1 00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:12,074 Advertise your product or brand here contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today 2 00:00:40,206 --> 00:00:42,808 How do you want me? 3 00:00:42,843 --> 00:00:46,930 Oh, that's good. Yeah, just... Just get comfortable. 4 00:00:49,933 --> 00:00:51,810 I'm a little nervous. 5 00:00:52,019 --> 00:00:53,520 You're doing great. 6 00:00:56,940 --> 00:00:59,234 A little to the right there, gorgeous. 7 00:00:59,443 --> 00:01:02,821 - Okay. Like this? - Oh, that a girl. 8 00:01:08,119 --> 00:01:10,622 Yeah. Okay. 9 00:01:10,830 --> 00:01:12,832 - You ready? - Yeah. 10 00:01:13,041 --> 00:01:15,543 - You're blushing, Dorothy. - Don't blush, Kathy. 11 00:01:15,710 --> 00:01:17,545 Oh, Kathy. 12 00:01:18,546 --> 00:01:21,049 Okay, and big smile. 13 00:01:21,716 --> 00:01:23,134 Kathy Regan. 14 00:01:23,343 --> 00:01:25,011 I will always remember... 15 00:01:25,428 --> 00:01:27,138 ...the game against Fairfield. 16 00:01:27,347 --> 00:01:29,140 That one final kick. 17 00:01:29,349 --> 00:01:31,935 State champion, senior year. 18 00:01:32,310 --> 00:01:34,020 Hunter McCaffrey. 19 00:01:34,437 --> 00:01:35,939 I will always remember... 20 00:01:36,147 --> 00:01:38,942 ...all the great times with the dirty dozen... 21 00:01:39,150 --> 00:01:41,319 ...and macking all the honeys. 22 00:01:42,528 --> 00:01:44,322 Cindy K. Tina B. 23 00:01:44,530 --> 00:01:46,617 Michelle H. Goddamn! 24 00:01:46,951 --> 00:01:48,327 Just too many to remember. 25 00:01:49,536 --> 00:01:53,123 I'll always remember lacrosse champions. 26 00:01:54,124 --> 00:01:56,335 All the glory days with the boys. 27 00:01:56,543 --> 00:01:57,920 I will always remember... 28 00:01:58,629 --> 00:02:00,422 ...the math-club madmen... 29 00:02:01,632 --> 00:02:03,550 ...making the perfect fake ID's... 30 00:02:04,051 --> 00:02:06,345 ...which lasted six seconds 31 00:02:07,721 --> 00:02:10,140 - Troy Cochran. - Troy Cochran. 32 00:02:10,349 --> 00:02:11,850 - Troy gives good head. - Fuck you! 33 00:02:12,226 --> 00:02:13,727 I'll always remember... 34 00:02:13,936 --> 00:02:15,521 Seniors! 35 00:02:15,813 --> 00:02:17,940 ...the senior prank. 36 00:03:23,215 --> 00:03:26,719 Matthew Kidman. I will always remember... 37 00:03:33,434 --> 00:03:35,353 YEARBOOK MEMORIES FORM SENIORS ONLY! 38 00:03:35,519 --> 00:03:37,939 MATTHEW KIDMAN I'll always remember... 39 00:03:47,531 --> 00:03:50,452 Yeah, well, I told you I wanted to try out. 40 00:03:54,331 --> 00:03:56,416 We'd like to honor a student... 41 00:03:56,541 --> 00:03:59,836 ...who has shown outstanding leadership. 42 00:04:00,921 --> 00:04:02,714 We have no doubt that he will be one... 43 00:04:02,839 --> 00:04:04,549 ...of the great politicians in Washington. 44 00:04:04,716 --> 00:04:06,051 Georgetown UNIVERSITY 45 00:04:06,218 --> 00:04:09,846 The award for the brightest leader... 46 00:04:09,930 --> 00:04:11,932 ...of tomorrow, Matthew Kidman. 47 00:04:14,726 --> 00:04:17,020 - I'm in! I'm in! - Oh, my God! Oh, my God! 48 00:04:18,355 --> 00:04:19,940 Georgetown! They gave it to you! 49 00:04:58,021 --> 00:04:59,731 Hey, Jenny. 50 00:05:01,941 --> 00:05:04,027 Yeah, dude, come on. 51 00:05:14,622 --> 00:05:17,124 SENIOR PROM DO YOU HAVE THE FEVER? 52 00:05:18,751 --> 00:05:21,337 - Do you have the fever? - No. 53 00:05:22,254 --> 00:05:24,048 Why? Do you? 54 00:05:24,757 --> 00:05:26,717 I don't know. Maybe. 55 00:05:27,635 --> 00:05:29,219 How about you? 56 00:05:29,637 --> 00:05:31,555 I just gotta fuck something. 57 00:05:31,722 --> 00:05:34,350 I said, everybody say, "Ho!" 58 00:05:40,147 --> 00:05:41,523 You know what I say? 59 00:05:41,732 --> 00:05:45,653 I say, this prom is gonna be off the hook! Do you feel me? 60 00:05:51,952 --> 00:05:54,621 Security's gonna be tight. Get wasted before you show up. 61 00:05:56,039 --> 00:05:57,749 That's enough! 62 00:05:57,958 --> 00:06:00,418 That's enough. I can wait. 63 00:06:00,627 --> 00:06:03,255 I can wait, people. 64 00:06:04,422 --> 00:06:07,342 Now, it is your student-council president... 65 00:06:07,425 --> 00:06:09,928 ...who has a few announcements to make. 66 00:06:12,055 --> 00:06:13,431 Thanks, Mr. Salinger. 67 00:06:18,353 --> 00:06:20,647 All right, how you doing? 68 00:06:22,649 --> 00:06:25,527 Okay, let's start off with Operation Get Samnang. 69 00:06:25,735 --> 00:06:27,737 Sam Young, baby! 70 00:06:28,822 --> 00:06:30,156 Yeah. 71 00:06:31,157 --> 00:06:35,037 Well, we did it. We raised the 25,000 dollars... 72 00:06:35,246 --> 00:06:38,457 ...so now we can bring the genius Samnang out of Cambodia... 73 00:06:38,624 --> 00:06:40,543 ...and bring him here to study at Westport. 74 00:06:43,254 --> 00:06:47,049 Speaking of which, Samnang sent us a new tape. 75 00:06:47,258 --> 00:06:49,051 Show that shit! 76 00:06:51,220 --> 00:06:52,638 Show it! 77 00:06:53,139 --> 00:06:55,850 Hi, everyone, it's Samnang. 78 00:06:57,852 --> 00:06:59,645 Sam Young! 79 00:06:59,854 --> 00:07:03,649 I am very excited to be coming soon. Are you excited? 80 00:07:08,154 --> 00:07:11,741 I told my class that I am coming to America. They were sad. 81 00:07:11,949 --> 00:07:13,326 I am so happy. 82 00:07:13,534 --> 00:07:16,038 - I wanna bang you! - Go, Cougars! 83 00:07:31,219 --> 00:07:33,847 How do they just skip class every day and go to the beach? 84 00:07:34,431 --> 00:07:36,225 Because they just don't care. 85 00:07:47,736 --> 00:07:49,154 Let's go with them. 86 00:07:50,656 --> 00:07:52,950 - Seriously, let's just do it. - Why? 87 00:07:53,325 --> 00:07:55,828 Because, I mean, we never do anything. 88 00:07:56,037 --> 00:07:59,040 I mean, we're graduating. We should be going nuts right now. 89 00:07:59,249 --> 00:08:00,541 Let's just do something. 90 00:08:00,750 --> 00:08:02,752 I am doing something, I'm going to class. 91 00:08:03,127 --> 00:08:05,129 Klitz, you already got into Yale. 92 00:08:05,255 --> 00:08:06,839 I mean, it doesn't matter anymore. 93 00:08:07,048 --> 00:08:08,549 Yeah, Klitz, you pussy. 94 00:08:08,758 --> 00:08:11,552 - Well, why don't you go? - Yeah, come on. Let's go. 95 00:08:11,719 --> 00:08:13,638 Beach is for fags, man. 96 00:08:13,846 --> 00:08:16,349 - The beach is for fags? - Yeah. 97 00:08:17,559 --> 00:08:20,436 You know what? You guys are fags. 98 00:08:25,233 --> 00:08:26,442 Everyone to the beach! 99 00:08:28,444 --> 00:08:30,822 Let's go! Lock them and load them, dude. 100 00:08:32,240 --> 00:08:33,533 WESTPORT HIGH SCHOOL 101 00:08:35,243 --> 00:08:36,829 Fuck it. 102 00:08:55,723 --> 00:08:57,349 SCHOOL SECURITY 103 00:08:57,641 --> 00:09:00,352 Personal power means the ability to act... 104 00:09:00,436 --> 00:09:03,147 ...the ability to take action. 105 00:09:03,355 --> 00:09:05,232 STOP CHECK-OUT WITH SECURITY 106 00:09:05,441 --> 00:09:08,027 Three steps to personal power are necessary for results. 107 00:09:08,235 --> 00:09:09,862 Here's number one step to personal power. 108 00:09:09,945 --> 00:09:12,531 It's called energy. Energy. 109 00:09:12,740 --> 00:09:15,534 When you wake up feeling really lethargic, really lousy... 110 00:09:15,743 --> 00:09:17,954 ...do you usually jump up and go-? 111 00:09:27,130 --> 00:09:28,423 Oh, shit. 112 00:09:48,944 --> 00:09:51,363 Hey! Pull it over! 113 00:09:53,031 --> 00:09:55,033 Pull it over! Pull- 114 00:10:26,023 --> 00:10:27,525 Oh, well, you're home early. 115 00:10:27,858 --> 00:10:30,027 I postponed yearbook. I gotta work on my speech 116 00:10:30,236 --> 00:10:32,530 - Hi, Mr. Peterson. - Mr. President. 117 00:10:32,863 --> 00:10:34,740 - Mrs. Peterson. - Congratulations. 118 00:10:34,949 --> 00:10:37,827 - Oh, thank you. - Congratulations. Georgetown. 119 00:10:38,035 --> 00:10:40,831 Wow, you must be flying. 120 00:10:41,039 --> 00:10:41,957 It's cool. 121 00:10:42,040 --> 00:10:43,458 What's the speech you're working on? 122 00:10:43,625 --> 00:10:46,461 Oh, it's for this scholarship I need to get so I can... 123 00:10:46,545 --> 00:10:48,630 ...actually go to Georgetown. 124 00:10:48,839 --> 00:10:50,424 It's pretty expensive. 125 00:10:50,632 --> 00:10:52,634 What kind of scholarship is it? 126 00:10:52,669 --> 00:10:53,343 What do they give it for? 127 00:10:53,552 --> 00:10:58,140 It's for the student who best demonstrates moral fiber. 128 00:10:58,348 --> 00:11:00,225 Oh, moral fiber. Well, that's- 129 00:11:00,642 --> 00:11:03,228 - Oh, I'm sure you'll get it. - Thanks. I mean, I hope so. 130 00:11:03,437 --> 00:11:04,855 I mean, there's some stiff Competition... 131 00:11:04,938 --> 00:11:07,441 ...and they only pick one of us... 132 00:11:07,649 --> 00:11:11,028 ...so I'll just have to blow them away with my speech. 133 00:11:14,364 --> 00:11:17,951 Okay, so why do I deserve this scholarship? 134 00:11:18,160 --> 00:11:20,162 1. MAKE EYE CONTACT 2. BE CHARMING 3. JFK! 135 00:11:20,329 --> 00:11:22,957 ...can do for you but what you can do..." 136 00:11:23,041 --> 00:11:25,627 John F. Kennedy once said, "Ask not what 137 00:12:00,453 --> 00:12:01,955 Look, I don't know who she is. 138 00:12:02,164 --> 00:12:05,251 I'm just saying that this girl was unbelievable. 139 00:12:05,459 --> 00:12:07,836 I mean, she was like this angel. 140 00:12:08,045 --> 00:12:11,632 I mean, she had this smile. I mean, you should have seen it. 141 00:12:11,840 --> 00:12:15,052 - So did you bang her? - Oh, yeah, yeah. I banged her. 142 00:12:15,344 --> 00:12:16,929 That's what a man does, okay? 143 00:12:17,137 --> 00:12:20,140 - Yeah. Okay, Eli. - Good. 144 00:12:23,560 --> 00:12:25,354 Oh, my God. She's so hot. 145 00:12:25,563 --> 00:12:28,440 - What channel, dude? - No, the girl next door. 146 00:12:28,649 --> 00:12:30,234 I can see her through my window. 147 00:12:30,442 --> 00:12:31,735 How's the rack? 148 00:12:32,027 --> 00:12:35,239 - God, who is this girl? - How's the rack? 149 00:12:35,447 --> 00:12:37,157 - Hold on. Relax. - No. You relax. 150 00:12:37,366 --> 00:12:39,326 Be a man and go over there. 151 00:12:39,535 --> 00:12:40,953 Okay. Say what? 152 00:12:41,161 --> 00:12:43,748 I don't know. Get off your ass and do something. Fuck! 153 00:12:48,837 --> 00:12:50,547 - Hey, what are you doing? - What? 154 00:12:50,755 --> 00:12:52,549 Hey, dude, seriously, I told you... 155 00:12:52,757 --> 00:12:54,968 ...it really freaks me out when you watch that while... 156 00:12:55,051 --> 00:12:56,344 ...you're talking to me. 157 00:12:56,553 --> 00:12:58,847 Just learn to like it. 158 00:13:04,227 --> 00:13:06,855 Oh, my God. 159 00:13:07,063 --> 00:13:09,357 What? Matt, what? 160 00:13:09,566 --> 00:13:10,859 Matt! 161 00:13:17,032 --> 00:13:19,159 Dude, what the fuck? 162 00:13:38,554 --> 00:13:39,931 Shit! 163 00:14:10,462 --> 00:14:12,631 - Yes? - I'm sorry. 