1
00:00:01,009 --> 00:00:06,009
Subs by: joeshmoe.

2
00:00:06,445 --> 00:00:08,646
From timings by:  bRalph.

3
00:00:08,893 --> 00:00:14,146
Original subs posted on: subscene.com.

4
00:00:14,171 --> 00:00:19,271
Warning! Obscene Language Uncensored!

5
00:00:20,864 --> 00:00:24,864
<i>Song: Bad Man's World
by Jenny Lewis.</i>

6
00:00:26,000 --> 00:00:32,074
-== [ www.OpenSubtitles.com ] ==-

7
00:00:48,138 --> 00:00:49,998
<i>(phone dialing)</i>

8
00:00:50,025 --> 00:00:52,985
<i>(phone ringing)</i>

9
00:00:53,490 --> 00:00:56,426
<i>(voice-mail) Hi, you've reached the
office of Dr. Stuart Price.</i>

10
00:00:56,461 --> 00:00:58,600
<i>Please note the office will be closed
until the 24th.</i>

11
00:00:58,601 --> 00:01:01,038
<i>If this is an emergency,
please try...</i>

12
00:01:01,063 --> 00:01:03,063
<i>(phone dialing)</i>

13
00:01:03,088 --> 00:01:05,688
<i>(phone ringing)</i>

14
00:01:05,931 --> 00:01:09,229
<i>(voice-mail) Hi! This is Dr. Stu Price.
I'm getting married.</i>

15
00:01:09,230 --> 00:01:11,055
<i>So I'll be out of the
country for 2 weeks.</i>

16
00:01:11,056 --> 00:01:13,240
<i>I'm not sure if I'll
have cell service.</i>

17
00:01:13,241 --> 00:01:15,798
<i>If this is a dental emergency...</i>

18
00:01:15,799 --> 00:01:17,809
Nothing.

19
00:01:17,834 --> 00:01:22,834
<i>(speaking in Thai)</i>

20
00:01:23,545 --> 00:01:25,949
Daddy, please! You're not helping!

21
00:01:25,950 --> 00:01:30,096
I looked into his eyes.
Not the eyes of a man.

22
00:01:30,097 --> 00:01:32,668
The eyes of a coward.

23
00:01:32,693 --> 00:01:36,493
<i>(speaking in Thai again)</i>

24
00:01:36,651 --> 00:01:38,486
Excuse me!

25
00:01:42,973 --> 00:01:44,737
- Bill!
- Tracy!

26
00:01:44,738 --> 00:01:48,421
- I'm sorry!
- Where the hell are you?

27
00:01:50,937 --> 00:01:53,219
It happened again!

28
00:01:53,220 --> 00:01:55,983
Don't say that, please!

29
00:01:55,984 --> 00:01:58,547
No this time we really fucked up.

30
00:01:58,548 --> 00:02:01,454
Seriously! What is wrong with you three?

31
00:02:01,455 --> 00:02:04,627
So much Trace, I don't even know
where to begin.

32
00:02:04,628 --> 00:02:07,258
<i>Oh god! How bad?</i>

33
00:02:07,259 --> 00:02:11,996
- Like, no wedding bad?
- Yeah...

34
00:02:11,997 --> 00:02:14,759
a little worse than that.

35
00:02:17,707 --> 00:02:21,801
THE HANGOVER PART II

36
00:03:57,311 --> 00:03:59,457
ONE WEEK EARLIER

37
00:03:59,682 --> 00:04:01,182
Uh, huh.

38
00:04:02,904 --> 00:04:07,406
- You really need to floss more.
- Fuck that! That's why I come here.

39
00:04:07,542 --> 00:04:11,811
- Then you should come more than once every two years!
- Why? So you can bleed me of all my money?

40
00:04:11,762 --> 00:04:14,478
I never charge you a dime, Phil!

41
00:04:14,679 --> 00:04:17,632
- Hey, how do I work the nitrous?
- Ah, you don't actually.

42
00:04:17,633 --> 00:04:20,334
Come on! Just one hit!

43
00:04:20,335 --> 00:04:24,082
Fillings look pretty good. Any other problems?

44
00:04:24,083 --> 00:04:28,449
Yeah, actually. You're getting married
in Thailand.

45
00:04:28,450 --> 00:04:32,289
For starters, that's flights for me and Steph.
That's two grand right there.

46
00:04:32,290 --> 00:04:36,483
Then my mother in laws watching the kids. So
now she's got this whole new thing over my head.

47
00:04:36,484 --> 00:04:38,601
Plus, takes five days to get there.

48
00:04:38,602 --> 00:04:42,263
It's a 16 hour flight. And it's beautiful
when you get there.

49
00:04:42,264 --> 00:04:44,774
- Whatever, it's a hassle!
- It is kinda far.

50
00:04:44,775 --> 00:04:47,326
Lauren's been there a week and she's
still jet lagged.

51
00:04:47,327 --> 00:04:50,075
But it's where her parents are from and
it means a lot to them.

52
00:04:50,076 --> 00:04:53,568
Who gives a shit about her parents!
Her dad hates you!

53
00:04:53,569 --> 00:04:57,331
He doesn't hate me! He's just never
spoken to me...

54
00:04:57,333 --> 00:04:58,978
...I think it's a cultural thing.

55
00:04:59,014 --> 00:05:01,886
Why can't you just get married in Vegas like
you did the last time. It's so much easier.

56
00:05:01,923 --> 00:05:04,787
Why can't you just be excited for me?

57
00:05:04,789 --> 00:05:07,171
This is my wedding!

58
00:05:12,039 --> 00:05:16,110
- You're really happy, huh?
- I really am.

59
00:05:19,317 --> 00:05:20,592
Alright...

60
00:05:20,593 --> 00:05:23,363
...I'm happy too.

61
00:05:23,364 --> 00:05:27,241
- Thank you!
- Gonna be fun.

62
00:05:29,321 --> 00:05:32,799
Phil. Put the prescription pad back.

63
00:05:47,317 --> 00:05:51,843
- Thank you. You know that's a felony right?
- Fuck you, man!

64
00:05:52,413 --> 00:05:56,216
- Was this right up against your scrotum?
- Yep.

65
00:05:58,173 --> 00:06:00,296
- Oh my god, I just realized.
- What?

66
00:06:00,297 --> 00:06:03,534
- I forgot to renew my passport!
- Oh no...

67
00:06:03,535 --> 00:06:06,721
Good thing I did it last week. It's in
the kitchen drawer.

68
00:06:07,710 --> 00:06:11,067
- You're the best!
- Hey! We're a team!

69
00:06:11,068 --> 00:06:15,730
You're a good guy. Like a really good guy!

70
00:06:16,976 --> 00:06:18,349
Thank you!

71
00:06:18,350 --> 00:06:22,784
- So I know you're not gonna get mad.
- Mad? What, mad at what?

72
00:06:22,785 --> 00:06:26,378
Alan found out that we're going to
Thailand for Stu's wedding.

73
00:06:26,379 --> 00:06:30,045
- So?
- So he's heart broken Doug. You guys are like his family!

74
00:06:30,047 --> 00:06:33,132
No. Your family is like his family.

75
00:06:33,133 --> 00:06:36,329
All Alan talks about is the three of you.

76
00:06:36,330 --> 00:06:38,410
- And that weekend.
- Wait a second...

77
00:06:38,411 --> 00:06:42,961
- Is he the one who keeps calling and hanging up?
- He does that when he's upset.

78
00:06:42,962 --> 00:06:45,617
He doesn't understand why he's not invited.

79
00:06:45,618 --> 00:06:50,355
Could you just run it by Stu? Just run it by him.

80
00:06:50,356 --> 00:06:52,549
For me...

81
00:06:54,367 --> 00:06:56,827
No fucking way! Absolutely not!

82
00:06:56,828 --> 00:06:59,892
Come on Stu, it's killing him.

83
00:06:59,893 --> 00:07:03,965
Honestly, the two of you were barely invited.

84
00:07:03,966 --> 00:07:06,912
I get it. I really do. It's just, you know what...

85
00:07:06,913 --> 00:07:09,170
Alan considers you to be one of his best friends.

86
00:07:09,171 --> 00:07:11,107
I consider Alan to be insane.

87
00:07:11,108 --> 00:07:14,664
Stu, throw him a bone! We've already said he's got to
pay for everything he eats and everything he breaks.

88
00:07:14,665 --> 00:07:17,819
You know what. We should see if we can squeeze
the old man to cover the bachelor party.

89
00:07:17,820 --> 00:07:20,036
- That's good.
- I'm glad you brought that up.

90
00:07:20,038 --> 00:07:24,647
- Because... this is the bachelor party!
- What?

91
00:07:24,649 --> 00:07:27,868
- What are you talking about?
- Yeah, it's my bachelor brunch!

92
00:07:27,869 --> 00:07:33,279
Go crazy. Get some chocolate chip pancakes... a
lap dance from the waitress...

93
00:07:33,280 --> 00:07:38,173
That's bullshit! You can't just skip
out of a bachelor party, Stu.

94
00:07:38,174 --> 00:07:42,021
You see that? That's orange juice with
a napkin on top.

95
00:07:42,022 --> 00:07:44,833
Do you know why? So nobody will refuse me.

96
00:07:44,834 --> 00:07:47,806
Why I refuse to eat fucking cantaloupe
at a bachelor party?

97
00:07:47,807 --> 00:07:51,850
- C'mon Stu. Don't you think you're over reacting?
- No, I don't.

98
00:07:52,556 --> 00:07:57,736
I'm still putting the pieces of my broken
psyche back together.

99
00:07:58,075 --> 00:08:03,668
And you know what the glue is? Lauren!
I'm not doing anything to screw that up.

100
00:08:03,669 --> 00:08:06,967
- Oh, please. You wouldn't even be with her if it wasn't for us.
- Oh, this'll be good.

101
00:08:06,968 --> 00:08:08,698
Stu, think about it!

102
00:08:08,700 --> 00:08:11,892
You ended up ditching Melissa, and two years later
you met your true soul mate.

103
00:08:11,893 --> 00:08:15,222
You take Vegas out of that equation, you
would have married a cunt.

104
00:08:17,071 --> 00:08:19,431
Oh that's ok. I'm allowed to say it. It's
a bachelor party.

105
00:08:19,432 --> 00:08:21,038
Drink up everybody.

106
00:08:21,039 --> 00:08:24,076
Oh wait, there's no alcohol! I forgot
we're at a fuckin IHOP!

107
00:08:24,077 --> 00:08:27,359
Well it's my decision and it's final, so...
how bout a toast?

108
00:08:27,360 --> 00:08:29,870
This sucks. I'm gonna wait in the car.

109
00:08:29,871 --> 00:08:32,447
- C'mon Phil, where you going?
- Doug, Doug, I just don't get it!

110
00:08:32,448 --> 00:08:35,592
He's getting married in Thailand! That's
great for him, but what about us?

111
00:08:35,593 --> 00:08:39,331
You're selfish! Come on, sweetheart...

112
00:08:40,241 --> 00:08:42,265
Shame on you!

113
00:08:44,761 --> 00:08:47,688
Don't worry Stu. I will stand up for you
no matter what.

114
00:08:47,689 --> 00:08:48,980
Thank you.

115
00:08:48,981 --> 00:08:52,386
But you gotta help me out with this Alan thing.

116
00:08:54,345 --> 00:08:56,913
Guys, I can't tell you how much this means...

117
00:08:56,914 --> 00:09:00,514
Alan's been waiting for the invite ever
since he got word of the wedding.

118
00:09:00,515 --> 00:09:01,934
- I'm sure he has.
- Yeah.

119
00:09:01,935 --> 00:09:05,214
Been standing outside by the mailbox every day.

120
00:09:05,215 --> 00:09:06,809
- Well that's tough.
- Yeah.

121
00:09:07,868 --> 00:09:11,507
I uh, I'm not sure he ever left Vegas.

122
00:09:11,708 --> 00:09:13,950
He really needs this.

123
00:09:15,114 --> 00:09:16,454
What?

124
00:09:17,017 --> 00:09:21,213
Sweetie, papa! You have visitors!
Go in slowly.

125
00:09:21,214 --> 00:09:24,052
Give him a chance to acclimate.

126
00:09:26,608 --> 00:09:31,179
- Hey, Alan!
- Hey, guys! Hey, Phil!

127
00:09:31,180 --> 00:09:33,089
Hey, bud!

128
00:09:34,747 --> 00:09:38,288
- You guys wanna come in?
- Sure. Absolutely.

129
00:09:41,470 --> 00:09:42,769
- Hey.
- Hey.

130
00:09:43,804 --> 00:09:47,425
- Hey, Stu!
- Ok. See you on the court in half...

131
00:09:49,400 --> 00:09:53,596
- Pretty cool room, Alan!
- Thanks, Phil! My dad pays my rent.

132
00:09:53,597 --> 00:09:57,397
Alan, what the fuck! You were supposed
to delete these!

133
00:09:57,398 --> 00:09:59,343
You made a promise!

134
00:09:59,368 --> 00:10:00,568
Whoa, whoa, whoa!

135
00:10:00,881 --> 00:10:05,236
What the hell? I'm not cool with this
at all. You can't have these.

136
00:10:06,067 --> 00:10:08,173
Relax, Stu! Nobody ever comes in here.

137
00:10:08,174 --> 00:10:12,765
- A total violation of trust!
- Mother I'm done with my lunch. It's just sitting here!

138
00:10:13,657 --> 00:10:15,687
<i>I'm sorry, honey. I'll be right up.</i>

139
00:10:15,688 --> 00:10:18,757
- I can't believe you guys stopped by. This is really cool.
- Wait a second!

140
00:10:18,758 --> 00:10:22,376
- Al, is that Mr. Chow?
- Yeah. We still keep in touch.

141
00:10:22,377 --> 00:10:23,476
Stu!

142
00:10:23,477 --> 00:10:25,992
Chow, the guy that kidnapped us?

143
00:10:26,093 --> 00:10:27,999
He didn't kidnap us. He kidnapped Black Doug.

144
00:10:28,100 --> 00:10:29,599
Remember? It was a whole big misunderstanding.

145
00:10:30,100 --> 00:10:32,123
He's actually quite charming.

146
00:10:32,124 --> 00:10:35,324
- Alan, he's a criminal.
- Excuse me, boys!

147
00:10:35,325 --> 00:10:37,205
- Hi, Linda!
- Hi, Dougie!

148
00:10:37,206 --> 00:10:39,655
I guess we don't do desert anymore. I
didn't get that memo.

149
00:10:39,656 --> 00:10:42,788
I'm sorry, darling. I'll be right back.

150
00:10:42,789 --> 00:10:45,337
Would a cupcake kill you?

151
00:10:45,338 --> 00:10:49,523
- You know, I don't think this was a good idea.
- Alan, we have a little surprise for you.

