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(THEME MUSlC lN
VlDEOGAME TONE)

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Advertise your product or brand here
contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today

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(NARRATOR READlNG)

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KlM: Scott Pilgrim is
dating a high-schooler?

5
00:00:39,790 --> 00:00:41,666
Really? ls she hot?

6
00:00:41,750 --> 00:00:44,085
How old are you now,
Scott? Like, 28?

7
00:00:44,169 --> 00:00:46,003
l'm not playing your
little games, kids.

8
00:00:46,088 --> 00:00:48,464
So, you've been
out of high school
for, like, 1 3 years.

9
00:00:48,549 --> 00:00:51,217
l'm 22. Twenty-two.

10
00:00:52,845 --> 00:00:55,680
And you're dating
a high-school girl.
Not bad, not bad.

11
00:00:55,889 --> 00:00:57,724
Thank you, thank you.

12
00:00:57,808 --> 00:01:02,186
So, did you guys, like,
you know, do it yet?

13
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We have done many things.

14
00:01:04,690 --> 00:01:06,149
We ride the bus together.

15
00:01:06,442 --> 00:01:10,570
And we have
meaningful conversations
about how yearbook club went

16
00:01:10,654 --> 00:01:13,781
and about her friends
and, you know, drama.

17
00:01:14,199 --> 00:01:15,575
STEPHEN: Have you
even kissed her?

18
00:01:15,659 --> 00:01:18,035
We almost held hands once,
but then she got embarrassed.

19
00:01:18,120 --> 00:01:19,454
Well, aren't you
pleased as punch.

20
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l don't know what
you're talking about.

21
00:01:20,789 --> 00:01:21,831
So, what's her name?

22
00:01:22,583 --> 00:01:24,542
Knives Chau.

23
00:01:25,335 --> 00:01:26,502
She's Chinese.

24
00:01:28,130 --> 00:01:29,338
Wicked.

25
00:01:29,423 --> 00:01:30,590
So, when do we
get to meet her?

26
00:01:30,674 --> 00:01:32,258
Oh, please,
let it be soon.

27
00:01:32,551 --> 00:01:34,177
(DOORBELL RlNGS)
That's for me.

28
00:01:36,930 --> 00:01:38,806
Hi.
You promise to be good?

29
00:01:38,891 --> 00:01:40,099
Of course l'll be good.

30
00:01:40,225 --> 00:01:41,434
Seriously,
please be good.

31
00:01:41,685 --> 00:01:43,102
Am l normally not?

32
00:01:43,687 --> 00:01:46,814
Hey, Knives,
this is Stephen Stills.
He's the talent.

33
00:01:47,566 --> 00:01:49,192
Hey.

34
00:01:49,985 --> 00:01:50,985
ls she gonna
geek out on us?

35
00:01:51,069 --> 00:01:52,195
She'll just sit
in the corner, man.

36
00:01:52,488 --> 00:01:54,322
l mean, l want her
to geek out on us.

37
00:01:54,406 --> 00:01:57,617
She'll geek. She geeks.
She has the capacity to geek.

38
00:01:57,701 --> 00:01:58,868
Okay.

39
00:02:00,204 --> 00:02:01,287
You're good.

40
00:02:05,709 --> 00:02:06,751
Wow.

41
00:02:06,835 --> 00:02:07,877
Here, let me
get your coat.

42
00:02:07,961 --> 00:02:09,170
Hi.

43
00:02:09,254 --> 00:02:10,713
Knives, that's Kim.

44
00:02:11,799 --> 00:02:13,007
Sorry,
what was your name?

45
00:02:13,342 --> 00:02:14,300
Kim.

46
00:02:14,384 --> 00:02:16,010
And you play the drums?

47
00:02:16,720 --> 00:02:17,762
Yes.

48
00:02:17,846 --> 00:02:19,722
That is so awesome.

49
00:02:19,932 --> 00:02:21,557
Knives, that's Young Neil.

50
00:02:21,934 --> 00:02:24,602
Hi.

51
00:02:24,728 --> 00:02:26,479
What do you play?

52
00:02:27,523 --> 00:02:33,236
Wow, Zelda, Tetris.

53
00:02:34,196 --> 00:02:35,863
That's kind of
a big question.

54
00:02:36,782 --> 00:02:39,116
Okay, let's start
with Launchpad McQuack.

55
00:02:39,201 --> 00:02:40,701
That's not
the actual title of the. . .

56
00:02:40,786 --> 00:02:42,537
We are Sex Bob-Omb!

57
00:02:42,621 --> 00:02:44,038
One, two, three, four!

58
00:02:44,164 --> 00:02:45,414
(ROCK MUSlC PLAYlNG)

59
00:02:50,546 --> 00:02:52,380
(SlNGlNG)
Yeah, yeah

60
00:02:53,215 --> 00:02:54,757
Yeah, yeah

61
00:02:55,509 --> 00:02:57,760
Laminate the stasis

62
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Mama, mama serpentine

63
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I got a breathaIyzer

64
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And my body's clean

65
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Yeah! Yeah!

66
00:03:40,637 --> 00:03:42,179
Thank you!

67
00:03:45,267 --> 00:03:46,267
(STEPHEN WHOOPS)

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00:03:47,436 --> 00:03:49,228
(STEPHEN VOCALlZlNG)

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00:04:03,952 --> 00:04:05,494
Get ready

70
00:04:07,539 --> 00:04:08,623
Yeah

71
00:04:24,389 --> 00:04:28,517
Yeah, yeah

72
00:04:33,649 --> 00:04:36,317
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

73
00:04:36,401 --> 00:04:37,777
Yeah!

74
00:04:42,658 --> 00:04:45,910
You guys are so

75
00:04:47,829 --> 00:04:50,122
amazing.

76
00:04:50,207 --> 00:04:51,624
She seems nice.
Yeah.

77
00:04:51,708 --> 00:04:52,833
Yeah, she seems awesome.

78
00:04:53,085 --> 00:04:54,085
Yeah.
(WHlSTLES)

79
00:04:54,169 --> 00:04:56,629
Scott,
if your life had a face,
l would punch it.

80
00:04:56,713 --> 00:04:58,756
Yeah. Wait, what?

81
00:04:58,840 --> 00:05:01,801
l mean, are you really happy
or are you really evil?

82
00:05:02,469 --> 00:05:04,220
Like, do l have
ulterior motives
or something?

83
00:05:04,304 --> 00:05:05,429
l'm offended, Kim.

84
00:05:05,514 --> 00:05:06,722
Wounded, even?

85
00:05:07,265 --> 00:05:08,307
Hurt, Kim.

86
00:05:08,392 --> 00:05:09,850
You? Hurt?

87
00:05:11,103 --> 00:05:13,354
Neil, you were saying
about "she seems awesome."

88
00:05:13,730 --> 00:05:15,106
Yeah, she seems awesome.

89
00:05:15,190 --> 00:05:16,482
Yeah.
(WHlSTLES)

90
00:05:21,822 --> 00:05:23,614
Before you hear
some dirty lies
from someone else,

91
00:05:23,699 --> 00:05:25,241
yes, l'm dating
a 1 7-year-old.

92
00:05:25,659 --> 00:05:26,659
Oh, is he cute?

93
00:05:26,743 --> 00:05:27,785
(LAUGHS SARCASTlCALLY)

94
00:05:28,036 --> 00:05:30,287
Does this mean
we have to stop
sleeping together?

95
00:05:30,372 --> 00:05:32,665
You see another bed in here?

96
00:05:32,874 --> 00:05:35,793
Yeah. You're totally
my bitch forever.

97
00:05:44,636 --> 00:05:47,930
So, the whole
1 7-year-old thing,
don't tell too many people.

98
00:05:48,015 --> 00:05:49,724
Hey, you know me.

99
00:05:49,808 --> 00:05:51,017
l mean, don't tell my sister.

100
00:05:52,853 --> 00:05:53,978
You know me.

101
00:05:54,104 --> 00:05:55,271
Who are you texting?

102
00:05:55,355 --> 00:05:56,355
(PHONE RlNGlNG)

103
00:05:57,941 --> 00:05:59,817
Seventeen years old?
Scandal !

104
00:05:59,901 --> 00:06:01,610
That's not true.
Who told you?

105
00:06:01,695 --> 00:06:02,695
Wallace. Duh.

106
00:06:02,779 --> 00:06:04,071
That gossipy bitch.

107
00:06:04,448 --> 00:06:05,489
You know me.

108
00:06:05,574 --> 00:06:06,574
Wallace!

109
00:06:07,117 --> 00:06:08,701
Who is this
mystery child you date?

110
00:06:08,785 --> 00:06:10,995
Her name's Knives Chau.
She's Chinese.

111
00:06:11,705 --> 00:06:16,250
A 1 7-year-old
Chinese schoolgirl?
You're ridiculous.

112
00:06:16,334 --> 00:06:17,877
lt's a Catholic school, too.

113
00:06:17,961 --> 00:06:19,253
With the uniform
and everything?

114
00:06:19,421 --> 00:06:20,713
Yeah. The whole deal.

115
00:06:21,840 --> 00:06:23,340
Oh, my God.
You guys haven't. . .

116
00:06:23,425 --> 00:06:26,177
No, no, no, no.
We haven't even
held hands yet.

117
00:06:26,261 --> 00:06:28,262
l think she hugged me once.

118
00:06:28,346 --> 00:06:30,389
Scott,
why are you doing this?

119
00:06:30,474 --> 00:06:34,143
l don't know.
lt's just nice, you know?
lt's just simple.

120
00:06:34,227 --> 00:06:35,644
lt's been over a year
since you got dumped

121
00:06:35,729 --> 00:06:37,980
by She-Who-Will-Not-Be-Named.
So. . .

122
00:06:39,524 --> 00:06:40,733
Are you
legitimately moving on

123
00:06:40,817 --> 00:06:42,526
or is this just
you being insane?

124
00:06:42,944 --> 00:06:44,570
Can l get back
to you on that?

125
00:06:44,780 --> 00:06:46,572
(SCHOOL BELL RlNGlNG)

126
00:06:47,616 --> 00:06:49,575
l do not wanna
be here at all.

127
00:06:50,118 --> 00:06:51,660
This school
has boys, too.

128
00:06:52,162 --> 00:06:56,248
l hate you.
Even l would think twice
about dating a 1 7-year-old.

129
00:06:56,333 --> 00:06:57,541
Well, she's only
allowed out

130
00:06:57,626 --> 00:06:59,668
when the sun is up,
so l wouldn't call it dating.

131
00:07:00,212 --> 00:07:02,046
lt's more like. . .
Playtime?

132
00:07:02,130 --> 00:07:03,798
That doesn't sound
so good, either.
No.

133
00:07:03,882 --> 00:07:05,049
KNlVES: Scott!

134
00:07:05,467 --> 00:07:06,467
SCOTT: Hey, Knives.

135
00:07:06,551 --> 00:07:08,636
This is my cool,
gay roommate,
Wallace Wells.

136
00:07:08,720 --> 00:07:09,887
Hi.
He's gay.

137
00:07:10,180 --> 00:07:12,640
Oh, do you wanna know
who in my class is gay?

138
00:07:12,724 --> 00:07:14,225
Yes, does he wear glasses?

139
00:07:14,309 --> 00:07:16,560
Wallace, you go now. Begone.

140
00:07:19,064 --> 00:07:21,649
You're too good
for him. Run.

141
00:07:22,901 --> 00:07:24,068
(CHUCKLES)

142
00:07:24,402 --> 00:07:26,028
ANNOUNCER: Get ready!

143
00:07:26,696 --> 00:07:27,738
Here we go!

144
00:07:32,661 --> 00:07:35,287
Did you know that
the original name
for Pac-Man was Puck-Man?

145
00:07:35,789 --> 00:07:37,581
You'd think it was because
he looks like a hockey puck,

146
00:07:37,666 --> 00:07:40,084
but it actually comes
from the Japanese
phrase "paku-paku,"

147
00:07:40,168 --> 00:07:41,919
which means,
"to flap one's mouth
open and closed."

148
00:07:43,672 --> 00:07:44,755
They changed it
because they thought that

149
00:07:44,840 --> 00:07:46,590
"Puck-Man" would be
too easy to vandalize.

150
00:07:46,675 --> 00:07:47,758
You know,
people could just scratch off

151
00:07:47,843 --> 00:07:49,510
the "P" and turn it
into an "F" or whatever.

152
00:07:50,095 --> 00:07:53,180
Oh, my God ! Like, wow!

153
00:07:53,306 --> 00:07:54,557
ELECTRONlC VOlCE: Combo!

154
00:07:58,186 --> 00:07:59,186
Yeah. Wow.

155
00:07:59,271 --> 00:08:00,312
Continue?

156
00:08:00,397 --> 00:08:05,776
Nine, eight, seven,
six, five, four,

157
00:08:05,861 --> 00:08:07,153
three...
Oh, l got it.

158
00:08:07,237 --> 00:08:08,487
...two, one.

159
00:08:08,864 --> 00:08:10,531
(lNAUDlBLE)

160
00:08:12,325 --> 00:08:14,326
KNlVES: l don't listen
to that much music.

161
00:08:14,411 --> 00:08:17,538
l mean, l know a lot
of kids who play piano
or whatever, but you guys. . .

162
00:08:18,290 --> 00:08:20,207
You guys rock.

163
00:08:20,292 --> 00:08:21,792
Well, l knew
l personally rocked,

164
00:08:21,877 --> 00:08:24,461
but l never suspected
that we rocked as a unit.

165
00:08:24,546 --> 00:08:25,713
So, thank you, Knives.

166
00:08:25,797 --> 00:08:28,048
l mean, you guys
are gonna be huge.

167
00:08:28,508 --> 00:08:29,884
Well, we're already
pretty big,

168
00:08:29,968 --> 00:08:31,468
but, yeah, l guess
it'd be cool

169
00:08:31,553 --> 00:08:33,804
if cool people
started wearing
our T-shirt or whatever.

170
00:08:33,889 --> 00:08:35,598
Cool.
Yeah, yeah.

171
00:08:35,682 --> 00:08:38,976
Excuse me,
do you have anything by
The Clash at Demonhead?

172
00:08:39,060 --> 00:08:42,479
Have you tried
the section marked
"The Clash at Demonhead"?

173
00:08:42,564 --> 00:08:44,064
Thank you, Julie.

174
00:08:44,191 --> 00:08:45,649
Are you coming
to my party Friday,

175
00:08:45,734 --> 00:08:48,611
or will you be
busy babysitting?

176
00:08:49,196 --> 00:08:51,363
Thank you, Julie.

177
00:08:51,448 --> 00:08:53,032
You don't want
to listen to her.

178
00:08:53,533 --> 00:08:55,868
And you definitely don't
want to listen to them.

179
00:08:55,952 --> 00:08:57,661
Oh, l heart them so much.

180
00:08:57,746 --> 00:09:01,248
Yeah, l hearted them, too,
until they signed
to a major label,

181
00:09:01,333 --> 00:09:05,044
and the lead singer
turned into a total bitch
and ruined my life forever.

182
00:09:05,128 --> 00:09:06,670
But that's just me.

183
00:09:06,755 --> 00:09:10,174
Envy Adams is so cool.
Do you read her blog?

184
00:09:10,258 --> 00:09:11,800
Sorry, you were
saying about me?

185
00:09:11,885 --> 00:09:14,803
l mean,
l've never gone out
with anyone so talented.

186
00:09:15,055 --> 00:09:16,180
Go out with
a lot of guys?

187
00:09:16,264 --> 00:09:17,264
No.

188
00:09:17,474 --> 00:09:19,683
Yeah, so, whatever, man.

189
00:09:19,768 --> 00:09:21,602
l've never even
kissed a guy.

190
00:09:25,440 --> 00:09:26,649
Hey,

191
00:09:27,442 --> 00:09:28,692
me, neither.

192
00:09:40,497 --> 00:09:42,331
Here you go.

193
00:09:42,415 --> 00:09:43,749
So, this is
your secret lair?

194
00:09:43,833 --> 00:09:45,584
Yeah, yeah.
Can l come in?

195
00:09:46,086 --> 00:09:48,629
My secret lair
is one of those

196
00:09:48,713 --> 00:09:50,464
"No girls allowed"-type
deals.

197
00:09:50,715 --> 00:09:51,799
Okay.

198
00:09:51,883 --> 00:09:53,384
But do you wanna
see the house
where l grew up?

199
00:09:53,468 --> 00:09:55,052
Sure!
Come on.

200
00:09:57,305 --> 00:09:58,305
There you go.

201
00:09:59,808 --> 00:10:01,141
Wow.

202
00:10:01,476 --> 00:10:02,476
Yeah.

203
00:10:03,520 --> 00:10:04,812
Wow.

204
00:10:12,362 --> 00:10:13,821
Oh, God.

205
00:10:16,491 --> 00:10:18,117
So alone.

206
00:10:19,786 --> 00:10:21,161
You're not alone.

207
00:10:21,371 --> 00:10:22,621
What?

208
00:10:22,706 --> 00:10:25,457
You're just having
some idiotic dream.

209
00:10:26,459 --> 00:10:28,085
Does that mean
we can make out?

210
00:10:28,169 --> 00:10:29,962
Oh, God !

211
00:10:30,046 --> 00:10:31,088
What is it, Scott?

212
00:10:31,172 --> 00:10:32,298
l had this
totally weird dream.

213
00:10:32,382 --> 00:10:33,590
Oh, God.

214
00:10:33,675 --> 00:10:34,925
What is it,
Other Scott?

215
00:10:35,051 --> 00:10:38,304
Can we skip the dreamtime?
Color me not interested.

216
00:10:38,388 --> 00:10:39,680
But there was this girl.

217
00:10:39,806 --> 00:10:41,056
Girl?

218
00:10:41,141 --> 00:10:42,599
Was this
an Envy-related dream?

219
00:10:42,684 --> 00:10:44,268
We don't use
the E-word in this house.

220
00:10:44,352 --> 00:10:47,438
No, it wasn't her.
lt was somebody new.

221
00:10:47,522 --> 00:10:49,481
Yay for that.

222
00:10:49,566 --> 00:10:50,774
Speaking of new,

223
00:10:50,859 --> 00:10:52,735
weren't you supposed
to take your fake
high-school girlfriend

224
00:10:52,819 --> 00:10:54,403
to the library
a half-hour ago?

225
00:10:54,738 --> 00:10:56,989
What? lt's like 6:00
in the morning.

226
00:10:57,615 --> 00:10:58,741
(SCREAMS)

227
00:11:00,160 --> 00:11:01,160
MAN: Shh !

228
00:11:01,536 --> 00:11:02,828
lt's weird.

229
00:11:02,912 --> 00:11:04,455
What's weird?

230
00:11:04,539 --> 00:11:07,291
Libraries remind me
of grade school.

231
00:11:07,375 --> 00:11:09,793
That must seem like
a really long time ago.

232
00:11:09,878 --> 00:11:12,546
Yeah, let's talk
about something else.

233
00:11:31,816 --> 00:11:33,108
Do you know that girl?

234
00:11:34,694 --> 00:11:36,111
Scott!
What?

235
00:11:36,571 --> 00:11:38,989
You only played one note
for that entire song.

236
00:11:39,991 --> 00:11:41,075
My hand slipped.

237
00:11:41,159 --> 00:11:42,910
ls your girlfriend
distracting you?

238
00:11:43,036 --> 00:11:44,745
My girlfriend?

