1
00:00:41,583 --> 00:00:43,584
(♪♪♪)

2
00:01:23,584 --> 00:01:26,502
GWEN:
Dear Santa, are you real?

3
00:01:26,670 --> 00:01:28,588
If you live at the North Pole,

4
00:01:28,756 --> 00:01:32,341
how come I can't see your house
when I look on Google Earth?

5
00:01:33,469 --> 00:01:35,511
Are you Saint Nicholas?

6
00:01:35,679 --> 00:01:38,139
Because you'd be incredibly old.

7
00:01:38,307 --> 00:01:40,808
How do you have time
to read all the letters

8
00:01:40,976 --> 00:01:42,977
from all the children in the world?

9
00:01:43,145 --> 00:01:47,565
And how many cookies and mince pies
have you eaten in all of history?

10
00:01:47,733 --> 00:01:50,902
How do you get all the presents
in the sack?

11
00:01:51,069 --> 00:01:53,404
Does your sack have to
get bigger every year

12
00:01:53,572 --> 00:01:56,407
because of exponential
population growth?

13
00:01:56,575 --> 00:01:58,826
And how do you get down
the chimneys?

14
00:01:58,994 --> 00:02:01,496
I put my head in ours
and it's really small.

15
00:02:01,663 --> 00:02:04,081
Even if you could squeeze down it
in one minute,

16
00:02:04,249 --> 00:02:07,335
there's nine houses in my road
so that's nearly 10 minutes.

17
00:02:07,503 --> 00:02:10,046
And there are millions of roads
in the world.

18
00:02:10,214 --> 00:02:13,800
It must be so hard being Santa
these days.

19
00:02:14,218 --> 00:02:18,137
I mean, what if after all of that,
I'm staying at Grandma's?

20
00:02:18,305 --> 00:02:23,351
Santa, how can you get round
the whole world in just one night?

21
00:02:23,519 --> 00:02:24,477
My friend said

22
00:02:24,645 --> 00:02:26,437
that you'd have to go so fast,

23
00:02:26,605 --> 00:02:31,400
it would make you and the sleigh
and the reindeer all burn up.

24
00:02:31,568 --> 00:02:35,530
I think you are real.
But how do you do it?

25
00:02:35,697 --> 00:02:40,576
For Christmas I would love
a pink Twinkle Bike with stabilizers.

26
00:02:40,744 --> 00:02:44,705
But please don't bring it
if it makes you and the reindeer burn.

27
00:02:44,957 --> 00:02:50,294
Love, Gwen Hines. 23 Mimosa Avenue,
Trelew, Cornwall, England.

28
00:02:50,587 --> 00:02:53,005
ARTHUR:
Dear Gwen, thank you for your letter

29
00:02:53,173 --> 00:02:56,259
and, heh, brilliant picture.

30
00:02:56,426 --> 00:03:01,138
Your request for a pink Twinkle Bike
will be passed on to Santa.

31
00:03:01,306 --> 00:03:04,058
And, yes, do believe in Santa.

32
00:03:04,685 --> 00:03:06,727
He is real.

33
00:03:07,521 --> 00:03:09,480
He's the greatest man ever.

34
00:03:09,940 --> 00:03:12,650
And he can get around the world
to every child

35
00:03:12,818 --> 00:03:15,486
without a single reindeer
being roasted ali...

36
00:03:16,363 --> 00:03:17,530
Hurt.

37
00:03:18,073 --> 00:03:22,785
By the time the sun comes up
on Christmas Day, he'll get to you too

38
00:03:23,453 --> 00:03:24,495
using his

39
00:03:24,663 --> 00:03:27,415
special magic.

40
00:03:40,888 --> 00:03:42,889
(♪♪♪)

41
00:03:48,103 --> 00:03:50,021
(OVER SPEAKERS)
♪ Santa Claus is comin' to town ♪

42
00:03:50,188 --> 00:03:51,480
♪ Santa's comin' to town ♪ ♪

43
00:03:51,648 --> 00:03:52,481
(CLOCK TOLLS)

44
00:03:53,692 --> 00:03:55,693
(SQUAWKING)

45
00:04:10,292 --> 00:04:12,293
(♪♪♪)

46
00:04:18,216 --> 00:04:19,467
(CAWS)

47
00:04:26,725 --> 00:04:27,475
(♪♪♪)

48
00:04:30,854 --> 00:04:32,688
First Field Elf Battalion, set.

49
00:04:32,856 --> 00:04:35,441
Straighten that teddy bear, soldier.
Ma'am.

50
00:04:39,488 --> 00:04:41,197
SANTA:
Ah. Hm.

51
00:04:41,907 --> 00:04:42,698
Ho, ho, ho.

52
00:04:42,866 --> 00:04:43,532
ANDREW:
That's a:

53
00:04:43,700 --> 00:04:44,533
"Ho, ho, ho" Aarhus.

54
00:04:44,701 --> 00:04:45,701
CARLOS:
Field elves, jingle!

55
00:04:45,869 --> 00:04:49,914
Jingle, jingle! Drop time,
18.14 seconds per household.

56
00:05:01,760 --> 00:05:03,302
ANDREW: Left foot, sir. Right foot, sir.
SANTA: Unh. Unh.

57
00:05:03,679 --> 00:05:05,471
Ooh, ha, ha, ha.
ANDREW: That's it, that's it.

58
00:05:05,639 --> 00:05:06,514
(DOG BARKING)

59
00:05:06,682 --> 00:05:08,474
Dog food incoming.
Meaty chunks in the hole.

60
00:05:08,642 --> 00:05:09,642
(CAR ALARM WALLS
THEN CHIRPS)

61
00:05:13,146 --> 00:05:16,524
ELF 1: Wow, a grand piano. This kid
must have been good his whole life.

62
00:05:37,170 --> 00:05:39,046
(BABIES CRYING)

63
00:05:41,633 --> 00:05:44,301
Marvelous. Gets me every time.

64
00:05:47,139 --> 00:05:48,305
(MAN SNORING)

65
00:05:50,600 --> 00:05:51,392
(PARROT SQUAWKING)

66
00:05:51,560 --> 00:05:53,644
Merry Christmas.
Merry Christmas.

67
00:05:55,063 --> 00:05:55,980
Merry...

68
00:06:06,575 --> 00:06:07,700
Carrot chomped.

69
00:06:10,954 --> 00:06:12,329
(SNORING)

70
00:06:25,677 --> 00:06:26,343
(GASPS)

71
00:06:47,115 --> 00:06:47,865
(WATCH BEEPS)

72
00:06:48,033 --> 00:06:50,284
Ahem. Sir?
Oh! Goodness me.

73
00:06:50,744 --> 00:06:51,786
(SANTA CHUCKLES
THEN GRUNTS)

74
00:06:52,454 --> 00:06:53,996
Sorry. Heh, heh.

75
00:06:54,664 --> 00:06:56,290
Drop complete. Stand by, S-1.

76
00:06:56,458 --> 00:06:58,918
ELF 2: You're gonna make it, soldier.
Aarhus is merry.

77
00:06:59,252 --> 00:07:00,669
ELF 3 (OVER RADIO):
Santa has left the building.

78
00:07:08,220 --> 00:07:09,804
(♪♪♪)

79
00:07:14,226 --> 00:07:16,018
STEVE (OVER RADIO):
North Pole to S-1, you have weather

80
00:07:16,186 --> 00:07:17,770
fluctuation. Update camouflage.

81
00:07:17,938 --> 00:07:19,396
ELF 4:
Roger that, Control.

82
00:07:19,606 --> 00:07:20,439
Hull projection

83
00:07:20,607 --> 00:07:21,857
optimized.
SARAH: Roger, S-1.

84
00:07:22,025 --> 00:07:23,150
CHRIS:
Denmark cleared.

85
00:07:23,318 --> 00:07:26,445
STEVE: Next drop, Flensburg,
minus 12.4 seconds.

86
00:07:27,572 --> 00:07:28,405
COMPUTER:
Flensburg weather:

87
00:07:28,865 --> 00:07:29,824
Deep, crisp, even.

88
00:07:29,991 --> 00:07:31,492
ELF 5: Making a list.
ELF 6: Check it twice.

89
00:07:31,660 --> 00:07:33,327
ELF 5: Checking twice.
ELF 6: A wrap for Denmark.

90
00:07:33,495 --> 00:07:35,287
COMPUTER:
Converting milk and cookies to biofuel.

91
00:07:35,455 --> 00:07:36,705
(KNOCK ON DOOR)

92
00:07:37,415 --> 00:07:38,415
SANTA:
Hello? Oh.

93
00:07:38,583 --> 00:07:40,459
Ah. Ha, ha. Uh...

94
00:07:40,669 --> 00:07:42,670
COMPUTER: Santa on bridge.
SANTA: Sorry.

95
00:07:42,838 --> 00:07:43,796
Forgot the PIN code.

96
00:07:43,964 --> 00:07:45,881
Just crossed into Germany, sir.

97
00:07:46,091 --> 00:07:47,258
Germany.

98
00:07:47,425 --> 00:07:49,927
So many countries these days.
CHRIS: It's a big night, sir.

99
00:07:50,512 --> 00:07:52,930
My, uh, 70th mission. Yes.

100
00:07:53,098 --> 00:07:54,014
(BELCHES)

101
00:07:54,182 --> 00:07:55,099
Oh, sorry.

102
00:07:55,267 --> 00:07:57,768
One too many mince pies.

103
00:07:57,978 --> 00:07:59,645
Looking forward to it? Retirement?

104
00:07:59,813 --> 00:08:01,438
Hm? Oh!

105
00:08:01,773 --> 00:08:03,440
COMPUTER:
Ten seconds to Flensburg.

106
00:08:03,608 --> 00:08:05,276
Maintain current, um...

107
00:08:05,861 --> 00:08:08,404
Carry on.
COMPUTER: Update national protocol.

108
00:08:08,572 --> 00:08:11,532
Delete rice pudding and carrot.
German leave-out for Santa

109
00:08:11,700 --> 00:08:14,785
is shoe on front step.
Repeat, shoe on step.

110
00:08:15,871 --> 00:08:18,247
ELF 1: 600AM3.
ELF 2: Gift secured.

111
00:08:18,415 --> 00:08:20,541
CARLOS:
Oi, soldier. Get off your baubles.

112
00:08:20,709 --> 00:08:23,460
What happened to peace and goodwill
to all men, sarge?

113
00:08:23,628 --> 00:08:26,130
It don't say nothing about elves, soldier.
Go, go, go!

114
00:08:26,298 --> 00:08:27,464
STEVE (OVER PA):
Engage rooftops.

115
00:08:27,632 --> 00:08:28,465
ELF 3:
It's snow time!

116
00:08:31,386 --> 00:08:33,053
STEVE:
S-1, hold drop altitude.

117
00:08:33,221 --> 00:08:34,346
This is Germany, Father.

118
00:08:34,514 --> 00:08:37,266
Drive on the right.
National dish: sausage.

119
00:08:37,475 --> 00:08:39,143
Okay, let's show them, people.

120
00:08:39,311 --> 00:08:42,563
Operation Santa Claus
is coming to town.

121
00:08:43,565 --> 00:08:45,566
(♪♪♪)

122
00:08:58,955 --> 00:09:00,414
ELF 1: Drop complete.
ELF 2: Drop complete.

123
00:09:00,582 --> 00:09:02,291
ELF 3: Drop complete.
ELF 4: Drop complete.

124
00:09:02,459 --> 00:09:04,585
ELF 5: Drop complete.
ELF 6: Drop complete.

125
00:09:05,712 --> 00:09:07,129
(ELVES CHATTERING)

126
00:09:10,634 --> 00:09:12,259
COMPUTER:
Operational efficiency:

127
00:09:12,427 --> 00:09:13,385
One hundred percent.
Wow.

128
00:09:13,553 --> 00:09:14,261
DAVID:
Hold the handrail.

129
00:09:14,679 --> 00:09:15,638
Whoa! Oops.

130
00:09:15,972 --> 00:09:16,764
Dear, I'm sorry.

131
00:09:16,932 --> 00:09:17,932
Thanks. Brendon Doherty.

132
00:09:18,099 --> 00:09:19,642
Ruby Miller. That's Grace Smith.

133
00:09:19,809 --> 00:09:20,643
She wants

134
00:09:20,810 --> 00:09:22,728
an elephant.
DAVID: What are you doing here?

135
00:09:22,896 --> 00:09:24,855
Got to get this letter
from Maria Costa

136
00:09:25,023 --> 00:09:25,773
to Steve.

137
00:09:25,941 --> 00:09:26,607
Oh, no! Maria!

138
00:09:26,775 --> 00:09:28,359
DAVID:
Whoops! Bye-bye, Maria.

139
00:09:28,526 --> 00:09:29,235
ARTHUR:
Whoa!

140
00:09:29,402 --> 00:09:30,569
Is this yours, Arthur?

141
00:09:30,737 --> 00:09:31,862
Oh, thanks, Kenneth.

142
00:09:32,030 --> 00:09:33,197
Merry Christmas.
DAVID: Want

143
00:09:33,365 --> 00:09:34,114
a ride?

144
00:09:34,282 --> 00:09:35,115
ELF 7:
Doubt it.

145
00:09:35,367 --> 00:09:36,617
No, thanks. I'm not

146
00:09:36,785 --> 00:09:38,452
very good with heights, speed

147
00:09:38,620 --> 00:09:39,370
and that thing!

148
00:09:39,537 --> 00:09:42,081
Buckle down, people.
Buckle down.

149
00:09:42,249 --> 00:09:43,415
STEVE: Peter.
Ready, sir.

150
00:09:43,583 --> 00:09:45,292
SITREP on special forces.

151
00:09:45,460 --> 00:09:47,044
Where are they?
PETER: America, sir.

152
00:09:47,254 --> 00:09:49,755
White House. Delivering
to the president's children, sir.

153
00:09:50,048 --> 00:09:53,175
STEVE: Okay. Left out of the Oval
Office, right at the Cabinet Room

154
00:09:53,343 --> 00:09:54,385
via the air vents.

155
00:09:54,552 --> 00:09:56,345
You think of everything, sir.

156
00:09:56,513 --> 00:09:58,681
Thank you, Peter. I'd love an espresso.

157
00:09:58,848 --> 00:09:59,848
Coming right up. Heh, heh.

158
00:10:00,350 --> 00:10:02,309
ARTHUR:
Oop! Beg your pardon. Well done!

159
00:10:02,477 --> 00:10:03,727
Merry Christmas.

160
00:10:04,396 --> 00:10:06,355
Wow, brilliant.
ELF 8: Mind the glasses.

161
00:10:06,523 --> 00:10:07,564
ARTHUR:
Keep up, everybody.

162
00:10:07,774 --> 00:10:10,609
ELF 9: Arthur.
Sorry. Can I just...? Um...

163
00:10:10,777 --> 00:10:11,610
No, never mind.

164
00:10:11,778 --> 00:10:12,820
Do you mind if I...?
Ow!

165
00:10:12,988 --> 00:10:13,654
Oh, dear.

166
00:10:13,822 --> 00:10:14,488
I'm so sorry.

167
00:10:14,656 --> 00:10:16,782
6B...
Merry Christmas.

168
00:10:16,950 --> 00:10:19,702
FRC...
And a happy New Year.

169
00:10:20,078 --> 00:10:21,078
(SIGHS)

170
00:10:21,579 --> 00:10:22,746
PETER:
What a night, sir.

171
00:10:23,164 --> 00:10:24,707
Out with the old Santa,

172
00:10:24,874 --> 00:10:27,001
in with the new, eh?

173
00:10:27,460 --> 00:10:29,920
Let's focus on the now, eh, Peter?

174
00:10:30,088 --> 00:10:30,921
Support teams,

175
00:10:31,089 --> 00:10:32,881
prep Poland.
COMPUTER: Poland.

176
00:10:33,049 --> 00:10:34,800
Poland. Do you know what they call

177
00:10:34,968 --> 00:10:36,176
Dad here?

178
00:10:38,763 --> 00:10:40,264
(SPEAKS IN POLISH)

179
00:10:42,225 --> 00:10:42,975
Anyway.

180
00:10:43,143 --> 00:10:44,018
I guess he's harmless.

181
00:10:44,185 --> 00:10:44,852
Ow!

182
00:10:45,103 --> 00:10:46,312
(ELVES GRUNTING
AND GROANING)

183
00:10:46,563 --> 00:10:47,563
ARTHUR:
I'm terribly sorry.

184
00:10:47,731 --> 00:10:48,522
Is that your leg? Whoo!

185
00:10:51,484 --> 00:10:52,359
I'm sorry!

186
00:10:54,195 --> 00:10:56,780
I'm really sorry. It's my
Christmas slippers on the ice.

187
00:10:56,948 --> 00:10:58,324
(SLIPPERS PLAY
"SILENT NIGHT")

188
00:10:58,658 --> 00:11:00,034
They're from China.

189
00:11:00,201 --> 00:11:01,160
Found it.
What?

190
00:11:01,328 --> 00:11:02,578
The letter. The one I said.

191
00:11:02,746 --> 00:11:04,038
From Maria Costa.

192
00:11:04,205 --> 00:11:06,999
She asked for a Pocket-Puppy,
but she wants the blue one.

193
00:11:07,167 --> 00:11:09,585
It looks like her auntie's dog,
Biffo, that ran away.

194
00:11:09,753 --> 00:11:11,211
I remember because she sent

195
00:11:11,379 --> 00:11:12,629
a picture of Biffo. See?

196
00:11:12,797 --> 00:11:14,381
PETER: Child CG786K?
Look, Arthur.

197
00:11:15,258 --> 00:11:16,675
This was Greece, sir.

198
00:11:16,843 --> 00:11:18,427
Five countries ago, sir.

199
00:11:18,678 --> 00:11:20,846
Oh. Um...

200
00:11:21,473 --> 00:11:24,558
I just want it to be perfect
for every kid.

201
00:11:24,726 --> 00:11:27,061
Hey, there's Dad. Santa!

202
00:11:27,228 --> 00:11:30,731
Maria Costa, Dad.
Did she get the blue one?!

203
00:11:30,899 --> 00:11:33,108
Little bro, it's great to have you around.

204
00:11:33,276 --> 00:11:38,364
You bring a genuine aura
of seasonal positivity.

205
00:11:38,573 --> 00:11:39,239
Heh. Thanks, Steve.

206
00:11:39,407 --> 00:11:43,077
But could you not be
in Mission Control

207
00:11:43,244 --> 00:11:46,330
at all for the rest of the night?

208
00:11:46,790 --> 00:11:49,750
Oh. Um... Uh...

209
00:11:50,001 --> 00:11:50,751
Yeah.

210
00:11:50,960 --> 00:11:52,336
ELF 10: All right?
ELF 11: I'll never walk

211
00:11:54,798 --> 00:11:55,964
Right.

212
00:11:56,716 --> 00:11:58,550
Sorry if I... Uh...

213
00:11:59,302 --> 00:11:59,968
Brilliant.

214
00:12:01,179 --> 00:12:02,179
ELF 12:
They should put him

215
00:12:02,347 --> 00:12:05,307
somewhere out of harm's way.
What, like the South Pole?

216
00:12:05,475 --> 00:12:06,642
(ALARM WALLS)

217
00:12:07,018 --> 00:12:07,726
SEAMUS:
Waker!

218
00:12:08,103 --> 00:12:09,144
We have a waker!

219
00:12:10,146 --> 00:12:11,480
And Santa's in there!

220
00:12:11,648 --> 00:12:12,439
(GASPS)

221
00:12:12,982 --> 00:12:14,108
(ALL GASPING)

222
00:12:14,692 --> 00:12:15,901
COMPUTER:
Code red.

223
00:12:16,069 --> 00:12:18,070
Repeat: code red.

224
00:12:27,205 --> 00:12:30,082
Santa? Are you here?

225
00:12:36,172 --> 00:12:37,047
(PRESENT MOOS)

226
00:12:37,298 --> 00:12:38,006
(WHISPERS)
Ooh. Steve?

227
00:12:38,174 --> 00:12:39,258
STEVE:
Hold on, Father.

228
00:12:39,426 --> 00:12:40,676
Intel! Get me Intel!

229
00:12:40,844 --> 00:12:42,469
PETER:
Santa's head seems to be resting

230
00:12:42,637 --> 00:12:45,139
on some sort of "try me" button, sir.

231
00:12:45,598 --> 00:12:46,515
(ALL GASP)

232
00:12:46,766 --> 00:12:49,017
It's the Quack Quack Moo
Activity Farm, sir.

233
00:12:49,227 --> 00:12:51,061
It features 12 separate
animal sounds.

234
00:12:51,229 --> 00:12:53,772
Sings "Old MacDonald Had A Farm."
PETER: The moment

235
00:12:53,940 --> 00:12:57,651
your father lifts his head, there'll be
10 seconds of constant mooing.

