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Subtitles Enhanced by "Dr. Zia R Khan"
Enjoy the Movie.
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Song: Bad Man's World
by Jenny Lewis.
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Advertise your product or brand here
contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today
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(phone dialing)
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(phone ringing)
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(voice-mail) Hi, you've reached the
office of Dr. Stuart Price.
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Please note the office will be closed
until the 24th.
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00:00:58,601 --> 00:01:01,038
If this is an emergency,
please try...
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00:01:01,063 --> 00:01:03,063
(phone dialing)
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00:01:03,088 --> 00:01:05,688
(phone ringing)
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00:01:05,931 --> 00:01:09,229
(voice-mail) Hi! This is Dr. Stu Price.
I'm getting married.
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So I'll be out of the
country for 2 weeks.
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I'm not sure if I'll
have cell service.
14
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If this is a dental emergency...
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00:01:15,799 --> 00:01:17,809
Nothing.
16
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(speaking in Thai)
17
00:01:23,545 --> 00:01:25,949
Daddy, please! You're not helping!
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I looked into his eyes.
Not the eyes of a man.
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The eyes of a coward.
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(speaking in Thai again)
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Excuse me!
22
00:01:42,973 --> 00:01:44,737
- Bill!
- Tracy!
23
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- I'm sorry!
- Where the hell are you?
24
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It happened again!
25
00:01:53,220 --> 00:01:55,983
Don't say that, please!
26
00:01:55,984 --> 00:01:58,547
No this time we really fucked up.
27
00:01:58,548 --> 00:02:01,454
Seriously! What is wrong with you three?
28
00:02:01,455 --> 00:02:04,627
So much Trace, I don't even know
where to begin.
29
00:02:04,628 --> 00:02:07,258
Oh god! How bad?
30
00:02:07,259 --> 00:02:11,996
- Like, no wedding bad?
- Yeah...
31
00:02:11,997 --> 00:02:14,759
a little worse than that.
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00:02:17,707 --> 00:02:21,801
THE HANGOVER PART II
33
00:03:57,311 --> 00:03:59,457
ONE WEEK EARLIER
34
00:03:59,682 --> 00:04:01,182
Uh, huh.
35
00:04:02,904 --> 00:04:07,406
- You really need to floss more.
- Fuck that! That's why I come here.
36
00:04:07,542 --> 00:04:11,811
- Then you should come more than once every two years!
- Why? So you can bleed me of all my money?
37
00:04:11,762 --> 00:04:14,478
I never charge you a dime, Phil!
38
00:04:14,679 --> 00:04:17,632
- Hey, how do I work the nitrous?
- Ah, you don't actually.
39
00:04:17,633 --> 00:04:20,334
Come on! Just one hit!
40
00:04:20,335 --> 00:04:24,082
Fillings look pretty good. Any other problems?
41
00:04:24,083 --> 00:04:28,449
Yeah, actually. You're getting married
in Thailand.
42
00:04:28,450 --> 00:04:32,289
For starters, that's flights for me and Steph.
That's two grand right there.
43
00:04:32,290 --> 00:04:36,483
Then my mother in laws watching the kids. So
now she's got this whole new thing over my head.
44
00:04:36,484 --> 00:04:38,601
Plus, takes five days to get there.
45
00:04:38,602 --> 00:04:42,263
It's a 16 hour flight. And it's beautiful
when you get there.
46
00:04:42,264 --> 00:04:44,774
- Whatever, it's a hassle!
- It is kinda far.
47
00:04:44,775 --> 00:04:47,326
Lauren's been there a week and she's
still jet lagged.
48
00:04:47,327 --> 00:04:50,075
But it's where her parents are from and
it means a lot to them.
49
00:04:50,076 --> 00:04:53,568
Who gives a shit about her parents!
Her dad hates you!
50
00:04:53,569 --> 00:04:57,331
He doesn't hate me! He's just never
spoken to me...
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00:04:57,333 --> 00:04:58,978
...I think it's a cultural thing.
52
00:04:59,014 --> 00:05:01,886
Why can't you just get married in Vegas like
you did the last time. It's so much easier.
53
00:05:01,923 --> 00:05:04,788
Why can't you just be excited for me?
54
00:05:04,790 --> 00:05:07,172
This is my wedding!
55
00:05:12,040 --> 00:05:16,111
- You're really happy, huh?
- I really am.
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00:05:19,318 --> 00:05:20,593
Alright...
57
00:05:20,594 --> 00:05:23,364
...I'm happy too.
58
00:05:23,365 --> 00:05:27,242
- Thank you!
- Gonna be fun.
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00:05:29,322 --> 00:05:32,800
Phil. Put the prescription pad back.
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00:05:47,318 --> 00:05:51,844
- Thank you. You know that's a felony right?
- Fuck you, man!
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00:05:52,414 --> 00:05:56,217
- Was this right up against your scrotum?
- Yep.
62
00:05:58,174 --> 00:06:00,297
- Oh my god, I just realized.
- What?
63
00:06:00,298 --> 00:06:03,535
- I forgot to renew my passport!
- Oh no...
64
00:06:03,536 --> 00:06:06,722
Good thing I did it last week. It's in
the kitchen drawer.
65
00:06:07,711 --> 00:06:11,068
- You're the best!
- Hey! We're a team!
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00:06:11,069 --> 00:06:15,731
You're a good guy. Like a really good guy!
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00:06:16,977 --> 00:06:18,350
Thank you!
68
00:06:18,351 --> 00:06:22,785
- So I know you're not gonna get mad.
- Mad? What, mad at what?
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00:06:22,786 --> 00:06:26,379
Alan found out that we're going to
Thailand for Stu's wedding.
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00:06:26,380 --> 00:06:30,046
- So?
- So he's heart broken Doug. You guys are like his family!
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00:06:30,048 --> 00:06:33,133
No. Your family is like his family.
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00:06:33,134 --> 00:06:36,330
All Alan talks about is the three of you.
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00:06:36,331 --> 00:06:38,411
- And that weekend.
- Wait a second...
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00:06:38,412 --> 00:06:42,962
- Is he the one who keeps calling and hanging up?
- He does that when he's upset.
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00:06:42,963 --> 00:06:45,618
He doesn't understand why he's not invited.
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00:06:45,619 --> 00:06:50,356
Could you just run it by Stu? Just run it by him.
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00:06:50,357 --> 00:06:52,550
For me...
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00:06:54,368 --> 00:06:56,828
No fucking way! Absolutely not!
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00:06:56,829 --> 00:06:59,893
Come on Stu, it's killing him.
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00:06:59,894 --> 00:07:03,966
Honestly, the two of you were barely invited.
81
00:07:03,967 --> 00:07:06,913
I get it. I really do. It's just, you know what...
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00:07:06,914 --> 00:07:09,171
Alan considers you to be one of his best friends.
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00:07:09,172 --> 00:07:11,108
I consider Alan to be insane.
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00:07:11,109 --> 00:07:14,665
Stu, throw him a bone! We've already said he's got to
pay for everything he eats and everything he breaks.
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00:07:14,666 --> 00:07:17,820
You know what. We should see if we can squeeze
the old man to cover the bachelor party.
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00:07:17,821 --> 00:07:20,037
- That's good.
- I'm glad you brought that up.
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00:07:20,039 --> 00:07:24,648
- Because... this is the bachelor party!
- What?
88
00:07:24,650 --> 00:07:27,869
- What are you talking about?
- Yeah, it's my bachelor brunch!
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00:07:27,870 --> 00:07:33,280
Go crazy. Get some chocolate chip pancakes... a
lap dance from the waitress...
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00:07:33,281 --> 00:07:38,174
That's bullshit! You can't just skip
out of a bachelor party, Stu.
91
00:07:38,175 --> 00:07:42,022
You see that? That's orange juice with
a napkin on top.
92
00:07:42,023 --> 00:07:44,834
Do you know why? So nobody will refuse me.
93
00:07:44,835 --> 00:07:47,807
Why I refuse to eat fucking cantaloupe
at a bachelor party?
94
00:07:47,808 --> 00:07:51,851
- C'mon Stu. Don't you think you're over reacting?
- No, I don't.
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00:07:52,557 --> 00:07:57,737
I'm still putting the pieces of my broken
psyche back together.
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00:07:58,076 --> 00:08:03,669
And you know what the glue is? Lauren!
I'm not doing anything to screw that up.
97
00:08:03,670 --> 00:08:06,968
- Oh, please. You wouldn't even be with her if it wasn't for us.
- Oh, this'll be good.
98
00:08:06,969 --> 00:08:08,699
Stu, think about it!
99
00:08:08,701 --> 00:08:11,893
You ended up ditching Melissa, and two years later
you met your true soul mate.
100
00:08:11,894 --> 00:08:15,223
You take Vegas out of that equation, you
would have married a cunt.
101
00:08:17,072 --> 00:08:19,432
Oh that's ok. I'm allowed to say it. It's
a bachelor party.
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Drink up everybody.
103
00:08:21,040 --> 00:08:24,077
Oh wait, there's no alcohol! I forgot
we're at a fuckin IHOP!
104
00:08:24,078 --> 00:08:27,360
Well it's my decision and it's final, so...
how bout a toast?
105
00:08:27,361 --> 00:08:29,871
This sucks. I'm gonna wait in the car.
106
00:08:29,872 --> 00:08:32,448
- C'mon Phil, where you going?
- Doug, Doug, I just don't get it!
107
00:08:32,449 --> 00:08:35,593
He's getting married in Thailand! That's
great for him, but what about us?
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00:08:35,594 --> 00:08:39,332
You're selfish! Come on, sweetheart...
109
00:08:40,242 --> 00:08:42,266
Shame on you!
110
00:08:44,762 --> 00:08:47,689
Don't worry Stu. I will stand up for you
no matter what.
111
00:08:47,690 --> 00:08:48,981
Thank you.
112
00:08:48,982 --> 00:08:52,387
But you gotta help me out with this Alan thing.
113
00:08:54,346 --> 00:08:56,914
Guys, I can't tell you how much this means...
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00:08:56,915 --> 00:09:00,515
Alan's been waiting for the invite ever
since he got word of the wedding.
115
00:09:00,516 --> 00:09:01,935
- I'm sure he has.
- Yeah.
116
00:09:01,936 --> 00:09:05,215
Been standing outside by the mailbox every day.
117
00:09:05,216 --> 00:09:06,810
- Well that's tough.
- Yeah.
118
00:09:07,869 --> 00:09:11,508
I uh, I'm not sure he ever left Vegas.
119
00:09:11,709 --> 00:09:13,951
He really needs this.
120
00:09:15,115 --> 00:09:16,455
What?
121
00:09:17,018 --> 00:09:21,214
Sweetie, papa! You have visitors!
Go in slowly.
122
00:09:21,215 --> 00:09:24,053
Give him a chance to acclimate.
123
00:09:26,609 --> 00:09:31,180
- Hey, Alan!
- Hey, guys! Hey, Phil!
124
00:09:31,181 --> 00:09:33,090
Hey, bud!
125
00:09:34,748 --> 00:09:38,289
- You guys wanna come in?
- Sure. Absolutely.
126
00:09:41,471 --> 00:09:42,770
- Hey.
- Hey.
127
00:09:43,805 --> 00:09:47,426
- Hey, Stu!
- Ok. See you on the court in half...
128
00:09:49,401 --> 00:09:53,597
- Pretty cool room, Alan!
- Thanks, Phil! My dad pays my rent.
129
00:09:53,598 --> 00:09:57,398
Alan, what the fuck! You were supposed
to delete these!
130
00:09:57,399 --> 00:09:59,344
You made a promise!
131
00:09:59,369 --> 00:10:00,569
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
132
00:10:00,882 --> 00:10:05,237
What the hell? I'm not cool with this
at all. You can't have these.
133
00:10:06,068 --> 00:10:08,174
Relax, Stu! Nobody ever comes in here.
134
00:10:08,175 --> 00:10:12,766
- A total violation of trust!
- Mother I'm done with my lunch. It's just sitting here!
135
00:10:13,658 --> 00:10:15,688
I'm sorry, honey. I'll be right up.
136
00:10:15,689 --> 00:10:18,758
- I can't believe you guys stopped by. This is really cool.
- Wait a second!
137
00:10:18,759 --> 00:10:22,377
- Al, is that Mr. Chow?
- Yeah. We still keep in touch.
138
00:10:22,378 --> 00:10:23,477
Stu!
139
00:10:23,478 --> 00:10:25,993
Chow, the guy that kidnapped us?
140
00:10:26,094 --> 00:10:28,000
He didn't kidnap us. He kidnapped Black Doug.
141
00:10:28,101 --> 00:10:29,600
Remember? It was a whole big misunderstanding.
142
00:10:30,101 --> 00:10:32,124
He's actually quite charming.
143
00:10:32,125 --> 00:10:35,325
- Alan, he's a criminal.
- Excuse me, boys!
144
00:10:35,326 --> 00:10:37,206
- Hi, Linda!
- Hi, Dougie!
145
00:10:37,207 --> 00:10:39,656
I guess we don't do desert anymore. I
didn't get that memo.
146
00:10:39,657 --> 00:10:42,789
I'm sorry, darling. I'll be right back.
147
00:10:42,790 --> 00:10:45,338
Would a cupcake kill you?
148
00:10:45,339 --> 00:10:49,524
- You know, I don't think this was a good idea.
- Alan, we have a little surprise for you.
149
00:10:49,525 --> 00:10:52,630
Stu would like to invite you to his wedding.
150
00:10:52,632 --> 00:10:56,634
- Well only if you're not busy.
- Stu!
151
00:10:56,635 --> 00:10:59,207
Well maybe the Jonas Brothers are in town.
152
00:10:59,208 --> 00:11:02,117
Nope. They're in Raleigh-Durham that weekend.
153
00:11:03,447 --> 00:11:08,444
Are you really being serious, Stu?
You're inviting me?
154
00:11:11,620 --> 00:11:15,829
Yeah why not? It's gonna be fun, right?
155
00:11:16,963 --> 00:11:19,416
- Phil, are you going?
- Of course!
156
00:11:20,667 --> 00:11:23,438
Then it will be fun.
157
00:11:29,908 --> 00:11:32,227
What the fuck are you doing, man?
158
00:11:33,204 --> 00:11:37,051
It's my immunizations. It's the last day
I can do it.
159
00:11:37,052 --> 00:11:39,441
That's supposed to be done by a registered nurse.
160
00:11:39,442 --> 00:11:42,232
I'm a nurse. Just not registered.
161
00:11:42,233 --> 00:11:46,929
Stu, look at this!
I bought this cause I thought of you!
162
00:12:23,291 --> 00:12:25,796
- Hey, there he is!
- Hey, Stu!
163
00:12:25,797 --> 00:12:29,204
- Teddy! What's up? How are ya?
- Hey Stu.
164
00:12:30,413 --> 00:12:33,793
- Alright. Who's this guy, Stu?
- This is Teddy. Lauren's little brother.
165
00:12:33,794 --> 00:12:36,830
Goes to Stanford. Pre-med. This is
Phil, Alan and Doug.
166
00:12:36,831 --> 00:12:38,257
Hey, nice to meet you, man!
167
00:12:38,258 --> 00:12:40,525
Wow, Stanford? How old are you?
168
00:12:40,527 --> 00:12:45,102
- He's 17. Kind of a genius.
- Actually, I'm 16.
169
00:12:45,103 --> 00:12:48,698
I'm not a genius. My dad just had me take
the entrance exams early.
170
00:12:48,699 --> 00:12:51,094
Because you're a genius.
171
00:12:51,095 --> 00:12:54,355
- So what are you, a doctor?
- No, not yet. I'm premed.
172
00:12:54,356 --> 00:12:57,880
- Ever heard of that guy Doogie Howser?
- Yeah.
173
00:12:57,881 --> 00:13:01,419
- Well, he turned out to be a gay.
- Alan.
174
00:13:01,421 --> 00:13:03,451
It's true, I read it in Teen People.
175
00:13:03,452 --> 00:13:08,019
Right, ok... well I'm gonna grab a book or something
for the plane. You guys want anything?
176
00:13:08,020 --> 00:13:11,415
- No, thanks. I'm good.
- I would actually love a small water.
177
00:13:11,416 --> 00:13:12,835
Cool.
178
00:13:14,960 --> 00:13:17,985
- What's the matter with you. He's 16 years old.
- Yeah, Alan. Take it easy!
179
00:13:17,986 --> 00:13:22,266
I'm a little confused. Is he here just to
see us off or what. How does this work?
180
00:13:22,267 --> 00:13:26,053
- How does what work?
- Is that person coming to the wedding?
181
00:13:26,054 --> 00:13:31,916
Yes Alan. My brides little brother is
coming to the wedding. Is that ok with you?
182
00:13:31,917 --> 00:13:35,561
Well, it's the first time I've heard of it.
You could have paged me.
183
00:13:39,038 --> 00:13:42,593
Don't over react. It's gonna be fine.
184
00:13:44,546 --> 00:13:49,317
- Hey. Mind if I sit?
- Wolf pack only. Find another chair.
185
00:13:49,318 --> 00:13:53,519
- There's no wolfpack, Alan. C'mon.
- It's no problem. I'll find...
186
00:13:53,520 --> 00:13:57,003
- Teddy, don't be ridiculous! You're sitting here!
- Careful, that's a Louis...
187
00:13:57,004 --> 00:14:00,135
That is a Louis Vuitton!
188
00:14:08,800 --> 00:14:15,049
- That's a nice neck roll!
- Thanks! You can use it if you want.
189
00:14:15,050 --> 00:14:16,763
Ok.
190
00:14:20,088 --> 00:14:25,088
The Downeaster 'Alexa'" by Billy Joel playing
191
00:15:26,671 --> 00:15:28,396
Baby!
