don't you wanna wait
till after class?
1004
01:06:25,997 --> 01:06:27,930
OK.
1005
01:06:33,903 --> 01:06:35,669
All right.
1006
01:06:48,714 --> 01:06:52,482
You're... You're intense today.
What's going on with you?
1007
01:06:52,484 --> 01:06:54,884
- I gotta talk to you.
- I didn't think you meant that
1008
01:06:54,886 --> 01:06:56,852
- when you said it.
- Well, I did.
1009
01:06:56,854 --> 01:07:00,622
Well, I'm flattered.
What do you wanna talk about?
1010
01:07:00,624 --> 01:07:03,724
Um...
1011
01:07:03,726 --> 01:07:05,425
So you were right.
1012
01:07:05,427 --> 01:07:07,059
- About what, your girlfriend?
- No.
1013
01:07:07,061 --> 01:07:09,862
I'm sorry.
I was right about what?
1014
01:07:09,864 --> 01:07:12,964
- I stopped watching porn.
- Oh, yeah? That's great!
1015
01:07:12,966 --> 01:07:14,599
- I don't know if it is.
- No, it is.
1016
01:07:14,601 --> 01:07:16,933
I wasn't gonna stop,
but then I was thinking about
1017
01:07:16,935 --> 01:07:20,870
what you asked me before,
if I ever jerk off
1018
01:07:20,872 --> 01:07:23,839
without watching porn,
and I tried to...
1019
01:07:23,841 --> 01:07:27,843
- Yeah? And you couldn't?
- No, I couldn't.
1020
01:07:27,845 --> 01:07:30,811
I don't know what's wrong with me. I've been
trying for a week, it's really fucked up.
1021
01:07:30,813 --> 01:07:35,290
- Oh, my God! You haven't
cum in a week? - Mm...
1022
01:07:37,084 --> 01:07:42,186
OK, wait. No. I want to
hear the rest of the story.
1023
01:07:43,922 --> 01:07:47,023
- So you haven't watched
porn in a week. - Yeah.
1024
01:07:47,025 --> 01:07:51,093
- That's good. - What do you mean?
You said you watched porn.
1025
01:07:51,095 --> 01:07:54,829
Uh, yeah, but that movie
that I gave you was totally...
1026
01:07:54,831 --> 01:07:56,797
- Did you ever watch it?
- No.
1027
01:07:56,799 --> 01:07:59,666
OK. It's totally unlike the stuff
that I imagine you watch every day.
1028
01:07:59,668 --> 01:08:02,502
- That is not healthy.
- What do you mean? How do you know?
1029
01:08:02,504 --> 01:08:05,636
Oh, my God, please!
That stuff is ridiculous
1030
01:08:05,638 --> 01:08:09,540
and it's nothing to do with actual sex.
That's why you have trouble with real women.
1031
01:08:09,542 --> 01:08:13,844
- No, I get off fine with real girls.
- Yeah, you definitely do.
1032
01:08:13,846 --> 01:08:17,145
Yeah, I just couldn't get off
beating it with my eyes closed.
1033
01:08:17,147 --> 01:08:22,182
But didn't you tell me last week that
you like porn better than real sex?
1034
01:08:22,184 --> 01:08:27,553
Well, honey, I'm gonna be honest with you,
'cause it seems like that's what you want.
1035
01:08:27,555 --> 01:08:31,089
Look, the way you have sex,
it's like totally one-sided.
1036
01:08:31,091 --> 01:08:33,924
It's like I'm not even there.
1037
01:08:33,926 --> 01:08:37,595
I mean, look, it's fine with me.
I'm not complaining.
1038
01:08:37,597 --> 01:08:40,230
It just so happens that meaningless sex
is something that I want in my life now,
1039
01:08:40,232 --> 01:08:43,932
but you said that you
wanna lose yourself in sex.
1040
01:08:43,934 --> 01:08:48,202
If you wanna lose yourself, you have
to lose yourself in another person.
1041
01:08:48,204 --> 01:08:52,972
And she has to lose herself
in you. It's a two-way thing.
1042
01:08:59,545 --> 01:09:01,579
You know what?
I shouldn't have said that.
1043
01:09:01,581 --> 01:09:03,947
- No, it's fine.
- No, no, no. I'm sorry. I am.
1044
01:09:03,949 --> 01:09:07,950
- What are you talking about?
- No. I'm really sorry.
1045
01:09:07,952 --> 01:09:10,218
I'm... I didn't mean
to hurt your feelings.