236
00:12:57,861 --> 00:12:59,194
COMPUTER:
Risk of mooing: 98 percent.

237
00:12:59,362 --> 00:13:00,988
STEVE:
Captain Marino,

238
00:13:01,156 --> 00:13:03,240
you'll have to take the batteries out.

239
00:13:03,408 --> 00:13:04,491
He'd have to get past

240
00:13:04,659 --> 00:13:08,245
the wrapping, the box and 14 twist ties
anchoring it to the cardboard.

241
00:13:08,455 --> 00:13:09,413
It's too noisy!

242
00:13:09,581 --> 00:13:11,415
It'll wake the boy! He'll see Santa!

243
00:13:11,624 --> 00:13:13,584
ELF 13:
Remember 1816

244
00:13:13,751 --> 00:13:16,253
when Santa was seen.
They tracked him home.

245
00:13:16,463 --> 00:13:17,629
He had to go into hiding.

246
00:13:17,797 --> 00:13:22,468
No Christmas for six years.
The elves all alone!

247
00:13:22,677 --> 00:13:24,428
ELF 14:
The elves alone!

248
00:13:24,596 --> 00:13:25,554
(WHIMPERS)

249
00:13:25,763 --> 00:13:26,805
STEVE:
Calm, people!

250
00:13:26,973 --> 00:13:28,849
It's not 1816 now.

251
00:13:29,058 --> 00:13:32,144
Marino, your HOHO
is equipped with state-of-the-art

252
00:13:32,312 --> 00:13:35,898
EMF sensor technology hacked directly
from the military's missile program.

253
00:13:36,065 --> 00:13:37,816
I want you to locate the batteries

254
00:13:37,984 --> 00:13:40,569
and perform a Level 3
giftwrap incision.

255
00:13:41,029 --> 00:13:42,446
Go in through the robin.

256
00:13:46,117 --> 00:13:47,618
COMPUTER:
Incising robin.

257
00:13:50,455 --> 00:13:52,456
(♪♪♪)

258
00:13:55,418 --> 00:13:56,543
GRANDSANTA:
Big girl's blouse.

259
00:13:56,711 --> 00:13:57,794
Lot of fuss.

260
00:13:57,962 --> 00:13:59,880
I did my 70 missions

261
00:14:00,048 --> 00:14:02,216
without any of this malarkey.

262
00:14:02,759 --> 00:14:04,468
Didn't we, lad? Ha, ha.

263
00:14:04,677 --> 00:14:07,346
COMPUTER: Twist ties clear.
Can I watch with you, Grandsanta?

264
00:14:07,514 --> 00:14:08,597
Shut the door!

265
00:14:08,765 --> 00:14:09,806
Hell's berries,

266
00:14:09,974 --> 00:14:13,185
it's the North Pole!
Kid still asleep? He mustn't see Santa.

267
00:14:13,353 --> 00:14:15,687
Dad would rather die than spoil it.
What if you

268
00:14:15,855 --> 00:14:17,439
wake the odd nipper? A whack

269
00:14:17,607 --> 00:14:20,025
with a sock of sand,
dab of whiskey on the lips,

270
00:14:20,193 --> 00:14:21,735
they don't remember.

271
00:14:21,903 --> 00:14:23,237
Ha, ha, ha.

272
00:14:23,696 --> 00:14:25,697
COMPUTER: Screwdriver elf.
ARTHUR: Yes! Ha-ha-ha!

273
00:14:25,865 --> 00:14:26,615
GRANDSANTA:
What happened

274
00:14:26,783 --> 00:14:29,952
to going down the "chimbley"?
Never did me any har...

275
00:14:30,119 --> 00:14:30,911
(COUGHS)

276
00:14:31,079 --> 00:14:32,120
Get off me!

277
00:14:32,288 --> 00:14:33,539
You smell like a wet elf.

278
00:14:33,706 --> 00:14:35,499
Goodness! Down, boy!
Basket.

279
00:14:35,667 --> 00:14:37,042
Here you are, Grandsanta.

280
00:14:37,210 --> 00:14:39,044
I've made you a nice mince pie.

281
00:14:39,212 --> 00:14:41,004
I can't eat that. It gets in me teeth.

282
00:14:41,172 --> 00:14:42,130
Oh, dear.

283
00:14:42,298 --> 00:14:43,423
Now I've got to visit

284
00:14:43,591 --> 00:14:44,341
the elf hospital,

285
00:14:44,509 --> 00:14:47,094
look over a treaty with Greenland
and make the gravy.

286
00:14:47,262 --> 00:14:50,347
Then we'll finally have
the whole family home for Christmas.

287
00:14:50,515 --> 00:14:51,765
They're nearly done!

288
00:14:52,016 --> 00:14:52,933
COMPUTER:
Battery clear.

289
00:14:53,101 --> 00:14:53,850
(BEEPING ON TV)

290
00:14:54,018 --> 00:14:54,685
Oh, no.

291
00:14:54,852 --> 00:14:55,644
(ALL GASP)

292
00:14:56,020 --> 00:14:57,563
It's the detachable milk maid!

293
00:14:57,772 --> 00:15:00,023
She's got her own power source!
NORAH: Five seconds

294
00:15:00,525 --> 00:15:02,192
till she starts singing!

295
00:15:02,360 --> 00:15:03,068
(ALL GASP)

296
00:15:03,903 --> 00:15:04,903
Four!

297
00:15:05,822 --> 00:15:07,030
Three!

298
00:15:08,241 --> 00:15:09,324
Two!

299
00:15:10,577 --> 00:15:11,410
One!

300
00:15:11,578 --> 00:15:12,869
Use your HOHO. Exit

301
00:15:13,037 --> 00:15:13,912
code 12. Code 12!

302
00:15:14,080 --> 00:15:15,455
(PRESENT MOOS)

303
00:15:15,623 --> 00:15:16,873
TOY:
♪ Old McDonald had a farm ♪ ♪

304
00:15:17,292 --> 00:15:18,542
(PLAYS "LA CUCARACHA")

305
00:15:23,089 --> 00:15:25,007
(PLAYS SOUND OF
CAR HORN PASSING)

306
00:15:26,050 --> 00:15:26,967
(ALL SIGH)

307
00:15:27,135 --> 00:15:28,468
Okay, go, go, go!

308
00:15:28,636 --> 00:15:30,804
Revise drop time to 14.13 seconds.

309
00:15:30,972 --> 00:15:32,347
Let's pick this up, people!

310
00:15:32,515 --> 00:15:33,181
COMPUTER:
Drop time

311
00:15:33,349 --> 00:15:34,850
revised. Picking this up,

312
00:15:35,018 --> 00:15:35,976
people.

313
00:15:36,144 --> 00:15:37,227
ELF 1:
Everybody, mission

314
00:15:37,395 --> 00:15:38,437
re-engage.

315
00:15:43,443 --> 00:15:44,318
ALL:
Three,

316
00:15:44,485 --> 00:15:45,319
two,

317
00:15:45,486 --> 00:15:46,320
one!

318
00:15:47,655 --> 00:15:49,031
COMPUTER:
Mission accomplished.

319
00:15:49,198 --> 00:15:50,324
(ALL CHEERING)

320
00:15:50,491 --> 00:15:51,658
Hey!

321
00:15:51,826 --> 00:15:53,660
(SNORING)

322
00:15:58,416 --> 00:16:00,334
Oh, what a night that was.

323
00:16:00,501 --> 00:16:02,294
That detachable
milk maid thing.

324
00:16:02,462 --> 00:16:05,380
This is just the beginning,
right, sir?

325
00:16:06,257 --> 00:16:07,799
I got you a present, sir.

326
00:16:08,176 --> 00:16:10,344
Not S for Steve, sir.

327
00:16:11,304 --> 00:16:13,096
S for Santa.

328
00:16:13,848 --> 00:16:17,392
Oh, I don't know about that, Peter.
Okay,

329
00:16:17,602 --> 00:16:19,269
let's bring them home.

330
00:16:19,646 --> 00:16:21,647
(♪♪♪)

331
00:16:24,859 --> 00:16:25,984
(BARKING)

332
00:16:45,004 --> 00:16:46,004
(CROWD CHEERING)

333
00:16:54,180 --> 00:16:55,055
FERGUS:
CCTV

334
00:16:55,306 --> 00:16:57,140
in every room!
Had to go under the floor!

335
00:16:57,308 --> 00:16:58,058
ELF 1:
Sarah.

336
00:16:58,226 --> 00:17:00,435
CARLOS:
Back! Holly injury coming through!

337
00:17:00,770 --> 00:17:01,436
(YELLS)

338
00:17:01,604 --> 00:17:02,562
NORAH:
Hey, fancy

339
00:17:02,730 --> 00:17:04,231
a trip on the S-1, Arthur?

340
00:17:04,399 --> 00:17:05,982
It only goes 150,000

341
00:17:06,150 --> 00:17:07,901
miles an hour.
No, no. Thanks.

342
00:17:08,069 --> 00:17:10,237
I see a bit of the world in my office,
you know.

343
00:17:10,405 --> 00:17:12,698
Some of the stamps I get
are amazing.

344
00:17:12,865 --> 00:17:13,532
(HORN HONKS)

345
00:17:13,700 --> 00:17:14,533
BRYONY:
Excuse me.

346
00:17:15,410 --> 00:17:16,743
ALL:
Santa!

347
00:17:17,078 --> 00:17:17,953
ARTHUR:
Dad!

348
00:17:18,579 --> 00:17:19,871
Dad! Dad!

349
00:17:20,039 --> 00:17:21,915
I'm sorry. So sorry. Dad!

350
00:17:22,208 --> 00:17:23,125
Dad!

351
00:17:23,292 --> 00:17:24,918
Santa's waving!
ELF 2: He's waving at me!

352
00:17:25,086 --> 00:17:26,420
DEBORAH: He's waving at me!
ELF 3: At me!

353
00:17:26,587 --> 00:17:28,004
Dad! Ha, ha!

354
00:17:29,132 --> 00:17:30,340
Arthur.

355
00:17:30,508 --> 00:17:32,050
Happy Christmas.

356
00:17:32,635 --> 00:17:33,885
You too.

357
00:17:35,096 --> 00:17:36,847
You were fantastic!

358
00:17:37,014 --> 00:17:38,056
(CHUCKLES)

359
00:17:38,224 --> 00:17:40,350
Look! Christmas slippers.

360
00:17:40,727 --> 00:17:43,228
Ha! Well done. Yes.

361
00:17:43,855 --> 00:17:44,896
STEVE:
Father?

362
00:17:45,064 --> 00:17:48,358
Ah, there he is. Steve!

363
00:17:49,402 --> 00:17:51,445
(ALL APPLAUDING)

364
00:17:52,864 --> 00:17:55,574
Mission accomplished!

365
00:17:56,117 --> 00:17:57,534
(ALL CHEERING)

366
00:17:59,537 --> 00:18:00,579
Tonight we delivered

367
00:18:01,289 --> 00:18:03,707
2 billion presents.

368
00:18:03,916 --> 00:18:05,375
On this,

369
00:18:05,543 --> 00:18:07,043
my 70th mission!

370
00:18:07,754 --> 00:18:08,879
(CROWD CHEERS)

371
00:18:09,046 --> 00:18:10,839
ELF 5:
We'll miss you, Santa!

372
00:18:11,007 --> 00:18:11,673
Stand by.

373
00:18:11,841 --> 00:18:12,507
Psst!

374
00:18:12,675 --> 00:18:13,341
(FEEDBACK SQUEALS)

375
00:18:14,552 --> 00:18:15,969
Oh, thank you.

376
00:18:16,637 --> 00:18:19,431
You know, I sometimes think
I couldn't do it without you.

377
00:18:19,599 --> 00:18:20,265
(SANTA CHUCKLES)

378
00:18:20,433 --> 00:18:21,391
And my splendid

379
00:18:21,559 --> 00:18:25,020
Margaret, who's stood by me
all these years

380
00:18:25,188 --> 00:18:27,606
very ably doing all that, uh...

381
00:18:27,857 --> 00:18:28,899
stuff

382
00:18:29,066 --> 00:18:31,568
that women do when
their husbands work. Marvelous.

383
00:18:31,861 --> 00:18:33,278
(CROWD CHEERS)

384
00:18:34,197 --> 00:18:35,655
And, uh, Arthur, yes, doing

385
00:18:35,823 --> 00:18:37,824
vital work in Maintenance,
really vital.

386
00:18:37,992 --> 00:18:39,326
I, um... I work

387
00:18:39,494 --> 00:18:40,202
in Letters.

388
00:18:40,369 --> 00:18:43,538
Letters, of course. I'm so sorry.
ARTHUR: You moved me

389
00:18:43,706 --> 00:18:46,917
after I tripped over that plug
and melted down the elf barracks.

390
00:18:47,084 --> 00:18:48,335
DAVID:
I lost everything in that flood!

391
00:18:49,086 --> 00:18:50,545
SANTA:
Yes. Now,

392
00:18:51,756 --> 00:18:55,675
many years ago, my father told me

393
00:18:55,843 --> 00:18:56,760
(SNORES)

394
00:18:57,595 --> 00:19:01,431
that being Santa
is the best job in the world.

395
00:19:02,016 --> 00:19:03,558
He was right.

396
00:19:03,726 --> 00:19:05,435
I've loved it.

397
00:19:06,562 --> 00:19:07,729
(♪♪♪)

398
00:19:08,314 --> 00:19:12,067
I can't wait for year 71!

399
00:19:14,904 --> 00:19:16,321
(ALL CHEERING)

400
00:19:17,740 --> 00:19:19,241
Merry Christmas, everyone.

401
00:19:25,915 --> 00:19:26,665
(GRUNTS)

402
00:19:31,629 --> 00:19:35,215
ELVES (CHANTING): He's red, he's white!
He's worked all through the night!

403
00:19:35,383 --> 00:19:37,008
Santa!

404
00:19:48,938 --> 00:19:49,813
(ARTHUR GRUNTS)

405
00:19:51,607 --> 00:19:55,861
"What do you get
if you eat Christmas decorations?

406
00:19:56,279 --> 00:19:57,946
Tinselitis!"

407
00:19:58,114 --> 00:20:00,073
(LAUGHS)

408
00:20:01,784 --> 00:20:04,286
Isn't this the best bit of Christmas?

409
00:20:05,830 --> 00:20:06,913
(SANTA YAWNS)

410
00:20:07,081 --> 00:20:11,334
It certainly is, Arthur.
The whole family together.

411
00:20:11,502 --> 00:20:13,336
How about a toast, Malcolm?

412
00:20:13,504 --> 00:20:14,838
Oh! Um...

413
00:20:15,047 --> 00:20:18,592
Well, uh, here's to me doing
an even better job next year.

414
00:20:18,801 --> 00:20:20,218
MRS. SANTA: Next year.
ARTHUR: But you're

415
00:20:20,386 --> 00:20:23,430
already perfect, Dad.
Ha! That turkey did more than him.

416
00:20:23,598 --> 00:20:24,890
Ha, ha! Aah!

417
00:20:25,308 --> 00:20:27,225
SANTA:
You wouldn't understand, Father.

418
00:20:27,435 --> 00:20:30,562
I've rather moved things on
since your day. Eh, Steve?

419
00:20:31,647 --> 00:20:35,483
Forget Techno Tommy. He's texting
on his calculator after another job.

420
00:20:35,651 --> 00:20:36,610
It's a Handheld

421
00:20:36,819 --> 00:20:39,946
Operational and Homing Organizer.
The HOHO 3000.

422
00:20:40,948 --> 00:20:42,616
I'm enacting mission closure.

423
00:20:42,783 --> 00:20:45,118
Whoopee-doo.
Aren't you the fancy nancy?

424
00:20:45,286 --> 00:20:46,912
Don't matter what you come up with.

425
00:20:47,079 --> 00:20:51,207
You may be next in line, but you'll never
get to be Santa unless you knock him off.

426
00:20:51,918 --> 00:20:53,209
(♪♪♪)

427
00:20:53,377 --> 00:20:54,461
ARTHUR:
Um...

428
00:20:54,670 --> 00:20:56,004
I've got you all a present.

429
00:20:56,213 --> 00:21:00,926
After all the hard work, I wanted
everyone to have some Christmas fun.

430
00:21:01,093 --> 00:21:02,677
Ta-da!

431
00:21:12,688 --> 00:21:14,189
(BICYCLE BELL RINGS)

432
00:21:18,319 --> 00:21:19,945
(GRUNTING)

433
00:21:20,279 --> 00:21:21,446
(GASPS)

434
00:21:22,198 --> 00:21:25,158
GRANDSANTA: I'm Santa!
STEVE: No, no, I'm Santa. It's ridiculous.

435
00:21:25,326 --> 00:21:28,995
You just took the piece out of my hand.
Well, I am actually Santa

436
00:21:29,163 --> 00:21:30,705
so I think I should have it.

437
00:21:30,873 --> 00:21:33,667
Yes. You're the nonexecutive figurehead.
SANTA: Exactly.

438
00:21:33,834 --> 00:21:34,960
Figurehead.
GRANDSANTA: It means

439
00:21:35,127 --> 00:21:37,253
a fatty with a beard who fits the suit.

440
00:21:37,964 --> 00:21:39,464
The other pieces are good too.

441
00:21:39,632 --> 00:21:41,675
Or I can make extra Santas
for everyone.

442
00:21:42,760 --> 00:21:44,386
Why don't you be the candle, Steve?

443
00:21:44,804 --> 00:21:46,721
All those bright ideas, eh?

444
00:21:46,889 --> 00:21:50,266
Fine. I'm the candle,
Arthur's the turkey

445
00:21:50,434 --> 00:21:53,937
and you, Father,
are, of course, Santa.

446
00:21:54,105 --> 00:21:56,523
Grandsanta, you can be
this charming relic.

447
00:21:56,691 --> 00:21:58,608
"Relic"? "Relic"?

448
00:21:58,776 --> 00:22:01,361
I did the whole of Christmas
in one of these, Arthur.

449
00:22:01,529 --> 00:22:04,823
Oh, yes. I didn't need
a trillion elves in bleepy hats.

450
00:22:04,991 --> 00:22:06,032
We don't fly about

451
00:22:06,200 --> 00:22:08,910
throwing lead-painted toys
down chimneys anymore.

452
00:22:09,078 --> 00:22:10,412
That space sends you back

453
00:22:10,579 --> 00:22:13,373
to Lapland.
Malcolm, where did you get those?

454
00:22:13,541 --> 00:22:16,084
Just moving things along.
Do I win?

455
00:22:16,252 --> 00:22:17,794
Cheats, the pair of you!

456
00:22:17,962 --> 00:22:19,129
ARTHUR:
Mum, are you okay?

457
00:22:19,296 --> 00:22:23,216
Polar bear, dear. Attacked me on the ice.
Good I did that online survival course

458
00:22:23,384 --> 00:22:25,969
or there'd be one less for turkey.
GRANDSANTA: Christmas has

459
00:22:26,137 --> 00:22:29,639
gone right down the rodney hole.
You're a postman with a spaceship.

460
00:22:30,433 --> 00:22:35,311
My S-1 festivized the world
at 1860 times the speed of sound.

461
00:22:35,479 --> 00:22:38,023
Christmas 1941, World War II,

462
00:22:38,190 --> 00:22:40,900
did the whole thing with
six reindeer and a drunken elf!

463
00:22:41,068 --> 00:22:42,610
I was shot at, Arthur.

464
00:22:42,778 --> 00:22:45,030
Took 12 direct hits.
Lost three reindeer.

465
00:22:45,197 --> 00:22:45,864
ARTHUR:
What happened

466
00:22:46,032 --> 00:22:48,283
to the elf?
Fell out of the sleigh over Lake Geneva.

467
00:22:48,451 --> 00:22:49,367
Never saw him again.

468
00:22:49,577 --> 00:22:50,702
Goodness. Now...

469
00:22:50,870 --> 00:22:54,456
"Christmas crackers.
Sing 'Silent Night' backwards."

470
00:22:54,623 --> 00:22:55,290
Who'd know that?

471
00:22:55,458 --> 00:22:56,166
(BELL RINGS)

472
00:22:56,375 --> 00:22:59,002
(SINGING GIBBERISH)

473
00:23:02,256 --> 00:23:03,506
I went on alone.

474
00:23:03,674 --> 00:23:06,634
I could still do it now, Arthur.
Just give me a go!

475
00:23:06,802 --> 00:23:09,012
In a heap of sticks.
"Heap of... "?

476
00:23:09,180 --> 00:23:10,388
Let me up and at him!

477
00:23:10,556 --> 00:23:12,974
I'll show you, Robby the Robot!

478
00:23:13,184 --> 00:23:15,143
Oh, dear. Oh, dear.

479
00:23:15,436 --> 00:23:16,394
I'll have that back.

