1 00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:12,074 Play one of the best new FPS shooters, search Steam for PROJECT WARLOCK 2 00:01:03,640 --> 00:01:04,720 Ooh. 3 00:01:04,760 --> 00:01:07,160 [Contemporary bluesy music plays] 4 00:01:16,920 --> 00:01:18,320 // "I woke up in a stupor" // 5 00:01:18,360 --> 00:01:19,920 // "Guess it's time" "to face the pooper" // 6 00:01:19,960 --> 00:01:21,400 // "Sometimes" "I feeI Iike Superman" // 7 00:01:21,400 --> 00:01:24,480 // "Sometimes" "I'm just recuperating" // 8 00:01:24,520 --> 00:01:26,000 // "Yeah" // 9 00:01:28,640 --> 00:01:30,120 // "My head" "Is twisting in its cage" // 10 00:01:30,160 --> 00:01:31,840 // "My mind" "feeIs Iike a twenty gauge" // 11 00:01:31,880 --> 00:01:33,400 // "Hope it's just" "a passing stage" // 12 00:01:33,440 --> 00:01:34,800 // "My heart's not red," "it's beige" // 13 00:01:34,840 --> 00:01:37,040 // "It's days Iike this" "that burn me" // 14 00:01:37,080 --> 00:01:40,240 // "Turn me inside out" "and Iearn me" // 15 00:01:40,280 --> 00:01:44,200 // "Not to teII you anything" "I think I know" // 16 00:01:44,240 --> 00:01:46,280 // "But I think I'II teII you" "aII that I know" // 17 00:01:46,320 --> 00:01:47,960 // "Tried to teII you" "aII about it" // 18 00:01:48,000 --> 00:01:49,680 // "Thought you might've heard," "I doubt it" // 19 00:01:49,720 --> 00:01:52,560 // "Every day's a waste I know," "and every day's a funeraI" // 20 00:01:52,600 --> 00:01:54,040 // "Cutting out," "I'm feeIing Iost" // 21 00:01:54,080 --> 00:01:55,600 // "Lost my mind," "I'm Mr. Frost" // 22 00:01:55,640 --> 00:01:57,200 // "CoIIected aII the evidence," "I'm off the edge" // 23 00:01:57,240 --> 00:01:58,600 // "I'm on the fence" // 24 00:01:58,640 --> 00:02:00,720 // "It's days Iike this" "that burn me" // 25 00:02:00,760 --> 00:02:02,640 // "Turn me inside out" "and Iearn me" // 26 00:02:02,680 --> 00:02:04,600 {y:i}RYAN.: HeIIo. HeIIoI 27 00:02:04,600 --> 00:02:07,000 {y:i}-So--WaitI HeyI HeyI {y:i}-What? 28 00:02:07,040 --> 00:02:08,720 You're such a rogue. Gimme that. 29 00:02:08,760 --> 00:02:10,800 -No! -Gimme that. 30 00:02:10,840 --> 00:02:13,840 Hey--hey! Hey! Hey! 31 00:02:13,880 --> 00:02:16,000 // "I want to sink" "to the bottom of the ocean" // 32 00:02:16,040 --> 00:02:18,000 -Hey! Hey! -Hey? 33 00:02:18,040 --> 00:02:20,680 // "With you tiII I'm gone" // 34 00:02:20,720 --> 00:02:24,720 // "At the bottom" "of the big bIue sea" // 35 00:02:24,760 --> 00:02:26,760 // "Just you and me" // 36 00:02:26,800 --> 00:02:33,600 // "At the bottom" "of the big bIue sea" // 37 00:02:33,640 --> 00:02:36,560 Hey, baby. Baby! 38 00:02:36,600 --> 00:02:40,240 Turn it off. Ugh! Turn it off! 39 00:02:40,280 --> 00:02:42,320 -Turn it off! -[Thump] 40 00:02:47,960 --> 00:02:49,360 Do you think this is a joke? 41 00:02:49,400 --> 00:02:51,240 When I come home tonight, we're gonna talk about this... 42 00:02:51,280 --> 00:02:52,360 'cause this is not working. 43 00:02:52,400 --> 00:02:55,000 You want to push it even further? 44 00:02:55,040 --> 00:02:57,040 Whatever. This is ridiculous. 45 00:02:57,080 --> 00:02:59,920 [Sighs] 46 00:02:59,960 --> 00:03:02,040 // "Turn me inside out" "and Iearn me" // 47 00:03:02,080 --> 00:03:06,560 // "Not to teII you anything" "I think I know" // 48 00:03:06,600 --> 00:03:09,520 // "But I think" "I teII you more than I know" // 49 00:03:09,560 --> 00:03:13,040 // "I don't want to be aIone," "I want to be a stone" // 50 00:03:13,080 --> 00:03:16,080 // "I want to sink" "to the bottom of the ocean" // 51 00:03:16,120 --> 00:03:17,320 // "And Iie there," "Iie there with you" // 52 00:03:18,200 --> 00:03:22,080 // "Lie there with you" "tiII I'm gone" // 53 00:03:22,120 --> 00:03:24,080 [Clicking] 54 00:03:27,040 --> 00:03:28,800 [Blip] 55 00:03:31,360 --> 00:03:33,480 [Sighs] 56 00:03:36,040 --> 00:03:37,120 [Click] 57 00:03:37,160 --> 00:03:39,520 It happened again... 58 00:03:39,520 --> 00:03:41,080 last night. 59 00:03:41,120 --> 00:03:44,440 -Ohh. -Mmm. [Giggles] 60 00:03:44,480 --> 00:03:46,000 "MATT.: It's hard to expIain". 61 00:03:46,040 --> 00:03:48,320 {y:i}It starts out "Iike an earthquake"... 62 00:03:48,360 --> 00:03:50,120 [Sighs] 63 00:03:50,160 --> 00:03:52,960 {y:i}And I Iook over at the girI "next to me"... 64 00:03:53,000 --> 00:03:55,520 {y:i}and whoever she is, "she's not NicoIe". 65 00:03:55,560 --> 00:03:57,720 [Door closes] 66 00:03:57,760 --> 00:04:00,120 "And aII I feeI is emptiness". 67 00:04:01,360 --> 00:04:02,680 "And that's when it happens". 68 00:04:02,720 --> 00:04:04,240 [Rumbling] 69 00:04:04,280 --> 00:04:08,120 "This great big bIack hoIe"... 70 00:04:08,160 --> 00:04:10,200 opens up over my head. 71 00:04:10,240 --> 00:04:12,280 Again with the black hole. 72 00:04:12,320 --> 00:04:15,960 -Yeah. -[Rumbling and cracking] 73 00:04:16,000 --> 00:04:19,520 It's nothing but vast emptiness. 74 00:04:19,560 --> 00:04:23,480 -And then what? -I panic. 75 00:04:23,520 --> 00:04:25,440 [Panting] 76 00:04:27,360 --> 00:04:28,640 [Thud] 77 00:04:35,200 --> 00:04:36,320 -Unh! -[Thud] 78 00:04:41,200 --> 00:04:43,120 [Breathing heavily] 79 00:04:46,080 --> 00:04:48,760 You gotta help me. You gotta... 80 00:04:48,800 --> 00:04:49,920 light a candle for me or something. 81 00:04:49,960 --> 00:04:51,080 I'm not lighting a candle... 82 00:04:51,120 --> 00:04:52,480 so you can feel better about getting laid. 83 00:04:52,520 --> 00:04:53,920 That's not what this is about. 84 00:04:53,960 --> 00:04:55,080 [Bang] 85 00:04:55,120 --> 00:04:57,720 Look, it's been six months since Nicole dumped you. 86 00:04:57,760 --> 00:04:59,880 And you're running around feeling sorry for yourself... 87 00:04:59,920 --> 00:05:01,120 screwing every woman in sight. 88 00:05:01,160 --> 00:05:03,160 You want me to tell you it's OK, that God forgives you... 89 00:05:03,200 --> 00:05:05,600 but at some point, it's not OK, and he doesn't forgive you! 90 00:05:05,600 --> 00:05:06,680 What kind of advice is that? 91 00:05:06,720 --> 00:05:08,440 If you don't like my advice, go see a real priest. 92 00:05:08,480 --> 00:05:11,040 How will you be a real priest if you can't follow the rules? 93 00:05:11,080 --> 00:05:12,480 [Slam] 94 00:05:14,880 --> 00:05:17,280 Besides, you're... 95 00:05:17,280 --> 00:05:19,960 you're the only priest I know who happens to be my brother. 96 00:05:20,000 --> 00:05:22,920 And you're only a year away from being a real priest anyway. 97 00:05:22,960 --> 00:05:24,920 Two years. Look, what you need to do... 98 00:05:24,960 --> 00:05:28,280 is deal with your emotions and stop screwing around. 99 00:05:28,320 --> 00:05:31,800 What I don't need is a lecture from you, dick. 100 00:05:31,840 --> 00:05:34,240 [Slam] 101 00:05:34,240 --> 00:05:35,600 {y:i}JOHN.: You're the dickI 102 00:05:35,640 --> 00:05:37,160 [Slams door] 103 00:05:37,200 --> 00:05:40,400 "RYAN.: No. That sounds great". "That sounds incredibIe". 104 00:05:40,440 --> 00:05:43,200 Uh-huh. We'll probably have to bump a few things... 105 00:05:43,240 --> 00:05:46,120 from our schedule, but we can make it happen for tonight. 106 00:05:46,160 --> 00:05:47,920 Yeah. Matt and I will definitely be there tonight. 107 00:05:47,960 --> 00:05:49,400 We're putting our bells on right now. 108 00:05:49,440 --> 00:05:53,240 [Laughs] OK. All right. Bye-bye. 109 00:05:53,280 --> 00:05:56,560 -I can't go. -What are you talking about? 110 00:05:56,600 --> 00:05:58,400 I just don't feel like it right now. 111 00:05:58,400 --> 00:05:59,800 You don't fe--Look! 112 00:05:59,840 --> 00:06:02,200 I know you're still trying to work out your Nicole issues... 113 00:06:02,240 --> 00:06:04,760 with the big black hole, but trust me, trust me-- 114 00:06:04,800 --> 00:06:06,320 I don't have any Nicole issues. 115 00:06:06,360 --> 00:06:09,920 Hi. I'm one of the many pictures of Nicole... 116 00:06:09,960 --> 00:06:12,560 {y:i}that infest Ryan and Matt's "apartment after six months". 117 00:06:12,600 --> 00:06:14,200 And she's hot, Matt. I don't mind looking at her. 118 00:06:14,240 --> 00:06:15,320 I'm just saying you have issues. 119 00:06:15,360 --> 00:06:16,600 These are not issues. 120 00:06:16,640 --> 00:06:18,040 Do you still think about her when you jerk off? 121 00:06:18,080 --> 00:06:19,360 [Gulp] 122 00:06:19,360 --> 00:06:21,280 Anyway, I've got something that's gonna make it all better. 123 00:06:21,280 --> 00:06:24,600 Those two girls we met in Tahoe... 124 00:06:24,640 --> 00:06:27,280 in town for one night and one night only. 125 00:06:29,600 --> 00:06:31,880 Don't say no yet. No, don't say no. No, no, no. 126 00:06:31,920 --> 00:06:35,360 ''I want to come. They're hot. I want pussy.'' 127 00:06:35,400 --> 00:06:36,480 Oh, yeah! 128 00:06:36,520 --> 00:06:38,520 [Music playing] 129 00:06:45,000 --> 00:06:47,320 -Ahem. Hi. -Hi. 130 00:06:47,360 --> 00:06:48,440 How are you doing? 131 00:06:48,480 --> 00:06:50,040 -Good. -Good. 132 00:06:50,080 --> 00:06:51,640 -You? -Excellent. 133 00:06:51,680 --> 00:06:53,560 [Laughs] Good. 134 00:06:54,680 --> 00:06:56,000 Mmm. Waiter? 135 00:06:58,720 --> 00:07:02,000 This isn't absolut vodka. I ordered absolut. 136 00:07:02,040 --> 00:07:04,920 -Yes, it is. -Are you calling me a liar? 137 00:07:04,960 --> 00:07:07,200 I'll bring you another one. 138 00:07:09,280 --> 00:07:12,440 Sorry. I hope I didn't come off as mean. 139 00:07:12,480 --> 00:07:16,400 No, no, no. You know what you want. 140 00:07:16,440 --> 00:07:17,880 That's a good thing, right? 141 00:07:17,920 --> 00:07:21,240 Yeah. Yeah. Yes, I do. 142 00:07:21,280 --> 00:07:23,800 I know exactly what I want. 143 00:07:23,840 --> 00:07:25,840 [Laughing] 144 00:07:32,880 --> 00:07:34,360 Mmm. 145 00:07:34,400 --> 00:07:36,480 [Gasping] 146 00:07:36,520 --> 00:07:39,000 [Cracking] 147 00:07:39,040 --> 00:07:40,920 Unh! 148 00:07:40,960 --> 00:07:43,000 Oh! 149 00:07:43,040 --> 00:07:44,120 I'm sorry. I'm sorry. 150 00:07:44,160 --> 00:07:46,240 -What's wrong? -Nothing. 151 00:07:46,280 --> 00:07:48,320 -I'll be right back, OK? -OK. 152 00:07:48,360 --> 00:07:50,520 [Panting] 153 00:07:50,560 --> 00:07:52,560 -[Turns water on] -Get it together. 154 00:07:53,760 --> 00:07:56,760 Hey. Throw me a magnum for my magnum, big boy? 155 00:07:56,800 --> 00:07:58,920 -Yeah. -Thank you. 156 00:07:58,960 --> 00:08:02,360 Hey, have you ever noticed the crack on my ceiling? 157 00:08:02,400 --> 00:08:05,560 Dude, you're action-packed with issues. 158 00:08:05,600 --> 00:08:09,080 I can't do this anymore. I can't do it. 159 00:08:09,120 --> 00:08:11,160 What, does Johnny not want to come out and play? 160 00:08:11,200 --> 00:08:14,280 No. Johnny--Johnny's fine, OK? 161 00:08:14,320 --> 00:08:16,920 [Sighs] It's-- I'm all fucked up. 162 00:08:16,960 --> 00:08:19,640 All right, here's what you're gonna do. 163 00:08:19,680 --> 00:08:21,520 You're gonna strap a helmet on Big John... 164 00:08:21,560 --> 00:08:23,680 put him in the game and he will play his little heart out. 165 00:08:23,720 --> 00:08:25,200 OK? He'll put up big numbers for you. 166 00:08:25,240 --> 00:08:27,640 You're gonna forget about the cracks in the ceiling... 167 00:08:27,680 --> 00:08:29,200 forget about Nicole. 168 00:08:29,240 --> 00:08:33,000 Go out and give your star player the support he needs. 169 00:08:33,040 --> 00:08:35,480 -Right? -Right. 170 00:08:35,520 --> 00:08:37,240 Helmet. 171 00:08:37,280 --> 00:08:39,520 Oh, God! Yes! Ohh! 172 00:08:39,520 --> 00:08:41,120 Oh! Oh! 173 00:08:41,160 --> 00:08:43,920 Oh, come with me. Come with me. Are you ready? 174 00:08:43,960 --> 00:08:45,880 -Almost. -Oh, yeah! Oh, yeah! 175 00:08:45,920 --> 00:08:48,920 Oh, yes! Oh! 176 00:08:48,960 --> 00:08:51,320 [Rumbling] 177 00:08:51,360 --> 00:08:54,840 -What are you looking at? -Nothing. Nothing. 178 00:08:54,880 --> 00:08:57,400 -I'm--Unh. -Oh! Oh! 179 00:08:57,440 --> 00:09:00,280 Oh! Oh, yeah! 180 00:09:00,320 --> 00:09:01,400 [Cracking] 181 00:09:01,440 --> 00:09:05,080 Are you with me? I'm close. I'm close. 182 00:09:05,120 --> 00:09:08,320 Unh! Oh! Oh, God! 183 00:09:08,320 --> 00:09:10,240 -Ready? -Now? 184 00:09:10,240 --> 00:09:12,160 Now! Ohh! 185 00:09:12,160 --> 00:09:13,680 Ohh. 186 00:09:13,720 --> 00:09:15,320 [Moaning] 187 00:09:18,680 --> 00:09:22,680 Ohhhh! 188 00:09:22,720 --> 00:09:25,880 Ohhhh! 189 00:09:25,920 --> 00:09:27,600 Unh. 190 00:09:27,640 --> 00:09:29,920 Oh-ho! 191 00:09:29,960 --> 00:09:32,040 Ohh. 192 00:09:32,080 --> 00:09:34,680 [Sighs] Ahh. 193 00:09:34,720 --> 00:09:36,880 What the fuck was that? 194 00:09:38,080 --> 00:09:39,320 W-what? 195 00:09:39,360 --> 00:09:42,560 -Did you come? -Yeah. 196 00:09:42,600 --> 00:09:44,320 No, you didn't. You faked it. 197 00:09:44,360 --> 00:09:47,920 No, no, no. Guys don't fake it. I don't even think that we can. 198 00:09:47,960 --> 00:09:49,440 -You faked it. -Hey. 199 00:09:51,640 --> 00:09:53,920 Hey. Hey. 200 00:09:53,920 --> 00:09:56,280 [Grunting] 201 00:09:56,320 --> 00:09:58,080 Let go! 202 00:09:58,080 --> 00:10:01,840 -Show me. -Show you what? 203 00:10:01,880 --> 00:10:04,280 You know. The stuff. 204 00:10:04,320 --> 00:10:06,520 This is ridiculous. 205 00:10:06,560 --> 00:10:08,280 What are you hiding? 206 00:10:08,320 --> 00:10:11,800 Nothing. Just give me second, OK? 207 00:10:15,520 --> 00:10:16,840 -[Condom snaps] -Ow! 208 00:10:16,880 --> 00:10:19,400 -WOMAN: Just a sec. -[Toilet flushes] 209 00:10:21,920 --> 00:10:24,920 Here we go. Use anything. 210 00:10:24,960 --> 00:10:27,640 -What's going on? -I need something. 211 00:10:27,680 --> 00:10:30,400 Anything that looks like semen. OK? 212 00:10:30,440 --> 00:10:31,920 Something that looks like semen? 213 00:10:33,960 --> 00:10:35,640 {y:i}WOMAN.: {y:i}What is going on out there? 214 00:10:39,880 --> 00:10:41,240 Fuck! 215 00:10:42,280 --> 00:10:46,520 Eww. You are such a bad liar. 216 00:10:52,080 --> 00:10:55,400 -[Telephone ringing] -Hey, Duncan. 