192
00:15:42,629 --> 00:15:47,198
This is so absolutely beautiful!
Thank you much!
193
00:15:47,199 --> 00:15:48,567
Of course.
194
00:15:48,568 --> 00:15:53,581
Between Teddy and me, you must be pretty excited.
Pretty soon you'll have 2 doctors in the family.
195
00:15:53,582 --> 00:15:58,273
You have to realize that in my country we
don't consider dentists to be real doctors.
196
00:15:58,274 --> 00:15:59,375
Dad...
197
00:15:59,959 --> 00:16:01,050
Ok.
198
00:16:01,051 --> 00:16:05,149
Anyway I have to go and talk to Teddy
about his cello performance tonight.
199
00:16:06,974 --> 00:16:08,174
Ouch!
200
00:16:08,250 --> 00:16:09,970
I'm so sorry...
201
00:16:09,971 --> 00:16:12,778
Your dad's kind of obsessed with your
brother, isn't he?
202
00:16:12,779 --> 00:16:16,541
Teddy is my dad's prize possession. It's
always been that way.
203
00:16:17,366 --> 00:16:20,746
He'll warm up, I promise! Okay?
204
00:16:20,847 --> 00:16:22,923
You can just fax it over to me. I'll
pick it up at the concierge.
205
00:16:24,620 --> 00:16:27,096
Thanks, papa! Bye bye!
206
00:16:27,097 --> 00:16:30,240
That was my dad. I'm a stay at home son.
207
00:16:30,241 --> 00:16:33,985
We were discussing your wedding gift.
He's sparing no expense.
208
00:16:34,695 --> 00:16:36,755
Oh... That's so unnecessary.
209
00:16:36,757 --> 00:16:39,742
I've been meaning to ask someone. I
notice this is a fishing village.
210
00:16:39,743 --> 00:16:41,829
Is there a Long John Silver's on
the island?
211
00:16:41,830 --> 00:16:44,906
You know. No, I don't think so. I'm so sorry.
212
00:16:44,907 --> 00:16:48,913
But, we are actually serving some
great fresh seafood.
213
00:16:48,914 --> 00:16:51,638
- Better than Long John's?
- Yes.
214
00:16:51,639 --> 00:16:54,944
- I'll be the judge of that. Enjoy your evening.
- You too. Ok.
215
00:17:32,635 --> 00:17:34,635
All right!
216
00:17:41,061 --> 00:17:42,992
Thank you, Teddy!
217
00:17:42,993 --> 00:17:46,213
The hands of a brilliant musician!
218
00:17:46,214 --> 00:17:48,969
And one day, a great surgeon.
219
00:17:50,913 --> 00:17:53,279
I admit it...
220
00:17:53,280 --> 00:17:57,355
When I first met Stu, I was not quite sold.
221
00:17:58,533 --> 00:18:05,054
He seemed unattractive. He lacked
intelligence and imagination.
222
00:18:05,055 --> 00:18:09,704
He was missing the spark you look for
in a man.
223
00:18:10,747 --> 00:18:13,949
But then I looked into Stu's eyes.
224
00:18:13,950 --> 00:18:18,751
It reminded me of my sweet brother,
Chai Yo.
225
00:18:18,752 --> 00:18:24,000
For those who do not know, Chai Yo is learning
the sailboat and lives in a group home.
226
00:18:27,045 --> 00:18:30,514
But Chai Yo loves "khao" .
227
00:18:30,515 --> 00:18:37,515
And that's when I realized, Stu is "khao".
228
00:18:37,516 --> 00:18:39,286
What is "khao"?
229
00:18:39,287 --> 00:18:43,343
"Khao" is soft white rice in luke warm water.
230
00:18:43,345 --> 00:18:45,748
It has no taste.
231
00:18:45,749 --> 00:18:51,088
We feed it to small baby and uh, very
old people.
232
00:18:51,089 --> 00:18:54,491
It is nourishment that everyone can digest.
233
00:18:54,492 --> 00:19:01,794
The world needs "khao", just as the
world needs people like Stu.
234
00:19:03,229 --> 00:19:07,230
To my sweet daughter and Stu!
Congratulations!
235
00:19:07,231 --> 00:19:08,805
Cheers!
236
00:19:12,384 --> 00:19:16,561
And now I believe that Teddy has
something to say.
237
00:19:17,490 --> 00:19:21,844
Sit down! I got this.
Sit down, boy!
238
00:19:22,742 --> 00:19:25,524
That was a.. a great speech, sir!
239
00:19:25,525 --> 00:19:31,284
I like the comparison between
Stu and rice.
240
00:19:32,337 --> 00:19:36,047
I've also prepared a few words.
241
00:19:36,048 --> 00:19:38,948
Hey everybody. Here's some fun facts.
242
00:19:38,949 --> 00:19:42,582
The population in Thailand is 63 million people.
243
00:19:42,583 --> 00:19:45,369
It is twice the size of Wyoming.
244
00:19:45,370 --> 00:19:49,307
It's chief exports are textiles, footwear
and rice.
245
00:19:49,308 --> 00:19:55,450
Each year approximately 13,000 people are
killed in car accidents in Thailand.
246
00:19:55,451 --> 00:19:57,492
- The climate in Thailand...
- Alan!
247
00:19:57,493 --> 00:20:02,579
- Why don't you skip to the last card there, buddy.
- Okay. Sorry!
248
00:20:05,678 --> 00:20:08,546
None of you know Stu like I do.
249
00:20:08,547 --> 00:20:14,422
Not you... not you... not you...
250
00:20:14,423 --> 00:20:18,314
Not nobody knows Stu like I do.
251
00:20:19,328 --> 00:20:21,532
No one!
252
00:20:21,533 --> 00:20:25,336
I can't even tell you what we've been
through cause we made a pact.
253
00:20:25,337 --> 00:20:27,806
More important than blood.
254
00:20:27,807 --> 00:20:33,128
What I can tell you is this. This is
not Stu's first marriage.
255
00:20:33,130 --> 00:20:36,532
There was a whore in Las Vegas
a couple of years ago.
256
00:20:36,533 --> 00:20:38,457
Sit down...
257
00:20:40,642 --> 00:20:45,414
- Enough! He'll get over it!
- Okay. Thanks, Phil!
258
00:20:54,211 --> 00:20:56,385
In your face!
259
00:20:59,412 --> 00:21:03,121
Well that was exactly as painful as I
expected it to be.
260
00:21:03,122 --> 00:21:04,656
Sorry...
261
00:21:06,281 --> 00:21:09,776
- Oh, rice pudding! What are you doing?
- HaHa. Very funny!
262
00:21:09,777 --> 00:21:12,314
Be nice, Phil! He's extra sensitive tonight.
263
00:21:12,315 --> 00:21:15,660
Get over it! He's your father in law. He's
supposed to hate you.
264
00:21:15,911 --> 00:21:18,327
Come have a drink with me and the guys.
265
00:21:18,328 --> 00:21:23,229
You know... I'm really exhausted. We're
just gonna go upstairs and crash.
266
00:21:23,230 --> 00:21:26,626
C'mon, I just spoke with the manager. He's
gonna let us have a bonfire on the beach.
267
00:21:26,627 --> 00:21:28,470
That sounds fun!
268
00:21:30,560 --> 00:21:32,808
- Nyah... I'm good.
- He's tired!
269
00:21:32,809 --> 00:21:36,005
Stu, one drink with your friends who
came all this way.
270
00:21:36,006 --> 00:21:39,236
- I just wanna hang out with you!
- Oh c'mon. Just go! And do me a favor.
271
00:21:39,237 --> 00:21:43,622
Take Teddy with you. He never gets to
have any fun.
272
00:21:43,623 --> 00:21:46,248
That is a great idea. Bring the kid.
273
00:21:46,249 --> 00:21:49,222
- Alright. One drink!
- Perfect.
274
00:21:49,223 --> 00:21:51,210
- See you later.
- Have fun!
275
00:21:51,211 --> 00:21:54,399
- You have the key?
- Yep, got it right here!
276
00:21:54,401 --> 00:21:56,939
I'll see you in 20 minutes!
277
00:21:59,618 --> 00:22:03,371
My uncle Roger said that he once saw
an albino polar bear.
278
00:22:03,373 --> 00:22:08,204
Really? Polar bears are white.
How would he know if it's an albino?
279
00:22:09,715 --> 00:22:12,467
This one was black.
280
00:22:14,003 --> 00:22:17,759
Did you ever think maybe it was
just a black bear?
281
00:22:20,627 --> 00:22:22,340
Whatever...
282
00:22:22,591 --> 00:22:26,880
Ok. Here we go. American beer.
283
00:22:26,881 --> 00:22:30,089
- Sealed bottle!
- Thank you. Alright!
284
00:22:31,631 --> 00:22:34,915
- I'm not really old enough to drink.
- Yeah, it's illegal.
285
00:22:34,916 --> 00:22:37,432
Would be a shame if somebody reported you.
286
00:22:37,433 --> 00:22:41,840
Nobody's reporting anybody.
It's fine Teddy. Have a little fun.
287
00:22:41,841 --> 00:22:43,302
Careful!
288
00:22:43,303 --> 00:22:47,407
What is this? Instant marshmallows?
Nice touch!
289
00:22:47,408 --> 00:22:50,628
- That was Alan's idea.
- Good thinking, Al!
290
00:22:51,692 --> 00:22:56,509
You know... I gotta hand it to you, Stu!
This place is paradise.
291
00:22:56,510 --> 00:22:57,824
Not bad, right?
292
00:22:57,825 --> 00:23:02,612
And I can't believe I'm saying this,
but I'm actually jealous of you.
293
00:23:02,613 --> 00:23:06,176
- I mean, Lauren is an angel.
- Yeah, she really is amazing.
294
00:23:06,277 --> 00:23:07,703
Wow, you guys are sweet.
295
00:23:07,904 --> 00:23:13,162
Not big breasts on her. But still, solid
rack for an Asian.
296
00:23:13,163 --> 00:23:16,217
- Sorry, Teddy, but it's true.
- That's ok.
297
00:23:16,218 --> 00:23:18,459
That is just wildly inappropriate.
298
00:23:18,460 --> 00:23:25,747
And yet... I'm really glad you're here.
All you guys. Even you Alan.
299
00:23:25,748 --> 00:23:29,154
It means a lot that you made the trip.
Thank you.
300
00:23:29,155 --> 00:23:31,846
- Wouldn't have missed it buddy.
- Great!
301
00:23:31,847 --> 00:23:35,355
Now. Can we have our one fucking beer, dad?
302
00:23:36,800 --> 00:23:39,704
Alright. Toast! C'mon stand up guys.
303
00:23:40,756 --> 00:23:42,293
Come over here, Alan!
304
00:23:44,010 --> 00:23:46,635
To Lauren and Stu!
305
00:23:46,636 --> 00:23:49,635
- You did it, buddy.
- Sure did.
306
00:23:50,360 --> 00:23:51,860
Cheers!
307
00:25:09,103 --> 00:25:11,768
What the hell...
308
00:25:50,587 --> 00:25:51,797
What?
309
00:26:17,755 --> 00:26:19,341
Phil...
310
00:26:20,302 --> 00:26:23,156
I think it happened again.
311
00:26:23,157 --> 00:26:28,410
- Alan, what the fuck did you do?
- I didn't do anything. I swear to god.
312
00:26:28,411 --> 00:26:31,937
Your hair is gone.
313
00:26:31,938 --> 00:26:36,619
No, no... up.
314
00:26:42,480 --> 00:26:45,620
Where the fuck are we?
315
00:26:53,132 --> 00:26:55,066
Phil, I'm scared.
316
00:27:06,410 --> 00:27:09,537
Stu, c'mon get up! We got a situation.
317
00:27:18,132 --> 00:27:22,464
- Oh, holy shit!
- Where are we?
318
00:27:24,584 --> 00:27:30,325
- Oh my god, Alan. Your head.
- No your head!
319
00:27:30,326 --> 00:27:34,566
- Is it bald?
- Stu, you're gonna freak out, but it's gonna be ok.
320
00:27:34,567 --> 00:27:38,529
- Why? Was it my teeth?
- Nope, it's not your teeth.
321
00:27:38,530 --> 00:27:40,120
- Are you sure?
- Yep.
322
00:27:40,121 --> 00:27:41,969
Can you see the bottom?
323
00:27:44,641 --> 00:27:50,006
Oh my god! What the fu...ck
324
00:27:51,278 --> 00:27:54,386
That's good. Why don't you try to wash it off.
325
00:27:54,387 --> 00:28:00,025
It's not coming off. This is a real tattoo!
326
00:28:00,026 --> 00:28:03,386
- Alan, what did you do! Did you Roofie me?
- I didn't do anything!
327
00:28:03,387 --> 00:28:05,896
Stu, he swore to god!
328
00:28:07,344 --> 00:28:08,877
What happened?
329
00:28:12,280 --> 00:28:15,539
Get it off of me!
330
00:28:17,844 --> 00:28:20,874
- What the hell?
- It's a monkey.
331
00:28:20,875 --> 00:28:24,615
What a cute little mask. Hi little monkey.
332
00:28:24,616 --> 00:28:26,085
Alan...
333
00:28:29,661 --> 00:28:33,307
Phone! Alan, go find the phone!
334
00:28:34,253 --> 00:28:35,726
I got it!
335
00:28:36,826 --> 00:28:40,100
- Doug, where the hell are you?
- I'm at breakfast. By the pool.
336
00:28:40,101 --> 00:28:44,362
- You guys coming down or what?
- Oh Jesus. Thank god. Doug's fine.
337
00:28:44,364 --> 00:28:48,614
- Stu, Doug's fine. He's at the resort.
- Why aren't we at the resort.
338
00:28:48,615 --> 00:28:50,260
What's going on? Where are you guys?
339
00:28:50,262 --> 00:28:54,366
I do not know, man! We woke up
in some shit hole room in some city.
340
00:28:54,367 --> 00:28:58,072
- Oh god. What city?
- I don't know, Doug!
341
00:28:58,073 --> 00:29:00,840
Fuckin Asia-town.
342
00:29:00,841 --> 00:29:04,028
- I do not know, I told you.
- Where are we?
343
00:29:09,291 --> 00:29:12,184
- Hey Stu.
- What?
344
00:29:12,185 --> 00:29:14,760
Check this out.
345
00:29:14,761 --> 00:29:18,571
Ever seen anything like this?
346
00:29:25,011 --> 00:29:29,023
- What is that?
- Careful. Might be a spiders nest.
347
00:29:29,024 --> 00:29:31,647
I've tangled with those before.
348
00:29:31,648 --> 00:29:36,917
I don't get it man. We each had one beer
last night, right? I mean you too!
349
00:29:36,918 --> 00:29:40,600
- Yeah but I left early, remember?
- I don't remember shit!
350
00:29:40,601 --> 00:29:43,645
Tracy wasn't feeling well. She came
down to get me.
351
00:29:43,646 --> 00:29:47,897
- Wait and second. Is Teddy with you guys?
- Teddy? What? What are you talking about?
352
00:29:47,898 --> 00:29:50,732
He wasn't in his room. They've been
looking for him all morning.
353
00:29:50,733 --> 00:29:53,750
- Teddy went to Stanford, right?
- Yeah. Why?
354
00:29:53,751 --> 00:29:55,675
Fuck!
355
00:29:57,374 --> 00:30:00,380
- I just found his finger!
- What?
356
00:30:01,101 --> 00:30:06,044
- I just found his fucking finger, Doug!
- Phil, what is going on?
357
00:30:06,495 --> 00:30:10,458
Alright. Alright, alright... this is
what we're gonna do.
358
00:30:10,459 --> 00:30:13,801
You tell the girls that we woke up early and went
on a fishing trip, ok. And that's where we are.
359
00:30:13,802 --> 00:30:16,987
- Right.
- Right, stay by the phone!
360
00:30:18,077 --> 00:30:20,178
Shit!
361
00:30:22,939 --> 00:30:25,908
Uh, we got a little bit of a problem.
362
00:30:26,760 --> 00:30:28,764
What is that?
363
00:30:29,318 --> 00:30:31,256
We don't know.
364
00:30:31,951 --> 00:30:36,540
- Is it a worm?
- It's a mushroom.
365
00:30:37,816 --> 00:30:40,117
Yeah, shiitake.
366
00:30:40,654 --> 00:30:43,814
Monkey, taste it! Is it shiitake?
367
00:30:43,815 --> 00:30:48,423
- He can't understand you.
- He just did.
368
00:30:48,424 --> 00:30:51,873
- Why is he pulling on it?
- He's probably hungry.
369
00:30:51,874 --> 00:30:54,460
Wait a second. Is that...
370
00:30:54,462 --> 00:30:59,525
What the fuck man. Tell that gay monkey
to leave my shit alone.
371
00:30:59,526 --> 00:31:00,931
Chow?
372
00:31:00,932 --> 00:31:03,957
You're fucking crazy.
373
00:31:03,958 --> 00:31:09,975
It's so fucking light in here!
Alan, grab me my sunglasses!
374
00:31:09,977 --> 00:31:15,065
- It's great to see you, Leslie!
- Nice to see you too my little popo.
375
00:31:15,066 --> 00:31:17,092
Chow, what the fuck are you doing here?
376
00:31:17,093 --> 00:31:20,753
Alan called me a few days ago and
invited me to the wedding.
377
00:31:20,754 --> 00:31:23,057
- Excuse me?
- What, he's my plus one.
378
00:31:23,058 --> 00:31:25,796
You don't have plus one. It's $200 a plate.
379
00:31:25,797 --> 00:31:28,978
Guys, guys. Just focus, ok.
Chow, what happened?
380
00:31:28,979 --> 00:31:33,665
You guys texted me, said you're fucked
up and looking to party.