480
00:23:16,562 --> 00:23:17,228
(HOHO CHIMES)

481
00:23:17,396 --> 00:23:18,313
GRANDSANTA: Would've won anyway.
What?

482
00:23:18,522 --> 00:23:20,231
Oh, yeah. Run away

483
00:23:20,399 --> 00:23:21,941
now you're losing!

484
00:23:24,737 --> 00:23:25,862
(♪♪♪)

485
00:23:26,030 --> 00:23:26,696
ARTHUR:
Steve!

486
00:23:26,864 --> 00:23:27,655
Whoa! Unh!

487
00:23:28,407 --> 00:23:29,324
Steve.

488
00:23:29,492 --> 00:23:30,658
Don't be upset. Look.

489
00:23:31,285 --> 00:23:31,951
You keep this.

490
00:23:33,329 --> 00:23:35,955
Then you can be Santa next time.

491
00:23:37,583 --> 00:23:38,917
That'll be you there, Steve.

492
00:23:40,002 --> 00:23:40,668
Next year,

493
00:23:40,836 --> 00:23:41,795
I bet.

494
00:23:42,171 --> 00:23:43,755
You'll be great.

495
00:23:45,257 --> 00:23:46,966
How many times, Arthur?

496
00:23:47,134 --> 00:23:51,179
It's the North Pole. Shut the doors.

497
00:23:52,098 --> 00:23:53,932
(DOOR SLAMS)

498
00:23:54,433 --> 00:23:55,225
BRYONY:
I secured the gift.

499
00:23:55,392 --> 00:23:57,477
Gift secured!
Just can't be.

500
00:23:57,645 --> 00:23:58,978
The system is foolproof.

501
00:23:59,146 --> 00:24:00,438
It has to be an error, sir.

502
00:24:00,606 --> 00:24:01,481
"Error"?

503
00:24:01,690 --> 00:24:03,775
I spotted the ribbon
glinting in the shadows.

504
00:24:04,193 --> 00:24:05,026
I am actually

505
00:24:05,194 --> 00:24:06,277
trained in wrapping.

506
00:24:06,445 --> 00:24:10,698
And I said to myself, "Bryony, the
wrapping looks okay. Thank goodness.

507
00:24:10,866 --> 00:24:13,201
But that present should not
be lying in the..."

508
00:24:13,410 --> 00:24:15,161
Thank you, soldier.
ARTHUR: Has someone

509
00:24:15,329 --> 00:24:17,288
got the wrong present?
That's awful.

510
00:24:17,456 --> 00:24:18,498
Whose is it?
No one

511
00:24:18,666 --> 00:24:19,582
gets the wrong

512
00:24:19,750 --> 00:24:21,376
present. 47785

513
00:24:21,544 --> 00:24:23,128
BXK.

514
00:24:23,295 --> 00:24:24,671
"Gift undelivered"?

515
00:24:24,839 --> 00:24:26,548
They got nothing?

516
00:24:26,757 --> 00:24:27,757
Mm-mm?
ARTHUR: A child's

517
00:24:27,925 --> 00:24:29,008
been missed!

518
00:24:29,176 --> 00:24:31,052
Not necessarily.

519
00:24:32,012 --> 00:24:33,138
(ARTHUR GASPS)

520
00:24:33,639 --> 00:24:35,265
A child's been missed!

521
00:24:35,474 --> 00:24:36,891
Wanna wake up the North Pole?

522
00:24:37,059 --> 00:24:38,518
Good idea. A child's

523
00:24:38,686 --> 00:24:39,894
been missed!
STEVE: Arthur!

524
00:24:40,396 --> 00:24:41,437
(SANTA YAWNS)

525
00:24:41,605 --> 00:24:42,647
Everything all right?

526
00:24:42,815 --> 00:24:44,190
There's been a glitch.

527
00:24:44,358 --> 00:24:46,734
"A glitch"? We've missed a child!

528
00:24:46,902 --> 00:24:49,028
Really? Dear, oh, dear.

529
00:24:49,196 --> 00:24:50,071
That's awful.

530
00:24:50,239 --> 00:24:51,823
How did you let it happen,
Steven?

531
00:24:51,991 --> 00:24:53,950
How did I...?
I thought it was your mission.

532
00:24:54,118 --> 00:24:56,411
No. This is your department.
What'll we do?

533
00:24:56,579 --> 00:24:59,372
We must, um... We must, uh...

534
00:24:59,999 --> 00:25:02,375
What must we do, Steven?
STEVE: There's nothing to do.

535
00:25:02,543 --> 00:25:04,169
The mission was a success.

536
00:25:04,336 --> 00:25:05,753
We can't leave a child
out of Christmas.

537
00:25:05,921 --> 00:25:06,671
(SIGHS)

538
00:25:06,839 --> 00:25:08,047
Sunrise at destination

539
00:25:08,215 --> 00:25:11,050
is 7:39 a.m. There's no way
to get there in time.

540
00:25:11,218 --> 00:25:12,719
Except, of course, for the S-1.

541
00:25:12,887 --> 00:25:14,929
The S-1 . Right-o.
STEVE: No! The S-1

542
00:25:15,097 --> 00:25:17,307
has just traveled 7 million miles.

543
00:25:17,474 --> 00:25:18,558
We could damage it.

544
00:25:18,726 --> 00:25:20,143
Oh, dear. Um...

545
00:25:20,352 --> 00:25:23,062
And risk the lives of the elves.
SANTA: Oh, my. No.

546
00:25:23,230 --> 00:25:24,522
I'll go, sir!

547
00:25:24,690 --> 00:25:25,940
Bryony Shelfley,

548
00:25:26,108 --> 00:25:28,109
Wrapping Division. Grade 3, sir.

549
00:25:28,319 --> 00:25:30,987
Who asked you?
I wasn't called up for field duty.

550
00:25:31,155 --> 00:25:33,281
I served out my mission
in Gift Wrap Support.

551
00:25:33,449 --> 00:25:36,868
I wrapped 264,000 presents
in three days, sir.

552
00:25:37,119 --> 00:25:38,745
If you want that bike delivered

553
00:25:38,913 --> 00:25:40,246
in a perfect state

554
00:25:40,414 --> 00:25:42,081
of enwrapment, then I'm your elf.

555
00:25:42,249 --> 00:25:43,625
STEVE:
No one is going.

556
00:25:43,792 --> 00:25:44,626
It's impossible.

557
00:25:44,793 --> 00:25:46,044
But this child...
PETER: It's a

558
00:25:46,212 --> 00:25:51,549
margin of error
of 0.00000001514834 percent,

559
00:25:53,886 --> 00:25:55,261
I mean, hello?

560
00:25:55,429 --> 00:25:56,512
Where's the champagne?

561
00:25:56,680 --> 00:26:01,351
My department has delivered
the most outstanding Christmas ever.

562
00:26:01,518 --> 00:26:03,144
Oh, uh... Ha, ha.

563
00:26:03,354 --> 00:26:05,021
Well done, us.

564
00:26:05,189 --> 00:26:07,482
But there's a child without a present.

565
00:26:07,691 --> 00:26:10,193
Arthur, Christmas is not a time
for emotion.

566
00:26:10,361 --> 00:26:13,446
We will get 47785BXK a present

567
00:26:13,614 --> 00:26:15,823
within the window of Christmas.

568
00:26:15,991 --> 00:26:18,493
We'll messenger the item.
It'll be there in five days.

569
00:26:18,661 --> 00:26:20,662
But that'll ruin the magic.

570
00:26:20,871 --> 00:26:22,372
(SCOFFS)

571
00:26:23,165 --> 00:26:26,459
If there was any way at all
to make the drop tonight.

572
00:26:26,669 --> 00:26:27,835
But it can't be done.

573
00:26:28,003 --> 00:26:29,045
SANTA:
Your brother

574
00:26:29,213 --> 00:26:31,547
knows about these things.

575
00:26:31,715 --> 00:26:36,094
I won't sleep easy after this,
Arthur, but there it is.

576
00:26:36,262 --> 00:26:37,512
Can't be done.

577
00:26:39,765 --> 00:26:41,599
Merry Christmas.

578
00:26:41,767 --> 00:26:44,060
(♪♪♪)

579
00:26:47,815 --> 00:26:49,857
Arthur! You're compromising

580
00:26:50,025 --> 00:26:51,651
the wrapping! That is not

581
00:26:51,819 --> 00:26:53,528
a toy! Well, it is,

582
00:26:53,696 --> 00:26:55,071
but, I mean, that's not...

583
00:26:55,281 --> 00:26:56,322
Arthur!

584
00:26:56,824 --> 00:26:58,533
ARTHUR:
Um... Oh, come on, come on,

585
00:26:58,701 --> 00:27:02,203
come on. Child 47785BXK,

586
00:27:02,454 --> 00:27:03,871
where are you?

587
00:27:04,498 --> 00:27:05,456
(GRUNTS)

588
00:27:05,708 --> 00:27:08,167
"Dear Santa, my friend
doesn't believe in you.

589
00:27:08,335 --> 00:27:11,379
For Christmas I'd like
a pink Twinkle Bike.

590
00:27:11,714 --> 00:27:13,631
Gwen Hines.

591
00:27:13,799 --> 00:27:18,678
23 Mimosa Avenue,
Trelew, Cornwall, England."

592
00:27:20,097 --> 00:27:22,098
(♪♪♪)

593
00:27:31,191 --> 00:27:32,692
(SIGHS)

594
00:27:42,953 --> 00:27:44,287
COMPUTER:
Lights out.

595
00:27:45,789 --> 00:27:48,291
This figurehead thingy:

596
00:27:48,834 --> 00:27:51,419
I'm not just a fatty with a suit,
am I?

597
00:27:51,587 --> 00:27:53,921
Of course not, dear.

598
00:27:54,089 --> 00:27:56,841
No. I'm Santa.

599
00:27:57,009 --> 00:27:58,343
Children

600
00:27:59,178 --> 00:28:01,054
rely on me.

601
00:28:01,221 --> 00:28:03,264
Oh. Ugh. Ha, ha.

602
00:28:03,474 --> 00:28:04,599
Here.

603
00:28:04,767 --> 00:28:08,561
Thank you. It's just checks
for the boys and cash for Father.

604
00:28:08,729 --> 00:28:10,063
Oh, Malcolm.

605
00:28:10,230 --> 00:28:13,858
It's the 2 billion other gifts, dear.
Christmas has become

606
00:28:14,026 --> 00:28:15,068
such a mad rush.

607
00:28:15,235 --> 00:28:17,820
Until you retire.

608
00:28:18,155 --> 00:28:19,739
Retire?

609
00:28:20,157 --> 00:28:22,658
Sit next to Father,
watching Steve on TV?

610
00:28:22,826 --> 00:28:23,576
(HOHO VIBRATES)

611
00:28:23,744 --> 00:28:25,703
MAN (ON HOHO): You are sitting
on a level one access HOHO.

612
00:28:25,871 --> 00:28:28,831
Please state your identity.
State your identity.

613
00:28:29,792 --> 00:28:31,793
Who would I be?

614
00:28:32,461 --> 00:28:35,129
You'd be my Malcolm, dear.

615
00:28:35,589 --> 00:28:37,757
And there's Arthur.

616
00:28:37,966 --> 00:28:39,509
Dear Arthur.

617
00:28:39,676 --> 00:28:41,928
What a puzzle.
This one's for me, dear.

618
00:28:42,513 --> 00:28:43,888
Oh!

619
00:28:44,848 --> 00:28:46,349
Happy Christmas, Margaret.

620
00:28:46,517 --> 00:28:47,558
Oh, thank you.

621
00:28:47,726 --> 00:28:50,770
I'm still very much up to the job,
you know. Ho, ho...

622
00:28:50,938 --> 00:28:52,146
(YAWNS)

623
00:28:53,607 --> 00:28:55,108
Good night, dear.

624
00:28:55,901 --> 00:28:58,027
Good night, Malcolm.

625
00:28:59,947 --> 00:29:01,489
(♪♪♪)

626
00:29:01,740 --> 00:29:03,950
It just can't be. It can't.

627
00:29:04,159 --> 00:29:06,327
It just can't be. It can't.
It just can't be! Oh!

628
00:29:06,495 --> 00:29:07,161
(GLASS BREAKS)

629
00:29:07,329 --> 00:29:07,995
GRANDSANTA:
What's all this

630
00:29:08,163 --> 00:29:09,163
ka doodle, young man?

631
00:29:09,331 --> 00:29:10,039
Grandsanta.

632
00:29:10,207 --> 00:29:10,998
This little girl.

633
00:29:11,166 --> 00:29:12,166
She's been missed!

634
00:29:12,334 --> 00:29:15,795
Ha! So much for your brother's
fancy-pants technology.

635
00:29:15,963 --> 00:29:18,673
Steve and Dad racked their brains
but said it's impossible.

636
00:29:18,841 --> 00:29:20,007
Is it, now?

637
00:29:20,175 --> 00:29:23,928
Missed a child. Dear, oh dear,
sends shivers down me shins.

638
00:29:24,096 --> 00:29:26,305
In two hours, she's gonna wake up

639
00:29:26,473 --> 00:29:29,976
tear downstairs,
search under the tree

640
00:29:30,477 --> 00:29:33,855
and the look on her face.

641
00:29:35,482 --> 00:29:37,650
But there's nothing there.

642
00:29:38,360 --> 00:29:41,612
She won't understand. She'll think
she's the one kid in the world

643
00:29:41,780 --> 00:29:44,323
that Santa doesn't care about.

644
00:29:44,658 --> 00:29:46,367
She'll feel so...

645
00:29:47,536 --> 00:29:48,995
left out.

646
00:29:50,289 --> 00:29:52,081
(♪♪♪)

647
00:29:52,291 --> 00:29:55,168
On Christmas night, he comes.

648
00:29:55,335 --> 00:29:58,004
Gwen can't not have a present
from Santa.

649
00:29:58,172 --> 00:30:01,007
Do you know, Arthur, there is a way.

650
00:30:01,175 --> 00:30:02,800
It's impossible.

651
00:30:03,010 --> 00:30:06,387
They used to say it was impossible
to teach women to read.

652
00:30:06,555 --> 00:30:08,347
Follow me.

653
00:30:10,559 --> 00:30:12,560
(♪♪♪)

654
00:30:37,211 --> 00:30:38,211
(GASPS)

655
00:30:38,420 --> 00:30:39,879
(♪♪♪)

656
00:30:41,381 --> 00:30:44,467
It's... It's the actual sleigh.

657
00:30:44,635 --> 00:30:46,385
Hello, Evie.

658
00:30:46,553 --> 00:30:48,221
I thought it was scrapped
years ago.

659
00:30:48,388 --> 00:30:50,139
So did everyone else.

660
00:30:50,349 --> 00:30:51,224
Can I...?

661
00:30:51,391 --> 00:30:52,433
(GASPS)

662
00:30:52,601 --> 00:30:57,563
Icelandic birch. Arctic balsa.
Built in 1845.

663
00:30:57,731 --> 00:31:02,401
Able to reach 50,000 miles per hour
at a height of 40,000 feet.

664
00:31:02,569 --> 00:31:04,612
GRANDSANTA:
Over here, you string of tinsel.

665
00:31:05,531 --> 00:31:06,572
Got it.

666
00:31:06,907 --> 00:31:08,407
"Potash of carboniloroxy

667
00:31:08,825 --> 00:31:09,992
amilocitrate."

668
00:31:10,160 --> 00:31:10,826
(GASPS)

669
00:31:11,578 --> 00:31:12,870
Magic dust.

670
00:31:13,080 --> 00:31:15,831
Mined from the aurora borealis.

671
00:31:16,458 --> 00:31:20,628
But she doesn't still go?

672
00:31:20,796 --> 00:31:22,421
Ha.

673
00:31:24,841 --> 00:31:26,384
Not just a hobby, Arthur.

674
00:31:27,386 --> 00:31:30,972
Great-great-grandchildren
of the original eight.

675
00:31:31,181 --> 00:31:33,182
(MUFFLED TOOT)

676
00:31:37,813 --> 00:31:39,146
(SOUNDS)

677
00:31:39,815 --> 00:31:40,648
Dasher.

678
00:31:42,693 --> 00:31:43,651
Wow. Heh.

679
00:31:43,860 --> 00:31:45,194
Dancer.

680
00:31:45,445 --> 00:31:46,862
Prancer.

681
00:31:47,030 --> 00:31:52,076
Uh... What are the others called? I could
never ruddy remember. Bambi? John.

682
00:31:52,244 --> 00:31:53,244
You there, with the

683
00:31:53,412 --> 00:31:54,579
white ear. And you.

684
00:31:54,746 --> 00:31:57,623
And... Not you, you bag of fleas.
Uh... Uh...

685
00:31:57,916 --> 00:31:58,583
Arthur?

686
00:31:58,750 --> 00:31:59,500
(GRUNTS)

687
00:31:59,793 --> 00:32:01,502
I'm not really good with big animals.

688
00:32:01,670 --> 00:32:02,712
Piffle!
Heh-heh-heh.

689
00:32:02,879 --> 00:32:05,673
Don't get bit, mind.
They can smell fear.

690
00:32:05,882 --> 00:32:08,593
Let's hitch them up.
Oh, Grandsanta.

691
00:32:08,760 --> 00:32:11,304
Uh, uh... Excuse me.
Unh!

692
00:32:12,014 --> 00:32:13,973
You can go to Gwen!

693
00:32:14,141 --> 00:32:18,144
On the old sleigh, with the reindeer
and the magic dust and everything!

694
00:32:18,312 --> 00:32:19,520
It's a miracle.

695
00:32:20,022 --> 00:32:21,606
You're coming too, lad.

696
00:32:22,441 --> 00:32:23,733
Me?

697
00:32:23,900 --> 00:32:27,194
On that? Up there? Pulled by them?

698
00:32:27,362 --> 00:32:28,029
(SNORTS)

699
00:32:28,572 --> 00:32:29,989
No. No way.

700
00:32:30,157 --> 00:32:34,619
I'm 136. I can't do it on me own,
I need an elf.

701
00:32:34,786 --> 00:32:39,415
I can't fly a sleigh. I can't even
ride a bike without stabilizers.

702
00:32:39,583 --> 00:32:41,125
I know, let's wake Steve. He'll...

703
00:32:41,293 --> 00:32:42,335
No.

704
00:32:42,544 --> 00:32:47,256
He's a worrier, Arthur. What if
he stops us? Gwen's forgotten.

705
00:32:47,674 --> 00:32:49,759
You really care.
Well, of course

706
00:32:49,926 --> 00:32:53,471
I do. I was Santa too.

707
00:32:54,389 --> 00:32:56,515
Think of your dad

708
00:32:56,683 --> 00:32:58,309
lying awake, chewing his

709
00:32:58,477 --> 00:33:01,020
beard off with worry over this girl.

710
00:33:01,188 --> 00:33:03,689
Don't you want to help for once?

711
00:33:03,857 --> 00:33:06,067
Make him proud?

712
00:33:06,401 --> 00:33:07,985
I can't.

713
00:33:08,445 --> 00:33:11,113
I just... I can't.

714
00:33:11,740 --> 00:33:13,658
No, I can't.

715
00:33:20,916 --> 00:33:22,541
(♪♪♪)

716
00:33:30,133 --> 00:33:31,258
Ready?!

717
00:33:31,968 --> 00:33:34,637
ARTHUR: No! You promise
Ha, ha!

718
00:33:34,805 --> 00:33:36,430
Not to go too fast?
Whoo-hoo!

719
00:33:37,015 --> 00:33:40,017
ARTHUR:
Or high. Or bumpy.

720
00:33:40,185 --> 00:33:42,478
I get travel sick.
I'm allergic to snow.

721
00:33:42,646 --> 00:33:45,398
Ye baubles.
And you a son of Santa?

722
00:33:47,109 --> 00:33:47,983
(ARTHUR YELLS THEN SOBS)

723
00:33:50,112 --> 00:33:52,697
Wait! My slippers!
They're not for outdoor use!

724
00:33:55,992 --> 00:33:57,660
GRANDSANTA:
Dash! Dash!

725
00:33:57,911 --> 00:33:58,953
Dash!

726
00:33:59,121 --> 00:34:00,162
(♪♪♪)

727
00:34:03,208 --> 00:34:04,583
(GRANDSANTA LAUGHS)

728
00:34:05,502 --> 00:34:06,711
See?

729
00:34:06,878 --> 00:34:09,338
Who's Santa now? Ho, ho, ho!

730
00:34:09,506 --> 00:34:11,716
Whoo-hoo!

731
00:34:14,845 --> 00:34:17,346
ARTHUR:
Aah! Put me down!

732
00:34:17,514 --> 00:34:19,390
What's the matter, boy?
I'm having

733
00:34:19,558 --> 00:34:20,933
a heart attack.

