1
00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:12,074
Play one of the best new FPS shooters,
search Steam for PROJECT WARLOCK

2
00:00:55,000 --> 00:00:57,300
Last orders, please.

3
00:01:04,200 --> 00:01:06,200
- Shaun.
- Yeah?

4
00:01:06,300 --> 00:01:09,500
- Do you see what I'm saying?
- Yeah, totally.

5
00:01:10,800 --> 00:01:13,600
I know he's your best friend
but you do live with him.

6
00:01:13,700 --> 00:01:15,200
I know...

7
00:01:15,400 --> 00:01:19,000
It's not that I don't like Ed.
Ed, it's not that I don't like you.

8
00:01:19,100 --> 00:01:21,500
It's all right.

9
00:01:21,600 --> 00:01:24,800
- It'd just be nice if we could...
- Fuck.

10
00:01:25,100 --> 00:01:28,200
...spend a bit more time together.
- Bollocks.

11
00:01:28,300 --> 00:01:30,400
- Just the two of us.
- Cock it.

12
00:01:30,600 --> 00:01:33,900
With Ed here, it's no wonder
I always bring my flatmates out

13
00:01:34,200 --> 00:01:36,300
and that only exacerbates things.

14
00:01:36,300 --> 00:01:40,300
- What do you mean?
- You guys hardly get on, do you?

15
00:01:40,600 --> 00:01:42,500
No, what does "exacerbate" mean?

16
00:01:42,700 --> 00:01:44,700
It means to make things worse.

17
00:01:44,800 --> 00:01:46,800
Right, right.

18
00:01:47,000 --> 00:01:50,700
Well, I mean, it's not that
I don't like David and Di, you know.

19
00:01:50,800 --> 00:01:54,400
- Guys, it's not that I don't like you.
- It's all right.

20
00:01:54,600 --> 00:01:56,800
And I do want to spend time with you.

21
00:01:56,900 --> 00:01:59,900
It's just Ed doesn't have too many friends.

22
00:02:00,000 --> 00:02:03,400
Can I get any of you cunts a drink?

23
00:02:05,500 --> 00:02:07,500
Anybody?

24
00:02:07,700 --> 00:02:10,000
No, thank you.

25
00:02:10,200 --> 00:02:12,400
I know...

26
00:02:12,500 --> 00:02:14,700
friends are important to Shaun

27
00:02:14,800 --> 00:02:17,800
but you must set some
quality time aside for yourselves.

28
00:02:18,000 --> 00:02:21,300
Daffs is always taking me
to see these listed buildings

29
00:02:21,500 --> 00:02:24,000
and I'm always dragging him to the theatre.

30
00:02:24,100 --> 00:02:27,000
- I'm not so hot on theatre.
- How about a meal?

31
00:02:27,100 --> 00:02:30,100
- It's your anniversary soon.
- It was last week.

32
00:02:30,400 --> 00:02:33,200
- Did you do anything special?
- We came here.

33
00:02:33,300 --> 00:02:35,500
Shaun. Hog lumps.

34
00:02:35,600 --> 00:02:39,000
Shaun, what I'm trying to say is
I need something more,

35
00:02:39,200 --> 00:02:42,700
more than spending every night
in the Winchester.

36
00:02:42,900 --> 00:02:45,200
I want to do more interesting stuff.

37
00:02:45,300 --> 00:02:49,500
I want you to want to want to do it.

38
00:02:49,700 --> 00:02:52,800
Listen to me.
I'm beginning to sound like your mum.

39
00:02:53,000 --> 00:02:55,800
- Not that I'd know.
- You haven't met his mum?

40
00:02:55,900 --> 00:02:58,800
- Not yet.
- Don't you get along with your mum?

41
00:02:58,900 --> 00:03:02,400
- It's not her...
- Are you ashamed by your mum, Shaun?

42
00:03:02,600 --> 00:03:04,900
- No, I love my mum.
- I love his mum.

43
00:03:05,000 --> 00:03:07,300
- # She's like butter #
- Ed!

44
00:03:07,400 --> 00:03:09,600
- Shaun!
- Liz.

45
00:03:09,700 --> 00:03:12,800
I understand what
you're trying to say and I agree.

46
00:03:12,900 --> 00:03:15,400
We should get out there.
We'll start tomorrow.

47
00:03:15,600 --> 00:03:18,900
I'll book a restaurant.
The place that does all the fish.

48
00:03:19,000 --> 00:03:20,900
Just the two of us.

49
00:03:21,000 --> 00:03:23,900
Things will change. I promise.

50
00:03:24,000 --> 00:03:25,800
Really, Shaun?

51
00:03:28,200 --> 00:03:30,000
Time, gentlemen.

52
00:03:30,200 --> 00:03:33,800
- # This town is coming like a ghost town #
- Shaun?

53
00:04:40,900 --> 00:04:43,200
'Player two has entered the game.'

54
00:04:43,300 --> 00:04:45,500
Haven't you got work?

55
00:04:45,700 --> 00:04:48,400
'Player two has left the game.'

56
00:05:01,000 --> 00:05:03,600
The front door was open again last night.

57
00:05:06,400 --> 00:05:08,900
- I'm not saying it was you.
- I know, man.

58
00:05:09,800 --> 00:05:12,800
- I'm saying it was Ed.
- Right.

59
00:05:12,900 --> 00:05:14,900
I can't live like this.

60
00:05:15,000 --> 00:05:18,800
Look at the state of it.
We're not students any more.

61
00:05:18,900 --> 00:05:21,900
- Pete...
- He brings no money into the house.

62
00:05:22,100 --> 00:05:24,900
- He brings a bit.
- What? Dealing drugs?

63
00:05:25,100 --> 00:05:28,200
He sells a bit of weed now and again.
You've sold puff.

64
00:05:28,300 --> 00:05:31,100
Yeah, once. At college. To you.

65
00:05:31,200 --> 00:05:36,000
I've known him since primary school.
I like having him around, he's a laugh.

66
00:05:36,300 --> 00:05:38,900
Because he can
impersonate an orang-utan?

67
00:05:39,000 --> 00:05:41,600
- Fuck-a-doodle-doo.
- Leave him alone.

68
00:05:41,800 --> 00:05:44,700
I admit, he can be pretty funny on occasion.

69
00:05:44,800 --> 00:05:49,400
Like that time we stayed up all night drinking
apple schnapps and playing Tekken 2.

70
00:05:50,800 --> 00:05:53,400
- When was that?
- Five years ago.

71
00:05:53,600 --> 00:05:55,800
When's he going home?

72
00:05:57,500 --> 00:05:59,400
Hey, man, listen... Top left.

73
00:05:59,600 --> 00:06:02,100
- Uh-huh.
- I was gonna say... Reload.

74
00:06:02,200 --> 00:06:05,400
- I'm on it.
- Erm, since... Nice shot!

75
00:06:05,500 --> 00:06:07,500
Thanks.

76
00:06:07,700 --> 00:06:10,400
Two seconds.

77
00:06:10,700 --> 00:06:13,000
- All right, Noodle?
- 'Got anything? '

78
00:06:13,200 --> 00:06:15,500
- No, man.
- 'Eball says you was holding.'

79
00:06:15,600 --> 00:06:18,000
- I ain't got nothing.
- 'Nothing at all? '

80
00:06:18,100 --> 00:06:21,500
I've only got an 'enry meself.
All right, laters.

81
00:06:23,600 --> 00:06:25,600
- Listen...
- Ed...

82
00:06:25,700 --> 00:06:30,200
since you're not working at the moment
could you please clean up a bit?

83
00:06:30,400 --> 00:06:34,300
And if you play the answer machine,
can you take down everyone's messages?

84
00:06:34,400 --> 00:06:36,600
- Yep.
- It's not that taxing, is it?

85
00:06:36,800 --> 00:06:39,800
Writing something
on a scrap of paper?

86
00:06:40,000 --> 00:06:42,200
- Nope.
- Right.

87
00:06:42,400 --> 00:06:47,000
Dom, hi...

88
00:06:47,100 --> 00:06:49,300
Come on, it was pretty funny.

89
00:06:49,500 --> 00:06:53,000
- Will you do what he said?
- I ain't doing nothing for him.

90
00:06:53,300 --> 00:06:55,300
Do it for me, then.

91
00:06:56,700 --> 00:06:59,000
I'm sorry, Shaun.

92
00:06:59,200 --> 00:07:01,400
- It's all right.
- No, no.

93
00:07:01,500 --> 00:07:03,600
I'm sorry, Shaun.

94
00:07:06,600 --> 00:07:07,700
Oh!

95
00:07:07,900 --> 00:07:10,000
Oh, my God, that's rotten.

96
00:07:10,100 --> 00:07:13,600
- I'll stop doing 'em when you stop laughing.
- I am not laughing.

97
00:07:13,800 --> 00:07:15,600
- Get that.
- You get it.

98
00:07:18,200 --> 00:07:21,800
'Shaun, it's me.
I'm gonna be a bit tied up today

99
00:07:22,000 --> 00:07:25,100
'so can you book the table
for eight rather than seven?

100
00:07:25,200 --> 00:07:27,300
'I'll try you at work. Bye, bye.'

101
00:07:30,100 --> 00:07:32,600
Hey! You're dead.

102
00:07:41,400 --> 00:07:44,500
- Spare some change, please, mister?
- Yeah.

103
00:07:46,300 --> 00:07:49,200
Watch out. Are you blind?

104
00:08:00,400 --> 00:08:03,500
'The American
deep space probe Omega 6

105
00:08:03,800 --> 00:08:07,800
'unexpectedly re-entered
Earth's atmosphere over England

106
00:08:08,100 --> 00:08:10,100
'and broke apart over... '

107
00:08:26,300 --> 00:08:28,300
Nelson?

108
00:08:30,200 --> 00:08:31,400
Nelson?

109
00:08:34,300 --> 00:08:36,300
Hello, my friend. No beer today?

110
00:08:36,400 --> 00:08:38,600
No, it's a bit early for me.

111
00:08:50,000 --> 00:08:53,500
Gather round, everyone.
Gather round, please.

112
00:08:53,700 --> 00:08:56,100
Gather round.

113
00:08:56,300 --> 00:08:58,700
As well as Mr Sloman being off today

114
00:08:58,900 --> 00:09:01,700
I'm afraid Ash is feeling
a little bit under the weather,

115
00:09:01,900 --> 00:09:04,300
so I will be taking charge as the...

116
00:09:04,400 --> 00:09:07,300
- Oldest.
- Senior staff member.

117
00:09:07,500 --> 00:09:10,500
So if we can all pull together...

118
00:09:11,800 --> 00:09:14,100
- Hello? Hello, mate.
- Noel?

119
00:09:14,200 --> 00:09:16,800
I was totally munted last night.

120
00:09:17,000 --> 00:09:20,000
Yeah, I spoke to him. He's only got Henry.

121
00:09:21,900 --> 00:09:23,900
All right, mate. Laters.

122
00:09:32,500 --> 00:09:34,800
- Continue.
- Thank you.

123
00:09:35,000 --> 00:09:40,500
Erm, as Mr Sloman always says,
there's no I in team but there is an I in pie.

124
00:09:40,700 --> 00:09:43,000
In... There's an I in meat pie.

125
00:09:43,200 --> 00:09:46,700
The anagram of meat is team...
I don't know what he's talking about.

126
00:09:46,900 --> 00:09:49,200
Phones off. It's not a social gathering.

127
00:09:49,400 --> 00:09:54,000
- All right, keep your hair on, grandad.
- Hey! I'm 29 for Christ's sakes.

128
00:09:54,200 --> 00:09:56,600
- How old are you? 20? 21?
- 17.

129
00:09:56,800 --> 00:09:59,000
Hey, well...

130
00:09:59,100 --> 00:10:03,900
I know you don't wanna be here forever.
I got things I wanna do with my life.

131
00:10:04,100 --> 00:10:06,600
When?

132
00:10:06,700 --> 00:10:09,000
You got red on you.

133
00:10:11,300 --> 00:10:13,400
Hello, mate.

134
00:10:13,600 --> 00:10:16,600
This one comes with
a basic digital package.

135
00:10:16,700 --> 00:10:20,700
You've got your lifestyle channels there,
a bit of Trisha.

136
00:10:21,000 --> 00:10:24,700
Er, you've got entertainment.
I don't know what that is.

137
00:10:24,800 --> 00:10:28,300
News. All the basic, er... news...

138
00:10:28,600 --> 00:10:30,900
- channels.
- 'Bizarre events... '

139
00:10:31,100 --> 00:10:33,900
'Coming after me... '

140
00:10:34,000 --> 00:10:36,500
- Shaun.
- I'm with customers.

141
00:10:36,600 --> 00:10:38,400
It's your dad.

142
00:10:38,600 --> 00:10:40,800
He's not my dad,

143
00:10:40,900 --> 00:10:43,000
he's my stepdad.

144
00:10:46,200 --> 00:10:48,200
Philip.

145
00:10:50,100 --> 00:10:51,300
Shaun.

146
00:10:53,100 --> 00:10:55,600
You haven't forgotten about tomorrow?

147
00:10:55,700 --> 00:10:58,700
- No.
- Your bimonthly visit.

148
00:10:58,900 --> 00:11:00,800
No, I haven't forgotten.

149
00:11:01,000 --> 00:11:03,600
You could bring the flowers
you forgot on Mother's Day.

150
00:11:03,700 --> 00:11:05,700
I was gonna.

151
00:11:05,800 --> 00:11:08,300
And not a cheap posy
from a garage forecourt.

152
00:11:08,400 --> 00:11:10,800
I wasn't gonna.

153
00:11:12,700 --> 00:11:15,500
Well, we look forward to
seeing you tomorrow.

154
00:11:15,600 --> 00:11:17,200
OK.

155
00:11:17,400 --> 00:11:19,400
You've got red on you.

156
00:11:26,700 --> 00:11:30,000
- I thought it wasn't a social gathering?
- What?

157
00:11:30,200 --> 00:11:33,000
How comes you're allowed to
speak to your dad?

158
00:11:33,100 --> 00:11:36,200
A, he's not my dad, OK? He's my stepdad.

159
00:11:36,500 --> 00:11:39,200
And B, it was an emergency.

160
00:11:39,400 --> 00:11:42,800
What, like buying your mum some flowers?

161
00:11:43,000 --> 00:11:48,100
Noel, I do not find it difficult
to keep my work and my social life separate.