381
00:31:39,859 --> 00:31:43,199
I picked you up on my boat and I brought
you here to Bangkok.
382
00:31:43,200 --> 00:31:45,929
But we had a sick night, bitches!
383
00:31:45,930 --> 00:31:51,089
Wait a second Chow, we're in Bangkok?
384
00:31:51,090 --> 00:31:54,457
Holler, city of squalor.
385
00:31:54,458 --> 00:31:59,394
- Do you know how I got this tattoo?
- Uh, yeah from a fucking tattoo guy!
386
00:31:59,395 --> 00:32:02,580
Come on Stu, use that big Jewish brain.
387
00:32:02,581 --> 00:32:04,656
What's the monkey holding?
388
00:32:07,193 --> 00:32:11,361
- That's a finger!
- Stu, I got some bad news.
389
00:32:11,362 --> 00:32:16,002
Teddy was with us last night.
That's his finger.
390
00:32:17,355 --> 00:32:22,792
- Teddy's dead?
- Teddy's not dead! He partied with us all night!
391
00:32:22,794 --> 00:32:26,621
- Well then where is he?
- Don't you remember anything?
392
00:32:26,622 --> 00:32:30,072
- No!
- No, nothing, Chow.
393
00:32:30,073 --> 00:32:33,303
Ok I explain it all, ok?
394
00:32:33,304 --> 00:32:38,377
Just let me do one bump, get my head straight.
Come to papa.
395
00:32:38,378 --> 00:32:40,919
That's a big...
396
00:32:46,169 --> 00:32:50,441
You ready for craziest fucking story ever...
397
00:33:00,235 --> 00:33:01,770
Chow!
398
00:33:03,697 --> 00:33:07,051
Hey Chow, you okay?
399
00:33:08,424 --> 00:33:11,436
You gotta be kidding me.
400
00:33:16,575 --> 00:33:19,214
Fuck, he's dead!
401
00:33:24,853 --> 00:33:26,164
- Help!
- Stu!
402
00:33:26,960 --> 00:33:30,306
- Help!
- Stu, shut up!
403
00:33:30,307 --> 00:33:33,246
- Call an ambulance!
- Shut up! He's dead!
404
00:33:33,247 --> 00:33:36,175
Look if someone comes and finds a dead
body and a pile of cocaine...
405
00:33:36,176 --> 00:33:39,730
We're gonna spend the rest of our fucking
lives in a Thai prison.
406
00:33:40,419 --> 00:33:43,182
Alan! Please don't cry!
407
00:33:44,552 --> 00:33:49,553
Alright. Alright. I just need a second to
figure this out.
408
00:34:05,361 --> 00:34:08,020
ICE MACHINE LOCATED ON 15TH FLOOR.
409
00:34:23,384 --> 00:34:25,506
Look, this is the worst idea, ever.
410
00:34:25,507 --> 00:34:27,381
What the fuck is this place?
411
00:34:27,382 --> 00:34:31,211
Bangkok is the capital of Thailand. Its
population is 12 million people...
412
00:34:31,212 --> 00:34:33,982
Alan, will you help!
413
00:34:39,845 --> 00:34:43,299
- The elevator!
- I'll get the button!
414
00:34:46,169 --> 00:34:50,092
- What the fuck is the deal with this monkey?
- That monkey gets it!
415
00:34:51,538 --> 00:34:53,163
- Come on!
- Fuck no!
416
00:34:53,164 --> 00:34:56,231
The powers out. We gotta take the stairs.
417
00:34:56,232 --> 00:34:57,676
- Oh fuck!
- Come on!
418
00:35:03,286 --> 00:35:05,040
Here it is!
419
00:35:05,535 --> 00:35:09,048
Feet first. I've done this before.
420
00:35:14,490 --> 00:35:16,502
Careful!
421
00:35:36,074 --> 00:35:38,734
- Stu!
- What?
422
00:35:40,805 --> 00:35:44,709
- We still have to find Teddy!
- Oh god.
423
00:35:52,963 --> 00:35:54,675
The roof!
424
00:35:54,676 --> 00:35:58,800
Teddy!
425
00:36:06,303 --> 00:36:09,379
- You guys see him?
- No!
426
00:36:18,355 --> 00:36:20,047
He's not here.
427
00:36:22,263 --> 00:36:25,943
I can't believe this is happening again.
428
00:36:28,109 --> 00:36:32,419
Ok, look. We'll handle this. You get
back there.
429
00:36:32,420 --> 00:36:36,030
You tell them that Alan and I got drunk
with him, we're still partying.
430
00:36:36,032 --> 00:36:41,243
- You gotta go get married!
- No! Not going back without Teddy!
431
00:36:41,245 --> 00:36:44,313
He's Lauren's little brother. He's lost,
he's injured.
432
00:36:45,967 --> 00:36:52,020
If I fuck this up, I lose everything.
433
00:36:53,533 --> 00:36:55,063
Ok.
434
00:36:56,129 --> 00:36:57,688
Alright.
435
00:36:59,099 --> 00:37:02,102
- Alan, check your pockets!
- What?
436
00:37:02,103 --> 00:37:05,029
You know the drill. C'mon there might
be clues.
437
00:37:05,030 --> 00:37:08,961
- Check your phones! Numbers, texts.
- That's a good idea!
438
00:37:09,705 --> 00:37:13,102
- I got nothing. Fuck!
- I got an text from Chow.
439
00:37:13,103 --> 00:37:15,956
- What time?
- Uh, 10 o'clock last night.
440
00:37:15,957 --> 00:37:20,269
- What's it say?
- "On my way, Niggahs"
441
00:37:20,271 --> 00:37:23,547
Oh, Niggahs... ok... hip hop.
442
00:37:26,037 --> 00:37:30,569
We are so... fucked!
443
00:37:30,570 --> 00:37:35,888
Hey Phil! Look who's back!
444
00:37:37,358 --> 00:37:41,362
We gotta get you out of the sun. You're
too hot.
445
00:37:42,913 --> 00:37:45,771
Phil, I really think we should go to
the American Consulate.
446
00:37:45,772 --> 00:37:49,267
For what? To report a dead body we shoved
into an ice machine?
447
00:37:49,268 --> 00:37:52,584
What are we gonna do? Keep walking around
in circles? Cause that's real productive.
448
00:37:52,585 --> 00:37:55,220
You know I'm trying to figure this thing
out here and your attitude is not helping.
449
00:37:55,221 --> 00:37:58,441
I'm sorry. It's a 100 degrees and we
don't have a plan.
450
00:37:58,442 --> 00:38:00,836
And all we've done is buy him hats and sodas.
451
00:38:00,837 --> 00:38:03,677
-What, it's a bag of Fanta!
- Alright, what do you want to do, Stu?
452
00:38:03,679 --> 00:38:04,803
I don't know!
453
00:38:04,804 --> 00:38:06,845
Well then stop yelling at me like it's my fuckin fault.
454
00:38:06,846 --> 00:38:08,438
It is your fault!
455
00:38:08,439 --> 00:38:10,886
All I wanted was a bachelor brunch.
456
00:38:10,887 --> 00:38:13,176
Shit! Shut up! It's Doug! Talk to me!
457
00:38:13,177 --> 00:38:16,853
I just got off the phone with Bangkok PD.
They've got him. He's ok.
458
00:38:16,854 --> 00:38:20,082
Oh thank god! Doug found him.
459
00:38:20,083 --> 00:38:21,930
- What happened?
- He got arrested.
460
00:38:21,931 --> 00:38:24,740
- Arrested? For what?
- Disorderly conduct.
461
00:38:24,741 --> 00:38:27,023
- Seriously?
- Yeah! He's ok though.
462
00:38:27,024 --> 00:38:30,649
They'll release him to you. No questions
asked. No one has to know.
463
00:38:30,900 --> 00:38:36,658
He's at the Ratra Wang police station.
464
00:38:36,659 --> 00:38:38,894
Ok. I'll call you when we get there.
465
00:38:38,895 --> 00:38:41,388
Teddy's in jail, but he's fine. We
gotta get a cab.
466
00:38:41,389 --> 00:38:43,558
- Ok!
- Alright!
467
00:38:47,992 --> 00:38:50,766
- Yes, I have his paperwork here.
- Okay.
468
00:38:50,767 --> 00:38:54,831
- He has been treated.
- Sounds good.
469
00:38:54,832 --> 00:38:58,304
We're good. They've processed him for
release.
470
00:38:59,116 --> 00:39:01,714
They put him in the drunk tank. He's fine.
471
00:39:01,715 --> 00:39:05,642
Sixteen years old and spent a night in
jail. Can you imagine?
472
00:39:05,643 --> 00:39:09,070
Haha! We love to party.
473
00:39:11,784 --> 00:39:13,329
Here we go!
474
00:39:14,581 --> 00:39:17,270
- Wait who's this fuckin guy?
- Teddy Sisay.
475
00:39:17,271 --> 00:39:20,618
No, no, no, no. That's the wrong guy! Sir!
476
00:39:20,619 --> 00:39:25,351
Excuse me.. I'm sorry. Officer. You brought
the wrong guy. That's not Teddy!
477
00:39:25,352 --> 00:39:29,469
Of course it is!
We have his ID's and everything!
478
00:39:29,470 --> 00:39:32,617
These were in his pocket
when we made the arrest.
479
00:39:32,618 --> 00:39:34,684
They were in his pocket?
480
00:39:35,657 --> 00:39:39,754
Excuse me, sir! How did you get this stuff?
481
00:39:40,469 --> 00:39:42,198
Hello?
482
00:39:42,199 --> 00:39:47,757
Teddy doesn't speak. We tried English,
Thai, Chinese... Nothing.
483
00:39:47,758 --> 00:39:49,538
Let me ask you something.
484
00:39:49,540 --> 00:39:54,532
Does he look like he works out at Bally
Total Fitness in Palo Alto, California?
485
00:39:54,533 --> 00:40:01,049
Look. We arrest a lot of people. We cannot
analyze everything.
486
00:40:01,050 --> 00:40:05,375
- What do you expect us to do with this guy?
- Not my problem!
487
00:40:06,100 --> 00:40:12,334
Hey guys, I think he knows us. Hi. Hello.
488
00:40:15,188 --> 00:40:19,632
You know where our friend is, Teddy?
He's missing!
489
00:40:19,634 --> 00:40:23,464
- Stu, forget it. The guys worthless.
- He knows something!
490
00:40:23,465 --> 00:40:26,435
He's wearing Teddy's sweatshirt.
491
00:40:26,436 --> 00:40:32,575
Maybe he just doesn't understand. I'll
act it out. Yeah, like charades. Watch.
492
00:40:32,576 --> 00:40:35,146
- Two words.
- Is it a movie?
493
00:40:35,147 --> 00:40:37,901
This is not for you, Alan!
494
00:40:39,128 --> 00:40:45,722
- American teenager... in Asia.
- Karate Kid, with Jaden Smith.
495
00:40:45,723 --> 00:40:48,563
It's easy cause you're talking to him.
496
00:40:48,564 --> 00:40:52,385
Stu, it's a waste of time! Just leave
this fucking guy here.
497
00:40:52,387 --> 00:40:56,455
Here's something. There are 500 thousand
monks living in Thailand.
498
00:40:56,456 --> 00:41:03,060
It is not uncommon for some monks to take
a vow of silence, at the age of eight.
499
00:41:03,062 --> 00:41:04,190
There you go.
500
00:41:04,191 --> 00:41:07,015
- Anything else in that envelope?
- Nah, it's empty.
501
00:41:08,714 --> 00:41:13,932
Woah, hang on. A drink card from White
Lion bar in Bangkok?
502
00:41:14,747 --> 00:41:17,149
Worth a shot.
503
00:41:18,684 --> 00:41:21,819
Jesus christ! Is this the right street?
504
00:41:21,820 --> 00:41:24,280
That's what it says.
505
00:41:30,121 --> 00:41:35,279
- Whoa! This is the White Lion!
- What the fuck happened here?
506
00:41:35,280 --> 00:41:37,928
Holy shit!
507
00:41:37,953 --> 00:41:42,153
(yelling in Thai)
508
00:41:42,283 --> 00:41:45,354
- Let's...
- We should probably...
509
00:41:49,838 --> 00:41:51,481
That's ok.
510
00:41:51,482 --> 00:41:54,755
What the fuck is going on here?
511
00:41:56,110 --> 00:42:01,596
- Whoa, guys. Check it out!
- Holy shit! Stu, look!
512
00:42:01,597 --> 00:42:07,857
That's my face. Go, go go!
Nice work, Alan!
513
00:42:09,452 --> 00:42:12,634
- Hello?
- Be with you in a minute!
514
00:42:16,214 --> 00:42:19,676
- Excuse me.
- Oh, look who it is!
515
00:42:19,677 --> 00:42:23,553
- So what do ya think?
- What, I'm sorry?
516
00:42:23,554 --> 00:42:29,043
- The tattoo. You love it?
- Uh, no. Actually, I hate it.
517
00:42:29,044 --> 00:42:32,000
- No refunds. Get the fuck out!
- Wait a second!
518
00:42:32,001 --> 00:42:33,633
Read the sign!
519
00:42:33,634 --> 00:42:35,230
NO REFUNDS. GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE.
520
00:42:35,231 --> 00:42:37,959
We don't want any refunds. We just have
a couple of questions.
521
00:42:37,960 --> 00:42:40,087
We're trying to figure out what went
down last night.
522
00:42:40,088 --> 00:42:44,919
What went down? Take a look at what you
did outside. Half the neighborhood went down.
523
00:42:44,920 --> 00:42:48,962
- We did that?
- You don't remember getting into a bar fight at the White Lion?
524
00:42:48,964 --> 00:42:54,495
- Starting a full on fuckin riot?
- Sir, we don't remember anything.
525
00:42:58,598 --> 00:43:01,887
Oh boy...
526
00:43:02,824 --> 00:43:05,743
Check this out!
527
00:43:09,032 --> 00:43:11,351
Oh shit!
528
00:43:14,214 --> 00:43:18,139
Fuck the Police!
529
00:43:21,334 --> 00:43:24,221
There's Teddy! He was with us!
530
00:43:37,722 --> 00:43:39,294
Jesus christ!
531
00:43:39,295 --> 00:43:42,155
That's when the cops arrived and started
cracking skulls.
532
00:43:42,156 --> 00:43:45,067
I took you guys and hid you in the
shop here.
533
00:43:45,068 --> 00:43:49,530
Then you decided to get a tattoo.
You cried like a little bitch.
534
00:43:49,531 --> 00:43:52,906
This kid is fucking nine years old. He's
got balls twice your size.
535
00:43:52,907 --> 00:43:56,820
- Show him your balls, Nao!
- No, no, no. That's ok.
536
00:43:56,821 --> 00:44:00,539
Listen, we're looking for our friend Teddy.
Have you seen him?
537
00:44:00,540 --> 00:44:02,773
Not since last night. Why? What happened?
538
00:44:02,774 --> 00:44:06,566
Yeah, I'm supposed to marry his sister
tomorrow and we kinda lost him.
539
00:44:07,854 --> 00:44:12,234
- Oh well. Then fuck it!
- What do you mean, fuck it?
540
00:44:12,235 --> 00:44:15,928
Bangkok has him now and she'll never
let him go.
541
00:44:15,929 --> 00:44:20,226
- You hear that, huh? Is this what you
wanted? You happy now?
542
00:44:20,227 --> 00:44:23,844
You're wasting your time. These monks
take their vow shit seriously.
543
00:44:23,845 --> 00:44:29,168
Look at this. That's the sign of the Chang
Mai Monastery, just outside of town.
544
00:44:29,169 --> 00:44:32,506
Maybe somebody over there can get him
to talk.
545
00:44:37,107 --> 00:44:39,852
- Ok, can we just go over this one
more time? You got the beer from...
546
00:44:39,953 --> 00:44:42,981
- The hotel bar. They gave me a sealed case.
- Right.
547
00:44:44,082 --> 00:44:46,715
- But, who gave it to you?
- The bartender.
548
00:44:47,583 --> 00:44:50,040
And then you brought em out and
I opened them.
549
00:44:50,041 --> 00:44:53,693
Yeah and Doug had one and he was fine
so it's not the beer.
550
00:44:53,694 --> 00:44:56,210
- So what the hell happened?
- I have no idea!
551
00:44:56,211 --> 00:44:59,712
Hey guys. Check it out. He's got a
Chinese boner.
552
00:44:59,713 --> 00:45:03,019
Alan, come on! Cut it out!
553
00:45:05,474 --> 00:45:09,909
- That is so wrong!
- Don't stop monkey, keep doing it.
554
00:45:19,877 --> 00:45:25,090
When a monkey nibbles on a penis
it's funny in any language!
555
00:45:26,302 --> 00:45:28,494
Keep doing it!
556
00:45:30,347 --> 00:45:31,756
Alright, thank you!
557
00:45:33,816 --> 00:45:37,508
Bye Shannon! Bye Little Wayne!
558
00:45:47,441 --> 00:45:50,370
Wow! So beautiful!
559
00:45:52,566 --> 00:45:55,222
What is this, a PF Chang's?
560
00:45:56,504 --> 00:45:59,492
Ah, they're meditating.
561
00:45:59,493 --> 00:46:02,845
- Such a peaceful people!
- Yeah.
562
00:46:02,846 --> 00:46:06,865
- Knock, knock! Hello!
- Alan! Show some respect!
563
00:46:06,866 --> 00:46:11,090
- Don't get up guys.
- We brought one of your guys back.
564
00:46:11,091 --> 00:46:14,079
He's really funny. He's really nice
and cool.
565
00:46:14,080 --> 00:46:17,688
Hi, how you doing. You the one in charge?
566
00:46:20,323 --> 00:46:23,387
- Excuse me... ow... Wait!