239
00:11:44,829 --> 00:11:46,163
l'll be quieter.

240
00:11:47,290 --> 00:11:48,540
Let's do that one again.

241
00:11:48,666 --> 00:11:49,875
Sorry, what are we doing?

242
00:11:49,959 --> 00:11:51,293
l told you, like, 50 times!

243
00:11:51,378 --> 00:11:53,170
We're going
to this party, retard.

244
00:11:53,254 --> 00:11:55,422
Party?
At Julie's.

245
00:11:55,507 --> 00:11:56,507
l thought
you guys split up.

246
00:11:56,591 --> 00:11:59,051
We did, but there might be
some label guys there,
so, you know. . .

247
00:11:59,135 --> 00:12:01,011
Oh, man,
this is gonna suck.
Suck!

248
00:12:01,096 --> 00:12:03,263
At least it'll
give us something
to complain about.

249
00:12:03,348 --> 00:12:04,431
Oh, man !

250
00:12:04,516 --> 00:12:05,641
This sucks!

251
00:12:05,725 --> 00:12:06,809
Sucks!

252
00:12:06,893 --> 00:12:09,937
l'm gonna go pee
due to boredom.

253
00:12:11,022 --> 00:12:12,481
l have to pee.

254
00:12:12,565 --> 00:12:14,149
You know, so l told him
you've got
a really good sound,

255
00:12:14,234 --> 00:12:15,692
and l think that
you should market
your sound

256
00:12:15,777 --> 00:12:18,237
to deaf people,
because. . .
Scott! Hey!

257
00:12:18,321 --> 00:12:19,321
Hey, Comeau.

258
00:12:19,406 --> 00:12:21,198
How about this party?
You getting
your drink on here?

259
00:12:21,282 --> 00:12:23,117
No, l don't drink.
This is just Coke Zero.

260
00:12:23,201 --> 00:12:24,493
What do you mean,
you don't drink?

261
00:12:24,577 --> 00:12:26,912
l distinctly remember
you being very drunk off
a couple of G-and-T's. . .

262
00:12:26,996 --> 00:12:28,372
Hey, Comeau,
you know everyone, right?

263
00:12:28,456 --> 00:12:30,499
Yeah, pretty much, l do.

264
00:12:30,792 --> 00:12:32,251
You know this one girl
with hair like this?

265
00:12:32,335 --> 00:12:33,752
Yes, that's Ramona Flowers.

266
00:12:33,837 --> 00:12:35,838
Somebody said
she was gonna be
here tonight, actually.

267
00:12:35,922 --> 00:12:37,214
What?
Oh, Scott.

268
00:12:37,298 --> 00:12:39,383
You have the hots
for her or something?
l gotta tell you though,

269
00:12:39,467 --> 00:12:40,926
l hear that she's
a little hardcore.

270
00:13:03,783 --> 00:13:04,783
(ALL CHATTERlNG)

271
00:13:22,677 --> 00:13:23,969
Hey, what's up?

272
00:13:24,387 --> 00:13:25,387
Nothing.

273
00:13:25,472 --> 00:13:26,763
Hey, you know Pac-Man?

274
00:13:26,848 --> 00:13:28,348
l know of him.

275
00:13:28,641 --> 00:13:32,019
Well, Pac-Man
was originally
called Puck-Man.

276
00:13:32,937 --> 00:13:34,605
They changed it because. . .

277
00:13:34,689 --> 00:13:36,773
Not because Pac-Man looks
like a hockey puck.

278
00:13:36,858 --> 00:13:39,276
"Paku-paku" means
"flap your mouth,"

279
00:13:39,360 --> 00:13:41,945
and that they were afraid
people would change. . .

280
00:13:42,030 --> 00:13:45,824
Scratch out the "P"
and turn it into an "F,"
like. . .

281
00:13:46,409 --> 00:13:47,784
(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)

282
00:13:48,036 --> 00:13:49,703
Yeah, that's amazing.

283
00:13:50,246 --> 00:13:51,246
Um. . .

284
00:13:52,457 --> 00:13:53,624
Am l dreaming?

285
00:13:56,211 --> 00:13:57,669
l'll leave you alone
forever now.

286
00:13:57,754 --> 00:13:58,837
Thanks.

287
00:14:06,346 --> 00:14:07,346
Dude!
What?

288
00:14:07,430 --> 00:14:08,680
She's totally real !
Who?

289
00:14:08,765 --> 00:14:10,307
Ramona Flowers.
What?

290
00:14:10,391 --> 00:14:12,476
Dude! What do you know
about Ramona Flowers?

291
00:14:12,560 --> 00:14:14,186
All l know is
that she is American.

292
00:14:14,270 --> 00:14:15,312
American.

293
00:14:15,396 --> 00:14:16,813
Why don't you go talk
to Sandra and Monique?

294
00:14:16,898 --> 00:14:17,981
They know a lot more.

295
00:14:18,066 --> 00:14:20,150
Lady-dudes.
What do you know
about Ramona Flowers?

296
00:14:20,235 --> 00:14:21,527
l heard she has
a boyfriend.

297
00:14:21,611 --> 00:14:23,028
Yeah. Some guy
back in New York.

298
00:14:23,238 --> 00:14:24,821
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
What else?

299
00:14:24,906 --> 00:14:27,324
l heard she kicks
all kinds of ass.

300
00:14:27,408 --> 00:14:29,910
She's on another level.

301
00:14:29,994 --> 00:14:31,870
She has men
dying at her feet.

302
00:14:31,955 --> 00:14:34,581
She's got some
battle scars, dude.

303
00:14:34,707 --> 00:14:36,166
What about Ramona Flowers?

304
00:14:36,251 --> 00:14:37,251
You know her?
Tell me now.

305
00:14:37,335 --> 00:14:38,335
She just moved here.

306
00:14:38,419 --> 00:14:39,962
Got a job at Amazon.
Comes into my work.

307
00:14:40,046 --> 00:14:41,004
Does she really?

308
00:14:41,089 --> 00:14:42,756
Didn't you say
she just broke up
with someone?

309
00:14:42,840 --> 00:14:43,882
Did she really?

310
00:14:43,967 --> 00:14:45,217
They had a huge fight,
or whatever.

311
00:14:45,301 --> 00:14:46,301
Did they really?

312
00:14:46,386 --> 00:14:48,762
Yes! But l didn't want Scott
to know that, Stephen.

313
00:14:48,846 --> 00:14:50,806
Yeah, l don't know
what it is
about that girl.

314
00:14:50,890 --> 00:14:53,058
Scott, l forbid you
from hitting on Ramona,

315
00:14:53,142 --> 00:14:55,435
even if you haven't
had a real girlfriend
in over a year.

316
00:14:55,520 --> 00:14:56,520
(EXHALES SHARPLY)

317
00:14:56,604 --> 00:14:59,940
Hey! Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Scott's mourning period
is officially over.

318
00:15:00,024 --> 00:15:01,608
He's totally dating
a high-schooler.

319
00:15:01,693 --> 00:15:03,652
Dating a high-schooler
is the mourning period.

320
00:15:03,736 --> 00:15:04,861
She's got a point.

321
00:15:04,946 --> 00:15:06,029
l thought
you guys broke up.

322
00:15:06,114 --> 00:15:08,865
l don't want you scaring off
the coolest girl
at my party, Scott.

323
00:15:08,950 --> 00:15:11,535
We all know
you're a total lady-killer
wannabe, jerky-jerk.

324
00:15:11,619 --> 00:15:13,036
That's completely untrue.

325
00:15:13,121 --> 00:15:14,871
That time with Lisa?
That was a misunderstanding.

326
00:15:14,998 --> 00:15:16,915
That time with Hollie?
That wasn't what
it looked like.

327
00:15:17,000 --> 00:15:18,041
That time you
dumped Kim for. . .

328
00:15:18,126 --> 00:15:19,918
Okay. Me and Kim are
all good now, all right?

329
00:15:21,671 --> 00:15:24,715
Whatever!
Ramona's out of your league.
Let's just leave it at that.

330
00:15:24,799 --> 00:15:27,092
Besides, l'm not even sure
she did have a big breakup.

331
00:15:27,176 --> 00:15:29,344
She keeps mentioning
some guy named Gideon.

332
00:15:29,429 --> 00:15:30,887
Yeah, l don't know
what it is
about that girl.

333
00:15:31,055 --> 00:15:32,306
Forget it, Scott!

334
00:15:32,473 --> 00:15:33,557
(ALL EXCLAlM)

335
00:15:35,977 --> 00:15:37,686
Guess who's drunk?

336
00:15:38,313 --> 00:15:39,980
l guess Wallace.

337
00:15:40,815 --> 00:15:41,857
You guess right.

338
00:15:45,528 --> 00:15:46,903
So, that girl
from my dream. . .

339
00:15:46,988 --> 00:15:48,238
Girl. Okay.

340
00:15:48,323 --> 00:15:49,740
l saw her at the library.

341
00:15:49,824 --> 00:15:52,451
Library. Can l pretend
we're talking about a guy?

342
00:15:52,535 --> 00:15:55,412
And then l'm at this party
and, hey, there she is.

343
00:15:55,496 --> 00:15:56,747
Hey, there he is.

344
00:15:56,831 --> 00:15:57,789
l think she's. . .

345
00:15:57,874 --> 00:15:58,915
l think he's. . .

346
00:15:59,000 --> 00:16:01,126
l think she's
the girl of my dreams.

347
00:16:01,210 --> 00:16:02,210
Mmm.

348
00:16:02,378 --> 00:16:04,671
Then you should break up
with your fake
high-school girlfriend.

349
00:16:04,756 --> 00:16:06,465
l've never been
so sure about something.

350
00:16:06,549 --> 00:16:09,051
Then you should break up
with your fake
high-school girlfriend.

351
00:16:09,385 --> 00:16:10,427
What's that?

352
00:16:10,511 --> 00:16:13,430
You should break up
with your fake
high-school girlfriend.

353
00:16:13,514 --> 00:16:14,848
l'm not getting it, friend.

354
00:16:14,932 --> 00:16:15,932
(PHONE RlNGlNG)

355
00:16:16,643 --> 00:16:17,851
You're thinking of
juggling two chicks?

356
00:16:17,935 --> 00:16:18,977
Not even !

357
00:16:19,062 --> 00:16:21,396
Well, you should break up
with your fake
high-school girlfriend.

358
00:16:21,481 --> 00:16:22,522
Wait, who told you?

359
00:16:22,607 --> 00:16:23,899
Wallace. Duh !

360
00:16:23,983 --> 00:16:25,692
He's not even conscious.
Whatever.

361
00:16:25,777 --> 00:16:28,695
You of all people should
know how sucky it is to
get cheated on.

362
00:16:28,780 --> 00:16:29,946
Don't you have
a job to do?

363
00:16:30,031 --> 00:16:32,783
You're right.
l should send out a mass
text about this. Bye.

364
00:16:35,203 --> 00:16:36,203
(SNORlNG)

365
00:16:36,287 --> 00:16:37,954
Wallace,
how do you do that?

366
00:16:38,039 --> 00:16:39,331
SCOTT: Wallace!

367
00:16:40,208 --> 00:16:42,250
Amazon.ca,
what's the website for that?

368
00:16:42,669 --> 00:16:44,795
"Amazon.ca."

369
00:16:44,879 --> 00:16:47,130
l have to order
something really cool.

370
00:16:47,215 --> 00:16:48,882
ELECTRONlC VOlCE:
You've got mail.

371
00:16:48,966 --> 00:16:50,384
Dude, this thing
claims l have mail.

372
00:16:50,677 --> 00:16:52,928
lt's amazing what we can do
with computers these days.

373
00:16:53,221 --> 00:16:54,471
Dude, now l'm reading it.

374
00:16:54,555 --> 00:16:55,889
So happy for you.

375
00:16:56,557 --> 00:16:58,517
"Dear Mr. Pilgrim,
it has come
to my attention

376
00:16:58,601 --> 00:16:59,935
"that we will be
fighting soon.

377
00:17:00,019 --> 00:17:03,063
"My name is
Matthew Patel, and. . ."
Blah, blah, blah. . .

378
00:17:03,731 --> 00:17:08,276
"Fair warning. . .
Mano y mano... Seven evil. . ."
Blah, blah.

379
00:17:08,986 --> 00:17:14,157
This is. . .
This is. . . This is. . .

380
00:17:14,409 --> 00:17:15,575
What?

381
00:17:15,660 --> 00:17:17,577
This is boring.

382
00:17:17,995 --> 00:17:19,621
Delete.

383
00:17:23,584 --> 00:17:24,584
Scott,

384
00:17:25,545 --> 00:17:28,046
are you waiting
for the package
you just ordered?

385
00:17:28,506 --> 00:17:29,715
Maybe.

386
00:17:29,799 --> 00:17:32,843
lt's the weekend.
lt won't ship until
Monday at the earliest.

387
00:17:32,927 --> 00:17:34,386
(DOORBELL RlNGS)
You were saying?

388
00:17:35,513 --> 00:17:36,555
Attack hug !
Hey!

389
00:17:36,639 --> 00:17:39,683
Attack hug.
That's so cute.
So cute.

390
00:17:39,767 --> 00:17:40,767
You don't remember?

391
00:17:40,852 --> 00:17:43,437
You're supposed to
meet me at the bus stop
a half-hour ago.

392
00:17:43,938 --> 00:17:45,188
How could l
possibly forget?

393
00:17:47,859 --> 00:17:49,651
Yearbook club
is so boring.

394
00:17:49,736 --> 00:17:51,987
l cannot believe the music
they put on while we work.

395
00:17:52,071 --> 00:17:53,071
That's sucky.

396
00:17:53,156 --> 00:17:56,324
Hannah broke up with Alan
and now she's all into Derek.

397
00:17:56,409 --> 00:17:58,702
But then Tamara claims
she has dibs on Derek.

398
00:17:58,786 --> 00:17:59,786
l tell you.

399
00:18:01,497 --> 00:18:02,581
ELECTRONlC VOlCE: Bad!

400
00:18:03,332 --> 00:18:10,297
Bad!

401
00:18:10,381 --> 00:18:12,591
Okay. l'm sorry,
that was all me.

402
00:18:12,717 --> 00:18:13,967
Solo round!

403
00:18:14,844 --> 00:18:15,844
Uh-oh.

404
00:18:16,304 --> 00:18:17,429
Nega ninja.

405
00:18:17,513 --> 00:18:19,014
Nega ninja!

406
00:18:19,348 --> 00:18:20,432
l can never get
past that guy.

407
00:18:21,934 --> 00:18:23,477
Don't beat
yourself up about it.

408
00:18:23,561 --> 00:18:24,728
Game over!

409
00:18:24,812 --> 00:18:27,105
Do you want
to keep going?

410
00:18:27,190 --> 00:18:29,566
Continue? Nine, eight,

411
00:18:29,650 --> 00:18:32,736
seven, six, five...
l think. . .

412
00:18:32,820 --> 00:18:33,862
...four, three...

413
00:18:33,946 --> 00:18:35,238
l think that we should. . .

414
00:18:35,323 --> 00:18:37,282
...two, one.

415
00:18:44,707 --> 00:18:47,083
Game on, everybody.
Game on.

416
00:18:47,335 --> 00:18:48,460
l got us a show.

417
00:18:48,544 --> 00:18:49,836
Oh, my gosh, when?

418
00:18:49,962 --> 00:18:51,213
Wednesday.

419
00:18:51,297 --> 00:18:53,924
The Rockit.
And even better,
it's the T. l. B. B.

420
00:18:54,008 --> 00:18:55,008
Whoa!

421
00:18:55,092 --> 00:18:56,593
The Toronto
lnternational Battle
of the Bands?

422
00:18:56,677 --> 00:18:57,677
That's right.

423
00:18:57,762 --> 00:19:00,305
This guy at work was like,
"Steve, you know
anybody in a band?"

424
00:19:00,389 --> 00:19:02,098
And l was like,
"l'm in a band."

425
00:19:02,183 --> 00:19:03,850
And he was like,
"You're in a band?"

426
00:19:03,935 --> 00:19:06,269
And l was like, "Yeah,
l am totally in a band."

427
00:19:06,354 --> 00:19:07,437
Great story, man.

428
00:19:07,522 --> 00:19:08,855
ls there a prize
or something?

429
00:19:09,190 --> 00:19:11,358
Only a record deal
with G-Man Graves.

430
00:19:12,068 --> 00:19:13,902
Who's that?
You don't know?

431
00:19:13,986 --> 00:19:15,779
lndie producer
of the millennium.

432
00:19:16,030 --> 00:19:17,030
Oh. (CHUCKLES)

433
00:19:17,156 --> 00:19:21,868
lf we win, it won't
just be Knives wearing
Sex Bob-Omb shirts.

434
00:19:21,953 --> 00:19:24,538
lt'll be the cool kids, too.

435
00:19:24,622 --> 00:19:25,622
l promise

436
00:19:25,706 --> 00:19:29,501
l will do everything l can
to get out of
the study group and come.

437
00:19:30,378 --> 00:19:32,128
l have to pee.

438
00:19:32,213 --> 00:19:33,797
Oh, my gosh,
who are you battling?

439
00:19:34,382 --> 00:19:35,549
STEPHEN:
Crash and the Boys.

440
00:19:35,633 --> 00:19:38,343
NElL: That one band
with Crash, and those boys?

441
00:19:38,427 --> 00:19:39,594
KlM: Yeah, that's the one.

442
00:19:39,679 --> 00:19:40,804
NElL: l hate them.

443
00:19:40,888 --> 00:19:42,180
KNlVES: Oh, my gosh,
l hate them, too.

444
00:19:42,265 --> 00:19:43,306
STEPHEN: Yeah, they suck.

445
00:19:43,391 --> 00:19:44,391
NElL: They suck bad.

446
00:19:48,354 --> 00:19:49,479
(URlNATlNG)

447
00:19:50,898 --> 00:19:52,023
(TOlLET FLUSHES)

448
00:20:11,460 --> 00:20:23,346
Hey!

449
00:20:26,976 --> 00:20:27,976
(DOORBELL RlNGS)

450
00:20:28,144 --> 00:20:29,561
Uh, Scott Pilgrim?

451
00:20:29,645 --> 00:20:31,271
Hi, l was thinking
about asking you out,

452
00:20:31,355 --> 00:20:33,106
but then l realized
how stupid that would be.

453
00:20:33,399 --> 00:20:34,733
So, do you want
to go out sometime?

454
00:20:35,526 --> 00:20:37,861
No, that's okay.
You can just sign
for this, all right?

455
00:20:37,945 --> 00:20:39,905
l just woke up,
and you were
in my dream.

456
00:20:39,989 --> 00:20:42,824
l dreamt that
you were delivering me
this package. ls that weird?

457
00:20:43,075 --> 00:20:44,159
lt's not weird at all.

458
00:20:44,243 --> 00:20:45,243
lt's not?

459
00:20:45,328 --> 00:20:46,620
No, it's just that
you have this
really convenient

460
00:20:46,704 --> 00:20:48,705
subspace highway
running through your head
that l like to use.

461
00:20:48,789 --> 00:20:50,332
lt's, like,
three miles in 1 5 seconds.

462
00:20:50,416 --> 00:20:51,374
Right, right.

463
00:20:51,459 --> 00:20:53,251
l forgot you guys
don't have that in Canada.

464
00:20:53,544 --> 00:20:54,544
You don't
remember me, do you?

