1 00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:12,074 The Venom - $5 million GTD Poker Tourney Download AmericasCardroom.com 2 00:00:53,356 --> 00:00:56,318 What's happening right now is important only in the context... 3 00:00:56,402 --> 00:00:58,612 of our continuing evolution as a species. 4 00:00:58,737 --> 00:01:02,034 Roger, all I'm saying is that I wish my sister would learn to read a subway map. 5 00:01:02,159 --> 00:01:04,245 By saying that, you disregard the primary importance... 6 00:01:04,328 --> 00:01:06,832 of utility in human relationships. 7 00:01:06,957 --> 00:01:10,086 Our ability-- Men's ability to read maps... 8 00:01:10,170 --> 00:01:11,629 to navigate, makes us useful. 9 00:01:11,713 --> 00:01:14,633 You should discourage your sister from even looking at a map. 10 00:01:14,675 --> 00:01:18,805 Are you saying that we women have an inferior sense of direction? 11 00:01:19,682 --> 00:01:21,809 Which way is north,Joyce, without looking around? 12 00:01:21,851 --> 00:01:23,312 What? 13 00:01:23,437 --> 00:01:25,314 You heard me. Point north. Quick. North. 14 00:01:25,439 --> 00:01:26,691 Quick. North. 15 00:01:26,816 --> 00:01:28,319 North. North. 16 00:01:30,571 --> 00:01:32,823 - You're right. - Is he right? 17 00:01:32,948 --> 00:01:34,659 - He's right. - Very impressive. 18 00:01:34,743 --> 00:01:36,913 As she has throughout history... 19 00:01:36,996 --> 00:01:40,501 the female responds to the male who displays the most utility. 20 00:01:40,626 --> 00:01:43,462 By honing those skills which make me useful... 21 00:01:43,587 --> 00:01:46,884 I stave off my inevitable obsolescence. 22 00:01:47,009 --> 00:01:49,596 You stay home honing your ability to program a VCR? 23 00:01:49,763 --> 00:01:52,850 My VCR's been flashing 12:00 for three years. 24 00:01:54,185 --> 00:01:56,063 What else, Roger? 25 00:01:56,188 --> 00:02:00,109 Oh, driving a standard shift. Lifting heavy things. 26 00:02:00,193 --> 00:02:02,278 - Air guitar. - Yes, yes. 27 00:02:02,362 --> 00:02:04,198 Go ahead and chuckle, okay? 28 00:02:04,323 --> 00:02:07,619 But until women evolve the ability to move objects telepathically-- 29 00:02:07,661 --> 00:02:09,163 and they will-- 30 00:02:09,288 --> 00:02:11,415 physical strength remains a primary utility. 31 00:02:11,541 --> 00:02:13,377 Here's to brute strength then. 32 00:02:15,463 --> 00:02:19,927 Roger, you're forgetting a very important male utility. 33 00:02:20,052 --> 00:02:21,303 What's that? Barbecuing? 34 00:02:24,517 --> 00:02:25,559 Sex. 35 00:02:25,684 --> 00:02:30,023 Yeah. I want a guy to do more than just program my VCR. 36 00:02:30,107 --> 00:02:34,070 Oh, I'll program your VCR, baby, like you never had it. 37 00:02:34,112 --> 00:02:36,406 It's a top-loader. You think you can handle that? 38 00:02:36,489 --> 00:02:39,035 Interestingly, a group of scientists in England... 39 00:02:39,160 --> 00:02:41,955 just announced their intention to fertilize an egg... 40 00:02:42,081 --> 00:02:44,041 without the use of sperm cells. 41 00:02:45,752 --> 00:02:47,045 I don't understand that. 42 00:02:47,171 --> 00:02:51,134 Every cell in the human body contains a copy of the genome pattern. 43 00:02:51,217 --> 00:02:54,221 The only reason sperm cells have all the fun is that up until now... 44 00:02:54,346 --> 00:02:56,266 they were the only ones with access. 45 00:02:56,349 --> 00:02:58,561 Within Christopher's lifetime, artificial insemination... 46 00:02:58,643 --> 00:03:02,149 will render sperm as useless as an assembly line worker in Detroit. 47 00:03:02,274 --> 00:03:05,612 Luckily, my accountant set up a golden parachute for my sperm years ago. 48 00:03:05,695 --> 00:03:07,864 In case they were downsized. 49 00:03:09,283 --> 00:03:12,829 Just so you know, Roger, you know that we women... 50 00:03:14,080 --> 00:03:16,584 make love because we like it. 51 00:03:16,751 --> 00:03:18,794 - Not just to procreate. - Yes. 52 00:03:18,920 --> 00:03:22,800 - But are men absolutely necessary? - I don't know that. 53 00:03:22,926 --> 00:03:24,803 Think of the structure of the female genitalia. 54 00:03:24,928 --> 00:03:27,598 Wait. Wait. Okay, got it. 55 00:03:28,766 --> 00:03:31,269 What is the most sensitive part of the vagina? 56 00:03:31,394 --> 00:03:35,234 -I can't believe we've gotten into this. -I think you know this, Donovan. 57 00:03:35,275 --> 00:03:39,280 It's the clitoris, first discovered by Renaldus Columbus in 1559. 58 00:03:39,364 --> 00:03:40,657 He thought it was lndia. 59 00:03:42,743 --> 00:03:44,828 Oh, no! No! 60 00:03:44,954 --> 00:03:48,124 The crown of the clitoris contains 8,000 nerve fibers. 61 00:03:48,208 --> 00:03:51,129 It's a far great concentration than in any part of the male body... 62 00:03:51,171 --> 00:03:52,421 even our fingertips. 63 00:03:52,547 --> 00:03:55,634 It is the most efficient, pleasure-delivery system... 64 00:03:55,759 --> 00:03:57,428 ever devised by nature. 65 00:03:57,554 --> 00:03:59,138 Now, ask yourself... 66 00:03:59,264 --> 00:04:02,435 why didn't the clitoris end up inside the vagina... 67 00:04:02,560 --> 00:04:05,021 so that intercourse would be naturally... 68 00:04:05,147 --> 00:04:07,775 compellingly, constantly pleasurable for a woman? 69 00:04:07,942 --> 00:04:10,152 - I know the answer. - Yes, Ms. Maynard. 70 00:04:10,278 --> 00:04:15,076 Because in primitive time, women died of childbirth. 71 00:04:15,159 --> 00:04:17,997 So for intercourse to be too pleasurable... 72 00:04:18,163 --> 00:04:20,709 wouldn't make sense from a Darwinian standpoint. 73 00:04:20,834 --> 00:04:23,796 - I'm impressed. - Absolutely right. 74 00:04:23,921 --> 00:04:27,009 - What does that tell us? - Evolution is looking out for us girls? 75 00:04:27,134 --> 00:04:28,886 - Exactly. - That for women... 76 00:04:29,011 --> 00:04:32,765 intercourse and sexual fulfillment were never intended to intersect. 77 00:04:34,226 --> 00:04:36,353 New technology just makes it official. 78 00:04:36,478 --> 00:04:41,402 Future generations of women will evolve clitorises-- "clitori, clitorati"-- 79 00:04:41,444 --> 00:04:42,779 "Clitorissimo." 80 00:04:46,618 --> 00:04:50,206 that are larger, longer, even more sensitive. 81 00:04:50,331 --> 00:04:53,418 And a woman's ability, as well as her desire to self-stimulate... 82 00:04:53,543 --> 00:04:55,420 will increase exponentially... 83 00:04:55,545 --> 00:04:57,882 as intercourse is robbed of its procreative utility. 84 00:04:59,217 --> 00:05:00,969 - I'm confused and frightened. - You should be. 85 00:05:01,136 --> 00:05:04,891 The species is not static. We're in a constant state of flux. 86 00:05:05,016 --> 00:05:07,978 Two genders has been the default setting for one reason only: 87 00:05:08,103 --> 00:05:10,397 So far it's been the only way to propagate the race. 88 00:05:10,481 --> 00:05:12,401 Is there any species that just has one gender... 89 00:05:12,485 --> 00:05:14,987 that doesn't have male & female? 90 00:05:15,112 --> 00:05:16,531 Starfish, for one. 91 00:05:16,657 --> 00:05:19,786 Next time I see a starfish, I'm gonna tell him to go fuck himself. 92 00:05:21,454 --> 00:05:22,830 Come on. You love it. 93 00:05:24,083 --> 00:05:25,834 No, we don't. 94 00:05:27,212 --> 00:05:29,089 So where are we headed? 95 00:05:29,172 --> 00:05:31,300 Equality? Equality, what is that? 96 00:05:33,052 --> 00:05:34,346 Is that a principle of nature? 97 00:05:34,471 --> 00:05:37,267 We all sit around reading subway maps together. 98 00:05:37,392 --> 00:05:39,478 No. Of course not. Natural selection. 99 00:05:39,562 --> 00:05:42,147 Now that is a principle of nature. 100 00:05:42,273 --> 00:05:44,776 Selection. Something has to lose. Something has to be defeated... 101 00:05:44,859 --> 00:05:47,196 in order for something else to be selected. 102 00:05:47,321 --> 00:05:49,282 So, what does this mean? 103 00:05:52,369 --> 00:05:54,957 We have to take orders fromJoyce for the rest of lives. 104 00:05:55,915 --> 00:05:57,626 That's right. I like that. 105 00:05:57,751 --> 00:06:00,547 It means that 1 0 or 1 5 generations from now... 106 00:06:00,672 --> 00:06:02,717 men will be reduced to servitude. 107 00:06:04,677 --> 00:06:06,804 Technology and evolution will have combined... 108 00:06:06,929 --> 00:06:09,601 to exclude sperm from procreation... 109 00:06:09,767 --> 00:06:13,647 and our final destiny will be to lift couches... 110 00:06:13,731 --> 00:06:17,068 and wait for that day when telepathy overcomes gravity... 111 00:06:17,152 --> 00:06:21,991 and our gender's last remaining utility is lost forever. 112 00:06:22,116 --> 00:06:23,368 Forever. 113 00:06:24,119 --> 00:06:25,746 Oh, my God, Roger. 114 00:06:28,751 --> 00:06:32,255 - What? I'm done. - Then I rest my case. 115 00:06:36,927 --> 00:06:38,387 Thank you. 116 00:06:40,182 --> 00:06:41,850 Love you people. 117 00:06:49,736 --> 00:06:51,196 Yeah, this is good. 118 00:07:46,100 --> 00:07:48,854 -Jesus! - No, just me. 119 00:07:50,565 --> 00:07:52,442 How did you get in here? 120 00:07:55,280 --> 00:07:58,074 - Where did you get those? - Copied them from yours. 121 00:07:58,241 --> 00:08:01,996 - When? - Last week when you sent me for bagels. 122 00:08:04,499 --> 00:08:05,709 Give them to me. 123 00:08:05,835 --> 00:08:08,254 Aren't you tired of constantly having to buzz me in here? 124 00:08:08,338 --> 00:08:11,967 See how your brain works? How does once a week turn into "constantly"? 125 00:08:12,092 --> 00:08:16,139 Actually, last week was two times, including, I believe, Friday... 126 00:08:16,264 --> 00:08:20,604 when you woke me out of a dead, pleasant sleep and demanded the use of my body. 127 00:08:20,771 --> 00:08:22,898 - You could have said no. - What? Are you kidding me? 128 00:08:23,023 --> 00:08:24,609 That was a call to action. 129 00:08:24,734 --> 00:08:26,987 I dressed in 30 seconds like a volunteer fireman. 130 00:08:27,071 --> 00:08:28,072 I was insane-- 131 00:08:28,155 --> 00:08:31,576 You should stop talking and listen to me. I got something to say to you. 132 00:08:31,660 --> 00:08:33,079 Oh, yeah? 133 00:08:33,203 --> 00:08:36,416 - Words are my stock-in-trade,Joyce. - I know. 134 00:08:36,500 --> 00:08:39,294 You can't just stop up the floodgate. 135 00:08:39,337 --> 00:08:41,339 - Put that down. - What? 136 00:08:42,799 --> 00:08:44,509 - We need to stop this. - Stop what? 137 00:08:44,634 --> 00:08:47,347 God, I love watching you in the bathroom. 138 00:08:47,430 --> 00:08:51,895 You're like an athlete after the game, scraping off the war paint. 139 00:08:51,978 --> 00:08:54,272 I meant, we need to stop seeing each other. 140 00:08:54,398 --> 00:08:55,983 Oh, really? 141 00:08:57,860 --> 00:08:59,821 This whole thing was a bad idea. 142 00:08:59,862 --> 00:09:03,034 Generally, I have good judgment, but this time, right out the window. 143 00:09:03,118 --> 00:09:06,497 This whole thing is a great idea. Nobody knows about us. 144 00:09:06,622 --> 00:09:08,833 We all go out, I sit there and... 145 00:09:08,916 --> 00:09:10,627 you know, a few hours later... 146 00:09:10,710 --> 00:09:12,713 I know I'm going to be the traveling salesman... 147 00:09:12,796 --> 00:09:15,174 and you're going to be the lonely housewife. 148 00:09:15,300 --> 00:09:20,140 I need you to be an adult about this. No scenes. 149 00:09:20,223 --> 00:09:23,435 Joyce, I am your boy. I'm your thoroughbred. 150 00:09:23,518 --> 00:09:26,147 Adult. Understand? 151 00:09:27,816 --> 00:09:30,987 Forget about the keys, okay? Just keep the keys with-- 152 00:09:39,790 --> 00:09:44,504 Tonight is our last night, so let's make it a good one. 153 00:09:48,635 --> 00:09:50,262 Good-bye sex is never good. 154 00:09:50,346 --> 00:09:52,348 Next week, we'll have "get back together" sex-- 155 00:10:00,358 --> 00:10:02,904 - Can I stay the night? - Roger, no. 156 00:11:30,558 --> 00:11:31,810 Right. 157 00:11:44,577 --> 00:11:48,165 Hi. Can I have a Cosmo and a Maker's Mark on the rocks? Thanks. 158 00:11:48,248 --> 00:11:51,795 - Let's have a talk. - I'm sorry. I'm with some people. 159 00:11:51,920 --> 00:11:53,088 Let me guess. 160 00:11:55,466 --> 00:11:57,259 You're relatively new at the company. 161 00:11:57,343 --> 00:12:01,349 Maybe you moved to New York from somewhere else. Somewhere friendly. 162 00:12:03,726 --> 00:12:05,979 First you took pride in being alone. 163 00:12:06,105 --> 00:12:08,858 Wanna make a name for yourself in the big city. 164 00:12:09,025 --> 00:12:12,571 After a while, you started thinking how it might be nice to meet somebody. 165 00:12:12,697 --> 00:12:16,368 Winter's not far off, and it gets lonely sometimes. 166 00:12:17,620 --> 00:12:19,997 Okay. And? 167 00:12:20,791 --> 00:12:23,836 And so you develop a crush on your supervisor... 168 00:12:25,798 --> 00:12:28,175 even though the other women in the office tell you... 169 00:12:28,300 --> 00:12:30,302 "Keep clear. He's bad news." 170 00:12:30,469 --> 00:12:32,764 - Why is he bad news? - Because he's a player. 