217 00:10:55,440 --> 00:10:58,240 -Thanks a lot, man. -What's up, Matt? 218 00:10:58,240 --> 00:11:00,320 -What's up, man? -Chris. 219 00:11:00,360 --> 00:11:02,840 Heard you tried to leave one in the chamber last night. 220 00:11:02,880 --> 00:11:05,520 -Where'd you hear that? -Internet. 221 00:11:05,560 --> 00:11:08,280 It's all on the internet nowadays, you know. 222 00:11:08,320 --> 00:11:09,840 This is an internet company. 223 00:11:09,880 --> 00:11:11,440 And Ryan has a big mouth, huh? 224 00:11:11,480 --> 00:11:14,240 -Morning, ladies. -Hmm. 225 00:11:16,600 --> 00:11:19,320 So, you in on the basketball pool or what? 226 00:11:19,360 --> 00:11:20,520 What's the line on that game anyway? 227 00:11:20,560 --> 00:11:23,520 I'll talk to the bagel guy when he gets here. 228 00:11:23,560 --> 00:11:25,840 What does the bagel guy have to do with this? 229 00:11:25,880 --> 00:11:28,600 The bagel guy knows everything. The dude's incredible. 230 00:11:28,640 --> 00:11:30,640 Then how come can't he get here on time with the bagels? 231 00:11:32,840 --> 00:11:35,320 -Appreciate it. -Is that what I think it is? 232 00:11:35,360 --> 00:11:37,520 -Don't worry. -Can I see it? 233 00:11:37,560 --> 00:11:41,880 {y:i}Hey. Dude, it's just been one {y:i}of those days, you know? 234 00:11:41,920 --> 00:11:43,440 "MATT.: Yes, I do". 235 00:11:43,480 --> 00:11:46,240 I got held up at this import- export place in Chinatown. 236 00:11:46,240 --> 00:11:48,160 Some party. 237 00:11:48,160 --> 00:11:50,280 -Golden Spear? -That's the one. 238 00:11:50,320 --> 00:11:52,800 Their mimosas they make there are strong. 239 00:11:52,840 --> 00:11:54,680 Go straight to your head. Blbbh. 240 00:11:56,320 --> 00:11:58,520 I used to know someone who worked there. 241 00:11:58,560 --> 00:12:00,440 You know Tatiana? 242 00:12:00,480 --> 00:12:02,080 Yeah, I know Tatiana. She's nice. 243 00:12:02,120 --> 00:12:03,360 No, she's not nice. She's hot. 244 00:12:03,400 --> 00:12:05,400 I'd hit that. And how about Merj? 245 00:12:05,440 --> 00:12:06,880 Yeah, I know Merj. 246 00:12:06,920 --> 00:12:09,280 And what about that really hot chick that got engaged? 247 00:12:09,320 --> 00:12:11,000 "That was funny". 248 00:12:11,040 --> 00:12:12,400 What really hot chick got engaged? 249 00:12:12,440 --> 00:12:16,440 The expediter chick. You know, real slinky. 250 00:12:16,480 --> 00:12:18,640 -What's her name? -Nicole? 251 00:12:18,680 --> 00:12:19,840 Nicole. That's it. 252 00:12:19,880 --> 00:12:21,760 Man, she knows the guy, like, two weeks. 253 00:12:21,800 --> 00:12:24,120 She goes to France, she comes back, she's engaged. 254 00:12:24,160 --> 00:12:26,400 Now, she is spontaneous combustion hot. 255 00:12:26,440 --> 00:12:29,440 -I would definitely hit that. -[Clanking] 256 00:12:29,480 --> 00:12:32,920 How do you know it's Nicole-- N-Nicole that got engaged? 257 00:12:32,960 --> 00:12:35,320 Dude, that's what the banner said at the party. 258 00:12:35,360 --> 00:12:37,360 ''Congratulations Nicole.'' 259 00:12:37,400 --> 00:12:39,120 Whew. I can't believe it... 260 00:12:39,160 --> 00:12:40,920 {y:i}because that girI, you can't "even Iook right at her". 261 00:12:40,960 --> 00:12:44,280 She's so hot you need one of those eclipse-watching things... 262 00:12:44,320 --> 00:12:47,000 just to look directly at her, she's so radiantly hot! 263 00:12:47,040 --> 00:12:49,560 It makes me want to just throw her down, you know... 264 00:12:49,600 --> 00:12:52,000 and just--[Bang] You know what I mean? 265 00:12:52,000 --> 00:12:53,760 Yeah. 266 00:12:53,800 --> 00:12:55,560 I'm glad we can connect on that. 267 00:12:58,280 --> 00:12:59,480 Later, pimp. 268 00:12:59,520 --> 00:13:01,880 -Later. -Rrr! 269 00:13:11,200 --> 00:13:13,600 Hey, Matt-- 270 00:13:13,640 --> 00:13:15,600 Matt? 271 00:13:15,640 --> 00:13:17,560 You--you all right? 272 00:13:34,920 --> 00:13:36,840 [Horn honks] 273 00:14:07,680 --> 00:14:09,680 -Unh! -Oh! Oh! 274 00:14:09,720 --> 00:14:12,800 -Oh, God. I am so sorry. -It's OK. It's OK. 275 00:14:12,840 --> 00:14:14,720 -Are you OK? -Yeah, I'm fine. 276 00:14:14,760 --> 00:14:18,000 Is there anything I can do to make it better? 277 00:14:18,040 --> 00:14:20,320 Um... 278 00:14:20,320 --> 00:14:21,880 anything? 279 00:14:22,080 --> 00:14:25,880 Again? Another girl already? 280 00:14:25,920 --> 00:14:29,960 -It's not even the weekend. -I know, I know. 281 00:14:30,000 --> 00:14:33,760 "She met someone". "NicoIe's getting married". 282 00:14:35,240 --> 00:14:37,600 I'm sorry. 283 00:14:37,600 --> 00:14:39,960 I mean, what can I do? 284 00:14:40,000 --> 00:14:43,440 -Tell me what I can do. -I don't know what to tell you. 285 00:14:43,480 --> 00:14:46,240 This isn't really a problem I know much about. 286 00:14:48,320 --> 00:14:49,880 Listen, isn't part of the priestly thing... 287 00:14:49,920 --> 00:14:52,000 giving relationship advice? 288 00:14:52,040 --> 00:14:54,400 Relationship advice, yes. 289 00:14:54,440 --> 00:14:56,480 Sex advice, no. 290 00:14:56,520 --> 00:14:59,120 Part of the priestly thing, and stop calling it that... 291 00:14:59,160 --> 00:15:00,480 is not to have sex, remember? 292 00:15:00,520 --> 00:15:02,880 It's funny. I didn't say a thing about sex. 293 00:15:02,880 --> 00:15:05,000 -Sure you did. -No, I didn't. 294 00:15:05,040 --> 00:15:07,840 I guess thinking about sex is part of the priestly thing. 295 00:15:07,840 --> 00:15:08,920 At least for some. 296 00:15:08,960 --> 00:15:11,840 -Get out. -Fine. 297 00:15:16,840 --> 00:15:21,120 -Good morning, Matt. -Morning, father. 298 00:15:21,160 --> 00:15:22,840 What's with the purple banners? 299 00:15:22,880 --> 00:15:25,560 Lent. Starts today. 300 00:15:25,600 --> 00:15:28,000 Going to be a long forty days this year. 301 00:15:28,040 --> 00:15:30,240 I'm giving up my one vice-- 302 00:15:30,280 --> 00:15:32,920 those precious little madeleine cookies... 303 00:15:32,960 --> 00:15:35,360 dipped in a starbucks mocha. 304 00:15:35,400 --> 00:15:39,440 It's so hard giving up what you love the most. 305 00:15:43,640 --> 00:15:46,480 I've got it! Jesus Christ, John, I've got an answer! 306 00:15:46,520 --> 00:15:47,760 And the question is? 307 00:15:47,800 --> 00:15:49,080 -Nicole. -Again? 308 00:15:49,120 --> 00:15:51,920 No sex for Lent-- for forty days. 309 00:15:51,960 --> 00:15:53,880 If I can do that, then everything will be OK. 310 00:15:53,920 --> 00:15:55,080 That isn't what Lent is. 311 00:15:55,120 --> 00:15:58,200 Lent is about sacrifice and growth through self-denial. 312 00:15:58,240 --> 00:15:59,320 Lent is to remember-- 313 00:15:59,360 --> 00:16:02,200 How Christ felt during the fast in the desert. 314 00:16:02,240 --> 00:16:03,920 I grew up in the same house as you, moron. 315 00:16:03,960 --> 00:16:06,240 But when it comes down to it, that's exactly what this is. 316 00:16:06,240 --> 00:16:08,320 This is growth, this is self-denial... 317 00:16:08,360 --> 00:16:11,440 and this is sacrifice. 318 00:16:11,480 --> 00:16:14,520 Dude! 319 00:16:14,560 --> 00:16:16,240 It's not that simple, Matt. Trust me. 320 00:16:16,280 --> 00:16:17,400 It is that... 321 00:16:19,600 --> 00:16:22,360 You're right. 322 00:16:22,400 --> 00:16:25,600 You're totally right. 323 00:16:25,600 --> 00:16:28,240 Sex alone is not enough. 324 00:16:28,280 --> 00:16:30,640 It has to be sex and all things sex-like. 325 00:16:30,680 --> 00:16:32,600 You'll never be able to do that. 326 00:16:32,640 --> 00:16:34,240 Just listen, here's the plan. 327 00:16:34,280 --> 00:16:36,920 One--no sex. 328 00:16:36,960 --> 00:16:39,640 Two-- no sexual intimacy of any kind. 329 00:16:39,680 --> 00:16:42,000 No nibbling, no biting, no scratching. 330 00:16:42,040 --> 00:16:45,600 "No sucking, no fondIing". "None of that". 331 00:16:45,640 --> 00:16:48,280 "And three"... 332 00:16:48,320 --> 00:16:50,720 no masturbation. 333 00:16:50,760 --> 00:16:52,640 You won't last a week. 334 00:16:52,640 --> 00:16:54,400 Oh, you're wrong, brother. 335 00:16:54,440 --> 00:16:56,720 I'm gonna go the distance. 336 00:16:58,240 --> 00:17:05,280 "MAN.:" // "Mmm" // 337 00:17:05,280 --> 00:17:07,080 // "Then I was grown" "to be a man" // 338 00:17:07,120 --> 00:17:08,720 {y:i}CHORUS.: // "Grown to be a man" // 339 00:17:08,760 --> 00:17:10,360 "MAN.:" // "And the deviI" "wouId caII my name" // 340 00:17:10,400 --> 00:17:12,120 {y:i}CHORUS.: // "Grown to be a man" // 341 00:17:12,160 --> 00:17:14,440 {y:i}MAN.: // "I said, ''Who do''"// 342 00:17:14,480 --> 00:17:16,920 // "''Who do you think" "you're fooIin'?''"// 343 00:17:16,960 --> 00:17:18,480 {y:i}CHORUS.: // "Grown to be a man" // 344 00:17:18,520 --> 00:17:21,400 "MAN.:" // "I can snatch" "a IittIe purity" // 345 00:17:21,440 --> 00:17:23,760 // "My mama Ioved me" // 346 00:17:23,800 --> 00:17:25,360 // "She Ioved me" // 347 00:17:25,400 --> 00:17:27,960 // "She got down on her knees" "and hugged me" // 348 00:17:28,000 --> 00:17:30,840 // "And she Ioved me" "Iike a rock" // 349 00:17:30,880 --> 00:17:32,240 // "Whoa, yeah" // 350 00:17:32,280 --> 00:17:36,560 // "Rocked me Iike the rock" "of ages and Ioved me" // 351 00:17:36,600 --> 00:17:38,840 // "She Ioved me, Ioved me," "Ioved me" // 352 00:17:38,880 --> 00:17:40,400 {y:i}CHORUS.: // "Loved me Iike a rock" // 353 00:17:40,440 --> 00:17:42,360 {y:i}MAN.: // "My mama Ioves me" // 354 00:17:42,400 --> 00:17:44,280 {y:i}CHORUS.: // "Loves me Iike a rock" // 355 00:17:44,320 --> 00:17:46,280 Your brother looks happy. 356 00:17:46,320 --> 00:17:48,960 He's just taken a vow of celibacy. 357 00:17:49,000 --> 00:17:50,920 Oh. 358 00:17:50,960 --> 00:17:52,320 Oh, dear. 359 00:17:52,320 --> 00:17:54,240 [Claps] 360 00:18:02,840 --> 00:18:05,760 // "Live, baby, Iive" // 361 00:18:05,800 --> 00:18:07,960 // "Now that the day is over" // 362 00:18:10,560 --> 00:18:13,200 // "I got a new sensation" // 363 00:18:14,400 --> 00:18:17,680 // "In perfect moments" // 364 00:18:17,720 --> 00:18:22,640 // "So impossibIe to refuse" // 365 00:18:26,880 --> 00:18:29,880 // "SIeep, baby, sIeep" // 366 00:18:29,920 --> 00:18:32,640 // "Now that the night is over" // 367 00:18:34,240 --> 00:18:37,920 // "And the sun comes" "Iike a God" // 368 00:18:37,920 --> 00:18:40,280 // "Into our room" // 369 00:18:40,320 --> 00:18:43,520 Whoo. Dude. 370 00:18:43,520 --> 00:18:45,440 // "AII perfect Iight" "and prom--" // 371 00:18:45,440 --> 00:18:46,720 [Music stops] 372 00:18:46,760 --> 00:18:47,840 Dude. 373 00:18:47,880 --> 00:18:49,280 What the fuck is that? 374 00:18:49,320 --> 00:18:52,880 This is a 1966 Karmann Ghia coupe. 375 00:18:52,920 --> 00:18:54,000 When I'm finished with that, I'm gonna do... 376 00:18:54,040 --> 00:18:56,920 {y:i}the Caterham super seven "cycIe-fender speciaI". 377 00:18:59,000 --> 00:19:01,800 We're going out tonight. There's this club-- 378 00:19:01,840 --> 00:19:03,360 Remember that Australian chick--Jennifer Moss? 379 00:19:03,400 --> 00:19:05,160 She's got friends visiting from Sydney. 380 00:19:05,200 --> 00:19:06,640 Can't. I have laundry. 381 00:19:06,680 --> 00:19:10,240 Do you know why they call it down under, Matt? 382 00:19:10,280 --> 00:19:11,960 I still can't. 383 00:19:12,000 --> 00:19:15,040 Do you realize how much time we waste thinking about girls? 384 00:19:16,600 --> 00:19:20,120 You want some alone time in the apartment for jerking off. 385 00:19:20,160 --> 00:19:22,080 That's cool. I can do that. That's cool. 386 00:19:22,120 --> 00:19:25,080 "I'II teII 'em you said hi". 387 00:19:25,280 --> 00:19:27,160 [Thunder] 388 00:20:02,760 --> 00:20:04,720 Ohh. 389 00:20:08,320 --> 00:20:09,600 Ahem. 390 00:20:09,640 --> 00:20:12,720 Do you have change for two dollars? 391 00:20:32,000 --> 00:20:33,760 Excuse me. I forgot something to read. 392 00:20:33,800 --> 00:20:35,480 Do you mind if I borrow this? 393 00:20:35,520 --> 00:20:37,640 Thanks. 394 00:20:44,120 --> 00:20:45,440 A lovers' rendezvous. 395 00:20:47,560 --> 00:20:50,880 You--you underline words that you don't know... 396 00:20:50,880 --> 00:20:51,960 and then look them up later? 397 00:20:52,000 --> 00:20:55,280 Right? And you underlined ''tryst''... 398 00:20:55,360 --> 00:20:57,960 which is a meeting of lovers. 399 00:21:00,480 --> 00:21:03,040 I do that, too, so... 400 00:21:12,800 --> 00:21:15,600 {y:i}Ahem. Matt? 401 00:21:15,640 --> 00:21:18,040 It was on the cover of the magazine. 402 00:21:18,080 --> 00:21:19,760 [Sighs] 403 00:21:19,800 --> 00:21:21,760 Can I borrow a sheet of fabric softener? 404 00:21:25,480 --> 00:21:26,800 Thanks. 405 00:21:30,360 --> 00:21:31,480 [Closes dryer] 406 00:21:38,240 --> 00:21:39,600 Ahem. 407 00:21:39,640 --> 00:21:42,600 It's been really fun almost chatting with you. 408 00:21:44,320 --> 00:21:45,560 Same time next week? 409 00:21:47,240 --> 00:21:49,640 OK. Bye. 410 00:21:58,040 --> 00:21:59,840 You are way ahead of schedule. 411 00:21:59,880 --> 00:22:02,720 If I were you, I'd give me something else to do quick. 412 00:22:02,720 --> 00:22:04,000 What about the Willow and Smart account? 413 00:22:04,040 --> 00:22:05,240 Think you can handle that? 414 00:22:05,280 --> 00:22:06,680 I know window treatments aren't the sexiest-- 415 00:22:06,720 --> 00:22:09,360 Oh, no, no. Doesn't bother me at all. 416 00:22:09,400 --> 00:22:12,120 Good. You'll be designing the entire webpage. 417 00:22:14,360 --> 00:22:15,480 OK. 418 00:22:21,640 --> 00:22:22,760 [Drops bag] 419 00:22:27,040 --> 00:22:29,400 "MATT.: Hey, Ryan". {y:i}What's happening? 420 00:22:29,440 --> 00:22:32,600 // "Turn off the Iights" // 421 00:22:34,000 --> 00:22:35,920 Do you know how many hours I spent... 422 00:22:35,960 --> 00:22:37,440 looking for my Temple of Poon tape? 423 00:22:37,480 --> 00:22:40,080 One. That's a long time to be looking for porn, Matt. 424 00:22:40,120 --> 00:22:41,560 What the fuck is going on here? 425 00:22:43,720 --> 00:22:46,160 One--you can't do it. 426 00:22:46,200 --> 00:22:48,800 You can't. This isn't a personal attack towards you. 427 00:22:48,840 --> 00:22:51,200 No man can do it. It goes against nature. 