- Stop it! Calm down!
567
00:46:24,742 --> 00:46:29,619
Hold on. It's because we're talking.
568
00:46:29,620 --> 00:46:32,465
God damn it! Oh! Stop!
569
00:46:32,466 --> 00:46:35,521
Wait it's me!
570
00:46:35,522 --> 00:46:37,417
Oh I get it.
571
00:46:40,755 --> 00:46:44,434
No talk! No talk! Shh.. Ok...
572
00:46:50,130 --> 00:46:52,518
Ok.
573
00:47:12,009 --> 00:47:17,016
Late last night, you climbed the walls
of our monastery.
574
00:47:17,017 --> 00:47:24,179
Shouting out questions about love, marriage
and the meaning of life.
575
00:47:24,651 --> 00:47:28,275
Poor brother Han was meditating alone
in the garden.
576
00:47:28,276 --> 00:47:32,651
- And you took him.
- Oh my god!
577
00:47:33,045 --> 00:47:37,616
- We kidnapped a monk.
- We live an alternative life style.
578
00:47:37,617 --> 00:47:43,067
We are so sorry about that, but we weren't
ourselves last night.
579
00:47:43,068 --> 00:47:49,402
Yep, things kinda spun outta control a little
bit. But there's a boy who's missing and hurt.
580
00:47:49,403 --> 00:47:52,703
Can you find out if he knows where our
friend is?
581
00:47:52,704 --> 00:47:56,205
Brother Han took a vow of silence many
years ago.
582
00:47:56,206 --> 00:47:58,374
It would be useless to try.
583
00:47:58,375 --> 00:48:02,648
Well maybe he can write down what happened,
on a piece of paper?
584
00:48:02,649 --> 00:48:05,874
Actually Phil, that would be cheating.
Isn't that right, Grand Wizard.
585
00:48:05,875 --> 00:48:08,925
- Alan!
- I'm afraid fatty is right.
586
00:48:08,926 --> 00:48:10,918
See?... What?
587
00:48:10,919 --> 00:48:14,965
None of us will ever know what brother
Han knows.
588
00:48:15,966 --> 00:48:19,418
Oh, alright. Well, so much for holy people.
Bunch of bald assholes. C'mon, let's go.
589
00:48:19,419 --> 00:48:23,645
Hey you know what! FYI! You may want to
put some signs up that say no talking...
590
00:48:23,646 --> 00:48:25,993
- ...before you unleash your dragon.
- Yeah, that was a little rough.
591
00:48:25,994 --> 00:48:29,233
And "your welcome" for bringing him
back safe.
592
00:48:29,234 --> 00:48:32,206
- You know we found him in the drunk tank.
- Yeah well we did take him in the first place.
593
00:48:32,257 --> 00:48:36,177
- C'mon guys, let's go.
- Wait!
594
00:48:37,050 --> 00:48:42,975
The Buddha teach, every memory lives
somewhere deep within.
595
00:48:42,976 --> 00:48:47,942
Perhaps you should bring your question
to the Garden of Meditation.
596
00:48:47,943 --> 00:48:51,167
- Did you understand a word he just said?
- Yeah, yeah. About two thirds.
597
00:48:51,168 --> 00:48:52,882
He said something about the Garden of
Meditation?
598
00:48:52,883 --> 00:48:55,630
No, he said he's farting because of
his medication.
599
00:48:55,631 --> 00:48:58,046
I get that.
600
00:49:03,168 --> 00:49:08,345
It's a waste of time. I don't remember
anything. Do you?
601
00:49:08,346 --> 00:49:13,777
No. I got nothing. Alan?
602
00:49:16,013 --> 00:49:17,804
Alan!
603
00:49:20,703 --> 00:49:23,867
"Every memory lives somewhere deep within"
604
00:49:23,964 --> 00:49:25,490
- Sweetie.
- What?
605
00:49:25,836 --> 00:49:27,132
You have visitors.
606
00:49:27,416 --> 00:49:29,247
- Hey, Alan!
- Hey, guys!
607
00:49:29,373 --> 00:49:31,249
- Hey, Phil.
- Hey buddy!
608
00:49:31,356 --> 00:49:33,213
Stu would like to invite you to his wedding.
609
00:49:33,406 --> 00:49:37,160
- Is this true, Stuart?
- Yeah, why not. It'll be fun.
610
00:49:38,563 --> 00:49:39,536
Fuck!
611
00:49:39,631 --> 00:49:43,349
- For Lauren and Stu!
- Cheers!
612
00:49:46,002 --> 00:49:49,200
- Chow!
- We had a sick night bitches!
613
00:49:50,647 --> 00:49:52,074
Alan, what the fuck!
614
00:49:53,360 --> 00:49:55,280
Is that person coming to the wedding?
615
00:49:55,378 --> 00:49:58,967
- There is no wolfpack.
- Alan, Alan, don't do that!
616
00:49:59,051 --> 00:50:00,721
And finally...
617
00:50:00,834 --> 00:50:03,178
The three best friends anyone could have.
618
00:50:13,004 --> 00:50:15,705
Fuck the Police!
619
00:50:27,703 --> 00:50:29,024
I know where to go.
620
00:50:32,323 --> 00:50:35,972
- What do you think, Alan?
- This is the place.
621
00:50:36,434 --> 00:50:38,072
C'mon. Let's go.
622
00:50:42,928 --> 00:50:44,826
I don't remember any of this!
623
00:50:46,224 --> 00:50:49,607
- Yeah Alan, you sure this is the place?
- Yeah, pretty sure.
624
00:50:57,887 --> 00:50:59,773
Rose! Harmony!
625
00:51:00,528 --> 00:51:02,757
Is he coming or what? I've been waiting
all day for him.
626
00:51:02,918 --> 00:51:07,211
- I'm sorry. Waiting for who?
- Chow, that dick ass fuck!
627
00:51:08,244 --> 00:51:10,722
- Why? What's wrong?
- Nothings wrong.
628
00:51:11,273 --> 00:51:16,047
Ok, good. Look at this. Look what I
bring for him. Check it out, huh.
629
00:51:16,190 --> 00:51:18,580
- No, no!
- $ 6,000 American.
630
00:51:18,709 --> 00:51:20,894
Wow looks so real!
631
00:51:27,500 --> 00:51:28,740
Sorry!
632
00:51:29,122 --> 00:51:34,414
- Alan, what the fuck!
- It's ok. The gun, it's very sensitive.
633
00:51:34,888 --> 00:51:36,925
Everybody ok?
634
00:51:37,654 --> 00:51:42,916
Ok, then get the fuck back to work!
Come on. Music, please!
635
00:51:43,719 --> 00:51:45,194
Where is my 6,000 dollars?
636
00:51:45,332 --> 00:51:48,996
6,000? No, no, no. This is Chow's deal. We
got nothing to do with that.
637
00:51:49,230 --> 00:51:51,100
Un-fucking believable.
638
00:51:51,258 --> 00:51:54,911
This guy, if he backs out again, the
shits gonna catch up with him.
639
00:51:55,034 --> 00:51:58,830
He's made a lot of enemies in this town,
and now they're gonna be your enemies.
640
00:51:58,927 --> 00:52:00,288
That's not fair!
641
00:52:00,423 --> 00:52:02,894
Ok listen. We're just looking for a
little kid.
642
00:52:03,008 --> 00:52:04,882
- 2,000 dollars.
- What!
643
00:52:05,025 --> 00:52:07,788
I don't know, maybe more. How young you
want this kid to be?
644
00:52:07,894 --> 00:52:14,700
No, no! Sorry, you misunderstood. We're
looking for our friend... 16 years old.
645
00:52:14,811 --> 00:52:16,617
- Teddy.
- Teddy?
646
00:52:16,844 --> 00:52:19,055
- Yeah he was here with you guys last night.
- He was?
647
00:52:19,190 --> 00:52:20,759
Do you know if he left with us?
648
00:52:20,913 --> 00:52:23,533
I don't know. You were in the corner all
night with Kimmy.
649
00:52:23,626 --> 00:52:25,282
- I didn't see you leave.
- Kimmy?
650
00:52:25,416 --> 00:52:28,708
- Is she here?
- Yes, she's in the back. She just came for her shit.
651
00:52:28,839 --> 00:52:30,159
Go and talk to her.
652
00:52:30,549 --> 00:52:33,066
Alright, listen. I'm sorry about everything
that happened.
653
00:52:33,183 --> 00:52:35,567
Listen to me, ok? Pay attention to what
I'm going to talk to you know.
654
00:52:35,673 --> 00:52:39,727
When you see Chow, you tell him Samir
says "Hello".
655
00:52:39,819 --> 00:52:40,615
Okay!
656
00:52:40,708 --> 00:52:45,441
But do it like that, ok! "Hello" like
threatening. Like, ironic.
657
00:52:46,726 --> 00:52:47,937
- "Hellooo"
- Okay!
658
00:52:55,840 --> 00:52:57,419
Go away! Go away!
659
00:52:57,888 --> 00:52:58,852
??
660
00:52:59,137 --> 00:53:02,613
Of course I remember him. He was buying
shots for everyone.
661
00:53:02,746 --> 00:53:06,327
Nice kid! His parents must be so proud.
662
00:53:06,441 --> 00:53:07,875
You have no idea.
663
00:53:08,170 --> 00:53:10,636
Ok, so do you remember if he left with us?
664
00:53:10,737 --> 00:53:14,554
Yeah, you were all leaving together, but
you almost forgot this one right here.
665
00:53:14,686 --> 00:53:16,738
Right, super star?
666
00:53:17,935 --> 00:53:22,098
This one was following me around like a
little puppy dog. All night.
667
00:53:22,414 --> 00:53:26,329
Saying he'd fallen in love with me. Asked
me to marry him.
668
00:53:27,780 --> 00:53:29,561
Classic Stu!
669
00:53:30,565 --> 00:53:33,243
- We didn't get married, did we?
- Course not!
670
00:53:33,413 --> 00:53:35,824
We just had some fun in the Chardonnay room.
671
00:53:35,987 --> 00:53:39,574
- What happens in the Chardonnay room?
- Let's just stay on task.
672
00:53:39,674 --> 00:53:44,985
I danced for him. He tickled me. We had sex.
673
00:53:45,116 --> 00:53:47,674
- Fuck!
- It's ok. You're not married yet.
674
00:53:47,789 --> 00:53:49,615
- No big deal.
- It's cheating!
675
00:53:49,711 --> 00:53:52,594
No offense to you. You're a lovely woman.
676
00:53:52,737 --> 00:53:54,818
It's a violation of my moral code.
677
00:53:54,955 --> 00:54:00,396
Don't be sad. Stu you loved it. You were
crying, saying how special it was.
678
00:54:00,522 --> 00:54:04,342
- Wait! I'm sorry. He was crying?
- What a baby. He was crying.
679
00:54:04,455 --> 00:54:08,949
You should have seen him. He was so
sexy. The way he moved around.
680
00:54:09,295 --> 00:54:12,067
I had to ask him to slow down so I didn't
drop my load too quick.
681
00:54:14,753 --> 00:54:19,761
- Load? What load?
- Oh, you know... My sperms.
682
00:54:21,285 --> 00:54:24,675
I think your English is off. You're talking
about my sperm!
683
00:54:25,840 --> 00:54:28,909
- Where would your sperm come from?
- From my balls!
684
00:54:29,073 --> 00:54:31,464
- Hold on! Back up!
- Wait... Are you...
685
00:54:34,086 --> 00:54:35,844
Hey. You're in Bangkok, sweetie.
686
00:54:35,939 --> 00:54:38,369
- There's a reason they don't call it "Bang-cunt".
- Oh!
687
00:54:43,848 --> 00:54:45,500
- Oh god!
- Wow.
688
00:54:49,628 --> 00:54:51,616
I don't get it. Is this a magic show?
689
00:54:52,938 --> 00:54:57,288
Come on, Stu, it was beautiful. We climaxed
at the same time.
690
00:54:58,203 --> 00:54:59,780
How's that work?
691
00:54:59,889 --> 00:55:02,661
Shoot my load into you. Shoot your load
on the floor.
692
00:55:03,345 --> 00:55:07,319
- Ok!
- You ruined me. Ruined bottom.
693
00:55:08,541 --> 00:55:10,720
Oh god!
694
00:55:17,767 --> 00:55:22,847
- Stu! It's not the end of the world.
- Sorry, but I'm so confused.
695
00:55:23,971 --> 00:55:27,052
I made love to a man... with boobies.
696
00:55:27,351 --> 00:55:31,014
Listen. I promise you no ones ever gonna
find out about this.
697
00:55:31,136 --> 00:55:32,806
But we found out about it.
698
00:55:32,916 --> 00:55:35,149
And then we forget. That's what we do!
699
00:55:35,310 --> 00:55:38,639
I do so much fucked up shit. And I just
forget about it.
700
00:55:38,766 --> 00:55:41,963
- Yeah?
- Yeah! Just forget! It goes away!
701
00:55:42,489 --> 00:55:45,656
That might be harder to go away, but in
time it'll happen.
702
00:55:45,804 --> 00:55:50,649
I certainly do. Just gonna forget about it.
703
00:55:50,801 --> 00:55:52,749
- Never happened.
- Great!
704
00:55:53,983 --> 00:55:56,020
Phone! Phone! Who is it? Answer!
705
00:55:56,563 --> 00:55:59,473
Lauren's dad. He just reminded me...
706
00:55:59,589 --> 00:56:01,314
- Answer it!
- I can't.
707
00:56:01,424 --> 00:56:04,165
What! He might know something about Teddy.
C'mon we still have a shot here.
708
00:56:04,296 --> 00:56:07,869
Get your head back into the fucking game, Stu!
709
00:56:12,693 --> 00:56:13,825
Hello?
710
00:56:13,927 --> 00:56:17,230
Who takes an all day fishing trip the
day before a wedding?
711
00:56:17,394 --> 00:56:22,298
- Yeah, I guess that is kinda stupid.
- Put Teddy on the phone.
712
00:56:24,859 --> 00:56:27,592
- Teddy's seasick actually.
- Seasick?
713
00:56:27,707 --> 00:56:33,048
- Teddy's been a Maritime cadet since he was nine.
- That's weird, cause he's puking everywhere.
714
00:56:33,214 --> 00:56:36,034
I'm gonna tell you something that you do
not know.
715
00:56:36,506 --> 00:56:39,789
- I don't like you.
- Yeah,I knew that already.
716
00:56:39,899 --> 00:56:41,672
If my daughter chooses you,
that's her problem.
717
00:56:41,769 --> 00:56:43,422
This is ??.
Hey it's Phil Winnick!
718
00:56:43,521 --> 00:56:46,426
Listen, I apologize. We've been reelin
in some crazy Marlin and I just wanna say...
719
00:56:48,723 --> 00:56:50,016
Phil!
720
00:56:50,131 --> 00:56:51,672
- Jesus!
- Phil!
721
00:56:52,028 --> 00:56:53,522
Fuck me!
722
00:56:53,539 --> 00:56:56,768
- Give us back our monkey!
- What monkey? Get your own monkey!
723
00:56:56,802 --> 00:56:59,548
Come on, you asshole, the fucking monkey!
724
00:56:59,975 --> 00:57:01,374
Come on!
725
00:57:01,483 --> 00:57:03,815
Anytime, Alan. He's pointing a gun at us!
726
00:57:03,942 --> 00:57:04,978
This is our monkey!
727
00:57:05,108 --> 00:57:07,287
No one's getting shot over a fucking monkey!
728
00:57:07,373 --> 00:57:09,105
Hand him over, now!
729
00:57:09,602 --> 00:57:11,974
God, I've never given him no monkeys.
730
00:57:12,452 --> 00:57:15,028
No, no ...
731
00:57:16,913 --> 00:57:20,713
Hey Phil, check it out. He's got a banana
on his helmet. He's the real deal.
732
00:57:20,828 --> 00:57:22,017
What the fuck's happening?
733
00:57:22,129 --> 00:57:25,056
Hold on! How did this happen? Do you
know where our friend is?
734
00:57:25,171 --> 00:57:29,789
- Yeah. Sixteen years old. Asian kid.
- (says something in Russian?)
735
00:57:30,470 --> 00:57:32,388
No, I don't understand what you said! No, I
didn't understand!
736
00:57:32,737 --> 00:57:35,130
What'd he say?
737
00:57:35,224 --> 00:57:37,289
He said fuck you and your questions!
738
00:57:39,913 --> 00:57:43,484
- Oh, my arm!
- Philip, are you okay?
739
00:57:44,009 --> 00:57:46,225
Oh I got shot! Fuck! Fuck this!
740
00:57:47,999 --> 00:57:49,840
It's alright, Phil! It's alright!
741
00:57:49,947 --> 00:57:52,259
We'll figure this out and get the monkey
back, I promise.
742
00:57:52,373 --> 00:57:56,328
Who gives a fuck about the monkey!
743
00:57:56,557 --> 00:58:02,559
- What the fuck is going on?
- Stu, am I gonna be ok? You're a doctor.
744
00:58:02,687 --> 00:58:04,387
I don't know, let me look!
745
00:58:06,642 --> 00:58:07,773
What?
746
00:58:08,947 --> 00:58:10,326
Don't look at it!
747
00:58:10,538 --> 00:58:13,872
Stuart Price! Get your ass back over here!
748
00:58:13,983 --> 00:58:15,650
- You got shot!
- I know!
749
00:58:31,737 --> 00:58:34,960
- Whoa, you all right?
- Yeah, I'm ok.
750
00:58:36,157 --> 00:58:40,093
Actually, bullet just grazed my arm.
Eight stitches.
751
00:58:40,798 --> 00:58:43,697
Only cost six dollars. How is that even
possible?
752
00:58:43,812 --> 00:58:45,819
How's any of this even possible?