164 00:14:14,258 --> 00:14:17,052 - Dan. - What's going on? 165 00:14:17,552 --> 00:14:18,262 Matthew! 166 00:14:19,263 --> 00:14:21,556 Matthew, come down here. 167 00:14:33,151 --> 00:14:35,654 - What are you doing up there? - Nothing. 168 00:14:35,862 --> 00:14:37,864 Come down here. 169 00:14:45,330 --> 00:14:46,665 This is Danielle. 170 00:14:46,833 --> 00:14:50,753 You know Mrs. Clark from next door. Danielle's her niece. 171 00:14:51,462 --> 00:14:53,840 Danielle just told us something very interesting. 172 00:14:54,841 --> 00:14:58,469 Mrs. Clark is in Africa for two weeks with her church group. 173 00:14:58,636 --> 00:14:59,971 Did you know that? 174 00:15:01,347 --> 00:15:03,850 Anyway, Danielle just came in from Los Angeles... 175 00:15:04,058 --> 00:15:06,853 ...and she's housesitting while her aunt's away. 176 00:15:07,061 --> 00:15:08,563 Why don't you show her around. 177 00:15:18,740 --> 00:15:21,034 Such a long road, you know. 178 00:15:29,543 --> 00:15:32,755 - What are we doing? - Did you like what you saw? 179 00:15:33,172 --> 00:15:35,132 What are you talking about? 180 00:15:37,134 --> 00:15:40,471 Okay, I saw you for, like, an instant. 181 00:15:40,638 --> 00:15:42,139 - An instant? - Yeah. 182 00:15:42,348 --> 00:15:43,849 It was no big deal. 183 00:15:45,559 --> 00:15:50,230 No, no, it was- It was a big deal, but it's just that... 184 00:15:50,439 --> 00:15:52,233 I didn't... 185 00:15:55,069 --> 00:15:56,862 I'm sorry. 186 00:15:57,071 --> 00:15:58,656 I'm sorry. 187 00:16:00,241 --> 00:16:01,951 So, what are we gonna do about this? 188 00:16:03,744 --> 00:16:05,871 I mean, I said I was sorry. 189 00:16:10,168 --> 00:16:11,544 What? 190 00:16:11,753 --> 00:16:13,046 You saw me... 191 00:16:15,465 --> 00:16:17,759 Yeah, right, like I'm gonna strip right here? 192 00:16:21,346 --> 00:16:22,847 Are you serious? 193 00:16:26,059 --> 00:16:27,769 No. 194 00:16:28,853 --> 00:16:31,564 No. No, never gonna happen. 195 00:16:34,734 --> 00:16:36,570 The whole package. 196 00:16:36,736 --> 00:16:38,363 No, come on, this is good enough. 197 00:16:40,949 --> 00:16:43,243 Jesus! Come on, will you relax? 198 00:16:45,662 --> 00:16:47,247 Frigging psycho. 199 00:16:54,755 --> 00:16:57,049 There. You happy now? 200 00:17:02,263 --> 00:17:03,556 Yep. 201 00:17:05,433 --> 00:17:08,060 Hey! Wait! 202 00:17:08,769 --> 00:17:10,771 No! 203 00:17:12,064 --> 00:17:14,734 Jesus. Sorry. 204 00:17:23,451 --> 00:17:25,536 You're an asshole. It's not funny. 205 00:17:25,745 --> 00:17:27,747 It's a little funny. 206 00:17:30,750 --> 00:17:32,169 Come on. 207 00:17:32,336 --> 00:17:34,671 Let me in. Let me in. 208 00:17:46,350 --> 00:17:48,060 It's not funny. 209 00:17:48,268 --> 00:17:49,937 It's a little funny. 210 00:18:01,240 --> 00:18:04,243 So, what else do you do besides torture people? 211 00:18:06,370 --> 00:18:08,664 - Seriously, what's your story? - I don't know. 212 00:18:09,748 --> 00:18:11,458 I kind of just quit my job. 213 00:18:12,459 --> 00:18:15,338 I want to start over. Maybe go to college. 214 00:18:20,760 --> 00:18:25,473 So are you here alone or what? 215 00:18:25,640 --> 00:18:27,767 - What? - Just ask. 216 00:18:33,356 --> 00:18:36,567 Do you have a boyfriend? 217 00:18:37,443 --> 00:18:38,945 No. 218 00:18:41,239 --> 00:18:44,867 Aren't you gonna ask me if I have a girlfriend? 219 00:18:46,869 --> 00:18:48,037 No. 01:18:45.04:18:46.13 Okay. 220 00:18:48,371 --> 00:18:51,374 So you're about to graduate. You must be going nuts right now. 221 00:18:53,167 --> 00:18:54,545 Yeah. 222 00:18:54,753 --> 00:18:58,966 I mean, it's just been off the hook, you know? 223 00:18:59,258 --> 00:19:00,843 - Really? - Yeah. 224 00:19:02,052 --> 00:19:04,346 So, what's the craziest thing you've done lately? 225 00:19:04,555 --> 00:19:07,057 Oh, I mean, it's hard to tell, you know, because we- 226 00:19:07,266 --> 00:19:09,852 I've just done so much nuts stuff. I mean... 227 00:19:10,352 --> 00:19:13,272 It's just off the hook, off the walls. I mean... 228 00:19:13,439 --> 00:19:16,066 You haven't done anything, have you? 229 00:19:17,276 --> 00:19:18,569 No. 230 00:19:19,445 --> 00:19:22,239 It's kind of- It's kind of been my problem lately. 231 00:19:22,448 --> 00:19:24,867 Come on, there's gotta be something. 232 00:19:25,659 --> 00:19:27,161 What about your girlfriend? 233 00:19:30,164 --> 00:19:31,373 Okay. 234 00:19:31,540 --> 00:19:34,543 We can figure this out. You just need a girl. 235 00:19:34,960 --> 00:19:36,963 What kind of girl? 236 00:19:38,465 --> 00:19:40,175 Definitely someone cute. 237 00:19:40,675 --> 00:19:42,344 Definitely. 238 00:19:43,345 --> 00:19:45,847 Someone who can make him laugh. 239 00:19:48,350 --> 00:19:50,560 But he also needs someone who's gonna push him. 240 00:19:52,062 --> 00:19:53,939 Someone who's gonna make him do... 241 00:19:54,064 --> 00:19:55,941 ...things he never thought he could do. 242 00:19:56,775 --> 00:19:59,653 Like stripping in the middle of the street? 243 00:20:22,343 --> 00:20:25,346 - Well, thanks for the ride. - No problem. 244 00:20:33,271 --> 00:20:35,064 Well... 245 00:20:36,274 --> 00:20:37,858 ...good night. 246 00:20:38,067 --> 00:20:39,443 Good night. 247 00:20:44,657 --> 00:20:45,658 "Good night"? What are you, gay? 248 00:20:47,868 --> 00:20:50,871 - I would have nailed her. - Ok, you wouldn't have nailed her. 249 00:20:51,038 --> 00:20:53,374 - Whatever, dude. - And, you know, secondly... 250 00:20:53,541 --> 00:20:56,252 ...you know, the vibe was not right. 251 00:20:56,460 --> 00:20:59,756 The vibe wasn't right? She comes to your house and makes you strip. 252 00:20:59,965 --> 00:21:02,467 What does she have to do, sit on your face? 253 00:21:03,468 --> 00:21:05,053 Come on, bitch. 254 00:21:05,762 --> 00:21:08,974 - Damn. Should have kissed her. - Are you okay? Dude? 255 00:21:10,267 --> 00:21:12,853 All right, you all have this graph, correct? 256 00:21:13,061 --> 00:21:15,439 Good. Let's move along then. 257 00:21:15,772 --> 00:21:17,441 Now, it's a very simple equation here. 258 00:21:17,566 --> 00:21:19,860 Somebody give me the answer to this. 259 00:21:22,779 --> 00:21:25,157 All right, if no one knows the answer to this... 260 00:21:26,658 --> 00:21:29,578 Looking at this calculation, what does this make us think of? 261 00:21:34,750 --> 00:21:36,543 Questions on this? 262 00:22:03,071 --> 00:22:06,950 Good news, ladies and gentlemen. Pop-quiz time. 263 00:22:51,161 --> 00:22:54,248 That's Samnang Sok. He's this complete genius. 264 00:22:54,456 --> 00:22:56,458 So we raised all this money for him... 265 00:22:56,542 --> 00:22:58,669 ...to come here and study at our school. 266 00:22:58,877 --> 00:23:02,048 - Who's "we"? - Well, I mean, I did... 267 00:23:02,257 --> 00:23:04,759 ...but he could be the next Einstein, you know. 268 00:23:05,468 --> 00:23:07,470 You know, he could cure cancer. 269 00:23:15,854 --> 00:23:17,647 Let's go. 270 00:23:22,152 --> 00:23:24,154 So, what do you wanna do? 271 00:23:27,365 --> 00:23:28,658 What? 272 00:23:31,661 --> 00:23:33,079 I'm not stripping again. 273 00:23:33,955 --> 00:23:35,665 Come on. 274 00:23:50,056 --> 00:23:51,766 Danielle! 275 00:23:53,184 --> 00:23:54,769 Come on. Where are you going? 276 00:24:08,658 --> 00:24:10,660 Hey, come on, let's get out of here. 277 00:24:11,369 --> 00:24:13,579 How do you know no one's home? 278 00:24:13,746 --> 00:24:15,373 - I don't. - Come on. 279 00:24:15,581 --> 00:24:17,083 Seriously, this is nuts. 280 00:24:28,553 --> 00:24:30,055 Oh, boxers. 281 00:24:30,555 --> 00:24:35,060 I always wear boxers. You just caught me on a weird day. 282 00:24:46,780 --> 00:24:50,450 So, what's the craziest thing you've done lately? 283 00:24:53,579 --> 00:24:54,955 This is right up there. 284 00:25:07,969 --> 00:25:09,971 Oh, my God. 285 00:25:12,765 --> 00:25:14,559 - That's Mr. Salinger. - Who? 286 00:25:14,767 --> 00:25:16,769 That's my principal. Seriously, let's go. 287 00:25:18,563 --> 00:25:21,065 - It's not funny. - It's a little funny. 288 00:25:23,776 --> 00:25:25,570 Hey. 289 00:25:27,947 --> 00:25:29,949 Just go with it. 290 00:25:50,346 --> 00:25:53,265 Dude, I'm kind of uncomfortable watching this with you. 291 00:25:53,474 --> 00:25:55,976 Dude, learn to like it. 292 00:26:01,273 --> 00:26:02,983 I'm all wet. Can I come in? 293 00:26:09,865 --> 00:26:12,952 Hey, guys. This is Danielle. 294 00:26:13,285 --> 00:26:16,372 You must be Eli. And Klitz. Right. 295 00:26:16,580 --> 00:26:18,457 Hey, come on, we're all going out. 296 00:26:18,666 --> 00:26:23,379 - Can I use your bathroom first? - Oh, it's over here to the left. 297 00:26:29,469 --> 00:26:32,180 - Dude. - I know. 298 00:26:32,347 --> 00:26:34,182 Dude. 299 00:26:34,349 --> 00:26:35,684 I know. 300 00:26:51,283 --> 00:26:53,368 - Dude, what are we doing here? - Yeah, I know. 301 00:26:53,576 --> 00:26:54,953 Guys, seriously, it's gonna get... 302 00:26:55,078 --> 00:26:56,871 ...broken up, like, any second now, right? 303 00:26:58,748 --> 00:27:00,083 Guys? 304 00:27:12,680 --> 00:27:14,765 - Get the fuck out of here! - Sorry. 305 00:27:27,361 --> 00:27:29,071 Go. 306 00:27:29,864 --> 00:27:32,783 - So, what do you wanna do? - Let's just chill. 307 00:27:32,950 --> 00:27:34,660 Hi, guys. 308 00:27:36,787 --> 00:27:39,749 - Is this your party? - No, it's a friend of mine's. 309 00:27:40,166 --> 00:27:42,376 - I'm Hunter. - Danielle. 310 00:27:42,585 --> 00:27:44,378 This is Matthew. 311 00:27:44,587 --> 00:27:46,881 - Hey, Matt, what's up? - What's up? 312 00:27:47,465 --> 00:27:49,051 Can I get you something to drink? 313 00:27:49,676 --> 00:27:50,969 - Yeah. - Hey, man, what's up? 314 00:27:51,178 --> 00:27:52,971 - Can you come here for a second? - Yeah. 315 00:27:53,180 --> 00:27:55,265 No, it's cool. They're pals. 316 00:27:56,183 --> 00:27:57,476 What's up? 317 00:27:57,684 --> 00:28:00,270 Yeah, man, this party's getting kind of full, bro. 318 00:28:00,479 --> 00:28:03,857 - Yeah, so? - So you're gonna have to take off. 319 00:28:04,066 --> 00:28:06,485 - Really? - Yeah. 320 00:28:08,278 --> 00:28:11,073 Okay, but I'm with her. I mean- 321 00:28:11,281 --> 00:28:13,283 Oh, it's cool, dude. She's taken care of. 322 00:28:17,579 --> 00:28:19,289 There's the door. 323 00:28:43,773 --> 00:28:45,566 Yo, man! 324 00:28:45,775 --> 00:28:48,152 When's Samsung getting here? 325 00:28:48,361 --> 00:28:50,989 - Samnang. - Yeah! 326 00:28:51,656 --> 00:28:53,074 I love him. 327 00:28:53,283 --> 00:28:57,453 Dude, I'm gonna do that little guy when he gets here. 328 00:28:57,662 --> 00:28:59,455 Hard. 329 00:29:00,873 --> 00:29:03,084 Cool, dude. I'm sure he'll like that. 330 00:29:03,251 --> 00:29:05,461 Sam Young! 