428 00:22:51,200 --> 00:22:54,040 The male was biologically designed to spread his seed. 429 00:22:54,080 --> 00:22:55,640 You're gonna piss off the seeds, man! 430 00:22:55,680 --> 00:22:57,880 You're gonna-- It goes against science! 431 00:22:57,920 --> 00:22:59,160 You want to be the guy who goes against science? 432 00:23:00,960 --> 00:23:02,240 And two? 433 00:23:02,280 --> 00:23:04,000 Two--are you out of your fucking mind? 434 00:23:04,040 --> 00:23:05,680 You're the guy who can't finish a sandwich! 435 00:23:05,720 --> 00:23:07,200 You think you can go forty days? 436 00:23:07,240 --> 00:23:10,200 Four--You-- This isn't normal! 437 00:23:12,640 --> 00:23:16,600 -[Sighs] -She got engaged, Ryan. 438 00:23:16,640 --> 00:23:19,720 Nicole got engaged. 439 00:23:19,760 --> 00:23:21,040 Well... 440 00:23:23,040 --> 00:23:26,680 I knew that. I knew that. I--I didn't tell you... 441 00:23:26,720 --> 00:23:27,800 just because I thought you'd get pissed off. 442 00:23:27,840 --> 00:23:28,920 I'm sorry. I should have told you. 443 00:23:28,960 --> 00:23:30,200 I had to hear it from the bagel guy! 444 00:23:30,240 --> 00:23:32,560 -Does that guy know everything? -You should have told me! 445 00:23:32,600 --> 00:23:34,320 I know that. I completely should have told you. 446 00:23:34,360 --> 00:23:37,480 I'm sorry. Just explain this to me, though, all right? 447 00:23:37,520 --> 00:23:42,040 Nicole gets engaged, you decide to take a vow of abstinence. 448 00:23:42,080 --> 00:23:44,440 Haven't you gotten to the point where you need to take a break? 449 00:23:44,480 --> 00:23:49,160 Yes! Look, Matt, I swear off girls once a week. 450 00:23:49,200 --> 00:23:51,120 Then, before you know it, it's morning. 451 00:23:51,160 --> 00:23:52,320 That's part of the game. 452 00:23:52,360 --> 00:23:54,680 Did your brother put you up to this or something? 453 00:23:54,720 --> 00:23:56,920 You know what? He's about as supportive as you are. 454 00:23:56,960 --> 00:23:59,680 What do you care anyway? This doesn't affect you in any way. 455 00:23:59,680 --> 00:24:01,720 [Sighs] 456 00:24:01,760 --> 00:24:04,280 You... 457 00:24:04,320 --> 00:24:06,560 This affects everyone. 458 00:24:06,600 --> 00:24:08,280 {y:i}CHRIS.: Right now, "the pot is at two hundred". 459 00:24:08,320 --> 00:24:10,840 {y:i}It's a minimum bet of $50 "a day, which goes into the pot". 460 00:24:10,880 --> 00:24:13,120 If your day's the day, you win the pot, less expenses... 461 00:24:13,120 --> 00:24:15,360 and a bottle of champagne. 462 00:24:15,400 --> 00:24:17,800 If more than one person bets on the winning day... 463 00:24:17,840 --> 00:24:19,480 they split the pot according to the percentage... 464 00:24:19,520 --> 00:24:22,240 of the day's total bets that have been placed. 465 00:24:22,280 --> 00:24:25,040 I go forty days without sex all the time. 466 00:24:25,080 --> 00:24:27,000 But, dude, you spank it. 467 00:24:27,040 --> 00:24:28,120 -No jerkin' off? -True. 468 00:24:28,160 --> 00:24:30,360 Yeah. That's why my money's on today. 469 00:24:30,400 --> 00:24:32,320 There are two things to bet on-- 470 00:24:32,360 --> 00:24:36,160 one-- will it be with some girl? 471 00:24:36,160 --> 00:24:42,360 Two--will it be some lonely night down the stretch? Pbbt. 472 00:24:42,400 --> 00:24:44,320 [Laughing] 473 00:24:44,320 --> 00:24:47,760 How will we know that, exactly? 474 00:24:47,800 --> 00:24:50,760 Well, I can't tell you everything... 475 00:24:50,800 --> 00:24:53,720 but I can tell you that there is somebody on the inside. 476 00:24:53,760 --> 00:24:55,200 Yep. Like Ryan. 477 00:24:55,240 --> 00:24:56,560 OK, so Matt doesn't know anything? 478 00:24:56,600 --> 00:24:59,000 No, no, no, no. 479 00:24:59,040 --> 00:25:02,520 That is very important--key. 480 00:25:02,720 --> 00:25:05,880 This is great. I mean, this is crazy great. 481 00:25:05,920 --> 00:25:09,520 Everything is so much simpler when there's no sex involved. 482 00:25:09,560 --> 00:25:12,320 I think this is the best thing that's ever happened to me. 483 00:25:12,360 --> 00:25:14,360 You're starting to feel it, aren't you? 484 00:25:14,400 --> 00:25:16,160 What? 485 00:25:16,200 --> 00:25:19,520 The abstinence--it's starting to get under your skin. 486 00:25:19,520 --> 00:25:22,960 No. Not at all. I'm fine. 487 00:25:23,000 --> 00:25:24,080 [Slides panel] 488 00:25:24,120 --> 00:25:27,640 You know what I gave up for Lent? 489 00:25:27,680 --> 00:25:31,480 Meat. Why don't you try something like that? 490 00:25:31,520 --> 00:25:33,680 Trust me. Celibacy takes years... 491 00:25:33,720 --> 00:25:35,800 of commitment, character, and discipline... 492 00:25:35,840 --> 00:25:38,200 which, quite frankly, are not your best traits. 493 00:25:38,240 --> 00:25:40,600 You think you're the only one with a little willpower? 494 00:25:40,640 --> 00:25:42,480 A little willpower? 495 00:25:42,520 --> 00:25:44,440 If you can do this, I can do this. 496 00:25:44,480 --> 00:25:46,800 You have no idea. 497 00:25:46,840 --> 00:25:48,200 What is so hard about forty days? 498 00:25:48,240 --> 00:25:49,360 "MANDY.: They're guys". 499 00:25:49,400 --> 00:25:52,160 To them, forty minutes is like an eternity. 500 00:25:52,160 --> 00:25:53,240 They're like animals. 501 00:25:53,280 --> 00:25:56,280 Their entire lives revolve around their penises. 502 00:25:56,320 --> 00:25:58,440 How many days do you think he'll last? 503 00:25:58,480 --> 00:26:02,240 Days? Mm-mmm, girl. Watch this. 504 00:26:02,240 --> 00:26:06,200 "MANDY.: [Laughs] Uh-oh". 505 00:26:06,240 --> 00:26:07,360 You are so bad. 506 00:26:09,440 --> 00:26:10,720 [Thwack] 507 00:26:19,080 --> 00:26:21,400 -Hi. -Hi. 508 00:26:22,920 --> 00:26:26,160 Did you, um, do these layouts? 509 00:26:26,200 --> 00:26:28,560 I helped on them, kind of. 510 00:26:31,520 --> 00:26:33,240 These are amazing. 511 00:26:33,280 --> 00:26:36,600 Thanks. 512 00:26:36,640 --> 00:26:41,040 You're like this totally amazing layout guy. 513 00:26:41,080 --> 00:26:44,160 Something's happening. Behind me. 514 00:26:44,200 --> 00:26:46,080 [Chair rattles] 515 00:26:47,040 --> 00:26:49,560 -OK, come here. -Oh, no. 516 00:26:51,320 --> 00:26:54,520 Hey, I have a big layout problem. 517 00:26:56,640 --> 00:26:58,800 You do? 518 00:26:58,840 --> 00:27:00,480 Can you keep a secret? 519 00:27:00,520 --> 00:27:02,520 Yeah. 520 00:27:05,560 --> 00:27:07,040 Oh, goodness. 521 00:27:08,360 --> 00:27:12,280 I have this tattoo of a butterfly... 522 00:27:12,320 --> 00:27:14,240 on the inside of my thigh. 523 00:27:14,280 --> 00:27:16,160 Yes, you do. Ahem. 524 00:27:16,200 --> 00:27:18,480 And I want to get something on the other side... 525 00:27:18,520 --> 00:27:21,360 but, um, I don't know what to get. 526 00:27:21,400 --> 00:27:24,280 {y:i}Any ideas? 527 00:27:24,320 --> 00:27:25,760 I don't know. 528 00:27:25,760 --> 00:27:27,800 "I was thinking about"... 529 00:27:27,840 --> 00:27:29,560 like a cute little pussycat or something. 530 00:27:29,600 --> 00:27:32,240 Do you like pussy...cats, Matt? 531 00:27:32,280 --> 00:27:33,760 Yeah. 532 00:27:33,800 --> 00:27:35,800 'Cause if you're not doing anything later... 533 00:27:35,840 --> 00:27:38,080 you should come over and help me pick one out. 534 00:27:38,120 --> 00:27:39,200 [Scratches] 535 00:27:39,240 --> 00:27:41,360 I can't. I mean, we can't... 536 00:27:41,400 --> 00:27:44,280 because pussycats are mean to butterflies. 537 00:27:44,320 --> 00:27:46,080 "They don't Iike them". "They disIike them very much"... 538 00:27:46,120 --> 00:27:47,760 and hit them with their paws... 539 00:27:47,800 --> 00:27:49,200 and it hurts the little butterfly. 540 00:27:49,240 --> 00:27:53,240 -Right. -Yeah. 541 00:27:53,280 --> 00:27:56,680 Well, OK, if you change your mind... 542 00:27:56,720 --> 00:27:59,320 [Copier hums] 543 00:27:59,360 --> 00:28:01,720 Did she just xerox her ass? 544 00:28:01,760 --> 00:28:04,280 -What? -Get off me! 545 00:28:04,320 --> 00:28:07,600 {y:i}Give me a caII, OK? 546 00:28:09,720 --> 00:28:11,360 -Ahem. -[Rattling] 547 00:28:11,400 --> 00:28:13,320 [Squeaking toy] 548 00:28:17,760 --> 00:28:20,400 This is a photocopy of Candy's ass? 549 00:28:21,920 --> 00:28:23,200 Yep. 550 00:28:23,240 --> 00:28:25,120 You're gonna call her, right? 551 00:28:27,080 --> 00:28:29,240 Obviously, you're gonna call her. 552 00:28:29,280 --> 00:28:32,600 No. I'm not gonna call her. 553 00:28:34,920 --> 00:28:38,680 Ha ha! As soon as you don't want it, they can smell it. 554 00:28:38,720 --> 00:28:42,040 She photocopied her ass. She photocopied her own ass. 555 00:28:42,080 --> 00:28:43,200 You're doing a lot of laundry lately. 556 00:28:43,240 --> 00:28:44,520 {y:i}Didn't you just do it {y:i}Iast week? 557 00:28:44,560 --> 00:28:46,400 Just keeping it clean. 558 00:28:49,720 --> 00:28:50,840 Who is she? 559 00:28:53,080 --> 00:28:54,680 Look, I'm not gonna sit in my room... 560 00:28:54,720 --> 00:28:56,280 and build models for the next forty days. 561 00:28:56,320 --> 00:28:59,600 -Oh, you like her! -It's--it's not that. 562 00:28:59,640 --> 00:29:01,280 No, no, no! Have a nice time. 563 00:29:01,600 --> 00:29:05,120 // "BasicaIIy probabiIity" // 564 00:29:05,160 --> 00:29:08,480 // "Says that things" "gonna start with me" // 565 00:29:08,480 --> 00:29:10,840 // "It's been so Iong" // 566 00:29:10,880 --> 00:29:13,400 // "On my sheIf" // 567 00:29:16,320 --> 00:29:21,120 // "Train comes," "I don't know its destination" // 568 00:29:21,160 --> 00:29:22,680 [Snaps fingers] 569 00:29:22,720 --> 00:29:28,440 // "It's a one-way ticket" "to a bad, bad situation" // 570 00:29:28,480 --> 00:29:30,080 Busted. 571 00:29:30,120 --> 00:29:33,040 // "Train comes," "I don't know--" // 572 00:29:33,080 --> 00:29:34,400 -Yeah. -[Turns music of"f]" 573 00:29:36,520 --> 00:29:38,800 I thought I should tell you I can speak just fine. 574 00:29:43,920 --> 00:29:45,280 They were all out of flowers. 575 00:29:45,280 --> 00:29:47,680 Yeah. That's cute. 576 00:29:47,720 --> 00:29:50,400 I'm Matt. Officially. 577 00:29:50,440 --> 00:29:51,920 Officially Matt. 578 00:29:51,960 --> 00:29:54,840 [Laughs] Officially Erica. 579 00:29:54,880 --> 00:29:56,280 Officially. 580 00:29:56,320 --> 00:29:58,520 So, you normally do your laundry on Friday nights? 581 00:29:58,560 --> 00:30:00,560 -Yeah. It's my new thing. -New thing? 582 00:30:00,600 --> 00:30:05,320 Well, there was a party... 583 00:30:05,360 --> 00:30:06,720 [Sighs] 584 00:30:06,720 --> 00:30:08,520 Don't you ever feel like you just keep meeting... 585 00:30:08,560 --> 00:30:11,200 the same exact people over and over? 586 00:30:11,240 --> 00:30:13,440 Like people that went to this kind of college... 587 00:30:13,480 --> 00:30:15,280 And now work that kind of job, right? 588 00:30:15,320 --> 00:30:16,440 Yeah. 589 00:30:18,560 --> 00:30:20,840 I want to have a party with a list at the door... 590 00:30:20,880 --> 00:30:22,720 of all my friends and friends of friends... 591 00:30:22,760 --> 00:30:24,680 and if you're on that list... 592 00:30:24,720 --> 00:30:26,160 or you know somebody on that list... 593 00:30:26,200 --> 00:30:27,840 then you cannot come in. 594 00:30:27,880 --> 00:30:29,400 [Laughs] 595 00:30:29,440 --> 00:30:32,960 How do you know I'm not on that list? 596 00:30:33,000 --> 00:30:35,000 Nobody on that list would have talked to me... 597 00:30:35,040 --> 00:30:36,600 like you did last week. 598 00:30:36,640 --> 00:30:38,320 Or not talked to me. 599 00:30:38,360 --> 00:30:40,240 [Laughs] Fair enough, fair enough. 600 00:30:43,640 --> 00:30:46,720 So, what do you do for laundry money? 601 00:30:46,760 --> 00:30:49,200 I'm a cyber nanny. 602 00:30:49,240 --> 00:30:51,680 What--what's that? 603 00:30:51,720 --> 00:30:54,240 I spend all day looking for pornography on the web. 604 00:30:54,280 --> 00:30:56,720 All right, say you have a ten-year-old kid... 605 00:30:56,760 --> 00:30:59,480 with an Imac and a browser, and she searches ''Girlfriends''... 606 00:30:59,520 --> 00:31:01,840 and then gets lesbian mud wrestling. 607 00:31:01,880 --> 00:31:04,920 -Probably not the best thing. -But you can't avoid it. 608 00:31:04,960 --> 00:31:06,720 Like today, I ran a search for ''sandbox''... 609 00:31:06,760 --> 00:31:08,920 and got ''eat my box''... 610 00:31:08,960 --> 00:31:11,120 ''Sandy's hot box''... 611 00:31:11,160 --> 00:31:13,760 and my favorite, ''vagina beach.'' 612 00:31:13,800 --> 00:31:19,200 My job is to find the site and block it out. 613 00:31:19,240 --> 00:31:22,360 So, you have to look at these sex sites all day long? 614 00:31:22,400 --> 00:31:24,320 Yeah. All day. 615 00:31:26,200 --> 00:31:27,360 Drive you crazy after a while? 616 00:31:27,400 --> 00:31:28,880 Yeah. Some days I think... 617 00:31:28,920 --> 00:31:30,840 that if I have to look at another blowjob I'll scream. 618 00:31:30,880 --> 00:31:34,640 God, yes. Same thing happens to me. 619 00:31:34,720 --> 00:31:36,400 [Laughs] 620 00:31:36,440 --> 00:31:38,720 [Laughs] 621 00:31:38,760 --> 00:31:39,040 What, you're going on a date with her? 622 00:31:39,040 --> 00:31:40,480 What, you're going on a date with her? 623 00:31:40,520 --> 00:31:43,160 Isn't that kind of getting in the way of your thing? 624 00:31:43,200 --> 00:31:46,320 -No, not at all. -So you're not into her? 625 00:31:46,360 --> 00:31:47,720 Oh, I'm totally into her. 626 00:31:47,760 --> 00:31:49,080 So how can you not want to fuck her? 627 00:31:49,120 --> 00:31:50,840 Listen, you haven't heard a word I said. 628 00:31:50,880 --> 00:31:54,560 It's perfect the way it is, and she's amazing... 629 00:31:54,600 --> 00:31:55,800 and we are totally connecting... 