171 00:12:33,599 --> 00:12:36,060 He's a guy who collects trophies. 172 00:12:36,144 --> 00:12:38,814 Every woman who takes a job there ends up in bed with him. 173 00:12:40,275 --> 00:12:42,193 And if you give in to temptation... 174 00:12:42,277 --> 00:12:45,698 you'll end up the punch line to a sordid joke by the water cooler. 175 00:12:45,865 --> 00:12:47,284 Am I hot or cold? 176 00:12:50,162 --> 00:12:53,082 - It's a good story. - It's a cliche. 177 00:12:53,207 --> 00:12:55,169 So what do you do when you're not reducing the world? 178 00:12:55,252 --> 00:12:57,881 What's wrong with reduction, boiling things down to their essence? 179 00:12:58,006 --> 00:13:01,927 What's wrong with... seeing what's really going on? 180 00:13:02,011 --> 00:13:05,057 And what's really going on? What's the big revelation? 181 00:13:05,974 --> 00:13:07,768 Why should I tell you? 182 00:13:07,851 --> 00:13:10,147 Telling you isn't going to change anything. 183 00:13:10,272 --> 00:13:14,694 For instance, I could tell you that what you think of as your personality... 184 00:13:14,778 --> 00:13:17,656 is nothing but a collection of Vanity Fairarticles. 185 00:13:17,698 --> 00:13:22,120 I could tell you your choice of sexual partners this evening... 186 00:13:22,245 --> 00:13:25,083 was decided months ago by some account executive at Young & Rubicam. 187 00:13:25,208 --> 00:13:28,379 I could tell you that given a week to study your father... 188 00:13:28,462 --> 00:13:30,631 and the ways in which he ignores you... 189 00:13:30,714 --> 00:13:34,094 I could come up with a schtick you'd be helpless to resist. Helpless. 190 00:13:38,767 --> 00:13:41,645 I could tell you all that, but what would you do with the information? 191 00:13:41,770 --> 00:13:44,233 Are there women who fall for this stuff? 192 00:13:45,567 --> 00:13:47,195 I'm telling the truth as I see it. 193 00:13:47,278 --> 00:13:50,031 You wanna go fuck your boss? What business is it of mine. 194 00:13:54,413 --> 00:13:57,708 He's not Daddy. He's just a guy in a suit. 195 00:14:02,548 --> 00:14:06,386 You feel compelled to contribute to the pathetic... 196 00:14:06,469 --> 00:14:09,432 heartbreaking predictability of it all, by all means-- 197 00:14:30,333 --> 00:14:31,836 - Hi. - Hi. 198 00:14:36,341 --> 00:14:40,180 - You waiting for someone? - Yeah, my fiance. 199 00:14:40,306 --> 00:14:43,726 - Hey, congratulations. - Thanks. 200 00:14:46,354 --> 00:14:49,275 All right. Congratulations. 201 00:14:54,031 --> 00:14:55,492 Is he a kind man, your fiance? 202 00:14:55,575 --> 00:14:57,577 Does he treat you with respect? 203 00:14:58,704 --> 00:15:01,458 Not that it's any of your business, but, yes, he does. 204 00:15:02,793 --> 00:15:06,589 - That must make you nervous. - Why would that make me nervous? 205 00:15:06,672 --> 00:15:09,134 Oh, come on. 206 00:15:09,259 --> 00:15:12,054 Look at the time. Let's do the math together. 207 00:15:12,222 --> 00:15:13,849 What are you talking about? 208 00:15:13,974 --> 00:15:17,186 Let me guess, low self-esteem... 209 00:15:17,353 --> 00:15:22,443 and premenopausal... concern led you to pursue a series of-- 210 00:15:24,320 --> 00:15:25,697 semiabusive relationships? 211 00:15:25,823 --> 00:15:30,204 But a recent dose of therapy has convinced you... 212 00:15:30,329 --> 00:15:32,456 that inner-beauty is what really matters, and... 213 00:15:34,375 --> 00:15:39,549 you really deserve that perfect partner who treats you with such respect. 214 00:15:39,674 --> 00:15:41,593 Do you want me to call the bartender? 215 00:15:41,676 --> 00:15:43,637 Unless you're an idiot-- which I don't think you are-- 216 00:15:43,720 --> 00:15:45,639 unless you're some kind of pathetic, self-help junkie... 217 00:15:45,723 --> 00:15:48,352 you and I know your guy's gonna wake up one morning, and-- 218 00:15:49,645 --> 00:15:51,940 he's gonna look around, figure out how old you are... 219 00:15:52,107 --> 00:15:55,278 and what you're really like, and that's the day he's gonna go out... 220 00:15:55,403 --> 00:15:57,363 for a pack of smokes and never come back. 221 00:15:58,073 --> 00:15:59,909 By that time-- How you doing? 222 00:16:01,201 --> 00:16:04,165 If she doesn't see what's coming, I fucking weep for her. 223 00:16:17,514 --> 00:16:19,851 - Can I help you, sir? - Hey. No, thanks. I'm good. 224 00:16:19,976 --> 00:16:21,687 I said, "Can I help you, sir?" 225 00:16:23,522 --> 00:16:27,402 - Where's that other guy? The-- - He's home sleeping. 226 00:16:27,527 --> 00:16:31,282 Okay. Well, it's very important that I seeJoyce Maynard right away, so-- 227 00:16:31,365 --> 00:16:34,037 Okay. I understand. Why don't I just leave her a note? 228 00:16:36,581 --> 00:16:38,333 It's important that I see her in person. 229 00:16:38,416 --> 00:16:41,004 That's not gonna work, so why don't l... 230 00:16:41,088 --> 00:16:43,465 call you a cab and you go home and sleep it off? 231 00:16:43,590 --> 00:16:45,675 Why don't you go fucking home? 232 00:16:45,759 --> 00:16:48,430 Okay. You know what? We don't understand each other. 233 00:16:48,514 --> 00:16:52,393 I'm her boy. I'm her boy, okay? Who are you? Who are you? 234 00:16:52,560 --> 00:16:56,899 I am the man who's gonna call the police if you don't get out of my lobby! 235 00:17:47,173 --> 00:17:50,469 Roger, it's Susan. It's Thursday, and l want you to call-- 236 00:18:28,811 --> 00:18:30,938 - Roger, pick up line two. - Who is it? 237 00:18:31,063 --> 00:18:34,026 -It's regarding the newcampaign. -Which new campaign? Get a name, please. 238 00:18:36,445 --> 00:18:39,616 - It's Susan. - Tell her I'm out. 239 00:18:39,741 --> 00:18:42,577 - Shesays it's important-- - Tell her I'm out. 240 00:18:49,337 --> 00:18:52,925 Yeah. This is, like, surly. That's like, "What is that?" 241 00:18:53,050 --> 00:18:54,802 - And this is, like-- - You want surly? 242 00:18:54,927 --> 00:18:57,098 -This is like '90s, adorable normal guy. -I am that. 243 00:18:57,222 --> 00:18:59,100 - That's your problem. - That's your nightmare. 244 00:18:59,225 --> 00:19:02,271 Hey, Roget. You going to Joyce's tonight? 245 00:19:03,898 --> 00:19:05,440 What? 246 00:19:06,234 --> 00:19:09,280 - Didn't you get the E-mail? - What E-mail? 247 00:19:12,117 --> 00:19:13,702 About the party? 248 00:19:14,745 --> 00:19:16,163 You going? 249 00:19:16,205 --> 00:19:18,917 Joyce throws a party, I don't ask questions. I just show up. 250 00:19:29,264 --> 00:19:30,725 She's on a conference call. 251 00:19:30,850 --> 00:19:33,478 Ted, there's someone in my office. 252 00:19:33,561 --> 00:19:35,689 - Bye, Ted. - It's okay, Donna, you can-- 253 00:19:35,814 --> 00:19:38,692 - Bye, Donna. - I'll call you back in five minutes. 254 00:19:38,817 --> 00:19:42,614 "Five minutes"? This is a five-minute situation? 255 00:19:42,697 --> 00:19:44,408 Sit down. 256 00:19:44,492 --> 00:19:46,536 I don't wish to sit down. I wish to stand. 257 00:19:47,579 --> 00:19:49,540 Did you try to get into my building last night? 258 00:19:51,835 --> 00:19:54,421 Why am I not invited tonight? Everyone will be there except me. 259 00:19:54,546 --> 00:19:56,549 What is that going to look like? 260 00:19:58,886 --> 00:20:01,805 - Let's reestablish some boundaries. - Let's not. 261 00:20:03,683 --> 00:20:06,729 I'm your boss. You work for me. 262 00:20:06,854 --> 00:20:09,065 You write very good copy. 263 00:20:10,526 --> 00:20:15,741 But I have a hundred resumes on my files for guysjust like you. 264 00:20:15,866 --> 00:20:18,578 But do those guys do that thing that I do? 265 00:20:18,662 --> 00:20:20,455 The thing that you like? 266 00:20:21,373 --> 00:20:26,171 I have explained to you that I do not wish to see you socially any longer. 267 00:20:34,432 --> 00:20:36,393 Find a way to deal with it. 268 00:20:47,615 --> 00:20:49,743 What's that supposed to do? 269 00:21:21,869 --> 00:21:23,037 Nick? 270 00:21:25,289 --> 00:21:27,126 Uncle Roger. How's it going? 271 00:21:28,835 --> 00:21:30,588 What are you doing here? 272 00:21:31,589 --> 00:21:34,302 What? Oh. I wanted to see where you work. 273 00:21:35,469 --> 00:21:39,182 - Yes. No. What are you doing here? - What? 274 00:21:39,307 --> 00:21:41,978 - You mean here in New York here? - Yes. 275 00:21:42,103 --> 00:21:45,650 I had an interview at Columbia, so Mom said I should look you up. 276 00:21:45,733 --> 00:21:48,695 - Sit down. - Okay. 277 00:21:48,779 --> 00:21:50,697 That's what all the phone calls were about. 278 00:21:50,781 --> 00:21:53,117 - The phone calls? - Yeah. Your mom's been calling me. 279 00:21:53,243 --> 00:21:56,914 - Did you speak to her? - We're playing phone tag. 280 00:21:56,997 --> 00:21:59,167 She said you could show me what you do here. 281 00:21:59,292 --> 00:22:01,254 She did? 282 00:22:01,378 --> 00:22:04,550 Well, there's not a whole lot to show you, Nick. 283 00:22:04,675 --> 00:22:07,929 Really? Like, what do you do all day? 284 00:22:08,012 --> 00:22:09,973 What do I do all day? 285 00:22:10,932 --> 00:22:13,644 I sit here and think of ways to make people feel bad. 286 00:22:15,313 --> 00:22:18,024 - I thought you wrote for commercials. - I do... 287 00:22:18,108 --> 00:22:21,112 but you can't sell a product without first making people feel bad. 288 00:22:21,863 --> 00:22:23,198 Why not? 289 00:22:25,910 --> 00:22:27,871 Because it's a substitution game. 290 00:22:28,997 --> 00:22:31,584 You have to remind them that they're missing something from their lives. 291 00:22:31,709 --> 00:22:33,545 Everyone's missing something, right? 292 00:22:33,628 --> 00:22:35,589 - Well, yeah. I guess. - Trust me. 293 00:22:35,672 --> 00:22:38,218 And when they're feeling sufficiently incomplete... 294 00:22:38,343 --> 00:22:41,472 you convince them that your product is the only thing that can fill the void. 295 00:22:41,598 --> 00:22:43,850 So, instead of taking steps to deal with their lives... 296 00:22:43,933 --> 00:22:47,688 instead ofworking to root out the real reason for their misery... 297 00:22:47,771 --> 00:22:50,692 they run out and buy a stupid-looking pair of cargo pants. 298 00:22:59,162 --> 00:23:02,875 - So... is it fun? - It can be. 299 00:23:03,000 --> 00:23:05,753 Look, I actually was about to call it a day. 300 00:23:05,878 --> 00:23:07,839 That's cool. We can go get something to eat. 301 00:23:10,551 --> 00:23:14,097 - Fine. Let's get out of here. - Great. 302 00:23:38,797 --> 00:23:41,592 You gave me a scare. I thought you were having a narcoleptic episode. 303 00:23:41,717 --> 00:23:45,264 - What? When? - Back at the office, you know? 304 00:23:46,722 --> 00:23:49,269 That's standing meditation. It calms me down. Thanks. 305 00:23:49,394 --> 00:23:51,771 Why should you calm down? You're a teenager. Thank you. 306 00:23:51,854 --> 00:23:53,857 My brain gets all sloppy when I'm stressed... 307 00:23:53,942 --> 00:23:56,611 so the meditation helps me focus and block out the bad stuff. 308 00:23:56,695 --> 00:23:59,490 - Bad stuff? - Like fear and pain, you know? 309 00:23:59,574 --> 00:24:03,287 It's a visualization. I picture a blue triangle, and that's me. 310 00:24:03,412 --> 00:24:07,041 I put all the other stuffoutside the triangle in a red field. It works. 311 00:24:09,419 --> 00:24:11,213 So, how's your folks? 312 00:24:16,262 --> 00:24:19,349 - They got divorced. - What? 313 00:24:19,474 --> 00:24:21,476 Yeah. My dad moved out. 314 00:24:21,602 --> 00:24:23,980 - You're kidding. When did this happen? - A while ago. 315 00:24:24,064 --> 00:24:26,483 I haven't seen you since Grandma's funeral. 316 00:24:32,532 --> 00:24:34,703 -Jesus, Nick. I'm sorry to hear that. - It's no big deal. 317 00:24:34,786 --> 00:24:37,289 I still talk to my dad. He calls from the road. 318 00:24:37,414 --> 00:24:38,917 How's your mom doing? 319 00:24:39,000 --> 00:24:40,335 She's fine. You know. 320 00:24:42,379 --> 00:24:44,715 - Surprised she didn't come with you. - Maybe she was afraid to see you... 321 00:24:44,798 --> 00:24:46,676 after what happened at the funeral. 322 00:24:46,800 --> 00:24:49,847 That happened because your grandfather's a king-size prick. 323 00:24:52,308 --> 00:24:53,936 All right? 324 00:25:03,114 --> 00:25:04,909 So when's your interview? 325 00:25:06,284 --> 00:25:08,747 - It was today. - How'd it go? 326 00:25:08,914 --> 00:25:11,291 Fine, I guess. I did the interviews 'cause Mom wants me to. 327 00:25:11,375 --> 00:25:14,128 - You're not interested in college? - Why keep going to school... 328 00:25:14,212 --> 00:25:16,715 when anything I need to find out about I can look up myself? 329 00:25:16,839 --> 00:25:19,594 Dad didn't go to college. By the time he was my age, he was on the road. 330 00:25:19,719 --> 00:25:21,972 - How is everything here? - First-rate. Thanks. 331 00:25:23,724 --> 00:25:28,897 But... the good thing about college is you get to hang out a lot. 332 00:25:28,981 --> 00:25:31,402 - It's good for the social skills. - Yeah. 333 00:25:35,572 --> 00:25:40,788 So... my mom says you're kind of, you know, like a ladies' man. 334 00:25:40,913 --> 00:25:44,126 - She said that? - But she says it like it's a bad thing. 