1046
01:09:10,220 --> 01:09:13,688
- You didn't. That's fine.
- No, I really didn't.
1047
01:09:15,891 --> 01:09:18,224
You know what?
1048
01:09:18,226 --> 01:09:20,293
Let's take a bath.
1049
01:09:20,295 --> 01:09:24,563
- What? Nah!
- No, come on. It'll be nice. It'll be nice.
1050
01:09:24,565 --> 01:09:27,798
Come on, let's take a bath.
1051
01:09:32,270 --> 01:09:34,770
I'm gonna get you a towel.
1052
01:10:43,722 --> 01:10:46,057
Hey, where were you?
1053
01:10:46,059 --> 01:10:48,693
I used one of the towels that was
in there, hope you don't mind.
1054
01:10:48,695 --> 01:10:50,694
Yeah, that's fine.
1055
01:10:50,696 --> 01:10:54,196
- What's wrong?
- Nothing.
1056
01:10:56,165 --> 01:11:02,069
- You don't live here alone, do you?
- I actually do.
1057
01:11:02,071 --> 01:11:07,839
There's some kind of...
bad marriage situation here?
1058
01:11:07,841 --> 01:11:10,642
- No.
- I know it's none of my business, sorry.
1059
01:11:10,644 --> 01:11:14,211
I don't wanna get caught out and now some
guy's coming at me with a bat or some shit.
1060
01:11:14,213 --> 01:11:17,314
No, it's nothing like that.
1061
01:11:17,316 --> 01:11:20,349
All right. So, what is it?
1062
01:11:20,351 --> 01:11:23,352
Since when do you ask me
personal questions?
1063
01:11:25,821 --> 01:11:27,788
Since right now.
1064
01:11:27,790 --> 01:11:31,023
- It really doesn't matter.
- Well, it seems like it matters to you.
1065
01:11:31,025 --> 01:11:33,092
No, it doesn't.
1066
01:11:33,094 --> 01:11:37,895
Didn't you tell me it's sort of fucked
up to keep stuff like this hidden?
1067
01:11:43,367 --> 01:11:48,703
My husband and my son
died 14 months ago.
1068
01:11:48,705 --> 01:11:50,238
- Jesus!
- Thank you.
1069
01:11:50,240 --> 01:11:51,906
What happened?
1070
01:11:51,908 --> 01:11:56,242
Cars are terrible things.
1071
01:11:56,244 --> 01:11:59,112
I'm sorry, but your hair
is so much better this way.
1072
01:11:59,114 --> 01:12:02,080
- What?
- I can touch it.
1073
01:12:02,082 --> 01:12:03,882
What are you talking about?
1074
01:12:03,884 --> 01:12:05,950
You put so much
junk in your hair,
1075
01:12:05,952 --> 01:12:09,352
it's all sticky and hard,
this is much better.
1076
01:14:29,426 --> 01:14:32,960
# Good vibration
1077
01:14:32,962 --> 01:14:36,362
# It's such a sweet sensation
1078
01:14:36,364 --> 01:14:40,499
# It's such a good vibration #
1079
01:14:40,501 --> 01:14:45,136
# It's such
a sweet sensation #
1080
01:14:45,138 --> 01:14:47,103
# Yo!
It's about that time
1081
01:14:47,105 --> 01:14:49,038
# To bring forth the rhythm
and the rhyme... #
1082
01:15:04,519 --> 01:15:06,886
In the name of the Father, the
Son and the Holy Spirit. Amen.
1083
01:15:06,888 --> 01:15:09,420
- Amen. Bless you, my son.
- Forgive me, Father,
1084
01:15:09,422 --> 01:15:12,122
for I have sinned. It has been one
week since my last confession.
1085
01:15:12,124 --> 01:15:15,159
- Tell me your sins.
- First of all, I lied to you before.
1086
01:15:15,161 --> 01:15:20,128
I told you that, uh... Well, actually,
I don't know if it was you.
1087
01:15:20,130 --> 01:15:23,430
Something I've always kinda wondered is, is
it the same guy I'm talking to every week
1088
01:15:23,432 --> 01:15:28,935
or there's a few of you and you switch
off, or... how does that all work?
1089
01:15:31,305 --> 01:15:35,373
Well, anyway, I told the Father
a while back
1090
01:15:35,375 --> 01:15:38,093
that I stopped
watching pornography,
1091
01:15:38,455 --> 01:15:40,987
but that was a lie,
I didn't stop at all.