630 00:31:55,840 --> 00:31:58,720 and it's not a sexual thing, not for either of us. 631 00:31:58,760 --> 00:32:01,280 Dude, you've got to tell her. Seriously. 632 00:32:01,320 --> 00:32:03,640 You can pass off two dates without a kiss as old-fashioned. 633 00:32:03,680 --> 00:32:04,920 You go three, and you're a homo. 634 00:32:06,400 --> 00:32:08,920 Yeah, yeah, I can see that. 635 00:32:08,960 --> 00:32:11,320 Just got off the phone with the guy. 636 00:32:11,360 --> 00:32:14,160 There's a preliminary report-- a date happening on Thursday. 637 00:32:14,200 --> 00:32:16,920 -What? Different girl? -Same girl. Different date. 638 00:32:16,960 --> 00:32:21,240 "He is taking her on"..."the bus". 639 00:32:22,760 --> 00:32:24,360 On the bus where? 640 00:32:25,640 --> 00:32:29,400 Nowhere. That's the point. 641 00:32:29,440 --> 00:32:32,600 He just gets on the bus and goes around. 642 00:32:32,640 --> 00:32:34,880 Mmm. 643 00:32:37,160 --> 00:32:38,240 If you want to get laid... 644 00:32:38,280 --> 00:32:40,320 you take a chick to a fancy restaurant. 645 00:32:40,360 --> 00:32:41,840 But if you really like her... 646 00:32:41,880 --> 00:32:43,400 you take her to your secret place. 647 00:32:43,440 --> 00:32:44,920 That's the bus for Matt. 648 00:32:44,960 --> 00:32:47,160 Yeah. Mine's the post office. 649 00:32:47,200 --> 00:32:49,200 I don't understand. So he's gonna get laid? 650 00:32:49,240 --> 00:32:50,840 -Why ask me questions? -I'll take Thursday. 651 00:32:50,880 --> 00:32:53,120 I like to take girls there, and I say, ''Let's go postal.'' 652 00:32:53,160 --> 00:32:54,840 -Shut up! -Shut up! 653 00:32:59,680 --> 00:33:01,400 Are you gonna be OK with this guy? 654 00:33:01,440 --> 00:33:02,880 Yeah. He's great. 655 00:33:02,920 --> 00:33:06,360 -I'll be waiting up for you. -No, you won't. 656 00:33:06,400 --> 00:33:07,480 Oh, really? 657 00:33:07,520 --> 00:33:09,280 If I bring this guy home tonight... 658 00:33:09,320 --> 00:33:11,560 you better make yourself scarce, and I'm not joking, Sam. 659 00:33:11,600 --> 00:33:14,400 -OK. Bye. -Bye. 660 00:33:19,040 --> 00:33:20,520 [Bump] 661 00:33:20,560 --> 00:33:24,200 // "I remember when I found out" "about chemistry" // 662 00:33:24,240 --> 00:33:27,160 // "It was a Iong, Iong way" "from here" // 663 00:33:27,200 --> 00:33:29,400 // "I was oId enough" "to want it" // 664 00:33:29,440 --> 00:33:31,960 // "But younger" "than I wanted to be" // 665 00:33:32,000 --> 00:33:35,320 // "SuddenIy," "my mission was cIear" // 666 00:33:35,360 --> 00:33:39,280 // "So for a whiIe" "I conducted experiments" // 667 00:33:39,320 --> 00:33:42,440 // "And I was amazed" "by the things I Iearned" // 668 00:33:42,480 --> 00:33:45,080 // "From the fiine, fiine girIs" // 669 00:33:45,120 --> 00:33:46,840 // "Nothing but" "good intentions" // 670 00:33:46,880 --> 00:33:51,200 // "And a bad tendency" "to get burned" // 671 00:33:51,240 --> 00:33:55,040 // "Ahh, aII about chemistry" // 672 00:33:55,080 --> 00:33:58,680 // "Won't you show me" "everything you know?" // 673 00:33:58,720 --> 00:34:02,040 // "Ahh," "wonder what you'd do to me" // 674 00:34:02,080 --> 00:34:04,440 -There you go! -Ha! All right! 675 00:34:04,480 --> 00:34:06,360 Hmm. Told you. 676 00:34:06,400 --> 00:34:08,280 So, did any other guys ever take you on a bus? 677 00:34:08,320 --> 00:34:10,600 Well, there... 678 00:34:10,640 --> 00:34:14,040 there was a guy who got us kicked off a bus... 679 00:34:14,080 --> 00:34:16,320 and another guy who tried to steal a bus... 680 00:34:16,360 --> 00:34:19,200 and then the most recent guy I dated... 681 00:34:19,200 --> 00:34:23,160 went through a phase where he actually thought he was a bus. 682 00:34:25,760 --> 00:34:28,120 Where do you find guys like that? 683 00:34:28,160 --> 00:34:31,680 I don't. I don't. They just... 684 00:34:31,720 --> 00:34:33,080 They always find me. 685 00:34:33,120 --> 00:34:34,760 "They aIways fiind me". 686 00:34:34,800 --> 00:34:35,960 [Brakes hiss] 687 00:34:36,000 --> 00:34:38,640 What about you? Any criminal records, addictions... 688 00:34:38,680 --> 00:34:40,560 or weird little secrets I should know about right now? 689 00:34:40,600 --> 00:34:42,840 No. 690 00:34:42,880 --> 00:34:46,360 Yeah. I didn't think so. 691 00:34:58,000 --> 00:34:59,960 {y:i}ERICA.: You're pretty up-front "about yourseIf". 692 00:35:00,000 --> 00:35:03,160 I have no reason not to be honest, I guess. 693 00:35:03,200 --> 00:35:06,080 Yeah. It always catches up to you if you're not. 694 00:35:06,080 --> 00:35:08,080 Yeah. That's the way it is with me. 695 00:35:08,120 --> 00:35:09,880 I mean, was with me. 696 00:35:09,920 --> 00:35:14,320 Back in my more youthful, wasted, younger days. 697 00:35:14,360 --> 00:35:16,160 Ahem. This is me. 698 00:35:18,680 --> 00:35:21,440 I've never had so much fun on a bus before. 699 00:35:22,840 --> 00:35:23,960 Me, too. 700 00:35:26,560 --> 00:35:28,440 [Laughs] 701 00:35:31,840 --> 00:35:33,720 [Sighs] 702 00:35:38,760 --> 00:35:40,800 Good night. 703 00:35:42,880 --> 00:35:45,040 Good night. 704 00:35:45,080 --> 00:35:48,080 I'll--Unh! Whoa! Aah! 705 00:35:48,120 --> 00:35:52,120 -Ow. -W-watch that. 706 00:35:52,160 --> 00:35:55,480 -I'll talk to you soon, OK? -OK. 707 00:35:55,520 --> 00:35:57,560 Very soon. Like tomorrow. I'll give you a call. 708 00:35:57,600 --> 00:36:00,000 -Great. -Bye! 709 00:36:00,000 --> 00:36:01,840 Bye. 710 00:36:03,800 --> 00:36:09,160 -Like, a high five? -No. More like a ''Gimme five.'' 711 00:36:09,200 --> 00:36:11,240 He's got a girlfriend. 712 00:36:11,280 --> 00:36:13,760 Some guys are just different about this stuff, you know. 713 00:36:13,800 --> 00:36:17,960 Mm-hmm. Gay is different to some people. 714 00:36:18,000 --> 00:36:21,040 Well, I trust him. That means a lot. 715 00:36:21,080 --> 00:36:23,240 Is this anything like the last guy you trusted... 716 00:36:23,280 --> 00:36:26,240 who stole half your jewelry and sold it on eBay? 717 00:36:26,280 --> 00:36:29,320 Apparently, speed is a very expensive drug, Sam. 718 00:36:29,360 --> 00:36:31,160 Dude, you are so gone. 719 00:36:31,200 --> 00:36:33,240 No, I love hanging out with him. He's amazing. 720 00:36:33,280 --> 00:36:35,680 I'm treated like an equal, and we're connecting-- 721 00:36:35,680 --> 00:36:37,720 -It sucks, doesn't it? -Yeah, it does. 722 00:36:37,760 --> 00:36:39,560 It totally sucks. 723 00:36:39,600 --> 00:36:41,120 Why doesn't he just want to have sex with me? 724 00:36:41,600 --> 00:36:43,480 So, how did it go last night, champ? 725 00:36:43,520 --> 00:36:45,080 What? 726 00:36:45,120 --> 00:36:47,320 With your date. Did you hit that or what? 727 00:36:47,360 --> 00:36:48,600 What--what-- 728 00:36:49,880 --> 00:36:51,960 -[Coughs] -What are you talking about? 729 00:36:52,000 --> 00:36:54,880 [Coughs] Nothing. Whoo. That was weird. 730 00:36:54,920 --> 00:36:56,920 No more drugs pour moi. 731 00:36:59,040 --> 00:37:00,880 What the fuck is going on? 732 00:37:02,680 --> 00:37:03,800 [Wolf whistle] 733 00:37:03,840 --> 00:37:05,040 [Clank] 734 00:37:05,080 --> 00:37:07,000 {y:i}MATT.: You guys put up {y:i}a web page about me? 735 00:37:07,040 --> 00:37:09,520 "CHRIS.: Web page? PIease". "Be more insuIting, man". 736 00:37:09,560 --> 00:37:12,280 This is a complicated betting pool. 737 00:37:12,320 --> 00:37:13,400 [Train honking] 738 00:37:13,440 --> 00:37:14,520 You guys can't make this public. 739 00:37:14,560 --> 00:37:18,840 This is not something that I want everyone to know about. 740 00:37:18,880 --> 00:37:20,760 It's a little too late, dude. 741 00:37:20,800 --> 00:37:25,400 Today's bets. Originally, the spread favored day 26... 742 00:37:25,440 --> 00:37:27,840 {y:i}but with aII the dating action "in MattIand these days"... 743 00:37:27,880 --> 00:37:29,880 "I'm gonna recommend day 23". 744 00:37:29,920 --> 00:37:31,040 [Ka-ching] 745 00:37:31,080 --> 00:37:32,400 {y:i}CHRIS.: Someone just pIaced "another bet". 746 00:37:32,440 --> 00:37:35,280 I had one come in all the way from Bangladesh. 747 00:37:35,320 --> 00:37:38,640 Little Haji just loves to roll the dice. 748 00:37:38,720 --> 00:37:40,480 You guys have advertisers? 749 00:37:40,520 --> 00:37:44,000 A friend of mine started up a business... 750 00:37:44,040 --> 00:37:45,840 and I gave him a good price. 751 00:37:45,880 --> 00:37:47,360 A porn site! 752 00:37:50,000 --> 00:37:51,480 Oh, shit! 753 00:37:59,760 --> 00:38:02,120 // "You feII down" // 754 00:38:02,160 --> 00:38:05,960 // "Dropped it in water" // 755 00:38:06,000 --> 00:38:08,320 Hey! You know where Erica Sutton is? 756 00:38:08,360 --> 00:38:10,280 -Yeah. She's... -Where? 757 00:38:10,320 --> 00:38:12,920 You're that guy. The abstinence guy. 758 00:38:12,960 --> 00:38:14,680 Hey, it's the abstinence guy! 759 00:38:14,720 --> 00:38:17,120 [Men laughing] 760 00:38:22,280 --> 00:38:24,200 What is this, some kind of a bet not to sleep with me? 761 00:38:24,240 --> 00:38:25,960 No, this isn't a bet. Let me explain. 762 00:38:26,000 --> 00:38:27,640 Don't explain. You don't have to. 763 00:38:27,680 --> 00:38:31,120 I just read about it over the fucking internet. 764 00:38:31,160 --> 00:38:34,120 Erica! Erica, I should have told you about this. 765 00:38:34,160 --> 00:38:36,280 I thought you'd think I was a freak. I'm sorry. 766 00:38:36,320 --> 00:38:38,520 I can't believe the load of bullshit that you fed to me... 767 00:38:38,560 --> 00:38:39,640 about telling the damn truth. 768 00:38:39,680 --> 00:38:42,360 I--I did this for myself. 769 00:38:42,400 --> 00:38:45,040 I didn't think anybody else knew about it. I swear to God. 770 00:38:45,080 --> 00:38:47,680 Plus, if I told you, you'd think I was a sex addict. 771 00:38:47,720 --> 00:38:48,880 -Are you? -No! 772 00:38:48,920 --> 00:38:50,320 Then what is the point? 773 00:38:50,400 --> 00:38:52,320 What is the point of this whole thing? 774 00:38:52,360 --> 00:38:55,480 I just wanted to see what it would be like... 775 00:38:55,520 --> 00:38:57,520 without all the shit that sex brings to the picture. 776 00:38:57,560 --> 00:38:59,720 Oh, so I'm like some science experiment? 777 00:38:59,760 --> 00:39:02,880 No! I--Look, I was going through a really rough time... 778 00:39:02,920 --> 00:39:04,560 and I just wanted to stop. 779 00:39:04,600 --> 00:39:06,480 I wanted to stop thinking about sex. 780 00:39:06,560 --> 00:39:08,040 Not that I was thinking about sex all the time... 781 00:39:08,080 --> 00:39:11,400 I just wanted to stop. 782 00:39:11,440 --> 00:39:15,080 And the thing is, it's working. It's really working. 783 00:39:15,120 --> 00:39:17,080 I'm glad it's working for one of us. 784 00:39:19,120 --> 00:39:20,760 [Matt sighs] 785 00:39:23,320 --> 00:39:26,920 You stupid, stupid, silly little person! 786 00:39:26,960 --> 00:39:29,120 Why did you have to go and tell everyone? 787 00:39:29,160 --> 00:39:31,920 Look, if you're so ashamed, maybe you shouldn't be doing it. 788 00:39:31,960 --> 00:39:34,960 I'm not ashamed! I'm embarrassed! 789 00:39:35,000 --> 00:39:37,440 Then quit, Matt. Just quit. 790 00:39:37,480 --> 00:39:39,360 Nobody thinks you'll finish this thing. 791 00:39:39,360 --> 00:39:40,800 I'm not fucking quitting. 792 00:39:40,840 --> 00:39:45,680 Everything was going great until you had to... 793 00:39:45,720 --> 00:39:47,840 I stopped having sex... 794 00:39:47,880 --> 00:39:49,720 I'm totally falling for Erica... 795 00:39:49,760 --> 00:39:52,000 and I'm finally over Nicole. 796 00:39:52,040 --> 00:39:53,120 You really think you're over her? 797 00:39:53,160 --> 00:39:55,800 Fuck, yeah! Bitch. 798 00:39:55,840 --> 00:40:00,160 Hmm. I ran into her and her fiancé last night. 799 00:40:05,920 --> 00:40:08,080 What was he like? 800 00:40:09,760 --> 00:40:12,360 He--he parties with a friend of mine. 801 00:40:12,400 --> 00:40:14,200 Apparently, the dude works late every night. 802 00:40:14,240 --> 00:40:15,280 That's what I heard. 803 00:40:17,280 --> 00:40:18,360 So? 804 00:40:18,400 --> 00:40:21,600 He works late every night-- a different girl every night. 805 00:40:21,640 --> 00:40:23,360 Not that it should matter to you. 806 00:40:23,400 --> 00:40:25,400 No. Why would it matter to me? 807 00:40:25,440 --> 00:40:27,120 Yeah. 808 00:40:31,520 --> 00:40:33,920 {y:i}JERRY.: My wife and I have "been married for eight years". 809 00:40:33,960 --> 00:40:36,760 I love her very much. 810 00:40:36,800 --> 00:40:41,040 I...consider myself a lucky person. 811 00:40:41,080 --> 00:40:43,360 "That being said"... 812 00:40:43,400 --> 00:40:45,200 "this woman"... 813 00:40:45,240 --> 00:40:49,320 does not put out at all. 814 00:40:49,360 --> 00:40:51,280 I mean, at all. 815 00:40:51,320 --> 00:40:53,600 {y:i}I mean, we used to have sex "everywhere". 816 00:40:53,640 --> 00:40:56,240 We used to have sex in this office. 817 00:40:56,280 --> 00:41:00,280 We had sex on this floor. We had sex on this desk. 818 00:41:00,320 --> 00:41:03,520 -On that chair. -OK. I get it, I get it. 819 00:41:03,560 --> 00:41:05,720 But now, I have to practically beg for it. 820 00:41:05,760 --> 00:41:09,400 I mean, it was kind of hot for the first eight months. 821 00:41:09,440 --> 00:41:11,440 The chasing after her... 822 00:41:11,480 --> 00:41:15,440 surprising her with my sexy new underwear. 823 00:41:15,480 --> 00:41:20,120 {y:i}But now, "I feeI a IittIe Iike a"... 824 00:41:20,160 --> 00:41:22,400 like I'm a pervert. 825 00:41:24,600 --> 00:41:27,040 I heard about the vow... 826 00:41:27,080 --> 00:41:28,960 and I think it's genius. 827 00:41:29,000 --> 00:41:30,920 Thanks. 828 00:41:30,960 --> 00:41:32,400 {y:i}I mean, this is "the perfect way for me"... 829 00:41:32,440 --> 00:41:35,040 to regain the power in my relationship. 830 00:41:35,080 --> 00:41:36,480 See, I take the vow. 831 00:41:36,520 --> 00:41:40,120 I tell her I'm gonna do without for a few months. 