331 00:29:09,382 --> 00:29:10,967 Excuse me. 332 00:29:26,775 --> 00:29:29,653 - Dude. - I know. 333 00:30:08,568 --> 00:30:11,488 - What? - You're coming with me. Right now. 334 00:30:12,864 --> 00:30:15,367 Everybody out. Let's move. 335 00:30:19,454 --> 00:30:24,292 I said out, minions! Move! Move! Faster, you little maggots. 336 00:30:26,753 --> 00:30:29,756 - So how's everything going? - Fine. 337 00:30:29,965 --> 00:30:32,592 Is everything, you know, okay at home? 338 00:30:32,759 --> 00:30:34,553 All right, what? 339 00:30:35,054 --> 00:30:36,889 Perhaps you should have a seat. 340 00:30:37,056 --> 00:30:39,558 Perhaps you should bite me. 341 00:30:40,059 --> 00:30:41,769 Perhaps. 342 00:30:44,772 --> 00:30:46,274 Matthew... 343 00:30:46,482 --> 00:30:49,485 ...we live in a crazy, mixed-up world. 344 00:30:49,694 --> 00:30:53,072 Crazy, but, oh, so beautiful. 345 00:31:11,173 --> 00:31:13,259 Excellent, grasshopper. 346 00:31:13,467 --> 00:31:17,055 And now for the final task of your training. 347 00:31:21,393 --> 00:31:24,271 You're gonna need a harder piece of wood than that, cowboy. 348 00:31:25,689 --> 00:31:28,483 - That's not her. - Yeah, it is. 349 00:31:37,659 --> 00:31:40,287 - Oh, no. - Oh, yeah. 350 00:31:49,755 --> 00:31:52,674 Matt! Matt! Dude, you're missing the best part. 351 00:31:55,260 --> 00:31:56,888 Fuck! Fuck! 352 00:31:59,057 --> 00:32:00,683 Settle down, tiger. I know. I know. 353 00:32:00,892 --> 00:32:02,977 It's not funny. Seriously, get away from me. 354 00:32:03,186 --> 00:32:05,563 - Dude, don't mess this up. - Mess what up? 355 00:32:05,772 --> 00:32:07,357 Matt, she's a porn star, okay? 356 00:32:07,690 --> 00:32:10,360 Take her to a motel room and bang her like a beast. 357 00:32:10,693 --> 00:32:12,362 Eli, I like this girl. 358 00:32:12,570 --> 00:32:15,365 And you can still like her with your penis inside her. 359 00:32:15,990 --> 00:32:18,159 I'm telling you, you're gonna regret this. 360 00:32:18,368 --> 00:32:20,578 What would JFK do? You know he'd tap that ass. 361 00:32:20,787 --> 00:32:22,789 Eli, I'm never gonna see her again. 362 00:32:22,956 --> 00:32:24,165 Oh, you know what? Fine. 363 00:32:24,374 --> 00:32:25,792 - Fine. - Fine! 364 00:32:26,584 --> 00:32:27,794 Goddamn it, Matt. 365 00:32:27,877 --> 00:32:30,964 I swear to God, if you don't fuck her, I'll kill myself! 366 00:32:31,172 --> 00:32:37,095 Matt, please. Please, Matt. Fuck her for me. For me! 367 00:32:49,066 --> 00:32:51,568 - Oh, Marci, you're so funny. - Oh, thanks. 368 00:32:54,697 --> 00:32:57,157 - I just saw you naked. - What? 369 00:32:57,491 --> 00:32:59,868 Don't worry, honey, you were only 2 days old. 370 00:33:00,160 --> 00:33:02,288 - Let's see what else we have. - Why are you here? 371 00:33:02,496 --> 00:33:03,872 I just came here to say hi. 372 00:33:04,873 --> 00:33:06,458 Hi. 373 00:33:06,667 --> 00:33:08,168 Look at this one of him. 374 00:33:16,969 --> 00:33:18,597 Hey, buddy. 375 00:33:19,180 --> 00:33:22,058 - That one's the best. - It is. He looks so adorable. 376 00:33:22,267 --> 00:33:24,394 He looks really- Oh, that's such a good one. 377 00:33:24,561 --> 00:33:27,272 - Here you go, Danielle. - Oh, thanks. 378 00:33:35,196 --> 00:33:37,490 - Thattagirl. - This is a cute one. 379 00:33:37,657 --> 00:33:39,492 Oh, who's your daddy? 380 00:33:39,993 --> 00:33:43,163 So you were going to school in Los Angeles? 381 00:33:43,371 --> 00:33:46,166 For a while. But then I started working on other things. 382 00:33:46,374 --> 00:33:48,585 Oh, what kind of things? 383 00:33:50,795 --> 00:33:52,088 Let me show you. 384 00:34:01,390 --> 00:34:02,683 Jesus! 385 00:34:07,271 --> 00:34:09,690 - Are you okay? - Yeah, I don't know, I... 386 00:34:10,358 --> 00:34:11,984 I don't feel so good. 387 00:34:16,697 --> 00:34:19,158 What can I do to make you feel better? 388 00:34:34,173 --> 00:34:35,967 I think I'm feeling a lot better now. 389 00:34:36,175 --> 00:34:39,178 - We can go out another night. - No, we're going out tonight. 390 00:34:39,679 --> 00:34:42,099 - You sure? - Positive. 391 00:34:46,061 --> 00:34:48,897 - I don't know if I can do this. - Yes, you can. 392 00:34:49,064 --> 00:34:51,858 But tonight, be the man. 393 00:34:52,484 --> 00:34:55,570 First off, act like you don't even like her. 394 00:34:55,779 --> 00:34:58,365 - Hey. - Hey. 395 00:34:58,573 --> 00:35:03,161 Second, get her drunk. Really drunk, okay? 396 00:35:03,495 --> 00:35:05,998 That way the true porn star will come out in her. 397 00:35:09,376 --> 00:35:12,796 Here, I... I got us something. 398 00:35:15,882 --> 00:35:17,884 Bourbon? 399 00:35:18,093 --> 00:35:21,388 - Are you trying to get me drunk? - No, what? 400 00:35:21,597 --> 00:35:25,476 - I thought you like to rock. - "Like to rock?" 401 00:35:26,060 --> 00:35:28,563 Last and most important... 402 00:35:28,896 --> 00:35:31,065 ...always be touching her, Matt. 403 00:35:31,274 --> 00:35:33,860 That tells her you came here to get down tonight. 404 00:35:37,697 --> 00:35:39,699 What are we doing? 405 00:35:40,867 --> 00:35:42,785 Just chilling. 406 00:35:46,873 --> 00:35:48,791 Hey, look. 407 00:35:49,292 --> 00:35:50,585 MOTEL Glen Capri 408 00:35:53,379 --> 00:35:59,093 Maybe we should get a room. 409 00:36:00,094 --> 00:36:01,596 Okay. 410 00:36:08,562 --> 00:36:10,564 Here it is. 411 00:36:29,583 --> 00:36:32,461 This is- This is really nice. 412 00:36:32,878 --> 00:36:34,797 TV. 413 00:36:35,297 --> 00:36:36,674 Air conditioner. 414 00:36:37,591 --> 00:36:39,802 Got a little lamp there. 415 00:36:40,678 --> 00:36:42,763 Is that Monet? 416 00:36:46,768 --> 00:36:48,478 What? 417 00:36:48,979 --> 00:36:52,190 - What are you thinking? - What are you thinking? 418 00:36:55,193 --> 00:36:56,486 I don't know. 419 00:37:06,788 --> 00:37:08,373 Do you wanna fuck me? 420 00:37:15,964 --> 00:37:18,091 Come here. 421 00:37:35,401 --> 00:37:36,986 How do you want me? 422 00:37:38,696 --> 00:37:40,197 Why are you doing this? 423 00:37:41,365 --> 00:37:43,075 What? 424 00:37:43,701 --> 00:37:45,369 This. 425 00:37:47,163 --> 00:37:49,665 Isn't this what you want? 426 00:37:50,082 --> 00:37:53,085 To fuck a porn star in a cheap motel room? 427 00:37:58,090 --> 00:38:00,676 So this is what you think of me. 428 00:38:03,095 --> 00:38:05,097 - Danielle, wait. I'm sorry. - Let me guess. 429 00:38:05,264 --> 00:38:06,892 You saw a tape, and you thought: 430 00:38:07,100 --> 00:38:09,394 "What the hell? She does it for a living, right?" 431 00:38:09,603 --> 00:38:12,898 - Eli told me to do it. - Oh, now that's a mature response. 432 00:38:13,065 --> 00:38:16,276 - Why didn't you just tell me? - Because I didn't want to, okay? 433 00:38:19,279 --> 00:38:22,074 Because I loved the way you looked at me. 434 00:38:23,575 --> 00:38:26,870 God, do you have any idea how-? 435 00:38:28,288 --> 00:38:29,790 Forget it. 436 00:38:30,082 --> 00:38:33,502 - Hold on. - Fuck you. 437 00:38:47,767 --> 00:38:49,769 ONLY 9 DAYS LEFT! SAMNANG 438 00:38:54,899 --> 00:38:56,567 You're done. 439 00:39:02,782 --> 00:39:04,075 WHY DO I DESERVE THIS SCHOLARSHIP? 440 00:39:20,883 --> 00:39:26,472 Look, I'm an idiot, okay? I saw the tape, and I freaked out. 441 00:39:26,681 --> 00:39:29,476 Hi. I'm coming in. Can I come in? 442 00:39:30,894 --> 00:39:32,896 Look, I've just been crazy lately. 443 00:39:33,105 --> 00:39:36,483 I mean, the whole scholarship thing, you know, I mean... 444 00:39:36,692 --> 00:39:38,277 It's killing me, you know? 445 00:39:38,569 --> 00:39:41,280 But I'm not even thinking about that. 446 00:39:41,572 --> 00:39:45,868 The only thing I care about is you, you know? 447 00:39:46,076 --> 00:39:48,704 All I want is just for us to go back to normal again. 448 00:39:48,871 --> 00:39:51,999 It's a real nice place you got here, D. 449 00:39:53,083 --> 00:39:55,002 I... 450 00:40:07,306 --> 00:40:08,766 Can we... 451 00:40:09,600 --> 00:40:12,270 ...talk about this later? - Yeah. 452 00:40:14,773 --> 00:40:16,191 Sure. 453 00:40:33,083 --> 00:40:34,376 I like that. 454 00:40:35,168 --> 00:40:38,088 - What? - What you said in there. 455 00:40:38,588 --> 00:40:39,881 Thanks. 456 00:40:45,303 --> 00:40:46,680 Kelly. 457 00:40:47,681 --> 00:40:49,307 Matthew. 458 00:40:54,272 --> 00:40:56,607 - So you're friends with D, huh? - Yeah. 459 00:40:57,108 --> 00:41:00,903 Well, we're- We're kind of going out. 460 00:41:03,572 --> 00:41:08,286 Look at you. You are a forest fire. 461 00:41:09,078 --> 00:41:10,705 - Are we going? - Yeah. 462 00:41:11,289 --> 00:41:12,581 You coming with us? 463 00:41:12,790 --> 00:41:15,376 - Where are you going? - Can't. He's got school tomorrow. 464 00:41:15,876 --> 00:41:17,878 No, no, I'm cool. Like, where are we going? 465 00:41:45,991 --> 00:41:47,909 Hey, there. What can I get for you? 466 00:41:47,993 --> 00:41:49,995 We'll get two Scotch rocks and... 467 00:41:50,203 --> 00:41:53,874 Make it three. Actually, I'll have a Long Island iced tea. 468 00:41:57,502 --> 00:41:59,004 So, what grade are you in, man? 469 00:41:59,087 --> 00:42:01,882 I'm a senior. But I'm about to graduate. 470 00:42:02,090 --> 00:42:04,301 Congratulations. What's next? 471 00:42:04,676 --> 00:42:06,094 Georgetown, hopefully. 472 00:42:06,678 --> 00:42:09,181 - Matthew wants to be president. - Really? 473 00:42:09,473 --> 00:42:10,974 - That's great, man. - Yeah. 474 00:42:11,183 --> 00:42:13,185 How do you two know each other? 475 00:42:13,770 --> 00:42:16,189 How do we know each other? 476 00:42:16,773 --> 00:42:20,610 - We used to work together. - So you're, like, an actor? 477 00:42:21,611 --> 00:42:24,197 No. Strictly producer. 478 00:42:24,405 --> 00:42:28,284 But D and I also used to go out. Excuse me a sec. 479 00:42:30,203 --> 00:42:31,496 So you guys went out? 480 00:42:33,790 --> 00:42:35,291 Thank you. 481 00:42:35,500 --> 00:42:37,502 Look, can we just talk? 482 00:42:38,294 --> 00:42:39,587 Talk. 483 00:42:41,089 --> 00:42:43,174 I don't know if this is really the place. 484 00:42:43,383 --> 00:42:47,971 - Why? What's wrong with it? - No, nothing. It's fine, you know. 485 00:42:48,179 --> 00:42:50,181 It's one of my favorites. 486 00:42:55,104 --> 00:42:57,398 Hey, you got one for me? 487 00:43:06,407 --> 00:43:08,075 - What are you doing? - What? 488 00:43:08,284 --> 00:43:09,785 Here. 489 00:43:11,412 --> 00:43:13,580 And you turn it like so: 490 00:43:20,170 --> 00:43:24,383 - Hey, where are you going? - The bathroom. Is that okay? 491 00:43:24,675 --> 00:43:26,385 Yeah. 492 00:43:29,680 --> 00:43:32,099 So you're really into her, huh? 493 00:43:32,308 --> 00:43:36,396 Hey. I get it, man, believe me. She's gorgeous. 494 00:43:36,896 --> 00:43:39,190 I just think you'd want someone more your age. 495 00:43:39,691 --> 00:43:44,195 - She's my age. - Yeah, I meant experience-wise. 496 00:43:44,404 --> 00:43:46,072 No offense. 