335 00:25:44,167 --> 00:25:46,170 That sounds like her. 336 00:25:47,004 --> 00:25:50,384 - Is it true? - What about you? You have a girlfriend? 337 00:25:52,219 --> 00:25:56,183 No. I mean, you know, not yet. 338 00:25:57,643 --> 00:26:02,357 Look. I'm getting older, and there's a lot of stuffthat I wish I could-- 339 00:26:05,862 --> 00:26:10,285 There's a lot of stuffthat I haven't-- There's certain things I need to-- 340 00:26:10,368 --> 00:26:12,330 Yeah. I thought you said you could look that stuff up. 341 00:26:12,455 --> 00:26:14,457 No. I mean, not this. 342 00:26:14,582 --> 00:26:17,294 You don't understand. I need someone who knows what to say-- 343 00:26:17,377 --> 00:26:20,131 I'm kidding you, Nick. That's what college is for. 344 00:26:20,256 --> 00:26:25,262 You find some football player who needs tutoring, and he helps you get girls. 345 00:26:25,387 --> 00:26:28,350 - You don't get it. - I get it. I was 1 6 once, all right? 346 00:26:29,267 --> 00:26:31,647 What are you going to do if you don't go to college? 347 00:26:31,772 --> 00:26:34,107 Design software. Maybe work on simulation games. 348 00:26:34,232 --> 00:26:36,652 That's right. You're the computer whiz. There is money in that. 349 00:26:36,778 --> 00:26:38,739 I already make money setting up systems for people. 350 00:26:38,864 --> 00:26:41,283 I'm working on a web page for Granddad for his research. 351 00:26:41,367 --> 00:26:43,870 What, the old man? He's actually spending money? 352 00:26:44,037 --> 00:26:45,246 Yeah, good money too. 353 00:26:45,330 --> 00:26:47,667 It's funny, 'cause he yells at his computer like it's a person. 354 00:26:47,750 --> 00:26:49,836 He's always going, "That bitch ate my file." 355 00:26:49,962 --> 00:26:53,466 - Or, "She's playing hard to get." - You spend a lot of time there? 356 00:26:53,591 --> 00:26:54,550 Yeah, nowadays. 357 00:26:54,634 --> 00:26:57,846 I go over after school, and he comes over and eats dinner with us. 358 00:26:57,973 --> 00:27:01,811 Wait a minute. He eats dinner with you and Susan? 359 00:27:01,936 --> 00:27:05,856 Sure. Since Grandma died, there's no one taking care of him. 360 00:27:05,898 --> 00:27:08,820 Even after they split up, she went over every day to cook dinner. 361 00:27:08,903 --> 00:27:12,574 I mean, every single day. She was nuts. 362 00:27:17,246 --> 00:27:19,208 Yeah, she was nuts. 363 00:27:23,171 --> 00:27:24,507 So, Nick. 364 00:27:26,509 --> 00:27:28,636 You need some help with the ladies? 365 00:27:32,058 --> 00:27:34,269 All right. Here we go. Get this straight. 366 00:27:34,352 --> 00:27:38,566 Sex is everywhere, okay? It is all around us. 367 00:27:38,650 --> 00:27:41,611 It's not some distant destination. It's not Everest. 368 00:27:41,695 --> 00:27:45,241 It is right here. You have to attune yourselfto it. 369 00:27:45,366 --> 00:27:47,285 You have to bring yourself into alignment. 370 00:27:47,368 --> 00:27:49,289 You have to find the zone, Nick. Okay? 371 00:27:49,372 --> 00:27:53,002 Do that, and I promise you a whole world will open up. 372 00:27:54,170 --> 00:27:57,549 Look at me. I walk around in a state of total receptivity. 373 00:27:57,591 --> 00:28:00,928 - I'm like a fucking lightning rod. - All right. Fine. What do I do? 374 00:28:02,221 --> 00:28:05,226 For starters, let's get rid of that little meditation. The blue triangle. 375 00:28:05,352 --> 00:28:08,814 We don't block things out, Nicholas. We let them in. 376 00:28:08,939 --> 00:28:10,315 Let what in? 377 00:28:10,440 --> 00:28:12,778 There are millions of women in this city. 378 00:28:12,861 --> 00:28:16,074 Millions. Most of them are blessedly unaware of the countless ways... 379 00:28:16,199 --> 00:28:18,951 in which their bodies are exposed to our eyes. 380 00:28:19,035 --> 00:28:21,747 So, first, learn to read the sun, where it sits. 381 00:28:21,872 --> 00:28:27,546 You'll notice... correlation between backlighting and transparency. 382 00:28:27,672 --> 00:28:30,717 They wear light-colored clothing, underwear shows right through. 383 00:28:30,801 --> 00:28:33,763 Bra straps, panty lines. No need to stretch or squint. 384 00:28:33,805 --> 00:28:37,977 It is there for us, okay? For example-- 385 00:28:45,528 --> 00:28:46,571 What? 386 00:28:46,697 --> 00:28:49,157 Are you blowing my cover like some construction worker? 387 00:28:49,282 --> 00:28:52,286 - No. I wasjust-- - Use your head. 388 00:28:53,205 --> 00:28:57,460 Step back. Let her pass. Okay? Give it a few seconds. 389 00:28:57,544 --> 00:29:00,923 Watch this, and then camouflage the move. Pay attention. 390 00:29:05,137 --> 00:29:07,849 Checking of the watch is good. Or of the pager. 391 00:29:07,932 --> 00:29:10,560 Or looking for a street sign like you're lost. 392 00:29:10,644 --> 00:29:13,189 You saw me do a combination. Whatever it is, don't get caught. 393 00:29:13,315 --> 00:29:15,985 Do you think women have a clue what goes on up here? 394 00:29:16,027 --> 00:29:19,656 What do they think, it's just stock quotes, drill bit sizes? 395 00:29:19,740 --> 00:29:22,451 They don't know shit! Let's keep it that way. 396 00:29:22,534 --> 00:29:26,289 - All right. - Watch. What about your eyes? 397 00:29:26,414 --> 00:29:29,001 - What? My eyes? - Your eyes. How's your vision? 398 00:29:29,126 --> 00:29:31,629 - No, it's good. It's 20-20. - Okay. Peripheral? 399 00:29:31,713 --> 00:29:34,467 - I don't know. It's fine, I guess. - Fine's not gonna cut it. 400 00:29:34,550 --> 00:29:38,096 You gotta work your muscles like you're training for the fucking Olympics. 401 00:29:38,221 --> 00:29:40,933 - Yeah. - Up, down, left, right, et cetera. 402 00:29:43,895 --> 00:29:45,564 - Here. Follow my finger. - Okay. 403 00:29:45,689 --> 00:29:47,359 - Tell me when it's gone. - All right. 404 00:29:48,193 --> 00:29:50,613 - Okay. Stop. - That's it? 405 00:29:50,655 --> 00:29:52,823 You need a hundred, a hundred and ten degrees... 406 00:29:52,865 --> 00:29:55,160 before you're ready for the street. 407 00:29:55,285 --> 00:29:57,246 I see behind me on a good day. 408 00:29:57,997 --> 00:29:59,540 - You play video games? - Sure. 409 00:29:59,666 --> 00:30:01,502 Good. That stuff is training for the eyes. 410 00:30:01,669 --> 00:30:02,628 Registering images in a split second. 411 00:30:02,711 --> 00:30:04,839 It's invaluable. Oh. Right there. 412 00:30:04,923 --> 00:30:07,510 Blue sweater. Blue sweater. Median. Blue sweater. Blue sweater. 413 00:30:11,390 --> 00:30:14,142 That young ladyjust-- And you missed it. 414 00:30:14,226 --> 00:30:16,271 - I know. - In just a fraction of a second. 415 00:30:16,355 --> 00:30:20,110 That's all. But a trained eye can get in there for a look. 416 00:30:20,193 --> 00:30:22,737 You have to learn to anticipate your opportunities, okay? 417 00:30:22,862 --> 00:30:24,824 Getting out of a cab, wind from a subway grate... 418 00:30:24,950 --> 00:30:29,037 or as you so sadly missed there, bending over to pick something up. 419 00:30:29,121 --> 00:30:32,042 These are situations which require lightning reflexes. 420 00:30:32,126 --> 00:30:35,504 - I tell you, I can do that. - Your a step slow right now, Nick. 421 00:30:35,588 --> 00:30:39,135 Hey, no wonder. I remember what it's like out there. 422 00:30:39,260 --> 00:30:40,719 No interaction. No face time. 423 00:30:40,802 --> 00:30:43,973 Look at me. Every day I have the street, the subway, the ATM line... 424 00:30:44,098 --> 00:30:46,185 the office, the gym, the-- 425 00:30:46,310 --> 00:30:47,979 What have you got? 426 00:30:48,062 --> 00:30:50,607 Young people sitting in cars in Ohio. 427 00:30:50,733 --> 00:30:52,693 Wistful glances at the stoplight. 428 00:30:52,818 --> 00:30:54,612 No, I go to school. That's interaction. 429 00:30:54,738 --> 00:30:56,322 Okay. Let's work with that. 430 00:30:56,448 --> 00:30:58,827 The high school building is four stories, if memory serves. 431 00:30:58,909 --> 00:31:00,787 - It's five stories now. - Whatever. 432 00:31:00,871 --> 00:31:04,125 It's multistory, and that means stairs, which is good. 433 00:31:04,208 --> 00:31:07,671 Free yourselffrom the tyranny of eye level. Come here. 434 00:31:07,796 --> 00:31:09,841 Use the angles. High for cleavage. 435 00:31:11,551 --> 00:31:14,972 - Low for the skirts. - All right. 436 00:31:15,097 --> 00:31:18,769 Remember, there's no shame in calling on an old standby, right? 437 00:31:18,810 --> 00:31:21,606 Dropping of the pencil. Tying of the shoe.Just don't telegraph it. 438 00:31:21,689 --> 00:31:24,234 What about reflective surfaces? Mirrors, windows? 439 00:31:24,318 --> 00:31:26,403 What, in school? No, there's no mirrors. 440 00:31:26,570 --> 00:31:28,948 What about that ugly glass trophy case that-- 441 00:31:29,074 --> 00:31:30,993 - Yeah, that's there. - Well, use it. It's perfect. 442 00:31:31,077 --> 00:31:34,414 Go stand over there for a second. Keep going. Keep going. Stop. 443 00:31:35,792 --> 00:31:39,128 If you can't stare directly, turn your back and use the glass. 444 00:31:39,213 --> 00:31:40,421 Hi, gorgeous. 445 00:31:40,546 --> 00:31:43,967 Remember, angle of incidence equals angle of reflectives. 446 00:31:44,093 --> 00:31:47,640 In other words, if you can see them, they can see you. So be alert. 447 00:31:47,722 --> 00:31:49,935 - This is really complicated. - It's rocket science. 448 00:31:50,018 --> 00:31:52,646 - You were smart to ask for help. - I have a good one. 449 00:31:52,771 --> 00:31:54,482 When they're wearing short sleeves... 450 00:31:54,607 --> 00:31:57,653 and they raise their arms to fix their hair, you can see in that gap there. 451 00:31:57,778 --> 00:32:00,990 Now, see? That shows me you're using your faculties. 452 00:32:01,074 --> 00:32:03,827 - Don't they know we can see in there? - Of course they do. 453 00:32:03,910 --> 00:32:06,664 Breasts are very sensitive. They know when they're exposed to air. 454 00:32:08,542 --> 00:32:12,088 Are women gonna walk around with their hands clamped to their sides? No. 455 00:32:12,171 --> 00:32:14,340 Their hair has to be dealt with eventually... 456 00:32:14,465 --> 00:32:18,471 and it is ourjob, it is our vocation to be ready. 457 00:32:18,555 --> 00:32:22,143 All right. So all this looking is fine, but how do you take the next step? 458 00:32:22,268 --> 00:32:24,229 I need to meet someone. 459 00:32:28,609 --> 00:32:30,654 If you can't see how the two things are related... 460 00:32:30,779 --> 00:32:32,532 there's nothing I can do for you. 461 00:32:32,615 --> 00:32:34,993 - Wait. Relax. Come on. - You think we are kidding around here? 462 00:32:35,118 --> 00:32:37,287 - Do you think this is a joke? - No. Why do you think I'm here? 463 00:32:37,412 --> 00:32:41,083 - You have got to make sex a presence... - I'm sorry. 464 00:32:41,251 --> 00:32:43,129 - in your mind, in your life... - All right. 465 00:32:43,296 --> 00:32:45,048 - in your spirit. - I'm sorry. 466 00:32:49,261 --> 00:32:52,724 - All right. - What? No. I don't smoke. 467 00:32:52,849 --> 00:32:54,477 Better learn. 468 00:32:57,731 --> 00:33:00,567 - Okay. - Come on. 469 00:33:09,245 --> 00:33:11,248 Here. Wait here. 470 00:33:30,272 --> 00:33:32,652 Okay. Stay on this side of me. 471 00:33:38,742 --> 00:33:40,245 Excuse us. 472 00:33:45,376 --> 00:33:47,921 In, in, in. Go, go, go. Hurry. 473 00:33:51,134 --> 00:33:52,593 Oh, yeah. 474 00:33:56,265 --> 00:33:58,017 Okay. We're in. 475 00:33:59,103 --> 00:34:00,311 Good. 476 00:34:00,395 --> 00:34:03,607 So, first, a survey of the terrain. 477 00:34:08,823 --> 00:34:10,867 Technically, it's still happy hour. 478 00:34:11,952 --> 00:34:15,248 Your casual drinkers have yet to pack it in. Lots of groups. 479 00:34:15,331 --> 00:34:18,502 Not exactly ideal for our purposes, but not impossible. 480 00:34:18,586 --> 00:34:21,173 So, we need to make an impression. 481 00:34:21,298 --> 00:34:24,719 Send out a signal that back here is the place to be. 482 00:34:24,844 --> 00:34:27,221 All right. What do you do? What do you say? 483 00:34:27,306 --> 00:34:29,309 Who cares? You're overcomplicating it. 484 00:34:29,433 --> 00:34:32,228 You spend the whole night sitting here thinking of the perfect line... 485 00:34:32,353 --> 00:34:33,897 what good is that? 486 00:34:34,022 --> 00:34:38,987 Just make contact. Separate yourself from the rabble. Watch this. 487 00:34:42,533 --> 00:34:45,496 Hey! Roses. Rosebud. 488 00:34:47,165 --> 00:34:48,875 Hi. Come here. 489 00:34:49,000 --> 00:34:50,795 Come here. Come here. Come here. 490 00:34:56,968 --> 00:35:00,640 Hi. Could you-- 491 00:35:00,765 --> 00:35:03,393 Could I get you to take a-- Yeah. 492 00:35:07,315 --> 00:35:10,570 - Hey. - Nick here thinks you're beautiful. 493 00:35:12,239 --> 00:35:15,159 If he's got such good taste, what's he doing hanging out with you? 494 00:35:16,244 --> 00:35:17,746 Good question. Nick? 495 00:35:22,000 --> 00:35:25,756 - Because he's my uncle? - How awful for you. 496 00:35:29,220 --> 00:35:30,720 And so on. No big deal, right? 