832 00:41:40,160 --> 00:41:43,480 I bet in half the time she's going to be begging for it. 833 00:41:43,520 --> 00:41:44,760 Don't you think? What do you think? 834 00:41:44,800 --> 00:41:48,560 I think you don't know what you're getting yourself into. 835 00:41:53,360 --> 00:41:56,680 Hey, put that away. Books get you in trouble around here. 836 00:41:56,720 --> 00:41:59,320 -I can't work right now. -So go home. 837 00:41:59,360 --> 00:42:02,680 -I need the money. -So work. 838 00:42:02,720 --> 00:42:04,880 It all reminds me of Matt. 839 00:42:04,920 --> 00:42:08,640 Even ''donkey lovers''? 840 00:42:11,240 --> 00:42:13,720 Call him or leave. You're bugging me. 841 00:42:13,760 --> 00:42:15,400 [Sighs] 842 00:42:15,440 --> 00:42:18,680 // "A strange condition" // 843 00:42:18,720 --> 00:42:22,280 // "A daiIy prison" // 844 00:42:22,320 --> 00:42:24,720 // "You've got me" "out of my head" // 845 00:42:24,760 --> 00:42:29,280 // "And I don't know" "what I came for" // 846 00:42:31,560 --> 00:42:34,680 // "Send me money, baby" // 847 00:42:34,720 --> 00:42:38,400 // "Do not Ieave out a wage" // 848 00:42:38,440 --> 00:42:41,640 // "You know" "you're the best thing" // 849 00:42:41,680 --> 00:42:44,560 // "In the corner" "of this pIace" // 850 00:42:44,600 --> 00:42:48,240 // "And I want you to know" // 851 00:42:48,280 --> 00:42:50,840 -How's the chicken? -Good. 852 00:42:53,920 --> 00:42:58,160 // "This strange condition" // 853 00:42:58,200 --> 00:43:00,080 Why is this so weird? 854 00:43:00,160 --> 00:43:02,400 Ahem. 855 00:43:02,440 --> 00:43:04,440 If I told you, ''Don't think about the color red...'' 856 00:43:04,480 --> 00:43:05,600 what would you think about? 857 00:43:07,400 --> 00:43:08,480 Sex. 858 00:43:08,520 --> 00:43:10,040 [Laughs] 859 00:43:10,080 --> 00:43:12,000 OK, so we're both sitting here thinking about sex... 860 00:43:12,040 --> 00:43:13,520 because we can't think about sex... 861 00:43:13,560 --> 00:43:14,960 {y:i}because "we can't taIk about sex"... 862 00:43:15,040 --> 00:43:17,880 and we certainly cannot have sex. 863 00:43:17,920 --> 00:43:21,280 It's like, so what are we doing here? 864 00:43:21,320 --> 00:43:23,880 You know, if I didn't have this vow thing... 865 00:43:23,920 --> 00:43:25,680 I'd kiss you right now. 866 00:43:30,080 --> 00:43:33,200 [Both sigh] 867 00:43:33,240 --> 00:43:35,920 -Thanks. -Thanks. 868 00:43:44,440 --> 00:43:46,440 [Coughing] 869 00:43:46,480 --> 00:43:47,800 You OK? 870 00:43:47,840 --> 00:43:50,000 [Coughs] I'm fine. 871 00:43:50,040 --> 00:43:52,440 -Are you sure? -I'll be right back. 872 00:43:52,480 --> 00:43:55,280 -Are you-- -Yeah. 873 00:44:02,400 --> 00:44:04,600 [Coughs] 874 00:44:04,640 --> 00:44:05,920 [Whoosh] 875 00:44:05,960 --> 00:44:07,360 Sir! Sir! 876 00:44:07,360 --> 00:44:08,560 [Yelling] 877 00:44:08,600 --> 00:44:11,360 Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! 878 00:44:11,400 --> 00:44:13,200 Aah! 879 00:44:13,240 --> 00:44:17,000 -[Man laughs] -Aah! Aah! 880 00:44:17,040 --> 00:44:21,080 Oh! Aah! I'm OK. 881 00:44:21,120 --> 00:44:23,040 [Laughing and clapping] 882 00:44:23,080 --> 00:44:25,520 Thank you. Thank you. I'm OK. Thank you. 883 00:44:25,560 --> 00:44:26,680 -Matt. -I'm OK. 884 00:44:28,800 --> 00:44:30,360 Hi. 885 00:44:30,400 --> 00:44:32,760 Nicole. How are you? 886 00:44:32,800 --> 00:44:36,280 Well, better than you at the moment. 887 00:44:36,320 --> 00:44:39,760 -[Laughs] -Yeah. Yeah. 888 00:44:41,280 --> 00:44:44,680 This is, um, this is... 889 00:44:44,720 --> 00:44:46,080 This is Erica. 890 00:44:46,120 --> 00:44:47,800 Nicole. 891 00:44:47,840 --> 00:44:51,600 David Brokaw. Hi. 892 00:44:51,680 --> 00:44:54,240 I'm Matt. I'm Matt. 893 00:44:54,280 --> 00:44:57,280 "Oh, yes. Yes, of course". 894 00:44:57,320 --> 00:45:00,760 Matt, you work at one of those dot coms, don't you? 895 00:45:00,800 --> 00:45:02,720 Yes. Yes, I do. 896 00:45:02,760 --> 00:45:06,880 David's the youngest executive vice president... 897 00:45:06,920 --> 00:45:08,800 at Morgan Stanley. 898 00:45:08,800 --> 00:45:10,720 Yeah, well, I'm the youngest-- 899 00:45:10,720 --> 00:45:11,800 {y:i}Yeah, hey, "It's aII good, Matt". 900 00:45:11,840 --> 00:45:15,600 Listen, honey, you want to give it one more try? 901 00:45:15,640 --> 00:45:16,760 It's good to see you. 902 00:45:16,800 --> 00:45:18,520 Yeah, you, too. 903 00:45:21,960 --> 00:45:23,080 Bye. 904 00:45:28,920 --> 00:45:31,160 She's the real reason you took that vow. 905 00:45:33,200 --> 00:45:35,600 [Sighs] No. She's just an ex. 906 00:45:37,400 --> 00:45:39,640 The vow is something completely separate from her. 907 00:45:39,680 --> 00:45:42,200 You're a really bad liar. 908 00:45:42,240 --> 00:45:43,960 I get that a lot. 909 00:45:46,080 --> 00:45:47,280 Look, I know I should've told you about her. 910 00:45:47,320 --> 00:45:48,440 Yeah, you should've. 911 00:45:48,480 --> 00:45:50,240 But I guess it's hard for you to get the truth out. 912 00:45:55,600 --> 00:45:56,880 Shit. 913 00:45:59,680 --> 00:46:02,000 Hey, how about I quit the vow? 914 00:46:02,040 --> 00:46:03,960 I mean, honestly, I don't care about the vow. 915 00:46:04,000 --> 00:46:05,600 Oh, sure, now St. Matt wants a piece. 916 00:46:05,640 --> 00:46:08,120 -No, that's not it at all. -You don't want me? 917 00:46:08,160 --> 00:46:10,800 No, of course I want you. It's just-- 918 00:46:10,840 --> 00:46:13,400 [Sighs] 919 00:46:13,440 --> 00:46:15,800 I care about the vow, and-- 920 00:46:15,840 --> 00:46:18,360 -You do? -Yeah, I do. 921 00:46:18,400 --> 00:46:21,040 And her? 922 00:46:23,200 --> 00:46:24,320 I don't know. 923 00:46:29,040 --> 00:46:30,760 [Sighs] 924 00:46:31,720 --> 00:46:34,360 I'll tell you what. You want me? 925 00:46:34,400 --> 00:46:35,840 Yeah. 926 00:46:35,880 --> 00:46:37,880 Then finish your stupid vow. 927 00:46:37,920 --> 00:46:39,000 And if you finish it... 928 00:46:39,040 --> 00:46:41,600 then maybe we can talk about being together. Maybe. 929 00:46:48,560 --> 00:46:50,640 [Engine starts] 930 00:46:55,520 --> 00:46:58,760 I've given up sex, because I just... 931 00:46:58,800 --> 00:47:01,520 I just want to connect with people on a deeper level. 932 00:47:01,560 --> 00:47:02,800 -Really? -Yeah. 933 00:47:02,840 --> 00:47:03,920 Is it working? 934 00:47:03,960 --> 00:47:06,280 Working? Of course it's working! 935 00:47:06,320 --> 00:47:10,320 It's like this incredible high. Can you not feel that? 936 00:47:10,360 --> 00:47:12,760 Just sitting here talking with you... 937 00:47:12,800 --> 00:47:15,320 I'm mind orgasmic right now. 938 00:47:15,360 --> 00:47:17,760 Mind orgasmic. 939 00:47:17,800 --> 00:47:20,240 Yeah. 940 00:47:20,280 --> 00:47:22,520 Hmm. 941 00:47:25,480 --> 00:47:27,400 [Ryan and woman moaning] 942 00:47:30,440 --> 00:47:31,880 {y:i}RYAN.: Oh, GodI OhhI 943 00:47:31,920 --> 00:47:35,000 [Both moaning] 944 00:47:54,720 --> 00:47:55,800 We need to talk. 945 00:47:55,840 --> 00:47:57,080 I can't. I gotta go. 946 00:47:57,120 --> 00:47:59,800 I--I understand what you're doing, Matt. 947 00:47:59,840 --> 00:48:01,400 -You do? -Mm-hmm. 948 00:48:01,440 --> 00:48:04,640 Women have been doing this since, well, forever... 949 00:48:04,680 --> 00:48:06,680 so we know all about the power. 950 00:48:06,720 --> 00:48:08,920 See, us having the power, that's part of the system... 951 00:48:08,960 --> 00:48:11,480 and by you taking the power, you're fucking with the system. 952 00:48:11,520 --> 00:48:14,960 And I think you see why we can't let that happen. 953 00:48:15,000 --> 00:48:17,440 You bet on today. This is about money. 954 00:48:17,480 --> 00:48:20,360 Ah-ah. Signed and notarized commitment... 955 00:48:20,400 --> 00:48:22,320 to donate all proceeds to charity. 956 00:48:22,400 --> 00:48:26,400 So you want to have sex with me to regain ''the power''? 957 00:48:26,440 --> 00:48:29,600 We're willing to do whatever is necessary... 958 00:48:29,640 --> 00:48:31,120 to get the job done. 959 00:48:31,160 --> 00:48:33,760 Why do you keep saying ''we''? 960 00:48:37,000 --> 00:48:38,520 Oh, fuck. 961 00:48:38,560 --> 00:48:42,240 Now, we think that this offer is more than fair. 962 00:48:42,280 --> 00:48:45,120 Can I talk to you for a second? 963 00:48:45,120 --> 00:48:48,080 -Excuse me. What? -I don't think I can do this. 964 00:48:48,120 --> 00:48:50,000 Andie, we talked about this already, OK? 965 00:48:50,040 --> 00:48:51,520 I know, but just look at him. 966 00:48:51,560 --> 00:48:52,960 I mean, he used to be kind of cute... 967 00:48:52,960 --> 00:48:55,480 but now he's just twitchy. 968 00:48:55,520 --> 00:48:59,040 Shh. It'll be over in, like, two seconds, OK? 969 00:48:59,080 --> 00:49:01,440 Would you care to join us, hmm? 970 00:49:02,600 --> 00:49:04,920 Mmm. 971 00:49:04,960 --> 00:49:07,200 Oh, God. Not the tongues. 972 00:49:08,600 --> 00:49:10,760 Oh, my God. I gotta go. 973 00:49:16,840 --> 00:49:18,520 Yesterday was fine. 974 00:49:18,560 --> 00:49:21,400 I mean, physically speaking, I was fine. 975 00:49:21,440 --> 00:49:25,040 But today...I'm not fine. 976 00:49:25,080 --> 00:49:26,400 This morning at the coffee shop... 977 00:49:26,440 --> 00:49:28,920 they were sponsoring hot women wearing no bras day. 978 00:49:28,960 --> 00:49:30,240 [Slam] 979 00:49:32,600 --> 00:49:33,680 Whoo. 980 00:49:33,720 --> 00:49:35,040 Hot, hot women wearing no bras? 981 00:49:35,080 --> 00:49:36,960 I mean, like hot, hot women. 982 00:49:36,960 --> 00:49:39,600 {y:i}There were 48 breasts at "the Cafe Trieste this morning". 983 00:49:39,640 --> 00:49:41,880 [Music playing] 984 00:49:41,920 --> 00:49:43,480 [Woman moaning] 985 00:49:57,720 --> 00:50:00,080 // "Take a Iook at me" // 986 00:50:00,120 --> 00:50:03,160 I know this phase. It passes. 987 00:50:03,200 --> 00:50:05,200 But why does this have to happen now? 988 00:50:05,240 --> 00:50:08,440 I mean, yesterday Erica tells me I have to finish the vow... 989 00:50:08,480 --> 00:50:10,480 and today I'm slammed by sex. Why? 990 00:50:10,520 --> 00:50:11,960 -Look, you've gone 26 days? -Mm-hmm. 991 00:50:12,000 --> 00:50:14,280 -That's very admirable. -Yeah, thanks. 992 00:50:14,320 --> 00:50:15,800 But you can't come to mom and dad's tonight. 993 00:50:15,840 --> 00:50:18,040 If I don't go, they'll kill me. 994 00:50:18,080 --> 00:50:19,320 You don't want them to see you like this. 995 00:50:19,360 --> 00:50:21,160 I don't want me to see me like this... 996 00:50:21,200 --> 00:50:23,800 but if there's one place I'm safe it's at home, right? 997 00:50:23,840 --> 00:50:26,200 -Mmm. -Right? 998 00:50:26,400 --> 00:50:29,320 ALL: From thy bounty, through Christ, our lord. Amen. 999 00:50:32,800 --> 00:50:35,560 So, dad, when your hip heals, will it be like normal? 1000 00:50:35,600 --> 00:50:38,520 Yeah, pretty much. I can golf, ride a bike. 1001 00:50:38,560 --> 00:50:39,840 He just has to be careful. 1002 00:50:39,880 --> 00:50:42,360 It's amazing the things you can do now. 1003 00:50:42,400 --> 00:50:44,280 You know, I'm part of a pilot program... 1004 00:50:44,320 --> 00:50:45,720 that's tracking my range of motion. 1005 00:50:45,760 --> 00:50:46,840 Really? 1006 00:50:46,880 --> 00:50:49,200 Oh, they don't want to hear about that. 1007 00:50:49,240 --> 00:50:50,920 No, no. They want to see what effect... 1008 00:50:50,960 --> 00:50:52,400 the operation's had on my sex life. 1009 00:50:52,480 --> 00:50:54,120 [Coughs] Sorry. 1010 00:50:54,160 --> 00:50:56,280 Do we have to talk about this at dinner? 1011 00:50:56,320 --> 00:50:58,600 {y:i}FATHER.: Bev, we're aII aduIts {y:i}here, aren't we? 1012 00:50:58,640 --> 00:51:00,680 {y:i}Isn't sex a God-given {y:i}naturaI part of Iife? 1013 00:51:00,720 --> 00:51:02,200 Don't start, dad. 1014 00:51:02,240 --> 00:51:05,560 Why not talk about it? I think a good sexual appetite... 1015 00:51:05,600 --> 00:51:09,360 is a real, normal, healthy part of being a man. 1016 00:51:09,400 --> 00:51:11,640 And a woman. 1017 00:51:11,680 --> 00:51:13,840 Who wants more beans? I do. 1018 00:51:13,880 --> 00:51:16,440 "FATHER.: They're grown men". "They're oId enough to know"... 1019 00:51:16,480 --> 00:51:18,640 {y:i}that their mother's machine "is stiII running hot". 1020 00:51:19,680 --> 00:51:21,920 Walter, this isn't the moment. 1021 00:51:21,960 --> 00:51:24,480 Oh, no. Let me show you people. 1022 00:51:24,520 --> 00:51:25,920 [Brace squeaks] 1023 00:51:25,920 --> 00:51:27,840 See... 1024 00:51:28,960 --> 00:51:30,840 they sent me this sheet. 1025 00:51:33,240 --> 00:51:35,960 A whole bunch of different positions on it. 1026 00:51:36,000 --> 00:51:37,440 {y:i}I just check off {y:i}the ones I can do-- 1027 00:51:37,480 --> 00:51:38,560 "Iike this one here". 1028 00:51:38,600 --> 00:51:41,560 {y:i}I can do that, "so I check the box". 1029 00:51:43,320 --> 00:51:46,400 Hey, here's an old standby. 1030 00:51:46,440 --> 00:51:49,440 But, see, I can't do that because of my hip... 1031 00:51:49,480 --> 00:51:51,760 so, you know, I don't check the box. 1032 00:51:51,800 --> 00:51:55,960 Bev, have we ever tried this before? 1033 00:51:56,000 --> 00:52:00,440 Walter, how could you forget the Maui Hilton? 1034 00:52:00,480 --> 00:52:04,880 In the shower. I nearly killed myself. 1035 00:52:04,920 --> 00:52:07,240 [Laughs] Yes. 1036 00:52:12,480 --> 00:52:14,360 [Rattling] 1037 00:52:14,400 --> 00:52:15,640 Damn it. 1038 00:52:15,680 --> 00:52:17,600 [Sighs] 1039 00:52:20,400 --> 00:52:21,560 RYAN: Surprise inspection. 1040 00:52:21,600 --> 00:52:22,840 [Sighs] 1041 00:52:22,880 --> 00:52:24,920 [Buzz] 1042 00:52:24,960 --> 00:52:26,520 [Humming] 1043 00:52:26,560 --> 00:52:28,280 [Ryan whistling] 1044 00:52:28,320 --> 00:52:29,720 What the hell is that thing? 1045 00:52:29,760 --> 00:52:31,600 [Whistling] 1046 00:52:31,640 --> 00:52:33,760 It's a special light that allows me to see... 1047 00:52:33,800 --> 00:52:36,680 if any fluids have been liberated. 