1092
01:15:41,380 --> 01:15:46,214
The thing is, this week I actually did stop,
like totally just not doing it anymore.
1093
01:15:46,216 --> 01:15:49,884
So...
1094
01:15:49,886 --> 01:15:53,420
- Yes? - Yeah, so that's
like zero for the week.
1095
01:15:53,422 --> 01:15:57,589
Other than that, I did have sex
out of wedlock one time,
1096
01:15:57,591 --> 01:16:02,928
but it was different, it wasn't
just sex, it was like...
1097
01:16:02,930 --> 01:16:07,931
I don't know, it's hard to explain, but...
yeah, that's it. So...
1098
01:16:07,933 --> 01:16:12,000
For these and all the sins
of my life, I am sorry.
1099
01:16:12,002 --> 01:16:14,069
Ten Lord's Prayers
and ten Hail Marys.
1100
01:16:14,071 --> 01:16:16,137
Really? Same thing,
no difference?
1101
01:16:16,139 --> 01:16:18,573
Through the ministry of
the Church, may God give you...
1102
01:16:18,575 --> 01:16:20,974
Wait! Father, I'm really sorry,
1103
01:16:20,976 --> 01:16:24,210
but could you just tell me how you
got to those numbers, please?
1104
01:16:24,212 --> 01:16:29,380
'Cause I... I really thought there
was gonna be a difference this week.
1105
01:16:33,083 --> 01:16:35,484
Have faith, my son.
1106
01:16:35,486 --> 01:16:38,254
Through the ministry of the Church,
may God give you pardon and peace,
1107
01:16:38,256 --> 01:16:43,225
and I absolve you from your sins in the name
of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit.
1108
01:16:47,094 --> 01:16:52,130
- So, uh... me and Barbara split up.
- What?
1109
01:16:52,132 --> 01:16:57,534
- Barbara and I split up.
- I can't believe it, this is horrible!
1110
01:16:57,536 --> 01:16:59,870
- Can you get her back?
- I don't think so.
1111
01:16:59,872 --> 01:17:02,138
- Did you try to call her?
- She doesn't want me to call her.
1112
01:17:02,140 --> 01:17:04,440
- Look what you did.
- Sorry. What do you want me to do?
1113
01:17:04,442 --> 01:17:08,176
I just want you to be happy, that's all!
Is that too much to ask?
1114
01:17:08,178 --> 01:17:12,412
- I wasn't happy.
- A nice wife and some nice kids?
1115
01:17:12,414 --> 01:17:15,181
Look at me!
I look like a grandmother,
1116
01:17:15,183 --> 01:17:17,583
but do I have
any grandchildren? No!
1117
01:17:17,585 --> 01:17:19,986
Am I a bad mother,
is that what I'm hearing?
1118
01:17:19,988 --> 01:17:22,586
- Honey, calm down, please!
- You know, Ma, I don't know
1119
01:17:22,588 --> 01:17:25,422
- if I really want a wife and kids.
- What are you saying?
1120
01:17:25,424 --> 01:17:27,323
You don't mean that.
1121
01:17:27,325 --> 01:17:29,325
- Jon, say something!
- All right!
1122
01:17:29,327 --> 01:17:32,028
Stop upsetting your mother! What
the fuck is the matter with you?
1123
01:17:32,030 --> 01:17:34,428
- I don't know.
- Having a family is the greatest joy
1124
01:17:34,430 --> 01:17:37,365
- in a man's life, everybody knows that!
- Then maybe I'm not a man.
1125
01:17:37,367 --> 01:17:41,968
'Cause I sure don't want a family.
Maybe one day, but not right now!
1126
01:17:41,970 --> 01:17:45,036
- Well, and that's all she wanted.
- What did she say?
1127
01:17:45,038 --> 01:17:49,574
- I said that girl...
- I cannot hear any fucking thing!
1128
01:17:52,543 --> 01:17:55,612
- What are you saying?
- All I'm saying is, that girl,
1129
01:17:55,614 --> 01:17:57,612
she has her own agenda.
She doesn't care about Jonny,
1130
01:17:57,614 --> 01:17:59,681
she doesn't know
the first thing about him.
1131
01:17:59,683 --> 01:18:02,616
She just wants a guy who's gonna
do whatever she tells him to.
1132
01:18:02,618 --> 01:18:05,286
It is a good thing
that she broke up with you.
1133
01:18:06,454 --> 01:18:10,422
- Thanks.