497 00:43:47,282 --> 00:43:49,909 Don't worry about it. I'm gonna take care of you. 498 00:43:51,786 --> 00:43:54,205 Oh, my God. That's Mr. Peterson. 499 00:43:54,372 --> 00:43:55,547 That's my dad's friend. 500 00:43:55,582 --> 00:43:57,709 He comes over all the time with his wife. 501 00:43:58,293 --> 00:43:59,502 Really? 502 00:43:59,878 --> 00:44:00,712 Hey, Peterson. 503 00:44:00,795 --> 00:44:04,090 What? Dude, what are you doing, man? 504 00:44:04,299 --> 00:44:06,801 Yeah, you. Get over here. 505 00:44:07,177 --> 00:44:11,306 Goddamn, Peterson, haven't seen your black ass in ages. 506 00:44:11,473 --> 00:44:14,601 - Do I know you? - What the fuck's your problem? 507 00:44:14,893 --> 00:44:18,314 - I... - Just fucking with you, man. 508 00:44:19,106 --> 00:44:21,984 Hey, you know my friend Matty here, right? 509 00:44:26,614 --> 00:44:31,285 - Matthew. Hi. - Peterson, this is Matty's first time. 510 00:44:31,494 --> 00:44:34,497 Why don't you buy him a dance. 511 00:44:40,086 --> 00:44:43,297 So did you hear about that scholarship yet? 512 00:44:45,383 --> 00:44:47,385 No, big dinner's on Thursday. 513 00:44:51,514 --> 00:44:55,685 So, what's it for again? 514 00:44:55,893 --> 00:44:57,979 The scholarship. 515 00:44:59,189 --> 00:45:01,191 It's for... 516 00:45:01,400 --> 00:45:03,485 ...moral fiber. 517 00:45:06,280 --> 00:45:09,199 Me? A Teenage Daddy? 518 00:45:09,408 --> 00:45:11,910 Who is this guy? Is he a porn producer? 519 00:45:11,994 --> 00:45:14,079 Klitz, shut up. Now, the strippers. 520 00:45:14,288 --> 00:45:17,582 When you get a lap dance, were they cool with you grabbing their ass? 521 00:45:17,791 --> 00:45:19,876 Dude. I'm trying to talk about Danielle here. 522 00:45:20,085 --> 00:45:22,713 Fine. Selfish bitch. 523 00:45:22,879 --> 00:45:26,800 For teenagers, sexual intercourse can be dangerous. 524 00:45:27,009 --> 00:45:28,593 Jesus, what hack made this? 525 00:45:28,885 --> 00:45:31,680 I could make a better sex-ed film with my mom. 526 00:45:31,888 --> 00:45:33,682 Why don't they update this thing? 527 00:45:33,974 --> 00:45:36,184 Special events, such as your senior prom... 528 00:45:36,393 --> 00:45:39,480 ...place added pressure on young teens to lose their virginity... 529 00:45:39,814 --> 00:45:42,191 ...and also engage in unprotected sex. 530 00:45:42,483 --> 00:45:44,193 9 months later... 531 00:45:45,778 --> 00:45:47,614 - Hello? - Hey, Bob. 532 00:45:47,780 --> 00:45:48,990 We're all going to the creek tonight. 533 00:45:49,115 --> 00:45:51,993 It's gonna be a gas. You're coming, right? 534 00:45:52,076 --> 00:45:54,203 I can't, guys. 535 00:45:55,204 --> 00:45:58,291 I have a baby now. 536 00:45:59,709 --> 00:46:02,003 Because of prom. 537 00:46:02,378 --> 00:46:04,005 Dude. 538 00:46:05,715 --> 00:46:09,010 - What? - Yeah, right. 539 00:46:09,510 --> 00:46:13,598 - You guys ever thought about it? - No. 540 00:46:15,308 --> 00:46:17,185 I just think you guys would be really hot. 541 00:46:17,477 --> 00:46:19,187 - You girls are 18, right? - I am. 542 00:46:19,395 --> 00:46:21,398 - I will be in a month. - Really? 543 00:46:21,690 --> 00:46:23,984 - You ever been photographed? - A couple of times. 544 00:46:24,193 --> 00:46:26,612 Hey, you guys know Matty? 545 00:46:26,779 --> 00:46:29,698 I hung with him last night. Guy's the tits. 546 00:46:30,199 --> 00:46:32,493 Here's my man. 547 00:46:33,077 --> 00:46:36,080 - How you doing? - What's up, fellas? 548 00:46:38,999 --> 00:46:41,877 Matty, you didn't tell me you got some serious burners... 549 00:46:42,002 --> 00:46:43,087 ...at your school here. 550 00:46:43,295 --> 00:46:45,089 Oh, shut up. You did not say that 551 00:46:45,381 --> 00:46:48,092 Hey, you know who's got the killer bud? 552 00:46:50,094 --> 00:46:52,596 This fucker right here. 553 00:46:54,098 --> 00:46:56,392 - What are you talking about? - Yeah, come on. 554 00:46:56,600 --> 00:46:58,394 Yeah, you have some? 555 00:46:58,602 --> 00:47:00,104 Yeah, come on. 556 00:47:00,479 --> 00:47:03,108 - Holy shit. - You guys should party. 557 00:47:03,316 --> 00:47:05,402 - Can I-? - All right, we're out. 558 00:47:05,694 --> 00:47:07,779 - Hold on a sec. - Where are you guys going? 559 00:47:07,988 --> 00:47:10,115 - We got things to do. - Do you wanna hang out? 560 00:47:10,282 --> 00:47:14,077 - Hop in, fellas. - Aren't you gonna photograph us? 561 00:47:16,997 --> 00:47:18,790 Always leave them wanting more. 562 00:47:18,999 --> 00:47:20,792 Punch it! 563 00:47:36,516 --> 00:47:39,811 Man, there is some talent here. 564 00:47:40,478 --> 00:47:43,399 You get those girls together with those ass-bags there... 565 00:47:43,608 --> 00:47:45,901 ...shoot them humping at, like, a football... 566 00:47:45,985 --> 00:47:48,404 ...game or at a prom, that video would sell. 567 00:47:48,613 --> 00:47:50,615 Fuck, I'm good! 568 00:47:50,906 --> 00:47:54,994 How do I get these ideas? It's like a gift, you know? 569 00:47:55,202 --> 00:47:56,704 It's like I can't control it. 570 00:48:00,708 --> 00:48:04,295 So, what are we doing, man? 571 00:48:08,215 --> 00:48:10,509 You know, you really didn't have to come with me. 572 00:48:10,718 --> 00:48:14,388 It's cool. I like running errands. 573 00:48:15,681 --> 00:48:19,018 So you raised 25 G's just to bring this Chinese guy over. 574 00:48:19,185 --> 00:48:21,395 No, he's Cambodian. 575 00:48:21,687 --> 00:48:25,192 Okay, so that's 25,000 total deposited... 576 00:48:25,400 --> 00:48:27,986 ...into the Operation Get Samnang account. 577 00:48:28,403 --> 00:48:30,697 Hey, so you raised all the money you needed. 578 00:48:30,906 --> 00:48:32,491 - Congratulations. - Thanks. 579 00:48:32,699 --> 00:48:34,910 So is this Samnang really as smart as they say? 580 00:48:35,118 --> 00:48:37,913 Well, he did teach himself calculus without even using... 581 00:48:37,996 --> 00:48:39,498 ...his textbooks, so... 582 00:48:39,706 --> 00:48:43,585 Those crazy little fuckers, man. They sure know their numbers. 583 00:48:46,213 --> 00:48:49,800 Jeannie, this is my- This is my student advisor. 584 00:48:50,968 --> 00:48:52,768 Oh, you're Mr. Salinger? 585 00:48:52,803 --> 00:48:56,181 Just here to make sure everything's up to par. Wow. 586 00:48:56,515 --> 00:48:59,393 - What? - I love those earrings. 587 00:48:59,601 --> 00:48:59,893 Oh, thank you. 588 00:48:59,898 --> 00:49:02,600 They really complement your coloring. 589 00:49:02,604 --> 00:49:04,481 Thanks. I just got back from Cabo. 590 00:49:04,815 --> 00:49:06,192 - Did you? - Yeah. 591 00:49:06,401 --> 00:49:09,195 Okay, well, we gotta go. Thanks, Jeannie. 592 00:49:10,488 --> 00:49:12,615 Man, what were you doing-? 593 00:49:12,782 --> 00:49:14,909 There's a bar, you sit with the people. 594 00:49:14,993 --> 00:49:15,910 You have been there. 595 00:49:16,119 --> 00:49:18,204 - See? I knew it. - No, no. 596 00:49:18,413 --> 00:49:21,499 - This guy is unbelievable. - You. 597 00:49:30,883 --> 00:49:33,511 - Where you guys going? - Vegas, baby. 598 00:49:33,803 --> 00:49:38,683 We got the convention. Gotta press the flesh, meet the fans. 599 00:49:38,891 --> 00:49:41,811 So that's it? You're just going back? 600 00:49:42,020 --> 00:49:43,980 I don't belong here. 601 00:49:44,188 --> 00:49:47,818 What do you-? What do you mean? What about starting over? 602 00:49:48,402 --> 00:49:49,820 This is what I am. 603 00:49:53,407 --> 00:49:56,201 All right, D, let's roll. 604 00:50:14,094 --> 00:50:17,681 - Dude, it's not your fault. - No, it is my fault. 605 00:50:18,182 --> 00:50:21,310 If I hadn't been such a dick and taken her to that motel room... 606 00:50:21,518 --> 00:50:23,896 Yeah, it was a little forward, don't you think? 607 00:50:25,022 --> 00:50:26,482 - Dude. - What? 608 00:50:26,815 --> 00:50:29,402 Matt, the point is, she made her decision. 609 00:50:29,903 --> 00:50:32,322 There's nothing you can do about it now. 610 00:50:37,494 --> 00:50:38,995 Yeah, there is. 611 00:50:46,419 --> 00:50:47,712 - Hey, Dad? - Don't wait up. 612 00:50:47,921 --> 00:50:50,215 - I'll be late tonight. - I'll watch it tomorrow. 613 00:50:50,382 --> 00:50:53,593 - Shark Week is all week long. - God, I just wanna bang hot chicks. 614 00:51:05,814 --> 00:51:11,904 LAS VEGAS WELCOMES THE ADULT FILM CONVENTION 615 00:51:41,892 --> 00:51:44,687 - Move it. - Sorry. 616 00:51:45,688 --> 00:51:46,897 Big smile. 617 00:51:49,108 --> 00:51:50,986 - Sasha! - Sasha! 618 00:51:57,618 --> 00:52:00,621 - Yo, man, no press. - No, no. No, I'm not press. 619 00:52:00,996 --> 00:52:02,497 I'm still in high school, okay? 620 00:52:02,623 --> 00:52:04,499 This is for my high school video yearbook. 621 00:52:04,708 --> 00:52:06,001 I swear to God. 622 00:52:09,588 --> 00:52:11,006 That's right, bitch. 623 00:52:17,387 --> 00:52:18,889 Jesus, is that her? 624 00:52:19,222 --> 00:52:20,390 Athena. 625 00:52:40,995 --> 00:52:42,914 Give me a second, guys. 626 00:52:43,206 --> 00:52:44,791 - Athena! - Athena! 627 00:52:44,999 --> 00:52:47,293 - Danielle. - Athena! Athena! 628 00:52:47,502 --> 00:52:49,587 - Danielle. - Come on! Athena, right here! 629 00:52:49,796 --> 00:52:53,216 - Work it, Athena. - You are so hot, Athena. 630 00:52:56,010 --> 00:53:00,306 - Look, I'm sorry. I had to come. - Asshole, I'm next. 631 00:53:01,224 --> 00:53:04,018 - I feel like this is all my fault. - Who is this guy? 632 00:53:04,894 --> 00:53:08,815 - Will you at least look at me? - Bend over. 633 00:53:09,023 --> 00:53:11,526 You're the best thing that ever happened to me, okay? 634 00:53:11,693 --> 00:53:13,612 - Me too! - Oh, Danielle. 635 00:53:13,821 --> 00:53:15,698 He's so sweet. 636 00:53:19,201 --> 00:53:20,703 Danielle. 637 00:53:20,995 --> 00:53:23,414 Nice job, dickwad. 638 00:53:23,706 --> 00:53:26,292 - Danielle. - Hey, man, get me out of this thing. 639 00:53:26,500 --> 00:53:28,127 - Take me with you, dude. - Danielle. 640 00:53:28,419 --> 00:53:30,921 Just leave me alone, please. 641 00:53:31,297 --> 00:53:33,299 Danielle. 642 00:53:34,800 --> 00:53:38,220 - Danielle, Danielle. - Hugo, hi. 643 00:53:38,387 --> 00:53:40,889 Look at you. You look fantastic. 644 00:53:44,018 --> 00:53:46,312 Just starting out, and everyone knows your name. 645 00:53:46,520 --> 00:53:48,022 No, they don't. 646 00:53:48,188 --> 00:53:50,608 - So how's Kelly treating you? - Okay. 647 00:53:50,816 --> 00:53:52,818 Just okay? 648 00:53:53,027 --> 00:53:55,196 Danielle, what do we know? 649 00:53:55,989 --> 00:53:59,826 What do we know? We know that you should be with me. 650 00:53:59,993 --> 00:54:03,997 At the top. Where the air is crisp. 651 00:54:04,205 --> 00:54:06,207 - Nice tan. - Kelly. 652 00:54:06,416 --> 00:54:09,294 - What do we say? - Fuck you. 653 00:54:10,712 --> 00:54:12,589 Always with the big words. 654 00:54:12,797 --> 00:54:16,509 Danielle, where the air is crisp. 