465
00:20:54,629 --> 00:20:55,754
We met at the party
the other day.

466
00:20:56,005 --> 00:20:57,797
Were you the Pac-Man guy?
No.

467
00:20:57,882 --> 00:20:59,883
Not even.
That was some total ass.

468
00:21:00,092 --> 00:21:01,551
l was the other guy.

469
00:21:01,636 --> 00:21:03,887
You know,
you need to sign for this,
whatever this is.

470
00:21:03,971 --> 00:21:05,096
But if l sign for it,
you'll leave.

471
00:21:05,181 --> 00:21:06,306
Yeah, it's how it works.

472
00:21:06,390 --> 00:21:08,308
Okay, well, maybe,

473
00:21:08,392 --> 00:21:11,186
do you wanna
hang out sometime?
Get to know each other?

474
00:21:11,270 --> 00:21:13,229
You're the new kid
on the block, right?

475
00:21:13,314 --> 00:21:18,526
l've lived here forever,
so there are reasons
for you to hang out with me.

476
00:21:20,029 --> 00:21:21,488
You want me to
hang out with you?

477
00:21:23,115 --> 00:21:24,658
Yeah, if that's cool.

478
00:21:25,117 --> 00:21:27,994
lf l say yes, will you sign
for your damn package?

479
00:21:29,497 --> 00:21:30,872
So, yeah, 8:00?

480
00:21:34,335 --> 00:21:36,002
Why are you just
standing there?

481
00:21:36,212 --> 00:21:38,129
Dude, l'm totally
waiting on you.

482
00:21:38,214 --> 00:21:40,715
l'm sorry, l just assumed
you were too cool
to be here on time.

483
00:21:40,800 --> 00:21:42,634
Oh, you assumed wrong.

484
00:21:43,803 --> 00:21:46,012
So, how did you
end up in Toronto?

485
00:21:46,097 --> 00:21:47,430
Just needed
to escape, l guess.

486
00:21:47,556 --> 00:21:48,890
Yeah.

487
00:21:48,975 --> 00:21:50,600
l got this job here,
and Gideon had always said

488
00:21:50,685 --> 00:21:53,144
Toronto was one of
the great cities, so. . .

489
00:21:53,229 --> 00:21:55,271
ls Gideon your boyfriend?

490
00:21:55,606 --> 00:21:58,358
He's a friend.

491
00:21:59,402 --> 00:22:01,111
Was he your boyfriend?

492
00:22:01,445 --> 00:22:03,613
Do you mind
if l don't get
into that right now?

493
00:22:03,698 --> 00:22:06,074
lt's so not
interesting to me.

494
00:22:06,534 --> 00:22:08,910
So, what about you?
What do you do?

495
00:22:08,995 --> 00:22:11,037
l'm in between jobs
at the moment.

496
00:22:11,163 --> 00:22:13,164
Between what and what?

497
00:22:13,249 --> 00:22:18,378
Well, my last job
was a long story
filled with sighs.

498
00:22:18,754 --> 00:22:20,547
l know plenty of those.

499
00:22:20,631 --> 00:22:21,881
ls that why you
left New York?

500
00:22:21,966 --> 00:22:23,550
Pretty much.

501
00:22:23,634 --> 00:22:25,677
lt was just time
to head somewhere
a little more chilled.

502
00:22:26,220 --> 00:22:27,846
Well, it's certainly
chilled here.

503
00:22:27,930 --> 00:22:29,139
Yeah.

504
00:22:29,223 --> 00:22:31,558
lt's chilled, as in cold.

505
00:22:31,809 --> 00:22:33,059
Yeah.

506
00:22:35,521 --> 00:22:38,523
This is ridiculous.
lsn't it, like, April?

507
00:22:38,607 --> 00:22:39,691
l know.

508
00:22:39,775 --> 00:22:41,735
l can barely see you.

509
00:22:41,819 --> 00:22:44,487
This whole thing is
an unmitigated disaster.

510
00:22:44,572 --> 00:22:48,408
l think act of God is
a pretty decent excuse
for a lousy date.

511
00:22:48,492 --> 00:22:50,368
So this is a date, eh?

512
00:22:50,494 --> 00:22:52,412
Did l say date?

513
00:22:52,913 --> 00:22:54,372
Slip of the tongue.

514
00:22:54,457 --> 00:22:55,999
Tongue.

515
00:22:56,083 --> 00:22:58,668
Anyway,
night's not over yet.

516
00:22:58,753 --> 00:23:00,670
l think there's a thingy
over here, somewhere.

517
00:23:00,755 --> 00:23:01,755
A thingy?

518
00:23:02,757 --> 00:23:04,466
A door.

519
00:23:07,762 --> 00:23:09,012
Come on.

520
00:23:24,695 --> 00:23:25,945
What kind of tea
do you want?

521
00:23:26,280 --> 00:23:27,530
There's more
than one kind?

522
00:23:28,783 --> 00:23:31,284
We have blueberry,
raspberry, ginseng,
Sleepytime,

523
00:23:31,368 --> 00:23:32,494
green tea,
green tea with lemon,

524
00:23:32,578 --> 00:23:34,079
green tea with
lemon and honey,
liver disaster,

525
00:23:34,163 --> 00:23:35,497
ginger with honey,
ginger without honey,

526
00:23:35,581 --> 00:23:37,540
vanilla-almond,
white truffle,
blueberry-chamomile,

527
00:23:37,625 --> 00:23:39,918
vanilla-walnut,
Constant Comment

528
00:23:40,252 --> 00:23:41,544
and Earl Grey.

529
00:23:41,962 --> 00:23:43,421
Did you make
some of those up?

530
00:23:44,006 --> 00:23:45,924
l think l'll have
Sleepytime.

531
00:23:46,175 --> 00:23:47,592
That sounds good to me.

532
00:23:49,762 --> 00:23:50,887
Let me get you a blanket.

533
00:23:51,263 --> 00:23:54,140
That would
actually be awesome.

534
00:24:03,692 --> 00:24:04,692
(GASPS)

535
00:24:04,819 --> 00:24:05,985
Dude, l'm changing.

536
00:24:06,612 --> 00:24:08,822
Sorry. l'm just cold.

537
00:24:08,906 --> 00:24:10,949
Here, does that help?

538
00:24:11,033 --> 00:24:13,701
Yeah, that's very warm.
What is that?

539
00:24:14,578 --> 00:24:16,496
Okay.

540
00:24:32,304 --> 00:24:35,682
Were you just gonna
bring the blanket
from your bed?

541
00:24:35,766 --> 00:24:37,016
l guess.

542
00:24:37,101 --> 00:24:41,688
Maybe we should
both get under it,
since we're so cold.

543
00:24:43,023 --> 00:24:45,024
What about our tea?

544
00:24:46,861 --> 00:24:48,278
l can

545
00:24:49,321 --> 00:24:51,072
not have tea.

546
00:24:59,039 --> 00:25:00,623
l changed my mind.

547
00:25:00,708 --> 00:25:03,293
Changed it to what?
From what?

548
00:25:03,377 --> 00:25:06,880
l don't wanna have
sex with you, Pilgrim.
Not right now.

549
00:25:06,964 --> 00:25:08,798
Okay.

550
00:25:08,883 --> 00:25:11,134
lt's not like
l'm gonna send you home
in a snowstorm or anything.

551
00:25:11,218 --> 00:25:12,760
You can sleep in my bed.

552
00:25:12,845 --> 00:25:15,722
And l reserve the right
to change my mind
about the sex later.

553
00:25:15,806 --> 00:25:19,392
Well, this is nice.
Just this.

554
00:25:19,476 --> 00:25:21,936
lt's been, like,
a really long time,

555
00:25:22,021 --> 00:25:24,439
so l think l needed this,
whatever it is,

556
00:25:24,523 --> 00:25:26,608
so thank you.

557
00:25:28,527 --> 00:25:30,445
You're welcome.

558
00:25:33,407 --> 00:25:36,910
SCOTT: Hey, so, can this
not be a one-night stand?

559
00:25:36,994 --> 00:25:39,704
For one thing,
l didn't even get any.
That was a joke.

560
00:25:40,748 --> 00:25:41,915
What did you
have in mind?

561
00:25:42,541 --> 00:25:44,959
Come to the first round
of this Battle of
the Bands thing.

562
00:25:45,044 --> 00:25:46,252
You have a band?

563
00:25:46,337 --> 00:25:47,629
Yeah, we're terrible.
Please, come?

564
00:25:48,130 --> 00:25:49,589
(SlGHS) Sure.

565
00:25:50,090 --> 00:25:52,800
Oh ! Wait. Can l get
your number?

566
00:25:54,428 --> 00:25:56,429
Wow. Girl number.

567
00:25:57,181 --> 00:25:58,973
See you at the show,
Scott Pilgrim.

568
00:25:59,475 --> 00:26:00,934
Hey, it's tonight. At the. . .

569
00:26:06,065 --> 00:26:08,650
Hey. You totally came.

570
00:26:09,109 --> 00:26:11,778
Yes. l did totally come.

571
00:26:15,699 --> 00:26:16,699
(STACEY CLEARS THROAT)

572
00:26:17,034 --> 00:26:19,577
Please excuse my brother.
He is chronically enfeebled.

573
00:26:19,662 --> 00:26:21,079
l'm Stacey.
Hey.

574
00:26:21,163 --> 00:26:22,747
This is Wallace,
his roommate.
Hey.

575
00:26:22,831 --> 00:26:24,082
This is my boyfriend, Jimmy.

576
00:26:24,166 --> 00:26:25,166
Hey.

577
00:26:25,793 --> 00:26:27,252
Oh, and this is Knives.

578
00:26:27,336 --> 00:26:29,087
Hey!
Hey!

579
00:26:33,801 --> 00:26:35,385
So, do you like?

580
00:26:35,469 --> 00:26:37,470
Well, l. . .

581
00:26:47,940 --> 00:26:50,525
Have to go.

582
00:26:52,987 --> 00:26:56,072
Okay, this next band
is from Brampton,

583
00:26:56,156 --> 00:26:59,742
and they are
Crash and the Boys.

584
00:27:00,953 --> 00:27:02,870
God ! This is a nightmare.

585
00:27:03,872 --> 00:27:06,207
ls this a nightmare?
Wake up, wake up, wake up!

586
00:27:06,292 --> 00:27:07,667
Once we're on stage,
you'll be fine.

587
00:27:07,751 --> 00:27:11,170
We were just on stage
for sound check, and
the sound guy hated us.

588
00:27:11,255 --> 00:27:14,465
lt's just nerves.
Pre-show jitters.

589
00:27:14,550 --> 00:27:15,717
People love us, right?

590
00:27:15,801 --> 00:27:17,051
STEPHEN:
Oh, man, this is bad.

591
00:27:17,594 --> 00:27:19,637
This is so, so bad.

592
00:27:19,888 --> 00:27:22,932
Hey, Jimmy,
do they rock or suck?

593
00:27:23,934 --> 00:27:26,519
They have not
started playing yet.

594
00:27:27,271 --> 00:27:29,147
That was a test, Jimmy.
CRASH: One, two.

595
00:27:29,398 --> 00:27:30,773
You passed.

596
00:27:30,899 --> 00:27:32,275
Okay.

597
00:27:32,359 --> 00:27:33,609
Good evening.

598
00:27:33,694 --> 00:27:35,987
My name is Crash.
These are the Boys.

599
00:27:36,071 --> 00:27:37,780
ls that girl a boy, too?

600
00:27:37,865 --> 00:27:38,865
Yes.

601
00:27:40,409 --> 00:27:42,118
They have a girl drummer?

602
00:27:42,202 --> 00:27:46,748
This song is called
l Am So Sad,
l Am So Very Very Sad.

603
00:27:46,832 --> 00:27:48,207
Goes a little
something like this.

604
00:27:51,003 --> 00:27:53,546
(SlNGlNG)
So sad!

605
00:27:54,840 --> 00:27:55,882
Thank you.

606
00:27:56,133 --> 00:27:58,343
lt's not a race, guys.

607
00:27:58,427 --> 00:27:59,927
All right, this next song
goes out to the guy

608
00:28:00,012 --> 00:28:01,512
who keeps yelling
from the balcony.

609
00:28:01,638 --> 00:28:03,681
lt's called
We Hate You, Please Die.

610
00:28:03,766 --> 00:28:05,641
Sweet. Love this one.

611
00:28:16,570 --> 00:28:18,071
(SlNGlNG)
l can feel ya,
l can hear ya...

612
00:28:33,921 --> 00:28:35,046
Thank you.

613
00:28:35,130 --> 00:28:36,172
(AUDlENCE APPLAUDlNG)

614
00:28:36,256 --> 00:28:38,925
So, how do you know Scott?

615
00:28:39,927 --> 00:28:41,552
He's a friend.

616
00:28:42,513 --> 00:28:44,097
lt's hard for me
to keep track sometimes,

617
00:28:44,181 --> 00:28:46,307
because he has
so many friends.

618
00:28:47,726 --> 00:28:51,020
Knives,
how did you meet Scott?

619
00:28:51,105 --> 00:28:52,313
Well. . .

620
00:28:53,107 --> 00:28:54,273
SCOTT: Oh, no.

621
00:28:56,360 --> 00:28:58,778
This is a nightmare.

622
00:29:01,365 --> 00:29:02,740
We need to play
now and loud.

623
00:29:02,825 --> 00:29:03,866
Okay.

624
00:29:03,951 --> 00:29:07,328
So, l was on the bus
with my mom. . .

625
00:29:09,289 --> 00:29:11,290
ls that seriously
the end of the story?

626
00:29:11,667 --> 00:29:12,792
Oh, my gosh !

627
00:29:12,876 --> 00:29:13,876
ANNOUNCER: Okay.

628
00:29:13,961 --> 00:29:15,044
They're on !

629
00:29:15,129 --> 00:29:17,004
This next band
is from Toronto.

630
00:29:17,089 --> 00:29:22,635
And, yeah.
Give it up for Sex Bob-Omb.

631
00:29:22,719 --> 00:29:24,554
l heart you,
Sex Bob-Omb!

632
00:29:24,638 --> 00:29:25,638
(CHEERlNG)

633
00:29:27,266 --> 00:29:28,516
Scott, are you ready?

634
00:29:28,600 --> 00:29:30,059
Okay. Kim? Are you. . .

635
00:29:30,144 --> 00:29:33,813
We are Sex Bob-Omb!
One, two, three, four!

636
00:29:33,981 --> 00:29:35,106
(PLAYlNG ROCK MUSlC)

637
00:29:36,483 --> 00:29:37,692
(VOCALlZlNG)

638
00:29:41,697 --> 00:29:44,657
(SlNGlNG)
l'll take you for a ride

639
00:29:45,451 --> 00:29:47,827
On my garbage truck

640
00:29:49,997 --> 00:29:51,497
Oh, no

641
00:29:52,499 --> 00:29:54,834
l'll take you to the dump

642
00:29:56,712 --> 00:29:59,422
'Cause you're my queen

643
00:30:00,340 --> 00:30:02,842
l'll take you uptown

644
00:30:04,011 --> 00:30:07,972
l'll show you the sites
You know you wanna ride

645
00:30:09,183 --> 00:30:10,933
BOTH: On my garbage truck

646
00:30:12,644 --> 00:30:14,145
Truck, truck, truck

647
00:30:14,688 --> 00:30:17,607
We'll pass the mansions by

648
00:30:17,691 --> 00:30:21,110
Drive right through
the needle's eye

649
00:30:21,195 --> 00:30:22,278
Oh, my

650
00:30:22,362 --> 00:30:23,446
Oh, no... My...

651
00:30:23,572 --> 00:30:25,656
BOTH: My, my, my, my

652
00:30:28,869 --> 00:30:30,870
l've got a stereo

653
00:30:32,039 --> 00:30:34,999
You've just got
to turn the knob

654
00:30:35,083 --> 00:30:38,336
And maybe we'll go

655
00:30:38,420 --> 00:30:40,630
As far as we can

656
00:30:41,465 --> 00:30:43,716
BOTH:
l'll be your garbage man

657
00:30:45,219 --> 00:30:47,553
l'll take out your junk

658
00:30:48,764 --> 00:30:50,139
And l'll crush it...

659
00:30:52,059 --> 00:30:53,726
Mr. Pilgrim.

660
00:30:55,103 --> 00:30:58,898
lt is l, Matthew Patel.

661
00:30:59,733 --> 00:31:02,610
Consider our fight begun.

662
00:31:04,071 --> 00:31:05,488
What did l do?

663
00:31:06,782 --> 00:31:08,824
What do l do?

664
00:31:10,577 --> 00:31:11,786
Fight!

665
00:31:24,383 --> 00:31:29,303
All right.

666
00:31:29,388 --> 00:31:31,931
Watch out!
lt's that one guy.

667
00:31:32,057 --> 00:31:33,057
(EXCLAlMS)

668
00:31:53,370 --> 00:31:54,370
(GRUNTS)

669
00:32:02,713 --> 00:32:03,796
(LAUGHlNG)

670
00:32:04,673 --> 00:32:06,299
Well, well, well,

671
00:32:07,384 --> 00:32:10,386
you're quite the opponent,
Pilgrim.

672
00:32:10,470 --> 00:32:11,887
Who the hell
are you, anyway?

673
00:32:11,972 --> 00:32:14,974
My name is Matthew Patel !

674
00:32:15,350 --> 00:32:20,771
And l'm Ramona's
first evil ex-boyfriend.

675
00:32:21,106 --> 00:32:22,148
(GROWLS)

676
00:32:22,691 --> 00:32:23,691
Her what?

677
00:32:25,277 --> 00:32:26,736
Anyone need another drink?

678
00:32:26,903 --> 00:32:27,903
(EXCLAlMlNG)

679
00:32:30,365 --> 00:32:31,365
(BOTH GRUNTlNG)

680
00:32:38,206 --> 00:32:40,249
Wait. We're fighting
over Ramona?

681
00:32:41,084 --> 00:32:43,669
Didn't you get my e-mail
explaining the situation?

682
00:32:44,087 --> 00:32:45,129
l skimmed it.

683
00:32:45,422 --> 00:32:46,422
Mmm-mmm.

684
00:32:46,506 --> 00:32:48,966
You will pay for
your insolence!

685
00:33:13,450 --> 00:33:15,743
Hey, what's up
with his outfit?

686
00:33:16,286 --> 00:33:18,621
Yeah, is he a pirate?

687
00:33:19,414 --> 00:33:20,539
Are you a pirate?

688
00:33:20,624 --> 00:33:22,041
Pirates are in this year.

689
00:33:22,542 --> 00:33:23,542
(YELLS)

690
00:33:27,881 --> 00:33:28,881
(GROANS)

691
00:33:31,385 --> 00:33:32,927
You really went out
with this guy?

692
00:33:34,554 --> 00:33:35,846
Yeah.

693
00:33:36,932 --> 00:33:38,933
ln the seventh grade.

694
00:33:40,060 --> 00:33:41,143
And?

695
00:33:41,269 --> 00:33:42,269
(SlGHS)

696
00:33:44,439 --> 00:33:47,316
lt was football season
and for some reason,

697
00:33:47,401 --> 00:33:49,068
all the little jocks
wanted me.

698
00:33:50,654 --> 00:33:53,823
Matthew was
the only non-white,
non-jock boy in town.

699
00:33:53,907 --> 00:33:57,535
So, the two of us
joined forces
and we took 'em all down.