162
00:11:48,400 --> 00:11:50,900
Shaun, it's Liz for you.

163
00:11:53,700 --> 00:11:56,000
- Hello.
- 'Hello, it's me.'

164
00:11:56,200 --> 00:11:58,400
- Hello.
- 'Did you get my message? '

165
00:11:58,500 --> 00:12:01,000
- Yep.
- 'So it's all OK, then? '

166
00:12:01,200 --> 00:12:04,200
- Yep.
- 'Eight at the place with all the fish?

167
00:12:04,300 --> 00:12:06,900
'Cool, that's great. Just ring me later.'

168
00:12:07,100 --> 00:12:11,200
- Goodbye, Liz.
- 'Bye. Bye, bye, bye.'

169
00:12:11,400 --> 00:12:14,600
Liz from Head Office.
It's nothing to panic about.

170
00:12:18,800 --> 00:12:21,300
Sir? Sir?

171
00:12:21,700 --> 00:12:24,000
Sorry. Erm, they're for my mum.

172
00:12:24,100 --> 00:12:29,500
Mum. "To a wonderful Mum"
or "Supermum"?

173
00:12:29,800 --> 00:12:32,600
- Er... the first one.
- Right.

174
00:12:49,400 --> 00:12:53,600
'... London seems
to have gone completely bonkers... '

175
00:13:17,300 --> 00:13:20,100
- Oh, my God! Shaun!
- Yvonne.

176
00:13:20,200 --> 00:13:23,100
Oooh! How are you doing?

177
00:13:23,300 --> 00:13:25,600
- Surviving.
- Are you living round here?

178
00:13:25,700 --> 00:13:28,800
- Yeah, are you?
- Yeah, I just bought a place.

179
00:13:29,000 --> 00:13:32,000
- Bought?
- I know, bit grown-up, eh?

180
00:13:32,200 --> 00:13:34,500
- Are you still with...?
- Liz.

181
00:13:34,600 --> 00:13:38,900
That's great. Glad somebody made it.
How long's that been now?

182
00:13:39,100 --> 00:13:43,400
- Er, it's three years ago last week.
- Did you do anything special?

183
00:13:43,600 --> 00:13:46,500
- We're going out for a meal tonight.
- Anywhere nice?

184
00:13:48,600 --> 00:13:50,600
Yeah...

185
00:13:54,200 --> 00:13:56,700
Come on!

186
00:13:59,900 --> 00:14:02,400
- Are you gonna thank me, then?
- For what?

187
00:14:02,500 --> 00:14:04,400
Tidying up.

188
00:14:04,600 --> 00:14:07,600
- It doesn't look tidy.
- I had a few beers when I finished.

189
00:14:07,900 --> 00:14:10,300
'Hello, Fulci's. Can you hold, please? '

190
00:14:10,500 --> 00:14:12,800
- Do you want your messages?
- What?

191
00:14:13,000 --> 00:14:15,200
Your mum rang about tomorrow night.

192
00:14:15,300 --> 00:14:18,200
Liz rang about the two of you
eating out tonight.

193
00:14:18,300 --> 00:14:22,100
Then your mum rang back to see
if I wanted to eat her out tonight.

194
00:14:22,400 --> 00:14:25,600
- 'Hello, Fulci's.'
- Hi, I know it's short notice

195
00:14:25,700 --> 00:14:30,000
but could you possibly do me
a table for two for tonight at about eight?

196
00:14:30,300 --> 00:14:33,100
'Sorry, we just gave away the last table.'

197
00:14:37,500 --> 00:14:39,400
Wasn't true about your mum.

198
00:14:39,600 --> 00:14:41,100
Where are we gonna go?

199
00:14:41,200 --> 00:14:44,100
- The Winchester.
- Don't be stupid! They don't do food.

200
00:14:44,300 --> 00:14:47,500
- There's a Breville out back.
- Ed, this is serious!

201
00:14:47,700 --> 00:14:49,600
Hello.

202
00:14:49,700 --> 00:14:51,700
- 'Hello, it's me.'
- Hello.

203
00:14:51,800 --> 00:14:53,700
'What's the plan, then? '

204
00:14:53,800 --> 00:14:58,100
Erm, there's been a bit of a...
a mix-up with the table, babe.

205
00:14:58,300 --> 00:15:01,700
- 'What do you mean? '
- They're full up.

206
00:15:01,900 --> 00:15:04,600
'But... I thought you said it was all OK? '

207
00:15:04,700 --> 00:15:06,500
Yeah.

208
00:15:06,600 --> 00:15:09,200
'You didn't book it, did you, Shaun? '

209
00:15:09,300 --> 00:15:12,400
- No.
- 'So... what is the plan, then? '

210
00:15:17,200 --> 00:15:19,800
The Winchester?

211
00:15:24,100 --> 00:15:26,600
- 'Hello? '
- Dianne, can you let me in?

212
00:15:26,700 --> 00:15:29,600
- 'I'm not sure, Shaun.'
- Oh, come on.

213
00:15:29,700 --> 00:15:32,300
'Lizzie doesn't want to see you.'

214
00:15:32,400 --> 00:15:36,200
- Just open the door!
- 'She doesn't want to see you.'

215
00:15:36,400 --> 00:15:41,300
Do you want me to climb up the wall,
come through the window? Because I will.

216
00:15:41,600 --> 00:15:43,500
'You're not coming in.'

217
00:15:43,600 --> 00:15:46,000
- OK, see you in a minute.
- 'Don't... '

218
00:15:57,900 --> 00:15:59,700
'Hi, it's me again.'

219
00:15:59,800 --> 00:16:02,300
Can we just talk about this? Let's go out.

220
00:16:02,500 --> 00:16:05,000
- To the Winchester?
- Do you want to?

221
00:16:05,300 --> 00:16:08,000
- No, I don't fucking want to!
- OK.

222
00:16:08,100 --> 00:16:10,300
It's not the only place in the world.

223
00:16:10,400 --> 00:16:13,400
We'll go to the Shepherd's,
they do Thai in there.

224
00:16:13,600 --> 00:16:16,400
- I'm going out with David and Di.
- Let's go together.

225
00:16:16,500 --> 00:16:19,900
You hang out with my friends?
"A failed actress and a twat"?

226
00:16:20,200 --> 00:16:23,700
That's harsh.
I did not call Dianne a failed actress.

227
00:16:24,600 --> 00:16:28,400
Let's just go somewhere and have a laugh.
Things'll be fine, I promise.

228
00:16:28,500 --> 00:16:30,500
You promised you'd stop smoking.

229
00:16:30,600 --> 00:16:33,800
You promised you'd try drinking
red wine instead of beer!

230
00:16:33,900 --> 00:16:37,300
- You promised we'd go on holiday.
- We went to Greece!

231
00:16:37,500 --> 00:16:39,800
- We met in Greece.
- At a rave.

232
00:16:40,000 --> 00:16:42,900
It's not the same.
You promised things would change.

233
00:16:43,000 --> 00:16:46,300
- You promised us free cable.
- I'm working on that.

234
00:16:46,600 --> 00:16:50,900
I can give up smoking whenever I want.
See, don't need them.

235
00:16:51,000 --> 00:16:52,900
W- What was the next one?

236
00:16:53,000 --> 00:16:55,400
It's not enough, Shaun.

237
00:16:55,600 --> 00:17:00,200
'We appear to have
a breakdown in communication there.

238
00:17:00,400 --> 00:17:03,000
'Lf you or someone you know may... '

239
00:17:03,100 --> 00:17:05,600
I'd say your nine lives were up, Shaun.

240
00:17:05,800 --> 00:17:07,600
Get fucked, four-eyes!

241
00:17:07,700 --> 00:17:10,200
You go out with her, you love her so much.

242
00:17:10,400 --> 00:17:12,400
What do you mean by that?

243
00:17:13,600 --> 00:17:18,000
'... the devastation really is extensive.
It's a total mess.'

244
00:17:18,100 --> 00:17:20,400
I don't know what he meant by that.

245
00:17:24,100 --> 00:17:26,300
Got you these.

246
00:17:32,300 --> 00:17:35,500
- "To a wonderful mum"?
- Oooh!

247
00:17:35,700 --> 00:17:38,200
Yeah, that's because...

248
00:17:38,400 --> 00:17:42,600
I thought it would be funny
because of what you said last night

249
00:17:42,800 --> 00:17:45,600
about you don't want to be
my mum and that.

250
00:17:45,700 --> 00:17:49,500
It's just a little joke,
just sort of spur of the moment.

251
00:17:50,800 --> 00:17:53,700
- They're for your mum, aren't they?
- Yeah.

252
00:17:53,800 --> 00:17:55,500
Smooth.

253
00:18:03,500 --> 00:18:06,500
If I don't do something, I'll end up in that pub

254
00:18:06,600 --> 00:18:09,900
for the rest of my life
like those other sad old fuckers

255
00:18:10,100 --> 00:18:13,100
wondering what the hell happened.

256
00:18:13,200 --> 00:18:15,400
What do you mean do something?

257
00:18:48,900 --> 00:18:52,100
Fuck her. You got your pint.

258
00:18:52,200 --> 00:18:55,200
You got your pig snacks.
What more do you want?

259
00:18:57,200 --> 00:18:59,600
Oh. You want your favourite monkey?

260
00:19:01,300 --> 00:19:03,100
Shall I do Clyde?

261
00:19:15,900 --> 00:19:18,000
See, I knew you'd get over her.

262
00:19:26,200 --> 00:19:28,300
# If you leave me now... #

263
00:19:28,400 --> 00:19:30,700
Who the hell put this on?

264
00:19:30,900 --> 00:19:33,300
It's on random.

265
00:19:33,500 --> 00:19:36,200
For fuck's sake. John, yes please, mate.

266
00:19:40,600 --> 00:19:44,200
You know what we should do tomorrow?
Keep drinking.

267
00:19:44,300 --> 00:19:46,300
A Bloody Mary first thing,

268
00:19:46,400 --> 00:19:49,700
a bite at the King's Head,
couple at The Little Princess,

269
00:19:49,800 --> 00:19:53,000
stagger back here and bang...
back at the bar for shots.

270
00:19:53,300 --> 00:19:55,300
How's that for a slice of fried gold?

271
00:19:55,500 --> 00:19:57,600
- No.
- Come on, man.

272
00:20:00,200 --> 00:20:02,000
Talk to me.

273
00:20:02,200 --> 00:20:06,500
She said if she stayed with me
she'd end up in here for the rest of her life

274
00:20:06,600 --> 00:20:10,100
like these sad old fuckers
wondering what the hell happened.

275
00:20:10,400 --> 00:20:12,200
That is harsh.

276
00:20:12,300 --> 00:20:15,800
- These are rich, interesting characters.
- Like who?

277
00:20:19,300 --> 00:20:23,100
Snakehips. Always surrounded by women.

278
00:20:23,200 --> 00:20:25,000
He's a bigamist.

279
00:20:25,200 --> 00:20:28,100
Strangled his first wife
with a draught excluder.

280
00:20:28,300 --> 00:20:30,500
And invented the mobile disco.

281
00:20:31,600 --> 00:20:33,700
What about her, then?

282
00:20:33,800 --> 00:20:36,200
Ooh! Cockacidal maniac.

283
00:20:38,300 --> 00:20:40,300
She's an ex-porn star.

284
00:20:40,400 --> 00:20:44,400
They say she starred in
the world's first interracial hardcore loop.

285
00:20:44,700 --> 00:20:47,500
Cafe Au Lait...

286
00:20:47,600 --> 00:20:50,100
Pour Vous.

287
00:20:51,300 --> 00:20:53,600
Yeah. What about John, then?

288
00:20:53,700 --> 00:20:56,700
He's North London Mafia.

289
00:20:56,800 --> 00:20:58,800
It's true, Big Al says so.

290
00:20:59,000 --> 00:21:01,800
Yeah, Big Al also says dogs can't look up.

291
00:21:01,900 --> 00:21:05,900
Think about it. Handy with a blade.
Gruff demeanour.

292
00:21:06,200 --> 00:21:08,300
Bernie, the trophy wife.

293
00:21:08,500 --> 00:21:11,200
He's connected.
Why is there a rifle above the bar?

294
00:21:11,300 --> 00:21:14,700
- The pub's called the Winchester.
- Exactly.

295
00:21:14,900 --> 00:21:17,700
See, you don't need Liz to have a good time.

296
00:21:17,900 --> 00:21:19,700
- Don't, man.
- No.

297
00:21:19,900 --> 00:21:22,000
Oi, look at me.

298
00:21:22,100 --> 00:21:26,700
Can I just say one thing? I'm not gonna
say there's plenty more fish in the sea,

299
00:21:26,900 --> 00:21:29,300
I'm not gonna say if you love her let her go

300
00:21:29,400 --> 00:21:34,600
and I'm not gonna bombard you with clichés
but what I will say is this...

301
00:21:34,800 --> 00:21:36,600
it's not the end of the world.

302
00:21:42,700 --> 00:21:44,800
Sorry, we're closed.

303
00:21:47,800 --> 00:21:49,200
Pisshead.

304
00:21:54,700 --> 00:21:56,500
# Ooh, white lines

305
00:21:56,600 --> 00:21:58,500
# Visions, dreams of passion

306
00:21:58,600 --> 00:22:00,700
# Going through my mind

307
00:22:00,900 --> 00:22:03,400
# And all the while I think of you...

308
00:22:03,500 --> 00:22:05,200
Oh?

309
00:22:05,300 --> 00:22:08,600
What's the matter, love,
haven't you had your tea?

310
00:22:09,900 --> 00:22:13,500
# Something of a phenomenon
telling my body to come along

311
00:22:13,600 --> 00:22:16,200
# Cos white lines

312
00:22:16,400 --> 00:22:19,000
# Blow away...
- Shh!

313
00:22:20,300 --> 00:22:22,100
Blow!

314
00:22:22,200 --> 00:22:24,200
# Ah, get higher, baby

315
00:22:24,300 --> 00:22:27,900
# Ah, get higher, baby, ah, get higher, girl

316
00:22:28,000 --> 00:22:30,300
# Ah... #

317
00:22:38,600 --> 00:22:40,700
What? He should say base.

318
00:22:40,800 --> 00:22:42,700
Or freeze.

319
00:22:42,900 --> 00:22:44,500
What a tit.

320
00:22:53,800 --> 00:22:55,800
# You wanna dance? #

321
00:23:03,800 --> 00:23:05,800
Don't scratch it! Wait...