655 00:54:18,428 --> 00:54:21,514 - What does that mean? - Nothing. He's just being Hugo. 656 00:54:22,098 --> 00:54:24,809 Matty. What are you doing here? 657 00:54:27,020 --> 00:54:30,106 Look, Kelly, no offense, but I really don't think Danielle... 658 00:54:30,315 --> 00:54:31,691 ...wants to be here right now. 659 00:54:36,405 --> 00:54:39,825 Matthew, please just go home, okay? 660 00:54:41,827 --> 00:54:43,621 Hey, D. 661 00:54:45,122 --> 00:54:48,626 I'm sorry, man. Come on. Let's get out of here. 662 00:54:52,797 --> 00:54:54,423 What's up? 663 00:54:55,508 --> 00:54:57,426 It's not cute anymore. 664 00:54:57,593 --> 00:54:59,804 - What? - Stop filling her head with that- 665 00:55:00,012 --> 00:55:03,516 - Do not piss me off. - Hey, I thought we were friends. 666 00:55:05,017 --> 00:55:07,103 Friends don't fuck with each other's business. 667 00:55:07,311 --> 00:55:10,189 And that's what this is, my fucking business. 668 00:55:13,317 --> 00:55:14,694 What? 669 00:55:15,820 --> 00:55:17,990 What are you gonna do? 670 00:55:21,410 --> 00:55:26,290 Yeah, that's what I thought. Stay the fuck away from her. 671 00:55:30,210 --> 00:55:32,921 Matt, seriously, man, it's 2:00 in the morning. 672 00:55:33,130 --> 00:55:36,591 What about your thing tomorrow? Okay, the scholarship dinner? 673 00:55:37,217 --> 00:55:39,928 Sorry, I gotta do this. 674 00:55:45,517 --> 00:55:49,021 Oh, by the way, if things get bad, just bolt, okay? 675 00:55:49,229 --> 00:55:51,189 What? What do you mean, "if things get bad"? 676 00:55:51,398 --> 00:55:52,691 Just bolt. 677 00:55:53,525 --> 00:55:54,318 Wait, what's he talking about? 678 00:55:58,615 --> 00:56:00,908 You wanna get me a drink? No, I'm just kidding. 679 00:56:13,212 --> 00:56:14,505 Hi. 680 00:56:20,219 --> 00:56:21,596 Dude... 681 00:56:21,804 --> 00:56:23,431 ...am I ugly? 682 00:56:23,806 --> 00:56:28,227 What? No. No, man, you're fine. Just relax. 683 00:56:28,394 --> 00:56:30,229 No, I'm ugly. I know it. 684 00:56:32,398 --> 00:56:36,027 - So, what do you guys do? - I get freaky. 685 00:56:38,697 --> 00:56:41,325 - We're directors. - Really? 686 00:56:41,617 --> 00:56:44,620 Would you guys ever wanna use me in one of your movies? 687 00:56:45,996 --> 00:56:47,623 Hell, yeah, we'll use you. 688 00:56:47,831 --> 00:56:51,794 Baby, I'll do things to you I wouldn't do to a farm animal. 689 00:56:52,127 --> 00:56:55,798 - What the fuck did you just say? - Honey. These guys are directors. 690 00:56:56,006 --> 00:56:58,717 - And they wanna use me. - Use you? 691 00:56:58,926 --> 00:57:01,720 Guys, this is my boyfriend, Mule. 692 00:57:04,807 --> 00:57:06,225 Hi, Mule. 693 00:57:10,396 --> 00:57:11,814 Let's do it. 694 00:57:12,898 --> 00:57:16,193 Man, you gotta use my girl, bro. She's so good. 695 00:57:16,402 --> 00:57:18,112 I am. I really am. 696 00:57:18,612 --> 00:57:21,908 - You wanna give her a throw? - Yeah, try me out. 697 00:57:22,826 --> 00:57:24,911 No, you know, no, I'm okay, though, thank you. 698 00:57:25,203 --> 00:57:27,706 Well, come on. At least feel her tits. 699 00:57:28,832 --> 00:57:31,126 I'm okay. I can't. Thank you, though. 700 00:57:31,793 --> 00:57:34,713 Fuck it. I'll feel one. 701 00:57:45,807 --> 00:57:47,309 We're all set for tomorrow. 702 00:57:47,392 --> 00:57:51,313 Athena will be there, ready to shoot. Right, babe? 703 00:57:52,397 --> 00:57:56,610 Not bad, huh? Suckers cost me 6 grand. 704 00:57:56,818 --> 00:58:00,322 Yo, Mule, what the hell are you doing? 705 00:58:00,823 --> 00:58:05,494 Steel, check it out, man. These guys are directors. 706 00:58:05,828 --> 00:58:07,121 Man, these punks ain't directors. 707 00:58:07,204 --> 00:58:10,124 They're in high school, you idiot. 708 00:58:12,209 --> 00:58:14,295 Okay, here's the thing- 709 00:58:22,011 --> 00:58:24,305 Oh, shit! 710 00:58:27,224 --> 00:58:29,018 - Come on, Klitz, come on. - Get off. 711 00:58:38,819 --> 00:58:40,821 Matty, time to go, time to go. Time to go. 712 00:58:41,030 --> 00:58:43,116 - What happened? - It got bad. Bolt. Bolt! 713 00:58:43,533 --> 00:58:45,619 - Dude, wait up. - Fuck you, dude! 714 00:58:53,210 --> 00:58:54,211 Excuse me. 715 00:58:54,294 --> 00:58:57,506 I just wanna let you know, I know who you really are. 716 00:59:00,133 --> 00:59:02,803 And you're better than this. 717 00:59:39,924 --> 00:59:41,801 IT HAS ALWAYS BEEN MY DREAM... 718 00:59:42,927 --> 00:59:44,929 Yeah? 719 00:59:52,228 --> 00:59:53,604 Need a ride to school? 720 00:59:58,026 --> 01:00:01,696 It's all you now. I mean, now you can do whatever you want. 721 01:00:02,905 --> 01:00:04,700 Why do you believe in me so much? 722 01:00:05,618 --> 01:00:07,620 I don't know. Maybe I'm stupid. 723 01:00:12,416 --> 01:00:16,128 - Good luck tonight. - Thanks. 724 01:00:17,129 --> 01:00:19,506 - Bye. - Bye. 725 01:00:35,314 --> 01:00:36,899 Will you go to prom with me? 726 01:00:39,526 --> 01:00:41,028 What? 727 01:00:46,409 --> 01:00:48,703 I would love to. 728 01:00:52,123 --> 01:00:55,418 Now for the scientific explanation. Anybody? 729 01:00:55,627 --> 01:00:57,420 JOHN F. KENNEDY once said: ASK NOT... 730 01:00:59,798 --> 01:01:02,008 That's your speech? 731 01:01:02,801 --> 01:01:04,511 Yeah. 732 01:01:05,011 --> 01:01:07,097 You ready for tonight? 733 01:01:08,306 --> 01:01:10,517 Hey, don't worry, man. You're gonna be great. 734 01:01:11,017 --> 01:01:12,811 I have to be. 735 01:01:25,198 --> 01:01:27,034 That bitch can't just run away because... 736 01:01:27,118 --> 01:01:28,911 ...she don't wanna fuck on film anymore. 737 01:01:29,120 --> 01:01:30,830 May I help you? 738 01:01:32,707 --> 01:01:35,209 - Get up. - Okay, okay. 739 01:01:43,718 --> 01:01:45,928 Stay in school. 740 01:01:49,598 --> 01:01:52,435 Look, I have the most important dinner of my life tonight... 741 01:01:52,601 --> 01:01:54,103 ...so wherever we're going, you know... 742 01:01:54,228 --> 01:01:56,105 ...we just have to be home by 6. 743 01:01:56,314 --> 01:01:58,524 Just so you know. 744 01:02:00,318 --> 01:02:02,737 Here he comes. 745 01:02:04,739 --> 01:02:07,325 - It's a cool ride, huh? - Yeah, if you're a fag. 746 01:02:07,534 --> 01:02:10,621 - Jesus! - It's cool, it's cool. 747 01:02:11,204 --> 01:02:12,623 Get in. 748 01:02:24,801 --> 01:02:27,638 - Where are we going? - I thought you were cool, man. 749 01:02:27,804 --> 01:02:29,931 I tried to be your friend, and what do you do? 750 01:02:30,098 --> 01:02:31,808 - You fuck me. - I didn't fuck you. 751 01:02:32,017 --> 01:02:34,519 She didn't show up on set because of what you said. 752 01:02:34,728 --> 01:02:36,229 Now I'm out 30 grand. 753 01:02:37,606 --> 01:02:41,526 - Guess who's paying me back. - What? I don't have 30 grand. 754 01:02:41,735 --> 01:02:44,529 - Get your folks to help. - They don't have that kind of money. 755 01:02:44,738 --> 01:02:50,536 Look, Kelly, I'm a problem solver, all right? This is what I do. Okay? 756 01:02:50,703 --> 01:02:54,832 Let's just- Let's just think outside of the box here. 757 01:02:55,333 --> 01:02:57,502 Look, she'll get a job, I'll keep mowing... 758 01:02:57,627 --> 01:03:00,213 ...lawns, and over time we'll pay it down. 759 01:03:00,421 --> 01:03:03,132 You know? This can work. We can do this. 760 01:03:03,341 --> 01:03:05,718 It'll be like a payment plan. 761 01:03:13,309 --> 01:03:16,229 - You really care about her, huh? - Yeah, I really do. 762 01:03:16,437 --> 01:03:19,941 Yeah, I don't know. If I'm gonna do this payment-plan thing... 763 01:03:20,108 --> 01:03:22,402 ...I need a show of good faith, you know? 764 01:03:22,610 --> 01:03:26,114 - Something concrete. - Well, like what? 765 01:03:28,324 --> 01:03:29,617 A blowjob. 766 01:03:31,912 --> 01:03:34,206 No. I told you she's not gonna do that anymore. 767 01:03:35,124 --> 01:03:37,126 Who said anything about her? 768 01:03:40,838 --> 01:03:44,842 Yeah, we're definitely outside the box now, huh? 769 01:03:45,634 --> 01:03:50,139 Now, you gotta ask yourself, how far are you willing to go? 770 01:03:52,433 --> 01:03:55,019 How much do you really care about her? 771 01:04:00,232 --> 01:04:01,817 I'm joking, man. 772 01:04:04,528 --> 01:04:05,821 Relax. 773 01:04:07,531 --> 01:04:10,409 - Damn. Do I look gay to you? - No, but, Jesus- 774 01:04:18,710 --> 01:04:19,836 You wanna be president? 775 01:04:19,919 --> 01:04:22,339 Let me tell you the first rule of politics: 776 01:04:22,505 --> 01:04:26,801 Always know if the juice is worth the squeeze. 777 01:04:27,010 --> 01:04:30,013 You know what that means? It means you don't steal my girl... 778 01:04:30,221 --> 01:04:32,641 ...unless you're ready to accept the consequences. 779 01:04:38,438 --> 01:04:40,607 All right, I'm sorry, okay? 780 01:04:43,610 --> 01:04:46,529 That's gonna swell up like a bitch. Here, take this. 781 01:04:50,825 --> 01:04:53,204 I'm telling you, it's gonna hurt like shit. 782 01:04:59,418 --> 01:05:05,424 I'm sorry I got upset. I felt taken advantage of. 783 01:05:05,925 --> 01:05:09,428 Look, I'm not gonna be a dick. I know she loves you. 784 01:05:09,720 --> 01:05:11,931 I'm gonna leave you guys alone. 785 01:05:12,014 --> 01:05:14,225 But now you're doing something for me. 786 01:05:24,819 --> 01:05:27,405 Remember that ass-bag, Hugo, from the convention? 787 01:05:27,738 --> 01:05:29,907 We used to be partners a long time ago. 788 01:05:30,241 --> 01:05:33,119 One day, I had this killer idea to make films set... 789 01:05:33,244 --> 01:05:34,121 ...in real-life situations. 790 01:05:34,413 --> 01:05:37,416 You know, Real World porn. 791 01:05:37,708 --> 01:05:40,627 I told the idea to Hugo. He says he'll think about it. 792 01:05:40,836 --> 01:05:42,838 And what does that motherfucker do? 793 01:05:43,130 --> 01:05:46,633 Takes my best girl, starts his own company with my idea... 794 01:05:46,842 --> 01:05:49,219 ...and the guy makes millions. 795 01:05:49,428 --> 01:05:50,637 It's not the money that pisses me off. 796 01:05:50,721 --> 01:05:52,931 I mean, fuck, it does piss me off... 797 01:05:53,140 --> 01:05:55,142 ...but that's not it. It's the perception. 798 01:05:55,309 --> 01:05:58,145 Everybody thinks Hugo's the genius. It was my idea. 799 01:05:58,312 --> 01:06:02,107 It's like he's Simon, and I'm Garfunkel. 800 01:06:02,941 --> 01:06:07,237 Look at me, man. I'm fucking Garfunkel. 801 01:06:10,240 --> 01:06:15,330 - Look, seriously, I can't do this. - Don't be a pussy. Nobody's home. 802 01:06:20,335 --> 01:06:23,713 - Why do you want this thing so bad? - Because it should've been mine. 803 01:06:24,005 --> 01:06:26,341 - I'll grab it and leave. - You don't understand... 804 01:06:26,507 --> 01:06:28,426 ...I have to be at a dinner in an hour. 805 01:06:28,509 --> 01:06:30,428 My whole life depends on it. 806 01:06:30,637 --> 01:06:32,305 You want me out of Danielle's life? 807 01:06:32,430 --> 01:06:33,723 Yes, I do. 808 01:06:33,931 --> 01:06:36,434 - Then let's go. - But wait, seriously. 