700
00:33:57,619 --> 00:34:01,205
We brawled and scrapped
and fought for hours.

701
00:34:01,289 --> 00:34:03,457
Nothing could beat
Matthew's mystical powers.

702
00:34:03,583 --> 00:34:04,583
(KlSSlNG SOUNDS)

703
00:34:04,751 --> 00:34:06,210
We only kissed once.

704
00:34:06,294 --> 00:34:09,463
After a week and a half,
l told him to hit the showers.

705
00:34:09,798 --> 00:34:12,133
Dude, wait.
Mystical powers?

706
00:34:14,594 --> 00:34:18,097
You'll pay for this, Flowers.

707
00:34:18,932 --> 00:34:21,851
(SlNGlNG)
lf you want to fight me

708
00:34:21,935 --> 00:34:22,977
What?

709
00:34:23,103 --> 00:34:25,730
Ha! You're not the brightest

710
00:34:26,398 --> 00:34:31,068
You won't know
what hit you
in the slightest

711
00:34:33,697 --> 00:34:34,697
(VOCALlZlNG)

712
00:34:36,283 --> 00:34:37,366
This guy's good.

713
00:34:37,451 --> 00:34:39,785
Me and my fireballs

714
00:34:40,787 --> 00:34:42,621
My Demon Hipster Chicks

715
00:34:42,914 --> 00:34:44,206
Tell him, Matty.
Tell him, Matty.

716
00:34:45,000 --> 00:34:46,417
l'm talking the talk

717
00:34:46,501 --> 00:34:49,545
Because l know l'm slick

718
00:34:49,629 --> 00:34:50,880
BOTH: S-L-ick

719
00:34:51,882 --> 00:34:53,257
Fireballs

720
00:34:53,717 --> 00:34:55,676
Take this sucker down

721
00:34:58,722 --> 00:35:04,018
Let us show him
what we're all about

722
00:35:04,352 --> 00:35:06,270
That doesn't even rhyme.

723
00:35:09,483 --> 00:35:12,651
MATTHEW: This is impossible.
How can this be?

724
00:35:12,736 --> 00:35:15,946
SCOTT: Open your eyes,
maybe you'll see.

725
00:35:18,366 --> 00:35:19,909
ANNOUNCER: K-O!

726
00:35:28,084 --> 00:35:29,710
Sweet! Coins.

727
00:35:29,920 --> 00:35:31,587
MAN: God, is that allowed?

728
00:35:32,672 --> 00:35:35,299
Well, it was nice
meeting you.

729
00:35:35,383 --> 00:35:37,843
Tell your gay friends
l said bye.

730
00:35:37,928 --> 00:35:39,386
Gay friends?

731
00:35:40,639 --> 00:35:41,806
Wallace! Again?

732
00:35:42,307 --> 00:35:44,141
WOMAN: Get a room, guys!
MAN: Oh, my God !

733
00:35:44,935 --> 00:35:48,521
Oh, man, $2.40?
That's not even enough
for the bus home.

734
00:35:48,605 --> 00:35:50,773
l'll lend you
the 35 cents.

735
00:35:50,857 --> 00:35:54,443
Yeah, so, Sex Bob-Omb wins.

736
00:35:56,363 --> 00:35:58,239
Sex Bob-Omb won?

737
00:35:58,865 --> 00:36:00,241
(WHOOPlNG)

738
00:36:01,701 --> 00:36:02,952
(AUDlTORlUM DOOR SHUTS)

739
00:36:03,036 --> 00:36:04,036
(WHlMPERS)

740
00:36:05,413 --> 00:36:08,874
SCOTT: So, what was
all that all about?

741
00:36:11,044 --> 00:36:13,045
l guess

742
00:36:14,297 --> 00:36:17,299
if we're gonna date,
you may have to defeat
my seven evil exes.

743
00:36:17,384 --> 00:36:18,634
You have seven
evil ex-boyfriends?

744
00:36:18,718 --> 00:36:19,885
Seven evil exes, yes.

745
00:36:19,970 --> 00:36:21,512
And l have to fight. . .
Defeat.

746
00:36:21,596 --> 00:36:26,141
Defeat your seven evil exes
if we're going to
continue to date?

747
00:36:26,226 --> 00:36:27,268
Pretty much.

748
00:36:27,352 --> 00:36:32,064
So, what you're saying
right now is we are dating?

749
00:36:34,401 --> 00:36:35,401
l guess.

750
00:36:35,485 --> 00:36:36,610
Does that mean
we can make out?

751
00:36:37,946 --> 00:36:38,946
Sure.

752
00:36:39,030 --> 00:36:40,155
Cool.

753
00:36:40,240 --> 00:36:41,407
STUDlO AUDlENCE: Aw!

754
00:36:46,580 --> 00:36:48,664
(STUDlO AUDlENCE CHEERlNG)

755
00:36:50,834 --> 00:36:52,084
Someone's happy.

756
00:36:52,168 --> 00:36:54,503
Well, someone got to
second base last night.

757
00:36:54,588 --> 00:36:57,840
And someone has
a second date tonight.

758
00:36:57,924 --> 00:36:59,550
Someone's lucky, then.

759
00:36:59,634 --> 00:37:00,843
(STUDlO AUDlENCE CHEERlNG)

760
00:37:00,927 --> 00:37:02,761
You know
when l say "someone,"
l mean "me," right?

761
00:37:02,846 --> 00:37:04,221
l got to second base
last night.

762
00:37:04,306 --> 00:37:05,556
(STUDlO AUDlENCE
EXCLAlMlNG lN AWE)

763
00:37:05,640 --> 00:37:06,640
Maybe first-and-a-half.

764
00:37:06,725 --> 00:37:08,434
(STUDlO AUDlENCE LAUGHlNG)

765
00:37:09,311 --> 00:37:13,856
So, l invited Ramona
over for dinner tonight,
so you can't be here.

766
00:37:13,940 --> 00:37:15,482
l don't want you
gaying up the place.

767
00:37:15,567 --> 00:37:17,359
(STUDlO AUDlENCE LAUGHlNG)

768
00:37:17,444 --> 00:37:19,153
Okay, Scott.

769
00:37:19,779 --> 00:37:21,906
But in return,
l have to issue
an ultimatum.

770
00:37:22,198 --> 00:37:23,616
One of your
famous ultimatums?

771
00:37:23,700 --> 00:37:25,576
lt may live in infamy.

772
00:37:26,578 --> 00:37:30,623
You have to
break up with Knives,
that poor angel, today.

773
00:37:32,626 --> 00:37:34,877
But it's hard.

774
00:37:34,961 --> 00:37:37,379
lf you don't,
l'm going to tell Ramona
about Knives.

775
00:37:37,464 --> 00:37:38,505
l swear to God, Scott.

776
00:37:38,590 --> 00:37:39,632
What? You. . .

777
00:37:40,467 --> 00:37:41,467
Hi. Morning.

778
00:37:41,551 --> 00:37:43,218
Hey, Jimmy.
Double standard !

779
00:37:43,303 --> 00:37:44,720
l didn't make up
the gay rulebook.

780
00:37:44,804 --> 00:37:46,180
You got a problem with it. . .
Stop.

781
00:37:46,306 --> 00:37:47,723
Take it up with
Liberace's ghost.

782
00:37:47,807 --> 00:37:48,891
You're a monster.

783
00:37:48,975 --> 00:37:50,643
Give me the bacon,
and go do your dirt

784
00:37:50,727 --> 00:37:51,936
while l watch
the Lucas Lee marathon.

785
00:37:52,145 --> 00:37:53,103
Who's Lucas Lee?

786
00:37:53,188 --> 00:37:54,188
Oh !

787
00:37:55,065 --> 00:37:56,523
He was this
pretty good skater.

788
00:37:56,608 --> 00:37:57,983
Now he's this
pretty good actor.

789
00:37:58,068 --> 00:38:00,069
He's filming
a Winifred Hailey movie
in Toronto right now.

790
00:38:00,153 --> 00:38:01,278
They make movies
in Toronto?

791
00:38:01,404 --> 00:38:02,488
Yes.

792
00:38:02,572 --> 00:38:04,114
l'm stalking him later.

793
00:38:04,199 --> 00:38:05,199
So, this Lucas Lee. . .

794
00:38:05,283 --> 00:38:07,326
Lucas Lee is not
important to you right now.
Get out.

795
00:38:10,330 --> 00:38:11,497
You suck.

796
00:38:11,581 --> 00:38:12,790
WALLACE: Out.

797
00:38:12,958 --> 00:38:13,999
Surprising no one.

798
00:38:14,084 --> 00:38:15,084
Out.

799
00:38:17,337 --> 00:38:20,089
Now, you listen close,
and you listen hard, bucko.

800
00:38:20,173 --> 00:38:22,591
The next click you'll
hear is me hanging up.

801
00:38:22,676 --> 00:38:26,971
The one after that is
me pulling the trigger.

802
00:38:29,224 --> 00:38:30,557
(PHONE RlNGlNG)

803
00:38:30,642 --> 00:38:31,684
SCOTT: Hey, Knives.

804
00:38:32,811 --> 00:38:35,521
Hey, do you wanna,
like, talk or whatever?

805
00:38:35,605 --> 00:38:40,859
KNlVES: Are you wearing
a tan jacket, like,
a spring jacket, and a hoodie?

806
00:38:41,569 --> 00:38:43,487
And a dorky hat?

807
00:38:43,571 --> 00:38:45,656
lt's not dorky.
Why are you psychic?

808
00:38:45,740 --> 00:38:46,782
(THUDDlNG)
Hey!

809
00:38:46,866 --> 00:38:48,117
Hey. Hey.

810
00:38:49,828 --> 00:38:50,953
Hey.

811
00:38:52,372 --> 00:38:54,248
Oh, my God.

812
00:38:54,332 --> 00:38:58,293
l can't believe
TCAD's coming to town.
Will you take me to the show?

813
00:38:58,378 --> 00:39:00,671
Yeah, listen. . .

814
00:39:00,755 --> 00:39:04,216
Hey, l wanted to invite
you over for dinner.

815
00:39:04,551 --> 00:39:06,301
Like, Chinese food?

816
00:39:06,386 --> 00:39:09,138
To meet my parents.
lt's my birthday dinner.

817
00:39:09,222 --> 00:39:11,765
l think that's
a really bad idea.

818
00:39:12,225 --> 00:39:14,685
No, it's okay. Why?

819
00:39:14,769 --> 00:39:16,353
l'm too old for you.

820
00:39:16,438 --> 00:39:19,690
No, you're not.
My dad is nine years
older than my mom.

821
00:39:19,774 --> 00:39:22,985
Are you even allowed
to date outside
your race or whatever?

822
00:39:23,111 --> 00:39:26,030
l don't care. l'm. . .

823
00:39:27,365 --> 00:39:28,741
l'm in. . .

824
00:39:35,123 --> 00:39:36,415
Uh. . .

825
00:39:37,083 --> 00:39:38,459
Listen,

826
00:39:39,753 --> 00:39:41,462
l was thinking

827
00:39:42,797 --> 00:39:46,133
we should break up
or whatever.

828
00:39:48,303 --> 00:39:49,386
Really?

829
00:39:49,763 --> 00:39:50,971
Yeah.

830
00:39:52,098 --> 00:39:54,058
lt's not gonna work out.

831
00:39:56,811 --> 00:39:57,811
Oh.

832
00:40:27,467 --> 00:40:29,426
Where's Knives.
Not coming tonight?

833
00:40:29,511 --> 00:40:30,552
No, we broke up.

834
00:40:30,637 --> 00:40:33,222
Hey, check it out,
l learned the bass line
from Final Fantasy ll.

835
00:40:33,389 --> 00:40:34,515
(PLAYlNG GUlTAR)

836
00:40:38,645 --> 00:40:40,562
Scott, you are
the salt of the earth.

837
00:40:40,647 --> 00:40:41,647
Thanks.

838
00:40:42,232 --> 00:40:43,524
l meant scum
of the earth.

839
00:40:43,942 --> 00:40:44,942
Thanks.

840
00:40:45,026 --> 00:40:46,401
You broke up with Knives?

841
00:40:46,486 --> 00:40:48,237
Yeah, but don't worry.

842
00:40:48,321 --> 00:40:50,823
Maybe soon you'll meet
my new-new girlfriend.

843
00:40:50,907 --> 00:40:51,949
New-new.

844
00:40:52,617 --> 00:40:53,617
(MlMlCS GUN SHOT)

845
00:40:53,701 --> 00:40:58,413
Okay, from here on out,
no girlfriends or
girlfriend talk at practice.

846
00:40:58,498 --> 00:41:00,165
Whether they're old, new, or

847
00:41:00,250 --> 00:41:01,375
New-new.
New-new.

848
00:41:01,459 --> 00:41:03,752
We were lucky to
survive the last round.

849
00:41:03,837 --> 00:41:05,462
lt's sudden death now, okay?

850
00:41:05,547 --> 00:41:06,755
Okay.

851
00:41:07,132 --> 00:41:08,382
(PLAYlNG ROCK MUSlC)

852
00:41:12,637 --> 00:41:13,720
(DOORBELL RlNGS)

853
00:41:13,805 --> 00:41:15,764
That's for me.
That's for me.
That's for me.

854
00:41:15,849 --> 00:41:18,517
Hey, you're here.

855
00:41:19,561 --> 00:41:21,311
Yes, like you said.

856
00:41:22,981 --> 00:41:23,981
You know your hair?

857
00:41:24,065 --> 00:41:25,107
l know of it.

858
00:41:25,191 --> 00:41:26,316
lt's all blue.

859
00:41:26,401 --> 00:41:29,570
l change my hair
every week and a half,
dude. Get used to it.

860
00:41:30,572 --> 00:41:32,030
So. . .

861
00:41:33,324 --> 00:41:34,741
How do you guys
all know each other?

862
00:41:35,827 --> 00:41:38,036
High school, l guess.

863
00:41:38,121 --> 00:41:39,413
What Neil said.

864
00:41:39,539 --> 00:41:40,664
l'm Neil.

865
00:41:40,748 --> 00:41:43,458
Believe it or not,
l actually dated
Scott in high school.

866
00:41:43,710 --> 00:41:45,252
Got any embarrassing stories?

867
00:41:45,336 --> 00:41:46,962
Yeah, he's an idiot.

868
00:41:47,297 --> 00:41:49,006
Okay, bye.
See you guys tomorrow.

869
00:41:49,090 --> 00:41:50,132
STEPHEN:
What about rehearsal?

870
00:41:50,258 --> 00:41:51,300
Neil knows my parts.

871
00:41:53,386 --> 00:41:54,887
l'm Neil.

872
00:42:03,146 --> 00:42:04,146
You doing okay, there?

873
00:42:04,230 --> 00:42:05,856
Yeah, good, good, good.

874
00:42:09,068 --> 00:42:10,235
She changed her hair.

875
00:42:10,403 --> 00:42:11,570
So? lt looks nice blue.

876
00:42:11,654 --> 00:42:13,071
Yeah, l know,
but she did it
without even making

877
00:42:13,156 --> 00:42:14,281
a big deal of it
or anything.

878
00:42:14,365 --> 00:42:17,075
She's fickle.
lmpulsive.
Spontaneous.

879
00:42:17,285 --> 00:42:18,744
God, what am l gonna do?

880
00:42:19,037 --> 00:42:22,998
Can't believe you're worried
about me gaying up the place.

881
00:42:23,082 --> 00:42:25,000
So, how's dinner
coming along?

882
00:42:25,084 --> 00:42:26,919
Yeah, good, good, good.

883
00:42:28,421 --> 00:42:31,506
Okay, well,
l'm gonna leave you
lovebirds to it.

884
00:42:31,591 --> 00:42:35,177
l am heading up to Casa Loma
to stalk my hetero crush.

885
00:42:35,261 --> 00:42:36,303
(WHlSPERS) Don't go!

886
00:42:36,387 --> 00:42:37,763
Will you man the hell up?

887
00:42:37,847 --> 00:42:39,223
You can get to second
and a half base tonight.

888
00:42:39,307 --> 00:42:40,432
You think so?

889
00:42:40,516 --> 00:42:43,435
Well, if you strike out
in the next hour,
come find me at the castle.

890
00:42:43,728 --> 00:42:44,770
lf l strike out?

891
00:42:44,854 --> 00:42:46,188
Okay, when. See you in 60.

892
00:42:51,236 --> 00:42:52,694
This is actually
really good garlic bread.

893
00:42:52,779 --> 00:42:54,363
Garlic bread is
my favorite food.

894
00:42:54,447 --> 00:42:56,156
l could honestly
eat it for every meal.

895
00:42:56,449 --> 00:42:58,909
Or just eat it all the time
without even stopping.

896
00:42:58,993 --> 00:43:00,077
You'd get fat.

897
00:43:00,203 --> 00:43:01,286
No, why would l get fat?

898
00:43:01,371 --> 00:43:02,412
Bread makes you fat.

899
00:43:02,497 --> 00:43:03,747
Bread makes you fat?

900
00:43:06,584 --> 00:43:07,793
l wrote a song about you.

901
00:43:07,919 --> 00:43:08,961
You did?

902
00:43:09,045 --> 00:43:10,128
Yeah, it goes like this.

903
00:43:10,797 --> 00:43:13,882
(SlNGlNG) Ramona

904
00:43:17,387 --> 00:43:20,305
Ramona

905
00:43:22,016 --> 00:43:24,434
On my mind

906
00:43:25,645 --> 00:43:29,606
Ramona

907
00:43:35,029 --> 00:43:36,446
Can't wait to hear it
when it's finished.

908
00:43:37,198 --> 00:43:38,323
Finished?

909
00:43:45,039 --> 00:43:46,498
Your hair's pretty shaggy.

910
00:43:46,582 --> 00:43:48,583
Oh, God,
l need a haircut, don't l?

911
00:43:48,668 --> 00:43:49,626
What?

912
00:43:49,711 --> 00:43:51,003
No, sorry. l just. . .

913
00:43:51,337 --> 00:43:54,840
l got a bad haircut
right before me and
my big ex broke up,

914
00:43:54,924 --> 00:43:57,426
but that was so long ago
now l can barely remember.

915
00:43:57,510 --> 00:44:00,262
NARRATOR: Scott is
acutely aware that his
last salon haircut took place

916
00:44:00,346 --> 00:44:04,182
exactly 431 days ago,
three hours
before his big breakup.

917
00:44:04,267 --> 00:44:06,435
He's been cutting
his own hair ever since.

918
00:44:06,519 --> 00:44:07,644
So long ago.

919
00:44:09,063 --> 00:44:10,314
Sounds like a bad time.

920
00:44:10,398 --> 00:44:12,232
Bad time? Not really.

921
00:44:12,317 --> 00:44:13,400
lt was.

922
00:44:13,484 --> 00:44:14,693
lt was a mutual thing.

923
00:44:14,777 --> 00:44:15,861
lt wasn't.

924
00:44:15,945 --> 00:44:18,905
l mean,
she told me
it was mutual.

925
00:44:18,990 --> 00:44:21,366
She dumped him.
lt was brutal.

926
00:44:21,451 --> 00:44:22,659
What was her name?

927
00:44:22,744 --> 00:44:24,036
She was Nat,
when l knew her,

928
00:44:24,120 --> 00:44:26,204
but she stopped
liking that name.

929
00:44:26,289 --> 00:44:27,956
Then she stopped liking me.