497 00:35:30,762 --> 00:35:33,474 Now she's aware of our presence, and we can plot our strategy. 498 00:35:33,599 --> 00:35:36,980 I'm gonna get us some drinks. While I'm there, think of a hook. 499 00:35:37,938 --> 00:35:41,526 - What? A hook? - A hook. A line. An opening salvo. 500 00:35:41,652 --> 00:35:45,615 Any minute now, Rosebud is going to be standing right here... 501 00:35:45,699 --> 00:35:48,202 Iooking down at you, and you're going to have one chance... 502 00:35:48,326 --> 00:35:51,999 to either hit it out of the park or strike out miserably. 503 00:35:53,167 --> 00:35:54,252 Be ready. 504 00:36:29,923 --> 00:36:32,051 Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. 505 00:36:34,386 --> 00:36:36,557 Oh, shit. Oh, shit. 506 00:36:40,145 --> 00:36:43,691 Hello, Nick. Your uncle says you have something to tell me... 507 00:36:43,817 --> 00:36:46,528 that will absolutely blow my mind. 508 00:36:48,613 --> 00:36:52,243 - Oh, yeah? - Yeah. Those were his exact words. 509 00:36:54,413 --> 00:36:56,499 Is he playing a littlejoke on us? 510 00:36:59,629 --> 00:37:01,923 No, no. He's serious. 511 00:37:02,048 --> 00:37:04,592 I mean, he's... totally serious. 512 00:37:05,553 --> 00:37:07,555 - Tonight. - Sorry. 513 00:37:10,351 --> 00:37:12,937 Thanks. As I was-- 514 00:37:13,062 --> 00:37:15,022 - Tonight. - Right, I was saying that... 515 00:37:16,483 --> 00:37:18,610 I was saying that tonight is a-- 516 00:37:18,735 --> 00:37:21,365 Tonight is a very important night for me. 517 00:37:21,490 --> 00:37:24,118 I wasjust telling her that we made a bet. 518 00:37:24,202 --> 00:37:27,539 - A bet? - Uh-huh. We made a bet for $1 ,000. 519 00:37:30,960 --> 00:37:33,839 That I can get somebody to... 520 00:37:33,964 --> 00:37:35,925 Iike, fall in love with me. 521 00:37:39,096 --> 00:37:40,849 Really? 522 00:37:43,686 --> 00:37:47,023 Love. That's a hard thing to verify, don't you think? 523 00:37:47,148 --> 00:37:49,526 No, I think we can do it. 524 00:37:49,610 --> 00:37:51,404 I'm confident we can. 525 00:37:53,156 --> 00:37:54,492 A thousand dollars? 526 00:37:54,617 --> 00:37:56,660 That's not exactly mind-blowing... 527 00:37:56,785 --> 00:38:00,207 but it's not the worse line I'll hear tonight. 528 00:38:01,417 --> 00:38:03,295 What? Really? 529 00:38:04,170 --> 00:38:06,758 Yeah. Good job, Nick. 530 00:38:06,883 --> 00:38:09,594 - So, do we rate a sit-down? - I'm waiting for a friend. 531 00:38:09,677 --> 00:38:11,596 I'll run it by her when she shows up. 532 00:38:11,679 --> 00:38:14,392 Get her over here. There's cash at stake. 533 00:38:14,518 --> 00:38:18,314 If we do, who sits with who? 534 00:38:18,397 --> 00:38:20,859 Ladies' choice. Natural selection. 535 00:38:26,866 --> 00:38:29,245 I wanna sit with him. 536 00:38:31,915 --> 00:38:33,875 Yes, yes. 537 00:38:46,767 --> 00:38:47,936 What is this? 538 00:38:48,061 --> 00:38:50,857 Rum and coke. I told him to mix it weak. We got a long way to go here. 539 00:38:50,982 --> 00:38:53,818 - Okay. I don't drink. - You kidding me? Take a drink. 540 00:38:53,943 --> 00:38:57,364 - I don't put alcohol into my body. - You drink that drink. 541 00:38:59,117 --> 00:39:02,246 Loss of inhibition is crucial to your success tonight, okay? 542 00:39:02,371 --> 00:39:05,125 Alcohol has been a social lubricant for thousands of years. 543 00:39:05,250 --> 00:39:08,671 You think you're gonna sit here tonight and reinvent the wheel? Please. 544 00:39:14,179 --> 00:39:19,142 All right. Now, you did one very good thing. You lied. 545 00:39:19,268 --> 00:39:22,230 You made something up. Keep that part of your brain working. 546 00:39:22,355 --> 00:39:25,943 We get those girls over here, your first instinct is gonna be to open up. 547 00:39:25,985 --> 00:39:29,323 To tell the truth. Fight it!Just keep it interesting. 548 00:39:29,406 --> 00:39:32,869 Play up your novelty. You're a 1 6-year-old in a bar. 549 00:39:32,994 --> 00:39:36,875 Why? "My father owns the bar." You got a month to live. 550 00:39:36,958 --> 00:39:39,711 You're an actor researching-- I don't know. Improvise. 551 00:39:39,794 --> 00:39:42,256 Next, check the time. What time is it? 552 00:39:42,298 --> 00:39:43,967 It's about 7:02. 553 00:39:44,092 --> 00:39:47,387 - Do you have a MedicAlert bracelet? - No, it's instructions. 554 00:39:47,514 --> 00:39:50,225 I'm having my body cryogenically frozen if I die prematurely. 555 00:39:57,484 --> 00:39:59,654 All right. Leave it. It's spastic enough to be charming. 556 00:39:59,737 --> 00:40:02,157 So, the time. 7:00. 557 00:40:02,282 --> 00:40:05,787 We've got nine hours until closing time. An eternity. 558 00:40:06,621 --> 00:40:08,749 Look at me, Nick, and answer me this question. 559 00:40:08,832 --> 00:40:10,585 All right. 560 00:40:11,835 --> 00:40:15,382 Who is the greatest basketball player in the history of the game? 561 00:40:16,926 --> 00:40:19,388 - Do you mean ever? - Come on. This is easy. 562 00:40:20,806 --> 00:40:22,684 - Michael Jordan? - Michael Jordan. 563 00:40:22,766 --> 00:40:25,062 Why was he the greatest? Because he paced himself. 564 00:40:25,145 --> 00:40:27,398 Because he always had something left at the finish. 565 00:40:27,523 --> 00:40:30,111 MagicJohnson called it "winning time." See those guys over there? 566 00:40:33,615 --> 00:40:36,410 Yeah. Those guys think they're kicking ass. 567 00:40:36,493 --> 00:40:38,287 Believe me, it is early. 568 00:40:38,370 --> 00:40:40,541 We are a long way from winning time, so pay attention. 569 00:40:40,624 --> 00:40:42,710 - Okay. - You say you want it. 570 00:40:42,835 --> 00:40:44,421 If you really wanted it... 571 00:40:45,462 --> 00:40:49,050 you'd be in here, suffering the tortures of the damned with those guys. 572 00:40:49,134 --> 00:40:51,346 - What? - There's a big difference between... 573 00:40:51,513 --> 00:40:54,893 being horny and being willing to put in the time night after night-- 574 00:40:54,976 --> 00:40:58,439 I want it. Okay? I go to high school. You don't think that's torture? 575 00:40:58,564 --> 00:41:00,733 This is a lot of information. 576 00:41:00,858 --> 00:41:02,861 I'm giving you the keys to the kingdom. 577 00:41:02,944 --> 00:41:04,237 Yeah, I know. 578 00:41:04,362 --> 00:41:06,532 How many boys your age get an opportunity like this? 579 00:41:06,657 --> 00:41:07,618 Yes. 580 00:41:07,743 --> 00:41:10,495 So, stick your finger down your throat. Drink ice water, call it gin-- 581 00:41:10,622 --> 00:41:14,210 I don't care what you do. Be ready to dive in at the moment of truth. 582 00:41:16,712 --> 00:41:20,884 So... how often do you, like... 583 00:41:22,053 --> 00:41:24,472 you know, like, get somebody to go home with you? 584 00:41:27,226 --> 00:41:28,853 Every night. 585 00:41:29,604 --> 00:41:30,647 Bullshit. 586 00:41:30,730 --> 00:41:33,400 Just because you're not having sex, doesn't mean the rest of us... 587 00:41:33,525 --> 00:41:35,319 are sitting around playing cribbage. 588 00:41:37,782 --> 00:41:39,283 What's cribbage? 589 00:41:41,245 --> 00:41:43,372 - What? What? - Here we go. Here we go. 590 00:41:44,415 --> 00:41:46,793 Here they come. This is so stupid. They're, like, twice my age. 591 00:41:46,918 --> 00:41:49,964 Champions refuse to lose. Be like Mike. 592 00:41:50,047 --> 00:41:52,634 Here we are. As promised. For one drink. 593 00:41:52,676 --> 00:41:57,223 - I'm Andrea, and this is Sophie. - I'm Roger. This is my nephew, Nick. 594 00:41:57,306 --> 00:41:59,643 - Hi. - He really is, like, 1 6. 595 00:41:59,726 --> 00:42:01,645 - I told you. - Sit down. 596 00:42:01,728 --> 00:42:03,732 How'd you get in here, Nick? 597 00:42:03,816 --> 00:42:07,529 It's funny you should... ask me that. 598 00:42:07,654 --> 00:42:11,700 'Cause we were, before, discussing it, and-- 599 00:42:12,785 --> 00:42:13,953 Never you mind. 600 00:42:14,036 --> 00:42:16,582 I'm enjoying the air of intrigue Nick brings to our booth. 601 00:42:16,707 --> 00:42:19,168 - Cheers, everyone. - I told Sophie about your little bet. 602 00:42:19,293 --> 00:42:20,837 She thinks you're full of it. 603 00:42:20,920 --> 00:42:22,423 There's nothing little about a thousand dollars. 604 00:42:22,548 --> 00:42:25,176 He's got to get someone to fall in love with him? 605 00:42:25,218 --> 00:42:27,846 - A woman. - A woman? 606 00:42:27,929 --> 00:42:31,142 Does it have to be a woman? What if some guy takes a shine to you? 607 00:42:32,686 --> 00:42:35,147 I guess that would count, 'cause we never discussed what gender-- 608 00:42:35,272 --> 00:42:39,027 If Nick is willing to exploit that little loophole, he can have the money. 609 00:42:39,153 --> 00:42:41,615 - What were you guys talking about? - I don't know. 610 00:42:41,740 --> 00:42:45,660 - What were we talking about? - We were talking about women. 611 00:42:45,744 --> 00:42:49,290 Specifically, the pleasure to be derived from admiring the female form. 612 00:42:50,959 --> 00:42:53,463 Imagine what it feels like to be admired all day long. 613 00:42:53,588 --> 00:42:56,383 - Really. - You'd rather be completely anonymous? 614 00:42:56,467 --> 00:42:58,260 - Not completely anonymous. - Not anonymous. 615 00:42:58,427 --> 00:43:01,389 I myselfwould welcome the sensation of a hundred pair of eyes... 616 00:43:01,556 --> 00:43:03,936 caressing my... booty as I walk down the street. 617 00:43:04,019 --> 00:43:05,478 Guys always say that. 618 00:43:05,604 --> 00:43:07,899 Yeah. "We'd love it if women were always staring." 619 00:43:08,024 --> 00:43:09,150 We would. 620 00:43:09,275 --> 00:43:12,362 You would love it if no woman ever listened to a word you were saying... 621 00:43:12,487 --> 00:43:16,200 and just kept her eyes locked on your chest or your crotch? 622 00:43:16,326 --> 00:43:18,579 If it led to having sex all the time, I would not mind. 623 00:43:18,663 --> 00:43:21,750 You could deal with never being heard, never being taken seriously? 624 00:43:21,875 --> 00:43:24,878 If I had something that needed saying, I would wait until right after sex. 625 00:43:26,547 --> 00:43:29,718 Seriously, for a second, just stop saying the obvious thing. 626 00:43:29,843 --> 00:43:32,639 Think what it would be like if on every bus... 627 00:43:32,722 --> 00:43:36,143 there were huge pictures of your naked body. 628 00:43:36,227 --> 00:43:39,398 - And on every billboard-- - Magazine. 629 00:43:39,523 --> 00:43:41,734 That's right-- it wasjust about your body. 630 00:43:41,859 --> 00:43:45,905 There was so much time and money and energy spent obsessing and analyzing... 631 00:43:45,947 --> 00:43:49,119 trying to get a glimpse of your body, that soon it felt like... 632 00:43:49,244 --> 00:43:51,162 the world had forgotten about everything else... 633 00:43:51,246 --> 00:43:53,331 and you end up feeling... 634 00:43:53,416 --> 00:43:56,128 disconnected from your own body, like it's not even yours. 635 00:43:57,796 --> 00:44:00,800 If you're really serious about avoiding the male gaze-- 636 00:44:00,967 --> 00:44:04,389 - If the goal is anonymity-- - I never said the goal was anonymity. 637 00:44:04,513 --> 00:44:06,224 Here's a little suggestion, okay? 638 00:44:06,349 --> 00:44:08,560 Putting on makeup. Styling your hair. 639 00:44:08,685 --> 00:44:12,690 Wearing a killer outfit and coming to a place like this on a Friday night. 640 00:44:12,815 --> 00:44:15,944 That's when it gets interesting, because at a certain point... 641 00:44:16,069 --> 00:44:18,866 - you start internalizing the male gaze. - Not the best course of action. 642 00:44:18,949 --> 00:44:21,493 Male gaze. Madison Avenue. Fucking patriarchy. 643 00:44:21,619 --> 00:44:23,538 Whatever it is, it's done its number on you. 644 00:44:23,622 --> 00:44:26,959 Do you think you have any control over who you find attractive? 645 00:44:27,043 --> 00:44:29,796 - Of course we do. - I think not, and I'll prove it to you. 646 00:44:29,880 --> 00:44:35,178 Ask any woman, "What's the single most attractive quality a man can possess?" 647 00:44:35,261 --> 00:44:37,724 - And what do they invariably answer? - Sense of humor. 648 00:44:37,807 --> 00:44:40,268 - Sense of humor. - Sense of humor is huge. Definitely. 649 00:44:40,393 --> 00:44:44,775 And yet, if two lean, mean, play-by-their-own-rules... 650 00:44:44,942 --> 00:44:49,447 motorcycle-riding men strolled up to this booth... 651 00:44:49,530 --> 00:44:53,409 and beat the shit out of us two humorous guys, right... 652 00:44:54,286 --> 00:44:56,748 and asked you out for a ride, you would be weak at the knees. 653 00:44:56,831 --> 00:44:59,210 - No way. - Weak at the knees. 654 00:44:59,251 --> 00:45:01,921 Well, actually, guys who ride cycles are pretty sexy. 655 00:45:02,046 --> 00:45:04,091 - Thank you. You see? - Sorry. 656 00:45:04,175 --> 00:45:08,471 The fact is that touchy-feely, weepy, in-touch-with-their-feelings guys... 657 00:45:08,596 --> 00:45:10,516 make you sick-- you're repulsed by them. 658 00:45:10,641 --> 00:45:13,228 Give me the lce Age, okay? Survival of the fittest. 