322
00:23:07,000 --> 00:23:11,700
- That was the second album I ever bought!
- It's four in the fucking morning!

323
00:23:12,000 --> 00:23:14,000
- It's Saturday!
- No, it's not.

324
00:23:14,100 --> 00:23:17,300
It's fucking Sunday
and I've got to go to fucking work

325
00:23:17,500 --> 00:23:21,300
in four fucking hours
because every other fucker is fucking ill!

326
00:23:21,600 --> 00:23:24,100
Now can you see why I'm so fucking angry?

327
00:23:24,200 --> 00:23:26,100
- Fuck, yeah!
- Hey! Pete, look,

328
00:23:26,200 --> 00:23:31,600
I'm sorry, we had a couple of drinks,
we split up with Liz tonight.

329
00:23:33,700 --> 00:23:35,900
Just keep it down, yeah?

330
00:23:37,000 --> 00:23:38,500
Prick.

331
00:23:38,600 --> 00:23:40,400
What was that?

332
00:23:40,500 --> 00:23:42,000
Nothing.

333
00:23:42,000 --> 00:23:46,100
- Stop it, we're friends!
- He's not my friend. He's a fucking idiot.

334
00:23:46,400 --> 00:23:49,900
- What's that supposed to mean?
- It means why don't you fuck off!

335
00:23:50,100 --> 00:23:53,700
You wanna live like an animal,
live in the shed, you thick fuck!

336
00:23:53,900 --> 00:23:56,500
- Leave him alone!
- Stop defending him.

337
00:23:56,600 --> 00:23:58,400
All he ever does is hold you back.

338
00:23:58,600 --> 00:24:02,400
Or is it easier having someone around
who's more of a loser than you?

339
00:24:02,700 --> 00:24:05,900
- What's that supposed to mean?
- You know what I mean.

340
00:24:06,000 --> 00:24:08,700
I assume it was Liz who did the dumping?

341
00:24:10,300 --> 00:24:13,200
Sort your fucking life out, mate.

342
00:24:13,400 --> 00:24:15,700
What's up with your hand, man?

343
00:24:17,000 --> 00:24:20,300
- I got mugged on the way home from work.
- By who?

344
00:24:20,400 --> 00:24:23,400
- Some crackheads. One of them bit me.
- Why?

345
00:24:23,500 --> 00:24:26,500
I don't know, I didn't stop to ask them!

346
00:24:26,800 --> 00:24:30,700
I've got a splitting headache
and your stupid hip hop isn't helping.

347
00:24:30,800 --> 00:24:33,600
And the front door is open. Again!

348
00:24:35,700 --> 00:24:39,300
It's not hip hop, it's electro. Prick.

349
00:24:39,500 --> 00:24:42,000
Next time I see him, he's dead.

350
00:24:53,600 --> 00:24:56,500
'Shaun, it's me.
I'm gonna be a bit tied up today

351
00:24:56,700 --> 00:25:00,100
'so can you book the table
for eight rather than seven?

352
00:25:00,200 --> 00:25:02,200
'I'll try you at work. Bye, bye.'

353
00:25:03,900 --> 00:25:06,400
'Hello, pickle. It's me, Mum.

354
00:25:06,600 --> 00:25:10,900
'Dad mentioned you might be visiting
tomorrow which would be lovely.

355
00:25:11,100 --> 00:25:14,300
'Will you be bringing
Elizabeth with you this time?

356
00:25:14,400 --> 00:25:16,900
'Only we can't wait to meet her finally

357
00:25:17,100 --> 00:25:21,400
'and also I was wondering
if she wanted anything special for lunch?

358
00:25:21,600 --> 00:25:25,400
'Cos these days a lot of people
don't eat meat.'

359
00:25:38,400 --> 00:25:40,900
Do you want anything from the shop?

360
00:25:42,400 --> 00:25:44,400
Cornetto.

361
00:26:52,200 --> 00:26:54,600
Nelson, have you got any papers?

362
00:26:56,600 --> 00:26:59,100
Nelson? I haven't even...

363
00:26:59,200 --> 00:27:01,300
I owe you about 15p.

364
00:27:33,700 --> 00:27:35,700
Oh dear.

365
00:27:38,500 --> 00:27:40,600
Sorry, I haven't got any change.

366
00:27:40,700 --> 00:27:44,600
I didn't even have enough
at the fucking shop. Oh dear.

367
00:27:54,500 --> 00:28:00,200
'... no official comment but religious groups
are calling it Judgement Day. There's... '

368
00:28:00,400 --> 00:28:03,200
#... panic on the streets of London... #

369
00:28:03,300 --> 00:28:06,900
- '... number of reports of... '
- '... serious attacks on... '

370
00:28:07,100 --> 00:28:09,900
- '... people who are being... '
- '... eaten alive.'

371
00:28:10,000 --> 00:28:14,200
'Witness reports are sketchy.
One unifying detail seems to be

372
00:28:14,500 --> 00:28:17,200
'that the attackers appear to be... '

373
00:28:17,300 --> 00:28:20,700
'... the sensational chart-topping... '

374
00:28:20,900 --> 00:28:25,700
'... or ideological connection between
those committing the atrocities... '

375
00:28:26,100 --> 00:28:28,300
There's a girl in the garden.

376
00:28:28,500 --> 00:28:32,200
- '... emergency services... '
- What?

377
00:28:32,300 --> 00:28:34,400
In the garden, there is a girl.

378
00:28:34,600 --> 00:28:39,000
'... the armed forces will be called in
to provide backup and assistance.

379
00:28:39,200 --> 00:28:43,900
'Scientists are still trying to establish
the nature of the phenomenon

380
00:28:44,200 --> 00:28:46,700
'and are unsure as to the... '

381
00:28:46,900 --> 00:28:49,300
Excuse me.

382
00:28:52,200 --> 00:28:54,200
Excuse me.

383
00:28:56,500 --> 00:28:58,000
Hello.

384
00:29:02,400 --> 00:29:04,700
- What are you doing?
- Oi!

385
00:29:23,400 --> 00:29:25,000
Oh, my God.

386
00:29:27,600 --> 00:29:29,600
She's so drunk.

387
00:29:33,100 --> 00:29:35,300
How much have you had, love?

388
00:29:35,500 --> 00:29:38,200
- Oh! I think she likes you.
- Shut up.

389
00:29:38,300 --> 00:29:41,700
- She wants a cuddle!
- I've just come out of a relationship.

390
00:29:42,000 --> 00:29:45,600
- Ed, do something!
- Wait there.

391
00:29:45,700 --> 00:29:47,800
- Ed!
- Two seconds.

392
00:29:47,900 --> 00:29:50,500
I'm really flattered and everything but...

393
00:29:52,600 --> 00:29:54,400
And, hold it there.

394
00:29:54,500 --> 00:29:56,500
Ed! Just get her off me.

395
00:29:56,700 --> 00:29:58,900
Jesus!

396
00:30:00,500 --> 00:30:04,700
- What's up with her eyes?
- Now, seriously...

397
00:30:04,900 --> 00:30:08,600
Mary, I'm warning you,
I'll have to get physical, I mean it!

398
00:30:08,900 --> 00:30:11,000
This is it... Look, just fuck off!

399
00:30:45,300 --> 00:30:47,900
- I think we should go back inside.
- OK.

400
00:30:56,700 --> 00:30:59,100
- Shaun, what's going on?
- Shit, it's engaged.

401
00:30:59,500 --> 00:31:02,500
- How about an ambulance?
- It's engaged, Ed.

402
00:31:03,700 --> 00:31:06,900
- Fire engine?
- It's one number and it's busy!

403
00:31:07,100 --> 00:31:11,800
- And what do you want a fire engine for?
- Anything with flashing lights.

404
00:31:12,000 --> 00:31:14,200
Are they still out there?

405
00:31:21,000 --> 00:31:24,200
Yeah. What do you think we should do?

406
00:31:24,400 --> 00:31:26,100
Have a sit-down?

407
00:31:26,200 --> 00:31:28,900
'There are reports of chaos
on the motorways

408
00:31:29,000 --> 00:31:32,100
'as thousands of people
attempt to flee the cities.

409
00:31:32,400 --> 00:31:36,000
'The M1, the M3, M4, M6... '

410
00:31:36,200 --> 00:31:40,600
- Do you think this is the same thing?
- '... are all at a standstill.

411
00:31:40,900 --> 00:31:46,900
'The Home Office is urging people to stay
in their homes and await further instruction.'

412
00:31:47,200 --> 00:31:50,000
'Ensure all residences are secure

413
00:31:50,200 --> 00:31:55,000
'with all doors and windows
firmly locked and barricaded. Police... '

414
00:31:59,100 --> 00:32:02,200
- For God's sake! He's got an arm off!
- Get him!

415
00:32:16,400 --> 00:32:22,500
'More reports just in confirm that in all cases
the attackers seem slow and shambolic... '

416
00:32:22,700 --> 00:32:24,900
I'm gonna shut the front door.

417
00:32:25,100 --> 00:32:29,100
'... regarding the best way
to neutralise the attackers.

418
00:32:29,300 --> 00:32:34,400
'Ln the meantime, contact with
these assailants is highly inadvisable.'

419
00:32:34,600 --> 00:32:38,300
- Did you see his head go?
- 'Lf you're confronted... '

420
00:32:41,500 --> 00:32:44,600
- We should get out there.
- No, we should stay inside.

421
00:32:44,700 --> 00:32:47,600
- We can take 'em.
- The man said to stay indoors.

422
00:32:47,900 --> 00:32:50,400
- Fuck the man.
- In here, we're safe.

423
00:32:54,000 --> 00:32:58,700
'... the attackers can be stopped by removing
the head or destroying the brain.

424
00:32:59,000 --> 00:33:04,100
'I'll repeat that, by removing the head
or destroying the brain.'

425
00:33:11,800 --> 00:33:13,300
Hey!

426
00:33:15,300 --> 00:33:17,000
Aim for the head.

427
00:33:36,100 --> 00:33:37,800
- Now what?
- Get more stuff.

428
00:33:38,000 --> 00:33:40,200
- What's in the shed?
- Dunno, it's locked.

429
00:33:40,400 --> 00:33:42,800
- Why is it locked?
- It's always been locked.

430
00:33:44,700 --> 00:33:47,000
No! That's the second album I ever bought!

431
00:33:54,700 --> 00:33:58,000
Some of these are limited...
Ah! What was that?

432
00:33:58,100 --> 00:34:00,600
- Blue Monday.
- That was an original pressing.

433
00:34:00,700 --> 00:34:02,800
For fuck's sake.

434
00:34:03,000 --> 00:34:04,800
- Erm... Purple Rain?
- No.

435
00:34:05,000 --> 00:34:06,700
- Sign O' The Times?
- Definitely not.

436
00:34:06,800 --> 00:34:08,900
- The Batman soundtrack?
- Throw it.

437
00:34:11,600 --> 00:34:13,400
- Dire Straits?
- Throw it.

438
00:34:17,400 --> 00:34:19,600
- Er... Ooh, Stone Roses?
- No.

439
00:34:19,800 --> 00:34:22,000
- Second Coming?
- I like it.

440
00:34:22,200 --> 00:34:24,100
Ah! Sade?

441
00:34:24,300 --> 00:34:26,400
- That's Liz's.
- She dumped you.

442
00:34:28,500 --> 00:34:31,100
- I'm going to the shed.
- You said it was locked.

443
00:34:42,100 --> 00:34:46,000
- Which one do you want? Girl or bloke?
- Er... the first one.

444
00:35:05,000 --> 00:35:09,400
'People receiving bites
have experienced headaches and nausea

445
00:35:09,500 --> 00:35:11,400
'and developed symptoms... '

446
00:35:11,600 --> 00:35:13,400
You've got red on you.

447
00:35:13,500 --> 00:35:15,800
'Lf you know someone who has been bitten

448
00:35:15,900 --> 00:35:19,800
'it is absolutely essential
that you isolate them immediately.

449
00:35:20,000 --> 00:35:24,400
'The public are being strongly advised
not to approach anyone... '

450
00:35:24,800 --> 00:35:26,500
Pete?

451
00:35:29,900 --> 00:35:31,400
Pete?

452
00:35:31,400 --> 00:35:33,500
- Why don't we just go up?
- Don't go up there!

453
00:35:33,700 --> 00:35:36,600
- Why not?
- Because A, he might be one of them

454
00:35:36,800 --> 00:35:39,300
and B, he might still be annoyed.

455
00:35:39,500 --> 00:35:41,400
Pete?

456
00:35:41,500 --> 00:35:43,500
Maybe he went into work.

457
00:35:43,500 --> 00:35:46,700
How come he didn't drive?
His keys are still here.

458
00:35:46,900 --> 00:35:51,400
Maybe he got a lift.
He said he wasn't feeling well. Pete?

459
00:35:51,600 --> 00:35:54,200
Oi, prick!

460
00:35:54,300 --> 00:35:56,500
He's not in.

461
00:35:56,700 --> 00:35:59,500
- You got a fag?
- No, I've given up.

462
00:35:59,600 --> 00:36:02,000
- Since when?
- Since...

463
00:36:04,800 --> 00:36:07,500
Come on, babe. Oh, she's engaged.

464
00:36:07,700 --> 00:36:10,100
- That was quick.
- Ed, this is serious.

465
00:36:10,300 --> 00:36:11,600
Liz!

466
00:36:11,800 --> 00:36:15,100
- 'Shaun.'
- Mum! I was gonna call you. Are you OK?

467
00:36:15,200 --> 00:36:17,200
- 'Yes.'
- Are you sure?

468
00:36:17,300 --> 00:36:19,900
'Some men tried to get into the house.'

469
00:36:20,000 --> 00:36:23,800
- Are they still there?
- 'I'm not sure. We shut the curtains.'

470
00:36:24,100 --> 00:36:27,600
- Did you try the police?
- 'Well, I thought about it.'

471
00:36:27,800 --> 00:36:31,100
- Are you OK? Did they hurt you?
- 'No, I'm fine.'

472
00:36:31,400 --> 00:36:35,400
- Mum?
- 'Well... they were a bit bitey.'

473
00:36:37,600 --> 00:36:41,200
- Mum, have you been bitten?
- 'No, but Philip has.'

474
00:36:41,500 --> 00:36:43,400
- Oh, OK.
- Has she been bitten?