930
00:44:28,041 --> 00:44:29,916
Your hair is cute.
l like it long.

931
00:44:30,001 --> 00:44:31,793
But it would be
cuter short,
wouldn't it?

932
00:44:31,878 --> 00:44:33,712
What?
What?

933
00:44:34,422 --> 00:44:35,464
Why are you
wearing that hat?

934
00:44:35,548 --> 00:44:36,757
l thought we could go
for a walk.

935
00:44:38,509 --> 00:44:39,926
RAMONA: Tell me we didn't
come out here in the cold

936
00:44:40,011 --> 00:44:41,303
so you could cover
your hair with that hat.

937
00:44:41,387 --> 00:44:43,972
No, no. l just love me
some walking, you know.

938
00:44:44,057 --> 00:44:49,061
Just putting one leg
in front of the other,
like this. Walking.

939
00:44:49,145 --> 00:44:51,104
You seem
a little heightened.

940
00:44:51,898 --> 00:44:53,231
Yeah. Yeah, l don't know.

941
00:44:53,316 --> 00:44:55,901
l just sort of
feel like l'm on drugs
when l'm with you.

942
00:44:55,985 --> 00:44:57,486
Not that l do drugs,
unless you do drugs,

943
00:44:57,570 --> 00:44:59,488
in which case
l do drugs all the time.

944
00:44:59,572 --> 00:45:00,572
Every drug.

945
00:45:01,366 --> 00:45:04,326
Yeah, l don't know.
Just when l'm with you,

946
00:45:04,410 --> 00:45:07,120
things sort of seem
a little brighter.

947
00:45:07,205 --> 00:45:08,205
What is this place?

948
00:45:08,289 --> 00:45:09,831
lt's a totally
awesome castle.

949
00:45:09,957 --> 00:45:11,500
They're shooting
this movie here
right now.

950
00:45:11,584 --> 00:45:14,211
MAN: Okay, everybody,
let's do this.
Lots to do, everyone.

951
00:45:14,295 --> 00:45:15,295
Lots to do.

952
00:45:15,380 --> 00:45:17,130
Did you find
the guy you
were stalking?

953
00:45:17,215 --> 00:45:18,840
l think l'm about
to right now.

954
00:45:18,925 --> 00:45:20,509
MAN: Mr. Lee is traveling.

955
00:45:20,593 --> 00:45:21,635
Mr. Lee?

956
00:45:21,719 --> 00:45:23,053
Lucas Lee.

957
00:45:23,137 --> 00:45:24,137
Oh.

958
00:45:24,639 --> 00:45:25,639
Oh?

959
00:45:25,723 --> 00:45:27,349
MAN: And roll sound.

960
00:45:27,433 --> 00:45:30,102
(TRlUMPHANT lNSTRUMENTAL
MUSlC PLAYlNG)

961
00:45:34,107 --> 00:45:36,441
l wanna have his
adopted babies.

962
00:45:37,652 --> 00:45:38,777
Here we go.

963
00:45:40,571 --> 00:45:42,280
All right,
on your marks, everyone.

964
00:45:42,365 --> 00:45:43,698
Oh, man, we got to go.

965
00:45:43,950 --> 00:45:45,033
What? Why?

966
00:45:45,118 --> 00:45:47,411
l used to date that clown.

967
00:45:47,495 --> 00:45:48,537
And. . .

968
00:45:48,621 --> 00:45:49,663
Action.

969
00:45:49,997 --> 00:45:51,581
Oh, my God.

970
00:45:51,666 --> 00:45:52,833
Hey.

971
00:45:53,584 --> 00:45:55,252
The only thing
keeping me and
her apart

972
00:45:55,336 --> 00:45:57,629
is the two minutes
it's gonna take
to kick your ass.

973
00:45:57,713 --> 00:45:59,381
You dated a famous guy?

974
00:45:59,465 --> 00:46:01,174
ln ninth grade.
We had drama.

975
00:46:01,259 --> 00:46:02,551
Actually,
it might have been math.

976
00:46:02,677 --> 00:46:04,010
l just remember
there being
a lot of drama.

977
00:46:04,095 --> 00:46:05,053
Hey!

978
00:46:05,138 --> 00:46:07,055
He was
a snot-nosed little brat.
He just followed me around.

979
00:46:07,140 --> 00:46:09,891
He had snot in his nose?
But he's famous.

980
00:46:09,976 --> 00:46:12,477
Hey! l'm talking to you,
Scott Pilgrim.

981
00:46:12,562 --> 00:46:14,146
He's famous and
he talked to me.

982
00:46:14,397 --> 00:46:16,356
The only thing
keeping me and
her apart

983
00:46:16,441 --> 00:46:18,984
is the two minutes
it's gonna take
to kick your ass.

984
00:46:19,193 --> 00:46:21,778
Can l have your. . .
Can l have your autograph,
please?

985
00:46:22,363 --> 00:46:23,488
(GRUNTlNG)

986
00:46:25,199 --> 00:46:26,241
What's up?

987
00:46:26,325 --> 00:46:28,535
How's life?
He seems nice.

988
00:46:30,204 --> 00:46:31,204
(SCOTT SCREAMlNG)

989
00:46:32,039 --> 00:46:33,373
Boom !

990
00:46:34,000 --> 00:46:35,000
(GRUNTlNG)

991
00:46:36,961 --> 00:46:38,962
MAN: And that's a cut!

992
00:46:39,839 --> 00:46:43,383
Scott, evil ex. Fight.

993
00:46:43,468 --> 00:46:46,094
Let's get ready
to go again, please.
Let's get ready to go again.

994
00:46:46,179 --> 00:46:47,804
Hey, hombre.

995
00:46:48,848 --> 00:46:51,808
You really think
you can stand a chance
against an A-lister, bro?

996
00:46:53,728 --> 00:46:54,728
(EXHALES)

997
00:46:55,480 --> 00:46:57,939
Some competish you are.

998
00:46:59,525 --> 00:47:00,525
Hey!

999
00:47:01,486 --> 00:47:02,652
Hey!
(SCOFFS)

1000
00:47:03,779 --> 00:47:05,697
Hey, l'm not done with you.

1001
00:47:05,781 --> 00:47:07,908
Oh ! (CHUCKLlNG)

1002
00:47:09,327 --> 00:47:11,203
Looks like
you're seeing double.

1003
00:47:13,206 --> 00:47:14,206
He's good, right?

1004
00:47:14,540 --> 00:47:16,249
Sometimes l let him do
the wide shots

1005
00:47:16,626 --> 00:47:19,920
when l feel like
getting blazed back
in my Winnie.

1006
00:47:25,009 --> 00:47:26,259
What can l say?

1007
00:47:27,887 --> 00:47:29,888
l'm nothing without
my stunt team.

1008
00:47:35,728 --> 00:47:38,688
Hey! Ask them
how it feels to always
get his sloppy seconds.

1009
00:47:38,773 --> 00:47:39,773
How does it. . .

1010
00:47:40,900 --> 00:47:42,108
(ALL GRUNTlNG)

1011
00:48:14,141 --> 00:48:16,142
Hey, l'm gonna get a coffee.
You homies want anything?

1012
00:48:16,269 --> 00:48:18,103
No, l just ate.
Negative.

1013
00:48:20,648 --> 00:48:21,648
(CELL PHONE BEEPS)

1014
00:48:22,775 --> 00:48:23,775
(CHUCKLES)

1015
00:48:25,278 --> 00:48:27,445
That's actually hilarious.

1016
00:48:28,072 --> 00:48:29,114
Ah.

1017
00:48:29,198 --> 00:48:30,615
Hilarious.

1018
00:48:31,867 --> 00:48:33,451
SCOTT: Mr. Lee!

1019
00:48:38,207 --> 00:48:40,125
You're needed back on set.

1020
00:49:05,776 --> 00:49:06,776
(GRUNTS)

1021
00:49:07,653 --> 00:49:09,154
Prepare. . .

1022
00:49:09,989 --> 00:49:13,992
Prepare to feel the wrath
of the League of Evil Exes.

1023
00:49:14,201 --> 00:49:15,827
The League of Evil Axes?

1024
00:49:16,412 --> 00:49:17,704
You really don't know
about the League?

1025
00:49:19,123 --> 00:49:22,167
The seven evil exes?
Coming to kill you?

1026
00:49:22,668 --> 00:49:25,545
Controlling the future
of Ramona's love life?

1027
00:49:25,630 --> 00:49:26,755
No.

1028
00:49:26,839 --> 00:49:28,506
Oh, well, hey, listen, man.
Don't worry about it.

1029
00:49:28,924 --> 00:49:30,467
Really?
Yeah. Let's go get a beer.

1030
00:49:30,551 --> 00:49:31,551
That's great. . . (GROANS)

1031
00:49:31,636 --> 00:49:32,969
Boom ! (LAUGHlNG)

1032
00:49:35,181 --> 00:49:36,181
(GRUNTS)

1033
00:49:36,557 --> 00:49:38,266
You are a pretty
good actor.

1034
00:49:38,351 --> 00:49:39,684
l'm going for
the Oscar this year.

1035
00:49:40,936 --> 00:49:42,896
But are you
a pretty good skater?

1036
00:49:42,980 --> 00:49:45,148
l'm more than
pretty good, ese.

1037
00:49:45,358 --> 00:49:47,233
l have my own skate company.

1038
00:49:47,818 --> 00:49:51,780
But can you do
a thingy on that rail?

1039
00:49:54,283 --> 00:49:56,034
lt's called a grind, bro.

1040
00:49:56,118 --> 00:49:59,954
So, can you do
a grindy thingy now?

1041
00:50:01,582 --> 00:50:03,375
Are you serious?

1042
00:50:05,628 --> 00:50:08,213
There are, like, 200 steps,
and the rails are garbage.

1043
00:50:08,297 --> 00:50:10,423
Well, hey,
if it's too hardcore then. . .

1044
00:50:11,050 --> 00:50:14,469
You really think
you can goad me
into doing a trick like that?

1045
00:50:14,553 --> 00:50:16,012
There are girls watching.

1046
00:50:18,683 --> 00:50:21,017
Somebody get me my board.

1047
00:50:22,269 --> 00:50:24,396
Hi. Big fan.

1048
00:50:25,981 --> 00:50:27,607
Why wouldn't you be?

1049
00:50:42,665 --> 00:50:58,054
Wow.

1050
00:50:58,347 --> 00:50:59,848
Yes!
He totally bailed.

1051
00:51:01,100 --> 00:51:02,434
Ah ! l didn't get
his autograph.

1052
00:51:02,518 --> 00:51:03,560
No.

1053
00:51:03,644 --> 00:51:05,895
MAN: And that's
a wrap, everybody.

1054
00:51:05,980 --> 00:51:08,857
Hey, where's Ramona.
ls she still here?

1055
00:51:08,941 --> 00:51:11,192
No. She totally bailed.

1056
00:51:11,277 --> 00:51:13,820
What's the deal? Seriously.

1057
00:51:13,904 --> 00:51:15,822
Let's move, people,
the sun is coming up.

1058
00:51:16,449 --> 00:51:17,490
(VOlCEMAlL BEEPlNG)

1059
00:51:17,575 --> 00:51:22,036
Hey, it's me again. Scott.
Give me a call
when you get this.

1060
00:51:22,121 --> 00:51:23,872
Scott Pilgrim.

1061
00:51:24,957 --> 00:51:27,375
What's the deal?
Seriously.

1062
00:51:27,460 --> 00:51:29,711
Yep. You said that
last night.

1063
00:51:29,795 --> 00:51:31,004
You know what
really sucks, though?

1064
00:51:31,505 --> 00:51:32,505
What?

1065
00:51:33,299 --> 00:51:34,591
Everything.

1066
00:51:34,800 --> 00:51:36,301
Come on, guy.

1067
00:51:36,802 --> 00:51:38,678
You can't say
you didn't see
this coming.

1068
00:51:38,763 --> 00:51:39,804
What?

1069
00:51:41,849 --> 00:51:43,266
What did you
think these were?

1070
00:51:43,851 --> 00:51:46,811
Kisses?
Seven little kisses?

1071
00:51:46,896 --> 00:51:49,981
Seven deadly X's.

1072
00:51:53,152 --> 00:51:55,904
Why does everything
have to be so complicated?

1073
00:51:56,989 --> 00:51:59,199
lf you want something bad,
you have to fight for it.

1074
00:51:59,617 --> 00:52:00,992
Step up your game, Scott.

1075
00:52:01,202 --> 00:52:02,535
Break out the L-word.

1076
00:52:02,620 --> 00:52:03,828
"Lesbian?"

1077
00:52:04,121 --> 00:52:05,288
The other L-word.

1078
00:52:06,207 --> 00:52:07,582
"Lesbians?"

1079
00:52:07,666 --> 00:52:10,293
lt's "love," Scott.
l wasn't trying to
trick you.

1080
00:52:10,377 --> 00:52:12,629
Hey, buddy, look,

1081
00:52:12,963 --> 00:52:15,965
if she really is
the girl of your dreams,

1082
00:52:16,050 --> 00:52:17,509
then you have to
let her know.

1083
00:52:17,593 --> 00:52:21,262
You have to overcome
any and all obstacles
that lie in your path.

1084
00:52:21,555 --> 00:52:24,432
You can do it. Be with her!
lt's your destiny!

1085
00:52:25,518 --> 00:52:27,435
Plus, l need you
to move out.

1086
00:52:27,520 --> 00:52:28,603
What?
Yeah.

1087
00:52:28,687 --> 00:52:30,021
l'm kind of banking
on her calling you back

1088
00:52:30,105 --> 00:52:32,440
so l don't have to evict you
and feel all guilty and shit.

1089
00:52:32,525 --> 00:52:33,525
(PHONE RlNGlNG)

1090
00:52:33,609 --> 00:52:34,943
l have a feeling
that's for you, guy.

1091
00:52:36,570 --> 00:52:37,570
Hey.

1092
00:52:37,696 --> 00:52:38,696
ENVY: Hey, Scott.

1093
00:52:38,781 --> 00:52:40,573
Envy?
Oh, shit.

1094
00:52:41,283 --> 00:52:42,408
Been a while.

1095
00:52:42,493 --> 00:52:43,451
Yeah.

1096
00:52:43,536 --> 00:52:44,744
A year, l think.

1097
00:52:44,829 --> 00:52:46,162
Approximately.

1098
00:52:46,372 --> 00:52:47,455
How are you?

1099
00:52:47,540 --> 00:52:48,957
l'm not doing
so good right now.

1100
00:52:49,375 --> 00:52:53,461
Oh, that's too bad.
Still breaking hearts?

1101
00:52:53,546 --> 00:52:57,549
What? No. l've been. . .
lt's been different.
You have no idea.

1102
00:52:57,633 --> 00:53:00,176
Probably not.
Do you have
a girlfriend?

1103
00:53:00,261 --> 00:53:02,303
Should l be jealous?

1104
00:53:02,388 --> 00:53:04,639
Yes, you should.
l have this totally
awesome girlfriend

1105
00:53:04,723 --> 00:53:07,267
who calls me
all the time
and she's America.

1106
00:53:07,351 --> 00:53:08,351
She's American.

1107
00:53:08,435 --> 00:53:09,602
What's her name?

1108
00:53:09,687 --> 00:53:11,396
l'm not telling you that.
Ramona.

1109
00:53:11,480 --> 00:53:12,480
Oh.

1110
00:53:12,815 --> 00:53:13,815
What? Do you know her?

1111
00:53:13,899 --> 00:53:15,316
What? No.

1112
00:53:15,776 --> 00:53:17,193
lt sounded like you did.

1113
00:53:17,278 --> 00:53:19,821
l got to go.
lt's been nice
chatting with you.

1114
00:53:19,905 --> 00:53:21,072
Wait.

1115
00:53:26,871 --> 00:53:28,079
Okay.

1116
00:53:30,499 --> 00:53:31,624
Everything does suck.

1117
00:53:31,792 --> 00:53:34,419
(PHONE RlNGlNG)
Or does it? Hello?

1118
00:53:35,254 --> 00:53:36,379
Hey, Knives.

1119
00:53:37,756 --> 00:53:40,008
What's that?
You're outside?

1120
00:53:41,093 --> 00:53:42,552
ls Scott here?

1121
00:53:42,636 --> 00:53:45,263
You know what?
He just left.
(GLASS SHATTERlNG)

1122
00:53:47,224 --> 00:53:48,224
Really?

1123
00:53:48,350 --> 00:53:49,392
Yeah.

1124
00:53:51,520 --> 00:53:52,687
Sorry.

1125
00:53:55,774 --> 00:53:57,025
ENVY:
Do you have a girlfriend?

1126
00:53:57,109 --> 00:54:00,153
WALLACE:
Seven deadly X's.

1127
00:54:00,446 --> 00:54:02,864
RAMONA:
You may have to defeat
my seven evil exes.

1128
00:54:04,033 --> 00:54:06,159
STEPHEN:
lt's sudden death now, okay?

1129
00:54:06,285 --> 00:54:08,494
MAN: She's got some
battle scars, dude.

1130
00:54:08,579 --> 00:54:10,455
WALLACE: You can't say you
didn't see this coming.

1131
00:54:10,539 --> 00:54:11,539
(WHOOSHlNG)

1132
00:54:13,459 --> 00:54:14,667
Dude.

1133
00:54:17,796 --> 00:54:18,796
Please.

1134
00:54:19,798 --> 00:54:21,424
l'm really not
in the mood for this.

1135
00:54:23,802 --> 00:54:25,053
Okay, enough !

1136
00:54:28,807 --> 00:54:29,807
(GRUNTS)

1137
00:54:31,936 --> 00:54:33,353
You punched me
in the boob!

1138
00:54:34,939 --> 00:54:37,023
Prepare to die, obviously.

1139
00:54:37,107 --> 00:54:39,359
Look, l've had it today.
Can we not do this right now?

1140
00:54:39,443 --> 00:54:41,527
l'd love to
postpone, darling,

1141
00:54:41,612 --> 00:54:43,905
but l just cashed
my last rain check.

1142
00:54:44,239 --> 00:54:45,615
What's that from?
My brain !

1143
00:54:46,492 --> 00:54:49,202
l'm really, really
not up for this.
Whatever it is.

1144
00:54:49,286 --> 00:54:52,747
Okay, little chicken.
l'll see you later.

1145
00:54:52,831 --> 00:54:54,499
But you won't see me,

1146
00:54:54,583 --> 00:54:58,211
because next time,
l'll be deadly
serious next time.

1147
00:54:58,545 --> 00:54:59,545
What?

1148
00:54:59,630 --> 00:55:00,755
Never mind !

1149
00:55:02,341 --> 00:55:04,509
Man. Someone help me.

1150
00:55:04,677 --> 00:55:05,677
(CELL PHONE RlNGS)

1151
00:55:05,761 --> 00:55:07,095
Hello.
lt's Scott.

1152
00:55:07,179 --> 00:55:08,346
What did he do this time?

1153
00:55:08,430 --> 00:55:09,973
No, it's Scott.
lt's actually me.

1154
00:55:10,057 --> 00:55:11,099
What did you do this time?

1155
00:55:11,183 --> 00:55:12,850
l didn't do anything.
lt's everyone else
that's crazy.

1156
00:55:12,935 --> 00:55:14,936
Look, l'm having
a meltdown or whatever.
Are you still working?

1157
00:55:15,020 --> 00:55:16,145
l'm literally
about to leave.