659 00:45:13,311 --> 00:45:16,899 No mixed signals. No bullshit. 660 00:45:17,024 --> 00:45:20,279 Just the meanest, hairiest bastard wins all the time. 661 00:45:20,362 --> 00:45:22,156 Let's change the subject right now. 662 00:45:22,282 --> 00:45:27,037 You know, it's interesting. All this looking is so masculine. 663 00:45:27,163 --> 00:45:29,833 I mean, you guys arejust about the visuals. 664 00:45:30,000 --> 00:45:32,670 Really. Why is it that when I'm going down on a guy-- 665 00:45:32,753 --> 00:45:35,589 - Sophie! - No, really. 666 00:45:35,673 --> 00:45:38,011 Why is it that when I'm doing my thing... 667 00:45:38,136 --> 00:45:40,013 why is it that men always insist on watching? 668 00:45:40,138 --> 00:45:43,058 Why can't you just close your eyes and concentrate on the feeling? 669 00:45:43,100 --> 00:45:45,353 It's not the most flattering activity for a woman. 670 00:45:45,478 --> 00:45:48,148 I'm not sure that that's a-- Maybe we can help. 671 00:45:48,273 --> 00:45:52,070 Nick, jump in here. A woman is doing her thing. 672 00:45:53,322 --> 00:45:55,324 Why do we have to watch? 673 00:45:58,786 --> 00:46:01,790 Well, maybe to make sure that it's actually happening? 674 00:46:02,917 --> 00:46:05,337 I'll buy that. Make sure we're not hallucinating. 675 00:46:05,420 --> 00:46:09,175 And maybe to file it away, in case it's a long time before the next one. 676 00:46:09,258 --> 00:46:12,679 Two excellent answers. Perhaps you'd elaborate on the filing it away part? 677 00:46:12,804 --> 00:46:14,349 File it away for what? 678 00:46:16,267 --> 00:46:18,688 - Oh. I don't know. - Come on, Nick. 679 00:46:18,813 --> 00:46:21,274 We're finally treading on some familiar territory here. 680 00:46:21,399 --> 00:46:24,737 Mom's in the kitchen makingJell-O with fruit. 681 00:46:24,862 --> 00:46:26,990 - You lock yourself in the bathroom-- - Don't sweat it, Nick. 682 00:46:27,074 --> 00:46:28,992 I grew up with three brothers. 683 00:46:29,077 --> 00:46:31,913 The closets were pornography museums. More visuals. 684 00:46:32,748 --> 00:46:34,751 You're right about the visual thing. 685 00:46:34,833 --> 00:46:36,795 It always drives me nuts when I hear a guy... 686 00:46:36,836 --> 00:46:39,799 going on about something a girl does that's supposed to be so sexy. 687 00:46:39,840 --> 00:46:43,261 - Like what kind of thing? - Like how she flips her hair. 688 00:46:43,387 --> 00:46:45,682 How she stands with one foot to the side. It could be anything. 689 00:46:45,807 --> 00:46:48,184 - What's wrong with that? - Because that's nothing. 690 00:46:48,267 --> 00:46:50,144 That'sjust something she does. 691 00:46:50,270 --> 00:46:53,274 And she probably only does it because she saw it in a movie. 692 00:46:53,400 --> 00:46:55,402 It's not their real stuff. 693 00:46:55,485 --> 00:46:58,656 All that stuff-- the hair flips, the mannerisms, the catch phrases. 694 00:46:58,739 --> 00:47:02,494 They add up to the personality. So they are what's real. 695 00:47:02,577 --> 00:47:05,957 Yeah, but it's all the outside stuff. That's fine in the beginning. 696 00:47:06,040 --> 00:47:07,751 You need the outside stuff. 697 00:47:07,876 --> 00:47:09,796 You need, like, the reasons to be in love. 698 00:47:09,879 --> 00:47:11,799 But you can get past that to the part... 699 00:47:11,882 --> 00:47:13,509 where the little tricks don't mean anything. 700 00:47:13,592 --> 00:47:16,721 I say you are attracted to what is in front of you. End of story. 701 00:47:16,847 --> 00:47:18,015 How romantic. 702 00:47:19,642 --> 00:47:21,811 It takes years and years together. 703 00:47:21,936 --> 00:47:23,647 - Yeah? - I can't describe it exactly... 704 00:47:23,689 --> 00:47:25,817 but it's like there's nothing she can do. 705 00:47:25,942 --> 00:47:28,862 All her usual ways of hooking you in have no effect... 706 00:47:28,945 --> 00:47:30,948 and yet you're still in love. 707 00:47:31,074 --> 00:47:32,951 It's like the act is over... 708 00:47:33,076 --> 00:47:34,995 and you get to the part she's been hiding. 709 00:47:35,120 --> 00:47:38,916 And she's been hiding it because she thinks that's the part... 710 00:47:39,000 --> 00:47:42,297 that's gonna blow it or make you leave or get bored... 711 00:47:42,380 --> 00:47:45,968 but you get to that part, and you're still there. 712 00:47:47,053 --> 00:47:49,556 And you're even more in love. 713 00:47:54,270 --> 00:47:55,521 Wow. 714 00:47:55,647 --> 00:47:58,859 Have you met my nephew? His name isJesus. 715 00:47:58,942 --> 00:48:00,779 How old are you, Nick? 716 00:48:00,862 --> 00:48:02,155 I'm 1 6. 717 00:48:02,280 --> 00:48:05,785 Stay strong, Sophie. There's a thousand of my dollars at stake here. 718 00:48:05,910 --> 00:48:08,539 Are we still on a one-drink limit? 719 00:48:08,665 --> 00:48:11,669 - I think we can have one more. - Yeah, I'm in. 720 00:48:11,752 --> 00:48:14,004 Great. Scootch out of there, Sophie. 721 00:48:14,129 --> 00:48:16,174 - Who wants what? - Sophie knows what I like. 722 00:48:16,299 --> 00:48:18,886 -Just some ice water, please. - Okay, that's charming. 723 00:48:19,011 --> 00:48:20,136 Nick? 724 00:48:20,220 --> 00:48:24,142 A player might consider taking advantage of this time alone with Andrea. 725 00:48:24,267 --> 00:48:26,896 Andrea. Yeah. You can take your time. 726 00:48:36,951 --> 00:48:38,953 - Hi. - Hey. 727 00:48:40,539 --> 00:48:42,749 - What's the deal with your uncle? - I don't know. 728 00:48:42,833 --> 00:48:46,088 This is really the first time I've hung out with him socially. 729 00:48:46,963 --> 00:48:50,051 - Do you live in the city? - I live in Ohio with my mom. 730 00:48:51,011 --> 00:48:52,972 She and Roger don't really speak anymore. 731 00:48:53,806 --> 00:48:55,057 Ohio? 732 00:48:56,101 --> 00:48:58,228 Do you have a girlfriend back home? 733 00:48:59,354 --> 00:49:01,316 No. Not right now. 734 00:49:10,036 --> 00:49:13,665 Nick, can you do me a favor? 735 00:49:13,749 --> 00:49:15,250 Okay. 736 00:49:25,638 --> 00:49:27,391 Pick that up. 737 00:49:30,729 --> 00:49:33,316 - Protein for stamina. - Let's switch, Andrea. 738 00:49:33,441 --> 00:49:35,985 - Okay. I suppose it's your turn. - Yeah, good idea. 739 00:49:36,110 --> 00:49:40,367 Keep things fresh and help us fight that second-round lag. 740 00:49:40,450 --> 00:49:43,078 - What's that? - That's a conversational lag... 741 00:49:43,119 --> 00:49:46,458 that often occurs after the ordering of the second round. 742 00:49:46,540 --> 00:49:50,254 Actually, Nick was telling me about you and your relationship with his mother. 743 00:49:50,337 --> 00:49:54,092 - No secret there. She's my sister. - Your relationship with her. 744 00:49:54,175 --> 00:49:57,180 Not your relationship to her. Nick says they don't speak. 745 00:49:57,305 --> 00:50:00,393 That's terrible. I mean, you need your family. 746 00:50:00,476 --> 00:50:03,689 - Yeah. - What do you think happened, Nick? 747 00:50:04,731 --> 00:50:07,985 My mom's a lot older than Roger. Like nine years. 748 00:50:08,069 --> 00:50:10,406 You must have been quite the little surprise, Roger. 749 00:50:10,531 --> 00:50:13,158 A nine-year gap doesn't necessarily mean an unplanned pregnancy. 750 00:50:14,744 --> 00:50:17,665 But, apparently, I did come as a bit of a surprise. 751 00:50:17,748 --> 00:50:19,751 Really? I didn't know that. 752 00:50:19,793 --> 00:50:22,212 That doesn't explain why you and your sister don't get along. 753 00:50:22,337 --> 00:50:25,007 Let'sjust say we don't have much in common. 754 00:50:25,800 --> 00:50:29,221 My mom says that when Roger was little, he could talk himself out of anything. 755 00:50:29,304 --> 00:50:31,434 He never got in trouble, even when he got caught. 756 00:50:31,559 --> 00:50:35,813 - She called him "Roger Dodger." - That's perfect for you. 757 00:50:35,980 --> 00:50:39,234 There's nothing wrong with a high verbal ability. Nick's got it too. 758 00:50:39,317 --> 00:50:41,446 I wanna be like Granddad. He almost never talks. 759 00:50:41,571 --> 00:50:44,116 But when he does, everyone kind of leans forward. 760 00:50:44,241 --> 00:50:46,202 You know, my dad's like that. 761 00:50:46,286 --> 00:50:48,872 The difference being that what my father has to say is usually... 762 00:50:48,997 --> 00:50:51,042 some variation on, "Get me another scotch." 763 00:50:51,125 --> 00:50:53,420 - Like father, like son? - No, like daughter. 764 00:50:53,545 --> 00:50:55,130 - I get my-- - Whose daughter? 765 00:50:55,255 --> 00:50:57,759 - What do you mean, "like daughter?" - No joke. 766 00:50:57,884 --> 00:51:01,430 Mom keeps a bottle in the laundry basket. She has foryears. 767 00:51:03,558 --> 00:51:05,061 - Oh, God, Nick. - That's awful. 768 00:51:05,186 --> 00:51:08,857 She's not a wreck or anything. She's just-- What do you call it? 769 00:51:08,982 --> 00:51:10,901 - High-functioning. - Yeah. That's Susan all right. 770 00:51:11,026 --> 00:51:12,987 She's always functioned at a high level. 771 00:51:13,070 --> 00:51:16,866 - She'sjust really high, you know? - How can you joke about that? 772 00:51:16,949 --> 00:51:19,454 You can joke about anything that has to do with yourself. 773 00:51:19,579 --> 00:51:21,581 It's a basic human right. Isn't that right, Nick? 774 00:51:22,917 --> 00:51:25,586 I think that's constitutional or something. 775 00:51:25,711 --> 00:51:28,965 Freedom of speech. Freedom tojoke. 776 00:51:29,049 --> 00:51:31,344 You know what? I need the ladies' room. 777 00:51:31,469 --> 00:51:33,764 Let's let the boys discuss these new revelations. 778 00:51:33,889 --> 00:51:35,475 - Good idea. - I don't-- All right. 779 00:51:35,599 --> 00:51:37,018 All right. 780 00:51:39,271 --> 00:51:41,232 Be careful. We'll be waiting. 781 00:51:43,068 --> 00:51:44,986 Are you sure you want to get laid tonight? 782 00:51:45,070 --> 00:51:46,697 I thought you would like to know that. 783 00:51:46,823 --> 00:51:48,699 I am not the one who is here to learn. 784 00:51:48,825 --> 00:51:50,701 For most of us, this is a forgetting place. 785 00:51:50,827 --> 00:51:52,621 - All right? - We were talking about Granddad. 786 00:51:52,746 --> 00:51:54,624 - I figured-- - You felt qualified to jump in... 787 00:51:54,749 --> 00:51:56,627 and expound on that particular topic? 788 00:51:56,710 --> 00:51:58,170 That's right. I'm sorry. 789 00:51:58,254 --> 00:52:01,299 You're an expert on that subject now. You guys arejoined at the fucking hip. 790 00:52:01,425 --> 00:52:03,343 I wanted to keep the conversation going. 791 00:52:03,428 --> 00:52:05,680 There are four of us in this booth. 792 00:52:05,763 --> 00:52:07,850 Think of it as a game of bridge. 793 00:52:09,935 --> 00:52:13,231 In bridge, you have two sets of partners, okay? 794 00:52:13,356 --> 00:52:15,234 If you hope to become the kind of man... 795 00:52:15,359 --> 00:52:17,278 that other men choose to go into battle with... 796 00:52:17,361 --> 00:52:19,699 you have to learn to read your partner. 797 00:52:19,824 --> 00:52:22,785 It should have been obvious I don't want to talk about the family tonight. 798 00:52:23,829 --> 00:52:25,038 A little while ago... 799 00:52:25,122 --> 00:52:28,001 we were listening to Sophie describe herself giving a blowjob. 800 00:52:28,084 --> 00:52:30,004 Don't you think that's slightly more fertile ground... 801 00:52:30,129 --> 00:52:32,715 than what's at the bottom of your mother's laundry basket? 802 00:52:34,593 --> 00:52:37,388 Pull your weight and steer the conversation back... 803 00:52:37,513 --> 00:52:39,974 to something in the same universe as sex. 804 00:52:40,057 --> 00:52:43,479 Remember, the thing that was supposed to be the primary focus this evening? 805 00:52:43,604 --> 00:52:45,315 Don't make me resort to the fail-safe. 806 00:52:47,233 --> 00:52:50,030 - Where are you going? - Excuse me. 807 00:52:50,113 --> 00:52:52,115 No. Bad idea. 808 00:52:52,240 --> 00:52:53,618 Ah,Jesus. 809 00:53:23,698 --> 00:53:25,867 Everything okay over there? 810 00:53:25,951 --> 00:53:27,829 No. I can't go with you standing there. 811 00:53:27,954 --> 00:53:30,833 - Why not? - I just can't. Get out of here. 812 00:53:30,958 --> 00:53:33,628 Can't go through life with a shy bladder, Nick. 813 00:53:33,711 --> 00:53:35,714 You're gonna be spending a lot of time in bars. 814 00:53:35,798 --> 00:53:37,758 Most of them will have restrooms just like this one. 815 00:53:39,177 --> 00:53:41,430 Fine. Then you go. You go first. 816 00:53:41,555 --> 00:53:44,517 I don't have to. Just came in to rinse my hands. 817 00:53:46,186 --> 00:53:47,603 Forget it. 818 00:53:52,235 --> 00:53:54,989 - Let's go, kid. - No, look. I'm with somebody. 819 00:53:56,157 --> 00:53:58,618 Uncle Roger, could you please tell him? He doesn't-- 820 00:53:58,702 --> 00:54:01,080 - How you doing? - No, I don't know him. 821 00:54:01,164 --> 00:54:03,082 - Bedtime, kid. Let's go. - Uncle Roger. 