734
00:34:21,101 --> 00:34:21,934
(RETCHES)

735
00:34:22,144 --> 00:34:22,893
(GRANDSANTA LAUGHS)

736
00:34:23,770 --> 00:34:25,771
They've never
flown before.

737
00:34:25,981 --> 00:34:27,857
Just gotta break them in.

738
00:34:28,024 --> 00:34:29,358
Now.

739
00:34:29,526 --> 00:34:30,776
(WHISTLES)

740
00:34:35,282 --> 00:34:36,741
Come away!

741
00:34:36,908 --> 00:34:38,367
Dash away!

742
00:34:51,757 --> 00:34:53,048
Look, Arthur.

743
00:34:53,800 --> 00:34:55,050
All those stars.

744
00:34:55,218 --> 00:34:56,761
We're one of them now.

745
00:34:56,928 --> 00:34:59,847
A shooting star!
Whoa!

746
00:35:01,641 --> 00:35:04,101
Stuck that there for your dad
when he was a boy.

747
00:35:04,269 --> 00:35:06,353
Dad? What, he sat here?

748
00:35:06,521 --> 00:35:07,772
So did I.

749
00:35:07,939 --> 00:35:11,317
Every young heir to the Pole
gets took out by his father.

750
00:35:11,485 --> 00:35:14,487
Right back to Saint Nick.

751
00:35:16,031 --> 00:35:17,865
We Clauses used to be
the only men

752
00:35:18,033 --> 00:35:20,576
in the world who could fly,
Arthur,

753
00:35:20,744 --> 00:35:22,369
and see all this.

754
00:35:22,537 --> 00:35:27,875
It was a gift, a great big ball
wrapped in oceans and mountains.

755
00:35:28,502 --> 00:35:31,879
I remember the look on
your father's face when he saw it.

756
00:35:33,757 --> 00:35:34,423
Yah!

757
00:36:09,376 --> 00:36:10,709
Fish!

758
00:36:11,628 --> 00:36:13,337
With horns!

759
00:36:13,505 --> 00:36:14,338
(GRANDSANTA LAUGHS)

760
00:36:14,923 --> 00:36:16,382
Want to help me make a snowman?

761
00:36:16,550 --> 00:36:17,299
Yah!
No! Not ye...!

762
00:36:18,844 --> 00:36:21,262
Aah! Aah!
Oh, where's the seat belt?

763
00:36:23,557 --> 00:36:24,807
(ARTHUR GRUNTING)

764
00:36:28,770 --> 00:36:29,520
Whoa!

765
00:36:30,856 --> 00:36:31,939
Whoo-hoo!

766
00:36:32,983 --> 00:36:34,608
(GRUNTS)

767
00:36:34,818 --> 00:36:37,653
Could Dad do that? Did he
make a snowman for Steve?

768
00:36:37,821 --> 00:36:39,196
Robot Roy?

769
00:36:39,364 --> 00:36:40,698
Ha! I should cocoa.

770
00:36:40,866 --> 00:36:43,701
The next Santa, and he's
never even sat in a sleigh.

771
00:36:43,869 --> 00:36:45,035
Oi!

772
00:36:46,830 --> 00:36:49,498
Is that...?
The map of the Clauses.

773
00:36:49,749 --> 00:36:52,459
Used every Christmas night
in history.

774
00:36:52,752 --> 00:36:55,254
Whatever your brother says,
Arthur,

775
00:36:55,422 --> 00:36:58,090
it's the same old world.

776
00:36:59,759 --> 00:37:00,926
(BOTH SCREAM)

777
00:37:03,763 --> 00:37:04,555
ARTHUR:
What is it?!

778
00:37:04,723 --> 00:37:05,806
No idea. I've never

779
00:37:05,974 --> 00:37:07,016
seen it before.

780
00:37:07,183 --> 00:37:08,601
ARTHUR: It's a city!
A new one?

781
00:37:08,768 --> 00:37:10,477
Ruddy cheek.
They're always putting

782
00:37:10,645 --> 00:37:11,312
these things up.

783
00:37:12,022 --> 00:37:13,480
I remember the first time

784
00:37:13,648 --> 00:37:15,649
I ran into Chicago.
Ha, ha.

785
00:37:15,817 --> 00:37:17,109
Chicago wasn't on the map?

786
00:37:17,277 --> 00:37:17,985
GRANDSANTA:
Whoa!

787
00:37:19,070 --> 00:37:20,029
Now, where are we?

788
00:37:21,197 --> 00:37:22,239
Ah. Here we are, see?

789
00:37:22,949 --> 00:37:24,450
Oh, no, that's Peking.

790
00:37:24,951 --> 00:37:25,868
Ahead, there's a...!

791
00:37:26,494 --> 00:37:27,161
GRANDSANTA:
Whoa!

792
00:37:28,914 --> 00:37:29,830
ARTHUR:
They can see us.

793
00:37:30,874 --> 00:37:32,458
Well, pull the camouflage lever.

794
00:37:33,168 --> 00:37:34,335
Now, then, we'd better

795
00:37:34,502 --> 00:37:35,544
draw in a few

796
00:37:35,712 --> 00:37:36,921
sky scratchers. Just, uh...

797
00:37:37,839 --> 00:37:38,631
Not that one.

798
00:37:38,798 --> 00:37:41,842
That's a steam train, you ninny.

799
00:37:42,010 --> 00:37:42,676
ARTHUR:
Do this one.

800
00:37:44,137 --> 00:37:45,679
GRANDSANTA: So, what do
they call this place?

801
00:37:47,849 --> 00:37:49,558
"Toronto."

802
00:37:49,726 --> 00:37:50,976
Toronto's in Canada.

803
00:37:51,144 --> 00:37:53,312
The Santas always
come through Canada.

804
00:37:54,439 --> 00:37:55,856
Nobody lives here.

805
00:37:56,024 --> 00:37:56,941
It's nice and quiet.

806
00:37:59,027 --> 00:38:00,527
Till your brother came with

807
00:38:00,695 --> 00:38:03,572
his "You can't cut through Saigon,
there's a war" rubbish.

808
00:38:03,740 --> 00:38:05,240
Don't need him to tell me
what's ahead.

809
00:38:05,408 --> 00:38:06,492
I got eyes.
Grandsanta!

810
00:38:12,999 --> 00:38:13,999
Ye baubles, an elf.

811
00:38:14,167 --> 00:38:15,876
Bryony Shelfley. Oh!
There's

812
00:38:16,044 --> 00:38:17,753
a small trauma to your giftwrap,

813
00:38:17,921 --> 00:38:19,129
but I can fix it.

814
00:38:19,297 --> 00:38:20,923
A stowaway!
I can wrap anything,

815
00:38:21,091 --> 00:38:24,009
sir, with three bits of sticky tape.
Three!

816
00:38:24,177 --> 00:38:25,803
Good. Wrap yourself a parachute.

817
00:38:25,971 --> 00:38:26,804
Aah!
Grandsanta!

818
00:38:30,558 --> 00:38:32,559
BRYONY: Aah!
GRANDSANTA: Whoops.

819
00:38:36,731 --> 00:38:38,232
(RADAR BEEPING)

820
00:38:40,568 --> 00:38:42,611
Toronto. Present and correct.

821
00:38:42,779 --> 00:38:46,407
Not quite, sir. You've lost
one of the reindeer.

822
00:38:48,493 --> 00:38:49,952
(♪♪♪)

823
00:38:55,417 --> 00:38:56,250
Quantitative...

824
00:38:56,418 --> 00:38:57,126
(HOHO CHIMES)

825
00:38:57,419 --> 00:38:58,252
Hello?

826
00:38:58,420 --> 00:39:00,295
What elf?
PETER: Bryony Shelfley, sir.

827
00:39:00,463 --> 00:39:02,339
The crazy wrapping elf, you know?

828
00:39:02,507 --> 00:39:06,760
Security tracked her to Sector 19.
And we think Arthur was here.

829
00:39:06,928 --> 00:39:08,178
Arthur?

830
00:39:08,346 --> 00:39:10,180
Who else leaves the door open,
huh, sir?

831
00:39:10,807 --> 00:39:13,142
The old sleigh barn?
That was sealed up

832
00:39:13,309 --> 00:39:14,351
decades ago

833
00:39:14,519 --> 00:39:18,188
after that terrible night
Grandsanta sneaked out and...

834
00:39:18,898 --> 00:39:22,151
Thank goodness he's too old these days
to get into trouble.

835
00:39:22,902 --> 00:39:23,902
(ARTHUR GRUNTING)

836
00:39:24,070 --> 00:39:25,112
(THUDDING)

837
00:39:25,363 --> 00:39:28,115
Bash it with a brick, Arthur. Go on.

838
00:39:28,742 --> 00:39:30,075
ARTHUR:
It just won't...

839
00:39:30,618 --> 00:39:32,369
Grab its antlers and tug.

840
00:39:32,537 --> 00:39:36,123
I may just be a wrapping operative,
sir, but this contravenes.

841
00:39:36,291 --> 00:39:39,334
MAN (ON HOHO): Seventeen.
Specific mission regulations.

842
00:39:39,502 --> 00:39:41,962
I'm in charge here,
not Billy the Bureaucrat.

843
00:39:42,130 --> 00:39:43,130
ARTHUR:
It's stuck.

844
00:39:45,800 --> 00:39:46,925
GRANDSANTA:
Shh!

845
00:39:47,385 --> 00:39:48,052
Eighteen.

846
00:39:48,511 --> 00:39:50,554
Elf, wrap your head.
Sir!

847
00:39:50,722 --> 00:39:52,598
Come on, lad. You're as much use

848
00:39:52,766 --> 00:39:54,099
as a cheese chopstick.

849
00:39:55,268 --> 00:39:56,185
Got it!

850
00:39:56,352 --> 00:39:57,019
(GASPS)

851
00:39:57,187 --> 00:39:58,187
Oh, no.

852
00:39:58,646 --> 00:39:59,521
(BRYONY MUMBLING
INDISTINCTLY)

853
00:39:59,939 --> 00:40:02,274
Oh, my big Aunt Betty.

854
00:40:02,484 --> 00:40:04,443
It'll have to do. Pass it down.

855
00:40:04,611 --> 00:40:05,444
What?

856
00:40:05,612 --> 00:40:09,907
Permission to breathe, sir. I have about
nine seconds left before I black out.

857
00:40:10,408 --> 00:40:11,200
One breath.

858
00:40:11,367 --> 00:40:12,701
(GASPS)

859
00:40:13,453 --> 00:40:14,286
BRYONY:
Sir?

860
00:40:14,454 --> 00:40:16,580
I said one. Hurry up, Arthur.

861
00:40:18,374 --> 00:40:19,792
But don't we need a whole one?

862
00:40:19,959 --> 00:40:21,335
You know,

863
00:40:21,503 --> 00:40:22,920
to balance the sleigh?

864
00:40:23,129 --> 00:40:27,132
Oh, it won't balance the sleigh. No, no.
If anything, it'll slow us down.

865
00:40:27,342 --> 00:40:28,467
(BRYONY MUMBLING
INDISTINCTLY)

866
00:40:28,635 --> 00:40:30,385
So why are we taking it?

867
00:40:31,096 --> 00:40:35,390
It's for Gwen. Eight beautiful reindeer.
That's what she's dreaming of.

868
00:40:35,558 --> 00:40:37,684
The jingly bells, the sleigh on the roof.

869
00:40:37,894 --> 00:40:39,937
Yeah, but...
That's what the kids want,

870
00:40:40,105 --> 00:40:42,272
not some spaceship.

871
00:40:42,440 --> 00:40:44,691
We're giving her the star treatment.

872
00:40:44,859 --> 00:40:45,901
What now?

873
00:40:46,319 --> 00:40:48,403
We have a waker, sir.

874
00:40:48,571 --> 00:40:49,655
With a gun!

875
00:40:50,031 --> 00:40:50,697
(GUNSHOT)

876
00:40:51,199 --> 00:40:52,116
GRANDSANTA:
That's it, lad.

877
00:40:52,283 --> 00:40:53,075
You distract him!

878
00:40:53,243 --> 00:40:54,743
ARTHUR: Grandsanta!
MAN: Who's there?

879
00:40:55,411 --> 00:40:56,703
ARTHUR:
Uh... Uh... Uh...

880
00:40:57,831 --> 00:41:00,082
We come in peace.

881
00:41:00,291 --> 00:41:01,917
Our craft has to

882
00:41:02,085 --> 00:41:05,379
travel around the world
in less than an hour!

883
00:41:05,547 --> 00:41:06,338
(GUNSHOT)

884
00:41:09,008 --> 00:41:11,051
We need a sign for our slei...

885
00:41:12,137 --> 00:41:13,011
Craft.

886
00:41:14,430 --> 00:41:16,014
Sorry I can't pay you. Where I

887
00:41:16,182 --> 00:41:17,224
come from, we don't have

888
00:41:17,392 --> 00:41:18,976
money!

889
00:41:21,938 --> 00:41:23,397
(♪♪♪)

890
00:41:30,780 --> 00:41:32,865
GRANDSANTA:
Christmas 1923,

891
00:41:33,032 --> 00:41:36,743
had a heart attack at the reins.
Left ventricle popped out me mouth.

892
00:41:36,911 --> 00:41:38,662
Pushed it back down and carried on!

893
00:41:38,830 --> 00:41:40,664
(GRANDSANTA &
ARTHUR CHUCKLE)

894
00:41:41,040 --> 00:41:44,418
It's big, isn't it, the Atlantic?
Think we should stop and ask someone?

895
00:41:44,919 --> 00:41:47,254
Pishywibble, we're nearly there!

896
00:41:47,422 --> 00:41:50,424
See, I take the North Star there

897
00:41:50,592 --> 00:41:53,927
as a fixed point.
Then I plot my bearings from, um...

898
00:41:54,095 --> 00:41:55,137
That's a plane, sir.

899
00:41:55,305 --> 00:41:57,806
Insubordination.
I'll have you harpooned, elf.

900
00:41:58,016 --> 00:42:00,142
ARTHUR: I thought it would
be chillier near England.

901
00:42:00,310 --> 00:42:01,560
GRANDSANTA:
Globular warming.

902
00:42:02,145 --> 00:42:06,148
Ha! Land ahoy! There it is.
Told you!

903
00:42:09,068 --> 00:42:10,068
ARTHUR:
Whoa, whoa, whoa!

904
00:42:10,945 --> 00:42:12,738
GRANDSANTA: There you are. Down.
ARTHUR: Watch that rock!

905
00:42:12,989 --> 00:42:14,031
GRANDSANTA:
There you go.

906
00:42:14,282 --> 00:42:15,616
Ah.

907
00:42:16,451 --> 00:42:17,743
(DASHER WHIMPERS)

908
00:42:18,870 --> 00:42:20,162
ARTHUR:
Wow.

909
00:42:20,705 --> 00:42:21,955
England.

910
00:42:22,165 --> 00:42:22,956
(YELLS)

911
00:42:23,541 --> 00:42:26,460
Maybe we pulled to the right a bit.
We're a reindeer short.

912
00:42:26,628 --> 00:42:27,711
France.

913
00:42:28,880 --> 00:42:30,422
(SPEAKING IN FRENCH)

914
00:42:30,590 --> 00:42:31,506
(ELEPHANT TRUMPETS)

915
00:42:32,717 --> 00:42:34,635
They have elephants in France?

916
00:42:34,844 --> 00:42:38,472
The odd stray. They breed
in the drains. This way.

917
00:42:39,307 --> 00:42:41,516
(GRANDSANTA SPEAKING
IN SPANISH)

918
00:42:46,231 --> 00:42:47,856
Paris Zoo.

919
00:42:49,984 --> 00:42:50,651
BRYONY:
Then this is

920
00:42:50,818 --> 00:42:52,110
where they keep the lions!

921
00:42:53,863 --> 00:42:54,696
GRANDSANTA:
They won't eat me.

922
00:42:55,490 --> 00:42:57,074
I'm Santa!

923
00:42:57,242 --> 00:42:58,116
Lie down!

924
00:42:58,284 --> 00:42:58,951
Oh, right.

925
00:42:59,118 --> 00:43:00,160
Call the keeper!

926
00:43:00,328 --> 00:43:01,078
ARTHUR:
How old is this?

927
00:43:01,246 --> 00:43:02,037
"Atlantis"?

928
00:43:02,205 --> 00:43:03,830
"Here be cannibals"?

929
00:43:03,998 --> 00:43:05,123
Watch out for cannibals.

930
00:43:05,291 --> 00:43:05,958
(ALL YELL)

931
00:43:06,125 --> 00:43:07,417
(BRYONY WHIMPERS)

932
00:43:07,627 --> 00:43:09,169
This isn't France, is it?

933
00:43:09,379 --> 00:43:10,963
Technically, it's known as Africa.
Aah!

934
00:43:11,130 --> 00:43:13,215
Serengeti National Park, Tanzania.

935
00:43:13,383 --> 00:43:14,967
How can you possibly be sure?

936
00:43:15,134 --> 00:43:16,218
The GPS on my HOHO.

937
00:43:16,844 --> 00:43:17,511
Take her!

938
00:43:17,887 --> 00:43:18,637
Take the elf!

939
00:43:18,805 --> 00:43:20,305
GPS? Why didn't you say?

940
00:43:20,473 --> 00:43:24,726
I'm a wrapping elf. I don't navigate,
I wrap. I use it to store pictures of bows.

941
00:43:24,894 --> 00:43:29,273
She's right. You brought us to Africa!
I've seen it on a stamp.

942
00:43:29,440 --> 00:43:30,315
(ROARING)

943
00:43:30,900 --> 00:43:33,986
I'm too young to die, Arthur.

944
00:43:34,153 --> 00:43:36,029
Do something. Arthur!

945
00:43:41,619 --> 00:43:45,122
STEVE: The old sleigh.
What is happening here?

946
00:43:45,290 --> 00:43:47,916
Was supposed to be chopped up
for firewood decades ago.

947
00:43:48,084 --> 00:43:49,001
How did that devious...?

948
00:43:49,168 --> 00:43:50,085
Old people, sir.

949
00:43:50,253 --> 00:43:52,713
Shall I get you your stress ball?

950
00:43:52,880 --> 00:43:53,922
We have finer

951
00:43:54,090 --> 00:43:56,174
comms than the Pentagon,
and you say

952
00:43:56,342 --> 00:43:58,677
we can't contact him
except by some ancient...

953
00:43:58,845 --> 00:44:00,595
ERNIE:
Toodle-loo!

954
00:44:01,139 --> 00:44:02,848
Here comes the cavalry!

955
00:44:03,016 --> 00:44:04,891
Ernie Clicker, sir.

956
00:44:05,059 --> 00:44:10,105
Head of Polar Communications
for 46 missions!

957
00:44:10,273 --> 00:44:12,316
Oh, crikey blikey,

958
00:44:12,483 --> 00:44:15,235
me and your granddad
saw some times!

959
00:44:15,403 --> 00:44:19,072
I remember once...
Wow, must catch up soon. Now...

960
00:44:19,615 --> 00:44:23,827
Oh, you're in a hurry. I can tell.

961
00:44:25,288 --> 00:44:26,163
(BOTH COUGH)

962
00:44:27,832 --> 00:44:30,542
Oh, this is ridiculous.
Could we hurry this?

963
00:44:30,710 --> 00:44:34,504
Ooh... You can't rush the Signalator.

964
00:44:34,672 --> 00:44:36,548
Got to play her gentle.

965
00:44:37,800 --> 00:44:40,552
So, what do you wish to say?

966
00:44:40,762 --> 00:44:45,182
I wouldn't worry. It's not like
they're facing man-eating lions.

967
00:44:45,641 --> 00:44:46,308
(LIONS ROARING)

968
00:44:48,019 --> 00:44:53,357
♪ Silent night
Holy night ♪

969
00:44:54,317 --> 00:44:56,818
♪ All is calm ♪

970
00:44:56,986 --> 00:44:57,652
(SCREAMS)

971
00:44:58,154 --> 00:44:59,905
♪ All is ♪

972
00:45:00,073 --> 00:45:01,156
♪ Bright ♪

973
00:45:01,449 --> 00:45:03,158
♪ I realize ♪

974
00:45:03,326 --> 00:45:05,619
♪ This is mental
But it's all ♪

975
00:45:06,371 --> 00:45:07,829
♪ That I know ♪

976
00:45:09,040 --> 00:45:11,249
♪ It's Christmas ♪

977
00:45:11,417 --> 00:45:12,793
♪ Nice kitty ♪

978
00:45:12,960 --> 00:45:15,587
♪ So please let us go ♪

979
00:45:16,756 --> 00:45:18,715
ALL:
♪ Sleep in ♪

980
00:45:18,883 --> 00:45:23,428
♪ Heavenly peace ♪

981
00:45:24,722 --> 00:45:26,890
♪ Sleep in ♪

982
00:45:27,058 --> 00:45:30,268
♪ Heavenly peace ♪ ♪

983
00:45:31,729 --> 00:45:33,229
(DEVICE CLATTERS
AND RINGS)

984
00:45:34,357 --> 00:45:35,899
(LIONS GROWL
THEN ROAR)

985
00:45:37,110 --> 00:45:38,110
(ALL SCREAMING)

986
00:45:41,239 --> 00:45:41,905
GRANDSANTA:
Dash!