475
00:36:43,500 --> 00:36:45,200
- No, Philip has.
- Oh, OK.

476
00:36:45,400 --> 00:36:49,700
- Mum, what state is he in?
- 'He's fine. Bit under the weather.'

477
00:36:49,800 --> 00:36:51,600
- I see.
- What's the deal?

478
00:36:51,800 --> 00:36:56,000
We may have to kill my stepdad.
Mum, you're not safe there. I'm coming.

479
00:36:56,200 --> 00:36:59,500
- 'I don't want to cause a fuss.'
- We're coming to get you, Barbara!

480
00:37:00,400 --> 00:37:02,900
So, what's the plan?

481
00:37:05,600 --> 00:37:06,800
Right.

482
00:37:07,800 --> 00:37:10,500
'We take Pete's car, we drive over to Mum's,

483
00:37:10,700 --> 00:37:13,900
'we go in, we take care of Philip.'

484
00:37:14,100 --> 00:37:16,300
I'm so sorry, Philip.

485
00:37:16,400 --> 00:37:18,900
'Then we grab Mum, go over to Liz's place,

486
00:37:19,000 --> 00:37:21,100
'hole up, have a cup of tea

487
00:37:21,300 --> 00:37:24,000
'and wait for all this to blow over.'

488
00:37:24,300 --> 00:37:27,100
- Why have we got to go to Liz's?
- Because we do.

489
00:37:27,200 --> 00:37:29,900
- She dumped you.
- I have to know if she's all right.

490
00:37:30,100 --> 00:37:32,500
- Why?
- Because I love her.

491
00:37:33,800 --> 00:37:35,800
All right, gay.

492
00:37:35,900 --> 00:37:38,300
- I'm not staying there, though.
- Why not?

493
00:37:38,400 --> 00:37:41,200
If we hole up,
I want to be somewhere familiar,

494
00:37:41,500 --> 00:37:45,400
I wanna know where the exits are
and I wanna be allowed to smoke.

495
00:37:45,500 --> 00:37:47,700
OK...

496
00:37:47,800 --> 00:37:49,800
'Take Pete's car, go round Mum's,

497
00:37:49,900 --> 00:37:52,400
'go in, deal with Philip.'

498
00:37:52,500 --> 00:37:53,800
Sorry, Philip.

499
00:37:53,900 --> 00:37:57,300
'Grab mum, go to Liz's,
pick her up, bring her back here,

500
00:37:57,400 --> 00:38:00,800
'have a cup of tea
and wait for all this to blow over.'

501
00:38:01,000 --> 00:38:02,300
Perfik.

502
00:38:02,400 --> 00:38:05,300
No, wait, we can't bring them back here.

503
00:38:05,400 --> 00:38:08,100
- Why not?
- It's not exactly safe, is it?

504
00:38:08,300 --> 00:38:10,200
Yeah. Look at the state of it.

505
00:38:10,300 --> 00:38:13,900
Where's safe? Where's familiar?

506
00:38:14,100 --> 00:38:15,700
Where can I smoke?

507
00:38:21,200 --> 00:38:23,800
'Take car, go to Mum's, kill Phil.'

508
00:38:23,900 --> 00:38:27,200
- Sorry.
- 'Grab Liz, go to the Winchester,

509
00:38:27,400 --> 00:38:31,000
'have a nice cold pint
and wait for all this to blow over.'

510
00:38:32,200 --> 00:38:34,900
How's that for a slice of fried gold?

511
00:38:35,000 --> 00:38:36,700
Yeah, boy!

512
00:38:36,800 --> 00:38:40,000
'To recap, it is vital
that you stay in your homes.

513
00:38:40,200 --> 00:38:42,500
'Make no attempt to reach loved ones

514
00:38:42,700 --> 00:38:46,300
'and avoid all physical contact
with the assailants.'

515
00:38:46,400 --> 00:38:49,200
Do you believe everything you hear on TV?

516
00:38:50,300 --> 00:38:53,200
Yeah, I can see it, it's just outside.

517
00:38:53,300 --> 00:38:55,300
Any zombies out there?

518
00:38:56,300 --> 00:38:58,100
- Don't say that.
- What?

519
00:38:58,200 --> 00:39:00,100
- That.
- What?

520
00:39:00,300 --> 00:39:02,600
That. The Z word. Don't say it.

521
00:39:02,700 --> 00:39:05,200
- Why not?
- Because it's ridiculous.

522
00:39:05,400 --> 00:39:08,800
All right. Are there any out there, though?

523
00:39:10,800 --> 00:39:14,200
Can't see any.
Maybe it's not as bad as all that.

524
00:39:14,400 --> 00:39:16,400
Oh! No, there they are.

525
00:39:18,700 --> 00:39:20,900
- OK, let's do this, yeah?
- Yeah?

526
00:39:21,100 --> 00:39:23,200
Yeah! I got to do a wee first.

527
00:39:23,300 --> 00:39:25,300
Ooh... can I drive?

528
00:39:25,400 --> 00:39:26,900
What?

529
00:39:27,100 --> 00:39:30,800
I always wanted to drive Pete's car.
I might not get another chance.

530
00:39:31,000 --> 00:39:32,500
OK.

531
00:40:04,600 --> 00:40:06,300
Ahh! Oh, God.

532
00:40:06,400 --> 00:40:10,600
Sorry, Pete. Listen, we're gonna
borrow your car, OK?

533
00:40:10,900 --> 00:40:12,900
Erm, we'll bring it back.

534
00:40:13,000 --> 00:40:18,000
And if you're feeling better later,
we're... we're going to the pub.

535
00:40:18,200 --> 00:40:21,600
You're more than welcome to, er...

536
00:40:21,700 --> 00:40:23,100
join us.

537
00:40:31,000 --> 00:40:34,000
Pete'd be so pissed off
if he knew I was driving his car.

538
00:40:34,100 --> 00:40:35,500
I don't think so.

539
00:40:38,300 --> 00:40:40,800
Shaun, which button's central locking?

540
00:40:45,800 --> 00:40:47,600
Oh, cock it!

541
00:40:48,800 --> 00:40:50,900
Get lost!

542
00:41:04,900 --> 00:41:06,800
Drive.

543
00:41:08,700 --> 00:41:13,000
'The Church of England
has joined other extremist religious groups

544
00:41:13,200 --> 00:41:16,400
'in proclaiming this
"a sign of a coming apocalypse".

545
00:41:16,600 --> 00:41:20,600
'Downing Street is refusing
to be drawn into a religious debate.

546
00:41:20,800 --> 00:41:26,200
'The bodies of the recently deceased
are returning to life and attacking the living.'

547
00:41:26,600 --> 00:41:29,300
Let's put something else on.

548
00:41:29,500 --> 00:41:31,800
What are you doing? Ed, look out!

549
00:41:36,500 --> 00:41:38,500
I think we hit something.

550
00:41:41,200 --> 00:41:43,000
Or someone.

551
00:41:43,000 --> 00:41:44,500
Ow!

552
00:41:52,500 --> 00:41:55,100
Are you all right?

553
00:41:55,300 --> 00:41:57,300
Come on, let's just go.

554
00:41:58,400 --> 00:41:59,600
Hello?

555
00:41:59,700 --> 00:42:02,600
- He's gonna be dead either way.
- That's not the point.

556
00:42:08,900 --> 00:42:10,900
Oh, thank God for that.

557
00:42:14,500 --> 00:42:17,000
Ah, hello.

558
00:42:18,200 --> 00:42:20,000
Who's a pretty boy then?

559
00:42:23,800 --> 00:42:27,300
You didn't say Barbara had a Jag.
I've always wanted to drive a Jag.

560
00:42:27,600 --> 00:42:29,900
It's Philip's. He won't let anybody near it.

561
00:42:30,000 --> 00:42:33,000
I put a Mars Bar in it once
and he chased me with a bit of wood.

562
00:42:33,200 --> 00:42:37,100
- Fuck, it's gorgeous.
- It seems pretty clear, we should go.

563
00:42:37,300 --> 00:42:40,100
Why don't I stay here?

564
00:42:40,200 --> 00:42:42,200
What, what, what, what, what?

565
00:42:42,400 --> 00:42:46,200
You know, just look after the car.
If there's any problems...

566
00:42:46,300 --> 00:42:48,300
I'll honk three times.

567
00:42:48,500 --> 00:42:49,600
OK.

568
00:42:54,100 --> 00:42:56,400
Don't forget to kill Philip!

569
00:42:57,800 --> 00:42:59,900
- Hello, pickle.
- Hi, Mum.

570
00:43:00,700 --> 00:43:02,500
You've got red on you.

571
00:43:02,600 --> 00:43:05,700
Yeah. Mum, is everything OK?
Are you all right?

572
00:43:05,900 --> 00:43:08,200
- Yes, I'm fine.
- Where's Philip?

573
00:43:08,300 --> 00:43:10,600
- Dad's in the lounge.
- He's not my dad.

574
00:43:10,800 --> 00:43:12,100
Really!

575
00:43:12,200 --> 00:43:14,600
Ed's outside,
we'll take you somewhere safe.

576
00:43:14,800 --> 00:43:17,700
- What about the doctor?
- I don't think he's gonna come.

577
00:43:17,900 --> 00:43:21,700
- Philip won't want to leave the house.
- Philip isn't...

578
00:43:22,000 --> 00:43:24,800
Put the kettle on and I'll deal with Philip.

579
00:43:24,900 --> 00:43:26,700
- OK.
- OK, then.

580
00:43:26,900 --> 00:43:28,500
- You hungry?
- Not really.

581
00:43:28,700 --> 00:43:31,000
- I'll make some sandwiches.
- OK.

582
00:43:32,000 --> 00:43:34,000
No fighting, you two.

583
00:43:35,200 --> 00:43:38,000
'... you may ask where is our God?

584
00:43:39,300 --> 00:43:43,000
'But throughout the land,
men and women of integrity

585
00:43:43,200 --> 00:43:45,800
'rise up to confront the unseen enemy.

586
00:43:47,700 --> 00:43:49,900
'They will not be cowards,

587
00:43:50,000 --> 00:43:53,600
'they will be courageous
in the face of danger.'

588
00:44:00,000 --> 00:44:02,300
- I'm so sorry, Philip.
- Why?

589
00:44:02,400 --> 00:44:04,800
- What have you done now?
- Nothing.

590
00:44:04,900 --> 00:44:07,200
What have you got there? Flowers, I hope.

591
00:44:07,400 --> 00:44:10,100
No, it's... cricket bat.

592
00:44:10,400 --> 00:44:13,100
- Is that for the jumble, Shaun?
- No. Yes.

593
00:44:13,300 --> 00:44:16,600
Your toys are upstairs.
I was going to give them to the jumble.

594
00:44:16,800 --> 00:44:19,800
- I took them all to the tip, Barbara.
- What?

595
00:44:20,000 --> 00:44:23,000
- Shaun wants to take us somewhere.
- Don't be silly.

596
00:44:23,200 --> 00:44:25,800
Maybe you should stay here
and wait for the doctor.

597
00:44:25,900 --> 00:44:29,200
- You said he wasn't coming.
- You didn't call the doctor?

598
00:44:29,300 --> 00:44:34,100
- Just to be on the safe side.
- I'm fine. I ran it under a cold tap.

599
00:44:34,400 --> 00:44:37,400
We had ourjabs when
we went to the Isle of Wight.

600
00:44:37,700 --> 00:44:40,400
- But, Philip...
- It's overblown nonsense.

601
00:44:40,500 --> 00:44:44,500
- A lot of drug nuts running wild.
- But I should get Mum away.

602
00:44:44,800 --> 00:44:47,800
- I'm not going anywhere without Philip.
- Mum, look!

603
00:44:48,000 --> 00:44:50,800
How about that tea?

604
00:44:51,000 --> 00:44:54,700
Mum, how much do you love Philip?

605
00:44:55,000 --> 00:44:58,600
- Two sugars, is it?
- I haven't had sugar in my tea since 1982.

606
00:44:58,800 --> 00:45:01,100
Oh, yes. Will you cut me some bread, love?

607
00:45:01,300 --> 00:45:04,500
Mum, look, how much do you love Philip?

608
00:45:04,700 --> 00:45:07,200
Do we have to go through all that again?

609
00:45:07,300 --> 00:45:11,300
What would you say if I told you
that Philip's been quite unkind to me?

610
00:45:11,600 --> 00:45:13,500
You weren't easy to live with.

611
00:45:13,500 --> 00:45:17,000
- He chased me with a bit of wood!
- You did call him a you-know-what.

612
00:45:17,300 --> 00:45:20,100
- Did he tell you that? Motherfucker.
- Shaun!

613
00:45:20,300 --> 00:45:22,200
Sorry, Mother... Mum!

614
00:45:22,300 --> 00:45:26,800
Did you know that on several occasions...
he touched me?

615
00:45:32,600 --> 00:45:35,800
That wasn't true.
Made it up, shouldn't have, sorry.

616
00:45:36,000 --> 00:45:39,200
- You don't understand...
- No, you don't understand.

617
00:45:39,300 --> 00:45:42,200
Philip is my husband
and has been for 17 years

618
00:45:42,300 --> 00:45:45,800
and I would at least expect you
to respect my feelings.

619
00:45:46,000 --> 00:45:48,700
You must be more adult about these things.

620
00:45:48,800 --> 00:45:50,700
Yeah.

621
00:45:50,800 --> 00:45:54,800
Come on, Shaun.
There comes a time when...

622
00:45:56,100 --> 00:45:58,400
you just...

623
00:45:58,500 --> 00:46:00,500
gotta be a man.

624
00:46:07,900 --> 00:46:10,400
I'm telling you, it's a fuss over nothing.

625
00:46:10,500 --> 00:46:12,400
Hello, Edward.

626
00:46:12,400 --> 00:46:14,900
- Hi, Barbara.
- My, how you've grown.

627
00:46:15,100 --> 00:46:18,400
You better believe it.
What happened? Why is he coming?

628
00:46:18,600 --> 00:46:22,100
- It wasn't as easy as all that.
- Are we following you?

629
00:46:22,300 --> 00:46:25,800
No, it's probably best if we...
Where's the car?

630
00:46:26,000 --> 00:46:28,900
Hmm... I pranged it.

631
00:46:29,000 --> 00:46:30,600
You were parked.

632
00:46:30,800 --> 00:46:32,500
Yeah.

633
00:46:32,700 --> 00:46:35,100
I guess we'll have to take the Jag.