822 00:54:03,166 --> 00:54:05,127 - Come on, kid. Out. - Could you please-- 823 00:54:06,003 --> 00:54:08,840 He's my-- Uncle Roger! Really, go back in there. 824 00:54:10,383 --> 00:54:12,261 Look, I'm an actor. I'm researching a role. 825 00:54:12,344 --> 00:54:14,347 - Good luck with that. - Okay. 826 00:54:44,678 --> 00:54:46,306 - You okay? - Oh, hey. 827 00:54:46,389 --> 00:54:49,392 I guess I should've waited to use the bathroom. 828 00:54:49,476 --> 00:54:53,147 Okay. Unless the novelty of hanging out with prom king here has worn off... 829 00:54:53,273 --> 00:54:55,943 I suggest we get a bottle and find someplace with a view. 830 00:54:59,823 --> 00:55:03,119 - All right. Let's find a view. - Let's find a view. Ladies. 831 00:55:22,853 --> 00:55:25,189 - That was close. - That's good. Thank you. 832 00:55:25,231 --> 00:55:27,484 - This is the finest. - That's good.Just a little bit. 833 00:55:27,568 --> 00:55:28,777 Thank you. 834 00:55:28,861 --> 00:55:31,447 Just a little. That's good. That's good. 835 00:55:33,450 --> 00:55:35,244 - How do you like the wine? - I like it. 836 00:55:35,369 --> 00:55:37,371 It makes my chest feel warm. 837 00:55:37,497 --> 00:55:40,041 - Roger, you're a bad influence. - Yes, I am. 838 00:55:40,167 --> 00:55:42,587 - Alcohol, women of loose morals. - And gambling. 839 00:55:42,670 --> 00:55:44,130 That's right. Gambling. 840 00:55:44,255 --> 00:55:46,468 I don't see Nick complaining. 841 00:55:46,551 --> 00:55:48,803 Although I have to say, for women of loose morals... 842 00:55:49,889 --> 00:55:52,975 conversation has been pretty tame so far tonight. 843 00:55:53,935 --> 00:55:57,398 With the notable exception of Sophie's oral presentation. 844 00:55:57,482 --> 00:55:58,566 Shut up. 845 00:55:58,649 --> 00:56:02,363 It'd be helpful for Nick to hear more of the female perspective of the sex act. 846 00:56:02,529 --> 00:56:04,574 - Do you agree? - God. 847 00:56:05,283 --> 00:56:07,035 Where to begin? 848 00:56:07,076 --> 00:56:09,079 Nick will get us started. Nick? 849 00:56:13,461 --> 00:56:15,004 Go ahead. 850 00:56:15,671 --> 00:56:17,548 Ask away. Any question you like. 851 00:56:17,673 --> 00:56:18,926 Keep it interesting. 852 00:56:18,967 --> 00:56:20,303 All right. 853 00:56:23,348 --> 00:56:25,768 I guess I'd like to know what your first time was like. 854 00:56:26,769 --> 00:56:29,231 - That's what you come up with? - That is a great question. 855 00:56:29,356 --> 00:56:30,608 Thank you. 856 00:56:31,901 --> 00:56:33,444 I'll go first. 857 00:56:36,615 --> 00:56:39,787 - It was myjunioryear. - High school or college? 858 00:56:41,205 --> 00:56:42,748 High school. 859 00:56:42,873 --> 00:56:45,669 His name was Bobby Rushton, and we weren't even dating. 860 00:56:45,752 --> 00:56:49,215 I just picked him out one day and decided he was gonna be the one. 861 00:56:49,298 --> 00:56:51,676 - Why did you pick him? - Sense of humor? 862 00:56:52,719 --> 00:56:55,557 Ha-ha. He was funny, as I remember, but... 863 00:56:55,723 --> 00:56:58,477 it was something more than that. 864 00:56:58,561 --> 00:57:01,940 It was like this vibe. 865 00:57:02,023 --> 00:57:03,984 I knew he would be nice. 866 00:57:04,067 --> 00:57:07,655 He wasn't very popular, and I didn't think he'd brag about me to his friends. 867 00:57:07,781 --> 00:57:10,492 - That's halfthe fun. - Well, he didn't. 868 00:57:10,617 --> 00:57:12,579 He wasjust as nervous as I was. 869 00:57:13,789 --> 00:57:15,833 Which is part of the reason that I picked him... 870 00:57:15,958 --> 00:57:19,212 because I think I wanted to have some control. 871 00:57:19,337 --> 00:57:22,300 - You know? - You were his first as well then? 872 00:57:22,383 --> 00:57:25,470 Yeah. In fact, I went with him to go get the condoms. 873 00:57:25,596 --> 00:57:27,640 We biked all the way across town... 874 00:57:27,724 --> 00:57:30,226 because we were so afraid someone might see us. 875 00:57:30,351 --> 00:57:32,771 - We planned the thing for a month. - I love this story. 876 00:57:33,647 --> 00:57:37,068 - Yes. - So, where did you, you know? 877 00:57:38,738 --> 00:57:41,240 It was in my house, in my room. 878 00:57:42,075 --> 00:57:44,036 My parents were away for the weekend. 879 00:57:44,161 --> 00:57:47,874 - Did you bleed? - The usual. Not too bad. 880 00:57:47,916 --> 00:57:49,919 Wait. So it hurts the first time? 881 00:57:51,712 --> 00:57:54,050 Well, it really hurts... 882 00:57:55,593 --> 00:57:57,554 that first second. 883 00:57:58,722 --> 00:58:01,518 And then after that, it'sjust new. 884 00:58:01,601 --> 00:58:05,689 You know? It's like this new feeling for your body. 885 00:58:05,773 --> 00:58:07,191 So how was he? 886 00:58:08,443 --> 00:58:11,489 - Matter of seconds? - No way! He kept going like a champ. 887 00:58:11,614 --> 00:58:13,784 I had to ask him to hurry up, actually. 888 00:58:13,909 --> 00:58:15,202 - Ow! - Yeah. 889 00:58:15,285 --> 00:58:19,499 He did admit to masturbating like crazy beforehand so he wouldn'tjust-- 890 00:58:19,666 --> 00:58:22,878 - Like he wasn't doing that already. - No, he sounds like a nice guy. 891 00:58:23,003 --> 00:58:25,257 - He sounds like a dream come true. - He was a nice guy. 892 00:58:25,339 --> 00:58:27,802 He's a cop now. He's got four kids. 893 00:58:27,885 --> 00:58:30,346 Early sex is an absolute humiliation. 894 00:58:30,429 --> 00:58:34,394 Oh. Speak for yourself. My first time was wonderful. 895 00:58:34,519 --> 00:58:36,188 Oh, yeah? 896 00:58:36,313 --> 00:58:38,274 Let me take a wild guess. 897 00:58:39,483 --> 00:58:41,653 - An older gentleman. - Right you are. 898 00:58:41,778 --> 00:58:43,239 - Married? - Right again. 899 00:58:44,447 --> 00:58:45,867 How old were you? 900 00:58:45,950 --> 00:58:48,369 I was 1 9. Freshman in college. 901 00:58:48,452 --> 00:58:51,249 Guess you didn't spend a lot of time getting to know your roommates. 902 00:58:51,374 --> 00:58:55,170 No. No, I don't even remember what they look like. 903 00:58:56,297 --> 00:58:58,133 So what happened? 904 00:58:59,509 --> 00:59:03,264 Well, believe it or not, he ended up staying with his wife. 905 00:59:04,390 --> 00:59:05,976 What are the odds? 906 00:59:06,101 --> 00:59:08,062 What did you do when you realized he wasn't going to leave her? 907 00:59:08,146 --> 00:59:11,357 Well, Nick, I got over it eventually... 908 00:59:11,482 --> 00:59:13,445 and vowed not to repeat the mistake. 909 00:59:13,570 --> 00:59:16,573 - And how's that going? - Some months are better than others. 910 00:59:16,656 --> 00:59:18,158 - Uh-huh. - Sophie-- 911 00:59:18,241 --> 00:59:20,495 - I didn't say anything. - What can I do? They're all married. 912 00:59:20,579 --> 00:59:22,706 I promised I would not be a nag. It's okay. 913 00:59:22,831 --> 00:59:25,126 You, hotshot. Tell us about your first time. 914 00:59:28,172 --> 00:59:31,885 Actually, I think Nick's story is much more interesting. Nick? 915 00:59:32,929 --> 00:59:35,223 - This I want to hear. - Yeah. 916 00:59:37,850 --> 00:59:39,603 Nicholas? 917 00:59:39,728 --> 00:59:42,857 Well, this is hard to admit, but... 918 00:59:44,567 --> 00:59:47,113 I've never had sex. 919 00:59:51,910 --> 00:59:53,746 You're a virgin? 920 00:59:54,957 --> 00:59:56,208 Yes. 921 01:00:01,005 --> 01:00:03,300 That is so sexy. Am I right? 922 01:00:03,384 --> 01:00:05,345 - It's hot. - Really? 923 01:00:05,387 --> 01:00:07,097 - Yeah. - Do you have a girlfriend? 924 01:00:07,180 --> 01:00:09,725 - No. Never. - Have you ever kissed a girl? 925 01:00:09,850 --> 01:00:12,729 Yeah, a couple of times in junior high playing truth or dare... 926 01:00:12,854 --> 01:00:15,483 but they weren't like real kisses. 927 01:00:15,567 --> 01:00:16,901 No tongue? 928 01:00:17,653 --> 01:00:20,824 I guess, but more than that. They were just stiff. 929 01:00:20,949 --> 01:00:22,826 Not like I imagined that they should be. 930 01:00:22,951 --> 01:00:25,204 Nick, come here for a second. 931 01:00:28,959 --> 01:00:30,711 Oh, my God. 932 01:00:53,824 --> 01:00:56,119 Now, don't fall in love with me or anything, okay? 933 01:00:57,997 --> 01:01:00,166 That wasjust to get you through junioryear. 934 01:01:00,207 --> 01:01:01,877 All right. 935 01:01:05,173 --> 01:01:07,217 I couldn't resist being your first kiss. 936 01:01:07,300 --> 01:01:08,552 That's right. 937 01:01:08,677 --> 01:01:11,932 Forever and ever, you will be his first kiss. 938 01:01:12,807 --> 01:01:14,851 - Get away from me. - Come on. For symmetry. 939 01:01:14,976 --> 01:01:16,938 No, not a chance. Nick. 940 01:01:17,773 --> 01:01:20,567 - How do you feel? - My heart is beating really fast. 941 01:01:20,652 --> 01:01:23,112 - He knowsjust what to say. - Is he a good kisser? 942 01:01:23,196 --> 01:01:26,033 Oh, he's gonna break some hearts. 943 01:01:26,825 --> 01:01:28,578 How 'bout down below, Nick? 944 01:01:28,703 --> 01:01:30,872 Any, you know, vertical displacement? 945 01:01:30,997 --> 01:01:33,626 Leave him alone. How you doing, Casanova? 946 01:01:33,751 --> 01:01:35,379 - I'm okay. - Sure? 947 01:01:35,462 --> 01:01:37,130 - Yeah. - Okay. 948 01:01:37,256 --> 01:01:40,594 Look, I confess. I'm married. I keep my ring in my wallet. 949 01:01:40,678 --> 01:01:42,680 Even if you were married. 950 01:01:47,270 --> 01:01:48,770 Yeah, yeah. 951 01:01:51,567 --> 01:01:52,609 So, Nick. 952 01:01:52,734 --> 01:01:55,946 Take a moment to file this away for later. You understand what I mean? 953 01:01:57,240 --> 01:01:58,325 Just think, Sophie. 954 01:01:59,243 --> 01:02:02,622 In the next six months, every time Nick jerks off, he'll be picturing you. 955 01:02:02,747 --> 01:02:04,583 - Don't be an asshole. - I don't do that, okay? 956 01:02:04,666 --> 01:02:07,128 It's true. Okay, so I'm not married. 957 01:02:07,253 --> 01:02:09,298 What's important is the emotional unavailability, right? 958 01:02:09,423 --> 01:02:11,383 - That's what you look for. - I'm leaving. 959 01:02:13,636 --> 01:02:16,098 And, Sophie, you've even provided young Nicholas here... 960 01:02:16,223 --> 01:02:19,227 with a particular image to help structure his fantasy. 961 01:02:20,437 --> 01:02:22,314 Fuck you, Roger. Do you have a place to stay tonight? 962 01:02:22,439 --> 01:02:24,860 - He's staying with me. - You can come with us. 963 01:02:24,943 --> 01:02:28,656 He's with me. Unless you're finally ready to do something constructive. 964 01:02:28,781 --> 01:02:31,117 Like help Nick have an orgasm, huh, Sophie? 965 01:02:31,200 --> 01:02:34,330 - It's time to cut your uncle loose. - You're disgusting. We're outta here. 966 01:02:34,455 --> 01:02:35,957 - You take care. - Andrea? 967 01:02:36,041 --> 01:02:37,626 - Oh, disgusting. - Fuck you. 968 01:02:37,751 --> 01:02:39,587 Ladies? l-- 969 01:02:40,255 --> 01:02:42,174 Was it something he said? 970 01:02:42,257 --> 01:02:43,675 Asshole! 971 01:02:44,801 --> 01:02:47,640 But no. Don't l-- Okay, here's your chance. 972 01:02:47,765 --> 01:02:49,642 What are you talking about? Why did you say that? 973 01:02:49,725 --> 01:02:51,478 Good cop, bad cop. 974 01:02:51,519 --> 01:02:54,022 I planted the seed. Now go and close the deal, all right? 975 01:02:54,147 --> 01:02:56,107 - I can't go-- - You think you'll get a better chance? 976 01:02:56,233 --> 01:02:58,487 Go, for Christ's sake, and remember the primary objective. 977 01:02:58,612 --> 01:03:00,113 Go, go, go! 978 01:03:10,836 --> 01:03:12,838 Run, Nick, run. 979 01:03:20,723 --> 01:03:21,976 Sophie! 980 01:03:23,394 --> 01:03:26,773 Hey, Sophie. I'm sorry. 981 01:03:27,816 --> 01:03:30,194 Don't worry about it. It's not your fault he's a jerk. 982 01:03:30,319 --> 01:03:33,865 I know. I wish it didn't have to just end like this. 983 01:03:35,326 --> 01:03:36,996 We're going now. 984 01:03:37,787 --> 01:03:40,249 I suggest you call off your bet and go home. 985 01:03:41,041 --> 01:03:43,128 The bet thing wasjust bullshit, okay? 986 01:03:44,755 --> 01:03:46,090 I know. 987 01:03:48,218 --> 01:03:49,970 You take it easy, okay? 988 01:03:50,095 --> 01:03:52,598 Look, I want us to-- 989 01:03:54,100 --> 01:03:56,645 Don't spoil the wonderful time we had tonight. 990 01:03:57,563 --> 01:03:59,190 You know? 991 01:04:05,532 --> 01:04:07,451 This is to remember me by. 992 01:04:16,921 --> 01:04:18,882 Take care, Nick. 993 01:04:18,923 --> 01:04:20,926 We need more men like you. 994 01:04:47,002 --> 01:04:48,546 Hey. 995 01:04:48,630 --> 01:04:49,714 What happened? 996 01:04:49,798 --> 01:04:51,634 What? Nothing happened. 997 01:04:52,676 --> 01:04:53,636 So you're oh for one. 998 01:04:53,761 --> 01:04:55,764 She wasn't gonna go for it. I couldn't ask her. 999 01:04:55,889 --> 01:04:58,559 - You gonna sleep with Sophie tonight? - It was obvious. She was not-- 1000 01:04:58,643 --> 01:05:01,479 Are you going to have sex with Sophie tonight? 