753
00:58:49,517 --> 00:58:52,944
If I was a foot to my left, Stu, I'd be dead.
754
00:58:55,274 --> 00:58:56,883
What are we gonna do?
755
00:59:02,463 --> 00:59:04,747
I'm sorry guys. This wasn't part of the plan.
756
00:59:06,853 --> 00:59:11,382
- What plan, Alan?
- I've said too much already.
757
00:59:19,706 --> 00:59:22,149
Alan! What plan?
758
00:59:24,402 --> 00:59:27,731
- It's all Teddy's fault.
- What are you talking about, Alan?
759
00:59:27,864 --> 00:59:30,123
Why is he even here? He's not part of
the wolf pack!
760
00:59:30,238 --> 00:59:34,114
- Alan, what did you do?
- It's not my fault!
761
00:59:34,132 --> 00:59:37,206
Teddy shouldn't have been sharing from his bag.
762
00:59:38,235 --> 00:59:40,661
- What bag?
- The marshmallows.
763
00:59:40,758 --> 00:59:42,525
I had a separate bag just for Teddy.
764
00:59:42,647 --> 00:59:44,301
But it was dark and it was hard to keep
track.
765
00:59:44,428 --> 00:59:47,787
And then, you almost sat on em. I couldn't
tell which was which.
766
00:59:47,902 --> 00:59:50,758
- It was mayhem!
- What did you do to the marshmallows, Alan?
767
00:59:51,359 --> 00:59:53,870
Alan, what did you do?
768
00:59:54,281 --> 00:59:56,002
Isn't it obvious?
769
00:59:56,096 --> 01:00:00,391
I spiked them with muscle relaxers. And
plus my ADHD medication.
770
01:00:00,531 --> 01:00:02,488
- What?
- You drugged us again?!
771
01:00:02,589 --> 01:00:06,540
Not you! I just wanted to knock out Teddy for a
little while so we could finally enjoy the weekend.
772
01:00:06,654 --> 01:00:11,127
Enjoy the weekend? Alan, you told me that
you didn't do anything!
773
01:00:11,277 --> 01:00:13,010
Alan, you swore to god!
774
01:00:13,216 --> 01:00:15,058
I just wanted things to stay the same.
775
01:00:15,208 --> 01:00:19,833
Like at my face! You ruined my life!
776
01:00:20,257 --> 01:00:21,549
You're not my friend!
777
01:00:21,650 --> 01:00:24,309
Don't say that, Phil! You're serious?
Even in America?
778
01:00:24,418 --> 01:00:28,358
- Yes!
- Oh God! Don't say that, Phil!
779
01:00:28,483 --> 01:00:31,468
- Don't start crying, Alan!
- You're the bearded devil!
780
01:00:31,563 --> 01:00:34,562
You liked it! You smiled at me when I
handed you the bag with marshmallows.
781
01:00:34,698 --> 01:00:38,746
Because I like marshmallows, you
fucking psycho!
782
01:00:39,644 --> 01:00:42,285
Hey! Whoa! Hold on!
783
01:00:42,510 --> 01:00:44,033
Enough!
784
01:00:44,280 --> 01:00:47,099
- Why, Alan? Why?
- Stu!
785
01:00:47,413 --> 01:00:49,612
Because we're the three best
friends, remember?
786
01:00:50,041 --> 01:00:51,835
Remember?
787
01:00:51,836 --> 01:00:53,439
Stu, that's enough...
788
01:00:58,422 --> 01:01:01,407
Guys, we can't fall apart now. We gotta
stick together.
789
01:01:06,928 --> 01:01:09,917
- Alan, what's that written on your belly?
- What? Huh?
790
01:01:11,255 --> 01:01:14,471
Lebua Hotel, Saturday six pm.
791
01:01:14,570 --> 01:01:16,374
- You write that?
- No!
792
01:01:18,486 --> 01:01:20,519
Shit, that's in 20 minutes.
793
01:01:21,172 --> 01:01:23,040
What about England, Phil? Will we still
be friends there?
794
01:01:23,158 --> 01:01:28,153
Alan, I already told you. It was in the heat of the
moment. We're still friends. All over the world.
795
01:01:28,324 --> 01:01:31,053
- Even Great Britain?
- Yeah.
796
01:01:33,396 --> 01:01:35,018
What about you, Stu?
797
01:01:36,297 --> 01:01:37,703
We'll see.
798
01:01:39,456 --> 01:01:41,197
Gentlemen, follow me.
799
01:01:56,210 --> 01:01:57,489
Here you go.
800
01:02:02,097 --> 01:02:04,131
Well. About time! Sit down.
801
01:02:04,789 --> 01:02:06,734
Come on, sit.
802
01:02:07,702 --> 01:02:09,474
Wow, you guys look like shit.
803
01:02:12,469 --> 01:02:13,859
- Uh, do we know you?
- Hey!
804
01:02:13,990 --> 01:02:17,321
Take off your fuckin hat. You're in a
restaurant for christs sake. C'mon.
805
01:02:22,993 --> 01:02:25,962
Ok, listen. We have no clue what's
going on here.
806
01:02:26,072 --> 01:02:29,939
You know, they sell a Plum whiskey here,
it's fuckin unreal.
807
01:02:30,289 --> 01:02:37,756
Seriously, it will absolutely fuck you up! Oh, I'm
sorry. You guys already got fucked up, didn't you.
808
01:02:39,417 --> 01:02:44,840
- Uh, listen, I'm a little confused. How did you...
- You know what? I am a little fuckin confused!
809
01:02:44,959 --> 01:02:51,854
Where's Chow? With the fuckin account
code and the fuckin password!
810
01:02:57,358 --> 01:03:03,132
We don't know anything about any codes. We're
just trying to find our friend.
811
01:03:05,636 --> 01:03:10,164
- Teddy?
- Yes! Teddy! Have you seen?
812
01:03:14,174 --> 01:03:15,489
Hmm, let's see...
813
01:03:17,109 --> 01:03:18,452
There's Teddy!
814
01:03:19,613 --> 01:03:22,760
Holy shit! It's from last night.
815
01:03:24,411 --> 01:03:27,525
- Who are you?
- I'm a businessman.
816
01:03:27,740 --> 01:03:31,984
And I've invested a large chunk of capital
in your friend Chow.
817
01:03:32,259 --> 01:03:36,096
And in return, he was supposed to transfer
my profits electronically.
818
01:03:36,210 --> 01:03:39,494
About five fuckin minutes ago.
819
01:03:40,409 --> 01:03:44,192
So last night, we took Teddy as insurance.
820
01:03:44,979 --> 01:03:50,401
- Oh my god! Is he okay?
- Oh my god, I wasn't done talking.
821
01:03:51,378 --> 01:03:54,701
You tell Chow, that we are having breakfast
on the roof of this hotel...
822
01:03:54,794 --> 01:03:58,383
...tomorrow morning at eight am.
823
01:03:58,482 --> 01:04:00,540
Or if he makes the transfer, you will
get Teddy.
824
01:04:00,662 --> 01:04:04,251
If not well then hey, you know...
it's Bangkok.
825
01:04:07,020 --> 01:04:09,149
That's your cue to get the fuck out of here.
826
01:04:15,899 --> 01:04:17,689
Hey, you know what? Leave the hat.
827
01:04:19,560 --> 01:04:20,867
Alan leave the hat.
828
01:04:23,143 --> 01:04:24,671
Atta boy.
829
01:04:33,965 --> 01:04:37,609
We're fucked! Chow's dead. What do we do now?
830
01:04:37,704 --> 01:04:41,228
The guy doesn't give a shit about Chow, Stu.
This whole things about a fucking bank account.
831
01:04:43,653 --> 01:04:46,322
Let's just go back to the hotel. We'll
search Chow's body.
832
01:04:46,421 --> 01:04:49,076
Hopefully the password's in his
wallet or something.
833
01:04:49,736 --> 01:04:52,129
- And what if it isn't?
- He's gonna kill Teddy.
834
01:04:52,241 --> 01:04:56,045
Just relax. We have until 8am tomorrow
to figure it out.
835
01:04:59,424 --> 01:05:04,435
First the monkey and now my hat. How
much worse can this day get.
836
01:05:08,531 --> 01:05:10,382
Jesus christ!
837
01:05:17,840 --> 01:05:28,259
Well we're livin here in Alan town. And
he's drivin our lives into the ground.
838
01:05:29,121 --> 01:05:33,393
When we woke up we were wasted and drunk.
839
01:05:33,491 --> 01:05:39,249
Phil got shot. We got beaten by a monk.
840
01:05:41,524 --> 01:05:46,310
I was happy, and my life was good.
841
01:05:46,864 --> 01:05:51,437
Getting married like a dentist should.
842
01:05:51,538 --> 01:05:55,180
Roasting marshmallows on a stick.
843
01:05:55,325 --> 01:06:01,717
I got fucked in the ass... by a girl
with a dick.
844
01:06:02,916 --> 01:06:04,632
Oh yeah, remember that.
845
01:06:07,275 --> 01:06:11,531
And we're livin in Alan town.
846
01:06:14,091 --> 01:06:15,549
There's water everywhere.
847
01:06:16,369 --> 01:06:19,314
Yeah it's cause it melted, Stu. The
fuckin powers out.
848
01:06:19,398 --> 01:06:22,248
With an inadequate electrical grid,
serving millions of people
849
01:06:22,361 --> 01:06:25,659
Bangkok experiences 1500 power
outages per year.
850
01:06:25,771 --> 01:06:27,771
Seriously, Alan. That's enough!
851
01:06:27,935 --> 01:06:29,330
Out of the way!
852
01:06:35,917 --> 01:06:37,194
We got it.
853
01:06:41,966 --> 01:06:44,649
Oh my god!
854
01:06:46,141 --> 01:06:49,013
Chow, calm down!
855
01:06:49,108 --> 01:06:50,903
- You put the chill on me?
- No, no!
856
01:06:54,757 --> 01:06:56,316
It's okay.
857
01:06:56,886 --> 01:06:58,675
Relax!
858
01:07:07,163 --> 01:07:11,411
It's just us. Breathe!
859
01:07:11,557 --> 01:07:12,759
It was so cold.
860
01:07:12,859 --> 01:07:15,216
- We're gonna warm you up.
- I was so cold!
861
01:07:16,291 --> 01:07:20,177
- You did good, buddy. You did good.
- I did good.
862
01:07:25,748 --> 01:07:26,947
Feelin better?
863
01:07:28,228 --> 01:07:30,969
- Alright, you warm enough?
- I don't know.
864
01:07:31,074 --> 01:07:32,993
Come feel my bowels and tell me.
865
01:07:33,090 --> 01:07:36,015
I've been locked in a fuckin ice box
all day!
866
01:07:36,499 --> 01:07:39,172
Hey Alan, if you want my sunglasses...
867
01:07:39,268 --> 01:07:42,368
...just ask Chow. You don't have to kill me.
868
01:07:42,465 --> 01:07:46,547
Chow, nobody killed you. You were already
dead. You didn't have a pulse.
869
01:07:46,661 --> 01:07:48,583
Oh, you never do blow before?
870
01:07:48,695 --> 01:07:50,926
Sometimes your heart stop... start
up again.
871
01:07:51,368 --> 01:07:54,562
- Read a book!
- Look I'm sorry. We're having a bad day.
872
01:07:54,674 --> 01:07:58,346
Oh, you're having a bad day! Did you die?
873
01:07:59,054 --> 01:08:01,838
- I got shot!
- But did you die?
874
01:08:02,040 --> 01:08:05,502
Chow, some guy told us that you got
a bank code or something...
875
01:08:05,590 --> 01:08:07,740
...and if we don't bring it to him first
think in the morning...
876
01:08:09,074 --> 01:08:10,574
...he's gonna kill Teddy.
877
01:08:10,575 --> 01:08:17,065
Who, Kingsley? He harmless. Don't worry.
I got the bank codes.
878
01:08:17,911 --> 01:08:23,025
Great! Alright, we gotta meet him at 8am.
Who is that fuckin guy, anyway?
879
01:08:23,121 --> 01:08:26,644
- An investor in my business.
- Yeah, what business is that?
880
01:08:26,739 --> 01:08:29,314
It's called "not your business" ok!
881
01:08:30,053 --> 01:08:33,427
- Oh, where's the monkey?
- The monkey...
882
01:08:33,578 --> 01:08:37,590
Yeah I put the account number and
password in his vest. Where is he?
883
01:08:40,465 --> 01:08:44,006
- Why would you do that?
- Safe keeping, pretty boy.
884
01:08:44,104 --> 01:08:51,577
I got a lotta heat on my ass. I got
FBI, Bangkok PD, Interpol, MSNBC...
885
01:08:52,141 --> 01:08:54,124
That little monkey snorting coke with me
all night...
886
01:08:54,233 --> 01:08:57,251
Jerkin me off while I watched Stu make
fuckin lady boy.
887
01:08:57,579 --> 01:09:01,346
- He not going anywhere.
- We don't have the monkey, Chow.
888
01:09:01,445 --> 01:09:04,344
Oh, some Russian thugs took him from us.
889
01:09:04,441 --> 01:09:06,511
Oh you fucking guys!
890
01:09:07,410 --> 01:09:11,201
Okay. No problem. We just have to get
him back.
891
01:09:11,345 --> 01:09:14,673
- From where?
- From the same place we took him from.
892
01:09:36,448 --> 01:09:38,648
This monkey isn't just normal monkey.
893
01:09:51,871 --> 01:09:54,479
Every night, monkey drug mule.
894
01:09:56,087 --> 01:09:58,351
He take coke to buyer...
895
01:10:01,573 --> 01:10:05,363
And deliver cash to dealer. He
middle man.
896
01:10:06,084 --> 01:10:08,308
Dealer never handle drug directly.
897
01:10:09,039 --> 01:10:10,604
He clean.
898
01:10:12,408 --> 01:10:16,832
- That's terrible.
- Not terrible. What he talking about. Fucking genius.
899
01:10:17,210 --> 01:10:19,129
You ever see monkey go to jail?
900
01:10:21,010 --> 01:10:25,489
We just take the monkey for deal, he come
close, we take his vest. That's that.
901
01:10:26,113 --> 01:10:30,587
- We get some blow too, you know... bump.
- No, no more bumps, Chow.
902
01:10:32,824 --> 01:10:34,610
This is ridiculous.
903
01:10:37,074 --> 01:10:39,908
Stu, Mr. Chow can't whistle. Shake your
monkey.
904
01:10:52,073 --> 01:10:53,237
Alright, here we go.
905
01:10:53,323 --> 01:10:54,730
Come on!
906
01:10:59,939 --> 01:11:02,169
How did we wind up with the monkey
last night anyway?
907
01:11:02,265 --> 01:11:04,514
I needed some blow and Alan thought
he was cute...
908
01:11:04,642 --> 01:11:05,936
...so we stole him!
909
01:11:18,343 --> 01:11:19,799
So stupid!
910
01:11:19,800 --> 01:11:21,375
Stu, ready to grab vest?
911
01:11:21,507 --> 01:11:26,193
- Okay. I just grab it?
- Yeah, just do it. Just do it.
912
01:11:26,323 --> 01:11:29,143
- Hey, little monkey.
- Alan, be quiet.
913
01:11:32,534 --> 01:11:35,326
- Fuck!
- We gotta go, right now!
914
01:11:36,272 --> 01:11:39,768
- Pull that fuckin monkey in!
- I'm trying!
915
01:11:44,273 --> 01:11:45,384
Shit!
916
01:11:49,044 --> 01:11:52,319
- Get that monkey in here, Stu!
- He won't let go!
917
01:11:53,333 --> 01:11:55,516
Stu, get back in the car! Right now!
918
01:11:56,103 --> 01:11:58,171
I'm trying! Slow down!
919
01:12:04,641 --> 01:12:06,498
He's so strong!
920
01:12:09,806 --> 01:12:11,819
Let go you fuckin monkey!
921
01:12:12,902 --> 01:12:16,867
- Look out!
- Oh shit! Tight squeeze!
922
01:12:18,903 --> 01:12:20,218
I got him!
923
01:12:23,685 --> 01:12:27,079
- Where's the code, Chow?
- Check his little vest.
924
01:12:30,636 --> 01:12:32,912
- Got it, Alan?
- Yes, I got a .
925
01:12:33,012 --> 01:12:36,422
- Slow down Chow!
- Hold on, J-Birds.
926
01:12:40,093 --> 01:12:41,647
Holy Shit!
927
01:12:43,153 --> 01:12:45,152
Don't worry. I got this shit!
928
01:12:47,419 --> 01:12:49,008
Pig!
929
01:12:53,281 --> 01:12:54,642
Oh, my word.
930
01:12:54,840 --> 01:12:56,248
Sorry, Stu! My bad!
931
01:13:02,235 --> 01:13:03,378
Oh, shit!
932
01:13:04,625 --> 01:13:05,775
Get down!
933
01:13:06,172 --> 01:13:07,639
What the fuck!
934
01:13:08,703 --> 01:13:11,454
Oh no! He shot the monkey!
935
01:13:11,699 --> 01:13:14,335
They shot the monkey.
936
01:13:14,477 --> 01:13:16,288
I'm at my wits end.
937
01:13:19,309 --> 01:13:21,012
He's coming back around.
938
01:13:21,696 --> 01:13:22,914
Look out!
939
01:13:26,849 --> 01:13:29,669
- Holy fuck!
- Oh no...
940
01:13:49,228 --> 01:13:51,248
- Everyone alright?
- Yeah.
941
01:13:52,421 --> 01:13:55,095
I have such an erection right now!
942
01:13:59,540 --> 01:14:00,915
Are you for real?
943
01:14:15,808 --> 01:14:18,152
They're gonna take good care of you
here, ok.