987
00:45:43,658 --> 00:45:45,075
(ALL SCREAM)

988
00:45:46,285 --> 00:45:47,953
Something's coming through.

989
00:45:48,121 --> 00:45:49,538
What does it say?

990
00:45:49,705 --> 00:45:51,998
(SPEAKS GIBBERISH)

991
00:45:53,626 --> 00:45:56,044
GRANDSANTA:
Get off! No!

992
00:45:56,212 --> 00:45:57,754
That's me Evie, you mangy moron!

993
00:45:59,924 --> 00:46:00,590
ARTHUR:
No!

994
00:46:00,758 --> 00:46:01,800
That's Gwen's gift!

995
00:46:01,968 --> 00:46:02,634
Hi-yah!

996
00:46:03,302 --> 00:46:06,179
Only children get to tear the wrapping.

997
00:46:06,347 --> 00:46:07,180
Bryony?

998
00:46:07,432 --> 00:46:10,142
Automatic tape guns!
GRANDSANTA: Down, doggy!

999
00:46:10,309 --> 00:46:11,393
Bad doggy!

1000
00:46:11,561 --> 00:46:13,145
Laser-guided scissors!

1001
00:46:14,689 --> 00:46:16,231
Oh, no, no!

1002
00:46:17,817 --> 00:46:19,526
Standard-issue giftwrap!

1003
00:46:19,735 --> 00:46:20,485
No time for a bow!

1004
00:46:20,653 --> 00:46:22,446
There's always time for a bow!

1005
00:46:22,947 --> 00:46:23,613
ARTHUR:
Oh!

1006
00:46:23,865 --> 00:46:25,365
GRANDSANTA:
I can't look.

1007
00:46:26,701 --> 00:46:27,534
Not that knob!

1008
00:46:27,994 --> 00:46:28,660
Good night!

1009
00:46:28,828 --> 00:46:29,995
Oh, no!

1010
00:46:31,247 --> 00:46:32,247
ARTHUR:
Something else!

1011
00:46:32,707 --> 00:46:35,083
No, leave it! Don't...
Aah.

1012
00:46:36,210 --> 00:46:37,961
My camera!

1013
00:46:38,254 --> 00:46:38,920
(SCREAMS)

1014
00:46:41,340 --> 00:46:42,257
(ROARS THEN
CATERWAULS)

1015
00:46:45,178 --> 00:46:45,844
(ALL SCREAMING)

1016
00:46:51,392 --> 00:46:52,392
Wait! Look!

1017
00:46:55,021 --> 00:46:56,146
Oi!

1018
00:47:12,163 --> 00:47:13,371
(ELEPHANT TRUMPETING)

1019
00:47:13,539 --> 00:47:14,831
(LION ROARS)

1020
00:47:17,293 --> 00:47:18,835
BRYONY:
Whoo-hoo-hoo!

1021
00:47:19,003 --> 00:47:20,045
Wow.

1022
00:47:28,971 --> 00:47:29,679
Whoa!

1023
00:47:30,139 --> 00:47:31,264
GRANDSANTA:
What's so funny?

1024
00:47:31,641 --> 00:47:33,433
Look what they've done to my Evie.

1025
00:47:34,227 --> 00:47:36,603
And the map.
But it's okay.

1026
00:47:36,771 --> 00:47:37,854
We've got this. Look!

1027
00:47:38,022 --> 00:47:40,524
Mimosa Avenue, Trelew.

1028
00:47:40,691 --> 00:47:42,400
MAN (ON HOHO):
Proceed to the highlighted route.

1029
00:47:42,568 --> 00:47:44,486
What's the point? Look at us.

1030
00:47:44,654 --> 00:47:46,488
And my camera, totally banjaxed.

1031
00:47:46,656 --> 00:47:48,740
How do I get my picture now?

1032
00:47:48,950 --> 00:47:50,033
What picture?

1033
00:47:50,201 --> 00:47:52,702
The sleigh on the roof,
the eight beautiful reindeer

1034
00:47:52,870 --> 00:47:54,120
and Santa... Me!

1035
00:47:54,288 --> 00:47:56,039
...going down the "chimbley."

1036
00:47:56,541 --> 00:47:58,375
That's what I wanted them to see.

1037
00:47:58,543 --> 00:48:02,128
They missed the kid, but I got there.
My way.

1038
00:48:03,756 --> 00:48:07,676
That's why you came. Not for Gwen.

1039
00:48:09,762 --> 00:48:12,764
1368 miles, then slight left.

1040
00:48:14,559 --> 00:48:16,017
For the love of Lulu,

1041
00:48:16,185 --> 00:48:18,645
bossed about by Tinpot Tom.

1042
00:48:19,063 --> 00:48:19,729
Dash!

1043
00:48:21,399 --> 00:48:23,108
Try them again.
Keep trying.

1044
00:48:23,276 --> 00:48:25,777
All this for one child.
In 600 million.

1045
00:48:25,945 --> 00:48:27,946
We should turn her off a mo.

1046
00:48:28,114 --> 00:48:29,823
Don't worry, sir. Children are

1047
00:48:29,991 --> 00:48:32,200
stupid. Either it won't know
it got missed

1048
00:48:32,368 --> 00:48:34,995
or it'll think it's been bad.
It's a win-win.

1049
00:48:35,162 --> 00:48:36,955
You missed one?

1050
00:48:37,123 --> 00:48:38,456
A nipper? Cor!

1051
00:48:38,624 --> 00:48:42,460
Ha, ha. What's all this here for
if you miss one?

1052
00:48:42,670 --> 00:48:44,170
Could you please type faster?

1053
00:48:44,880 --> 00:48:46,256
All right.

1054
00:48:47,717 --> 00:48:49,301
COMPUTER:
Systems critical.

1055
00:48:49,468 --> 00:48:50,302
Lead in Christmas.

1056
00:48:57,226 --> 00:48:58,602
ERNIE:
Oops-a-daisy.

1057
00:48:58,769 --> 00:49:00,061
STEVE:
Peter,

1058
00:49:00,605 --> 00:49:02,314
let go of my hand, please.

1059
00:49:02,481 --> 00:49:04,274
PETER:
Yes, sir. Sorry, sir.

1060
00:49:05,151 --> 00:49:06,818
And get me IT.

1061
00:49:07,778 --> 00:49:08,612
(♪♪♪)

1062
00:49:10,865 --> 00:49:12,365
MAN (ON HOHO):
Descend 1000 feet.

1063
00:49:14,994 --> 00:49:17,871
You are at your destination.
ARTHUR: Yes!

1064
00:49:18,039 --> 00:49:19,706
We did it, we did it!
We did it! Hooray!

1065
00:49:20,666 --> 00:49:21,916
Whoopee-doo.

1066
00:49:22,710 --> 00:49:23,543
In 100 yards,

1067
00:49:23,878 --> 00:49:24,711
turn left.

1068
00:49:25,379 --> 00:49:28,423
Straight ahead, left, right.
You are at your client's dwelling.

1069
00:49:28,591 --> 00:49:29,424
Whoa, whoa!
Hey, steady!

1070
00:49:35,806 --> 00:49:38,016
We made it. I survived!

1071
00:49:39,518 --> 00:49:43,480
I'll walk home, I'll get a boat,
but I am never getting back

1072
00:49:43,648 --> 00:49:47,400
in that crazy flying death trap
ever again!

1073
00:49:47,568 --> 00:49:48,902
(BICYCLE BELL RINGS)

1074
00:49:49,236 --> 00:49:49,903
GRANDSANTA:
Go on.

1075
00:49:50,321 --> 00:49:51,696
Get it over.

1076
00:49:51,864 --> 00:49:53,156
I want my bed.

1077
00:49:54,617 --> 00:49:55,909
What, you're not coming?

1078
00:49:59,080 --> 00:50:00,747
You have to deliver the present.

1079
00:50:01,374 --> 00:50:03,124
You've got your special coat on.

1080
00:50:03,334 --> 00:50:04,793
You're our Santa.

1081
00:50:04,960 --> 00:50:08,046
I said me and Evie could get here,
and we did.

1082
00:50:08,214 --> 00:50:10,548
The rest is just elf work.

1083
00:50:10,716 --> 00:50:12,801
Go on, Festive Freddie,

1084
00:50:12,968 --> 00:50:14,302
sling your hook.

1085
00:50:17,973 --> 00:50:20,350
It doesn't matter
how we got here.

1086
00:50:20,518 --> 00:50:25,063
The sleigh on the roof,
the jingle bells, the eight reindeer.

1087
00:50:25,314 --> 00:50:27,857
Gwen would never have seen that.

1088
00:50:31,987 --> 00:50:32,987
(♪♪♪)

1089
00:50:45,751 --> 00:50:46,459
(ARTHUR SIGHS)

1090
00:50:46,919 --> 00:50:48,586
ARTHUR (WHISPERS):
I wish Dad could see this.

1091
00:50:49,422 --> 00:50:51,715
It would take such a load off his mind.

1092
00:50:51,882 --> 00:50:54,175
(WHISPERS)
So, what are your orders?

1093
00:50:54,343 --> 00:50:55,385
Hmm?

1094
00:50:55,845 --> 00:50:58,722
You're a Claus.
You give the orders.

1095
00:50:58,889 --> 00:51:01,558
Do I? Oh! Um... Heh.

1096
00:51:01,726 --> 00:51:05,061
I'm just happy being an elf, really.
You know, just part of it all.

1097
00:51:05,354 --> 00:51:06,229
(SIGHS)

1098
00:51:06,731 --> 00:51:08,940
You want to order me
to go through the cat flap?

1099
00:51:09,108 --> 00:51:11,192
Oh! Um... Yes, that's a great idea.

1100
00:51:13,154 --> 00:51:15,280
Do you want to tell me to let you in?

1101
00:51:15,448 --> 00:51:17,323
Brilliant. Thank you, Bryony.

1102
00:51:18,367 --> 00:51:19,242
(ALARM BEEPS)

1103
00:51:19,493 --> 00:51:20,618
BRYONY:
And do you want to...?

1104
00:51:20,786 --> 00:51:23,204
Quick!
The alarm? Definitely, yes.

1105
00:51:27,960 --> 00:51:29,961
(♪♪♪)

1106
00:51:55,863 --> 00:51:56,654
Is this

1107
00:51:56,822 --> 00:51:58,031
your first time?

1108
00:52:13,547 --> 00:52:14,964
(BRYONY GASPS)

1109
00:52:15,800 --> 00:52:16,966
(GASPS)

1110
00:52:18,135 --> 00:52:19,302
But...

1111
00:52:22,181 --> 00:52:23,431
(♪♪♪)

1112
00:52:28,437 --> 00:52:29,479
Bryony?

1113
00:52:30,773 --> 00:52:31,898
(ALARM WAILING)

1114
00:52:32,608 --> 00:52:33,274
(BARKING)

1115
00:52:35,444 --> 00:52:36,110
Sorry.

1116
00:52:36,278 --> 00:52:39,072
He likes these slippers
even more than you do!

1117
00:52:46,247 --> 00:52:47,664
Happy Christmas.

1118
00:52:49,583 --> 00:52:51,292
BRYONY (IN NORMAL VOICE):
When you put the address into

1119
00:52:51,460 --> 00:52:52,836
the HOHO, what did you see?

1120
00:52:53,003 --> 00:52:55,713
(IN NORMAL VOICE) A list of Trelews.
I just clicked on the first one!

1121
00:52:55,881 --> 00:52:58,466
Which was not Trelew, England.

1122
00:52:58,634 --> 00:52:59,759
We're in the wrong Trelew!

1123
00:52:59,927 --> 00:53:00,760
(POLICE SIRENS WAILING)

1124
00:53:02,763 --> 00:53:04,347
(♪♪♪)

1125
00:53:06,725 --> 00:53:08,184
What's going on?!

1126
00:53:09,019 --> 00:53:12,063
They've been watching us.
They've seen Evie.

1127
00:53:12,439 --> 00:53:15,316
It's just like last time.
REPORTER: Governments tonight

1128
00:53:15,484 --> 00:53:18,778
are waking to news of a UFO
traveling the globe at incredible speed.

1129
00:53:18,946 --> 00:53:20,196
BRYONY: That's us!
The clearest

1130
00:53:20,364 --> 00:53:22,532
sighting was at
this tractor dealership

1131
00:53:22,700 --> 00:53:24,617
in Idaho.
Had eyeballs on its feet

1132
00:53:24,785 --> 00:53:28,413
and a pointy little head.
It asked me for a sign.

1133
00:53:28,622 --> 00:53:30,874
BRYONY: We're on the news.
REPORTER: From the trail in Toronto,

1134
00:53:31,041 --> 00:53:33,918
these beings do not appear friendly.
COMPUTER: Rebooting.

1135
00:53:34,920 --> 00:53:36,421
We are online, sir.
WOMAN 1: This is

1136
00:53:36,589 --> 00:53:37,714
Charlotte. Mexican

1137
00:53:37,882 --> 00:53:39,007
police found a furry thing

1138
00:53:39,174 --> 00:53:41,050
trying to mate with a dog.
MAN 1: I have calls

1139
00:53:41,218 --> 00:53:42,844
reporting a steam train flying around.

1140
00:53:43,012 --> 00:53:44,804
MAN 2:
Steam train? Been on the eggnog?

1141
00:53:44,972 --> 00:53:47,599
MAN 3: It's gone black over Mexico.
This thing's going faster

1142
00:53:47,766 --> 00:53:49,142
than anything we know of.

1143
00:53:49,310 --> 00:53:51,185
STEVE: No.
The herd is now in

1144
00:53:51,353 --> 00:53:54,022
Mozambique's airspace,
threatening the fragile peace

1145
00:53:54,189 --> 00:53:55,440
between the two nations.

1146
00:53:55,649 --> 00:53:59,027
Two billion items delivered, and we
didn't leave a footprint in the snow.

1147
00:53:59,194 --> 00:54:00,361
And now...
DOUG: Sir?

1148
00:54:00,529 --> 00:54:03,114
We have lost 80 percent of our data.

1149
00:54:03,324 --> 00:54:05,074
No, no. We have 18 pulse

1150
00:54:05,242 --> 00:54:09,579
data reservoirs of a trillion terabytes!
Sorry, autosave was off.

1151
00:54:09,747 --> 00:54:11,456
Shall I slap him, sir?
Quite hard?

1152
00:54:11,624 --> 00:54:12,290
DEBORAH:
Sir,

1153
00:54:12,458 --> 00:54:14,709
there's a polar bear on Level 6.

1154
00:54:14,877 --> 00:54:17,170
Sir? Why is
Arthur out there?

1155
00:54:18,130 --> 00:54:19,297
ERNIE:
He missed one.

1156
00:54:19,465 --> 00:54:20,506
A nipper.

1157
00:54:21,050 --> 00:54:22,133
I mean,

1158
00:54:22,301 --> 00:54:24,677
47785BXK.

1159
00:54:24,845 --> 00:54:26,137
(ALL GASP)

1160
00:54:26,764 --> 00:54:27,764
(BARKING)

1161
00:54:28,098 --> 00:54:29,849
Sir, we've got something.

1162
00:54:30,017 --> 00:54:32,560
Bryony Shelfley, it's her HOHO.

1163
00:54:37,274 --> 00:54:38,566
We can still get there.

1164
00:54:38,734 --> 00:54:42,070
We just have to go faster, higher!
You've changed your tune.

1165
00:54:42,237 --> 00:54:43,112
I'm not going anywhere.

1166
00:54:43,864 --> 00:54:44,656
I'm not here!

1167
00:54:45,074 --> 00:54:47,283
ARTHUR:
I've taped myself in! Grandsanta!

1168
00:54:47,576 --> 00:54:48,743
Leave me. It's that

1169
00:54:48,911 --> 00:54:50,536
terrible night all over again.

1170
00:54:50,704 --> 00:54:51,621
What night?

1171
00:54:51,789 --> 00:54:53,373
Last time I took Evie for a spin.

1172
00:54:53,791 --> 00:54:54,540
I didn't know

1173
00:54:54,708 --> 00:54:58,503
it was the Cuban missile crisis!
I nearly started World War III.

1174
00:55:00,547 --> 00:55:02,382
BRYONY:
Hold still. Someone has to drive.

1175
00:55:04,093 --> 00:55:04,801
Whoopsie!

1176
00:55:05,511 --> 00:55:06,219
ARTHUR:
Oh, no!

1177
00:55:06,428 --> 00:55:07,136
Fencer!

1178
00:55:07,304 --> 00:55:08,346
Mincer! Come back!

1179
00:55:08,514 --> 00:55:09,180
(SIRENS WAILING)

1180
00:55:10,099 --> 00:55:10,765
Bryony!

1181
00:55:11,767 --> 00:55:12,850
BRYONY:
Hi-yah!

1182
00:55:13,435 --> 00:55:14,268
(ARTHUR SCREAMS)

1183
00:55:16,188 --> 00:55:16,980
ARTHUR:
Grandsanta,

1184
00:55:17,147 --> 00:55:17,814
get here!

1185
00:55:17,982 --> 00:55:20,441
Oi! That's me new hip.

1186
00:55:20,693 --> 00:55:23,403
Please, I'll read you Gwen's letter.

1187
00:55:23,570 --> 00:55:25,029
GRANDSANTA:
Stone-deaf. I'm 136.

1188
00:55:25,197 --> 00:55:26,072
(HOHO CHIMES)

1189
00:55:26,240 --> 00:55:27,865
What's that?
It's Steve.

1190
00:55:28,033 --> 00:55:29,117
Steve!
GRANDSANTA: Tell him

1191
00:55:29,284 --> 00:55:30,118
I'm not here!

1192
00:55:30,285 --> 00:55:32,537
Grandsanta says he's not here.

1193
00:55:32,705 --> 00:55:35,456
Hi. I'm looking for a missing relic.

1194
00:55:35,624 --> 00:55:37,125
Steve, three words.

1195
00:55:37,292 --> 00:55:38,793
Is the first one "help"?
ARTHUR: Yes.

1196
00:55:38,961 --> 00:55:40,628
You can help us, Steve!
It was him!

1197
00:55:40,796 --> 00:55:42,922
Frosty the Madman.
He forced me to come.

1198
00:55:43,090 --> 00:55:44,841
Elf, back me up
if you want a career.

1199
00:55:45,009 --> 00:55:47,301
I forced you?
You see? Look.

1200
00:55:47,469 --> 00:55:49,804
What did you want, Grandsanta?
Let me guess. Hm.

1201
00:55:49,972 --> 00:55:52,598
A picture of you in the sleigh
delivering the gift

1202
00:55:52,766 --> 00:55:54,851
to show me how it's really done?

1203
00:55:55,019 --> 00:55:55,685
No.

1204
00:55:55,853 --> 00:55:57,854
You know the picture
they'll have tomorrow?

1205
00:55:58,022 --> 00:55:59,731
You, led away in handcuffs!

1206
00:55:59,898 --> 00:56:02,900
The Santa who was seen.
By everybody on Earth.

1207
00:56:03,110 --> 00:56:05,069
The Santa who ruined Christmas.

1208
00:56:05,237 --> 00:56:06,154
Ruined it!

1209
00:56:06,321 --> 00:56:10,408
We'll fix this, Steve. We'll be back home
in the wobble of a reindeer's buttocks.

1210
00:56:10,576 --> 00:56:14,412
And Evie can go back in mothballs.
You can forget she ever existed.

1211
00:56:14,580 --> 00:56:17,582
You can't just go home.
What about Gwen?

1212
00:56:17,750 --> 00:56:20,710
Gwen. For that, you'd threaten
my whole operation?

1213
00:56:20,878 --> 00:56:24,172
Steve, you said if there was any way
to get there, you would.

1214
00:56:24,339 --> 00:56:25,882
Well, this is it. Look.

1215
00:56:26,050 --> 00:56:27,383
The old sleigh is perfect!

1216
00:56:27,676 --> 00:56:31,888
Uh, right. Well, anyway, it goes
really fast, even with bits missing.

1217
00:56:32,056 --> 00:56:34,140
And we've got quite a few
reindeer left.

1218
00:56:34,308 --> 00:56:36,976
And, if I'm sick again,
I could be sick in a bag.

1219
00:56:37,144 --> 00:56:38,728
I'll wrap him one.

1220
00:56:39,313 --> 00:56:40,229
We can help them.

1221
00:56:40,397 --> 00:56:41,522
No one missed, sir!