1158
00:55:16,230 --> 00:55:17,397
Cool, l'm coming in.

1159
00:55:23,862 --> 00:55:25,363
l think l'll make it
a decaf today.

1160
00:55:25,447 --> 00:55:26,698
Scott Pilgrim !

1161
00:55:27,199 --> 00:55:28,533
What did you do
with my sister?

1162
00:55:28,617 --> 00:55:29,617
(TAPPlNG ON WlNDOW)

1163
00:55:29,702 --> 00:55:31,536
Sorry, l had to go.

1164
00:55:32,079 --> 00:55:33,871
So, what can l (BLEEP)
get you?

1165
00:55:33,956 --> 00:55:35,206
ls there anywhere
you don't work?

1166
00:55:35,290 --> 00:55:38,418
They're called jobs.
Something a (BLEEP) like you
wouldn't know anything about.

1167
00:55:38,502 --> 00:55:40,712
And by the way,
l can't (BLEEP) believe
you asked Ramona out

1168
00:55:40,796 --> 00:55:43,339
after l specifically
told you not to
(BLEEP) do that.

1169
00:55:43,424 --> 00:55:44,799
How are you doing
that with your mouth?

1170
00:55:44,883 --> 00:55:46,926
Never (BLEEP) mind
how l'm doing it!

1171
00:55:47,011 --> 00:55:48,386
What do you have to say
for yourself?

1172
00:55:48,721 --> 00:55:50,179
Can l get
a caramel macchiato?

1173
00:55:51,181 --> 00:55:53,725
You know what,
maybe it's high (BLEEP) time
you took a look in a mirror

1174
00:55:53,809 --> 00:55:55,476
before you wreak
havoc on another girl.

1175
00:55:55,561 --> 00:55:56,686
Me? Wreak havoc?

1176
00:55:56,770 --> 00:55:57,979
And speaking of
(BLEEP) which,

1177
00:55:58,063 --> 00:55:59,188
l hear the girl
that kicked your heart
in the ass

1178
00:55:59,273 --> 00:56:00,898
is walking the streets
of Toronto again.

1179
00:56:02,234 --> 00:56:03,818
So, l can just get
my coffee over here?

1180
00:56:07,072 --> 00:56:08,489
Sorry that got
a little crazy last night.

1181
00:56:08,907 --> 00:56:10,825
Yeah, you kind of disappeared.

1182
00:56:11,577 --> 00:56:13,745
Yeah, l do that.

1183
00:56:15,289 --> 00:56:18,833
Listen, l know
l can be hard to be
around sometimes.

1184
00:56:19,334 --> 00:56:21,502
l totally understand
if you don't want to
hang out anymore.

1185
00:56:21,587 --> 00:56:23,629
No, no, l want to hang.

1186
00:56:24,048 --> 00:56:25,840
You know, the whole
evil ex-boyfriend thing. . .

1187
00:56:25,924 --> 00:56:26,924
Exes.

1188
00:56:27,009 --> 00:56:28,009
lt's no biggie.

1189
00:56:28,635 --> 00:56:31,179
l know it's early,

1190
00:56:31,263 --> 00:56:33,723
but l don't think
anything can get in
the way of how l. . .

1191
00:56:33,807 --> 00:56:34,932
Shit!

1192
00:56:36,268 --> 00:56:37,393
lt's my ex.

1193
00:56:37,478 --> 00:56:38,728
A big one?
Mmm-hmm.

1194
00:56:39,521 --> 00:56:40,855
SCOTT: Envy.

1195
00:56:43,609 --> 00:56:44,776
l'm gonna. . .

1196
00:56:46,070 --> 00:56:47,445
Excuse me.

1197
00:56:49,948 --> 00:56:51,032
Your hair is
getting shaggy.

1198
00:56:51,116 --> 00:56:52,116
Yeah?

1199
00:56:52,201 --> 00:56:53,743
So, that's Ramona.

1200
00:56:53,827 --> 00:56:54,869
Yeah.

1201
00:56:55,120 --> 00:56:56,537
Okay, l'm jealous.

1202
00:56:56,622 --> 00:56:57,663
You're jealous?

1203
00:56:57,915 --> 00:56:58,956
l'm allowed.

1204
00:56:59,166 --> 00:57:01,375
You left me for
that cocky pretty boy.

1205
00:57:01,460 --> 00:57:03,127
You haven't even
seen him.

1206
00:57:03,337 --> 00:57:05,546
l know,
you left me for someone
l've never even seen.

1207
00:57:05,631 --> 00:57:08,424
Maybe you will see him.
We're playing Lee's Palace.

1208
00:57:08,509 --> 00:57:11,344
You should
so totally come.

1209
00:57:11,428 --> 00:57:13,930
That's so not
going to happen.

1210
00:57:14,014 --> 00:57:15,932
Great, you're
so on the list.

1211
00:57:17,851 --> 00:57:21,229
Caramel macchiato
for (BLEEP) Pilgrim.

1212
00:57:21,939 --> 00:57:23,356
RAMONA:
So, that was Envy.

1213
00:57:23,440 --> 00:57:24,482
SCOTT: Uh-huh.

1214
00:57:24,608 --> 00:57:26,067
What happened
with the two of you?

1215
00:57:26,151 --> 00:57:28,069
Do you mind if we don't
get into it right now?

1216
00:57:28,153 --> 00:57:29,654
She wanted to move
to Montreal,

1217
00:57:29,738 --> 00:57:31,155
because she missed
her best friend.

1218
00:57:31,615 --> 00:57:33,032
This guy, Todd.

1219
00:57:33,117 --> 00:57:35,076
And two weeks later,
they were sleeping
together, l guess?

1220
00:57:35,160 --> 00:57:36,744
Basically.

1221
00:57:36,829 --> 00:57:39,997
Dated a Todd once.
Didn't end well, either.

1222
00:57:40,082 --> 00:57:43,835
l can see how it sucks.
Having the past
come back to haunt you.

1223
00:57:44,169 --> 00:57:46,587
ls it wrong that l try
not to think about it?

1224
00:57:46,672 --> 00:57:48,214
What do you want
to think about?

1225
00:57:48,507 --> 00:57:50,591
How warm
my place is right now.

1226
00:57:50,676 --> 00:57:51,676
Oh.

1227
00:57:53,095 --> 00:57:55,847
And you didn't bang her?
Are you gay?

1228
00:57:56,181 --> 00:57:58,683
l couldn't stop thinking
about my stupid ex-girlfriend.

1229
00:57:58,767 --> 00:58:00,226
ls that
the Uma Thurman movie?

1230
00:58:00,310 --> 00:58:04,605
Scott, just because
Envy is back in town
doesn't make it not over.

1231
00:58:04,690 --> 00:58:06,774
Double negative.
lt's tricky.

1232
00:58:06,859 --> 00:58:08,734
lt's over. Move on.

1233
00:58:08,819 --> 00:58:09,777
Word.

1234
00:58:09,862 --> 00:58:12,572
Right. l'm not going
to let her toy with me.

1235
00:58:12,865 --> 00:58:14,949
From this moment on,

1236
00:58:15,033 --> 00:58:17,785
l will think of
Envy Adams no more!

1237
00:58:19,204 --> 00:58:20,371
l have distressing news.

1238
00:58:20,455 --> 00:58:23,416
ls it news that we suck,
because l really
don't think l can take it.

1239
00:58:23,500 --> 00:58:26,502
No. The Clash at Demonhead
are doing a secret show
tomorrow night

1240
00:58:26,587 --> 00:58:28,671
and Envy asked us
to open for them.

1241
00:58:28,755 --> 00:58:29,797
l hate you.

1242
00:58:29,882 --> 00:58:32,049
A gig is a gig,
is a gig, is a gig.

1243
00:58:32,134 --> 00:58:33,509
Maybe you can put
your history aside

1244
00:58:33,594 --> 00:58:35,428
until we get through
this thing, for the band.

1245
00:58:35,762 --> 00:58:37,471
For the band?
For the band?

1246
00:58:37,556 --> 00:58:38,931
Can't we do our. . .
For the band?

1247
00:58:39,016 --> 00:58:40,141
Can't we do our
own secret shows?

1248
00:58:40,225 --> 00:58:41,934
All our shows
are secret shows.

1249
00:58:42,227 --> 00:58:45,146
We're doing it.
G-Man might be there.

1250
00:58:45,230 --> 00:58:47,148
We play the next round
of the battle on Tuesday.

1251
00:58:47,232 --> 00:58:50,568
We have to get
some buzz going.
We need groundswell.

1252
00:58:50,652 --> 00:58:52,195
We need stalkers.

1253
00:58:59,494 --> 00:59:01,078
What would you do
if your ex was in a band

1254
00:59:01,163 --> 00:59:02,872
and they wanted you
to open for them?

1255
00:59:03,081 --> 00:59:04,749
lf my ex was in a band?

1256
00:59:04,833 --> 00:59:05,833
Mmm-hmm.

1257
00:59:06,418 --> 00:59:07,919
Might be a little
awkward, but maybe

1258
00:59:08,003 --> 00:59:09,670
it's the grown-up
thing to do.

1259
00:59:09,963 --> 00:59:12,590
Yeah. We're all
adults here, right?

1260
00:59:14,218 --> 00:59:15,885
KNlVES: Oh, my God!

1261
00:59:15,969 --> 00:59:17,970
He's dating
a fat-ass hipster chick!

1262
00:59:18,055 --> 00:59:19,597
l hate her stupid guts!

1263
00:59:19,932 --> 00:59:24,894
He only likes her
because she's old.
She's probably, like, 25!

1264
00:59:25,229 --> 00:59:27,563
She's just some fat-ass
white girl, you know?

1265
00:59:27,648 --> 00:59:29,565
l think you mentioned
she was fat.

1266
00:59:29,650 --> 00:59:30,983
She's got a head start.

1267
00:59:31,068 --> 00:59:34,445
l mean, l didn't even know
there was good music
until two months ago!

1268
00:59:34,529 --> 00:59:35,571
Hey, this really burns.

1269
00:59:35,656 --> 00:59:36,697
You should rinse.

1270
00:59:36,782 --> 00:59:37,782
(WATER FLOWlNG)

1271
00:59:37,866 --> 00:59:40,409
When l got this idea,
l just thought,
"l have to do it!"

1272
00:59:40,494 --> 00:59:42,328
l can't hear
anything you're saying.

1273
00:59:43,121 --> 00:59:45,289
Oh, God ! l look so

1274
00:59:47,000 --> 00:59:48,626
good.

1275
00:59:49,211 --> 00:59:51,587
Ramona Flowers
stole my Scott.

1276
00:59:51,922 --> 00:59:54,715
But l know
how to get him back.

1277
00:59:55,217 --> 00:59:56,259
How?

1278
01:00:02,808 --> 01:00:04,392
(ROCK MUSlC PLAYlNG)

1279
01:00:07,896 --> 01:00:10,022
(SlNGlNG) Come on, come on

1280
01:00:14,611 --> 01:00:16,904
Thank you,
we were Sex Bob-Omb.

1281
01:00:16,989 --> 01:00:18,447
(WHOOPS)
Yeah !

1282
01:00:18,532 --> 01:00:20,741
We have some merch
at the back, so...

1283
01:00:22,160 --> 01:00:23,828
Okay, bar? Now?

1284
01:00:28,458 --> 01:00:30,751
Level with me.
Did we suck?

1285
01:00:30,836 --> 01:00:32,962
l don't know. Did you?

1286
01:00:34,715 --> 01:00:37,383
She has to go.
She knows we suck.

1287
01:00:41,680 --> 01:00:43,014
Hey, Ramona.

1288
01:00:45,058 --> 01:00:46,309
Hey.

1289
01:00:47,644 --> 01:00:49,270
What the hell?

1290
01:00:58,238 --> 01:00:59,572
Hey.

1291
01:00:59,656 --> 01:01:01,032
Hey, Scott.

1292
01:01:01,116 --> 01:01:03,242
What the hell?

1293
01:01:03,327 --> 01:01:05,077
Look who Knives is
hanging out with.

1294
01:01:05,704 --> 01:01:06,871
RAMONA: Who is
that girl again?

1295
01:01:06,955 --> 01:01:07,955
Scott dated her.

1296
01:01:08,040 --> 01:01:09,081
Briefly, briefly.

1297
01:01:09,541 --> 01:01:10,791
How old is she?

1298
01:01:15,297 --> 01:01:16,505
l gotta pee on her.

1299
01:01:16,590 --> 01:01:19,467
l mean, l gotta pee.
Pee time.

1300
01:01:20,969 --> 01:01:24,388
ANNOUNCER:
And then it was time

1301
01:01:24,473 --> 01:01:28,142
for Toronto to drown
in the sweet sorrow

1302
01:01:28,226 --> 01:01:32,897
of The Clash at Demonhead!

1303
01:01:32,981 --> 01:01:33,981
(AUDlENCE CHEERlNG)

1304
01:01:36,234 --> 01:01:38,569
CROWD: Envy! Envy!

1305
01:01:40,947 --> 01:01:42,323
SCOTT: That guy on bass. . .

1306
01:01:42,407 --> 01:01:43,657
ENVY: (SlNGlNG)
Oh, yeah

1307
01:01:43,742 --> 01:01:45,034
. . .that's Todd.

1308
01:01:45,118 --> 01:01:46,202
l know.

1309
01:01:46,286 --> 01:01:47,787
Oh, yeah?

1310
01:01:48,789 --> 01:01:49,997
You know?

1311
01:01:50,082 --> 01:01:52,291
Oh, yeah!

1312
01:01:52,918 --> 01:01:54,585
Oh, no.

1313
01:01:54,920 --> 01:01:58,631
Hello, again,
friend of a friend

1314
01:01:58,715 --> 01:02:00,549
l knew you well

1315
01:02:02,594 --> 01:02:04,512
Our common goal

1316
01:02:04,596 --> 01:02:09,100
was waiting for
the world to end

1317
01:02:10,352 --> 01:02:12,269
Now that the truth

1318
01:02:12,354 --> 01:02:16,899
is just a rule
that you demand

1319
01:02:18,068 --> 01:02:19,860
You crack the whip

1320
01:02:19,945 --> 01:02:24,198
Shape-shift and trick
the past again

1321
01:02:24,282 --> 01:02:28,577
Send you my love on the wire

1322
01:02:28,662 --> 01:02:31,997
Lift you up, every time

1323
01:02:32,082 --> 01:02:34,750
Everyone

1324
01:02:35,961 --> 01:02:37,837
pulls away

1325
01:02:39,423 --> 01:02:42,633
from you

1326
01:02:43,135 --> 01:02:45,428
That was. . .
That was devastating.

1327
01:02:45,512 --> 01:02:47,471
Oh, my God.
Just, oh, my God.

1328
01:02:47,556 --> 01:02:50,558
Yeah,
you should see them live.
They're much better live.

1329
01:02:50,642 --> 01:02:51,892
l think l'm gonna throw up.

1330
01:02:51,977 --> 01:02:53,144
(JULlE GROANS)

1331
01:02:54,271 --> 01:02:55,813
l can't even believe
l'm saying this,

1332
01:02:55,897 --> 01:02:58,649
but Envy Adams
would like you all
to come backstage.

1333
01:02:58,733 --> 01:03:00,109
All of us?

1334
01:03:00,235 --> 01:03:01,652
Did l (BLEEP) stutter?

1335
01:03:05,407 --> 01:03:07,408
Wait, how do you know Envy?

1336
01:03:07,492 --> 01:03:08,576
Scott dated her.

1337
01:03:08,660 --> 01:03:09,660
(GASPS)

1338
01:03:13,665 --> 01:03:14,957
Hey, Ramona.

1339
01:03:15,792 --> 01:03:17,042
Hey, Todd.

1340
01:03:17,502 --> 01:03:19,086
lt's been awhile.

1341
01:03:19,546 --> 01:03:20,546
Mmm-hmm.

1342
01:03:21,047 --> 01:03:22,047
Mmm-hmm?

1343
01:03:22,883 --> 01:03:24,175
l think we should
get out of here.

1344
01:03:24,259 --> 01:03:26,218
So, how was the tour?
You guys play
with the Pixies?

1345
01:03:26,303 --> 01:03:27,803
You're like a superstar now.

1346
01:03:27,888 --> 01:03:30,598
Yeah,
it's not really something
l can put into words.

1347
01:03:30,682 --> 01:03:31,682
Um, Envy. . .

1348
01:03:32,934 --> 01:03:34,393
l read your blog.

1349
01:03:34,769 --> 01:03:37,771
So, Scott and Ramona, eh?

1350
01:03:37,856 --> 01:03:38,939
What of it?

1351
01:03:39,024 --> 01:03:40,107
You guys make
a cute couple,
you know?

1352
01:03:40,192 --> 01:03:41,275
(SCOFFS)

1353
01:03:41,359 --> 01:03:42,485
Suit each other.

1354
01:03:42,569 --> 01:03:44,820
You're my role model, Envy.

1355
01:03:44,905 --> 01:03:47,114
Ramona, l like your outfit.
Affordable?

1356
01:03:47,199 --> 01:03:49,200
Envy, l was just gonna say
did you get those jeans
in New York?

1357
01:03:49,284 --> 01:03:51,494
l'm talking to
Ramona right now.

1358
01:03:51,953 --> 01:03:52,995
Ramona lived in New York.

1359
01:03:53,121 --> 01:03:54,163
Did she?

1360
01:03:54,372 --> 01:03:57,625
l was just there.
Played the Chaos Theatre,
for Gideon.

1361
01:03:58,126 --> 01:03:59,210
You know him, right?

1362
01:03:59,377 --> 01:04:00,503
(GASPS)

1363
01:04:00,587 --> 01:04:02,296
l've kissed the lips
that kissed you !

1364
01:04:05,383 --> 01:04:06,383
(GRUNTlNG)

1365
01:04:07,093 --> 01:04:08,344
Knives!

1366
01:04:09,221 --> 01:04:10,304
TODD: What?

1367
01:04:10,388 --> 01:04:11,555
l'm not afraid
to hit a girl.

1368
01:04:13,475 --> 01:04:15,017
l'm a rock star.

1369
01:04:15,101 --> 01:04:16,268
NElL: Oh, my God !

1370
01:04:17,312 --> 01:04:19,647
You punched the highlights
out of her hair.

1371
01:04:21,358 --> 01:04:23,901
He punched the highlights
out of her hair!

1372
01:04:24,152 --> 01:04:26,028
You are incorrigible.

1373
01:04:26,238 --> 01:04:28,197
l don't know
the meaning of the word.

1374
01:04:30,158 --> 01:04:34,912
So, you guys
doing anything fun
while you're in town?

1375
01:04:35,455 --> 01:04:37,831
Fun? ln Toronto?

1376
01:04:38,458 --> 01:04:41,168
That's it! You cocky cock!

1377
01:04:41,628 --> 01:04:43,879
You'll pay
for your crimes
against humanity.

1378
01:04:44,297 --> 01:04:45,297
(GRUNTS)

1379
01:04:55,767 --> 01:04:57,434
(WHlMPERS) My neck.

1380
01:04:58,728 --> 01:04:59,812
Your hair.

1381
01:05:00,897 --> 01:05:02,273
ENVY: Didn't you know?

1382
01:05:02,482 --> 01:05:03,732
Todd's vegan.

1383
01:05:07,862 --> 01:05:09,071
(COUGHlNG)

1384
01:05:09,489 --> 01:05:10,489
Vegan?