944
01:14:20,725 --> 01:14:22,087
What's that?
945
01:14:24,655 --> 01:14:29,488
Oh, yeah. Cigarettes. Got em right here.
Here you go.
946
01:14:33,842 --> 01:14:35,249
Right here.
947
01:14:38,238 --> 01:14:41,368
Deep breathe. Good.
948
01:14:42,739 --> 01:14:45,119
Soak it in.
949
01:14:45,377 --> 01:14:48,693
Breathe the smoke into your tiny
little lungs. There you go.
950
01:14:49,936 --> 01:14:52,508
It's funny. I've never been much of a
smoker, but...
951
01:14:53,953 --> 01:14:56,031
Boy does it look cool on you.
952
01:14:56,363 --> 01:14:59,032
Alan, c'mon! Let's go!
953
01:15:02,211 --> 01:15:04,111
I'll miss you, monkey.
954
01:15:07,049 --> 01:15:09,291
I wish monkeys could Skype.
955
01:15:11,059 --> 01:15:12,751
Maybe one day...
956
01:15:20,436 --> 01:15:23,013
Come on! Get in!
957
01:15:59,560 --> 01:16:01,495
Are you guys seriously this calm?
958
01:16:01,622 --> 01:16:04,244
Relax, Stuart. It's classic switcheroo.
959
01:16:04,343 --> 01:16:06,265
I give him money, he gives us Teddy.
960
01:16:06,543 --> 01:16:09,111
You ever do anything that doesn't end
up in a standoff, Chow?
961
01:16:09,209 --> 01:16:12,538
I'm an international criminal. It always
ends like this.
962
01:16:12,651 --> 01:16:14,425
I met my wife at one of these things.
963
01:16:15,396 --> 01:16:19,656
- You got a wife?
- Yeah, we married 15 years.
964
01:16:19,751 --> 01:16:22,390
What, I not good looking enough for woman?
965
01:16:23,520 --> 01:16:25,245
No, that's cool.
966
01:16:26,978 --> 01:16:28,016
Let's do this!
967
01:16:28,141 --> 01:16:30,944
- Welcome to the Tower Club.
- Blah blah blah, who cares.
968
01:16:32,552 --> 01:16:34,944
Stop! Chow crossing.
969
01:16:38,488 --> 01:16:41,793
- Hey, Kingsley!
- Well, well.
970
01:16:41,924 --> 01:16:43,765
Propecia looking nice!
971
01:16:43,957 --> 01:16:45,923
You been hitting the gym?
972
01:16:46,125 --> 01:16:49,334
Yes I am actually. Thank you for
noticing, Chow.
973
01:16:49,643 --> 01:16:51,450
Hey, guys. Have a seat.
974
01:16:52,419 --> 01:16:55,727
- Where's Teddy?
- He's waiting downstairs in my car.
975
01:16:55,993 --> 01:16:58,166
Send him up when the transfer is complete.
976
01:16:58,265 --> 01:17:01,167
Tell you what. Give me extra 50 grand, you
keep Teddy.
977
01:17:01,262 --> 01:17:04,006
And I throw in this other fat fuck for free.
978
01:17:06,198 --> 01:17:09,118
- Chow.. Chow...
- Could we move this along!
979
01:17:09,268 --> 01:17:13,801
Alan, account number. Come on, come on.
980
01:17:13,949 --> 01:17:24,049
8-1-4, K as in knife, 2-3-9-8.
981
01:17:25,260 --> 01:17:28,109
- Password?
- "baloney1"
982
01:17:28,782 --> 01:17:30,208
Your password is "baloney1" ?
983
01:17:30,341 --> 01:17:33,255
Well it used to be just "baloney" but
now they make you add number.
984
01:17:33,506 --> 01:17:35,454
Fuckin annoying.
985
01:17:46,849 --> 01:17:48,356
- And it's that easy.
- Ta dah!
986
01:17:49,814 --> 01:17:51,830
Oh look. You sunk my battleship.
987
01:17:53,521 --> 01:18:00,668
- Great, now can we please have Teddy?
- Yeah. Bring him up.
988
01:18:01,612 --> 01:18:05,005
See. We go to your wedding. We have fun. I
bust a nut.
989
01:18:05,120 --> 01:18:07,204
We did it, Stu. It's over!
990
01:18:16,872 --> 01:18:19,525
This is Bangkok police! Everybody down!
991
01:18:22,655 --> 01:18:23,919
Oh, nuts!
992
01:18:24,055 --> 01:18:26,280
Kingsley, you're fucking Five-O?
993
01:18:26,393 --> 01:18:27,770
Gotcha, Leslie!
994
01:18:28,048 --> 01:18:29,113
Get him outta here.
995
01:18:29,232 --> 01:18:30,689
Go! Just do it! Go!
996
01:18:35,814 --> 01:18:37,368
How the fuck...
997
01:18:37,979 --> 01:18:42,809
Samir, you fucked me over six grand?
You camel jockey!
998
01:18:44,895 --> 01:18:47,451
You spit on me?
999
01:18:48,250 --> 01:18:52,807
Six grand this time, eight grand last time.
It's not the money, man, it's the principle!
1000
01:18:52,905 --> 01:18:55,877
Principle? Nigga, please! We both dead inside.
1001
01:18:55,969 --> 01:18:58,378
Call me nigga... don't call me "nigga"!
1002
01:18:58,465 --> 01:19:01,364
- Put em in, motherfucker!
- He's an asshole, man.
1003
01:19:02,751 --> 01:19:04,208
You guys ok?
1004
01:19:04,326 --> 01:19:07,601
- What the fucks going on?
- Detective Inspector Peters, Interpol.
1005
01:19:07,699 --> 01:19:09,031
- You're a cop?
- Yes.
1006
01:19:09,145 --> 01:19:11,015
This sting operation has been in place
for weeks.
1007
01:19:11,873 --> 01:19:14,432
When Samir told us that your friend
was lost...
1008
01:19:14,631 --> 01:19:19,301
We took advantage of that information.
I'm sorry.
1009
01:19:20,797 --> 01:19:24,730
- So can Teddy come out of the car now?
- No, Alan, Teddy's not in the fuckin car!
1010
01:19:24,828 --> 01:19:26,754
They don't have him. They never had him.
1011
01:19:27,326 --> 01:19:31,465
They just needed us to bring them Chow.
They used Teddy as bait.
1012
01:19:32,983 --> 01:19:35,984
- Do you have any leads at all?
- No. We've checked everywhere.
1013
01:19:36,148 --> 01:19:38,122
No one has seen him. I'm sorry.
1014
01:19:39,197 --> 01:19:44,178
If you haven't found him by now, I'm afraid
Bangkok has him.
1015
01:19:48,902 --> 01:19:51,180
Why do people keep saying that?
1016
01:19:53,887 --> 01:19:57,514
Stu... It's time.
1017
01:20:02,984 --> 01:20:04,278
Alan...
1018
01:20:05,326 --> 01:20:09,801
-I'm sorry.
- Don't say that. Please.
1019
01:20:09,916 --> 01:20:14,219
- No this time we really fucked up.
- Oh god! How bad?
1020
01:20:14,423 --> 01:20:16,439
Like, no wedding bad?
1021
01:20:18,452 --> 01:20:20,123
Yeah... a little worse than that!
1022
01:20:46,971 --> 01:20:50,843
Ok, how about this? He fell off
the fishing boat and drowned.
1023
01:20:52,363 --> 01:20:53,719
No.
1024
01:20:55,072 --> 01:20:58,314
Ok, I got it. Teddy was hit by a truck.
1025
01:20:59,164 --> 01:21:02,295
- Alan!
- Not a good time, Phil. Kinda busy!
1026
01:21:02,409 --> 01:21:04,268
How many people get run over here?
1027
01:21:04,378 --> 01:21:07,749
- Over 1200 a year, Phil.
- Perfect!
1028
01:21:08,143 --> 01:21:11,196
His body was too mangled to recover.
Case closed.
1029
01:21:12,920 --> 01:21:14,555
Can I get more ice, please?
1030
01:21:15,788 --> 01:21:17,357
I'm not gonna lie to Lauren.
1031
01:21:17,490 --> 01:21:25,160
- Stu, do you want this or not?
- Look at what I've done, Phil. What I do.
1032
01:21:28,338 --> 01:21:33,107
I have a weakness for prostitutes. All
kinds, apparently.
1033
01:21:37,507 --> 01:21:42,287
- I have a demon in me!
- So what?
1034
01:21:43,781 --> 01:21:46,891
Teddy's gone, but I can still save Lauren.
1035
01:21:47,006 --> 01:21:48,976
Just let her live her life without me.
1036
01:21:49,009 --> 01:21:50,318
Stu!
1037
01:21:50,427 --> 01:21:53,761
I want you to call Doug and tell him I'm
never coming back.
1038
01:21:54,304 --> 01:21:56,248
Gettin off the hamster wheel.
1039
01:21:57,841 --> 01:22:01,508
Gonna stay here in Bangkok.
I think I belong here.
1040
01:22:02,508 --> 01:22:04,687
Open up a little dentists office.
1041
01:22:06,048 --> 01:22:08,209
Deep cleanings, with a happy ending.
1042
01:22:12,455 --> 01:22:13,854
You sure about this?
1043
01:22:21,559 --> 01:22:23,996
Hey, what the crud!
1044
01:22:25,568 --> 01:22:27,013
Powers out, Alan.
1045
01:22:31,418 --> 01:22:32,565
- Phil!
- Doug.
1046
01:22:32,749 --> 01:22:35,155
- I need answers, man.
- I know...
1047
01:22:36,120 --> 01:22:37,107
Doug, who are you talking to?
1048
01:22:37,203 --> 01:22:38,136
- What?
- Give me the phone!
1049
01:22:38,252 --> 01:22:39,416
Lauren, no! That's a private...
1050
01:22:39,504 --> 01:22:40,649
Who is this?
1051
01:22:40,744 --> 01:22:44,237
- Lauren?
- Phil? Tell me what's going on, right now!
1052
01:22:44,843 --> 01:22:46,419
We lost your little brother.
1053
01:22:46,865 --> 01:22:49,714
- What?
- Bangkok has him now.
1054
01:22:57,604 --> 01:22:58,990
You gotta take the stairs.
1055
01:22:59,551 --> 01:23:01,155
You're in Bangkok?
1056
01:23:05,860 --> 01:23:07,318
Ooh, that's a finger!
1057
01:23:08,563 --> 01:23:09,895
Put Stu on the phone!
1058
01:23:10,748 --> 01:23:14,315
Bangkok experiences 1500 power outages
per year.
1059
01:23:14,534 --> 01:23:16,730
Stu really doesn't want to talk to anybody.
1060
01:23:17,462 --> 01:23:18,874
- Water everywhere. Powers out.
1061
01:23:18,990 --> 01:23:21,384
Come on, Stu, use that big Jewish brain
1062
01:23:24,167 --> 01:23:26,992
Phil! Give me the phone!
1063
01:23:27,120 --> 01:23:29,001
- It's Lauren! I got it! I'm handling it!
- I know.!
1064
01:23:29,116 --> 01:23:30,902
- Give me the fuckin...
- I can handle it, Stu!
1065
01:23:31,000 --> 01:23:32,561
She's gonna break your heart!
1066
01:23:32,656 --> 01:23:35,117
Honey, sweetheart, it's me! I'm so sorry!
1067
01:23:35,232 --> 01:23:39,048
Stu? What the hell is going on? What does he
mean you lost Teddy?
1068
01:23:39,167 --> 01:23:44,081
What? Is that what Phil said?
No no no. We misplaced, Teddy.
1069
01:23:44,193 --> 01:23:46,900
But we're all good now. We heading back to the
hotel. We're gonna see you soon!
1070
01:23:48,330 --> 01:23:53,380
I love you so much! And I gotta go, but
I'll see you soon. Bye.
1071
01:23:56,581 --> 01:23:57,647
Stu!
1072
01:24:01,140 --> 01:24:02,832
- Stu!
- God!
1073
01:24:04,136 --> 01:24:06,642
Taxi!
1074
01:24:06,889 --> 01:24:09,154
Come on, Alan!
1075
01:24:11,730 --> 01:24:13,334
Hey, you mind filling us in!
1076
01:24:13,560 --> 01:24:16,018
Ok, now when we woke up, the power was out.
1077
01:24:16,137 --> 01:24:18,431
And you found Teddy's finger in what?
1078
01:24:18,678 --> 01:24:21,724
- In a pool of water.
- But it didn't start out as water.
1079
01:24:21,904 --> 01:24:23,546
No, it was ice.
1080
01:24:23,638 --> 01:24:25,265
Exactly! Teddy got ice from the machine...
1081
01:24:25,394 --> 01:24:28,041
...came back to the room. Put his finger
on ice and fell asleep.
1082
01:24:28,042 --> 01:24:29,027
Now what do you do if you wake up...
1083
01:24:29,107 --> 01:24:31,798
...and you find your finger floating in
a bowl of melted ice?
1084
01:24:31,960 --> 01:24:35,415
I'd get more ice, Stu... on the 15th
fuckin floor!
1085
01:24:35,547 --> 01:24:38,678
Yes! Teddy goes up, the power goes out...
1086
01:24:38,775 --> 01:24:44,126
- Holy shit! Of course!
- He's at the ice machine.
1087
01:24:44,627 --> 01:24:46,364
Alan, no!
1088
01:24:49,714 --> 01:24:50,936
It's on ten!
1089
01:24:51,383 --> 01:24:53,825
- Sir, is the elevator stuck?
- ??.
1090
01:24:54,280 --> 01:24:55,301
- C'mon!
- Go, go, go!
1091
01:24:59,869 --> 01:25:02,000
Hey, Teddy!
1092
01:25:02,363 --> 01:25:04,463
Look out, look out!
1093
01:25:13,207 --> 01:25:15,002
- Teddy!
- You're ok!
1094
01:25:16,694 --> 01:25:19,057
Teddy, you okay? You ok, man?
1095
01:25:19,771 --> 01:25:22,853
- Where am I?
- You're in an elevator, in the middle of Bangkok.
1096
01:25:23,132 --> 01:25:25,261
But we're gonna get you outta here. It's
gonna be fine.
1097
01:25:25,507 --> 01:25:28,823
Hey Stu, nice tattoo.
1098
01:25:31,129 --> 01:25:32,293
Thanks, man.
1099
01:25:32,428 --> 01:25:33,901
Alright, let's do this! C'mon, c'mon!
1100
01:25:34,747 --> 01:25:41,473
Tell him we found him.
Yeah, I know. But we're on our way. Ok, bye!
1101
01:25:41,795 --> 01:25:47,088
Alright, guests are arriving, people starting
to ask questions, but we can still pull this off!
1102
01:25:47,221 --> 01:25:49,992
- How?
- I don't know, with a taxi?
1103
01:25:50,086 --> 01:25:51,554
- Chow's speed boat.
- What?
1104
01:25:51,696 --> 01:25:53,974
Last think I remember, was getting off
Chow's speed boat.
1105
01:25:54,105 --> 01:25:57,598
- Chow has a speed boat?
- "The Perfect Life".
1106
01:25:58,807 --> 01:26:00,039
C'mon!
1107
01:26:04,120 --> 01:26:05,494
Stu, get that back line.
1108
01:26:07,834 --> 01:26:09,012
Good jump, Phil!
1109
01:26:11,719 --> 01:26:12,878
- You alright?
- Yeah.
1110
01:26:14,096 --> 01:26:17,077
- You sure you know how to drive this thing?
1111
01:26:17,093 --> 01:26:18,844
Please, I was raised in a yacht club. I
know what I'm doing.
1112
01:26:43,142 --> 01:26:44,439
You know where we're going?
1113
01:26:45,637 --> 01:26:47,391
Leave it to the Captain!
1114
01:26:47,636 --> 01:26:49,435
Oh fuck you, Alan!
1115
01:26:51,146 --> 01:26:54,058
Do you know where we're going, Captain?
1116
01:26:55,036 --> 01:26:57,229
Affirmative cadet!
We're going south.
1117
01:26:57,789 --> 01:27:01,115
- We're in the Gulf of Thailand.
- Good.
1118
01:27:23,286 --> 01:27:25,534
Hey! You okay?
1119
01:27:26,981 --> 01:27:29,417
- Feeling a little better.
- Alright!
1120
01:27:30,882 --> 01:27:35,437
Listen Teddy. I'm really sorry! We didn't
mean for any of this to happen.
1121
01:27:36,263 --> 01:27:45,570
It's funny. I can't remember anything
But... when I woke up, I was kinda happy.
1122
01:27:46,552 --> 01:27:47,845
Yeah!
1123
01:27:49,548 --> 01:27:53,241
By the way... Do you have any idea
where my finger is?
1124
01:27:53,335 --> 01:27:55,733
Yeah, we gave it to a drug dealing
monkey.
1125
01:27:59,467 --> 01:28:00,906
Bangkok...
1126
01:28:01,418 --> 01:28:05,193
Yeah, right... fuckin Bangkok!
1127
01:28:19,344 --> 01:28:21,429
I apologize. There will be no wedding!
1128
01:28:21,542 --> 01:28:23,558
He is on his way. He will be here...
1129
01:28:23,689 --> 01:28:28,049
Please, if you will all move to the bar.
We are going to clear this area.
1130
01:28:28,334 --> 01:28:29,918
Please!
1131
01:28:32,841 --> 01:28:35,279
I'm telling you, I spoke to him. He's coming.
1132
01:28:39,405 --> 01:28:41,653
Look! There they are!
1133
01:28:45,682 --> 01:28:47,004
Stu!
1134
01:28:53,341 --> 01:28:56,075
- Alan, there's no dock.
- Just hang on!