- You're welcome.
1134
01:18:18,530 --> 01:18:23,032
- Jon, I will fucking kill you!
- All right. Easy.
1135
01:19:06,167 --> 01:19:11,969
All right, listen, listen, I gotta go,
so I'll see you later? All right. Bye.
1136
01:19:11,971 --> 01:19:13,569
- Sorry.
- That's cool.
1137
01:19:13,571 --> 01:19:16,372
- Sorry about that.
- No problem. How you doing?
1138
01:19:16,374 --> 01:19:19,274
- A little windy.
- Yeah, it's windy out here.
1139
01:19:19,276 --> 01:19:22,209
- So... I'm good. How are you?
- Good, thanks.
1140
01:19:22,211 --> 01:19:25,211
- Everybody good?
- Yeah, great.
1141
01:19:26,613 --> 01:19:29,315
- Thanks for meeting me.
- Sure.
1142
01:19:29,317 --> 01:19:31,650
Hope you understand why I thought
lunch was not a good idea.
1143
01:19:31,652 --> 01:19:33,384
That's fine.
You want some coffee?
1144
01:19:33,386 --> 01:19:35,720
No, actually I gotta
go pretty soon, so...
1145
01:19:39,023 --> 01:19:44,259
- You changed your hair?
- Yeah...
1146
01:19:47,663 --> 01:19:50,163
- So?
- Yeah, so...
1147
01:19:51,766 --> 01:19:54,600
I just wanted to apologize.
1148
01:19:54,602 --> 01:19:58,269
I lied to you,
and I'm sorry for that.
1149
01:20:03,742 --> 01:20:06,509
Well, that's
all you're gonna say?
1150
01:20:08,645 --> 01:20:12,146
I don't really know what I do
with that. What do I say?
1151
01:20:12,148 --> 01:20:14,749
I forgive you, or we're supposed
to get back together or something?
1152
01:20:14,751 --> 01:20:17,551
- No. No, I just wanted to tell you...
- You're not capable
1153
01:20:17,553 --> 01:20:19,219
of a relationship, Jon.
1154
01:20:19,221 --> 01:20:23,122
- You're not.
- No. Right now I'm not.
1155
01:20:23,124 --> 01:20:25,523
'Cause you're a selfish
person, and you're a liar.
1156
01:20:25,525 --> 01:20:29,694
- Yeah, I was. I'm sorry.
- I asked you to do one thing for me...
1157
01:20:29,696 --> 01:20:34,263
Yeah. I was thinking about
that when you said it before.
1158
01:20:34,265 --> 01:20:38,033
Well, I said it because
it's true, that's why.
1159
01:20:39,735 --> 01:20:43,404
- It's not true.
- Really?
1160
01:20:43,406 --> 01:20:46,639
You didn't only ask me for one thing.
You asked for a lot,
1161
01:20:46,641 --> 01:20:50,208
a lot of different things
and then...
1162
01:20:50,210 --> 01:20:51,777
...I couldn't do it all for you.
1163
01:20:51,779 --> 01:20:54,412
Well, when a real man
loves a woman,
1164
01:20:54,414 --> 01:20:56,380
he doesn't mind
doing things for her.
1165
01:20:56,382 --> 01:20:58,748
He'll do anything for her.
1166
01:20:58,750 --> 01:21:04,353
Yeah, but don't you think that
sounds a little bit one-sided?
1167
01:21:04,355 --> 01:21:06,721
No, I don't.
1168
01:21:06,723 --> 01:21:10,557
But that's why you like to watch
those whores in those videos,
1169
01:21:10,559 --> 01:21:12,758
because you don't gotta
do anything for them, right?
1170
01:21:12,760 --> 01:21:18,229
Yeah, that's one-sided
also. Definitely.
1171
01:21:19,632 --> 01:21:23,599
Look, sweetie,
I'm gonna go, OK?
1172
01:21:26,437 --> 01:21:28,738
Don't call me anymore.
1173
01:21:37,144 --> 01:21:39,446
The streak is over,
motherfucker! How's it feel?
1174
01:21:39,448 --> 01:21:42,681
- I'd rather get pizza with my boys.
- That's new.
1175
01:21:42,683 --> 01:21:46,617
Every fucking time we go out,
Don Jon smashes!
1176
01:21:46,619 --> 01:21:49,086
But not tonight,
ladies and gentlemen.
1177
01:21:49,088 --> 01:21:52,289
The fans are devastated.