152
00:10:49,524 --> 00:10:52,629
Stu would like to invite you to his wedding.

153
00:10:52,631 --> 00:10:56,633
- Well only if you're not busy.
- Stu!

154
00:10:56,634 --> 00:10:59,206
Well maybe the Jonas Brothers are in town.

155
00:10:59,207 --> 00:11:02,116
Nope. They're in Raleigh-Durham that weekend.

156
00:11:03,446 --> 00:11:08,443
Are you really being serious, Stu?
You're inviting me?

157
00:11:11,619 --> 00:11:15,828
Yeah why not? It's gonna be fun, right?

158
00:11:16,962 --> 00:11:19,415
- Phil, are you going?
- Of course!

159
00:11:20,666 --> 00:11:23,437
Then it will be fun.

160
00:11:29,907 --> 00:11:32,226
What the fuck are you doing, man?

161
00:11:33,203 --> 00:11:37,050
It's my immunizations. It's the last day
I can do it.

162
00:11:37,051 --> 00:11:39,440
That's supposed to be done by a registered nurse.

163
00:11:39,441 --> 00:11:42,231
I'm a nurse. Just not registered.

164
00:11:42,232 --> 00:11:46,928
Stu, look at this!
I bought this cause I thought of you!

165
00:12:23,290 --> 00:12:25,795
- Hey, there he is!
- Hey, Stu!

166
00:12:25,796 --> 00:12:29,203
- Teddy! What's up? How are ya?
- Hey Stu.

167
00:12:30,412 --> 00:12:33,792
- Alright. Who's this guy, Stu?
- This is Teddy. Lauren's little brother.

168
00:12:33,793 --> 00:12:36,829
Goes to Stanford. Pre-med. This is
Phil, Alan and Doug.

169
00:12:36,830 --> 00:12:38,256
Hey, nice to meet you, man!

170
00:12:38,257 --> 00:12:40,524
Wow, Stanford? How old are you?

171
00:12:40,526 --> 00:12:45,101
- He's 17. Kind of a genius.
- Actually, I'm 16.

172
00:12:45,102 --> 00:12:48,697
I'm not a genius. My dad just had me take
the entrance exams early.

173
00:12:48,698 --> 00:12:51,093
Because you're a genius.

174
00:12:51,094 --> 00:12:54,354
- So what are you, a doctor?
- No, not yet. I'm premed.

175
00:12:54,355 --> 00:12:57,879
- Ever heard of that guy Doogie Howser?
- Yeah.

176
00:12:57,880 --> 00:13:01,418
- Well, he turned out to be a gay.
- Alan.

177
00:13:01,420 --> 00:13:03,450
It's true, I read it in Teen People.

178
00:13:03,451 --> 00:13:08,018
Right, ok... well I'm gonna grab a book or something
for the plane. You guys want anything?

179
00:13:08,019 --> 00:13:11,414
- No, thanks. I'm good.
- I would actually love a small water.

180
00:13:11,415 --> 00:13:12,834
Cool.

181
00:13:14,959 --> 00:13:17,984
- What's the matter with you. He's 16 years old.
- Yeah, Alan. Take it easy!

182
00:13:17,985 --> 00:13:22,265
I'm a little confused. Is he here just to
see us off or what. How does this work?

183
00:13:22,266 --> 00:13:26,052
- How does what work?
- Is that person coming to the wedding?

184
00:13:26,053 --> 00:13:31,915
Yes Alan. My brides little brother is
coming to the wedding. Is that ok with you?

185
00:13:31,916 --> 00:13:35,560
Well, it's the first time I've heard of it.
You could have paged me.

186
00:13:39,037 --> 00:13:42,592
Don't over react. It's gonna be fine.

187
00:13:44,545 --> 00:13:49,316
- Hey. Mind if I sit?
- Wolf pack only. Find another chair.

188
00:13:49,317 --> 00:13:53,518
- There's no wolfpack, Alan. C'mon.
- It's no problem. I'll find...

189
00:13:53,519 --> 00:13:57,002
- Teddy, don't be ridiculous! You're sitting here!
- Careful, that's a Louis...

190
00:13:57,003 --> 00:14:00,134
That is a Louis Vuitton!

191
00:14:08,799 --> 00:14:15,048
- That's a nice neck roll!
- Thanks! You can use it if you want.

192
00:14:15,049 --> 00:14:16,762
Ok.

193
00:14:20,087 --> 00:14:25,087
<i>The Downeaster 'Alexa'" by Billy Joel playing</i>

194
00:15:26,669 --> 00:15:28,394
Baby!

195
00:15:42,627 --> 00:15:47,196
This is so absolutely beautiful!
Thank you much!

196
00:15:47,197 --> 00:15:48,565
Of course.

197
00:15:48,566 --> 00:15:53,579
Between Teddy and me, you must be pretty excited.
Pretty soon you'll have 2 doctors in the family.

198
00:15:53,580 --> 00:15:58,271
You have to realize that in my country we
don't consider dentists to be real doctors.

199
00:15:58,272 --> 00:15:59,373
Dad...

200
00:15:59,957 --> 00:16:01,048
Ok.

201
00:16:01,049 --> 00:16:05,147
Anyway I have to go and talk to Teddy
about his cello performance tonight.

202
00:16:06,972 --> 00:16:08,172
Ouch!

203
00:16:08,248 --> 00:16:09,968
I'm so sorry...

204
00:16:09,969 --> 00:16:12,776
Your dad's kind of obsessed with your
brother, isn't he?

205
00:16:12,777 --> 00:16:16,539
Teddy is my dad's prize possession. It's
always been that way.

206
00:16:17,364 --> 00:16:20,744
He'll warm up, I promise! Okay?

207
00:16:20,845 --> 00:16:22,921
You can just fax it over to me. I'll
pick it up at the concierge.

208
00:16:24,618 --> 00:16:27,094
Thanks, papa! Bye bye!

209
00:16:27,095 --> 00:16:30,238
That was my dad. I'm a stay at home son.

210
00:16:30,239 --> 00:16:33,983
We were discussing your wedding gift.
He's sparing no expense.

211
00:16:34,693 --> 00:16:36,753
Oh... That's so unnecessary.

212
00:16:36,755 --> 00:16:39,740
I've been meaning to ask someone. I
notice this is a fishing village.

213
00:16:39,741 --> 00:16:41,827
Is there a Long John Silver's on
the island?

214
00:16:41,828 --> 00:16:44,904
You know. No, I don't think so. I'm so sorry.

215
00:16:44,905 --> 00:16:48,911
But, we are actually serving some
great fresh seafood.

216
00:16:48,912 --> 00:16:51,636
- Better than Long John's?
- Yes.

217
00:16:51,637 --> 00:16:54,942
- I'll be the judge of that. Enjoy your evening.
- You too. Ok.

218
00:17:32,633 --> 00:17:34,633
All right!

219
00:17:41,059 --> 00:17:42,990
Thank you, Teddy!

220
00:17:42,991 --> 00:17:46,211
The hands of a brilliant musician!

221
00:17:46,212 --> 00:17:48,967
And one day, a great surgeon.

222
00:17:50,911 --> 00:17:53,277
I admit it...

223
00:17:53,278 --> 00:17:57,353
When I first met Stu, I was not quite sold.

224
00:17:58,531 --> 00:18:05,052
He seemed unattractive. He lacked
intelligence and imagination.

225
00:18:05,053 --> 00:18:09,702
He was missing the spark you look for
in a man.

226
00:18:10,745 --> 00:18:13,947
But then I looked into Stu's eyes.

227
00:18:13,948 --> 00:18:18,749
It reminded me of my sweet brother,
Chai Yo.

228
00:18:18,750 --> 00:18:23,998
For those who do not know, Chai Yo is learning
the sailboat and lives in a group home.

229
00:18:27,043 --> 00:18:30,512
But Chai Yo loves "khao" .

230
00:18:30,513 --> 00:18:37,513
And that's when I realized, Stu is "khao".

231
00:18:37,514 --> 00:18:39,284
What is "khao"?

232
00:18:39,285 --> 00:18:43,341
"Khao" is soft white rice in luke warm water.

233
00:18:43,343 --> 00:18:45,746
It has no taste.

234
00:18:45,747 --> 00:18:51,086
We feed it to small baby and uh, very
old people.

235
00:18:51,087 --> 00:18:54,489
It is nourishment that everyone can digest.

236
00:18:54,490 --> 00:19:01,792
The world needs "khao", just as the
world needs people like Stu.

237
00:19:03,227 --> 00:19:07,228
To my sweet daughter and Stu!
Congratulations!

238
00:19:07,229 --> 00:19:08,803
Cheers!

239
00:19:12,382 --> 00:19:16,559
And now I believe that Teddy has
something to say.

240
00:19:17,488 --> 00:19:21,842
Sit down! I got this.
Sit down, boy!

241
00:19:22,740 --> 00:19:25,522
That was a.. a great speech, sir!

242
00:19:25,523 --> 00:19:31,282
I like the comparison between
Stu and rice.

243
00:19:32,335 --> 00:19:36,045
I've also prepared a few words.

244
00:19:36,046 --> 00:19:38,946
Hey everybody. Here's some fun facts.

245
00:19:38,947 --> 00:19:42,580
The population in Thailand is 63 million people.

246
00:19:42,581 --> 00:19:45,367
It is twice the size of Wyoming.

247
00:19:45,368 --> 00:19:49,305
It's chief exports are textiles, footwear
and rice.

248
00:19:49,306 --> 00:19:55,448
Each year approximately 13,000 people are
killed in car accidents in Thailand.

249
00:19:55,449 --> 00:19:57,490
- The climate in Thailand...
- Alan!

250
00:19:57,491 --> 00:20:02,577
- Why don't you skip to the last card there, buddy.
- Okay. Sorry!

251
00:20:05,676 --> 00:20:08,544
None of you know Stu like I do.

252
00:20:08,545 --> 00:20:14,420
Not you... not you... not you...

253
00:20:14,421 --> 00:20:18,312
Not nobody knows Stu like I do.

254
00:20:19,326 --> 00:20:21,530
No one!

255
00:20:21,531 --> 00:20:25,334
I can't even tell you what we've been
through cause we made a pact.

256
00:20:25,335 --> 00:20:27,804
More important than blood.

257
00:20:27,805 --> 00:20:33,126
What I can tell you is this. This is
not Stu's first marriage.

258
00:20:33,128 --> 00:20:36,530
There was a whore in Las Vegas
a couple of years ago.

259
00:20:36,531 --> 00:20:38,455
Sit down...

260
00:20:40,640 --> 00:20:45,412
- Enough! He'll get over it!
- Okay. Thanks, Phil!

261
00:20:54,209 --> 00:20:56,383
In your face!

262
00:20:59,410 --> 00:21:03,119
Well that was exactly as painful as I
expected it to be.

263
00:21:03,120 --> 00:21:04,654
Sorry...

264
00:21:06,279 --> 00:21:09,774
- Oh, rice pudding! What are you doing?
- HaHa. Very funny!

265
00:21:09,775 --> 00:21:12,312
Be nice, Phil! He's extra sensitive tonight.

266
00:21:12,313 --> 00:21:15,658
Get over it! He's your father in law. He's
supposed to hate you.

267
00:21:15,909 --> 00:21:18,325
Come have a drink with me and the guys.

268
00:21:18,326 --> 00:21:23,227
You know... I'm really exhausted. We're
just gonna go upstairs and crash.

269
00:21:23,228 --> 00:21:26,624
C'mon, I just spoke with the manager. He's
gonna let us have a bonfire on the beach.

270
00:21:26,625 --> 00:21:28,468
That sounds fun!

271
00:21:30,558 --> 00:21:32,806
- Nyah... I'm good.
- He's tired!

272
00:21:32,807 --> 00:21:36,003
Stu, one drink with your friends who
came all this way.

273
00:21:36,004 --> 00:21:39,234
- I just wanna hang out with you!
- Oh c'mon. Just go! And do me a favor.

274
00:21:39,235 --> 00:21:43,620
Take Teddy with you. He never gets to
have any fun.

275
00:21:43,621 --> 00:21:46,246
That is a great idea. Bring the kid.

276
00:21:46,247 --> 00:21:49,220
- Alright. One drink!
- Perfect.

277
00:21:49,221 --> 00:21:51,208
- See you later.
- Have fun!

278
00:21:51,209 --> 00:21:54,397
- You have the key?
- Yep, got it right here!

279
00:21:54,399 --> 00:21:56,937
I'll see you in 20 minutes!

280
00:21:59,616 --> 00:22:03,369
My uncle Roger said that he once saw
an albino polar bear.

281
00:22:03,371 --> 00:22:08,202
Really? Polar bears are white.
How would he know if it's an albino?

282
00:22:09,713 --> 00:22:12,465
This one was black.

283
00:22:14,001 --> 00:22:17,757
Did you ever think maybe it was
just a black bear?

284
00:22:20,625 --> 00:22:22,338
Whatever...

285
00:22:22,589 --> 00:22:26,878
Ok. Here we go. American beer.

286
00:22:26,879 --> 00:22:30,087
- Sealed bottle!
- Thank you. Alright!

287
00:22:31,629 --> 00:22:34,913
- I'm not really old enough to drink.
- Yeah, it's illegal.

288
00:22:34,914 --> 00:22:37,430
Would be a shame if somebody reported you.

289
00:22:37,431 --> 00:22:41,838
Nobody's reporting anybody.
It's fine Teddy. Have a little fun.

290
00:22:41,839 --> 00:22:43,300
Careful!

291
00:22:43,301 --> 00:22:47,405
What is this? Instant marshmallows?
Nice touch!

292
00:22:47,406 --> 00:22:50,626
- That was Alan's idea.
- Good thinking, Al!

293
00:22:51,690 --> 00:22:56,507
You know... I gotta hand it to you, Stu!
This place is paradise.

294
00:22:56,508 --> 00:22:57,822
Not bad, right?

295
00:22:57,823 --> 00:23:02,610
And I can't believe I'm saying this,
but I'm actually jealous of you.

296
00:23:02,611 --> 00:23:06,174
- I mean, Lauren is an angel.
- Yeah, she really is amazing.

297
00:23:06,275 --> 00:23:07,701
Wow, you guys are sweet.

298
00:23:07,902 --> 00:23:13,160
Not big breasts on her. But still, solid
rack for an Asian.

299
00:23:13,161 --> 00:23:16,215
- Sorry, Teddy, but it's true.
- That's ok.

300
00:23:16,216 --> 00:23:18,457
That is just wildly inappropriate.

301
00:23:18,458 --> 00:23:25,745
And yet... I'm really glad you're here.
All you guys. Even you Alan.

302
00:23:25,746 --> 00:23:29,152
It means a lot that you made the trip.
Thank you.

303
00:23:29,153 --> 00:23:31,844
- Wouldn't have missed it buddy.
- Great!