634
00:46:36,700 --> 00:46:38,900
- Philip?
- What?

635
00:46:39,100 --> 00:46:41,100
Look out!

636
00:46:42,900 --> 00:46:44,700
Christ!

637
00:46:53,100 --> 00:46:55,800
- Give me the car keys!
- You're not driving that car.

638
00:46:55,900 --> 00:46:59,000
Give me the car keys!
Ed, get Mum in the car.

639
00:46:59,200 --> 00:47:01,400
I'm on it.

640
00:47:01,500 --> 00:47:04,400
Don't worry about me.
Worry about your mother.

641
00:47:05,600 --> 00:47:08,700
- Maybe I should drive.
- I've adjusted the seat now.

642
00:47:08,900 --> 00:47:10,700
Just be careful!

643
00:47:21,600 --> 00:47:24,200
Can you please turn that noise down?

644
00:47:25,900 --> 00:47:29,200
Are you all right, dear?
Would you like another tissue?

645
00:47:29,300 --> 00:47:32,600
I'd be fine if it weren't for that bloody racket.

646
00:47:32,800 --> 00:47:34,900
- It is a bit loud.
- Sorry, Barbara.

647
00:47:37,700 --> 00:47:40,100
You do realise this is
a 20 mile an hour zone?

648
00:47:40,200 --> 00:47:41,800
Oh, yeah.

649
00:47:44,800 --> 00:47:47,300
- Here.
- Mum, this won't take a second, all right?

650
00:47:50,800 --> 00:47:55,000
- Have you still got the child locks on?
- Safety first, Shaun.

651
00:47:55,100 --> 00:47:57,100
You can't...

652
00:47:58,600 --> 00:48:01,200
Hey, man, watch the leather.

653
00:48:03,700 --> 00:48:06,500
Keep moving. If there's any problems...

654
00:48:06,700 --> 00:48:08,900
I'll do the honks.

655
00:48:33,100 --> 00:48:35,100
'Hello? '

656
00:48:37,100 --> 00:48:39,600
Hello?

657
00:49:00,700 --> 00:49:03,400
- Guys, can you let me in?
- What are you doing?

658
00:49:03,600 --> 00:49:06,300
I've come to get you.

659
00:49:18,600 --> 00:49:22,400
- What are you doing?
- I've come to take you somewhere safe.

660
00:49:22,600 --> 00:49:24,700
- We were safe!
- You don't know that.

661
00:49:24,900 --> 00:49:27,800
There was two of them out there.
How many are there now?

662
00:49:28,000 --> 00:49:29,200
- Lots.
- Lots!

663
00:49:29,300 --> 00:49:32,200
It only takes one of them
to know you're in here.

664
00:49:32,300 --> 00:49:35,900
I tried calling but I couldn't get through.
I had to come up with a plan.

665
00:49:36,200 --> 00:49:39,500
- Oh, you made a plan?
- We have to get out of here.

666
00:49:39,700 --> 00:49:42,200
If we don't, they'll tear us to pieces.

667
00:49:42,400 --> 00:49:45,100
And that will exacerbate things for all of us.

668
00:49:45,400 --> 00:49:48,100
- Shaun...
- This is not about you and me.

669
00:49:48,300 --> 00:49:50,200
This is about survival.

670
00:49:50,400 --> 00:49:54,200
We need to be somewhere more secure,
somewhere we can stay alive.

671
00:49:54,300 --> 00:49:56,500
- We're with you, Shaun.
- What?

672
00:49:56,600 --> 00:49:59,300
- We're with you.
- I'm not going out there.

673
00:49:59,400 --> 00:50:04,000
Daffs! I don't want to be torn to pieces
and if you think about it, neither do you.

674
00:50:04,300 --> 00:50:06,900
- I'm not going if Lizzie's not going.
- She's going.

675
00:50:07,000 --> 00:50:09,100
- I'm not staying by myself.
- You're going, aren't you?

676
00:50:09,300 --> 00:50:11,300
- Lizzie?
- Liz?

677
00:50:16,200 --> 00:50:19,300
- All right, Flash, what's your plan?
- Great. I've got a car

678
00:50:19,600 --> 00:50:23,100
but it's gonna be a bit cramped now.
Has anyone got transport?

679
00:50:23,300 --> 00:50:25,200
- Yes!
- Great. Where?

680
00:50:25,400 --> 00:50:28,100
Oh, no. Well, I've passed my test.

681
00:50:28,300 --> 00:50:29,500
David?

682
00:50:29,600 --> 00:50:33,100
I don't see the point
of owning a car in London.

683
00:50:33,200 --> 00:50:35,800
Look, just get any blunt objects together.

684
00:50:36,000 --> 00:50:38,700
If you get cornered,
bash them in the head.

685
00:50:38,900 --> 00:50:41,500
Keep together, stay sharp and follow me.

686
00:50:41,700 --> 00:50:44,000
So, what's the plan, then?

687
00:50:44,200 --> 00:50:46,500
We're going to the Winchester.

688
00:50:50,600 --> 00:50:52,300
OK? Let's go.

689
00:51:08,600 --> 00:51:10,600
- Come on.
- Where's the car?

690
00:51:15,200 --> 00:51:17,300
What's up, niggaz?

691
00:51:22,100 --> 00:51:26,000
Apologies for the cramped conditions.
Di, stay on David's lap.

692
00:51:26,300 --> 00:51:29,200
Philip, hang in there, OK?
Ed, get there fast.

693
00:51:29,400 --> 00:51:31,500
And, Mum, this is Liz. Liz, Mum.

694
00:51:31,700 --> 00:51:33,500
Hello.

695
00:51:40,700 --> 00:51:42,000
Ed, be careful.

696
00:51:42,100 --> 00:51:44,100
- Is your dad all right?
- He's not my dad.

697
00:51:44,300 --> 00:51:46,700
- He's bleeding.
- I know! Ed, be careful.

698
00:51:46,800 --> 00:51:49,400
Thought you wanted to get there fast?

699
00:51:50,100 --> 00:51:53,100
I want to get there in one piece!
Why are we going this way?

700
00:51:53,200 --> 00:51:55,200
Chill out, it's a short cut.

701
00:51:55,400 --> 00:51:58,300
- That road goes to the Winchester.
- Shaun...

702
00:51:58,500 --> 00:52:02,600
- Liz, please!
- I don't understand why the Winchester?

703
00:52:02,900 --> 00:52:05,900
- It's a pub, it's safe, it's secure.
- They know us.

704
00:52:06,100 --> 00:52:10,000
- What makes it so secure?
- It's got big heavy doors and deadbolts.

705
00:52:10,200 --> 00:52:12,000
And there's a rifle above the bar.

706
00:52:12,200 --> 00:52:16,700
- I would think that's deactivated.
- It's not. John's connected. Big Al says so.

707
00:52:16,800 --> 00:52:18,800
Big Al also says dogs can't look up.

708
00:52:19,000 --> 00:52:20,400
- They can't.
- Can't they?

709
00:52:20,600 --> 00:52:22,600
- Of course they can!
- Are you sure?

710
00:52:22,800 --> 00:52:26,100
Yes! The pub is the right place to go.
Everything is gonna be fine.

711
00:52:26,300 --> 00:52:28,600
- Shaun...
- I turned it off, all right?

712
00:52:28,800 --> 00:52:30,900
What?

713
00:52:31,100 --> 00:52:34,200
- Being a father, it's not easy.
- What?

714
00:52:35,000 --> 00:52:39,200
You were 12 when I met you,
you'd already grown up so much.

715
00:52:39,400 --> 00:52:45,200
I just wanted you to be strong
and not give up because you lost your dad.

716
00:52:46,600 --> 00:52:51,900
- Philip, you don't have to explain.
- No, I do. I always loved you, Shaun.

717
00:52:52,100 --> 00:52:56,700
And I always thought
you had it in you to do well.

718
00:52:57,000 --> 00:53:01,100
You just need... m-motivation.

719
00:53:01,400 --> 00:53:03,800
Somebody to look up to and...

720
00:53:06,900 --> 00:53:08,900
I thought it could be me.

721
00:53:10,500 --> 00:53:13,400
Would you just... take care of your mum?

722
00:53:17,200 --> 00:53:19,200
There's a good boy.

723
00:53:22,300 --> 00:53:24,700
- Ed, can you pull over?
- Two seconds.

724
00:53:27,500 --> 00:53:30,100
- Ah! Ed, please pull over.
- What for?

725
00:53:30,200 --> 00:53:33,000
- Just pull over!
- All right.

726
00:53:38,800 --> 00:53:40,200
Whoa, momma!

727
00:53:40,400 --> 00:53:43,700
- What the hell are you doing?
- Chill out. Everyone's all right.

728
00:53:43,800 --> 00:53:45,900
Stop telling me to chill out!

729
00:53:47,000 --> 00:53:50,400
- And everybody is not all right.
- What's wrong?

730
00:53:50,600 --> 00:53:53,100
Mum, it's Philip, he's gone.

731
00:53:53,300 --> 00:53:55,800
- Where's he gone?
- Mum, he's dead.

732
00:53:56,900 --> 00:53:59,100
No, he isn't.

733
00:53:59,200 --> 00:54:01,100
Get out!

734
00:54:02,700 --> 00:54:04,900
Jesus!

735
00:54:05,000 --> 00:54:08,200
- Get it open!
- Ed, get the child locks!

736
00:54:08,300 --> 00:54:10,300
Quick!

737
00:54:12,900 --> 00:54:14,800
- The child lock!
- Ed!

738
00:54:34,700 --> 00:54:36,700
- Now what?
- We keep moving.

739
00:54:36,900 --> 00:54:40,500
- How do we get Philip out the car?
- We haven't got time.

740
00:54:40,700 --> 00:54:43,300
- We can't leave your dad.
- He's not my dad!

741
00:54:43,500 --> 00:54:45,400
Mum, he was, but he's not any more.

742
00:54:45,600 --> 00:54:49,800
- I really think we could...
- That's not your husband in there. OK?

743
00:54:50,100 --> 00:54:54,300
It looks like him but there is nothing
of the man you loved in that car.

744
00:54:56,800 --> 00:54:58,800
Let's go, shall we?

745
00:54:59,000 --> 00:55:01,200
You're not suggesting we walk?

746
00:55:04,600 --> 00:55:07,000
- Everybody OK?
- Yeah, we're having a whale of a time.

747
00:55:07,500 --> 00:55:10,600
Maybe we should all hold hands,
make a crocodile?

748
00:55:10,900 --> 00:55:12,800
Do you know where we're going?

749
00:55:12,900 --> 00:55:15,200
- David, come on.
- Sorry.

750
00:55:15,400 --> 00:55:17,700
- Do you, though?
- Yeah, totally.

751
00:55:18,000 --> 00:55:19,500
Are we close?

752
00:55:25,200 --> 00:55:27,500
We're pretty close.

753
00:55:27,800 --> 00:55:30,600
- Is your mum gonna be OK?
- Yeah, I hope so.

754
00:55:30,700 --> 00:55:33,500
- Did you contact your folks?
- They're in Antigua.

755
00:55:33,700 --> 00:55:36,500
- Do you think this is happening there?
- I hope not.

756
00:55:36,700 --> 00:55:39,600
About last night.
I know loads of things were said but...

757
00:55:39,800 --> 00:55:42,500
- You said this wasn't about us.
- No, it's not.

758
00:55:42,700 --> 00:55:45,500
- You said it was about survival.
- It is, but...

759
00:55:45,700 --> 00:55:50,800
You're notjust trying to prove something?
I meant everything I said last night.

760
00:55:53,400 --> 00:55:56,500
- Maybe this isn't the best time to talk.
- OK.

761
00:55:57,800 --> 00:55:59,300
Shaun.

762
00:55:59,400 --> 00:56:00,800
Yvonne.

763
00:56:00,900 --> 00:56:03,600
- How's it going?
- Er, surviving.

764
00:56:03,800 --> 00:56:06,200
Hey, Liz. Long time no see.

765
00:56:06,400 --> 00:56:08,000
Hey, Yvonne.

766
00:56:08,200 --> 00:56:10,900
Erm... this is my boyfriend, Declan.

767
00:56:11,100 --> 00:56:13,000
Erm... my friends Mark, Maggie,

768
00:56:13,200 --> 00:56:16,500
- my mum and my cousin Tom.
- All right.

769
00:56:16,800 --> 00:56:19,200
This is Shaun and his girlfriend Liz.

770
00:56:19,400 --> 00:56:22,200
- They've split up, actually.
- Oh, really?

771
00:56:22,400 --> 00:56:24,500
- Yeah.
- That's a shame.

772
00:56:24,600 --> 00:56:27,500
We should scoot.
Have you got somewhere you're going?

773
00:56:27,700 --> 00:56:31,100
- Yeah, we're going to the Winchester.
- The pub?

774
00:56:33,100 --> 00:56:35,700
- Yeah.
- Right, well. Good luck!

775
00:56:41,800 --> 00:56:43,500
Hi.

776
00:56:43,700 --> 00:56:45,100
Hello.

777
00:56:45,100 --> 00:56:46,200
Hi.

778
00:56:46,400 --> 00:56:48,100
Hello.

779
00:56:48,100 --> 00:56:49,700
All right.

780
00:56:52,500 --> 00:56:55,000
See? The Winchester's just over there.

781
00:56:55,100 --> 00:56:57,400
- Over where?
- Over there.

782
00:56:57,500 --> 00:57:00,000
Just over there, over the 20 garden fences?

783
00:57:00,100 --> 00:57:01,900
What's the matter, David?

784
00:57:02,500 --> 00:57:04,600
Never taken a short cut before?

785
00:57:21,600 --> 00:57:23,100
Shaun.

786
00:57:23,300 --> 00:57:26,000
I'm sure Jill and Derek live round here.

787
00:57:40,100 --> 00:57:44,100
Now, the Winchester
is just over that fence, all right?

788
00:57:44,300 --> 00:57:47,400
Everyone stay where they are, I'll...
Are we all here?

789
00:57:47,700 --> 00:57:51,200
- One, two, three, four, five. Yes.
- There's six of us.

790
00:57:51,300 --> 00:57:53,500
Mum!

791
00:57:56,300 --> 00:57:58,300
I'm coming!

792
00:57:58,500 --> 00:58:01,000
Mum, are you OK? Are you OK?

793
00:58:01,200 --> 00:58:03,900
I don't think Jill and Derek do live here.