1222
00:56:41,690 --> 00:56:43,566
All correct presents,
present and correct.

1223
00:56:44,485 --> 00:56:46,402
ARTHUR:
If you help us, Steve,

1224
00:56:46,570 --> 00:56:47,862
we can do it!

1225
00:56:52,993 --> 00:56:54,535
THOMAS:
Grandsanta and Arthur would be

1226
00:56:54,703 --> 00:56:56,871
the heroes of the night, sir!

1227
00:56:59,500 --> 00:57:01,292
Come home now!

1228
00:57:01,752 --> 00:57:03,002
If we all just gave in

1229
00:57:03,170 --> 00:57:05,129
to Christmas spirit, there'd be chaos.

1230
00:57:05,422 --> 00:57:07,673
Unh! We're on our way, Steve.
No!

1231
00:57:08,175 --> 00:57:10,134
Santa will want us to get to Gwen.

1232
00:57:10,302 --> 00:57:12,345
Ask him. Please.

1233
00:57:12,513 --> 00:57:13,554
STEVE:
Arthur,

1234
00:57:14,515 --> 00:57:16,974
this is Dad we're talking about.

1235
00:57:17,142 --> 00:57:20,978
There was a time when he cared about
every last gift tag, but now

1236
00:57:21,146 --> 00:57:24,357
he just wants to be loved
and get some rest.

1237
00:57:25,275 --> 00:57:29,987
No. He's lying awake,
worrying his beard off about Gwen.

1238
00:57:30,531 --> 00:57:31,531
(LINE RINGS)

1239
00:57:31,698 --> 00:57:34,242
SANTA:
Ho-ho-ho. Off to the land of nod.

1240
00:57:34,785 --> 00:57:37,370
Please do not disturb
until December 26th.

1241
00:57:37,538 --> 00:57:38,704
Is that it, dear?
MRS. SANTA: Yes.

1242
00:57:38,872 --> 00:57:39,580
Press the red...

1243
00:57:39,748 --> 00:57:40,832
(MACHINE BEEPS)

1244
00:57:42,000 --> 00:57:43,042
No.

1245
00:57:43,669 --> 00:57:46,254
Santa's the most caring man
in the world.

1246
00:57:46,421 --> 00:57:50,007
So why are you here,
not him?

1247
00:57:51,885 --> 00:57:53,052
(GRANDSANTA GRUNTS)

1248
00:57:53,637 --> 00:57:55,012
(ALL SCREAMING)

1249
00:57:56,473 --> 00:57:58,474
(ALL GRUNT)

1250
00:58:13,365 --> 00:58:15,074
Don't leave me, Arthur!

1251
00:58:15,284 --> 00:58:19,537
Poor old man and his reindeer,
on our own at Christmas?

1252
00:58:20,080 --> 00:58:23,916
At least have the decency
to finish us off with a rock!

1253
00:58:35,053 --> 00:58:37,054
(♪♪♪)

1254
00:58:59,328 --> 00:59:01,120
Poor Evie.

1255
00:59:04,499 --> 00:59:06,459
Sun'll be up soon.

1256
00:59:06,627 --> 00:59:08,502
It's Christmas!

1257
00:59:09,129 --> 00:59:12,423
Christmas is for kids.
You grow out of it.

1258
00:59:12,591 --> 00:59:14,258
What, in the last six minutes?

1259
00:59:15,302 --> 00:59:18,054
I know what you all say about me,
you know.

1260
00:59:18,263 --> 00:59:19,138
(SCOFFS)

1261
00:59:19,306 --> 00:59:22,016
(IN HIGH-PITCHED VOICE)
"He belongs in the South Pole."

1262
00:59:22,517 --> 00:59:26,562
(IMITATING SANTA)
"Dear Arthur, what a puzzle."

1263
00:59:26,772 --> 00:59:28,022
(♪♪♪)

1264
00:59:28,273 --> 00:59:29,815
(IN NORMAL VOICE)
Well, you were right.

1265
00:59:30,484 --> 00:59:33,236
All that fuss over one kid.

1266
00:59:33,403 --> 00:59:36,030
I was being ridiculous.

1267
00:59:36,782 --> 00:59:37,490
(SIGHS)

1268
00:59:37,658 --> 00:59:39,450
This is nice.

1269
00:59:39,618 --> 00:59:42,453
It's good to get away from it all,
you know.

1270
00:59:42,621 --> 00:59:44,622
All the Christmas fuss.

1271
00:59:50,003 --> 00:59:51,796
(GRUNTS)

1272
00:59:52,839 --> 00:59:56,467
I'm sorry I messed things up, lad.

1273
00:59:56,927 --> 00:59:58,094
You see,

1274
00:59:58,262 --> 01:00:01,931
the night I last took Evie out

1275
01:00:02,099 --> 01:00:05,184
when there was all that fuss,

1276
01:00:05,394 --> 01:00:07,478
your father came to me.

1277
01:00:07,646 --> 01:00:09,313
I'll never forget it.

1278
01:00:09,481 --> 01:00:11,565
Couldn't look me in the eye.

1279
01:00:11,775 --> 01:00:13,985
"Dad," he says.

1280
01:00:14,403 --> 01:00:17,947
"Steve thinks it best
you don't fly again.

1281
01:00:19,324 --> 01:00:22,034
We're scrapping the sleigh."

1282
01:00:22,995 --> 01:00:25,079
Me own son

1283
01:00:25,747 --> 01:00:28,708
who used to sit where you sat,
looking up at me.

1284
01:00:31,753 --> 01:00:34,964
I just wanted them to remember

1285
01:00:35,132 --> 01:00:37,341
who I used to be.

1286
01:00:39,344 --> 01:00:44,140
I was a bit like you, lad.
Keen as cranberry.

1287
01:00:44,308 --> 01:00:46,642
So was your dad.

1288
01:00:47,269 --> 01:00:49,228
You get old, that's all.

1289
01:00:49,396 --> 01:00:52,273
Everything changes.

1290
01:00:52,441 --> 01:00:53,816
Does it?

1291
01:00:55,569 --> 01:01:00,156
How can I ever write another letter
saying that Santa cares?

1292
01:01:00,365 --> 01:01:02,199
(♪♪♪)

1293
01:01:05,579 --> 01:01:07,413
(WAVERING SQUEAL)

1294
01:01:08,373 --> 01:01:09,957
Good night, Dad.

1295
01:01:11,001 --> 01:01:12,418
Sleep well.

1296
01:01:14,129 --> 01:01:15,629
(SANTA SNORES)

1297
01:01:15,797 --> 01:01:16,964
(KNOCK ON DOOR)

1298
01:01:19,968 --> 01:01:21,010
Oh!

1299
01:01:21,511 --> 01:01:25,097
Sir, we know you shouldn't
believe rumors, but we do.

1300
01:01:25,265 --> 01:01:27,016
Is it true you missed a child?

1301
01:01:27,184 --> 01:01:29,352
Me? No, no, no.

1302
01:01:29,519 --> 01:01:31,937
Well, uh, in a way, yes.

1303
01:01:32,105 --> 01:01:33,314
(ALL GASP)

1304
01:01:33,815 --> 01:01:35,066
It was just one.

1305
01:01:35,233 --> 01:01:37,068
In fact, not even that.

1306
01:01:37,235 --> 01:01:39,278
Naught point lots more naughts,

1307
01:01:39,446 --> 01:01:42,156
then a number
and some sort of percent at the end.

1308
01:01:42,324 --> 01:01:45,618
Not really an error, just a one.

1309
01:01:45,786 --> 01:01:48,412
One child doesn't matter?
Which one?

1310
01:01:48,580 --> 01:01:49,997
Well, I... It's not that...

1311
01:01:50,165 --> 01:01:51,999
SEB:
I did nine ones in Greece.

1312
01:01:52,167 --> 01:01:53,751
Did those matter?
FERGUS: What about my ones

1313
01:01:53,919 --> 01:01:56,087
in Germany? One of them was twins!

1314
01:01:56,254 --> 01:01:58,005
They don't matter half each.

1315
01:01:58,173 --> 01:02:02,468
Um... Why don't you ask Steve?
He can explain. Fiendishly clever.

1316
01:02:02,636 --> 01:02:04,720
But aren't you in charge, sir?

1317
01:02:05,263 --> 01:02:08,766
Of course. I'm Santa.

1318
01:02:08,934 --> 01:02:09,767
THOMAS:
Sir,

1319
01:02:09,935 --> 01:02:12,937
if the one that got missed
doesn't matter,

1320
01:02:13,105 --> 01:02:15,898
why have Arthur and Grandsanta
gone to take it?

1321
01:02:16,191 --> 01:02:20,986
What?
Malcolm, what's this about Arthur?

1322
01:02:21,571 --> 01:02:22,863
(ELVES CLAMORING)

1323
01:02:23,115 --> 01:02:24,115
ELF 1:
He's crazy.

1324
01:02:24,282 --> 01:02:26,492
DEBORAH: Is there a list of
children who don't matter?

1325
01:02:26,660 --> 01:02:28,786
Santa said they don't matter
100 percent.

1326
01:02:28,954 --> 01:02:31,831
ELF 2: Is it true children aren't
real, they're just antimatter?

1327
01:02:32,207 --> 01:02:34,250
Shh, shh! Do not... Look. Look!

1328
01:02:34,418 --> 01:02:38,087
I festivized every single country
in the world. You see?

1329
01:02:38,255 --> 01:02:40,756
This one, this one, this one.
All of them.

1330
01:02:40,924 --> 01:02:44,135
I mean, who cares about
one single tiny child?

1331
01:02:44,302 --> 01:02:45,428
(ALL GASP)

1332
01:02:47,097 --> 01:02:49,140
Uh... I do.

1333
01:02:50,058 --> 01:02:51,475
Arthur.

1334
01:02:51,726 --> 01:02:53,853
My poor boy.

1335
01:02:54,104 --> 01:02:55,980
Why on earth would he...?

1336
01:02:56,690 --> 01:03:00,151
You're his brother, Steve.
How could you let him?

1337
01:03:00,610 --> 01:03:04,321
And about this child you missed,

1338
01:03:04,489 --> 01:03:07,158
I'm really not sure
you made the right decision.

1339
01:03:09,536 --> 01:03:11,954
Is that bird doo
on your shoulder?

1340
01:03:12,706 --> 01:03:13,914
Right.

1341
01:03:14,082 --> 01:03:15,541
Over there is Satellite

1342
01:03:15,709 --> 01:03:18,169
Tracking, Navigation, Data Analysis.

1343
01:03:18,336 --> 01:03:22,339
Coffee machine's by the door.
Good night, Santa.

1344
01:03:22,632 --> 01:03:26,135
♪ Gloria ♪

1345
01:03:26,303 --> 01:03:29,013
♪ Hosanna in excelsis ♪ ♪

1346
01:03:32,642 --> 01:03:33,893
SANTA:
Um...

1347
01:03:35,353 --> 01:03:36,979
I'll be right back.

1348
01:03:41,693 --> 01:03:43,694
(DOOR CLOSES)

1349
01:03:51,828 --> 01:03:53,829
(♪♪♪)

1350
01:04:15,685 --> 01:04:17,603
ARTHUR: Dear Xiao-Ling,
thanks for your letter

1351
01:04:17,771 --> 01:04:19,980
and drawing of Santa
tripping over your dog.

1352
01:04:20,148 --> 01:04:21,190
It was hilarious.

1353
01:04:21,358 --> 01:04:22,316
Dear Alessandro,

1354
01:04:22,484 --> 01:04:26,612
I'm sorry your family's
had a hard year, but Santa is real.

1355
01:04:26,780 --> 01:04:31,116
Dear Lars,
I promise Santa will come.

1356
01:04:31,284 --> 01:04:33,869
He's the greatest man ever.

1357
01:04:52,722 --> 01:04:54,807
Can I burn this?
Sure.

1358
01:04:54,975 --> 01:04:55,641
(SIGHS)

1359
01:04:55,809 --> 01:04:57,643
There's millions like it.

1360
01:05:15,161 --> 01:05:15,828
(GRUNTS)

1361
01:05:19,791 --> 01:05:21,500
This picture.

1362
01:05:21,793 --> 01:05:23,961
This drawing!

1363
01:05:24,963 --> 01:05:26,880
It isn't of Dad

1364
01:05:27,757 --> 01:05:28,591
or you

1365
01:05:29,175 --> 01:05:30,509
or Steve.

1366
01:05:32,721 --> 01:05:34,555
This is Santa!

1367
01:05:35,348 --> 01:05:36,140
Ha, ha!

1368
01:05:36,308 --> 01:05:41,604
And as long we get the bike to Gwen
before she wakes up, then Santa came!

1369
01:05:42,314 --> 01:05:45,107
And he cares! Ha, ha!

1370
01:05:45,567 --> 01:05:46,692
(PANTING)

1371
01:05:48,653 --> 01:05:50,362
(PLAYING "JINGLE BELLS")

1372
01:05:50,572 --> 01:05:51,780
Excuse!
Aah!

1373
01:05:51,948 --> 01:05:53,616
ARTHUR:
♪ Jingle bells, jingle bells ♪

1374
01:05:53,783 --> 01:05:55,367
♪ Jingle all the way ♪

1375
01:05:55,535 --> 01:05:56,827
♪ Oh, what fun it is to reach ♪

1376
01:05:56,995 --> 01:05:59,288
♪ Gwen Hines on Christmas Day
Wah-hey! ♪ ♪

1377
01:06:00,540 --> 01:06:01,832
(ARTHUR GRUNTING)

1378
01:06:02,000 --> 01:06:04,209
ARTHUR: ♪ Jingle Bells
This boat smells ♪

1379
01:06:05,170 --> 01:06:07,379
♪ Three thousand miles to go ♪ ♪

1380
01:06:08,423 --> 01:06:09,715
GRANDSANTA:
Oh, dear.

1381
01:06:10,091 --> 01:06:13,844
I've seen this before.
Sleigh fever, they call it.

1382
01:06:14,012 --> 01:06:16,889
Pressure of Christmas
sends a man doolally-tap.

1383
01:06:17,057 --> 01:06:19,975
Santa Claus XVI got it, 1802.

1384
01:06:20,143 --> 01:06:23,145
Every child that year got a sausage
nailed to a piece of bark.

1385
01:06:23,438 --> 01:06:24,188
Unh! Whoa!

1386
01:06:24,981 --> 01:06:29,568
Arthur, do you really think you can
row the Atlantic Ocean in the next

1387
01:06:29,736 --> 01:06:31,403
37 minutes?
It's not,

1388
01:06:31,571 --> 01:06:34,573
unh, too late yet.

1389
01:06:34,741 --> 01:06:36,492
I just have to keep,

1390
01:06:36,660 --> 01:06:37,910
unh, going.

1391
01:06:38,078 --> 01:06:41,497
We need a blunt instrument.
Knock him out and regroup.

1392
01:06:41,665 --> 01:06:46,460
MAN (ON HOHO): Make a legal U-turn,
then slight right in 4228 miles.

1393
01:06:46,628 --> 01:06:49,046
You do know
we're going round in circles?

1394
01:06:49,673 --> 01:06:54,635
You know, we're not the only ones.
Maybe I will see Evie again.

1395
01:06:54,928 --> 01:06:56,637
What do you mean?
GRANDSANTA: Reindeer are

1396
01:06:56,805 --> 01:06:58,389
brave, powerful beasts

1397
01:06:58,556 --> 01:07:01,684
but they're also dappled cretins
with twigs on their heads.

1398
01:07:01,851 --> 01:07:06,355
They'll just keep going in a
straight line right round the world.

1399
01:07:06,606 --> 01:07:08,899
They'll be way up in the sky, flying

1400
01:07:09,067 --> 01:07:11,610
at unimaginable speed,
but they'll pass

1401
01:07:11,778 --> 01:07:13,779
right over our heads.
Great!

1402
01:07:13,947 --> 01:07:15,656
We can get the sleigh back!

1403
01:07:18,410 --> 01:07:19,410
(♪♪♪)

1404
01:07:19,661 --> 01:07:20,327
Chief De Silva.

1405
01:07:20,912 --> 01:07:23,914
Where is this UFO?
It's circling the Earth, ma'am.

1406
01:07:24,082 --> 01:07:26,709
Nineteen minutes ago,
it went into orbit.

1407
01:07:27,544 --> 01:07:31,046
You? Up there?
Catch that with this?

1408
01:07:32,048 --> 01:07:33,048
Magic dust.

1409
01:07:33,216 --> 01:07:34,758
You crack it over your head.

1410
01:07:34,926 --> 01:07:38,846
You'll have to focus. The sleigh'll be
coming at you at 45,000 miles an hour.

1411
01:07:39,013 --> 01:07:40,764
45,000...?
GRANDSANTA: You'll be torn

1412
01:07:40,932 --> 01:07:41,974
in half!

1413
01:07:42,142 --> 01:07:45,602
Depends on the angle the sleigh hits.
You might just get beheaded.

1414
01:07:45,770 --> 01:07:51,024
I've got a phobia of being beheaded,
and heights and speed and reindeer

1415
01:07:51,192 --> 01:07:52,276
and buttons.

1416
01:07:52,527 --> 01:07:53,569
Buttons?

1417
01:07:53,737 --> 01:07:55,696
Yeah, I'm pretty much scared
of everything.

1418
01:07:55,864 --> 01:07:59,032
Gwen thinks you're coming. Ah!

1419
01:07:59,200 --> 01:08:00,701
You can't do this. Yes, you can!

1420
01:08:00,869 --> 01:08:03,370
No, you can't. Yes, you can!
Come on, Arthur!

1421
01:08:03,538 --> 01:08:05,330
Don't worry. Only a raving lunatic...

1422
01:08:05,498 --> 01:08:07,791
I have to worry!
It's the only thing I'm good at!

1423
01:08:07,959 --> 01:08:08,959
(GASPS)

1424
01:08:09,127 --> 01:08:10,169
Worry me.

1425
01:08:10,336 --> 01:08:11,962
The sleigh'll be back
any minute.

1426
01:08:12,130 --> 01:08:13,756
Come on. Worry me, quickly!

1427
01:08:14,799 --> 01:08:17,342
Imagine Gwen, all alone,

1428
01:08:17,510 --> 01:08:20,012
nothing under the tree.
Here we go. Unh.

1429
01:08:20,638 --> 01:08:21,305
(YELLS)

1430
01:08:21,473 --> 01:08:22,848
No! Don't like this! Stop! Stop! Stop!

1431
01:08:23,016 --> 01:08:23,849
Get me down!

1432
01:08:24,017 --> 01:08:25,476
The tears as she finds
she's been left out.

1433
01:08:26,269 --> 01:08:28,353
Screaming, "Santa didn't come!"

1434
01:08:28,521 --> 01:08:29,521
Oh, Gwen.

1435
01:08:29,689 --> 01:08:31,482
No! It's just

1436
01:08:31,649 --> 01:08:33,776
too high!
BRYONY: Gwen in the street

1437
01:08:33,985 --> 01:08:36,069
surrounded by kids
on new bikes, pointing:

1438
01:08:36,488 --> 01:08:39,323
"That's the girl
that Santa hates!"

1439
01:08:39,491 --> 01:08:43,619
She runs away, alcoholic by the age of 9.
Dead before she's even...!

1440
01:08:43,787 --> 01:08:46,371
She may never build
a snowman again!

1441
01:08:46,539 --> 01:08:47,414
(ARTHUR YELLS)

1442
01:08:47,749 --> 01:08:50,793
What if there are buttons on the sleigh
I don't know about?!

1443
01:08:51,002 --> 01:08:53,003
Here it is!

1444
01:09:03,681 --> 01:09:04,807
Um...

1445
01:09:04,974 --> 01:09:05,808
(SCREAMING)

1446
01:09:06,392 --> 01:09:07,684
(♪♪♪)

1447
01:09:12,524 --> 01:09:14,191
How do you think he's, uh...?

1448
01:09:14,359 --> 01:09:17,694
Fine, fine. Probably just, uh...

1449
01:09:17,862 --> 01:09:19,863
(♪♪♪)

1450
01:09:20,031 --> 01:09:21,573
(SCREAMING
AND WHIMPERING)

1451
01:09:28,081 --> 01:09:30,040
(WHISTLING
"GOOD KING WENCESLAS")

1452
01:09:32,335 --> 01:09:35,671
So how come they didn't
scrap the sleigh, sir?

1453
01:09:35,839 --> 01:09:39,591
I threatened the elves.
Said I'd feed them to the polar bears.

1454
01:09:39,759 --> 01:09:41,009
(CLEARS THROAT)

1455
01:09:43,847 --> 01:09:44,513
Whoa!

1456
01:09:46,474 --> 01:09:47,349
(GRUNTING)

1457
01:09:51,312 --> 01:09:56,275
Elf, how do you fancy being the one
to tell his parents about all this?