304
00:23:31,845 --> 00:23:35,353
Now. Can we have our one fucking beer, dad?

305
00:23:36,798 --> 00:23:39,702
Alright. Toast! C'mon stand up guys.

306
00:23:40,754 --> 00:23:42,291
Come over here, Alan!

307
00:23:44,008 --> 00:23:46,633
To Lauren and Stu!

308
00:23:46,634 --> 00:23:49,633
- You did it, buddy.
- Sure did.

309
00:23:50,358 --> 00:23:51,858
Cheers!

310
00:25:09,100 --> 00:25:11,765
What the hell...

311
00:25:50,584 --> 00:25:51,794
What?

312
00:26:17,752 --> 00:26:19,338
Phil...

313
00:26:20,299 --> 00:26:23,153
I think it happened again.

314
00:26:23,154 --> 00:26:28,407
- Alan, what the fuck did you do?
- I didn't do anything. I swear to god.

315
00:26:28,408 --> 00:26:31,934
Your hair is gone.

316
00:26:31,935 --> 00:26:36,616
No, no... up.

317
00:26:42,477 --> 00:26:45,617
Where the fuck are we?

318
00:26:53,129 --> 00:26:55,063
Phil, I'm scared.

319
00:27:06,407 --> 00:27:09,534
Stu, c'mon get up! We got a situation.

320
00:27:18,129 --> 00:27:22,461
- Oh, holy shit!
- Where are we?

321
00:27:24,581 --> 00:27:30,322
- Oh my god, Alan. Your head.
- No your head!

322
00:27:30,323 --> 00:27:34,563
- Is it bald?
- Stu, you're gonna freak out, but it's gonna be ok.

323
00:27:34,564 --> 00:27:38,526
- Why? Was it my teeth?
- Nope, it's not your teeth.

324
00:27:38,527 --> 00:27:40,117
- Are you sure?
- Yep.

325
00:27:40,118 --> 00:27:41,966
Can you see the bottom?

326
00:27:44,638 --> 00:27:50,003
Oh my god! What the fu...ck

327
00:27:51,275 --> 00:27:54,383
That's good. Why don't you try to wash it off.

328
00:27:54,384 --> 00:28:00,022
It's not coming off. This is a real tattoo!

329
00:28:00,023 --> 00:28:03,383
- Alan, what did you do! Did you Roofie me?
- I didn't do anything!

330
00:28:03,384 --> 00:28:05,893
Stu, he swore to god!

331
00:28:07,341 --> 00:28:08,874
What happened?

332
00:28:12,277 --> 00:28:15,536
Get it off of me!

333
00:28:17,841 --> 00:28:20,871
- What the hell?
- It's a monkey.

334
00:28:20,872 --> 00:28:24,612
What a cute little mask. Hi little monkey.

335
00:28:24,613 --> 00:28:26,082
Alan...

336
00:28:29,658 --> 00:28:33,304
Phone! Alan, go find the phone!

337
00:28:34,250 --> 00:28:35,723
I got it!

338
00:28:36,823 --> 00:28:40,097
- Doug, where the hell are you?
- I'm at breakfast. By the pool.

339
00:28:40,098 --> 00:28:44,359
- You guys coming down or what?
- Oh Jesus. Thank god. Doug's fine.

340
00:28:44,361 --> 00:28:48,611
- Stu, Doug's fine. He's at the resort.
- Why aren't we at the resort.

341
00:28:48,612 --> 00:28:50,257
What's going on? Where are you guys?

342
00:28:50,259 --> 00:28:54,363
I do not know, man! We woke up
in some shit hole room in some city.

343
00:28:54,364 --> 00:28:58,069
- Oh god. What city?
- I don't know, Doug!

344
00:28:58,070 --> 00:29:00,837
Fuckin Asia-town.

345
00:29:00,838 --> 00:29:04,025
<i>- I do not know, I told you.</i>
- Where are we?

346
00:29:09,288 --> 00:29:12,181
- Hey Stu.
- What?

347
00:29:12,182 --> 00:29:14,757
Check this out.

348
00:29:14,758 --> 00:29:18,568
Ever seen anything like this?

349
00:29:25,008 --> 00:29:29,020
- What is that?
- Careful. Might be a spiders nest.

350
00:29:29,021 --> 00:29:31,644
I've tangled with those before.

351
00:29:31,645 --> 00:29:36,914
I don't get it man. We each had one beer
last night, right? I mean you too!

352
00:29:36,915 --> 00:29:40,597
- Yeah but I left early, remember?
- I don't remember shit!

353
00:29:40,598 --> 00:29:43,642
Tracy wasn't feeling well. She came
down to get me.

354
00:29:43,643 --> 00:29:47,894
- Wait and second. Is Teddy with you guys?
- Teddy? What? What are you talking about?

355
00:29:47,895 --> 00:29:50,729
He wasn't in his room. They've been
looking for him all morning.

356
00:29:50,730 --> 00:29:53,747
- Teddy went to Stanford, right?
- Yeah. Why?

357
00:29:53,748 --> 00:29:55,672
Fuck!

358
00:29:57,371 --> 00:30:00,377
- I just found his finger!
- What?

359
00:30:01,098 --> 00:30:06,041
- I just found his fucking finger, Doug!
- Phil, what is going on?

360
00:30:06,492 --> 00:30:10,455
Alright. Alright, alright... this is
what we're gonna do.

361
00:30:10,456 --> 00:30:13,798
You tell the girls that we woke up early and went
on a fishing trip, ok. And that's where we are.

362
00:30:13,799 --> 00:30:16,984
- Right.
- Right, stay by the phone!

363
00:30:18,074 --> 00:30:20,175
Shit!

364
00:30:22,936 --> 00:30:25,905
Uh, we got a little bit of a problem.

365
00:30:26,757 --> 00:30:28,761
What is that?

366
00:30:29,315 --> 00:30:31,253
We don't know.

367
00:30:31,948 --> 00:30:36,537
- Is it a worm?
- It's a mushroom.

368
00:30:37,813 --> 00:30:40,114
Yeah, shiitake.

369
00:30:40,651 --> 00:30:43,811
Monkey, taste it! Is it shiitake?

370
00:30:43,812 --> 00:30:48,420
- He can't understand you.
- He just did.

371
00:30:48,421 --> 00:30:51,870
- Why is he pulling on it?
- He's probably hungry.

372
00:30:51,871 --> 00:30:54,457
Wait a second. Is that...

373
00:30:54,459 --> 00:30:59,522
What the fuck man. Tell that gay monkey
to leave my shit alone.

374
00:30:59,523 --> 00:31:00,928
Chow?

375
00:31:00,929 --> 00:31:03,954
You're fucking crazy.

376
00:31:03,955 --> 00:31:09,972
It's so fucking light in here!
Alan, grab me my sunglasses!

377
00:31:09,974 --> 00:31:15,062
- It's great to see you, Leslie!
- Nice to see you too my little popo.

378
00:31:15,063 --> 00:31:17,089
Chow, what the fuck are you doing here?

379
00:31:17,090 --> 00:31:20,750
Alan called me a few days ago and
invited me to the wedding.

380
00:31:20,751 --> 00:31:23,054
- Excuse me?
- What, he's my plus one.

381
00:31:23,055 --> 00:31:25,793
You don't have plus one. It's $200 a plate.

382
00:31:25,794 --> 00:31:28,975
Guys, guys. Just focus, ok.
Chow, what happened?

383
00:31:28,976 --> 00:31:33,662
You guys texted me, said you're fucked
up and looking to party.

384
00:31:39,856 --> 00:31:43,196
I picked you up on my boat and I brought
you here to Bangkok.

385
00:31:43,197 --> 00:31:45,926
But we had a sick night, bitches!

386
00:31:45,927 --> 00:31:51,086
Wait a second Chow,  we're in Bangkok?

387
00:31:51,087 --> 00:31:54,454
Holler, city of squalor.

388
00:31:54,455 --> 00:31:59,391
- Do you know how I got this tattoo?
- Uh, yeah from a fucking tattoo guy!

389
00:31:59,392 --> 00:32:02,577
Come on Stu, use that big Jewish brain.

390
00:32:02,578 --> 00:32:04,653
What's the monkey holding?

391
00:32:07,190 --> 00:32:11,358
- That's a finger!
- Stu, I got some bad news.

392
00:32:11,359 --> 00:32:15,999
Teddy was with us last night.
That's his finger.

393
00:32:17,352 --> 00:32:22,789
- Teddy's dead?
- Teddy's not dead! He partied with us all night!

394
00:32:22,791 --> 00:32:26,618
- Well then where is he?
- Don't you remember anything?

395
00:32:26,619 --> 00:32:30,069
- No!
- No, nothing, Chow.

396
00:32:30,070 --> 00:32:33,300
Ok I explain it all, ok?

397
00:32:33,301 --> 00:32:38,374
Just let me do one bump, get my head straight.
Come to papa.

398
00:32:38,375 --> 00:32:40,916
That's a big...

399
00:32:46,166 --> 00:32:50,438
You ready for craziest fucking story ever...

400
00:33:00,232 --> 00:33:01,767
Chow!

401
00:33:03,694 --> 00:33:07,048
Hey Chow, you okay?

402
00:33:08,421 --> 00:33:11,433
You gotta be kidding me.

403
00:33:16,572 --> 00:33:19,211
Fuck, he's dead!

404
00:33:24,850 --> 00:33:26,161
- Help!
- Stu!

405
00:33:26,957 --> 00:33:30,303
- Help!
- Stu, shut up!

406
00:33:30,304 --> 00:33:33,243
- Call an ambulance!
- Shut up! He's dead!

407
00:33:33,244 --> 00:33:36,172
Look if someone comes and finds a dead
body and a pile of cocaine...

408
00:33:36,173 --> 00:33:39,727
We're gonna spend the rest of our fucking
lives in a Thai prison.

409
00:33:40,416 --> 00:33:43,179
Alan! Please don't cry!

410
00:33:44,549 --> 00:33:49,550
Alright. Alright. I just need a second to
figure this out.

411
00:34:05,358 --> 00:34:08,017
ICE MACHINE LOCATED ON 15TH FLOOR.

412
00:34:23,380 --> 00:34:25,502
Look, this is the worst idea, ever.

413
00:34:25,503 --> 00:34:27,377
What the fuck is this place?

414
00:34:27,378 --> 00:34:31,207
Bangkok is the capital of Thailand. Its
population is 12 million people...

415
00:34:31,208 --> 00:34:33,978
Alan, will you help!

416
00:34:39,841 --> 00:34:43,295
- The elevator!
- I'll get the button!

417
00:34:46,165 --> 00:34:50,088
- What the fuck is the deal with this monkey?
- That monkey gets it!

418
00:34:51,534 --> 00:34:53,159
- Come on!
- Fuck no!

419
00:34:53,160 --> 00:34:56,227
The powers out. We gotta take the stairs.

420
00:34:56,228 --> 00:34:57,672
- Oh fuck!
- Come on!

421
00:35:03,282 --> 00:35:05,036
Here it is!

422
00:35:05,531 --> 00:35:09,044
Feet first. I've done this before.

423
00:35:14,486 --> 00:35:16,498
Careful!

424
00:35:36,070 --> 00:35:38,730
- Stu!
- What?

425
00:35:40,801 --> 00:35:44,705
- We still have to find Teddy!
- Oh god.

426
00:35:52,959 --> 00:35:54,671
The roof!

427
00:35:54,672 --> 00:35:58,796
Teddy!

428
00:36:06,299 --> 00:36:09,375
- You guys see him?
- No!

429
00:36:18,351 --> 00:36:20,043
He's not here.

430
00:36:22,259 --> 00:36:25,939
I can't believe this is happening again.

431
00:36:28,105 --> 00:36:32,415
Ok, look. We'll handle this. You get
back there.

432
00:36:32,416 --> 00:36:36,026
You tell them that Alan and I got drunk
with him, we're still partying.

433
00:36:36,028 --> 00:36:41,239
- You gotta go get married!
- No! Not going back without Teddy!

434
00:36:41,241 --> 00:36:44,309
He's Lauren's little brother. He's lost,
he's injured.

435
00:36:45,963 --> 00:36:52,016
If I fuck this up, I lose everything.

436
00:36:53,529 --> 00:36:55,059
Ok.

437
00:36:56,125 --> 00:36:57,684
Alright.

438
00:36:59,095 --> 00:37:02,098
- Alan, check your pockets!
- What?

439
00:37:02,099 --> 00:37:05,025
You know the drill. C'mon there might
be clues.

440
00:37:05,026 --> 00:37:08,957
- Check your phones! Numbers, texts.
- That's a good idea!

441
00:37:09,701 --> 00:37:13,098
- I got nothing. Fuck!
- I got an text from Chow.

442
00:37:13,099 --> 00:37:15,952
- What time?
- Uh, 10 o'clock last night.

443
00:37:15,953 --> 00:37:20,265
- What's it say?
- "On my way, Niggahs"

444
00:37:20,267 --> 00:37:23,543
Oh, Niggahs... ok... hip hop.

445
00:37:26,033 --> 00:37:30,565
We are so... fucked!

446
00:37:30,566 --> 00:37:35,884
Hey Phil! Look who's back!

447
00:37:37,354 --> 00:37:41,358
We gotta get you out of the sun. You're
too hot.

448
00:37:42,909 --> 00:37:45,767
Phil, I really think we should go to
the American Consulate.

449
00:37:45,768 --> 00:37:49,263
For what? To report a dead body we shoved
into an ice machine?

450
00:37:49,264 --> 00:37:52,580
What are we gonna do? Keep walking around
in circles? Cause that's real productive.

451
00:37:52,581 --> 00:37:55,216
You know I'm trying to figure this thing
out here and your attitude is not helping.

452
00:37:55,217 --> 00:37:58,437
I'm sorry. It's a 100 degrees and we
don't have a plan.

453
00:37:58,438 --> 00:38:00,832
And all we've done is buy him hats and sodas.

454
00:38:00,833 --> 00:38:03,673
-What, it's a bag of Fanta!
- Alright, what do you want to do, Stu?

455
00:38:03,675 --> 00:38:04,799
I don't know!

456
00:38:04,800 --> 00:38:06,841
Well then stop yelling at me like it's my fuckin fault.

457
00:38:06,842 --> 00:38:08,434
It is your fault!

458
00:38:08,435 --> 00:38:10,882
All I wanted was a bachelor brunch.

459
00:38:10,883 --> 00:38:13,172
Shit! Shut up! It's Doug! Talk to me!

460
00:38:13,173 --> 00:38:16,849
I just got off the phone with Bangkok PD.
They've got him. He's ok.

461
00:38:16,850 --> 00:38:20,078
Oh thank god! Doug found him.

462
00:38:20,079 --> 00:38:21,926
- What happened?
- He got arrested.