794
00:58:07,900 --> 00:58:10,300
Shaun?

795
00:58:11,400 --> 00:58:13,500
Are you all right?

796
00:58:31,000 --> 00:58:33,600
What are you doing?

797
00:58:35,800 --> 00:58:37,800
Shaun!

798
00:58:41,000 --> 00:58:42,700
Yes!

799
00:58:44,400 --> 00:58:46,500
No, that's rubbish.

800
00:58:54,100 --> 00:58:56,200
- Ooh!
- Yes!

801
00:58:58,000 --> 00:59:00,200
Feel free to step in any time.

802
00:59:00,400 --> 00:59:03,400
- You did all right.
- I didn't want to cramp your style.

803
00:59:03,600 --> 00:59:05,700
I'm so sorry about that.

804
00:59:07,500 --> 00:59:09,600
Right.

805
00:59:11,000 --> 00:59:15,600
OK, everyone stay where they are.
I'm gonna check if the coast is clear.

806
00:59:24,600 --> 00:59:26,600
- Is it clear?
- No.

807
00:59:26,700 --> 00:59:28,800
- How many?
- Lots.

808
00:59:39,100 --> 00:59:42,000
Oh, well, that is just great.

809
00:59:42,200 --> 00:59:44,300
There are a fair few of them, yes.

810
00:59:44,400 --> 00:59:47,600
I trust Shaun has another genius scheme
up his sleeve?

811
00:59:47,900 --> 00:59:50,000
This is hardly constructive, David!

812
00:59:50,100 --> 00:59:53,800
- We should have stayed at the flat.
- Why didn't you?

813
00:59:54,000 --> 00:59:58,100
Because... Because, because of...
Captain Wow.

814
00:59:58,400 --> 01:00:01,700
- Will you stop it?
- We'll get nowhere moaning.

815
01:00:09,800 --> 01:00:12,300
Right, let's all shake out.
Get nice and limber.

816
01:00:12,500 --> 01:00:14,900
Or not.

817
01:00:15,900 --> 01:00:19,400
Take another look at the way he moves.
Remember, very limp.

818
01:00:19,700 --> 01:00:25,000
Almost like sleepwalking. Look at the face,
it's vacant with a hint of sadness.

819
01:00:25,200 --> 01:00:27,400
Like a drunk who's lost a bet.

820
01:00:27,600 --> 01:00:29,500
OK, let's try, shall we? Liz.

821
01:00:33,400 --> 01:00:37,400
Nice. Good vocal work.
OK. Barbara, that's excellent.

822
01:00:37,700 --> 01:00:40,100
Sorry, dear, I was miles away.

823
01:00:40,200 --> 01:00:42,800
- D-Daffs.
- Uh.

824
01:00:43,000 --> 01:00:44,900
- Come on!
- Urgh.

825
01:00:45,100 --> 01:00:48,300
It's mournful, sorrowful,
you're dead and you hate it. Go.

826
01:00:48,600 --> 01:00:50,200
Uuurgh.

827
01:00:50,300 --> 01:00:53,100
- Much better. Ed.
- I'll do it on the night.

828
01:00:53,400 --> 01:00:55,600
This is the night!

829
01:00:55,800 --> 01:00:58,100
- What is that?
- What about yours?

830
01:00:58,200 --> 01:01:01,100
Who died and made you
fucking king of the zombies?

831
01:01:01,200 --> 01:01:02,800
Don't...

832
01:01:05,600 --> 01:01:07,500
Yeah, that's pretty good.

833
01:01:07,600 --> 01:01:13,300
Right, let's all try together, shall we?
One, two, three.

834
01:02:07,900 --> 01:02:09,700
Go, go, go, go.

835
01:02:12,100 --> 01:02:14,400
Shit! Get round me, get round me!

836
01:02:14,600 --> 01:02:18,900
John? John, Bernie, are you there?
It's Shaun and Ed. We come in all the time.

837
01:02:19,900 --> 01:02:22,100
- They can hear you.
- We do the quiz.

838
01:02:22,300 --> 01:02:23,700
- They know.
- Stay in character!

839
01:02:23,900 --> 01:02:27,000
- I can't see them.
- Shaun, we have to get inside.

840
01:02:27,100 --> 01:02:29,600
- Break the window.
- We'll be exposed!

841
01:02:29,800 --> 01:02:32,500
- Break the window!
- Is there another way in?

842
01:02:32,600 --> 01:02:34,600
Yeah, there's...

843
01:02:35,600 --> 01:02:38,000
Two seconds. Hey, Noodle.

844
01:02:38,300 --> 01:02:40,900
- 'All right? '
- Yeah, man, I can't talk now.

845
01:02:41,100 --> 01:02:43,800
- 'You get anything yet? '
- I got nothing.

846
01:02:44,000 --> 01:02:46,800
I'm in the middle of something.
Yeah, it's weird.

847
01:02:46,900 --> 01:02:50,600
- Oi! What are you doing?
- What are you doing? You stupid moron.

848
01:02:50,900 --> 01:02:53,400
- Fuck off.
- You fuck off!

849
01:02:53,500 --> 01:02:56,900
Fuck fucking off! I've spent an entire life...

850
01:02:57,100 --> 01:03:00,200
Look at me. I've spent my entire life
sticking up for you

851
01:03:00,400 --> 01:03:03,600
and all you ever do is fuck things up
and make me look stupid.

852
01:03:03,700 --> 01:03:06,700
I'm not gonna let you do it any more.
Not today!

853
01:03:06,900 --> 01:03:08,800
Shaun.

854
01:03:08,900 --> 01:03:10,100
Oh.

855
01:03:17,600 --> 01:03:20,300
You were saying about another way in?

856
01:03:20,500 --> 01:03:22,500
Yeah, there's a...

857
01:03:22,700 --> 01:03:25,200
What are you doing?

858
01:03:26,400 --> 01:03:29,500
- No!
- Get inside.

859
01:03:29,800 --> 01:03:33,400
No, they'll follow us.
Keep up the act, I'll have to do something.

860
01:03:33,600 --> 01:03:37,400
- What do you mean do something?
- Hello, hello, over here!

861
01:03:37,600 --> 01:03:41,600
Come on, that's it.
Come on, that's it, over here!

862
01:03:41,900 --> 01:03:44,800
Over here! Come on. Oh, bollocks.

863
01:03:44,900 --> 01:03:47,800
- Wait till I've gone then get inside.
- Gone where?

864
01:03:48,000 --> 01:03:53,500
I won't be long, I promise. Come on,
you pasty-faced fuckers, let's go! Follow me.

865
01:03:53,800 --> 01:03:57,100
Come on, this way, that's it!

866
01:03:57,400 --> 01:04:01,100
Come on. This way, follow me.
Come on, follow me.

867
01:04:01,300 --> 01:04:04,700
Come and get it. It's a running buffet.

868
01:04:04,900 --> 01:04:07,000
All you can eat!

869
01:04:07,200 --> 01:04:09,200
Shall we go in, then?

870
01:04:17,400 --> 01:04:20,800
- Come on, Barbara. Leave those.
- I think they're for me.

871
01:04:40,900 --> 01:04:43,500
- He's been gone a good 20 minutes.
- 17.

872
01:04:43,900 --> 01:04:49,100
Either way, we need to think about blocking
up this window. We're totally exposed.

873
01:04:49,300 --> 01:04:52,800
- How will Shaun get back in?
- I'm sure he'll knock.

874
01:04:54,600 --> 01:04:57,400
- Let's get some lights on.
- David, wait!

875
01:04:58,900 --> 01:05:01,400
- Power's off.
- That's a good thing.

876
01:05:01,500 --> 01:05:04,800
- We mustn't advertise our whereabouts.
- No, of course not.

877
01:05:05,100 --> 01:05:08,900
- Do we, David?
- No, of course not, Lizzie.

878
01:05:09,100 --> 01:05:11,000
I'm just being proactive.

879
01:05:11,100 --> 01:05:15,300
There's no lights, no power.
And there's a hole in the window.

880
01:05:15,600 --> 01:05:19,100
- You did that, you twat.
- Somebody had to do something!

881
01:05:19,300 --> 01:05:23,000
We were in a spot of bother. Somebody
has to take control of the situation

882
01:05:23,300 --> 01:05:27,400
and if none of you are prepared
to accept that responsibility

883
01:05:27,700 --> 01:05:30,700
then perhaps... I should.

884
01:05:30,800 --> 01:05:34,100
- Will Shaun be gone long?
- He'll be back soon.

885
01:05:34,400 --> 01:05:37,100
- How do you know?
- I don't think he'd leave us.

886
01:05:37,300 --> 01:05:43,300
Wouldn't he? How can you trust a man
you binned for being unreliable?

887
01:05:43,500 --> 01:05:48,000
A man whose idea of a romantic nightspot
is also an impenetrable fortress.

888
01:05:48,200 --> 01:05:51,200
This is a pub! We are in a pub!
What are we going to do?

889
01:05:51,500 --> 01:05:54,000
I could get a round in.

890
01:05:54,100 --> 01:05:57,700
Let's just wait for Shaun. We'll barricade
the window when he gets back.

891
01:05:57,900 --> 01:06:00,800
What then? How long?
Days? Weeks? A month?

892
01:06:01,000 --> 01:06:03,100
- What are we going to eat?
- Toasties!

893
01:06:03,300 --> 01:06:06,700
- There's a Breville out back.
- Great. Saved by nibbles.

894
01:06:07,000 --> 01:06:09,200
Must be why Shaun took us here
before he left.

895
01:06:09,400 --> 01:06:13,300
- He's coming back!
- Why? Because he promised?

896
01:06:13,600 --> 01:06:18,400
If he does, do you think his master plan
will be anything more than eating peanuts?

897
01:06:18,700 --> 01:06:21,700
Is he just gonna stroll in
and suddenly everything's OK?

898
01:06:21,900 --> 01:06:26,200
I don't know, David!
I don't know any more than you do.

899
01:06:26,500 --> 01:06:30,900
But what I do know is that we're here now
and we have to make the best of it.

900
01:06:32,700 --> 01:06:35,600
- Ed, get me a double vodka.
- Right you are.

901
01:06:35,800 --> 01:06:38,800
I'll have a drink too.
Would you like a drink, Barbara?

902
01:06:39,000 --> 01:06:41,100
- Hello.
- Right, great, fuck it.

903
01:06:41,200 --> 01:06:44,700
We'll have a party
and get completely smashed.

904
01:06:44,900 --> 01:06:48,500
We've got our nibbles.
We've got our Mini Cheddars.

905
01:06:48,700 --> 01:06:52,100
- David!
- We got Twiglets. Oh, look, hog lumps.

906
01:06:57,700 --> 01:06:59,200
Pickle!

907
01:06:59,300 --> 01:07:00,900
Hello, Mum. You all right?

908
01:07:01,100 --> 01:07:03,100
- Everybody OK?
- Yeah.

909
01:07:03,200 --> 01:07:05,400
- Any sign of John and Bernie?
- No.

910
01:07:05,500 --> 01:07:07,700
- Check upstairs?
- It's locked.

911
01:07:07,800 --> 01:07:10,300
- Phones?
- Dead. Same as the power.

912
01:07:10,400 --> 01:07:14,300
- OK...
- Nice of you to join us.

913
01:07:14,400 --> 01:07:16,900
Yeah, well, I promised, didn't I?

914
01:07:22,900 --> 01:07:25,600
How did you lose them?

915
01:07:27,400 --> 01:07:30,900
I just gave them the slip.
Wasn't difficult. They're not all that.

916
01:07:31,000 --> 01:07:33,700
- Well, how did you get in?
- The back door.

917
01:07:33,800 --> 01:07:36,200
I tried to tell you
before you smashed the window.

918
01:07:36,400 --> 01:07:39,600
But it wasn't me blowing our cover
by arguing with my boyfriend.

919
01:07:39,900 --> 01:07:43,500
- He's not my boyfriend.
- Might be a bit warm, the cooler's off.

920
01:07:43,600 --> 01:07:45,700
Thanks, babe.

921
01:07:47,300 --> 01:07:49,200
So, what's the plan, then?

922
01:07:51,400 --> 01:07:53,900
Would anyone like a peanut?

923
01:08:04,000 --> 01:08:06,100
Why don't you do your Clyde?

924
01:08:06,300 --> 01:08:09,200
Has anyone seen
Every Which Way But Loose?

925
01:08:09,300 --> 01:08:12,200
Ed does the most amazing
impression of the orang-utan.

926
01:08:12,300 --> 01:08:14,900
- No, it's not.
- It is. Come on. Do it.

927
01:08:15,100 --> 01:08:17,800
- No, no.
- But it's brilliant. Come on.

928
01:08:17,900 --> 01:08:20,900
- You've built it up too much.
- No, just do it.

929
01:08:21,200 --> 01:08:24,000
Everyone wants to see it.
We could do with a laugh.

930
01:08:24,100 --> 01:08:26,600
Do it, do it, do it, do it. Come on, do it.

931
01:08:26,800 --> 01:08:28,800
I'm not a performing monkey.

932
01:08:31,400 --> 01:08:34,600
- The power's on.
- It's not, I tried it earlier.

933
01:08:34,700 --> 01:08:38,500
The streetlights are on.
I'll flip the fuses, we can watch television.

934
01:08:38,800 --> 01:08:42,400
- What about the lights?
- Yes. Don't advertise our whereabouts.

935
01:08:42,600 --> 01:08:46,300
The lights are on a separate circuit.
Just flip the mains breakers.

936
01:08:46,500 --> 01:08:48,800
It's quite simple, David.

937
01:09:16,800 --> 01:09:19,300
- Is that it?
- That's it.

938
01:09:45,700 --> 01:09:49,000
Liz, erm... have you got a quid?

939
01:09:50,300 --> 01:09:52,100
Erm...

940
01:09:54,200 --> 01:09:55,700
Yeah.

941
01:10:00,300 --> 01:10:02,500
Never anything on, is there?

942
01:10:07,200 --> 01:10:08,900
What?

943
01:10:11,000 --> 01:10:14,900
- I think we might have a bit of a problem.
- What do you mean?

944
01:10:19,000 --> 01:10:22,700
- They followed me.
- I thought you said you gave them the slip.

945
01:10:23,000 --> 01:10:25,300
Yeah.

946
01:10:25,300 --> 01:10:29,700
Well, we'll just have to be
extra quiet then, won't we?