1048 00:52:36,720 --> 00:52:39,600 [Whistling] 1049 00:52:57,600 --> 00:52:59,160 Keep up the good work. 1050 00:53:02,520 --> 00:53:05,280 [Muttering] 1051 00:53:05,320 --> 00:53:07,200 -[Chuckles] -[Door opens] 1052 00:53:15,520 --> 00:53:16,760 "MATT.:Ahem". 1053 00:53:24,640 --> 00:53:25,760 Hmm. 1054 00:53:27,840 --> 00:53:29,280 Mmm. 1055 00:53:31,520 --> 00:53:34,280 JERRY : Ohh. These are good. 1056 00:53:34,320 --> 00:53:35,920 [Sighs] 1057 00:53:38,640 --> 00:53:39,760 Is-- 1058 00:53:40,720 --> 00:53:43,440 Is he twisting her nipple? 1059 00:53:45,680 --> 00:53:49,040 Jeez, that's an oversight. I'll fix that. Ahem. 1060 00:53:49,080 --> 00:53:52,280 I know what you mean. I've been surfing for porn all week. 1061 00:53:52,320 --> 00:53:54,480 -What am I doing wrong? -Huh? 1062 00:53:54,520 --> 00:53:56,720 I mean, not only is my wife not begging for it... 1063 00:53:56,760 --> 00:53:58,760 she's not... 1064 00:53:58,800 --> 00:54:00,400 I've never seen her so happy. 1065 00:54:00,440 --> 00:54:03,160 {y:i}And today. Did you see it's {y:i}the warmest day of the year? 1066 00:54:03,200 --> 00:54:04,960 Yeah, it's spring. 1067 00:54:05,000 --> 00:54:06,440 It's spring, Goddamn it... 1068 00:54:06,480 --> 00:54:08,320 and they're--look at 'em. They're all wearing... 1069 00:54:08,360 --> 00:54:11,080 "their IittIe summer dresses". "Just"... 1070 00:54:11,120 --> 00:54:14,200 [Sighs] Hmm? 1071 00:54:14,240 --> 00:54:17,080 What am I supposed to do now, vow boy, huh? 1072 00:54:18,520 --> 00:54:19,920 Fix this. 1073 00:54:20,000 --> 00:54:21,880 [Pills jingling] 1074 00:54:26,440 --> 00:54:27,560 Damn it! 1075 00:54:29,600 --> 00:54:30,840 [Hums] 1076 00:54:34,800 --> 00:54:35,920 Come on. 1077 00:54:37,000 --> 00:54:40,240 -What's up, dog? -Hey, what's up, dog? 1078 00:54:40,280 --> 00:54:43,800 -What are you doing? -Just, uh, freshenin' up. 1079 00:54:45,400 --> 00:54:46,960 [Exhales] 1080 00:54:47,000 --> 00:54:49,560 [Sighs] 1081 00:54:49,600 --> 00:54:52,400 I'm tired of waiting for things to happen. 1082 00:54:52,440 --> 00:54:53,840 And my money's on today. 1083 00:54:53,920 --> 00:54:55,680 Yeah, that's great. So what the fuck is that? 1084 00:54:55,720 --> 00:54:58,920 This is what the American Medical Association... 1085 00:54:58,960 --> 00:55:01,680 refers to as...viagra. 1086 00:55:01,720 --> 00:55:04,360 Well, I'm not gonna let you do that, bro. 1087 00:55:04,400 --> 00:55:07,280 Well, you can be bought...bro. 1088 00:55:09,080 --> 00:55:10,200 -Yeah. -Yeah. 1089 00:55:16,160 --> 00:55:18,240 Ahem. 1090 00:55:18,280 --> 00:55:20,160 "Ohh". 1091 00:55:20,200 --> 00:55:22,800 Who's that? What's that? 1092 00:55:22,840 --> 00:55:26,680 {y:i}Oh, God, that's that new girI "in tech support". 1093 00:55:26,720 --> 00:55:28,640 {y:i}Did you know "that reguIar ejacuIation"... 1094 00:55:28,640 --> 00:55:31,520 is a preventative against prostate cancer? 1095 00:55:31,520 --> 00:55:32,760 [Grunts] 1096 00:55:32,800 --> 00:55:36,480 {y:i}DUNCAN.: So, is it that {y:i}you hate your penis? 1097 00:55:36,520 --> 00:55:39,480 Because, I mean, I personally feel like that's-- 1098 00:55:39,520 --> 00:55:41,320 God, that's one of the best relationships I have. 1099 00:55:41,360 --> 00:55:44,200 {y:i}Why do you think they caII it {y:i}the IittIe head? 1100 00:55:44,240 --> 00:55:45,760 "I'II teII you why". 1101 00:55:45,800 --> 00:55:47,720 [Chuckles] Because he has ideas. 1102 00:55:54,360 --> 00:55:55,480 I-- 1103 00:55:58,400 --> 00:56:00,440 -Nice going, dumb ass. -What? 1104 00:56:00,480 --> 00:56:01,680 Hey, Jerry. 1105 00:56:01,720 --> 00:56:03,040 [Gasping] 1106 00:56:03,080 --> 00:56:05,920 Chow mein. New girl in tech. Very hot. 1107 00:56:05,960 --> 00:56:08,880 Ah...ah...ah. Mmm. 1108 00:56:10,080 --> 00:56:12,840 "Ahh. This tastes funny". 1109 00:56:12,880 --> 00:56:15,880 {y:i}Not bad, "just, you know, funny". 1110 00:56:17,560 --> 00:56:20,480 Ohh. Mmm. 1111 00:56:26,680 --> 00:56:27,800 Ahem. 1112 00:56:31,240 --> 00:56:32,360 Hey, Jerry. 1113 00:56:36,000 --> 00:56:37,120 [Jerry gasps] 1114 00:56:38,920 --> 00:56:40,840 Oh. 1115 00:56:40,880 --> 00:56:42,000 Ohh. 1116 00:56:44,480 --> 00:56:47,080 I--Excuse me. I have to get... 1117 00:56:48,600 --> 00:56:51,120 -Uh... -Do you need this? 1118 00:56:51,160 --> 00:56:53,520 -No. -[Exhales] 1119 00:56:56,720 --> 00:56:58,600 I--I'm so thirsty. 1120 00:56:58,640 --> 00:57:00,400 -Are you OK? -Mm-hmm. 1121 00:57:01,960 --> 00:57:03,240 [Door opens] 1122 00:57:10,120 --> 00:57:11,520 Captain Blueballs. 1123 00:57:11,560 --> 00:57:13,960 Been looking for you since lunch. 1124 00:57:14,000 --> 00:57:16,840 I was just, uh--ahem-- maintaining these... 1125 00:57:16,880 --> 00:57:19,200 Yeah. Matt, look at yourself. 1126 00:57:19,240 --> 00:57:20,560 Your life is shit. 1127 00:57:21,680 --> 00:57:24,840 {y:i}You're hiding out "In a fuckin'storage room". 1128 00:57:24,880 --> 00:57:26,840 OK, here's how it's gonna go. 1129 00:57:33,080 --> 00:57:34,960 You've already won. 1130 00:57:35,000 --> 00:57:38,080 You've already proven everyone wrong. 1131 00:57:38,120 --> 00:57:39,880 Now it's serious. 1132 00:57:39,920 --> 00:57:41,240 The pot's up to eighteen thousand. 1133 00:57:41,280 --> 00:57:42,960 That's a lot of money, isn't it? 1134 00:57:43,000 --> 00:57:44,560 -[Panting] -It's your vow. 1135 00:57:44,600 --> 00:57:46,360 It should be your money. 1136 00:57:48,000 --> 00:57:49,520 So I'm gonna split it with you. 1137 00:57:49,560 --> 00:57:52,040 That's right. 1138 00:57:52,080 --> 00:57:54,800 And all you have to do is take the dive. 1139 00:57:56,240 --> 00:57:58,880 Think about it-- nine thousand dollars. 1140 00:57:58,920 --> 00:58:00,400 Nine large. 1141 00:58:01,600 --> 00:58:03,360 Just take this. 1142 00:58:03,400 --> 00:58:04,840 [Paper rustles] 1143 00:58:04,880 --> 00:58:08,200 Uh-oh. You like her. Now we're talkin'. 1144 00:58:08,240 --> 00:58:10,680 -She's something, isn't she? -[Sighs] 1145 00:58:10,720 --> 00:58:14,480 {y:i}Take her into the bathroom "and get on with your Iife". 1146 00:58:22,960 --> 00:58:24,600 [Bangs on door] 1147 00:58:28,280 --> 00:58:30,480 Yes. Yes. 1148 00:58:34,240 --> 00:58:35,320 // "Ah" // 1149 00:58:35,360 --> 00:58:37,280 No, no, no. No, no. He can't do this. 1150 00:58:37,320 --> 00:58:39,480 I want to talk to him. 1151 00:58:39,520 --> 00:58:41,040 Matt, don't do it! 1152 00:58:41,080 --> 00:58:42,160 [Ryan and Duncan arguing] 1153 00:58:42,200 --> 00:58:43,720 {y:i}DUNCAN.: {y:i}We need you, MattI 1154 00:58:43,760 --> 00:58:47,000 {y:i}RYAN.: {y:i}Matt, don't do itI 1155 00:58:47,040 --> 00:58:48,400 {y:i}Think about the IittIe guy, {y:i}MattI 1156 00:58:48,440 --> 00:58:49,840 {y:i}Don't think about thatI {y:i}Think about meI 1157 00:58:49,880 --> 00:58:52,160 -Huh? Think about me! -Matt! 1158 00:58:52,200 --> 00:58:54,360 No, no, no, no. 1159 00:58:54,400 --> 00:58:56,720 Get out of here! Get out of here! 1160 00:58:56,760 --> 00:58:59,240 Matt, this is important! I'm going to go in there. 1161 00:58:59,280 --> 00:59:00,920 -I will throw down. -Come on! 1162 00:59:00,960 --> 00:59:02,320 Yeah. Fire in the hole. 1163 00:59:02,360 --> 00:59:03,480 I'm going to give you until the count of three. 1164 00:59:03,520 --> 00:59:05,760 Let's rock and roll. Aah! 1165 00:59:05,800 --> 00:59:07,280 You understand why I had to do that? 1166 00:59:08,400 --> 00:59:10,320 [Foot tapping] 1167 00:59:16,280 --> 00:59:18,280 [Chattering] 1168 00:59:18,320 --> 00:59:20,440 [Hyperventilating] 1169 00:59:21,920 --> 00:59:23,760 [Gagging] 1170 00:59:30,800 --> 00:59:36,600 Aah. Ahh... 1171 00:59:36,640 --> 00:59:39,000 -Jerry? -[Gasps] 1172 00:59:39,040 --> 00:59:43,880 Uh, Jerry's not here right now. May I take a message? 1173 00:59:46,720 --> 00:59:50,320 [Whispering] What about the vow, Jerry? 1174 00:59:50,360 --> 00:59:55,600 "I tried. I--I didn't"... "I tried. I reaIIy"... 1175 00:59:55,680 --> 00:59:58,280 [Flushes toilet] 1176 00:59:58,320 --> 01:00:00,040 [Chattering] 1177 01:00:02,160 --> 01:00:04,800 It just--it just hit me all at once. 1178 01:00:04,840 --> 01:00:06,800 I mean, I've jerked off three times since lunch. 1179 01:00:06,840 --> 01:00:08,600 I still have this fucking hard-on. 1180 01:00:08,640 --> 01:00:10,360 [Flushes toilet] 1181 01:00:11,640 --> 01:00:13,440 "Way to go, Mr. Anderson". 1182 01:00:13,480 --> 01:00:16,120 Two more, and you break the company record. 1183 01:00:22,040 --> 01:00:23,360 -Oh. -WOMAN: Aw. 1184 01:00:23,400 --> 01:00:25,240 "MAN.: Boo". 1185 01:00:25,280 --> 01:00:26,880 [Crowd boos] 1186 01:00:26,920 --> 01:00:28,600 What? 1187 01:00:28,640 --> 01:00:30,520 [Laughs] 1188 01:00:39,800 --> 01:00:41,320 "RYAN.:AII right". "This is ridicuIous". 1189 01:00:41,360 --> 01:00:43,760 -[Sighs] -I am going in. 1190 01:00:48,800 --> 01:00:50,640 Ahh. Uhh. 1191 01:00:54,800 --> 01:00:55,960 Where is Matt? 1192 01:00:56,000 --> 01:00:58,120 Um... 1193 01:00:59,960 --> 01:01:01,360 "Heh". 1194 01:01:01,440 --> 01:01:04,360 Well, I don't know. 1195 01:01:10,720 --> 01:01:12,640 [Crowd whispers] 1196 01:01:12,680 --> 01:01:13,760 He didn't do it. 1197 01:01:13,800 --> 01:01:16,040 -Yeah! -[Cheering] 1198 01:01:16,240 --> 01:01:18,160 [Thunder] 1199 01:01:20,840 --> 01:01:22,960 [Rings doorbell] 1200 01:01:31,240 --> 01:01:32,360 Hi. 1201 01:01:32,400 --> 01:01:34,920 I know I shouldn't be here... 1202 01:01:34,960 --> 01:01:36,920 but I've been thinking about you a lot... 1203 01:01:36,960 --> 01:01:38,640 and I had to see you. 1204 01:01:41,640 --> 01:01:44,560 What are those, like some kind of a bribe? 1205 01:01:44,600 --> 01:01:49,840 More like...gentle persuasion. 1206 01:01:54,200 --> 01:01:56,640 {y:i}ERICA.: Is this going to get {y:i}worse before it gets better? 1207 01:01:56,680 --> 01:01:58,360 Probably, but I got to get this out... 1208 01:01:58,400 --> 01:01:59,920 before I lose my train of thought. 1209 01:02:00,000 --> 01:02:02,360 See... 1210 01:02:02,400 --> 01:02:06,400 Nicole had this... 1211 01:02:06,440 --> 01:02:09,520 special status. 1212 01:02:09,560 --> 01:02:11,640 More like a special power. 1213 01:02:11,680 --> 01:02:13,960 And I couldn't match it... 1214 01:02:14,000 --> 01:02:15,920 and I couldn't find anybody to replace it. 1215 01:02:15,960 --> 01:02:18,800 -I think I get it. -You do? 1216 01:02:20,080 --> 01:02:24,080 It's very easy to confuse a physical attraction... 1217 01:02:24,120 --> 01:02:25,760 with a real connection. 1218 01:02:25,800 --> 01:02:27,880 Yeah. Sometimes you just can't tell. 1219 01:02:27,920 --> 01:02:29,680 Well, you can tell. 1220 01:02:29,720 --> 01:02:31,720 You can tell by the kiss. 1221 01:02:31,760 --> 01:02:34,960 You know, the other stuff-- the sex, ''Is he hot?'' 1222 01:02:35,000 --> 01:02:37,480 It doesn't matter. 1223 01:02:37,520 --> 01:02:40,120 All that matters is the kiss. 1224 01:02:42,080 --> 01:02:43,920 How do you know about me? 1225 01:02:43,960 --> 01:02:45,560 I don't. 1226 01:02:55,080 --> 01:02:58,040 {y:i}I don't even know "If you can feeI that". 1227 01:02:59,600 --> 01:03:01,400 I can feel that. 1228 01:03:03,280 --> 01:03:04,640 Is this against the rules? 1229 01:03:08,120 --> 01:03:09,840 I'll let you be the judge of that. 1230 01:03:11,520 --> 01:03:15,080 -I'm thinking now. -I'm thinking now, too. 1231 01:03:15,120 --> 01:03:17,240 Come here. 1232 01:03:27,320 --> 01:03:29,200 [Sighs] 1233 01:03:39,240 --> 01:03:41,160 [Woman singing] 1234 01:03:54,080 --> 01:03:59,760 // "I wanna waIk beside you" // 1235 01:03:59,840 --> 01:04:07,160 // "Nowhere" "that I have ever been" // 1236 01:04:07,200 --> 01:04:12,600 // "And aII the dreams" "inside you" // 1237 01:04:12,640 --> 01:04:18,480 // "I am the one" "you have not seen" // 1238 01:04:18,520 --> 01:04:25,080 // "I feeI immune" // 1239 01:04:25,120 --> 01:04:28,400 // "By my own mind" // 1240 01:04:28,480 --> 01:04:31,840 // "I can't refuse" // 1241 01:04:31,880 --> 01:04:38,360 // "An offer to make Iove" // 1242 01:04:39,960 --> 01:04:41,120 // "To you" // 1243 01:04:45,160 --> 01:04:49,920 // "How come your words" "affect me" // 1244 01:04:49,960 --> 01:04:51,040 Ooh. 1245 01:04:51,080 --> 01:04:53,880 // "I have not wanted" // 1246 01:04:53,920 --> 01:04:58,640 // "To be aIIowed" // 1247 01:04:58,680 --> 01:05:02,000 // "And yet" "I made you set free" // 1248 01:05:02,080 --> 01:05:04,080 [Erica moaning] 1249 01:05:04,120 --> 01:05:11,000 // "With aII the meaning" "was the sound" // 1250 01:05:11,040 --> 01:05:16,040 // "In your refrain" // 1251 01:05:16,080 --> 01:05:19,360 // "I hear the chords" // 1252 01:05:19,400 --> 01:05:21,680 // "Of Iove in vain" // 1253 01:05:21,720 --> 01:05:23,360 "Ohh". 1254 01:05:23,400 --> 01:05:25,680 // "How can I heIp" // 1255 01:05:25,720 --> 01:05:30,680 // "CaIIing your name?" // 1256 01:05:38,000 --> 01:05:41,360 I wasn't supposed to do that, was I? 1257 01:05:41,440 --> 01:05:44,120 Huh? Huh? 1258 01:05:45,880 --> 01:05:47,760 Mmm. 1259 01:05:52,960 --> 01:05:54,840 Good night, sweetie. 1260 01:05:54,880 --> 01:05:58,360 Oh, no. Don't go to sleep yet, because... 1261 01:05:58,400 --> 01:05:59,640 we should talk about something. 1262 01:05:59,680 --> 01:06:02,480 -Mm-hmm. -We could talk about anything. 1263 01:06:02,520 --> 01:06:04,080 We could talk about... 1264 01:06:04,120 --> 01:06:06,160 we could talk about stickers. 1265 01:06:06,200 --> 01:06:08,440 Do you like stickers? 1266 01:06:10,080 --> 01:06:11,160 Erica? 1267 01:06:11,200 --> 01:06:13,080 [Woman singing] 1268 01:06:40,960 --> 01:06:42,760 {y:i}Matt, what are you doing? 1269 01:06:42,800 --> 01:06:44,920 The Willow and Smart people are here. 1270 01:06:44,960 --> 01:06:46,800 We're late for the presentation. Come on. 1271 01:06:56,000 --> 01:06:57,600 "-Oh, my"... "-What the"... 