463
00:38:21,927 --> 00:38:24,736
- Arrested? For what?
- Disorderly conduct.

464
00:38:24,737 --> 00:38:27,019
- Seriously?
- Yeah! He's ok though.

465
00:38:27,020 --> 00:38:30,645
They'll release him to you. No questions
asked. No one has to know.

466
00:38:30,896 --> 00:38:36,654
He's at the Ratra Wang police station.

467
00:38:36,655 --> 00:38:38,890
Ok. I'll call you when we get there.

468
00:38:38,891 --> 00:38:41,384
Teddy's in jail, but he's fine. We
gotta get a cab.

469
00:38:41,385 --> 00:38:43,554
- Ok!
- Alright!

470
00:38:47,988 --> 00:38:50,762
- Yes, I have his paperwork here.
- Okay.

471
00:38:50,763 --> 00:38:54,827
- He has been treated.
- Sounds good.

472
00:38:54,828 --> 00:38:58,300
We're good. They've processed him for
release.

473
00:38:59,112 --> 00:39:01,710
They put him in the drunk tank. He's fine.

474
00:39:01,711 --> 00:39:05,638
Sixteen years old and spent a night in
jail. Can you imagine?

475
00:39:05,639 --> 00:39:09,066
Haha! We love to party.

476
00:39:11,780 --> 00:39:13,325
Here we go!

477
00:39:14,577 --> 00:39:17,266
- Wait who's this fuckin guy?
- Teddy Sisay.

478
00:39:17,267 --> 00:39:20,614
No, no, no, no. That's the wrong guy! Sir!

479
00:39:20,615 --> 00:39:25,347
Excuse me.. I'm sorry. Officer. You brought
the wrong guy. That's not Teddy!

480
00:39:25,348 --> 00:39:29,465
Of course it is!
We have his ID's and everything!

481
00:39:29,466 --> 00:39:32,613
These were in his pocket
when we made the arrest.

482
00:39:32,614 --> 00:39:34,680
They were in his pocket?

483
00:39:35,653 --> 00:39:39,750
Excuse me, sir! How did you get this stuff?

484
00:39:40,465 --> 00:39:42,194
Hello?

485
00:39:42,195 --> 00:39:47,753
Teddy doesn't speak. We tried English,
Thai, Chinese... Nothing.

486
00:39:47,754 --> 00:39:49,534
Let me ask you something.

487
00:39:49,536 --> 00:39:54,528
Does he look like he works out at Bally
Total Fitness in Palo Alto, California?

488
00:39:54,529 --> 00:40:01,045
Look. We arrest a lot of people. We cannot
analyze everything.

489
00:40:01,046 --> 00:40:05,371
- What do you expect us to do with this guy?
- Not my problem!

490
00:40:06,096 --> 00:40:12,330
Hey guys, I think he knows us. Hi. Hello.

491
00:40:15,184 --> 00:40:19,628
You know where our friend is, Teddy?
He's missing!

492
00:40:19,630 --> 00:40:23,460
- Stu, forget it. The guys worthless.
- He knows something!

493
00:40:23,461 --> 00:40:26,431
He's wearing Teddy's sweatshirt.

494
00:40:26,432 --> 00:40:32,571
Maybe he just doesn't understand. I'll
act it out. Yeah, like charades. Watch.

495
00:40:32,572 --> 00:40:35,142
- Two words.
- Is it a movie?

496
00:40:35,143 --> 00:40:37,897
This is not for you, Alan!

497
00:40:39,124 --> 00:40:45,718
- American teenager... in Asia.
- Karate Kid, with Jaden Smith.

498
00:40:45,719 --> 00:40:48,559
It's easy cause you're talking to him.

499
00:40:48,560 --> 00:40:52,381
Stu, it's a waste of time! Just leave
this fucking guy here.

500
00:40:52,383 --> 00:40:56,451
Here's something. There are 500 thousand
monks living in Thailand.

501
00:40:56,452 --> 00:41:03,056
It is not uncommon for some monks to take
a vow of silence, at the age of eight.

502
00:41:03,058 --> 00:41:04,186
There you go.

503
00:41:04,187 --> 00:41:07,011
- Anything else in that envelope?
- Nah, it's empty.

504
00:41:08,710 --> 00:41:13,928
Woah, hang on. A drink card from White
Lion bar in Bangkok?

505
00:41:14,743 --> 00:41:17,145
Worth a shot.

506
00:41:18,680 --> 00:41:21,815
Jesus christ! Is this the right street?

507
00:41:21,816 --> 00:41:24,276
That's what it says.

508
00:41:30,117 --> 00:41:35,275
- Whoa! This is the White Lion!
- What the fuck happened here?

509
00:41:35,276 --> 00:41:37,924
Holy shit!

510
00:41:37,949 --> 00:41:42,149
<i>(yelling in Thai)</i>

511
00:41:42,279 --> 00:41:45,350
- Let's...
- We should probably...

512
00:41:49,834 --> 00:41:51,477
That's ok.

513
00:41:51,478 --> 00:41:54,751
What the fuck is going on here?

514
00:41:56,106 --> 00:42:01,592
- Whoa, guys. Check it out!
- Holy shit! Stu, look!

515
00:42:01,593 --> 00:42:07,853
That's my face. Go, go go!
Nice work, Alan!

516
00:42:09,448 --> 00:42:12,630
- Hello?
- Be with you in a minute!

517
00:42:16,210 --> 00:42:19,672
- Excuse me.
- Oh, look who it is!

518
00:42:19,673 --> 00:42:23,549
- So what do ya think?
- What, I'm sorry?

519
00:42:23,550 --> 00:42:29,039
- The tattoo. You love it?
- Uh, no. Actually, I hate it.

520
00:42:29,040 --> 00:42:31,996
- No refunds. Get the fuck out!
- Wait a second!

521
00:42:31,997 --> 00:42:33,629
Read the sign!

522
00:42:33,630 --> 00:42:35,226
NO REFUNDS. GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE.

523
00:42:35,227 --> 00:42:37,955
We don't want any refunds. We just have
a couple of questions.

524
00:42:37,956 --> 00:42:40,083
We're trying to figure out what went
down last night.

525
00:42:40,084 --> 00:42:44,915
What went down? Take a look at what you
did outside. Half the neighborhood went down.

526
00:42:44,916 --> 00:42:48,958
- We did that?
- You don't remember getting into a bar fight at the White Lion?

527
00:42:48,960 --> 00:42:54,491
- Starting a full on fuckin riot?
- Sir, we don't remember anything.

528
00:42:58,594 --> 00:43:01,883
Oh boy...

529
00:43:02,820 --> 00:43:05,739
Check this out!

530
00:43:09,028 --> 00:43:11,347
Oh shit!

531
00:43:14,210 --> 00:43:18,135
<i>Fuck the Police!</i>

532
00:43:21,330 --> 00:43:24,217
There's Teddy! He was with us!

533
00:43:37,718 --> 00:43:39,290
Jesus christ!

534
00:43:39,291 --> 00:43:42,151
That's when the cops arrived and started
cracking skulls.

535
00:43:42,152 --> 00:43:45,063
I took you guys and hid you in the
shop here.

536
00:43:45,064 --> 00:43:49,526
Then you decided to get a tattoo.
You cried like a little bitch.

537
00:43:49,527 --> 00:43:52,902
This kid is fucking nine years old. He's
got balls twice your size.

538
00:43:52,903 --> 00:43:56,816
- Show him your balls, Nao!
- No, no, no. That's ok.

539
00:43:56,817 --> 00:44:00,535
Listen, we're looking for our friend Teddy.
Have you seen him?

540
00:44:00,536 --> 00:44:02,768
Not since last night. Why? What happened?

541
00:44:02,769 --> 00:44:06,561
Yeah, I'm supposed to marry his sister
tomorrow and we kinda lost him.

542
00:44:07,849 --> 00:44:12,229
- Oh well. Then fuck it!
- What do you mean, fuck it?

543
00:44:12,230 --> 00:44:15,923
Bangkok has him now and she'll never
let him go.

544
00:44:15,924 --> 00:44:20,221
- You hear that, huh? Is this what you
wanted? You happy now?

545
00:44:20,222 --> 00:44:23,839
You're wasting your time. These monks
take their vow shit seriously.

546
00:44:23,840 --> 00:44:29,163
Look at this. That's the sign of the Chang
Mai Monastery, just outside of town.

547
00:44:29,164 --> 00:44:32,501
Maybe somebody over there can get him
to talk.

548
00:44:37,102 --> 00:44:39,847
- Ok, can we just go over this one
more time? You got the beer from...

549
00:44:39,948 --> 00:44:42,976
- The hotel bar. They gave me a sealed case.
- Right.

550
00:44:44,077 --> 00:44:46,710
- But, who gave it to you?
- The bartender.

551
00:44:47,578 --> 00:44:50,035
And then you brought em out and
I  opened them.

552
00:44:50,036 --> 00:44:53,688
Yeah and Doug had one and he was fine
so it's not the beer.

553
00:44:53,689 --> 00:44:56,205
- So what the hell happened?
- I have no idea!

554
00:44:56,206 --> 00:44:59,707
Hey guys. Check it out. He's got a
Chinese boner.

555
00:44:59,708 --> 00:45:03,014
Alan, come on! Cut it out!

556
00:45:05,469 --> 00:45:09,904
- That is so wrong!
- Don't stop monkey, keep doing it.

557
00:45:19,872 --> 00:45:25,085
When a monkey nibbles on a penis
it's funny in any language!

558
00:45:26,297 --> 00:45:28,489
Keep doing it!

559
00:45:30,342 --> 00:45:31,751
Alright, thank you!

560
00:45:33,811 --> 00:45:37,503
Bye Shannon! Bye Little Wayne!

561
00:45:47,436 --> 00:45:50,365
Wow! So beautiful!

562
00:45:52,561 --> 00:45:55,217
What is this, a PF Chang's?

563
00:45:56,499 --> 00:45:59,487
Ah, they're meditating.

564
00:45:59,488 --> 00:46:02,840
- Such a peaceful people!
- Yeah.

565
00:46:02,841 --> 00:46:06,860
- Knock, knock! Hello!
- Alan! Show some respect!

566
00:46:06,861 --> 00:46:11,085
- Don't get up guys.
- We brought one of your guys back.

567
00:46:11,086 --> 00:46:14,074
He's really funny. He's really nice
and cool.

568
00:46:14,075 --> 00:46:17,683
Hi, how you doing. You the one in charge?

569
00:46:20,318 --> 00:46:23,382
- Excuse me... ow... Wait!
- Stop it! Calm down!

570
00:46:24,737 --> 00:46:29,614
Hold on. It's because we're talking.

571
00:46:29,615 --> 00:46:32,460
God damn it! Oh! Stop!

572
00:46:32,461 --> 00:46:35,516
Wait it's me!

573
00:46:35,517 --> 00:46:37,412
Oh I get it.

574
00:46:40,750 --> 00:46:44,429
No talk! No talk! Shh.. Ok...

575
00:46:50,125 --> 00:46:52,513
Ok.

576
00:47:12,004 --> 00:47:17,011
Late last night, you climbed the walls
of our monastery.

577
00:47:17,012 --> 00:47:24,174
Shouting out questions about love, marriage
and the meaning of life.

578
00:47:24,646 --> 00:47:28,270
Poor brother Han was meditating alone
in the garden.

579
00:47:28,271 --> 00:47:32,646
- And you took him.
- Oh my god!

580
00:47:33,040 --> 00:47:37,611
- We kidnapped a monk.
- We live an alternative life style.

581
00:47:37,612 --> 00:47:43,062
We are so sorry about that, but we weren't
ourselves last night.

582
00:47:43,063 --> 00:47:49,397
Yep, things kinda spun outta control a little
bit. But there's a boy who's missing and hurt.

583
00:47:49,398 --> 00:47:52,698
Can you find out if he knows where our
friend is?

584
00:47:52,699 --> 00:47:56,200
Brother Han took a vow of silence many
years ago.

585
00:47:56,201 --> 00:47:58,369
It would be useless to try.

586
00:47:58,370 --> 00:48:02,643
Well maybe he can write down what happened,
on a piece of paper?

587
00:48:02,644 --> 00:48:05,869
Actually Phil, that would be cheating.
Isn't that right, Grand Wizard.

588
00:48:05,870 --> 00:48:08,920
- Alan!
- I'm afraid fatty is right.

589
00:48:08,921 --> 00:48:10,913
See?... What?

590
00:48:10,914 --> 00:48:14,960
None of us will ever know what brother
Han knows.

591
00:48:15,961 --> 00:48:19,413
Oh, alright. Well, so much for holy people.
Bunch of bald assholes. C'mon, let's go.

592
00:48:19,414 --> 00:48:23,640
Hey you know what! FYI! You may want to
put some signs up that say no talking...

593
00:48:23,641 --> 00:48:25,988
- ...before you unleash your dragon.
- Yeah, that was a little rough.

594
00:48:25,989 --> 00:48:29,228
And "your welcome" for bringing him
back safe.

595
00:48:29,229 --> 00:48:32,201
- You know we found him in the drunk tank.
- Yeah well we did take him in the first place.

596
00:48:32,252 --> 00:48:36,172
- C'mon guys, let's go.
- Wait!

597
00:48:37,045 --> 00:48:42,970
The Buddha teach, every memory lives
somewhere deep within.

598
00:48:42,971 --> 00:48:47,937
Perhaps you should bring your question
to the Garden of Meditation.

599
00:48:47,938 --> 00:48:51,162
- Did you understand a word he just said?
- Yeah, yeah. About two thirds.

600
00:48:51,163 --> 00:48:52,877
He said something about the Garden of
Meditation?

601
00:48:52,878 --> 00:48:55,625
No, he said he's farting because of
his medication.

602
00:48:55,626 --> 00:48:58,041
I get that.

603
00:49:03,163 --> 00:49:08,340
It's a waste of time. I don't remember
anything. Do you?

604
00:49:08,341 --> 00:49:13,772
No. I got nothing. Alan?

605
00:49:16,008 --> 00:49:17,799
Alan!