947
01:10:31,400 --> 01:10:33,400
What?

948
01:10:35,300 --> 01:10:37,700
Ed, no!

949
01:10:37,800 --> 01:10:39,900
Turn it off!

950
01:11:11,400 --> 01:11:13,200
Shit!

951
01:11:13,400 --> 01:11:16,000
- Where the hell did he come from?
- I dunno.

952
01:11:20,100 --> 01:11:23,000
- Who put this on?
- It's on random.

953
01:11:23,100 --> 01:11:26,200
Dianne, get Mum somewhere safe.
David, kill the Queen.

954
01:11:26,400 --> 01:11:28,100
- What?!
- The jukebox!

955
01:11:28,200 --> 01:11:30,800
- Liz, Ed, grab a weapon.
- What about the rifle?

956
01:11:31,000 --> 01:11:33,000
- Cocktails?
- What do you mean?

957
01:11:33,100 --> 01:11:36,500
The flaming spirits
Get a rag in, light it.

958
01:11:36,700 --> 01:11:39,700
- But the whole place could go up.
- What, then?

959
01:11:39,800 --> 01:11:41,700
How about pool?

960
01:11:41,800 --> 01:11:45,000
# Don't stop me now

961
01:11:45,200 --> 01:11:47,100
# Don't stop me

962
01:11:47,200 --> 01:11:50,300
- # Cos I'm having... #
- John, it's time at the bar.

963
01:11:50,500 --> 01:11:54,200
# I'm a shooting star
leaping through the sky like a tiger

964
01:11:54,400 --> 01:11:57,900
# Defying the laws of gravity

965
01:11:58,000 --> 01:12:02,100
# I'm a racing car passing by
like Lady Godiva

966
01:12:02,400 --> 01:12:04,700
# I'm gonna go, go, go

967
01:12:04,900 --> 01:12:07,300
# There's no stopping me

968
01:12:07,500 --> 01:12:09,700
# I'm burning through the sky...

969
01:12:09,800 --> 01:12:12,600
- I can't find the switches!
- Then get the fuses!

970
01:12:13,200 --> 01:12:15,100
# That's why they call me Mister Fahrenheit

971
01:12:15,100 --> 01:12:17,200
# I'm travelling at the speed of light

972
01:12:17,400 --> 01:12:21,100
# I wanna make
a supersonic man out of you

973
01:12:21,400 --> 01:12:23,400
# Don't stop me now

974
01:12:23,600 --> 01:12:25,600
# I'm having such a good time

975
01:12:25,800 --> 01:12:27,700
# I'm having a ball

976
01:12:27,900 --> 01:12:29,700
# Don't stop me now

977
01:12:29,800 --> 01:12:31,800
# If you wanna have a good time

978
01:12:32,000 --> 01:12:33,800
# Just give me a call

979
01:12:33,900 --> 01:12:36,400
# Don't stop me now
cos I'm having a good time

980
01:12:36,600 --> 01:12:38,400
# Don't stop me now

981
01:12:38,500 --> 01:12:44,000
# Yes I'm having a good time
I don't wanna stop at all

982
01:12:44,300 --> 01:12:48,200
- # I'm a rocket ship on my way to Mars...
- Why is Queen still on?

983
01:12:48,400 --> 01:12:50,800
- We have a situation!
- I know!

984
01:12:52,000 --> 01:12:54,200
- Fuck this. Two seconds.
- Ed!

985
01:12:54,300 --> 01:12:55,900
Oi!

986
01:12:56,000 --> 01:13:00,700
# Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, explode

987
01:13:00,900 --> 01:13:03,900
# I'm burning through the sky, yeah...

988
01:13:04,100 --> 01:13:05,800
Shaun!

989
01:13:06,000 --> 01:13:08,000
#... call me Mister Fahrenheit...

990
01:13:08,200 --> 01:13:09,600
No!

991
01:13:11,600 --> 01:13:13,800
Yes! Yes! In the head!

992
01:13:16,800 --> 01:13:18,600
Ooow!

993
01:13:18,600 --> 01:13:20,100
Shauny!

994
01:13:20,300 --> 01:13:22,300
# Don't stop me
Ooh, ooh, ooh

995
01:13:22,500 --> 01:13:26,300
# Don't stop me, don't stop me
good time, good time

996
01:13:26,500 --> 01:13:28,400
# Don't stop me... #

997
01:13:36,100 --> 01:13:38,400
Why didn't you just shoot him, man?

998
01:13:40,000 --> 01:13:42,100
Ed, for the last time, it's...

999
01:13:45,800 --> 01:13:49,800
I fucking knew it!
What did I tell you? Big Al was right.

1000
01:13:50,100 --> 01:13:51,900
OK.

1001
01:13:55,600 --> 01:13:57,500
But dogs can look up.

1002
01:14:00,400 --> 01:14:02,800
- Has anyone fired a gun before?
- Oh, yeah.

1003
01:14:03,500 --> 01:14:05,300
- Apart from Ed?
- I'm a pacifist.

1004
01:14:05,400 --> 01:14:08,100
- Apart from David and Ed?
- What was Ed's experience?

1005
01:14:08,300 --> 01:14:11,500
- He shot his sister in the leg.
- I think you should do it.

1006
01:14:11,700 --> 01:14:14,800
- We should all do it.
- How can five people operate one gun?

1007
01:14:14,900 --> 01:14:17,700
- No one has any experience. We've got...
- 29.

1008
01:14:18,000 --> 01:14:19,900
- 29 bullets.
- Call them shells.

1009
01:14:20,000 --> 01:14:23,000
29 shells. I need someone
to help me reload,

1010
01:14:23,200 --> 01:14:25,700
everyone else to look out. I will fire.

1011
01:14:25,800 --> 01:14:30,600
As Bertrand Russell said the only thing
that will redeem mankind is co-operation.

1012
01:14:30,900 --> 01:14:33,000
I think we can all appreciate that now.

1013
01:14:33,100 --> 01:14:36,600
- Was that on a beer mat?
- Yeah, it was Guinness Extra Cold.

1014
01:14:36,800 --> 01:14:38,600
- I won't say anything.
- Thanks.

1015
01:14:40,400 --> 01:14:43,400
- They want to come in.
- Get Mum out of the way.

1016
01:14:43,600 --> 01:14:47,100
David, Dianne, let's go.
Ed, give me some shells.

1017
01:14:49,500 --> 01:14:51,700
- Barbara.
- Oh, hello.

1018
01:14:51,900 --> 01:14:54,800
- Would you like to come with me?
- That'd be lovely.

1019
01:14:56,400 --> 01:15:01,400
It's nice to meet you, finally.
Shaun's always talking about you.

1020
01:15:01,700 --> 01:15:03,700
- Really?
- Yeah.

1021
01:15:03,800 --> 01:15:05,700
- Ah!
- Barbara?

1022
01:15:07,300 --> 01:15:09,800
Are you all right?

1023
01:15:09,900 --> 01:15:11,700
I've got something for you.

1024
01:15:12,900 --> 01:15:16,500
Shaun's father gave me this.
Shaun's real father, I mean.

1025
01:15:16,800 --> 01:15:20,200
- I'd like you to have it.
- Barbara, Shaun and I have...

1026
01:15:20,300 --> 01:15:23,200
It seems only right.

1027
01:15:37,600 --> 01:15:39,600
I didn't want to say anything.

1028
01:15:39,700 --> 01:15:41,800
I thought Shaun would be worried.

1029
01:15:43,800 --> 01:15:45,400
Liz!

1030
01:15:45,500 --> 01:15:47,200
Here they come!

1031
01:15:48,700 --> 01:15:50,900
- Stay behind me!
- There's one!

1032
01:15:51,000 --> 01:15:53,400
Sorry, we're closed!

1033
01:15:53,500 --> 01:15:55,800
- The safety!
- That happened to me on stage.

1034
01:15:55,900 --> 01:15:58,000
Cock it!

1035
01:16:05,100 --> 01:16:06,800
- There!
- Where?

1036
01:16:07,000 --> 01:16:08,900
Three o'clock!

1037
01:16:14,300 --> 01:16:17,800
- Oh! Over there again. Quarter to twelve.
- What?

1038
01:16:18,000 --> 01:16:20,100
- 11:45!
- Keep it simple!

1039
01:16:21,300 --> 01:16:23,100
Top left!

1040
01:16:25,400 --> 01:16:27,500
- Reload.
- I'm on it!

1041
01:16:27,600 --> 01:16:29,600
Come on, come on.

1042
01:16:33,100 --> 01:16:34,900
Nice shot.

1043
01:16:35,000 --> 01:16:37,600
OK, David, Dianne,
let's block up this window!

1044
01:16:37,700 --> 01:16:39,800
Ed, take over a sec.

1045
01:16:40,000 --> 01:16:42,500
- What is it? What's wrong?
- Shaun, I'm so sorry.

1046
01:16:42,700 --> 01:16:45,100
- Mum, what's wrong?
- I didn't want to be a bother.

1047
01:16:45,300 --> 01:16:47,400
- Mum, what's wrong?
- I didn't want to be a bother.

1048
01:16:50,400 --> 01:16:53,700
- Mum, I don't understand.
- The man in his pyjamas.

1049
01:16:53,900 --> 01:16:57,000
I didn't want to say anything,
I thought you'd be upset.

1050
01:16:57,300 --> 01:17:00,200
No, you should've said.

1051
01:17:00,400 --> 01:17:03,400
- Take over a sec.
- What's going on?

1052
01:17:03,500 --> 01:17:05,900
- What's up?
- What the hell's going on?

1053
01:17:06,100 --> 01:17:09,200
- Barbara's hurt!
- Just take over a minute.

1054
01:17:09,400 --> 01:17:11,300
Jesus.

1055
01:17:11,300 --> 01:17:13,300
I know first aid.

1056
01:17:13,500 --> 01:17:16,300
Just hang on. Mum!

1057
01:17:16,600 --> 01:17:19,000
- Mum.
- Is she...?

1058
01:17:19,100 --> 01:17:21,300
Just hold on, Mum, you're gonna be fine.

1059
01:17:21,500 --> 01:17:24,500
- I never thanked you.
- For what?

1060
01:17:25,900 --> 01:17:29,700
For these. "To a wonderful mum."

1061
01:17:31,900 --> 01:17:34,500
It's been a funny sort of day, hasn't it?

1062
01:17:35,600 --> 01:17:38,400
Oh, no, no! Mum, come on.

1063
01:17:38,700 --> 01:17:40,800
Stop it, stop it, stop it.

1064
01:17:40,900 --> 01:17:43,200
Mum. Please don't go.

1065
01:17:54,800 --> 01:17:57,700
- What are you doing?
- We have to deal with her.

1066
01:17:57,800 --> 01:18:00,300
- Daffs!
- For Christ's sake!

1067
01:18:00,600 --> 01:18:02,800
- She's gonna come back!
- She's not going anywhere.

1068
01:18:03,000 --> 01:18:05,300
- She'll change.
- She's my mum!

1069
01:18:05,500 --> 01:18:08,100
- She's a zombie.
- Don't say that.

1070
01:18:09,200 --> 01:18:11,500
Move aside. I'm gonna count to three.

1071
01:18:11,600 --> 01:18:13,600
One...

1072
01:18:13,800 --> 01:18:15,100
two...

1073
01:18:15,300 --> 01:18:16,500
three!

1074
01:18:16,500 --> 01:18:19,200
- Don't point that gun at my mum!
- Calm down.

1075
01:18:19,400 --> 01:18:21,800
Don't point that gun at Barbara!

1076
01:18:21,900 --> 01:18:24,300
- Ed, don't exacerbate things!
- What's that mean?

1077
01:18:24,400 --> 01:18:26,700
- This isn't exactly fair.
- Here.

1078
01:18:26,900 --> 01:18:28,600
- Thank you.
- It's OK.

1079
01:18:30,100 --> 01:18:32,800
Please, can we just stop
and think about this?

1080
01:18:33,000 --> 01:18:34,800
Tell him to put the gun down!

1081
01:18:34,900 --> 01:18:37,100
She's gonna change. You know I'm right.

1082
01:18:37,200 --> 01:18:42,400
And when she does, she'll kill all of us.
That's what your ex can't seem to realise.

1083
01:18:42,600 --> 01:18:45,700
That's what this is about, isn't it?
He doesn't like me!

1084
01:18:45,900 --> 01:18:48,300
He's always hated me
and now he wants to shoot my mum.

1085
01:18:48,400 --> 01:18:52,000
- She's not...
- You've never thought I was good enough.

1086
01:18:52,300 --> 01:18:55,400
- What?
- We all know you're in love with Liz.

1087
01:18:55,500 --> 01:18:57,900
- That is not true.
- Yes it is!

1088
01:18:58,000 --> 01:19:00,000
- That is not true.
- Yes it is.

1089
01:19:00,100 --> 01:19:02,700
- What?
- I know you only hung out with me

1090
01:19:02,900 --> 01:19:07,700
to get close to Liz and when she knocked
you back, I was there to pick up the pieces.

1091
01:19:07,900 --> 01:19:11,500
I've come to terms with that, Daffs,
why can't you?

1092
01:19:11,800 --> 01:19:15,000
Lizzie, I want you to know
that my feelings for you...

1093
01:19:15,100 --> 01:19:19,100
David! There are slightly more
pressing matters at hand here.

1094
01:19:19,400 --> 01:19:23,400
- Like "Daffs" pointing a gun at my mum.
- I'm not being unreasonable, "Pickle".

1095
01:19:23,600 --> 01:19:26,600
- Christ, she's not dead!
- She's finished.

1096
01:19:26,700 --> 01:19:28,700
For a hero, you're quite a hypocrite.

1097
01:19:28,900 --> 01:19:31,500
You've gone from
a chartered accountant to Charlton Heston.

1098
01:19:31,700 --> 01:19:33,400
I'm not a chartered accountant.

1099
01:19:33,600 --> 01:19:35,700
- Well, you look like one.
- Yeah.

1100
01:19:35,800 --> 01:19:38,700
- I'm a lecturer.
- You're a twat.

1101
01:19:38,900 --> 01:19:42,400
She's not your mum.
In a minute she'll be just another zombie.

1102
01:19:42,600 --> 01:19:45,700
- Don't say that.
- We're not using the Z word.

1103
01:19:45,900 --> 01:19:49,700
Please can we just calm the fuck down!

1104
01:19:51,400 --> 01:19:54,900
Now, I can see what David is trying to say...