1001 01:05:04,650 --> 01:05:07,154 - No. - Then I repeat: you're oh for one. 1002 01:05:07,238 --> 01:05:10,366 You need to learn how to finish. Anyone can get halfway home. 1003 01:05:14,330 --> 01:05:16,541 We're switching to plan B. Hey! 1004 01:05:18,335 --> 01:05:21,005 I think a change of venue will improve your luck. 1005 01:05:39,946 --> 01:05:41,990 Wait! Hold up! Stop! 1006 01:06:26,215 --> 01:06:28,635 Do me a favor. Stay here till we're inside. 1007 01:06:28,760 --> 01:06:30,720 - So where we goin'? - Finish up. 1008 01:06:33,641 --> 01:06:36,770 - We're going to a party. Come on. - Whose party is it? 1009 01:06:39,148 --> 01:06:41,651 Fuck! Over here. Over here. 1010 01:06:43,070 --> 01:06:45,198 Look at this. Beautiful glasswork. 1011 01:07:00,426 --> 01:07:01,844 Whoa, whoa. 1012 01:07:05,808 --> 01:07:07,059 Why we running? 1013 01:07:07,184 --> 01:07:09,061 That doorman has a hateful personality. 1014 01:07:09,187 --> 01:07:11,898 Listen up. It's gonna be a whole new dynamic up there. 1015 01:07:11,982 --> 01:07:13,192 Stay focused. 1016 01:07:13,276 --> 01:07:15,903 Don't talk to any guys. That's a definite rally-killer. 1017 01:07:15,987 --> 01:07:18,783 Keep moving at all times. No hiding in the bathroom. 1018 01:07:19,533 --> 01:07:21,579 Here we are. Hey. 1019 01:07:24,999 --> 01:07:27,210 - Look who it is. - Hey, Chris. How are you? 1020 01:07:27,336 --> 01:07:29,213 This is my nephew Nick. Chris. 1021 01:07:29,339 --> 01:07:31,424 - How are you? - How ya doin'? 1022 01:07:36,556 --> 01:07:39,560 Wait. Do you have a bathroom I could use? 1023 01:07:39,685 --> 01:07:41,605 - A what? - A bathroom I could use? 1024 01:07:41,687 --> 01:07:42,773 A what? 1025 01:07:43,690 --> 01:07:45,692 I've been trying to shake this woman all night. 1026 01:07:47,695 --> 01:07:49,114 This is Donovan. 1027 01:07:49,238 --> 01:07:51,659 I'm the only one here that's my age. 1028 01:07:51,785 --> 01:07:54,079 Where did you think we were going, thejunior prom? 1029 01:07:55,373 --> 01:07:56,916 I think I'm drunk. 1030 01:07:59,503 --> 01:08:00,629 Come here. 1031 01:08:03,341 --> 01:08:05,677 Nick. Do you know where we are? 1032 01:08:06,970 --> 01:08:09,641 - I think you said Greenwich Street. - We're in winning time. 1033 01:08:09,766 --> 01:08:12,060 - Okay. Winning time. - Right. Okay? 1034 01:08:12,185 --> 01:08:14,773 It's a little harder to recognize than when you're in a bar... 1035 01:08:14,856 --> 01:08:16,817 but the concept is the same. 1036 01:08:18,653 --> 01:08:20,905 There's an incredible moment that happens when a party... 1037 01:08:20,988 --> 01:08:24,034 passes its apex, its peak. 1038 01:08:25,119 --> 01:08:28,164 As if by magic, suddenly every person in the room... 1039 01:08:28,289 --> 01:08:30,251 is acutely aware of the time. 1040 01:08:30,376 --> 01:08:33,505 It is at that moment that the fear hits. 1041 01:08:34,506 --> 01:08:37,593 - What fear? - The fear of the empty apartment. 1042 01:08:38,594 --> 01:08:39,847 Oh. Yeah. 1043 01:08:39,972 --> 01:08:42,182 That is more than most people can stand. 1044 01:08:43,143 --> 01:08:46,354 Desperation creeps into the room like a fog. 1045 01:08:46,480 --> 01:08:49,275 Eyes begin to search the crowd anxiously. 1046 01:08:49,400 --> 01:08:52,739 Standards are drastically lowered. I mean, it's palpable. 1047 01:08:53,656 --> 01:08:55,784 - You know what I'm saying? - Not really. 1048 01:08:58,955 --> 01:09:02,501 What I'm saying is, you have a real shot here, Nick. 1049 01:09:05,713 --> 01:09:09,552 This is the moment that separates a true champion. 1050 01:09:09,635 --> 01:09:11,764 You remember the reason you first asked for my help? 1051 01:09:12,513 --> 01:09:13,807 The primary goal? 1052 01:09:13,932 --> 01:09:15,893 - Yes. - Then let me help you... 1053 01:09:16,018 --> 01:09:17,812 to achieve it. 1054 01:09:29,536 --> 01:09:31,830 All right. So. 1055 01:09:31,955 --> 01:09:34,918 We need to scope out who the drinkers are. 1056 01:09:35,043 --> 01:09:37,881 Every party needs a pace car, a rabbit. 1057 01:09:38,964 --> 01:09:42,094 Always look for the girls who are two drinks ahead of everybody else. 1058 01:09:42,177 --> 01:09:43,763 How do you do that? 1059 01:09:43,846 --> 01:09:46,265 Listen for inappropriately loud bursts of laughter... 1060 01:09:46,432 --> 01:09:48,645 or scan the crowd for somebody spilling a drink. 1061 01:09:48,728 --> 01:09:52,441 Check the dance floor for somebody working out of their zone. 1062 01:09:52,525 --> 01:09:54,443 How about them? They seem pretty drunk. 1063 01:09:58,657 --> 01:09:59,951 Good afternoon. 1064 01:10:01,452 --> 01:10:05,332 God, this is so embarrassing. I don't know how this happened. 1065 01:10:05,457 --> 01:10:08,170 I'm so sorry. I'm sorry. 1066 01:10:08,212 --> 01:10:09,504 Hey, Donna. 1067 01:10:11,048 --> 01:10:12,758 - Hi. - How ya doin'? 1068 01:10:12,842 --> 01:10:14,469 - Well-- - Good. Listen. 1069 01:10:14,594 --> 01:10:16,471 This is my nephew I want to introduce. Nick. 1070 01:10:16,596 --> 01:10:18,684 - Hi. - I saw you earlier at the office. 1071 01:10:18,809 --> 01:10:20,853 Hi, Nick. Donna. 1072 01:10:20,978 --> 01:10:23,480 - Nice to see you. - You too. 1073 01:10:25,442 --> 01:10:28,028 - Roger's showing you the town? - Yeah, some of it. 1074 01:10:28,863 --> 01:10:30,449 Yeah, Nick's visiting. 1075 01:10:30,574 --> 01:10:32,785 Why don't you tell Donna about the bet we got going. 1076 01:10:32,910 --> 01:10:34,537 - See you in a second. - Huh? Wait. 1077 01:10:35,413 --> 01:10:38,792 What bet? What's he got you involved in? 1078 01:10:38,876 --> 01:10:41,337 - Oh, it's nothing. Really. - What is this? 1079 01:10:41,379 --> 01:10:43,340 Oh, that. I don't even know. 1080 01:10:43,424 --> 01:10:44,800 - It's cute. - Thanks. 1081 01:10:44,884 --> 01:10:46,635 I don't even use it. 1082 01:10:46,803 --> 01:10:49,182 Eighty. Hot. Eighty degrees. 1083 01:10:49,265 --> 01:10:51,476 That is hot. Yeah. 1084 01:10:54,063 --> 01:10:58,359 We made a bet whether I can get someone to fall in love with me tonight. 1085 01:10:58,485 --> 01:10:59,779 Wow. 1086 01:11:00,488 --> 01:11:02,824 - For how much? - A thousand bucks. 1087 01:11:04,535 --> 01:11:06,119 Get outta here. 1088 01:11:07,622 --> 01:11:09,582 Well, so, how's it going so far? 1089 01:11:11,502 --> 01:11:13,546 Excuse me. Thank you. 1090 01:11:14,547 --> 01:11:16,508 Thank you. Cheers. 1091 01:11:16,591 --> 01:11:17,760 Yeah. 1092 01:11:18,845 --> 01:11:20,597 To love. 1093 01:11:34,073 --> 01:11:36,033 Oh, hello. 1094 01:11:36,117 --> 01:11:39,872 You're not the infamous Roger Swanson I've heard so much about, are you? 1095 01:11:39,872 --> 01:11:41,165 That's me. Yes. 1096 01:11:41,290 --> 01:11:44,920 Joyce says of all of her copy people, you are the funniest. 1097 01:11:45,003 --> 01:11:46,965 - I'm a laugh riot. - No, she says that. 1098 01:11:47,006 --> 01:11:49,343 - Why would I lie? - What's your name? 1099 01:11:49,427 --> 01:11:51,595 I'm sorry. I haven't introduced myself. 1100 01:11:51,637 --> 01:11:54,599 I'm Patricia.Joyce and I went to college together. 1101 01:11:54,641 --> 01:11:56,769 Nice to meet you. Patty, would you do me a favor? 1102 01:11:56,853 --> 01:11:59,021 Sure. I can certainly try. 1103 01:11:59,105 --> 01:12:02,067 See that kid right over there in the corner? 1104 01:12:02,192 --> 01:12:04,154 - Yeah. - That's my nephew Nick. 1105 01:12:04,279 --> 01:12:06,156 - Oh, really. He's so cute. - He is. 1106 01:12:06,281 --> 01:12:08,368 - He's still a virgin. - No! 1107 01:12:08,452 --> 01:12:11,037 - Swear to God. - Poor boy. How old is he? 1108 01:12:11,163 --> 01:12:12,581 He's 1 6. Now, listen. 1109 01:12:12,748 --> 01:12:15,586 My time withJoyce taught me that older women fuck likejackrabbits... 1110 01:12:15,711 --> 01:12:18,672 and Nick is at his absolute peak sexually. 1111 01:12:18,798 --> 01:12:20,717 So, I figure, the two of you go at it... 1112 01:12:20,800 --> 01:12:22,720 it would be like Frazier and Ali. 1113 01:12:22,803 --> 01:12:24,597 - Right? - Something is wrong with you. 1114 01:12:24,680 --> 01:12:27,475 No, I'm serious. What do you say? 1115 01:12:27,601 --> 01:12:30,730 - As a kind of a... - I'm gonna-- 1116 01:12:30,772 --> 01:12:32,648 Red Cross moment or-- 1117 01:12:32,690 --> 01:12:34,778 Okay. Nice to see you. 1118 01:12:51,715 --> 01:12:55,261 - How's it goin' over here? - Hey, Roger. 1119 01:12:55,345 --> 01:12:58,432 - Now, who let you in? - Who let me in? You let me in. 1120 01:12:58,557 --> 01:12:59,893 What? 1121 01:13:00,644 --> 01:13:02,980 You know, Nick here is a real ladies' man. 1122 01:13:03,064 --> 01:13:05,024 You're lucky he's spending all this time with you. 1123 01:13:05,108 --> 01:13:07,402 Yeah, that's me. The lucky lady. 1124 01:13:09,530 --> 01:13:13,034 Actually... I think I had too much to drink. 1125 01:13:13,201 --> 01:13:15,329 - Uh-oh. - Would you like to lie down? 1126 01:13:15,455 --> 01:13:17,624 Nick, Nick. Excellent idea. 1127 01:13:17,707 --> 01:13:20,418 Good one. Come on, darling. Let's find you a place to lie down. 1128 01:13:20,544 --> 01:13:22,422 Oh, no.Just when things were getting good. 1129 01:13:22,506 --> 01:13:24,466 Things are still good. 1130 01:13:29,139 --> 01:13:31,142 - Come on. - Where are we going? 1131 01:13:31,267 --> 01:13:33,186 - We're going. - We are? 1132 01:13:33,228 --> 01:13:36,022 We're going right around this little corner. 1133 01:13:36,148 --> 01:13:38,109 - Here we go. - I forgot to eat. 1134 01:13:43,115 --> 01:13:45,285 Nick, stay with us. Keep close. 1135 01:13:45,410 --> 01:13:46,870 - Okay. - Good. 1136 01:13:46,911 --> 01:13:49,541 - All right. So I'll just-- - Oh, excellent. 1137 01:13:50,792 --> 01:13:53,087 - Are you all right? - I'll just leave you two together. 1138 01:13:53,171 --> 01:13:54,672 - Okay. - No, don't go. 1139 01:13:54,714 --> 01:13:57,301 - You're in capable hands, believe me. - What are you doing? 1140 01:13:57,384 --> 01:13:58,886 Hang on a second. 1141 01:14:10,610 --> 01:14:12,612 What are we gonna do? 1142 01:14:12,653 --> 01:14:16,575 We are not gonna do anything... at all. 1143 01:14:24,795 --> 01:14:26,798 I'll be on guard duty, okay? 1144 01:14:28,674 --> 01:14:31,970 You need to work fast. If I were you, I'd switch to the two-minute offense. 1145 01:14:32,012 --> 01:14:34,307 What are you talking about? Wait, Uncle Roger-- 1146 01:14:34,724 --> 01:14:36,017 Love you. 1147 01:14:40,022 --> 01:14:41,483 Don't go. 1148 01:14:54,917 --> 01:14:56,378 Oh, let me introduce you. 1149 01:14:56,503 --> 01:14:58,421 This is Donovan Lehman, Christopher Weland... 1150 01:14:58,547 --> 01:15:00,299 our two collaborators. 1151 01:15:00,383 --> 01:15:02,301 I think they're gonna be perfect for you. 1152 01:15:02,385 --> 01:15:05,514 You told me you wanted something a little bit magic, a bit surreal. 1153 01:15:05,556 --> 01:15:08,143 Hey, hey, Donovan. How are you, man? 1154 01:15:08,226 --> 01:15:10,604 - Roger. Hey, man. - How are you? 1155 01:15:10,646 --> 01:15:11,981 Hey, Chris. 1156 01:15:13,232 --> 01:15:14,484 Look at you two. 1157 01:15:14,609 --> 01:15:17,905 You seem like the happy couple. What's your secret? 1158 01:15:18,072 --> 01:15:20,658 Sorry. You know what they say about dipping the pen in the company ink. 1159 01:15:22,119 --> 01:15:25,498 - I guess so. - I know what they say. Yes, they do. 1160 01:15:27,750 --> 01:15:29,044 All right. 1161 01:15:47,026 --> 01:15:48,487 Look at you. 1162 01:18:03,453 --> 01:18:04,872 Go to sleep. 1163 01:18:38,291 --> 01:18:40,042 I think we got sidetracked there. 1164 01:18:40,126 --> 01:18:42,379 Seriously, Donovan, with all the pressure facing men today... 1165 01:18:42,504 --> 01:18:44,507 it's got to be tough to maintain a relationship. 1166 01:18:44,591 --> 01:18:46,552 I don't know. Let's ask a man. Chris? 1167 01:18:46,594 --> 01:18:48,596 Traditional male roles are being tossed aside... 1168 01:18:48,679 --> 01:18:51,348 before we have any chance to make an internal shift, don't you think? 1169 01:18:51,474 --> 01:18:55,021 Our culture seems designed to emasculate and infantilize. 1170 01:18:56,022 --> 01:18:58,191 - That's a strong statement. - Why don't you go and... 1171 01:18:58,316 --> 01:18:59,902 help yourselfto some food? 1172 01:18:59,985 --> 01:19:02,363 It's particularly true in a situation when the woman is... 1173 01:19:02,405 --> 01:19:04,825 two decades older than the man. 1174 01:19:05,784 --> 01:19:08,079 - Roger! - Approximately. 1175 01:19:11,500 --> 01:19:13,461 We were having this discussion the other day-- 1176 01:19:13,544 --> 01:19:16,048 Is it your mission in life to humiliate yourself? 1177 01:19:16,131 --> 01:19:18,218 It's more of a hobby really. 1178 01:19:18,301 --> 01:19:20,346 I want you to leave right now. 1179 01:19:20,471 --> 01:19:22,598 You want me to leave and go where? 1180 01:19:23,642 --> 01:19:26,353 Think very hard about what you're doing. 1181 01:19:26,478 --> 01:19:28,731 Go where,Joyce? Where do you want me to go? 1182 01:19:31,860 --> 01:19:33,111 You're through. 