606
00:49:20,698 --> 00:49:23,862
<i>"Every memory lives somewhere deep within"</i>

607
00:49:23,959 --> 00:49:25,485
<i>- Sweetie.
- What?</i>

608
00:49:25,831 --> 00:49:27,127
<i>You have visitors.</i>

609
00:49:27,411 --> 00:49:29,242
<i>- Hey, Alan!
- Hey, guys!</i>

610
00:49:29,368 --> 00:49:31,244
<i>- Hey, Phil.
- Hey buddy!</i>

611
00:49:31,351 --> 00:49:33,208
<i>Stu would like to invite you to his wedding.</i>

612
00:49:33,401 --> 00:49:37,155
<i>- Is this true, Stuart?
- Yeah, why not. It'll be fun.</i>

613
00:49:38,558 --> 00:49:39,531
<i>Fuck!</i>

614
00:49:39,626 --> 00:49:43,344
<i>- For Lauren and Stu!
- Cheers!</i>

615
00:49:45,997 --> 00:49:49,195
<i>- Chow!
- We had a sick night bitches!</i>

616
00:49:50,642 --> 00:49:52,069
<i>Alan, what the fuck!</i>

617
00:49:53,355 --> 00:49:55,275
<i>Is that person coming to the wedding?</i>

618
00:49:55,373 --> 00:49:58,962
<i>- There is no wolfpack.
- Alan, Alan, don't do that!</i>

619
00:49:59,046 --> 00:50:00,716
<i>And finally...</i>

620
00:50:00,829 --> 00:50:03,173
<i>The three best friends anyone could have.</i>

621
00:50:12,999 --> 00:50:15,700
<i>Fuck the Police!</i>

622
00:50:27,698 --> 00:50:29,019
I know where to go.

623
00:50:32,318 --> 00:50:35,967
- What do you think, Alan?
- This is the place.

624
00:50:36,429 --> 00:50:38,067
C'mon. Let's go.

625
00:50:42,923 --> 00:50:44,821
I don't remember any of this!

626
00:50:46,219 --> 00:50:49,602
- Yeah Alan, you sure this is the place?
- Yeah, pretty sure.

627
00:50:57,882 --> 00:50:59,768
Rose! Harmony!

628
00:51:00,523 --> 00:51:02,752
Is he coming or what? I've been waiting
all day for him.

629
00:51:02,913 --> 00:51:07,206
- I'm sorry. Waiting for who?
- Chow, that dick ass fuck!

630
00:51:08,239 --> 00:51:10,717
- Why? What's wrong?
- Nothings wrong.

631
00:51:11,268 --> 00:51:16,042
Ok, good. Look at this. Look what I
bring for him. Check it out, huh.

632
00:51:16,185 --> 00:51:18,575
- No, no!
- $ 6,000 American.

633
00:51:18,704 --> 00:51:20,889
Wow looks so real!

634
00:51:27,495 --> 00:51:28,735
Sorry!

635
00:51:29,117 --> 00:51:34,409
- Alan, what the fuck!
- It's ok. The gun, it's very sensitive.

636
00:51:34,883 --> 00:51:36,920
Everybody ok?

637
00:51:37,649 --> 00:51:42,911
Ok, then get the fuck back to work!
Come on. Music, please!

638
00:51:43,714 --> 00:51:45,189
Where is my 6,000 dollars?

639
00:51:45,327 --> 00:51:48,991
6,000? No, no, no. This is Chow's deal. We
got nothing to do with that.

640
00:51:49,225 --> 00:51:51,095
Un-fucking believable.

641
00:51:51,253 --> 00:51:54,906
This guy, if he backs out again, the
shits gonna catch up with him.

642
00:51:55,029 --> 00:51:58,825
He's made a lot of enemies in this town,
and now they're gonna be your enemies.

643
00:51:58,922 --> 00:52:00,283
That's not fair!

644
00:52:00,418 --> 00:52:02,889
Ok listen. We're just looking for a
little kid.

645
00:52:03,003 --> 00:52:04,877
- 2,000 dollars.
- What!

646
00:52:05,020 --> 00:52:07,783
I don't know, maybe more. How young you
want this kid to be?

647
00:52:07,889 --> 00:52:14,695
No, no! Sorry, you misunderstood. We're
looking for our friend... 16 years old.

648
00:52:14,806 --> 00:52:16,612
- Teddy.
- Teddy?

649
00:52:16,839 --> 00:52:19,050
- Yeah he was here with you guys last night.
- He was?

650
00:52:19,185 --> 00:52:20,754
Do you know if he left with us?

651
00:52:20,908 --> 00:52:23,528
I don't know. You were in the corner all
night with Kimmy.

652
00:52:23,621 --> 00:52:25,277
- I didn't see you leave.
- Kimmy?

653
00:52:25,411 --> 00:52:28,703
- Is she here?
- Yes, she's in the back. She just came for her shit.

654
00:52:28,834 --> 00:52:30,154
Go and talk to her.

655
00:52:30,544 --> 00:52:33,061
Alright, listen. I'm sorry about everything
that happened.

656
00:52:33,178 --> 00:52:35,562
Listen to me, ok? Pay attention to what
I'm going to talk to you know.

657
00:52:35,668 --> 00:52:39,722
When you see Chow, you tell him Samir
says "Hello".

658
00:52:39,814 --> 00:52:40,610
Okay!

659
00:52:40,703 --> 00:52:45,436
But do it like that, ok! "Hello" like
threatening. Like, ironic.

660
00:52:46,721 --> 00:52:47,932
- "Hellooo"
- Okay!

661
00:52:55,835 --> 00:52:57,414
Go away! Go away!

662
00:52:57,883 --> 00:52:58,847
??

663
00:52:59,132 --> 00:53:02,608
Of course I remember him. He was buying
shots for everyone.

664
00:53:02,741 --> 00:53:06,322
Nice kid! His parents must be so proud.

665
00:53:06,436 --> 00:53:07,870
You have no idea.

666
00:53:08,165 --> 00:53:10,631
Ok, so do you remember if he left with us?

667
00:53:10,732 --> 00:53:14,549
Yeah, you were all leaving together, but
you almost forgot this one right here.

668
00:53:14,681 --> 00:53:16,733
Right, super star?

669
00:53:17,930 --> 00:53:22,093
This one was following me around like a
little puppy dog. All night.

670
00:53:22,409 --> 00:53:26,324
Saying he'd fallen in love with me. Asked
me to marry him.

671
00:53:27,775 --> 00:53:29,556
Classic Stu!

672
00:53:30,560 --> 00:53:33,238
- We didn't get married, did we?
- Course not!

673
00:53:33,408 --> 00:53:35,819
We just had some fun in the Chardonnay room.

674
00:53:35,982 --> 00:53:39,569
- What happens in the Chardonnay room?
- Let's just stay on task.

675
00:53:39,669 --> 00:53:44,980
I danced for him. He tickled me. We had sex.

676
00:53:45,111 --> 00:53:47,668
- Fuck!
- It's ok. You're not married yet.

677
00:53:47,783 --> 00:53:49,609
- No big deal.
- It's cheating!

678
00:53:49,705 --> 00:53:52,588
No offense to you. You're a lovely woman.

679
00:53:52,731 --> 00:53:54,812
It's a violation of my moral code.

680
00:53:54,949 --> 00:54:00,390
Don't be sad. Stu you loved it. You were
crying, saying how special it was.

681
00:54:00,516 --> 00:54:04,336
- Wait! I'm sorry. He was crying?
- What a baby. He was crying.

682
00:54:04,449 --> 00:54:08,943
You should have seen him. He was so
sexy. The way he moved around.

683
00:54:09,289 --> 00:54:12,061
I had to ask him to slow down so I didn't
drop my load too quick.

684
00:54:14,747 --> 00:54:19,755
- Load? What load?
- Oh, you know... My sperms.

685
00:54:21,279 --> 00:54:24,669
I think your English is off. You're talking
about my sperm!

686
00:54:25,834 --> 00:54:28,903
- Where would your sperm come from?
- From my balls!

687
00:54:29,067 --> 00:54:31,458
- Hold on! Back up!
- Wait... Are you...

688
00:54:34,080 --> 00:54:35,838
Hey. You're in Bangkok, sweetie.

689
00:54:35,933 --> 00:54:38,363
- There's a reason they don't call it "Bang-cunt".
- Oh!

690
00:54:43,842 --> 00:54:45,494
- Oh god!
- Wow.

691
00:54:49,622 --> 00:54:51,610
I don't get it. Is this a magic show?

692
00:54:52,932 --> 00:54:57,282
Come on, Stu, it was beautiful. We climaxed
at the same time.

693
00:54:58,197 --> 00:54:59,774
How's that work?

694
00:54:59,883 --> 00:55:02,655
Shoot my load into you. Shoot your load
on the floor.

695
00:55:03,339 --> 00:55:07,313
- Ok!
- You ruined me. Ruined bottom.

696
00:55:08,535 --> 00:55:10,714
Oh god!

697
00:55:17,761 --> 00:55:22,841
- Stu! It's not the end of the world.
- Sorry, but I'm so confused.

698
00:55:23,965 --> 00:55:27,046
I made love to a man... with boobies.

699
00:55:27,345 --> 00:55:31,008
Listen. I promise you no ones ever gonna
find out about this.

700
00:55:31,130 --> 00:55:32,800
But we found out about it.

701
00:55:32,910 --> 00:55:35,143
And then we forget. That's what we do!

702
00:55:35,304 --> 00:55:38,633
I do so much fucked up shit. And I just
forget about it.

703
00:55:38,760 --> 00:55:41,957
- Yeah?
- Yeah! Just forget! It goes away!

704
00:55:42,483 --> 00:55:45,650
That might be harder to go away, but in
time it'll happen.

705
00:55:45,798 --> 00:55:50,643
I certainly do. Just gonna forget about it.

706
00:55:50,795 --> 00:55:52,743
- Never happened.
- Great!

707
00:55:53,977 --> 00:55:56,014
Phone! Phone! Who is it? Answer!

708
00:55:56,557 --> 00:55:59,467
Lauren's dad. He just reminded me...

709
00:55:59,583 --> 00:56:01,308
- Answer it!
- I can't.

710
00:56:01,418 --> 00:56:04,159
What! He might know something about Teddy.
C'mon we still have a shot here.

711
00:56:04,290 --> 00:56:07,863
Get your head back into the fucking game, Stu!

712
00:56:12,687 --> 00:56:13,819
Hello?

713
00:56:13,921 --> 00:56:17,224
<i>Who takes an all day fishing trip the
day before a wedding?</i>

714
00:56:17,388 --> 00:56:22,292
- Yeah, I guess that is kinda stupid.
- Put Teddy on the phone.

715
00:56:24,853 --> 00:56:27,586
- Teddy's seasick actually.
<i>- Seasick?</i>

716
00:56:27,701 --> 00:56:33,042
- Teddy's been a Maritime cadet since he was nine.
- That's weird, cause he's puking everywhere.

717
00:56:33,208 --> 00:56:36,028
I'm gonna tell you something that you do
not know.

718
00:56:36,500 --> 00:56:39,783
- I don't like you.
- Yeah,I knew that already.

719
00:56:39,893 --> 00:56:41,666
<i>If my daughter chooses you,
that's her problem.</i>

720
00:56:41,763 --> 00:56:43,416
This is ??.
Hey it's Phil Winnick!

721
00:56:43,515 --> 00:56:46,420
Listen, I apologize. We've been reelin
in some crazy Marlin and I just wanna say...

722
00:56:48,717 --> 00:56:50,010
Phil!

723
00:56:50,125 --> 00:56:51,666
- Jesus!
- Phil!

724
00:56:52,022 --> 00:56:53,516
Fuck me!

725
00:56:53,533 --> 00:56:56,762
- Give us back our monkey!
- What monkey? Get your own monkey!

726
00:56:56,796 --> 00:56:59,542
Come on, you asshole, the fucking monkey!

727
00:56:59,969 --> 00:57:01,368
Come on!

728
00:57:01,477 --> 00:57:03,809
Anytime, Alan. He's pointing a gun at us!

729
00:57:03,936 --> 00:57:04,972
This is our monkey!

730
00:57:05,102 --> 00:57:07,281
No one's getting shot over a fucking monkey!

731
00:57:07,367 --> 00:57:09,099
Hand him over, now!

732
00:57:09,596 --> 00:57:11,968
God, I've never given him no monkeys.

733
00:57:12,446 --> 00:57:15,022
No, no ...

734
00:57:16,907 --> 00:57:20,707
Hey Phil, check it out. He's got a banana
on his helmet. He's the real deal.

735
00:57:20,822 --> 00:57:22,011
What the fuck's happening?

736
00:57:22,123 --> 00:57:25,050
Hold on! How did this happen? Do you
know where our friend is?

737
00:57:25,165 --> 00:57:29,783
- Yeah. Sixteen years old. Asian kid.
<i>- (says something in Russian?)</i>

738
00:57:30,464 --> 00:57:32,382
No, I don't understand what you said! No, I
didn't understand!

739
00:57:32,731 --> 00:57:35,124
What'd he say?

740
00:57:35,218 --> 00:57:37,283
He said fuck you and your questions!

741
00:57:39,907 --> 00:57:43,478
- Oh, my arm!
- Philip, are you okay?

742
00:57:44,003 --> 00:57:46,219
Oh I got shot! Fuck! Fuck this!

743
00:57:47,993 --> 00:57:49,834
It's alright, Phil! It's alright!

744
00:57:49,941 --> 00:57:52,253
We'll figure this out and get the monkey
back, I promise.

745
00:57:52,367 --> 00:57:56,322
Who gives a fuck about the monkey!

746
00:57:56,551 --> 00:58:02,553
- What the fuck is going on?
- Stu, am I gonna be ok? You're a doctor.

747
00:58:02,681 --> 00:58:04,381
I don't know, let me look!

748
00:58:06,636 --> 00:58:07,767
What?

749
00:58:08,941 --> 00:58:10,320
Don't look at it!

750
00:58:10,532 --> 00:58:13,866
Stuart Price! Get your ass back over here!

751
00:58:13,977 --> 00:58:15,644
- You got shot!
- I know!

752
00:58:31,731 --> 00:58:34,954
- Whoa, you all right?
- Yeah, I'm ok.

753
00:58:36,151 --> 00:58:40,087
Actually, bullet just grazed my arm.
Eight stitches.

754
00:58:40,792 --> 00:58:43,691
Only cost six dollars. How is that even
possible?

755
00:58:43,806 --> 00:58:45,813
How's any of this even possible?

756
00:58:49,511 --> 00:58:52,938
If I was a foot to my left, Stu, I'd be dead.

757
00:58:55,268 --> 00:58:56,877
What are we gonna do?

758
00:59:02,457 --> 00:59:04,741
I'm sorry guys. This wasn't part of the plan.

759
00:59:06,847 --> 00:59:11,376
- What plan, Alan?
- I've said too much already.

760
00:59:19,700 --> 00:59:22,143
Alan! What plan?

761
00:59:24,396 --> 00:59:27,725
- It's all Teddy's fault.
- What are you talking about, Alan?

762
00:59:27,858 --> 00:59:30,117
Why is he even here? He's not part of
the wolf pack!

763
00:59:30,232 --> 00:59:34,108
- Alan, what did you do?
- It's not my fault!

764
00:59:34,126 --> 00:59:37,200
Teddy shouldn't have been sharing from his bag.

765
00:59:38,229 --> 00:59:40,655
- What bag?
- The marshmallows.