1105
01:19:55,100 --> 01:19:57,200
- Thank you.
- Even if he is being a twat.

1106
01:19:57,400 --> 01:19:59,100
Yep.

1107
01:19:59,300 --> 01:20:02,100
And, Shaun... Shaun, look at me.

1108
01:20:04,900 --> 01:20:08,400
I can't begin to imagine
how hard this must be for you

1109
01:20:08,700 --> 01:20:11,000
but we can't afford to fall apart.

1110
01:20:12,200 --> 01:20:14,900
Shaun, babe...

1111
01:20:15,200 --> 01:20:18,100
I know you don't wanna hear this...

1112
01:20:36,500 --> 01:20:38,500
You do it.

1113
01:20:48,500 --> 01:20:50,600
I'm sorry, Mum.

1114
01:20:52,100 --> 01:20:54,400
Do it!

1115
01:21:09,400 --> 01:21:13,800
Well... I think we're all agreed,
you did the right thing there.

1116
01:21:19,700 --> 01:21:21,900
David, no!

1117
01:21:22,900 --> 01:21:24,100
David!

1118
01:21:24,300 --> 01:21:26,800
- Right, I'm leaving.
- What?

1119
01:21:26,900 --> 01:21:29,400
- I'm not staying here.
- David, it's suicide.

1120
01:21:31,300 --> 01:21:34,600
- I think you should go.
- We will. We can defend ourselves.

1121
01:21:34,800 --> 01:21:37,100
- What do you mean "we"?
- What do you mean?

1122
01:21:37,300 --> 01:21:41,000
Opening that door now
would be a very silly thing to do.

1123
01:21:41,200 --> 01:21:43,500
- You gonna stay here with him?
- Look...

1124
01:21:43,700 --> 01:21:45,900
- After where he led us?
- Let me finish!

1125
01:21:46,000 --> 01:21:50,000
Shaun didn't ask you to come here.
You came for the same reason I did.

1126
01:21:50,100 --> 01:21:52,800
- Get away from that door this instant!
- But...

1127
01:21:53,000 --> 01:21:54,800
David!

1128
01:22:02,300 --> 01:22:04,400
I'm so sorry, Dianne.

1129
01:22:04,500 --> 01:22:08,400
Maybe I'm not the one
you should be apologising to.

1130
01:22:11,100 --> 01:22:13,000
Shaun...

1131
01:22:18,200 --> 01:22:20,100
David! No!

1132
01:22:20,300 --> 01:22:22,500
No! No! No!

1133
01:22:24,300 --> 01:22:26,200
David!

1134
01:22:26,800 --> 01:22:28,900
- No! No!
- David!

1135
01:22:50,000 --> 01:22:52,000
David!

1136
01:22:52,800 --> 01:22:54,400
Dianne, no!

1137
01:22:54,600 --> 01:22:56,100
I'm coming, David!

1138
01:22:59,500 --> 01:23:01,800
David!

1139
01:23:02,000 --> 01:23:03,800
Oh dear.

1140
01:23:03,900 --> 01:23:06,000
- Cocktails?
- Do it.

1141
01:23:17,000 --> 01:23:18,700
Stay back!

1142
01:23:24,000 --> 01:23:25,700
Shaun, hold them!

1143
01:23:29,000 --> 01:23:30,700
Heads!

1144
01:23:34,700 --> 01:23:36,500
- Ed!
- Hurry up!

1145
01:23:38,400 --> 01:23:40,700
Shauny, look who it is.

1146
01:23:40,900 --> 01:23:43,300
Fuck-a-doodle-doo!

1147
01:23:44,900 --> 01:23:46,500
Ed!

1148
01:23:46,700 --> 01:23:48,500
- Shaun!
- Ed!

1149
01:23:48,700 --> 01:23:50,600
Don't groan at me, you thick fuck!

1150
01:23:50,800 --> 01:23:52,500
I can't hold them!

1151
01:23:56,200 --> 01:23:57,500
No!

1152
01:24:01,700 --> 01:24:03,400
- Shaun!
- Pete!

1153
01:24:05,700 --> 01:24:07,500
I said leave him alone!

1154
01:24:10,700 --> 01:24:13,600
Ed. Ed!

1155
01:24:13,700 --> 01:24:16,700
Shaun, bar!

1156
01:24:27,900 --> 01:24:29,700
Ed!

1157
01:24:30,600 --> 01:24:32,500
Ed!

1158
01:24:33,200 --> 01:24:35,700
Ed!

1159
01:24:35,900 --> 01:24:37,700
What?

1160
01:24:37,900 --> 01:24:40,000
Chuck us a cloth, will you?

1161
01:24:53,300 --> 01:24:55,600
- Where are the shells?
- They're on the bar.

1162
01:24:55,800 --> 01:24:58,200
Oh, fuck.

1163
01:24:58,900 --> 01:25:00,600
Ow!

1164
01:25:00,700 --> 01:25:02,200
Fuck it!

1165
01:25:02,400 --> 01:25:05,200
What are we gonna do?
Where are we gonna go?

1166
01:25:05,300 --> 01:25:07,700
- The cellar.
- Maybe we can get out!

1167
01:25:07,900 --> 01:25:12,600
- There's a hatch out on to the street.
- You mean go back outside?

1168
01:25:12,900 --> 01:25:15,600
Oh, give us a fucking break!

1169
01:25:21,700 --> 01:25:23,800
Go!

1170
01:25:33,500 --> 01:25:35,600
I can see the street.

1171
01:25:36,800 --> 01:25:38,100
Come on.

1172
01:25:39,600 --> 01:25:41,500
Come on!

1173
01:25:42,500 --> 01:25:45,100
Why won't it open?

1174
01:25:55,200 --> 01:25:59,300
That's it then, we're trapped.
"Hey, let's go to the Winchester!"

1175
01:25:59,400 --> 01:26:01,300
Whose fucking idea was that?

1176
01:26:01,400 --> 01:26:04,100
Man, I've really ballsed this up.

1177
01:26:07,800 --> 01:26:11,300
- No, you haven't.
- I have, Liz. I couldn't save us.

1178
01:26:11,400 --> 01:26:16,000
I couldn't save Di or David.
I couldn't even save Mum. I'm useless.

1179
01:26:16,300 --> 01:26:21,700
You shouldn't feel so responsible, you tried.
You did something, that's what counts.

1180
01:26:23,900 --> 01:26:25,900
Yeah, I suppose.

1181
01:26:28,500 --> 01:26:31,100
Do you think they'll get through?

1182
01:26:31,300 --> 01:26:33,100
Yeah.

1183
01:26:34,700 --> 01:26:36,800
How many shells have we got left?

1184
01:26:37,000 --> 01:26:40,000
Erm... two.

1185
01:26:40,100 --> 01:26:45,000
I suppose we could take a few of them out
if they stand in a line.

1186
01:26:45,300 --> 01:26:47,400
I wasn't thinking about them.

1187
01:26:47,600 --> 01:26:49,200
I know.

1188
01:26:54,300 --> 01:26:58,800
- What about Ed? There's only two shells.
- I don't mind being eaten.

1189
01:27:02,800 --> 01:27:05,100
How are we gonna do this?

1190
01:27:05,300 --> 01:27:07,800
I don't know. Erm...

1191
01:27:08,000 --> 01:27:10,000
One of us has to go first.

1192
01:27:10,100 --> 01:27:13,200
One should do the other
and then do themselves.

1193
01:27:13,500 --> 01:27:16,400
You should do me.
I'll muck it up if I have to do myself.

1194
01:27:25,600 --> 01:27:28,800
I don't think I've got it in me
to shoot my flatmate,

1195
01:27:29,000 --> 01:27:32,200
my mum and my girlfriend
all in the same evening.

1196
01:27:33,700 --> 01:27:35,900
What makes you think I've taken you back?

1197
01:27:36,000 --> 01:27:37,800
Well...

1198
01:27:39,000 --> 01:27:41,200
you don't want to die single, do you?

1199
01:27:41,400 --> 01:27:45,000
Actually... I would like to be shot.

1200
01:27:46,200 --> 01:27:50,500
Besides, I've changed. I haven't had a fag
since yesterday, I promise.

1201
01:27:50,700 --> 01:27:52,700
He hasn't.

1202
01:27:54,500 --> 01:27:56,700
Maybe we should have one now.

1203
01:28:00,200 --> 01:28:03,100
- You left them in my flat.
- Yeah, in the bin.

1204
01:28:03,300 --> 01:28:06,200
- I was desperate.
- Sneaky monkey.

1205
01:28:06,300 --> 01:28:09,400
- Sorry.
- I won't say anything.

1206
01:28:22,000 --> 01:28:24,300
Come on, we're getting out of here.

1207
01:28:25,400 --> 01:28:28,200
- I mightjust stay here.
- But we can get out.

1208
01:28:28,400 --> 01:28:31,800
- You two should make a go of it.
- What are you talking about?

1209
01:28:32,000 --> 01:28:35,200
- I only hold you back.
- Yeah, but...

1210
01:28:41,300 --> 01:28:43,200
Maybe you should have this.

1211
01:28:44,600 --> 01:28:46,300
- Don't you want it?
- No.

1212
01:28:46,400 --> 01:28:49,200
I can't hit anything with it anyway,
I'm rubbish.

1213
01:28:52,700 --> 01:28:56,100
- Ed, I'm sorry.
- What for?

1214
01:28:56,300 --> 01:29:01,000
- Cos I was shouting at you earlier on.
- It's all right.

1215
01:29:01,200 --> 01:29:03,400
I'm sorry too.

1216
01:29:03,600 --> 01:29:05,600
It's OK.

1217
01:29:05,600 --> 01:29:07,300
No...

1218
01:29:07,500 --> 01:29:09,400
I'm sorry, Shaun.

1219
01:29:12,400 --> 01:29:15,500
Oh, God! That's not funny.

1220
01:29:15,700 --> 01:29:20,400
- I'll stop doing 'em when you stop laughing.
- I'm not laughing.

1221
01:29:33,200 --> 01:29:34,900
You'd better be off.

1222
01:29:44,700 --> 01:29:46,900
Bye, Ed. Love you.

1223
01:29:48,000 --> 01:29:49,500
Cheers.

1224
01:29:50,600 --> 01:29:52,600
I love you too, man.

1225
01:29:55,800 --> 01:29:57,800
Gay.

1226
01:30:18,800 --> 01:30:21,100
- Ready?
- Ready.

1227
01:30:30,900 --> 01:30:33,200
Section One. Ready.

1228
01:30:33,400 --> 01:30:35,600
Zombies to your front. Fire!

1229
01:30:39,500 --> 01:30:41,100
Fire!

1230
01:30:55,800 --> 01:30:58,300
Oh, my God! Shaun!

1231
01:30:58,400 --> 01:31:00,100
Yvonne?

1232
01:31:04,900 --> 01:31:08,000
- How are you doing?
- Surviving.

1233
01:31:08,200 --> 01:31:12,700
They're taking us somewhere safe.
I thought you two might want to tag along.

1234
01:31:13,000 --> 01:31:15,200
Is itjust the two of you?

1235
01:31:17,800 --> 01:31:20,600
Well, glad somebody made it.

1236
01:31:22,700 --> 01:31:24,600
Come on.

1237
01:31:37,600 --> 01:31:41,000
'Next, the story of
ten-year-old Enrique Ramírez

1238
01:31:41,100 --> 01:31:44,900
'who fought off the reanimated corpses
of his entire family.

1239
01:31:45,200 --> 01:31:48,500
'Lt's all coming right up on
Zombies From Hell.'

1240
01:31:48,700 --> 01:31:53,600
'Six months on and, to many, the events
of Z-Day must seem like a bad dream.

1241
01:31:53,900 --> 01:31:57,400
'As we now know, the phenomenon
resulted from the use of... '

1242
01:31:57,700 --> 01:32:02,300
'... not something I ever expected as
a newscaster to have to say on air.

1243
01:32:02,600 --> 01:32:05,800
"'Removing the head
or destroying the brain." Incredible.'

1244
01:32:06,000 --> 01:32:11,100
'... to have a top band with us, talking about
their work for the charity Zombaid... '

1245
01:32:11,300 --> 01:32:15,000
'The fact that the mobile deceased
retained their primal instincts

1246
01:32:15,300 --> 01:32:18,800
'make them ideal recruitment
for the service industry,

1247
01:32:19,100 --> 01:32:21,200
'as well as other roles such as... '

1248
01:32:22,600 --> 01:32:27,200
'He can't quite get it.
Ooh! He's fallen, he's down! '

1249
01:32:28,000 --> 01:32:32,400
'I don't see nothing wrong with it
but I know that some people would.

1250
01:32:32,700 --> 01:32:37,000
'But he's my husband, you know.
I still love him and I got the ring.

1251
01:32:37,200 --> 01:32:40,700
- 'You go to bed with it? '
- 'Course I do.'

1252
01:32:41,000 --> 01:32:44,200
'People can't understand
why she's with him? '

1253
01:32:49,200 --> 01:32:54,800
'Lnitial claims that the virus was caused by
infected monkeys have been dismissed... '

1254
01:32:55,000 --> 01:32:57,100
Hello.

1255
01:33:02,500 --> 01:33:04,400
What's the plan, then?

1256
01:33:04,500 --> 01:33:07,400
Right, a cup of tea...

1257
01:33:07,600 --> 01:33:10,200
then we get the Sundays.

1258
01:33:10,400 --> 01:33:12,700
Head down the Phoenix for a roast,

1259
01:33:12,800 --> 01:33:15,400
veg out in the pub for a bit

1260
01:33:15,500 --> 01:33:18,900
then wander home,
watch a bit of telly, go to bed.

1261
01:33:19,100 --> 01:33:21,500
- Perfik.
- I'll get the kettle on.

1262
01:33:21,700 --> 01:33:25,600
- Can I have two sugars, please?
- Ooh! Adventurous.

1263
01:33:25,800 --> 01:33:29,400
- I might pop into the garden for a bit.
- Go on, then.

1264
01:33:30,600 --> 01:33:32,600
Two seconds.

1265
01:33:43,600 --> 01:33:45,900
'Player two has entered the game.'

1266
01:33:47,000 --> 01:33:48,100
Ed!

1267
01:33:56,800 --> 01:33:58,600
Yes!

1268
01:33:59,305 --> 01:34:05,648
Support us and become VIP member 
to remove all ads from www.OpenSubtitles.org