1458
01:09:57,569 --> 01:09:58,235
(YELLING)

1459
01:10:04,242 --> 01:10:05,868
(GRUNTS THEN
WHIMPERING AND YELLING)

1460
01:10:10,456 --> 01:10:12,165
Whoa! Whoa!

1461
01:10:12,333 --> 01:10:13,250
Whoa!

1462
01:10:20,842 --> 01:10:22,050
(ARTHUR SCREAMING)

1463
01:10:26,389 --> 01:10:27,055
(BRYONY COUGHING)

1464
01:10:27,223 --> 01:10:28,849
(WHEEZING)

1465
01:10:29,017 --> 01:10:31,560
Yay! Arthur!

1466
01:10:31,728 --> 01:10:33,604
You did it!
I did it with worry!

1467
01:10:33,771 --> 01:10:36,315
Oh, I was sure you'd die.
It was great!

1468
01:10:36,524 --> 01:10:38,483
MAN (ON HOHO):
Proceed to the highlighted route.

1469
01:10:38,651 --> 01:10:40,444
(IN WAVERING VOICE)
Proceed to the highlighted.

1470
01:10:41,946 --> 01:10:44,281
Just keep worrying
about Gwen.

1471
01:10:44,449 --> 01:10:47,534
I'll find a way there, boy.
Whatever it takes.

1472
01:10:47,952 --> 01:10:49,661
To Trelew!

1473
01:10:53,541 --> 01:10:54,374
Margaret.

1474
01:10:54,542 --> 01:10:56,418
Hand me my Me suit.

1475
01:10:56,586 --> 01:10:58,253
All sorted. Steve's, uh...

1476
01:10:58,421 --> 01:10:59,671
holding the fort

1477
01:10:59,839 --> 01:11:02,633
while I deliver the present, yes,

1478
01:11:02,800 --> 01:11:04,593
and find Arthur and Father.

1479
01:11:04,928 --> 01:11:06,011
Well done, dear.

1480
01:11:06,179 --> 01:11:09,890
Trelew's on a course of 187.7 degrees
from the geographic pole

1481
01:11:10,058 --> 01:11:11,767
but as it's the old sleigh,

1482
01:11:11,935 --> 01:11:14,561
allow a drift margin
of 1000 miles either side

1483
01:11:14,729 --> 01:11:17,064
of the meridian.
Got a sweater for Arthur,

1484
01:11:17,231 --> 01:11:18,398
your father's pills,

1485
01:11:18,566 --> 01:11:20,442
and some nice sweet tea.

1486
01:11:21,152 --> 01:11:22,110
Hm.

1487
01:11:22,695 --> 01:11:23,904
(CRASH)

1488
01:11:26,908 --> 01:11:28,033
COMPUTER:
Curtains.

1489
01:11:31,120 --> 01:11:32,704
S-1 dented.
PETER: Sir. Sir!

1490
01:11:32,872 --> 01:11:33,538
Big scratch

1491
01:11:33,706 --> 01:11:34,623
down side.

1492
01:11:34,791 --> 01:11:37,042
"Popped out to take present.

1493
01:11:37,377 --> 01:11:39,336
Turkey sandwich in fridge.
Mum and Dad."

1494
01:11:39,504 --> 01:11:40,837
Espresso machine broken.

1495
01:11:41,005 --> 01:11:43,298
That idiot, Arthur. He's sent

1496
01:11:43,466 --> 01:11:44,925
everyone crazy.

1497
01:11:45,093 --> 01:11:46,426
He'll destroy Christmas.

1498
01:11:46,594 --> 01:11:49,096
And you'll never
get to be Santa.

1499
01:11:50,348 --> 01:11:52,265
Steven!

1500
01:11:52,600 --> 01:11:53,850
I, um...

1501
01:11:54,268 --> 01:11:57,312
23 Mimosa Avenue, Trelew.

1502
01:11:58,231 --> 01:11:58,897
Malcolm,

1503
01:11:59,065 --> 01:12:01,358
there's no harm in using a manual.

1504
01:12:01,526 --> 01:12:04,277
Men.
Margaret, I order you to disembark.

1505
01:12:04,445 --> 01:12:05,737
It's not safe. Unh!

1506
01:12:05,905 --> 01:12:08,949
Piffle. I did a microlight flying course
on the Internet.

1507
01:12:09,117 --> 01:12:11,034
It can't be that different.

1508
01:12:11,869 --> 01:12:13,870
Oh! Steve.

1509
01:12:14,747 --> 01:12:17,624
You've dented it!
You take it out without asking?

1510
01:12:17,792 --> 01:12:19,626
Malcolm, you told me
he knew.

1511
01:12:19,794 --> 01:12:21,837
You know how Steve feels
about his S-1.

1512
01:12:22,005 --> 01:12:24,423
It's my S-1 . S for "Santa."

1513
01:12:24,590 --> 01:12:26,591
I'm flying to this child.

1514
01:12:26,759 --> 01:12:30,220
Of course she's all that matters.
Not me, your son.

1515
01:12:30,388 --> 01:12:32,556
Not the 2 billion things
I did right tonight.

1516
01:12:32,724 --> 01:12:34,016
No!

1517
01:12:35,101 --> 01:12:37,394
This is about that pool table,
isn't it?

1518
01:12:37,562 --> 01:12:40,272
I told you, you should've written
to me.

1519
01:12:40,440 --> 01:12:42,733
I was 8. You're my dad!

1520
01:12:42,900 --> 01:12:43,942
For goodness sake!

1521
01:12:44,110 --> 01:12:46,028
Arthur and Grandsanta are out there

1522
01:12:46,195 --> 01:12:48,363
probably not wearing
nearly enough layers

1523
01:12:48,531 --> 01:12:51,366
and you two are bickering over
a big red toy?!

1524
01:12:51,534 --> 01:12:53,493
I'm not bickering.
If Steven could just

1525
01:12:53,661 --> 01:12:54,536
stand back... Ooh!

1526
01:12:54,912 --> 01:12:56,204
COMPUTER:
Air bag.

1527
01:13:02,670 --> 01:13:04,546
You drive, Steven.

1528
01:13:05,173 --> 01:13:06,214
Thank you.

1529
01:13:06,382 --> 01:13:10,052
So since gift delivery
to child 47785BXK

1530
01:13:10,219 --> 01:13:11,553
is all that seems

1531
01:13:11,721 --> 01:13:13,180
to matter,

1532
01:13:13,347 --> 01:13:14,473
I'll do it myself.

1533
01:13:14,640 --> 01:13:18,310
Then we'll pick up Arthur and Grandsanta
from whatever ditch they ended up in.

1534
01:13:18,603 --> 01:13:19,978
Maximum thrust.

1535
01:13:24,650 --> 01:13:27,903
Um, when Santa
said he'd be right back,

1536
01:13:28,071 --> 01:13:29,863
what do you think he...?

1537
01:13:30,031 --> 01:13:31,990
He's not coming back!

1538
01:13:32,158 --> 01:13:33,575
The Santas are leaving!

1539
01:13:33,743 --> 01:13:34,785
Children don't matter?

1540
01:13:34,952 --> 01:13:36,328
Christmas doesn't matter!

1541
01:13:36,496 --> 01:13:37,245
Nothing matters!

1542
01:13:37,413 --> 01:13:39,206
It's like 1816!

1543
01:13:39,373 --> 01:13:40,082
(ALL GASP)

1544
01:13:40,249 --> 01:13:41,124
Abandon the North Pole!

1545
01:13:41,292 --> 01:13:43,335
DEBORAH: Everybody, panic!
COMPUTER: Are you sure you want

1546
01:13:43,503 --> 01:13:44,753
to delete Christmas?

1547
01:13:45,630 --> 01:13:46,713
Meltdown: 10 minutes.

1548
01:13:46,881 --> 01:13:49,257
ELF 1: Head south!
ELF 2: It's all south from here, you fool!

1549
01:13:49,759 --> 01:13:51,510
(♪♪♪)

1550
01:13:51,803 --> 01:13:53,512
I know where we can find

1551
01:13:53,679 --> 01:13:54,679
a map, lad!

1552
01:13:56,557 --> 01:13:57,224
A bit

1553
01:13:57,391 --> 01:13:58,058
risky, this.

1554
01:14:00,353 --> 01:14:02,938
Breaking the rules,
even in the old days.

1555
01:14:09,570 --> 01:14:11,571
(♪♪♪)

1556
01:14:23,751 --> 01:14:25,127
There!

1557
01:14:25,336 --> 01:14:27,796
Biggest map in the world!

1558
01:14:32,510 --> 01:14:33,510
Dash!

1559
01:14:36,139 --> 01:14:39,516
DE SILVA: Friends, on this night
of peace, we stand confronted

1560
01:14:39,684 --> 01:14:41,351
by an unknown danger.

1561
01:14:41,519 --> 01:14:44,688
Aliens. Aliens from space.

1562
01:14:44,897 --> 01:14:47,524
MAN 1: Blast them from the skies!
WOMAN 1: Let us do an autopsy.

1563
01:14:47,692 --> 01:14:49,818
But maybe the aliens come in peace?

1564
01:14:49,986 --> 01:14:50,944
They burst an inflatable

1565
01:14:51,112 --> 01:14:53,572
Santa Claus in Toronto.
On Christmas night!

1566
01:14:53,781 --> 01:14:56,283
WOMAN 2: What a terrible thing.
DE SILVA: Let us attempt contact,

1567
01:14:56,534 --> 01:14:59,619
but be ready to save our planet.

1568
01:15:01,664 --> 01:15:04,207
GRANDSANTA:
Hold tight, lad. This is where it gets

1569
01:15:04,375 --> 01:15:05,417
really rough.

1570
01:15:07,670 --> 01:15:08,336
(GRUNTING)

1571
01:15:15,136 --> 01:15:16,261
(ALL YELL)

1572
01:15:18,347 --> 01:15:19,681
Not now,

1573
01:15:19,849 --> 01:15:21,057
you sack of antlers.

1574
01:15:28,482 --> 01:15:29,816
(ALL CHEERING)

1575
01:15:30,484 --> 01:15:31,651
MAN (OVER PA):
Alert level six.

1576
01:15:31,819 --> 01:15:33,737
It's coming down through
the atmosphere.

1577
01:15:33,905 --> 01:15:34,863
We'll see it.

1578
01:15:35,031 --> 01:15:36,364
Forty-six, 45,

1579
01:15:36,908 --> 01:15:39,034
44, 43.

1580
01:15:39,243 --> 01:15:42,245
They'll be waiting for us, sir.
We were on the news.

1581
01:15:42,413 --> 01:15:46,291
All their technology
against my Evie.

1582
01:15:46,459 --> 01:15:49,211
Oh, come on. Let's do it with worry!

1583
01:15:50,421 --> 01:15:53,215
Santa mustn't be seen, eh, lad?

1584
01:15:53,382 --> 01:15:54,633
Let's give them

1585
01:15:54,800 --> 01:15:55,967
something to shoot at.

1586
01:15:57,220 --> 01:15:58,345
We have visual.

1587
01:15:58,512 --> 01:15:59,679
Here it comes.

1588
01:15:59,931 --> 01:16:01,056
(ALL GASP)

1589
01:16:01,641 --> 01:16:04,017
GRANDSANTA:
Take us to your leader. Ha-ha-ha!

1590
01:16:04,769 --> 01:16:05,560
ARTHUR:
England!

1591
01:16:06,479 --> 01:16:07,771
GRANDSANTA:
No sign of anyone.

1592
01:16:07,939 --> 01:16:10,523
ARTHUR: The sun's coming up!
Come on, lad! You can

1593
01:16:10,691 --> 01:16:12,067
do it! Move your hooves!

1594
01:16:12,652 --> 01:16:14,569
Mankind greets you. Do you copy?

1595
01:16:14,779 --> 01:16:17,614
Season's greetings from mankind.
Good morning, do you copy?

1596
01:16:17,823 --> 01:16:20,033
The hull is some kind of
woody substance, ma'am.

1597
01:16:20,201 --> 01:16:21,743
Like wood.

1598
01:16:21,911 --> 01:16:23,787
Coated in lead paint.

1599
01:16:23,955 --> 01:16:25,288
The engine
seems to be alive.

1600
01:16:25,456 --> 01:16:27,123
And furry.

1601
01:16:27,583 --> 01:16:29,084
GRANDSANTA:
Come on, lad!

1602
01:16:29,252 --> 01:16:30,460
Put your back

1603
01:16:30,628 --> 01:16:31,294
into it!

1604
01:16:31,462 --> 01:16:33,171
♪ Dashing through the snow ♪

1605
01:16:33,339 --> 01:16:34,756
ALL:
♪ In a one horse open sleigh ♪

1606
01:16:35,341 --> 01:16:37,467
♪ Over the fields we go ♪

1607
01:16:37,635 --> 01:16:39,511
♪ Laughing all the way, ha, ha, ha ♪ ♪

1608
01:16:39,720 --> 01:16:42,639
I have something. It's very faint but...

1609
01:16:42,807 --> 01:16:43,723
Scramble drone.

1610
01:16:43,891 --> 01:16:46,685
ALL: ♪ Jingle bells, jingle
bells Jingle all the way ♪ ♪

1611
01:16:47,019 --> 01:16:48,561
ARTHUR:
That's it, there!

1612
01:16:48,729 --> 01:16:49,896
We made it!
Yay!

1613
01:16:52,108 --> 01:16:53,692
Not quite.

1614
01:16:53,859 --> 01:16:54,567
Dash!

1615
01:16:56,404 --> 01:16:57,862
(♪♪♪)

1616
01:16:58,030 --> 01:17:00,031
It's right up me steam pipe!

1617
01:17:00,533 --> 01:17:02,492
It's tracking
something electronic!

1618
01:17:02,660 --> 01:17:03,785
We haven't got

1619
01:17:03,953 --> 01:17:06,079
any "electrickery."
Just wood

1620
01:17:06,289 --> 01:17:07,330
and brass and...

1621
01:17:07,498 --> 01:17:08,581
Oh, dear.

1622
01:17:08,749 --> 01:17:10,417
BRYONY & GRANDSANTA:
Your slipper!

1623
01:17:11,168 --> 01:17:12,168
We have lock.

1624
01:17:12,795 --> 01:17:14,462
We got to get you
down there, lad.

1625
01:17:14,630 --> 01:17:16,881
They'll see us! We'll be stopped!
Give me that.

1626
01:17:17,383 --> 01:17:20,302
What are you doing?
It's Evie they're after.

1627
01:17:20,469 --> 01:17:24,347
She doesn't fit this world, Arthur.
She's a relic.

1628
01:17:24,515 --> 01:17:25,307
Evie?

1629
01:17:25,474 --> 01:17:29,436
I always knew she'd be needed
one more time.

1630
01:17:29,937 --> 01:17:32,814
You go on. We'll let them have her.

1631
01:17:32,982 --> 01:17:34,399
You're coming too.

1632
01:17:34,567 --> 01:17:39,279
You were right, Arthur. It doesn't matter
how Santa's gift gets there.

1633
01:17:39,447 --> 01:17:41,531
Doesn't even matter if it's

1634
01:17:41,699 --> 01:17:45,118
Mr. Postman in his spaceship.
As long as it gets there.

1635
01:17:45,286 --> 01:17:48,913
You made it happen, lad.
No one got left out.

1636
01:17:49,206 --> 01:17:50,540
Get off.

1637
01:17:50,708 --> 01:17:52,083
Now, do as I say.

1638
01:17:52,793 --> 01:17:54,085
MAN:
They're firing on us!

1639
01:17:54,253 --> 01:17:56,087
A death ray!
Made of chocolate

1640
01:17:56,255 --> 01:17:58,298
and oranges.
WOMAN: Unidentified

1641
01:17:58,466 --> 01:17:59,591
varnished object,

1642
01:17:59,759 --> 01:18:01,051
turn back or we shoot.

1643
01:18:01,218 --> 01:18:01,926
Go!

1644
01:18:02,720 --> 01:18:03,720
Turn back.

1645
01:18:05,931 --> 01:18:07,974
Happy Christmas!

1646
01:18:08,142 --> 01:18:10,435
In Santa we believe!

1647
01:18:11,812 --> 01:18:12,479
Go on, elf.

1648
01:18:12,772 --> 01:18:14,147
You too.

1649
01:18:15,232 --> 01:18:16,066
Hi-yah!

1650
01:18:17,651 --> 01:18:19,277
DE SILVA:
Fire missiles.

1651
01:18:20,363 --> 01:18:21,738
This is it, old fella.

1652
01:18:22,531 --> 01:18:23,365
Maybe the next

1653
01:18:23,532 --> 01:18:25,950
Santa never sat in my Evie,

1654
01:18:26,118 --> 01:18:27,410
but Arthur did.

1655
01:18:27,578 --> 01:18:31,456
And he's as good a man
as any Santa there's ever been.

1656
01:18:32,166 --> 01:18:32,957
(♪♪♪)

1657
01:18:33,167 --> 01:18:33,833
Yah!

1658
01:18:37,630 --> 01:18:38,671
Goodbye, Evie.

1659
01:18:43,886 --> 01:18:44,552
(ALL SIGH)

1660
01:18:44,720 --> 01:18:45,762
Thank you, everyone.

1661
01:18:45,930 --> 01:18:48,306
You just saved Christmas.

1662
01:18:50,601 --> 01:18:51,351
(BOTH YELL)

1663
01:18:56,857 --> 01:18:58,650
(♪♪♪)

1664
01:18:59,902 --> 01:19:00,735
STEVE:
Trelew.

1665
01:19:04,865 --> 01:19:07,826
Out with the old, in with the new.

1666
01:19:08,160 --> 01:19:10,120
Well done, dear.

1667
01:19:16,252 --> 01:19:19,921
Poor Arthur.
He tried so hard.

1668
01:19:20,297 --> 01:19:22,257
He's flunked again.
Of course

1669
01:19:22,466 --> 01:19:23,591
he hasn't, dear.

1670
01:19:23,759 --> 01:19:27,470
We're here. The little girl
will get her present.

1671
01:19:27,638 --> 01:19:30,473
I think he's done rather splendidly.

1672
01:19:31,559 --> 01:19:33,268
My Margaret.

1673
01:19:33,436 --> 01:19:34,936
(DOORBELL RINGS
OVER MONITOR)

1674
01:19:35,855 --> 01:19:39,357
Good morning, Gwen.
Ho, ho, et cetera.

1675
01:19:39,525 --> 01:19:41,109
Apologies for the minor delay.

1676
01:19:41,277 --> 01:19:43,486
I'm sure that even a child
can understand

1677
01:19:43,654 --> 01:19:46,030
that in an operation
as complex as Christmas,

1678
01:19:46,198 --> 01:19:49,784
there's always an insignificant
margin of error,

1679
01:19:49,952 --> 01:19:51,911
which is you. As a gesture,

1680
01:19:52,079 --> 01:19:55,832
I've upgraded you
to the Glamorfast Ultra X-3

1681
01:19:56,000 --> 01:19:58,543
which retails at 9.99 more
than your requested gift.

1682
01:19:59,253 --> 01:20:01,963
Bigger ergo better.

1683
01:20:02,131 --> 01:20:04,424
If you wouldn't mind
just signing a legal waiver?

1684
01:20:05,009 --> 01:20:06,676
(SPEAKING IN SPANISH)

1685
01:20:09,680 --> 01:20:12,015
Pedro? A boy?

1686
01:20:14,477 --> 01:20:15,852
A Spanish boy?

1687
01:20:16,562 --> 01:20:17,645
This is an error.

1688
01:20:17,938 --> 01:20:19,397
(SPEAKS IN SPANISH)

1689
01:20:19,565 --> 01:20:20,398
Now get off the bike.

1690
01:20:20,566 --> 01:20:21,232
(BOY CRIES)

1691
01:20:21,400 --> 01:20:22,484
Will you get...?

1692
01:20:22,651 --> 01:20:24,569
No, no, no. Please don't cry.

1693
01:20:24,945 --> 01:20:26,404
No cry-o.

1694
01:20:28,073 --> 01:20:28,823
(DOG BARKING OVER MONITOR)

1695
01:20:28,991 --> 01:20:31,409
No, uh, "sob-idad."

1696
01:20:31,785 --> 01:20:33,369
Uh...

1697
01:20:39,043 --> 01:20:40,460
It's over a mile.

1698
01:20:40,628 --> 01:20:41,586
We've got no sleigh,

1699
01:20:41,754 --> 01:20:44,714
no reindeer,
and you can't even walk.

1700
01:20:46,967 --> 01:20:48,259
What are you doing?

1701
01:20:48,511 --> 01:20:49,594
(♪♪♪)

1702
01:20:52,306 --> 01:20:53,014
I can cycle!

1703
01:20:53,807 --> 01:20:55,266
Oi! Come back!

1704
01:20:55,434 --> 01:20:57,560
What about
the wrapping?!