766
00:59:40,752 --> 00:59:42,519
I had a separate bag just for Teddy.

767
00:59:42,641 --> 00:59:44,295
But it was dark and it was hard to keep
track.

768
00:59:44,422 --> 00:59:47,781
And then, you almost sat on em. I couldn't
tell which was which.

769
00:59:47,896 --> 00:59:50,752
- It was mayhem!
- What did you do to the marshmallows, Alan?

770
00:59:51,353 --> 00:59:53,864
Alan, what did you do?

771
00:59:54,275 --> 00:59:55,996
Isn't it obvious?

772
00:59:56,090 --> 01:00:00,385
I spiked them with muscle relaxers. And
plus my ADHD medication.

773
01:00:00,525 --> 01:00:02,482
- What?
- You drugged us again?!

774
01:00:02,583 --> 01:00:06,534
Not you! I just wanted to knock out Teddy for a
little while so we could finally enjoy the weekend.

775
01:00:06,648 --> 01:00:11,121
Enjoy the weekend? Alan, you told me that
you didn't do anything!

776
01:00:11,271 --> 01:00:13,004
Alan, you swore to god!

777
01:00:13,210 --> 01:00:15,052
I just wanted things to stay the same.

778
01:00:15,202 --> 01:00:19,827
Like at my face! You ruined my life!

779
01:00:20,251 --> 01:00:21,543
You're not my friend!

780
01:00:21,644 --> 01:00:24,303
Don't say that, Phil! You're serious?
Even in America?

781
01:00:24,412 --> 01:00:28,352
- Yes!
- Oh God! Don't say that, Phil!

782
01:00:28,477 --> 01:00:31,462
- Don't start crying, Alan!
- You're the bearded devil!

783
01:00:31,557 --> 01:00:34,556
You liked it! You smiled at me when I
handed you the bag with marshmallows.

784
01:00:34,692 --> 01:00:38,740
Because I like marshmallows, you
fucking psycho!

785
01:00:39,638 --> 01:00:42,279
Hey! Whoa! Hold on!

786
01:00:42,504 --> 01:00:44,027
Enough!

787
01:00:44,274 --> 01:00:47,093
- Why, Alan? Why?
- Stu!

788
01:00:47,407 --> 01:00:49,606
Because we're the three best
friends, remember?

789
01:00:50,035 --> 01:00:51,829
Remember?

790
01:00:51,830 --> 01:00:53,433
Stu, that's enough...

791
01:00:58,416 --> 01:01:01,401
Guys, we can't fall apart now. We gotta
stick together.

792
01:01:06,922 --> 01:01:09,911
- Alan, what's that written on your belly?
- What? Huh?

793
01:01:11,249 --> 01:01:14,465
Lebua Hotel, Saturday six pm.

794
01:01:14,564 --> 01:01:16,368
- You write that?
- No!

795
01:01:18,480 --> 01:01:20,513
Shit, that's in 20 minutes.

796
01:01:21,166 --> 01:01:23,034
What about England, Phil? Will we still
be friends there?

797
01:01:23,152 --> 01:01:28,147
Alan, I already told you. It was in the heat of the
moment. We're still friends. All over the world.

798
01:01:28,318 --> 01:01:31,047
- Even Great Britain?
- Yeah.

799
01:01:33,390 --> 01:01:35,012
What about you, Stu?

800
01:01:36,291 --> 01:01:37,697
We'll see.

801
01:01:39,450 --> 01:01:41,191
Gentlemen, follow me.

802
01:01:56,204 --> 01:01:57,483
Here you go.

803
01:02:02,091 --> 01:02:04,125
Well. About time! Sit down.

804
01:02:04,783 --> 01:02:06,728
Come on, sit.

805
01:02:07,696 --> 01:02:09,468
Wow, you guys look like shit.

806
01:02:12,463 --> 01:02:13,853
- Uh, do we know you?
- Hey!

807
01:02:13,984 --> 01:02:17,315
Take off your fuckin hat. You're in a
restaurant for christs sake. C'mon.

808
01:02:22,987 --> 01:02:25,956
Ok, listen. We have no clue what's
going on here.

809
01:02:26,066 --> 01:02:29,933
You know, they sell a Plum whiskey here,
it's fuckin unreal.

810
01:02:30,283 --> 01:02:37,750
Seriously, it will absolutely fuck you up! Oh, I'm
sorry. You guys already got fucked up, didn't you.

811
01:02:39,411 --> 01:02:44,834
- Uh, listen, I'm a little confused. How did you...
- You know what? I am a little fuckin confused!

812
01:02:44,953 --> 01:02:51,848
Where's Chow? With the fuckin account
code and the fuckin password!

813
01:02:57,352 --> 01:03:03,126
We don't know anything about any codes. We're
just trying to find our friend.

814
01:03:05,630 --> 01:03:10,158
- Teddy?
- Yes! Teddy! Have you seen?

815
01:03:14,168 --> 01:03:15,483
Hmm, let's see...

816
01:03:17,103 --> 01:03:18,446
There's Teddy!

817
01:03:19,607 --> 01:03:22,754
Holy shit! It's from last night.

818
01:03:24,405 --> 01:03:27,519
- Who are you?
- I'm a businessman.

819
01:03:27,734 --> 01:03:31,977
And I've invested a large chunk of capital
in your friend Chow.

820
01:03:32,252 --> 01:03:36,089
And in return, he was supposed to transfer
my profits electronically.

821
01:03:36,203 --> 01:03:39,487
About five fuckin minutes ago.

822
01:03:40,402 --> 01:03:44,185
So last night, we took Teddy as insurance.

823
01:03:44,972 --> 01:03:50,394
- Oh my god! Is he okay?
- Oh my god, I wasn't done talking.

824
01:03:51,371 --> 01:03:54,694
You tell Chow, that we are having breakfast
on the roof of this hotel...

825
01:03:54,787 --> 01:03:58,376
...tomorrow morning at eight am.

826
01:03:58,475 --> 01:04:00,533
Or if he makes the transfer, you will
get Teddy.

827
01:04:00,655 --> 01:04:04,244
If not well then hey, you know...
it's Bangkok.

828
01:04:07,013 --> 01:04:09,142
That's your cue to get the fuck out of here.

829
01:04:15,892 --> 01:04:17,682
Hey, you know what? Leave the hat.

830
01:04:19,553 --> 01:04:20,860
Alan leave the hat.

831
01:04:23,136 --> 01:04:24,664
Atta boy.

832
01:04:33,958 --> 01:04:37,602
We're fucked! Chow's dead. What do we do now?

833
01:04:37,697 --> 01:04:41,221
The guy doesn't give a shit about Chow, Stu.
This whole things about a fucking bank account.

834
01:04:43,646 --> 01:04:46,315
Let's just go back to the hotel. We'll
search Chow's body.

835
01:04:46,414 --> 01:04:49,069
Hopefully the password's in his
wallet or something.

836
01:04:49,729 --> 01:04:52,122
- And what if it isn't?
- He's gonna kill Teddy.

837
01:04:52,234 --> 01:04:56,038
Just relax. We have until 8am tomorrow
to figure it out.

838
01:04:59,417 --> 01:05:04,428
First the monkey and now my hat. How
much worse can this day get.

839
01:05:08,524 --> 01:05:10,375
Jesus christ!

840
01:05:17,833 --> 01:05:28,252
<i>Well we're livin here in Alan town. And
he's drivin our lives into the ground.</i>

841
01:05:29,114 --> 01:05:33,386
<i>When we woke up we were wasted and drunk.</i>

842
01:05:33,484 --> 01:05:39,242
<i>Phil got shot. We got beaten by a monk.</i>

843
01:05:41,517 --> 01:05:46,303
<i>I was happy, and my life was good.</i>

844
01:05:46,857 --> 01:05:51,430
<i>Getting married like a dentist should.</i>

845
01:05:51,531 --> 01:05:55,173
<i>Roasting marshmallows on a stick.</i>

846
01:05:55,318 --> 01:06:01,710
<i>I got fucked in the ass... by a girl
with a dick.</i>

847
01:06:02,909 --> 01:06:04,625
Oh yeah, remember that.

848
01:06:07,268 --> 01:06:11,524
<i>And we're livin in Alan town.</i>

849
01:06:14,084 --> 01:06:15,542
There's water everywhere.

850
01:06:16,362 --> 01:06:19,307
Yeah it's cause it melted, Stu. The
fuckin powers out.

851
01:06:19,391 --> 01:06:22,241
With an inadequate electrical grid,
serving millions of people

852
01:06:22,354 --> 01:06:25,652
Bangkok experiences 1500 power
outages per year.

853
01:06:25,764 --> 01:06:27,764
Seriously, Alan. That's enough!

854
01:06:27,928 --> 01:06:29,323
Out of the way!

855
01:06:35,910 --> 01:06:37,187
We got it.

856
01:06:41,959 --> 01:06:44,642
Oh my god!

857
01:06:46,134 --> 01:06:49,006
Chow, calm down!

858
01:06:49,101 --> 01:06:50,896
- You put the chill on me?
- No, no!

859
01:06:54,750 --> 01:06:56,309
It's okay.

860
01:06:56,879 --> 01:06:58,668
Relax!

861
01:07:07,156 --> 01:07:11,404
It's just us. Breathe!

862
01:07:11,550 --> 01:07:12,752
It was so cold.

863
01:07:12,852 --> 01:07:15,209
- We're gonna warm you up.
- I was so cold!

864
01:07:16,284 --> 01:07:20,170
- You did good, buddy. You did good.
- I did good.

865
01:07:25,741 --> 01:07:26,940
Feelin better?

866
01:07:28,221 --> 01:07:30,962
- Alright, you warm enough?
- I don't know.

867
01:07:31,067 --> 01:07:32,986
Come feel my bowels and tell me.

868
01:07:33,083 --> 01:07:36,008
I've been locked in a fuckin ice box
all day!

869
01:07:36,492 --> 01:07:39,165
Hey Alan, if you want my sunglasses...

870
01:07:39,261 --> 01:07:42,361
...just ask Chow. You don't have to kill me.

871
01:07:42,458 --> 01:07:46,540
Chow, nobody killed you. You were already
dead. You didn't have a pulse.

872
01:07:46,654 --> 01:07:48,576
Oh, you never do blow before?

873
01:07:48,688 --> 01:07:50,919
Sometimes your heart stop... start
up again.

874
01:07:51,361 --> 01:07:54,555
- Read a book!
- Look I'm sorry. We're having a bad day.

875
01:07:54,667 --> 01:07:58,339
Oh, you're having a bad day! Did you die?

876
01:07:59,047 --> 01:08:01,831
- I got shot!
- But did you die?

877
01:08:02,033 --> 01:08:05,495
Chow, some guy told us that you got
a bank code or something...

878
01:08:05,583 --> 01:08:07,733
...and if we don't bring it to him first
think in the morning...

879
01:08:09,067 --> 01:08:10,567
...he's gonna kill Teddy.

880
01:08:10,568 --> 01:08:17,058
Who, Kingsley? He harmless. Don't worry.
I got the bank codes.

881
01:08:17,904 --> 01:08:23,018
Great! Alright, we gotta meet him at 8am.
Who is that fuckin guy, anyway?

882
01:08:23,114 --> 01:08:26,637
- An investor in my business.
- Yeah, what business is that?

883
01:08:26,732 --> 01:08:29,307
It's called "not your business" ok!

884
01:08:30,046 --> 01:08:33,420
- Oh, where's the monkey?
- The monkey...

885
01:08:33,571 --> 01:08:37,583
Yeah I put the account number and
password in his vest. Where is he?

886
01:08:40,458 --> 01:08:43,999
- Why would you do that?
- Safe keeping, pretty boy.

887
01:08:44,097 --> 01:08:51,570
I got a lotta heat on my ass. I got
FBI, Bangkok PD, Interpol, MSNBC...

888
01:08:52,134 --> 01:08:54,117
That little monkey snorting coke with me
all night...

889
01:08:54,226 --> 01:08:57,244
Jerkin me off while I watched Stu make
fuckin lady boy.

890
01:08:57,572 --> 01:09:01,339
- He not going anywhere.
- We don't have the monkey, Chow.

891
01:09:01,438 --> 01:09:04,337
Oh, some Russian thugs took him from us.

892
01:09:04,434 --> 01:09:06,504
Oh you fucking guys!

893
01:09:07,403 --> 01:09:11,194
Okay. No problem. We just have to get
him back.

894
01:09:11,338 --> 01:09:14,666
- From where?
- From the same place we took him from.

895
01:09:36,441 --> 01:09:38,641
This monkey isn't just normal monkey.

896
01:09:51,864 --> 01:09:54,472
Every night, monkey drug mule.

897
01:09:56,080 --> 01:09:58,344
He take coke to buyer...

898
01:10:01,566 --> 01:10:05,356
And deliver cash to dealer. He
middle man.

899
01:10:06,077 --> 01:10:08,301
Dealer never handle drug directly.

900
01:10:09,032 --> 01:10:10,597
He clean.

901
01:10:12,401 --> 01:10:16,825
- That's terrible.
- Not terrible. What he talking about. Fucking genius.

902
01:10:17,203 --> 01:10:19,122
You ever see monkey go to jail?

903
01:10:21,003 --> 01:10:25,482
We just take the monkey for deal, he come
close, we take his vest. That's that.

904
01:10:26,106 --> 01:10:30,580
- We get some blow too, you know... bump.
- No, no more bumps, Chow.

905
01:10:32,817 --> 01:10:34,603
This is ridiculous.

906
01:10:37,067 --> 01:10:39,901
Stu, Mr. Chow can't whistle. Shake your
monkey.

907
01:10:52,066 --> 01:10:53,230
Alright, here we go.

908
01:10:53,316 --> 01:10:54,723
Come on!

909
01:10:59,932 --> 01:11:02,162
How did we wind up with the monkey
last night anyway?

910
01:11:02,258 --> 01:11:04,507
I needed some blow and Alan thought
he was cute...

911
01:11:04,635 --> 01:11:05,929
...so we stole him!

912
01:11:18,336 --> 01:11:19,792
So stupid!

913
01:11:19,793 --> 01:11:21,368
Stu, ready to grab vest?

914
01:11:21,500 --> 01:11:26,186
- Okay. I just grab it?
- Yeah, just do it. Just do it.

915
01:11:26,316 --> 01:11:29,136
- Hey, little monkey.
- Alan, be quiet.

916
01:11:32,527 --> 01:11:35,319
- Fuck!
- We gotta go, right now!

917
01:11:36,265 --> 01:11:39,761
- Pull that fuckin monkey in!
- I'm trying!

918
01:11:44,266 --> 01:11:45,377
Shit!

919
01:11:49,037 --> 01:11:52,312
- Get that monkey in here, Stu!
- He won't let go!