1272 01:06:57,640 --> 01:07:00,000 [Employees laugh] 1273 01:07:02,760 --> 01:07:05,000 Hi. Sorry I'm late. 1274 01:07:05,040 --> 01:07:08,160 -Miss Willow. -Ohh. 1275 01:07:08,200 --> 01:07:09,760 Uhh. 1276 01:07:09,800 --> 01:07:12,440 Come on over here for a second. Um... 1277 01:07:12,480 --> 01:07:15,040 Want some camomile tea? 1278 01:07:15,080 --> 01:07:18,680 I think little Mattie is trying to say hello. 1279 01:07:18,720 --> 01:07:19,800 Oh, Jesus. 1280 01:07:19,840 --> 01:07:22,040 You might want to try some tighty-whiteys, jeans. 1281 01:07:22,080 --> 01:07:23,720 -You, go home. Now. -OK. 1282 01:07:23,760 --> 01:07:25,200 [Mutters] 1283 01:07:27,240 --> 01:07:29,760 So, shall we get it on? 1284 01:07:29,800 --> 01:07:31,120 Start? 1285 01:07:32,920 --> 01:07:34,800 From a flower? 1286 01:07:39,200 --> 01:07:41,120 Like, a vibrating flower? 1287 01:07:41,160 --> 01:07:44,000 No. No, just a flower. 1288 01:07:44,040 --> 01:07:47,360 And he didn't touch you once? 1289 01:07:47,400 --> 01:07:48,880 He didn't even try to touch you? 1290 01:07:48,920 --> 01:07:50,320 No, and I so wanted him to... 1291 01:07:50,360 --> 01:07:52,160 but what we were doing was so perfect. 1292 01:07:52,200 --> 01:07:54,480 Oh, yeah, perfect-- 1293 01:07:54,520 --> 01:07:56,560 the immaculate orgasm. 1294 01:07:56,600 --> 01:08:00,280 -[Laughs] Yes. -You are unbelievable. 1295 01:08:00,320 --> 01:08:04,000 // "Yeah, yeah, yeah" // 1296 01:08:04,040 --> 01:08:08,800 // "We have a space to share" // 1297 01:08:08,840 --> 01:08:11,720 [Doorbell buzzes] 1298 01:08:11,760 --> 01:08:13,040 Erica. 1299 01:08:13,080 --> 01:08:14,880 // "What I'm gonna do" "with today" // 1300 01:08:14,920 --> 01:08:16,200 Coming. 1301 01:08:16,240 --> 01:08:17,680 Hey, baby. 1302 01:08:17,720 --> 01:08:20,960 Oh, that's sweet. I really needed to hear that. 1303 01:08:24,080 --> 01:08:27,720 Oh, God, I must look awful. 1304 01:08:27,760 --> 01:08:28,880 Yeah. 1305 01:08:30,080 --> 01:08:33,160 [Sniffles] Well, you don't look so great. 1306 01:08:33,200 --> 01:08:37,200 It's a long story. What are you doing here, Nicole? 1307 01:08:37,240 --> 01:08:40,000 I just... 1308 01:08:40,040 --> 01:08:42,560 needed to talk to someone. 1309 01:08:42,600 --> 01:08:44,320 Where's David? 1310 01:08:44,360 --> 01:08:46,840 I don't know. At the office, probably. 1311 01:08:46,880 --> 01:08:48,920 Working late? 1312 01:08:52,000 --> 01:08:53,880 [Sighs] 1313 01:08:55,440 --> 01:08:58,880 We broke it off. It's over. 1314 01:08:58,920 --> 01:09:01,920 {y:i}Or he broke it off, "I don't know". 1315 01:09:01,960 --> 01:09:04,600 I made the commitment... 1316 01:09:04,640 --> 01:09:07,080 but I guess he wasn't too committed to it. 1317 01:09:07,120 --> 01:09:09,440 I'm sorry. 1318 01:09:12,960 --> 01:09:14,480 How's... 1319 01:09:16,360 --> 01:09:17,520 Emily? 1320 01:09:17,560 --> 01:09:19,880 Her name's Erica. 1321 01:09:19,920 --> 01:09:21,280 Good. 1322 01:09:21,320 --> 01:09:26,280 You never think about me anymore? 1323 01:09:26,320 --> 01:09:28,800 Not even just a little? 1324 01:09:30,720 --> 01:09:33,480 Let me put it this way. 1325 01:09:33,520 --> 01:09:35,440 I have thought about you... 1326 01:09:35,480 --> 01:09:39,120 about us--a lot. 1327 01:09:39,160 --> 01:09:41,360 But tonight, when you came in... 1328 01:09:41,400 --> 01:09:45,160 was the first time I didn't get all fucked up about it. 1329 01:09:46,760 --> 01:09:49,480 I think we could get you fucked up about it again. 1330 01:09:49,520 --> 01:09:53,160 Hey. Maybe you should go, hmm? 1331 01:09:53,200 --> 01:09:56,520 Mmm, I think your little friend here wants me to stay. 1332 01:09:56,560 --> 01:09:57,800 Yeah, well, my little friend's not in charge anymore... 1333 01:09:57,840 --> 01:09:58,920 so maybe you should go. 1334 01:09:58,960 --> 01:10:01,320 You're saying no to me? 1335 01:10:01,360 --> 01:10:03,280 You always do this to me... 1336 01:10:03,360 --> 01:10:04,960 and I'm the idiot because I keep coming back... 1337 01:10:05,000 --> 01:10:06,680 but I'm not coming back anymore. 1338 01:10:06,720 --> 01:10:09,560 You take everything from me. 1339 01:10:09,600 --> 01:10:11,000 That is so not true. 1340 01:10:11,040 --> 01:10:13,000 Oh, yeah? Name me one thing that you ever gave me. 1341 01:10:15,880 --> 01:10:18,680 I--I gave you The Bridges of Madison County... 1342 01:10:18,720 --> 01:10:19,800 you ungrateful asshole. 1343 01:10:19,840 --> 01:10:21,320 I never told you this. I didn't want to hurt your feelings. 1344 01:10:21,360 --> 01:10:24,240 That was the biggest piece of trash I ever tried to read. 1345 01:10:24,280 --> 01:10:25,560 You pig. 1346 01:10:28,560 --> 01:10:31,640 Matt, I am so--so mad that I have... 1347 01:10:31,680 --> 01:10:33,200 I have to tell you. 1348 01:10:33,240 --> 01:10:35,560 Watching you standing up for yourself like this... 1349 01:10:35,600 --> 01:10:38,480 has never made me so... 1350 01:10:38,520 --> 01:10:39,640 so... 1351 01:10:41,040 --> 01:10:42,840 [Breathing heavily] 1352 01:10:42,880 --> 01:10:44,120 hot. 1353 01:10:44,160 --> 01:10:46,480 I like this. 1354 01:10:46,520 --> 01:10:48,120 Where have you been? 1355 01:10:50,600 --> 01:10:52,600 You can slam that door in my face if you want... 1356 01:10:52,640 --> 01:10:55,520 but I'll just be on the other side, even hotter. 1357 01:10:55,560 --> 01:10:59,280 Holy hell. 1358 01:10:59,320 --> 01:11:03,960 Slam that door in my dirty, bad, bad face. 1359 01:11:04,000 --> 01:11:06,880 Oh, God, Matt, slam it! 1360 01:11:20,080 --> 01:11:21,960 Aah! 1361 01:11:25,200 --> 01:11:26,800 Will you just think about it, OK? 1362 01:11:26,840 --> 01:11:28,760 The dude was in the john with a dirty mag. 1363 01:11:28,800 --> 01:11:30,680 If that's me, I'm painting the ceiling. 1364 01:11:30,720 --> 01:11:32,600 Who does this Matt guy think he is, anyways? 1365 01:11:32,640 --> 01:11:35,480 "He's jerking us around". {y:i}How do we know this is reaI? 1366 01:11:35,520 --> 01:11:38,480 If you just go to Big Window, look at the dude's face. 1367 01:11:38,520 --> 01:11:40,880 You would know. It's for real. 1368 01:11:40,920 --> 01:11:42,800 Merj, how many times have I been wrong? 1369 01:11:42,880 --> 01:11:45,240 Pfft. Stupid monkey-ass moron. 1370 01:11:45,280 --> 01:11:47,200 Why don't you quit wasting my time over here? 1371 01:11:48,400 --> 01:11:49,920 Hey, bagel guy. 1372 01:11:53,120 --> 01:11:55,840 You know my name? 1373 01:11:55,880 --> 01:11:58,720 She says to me, ''You look like Lionel Richie.'' 1374 01:11:58,760 --> 01:12:00,520 Well, that's great, isn't it? 1375 01:12:00,560 --> 01:12:02,200 No, that's not great. That's not good. 1376 01:12:02,240 --> 01:12:03,360 Are you Chris? 1377 01:12:03,400 --> 01:12:06,080 -No, but I can be. -Chris would be me. 1378 01:12:06,120 --> 01:12:08,280 Excuse me. 1379 01:12:08,320 --> 01:12:11,160 I need to place a bet. 1380 01:12:12,360 --> 01:12:13,360 Can you deal with this? 1381 01:12:17,040 --> 01:12:20,600 -[Scoffs] Yeah, sure. -Good. 1382 01:12:20,640 --> 01:12:22,360 The thing is, it's a sucker bet. 1383 01:12:22,400 --> 01:12:23,960 It's going to be over in twenty four hours. 1384 01:12:24,000 --> 01:12:27,240 Ahem. 32 hours, 12 minutes, and 26 seconds. 1385 01:12:27,280 --> 01:12:28,400 Thanks. 1386 01:12:29,920 --> 01:12:31,800 Plus, Matt has this whole, uh... 1387 01:12:31,840 --> 01:12:35,440 you know, midnight madness thing mapped out and... 1388 01:12:35,480 --> 01:12:38,240 {y:i}His friend is coming over "at the stroke of midnight". 1389 01:12:38,280 --> 01:12:40,480 You get it? The stroke of midnight? 1390 01:12:42,360 --> 01:12:44,120 Thanks, buddy. 1391 01:12:45,680 --> 01:12:47,040 So, you'll take it? 1392 01:12:47,080 --> 01:12:49,680 Sure. 1393 01:12:49,720 --> 01:12:51,400 Thank you. 1394 01:12:51,440 --> 01:12:54,320 -[Ringing] -Aw... 1395 01:12:54,360 --> 01:12:56,240 -Uhh. -[Stops ringing] 1396 01:12:58,400 --> 01:13:00,680 [Yawns] 1397 01:13:00,720 --> 01:13:03,440 // "I cIose my eyes" "when I get too sad" // 1398 01:13:03,480 --> 01:13:05,640 // "I think thoughts" "that I know are bad" // 1399 01:13:05,680 --> 01:13:08,320 // "CIose my eyes," "and I count to ten" // 1400 01:13:08,360 --> 01:13:10,600 // "Hope it's over" "when I open them" // 1401 01:13:10,640 --> 01:13:12,920 // "I want the things" "that I had before" // 1402 01:13:12,960 --> 01:13:15,720 // "Like a Star Wars poster" "on the bedroom door" // 1403 01:13:15,760 --> 01:13:17,240 // "I wish I couId" "count to ten" // 1404 01:13:17,280 --> 01:13:18,680 Ohh! Ohh! 1405 01:13:18,720 --> 01:13:20,120 // "Make everything" "be wonderfuI again" // 1406 01:13:20,160 --> 01:13:22,960 Ohh! Ohh! Aah! 1407 01:13:23,000 --> 01:13:25,440 // "We'II sit around" "whiIe they get some air" // 1408 01:13:25,480 --> 01:13:28,000 // "I hear them scream," "I hear them fiight" // 1409 01:13:28,040 --> 01:13:30,800 // "They say bad words" "that make me want to cry" // 1410 01:13:30,840 --> 01:13:32,120 // "I cIose my eyes" "when I go to bed" // 1411 01:13:32,160 --> 01:13:35,240 She's filled with heavenly sweetness. 1412 01:13:35,280 --> 01:13:37,280 // "I'II feeI better" "when I hear them say" // 1413 01:13:37,320 --> 01:13:38,720 I somehow don't think Mr. Butterworth... 1414 01:13:38,760 --> 01:13:40,720 would appreciate that very much. 1415 01:13:40,800 --> 01:13:43,560 // "Why must this mean" "everything" // 1416 01:13:43,600 --> 01:13:48,080 // "When you're IittIe," "and the worId's so big" // 1417 01:13:48,120 --> 01:13:50,840 // "I just don't" "understand how" // 1418 01:13:50,880 --> 01:13:54,440 // "You can smiIe with" "aII those tears in your eyes" // 1419 01:13:54,480 --> 01:13:58,640 // "TeII me" "everything is wonderfuI now" // 1420 01:13:58,680 --> 01:14:00,840 // "No" // 1421 01:14:00,880 --> 01:14:02,480 // "Na na na na na na na" // 1422 01:14:02,520 --> 01:14:06,160 // "No, I don't wanna hear you" "teII me" // 1423 01:14:06,200 --> 01:14:08,200 {y:i}Excuse me, is this taken? 1424 01:14:08,240 --> 01:14:09,960 No. 1425 01:14:10,000 --> 01:14:13,280 // "That I wiII understand" "some day" // 1426 01:14:13,320 --> 01:14:15,040 // "No, no, no" // 1427 01:14:15,080 --> 01:14:17,600 // "No, no, no, no" // 1428 01:14:17,640 --> 01:14:20,680 // "Someday," "If I hate everything" // 1429 01:14:20,720 --> 01:14:22,320 // "PIease don't teII me" // 1430 01:14:22,360 --> 01:14:25,080 // "Everything" "Is wonderfuI now" // 1431 01:14:25,120 --> 01:14:27,680 // "Na na na na na na na" // 1432 01:14:27,720 --> 01:14:28,800 // "Na na na na na na na" // 1433 01:14:28,840 --> 01:14:30,560 // "No" // 1434 01:14:30,600 --> 01:14:32,520 Aah! 1435 01:14:32,560 --> 01:14:35,880 // "Everything" "Is wonderfuI now" // 1436 01:14:36,920 --> 01:14:38,960 -You got to help me. -You got to knock. 1437 01:14:43,040 --> 01:14:44,200 I'm seeing things. 1438 01:14:44,240 --> 01:14:46,320 {y:i}I swear to God, "everywhere I Iook"... 1439 01:14:46,360 --> 01:14:48,440 I'm seeing tits and ass. 1440 01:14:48,480 --> 01:14:52,360 When I came in here, I swear to God, I saw you kissing a nun. 1441 01:14:59,080 --> 01:15:01,720 Oh, my God! You were kissing a nun! 1442 01:15:01,760 --> 01:15:04,440 I'm slipping, Matt. I've already slipped. 1443 01:15:04,480 --> 01:15:07,200 -It's your stories. -This is my fault? 1444 01:15:07,240 --> 01:15:08,920 [Sighs] No, it's mine. 1445 01:15:08,960 --> 01:15:10,520 It's been bubbling under the surface... 1446 01:15:10,560 --> 01:15:12,880 "for a Iong time now". 1447 01:15:12,920 --> 01:15:14,520 I'm leaving the seminary for a little while. 1448 01:15:14,520 --> 01:15:16,280 What? 1449 01:15:16,320 --> 01:15:19,000 It's just a sabbatical. If I come back... 1450 01:15:19,040 --> 01:15:21,480 When I come back, it'll be for good. 1451 01:15:21,520 --> 01:15:23,640 So, you can't help me? 1452 01:15:23,680 --> 01:15:26,520 You're on your own, little man. 1453 01:15:30,400 --> 01:15:33,240 [Sighs] 1454 01:15:33,280 --> 01:15:34,640 [Woman breathing heavily] 1455 01:15:38,520 --> 01:15:40,440 [Electricity buzzing] 1456 01:15:42,280 --> 01:15:43,440 [Woman moans] 1457 01:15:45,480 --> 01:15:46,600 "WOMAN.:Ahh". 1458 01:15:49,440 --> 01:15:50,800 [Door unlocks] 1459 01:15:50,840 --> 01:15:53,640 {y:i}RYAN.: WeII, weIcome "to the cathedraI of iII repute". 1460 01:15:53,680 --> 01:15:54,760 {y:i}WOMAN.: "Merci, monsieur". 1461 01:15:54,800 --> 01:15:57,080 "Um, make yourseIf comfortabIe". 1462 01:15:57,120 --> 01:15:58,720 "Bien sur". 1463 01:15:59,920 --> 01:16:02,200 I almost fucked an outlet today. 1464 01:16:04,000 --> 01:16:05,720 You, uh... 1465 01:16:05,760 --> 01:16:07,760 Since when do you smoke, Matt? 1466 01:16:07,840 --> 01:16:10,040 -Since today. -Jesus. 1467 01:16:10,080 --> 01:16:11,960 Is this him? 1468 01:16:12,000 --> 01:16:13,720 "Yep. That's our boy". 1469 01:16:13,760 --> 01:16:16,120 You've started a whole new movement. 1470 01:16:16,120 --> 01:16:20,240 Megatonchism-- sex without orgasms ever. 1471 01:16:20,280 --> 01:16:21,760 [Matt coughs] 1472 01:16:21,800 --> 01:16:24,480 You like to party? 1473 01:16:24,520 --> 01:16:26,840 Can I borrow your handcuffs? 1474 01:16:26,880 --> 01:16:28,720 [Locks handcuffs] 1475 01:16:28,760 --> 01:16:31,240 If my hand is free, I'm bound to do anything with it. 1476 01:16:31,280 --> 01:16:32,360 Anything. 1477 01:16:32,400 --> 01:16:34,120 How much did you drink, Matt? 1478 01:16:34,160 --> 01:16:36,360 God's spirit made Jesus go to the desert. 1479 01:16:36,400 --> 01:16:39,080 He was there for forty days while Satan tested him. 1480 01:16:39,120 --> 01:16:41,720 He was living with the wild animals... 1481 01:16:41,760 --> 01:16:44,600 but angels took care of him. 1482 01:16:44,640 --> 01:16:47,280 Mark 1:12. 1483 01:16:47,320 --> 01:16:49,480 [Sighs] 1484 01:16:49,520 --> 01:16:51,840 [Locks handcuffs] 1485 01:16:54,120 --> 01:16:55,800 I look like Jesus on the cross. 1486 01:16:55,840 --> 01:16:58,840 -Yes, you do. -Yep. 1487 01:16:58,880 --> 01:17:00,280 You do. 1488 01:17:00,320 --> 01:17:02,480 So, what about your late night visitor? 