809 01:06:36,643 --> 01:06:38,728 Sometimes, if you wanna do something good... 810 01:06:38,936 --> 01:06:40,813 ...you gotta do something bad. 811 01:06:40,938 --> 01:06:43,316 Yeah, but this is breaking and entering. 812 01:06:43,524 --> 01:06:45,943 This is politics. 813 01:06:50,323 --> 01:06:51,741 Hey. 814 01:06:51,908 --> 01:06:54,744 After this, we're cool, okay? 815 01:06:56,914 --> 01:06:59,333 You're all right, man. 816 01:07:27,111 --> 01:07:28,821 Yes. 817 01:07:29,113 --> 01:07:30,823 I'd like to report a robbery. 818 01:07:40,208 --> 01:07:42,419 AVN BEST PICTURE 1999 "CHITTY CHITTY GANG BANG" 819 01:07:42,627 --> 01:07:43,920 HUGO POSH PRODUCER 820 01:07:44,921 --> 01:07:47,340 Bang me. 821 01:07:49,342 --> 01:07:51,011 Cradle the balls. 822 01:08:03,606 --> 01:08:06,234 Stop! Stop! Help me! 823 01:08:06,443 --> 01:08:09,029 Help! Oh, fuck! 824 01:08:13,616 --> 01:08:15,327 Wait! 825 01:08:15,535 --> 01:08:16,911 Come on! 826 01:08:35,931 --> 01:08:37,933 Okay, so what time does the dinner start? 827 01:08:38,142 --> 01:08:39,435 Six o'clock. 828 01:08:39,644 --> 01:08:42,521 - Why? What time is it now? - 6:30. 829 01:08:42,813 --> 01:08:45,107 - Oh, my God. - Dude, don't worry, all right? 830 01:08:45,316 --> 01:08:47,610 We'll get there. You know what? Try and- 831 01:08:47,818 --> 01:08:51,614 - Dude, what are you doing? - I don't know. I just... 832 01:08:52,615 --> 01:08:54,533 ...feel so good. 833 01:09:03,335 --> 01:09:05,337 Oh, my God. 834 01:09:06,922 --> 01:09:09,049 I just feel so weird. 835 01:09:09,216 --> 01:09:11,510 Don't worry. Ecstasy is not that bad. 836 01:09:11,843 --> 01:09:14,721 - What? - Kelly likes dosing people with E. 837 01:09:15,847 --> 01:09:18,350 Oh, my God. Am I gonna die? 838 01:09:18,517 --> 01:09:22,521 No, no, no. It's okay, Matt. You're gonna be fine. I promise. 839 01:09:22,813 --> 01:09:26,441 You're such a good friend, Klitzy. I love you. 840 01:09:26,733 --> 01:09:28,819 I love you so much. 841 01:09:30,237 --> 01:09:32,114 This is gonna be amazing. 842 01:09:33,532 --> 01:09:35,409 Wait a second. 843 01:09:35,617 --> 01:09:37,536 Oh, my God. 844 01:09:37,744 --> 01:09:39,746 WELCOME TO THE SHERIDAN SCHOLARSHIP BANQUET 845 01:09:42,250 --> 01:09:44,836 You don't understand. It's really kicking in right now. 846 01:09:45,044 --> 01:09:47,213 Just try not to talk so much, okay? 847 01:09:47,338 --> 01:09:49,215 Talk so much? I'm giving a speech. 848 01:09:49,424 --> 01:09:51,551 - It's okay. Just go with it. - Wait, wait. 849 01:09:51,718 --> 01:09:52,635 In a few minutes, we'll begin the speeches, and we hope... 850 01:10:02,812 --> 01:10:04,522 Thank you again for coming to what... 851 01:10:04,647 --> 01:10:07,525 ...promises to be a very eventful evening. 852 01:10:10,111 --> 01:10:11,738 Matthew Kidman? 853 01:10:16,034 --> 01:10:17,327 My competition. 854 01:10:17,535 --> 01:10:20,830 - Hey, what's up, Ryan? - Jesus, what happened to you? 855 01:10:21,039 --> 01:10:23,542 Just living life, my man. 856 01:10:23,751 --> 01:10:25,711 Mina, how are you? 857 01:10:25,919 --> 01:10:27,838 Okay. Just a little nervous. 858 01:10:28,047 --> 01:10:30,341 But you're a little temptress, though, aren't you? 859 01:10:37,723 --> 01:10:39,433 Hey, buddy. How you doing? 860 01:10:39,642 --> 01:10:42,645 Hey. Thanks a lot, thanks a lot. 861 01:11:06,836 --> 01:11:09,214 Hey, there's the big daddy. 862 01:11:09,422 --> 01:11:12,050 Matthew, what has been going on with you? 863 01:11:12,217 --> 01:11:13,927 Some serious shit. 864 01:11:14,219 --> 01:11:17,013 But, Jesus, man, it's good to see you. 865 01:11:17,347 --> 01:11:19,641 Will you excuse us, please? 866 01:11:21,351 --> 01:11:22,644 Oh, my God. Am I blowing it? 867 01:11:22,852 --> 01:11:24,646 Just try and control yourself. 868 01:11:24,813 --> 01:11:28,149 - Just breathe, okay? - All right. 869 01:11:33,029 --> 01:11:35,532 I have learned a lot from my teachers. 870 01:11:36,616 --> 01:11:40,036 But my best teacher has always been my mother... 871 01:11:40,245 --> 01:11:42,914 ...a woman who worked three jobs trying to support me... 872 01:11:43,123 --> 01:11:45,251 ...ever since I was a little niņa. 873 01:11:45,543 --> 01:11:48,421 I will never forget the day she said to me: 874 01:11:51,716 --> 01:11:54,427 And that is why I have always tried to answer the call... 875 01:11:54,635 --> 01:11:56,345 ...of the great John F. Kennedy... 876 01:11:56,554 --> 01:12:00,141 ...who urged us to "Ask not what your country"- 877 01:12:09,734 --> 01:12:11,652 Let's see here... 878 01:12:11,819 --> 01:12:14,030 I can't speak a foreign language... 879 01:12:14,238 --> 01:12:15,531 ...so that's out. 880 01:12:15,823 --> 01:12:19,618 And I- I certainly can't quote J.F.K. Now... 881 01:12:19,827 --> 01:12:22,330 ...can I, Ryan? You know what? 882 01:12:22,621 --> 01:12:25,626 It's funny, I have this whole speech prepared... 883 01:12:25,834 --> 01:12:28,337 ...and I've been practicing for weeks... 884 01:12:28,629 --> 01:12:30,422 ...but you know what? 885 01:12:30,631 --> 01:12:32,132 I'm just gonna go with it. 886 01:12:35,218 --> 01:12:37,846 Moral fiber. 887 01:12:38,055 --> 01:12:40,641 So, what is moral fiber? I mean... 888 01:12:40,849 --> 01:12:44,227 It's funny, I used to think it was always telling the truth... 889 01:12:44,436 --> 01:12:46,021 ...doing good deeds. 890 01:12:46,229 --> 01:12:48,649 You know, basically being a fucking Boy Scout. 891 01:12:50,525 --> 01:12:52,819 But lately, I've been seeing it differently. 892 01:12:54,321 --> 01:12:56,239 Now I think that moral fiber's about... 893 01:12:56,448 --> 01:12:58,742 ...finding that one thing you really care about. 894 01:12:59,951 --> 01:13:01,453 That one special thing that means more... 895 01:13:01,536 --> 01:13:03,914 ...to you than anything else in the world. 896 01:13:05,749 --> 01:13:07,043 And when you find her... 897 01:13:08,336 --> 01:13:11,547 ...you fight for her. You risk it all. 898 01:13:12,096 --> 01:13:12,096 ...your future, your life... 899 01:13:12,131 --> 01:13:15,927 You put her in front of everything... 900 01:13:16,135 --> 01:13:17,720 ...all of it. 901 01:13:18,638 --> 01:13:22,350 And maybe the stuff you do to help her isn't so clean. 902 01:13:23,017 --> 01:13:24,727 You know what? It doesn't matter. 903 01:13:27,021 --> 01:13:29,148 Because in your heart you know... 904 01:13:30,024 --> 01:13:32,026 ...that the juice is worth the squeeze. 905 01:13:34,654 --> 01:13:36,948 That's what moral fiber's all about. 906 01:14:00,639 --> 01:14:03,434 First, I'd just like to commend the candidates on... 907 01:14:03,517 --> 01:14:05,728 ...their impressive remarks. 908 01:14:06,854 --> 01:14:10,024 This year was a very tough decision. 909 01:14:10,441 --> 01:14:14,737 And as much as we'd love to give you all scholarships, we can't. 910 01:14:15,154 --> 01:14:18,449 And so I am proud to announce the winner... 911 01:14:18,615 --> 01:14:20,743 ...of this year's Sheridan scholarship: 912 01:14:26,123 --> 01:14:28,835 Ryan Winger. 913 01:15:09,626 --> 01:15:11,420 Oh, God, what happened? 914 01:15:12,546 --> 01:15:14,256 Yeah, I slipped. 915 01:15:14,423 --> 01:15:17,051 Listen, Jeannie, Samnang's coming on Monday. 916 01:15:17,218 --> 01:15:19,637 - I know. How exciting. - Yeah. 917 01:15:19,845 --> 01:15:21,847 So I'm gonna need to close out the account. 918 01:15:22,056 --> 01:15:23,641 What do you mean? 919 01:15:23,849 --> 01:15:26,352 I mean I'm gonna need to close out the account. 920 01:15:26,519 --> 01:15:29,355 - But it's already closed. - What are you talking about? 921 01:15:29,647 --> 01:15:32,525 Your teacher came by yesterday and cleared out the account. 922 01:15:32,733 --> 01:15:34,026 Who? What- What teacher? 923 01:15:34,318 --> 01:15:35,945 Your student advisor. Mr. Salinger. 924 01:15:36,028 --> 01:15:37,947 The one you were with the other day. 925 01:15:38,239 --> 01:15:41,534 Mr. Salinger? What are you-? 926 01:15:51,420 --> 01:15:53,630 Cambodia 927 01:15:53,922 --> 01:15:56,425 Samnang, what's wrong, my son? 928 01:15:56,842 --> 01:15:58,927 That Matthew Kidman. 929 01:15:59,136 --> 01:16:04,224 He fucked me, Mom. He fucked me so bad. 930 01:16:04,433 --> 01:16:06,059 Son of a bitch. 931 01:16:09,354 --> 01:16:10,647 Oh, my God. 932 01:16:11,148 --> 01:16:12,733 - What's wrong? - Jeannie... 933 01:16:13,734 --> 01:16:15,444 ...didn't you ask for ID or anything? 934 01:16:16,528 --> 01:16:19,448 You said he was your student advisor. 935 01:16:19,531 --> 01:16:20,824 Oh, my God. 936 01:16:23,160 --> 01:16:25,454 - Jeannie, where are you going? - To get the manager. 937 01:16:25,746 --> 01:16:27,247 No, hold on. Wait, wait, wait. 938 01:16:28,248 --> 01:16:29,541 Matthew, what's going on? 939 01:16:30,042 --> 01:16:31,752 Look... 940 01:16:32,545 --> 01:16:34,631 ...that guy wasn't my student advisor. 941 01:16:35,923 --> 01:16:38,926 No, I know, I know. I can get the money back. 942 01:16:39,135 --> 01:16:42,847 We just need to keep this between me and you for now, okay? 943 01:16:43,431 --> 01:16:46,643 That's a great blouse, by the way. Have you lost weight? 944 01:16:46,934 --> 01:16:48,728 No? No, wait, wait. 945 01:16:49,937 --> 01:16:51,147 Jeannie. 946 01:16:52,732 --> 01:16:55,652 You think about this. This is your fault too. Right? 947 01:16:55,943 --> 01:16:58,446 You didn't ask for ID. You didn't do anything. 948 01:16:58,655 --> 01:17:00,657 And I saw you flirting with him too... 949 01:17:00,740 --> 01:17:01,824 ...all right? So unprofessional. 950 01:17:02,033 --> 01:17:03,951 You'll lose your job over this. 951 01:17:04,035 --> 01:17:05,328 Don't threaten me, you little shit. 952 01:17:05,536 --> 01:17:07,455 I could give a fuck about you and your rice boy. 953 01:17:07,538 --> 01:17:08,956 I'm not getting fired. 954 01:17:09,123 --> 01:17:12,043 Okay, okay. I'm sorry. Just- Please, I... 955 01:17:12,251 --> 01:17:14,421 Just- No one can ever find out about this. 956 01:17:14,630 --> 01:17:17,424 If this gets out, I'll be expelled. My life will be over. 957 01:17:17,633 --> 01:17:19,426 If that money isn't back by Monday... 958 01:17:19,551 --> 01:17:21,553 ...I wouldn't worry about being expelled. 959 01:17:21,762 --> 01:17:23,347 I'd worry about going to jail. 960 01:17:25,641 --> 01:17:27,142 - Jeannie... - Hi, Jeannie. 961 01:17:27,351 --> 01:17:29,144 Hi, Martin. 962 01:17:38,821 --> 01:17:40,155 BANK MANAGER 963 01:17:57,632 --> 01:17:59,634 Matthew, what's wrong? 964 01:17:59,926 --> 01:18:03,555 Matt, is there something you want to talk about? 