920
01:11:53,326 --> 01:11:55,509
Stu, get back in the car! Right now!

921
01:11:56,096 --> 01:11:58,164
I'm trying! Slow down!

922
01:12:04,634 --> 01:12:06,491
He's so strong!

923
01:12:09,799 --> 01:12:11,812
Let go you fuckin monkey!

924
01:12:12,895 --> 01:12:16,860
- Look out!
- Oh shit! Tight squeeze!

925
01:12:18,896 --> 01:12:20,211
I got him!

926
01:12:23,678 --> 01:12:27,072
- Where's the code, Chow?
- Check his little vest.

927
01:12:30,629 --> 01:12:32,905
- Got it, Alan?
- Yes, I got a .

928
01:12:33,005 --> 01:12:36,415
- Slow down Chow!
- Hold on, J-Birds.

929
01:12:40,086 --> 01:12:41,640
Holy Shit!

930
01:12:43,146 --> 01:12:45,145
Don't worry. I got this shit!

931
01:12:47,412 --> 01:12:49,001
Pig!

932
01:12:53,274 --> 01:12:54,635
Oh, my word.

933
01:12:54,833 --> 01:12:56,241
Sorry, Stu! My bad!

934
01:13:02,228 --> 01:13:03,371
Oh, shit!

935
01:13:04,618 --> 01:13:05,768
Get down!

936
01:13:06,165 --> 01:13:07,632
What the fuck!

937
01:13:08,696 --> 01:13:11,447
Oh no! He shot the monkey!

938
01:13:11,692 --> 01:13:14,328
They shot the monkey.

939
01:13:14,470 --> 01:13:16,280
I'm at my wits end.

940
01:13:19,301 --> 01:13:21,004
He's coming back around.

941
01:13:21,688 --> 01:13:22,906
Look out!

942
01:13:26,841 --> 01:13:29,661
- Holy fuck!
- Oh no...

943
01:13:49,220 --> 01:13:51,240
- Everyone alright?
- Yeah.

944
01:13:52,413 --> 01:13:55,087
I have such an erection right now!

945
01:13:59,532 --> 01:14:00,907
Are you for real?

946
01:14:15,800 --> 01:14:18,144
They're gonna take good care of you
here, ok.

947
01:14:20,717 --> 01:14:22,079
What's that?

948
01:14:24,647 --> 01:14:29,480
Oh, yeah. Cigarettes. Got em right here.
Here you go.

949
01:14:33,834 --> 01:14:35,241
Right here.

950
01:14:38,230 --> 01:14:41,360
Deep breathe. Good.

951
01:14:42,731 --> 01:14:45,111
Soak it in.

952
01:14:45,369 --> 01:14:48,685
Breathe the smoke into your tiny
little lungs. There you go.

953
01:14:49,928 --> 01:14:52,500
It's funny. I've never been much of a
smoker, but...

954
01:14:53,945 --> 01:14:56,023
Boy does it look cool on you.

955
01:14:56,355 --> 01:14:59,024
Alan, c'mon! Let's go!

956
01:15:02,203 --> 01:15:04,103
I'll miss you, monkey.

957
01:15:07,041 --> 01:15:09,283
I wish monkeys could Skype.

958
01:15:11,051 --> 01:15:12,743
Maybe one day...

959
01:15:20,428 --> 01:15:23,005
Come on! Get in!

960
01:15:59,552 --> 01:16:01,487
Are you guys seriously this calm?

961
01:16:01,614 --> 01:16:04,236
Relax, Stuart. It's classic switcheroo.

962
01:16:04,335 --> 01:16:06,257
I give him money, he gives us Teddy.

963
01:16:06,535 --> 01:16:09,103
You ever do anything that doesn't end
up in a standoff, Chow?

964
01:16:09,201 --> 01:16:12,530
I'm an international criminal. It always
ends like this.

965
01:16:12,643 --> 01:16:14,417
I met my wife at one of these things.

966
01:16:15,388 --> 01:16:19,648
- You got a wife?
- Yeah, we married 15 years.

967
01:16:19,743 --> 01:16:22,382
What, I not good looking enough for woman?

968
01:16:23,512 --> 01:16:25,237
No, that's cool.

969
01:16:26,970 --> 01:16:28,008
Let's do this!

970
01:16:28,133 --> 01:16:30,936
- Welcome to the Tower Club.
- Blah blah blah, who cares.

971
01:16:32,544 --> 01:16:34,936
Stop! Chow crossing.

972
01:16:38,480 --> 01:16:41,785
- Hey, Kingsley!
- Well, well.

973
01:16:41,916 --> 01:16:43,757
Propecia looking nice!

974
01:16:43,949 --> 01:16:45,915
You been hitting the gym?

975
01:16:46,117 --> 01:16:49,326
Yes I am actually. Thank you for
noticing, Chow.

976
01:16:49,635 --> 01:16:51,442
Hey, guys. Have a seat.

977
01:16:52,411 --> 01:16:55,719
- Where's Teddy?
- He's waiting downstairs in my car.

978
01:16:55,985 --> 01:16:58,158
Send him up when the transfer is complete.

979
01:16:58,257 --> 01:17:01,159
Tell you what. Give me extra 50 grand, you
keep Teddy.

980
01:17:01,254 --> 01:17:03,998
And I throw in this other fat fuck for free.

981
01:17:06,190 --> 01:17:09,110
- Chow.. Chow...
- Could we move this along!

982
01:17:09,260 --> 01:17:13,793
Alan, account number. Come on, come on.

983
01:17:13,941 --> 01:17:24,041
8-1-4, K as in knife, 2-3-9-8.

984
01:17:25,252 --> 01:17:28,101
- Password?
- "baloney1"

985
01:17:28,774 --> 01:17:30,200
Your password is "baloney1" ?

986
01:17:30,333 --> 01:17:33,247
Well it used to be just "baloney" but
now they make you add number.

987
01:17:33,498 --> 01:17:35,446
Fuckin annoying.

988
01:17:46,841 --> 01:17:48,348
- And it's that easy.
- Ta dah!

989
01:17:49,806 --> 01:17:51,822
Oh look. You sunk my battleship.

990
01:17:53,513 --> 01:18:00,660
- Great, now can we please have Teddy?
- Yeah. Bring him up.

991
01:18:01,604 --> 01:18:04,997
See. We go to your wedding. We have fun. I
bust a nut.

992
01:18:05,112 --> 01:18:07,196
We did it, Stu. It's over!

993
01:18:16,864 --> 01:18:19,517
This is Bangkok police! Everybody down!

994
01:18:22,647 --> 01:18:23,911
Oh, nuts!

995
01:18:24,047 --> 01:18:26,272
Kingsley, you're fucking Five-O?

996
01:18:26,385 --> 01:18:27,762
Gotcha, Leslie!

997
01:18:28,040 --> 01:18:29,105
Get him outta here.

998
01:18:29,224 --> 01:18:30,681
Go! Just do it! Go!

999
01:18:35,806 --> 01:18:37,360
How the fuck...

1000
01:18:37,971 --> 01:18:42,801
Samir, you fucked me over six grand?
You camel jockey!

1001
01:18:44,887 --> 01:18:47,443
You spit on me?

1002
01:18:48,242 --> 01:18:52,799
Six grand this time, eight grand last time.
It's not the money, man, it's the principle!

1003
01:18:52,897 --> 01:18:55,869
Principle? Nigga, please! We both dead inside.

1004
01:18:55,961 --> 01:18:58,370
Call me nigga... don't call me "nigga"!

1005
01:18:58,457 --> 01:19:01,356
- Put em in, motherfucker!
- He's an asshole, man.

1006
01:19:02,743 --> 01:19:04,200
You guys ok?

1007
01:19:04,318 --> 01:19:07,593
- What the fucks going on?
- Detective Inspector Peters, Interpol.

1008
01:19:07,691 --> 01:19:09,023
- You're a cop?
- Yes.

1009
01:19:09,137 --> 01:19:11,007
This sting operation has been in place
for weeks.

1010
01:19:11,865 --> 01:19:14,424
When Samir told us that your friend
was lost...

1011
01:19:14,623 --> 01:19:19,293
We took advantage of that information.
I'm sorry.

1012
01:19:20,789 --> 01:19:24,722
- So can Teddy come out of the car now?
- No, Alan, Teddy's not in the fuckin car!

1013
01:19:24,820 --> 01:19:26,746
They don't have him. They never had him.

1014
01:19:27,318 --> 01:19:31,457
They just needed us to bring them Chow.
They used Teddy as bait.

1015
01:19:32,975 --> 01:19:35,976
- Do you have any leads at all?
- No. We've checked everywhere.

1016
01:19:36,140 --> 01:19:38,114
No one has seen him. I'm sorry.

1017
01:19:39,189 --> 01:19:44,170
If you haven't found him by now, I'm afraid
Bangkok has him.

1018
01:19:48,894 --> 01:19:51,172
Why do people keep saying that?

1019
01:19:53,879 --> 01:19:57,506
Stu... It's time.

1020
01:20:02,976 --> 01:20:04,270
Alan...

1021
01:20:05,318 --> 01:20:09,793
-I'm sorry.
- Don't say that. Please.

1022
01:20:09,908 --> 01:20:14,211
- No this time we really fucked up.
- Oh god! How bad?

1023
01:20:14,415 --> 01:20:16,431
<i>Like, no wedding bad?</i>

1024
01:20:18,444 --> 01:20:20,115
Yeah... a little worse than that!

1025
01:20:46,963 --> 01:20:50,835
Ok, how about this? He fell off
the fishing boat and drowned.

1026
01:20:52,355 --> 01:20:53,711
No.

1027
01:20:55,064 --> 01:20:58,306
Ok, I got it. Teddy was hit by a truck.

1028
01:20:59,156 --> 01:21:02,287
- Alan!
- Not a good time, Phil. Kinda busy!

1029
01:21:02,401 --> 01:21:04,260
How many people get run over here?

1030
01:21:04,370 --> 01:21:07,741
- Over 1200 a year, Phil.
- Perfect!

1031
01:21:08,135 --> 01:21:11,188
His body was too mangled to recover.
Case closed.

1032
01:21:12,912 --> 01:21:14,547
Can I get more ice, please?

1033
01:21:15,780 --> 01:21:17,349
I'm not gonna lie to Lauren.

1034
01:21:17,482 --> 01:21:25,152
- Stu, do you want this or not?
- Look at what I've done, Phil. What I do.

1035
01:21:28,330 --> 01:21:33,099
I have a weakness for prostitutes. All
kinds, apparently.

1036
01:21:37,499 --> 01:21:42,279
- I have a demon in me!
- So what?

1037
01:21:43,773 --> 01:21:46,883
Teddy's gone, but I can still save Lauren.

1038
01:21:46,998 --> 01:21:48,968
Just let her live her life without me.

1039
01:21:49,001 --> 01:21:50,310
Stu!

1040
01:21:50,419 --> 01:21:53,753
I want you to call Doug and tell him I'm
never coming back.

1041
01:21:54,296 --> 01:21:56,240
Gettin off the hamster wheel.

1042
01:21:57,833 --> 01:22:01,500
Gonna stay here in Bangkok.
I think I belong here.

1043
01:22:02,500 --> 01:22:04,679
Open up a little dentists office.

1044
01:22:06,040 --> 01:22:08,201
Deep cleanings, with a happy ending.

1045
01:22:12,447 --> 01:22:13,846
You sure about this?

1046
01:22:21,551 --> 01:22:23,988
Hey, what the crud!

1047
01:22:25,560 --> 01:22:27,005
Powers out, Alan.

1048
01:22:31,410 --> 01:22:32,557
- Phil!
- Doug.

1049
01:22:32,741 --> 01:22:35,147
- I need answers, man.
- I know...

1050
01:22:36,112 --> 01:22:37,099
Doug, who are you talking to?

1051
01:22:37,195 --> 01:22:38,128
- What?
- Give me the phone!

1052
01:22:38,244 --> 01:22:39,408
Lauren, no! That's a private...

1053
01:22:39,496 --> 01:22:40,641
Who is this?

1054
01:22:40,736 --> 01:22:44,229
- Lauren?
- Phil? Tell me what's going on, right now!

1055
01:22:44,835 --> 01:22:46,411
We lost your little brother.

1056
01:22:46,857 --> 01:22:49,706
- What?
- Bangkok has him now.

1057
01:22:57,596 --> 01:22:58,982
You gotta take the stairs.

1058
01:22:59,543 --> 01:23:01,146
You're in Bangkok?

1059
01:23:05,851 --> 01:23:07,309
Ooh, that's a finger!

1060
01:23:08,554 --> 01:23:09,886
Put Stu on the phone!

1061
01:23:10,739 --> 01:23:14,306
Bangkok experiences 1500 power outages
per year.

1062
01:23:14,525 --> 01:23:16,721
<i>Stu really doesn't want to talk to anybody.</i>

1063
01:23:17,453 --> 01:23:18,865
<i>- Water everywhere. Powers out.</i>

1064
01:23:18,981 --> 01:23:21,375
<i>Come on, Stu, use that big Jewish brain</i>

1065
01:23:24,158 --> 01:23:26,983
Phil! Give me the phone!

1066
01:23:27,111 --> 01:23:28,992
- It's Lauren! I got it! I'm handling it!
- I know.!

1067
01:23:29,107 --> 01:23:30,893
- Give me the fuckin...
- I can handle it, Stu!

1068
01:23:30,991 --> 01:23:32,552
She's gonna break your heart!

1069
01:23:32,647 --> 01:23:35,108
Honey, sweetheart, it's me! I'm so sorry!

1070
01:23:35,223 --> 01:23:39,039
Stu? What the hell is going on? What does he
mean you lost Teddy?

1071
01:23:39,158 --> 01:23:44,072
What? Is that what Phil said?
No no no. We misplaced, Teddy.

1072
01:23:44,184 --> 01:23:46,891
But we're all good now. We heading back to the
hotel. We're gonna see you soon!

1073
01:23:48,321 --> 01:23:53,371
I love you so much! And I gotta go, but
I'll see you soon. Bye.

1074
01:23:56,572 --> 01:23:57,638
Stu!

1075
01:24:01,131 --> 01:24:02,823
- Stu!
- God!

1076
01:24:04,127 --> 01:24:06,633
Taxi!

1077
01:24:06,880 --> 01:24:09,145
Come on, Alan!

1078
01:24:11,721 --> 01:24:13,325
Hey, you mind filling us in!

1079
01:24:13,551 --> 01:24:16,009
Ok, now when we woke up, the power was out.

1080
01:24:16,128 --> 01:24:18,422
And you found Teddy's finger in what?

1081
01:24:18,669 --> 01:24:21,715
- In a pool of water.
- But it didn't start out as water.

1082
01:24:21,895 --> 01:24:23,537
No, it was ice.