1385
01:05:12,033 --> 01:05:13,867
lt's not really
that big of a deal.

1386
01:05:15,579 --> 01:05:16,912
No kidding.

1387
01:05:18,915 --> 01:05:20,416
Anyone can be vegan.

1388
01:05:21,251 --> 01:05:23,335
Ovo-lacto vegetarian maybe.

1389
01:05:23,545 --> 01:05:24,628
Ovo-what?

1390
01:05:25,255 --> 01:05:29,466
l partake not in the meat,
nor the breast milk,
nor the ovum

1391
01:05:29,551 --> 01:05:31,635
of any creature with a face.

1392
01:05:31,720 --> 01:05:32,886
ENVY: Short answer,

1393
01:05:32,971 --> 01:05:35,472
being vegan just makes you
better than most people.

1394
01:05:35,557 --> 01:05:36,640
Bingo.

1395
01:05:36,808 --> 01:05:38,058
(SCOTT SCREAMlNG)

1396
01:05:40,103 --> 01:05:41,562
STEPHEN:
Hey, man, question.

1397
01:05:41,980 --> 01:05:44,398
l always wondered,
how does not eating
dairy products

1398
01:05:44,482 --> 01:05:46,317
give you psychic powers?

1399
01:05:46,401 --> 01:05:47,901
Okay.

1400
01:05:47,986 --> 01:05:50,362
You know how you only use
1 0% of your brain?

1401
01:05:50,447 --> 01:05:52,740
That's because
the other 90% is filled
with curds and whey.

1402
01:05:52,824 --> 01:05:54,908
Did you learn that
at Vegan Academy?

1403
01:05:54,993 --> 01:05:56,410
Go ahead and
get snippy, baby.

1404
01:05:56,494 --> 01:05:58,954
lf you knew the science,
maybe l'd listen to
a word you're saying.

1405
01:05:59,122 --> 01:06:00,372
(SCOTT SCREAMlNG)

1406
01:06:03,793 --> 01:06:06,545
lf l peed my pants,
would you pretend
l just got wet from the rain?

1407
01:06:06,630 --> 01:06:07,671
lt's not raining.

1408
01:06:07,756 --> 01:06:08,756
Oh.

1409
01:06:09,007 --> 01:06:10,633
Then why don't you
give me the Cliff Notes

1410
01:06:10,717 --> 01:06:13,344
on how and why you
ended up dating
this A-hole.

1411
01:06:13,428 --> 01:06:14,762
ls that really
important right now?

1412
01:06:14,846 --> 01:06:16,764
Well, if there's
a key element
in his backstory

1413
01:06:16,848 --> 01:06:20,142
that's gonna help me out
in a critical moment
of not dying, yes.

1414
01:06:21,978 --> 01:06:25,230
l was only dating Lucas
until the minute
Todd walked by.

1415
01:06:25,899 --> 01:06:29,526
Guess that's not very nice,
but l used to be,
kind of like that.

1416
01:06:30,278 --> 01:06:33,614
We hated everyone.
We wrecked stuff.
Nobody cared.

1417
01:06:33,698 --> 01:06:35,866
He punched a hole
in the moon for me.

1418
01:06:35,950 --> 01:06:37,785
lt was pretty crazy.

1419
01:06:37,869 --> 01:06:39,078
A week and a half later
he told me

1420
01:06:39,162 --> 01:06:40,954
his dad was sending him
to Vegan Academy,

1421
01:06:41,706 --> 01:06:43,040
so l dumped him.

1422
01:06:43,667 --> 01:06:45,918
Have you dumped everyone
you've ever been with?

1423
01:06:46,002 --> 01:06:47,836
You've never been
the dumpee?

1424
01:06:47,921 --> 01:06:51,048
Look, l've dabbled
in being a bitch.

1425
01:06:51,132 --> 01:06:52,925
lt's part of the reason
l moved here.

1426
01:06:53,009 --> 01:06:56,303
l was really hoping
to just leave it all
behind me.

1427
01:06:56,388 --> 01:06:57,763
TODD: Hey, lovebirds. . .

1428
01:06:58,765 --> 01:07:01,058
We have unfinished business,
l and he.

1429
01:07:01,726 --> 01:07:02,976
He and me.

1430
01:07:03,061 --> 01:07:04,520
Don't you talk to me
about grammar.

1431
01:07:04,604 --> 01:07:06,480
l dislike you, capisce?

1432
01:07:06,564 --> 01:07:08,315
Tell it to
the cleaning lady
on Monday.

1433
01:07:08,400 --> 01:07:09,483
What?

1434
01:07:09,567 --> 01:07:11,068
Because you'll be dust
by Monday.

1435
01:07:11,736 --> 01:07:12,778
Um. . .

1436
01:07:12,862 --> 01:07:14,905
Because you'll be
pulverized in two seconds.

1437
01:07:14,989 --> 01:07:18,242
And the cleaning lady,
she cleans up dust.

1438
01:07:18,868 --> 01:07:20,411
She dusts.

1439
01:07:22,580 --> 01:07:23,997
So, what's on Monday?

1440
01:07:25,041 --> 01:07:29,169
Because it's Friday now.
She has the weekends off,
so. . .

1441
01:07:29,754 --> 01:07:31,714
Monday. Right?

1442
01:07:32,382 --> 01:07:33,716
Basically, you can't
win this fight.

1443
01:07:33,800 --> 01:07:34,967
You're gonna have
to give up this girl,

1444
01:07:35,051 --> 01:07:36,385
because Todd's
gonna kill you.

1445
01:07:37,262 --> 01:07:38,679
You used to be so nice!

1446
01:07:42,767 --> 01:07:43,934
(SCREAMlNG)

1447
01:07:50,942 --> 01:07:53,944
Scott, we're gonna go
to Pizza Pizza for a slice.

1448
01:07:54,028 --> 01:07:55,446
Call us when you're done.

1449
01:07:55,530 --> 01:07:58,115
He'll be done.
Real soon.

1450
01:08:01,536 --> 01:08:04,788
Sounds like someone
wants to get funky.

1451
01:08:05,081 --> 01:08:06,498
(BASS GUlTAR PLAYlNG)

1452
01:09:11,189 --> 01:09:12,523
(GRUNTlNG)

1453
01:09:18,655 --> 01:09:19,780
(GROANlNG)

1454
01:09:27,914 --> 01:09:32,042
l can read your thoughts.
Your will is broken.
You're through.

1455
01:09:32,544 --> 01:09:34,378
What say we drink
to my memory?

1456
01:09:34,546 --> 01:09:36,421
Fair trade blend
with soy milk?

1457
01:09:37,006 --> 01:09:38,924
(SCOFFS) l'm sorry,
but that's pathetic.

1458
01:09:39,008 --> 01:09:41,009
Dude, l can see
in your mind's eye.

1459
01:09:41,094 --> 01:09:43,220
You put half-and-half
into one of those coffees

1460
01:09:43,304 --> 01:09:45,514
in an attempt to
make me break vegan edge.

1461
01:09:45,598 --> 01:09:47,391
l'll take the one with soy.

1462
01:09:50,228 --> 01:09:52,062
Thanks, tool.

1463
01:09:53,398 --> 01:09:56,650
Actually, muchacho,
l poured the soy in this cup.

1464
01:09:56,734 --> 01:09:59,528
But l thought real hard
about pouring it in that cup.

1465
01:09:59,612 --> 01:10:02,531
You know,
in my mind's eye
or whatever.

1466
01:10:03,575 --> 01:10:05,075
What are you talking about?

1467
01:10:05,159 --> 01:10:06,577
You just drank
half-and-half, baby.

1468
01:10:08,413 --> 01:10:09,705
Freeze! Vegan police!

1469
01:10:09,789 --> 01:10:10,998
Vegan police!

1470
01:10:11,082 --> 01:10:14,585
Todd lngram,
you're under arrest
for veganity violation,

1471
01:10:14,669 --> 01:10:17,921
code number 827,
imbibement of half-and-half.

1472
01:10:18,464 --> 01:10:19,548
That's bullroar!

1473
01:10:19,632 --> 01:10:21,550
No vegan diet,
no vegan powers!

1474
01:10:21,634 --> 01:10:23,802
But it's only
my first offense.

1475
01:10:23,887 --> 01:10:25,012
Don't l get three strikes?
l mean. . .

1476
01:10:25,096 --> 01:10:26,471
Take it.

1477
01:10:27,390 --> 01:10:30,017
At 1 2:27 a.m.
on February 1 st,

1478
01:10:30,101 --> 01:10:31,393
you knowingly
ingested gelato.

1479
01:10:32,270 --> 01:10:33,353
Gelato isn't vegan?

1480
01:10:33,438 --> 01:10:34,855
lt's milk and eggs, bitch.

1481
01:10:34,939 --> 01:10:38,066
On April 4th, 7:30 p.m. ,
you partook
a plate of chicken parmesan.

1482
01:10:38,151 --> 01:10:39,151
(GASPS)

1483
01:10:39,736 --> 01:10:40,944
Chicken isn't vegan?

1484
01:10:41,613 --> 01:10:43,655
The de-veganizing ray.
Hit him.

1485
01:10:45,325 --> 01:10:46,325
(SCREAMlNG)

1486
01:10:59,797 --> 01:11:01,256
ENVY: Oh, my God !

1487
01:11:01,341 --> 01:11:03,884
No. No.

1488
01:11:04,969 --> 01:11:07,346
You once were a vegone,

1489
01:11:07,430 --> 01:11:09,640
but now you will be gone.

1490
01:11:09,807 --> 01:11:10,974
Vegone?

1491
01:11:25,907 --> 01:11:28,075
Yeah !
Yeah !

1492
01:11:33,998 --> 01:11:35,999
Sorry, l guess.

1493
01:11:37,210 --> 01:11:39,002
Sorry?

1494
01:11:39,295 --> 01:11:42,547
You just headbutted
my boyfriend so hard
he burst.

1495
01:11:43,633 --> 01:11:47,219
You kicked my heart
in the ass,
so l guess we're even.

1496
01:11:48,680 --> 01:11:50,180
Natalie.

1497
01:11:51,140 --> 01:11:55,352
Natalie? No one
calls me that anymore.

1498
01:11:57,063 --> 01:11:58,188
Maybe they should.

1499
01:12:01,192 --> 01:12:02,901
Let's get out of here.

1500
01:12:10,451 --> 01:12:13,370
For the record,
l am so pissed off
for you, right now.

1501
01:12:13,454 --> 01:12:15,288
Shut the (BLEEP) up, Julie.

1502
01:12:15,373 --> 01:12:16,665
Okay.

1503
01:12:17,834 --> 01:12:19,501
We're still going to
the after-party, right?

1504
01:12:19,585 --> 01:12:21,378
KlM: l'm not sure
there's going to be
much of a party.

1505
01:12:21,462 --> 01:12:23,130
l think a third of the band
just went "poom."

1506
01:12:23,214 --> 01:12:25,841
Yeah, cool bands never go
to their own after-parties.

1507
01:12:25,925 --> 01:12:28,677
Just the desperate people
trying to rub elbows
with the label guys.

1508
01:12:28,761 --> 01:12:30,721
Then why would we. . . Oh.

1509
01:12:30,805 --> 01:12:32,889
Neil, you down?

1510
01:12:32,974 --> 01:12:34,266
Scott, you're in, right?

1511
01:12:35,268 --> 01:12:36,393
You wanna go?

1512
01:12:36,477 --> 01:12:39,771
Well, l kind of
almost died back there.

1513
01:12:39,856 --> 01:12:40,897
l'm not saying
l want to go.

1514
01:12:41,065 --> 01:12:42,107
Yeah. We can totally go.

1515
01:12:42,191 --> 01:12:43,191
l'll do whatever
you want to do.

1516
01:12:43,276 --> 01:12:44,276
So, let's go.

1517
01:12:45,528 --> 01:12:47,237
RAMONA: We really
don't have to go
to this thing.

1518
01:12:47,321 --> 01:12:49,114
lt'll probably be
a bad scene all around.

1519
01:12:49,198 --> 01:12:51,533
No, l'm fine.
lt's just. . .

1520
01:12:51,784 --> 01:12:53,243
lt's just. . .
Well. . .

1521
01:12:54,454 --> 01:12:57,497
Have you ever dated someone
that wasn't a total ass?

1522
01:12:57,582 --> 01:12:59,332
So far,
you're not a total ass.

1523
01:12:59,417 --> 01:13:00,584
But l'm part ass?

1524
01:13:00,668 --> 01:13:02,794
lf it makes you feel better,
you're the nicest guy
l've dated.

1525
01:13:02,879 --> 01:13:03,879
Wait, is that good?

1526
01:13:03,963 --> 01:13:05,130
lt's what l need right now.

1527
01:13:05,214 --> 01:13:06,214
But not later?

1528
01:13:06,299 --> 01:13:08,133
Scott, l don't have
all the answers, okay?

1529
01:13:08,217 --> 01:13:10,927
l'd just like to try
and live in the moment
if l can.

1530
01:13:11,012 --> 01:13:12,596
l'd just like to live.

1531
01:13:13,056 --> 01:13:14,514
RAMONA: Look, l know
Todd was bad news,

1532
01:13:14,599 --> 01:13:16,016
but are you saying
Envy wasn't?

1533
01:13:16,100 --> 01:13:17,434
We all have baggage.

1534
01:13:17,518 --> 01:13:20,562
Well, my baggage
doesn't try and kill me
every five minutes.

1535
01:13:20,646 --> 01:13:22,522
What did you do to make
your ex-boyfriend so insane?

1536
01:13:22,607 --> 01:13:23,899
Exes.
Whatever.

1537
01:13:23,983 --> 01:13:26,151
No breakup is painless,
somebody always gets hurt.

1538
01:13:26,235 --> 01:13:28,779
What about you
and that girl, Knives?
Who broke up with who?

1539
01:13:28,863 --> 01:13:31,448
l believe
l broke up with her.

1540
01:13:31,532 --> 01:13:32,824
And was she cool with that?

1541
01:13:32,909 --> 01:13:35,368
Knives is with
Young Neil now.
She's totally cool with it.

1542
01:13:35,453 --> 01:13:36,453
You sure about that?

1543
01:13:36,537 --> 01:13:38,080
Yeah, she's very mature
for her age.

1544
01:13:38,164 --> 01:13:39,414
We had a very
healthy breakup.

1545
01:13:39,499 --> 01:13:40,707
We're all peaches and gravy.

1546
01:13:40,833 --> 01:13:42,084
KNlVES: (ECHOlNG) No!

1547
01:13:42,251 --> 01:13:43,710
What about you and Kim?

1548
01:13:43,795 --> 01:13:45,962
Me and Kim?
l can barely remember.

1549
01:13:46,047 --> 01:13:48,048
lt was high school.
She had freckles.

1550
01:13:48,257 --> 01:13:49,299
That's it?

1551
01:13:49,383 --> 01:13:52,385
Yeah, it kind of ended.
We changed.

1552
01:13:52,470 --> 01:13:53,553
That's really
the whole story?

1553
01:13:53,638 --> 01:13:55,514
Okay, fine,
l had to fight a guy
to be with her. Okay?

1554
01:13:55,598 --> 01:13:58,225
l fought a crazy,
80-foot-tall,
purple-suited dude

1555
01:13:58,309 --> 01:14:00,393
and l had to fight
96 guys to get to him.

1556
01:14:00,478 --> 01:14:03,105
He was flying and
shooting lightning bolts
from his eyes, okay?

1557
01:14:03,189 --> 01:14:05,607
And l kicked him so hard
that he saw
the curvature of the earth.

1558
01:14:05,691 --> 01:14:08,110
Does that make
you feel any better?

1559
01:14:08,194 --> 01:14:10,987
Well, now you are
being a total ass.
Welcome to the club.

1560
01:14:11,823 --> 01:14:14,032
l'm sorry.
l'm not usually like this.

1561
01:14:14,117 --> 01:14:17,661
Hey, don't worry.
l don't even know
what l'm like anymore.

1562
01:14:18,538 --> 01:14:21,331
l think this
ex-boyfriends thing is
messing with my head.

1563
01:14:21,415 --> 01:14:22,791
Exes.
Why do you keep saying that?

1564
01:14:22,875 --> 01:14:23,875
(GRUNTlNG)

1565
01:14:30,383 --> 01:14:32,008
SCOTT: The girl from earlier?

1566
01:14:32,677 --> 01:14:34,594
Roxy?
You know this girl?

1567
01:14:34,679 --> 01:14:37,681
Boy, does she know me.

1568
01:14:37,890 --> 01:14:40,100
What is she talking about?

1569
01:14:40,309 --> 01:14:41,893
He really doesn't know?

1570
01:14:43,312 --> 01:14:44,354
Wait.

1571
01:14:45,231 --> 01:14:46,231
Hmm?

1572
01:14:49,152 --> 01:14:51,111
You and her?
lt was just a phase.

1573
01:14:51,195 --> 01:14:52,821
Just a phase?
You had a sexy phase?

1574
01:14:52,905 --> 01:14:54,406
lt meant nothing.
l didn't think
it would count.

1575
01:14:54,490 --> 01:14:55,532
lt meant nothing?

1576
01:14:55,616 --> 01:14:56,825
l was just
a little bi-curious.

1577
01:14:56,909 --> 01:14:58,451
Well, honey,

1578
01:14:58,536 --> 01:15:01,413
l'm a little bi-furious.

1579
01:15:13,092 --> 01:15:15,177
Do that again
and l will end you.

1580
01:15:15,261 --> 01:15:16,720
Back off, hasbian.

1581
01:15:17,221 --> 01:15:19,723
lf Gideon can't have you,
no one can.

1582
01:15:21,434 --> 01:15:23,476
The League has spoken.

1583
01:15:24,395 --> 01:15:26,646
Well, then Gideon
best get his pretentious
ass up here

1584
01:15:26,731 --> 01:15:29,399
because l'm about to
kick yours out of
the Great White North.

1585
01:15:29,483 --> 01:15:30,525
(EXCLAlMlNG)

1586
01:15:43,748 --> 01:15:44,998
Wallace?
Uh-huh?

1587
01:15:45,708 --> 01:15:47,292
This is happening, right?
Oh, yeah.

1588
01:15:47,501 --> 01:15:49,002
Kick her in the balls.

1589
01:15:49,337 --> 01:15:50,921
(BOTH GRUNTlNG)

1590
01:16:11,692 --> 01:16:12,901
l'm sending you
back to Gideon

1591
01:16:12,985 --> 01:16:14,736
in a thousand pieces,
you slag !

1592
01:16:15,780 --> 01:16:17,113
(CROWD EXCLAlMlNG)

1593
01:16:17,198 --> 01:16:18,198
Ha!

1594
01:16:23,829 --> 01:16:25,372
l'd rather be dead
than go back.

1595
01:16:25,456 --> 01:16:26,790
He's a creep,
you're a bitch,

1596
01:16:26,874 --> 01:16:28,041
and you all deserve
each other.

1597
01:16:28,125 --> 01:16:30,293
Give it a rest, Ramona.
This is a League game.

1598
01:16:30,378 --> 01:16:31,461
Meaning?

1599
01:16:31,545 --> 01:16:35,131
Meaning your precious Scott
must defeat me
with his own fists.

1600
01:16:37,301 --> 01:16:40,512
l don't think
l can hit a girl.
They're soft.

1601
01:16:40,596 --> 01:16:41,721
You don't have a choice.