965 01:18:04,139 --> 01:18:06,850 Matthew, honey, what is it? 966 01:18:13,732 --> 01:18:16,860 - Hi. - Come here. 967 01:18:24,242 --> 01:18:26,453 I'm in so much trouble. 968 01:18:39,133 --> 01:18:42,261 I can't believe we're even thinking about this. 969 01:18:45,222 --> 01:18:48,059 Well, if you need that kind of money by Monday... 970 01:18:48,851 --> 01:18:50,353 Yeah- What are we doing? 971 01:18:50,436 --> 01:18:52,229 I mean, I can't get you involved in this. 972 01:18:52,563 --> 01:18:54,357 I want to do it. 973 01:18:54,732 --> 01:18:56,359 Why? 974 01:18:58,361 --> 01:19:00,363 Moral fiber. 975 01:19:02,448 --> 01:19:02,948 I'm in. 976 01:19:03,032 --> 01:19:04,825 You haven't heard the whole plan yet. 977 01:19:05,034 --> 01:19:06,327 Doesn't matter. 978 01:19:06,535 --> 01:19:08,454 Fuck film school. 979 01:19:08,663 --> 01:19:12,249 This is gonna be huge. This is gonna be my calling card. 980 01:19:13,834 --> 01:19:15,753 - No. - Klitzy... 981 01:19:15,961 --> 01:19:17,756 - No way. - Klitz... 982 01:19:17,964 --> 01:19:20,842 ...you know I wouldn't ask for this unless I really needed it. 983 01:19:21,134 --> 01:19:23,553 Matt believe me, I want to help you, but- No. 984 01:19:23,762 --> 01:19:25,847 - We'll get expelled and- - Klitz, shut up. 985 01:19:26,056 --> 01:19:28,350 Do me a favor, okay? 986 01:19:28,558 --> 01:19:32,062 Take a look at us, okay? Take a good look at us. 987 01:19:32,854 --> 01:19:35,148 Do you know what we are, the three of us? 988 01:19:38,026 --> 01:19:42,239 - What? - We're a fucking tripod. 989 01:19:42,447 --> 01:19:44,658 - A tripod? - Yeah. 990 01:19:44,825 --> 01:19:46,660 And you know what that means? 991 01:19:46,827 --> 01:19:50,539 That means that if you kick out one of our legs, then we all fall. 992 01:19:52,624 --> 01:19:54,126 Come on, baby. 993 01:19:59,048 --> 01:20:00,842 Fuck. 994 01:20:02,635 --> 01:20:04,554 I know it was you, Klitzy. 995 01:20:07,640 --> 01:20:10,143 - Where is she? - Oh, there they are. Hey. 996 01:20:12,353 --> 01:20:14,147 - Hey! - Hi, Danielle. 997 01:20:15,940 --> 01:20:17,859 Hi. 998 01:20:18,026 --> 01:20:19,861 - Hey, let's get our luggage! - Yeah. 999 01:20:20,028 --> 01:20:21,738 - Yeah! - All right? 1000 01:20:22,155 --> 01:20:24,157 - I'll be there in a minute. - Okay! 1001 01:20:45,137 --> 01:20:47,848 So if I pull this off, I get the 25 grand on Sunday? 1002 01:20:48,057 --> 01:20:51,727 Kid, you pull this off I'll take care of your little Samsung. 1003 01:20:51,852 --> 01:20:52,936 Samnang. 1004 01:20:53,145 --> 01:20:54,438 Whatever. 1005 01:20:54,647 --> 01:20:56,357 Have a nice prom, kid. 1006 01:20:59,943 --> 01:21:03,155 - All right, minions, over here. - Good luck. 1007 01:21:13,957 --> 01:21:15,751 Relax, relax. 1008 01:21:15,959 --> 01:21:17,961 You know what? Go wait in the car. Go. 1009 01:21:22,968 --> 01:21:24,552 Jesus. 1010 01:21:27,347 --> 01:21:30,934 Gentlemen, these are your prom dates, April and Ferrari. 1011 01:21:31,768 --> 01:21:35,855 Ladies, we have Eli and Klitz. 1012 01:21:36,731 --> 01:21:38,233 Your name is Klitz? 1013 01:21:39,234 --> 01:21:40,735 With a K. 1014 01:21:41,027 --> 01:21:44,948 Okay, get a two-shot. Minions. All right, guys, get closer. 1015 01:21:45,156 --> 01:21:48,743 Yeah, that's right. Show me the love. Oh, feel it. Feel it! 1016 01:21:49,035 --> 01:21:50,662 - Nice. - Eli? 1017 01:21:50,954 --> 01:21:53,164 Do those girls go to your school? 1018 01:21:53,832 --> 01:21:55,333 Actually, no. 1019 01:21:55,667 --> 01:21:57,043 Mrs. Kidman... 1020 01:21:57,252 --> 01:22:01,465 ...they're porn stars. - Oh, yeah, right. 1021 01:22:16,856 --> 01:22:18,733 You look... 1022 01:22:19,567 --> 01:22:21,068 You- You look really nice. 1023 01:22:21,944 --> 01:22:23,446 Thanks. 1024 01:22:23,654 --> 01:22:26,032 You really do, hon. You look so beautiful. 1025 01:22:26,365 --> 01:22:27,658 Really? 1026 01:22:27,867 --> 01:22:29,243 Thanks. 1027 01:22:48,138 --> 01:22:49,765 WELCOME TO THE SENIOR PROM 1028 01:23:18,043 --> 01:23:19,544 What are all these cameras for? 1029 01:23:20,545 --> 01:23:22,255 For video yearbook. 1030 01:23:46,531 --> 01:23:50,034 So, what should we do? Should we start setting up? 1031 01:23:50,368 --> 01:23:53,037 Yeah, look, we just gotta keep this low-key, okay? 1032 01:23:53,246 --> 01:23:54,539 Okay. What are you gonna do? 1033 01:23:56,457 --> 01:23:58,042 I'm gonna get our actors. 1034 01:24:01,170 --> 01:24:04,257 - Dude, make sure they can act. - Yeah, all right. 1035 01:24:04,465 --> 01:24:07,845 - Just get out of here, okay? - Hey, I got this taken care of. 1036 01:24:08,053 --> 01:24:11,056 You just show this little lady a good time tonight, all right? 1037 01:24:11,265 --> 01:24:13,767 - Minions, let's move. - Wait. So, what are we doing? 1038 01:24:13,934 --> 01:24:15,269 Relax, relax. 1039 01:24:20,232 --> 01:24:22,234 Come on, play it cool, play it cool. 1040 01:24:37,541 --> 01:24:39,460 Look, they're coming to you. 1041 01:24:40,461 --> 01:24:41,754 I, Matt. 1042 01:24:41,962 --> 01:24:43,964 - What's up? - What's up? 1043 01:24:44,548 --> 01:24:48,261 - Can we talk to you for a second? - Dude, I'm with my girl here. 1044 01:24:49,346 --> 01:24:51,348 - Sorry, man. - Should we come back? 1045 01:24:51,556 --> 01:24:53,850 No, I'll leave you guys alone. 1046 01:25:07,238 --> 01:25:07,947 What's up? 1047 01:25:08,073 --> 01:25:09,949 Hey, man, what's up with those girls? 1048 01:25:10,241 --> 01:25:13,870 - What about them? - Are they, like...? 1049 01:25:15,038 --> 01:25:16,373 Are they porn stars? 1050 01:25:17,248 --> 01:25:19,668 - Yeah. - Shit. 1051 01:25:20,960 --> 01:25:22,671 I knew I recognized them. I knew it. 1052 01:25:23,838 --> 01:25:25,840 - Can we meet them? - Yeah. 1053 01:25:29,136 --> 01:25:31,639 How'd you boys like to be in a movie? 1054 01:25:31,847 --> 01:25:33,641 - What are these? - Your scripts. 1055 01:25:33,849 --> 01:25:35,643 Sign the release form at the top. 1056 01:25:35,851 --> 01:25:38,145 Come on, you guys, wait up! 1057 01:25:41,273 --> 01:25:42,441 PHOTO RELEASE 1058 01:25:46,654 --> 01:25:47,947 Are these our actors? 1059 01:25:48,739 --> 01:25:50,741 Just these two. 1060 01:25:50,950 --> 01:25:52,868 What about me, dude? 1061 01:25:53,035 --> 01:25:56,747 Sorry, bro. Party's all full. 1062 01:25:58,541 --> 01:26:00,042 Gentlemen. 1063 01:26:04,547 --> 01:26:08,342 As an artist, I want it to come from a truthful place. 1064 01:26:09,261 --> 01:26:12,139 Holy shit. 1065 01:26:15,142 --> 01:26:17,853 - Ferrari. Ferrari. Focus. Listen. - Oh, okay. 1066 01:26:18,061 --> 01:26:20,147 - Are we...? - No, I can do this. Don't worry. 1067 01:26:20,355 --> 01:26:22,357 Think Meryl Streep, Sophie's Choice. 1068 01:26:31,867 --> 01:26:33,160 Hey. 1069 01:26:33,368 --> 01:26:34,870 Hey. 1070 01:26:40,042 --> 01:26:42,544 Next location! Come on, move! 1071 01:26:42,753 --> 01:26:45,339 Move, move, move! Let's go! 1072 01:26:52,138 --> 01:26:54,140 - I gotta be in this. - Shut up. Take this. 1073 01:27:10,239 --> 01:27:12,241 Oh, come on! Take the pain! 1074 01:27:12,450 --> 01:27:13,951 Take the pain! Get up. Come on! 1075 01:27:17,747 --> 01:27:19,374 May I have a word with you? 1076 01:27:21,042 --> 01:27:23,544 - What's up? - I found this in the hallway. 1077 01:27:24,253 --> 01:27:25,546 Do you know what this is? 1078 01:27:26,255 --> 01:27:27,465 No, what is it? 1079 01:27:27,548 --> 01:27:29,967 Looks like a release form for something. 1080 01:27:31,053 --> 01:27:32,846 Yeah, I don't know what it is. 1081 01:27:35,140 --> 01:27:37,059 Have a good night. 1082 01:27:55,244 --> 01:27:56,745 You're strong. 1083 01:27:56,954 --> 01:27:58,455 You're firm. 1084 01:27:58,664 --> 01:28:00,958 But you have a secret. 1085 01:28:01,166 --> 01:28:03,168 Show that to me. 1086 01:28:16,641 --> 01:28:18,560 Thank you. 1087 01:28:19,060 --> 01:28:20,937 For what? 1088 01:28:21,354 --> 01:28:23,356 I never went to prom. 1089 01:28:45,253 --> 01:28:47,255 Excuse me, sir? 1090 01:28:47,839 --> 01:28:49,257 We have a problem. 1091 01:28:51,843 --> 01:28:54,138 - What's wrong? - Derek didn't work out. 1092 01:28:54,555 --> 01:28:56,849 - What happened? - Let's just say he wasn't strong... 1093 01:28:57,141 --> 01:28:58,851 ...or firm. 1094 01:28:59,060 --> 01:29:01,145 Guys, I can't work like this. 1095 01:29:01,479 --> 01:29:03,564 Okay, relax. We'll just get somebody else. 1096 01:29:03,773 --> 01:29:04,440 There is nobody else. 1097 01:29:04,565 --> 01:29:06,859 I thought everyone's dying to be in this. 1098 01:29:07,068 --> 01:29:09,278 Not this scene. 1099 01:29:11,656 --> 01:29:12,948 All right. 1100 01:29:13,157 --> 01:29:15,368 This is the key scene. 1101 01:29:15,576 --> 01:29:18,663 If we don't get this, Hugo's not gonna buy it. 1102 01:29:19,372 --> 01:29:21,874 Yeah, well, somebody's gotta step up. 1103 01:29:22,041 --> 01:29:24,960 - Why are you looking at me? - Because you're doing it. 1104 01:29:25,169 --> 01:29:27,463 Whoa, whoa, Mr. I-Just-Wanna-Bang-Hot-Chicks. 1105 01:29:27,672 --> 01:29:29,840 Here's your first chance. 1106 01:29:30,341 --> 01:29:32,259 Klitz, I can't act and direct, okay? 1107 01:29:32,468 --> 01:29:33,844 Oh, okay, fine. I'll direct. 1108 01:29:34,053 --> 01:29:35,639 - You're a director now? - Yeah, I am. 1109 01:29:35,847 --> 01:29:37,766 Okay, Spielberg, what lens will you use? 1110 01:29:37,974 --> 01:29:39,351 - It's a video camera. - So? 1111 01:29:39,643 --> 01:29:42,354 Dude, you don't need to change the lens on a video camera. 1112 01:29:42,562 --> 01:29:45,565 You know what? Take this camera and shove it up your ass! 1113 01:29:45,774 --> 01:29:47,442 I'll do it. 1114 01:29:50,153 --> 01:29:51,780 I'll do it. 1115 01:29:52,739 --> 01:29:55,075 You guys have been great, but this is my mess. 1116 01:29:55,242 --> 01:29:57,160 - I'll clean it up. - Matt. Matt. 1117 01:29:57,369 --> 01:29:59,871 Your face is gonna be in this. Think about that. 1118 01:30:32,655 --> 01:30:35,575 - Come here, baby. - Let's... 1119 01:30:36,451 --> 01:30:38,244 Picture's up, people. 1120 01:30:51,049 --> 01:30:52,467 Are you ready, hon? 1121 01:30:52,675 --> 01:30:53,968 Yeah. 1122 01:30:54,177 --> 01:30:55,970 Okay, let's do this. 1123 01:31:04,271 --> 01:31:06,065 And... 1124 01:31:06,357 --> 01:31:07,775 ...action. 1125 01:31:11,654 --> 01:31:13,864 What the hell is going on in here? 1126 01:31:17,242 --> 01:31:19,244 - Nobody move! - Oh, shit. 1127 01:31:19,453 --> 01:31:21,246 Who is in charge of this? 1128 01:31:22,873 --> 01:31:24,667 I asked you people a question! 1129 01:31:24,875 --> 01:31:26,877 Who is in charge here? 1130 01:31:40,850 --> 01:31:42,352 Fuck it. 1131 01:32:12,882 --> 01:32:15,552 All right, everybody, take five. 1132 01:32:16,678 --> 01:32:17,971 What's wrong? 1133 01:32:18,179 --> 01:32:19,849 I can't do this. 1134 01:32:20,057 --> 01:32:21,684 What happened? 