1083
01:24:23,629 --> 01:24:25,256
Exactly! Teddy got ice from the machine...

1084
01:24:25,385 --> 01:24:28,032
...came back to the room. Put his finger
on ice and fell asleep.

1085
01:24:28,033 --> 01:24:29,018
Now what do you do if you wake up...

1086
01:24:29,098 --> 01:24:31,789
...and you find your finger floating in
a bowl of melted ice?

1087
01:24:31,951 --> 01:24:35,406
I'd get more ice, Stu... on the 15th
fuckin floor!

1088
01:24:35,538 --> 01:24:38,669
Yes! Teddy goes up, the power goes out...

1089
01:24:38,766 --> 01:24:44,117
- Holy shit! Of course!
- He's at the ice machine.

1090
01:24:44,618 --> 01:24:46,355
Alan, no!

1091
01:24:49,705 --> 01:24:50,927
It's on ten!

1092
01:24:51,374 --> 01:24:53,816
- Sir, is the elevator stuck?
- ??.

1093
01:24:54,271 --> 01:24:55,292
- C'mon!
- Go, go, go!

1094
01:24:59,860 --> 01:25:01,991
Hey, Teddy!

1095
01:25:02,354 --> 01:25:04,454
Look out, look out!

1096
01:25:13,198 --> 01:25:14,993
- Teddy!
- You're ok!

1097
01:25:16,685 --> 01:25:19,048
Teddy, you okay? You ok, man?

1098
01:25:19,762 --> 01:25:22,844
- Where am I?
- You're in an elevator, in the middle of Bangkok.

1099
01:25:23,123 --> 01:25:25,252
But we're gonna get you outta here. It's
gonna be fine.

1100
01:25:25,498 --> 01:25:28,814
Hey Stu, nice tattoo.

1101
01:25:31,120 --> 01:25:32,284
Thanks, man.

1102
01:25:32,419 --> 01:25:33,892
Alright, let's do this! C'mon, c'mon!

1103
01:25:34,738 --> 01:25:41,464
Tell him we found him.
Yeah, I know. But we're on our way. Ok, bye!

1104
01:25:41,786 --> 01:25:47,079
Alright, guests are arriving, people starting
to ask questions, but we can still pull this off!

1105
01:25:47,212 --> 01:25:49,983
- How?
- I don't know, with a taxi?

1106
01:25:50,077 --> 01:25:51,545
- Chow's speed boat.
- What?

1107
01:25:51,687 --> 01:25:53,965
Last think I remember, was getting off
Chow's speed boat.

1108
01:25:54,096 --> 01:25:57,589
- Chow has a speed boat?
- "The Perfect Life".

1109
01:25:58,798 --> 01:26:00,030
C'mon!

1110
01:26:04,111 --> 01:26:05,485
Stu, get that back line.

1111
01:26:07,825 --> 01:26:09,003
Good jump, Phil!

1112
01:26:11,710 --> 01:26:12,869
- You alright?
- Yeah.

1113
01:26:14,087 --> 01:26:17,068
- You sure you know how to drive this thing?

1114
01:26:17,084 --> 01:26:18,835
Please, I was raised in a yacht club. I
know what I'm doing.

1115
01:26:43,133 --> 01:26:44,430
You know where we're going?

1116
01:26:45,628 --> 01:26:47,382
Leave it to the Captain!

1117
01:26:47,627 --> 01:26:49,426
Oh fuck you, Alan!

1118
01:26:51,137 --> 01:26:54,049
Do you know where we're going, Captain?

1119
01:26:55,027 --> 01:26:57,220
Affirmative cadet!
We're going south.

1120
01:26:57,780 --> 01:27:01,106
- We're in the Gulf of Thailand.
- Good.

1121
01:27:23,277 --> 01:27:25,525
Hey! You okay?

1122
01:27:26,972 --> 01:27:29,408
- Feeling a little better.
- Alright!

1123
01:27:30,873 --> 01:27:35,428
Listen Teddy. I'm really sorry! We didn't
mean for any of this to happen.

1124
01:27:36,254 --> 01:27:45,561
It's funny. I can't remember anything
But... when I woke up, I was kinda happy.

1125
01:27:46,543 --> 01:27:47,836
Yeah!

1126
01:27:49,539 --> 01:27:53,232
By the way... Do you have any idea
where my finger is?

1127
01:27:53,326 --> 01:27:55,724
Yeah, we gave it to a drug dealing
monkey.

1128
01:27:59,458 --> 01:28:00,897
Bangkok...

1129
01:28:01,409 --> 01:28:05,184
Yeah, right... fuckin Bangkok!

1130
01:28:19,335 --> 01:28:21,420
I apologize. There will be no wedding!

1131
01:28:21,533 --> 01:28:23,549
He is on his way. He will be here...

1132
01:28:23,680 --> 01:28:28,040
Please, if you will all move to the bar.
We are going to clear this area.

1133
01:28:28,325 --> 01:28:29,909
Please!

1134
01:28:32,832 --> 01:28:35,270
<i>I'm telling you, I spoke to him. He's coming.</i>

1135
01:28:39,396 --> 01:28:41,644
Look! There they are!

1136
01:28:45,673 --> 01:28:46,995
Stu!

1137
01:28:53,332 --> 01:28:56,066
- Alan, there's no dock.
- Just hang on!

1138
01:28:56,215 --> 01:28:58,933
- Alan, it's not funny! Turn the boat!
- Hang on!

1139
01:28:59,031 --> 01:29:01,275
- Is that Alan driving the boat?
- What?

1140
01:29:01,965 --> 01:29:04,605
Uh, we should probably move back a little bit.

1141
01:29:05,960 --> 01:29:08,092
Oh my god!

1142
01:29:08,204 --> 01:29:10,319
Turn the boat!

1143
01:29:10,436 --> 01:29:11,896
Everyone back up a little bit here.

1144
01:29:12,008 --> 01:29:13,956
Sir, it's gonna get worse before it gets better.

1145
01:29:31,380 --> 01:29:33,983
Hi! Hi everybody!

1146
01:29:36,130 --> 01:29:40,706
Came in a little hotter than we planned.
I'm sorry we trenched the lawn here.

1147
01:29:41,586 --> 01:29:43,881
Totally fixable. A little bit of sod, it'll
be fine.

1148
01:29:43,997 --> 01:29:45,822
- Baby!
- Oh my god!

1149
01:29:46,010 --> 01:29:47,913
I'm so happy to see you!

1150
01:29:49,471 --> 01:29:53,829
- Teddy! Teddy here.
- Hi, Dad!

1151
01:29:54,767 --> 01:29:56,805
- You alright?
- Yeah, ok.

1152
01:29:58,549 --> 01:30:01,254
- Your hand!
- I know.

1153
01:30:01,392 --> 01:30:03,532
We had an accident. I'm ok.

1154
01:30:05,733 --> 01:30:06,861
This is your fault!

1155
01:30:07,011 --> 01:30:11,908
- Dad.
- He's right. I have not been completely honest.

1156
01:30:12,040 --> 01:30:13,528
- Stu? Don't do this.
-Yeah?

1157
01:30:13,647 --> 01:30:15,348
Thanks, Phil, but gonna do it.

1158
01:30:16,550 --> 01:30:20,988
You said I'm a joke.Well I'm not.

1159
01:30:21,580 --> 01:30:29,166
I'm not some weird, milky, ricy, watery
that you feed to infants and old people, ok!

1160
01:30:29,300 --> 01:30:33,263
Maybe I would be if you added some
cayenne pepper!

1161
01:30:35,969 --> 01:30:37,719
I wish I was a boring dentist...

1162
01:30:37,818 --> 01:30:39,972
...who had a boring life and boring friends...

1163
01:30:40,080 --> 01:30:41,899
... but I don't and I'm not.

1164
01:30:42,653 --> 01:30:44,985
I'm actually part of this weird wolf pack.

1165
01:30:45,164 --> 01:30:48,656
It's not weird. It's pretty cool
actually. No membership fees.

1166
01:30:48,767 --> 01:30:51,289
I've had enough of this. Come here.

1167
01:30:51,517 --> 01:30:55,635
Whoa! Here's the deal man.

1168
01:30:55,914 --> 01:30:59,754
- I got a dark side!

1169
01:30:59,851 --> 01:31:01,851
There's a demon in me!

1170
01:31:02,776 --> 01:31:04,776
It's true, he has semen in him.

1171
01:31:05,524 --> 01:31:06,770
I said demon.

1172
01:31:07,323 --> 01:31:11,766
- But you also have semen in you, remember?
- Not relevant, but thank you, Alan.

1173
01:31:14,080 --> 01:31:19,794
The point is, this demon takes me to
some pretty weird places.

1174
01:31:19,977 --> 01:31:22,973
We lost Teddy for two days in Bangkok.

1175
01:31:23,859 --> 01:31:27,877
But that same demon took us to
hell and back to find him.

1176
01:31:27,975 --> 01:31:30,498
We took on Bangkok and we won.

1177
01:31:30,646 --> 01:31:33,335
Now that's pretty fuckin cool if you ask me!

1178
01:31:38,433 --> 01:31:42,642
I love your daughter, and I'm
gonna marry her.

1179
01:31:42,742 --> 01:31:45,117
- Unless you have any problem with that?
- I'm good.

1180
01:31:46,922 --> 01:31:51,855
But all that said, it would actually mean
a great deal to both of us...

1181
01:31:52,116 --> 01:31:55,312
...if we could just get your mother fucking
blessing!

1182
01:32:12,452 --> 01:32:13,782
Hey, Alan...

1183
01:32:15,125 --> 01:32:18,992
- That looks pretty cool shaved.
- Thanks, Phil.

1184
01:32:19,714 --> 01:32:21,303
You should shave your head too.

1185
01:32:21,731 --> 01:32:25,141
- Why would I do that?
- Well than we would look exactly alike.

1186
01:32:37,093 --> 01:32:40,253
- Take good care of my daughter, Stu.
- I will.

1187
01:32:48,996 --> 01:32:51,434
I'm sorry we almost killed everyone with
the boat.

1188
01:32:51,567 --> 01:32:53,140
Just happy you're here.

1189
01:32:56,303 --> 01:33:00,005
And don't worry about the tattoo. I'm gonna
have it lasered as soon as we're home in LA.

1190
01:33:00,181 --> 01:33:04,300
- That's ok. I can get used to it.
- Really?

1191
01:33:07,511 --> 01:33:09,363
But for now, let's switch sides?

1192
01:33:09,856 --> 01:33:12,038
- Yeah, ok.
- Thank you.

1193
01:33:13,492 --> 01:33:14,804
Much better.

1194
01:33:16,249 --> 01:33:20,160
Dear family and friends. On behalf of Stu and Lauren...

1195
01:33:20,292 --> 01:33:24,571
...I welcome all of you, to this
marriage celebration.

1196
01:33:24,987 --> 01:33:27,164
We are here today to...

1197
01:34:23,750 --> 01:34:26,208
Hey buddy. Can you hold on for a second.

1198
01:34:26,587 --> 01:34:27,986
Thank you.

1199
01:34:35,683 --> 01:34:38,277
Hello? Hi everyone!

1200
01:34:39,729 --> 01:34:42,340
My name's Alan Garner.

1201
01:34:42,449 --> 01:34:48,956
I want to thank the Asiatic people for
allowing us in your land.

1202
01:34:50,299 --> 01:34:54,610
I wanted to say that, um, I'm really
happy to be here...

1203
01:34:54,745 --> 01:34:58,922
...and I have a wedding gift to present
to Lauren and Stu.

1204
01:34:59,950 --> 01:35:02,796
And um, a lot of thought has gone into this...

1205
01:35:02,931 --> 01:35:07,636
...and I hope that you appreciate it as
much as I did, or going to.

1206
01:35:07,829 --> 01:35:09,292
Okay, guys!

1207
01:35:27,204 --> 01:35:28,704
Oh, fuck!

1208
01:35:50,296 --> 01:35:51,342
Alan!

1209
01:35:53,643 --> 01:35:55,625
What the fuck?

1210
01:35:55,915 --> 01:35:59,277
- So what do ya think?
- That's insane! How did you do that?

1211
01:35:59,373 --> 01:36:01,077
My dad had to make a lot of calls.

1212
01:36:01,192 --> 01:36:04,707
I told Mike that you gotta do it. It's
for my third best friend.

1213
01:36:05,419 --> 01:36:09,503
Alan, it's amazing!
I love it! Thank you so much!

1214
01:36:09,600 --> 01:36:12,470
We only have him for tonight. We don't
have him permanently.

1215
01:36:13,845 --> 01:36:15,485
Understood!

1216
01:36:31,389 --> 01:36:35,197
<i>- You do a lot of public speaking, Alan?
- I barely ??</i>

1217
01:36:35,682 --> 01:36:40,582
Mike, you were great. It's true, that
was incredible.

1218
01:36:40,677 --> 01:36:43,435
Thanks, guys. That means a lot, really!

1219
01:36:43,813 --> 01:36:47,135
By the way, you really need to remove that
fuckin tattoo from your face!

1220
01:36:47,613 --> 01:36:49,171
Yeah! On it!

1221
01:36:51,889 --> 01:36:54,220
Sorry about the last minute change up
to the performance, Mike.

1222
01:36:54,329 --> 01:36:56,017
- Don't worry, Alan.
- What are you talking about?

1223
01:36:56,132 --> 01:36:58,853
Well he was originally supposed to sing
"Burning Up" by the Jonas Brothers...

1224
01:36:59,002 --> 01:37:01,151
...but then I remembered you don't like indie rock.

1225
01:37:01,941 --> 01:37:04,351
Hey guys. You're not gonna believe this.

1226
01:37:04,462 --> 01:37:06,596
- Is that your phone?
- Yeah.

1227
01:37:06,946 --> 01:37:08,908
How come you never tried calling us?

1228
01:37:09,003 --> 01:37:10,744
It's been dead for two days.

1229
01:37:10,873 --> 01:37:13,296
But I recharged it and found all
these photos.

1230
01:37:13,396 --> 01:37:14,596
What?

1231
01:37:14,794 --> 01:37:16,902
- Shit!
- Yeah, some of it's pretty messed up.

1232
01:37:17,001 --> 01:37:19,620
- Awesome, let's check em out.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa!

1233
01:37:19,950 --> 01:37:21,601
No one needs to see this stuff!

1234
01:37:21,716 --> 01:37:24,469
C'mon man! I'm Mike Tyson. I've seen everything!

1235
01:37:24,765 --> 01:37:27,400
- It'll be fine.
- <i>(mumbles something)</i>

1236
01:37:28,347 --> 01:37:33,097
- Alright, we look at it once.
- And then we delete them. It's gonna be ok.

1237
01:37:34,730 --> 01:37:35,961
- Oh, ooh!
- Mother fucker!

1238
01:37:36,305 --> 01:38:36,370
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