1602
01:16:45,309 --> 01:16:46,476
(BOTH GRUNTlNG)

1603
01:17:01,075 --> 01:17:02,993
Fight your own battles,
lazy ass!

1604
01:17:09,583 --> 01:17:10,709
Lazy ass!

1605
01:17:10,835 --> 01:17:11,835
(GRUNTS)

1606
01:17:17,675 --> 01:17:19,676
Every Pilgrim reaches
the end of his journey.

1607
01:17:20,386 --> 01:17:21,678
Some sooner than others.

1608
01:17:22,013 --> 01:17:23,013
(GRUNTlNG)

1609
01:17:24,348 --> 01:17:28,685
Your BF's about to
get F'd in the B.

1610
01:17:29,186 --> 01:17:31,813
Her weak point is
the back of her knees.

1611
01:17:31,897 --> 01:17:33,606
Wait, how does that work?

1612
01:17:33,816 --> 01:17:36,276
Whenever
we were making out
l would just. . .

1613
01:17:36,360 --> 01:17:37,819
Okay, enough.

1614
01:17:40,197 --> 01:17:41,197
(GASPS)

1615
01:17:41,824 --> 01:17:42,824
(WHlMPERS)

1616
01:17:46,203 --> 01:17:51,750
You'll never be
able to do this to her.

1617
01:17:54,670 --> 01:17:55,670
(ROXY MOANlNG)

1618
01:18:02,845 --> 01:18:04,179
(PEOPLE LAUGHlNG)

1619
01:18:05,723 --> 01:18:06,890
So. . .

1620
01:18:06,974 --> 01:18:08,391
Two gin-and-tonics, please?

1621
01:18:08,476 --> 01:18:09,642
l thought you didn't drink.

1622
01:18:09,727 --> 01:18:12,562
Only on special occasions.
Why? Did you want one?

1623
01:18:13,230 --> 01:18:15,607
Guess we really
don't know that much
about each other, do we?

1624
01:18:15,691 --> 01:18:18,651
Maybe you could
just give me a list
of all of your exes

1625
01:18:18,736 --> 01:18:20,362
so that l can
at least know
who's going to

1626
01:18:20,446 --> 01:18:22,030
beat my ass
into the ground next.

1627
01:18:22,114 --> 01:18:24,783
Like a handy little
laminate or something?
Let me see if l have one.

1628
01:18:24,867 --> 01:18:26,326
Maybe we could
exchange our information.

1629
01:18:26,410 --> 01:18:28,787
Hey, just out of
sheer curiosity
and concern

1630
01:18:28,871 --> 01:18:30,121
for my mortal well-being,

1631
01:18:30,206 --> 01:18:33,249
is there anyone at this party
that you haven't slept with?

1632
01:18:34,627 --> 01:18:35,877
(SlGHS)

1633
01:18:37,963 --> 01:18:39,672
l think we should split.

1634
01:18:39,757 --> 01:18:42,175
As in get out of here,
or as in split, split?

1635
01:18:42,259 --> 01:18:43,718
l'd hope you could
figure that out.

1636
01:18:43,803 --> 01:18:45,762
Or did you miss the part
where l saved your ass?

1637
01:18:45,846 --> 01:18:48,556
How could l?
l feel like we just washed
our sexy laundry in public.

1638
01:18:48,641 --> 01:18:49,891
Dirty laundry.
You're drunk.

1639
01:18:50,226 --> 01:18:51,226
l had, like, one drink.

1640
01:18:51,310 --> 01:18:55,021
l'm sorry l cared.
l don't enjoy all this, Scott.
ln fact, l'm sick of it.

1641
01:18:55,106 --> 01:18:56,106
l thought you might be
more understanding.

1642
01:18:56,273 --> 01:18:57,357
l just. . .

1643
01:18:57,441 --> 01:18:59,943
You're just another evil ex
waiting to happen.

1644
01:19:02,655 --> 01:19:04,572
That was harsh.

1645
01:19:05,950 --> 01:19:07,909
That was not good.

1646
01:19:09,495 --> 01:19:11,121
That was embarrassing.

1647
01:19:12,289 --> 01:19:13,498
One more.

1648
01:19:13,582 --> 01:19:15,583
P.S. Here's your stupid list.

1649
01:19:17,253 --> 01:19:20,213
Matthew Patel, Lucas Lee,
Todd lngram, Roxy Richter.

1650
01:19:20,297 --> 01:19:23,007
Who the hell are
the Katayanagi Twins?

1651
01:19:23,092 --> 01:19:24,467
STEPHEN: Oh !

1652
01:19:25,469 --> 01:19:26,803
You don't know?

1653
01:19:27,096 --> 01:19:28,221
The Katayanagi Twins

1654
01:19:28,305 --> 01:19:30,723
just happen to be
the next band in the battle.

1655
01:19:31,308 --> 01:19:34,519
They are totally bad-ass.

1656
01:19:34,603 --> 01:19:36,563
Ramona dated twins?
Apparently.

1657
01:19:36,647 --> 01:19:37,730
At the same time?

1658
01:19:37,815 --> 01:19:38,815
You know what?

1659
01:19:38,899 --> 01:19:40,233
l don't know
and l don't want to know.

1660
01:19:40,317 --> 01:19:43,069
Good. Because you know
how l feel about girls
blocking the rock.

1661
01:19:43,154 --> 01:19:44,737
Good, l play better
when l'm in a bad mood.

1662
01:19:44,822 --> 01:19:45,947
lf it's gonna be
an issue though,

1663
01:19:46,031 --> 01:19:47,073
Young Neil can
fill in for you.

1664
01:19:47,158 --> 01:19:48,491
lt's not an issue.
You know bands,

1665
01:19:48,576 --> 01:19:49,993
l know battles.
We got it covered.

1666
01:19:50,202 --> 01:19:51,995
But we'd understand
if you didn't want
to take part.

1667
01:19:52,079 --> 01:19:53,371
Not only do l
want to take part

1668
01:19:53,456 --> 01:19:55,248
l want to take them apart.

1669
01:19:55,666 --> 01:19:57,709
Okay, l'm getting tingles.

1670
01:19:57,793 --> 01:19:58,877
Whoa!

1671
01:20:00,588 --> 01:20:02,422
Okay, we're doomed.
Oh !

1672
01:20:02,506 --> 01:20:04,799
That poster needs
more exclamation marks.

1673
01:20:05,384 --> 01:20:06,843
STEPHEN: Oh, man,
we're gonna get killed.

1674
01:20:06,927 --> 01:20:08,511
Come on, we're going
on in five minutes.

1675
01:20:09,013 --> 01:20:10,972
Wait, aren't the Katayanagis
going on first?

1676
01:20:11,056 --> 01:20:13,516
l think
you're both on first.

1677
01:20:13,809 --> 01:20:16,102
Wait, "Amp versus amp"?

1678
01:20:16,187 --> 01:20:17,812
We're going on stage
at the same time?

1679
01:20:17,897 --> 01:20:19,230
That's impossible.

1680
01:20:20,733 --> 01:20:21,983
SCOTT: Okay, my bad.

1681
01:20:22,067 --> 01:20:24,110
Your bad is
saying, "My bad."

1682
01:20:24,528 --> 01:20:28,114
(SlGHS)
We shouldn't even be here.
We shouldn't even be here!

1683
01:20:28,199 --> 01:20:30,533
Come on, man !
l put my problems
aside for the music.

1684
01:20:30,618 --> 01:20:31,951
lf l can do that,
we can do anything.

1685
01:20:32,036 --> 01:20:33,578
Did you speak
to Ramona, then?

1686
01:20:33,662 --> 01:20:36,539
What? No.
l haven't seen her
since the other night.

1687
01:20:36,624 --> 01:20:37,624
Oh.

1688
01:20:37,708 --> 01:20:39,000
She's totally here.

1689
01:20:40,044 --> 01:20:41,419
(lNAUDlBLE)

1690
01:20:41,921 --> 01:20:43,046
Scott?

1691
01:20:44,048 --> 01:20:45,423
Not that l care,

1692
01:20:45,508 --> 01:20:47,550
but you should go talk to her
before she's gone.

1693
01:20:48,135 --> 01:20:49,135
Thanks, Kim.

1694
01:20:49,220 --> 01:20:50,345
And l really don't care.

1695
01:20:52,223 --> 01:20:53,681
GlDEON: l didn't mean to
put you through all that.

1696
01:20:53,766 --> 01:20:56,309
l only did it
because l love you.
You know that.

1697
01:21:06,529 --> 01:21:07,570
(ELECTRONlC MUSlC PLAYlNG)

1698
01:21:24,046 --> 01:21:25,588
(PLAYlNG HlGH NOTE)

1699
01:21:30,219 --> 01:21:31,219
(HARMONlZlNG)

1700
01:21:33,806 --> 01:21:35,598
Okay, gang,
can we do this?

1701
01:21:36,225 --> 01:21:37,433
l mean,
we can do this, right?

1702
01:21:37,518 --> 01:21:38,601
Right.

1703
01:21:38,686 --> 01:21:39,936
Scott?

1704
01:21:41,855 --> 01:21:42,939
Scott!

1705
01:22:00,666 --> 01:22:02,458
They tore the roof off!

1706
01:22:03,586 --> 01:22:04,877
(WHOOPlNG)

1707
01:22:06,547 --> 01:22:07,797
We are Sex Bob-Omb

1708
01:22:07,881 --> 01:22:10,842
and we're here to make you
think about death
and get sad and stuff!

1709
01:22:11,093 --> 01:22:12,302
(PLAYlNG ROCK MUSlC)

1710
01:22:13,512 --> 01:22:15,597
This is the beginning
of the song.

1711
01:22:16,515 --> 01:22:19,225
(SlNGlNG)
l'm hearing voices,
animal noises

1712
01:22:19,310 --> 01:22:20,643
The crème de la crème

1713
01:22:20,728 --> 01:22:22,228
The feminine abyss

1714
01:22:22,313 --> 01:22:25,815
And reaching my threshold
Staring at
the truth 'til l'm blind

1715
01:22:27,901 --> 01:22:29,319
My body's stupid

1716
01:22:29,403 --> 01:22:30,737
Stereo putrid

1717
01:22:30,821 --> 01:22:32,363
Spilling out music

1718
01:22:32,448 --> 01:22:33,781
lnto raw sewage

1719
01:22:33,866 --> 01:22:37,035
Reaching my threshold
Staring at
the truth 'til l'm blind

1720
01:22:42,458 --> 01:22:47,879
My threshold

1721
01:22:48,213 --> 01:22:50,089
Reaching

1722
01:22:50,924 --> 01:22:53,760
My threshold

1723
01:22:57,556 --> 01:22:59,057
(CROWD CHEERlNG)

1724
01:23:04,855 --> 01:23:07,899
(GROANlNG) Let's just
break up now
and get it over with.

1725
01:23:07,983 --> 01:23:11,486
We screwed the pooch
in front of Gideon Graves.
We're done!

1726
01:23:11,570 --> 01:23:13,488
Gideon's here? Where?

1727
01:23:13,572 --> 01:23:15,698
That geeky guy
next to your girlfriend.

1728
01:23:17,868 --> 01:23:19,410
That's Gideon?

1729
01:23:19,495 --> 01:23:21,704
Gideon is G-Man?

1730
01:23:22,122 --> 01:23:24,040
All right, let's do this.

1731
01:23:26,502 --> 01:23:28,961
(SlNGlNG)
Reaching my threshold

1732
01:23:29,046 --> 01:23:37,512
My threshold

1733
01:23:40,015 --> 01:23:41,182
(ROARlNG)

1734
01:23:42,851 --> 01:23:44,185
(HARMONlZlNG)

1735
01:24:11,213 --> 01:24:12,588
(ROARlNG)

1736
01:24:23,559 --> 01:24:24,726
GlDEON: We're out.

1737
01:24:26,437 --> 01:24:27,437
(BEEPlNG)

1738
01:24:29,398 --> 01:24:30,648
What are you doing?

1739
01:24:30,733 --> 01:24:31,941
Getting a life.

1740
01:24:45,622 --> 01:24:47,999
l just came to
see your show.

1741
01:24:51,128 --> 01:24:52,378
l have to. . .

1742
01:25:00,304 --> 01:25:01,888
Ramona.

1743
01:25:02,639 --> 01:25:05,516
Ramona, l need to
tell you something.

1744
01:25:05,601 --> 01:25:06,893
Yeah, l have something
l have to tell you, too.

1745
01:25:06,977 --> 01:25:09,020
Great. Listen,
l know you play
mysterious and aloof

1746
01:25:09,104 --> 01:25:10,521
just to avoid getting hurt.

1747
01:25:10,606 --> 01:25:14,692
l know you have reasons
for not wanting to talk
about your past.

1748
01:25:14,777 --> 01:25:18,404
l want you to know
l don't care about
any of that stuff

1749
01:25:18,489 --> 01:25:20,406
because
l'm in lesbians with you.

1750
01:25:20,866 --> 01:25:21,908
What?

1751
01:25:21,992 --> 01:25:23,326
l really, really mean it.

1752
01:25:25,704 --> 01:25:27,330
Oh ! Okay.

1753
01:25:27,414 --> 01:25:28,956
lt's your turn.
What did you want
to tell me?

1754
01:25:30,751 --> 01:25:32,293
That we have to break up.

1755
01:25:33,378 --> 01:25:34,545
What?

1756
01:25:34,630 --> 01:25:36,088
lt's Gideon.

1757
01:25:36,965 --> 01:25:38,591
l just can't. . .

1758
01:25:41,011 --> 01:25:42,428
l can't help myself
around him.

1759
01:25:42,513 --> 01:25:44,388
GlDEON: That's the bad news.

1760
01:25:45,182 --> 01:25:46,432
Hey.

1761
01:25:46,517 --> 01:25:49,894
The good news
is that l'm officially
loving the Sex-Bombs.

1762
01:25:49,978 --> 01:25:51,562
Bob-Omb.
Three-piece rock outfit

1763
01:25:51,647 --> 01:25:54,023
with a smoking hot
red-head on drums.

1764
01:25:54,107 --> 01:25:55,942
Music to my ear-holes.

1765
01:25:56,026 --> 01:25:56,984
(MOANS)

1766
01:25:57,069 --> 01:25:58,986
You know what?
l'm not even going to wait

1767
01:25:59,071 --> 01:26:00,530
to see how you guys
do in the final.

1768
01:26:00,614 --> 01:26:03,032
l'm signing you right now
for a three-album contract.

1769
01:26:03,700 --> 01:26:06,577
See? l'm not such
a bad guy after all.

1770
01:26:07,329 --> 01:26:09,956
You think we're going to
sell our souls to you?
Well, guess again.

1771
01:26:10,040 --> 01:26:13,376
No,
l can't be a part of the band
with this douche in charge.

1772
01:26:13,877 --> 01:26:15,586
Ow! Scott.

1773
01:26:16,088 --> 01:26:18,756
You got to try and
keep your emotions
in check, man.

1774
01:26:18,841 --> 01:26:21,509
Don't let what's past
ruin your future.

1775
01:26:21,593 --> 01:26:23,177
The people need
to hear us, Scott.

1776
01:26:23,262 --> 01:26:25,847
Then you're gonna
have to find someone else
to play bass.

1777
01:26:25,931 --> 01:26:27,265
(CLEARlNG THROAT)

1778
01:26:27,683 --> 01:26:28,683
Whoops.

1779
01:26:29,726 --> 01:26:33,479
Sign, sign, sign,
and we are all set.

1780
01:26:33,897 --> 01:26:35,982
Sweetie, shall we?

1781
01:26:42,739 --> 01:26:44,657
Oh ! Scott.

1782
01:26:45,242 --> 01:26:47,493
You know,
we really should be
thanking each other.

1783
01:26:47,578 --> 01:26:50,288
l mean, if it wasn't for me,
Ramona would
never have been with you

1784
01:26:50,372 --> 01:26:52,373
but if it wasn't for you
she wouldn't have
gotten back with me,

1785
01:26:52,457 --> 01:26:54,333
so l guess
it all shakes out.

1786
01:26:55,794 --> 01:26:57,628
Scotty, buddy,

1787
01:26:59,965 --> 01:27:03,718
between you and l,
the whole League
of Evil Exes thing?

1788
01:27:04,386 --> 01:27:07,680
l was in a really dark place
when l put that together,
so. . .

1789
01:27:08,640 --> 01:27:09,932
Forgiven?

1790
01:27:10,392 --> 01:27:12,226
All right, let's go.

1791
01:27:12,936 --> 01:27:14,145
Yes!

1792
01:27:14,938 --> 01:27:18,024
This is it, guys.
We are on our way.

1793
01:27:21,737 --> 01:27:23,446
l said "lesbians."

1794
01:27:34,249 --> 01:27:35,249
(THUDDlNG)

1795
01:27:51,850 --> 01:27:53,434
STACEY: Scott.

1796
01:27:54,478 --> 01:27:55,811
Was she really the one?

1797
01:27:56,605 --> 01:27:57,730
The what?

1798
01:27:57,814 --> 01:28:00,149
l mean, did you
really see a future
with this girl?

1799
01:28:01,276 --> 01:28:04,654
Like, with jetpacks.

1800
01:28:11,078 --> 01:28:13,621
Time heals all wounds,
little brother.

1801
01:28:13,705 --> 01:28:18,167
Maybe next time
we don't date the girl
with 1 1 evil ex-boyfriends.

1802
01:28:18,502 --> 01:28:19,502
Seven.

1803
01:28:19,670 --> 01:28:20,711
That's not that bad.

1804
01:28:21,004 --> 01:28:22,004
(CELL PHONE BEEPS)

1805
01:28:23,006 --> 01:28:24,757
Hey. Yeah, l know.

1806
01:28:24,967 --> 01:28:27,343
lt's so pathetic!

1807
01:28:30,013 --> 01:28:31,931
(SCREAMS)
WALLACE:
Turn off the light!

1808
01:28:33,058 --> 01:28:34,433
(WALLACE CLEARS THROAT)

1809
01:28:35,018 --> 01:28:37,728
Presumably,
you just saw
some guy's junk

1810
01:28:38,063 --> 01:28:39,271
and l apologize for that.

1811
01:28:39,356 --> 01:28:40,398
SCOTT: Okay.

1812
01:28:40,482 --> 01:28:42,191
And he apologizes, too.

1813
01:28:42,275 --> 01:28:43,359
MAN: Sorry.

1814
01:28:44,736 --> 01:28:47,655
WALLACE: Scott,
you know l love you.

1815
01:28:48,323 --> 01:28:50,324
But l'm gonna need
my own bed tonight.

1816
01:28:50,867 --> 01:28:52,535
lt's for sex.

1817
01:28:53,036 --> 01:28:54,245
Right.

1818
01:28:54,997 --> 01:28:58,040
l may need it for
the rest of the week, too.

1819
01:28:58,375 --> 01:28:59,583
Right.

1820
01:28:59,668 --> 01:29:00,751
And the year.

1821
01:29:01,378 --> 01:29:02,628
l get it.

1822
01:29:02,713 --> 01:29:04,422
Maybe you can
move in with Ramona.

1823
01:29:05,882 --> 01:29:07,133
She's with Gideon.

1824
01:29:07,217 --> 01:29:08,467
Oh, man.

1825
01:29:08,552 --> 01:29:10,636
That's probably just because
he's better than you.

1826
01:29:10,721 --> 01:29:11,804
Mmm.

1827
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