1135 01:32:33,654 --> 01:32:35,781 What are you gonna do? 1136 01:32:38,284 --> 01:32:40,369 I don't know. Doesn't matter. 1137 01:32:44,457 --> 01:32:46,375 No. 1138 01:32:46,584 --> 01:32:48,252 I'll do it. 1139 01:32:48,878 --> 01:32:50,546 Klitz, it's cool. You don't have to- 1140 01:32:50,671 --> 01:32:52,048 No, no, I'm doing it. 1141 01:32:53,174 --> 01:32:54,759 Why? 1142 01:32:55,551 --> 01:32:57,678 Because we're a fucking tripod. 1143 01:32:59,055 --> 01:33:02,059 All right, here we go, people. Picture's up. 1144 01:33:03,477 --> 01:33:06,480 Listen, I know this is unprofessional... 1145 01:33:06,647 --> 01:33:08,774 ...but I think you're really cute. 1146 01:33:08,982 --> 01:33:10,567 Yeah, right. 1147 01:33:11,568 --> 01:33:13,570 I'm serious. 1148 01:33:14,363 --> 01:33:15,864 Really cute. 1149 01:33:16,657 --> 01:33:17,949 How we doing, Klitzy? 1150 01:33:19,785 --> 01:33:21,244 Fucking great, man. 1151 01:33:21,453 --> 01:33:22,746 Let's do this. 1152 01:33:23,163 --> 01:33:25,248 And action! 1153 01:34:16,050 --> 01:34:17,677 See you guys. 1154 01:34:20,054 --> 01:34:22,056 Good night, guys. 1155 01:34:27,271 --> 01:34:28,772 So... 1156 01:34:28,981 --> 01:34:31,567 ...what's the craziest thing you've done lately? 1157 01:35:47,269 --> 01:35:49,271 - Hello? - We're dead. 1158 01:35:49,480 --> 01:35:51,774 - Eli? - Dude, the tape's not here. 1159 01:35:51,983 --> 01:35:53,275 - I can't find it. - What? 1160 01:35:53,484 --> 01:35:56,654 Dude, I'm not kidding, okay? I've looked everywhere, okay? 1161 01:35:56,988 --> 01:35:57,780 All right, calm down. 1162 01:35:57,863 --> 01:35:59,782 No, dude, you calm down! It's gone! 1163 01:35:59,949 --> 01:36:02,660 - What do you mean it's gone? - I mean it's freaking gone. 1164 01:36:03,160 --> 01:36:04,954 Somebody stole it! 1165 01:36:05,162 --> 01:36:06,455 Jesus Christ! 1166 01:36:06,580 --> 01:36:08,082 Matthew, could you come in here? 1167 01:36:13,879 --> 01:36:15,965 This is Mr. Simon. 1168 01:36:17,967 --> 01:36:21,053 He says he has something very important to discuss with us. 1169 01:36:25,266 --> 01:36:26,560 Why don't you sit down. 1170 01:36:30,272 --> 01:36:32,482 Actually, if you don't mind... 1171 01:36:32,649 --> 01:36:34,985 ...may I have a word with the boy alone first? 1172 01:36:36,570 --> 01:36:38,155 Sure. 1173 01:36:47,164 --> 01:36:48,373 So how was prom? 1174 01:36:51,376 --> 01:36:53,170 - That's mine. - You know, we were fine. 1175 01:36:53,378 --> 01:36:56,465 But now you go and do this? This was my idea. 1176 01:36:56,673 --> 01:36:58,467 Now I'm really gonna fuck your shit up. 1177 01:36:59,551 --> 01:37:01,178 I'm gonna need that back. 1178 01:37:04,890 --> 01:37:06,266 Take it from me. 1179 01:37:09,854 --> 01:37:11,773 Yeah... 1180 01:37:11,981 --> 01:37:13,983 ...what are you gonna do? 1181 01:37:15,985 --> 01:37:17,362 I don't have to do anything. 1182 01:37:18,071 --> 01:37:19,864 Hugo Posh will. 1183 01:37:20,073 --> 01:37:22,950 Yeah, he's my partner on this, 50-50. 1184 01:37:23,951 --> 01:37:26,454 So could I please have my tape back? 1185 01:37:26,663 --> 01:37:28,456 Fuck you! 1186 01:37:29,582 --> 01:37:32,085 Fuck you. I'm taking your half then. 1187 01:37:32,251 --> 01:37:35,880 No. That money's going to Samnang. The money you stole from him. 1188 01:37:36,089 --> 01:37:39,467 You say that like I care. I don't give a shit. 1189 01:37:39,676 --> 01:37:41,469 You're giving me your half. 1190 01:37:41,969 --> 01:37:44,055 And if I don't? 1191 01:37:44,764 --> 01:37:46,057 Showtime. 1192 01:37:52,564 --> 01:37:55,150 - Okay. - "Okay," what? 1193 01:37:56,777 --> 01:37:58,570 Show them the tape. 1194 01:37:58,862 --> 01:38:00,572 I'm not fucking around. 1195 01:38:02,157 --> 01:38:04,159 I just don't care anymore. 1196 01:38:06,078 --> 01:38:07,579 This... 1197 01:38:07,788 --> 01:38:10,374 ...is gonna be interesting. 1198 01:38:14,253 --> 01:38:16,755 Dan, Marci, Mr. Salinger... 1199 01:38:16,964 --> 01:38:20,092 ...would you mind joining me in the living room for a second? 1200 01:38:20,259 --> 01:38:21,760 Great. 1201 01:38:29,184 --> 01:38:32,772 Matthew, is there anything you want to say before we watch this? 1202 01:38:36,693 --> 01:38:38,778 Okay, then. On with the show. 1203 01:38:42,282 --> 01:38:44,367 Hello. I'm April. 1204 01:38:44,576 --> 01:38:46,161 And I'm Ferrari. 1205 01:38:46,369 --> 01:38:49,956 You may recognize us as stars of the adult entertainment industry. 1206 01:38:50,290 --> 01:38:52,459 And today we're taking time out to talk about... 1207 01:38:52,584 --> 01:38:54,252 ...a very important subject. 1208 01:38:54,461 --> 01:38:55,962 - Sex. - Sex. 1209 01:38:57,172 --> 01:38:59,466 Special events such as senior prom... 1210 01:38:59,674 --> 01:39:00,759 ...place added pressure on young teens... 1211 01:39:00,967 --> 01:39:03,970 ...to lose their virginity and engage in unprotected sex. 1212 01:39:04,179 --> 01:39:06,556 I know I lost my virginity at my senior... 1213 01:39:06,681 --> 01:39:08,558 ...prom. When'd you lose yours, April? 1214 01:39:08,767 --> 01:39:11,771 - When I was 10. - Moving on. 1215 01:39:11,979 --> 01:39:14,482 In this video, we'll go through. 1216 01:39:14,565 --> 01:39:16,067 ...everything from kissing to foreplay. 1217 01:39:16,275 --> 01:39:20,071 And for our finale, we'll show you how to put a condom on properly... 1218 01:39:20,279 --> 01:39:22,490 ...using a real person. 1219 01:39:22,573 --> 01:39:25,159 No cucumbers or bananas in this video. 1220 01:39:25,368 --> 01:39:27,453 So for those of you naughty boys... 1221 01:39:27,578 --> 01:39:29,288 ...expecting to see a raunchy porn video... 1222 01:39:29,664 --> 01:39:32,792 ...you might as well turn this off now... 1223 01:39:32,958 --> 01:39:34,669 ...because you're not gonna see sex. 1224 01:39:34,877 --> 01:39:36,379 What the fuck is this shit? 1225 01:39:36,587 --> 01:39:39,382 You're gonna see sex education. 1226 01:39:41,592 --> 01:39:43,177 The ELI EXPERIENCE presents 1227 01:39:44,553 --> 01:39:47,765 ADULT EDUCATION Sex Education for the 21st Century 1228 01:39:50,893 --> 01:39:52,854 This is interesting, Matthew. 1229 01:39:56,358 --> 01:39:57,693 Yeah. 1230 01:39:57,859 --> 01:40:00,278 Yeah, I think it's a great idea. 1231 01:40:03,657 --> 01:40:06,994 Well, you remember those sex-ed films back in our day. 1232 01:40:07,577 --> 01:40:10,872 Well, I'll tell you, if they were anything like this... 1233 01:40:11,081 --> 01:40:14,167 ...we sure would've paid more attention, don't you think? 1234 01:40:15,877 --> 01:40:18,088 I think it's atrocious. 1235 01:40:21,091 --> 01:40:22,384 But... 1236 01:40:22,592 --> 01:40:24,386 ...the hell with it. 1237 01:40:25,679 --> 01:40:27,973 The kids today are so goddamn screwed up... 1238 01:40:28,181 --> 01:40:31,184 ...maybe this is the only way you can reach them. 1239 01:40:34,188 --> 01:40:36,482 You just might have something here, Matthew. 1240 01:40:37,066 --> 01:40:38,860 I think it's pretty wild. 1241 01:40:40,069 --> 01:40:42,071 This could really sell, don't you think? 1242 01:40:43,489 --> 01:40:45,658 How'd you come up with such an idea, Matthew? 1243 01:40:47,160 --> 01:40:48,494 What can I say? 1244 01:40:49,871 --> 01:40:51,956 It's like a gift, you know? 1245 01:40:52,874 --> 01:40:54,959 It's like I can't control it. 1246 01:40:58,963 --> 01:41:00,256 We've Only. Just Begun. 1247 01:41:03,676 --> 01:41:04,969 YEARBOOKS TODAY! 1248 01:41:05,178 --> 01:41:08,765 Courtney Booth. I will always remember late nights in Cabby- 1249 01:41:08,973 --> 01:41:10,767 Eric Zierdal. I'll always remember- 1250 01:41:10,975 --> 01:41:12,268 Kurt Kilgore. I will- 1251 01:41:12,477 --> 01:41:13,478 Joseph Croft. 1252 01:41:13,686 --> 01:41:16,273 I will always remember wrestling and the great memories we had. 1253 01:41:16,482 --> 01:41:19,568 Matthew Kidman. I will always remember... 1254 01:41:22,071 --> 01:41:24,573 ...the three legs of the tripod. 1255 01:41:24,990 --> 01:41:28,369 I'm here with Hugo Posh, the producer of Adult Education... 1256 01:41:28,577 --> 01:41:31,872 ...the hottest-selling sex-education video ever made... 1257 01:41:32,081 --> 01:41:34,875 ...being utilized in classrooms across the globe. 1258 01:41:35,084 --> 01:41:39,380 Hugo, you're known primarily as a hard-core pornographer, correct? 1259 01:41:39,588 --> 01:41:40,881 My business partner. 1260 01:41:41,090 --> 01:41:42,466 Let me break it down for you 1261 01:41:42,675 --> 01:41:45,761 See, Hugo Posh isn't just tits. He isn't just ass. 1262 01:41:46,887 --> 01:41:50,766 I mean, yes, he is those things, but Hugo Posh is also heart. 1263 01:41:51,392 --> 01:41:53,185 What an ass-bag. 1264 01:41:53,894 --> 01:41:55,397 THE JUICE WAS WORTH THE SQUEEZE 1265 01:41:55,897 --> 01:41:57,982 Fucking kid. 1266 01:41:58,191 --> 01:41:59,984 My student advisor. 1267 01:42:00,193 --> 01:42:02,195 All right, people. 1268 01:42:02,696 --> 01:42:04,197 Let's make some fucky-fucky. 1269 01:42:04,364 --> 01:42:07,158 Now, Hugo, you and your partner have made millions on this. 1270 01:42:07,367 --> 01:42:09,077 So who is this silent partner? 1271 01:42:10,495 --> 01:42:13,456 Well, he prefers to remain anonymous. 1272 01:42:21,089 --> 01:42:24,092 You better cure cancer, kid. 1273 01:42:24,259 --> 01:42:25,885 The next Einstein. 1274 01:42:26,261 --> 01:42:28,179 All right. Yeah, next question. 1275 01:42:29,264 --> 01:42:31,391 - All right. - Eli's calling card. 1276 01:42:31,558 --> 01:42:33,685 - How about you, buddy? - Yeah, Mr. Brooks... 1277 01:42:33,893 --> 01:42:35,979 ...why did you decide to skip film school? 1278 01:42:36,187 --> 01:42:38,065 Don't you think you're a little young? 1279 01:42:38,190 --> 01:42:39,483 Shut the fuck up! 1280 01:42:39,692 --> 01:42:41,193 Next question! Faster! 1281 01:42:41,360 --> 01:42:43,779 I got the tape! Can you see? I got the tape! 1282 01:42:45,865 --> 01:42:47,783 For our finale, I will now demonstrate... 1283 01:42:47,867 --> 01:42:48,784 ...the proper technique... 1284 01:42:48,993 --> 01:42:50,578 ...for putting a condom on the real thing. 1285 01:42:50,661 --> 01:42:52,496 Is my volunteer ready? 1286 01:42:52,663 --> 01:42:54,498 Klitz's big debut. 1287 01:42:54,790 --> 01:42:56,667 Shut up, shut up! Here he is, here he is. 1288 01:43:04,258 --> 01:43:06,969 Jesus, look at that guy. 1289 01:43:07,762 --> 01:43:10,598 He is huge. 1290 01:43:15,269 --> 01:43:18,565 My own scholarship to Georgetown. 1291 01:43:23,278 --> 01:43:25,864 And of course, I'll never forget... 1292 01:43:26,073 --> 01:43:27,366 ...the girl next door. 1293 01:43:35,374 --> 01:43:37,459 As for me... 1294 01:43:38,293 --> 01:43:40,671 ...I'm just going with it. 1295 01:43:41,305 --> 01:44:41,505 Support us and become VIP member to remove all ads from OpenSubtitles.org