1135
01:28:56,224 --> 01:28:58,942
- Alan, it's not funny! Turn the boat!
- Hang on!
1136
01:28:59,040 --> 01:29:01,284
- Is that Alan driving the boat?
- What?
1137
01:29:01,974 --> 01:29:04,614
Uh, we should probably move back a little bit.
1138
01:29:05,969 --> 01:29:08,101
Oh my god!
1139
01:29:08,213 --> 01:29:10,328
Turn the boat!
1140
01:29:10,445 --> 01:29:11,905
Everyone back up a little bit here.
1141
01:29:12,017 --> 01:29:13,965
Sir, it's gonna get worse before it gets better.
1142
01:29:31,389 --> 01:29:33,992
Hi! Hi everybody!
1143
01:29:36,139 --> 01:29:40,715
Came in a little hotter than we planned.
I'm sorry we trenched the lawn here.
1144
01:29:41,595 --> 01:29:43,890
Totally fixable. A little bit of sod, it'll
be fine.
1145
01:29:44,006 --> 01:29:45,831
- Baby!
- Oh my god!
1146
01:29:46,019 --> 01:29:47,922
I'm so happy to see you!
1147
01:29:49,480 --> 01:29:53,838
- Teddy! Teddy here.
- Hi, Dad!
1148
01:29:54,776 --> 01:29:56,814
- You alright?
- Yeah, ok.
1149
01:29:58,558 --> 01:30:01,263
- Your hand!
- I know.
1150
01:30:01,401 --> 01:30:03,541
We had an accident. I'm ok.
1151
01:30:05,742 --> 01:30:06,870
This is your fault!
1152
01:30:07,020 --> 01:30:11,917
- Dad.
- He's right. I have not been completely honest.
1153
01:30:12,049 --> 01:30:13,537
- Stu? Don't do this.
-Yeah?
1154
01:30:13,656 --> 01:30:15,357
Thanks, Phil, but gonna do it.
1155
01:30:16,559 --> 01:30:20,997
You said I'm a joke.Well I'm not.
1156
01:30:21,589 --> 01:30:29,175
I'm not some weird, milky, ricy, watery
that you feed to infants and old people, ok!
1157
01:30:29,309 --> 01:30:33,272
Maybe I would be if you added some
cayenne pepper!
1158
01:30:35,978 --> 01:30:37,728
I wish I was a boring dentist...
1159
01:30:37,827 --> 01:30:39,981
...who had a boring life and boring friends...
1160
01:30:40,089 --> 01:30:41,908
... but I don't and I'm not.
1161
01:30:42,662 --> 01:30:44,994
I'm actually part of this weird wolf pack.
1162
01:30:45,173 --> 01:30:48,665
It's not weird. It's pretty cool
actually. No membership fees.
1163
01:30:48,776 --> 01:30:51,298
I've had enough of this. Come here.
1164
01:30:51,526 --> 01:30:55,644
Whoa! Here's the deal man.
1165
01:30:55,923 --> 01:30:59,763
- I got a dark side!
1166
01:30:59,860 --> 01:31:01,860
There's a demon in me!
1167
01:31:02,785 --> 01:31:04,785
It's true, he has semen in him.
1168
01:31:05,533 --> 01:31:06,779
I said demon.
1169
01:31:07,332 --> 01:31:11,775
- But you also have semen in you, remember?
- Not relevant, but thank you, Alan.
1170
01:31:14,089 --> 01:31:19,803
The point is, this demon takes me to
some pretty weird places.
1171
01:31:19,986 --> 01:31:22,982
We lost Teddy for two days in Bangkok.
1172
01:31:23,868 --> 01:31:27,886
But that same demon took us to
hell and back to find him.
1173
01:31:27,984 --> 01:31:30,507
We took on Bangkok and we won.
1174
01:31:30,655 --> 01:31:33,344
Now that's pretty fuckin cool if you ask me!
1175
01:31:38,442 --> 01:31:42,651
I love your daughter, and I'm
gonna marry her.
1176
01:31:42,751 --> 01:31:45,126
- Unless you have any problem with that?
- I'm good.
1177
01:31:46,931 --> 01:31:51,864
But all that said, it would actually mean
a great deal to both of us...
1178
01:31:52,125 --> 01:31:55,321
...if we could just get your mother fucking
blessing!
1179
01:32:12,461 --> 01:32:13,791
Hey, Alan...
1180
01:32:15,134 --> 01:32:19,001
- That looks pretty cool shaved.
- Thanks, Phil.
1181
01:32:19,723 --> 01:32:21,312
You should shave your head too.
1182
01:32:21,740 --> 01:32:25,150
- Why would I do that?
- Well than we would look exactly alike.
1183
01:32:37,102 --> 01:32:40,262
- Take good care of my daughter, Stu.
- I will.
1184
01:32:49,006 --> 01:32:51,444
I'm sorry we almost killed everyone with
the boat.
1185
01:32:51,577 --> 01:32:53,150
Just happy you're here.
1186
01:32:56,313 --> 01:33:00,015
And don't worry about the tattoo. I'm gonna
have it lasered as soon as we're home in LA.
1187
01:33:00,191 --> 01:33:04,310
- That's ok. I can get used to it.
- Really?
1188
01:33:07,521 --> 01:33:09,373
But for now, let's switch sides?
1189
01:33:09,866 --> 01:33:12,048
- Yeah, ok.
- Thank you.
1190
01:33:13,502 --> 01:33:14,814
Much better.
1191
01:33:16,259 --> 01:33:20,170
Dear family and friends. On behalf of Stu and Lauren...
1192
01:33:20,302 --> 01:33:24,581
...I welcome all of you, to this
marriage celebration.
1193
01:33:24,997 --> 01:33:27,174
We are here today to...
1194
01:34:23,760 --> 01:34:26,218
Hey buddy. Can you hold on for a second.
1195
01:34:26,597 --> 01:34:27,996
Thank you.
1196
01:34:35,693 --> 01:34:38,287
Hello? Hi everyone!
1197
01:34:39,739 --> 01:34:42,350
My name's Alan Garner.
1198
01:34:42,459 --> 01:34:48,966
I want to thank the Asiatic people for
allowing us in your land.
1199
01:34:50,309 --> 01:34:54,620
I wanted to say that, um, I'm really
happy to be here...
1200
01:34:54,755 --> 01:34:58,932
...and I have a wedding gift to present
to Lauren and Stu.
1201
01:34:59,960 --> 01:35:02,806
And um, a lot of thought has gone into this...
1202
01:35:02,941 --> 01:35:07,646
...and I hope that you appreciate it as
much as I did, or going to.
1203
01:35:07,839 --> 01:35:09,302
Okay, guys!
1204
01:35:27,214 --> 01:35:28,714
Oh, fuck!
1205
01:35:50,306 --> 01:35:51,352
Alan!
1206
01:35:53,653 --> 01:35:55,635
What the fuck?
1207
01:35:55,925 --> 01:35:59,287
- So what do ya think?
- That's insane! How did you do that?
1208
01:35:59,383 --> 01:36:01,087
My dad had to make a lot of calls.
1209
01:36:01,202 --> 01:36:04,717
I told Mike that you gotta do it. It's
for my third best friend.
1210
01:36:05,429 --> 01:36:09,513
Alan, it's amazing!
I love it! Thank you so much!
1211
01:36:09,610 --> 01:36:12,480
We only have him for tonight. We don't
have him permanently.
1212
01:36:13,855 --> 01:36:15,495
Understood!
1213
01:36:31,399 --> 01:36:35,207
- You do a lot of public speaking, Alan?
- I barely ??
1214
01:36:35,692 --> 01:36:40,592
Mike, you were great. It's true, that
was incredible.
1215
01:36:40,687 --> 01:36:43,445
Thanks, guys. That means a lot, really!
1216
01:36:43,823 --> 01:36:47,145
By the way, you really need to remove that
fuckin tattoo from your face!
1217
01:36:47,623 --> 01:36:49,181
Yeah! On it!
1218
01:36:51,899 --> 01:36:54,230
Sorry about the last minute change up
to the performance, Mike.
1219
01:36:54,339 --> 01:36:56,027
- Don't worry, Alan.
- What are you talking about?
1220
01:36:56,142 --> 01:36:58,863
Well he was originally supposed to sing
"Burning Up" by the Jonas Brothers...
1221
01:36:59,012 --> 01:37:01,161
...but then I remembered you don't like indie rock.
1222
01:37:01,951 --> 01:37:04,361
Hey guys. You're not gonna believe this.
1223
01:37:04,472 --> 01:37:06,606
- Is that your phone?
- Yeah.
1224
01:37:06,956 --> 01:37:08,918
How come you never tried calling us?
1225
01:37:09,013 --> 01:37:10,754
It's been dead for two days.
1226
01:37:10,883 --> 01:37:13,306
But I recharged it and found all
these photos.
1227
01:37:13,406 --> 01:37:14,606
What?
1228
01:37:14,804 --> 01:37:16,912
- Shit!
- Yeah, some of it's pretty messed up.
1229
01:37:17,011 --> 01:37:19,630
- Awesome, let's check em out.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa!
1230
01:37:19,960 --> 01:37:21,611
No one needs to see this stuff!
1231
01:37:21,726 --> 01:37:24,479
C'mon man! I'm Mike Tyson. I've seen everything!
1232
01:37:24,775 --> 01:37:27,410
- It'll be fine.
- (mumbles something)
1233
01:37:28,357 --> 01:37:33,107
- Alright, we look at it once.
- And then we delete them. It's gonna be ok.
1234
01:37:34,740 --> 01:37:35,971
- Oh, ooh!
- Mother fucker!
1235
01:37:37,510 --> 01:37:55,510
Subtitles enhanced by "Dr. Zia R Khan".
Send your comments to: drziarkhan@gmail.com
6,925 --> 01:20:48,051
Case closed.
1236
01:20:49,803 --> 01:20:51,430
Can I have more ice, please?
1237
01:20:52,598 --> 01:20:54,066
I'm not gonna lie to Lauren.
1238
01:20:54,224 --> 01:20:57,398
Stu, do you want this or not?
1239
01:20:57,728 --> 01:21:00,231
Look at what I've done, Phil.
1240
01:21:00,564 --> 01:21:02,658
What I do.
1241
01:21:05,069 --> 01:21:07,788
I have a weakness for prostitutes.
1242
01:21:08,155 --> 01:21:09,873
All kinds, apparently.
1243
01:21:14,745 --> 01:21:17,214
I have a demon in me.
1244
01:21:18,207 --> 01:21:19,754
So what?
1245
01:21:20,376 --> 01:21:25,724
Teddy's gone, but I can still save Lauren.
I'll just let her live her life without me.
1246
01:21:25,881 --> 01:21:26,928
Stu.
1247
01:21:27,091 --> 01:21:30,391
I want you to call Doug and tell him
I'm never coming back.
1248
01:21:30,844 --> 01:21:33,267
I'm getting off the hamster wheel.
1249
01:21:34,306 --> 01:21:36,559
I'm gonna stay here in Bangkok.
1250
01:21:36,725 --> 01:21:38,853
I think I belong here.
1251
01:21:39,019 --> 01:21:41,693
Open up a little dentist office.
1252
01:21:42,564 --> 01:21:44,566
Teeth cleanings with a happy ending.
1253
01:21:46,151 --> 01:21:47,869
1254
01:21:48,987 --> 01:21:50,785
You sure about this?
1255
01:21:57,955 --> 01:22:00,253
Hey! What the crud?
1256
01:22:01,917 --> 01:22:03,009
Power's out, Alan.
1257
01:22:06,088 --> 01:22:07,465
1258
01:22:07,631 --> 01:22:09,258
- Doug.
1259
01:22:09,425 --> 01:22:10,677
I need answers, man.
1260
01:22:10,843 --> 01:22:13,346
- I know, um ...
- Doug, who are you talking to?
1261
01:22:13,512 --> 01:22:15,640
- Give me the phone.
- No, that's a private...
1262
01:22:15,806 --> 01:22:17,524
- Lauren?
1263
01:22:17,683 --> 01:22:20,357
Phil? Tell me what's going on right now.
1264
01:22:21,019 --> 01:22:22,612
PHIL:
We lost your little brother.
1265
01:22:23,063 --> 01:22:24,110
LAUREN:
What?
1266
01:22:24,273 --> 01:22:26,696
PHIL:
Bangkok has him now.
1267
01:22:27,943 --> 01:22:29,820
1268
01:22:33,740 --> 01:22:35,538
PHIL:
We gotta take the stairs.
1269
01:22:35,701 --> 01:22:37,169
You're in Bangkok?
1270
01:22:40,956 --> 01:22:44,381
STU:
Ew! That's a finger!
1271
01:22:44,543 --> 01:22:45,886
Put Stu on the phone.
1272
01:22:46,879 --> 01:22:50,349
ALAN: "Bangkok experiences
1500 power outages per year."
1273
01:22:50,507 --> 01:22:52,601
PHIL: Stu really just doesn't wanna
talk to anybody.
1274
01:22:53,427 --> 01:22:54,644
STU: Water.
PHIL: Power's out.
1275
01:22:54,803 --> 01:22:57,727
CHOW: Come on, Stewie.
Use that big Jewish brain.
1276
01:22:57,890 --> 01:23:00,143
PHIL:
He's just not up for it ...
1277
01:23:00,309 --> 01:23:02,732
- Phil? Phil. Phil, give me the phone.
PHIL: it's Lauren.
1278
01:23:02,895 --> 01:23:06,991
- I know. I need to talk to her.
- I'm handling this. I'll handle this, Stu!
1279
01:23:07,149 --> 01:23:09,868
- You're gonna break her heart!
- Hey, sweetheart, it's me.
1280
01:23:10,027 --> 01:23:11,074
I'm so sorry!
1281
01:23:11,236 --> 01:23:14,831
Stu? What the hell is going on?
What does he mean, you lost Teddy?
1282
01:23:14,990 --> 01:23:17,038
STU:
What? ls that what Phil said?
1283
01:23:17,201 --> 01:23:19,829
No, no, no. We misplaced Teddy.
1284
01:23:19,995 --> 01:23:23,295
But we're all good now. We're headed back
to the resort. See you soon.
1285
01:23:24,249 --> 01:23:25,751
I love you so much.
1286
01:23:25,918 --> 01:23:29,843
And I gotta go, but I'll see you soon. Bye.
1287
01:23:32,424 --> 01:23:33,926
Stu!
1288
01:23:36,803 --> 01:23:38,225
- Stu...!
ALAN: Ah!
1289
01:23:39,932 --> 01:23:42,355
Taxi! Taxi!
1290
01:23:42,518 --> 01:23:45,943
Come on! Come on, Alan! Come on!
1291
01:23:47,356 --> 01:23:49,484
PHIL: Hey, you mind filling us in?
STU: Okay.
1292
01:23:49,650 --> 01:23:51,903
- Now, when we woke up, the power was out.
- Yeah.
1293
01:23:52,069 --> 01:23:53,946
And you found Teddy's finger in what?
1294
01:23:54,613 --> 01:23:57,787
- In a bowl of water.
- But it didn't start out as water.
1295
01:23:57,950 --> 01:24:00,544
- It was ice.
- Exactly. Teddy got ice from the machine...
1296
01:24:00,702 --> 01:24:03,501
came back to the room,
put his finger on ice, fell asleep.
1297
01:24:03,664 --> 01:24:07,043
What do you do if you wake up
and your finger's in a bowl of melted ice?
1298
01:24:07,209 --> 01:24:10,964
I'd get more ice, Stu,
on the 15th fucking floor!
1299
01:24:11,129 --> 01:24:14,224
Yes!
Teddy goes up, the power goes out ...
1300
01:24:14,383 --> 01:24:17,512
Holy shit. Of course.
1301
01:24:17,678 --> 01:24:19,430
Of course, he's in the ice machine.
1302
01:24:19,596 --> 01:24:21,644
STU:
Alan, no!
1303
01:24:25,102 --> 01:24:26,570
It's on 10!
1304
01:24:26,728 --> 01:24:27,980
Sir, is the elevator stuck?
1305
01:24:28,146 --> 01:24:29,398
1306
01:24:29,565 --> 01:24:31,988
- Come on.
STU: Go. Go, go, go.
1307
01:24:35,070 --> 01:24:36,492
Ten! This is it! Teddy!
1308
01:24:36,655 --> 01:24:37,907
STU:
Teddy! Teddy!
1309
01:24:38,073 --> 01:24:39,996
PHIL:
Look out, look out.
1310
01:24:42,160 --> 01:24:44,083
1311
01:24:45,247 --> 01:24:46,715
1312
01:24:46,873 --> 01:24:50,844
- Oh, my God! Teddy!
- He's okay! He's okay!
1313
01:24:51,003 --> 01:24:52,346
Hey, you okay?
1314
01:24:52,963 --> 01:24:54,681
You okay, man?
1315
01:24:54,840 --> 01:24:55,841
Where am I?
1316
01:24:56,008 --> 01:24:58,181
You're in an elevator in the middle
of Bangkok.
1317
01:24:58,343 --> 01:25:00,687
But we're gonna get you out of here.
It's gonna be fine.
1318
01:25:00,846 --> 01:25:02,268
TEDDY:
Hey, Stu...
1319
01:25:02,514 --> 01:25:04,312
nice tattoo.
1320
01:25:04,474 --> 01:25:05,976
1321
01:25:06,143 --> 01:25:08,316
STU: Thanks, man.
- All right, let's do this.
1322
01:25:08,478 --> 01:25:09,946
Come on. Come on, come on.
1323
01:25:10,105 --> 01:25:12,858
PHIL:
Doug, we found him. Yeah!
1324
01:25:13,025 --> 01:25:16,700
I know, I know, but we're on our way.
Okay, bye.
1325
01:25:16,862 --> 01:25:20,207
All right, guests are arriving,
people are starting to ask questions...