Jonny, what happened?
1178
01:21:52,291 --> 01:21:54,590
Yeah! Well, I thought it was on
with old crop top.
1179
01:21:54,592 --> 01:21:56,859
- No, that girl was annoying.
- She was tight though.
1180
01:21:56,861 --> 01:21:58,792
- Eight.
- Solid eight.
1181
01:21:58,794 --> 01:22:01,128
Her body was at least an eight,
but you didn't talk to her.
1182
01:22:01,130 --> 01:22:03,630
- Who cares how she talks?
- You asked why I didn't smash,
1183
01:22:03,632 --> 01:22:07,633
that's why I didn't smash. What about you?
You were kicking it to pony-tail, right?
1184
01:22:07,635 --> 01:22:10,601
- How did it go?
- You get her name?
1185
01:22:10,603 --> 01:22:13,737
- I got a number.
- Oh! Hey!
1186
01:22:13,739 --> 01:22:15,739
- You like that?
- Fucking right I do!
1187
01:22:15,741 --> 01:22:20,577
- Easy, easy. Did you get her name?
- Yeah!
1188
01:22:20,579 --> 01:22:22,145
Wait...
1189
01:22:24,146 --> 01:22:25,813
- Oh, fuck!
- What?
1190
01:22:25,815 --> 01:22:27,415
I saved it as pony-tail.
1191
01:22:27,417 --> 01:22:30,150
- Danny-boy!
- Danny-boy!
1192
01:22:30,152 --> 01:22:33,687
All right, all right, all right.
Take it easy, take it easy.
1193
01:22:45,797 --> 01:22:47,696
This fucking lady.
1194
01:22:47,698 --> 01:22:51,833
I don't usually like it when a
girl looks me right in the eye,
1195
01:22:51,835 --> 01:22:53,601
and this girl does that a lot.
1196
01:22:53,603 --> 01:22:55,836
But I don't know what it is
about her.
1197
01:22:55,838 --> 01:22:58,271
When she does it,
I don't mind.
1198
01:22:58,273 --> 01:23:02,741
I just look right back at her,
and pretty soon...
1199
01:23:02,743 --> 01:23:04,842
...I'm hard as a fucking rock.
1200
01:23:04,844 --> 01:23:07,578
It's like she knows
what I'm thinking.
1201
01:23:07,580 --> 01:23:10,580
Or I know what
she's thinking, or...
1202
01:23:10,582 --> 01:23:14,817
I don't know, it's that two-way
thing. I fucking love it.
1203
01:23:17,219 --> 01:23:21,555
And I don't mean love like, "I
love her, I wanna marry her. "
1204
01:23:21,557 --> 01:23:24,590
I'm definitely not thinking
about all that shit.
1205
01:23:24,592 --> 01:23:27,393
And she's not either.
1206
01:23:28,361 --> 01:23:30,729
She can't.
1207
01:23:34,199 --> 01:23:37,233
I guess I just mean love like,
1208
01:23:37,235 --> 01:23:41,703
you know, like
when we're making love.
1209
01:23:41,705 --> 01:23:46,374
And while we're doing it, all
the bullshit does fade away,
1210
01:23:46,376 --> 01:23:49,609
and it's just me and her,
right there,
1211
01:23:49,611 --> 01:23:53,279
and yeah, I do lose
myself in her,
1212
01:23:53,281 --> 01:23:56,715
and I can tell she
is losing herself in me,
1213
01:23:56,717 --> 01:24:02,553
and we're just fucking...
lost together.
1214
01:24:14,197 --> 01:24:16,763
# It's such a good vibration
1215
01:24:16,765 --> 01:24:18,431
# Come on, come on, come on
1216
01:24:18,433 --> 01:24:21,433
# It's such a sweet sensation
1217
01:24:21,435 --> 01:24:25,803
- # Feel it, feel it
- # It's such a good vibration #
1218
01:24:25,805 --> 01:24:28,738
# It's such a sweet sensation
1219
01:24:28,740 --> 01:24:33,776
- # Feel the vibration
- # It's such a good vibration #
1220
01:24:33,778 --> 01:24:37,679
# It's such a
sweet sensation
1221
01:24:37,681 --> 01:24:41,448
# It's such a
good vibration
1222
01:24:41,450 --> 01:24:47,286
# It's such a
sweet sensation #
1223
01:24:49,314 --> 01:24:54,552
Subtitle:
sync, fix: titler
1224
01:24:55,305 --> 01:25:01,876
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