1705
01:20:59,146 --> 01:21:01,606
ARTHUR:
The church. She lives by the church!

1706
01:21:01,774 --> 01:21:04,025
Happy Christmas, cows!

1707
01:21:04,193 --> 01:21:07,654
COMPUTER: Meltdown. Ten seconds
to figgy Flensburg. Snowman.

1708
01:21:07,821 --> 01:21:10,406
German, leave out the carrot.
Is Santa on shoe?

1709
01:21:10,908 --> 01:21:12,116
What the...?!

1710
01:21:13,619 --> 01:21:16,162
Look, everyone! It's Arthur!

1711
01:21:16,330 --> 01:21:18,915
He's delivering the present.

1712
01:21:19,083 --> 01:21:21,376
It's Arthur.
ELF: Hooray for Arthur!

1713
01:21:21,585 --> 01:21:22,835
COMPUTER:
Meltdown paused.

1714
01:21:26,006 --> 01:21:27,257
BRYONY:
Come back!

1715
01:21:28,634 --> 01:21:29,592
(GRANDSANTA COUGHS)

1716
01:21:29,760 --> 01:21:31,803
Oh, my head.

1717
01:21:32,304 --> 01:21:34,472
Ye baubles,
a beautiful young reindeer.

1718
01:21:34,640 --> 01:21:37,100
Ah. So who am I, then?

1719
01:21:37,851 --> 01:21:38,518
(GRUNTS)

1720
01:21:38,686 --> 01:21:41,104
Okay, so I'm not great
with children.

1721
01:21:41,730 --> 01:21:43,523
Does that make me a bad Santa?

1722
01:21:44,984 --> 01:21:46,150
You're hardly perfect.

1723
01:21:46,318 --> 01:21:49,445
Let me guess. You put in the address,
you saw a list of Trelews

1724
01:21:49,613 --> 01:21:51,531
and just clicked
on the first one?

1725
01:21:51,699 --> 01:21:53,157
You're just like Arthur.

1726
01:21:54,243 --> 01:21:55,743
Am I?
COMPUTER: North Pole,

1727
01:21:59,373 --> 01:22:00,373
DEBORAH:
But, sir,

1728
01:22:00,541 --> 01:22:03,251
it's Arthur. He's still going.

1729
01:22:03,419 --> 01:22:05,920
ELVES (CHANTING):
Arthur! Arthur! Arthur!

1730
01:22:07,047 --> 01:22:08,339
Arthur?

1731
01:22:08,716 --> 01:22:09,632
(♪♪♪)

1732
01:22:09,800 --> 01:22:10,675
Yah!

1733
01:22:10,884 --> 01:22:13,886
No one gets an unwrapped present
on my watch.

1734
01:22:16,974 --> 01:22:18,433
Three bits of sticky tape.

1735
01:22:18,809 --> 01:22:19,976
Three.

1736
01:22:20,769 --> 01:22:22,103
Stand up!

1737
01:22:25,190 --> 01:22:26,024
Finger!

1738
01:22:27,818 --> 01:22:28,860
ARTHUR:
The church!

1739
01:22:30,029 --> 01:22:32,614
Whoa!

1740
01:22:33,907 --> 01:22:35,283
Right foot.

1741
01:22:36,619 --> 01:22:37,952
Left foot.

1742
01:22:38,954 --> 01:22:39,746
ARTHUR:
There it is!

1743
01:22:43,542 --> 01:22:44,709
One!

1744
01:22:48,130 --> 01:22:49,047
Hands up!

1745
01:22:49,214 --> 01:22:50,840
(YELLING)

1746
01:22:54,595 --> 01:22:55,720
Whoa!

1747
01:22:57,389 --> 01:22:58,181
Whoa.

1748
01:22:58,891 --> 01:22:59,849
ELVES (CHANTING):
Arthur!

1749
01:23:00,017 --> 01:23:02,435
Arthur! Arthur! Arthur!

1750
01:23:02,603 --> 01:23:03,311
Nearly there!

1751
01:23:05,522 --> 01:23:06,898
BRYONY:
Front wheel!

1752
01:23:09,943 --> 01:23:10,818
Unh!
Whoa!

1753
01:23:13,072 --> 01:23:14,155
Two!
Yes!

1754
01:23:15,699 --> 01:23:16,491
That's it, there!

1755
01:23:17,493 --> 01:23:18,576
BRYONY:
Whoa!

1756
01:23:19,870 --> 01:23:20,745
Back wheel!

1757
01:23:21,997 --> 01:23:23,665
Ready?
Do it!

1758
01:23:25,417 --> 01:23:26,084
Whoa, whoa, whoa!

1759
01:23:27,628 --> 01:23:29,003
Here we go!

1760
01:23:30,756 --> 01:23:32,048
(BOTH SCREAMING)

1761
01:23:33,634 --> 01:23:34,300
(SQUEAKING)

1762
01:23:39,973 --> 01:23:40,932
Three!

1763
01:23:44,186 --> 01:23:45,186
(BRYONY GROANS)

1764
01:23:45,646 --> 01:23:47,105
Elf down.

1765
01:23:47,481 --> 01:23:48,523
Bryony?

1766
01:23:48,732 --> 01:23:51,234
Go on, Arthur. Quick!

1767
01:23:52,319 --> 01:23:54,362
There's always time for a bow.

1768
01:23:56,198 --> 01:23:58,074
(♪♪♪)

1769
01:24:03,706 --> 01:24:06,708
No, we can't be too late.

1770
01:24:12,923 --> 01:24:14,924
(♪♪♪)

1771
01:24:23,225 --> 01:24:24,350
(ARTHUR GRUNTING)

1772
01:24:26,478 --> 01:24:27,729
(♪♪♪)

1773
01:24:30,482 --> 01:24:32,400
Unh. It's so unfair.

1774
01:24:33,444 --> 01:24:34,110
(GRUNTS)

1775
01:24:35,028 --> 01:24:37,321
Ho, ho, ho!

1776
01:24:37,656 --> 01:24:39,782
Merry Christmas!

1777
01:24:41,785 --> 01:24:44,203
ELVES:
♪ I'm dreaming of a white Christmas ♪ ♪

1778
01:24:44,496 --> 01:24:46,748
All the Santas
taking the missing present.

1779
01:24:46,915 --> 01:24:48,082
It's beautiful!

1780
01:24:48,250 --> 01:24:50,543
Hug me. Hug me. Aah!

1781
01:24:55,674 --> 01:24:56,966
(TOY SQUEAKS)

1782
01:24:57,968 --> 01:25:00,136
(GRUNTS
THEN CHUCKLES)

1783
01:25:05,601 --> 01:25:07,185
(♪♪♪)

1784
01:25:25,454 --> 01:25:26,537
(WHISPERS)
Dad!

1785
01:25:26,705 --> 01:25:29,707
You came! I knew you would.

1786
01:25:29,875 --> 01:25:32,543
You wouldn't just go to bed
and forget Gwen.

1787
01:25:34,338 --> 01:25:36,798
You're Santa!

1788
01:25:42,805 --> 01:25:44,013
STEVE (WHISPERING):
Give me that.

1789
01:25:44,181 --> 01:25:45,932
I'm Santa! I'm delivering it!

1790
01:25:46,099 --> 01:25:49,101
(WHISPERING) Don't be silly, I'm Santa.
Can't you see from me suit?

1791
01:25:49,269 --> 01:25:51,729
(WHISPERING) I am actually Santa,
and I think it would be best...

1792
01:25:51,897 --> 01:25:53,731
I'm Santa! You handed over!

1793
01:25:53,899 --> 01:25:56,609
I didn't, in fact, technically...
You said I could drive!

1794
01:25:56,777 --> 01:26:00,238
I'm Santa, you naughty boys.
Here, have a bonbon.

1795
01:26:00,405 --> 01:26:01,239
You...

1796
01:26:01,406 --> 01:26:02,573
Shh!

1797
01:26:03,617 --> 01:26:04,992
GWEN:
It's Christmas!

1798
01:26:05,953 --> 01:26:07,286
ARTHUR:
Please.

1799
01:26:08,205 --> 01:26:11,624
Gwen just has to have a present
from Santa.

1800
01:26:17,464 --> 01:26:19,382
You do it, Arthur.

1801
01:26:21,343 --> 01:26:23,427
GWEN:
Mummy! Daddy! Wake up!

1802
01:26:25,305 --> 01:26:26,681
(♪♪♪)

1803
01:26:34,064 --> 01:26:35,022
Ho, ho, ho!

1804
01:26:35,274 --> 01:26:37,483
GWEN:
There's a ribbon! To downstairs!

1805
01:26:38,569 --> 01:26:42,363
SANTA: Father, please keep it down.
Merry Christmas, everyone.

1806
01:26:42,948 --> 01:26:44,156
STEVE: Unh!
Oh.

1807
01:26:44,324 --> 01:26:44,991
Dad, wait.

1808
01:26:46,410 --> 01:26:48,202
Please, let's...

1809
01:26:49,413 --> 01:26:50,496
Oh.

1810
01:26:50,664 --> 01:26:54,584
In all my years, I've never actually...

1811
01:26:55,919 --> 01:26:57,879
Always so busy.

1812
01:26:58,046 --> 01:27:00,047
(♪♪♪)

1813
01:27:01,967 --> 01:27:03,342
Too busy.

1814
01:27:04,469 --> 01:27:06,262
I'm not good at...

1815
01:27:09,600 --> 01:27:13,436
In my day, a pat on the back
and a walnut went a long way.

1816
01:27:14,396 --> 01:27:17,857
GWEN: Mummy, Daddy, come on!
Look, a ribbon to downstairs!

1817
01:27:18,025 --> 01:27:20,484
DAD: Come on, then.
GWEN: I think it's under the tree!

1818
01:27:20,652 --> 01:27:22,153
Oh, look!

1819
01:27:22,696 --> 01:27:23,821
What is it?

1820
01:27:23,989 --> 01:27:25,740
I can see pink!

1821
01:27:26,992 --> 01:27:29,285
It's a bike!

1822
01:27:29,995 --> 01:27:31,120
Oh! Heh.

1823
01:27:31,288 --> 01:27:34,373
Santa brought me
the bike I wanted!

1824
01:27:34,541 --> 01:27:35,458
MOM:
Did he?

1825
01:27:35,626 --> 01:27:39,128
GWEN: Oh. Can I have a go? Please,
please, please? Ha-ha-ha.

1826
01:27:39,421 --> 01:27:40,087
Steve,

1827
01:27:40,672 --> 01:27:42,882
you deserve to be Santa.

1828
01:27:50,641 --> 01:27:52,099
But, Steve,

1829
01:27:52,267 --> 01:27:56,479
I wonder if Gwen is right.

1830
01:27:56,647 --> 01:27:57,480
(BICYCLE BELL RINGING)

1831
01:27:57,648 --> 01:27:59,357
(GWEN GIGGLING)

1832
01:27:59,524 --> 01:28:02,109
GWEN:
Watch out. Beep, beep. Careful,

1833
01:28:02,277 --> 01:28:03,778
I'm gonna bump into you.

1834
01:28:08,241 --> 01:28:09,575
Oh, no.

1835
01:28:16,124 --> 01:28:17,667
(♪♪♪)

1836
01:28:19,336 --> 01:28:22,171
I'll be the candle, eh?

1837
01:28:26,051 --> 01:28:27,343
Whoopee!

1838
01:28:31,640 --> 01:28:34,141
You're better men than...

1839
01:28:34,309 --> 01:28:35,643
(SNIFFLES)

1840
01:28:35,811 --> 01:28:37,228
Both of you.

1841
01:28:37,771 --> 01:28:40,648
GWEN:
Oh! A bike and

1842
01:28:40,816 --> 01:28:42,233
a squirrel!
Huh?

1843
01:28:42,401 --> 01:28:43,526
GWEN: Oh!
DAD: Whoa!

1844
01:28:45,737 --> 01:28:47,363
Drop complete.

1845
01:28:49,032 --> 01:28:51,409
And we have a new Santa!

1846
01:28:51,576 --> 01:28:52,243
(ALL CHEERING)

1847
01:28:52,411 --> 01:28:53,828
COMPUTER:
Christmas accomplished.

1848
01:28:53,996 --> 01:28:54,870
ELF:
Arthur!

1849
01:28:55,288 --> 01:28:57,707
Oh, Arthur.
COMPUTER: Commence

1850
01:28:57,874 --> 01:28:59,333
decking halls.

1851
01:28:59,501 --> 01:29:03,713
You know, I've always liked Arthur.
Do you think he likes espresso?

1852
01:29:06,258 --> 01:29:06,924
(GRUNTS)

1853
01:29:14,433 --> 01:29:15,349
(GASPS)

1854
01:29:16,476 --> 01:29:17,935
Oh? Oh!

1855
01:29:19,479 --> 01:29:20,187
(GIGGLING)

1856
01:29:20,355 --> 01:29:21,188
(BICYCLE BELL RINGING)

1857
01:29:21,606 --> 01:29:23,107
(♪♪♪)

1858
01:29:49,509 --> 01:29:52,511
(BILL NIGHY'S "MAKE
SOMEONE HAPPY" PLAYING)

1859
01:29:57,768 --> 01:30:01,312
♪ It's so important
To make someone happy ♪

1860
01:30:02,105 --> 01:30:05,566
♪ Make just one someone happy ♪

1861
01:30:06,234 --> 01:30:10,112
♪ Make just one heart
The heart you ♪

1862
01:30:11,531 --> 01:30:13,783
♪ You sing to ♪

1863
01:30:14,076 --> 01:30:18,204
♪ One smile that cheers you ♪

1864
01:30:18,747 --> 01:30:22,291
♪ One face that lights
When it nears you ♪

1865
01:30:22,876 --> 01:30:24,752
♪ One girl you're ♪

1866
01:30:25,545 --> 01:30:29,548
♪ You're everything to ♪

1867
01:30:30,550 --> 01:30:34,553
♪ Fame, if you win it ♪

1868
01:30:35,180 --> 01:30:38,974
♪ Comes and goes in a minute ♪

1869
01:30:39,476 --> 01:30:42,853
♪ Where's the real stuff in life ♪

1870
01:30:44,022 --> 01:30:46,273
♪ To cling to? ♪

1871
01:30:47,484 --> 01:30:51,654
♪ Love is the answer ♪

1872
01:30:52,280 --> 01:30:56,325
♪ Someone to love is the answer ♪

1873
01:30:57,119 --> 01:30:59,995
♪ Once you've found her ♪

1874
01:31:00,664 --> 01:31:03,958
♪ Build your world around her ♪

1875
01:31:04,459 --> 01:31:08,504
♪ Make someone happy ♪

1876
01:31:09,047 --> 01:31:12,883
♪ Make just one someone happy ♪

1877
01:31:13,510 --> 01:31:17,847
♪ And you will be happy too ♪ ♪

1878
01:31:23,979 --> 01:31:28,232
COMPUTER: And may 100 percent
of your Christmases be white.

1879
01:31:29,609 --> 01:31:31,610
(♪♪♪)

1880
01:32:54,110 --> 01:32:57,112
(JUSTIN BIEBER'S "SANTA CLAUS
IS COMIN' TO TOWN" PLAYING)

1881
01:32:58,073 --> 01:32:59,365
♪ Santa's comin', girl ♪

1882
01:33:01,284 --> 01:33:03,035
♪ Santa's comin' to town ♪

1883
01:33:03,495 --> 01:33:06,330
♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪

1884
01:33:06,706 --> 01:33:08,457
♪ Yeah ♪

1885
01:33:10,460 --> 01:33:12,002
♪ Santa Claus is comin' to town ♪

1886
01:33:12,712 --> 01:33:14,213
♪ You better watch out ♪

1887
01:33:15,006 --> 01:33:16,548
♪ You better not cry ♪

1888
01:33:17,467 --> 01:33:18,759
♪ Better not pout ♪

1889
01:33:19,344 --> 01:33:21,011
♪ I'm telling you why ♪

1890
01:33:21,930 --> 01:33:24,056
♪ Santa Claus is comin' to town ♪

1891
01:33:24,224 --> 01:33:25,683
♪ Santa's comin' to town ♪

1892
01:33:26,559 --> 01:33:30,437
♪ He's making a list
He's checking it twice ♪

1893
01:33:30,981 --> 01:33:35,484
♪ He's gonna find out
Who's naughty and nice ♪

1894
01:33:35,694 --> 01:33:37,736
♪ Santa Claus is comin' to town ♪

1895
01:33:37,904 --> 01:33:39,697
♪ Santa's comin' to town ♪

1896
01:33:40,115 --> 01:33:44,451
♪ He sees you when you're sleeping
He knows when you're awake ♪

1897
01:33:44,619 --> 01:33:46,620
♪ He knows when you've
Been bad or good ♪

1898
01:33:46,788 --> 01:33:48,831
♪ So be good for goodness sake ♪

1899
01:33:49,374 --> 01:33:51,333
♪ You better watch out
You better not cry ♪

1900
01:33:51,626 --> 01:33:53,794
♪ You better not pout
I'm telling you why ♪

1901
01:33:54,004 --> 01:33:56,088
♪ Santa Claus is comin' to town ♪

1902
01:33:56,256 --> 01:34:04,256
♪ Santa's comin' to town ♪

1903
01:34:07,684 --> 01:34:09,226
♪ You better watch out ♪

1904
01:34:09,978 --> 01:34:11,979
♪ You better not cry ♪

1905
01:34:12,314 --> 01:34:13,605
♪ You better not pout ♪

1906
01:34:14,232 --> 01:34:15,858
♪ I'm telling you why ♪

1907
01:34:16,818 --> 01:34:18,944
♪ Santa Claus is comin' to town ♪

1908
01:34:19,112 --> 01:34:20,821
♪ Santa's comin' to town ♪

1909
01:34:21,364 --> 01:34:23,157
♪ He's making a list ♪

1910
01:34:23,408 --> 01:34:24,950
♪ And checking it twice ♪

1911
01:34:26,036 --> 01:34:29,538
♪ He's gonna find out
Who's naughty and nice ♪

1912
01:34:30,582 --> 01:34:32,750
♪ Santa Claus is comin' to town ♪

1913
01:34:32,917 --> 01:34:34,668
♪ Santa's comin' to town ♪

1914
01:34:34,919 --> 01:34:39,506
♪ He sees you when you're sleeping
He knows when you're awake ♪

1915
01:34:39,674 --> 01:34:41,550
♪ He knows when you've
Been bad or good ♪

1916
01:34:41,718 --> 01:34:43,802
♪ So be good for goodness sake ♪

1917
01:34:44,304 --> 01:34:46,305
♪ You better watch out
You better not cry ♪

1918
01:34:46,473 --> 01:34:48,724
♪ You better not pout
I'm telling you why ♪

1919
01:34:48,892 --> 01:34:51,018
♪ Santa Claus is comin' to town ♪

1920
01:34:51,186 --> 01:34:52,686
♪ Santa's comin' to town ♪

1921
01:34:54,939 --> 01:34:56,231
♪ So it's that time of year ♪

1922
01:34:57,067 --> 01:34:58,776
♪ Where you let all your problems go ♪

1923
01:35:00,153 --> 01:35:01,570
♪ And, you know, you just ♪

1924
01:35:02,614 --> 01:35:10,614
♪ Shake it, shake it, baby
Shake it, shake it, baby ♪

1925
01:35:20,799 --> 01:35:24,843
♪ He sees you when you're sleeping
He knows when you're awake ♪

1926
01:35:25,303 --> 01:35:27,304
♪ He knows when you've
Been bad or good ♪

1927
01:35:27,472 --> 01:35:29,473
♪ So be good for goodness sake ♪

1928
01:35:30,058 --> 01:35:32,101
♪ You better watch out
You better not cry ♪

1929
01:35:32,268 --> 01:35:34,311
♪ You better not pout
I'm telling you why ♪

1930
01:35:34,646 --> 01:35:36,772
♪ Santa Claus is comin' to town ♪

1931
01:35:36,940 --> 01:35:38,440
♪ Santa's comin' to town ♪

1932
01:35:39,275 --> 01:35:41,318
♪ He's making a list
He's checking it twice ♪

1933
01:35:41,486 --> 01:35:43,612
♪ He's gonna find out
Who's naughty and nice ♪

1934
01:35:43,822 --> 01:35:51,245
♪ Santa Claus is comin' ♪

1935
01:35:51,413 --> 01:35:54,123
♪ To town ♪
♪ Santa Claus is comin' to town ♪

1936
01:35:54,290 --> 01:35:58,460
♪ Santa Claus is comin' to town ♪

1937
01:35:58,628 --> 01:36:00,212
♪ Santa's comin' to town ♪ ♪

1938
01:36:05,635 --> 01:36:07,636
(♪♪♪)

1939
01:36:07,661 --> 01:36:09,661
(ENGLISH - US PSDH)