1326
01:25:20,365 --> 01:25:22,367
but we can still pull this off.
1327
01:25:22,534 --> 01:25:24,787
- How?
- I don't know. Like, a taxi?
1328
01:25:24,953 --> 01:25:26,626
- Chow's speedboat.
- What?
1329
01:25:26,788 --> 01:25:29,337
Last thing I remember was getting
off Chow's speedboat.
1330
01:25:29,499 --> 01:25:31,297
Chow has a speedboat?
1331
01:25:31,460 --> 01:25:33,428
The Perfect Life.
1332
01:25:34,004 --> 01:25:35,051
Come on.
1333
01:25:35,213 --> 01:25:36,681
1334
01:25:38,925 --> 01:25:41,144
Stu, get that back line.
1335
01:25:42,763 --> 01:25:44,606
ALAN:
Good jump, Phil!
1336
01:25:46,642 --> 01:25:48,519
- You all right?
ALAN: Yeah.
1337
01:25:48,894 --> 01:25:50,487
You sure you know how
to drive this thing?
1338
01:25:50,646 --> 01:25:51,818
1339
01:25:51,980 --> 01:25:54,278
Please. I was raised in yacht clubs.
I know what I'm doing.
1340
01:26:17,589 --> 01:26:19,591
You know where we're going?
1341
01:26:20,258 --> 01:26:22,101
Please address me as "captain."
1342
01:26:22,260 --> 01:26:24,763
Oh, fuck you, Alan.
1343
01:26:25,722 --> 01:26:29,568
Do you know where We're going,
captain?
1344
01:26:30,185 --> 01:26:35,066
Affirmative, cadet. We're going south,
through the Gulf of Thailand. Ha, ha.
1345
01:26:35,232 --> 01:26:36,404
Good.
1346
01:26:57,671 --> 01:27:00,971
Hey. You okay?
1347
01:27:01,883 --> 01:27:04,136
- Feeling a little better.
- All right.
1348
01:27:05,637 --> 01:27:10,108
Listen, Teddy, I'm really sorry.
We didn't mean for any of this to happen.
1349
01:27:11,143 --> 01:27:15,023
It's funny. I can't remember anything...
1350
01:27:15,188 --> 01:27:18,317
but when I woke up...
1351
01:27:18,734 --> 01:27:20,407
I was kind of happy.
1352
01:27:21,278 --> 01:27:22,450
Yeah!
1353
01:27:24,281 --> 01:27:27,660
By the way, you have any idea
where my finger is?
1354
01:27:27,826 --> 01:27:31,171
Yeah, we gave it
to a drug-dealing monkey.
1355
01:27:34,166 --> 01:27:35,543
Bangkok.
1356
01:27:36,001 --> 01:27:37,844
Yeah, right?
1357
01:27:38,003 --> 01:27:39,801
Fucking Bangkok.
1358
01:27:43,967 --> 01:27:46,061
1359
01:27:46,970 --> 01:27:50,019
He's on his way, I'm telling you.
Dad's always doing this.
1360
01:27:50,348 --> 01:27:52,021
No, it's just ...
1361
01:27:53,810 --> 01:27:55,562
I apologize! There will be no wedding!
1362
01:27:55,729 --> 01:27:58,152
No, he is on his way. He will be here.
1363
01:27:58,315 --> 01:28:00,943
Please, if you will all move to the bar.
1364
01:28:01,109 --> 01:28:03,362
We are going to clear this area. Please.
1365
01:28:03,528 --> 01:28:04,700
1366
01:28:04,863 --> 01:28:06,661
LAUREN:
Daddy, how can you do this?
1367
01:28:07,157 --> 01:28:09,785
I'm telling you, I spoke to him.
He's coming.
1368
01:28:09,951 --> 01:28:11,669
1369
01:28:11,828 --> 01:28:13,546
LAUREN:
You don't understand.
1370
01:28:13,705 --> 01:28:16,174
Look. There they are.
1371
01:28:18,376 --> 01:28:19,628
1372
01:28:20,128 --> 01:28:21,801
Stu!
1373
01:28:26,051 --> 01:28:27,394
1374
01:28:27,552 --> 01:28:29,179
Alan, there's no dock.
1375
01:28:29,346 --> 01:28:30,393
ALAN:
Just hang on.
1376
01:28:30,555 --> 01:28:32,808
- Alan, it's not funny. Turn the boat.
- Hang on.
1377
01:28:32,974 --> 01:28:34,647
Is that Alan driving the boat?
1378
01:28:34,810 --> 01:28:36,403
DOUG:
What? Uh ...
1379
01:28:36,561 --> 01:28:39,815
We should probably move back a little bit.
Come on.
1380
01:28:39,981 --> 01:28:41,358
PHIL: Alan, slow down!
STU: Please!
1381
01:28:41,525 --> 01:28:44,324
Turn the boat! Turn the boat, Alan!
Turn the fucking boat!
1382
01:28:44,486 --> 01:28:46,159
Everyone, back up a little bit here.
1383
01:28:46,321 --> 01:28:49,666
Sir, it's gonna get worse
before it gets better. Come on, sir.
1384
01:28:49,825 --> 01:28:50,917
PHIL:
Hold on! Hold on!
1385
01:28:53,912 --> 01:28:56,085
1386
01:28:56,248 --> 01:28:58,046
1387
01:29:00,752 --> 01:29:01,753
PHIL:
Fuck!
1388
01:29:01,920 --> 01:29:03,263
1389
01:29:05,465 --> 01:29:06,512
Hi.
1390
01:29:06,675 --> 01:29:08,518
Hi, everybody.
1391
01:29:10,011 --> 01:29:12,264
We came in a little hotter
than we planned.
1392
01:29:12,639 --> 01:29:14,607
And sorry we trenched the lawn here.
1393
01:29:15,517 --> 01:29:17,611
Totally fixable. A bit of sod, we'll be fine.
1394
01:29:17,769 --> 01:29:19,112
- Baby!
- Oh, my God.
1395
01:29:19,271 --> 01:29:22,366
- Hi.
- Ah, I'm so happy to see you.
1396
01:29:23,275 --> 01:29:24,777
FOHN:
Teddy.
1397
01:29:25,277 --> 01:29:26,699
Teddy, here.
1398
01:29:26,862 --> 01:29:28,956
- Hi, Dad.
- Oh, Teddy.
1399
01:29:29,114 --> 01:29:32,209
- Are you all right?
- Yeah, I'm okay.
1400
01:29:32,367 --> 01:29:33,869
No! Your hand!
1401
01:29:34,286 --> 01:29:37,961
I know. We had an accident. I'm okay.
1402
01:29:39,541 --> 01:29:41,589
- This is your fault.
- No, Dad.
1403
01:29:41,751 --> 01:29:43,628
He's right. Mr. Srisai, Lauren.
1404
01:29:43,795 --> 01:29:46,048
- I haven't been completely honest with you.
- Stu?
1405
01:29:46,214 --> 01:29:47,261
- Yeah?
- Don't do this.
1406
01:29:47,424 --> 01:29:49,722
Thanks, Phil, but gonna do it.
1407
01:29:50,260 --> 01:29:52,558
You said I'm chok.
1408
01:29:52,721 --> 01:29:55,099
Well, I'm not.
1409
01:29:55,265 --> 01:29:59,987
I'm not some weird milky, ricey,
watery goop...
1410
01:30:00,145 --> 01:30:02,773
that you feed to infants
and old people, okay?
1411
01:30:02,939 --> 01:30:06,409
Maybe I would be
if you added some cayenne pepper.
1412
01:30:06,818 --> 01:30:07,990
1413
01:30:09,571 --> 01:30:13,371
I wish I was a boring dentist
who had a boring life and boring friends...
1414
01:30:13,533 --> 01:30:16,002
but I don't, I'm not.
1415
01:30:16,244 --> 01:30:18,622
I'm actually part of this weird wolf pack.
1416
01:30:18,788 --> 01:30:22,258
Hey, it's not weird. it's pretty cool, actually.
No membership fee...
1417
01:30:22,417 --> 01:30:24,670
I have heard enough of this.
You come here.
1418
01:30:24,836 --> 01:30:26,383
Whoa.
1419
01:30:27,547 --> 01:30:29,015
Here's the deal, man.
1420
01:30:29,674 --> 01:30:32,097
I got a dark side.
1421
01:30:33,845 --> 01:30:35,973
There's a demon in me.
1422
01:30:36,473 --> 01:30:38,020
It's true, he has semen in him.
1423
01:30:39,184 --> 01:30:40,982
I said "demon."
1424
01:30:41,144 --> 01:30:43,021
But you also have semen in you.
Remember?
1425
01:30:43,188 --> 01:30:45,941
That's not relevant, but thank you, Alan.
1426
01:30:47,609 --> 01:30:48,656
Point is...
1427
01:30:48,818 --> 01:30:53,369
this demon takes me
to some pretty weird places.
1428
01:30:53,531 --> 01:30:56,785
And we lost Teddy
for two days in Bangkok.
1429
01:30:57,369 --> 01:31:01,215
But that same demon took us to hell
and back to find him.
1430
01:31:01,373 --> 01:31:03,876
We took on Bangkok and we won.
1431
01:31:04,042 --> 01:31:08,388
And that's pretty fucking cool
if you ask me. Right?
1432
01:31:11,800 --> 01:31:15,430
I love your daughter
and I'm gonna marry her...
1433
01:31:15,595 --> 01:31:17,689
unless you have any problem with that.
1434
01:31:17,847 --> 01:31:19,144
- I'm good.
- All right.
1435
01:31:20,266 --> 01:31:22,815
But all that said...
1436
01:31:22,978 --> 01:31:25,777
it would actually mean a great deal
to both of us...
1437
01:31:25,939 --> 01:31:29,318
if we could just get
your motherfucking blessing.
1438
01:31:34,406 --> 01:31:36,408
1439
01:31:45,417 --> 01:31:47,215
Hey, Alan.
1440
01:31:48,211 --> 01:31:49,884
Your head looks pretty cool shaved.
1441
01:31:51,006 --> 01:31:52,178
ALAN:
Thanks, Phil.
1442
01:31:52,841 --> 01:31:54,434
You should shave your head too.
1443
01:31:54,843 --> 01:31:56,140
Why would I do that?
1444
01:31:56,302 --> 01:31:58,930
Well, that way,
we would look exactly alike.
1445
01:32:10,066 --> 01:32:11,693
Take good care of my daughter, Stu.
1446
01:32:12,277 --> 01:32:15,326
- I will.
- Thank you.
1447
01:32:21,786 --> 01:32:24,289
killed everyone with the boat.
1448
01:32:24,456 --> 01:32:26,550
Just happy you're here.
1449
01:32:29,127 --> 01:32:32,882
Don't worry about the tattoo. I'll have it
lasered as soon as we're home in L.A.
1450
01:32:33,048 --> 01:32:34,641
It's okay. I can get used to it.
1451
01:32:34,799 --> 01:32:35,891
1452
01:32:36,051 --> 01:32:37,473
Really?
1453
01:32:40,221 --> 01:32:43,395
- But for now, let's switch sides?
- Yeah, okay.
1454
01:32:43,558 --> 01:32:45,310
Thank you.
1455
01:32:46,144 --> 01:32:47,771
Much better.
1456
01:32:49,022 --> 01:32:51,491
Dear family and friends...
1457
01:32:51,649 --> 01:32:53,322
on behalf of Stu and Lauren...
1458
01:32:53,485 --> 01:32:57,160
I welcome all of you
for this marriage celebration.
1459
01:32:57,655 --> 01:33:01,455
We are here today to encourage,
celebrate ...
1460
01:33:35,068 --> 01:33:36,570
[SINGING A FLOCK
OF SEAGULLS' "I RAN"]
1461
01:33:36,736 --> 01:33:37,988
I walk along the avenue
1462
01:33:39,197 --> 01:33:43,168
I never thought I'd meet a girl like you
1463
01:33:43,785 --> 01:33:46,129
Meet a girl like you
1464
01:33:47,914 --> 01:33:53,011
And I ran
Iran so far away
1465
01:33:53,586 --> 01:33:55,680
I couldn't get away
1466
01:33:56,214 --> 01:33:58,717
Thanks, buddy.
Can you hold on for a second?
1467
01:33:58,883 --> 01:34:00,305
Thank you. Ahem.
1468
01:34:03,763 --> 01:34:05,561
1469
01:34:08,017 --> 01:34:10,896
Hello? Hi, everyone.
1470
01:34:11,896 --> 01:34:14,240
I'm, uh... My name's Alan Garner.
1471
01:34:14,399 --> 01:34:20,702
Um, I want to thank the Asiatic people
for allowing us in your land.
1472
01:34:22,407 --> 01:34:26,537
I wanted to, um, say that, um,
I'm really happy to be here...
1473
01:34:26,703 --> 01:34:30,753
and I have a wedding gift
to present to Lauren and Stu.
1474
01:34:31,124 --> 01:34:35,220
Um, and a lot of thought have gone
into this...
1475
01:34:35,378 --> 01:34:39,554
and I hope that you appreciate it
as much I di... Are going to.
1476
01:34:39,716 --> 01:34:40,763
Okay. Guys.
1477
01:34:44,554 --> 01:34:45,601
1478
01:34:47,390 --> 01:34:50,064
1479
01:34:53,813 --> 01:34:54,939
[SINGING MURRAY HEAD'S
"ONE NIGHT IN BANGKOK"]
1480
01:34:55,106 --> 01:34:57,825
Bangkok, Oriental setting, and the city
Don't know what the city is getting
1481
01:34:58,026 --> 01:34:59,619
Oh, fuck!
1482
01:34:59,819 --> 01:35:02,368
In a show with everything
But Yul Brynner, ya know?
1483
01:35:05,200 --> 01:35:09,080
One night in Bangkok
And the world's your oyster
1484
01:35:09,704 --> 01:35:12,958
The bars are temples
But the pearls, they ain't free
1485
01:35:14,000 --> 01:35:17,800
You'll find a god in every golden cloister
1486
01:35:18,463 --> 01:35:21,558
And if you're lucky, then the god's a she
1487
01:35:21,799 --> 01:35:23,016
Alan!
1488
01:35:23,176 --> 01:35:25,429
I can feel the devil walking next to me
1489
01:35:25,595 --> 01:35:27,563
What the fuck, man?
1490
01:35:27,722 --> 01:35:30,601
- So, what do you think?
- It's insane! How did you do that?
1491
01:35:30,767 --> 01:35:33,691
My dad had to make a lot of calls,
and then I told Mike, I said:
1492
01:35:33,853 --> 01:35:36,151
"You gotta do it.
It's for my third best friend."
1493
01:35:36,898 --> 01:35:39,742
STU:
Alan, it's amazing. I love it.
1494
01:35:39,901 --> 01:35:40,948
Thank you so much.
1495
01:35:41,110 --> 01:35:44,740
We only have him for the night.
We don't own him permanently.
1496
01:35:45,531 --> 01:35:47,408
Understood.
1497
01:35:47,951 --> 01:35:52,001
One night in Bangkok
Makes the hard man humble
1498
01:35:52,538 --> 01:35:55,917
Not much between despair and ecstasy
1499
01:35:56,668 --> 01:36:00,343
I can feel the devil walking next to me
1500
01:36:03,091 --> 01:36:04,968
PHIL:
You do a lot of public speaking, Alan?
1501
01:36:05,134 --> 01:36:06,852
1502
01:36:07,345 --> 01:36:09,393
Mike, you were great.
1503
01:36:09,555 --> 01:36:11,774
STU:
It's true, that was incredible.
1504
01:36:11,933 --> 01:36:15,187
Thanks, guys. Thank you.
That means a lot. Really, it does.
1505
01:36:15,353 --> 01:36:18,482
By the way, you really need to remove
that fucking tattoo from your face.
1506
01:36:18,898 --> 01:36:20,650
Yep. On it.
1507
01:36:23,069 --> 01:36:25,197
Sorry about the last-minute
performance change.
1508
01:36:25,363 --> 01:36:27,286
- Don't worry.
- What are you talking about?
1509
01:36:27,448 --> 01:36:30,543
Well, he was supposed to sing
"Burning Up" by the Jonas Brothers...
1510
01:36:30,702 --> 01:36:33,046
but then I remembered
you don't like indie rock.
1511
01:36:33,204 --> 01:36:35,377
Hey, guys. You're not gonna believe this.
1512
01:36:35,540 --> 01:36:37,918
- Is that your phone?
- Yeah.
1513
01:36:38,084 --> 01:36:40,007
How come you never tried calling us?
1514
01:36:40,169 --> 01:36:41,762
It's been dead for two days.
1515
01:36:41,921 --> 01:36:44,219
But I recharged it
and found all these photos.
1516
01:36:44,382 --> 01:36:45,975
- What?
- Oh, shit.
1517
01:36:46,134 --> 01:36:47,727
Some of it's pretty messed up.
1518
01:36:47,885 --> 01:36:50,889
- Awesome. Let's check them out.
STU: Whoa, whoa, whoa.
1519
01:36:51,055 --> 01:36:52,557
No one needs to see this stuff.
1520
01:36:52,724 --> 01:36:55,147
Come on, man. I'm Mike Tyson.
I've seen everything.
1521
01:36:55,727 --> 01:36:57,855
- It'll be fine.
- What...?
1522
01:36:59,397 --> 01:37:01,024
All right. But we look at it once...
1523
01:37:01,190 --> 01:37:04,410
And then we delete them.
It's gonna be okay.
1524
01:37:04,569 --> 01:37:05,570
1525
01:37:05,737 --> 01:37:06,829
Motherfucker.
1526
01:41:44,432 --> 01:41:46,434
1527
01:41:47,305 --> 01:42:47,929
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