1489 01:17:02,520 --> 01:17:05,480 Leave the front door open a little bit... 1490 01:17:05,520 --> 01:17:09,440 and put that key right there. 1491 01:17:09,480 --> 01:17:11,720 [Puts down key] 1492 01:17:11,760 --> 01:17:12,920 When she comes, I'll tell her... 1493 01:17:12,960 --> 01:17:14,560 I was accosted by home invaders... 1494 01:17:14,600 --> 01:17:16,360 and they tied me up. 1495 01:17:16,400 --> 01:17:19,040 OK, champ. Anastasia and I are going to leave now... 1496 01:17:19,080 --> 01:17:22,480 so...you should sleep. 1497 01:17:22,520 --> 01:17:23,920 Think about the angels. 1498 01:17:23,960 --> 01:17:26,080 Peace be with you. 1499 01:17:27,560 --> 01:17:31,720 He is a little weird, but it is Easter. 1500 01:17:39,000 --> 01:17:40,600 I feel like it's my first time. 1501 01:17:40,640 --> 01:17:42,560 {y:i}It is, isn't it? 1502 01:17:42,600 --> 01:17:45,880 You are going to be great. 1503 01:17:45,920 --> 01:17:47,280 It's going to be great. 1504 01:18:01,720 --> 01:18:04,520 [Animal howling] 1505 01:18:04,560 --> 01:18:06,000 MATT : Ha! 1506 01:18:08,920 --> 01:18:12,800 Haah! 1507 01:18:18,320 --> 01:18:20,240 [Quacking] 1508 01:18:32,560 --> 01:18:33,880 {y:i}WhoaI 1509 01:18:33,920 --> 01:18:37,280 {y:i}AahI 1510 01:18:50,320 --> 01:18:52,040 {y:i}MATT.: UhhI 1511 01:18:55,040 --> 01:18:56,280 {y:i}NICOLE.: "Show me you can do it". 1512 01:18:59,160 --> 01:19:01,520 "You can do it, Matt". 1513 01:19:01,560 --> 01:19:03,760 Show me you can do it. 1514 01:19:03,800 --> 01:19:05,280 Ohh. 1515 01:19:07,960 --> 01:19:10,320 "You can do it, Matt". "You can do it". 1516 01:19:10,360 --> 01:19:12,240 You can-- 1517 01:19:12,280 --> 01:19:13,680 Ohh! 1518 01:19:15,960 --> 01:19:17,720 "Oh, there we go". 1519 01:19:17,760 --> 01:19:21,520 -Doesn't that feel better? -Ohh. Uhh. 1520 01:19:21,560 --> 01:19:23,600 Relax, baby. 1521 01:19:23,640 --> 01:19:25,440 It's over. 1522 01:19:30,040 --> 01:19:31,760 [Breathing heavily] 1523 01:19:32,760 --> 01:19:35,840 What? Why? Why would you do this? 1524 01:19:35,880 --> 01:19:38,520 Well, this all started because of me. 1525 01:19:38,520 --> 01:19:41,360 It only seems natural that I should end it, huh? 1526 01:19:41,400 --> 01:19:43,280 [Strains] 1527 01:19:45,040 --> 01:19:48,520 Oh, here's your key. 1528 01:19:48,560 --> 01:19:50,600 "I kept meaning to return it". 1529 01:19:50,640 --> 01:19:52,480 It turns out the front door was open. 1530 01:19:54,760 --> 01:19:55,880 Are you expecting someone? 1531 01:19:55,920 --> 01:19:58,880 Oh, fuck. 1532 01:20:10,760 --> 01:20:12,360 [Alarm clock ringing] 1533 01:20:25,000 --> 01:20:26,360 -Uhh! -[Ringing stops] 1534 01:20:33,960 --> 01:20:36,760 Oh, my... 1535 01:20:36,800 --> 01:20:39,840 I was asleep. I thought she was you. 1536 01:20:39,880 --> 01:20:42,640 Ohh. Was it worth it? 1537 01:20:45,040 --> 01:20:47,040 Oh, come on, Erica, please. 1538 01:20:47,080 --> 01:20:48,560 Erica! 1539 01:20:50,160 --> 01:20:51,240 Erica! 1540 01:20:51,280 --> 01:20:53,000 Oh, shit. 1541 01:21:05,600 --> 01:21:07,520 [Sniffles] 1542 01:21:14,720 --> 01:21:17,280 // "I see the fever" // 1543 01:21:17,320 --> 01:21:22,600 // "And I Iove her for that" // 1544 01:21:22,640 --> 01:21:24,720 I'll say it was me. I'll say I set the whole thing up. 1545 01:21:24,760 --> 01:21:27,400 I'll say that I handcuffed you to the bed--which is true-- 1546 01:21:27,440 --> 01:21:30,080 that I sent her over here. 1547 01:21:30,120 --> 01:21:31,680 She was here to see me. 1548 01:21:33,400 --> 01:21:35,000 No. 1549 01:21:35,040 --> 01:21:39,240 No? I'll tell her something less idiotic, obviously, but... 1550 01:21:40,560 --> 01:21:43,160 No. 1551 01:21:43,200 --> 01:21:45,720 No more lies. 1552 01:21:45,720 --> 01:21:47,240 This doesn't seem like one of those... 1553 01:21:47,280 --> 01:21:50,120 ''truth will set you free'' situations. 1554 01:21:51,800 --> 01:21:53,400 No, it doesn't. 1555 01:22:01,280 --> 01:22:03,680 Hey. 1556 01:22:03,720 --> 01:22:06,040 Guess who dropped by. 1557 01:22:07,360 --> 01:22:09,640 He left hours ago. 1558 01:22:09,680 --> 01:22:11,880 He brought you this. 1559 01:22:11,920 --> 01:22:14,600 Personally, I prefer the telegram... 1560 01:22:14,640 --> 01:22:16,560 but I did get to talk to him for a little bit. 1561 01:22:16,600 --> 01:22:18,480 So? I don't want to hear about it. 1562 01:22:18,520 --> 01:22:21,360 -OK. -But now you're on his side? 1563 01:22:21,400 --> 01:22:24,200 Yeah, Erica. He melted my heart. 1564 01:22:24,240 --> 01:22:27,600 He's a real mess about you. It was a little pathetic. 1565 01:22:27,640 --> 01:22:29,760 That's not good enough. 1566 01:22:29,800 --> 01:22:31,080 Don't be stupid, Erica. 1567 01:22:31,120 --> 01:22:33,520 He's crazy about you. What else do you want? 1568 01:22:33,560 --> 01:22:40,200 // "She wouIdn't Iet me," "and I Iove her for that" // 1569 01:22:41,640 --> 01:22:45,280 // "Ooh, oh" // 1570 01:22:47,240 --> 01:22:49,920 // "And though" // 1571 01:22:49,960 --> 01:22:52,960 // "You steaI her" // 1572 01:22:53,000 --> 01:22:58,120 // "You Iove her" "and deceive her" // 1573 01:22:58,160 --> 01:23:03,160 // "She did nothing" // 1574 01:23:03,160 --> 01:23:06,040 // "So wrong" // 1575 01:23:06,040 --> 01:23:12,000 // "So wrong" // 1576 01:23:29,240 --> 01:23:31,000 // "Oh" // 1577 01:23:31,000 --> 01:23:33,120 Helps with static cling. 1578 01:23:33,160 --> 01:23:39,440 // "And I Iove her for that" // 1579 01:23:39,480 --> 01:23:41,400 [Sighs] 1580 01:23:43,360 --> 01:23:45,120 Where's your laundry? 1581 01:23:47,560 --> 01:23:49,840 I've been here every day this week. 1582 01:23:49,880 --> 01:23:51,920 All my laundry's clean. 1583 01:23:51,960 --> 01:23:53,840 [Both laugh] 1584 01:23:56,760 --> 01:23:59,320 I know I screwed up with you-- 1585 01:23:59,320 --> 01:24:01,720 over and over and over. 1586 01:24:01,760 --> 01:24:04,600 It just took me a long time to realize what I was doing. 1587 01:24:04,600 --> 01:24:06,160 Yes, it did. 1588 01:24:08,160 --> 01:24:13,480 I was trying to take a part of me and make it go away. 1589 01:24:13,520 --> 01:24:19,520 And I closed my world off, and I put myself in a little box. 1590 01:24:19,560 --> 01:24:21,920 And for a while, everything seemed clear. 1591 01:24:25,240 --> 01:24:27,000 But then you came along... 1592 01:24:27,000 --> 01:24:30,800 and that didn't help anything. 1593 01:24:32,200 --> 01:24:34,520 Remember when you said that you could never tell... 1594 01:24:34,520 --> 01:24:35,800 about someone until you kiss them? 1595 01:24:38,840 --> 01:24:41,080 Well... 1596 01:24:41,080 --> 01:24:45,160 I screwed up. I--I should've just done this. 1597 01:24:55,920 --> 01:24:58,440 Are you done talking now? 1598 01:25:19,320 --> 01:25:21,280 Thirty eight hours exactly. 1599 01:25:21,320 --> 01:25:23,520 -Son of a bitch. -Damn it. 1600 01:25:23,560 --> 01:25:26,760 The pot's up to 140. Anybody else want in on hour 39? 1601 01:25:26,800 --> 01:25:28,520 "DUNCAN.: Hey, hey". 1602 01:25:28,560 --> 01:25:31,840 {y:i}How do we even know that {y:i}they're stiII even in there? 1603 01:25:31,880 --> 01:25:35,520 They could've put the CD player on repeat or shuffle. 1604 01:25:35,560 --> 01:25:38,200 -That's a good point. -It is a good point... 1605 01:25:38,240 --> 01:25:39,720 because they could've snuck out the back window... 1606 01:25:39,760 --> 01:25:41,680 and we're still sitting around here like a bunch of chimps. 1607 01:25:41,720 --> 01:25:43,960 -Chimps. -You know what? Look at me. 1608 01:25:44,000 --> 01:25:46,680 I've been here the whole time. Believe it. 1609 01:25:46,680 --> 01:25:48,520 [Music stops] 1610 01:25:56,960 --> 01:25:58,040 [Music playing] 1611 01:25:58,080 --> 01:26:01,000 Oh, put me in for a tenner. 1612 01:26:01,040 --> 01:26:05,640 He'll keep going. Two dollars, please. 1613 01:26:05,680 --> 01:26:06,760 [Door slams] 1614 01:26:06,800 --> 01:26:09,200 -[Chattering stops] -Uhh. 1615 01:26:19,480 --> 01:26:21,200 -Hey, Matt. -What's up, Matt? 1616 01:26:21,240 --> 01:26:22,320 Hey, Matt. 1617 01:26:22,360 --> 01:26:25,200 All right, you guys. Come on, get out. Get out of my house. 1618 01:26:25,240 --> 01:26:26,680 [All chattering] 1619 01:26:26,680 --> 01:26:28,400 No, no. You know what? 1620 01:26:28,440 --> 01:26:29,800 Come on, come on. Get out of my house. 1621 01:26:29,840 --> 01:26:31,160 I'll just take this. 1622 01:26:31,160 --> 01:26:32,880 Bye. 1623 01:26:32,920 --> 01:26:34,400 -Later, stud. -See you later. 1624 01:26:34,440 --> 01:26:37,000 Thanks for the fish, Matt. 1625 01:26:37,040 --> 01:26:39,040 Looking good. How long are you going to be in there? 1626 01:26:39,080 --> 01:26:40,440 -Let's go. -Hey, I'm going. 1627 01:26:40,440 --> 01:26:42,280 Chris, I'm going to call you tomorrow, all right? 1628 01:26:42,320 --> 01:26:43,440 -What are you doing? -You, too. 1629 01:26:43,480 --> 01:26:45,360 -I don't have my keys on me. -Good. 1630 01:26:45,400 --> 01:26:46,760 Wait, this is my house, dude. 1631 01:26:46,800 --> 01:26:49,560 Not for the next twenty four hours, it's not. 1632 01:26:49,600 --> 01:26:52,520 And you all should be ashamed of yourselves. 1633 01:26:52,560 --> 01:26:54,360 You're kidding. Don't have sex on my bed. 1634 01:26:54,360 --> 01:26:57,480 He can't last in there another 24 hours. He'll die. 1635 01:26:57,520 --> 01:26:59,560 How much you want to bet? 1636 01:26:59,600 --> 01:27:03,240 How much do I want to bet that he'll actually die? 1637 01:27:03,280 --> 01:27:05,840 -I'll put ten bucks on it. -Another ten. 1638 01:27:05,880 --> 01:27:07,160 I don't have a life. 1639 01:27:07,360 --> 01:27:09,840 // "A IittIe" "sexuaI frustration" // 1640 01:27:09,880 --> 01:27:12,920 // "Combined with" "Iack of motivation" // 1641 01:27:12,960 --> 01:27:15,760 // "And a Ioss" "of concentration" // 1642 01:27:15,800 --> 01:27:19,400 // "I got a strange disease" // 1643 01:27:19,440 --> 01:27:21,120 // "Two weeks ago" // 1644 01:27:21,160 --> 01:27:24,360 // "You said" "you'd never Ieave me" // 1645 01:27:24,400 --> 01:27:26,680 // "And here I am aIone" // 1646 01:27:26,720 --> 01:27:30,200 // "And in this worId" "of reckIess happenstance" // 1647 01:27:30,240 --> 01:27:33,160 // "Why do good things" "have to go away" // 1648 01:27:33,200 --> 01:27:35,760 // "And Ieave you with nothing" // 1649 01:27:35,800 --> 01:27:37,840 // "Yeah," "you Ieft me with nothing" // 1650 01:27:37,880 --> 01:27:40,880 // "Ah ah ah ah" // 1651 01:27:40,920 --> 01:27:42,840 // "Ah" // 1652 01:27:42,880 --> 01:27:45,480 // "A strange disease" // 1653 01:27:45,520 --> 01:27:48,400 // "Wee-ooh, wee-ooh" // 1654 01:27:48,440 --> 01:27:51,480 // "Wee-ooh, wee-ooh" // 1655 01:27:51,480 --> 01:27:54,120 // "Wee-ooh, wee-ooh" // 1656 01:27:54,160 --> 01:27:57,120 // "OveremotionaI sensations" // 1657 01:27:57,160 --> 01:28:00,080 // "Sit by your" "teIevision stations" // 1658 01:28:00,120 --> 01:28:03,160 // "And unaffected" "by Iocations" // 1659 01:28:03,200 --> 01:28:06,200 // "I got a strange disease" // 1660 01:28:06,240 --> 01:28:09,080 // "I can't seem" "to get to sIeep" // 1661 01:28:09,120 --> 01:28:12,120 // "I don't want" "nothing to eat" // 1662 01:28:12,160 --> 01:28:14,840 // "WaIking up and down" "your street" // 1663 01:28:14,880 --> 01:28:18,320 // "I got a strange disease" // 1664 01:28:18,360 --> 01:28:20,600 // "Why did you have" // 1665 01:28:20,600 --> 01:28:23,520 // "To put" "so much pressure on me?" // 1666 01:28:23,560 --> 01:28:26,000 // "You pushed my heart away" // 1667 01:28:26,040 --> 01:28:29,360 // "I didn't mean to scare you," "IittIe one" // 1668 01:28:29,400 --> 01:28:32,320 // "Is there nothing" "I can say?" // 1669 01:28:32,360 --> 01:28:35,000 // "Don't Ieave me" "with nothing" // 1670 01:28:35,000 --> 01:28:37,040 // "Yeah, you Ieft me" "with nothing" // 1671 01:28:37,080 --> 01:28:40,080 // "Ah ah ah ah" // 1672 01:28:40,120 --> 01:28:41,960 // "Ah" // 1673 01:28:42,000 --> 01:28:44,600 // "And a strange disease" // 1674 01:28:44,600 --> 01:28:47,560 // "Wee-ooh, wee-ooh" // 1675 01:28:47,600 --> 01:28:50,560 // "Wee-ooh, wee-ooh" // 1676 01:28:50,600 --> 01:28:53,160 // "Wee-ooh, wee-ooh" // 1677 01:29:05,560 --> 01:29:08,360 // "Now I'm standing" "in the rain" // 1678 01:29:08,400 --> 01:29:11,280 // "Water's soaking" "through my brain" // 1679 01:29:11,320 --> 01:29:14,200 // "Every dropIet" "speaks your name" // 1680 01:29:14,240 --> 01:29:17,400 // "And it's driving me insane" // 1681 01:29:17,400 --> 01:29:20,560 // "I don't want to go to work," "my Iibido's gone berserk" // 1682 01:29:20,600 --> 01:29:21,880 // "I don't want" "nothing to eat" // 1683 01:29:21,920 --> 01:29:23,320 // "WaIkin'up and down" "your street" // 1684 01:29:23,320 --> 01:29:25,400 // "But onIy two weeks ago" // 1685 01:29:25,440 --> 01:29:28,600 // "You said" "you'd never Ieave me" // 1686 01:29:28,600 --> 01:29:31,080 // "Now here I am aIone" // 1687 01:29:31,120 --> 01:29:34,480 // "And in this worId" "of reckIess happenstance" // 1688 01:29:34,520 --> 01:29:37,480 // "Why do good things" "have to go away" // 1689 01:29:37,520 --> 01:29:39,920 // "And Ieave you" "with nothing" // 1690 01:29:39,960 --> 01:29:42,200 // "Yeah," "you Ieft me with nothing" // 1691 01:29:42,200 --> 01:29:45,120 // "Ah ah ah ah" // 1692 01:29:45,160 --> 01:29:47,120 // "Ah" // 1693 01:29:47,160 --> 01:29:49,840 // "A strange disease" // 1694 01:29:49,880 --> 01:29:52,720 // "Wee-ooh, wee-ooh" // 1695 01:29:52,760 --> 01:29:55,760 // "Wee-ooh, wee-ooh" // 1696 01:29:55,800 --> 01:29:58,640 // "Wee-ooh, wee-ooh" // 1697 01:29:58,680 --> 01:30:01,680 // "Wee-ooh, wee-ooh" // 1698 01:30:01,720 --> 01:30:04,600 // "Wee-ooh, wee-ooh" // 1699 01:30:04,640 --> 01:30:07,680 // "Wee-ooh, wee-ooh" // 1700 01:30:07,720 --> 01:30:09,560 // "Wee-ooh, wee-ooh" // 1701 01:30:10,305 --> 01:30:16,470 Support us and become VIP member to remove all ads from www.OpenSubtitles.org