1183 01:19:33,237 --> 01:19:35,573 You lied to me. You are a liar. 1184 01:19:35,657 --> 01:19:37,743 - I want you to leave. - Who's he? 1185 01:19:37,868 --> 01:19:39,620 Who the fuck is he? 1186 01:19:39,745 --> 01:19:41,498 Who the fuck is he? 1187 01:19:41,581 --> 01:19:43,583 Who is he? What-- 1188 01:19:47,047 --> 01:19:48,340 Don't get comfortable. 1189 01:19:49,884 --> 01:19:52,845 Don't ever settle in like you own the place. Trust me. 1190 01:19:54,557 --> 01:19:56,559 There's always something gaining on you. 1191 01:19:57,394 --> 01:20:00,606 And here they come now. Hey, guys. Good luck. 1192 01:20:00,731 --> 01:20:02,525 Sorry. Take care now. 1193 01:20:03,693 --> 01:20:06,780 Let me get a coat here. Take care. 1194 01:20:06,822 --> 01:20:09,284 Nice to see you. Thanks,Joyce! Bye-bye! 1195 01:20:11,120 --> 01:20:12,621 Whatjust happened? 1196 01:20:12,663 --> 01:20:14,624 Excuse me. I'm sorry. 1197 01:20:28,434 --> 01:20:30,477 That didn't go exactly as I had hoped. 1198 01:20:35,568 --> 01:20:37,779 What happened in there? What were you shouting about? 1199 01:20:37,863 --> 01:20:39,823 Doesn't matter. What about you? 1200 01:20:39,948 --> 01:20:41,826 - Did you get it on with Donna? - No. 1201 01:20:41,951 --> 01:20:44,788 - Why not? - Are you kidding? She was passed out! 1202 01:20:44,872 --> 01:20:49,794 Nick, you have had one golden opportunity after another this evening. 1203 01:20:49,878 --> 01:20:52,423 You haven't exactly shown yourself to be a clutch player. 1204 01:20:52,506 --> 01:20:54,509 - Hey! - What happened in there? 1205 01:20:54,593 --> 01:20:56,929 - Are you drunk? - I'm going home. 1206 01:20:57,012 --> 01:20:59,432 - Where do you need to be dropped? - What? 1207 01:20:59,557 --> 01:21:00,851 That's it? 1208 01:21:01,977 --> 01:21:04,940 We've had a full evening. I think you're ready to fly solo. 1209 01:21:07,275 --> 01:21:09,904 - You said there was a fail-safe. - What fail-safe? 1210 01:21:10,863 --> 01:21:12,950 Back at the bar. You said there was a fail-safe. 1211 01:21:13,034 --> 01:21:14,243 Did l? 1212 01:21:16,037 --> 01:21:19,625 - I don't think you want the fail-safe. - No, I want it! Just stop. 1213 01:21:19,708 --> 01:21:21,418 - You sure? - Yes, I'm sure. 1214 01:21:21,543 --> 01:21:23,881 I'm not going home like this, all right? 1215 01:21:23,965 --> 01:21:25,298 I'm sure. Okay? 1216 01:21:27,719 --> 01:21:29,638 You know what? You're right. 1217 01:21:29,721 --> 01:21:32,850 Why give into a slump? Let's go down swinging. 1218 01:21:32,934 --> 01:21:35,437 - Yes. Like Michael Jordan. - Right. 1219 01:21:35,562 --> 01:21:38,525 That's the wrong sport, but I like your enthusiasm. Let's go. 1220 01:22:10,858 --> 01:22:12,319 All right. Thanks. 1221 01:22:29,883 --> 01:22:31,427 Come on. Come on. 1222 01:23:26,999 --> 01:23:29,335 Hey. Two of us. 1223 01:23:29,460 --> 01:23:30,920 That's 200. 1224 01:23:35,802 --> 01:23:37,387 One... two. 1225 01:23:40,058 --> 01:23:42,561 - Is he a minor? - I'm an actor. I'm researching a role. 1226 01:24:58,827 --> 01:25:00,620 It's a hundred to fuck me. 1227 01:25:18,685 --> 01:25:19,895 Tip. 1228 01:25:41,214 --> 01:25:42,342 Come on. 1229 01:25:49,976 --> 01:25:52,062 Wait.Just slow down. 1230 01:25:55,608 --> 01:25:57,027 Please slow down. 1231 01:26:52,683 --> 01:26:55,270 - We're goin' home. - Hey! Hey! 1232 01:26:55,395 --> 01:26:57,355 - What are you doing? - Easy, easy. 1233 01:26:57,439 --> 01:27:00,317 Get outta here. Motherfucker, get off me! 1234 01:27:00,401 --> 01:27:03,071 Motherfucker, get off me! 1235 01:27:03,195 --> 01:27:05,867 - Get off me! - Get outta here! 1236 01:27:05,950 --> 01:27:07,326 Nick! 1237 01:27:16,338 --> 01:27:17,674 Nick. 1238 01:27:23,222 --> 01:27:25,309 Nick, don't worry about it. 1239 01:27:33,027 --> 01:27:35,071 It's okay. It's all right! 1240 01:27:38,575 --> 01:27:39,660 Nick! 1241 01:27:42,706 --> 01:27:44,209 Chill! 1242 01:27:45,584 --> 01:27:47,546 It's all right, man. 1243 01:27:48,630 --> 01:27:49,924 Jesus. 1244 01:28:15,415 --> 01:28:17,543 Fucking booze. 1245 01:28:27,639 --> 01:28:28,891 Come on. 1246 01:29:13,407 --> 01:29:14,742 Come here. 1247 01:29:15,785 --> 01:29:17,914 -Jesus. - Don't tell-- 1248 01:29:17,955 --> 01:29:19,499 Go to sleep. 1249 01:29:30,179 --> 01:29:31,430 Okay. 1250 01:31:08,807 --> 01:31:10,726 Roger, pick up the goddamn phone. 1251 01:31:10,893 --> 01:31:13,146 Nick is gone. No one's seen him in two days. 1252 01:31:13,271 --> 01:31:16,233 I am frantic, and l need you to call me, please. 1253 01:31:43,853 --> 01:31:45,438 Oh, my God. 1254 01:31:53,866 --> 01:31:55,326 There's coffee. 1255 01:31:58,079 --> 01:31:59,582 I don't drink caffeine. 1256 01:32:01,500 --> 01:32:02,461 Yes. 1257 01:32:07,216 --> 01:32:09,135 I keep losing my balance. 1258 01:32:10,220 --> 01:32:12,055 - That'll pass. - Yeah. 1259 01:32:14,434 --> 01:32:15,852 So, Nick... 1260 01:32:16,604 --> 01:32:18,482 tell me more about Columbia. 1261 01:32:18,607 --> 01:32:20,567 What did you think of the campus? 1262 01:32:23,278 --> 01:32:25,866 I don't know. It was fine. 1263 01:32:28,285 --> 01:32:30,997 Did you... Iook around the neighborhood? 1264 01:32:31,080 --> 01:32:34,710 Maybe you could tell me about the different things you saw on your tour. 1265 01:32:41,010 --> 01:32:43,305 I'm sorry I got so mad. 1266 01:32:44,681 --> 01:32:46,225 You're what? 1267 01:32:47,811 --> 01:32:49,187 Last night. 1268 01:32:52,067 --> 01:32:55,070 You were trying to teach me the way that things are done, and l-- 1269 01:32:56,696 --> 01:32:59,618 I guess I kept fucking it up. So-- 1270 01:32:59,743 --> 01:33:01,995 So I shouldn't have gotten so mad. 1271 01:33:02,872 --> 01:33:06,043 I'm... sorry I disappointed you. 1272 01:33:09,255 --> 01:33:10,799 Uh-huh. Okay. 1273 01:33:10,882 --> 01:33:13,177 Anyone can have an off night. It's happened to me. 1274 01:33:16,097 --> 01:33:18,016 You said you score every night. 1275 01:33:18,100 --> 01:33:20,018 I say a lot of things. Look, Nick. 1276 01:33:22,565 --> 01:33:24,441 Call your mom, will you? 1277 01:33:24,567 --> 01:33:26,486 I'm sure she would like to hear from you. 1278 01:33:27,487 --> 01:33:29,282 Forget it. I'll see her when I get home. 1279 01:33:29,365 --> 01:33:31,367 Call her anyway. Come on. 1280 01:33:43,466 --> 01:33:45,427 I'll leave you to it. 1281 01:33:55,190 --> 01:33:57,150 I guess I'll see you at the next funeral. 1282 01:33:57,276 --> 01:33:58,486 Why? Who's sick? 1283 01:33:59,362 --> 01:34:00,947 What? No, I'm kidding. 1284 01:34:01,072 --> 01:34:02,240 Me too. 1285 01:34:05,328 --> 01:34:07,247 All right. Good-bye, Uncle Roger. 1286 01:34:07,331 --> 01:34:08,790 See you, Nick. 1287 01:34:17,385 --> 01:34:19,180 Don't tip. I got it. 1288 01:34:37,620 --> 01:34:40,290 How long does it usually take to get to the airport? 1289 01:34:40,415 --> 01:34:42,835 - About a half hour, sir. - Right. 1290 01:35:59,310 --> 01:36:01,062 You see Angela today? 1291 01:36:01,187 --> 01:36:03,190 - How come? - No bra. 1292 01:36:06,736 --> 01:36:08,363 I swear to God. 1293 01:36:09,322 --> 01:36:12,243 That's unhealthy. They're gonna sag when she gets older. 1294 01:36:12,326 --> 01:36:13,453 Fuck 'em up. 1295 01:36:13,578 --> 01:36:15,540 So go tell her, Nick. 1296 01:36:15,623 --> 01:36:16,831 What? 1297 01:36:18,543 --> 01:36:19,877 Go tell her. 1298 01:36:20,002 --> 01:36:21,713 Yeah, maybe she doesn't know. 1299 01:36:21,838 --> 01:36:24,551 - You know, you'd be doing her a favor. - Yeah. 1300 01:36:24,634 --> 01:36:26,220 A true favor. 1301 01:36:26,345 --> 01:36:27,596 Yeah. 1302 01:36:57,010 --> 01:36:59,012 Look who dropped by for a visit. 1303 01:37:02,808 --> 01:37:04,352 Girls. 1304 01:37:05,604 --> 01:37:06,981 Young women. 1305 01:37:09,817 --> 01:37:12,279 Female human beings. 1306 01:37:14,532 --> 01:37:16,868 Female hearts beating beneath... 1307 01:37:16,993 --> 01:37:18,704 those tight sweaters. 1308 01:37:18,829 --> 01:37:22,042 Feminine blood coursing through their veins. 1309 01:37:22,167 --> 01:37:25,796 Living, breathing girls. 1310 01:37:27,799 --> 01:37:30,762 What are you young men in the prime of your lives doing about this? 1311 01:37:30,845 --> 01:37:32,555 I'm doing plenty. 1312 01:37:32,722 --> 01:37:34,724 - Yeah? You're getting plenty of action? - Oh, yeah. 1313 01:37:34,807 --> 01:37:36,477 He has to beat 'em off with a stick. 1314 01:37:36,603 --> 01:37:41,359 Unfortunately, I'm not talking about "whack-off.com," okay? 1315 01:37:41,442 --> 01:37:44,154 I'm talking about the girls in this room. 1316 01:37:44,279 --> 01:37:46,281 I'm talking about communicating. 1317 01:37:46,406 --> 01:37:47,992 I'm talking about engaging. 1318 01:37:48,117 --> 01:37:50,578 I'm talking about standing up from this... 1319 01:37:52,248 --> 01:37:56,379 guys-only, Star Trek-convention, frankly, homoerotic little group... 1320 01:37:57,671 --> 01:38:00,050 and introducing yourself to one of these girls. 1321 01:38:00,133 --> 01:38:02,052 Yeah, but I always get so nervous. 1322 01:38:02,135 --> 01:38:04,430 Why? There's nothing at stake. 1323 01:38:04,514 --> 01:38:06,641 If there was a chance of you actually getting laid... 1324 01:38:06,767 --> 01:38:08,519 then you'd have a reason to be nervous. 1325 01:38:08,602 --> 01:38:10,522 Try working someone in a bar for three hours... 1326 01:38:10,605 --> 01:38:13,733 and then you gotta close the deal right before last call. 1327 01:38:13,818 --> 01:38:15,779 That's pressure. Okay? 1328 01:38:16,696 --> 01:38:19,032 You guys can treat this like it's a warm-up. 1329 01:38:20,075 --> 01:38:22,913 You're trying to find your style. So you get nervous? 1330 01:38:23,038 --> 01:38:26,000 Maybe you're the nervous guy. Maybe that's your hook. 1331 01:38:26,126 --> 01:38:28,920 So go ahead and blush. Stutter all you want. 1332 01:38:29,714 --> 01:38:31,924 Show her how she makes you feel. 1333 01:38:32,049 --> 01:38:34,261 Think of it. You're combining honesty and flattery. 1334 01:38:34,344 --> 01:38:36,179 - That's lethal. - Yeah, but... 1335 01:38:36,305 --> 01:38:38,766 you can't let a girl know how nervous you are. 1336 01:38:38,850 --> 01:38:41,103 You gotta let her know you're in control, right? 1337 01:38:43,147 --> 01:38:44,983 "In control"? Who is this guy? 1338 01:38:45,066 --> 01:38:47,445 You're in high school. You don't control any-- Look at your face. 1339 01:38:47,528 --> 01:38:49,615 Look at what you're eating, for Christ's sake. 1340 01:38:49,740 --> 01:38:51,617 Look at that shirt. 1341 01:38:51,700 --> 01:38:53,119 In control. 1342 01:38:53,952 --> 01:38:55,663 All right. 1343 01:38:55,747 --> 01:38:57,707 Who's the one you guys are all desperate to talk to? 1344 01:38:57,790 --> 01:38:58,834 Angela. 1345 01:38:59,878 --> 01:39:00,837 Definitely. 1346 01:39:03,131 --> 01:39:05,927 - Angela. - Okay. Here's what you could say. 1347 01:39:08,472 --> 01:39:10,642 Hi, Angela. My name is-- What is it? 1348 01:39:10,725 --> 01:39:12,727 - Darren. - My name is Darren. 1349 01:39:15,314 --> 01:39:18,318 Every time I see you in the hall, I have the urge to talk to you. 1350 01:39:18,985 --> 01:39:21,239 So I try to think of something clever to say... 1351 01:39:21,364 --> 01:39:23,575 but I get so nervous... 1352 01:39:25,494 --> 01:39:27,913 that nothing comes out. 1353 01:39:27,955 --> 01:39:31,168 We don't know each other right now, but I'd like to maybe... 1354 01:39:31,961 --> 01:39:34,923 invite you out for a soda sometime so that we could talk. 1355 01:39:35,005 --> 01:39:36,968 I'd like to see what we have in common. 1356 01:39:37,969 --> 01:39:40,137 But most of all, I'm curious to find out... 1357 01:39:40,221 --> 01:39:42,225 what kind of person you really are... 1358 01:39:42,308 --> 01:39:44,978 because I am tired of looking at you from a dist-- 1359 01:39:45,103 --> 01:39:47,021 And so on and so forth. 1360 01:39:47,105 --> 01:39:49,024 Take that out for a spin. See how it works. 1361 01:39:49,108 --> 01:39:51,611 Yeah. See her turn around and walk back to the jock table. 1362 01:39:51,736 --> 01:39:53,364 - Yeah. - If that happens... 1363 01:39:53,406 --> 01:39:55,408 you go to sleep knowing you gave it your best shot. 1364 01:39:55,449 --> 01:39:57,411 Remember, she has to show you something as well. 1365 01:39:58,495 --> 01:40:00,540 I'd love it if Angela showed me something. 1366 01:40:01,916 --> 01:40:04,461 - Yeah. Two things. - Yeah! 1367 01:40:05,879 --> 01:40:07,340 I'd lick 'em. 1368 01:40:09,384 --> 01:40:12,054 Well, I tried. Hang in there, Nick. 1369 01:40:12,138 --> 01:40:13,472 Wait. You're going? 1370 01:40:13,598 --> 01:40:16,102 Yeah, I gotta get home, look for work. 1371 01:40:16,227 --> 01:40:18,146 As we speak, consumers everywhere need reminding... 1372 01:40:18,229 --> 01:40:20,189 of just how fat and unattractive they are. 1373 01:40:21,900 --> 01:40:23,861 Nice meeting you, men. 1374 01:40:24,612 --> 01:40:26,197 Keep your sense of humor. 1375 01:40:26,907 --> 01:40:30,370 In ten years, you won't even remember what this place looks like. Trust me. 1376 01:40:35,001 --> 01:40:36,961 Dude, your uncle is strange. 1377 01:40:37,755 --> 01:40:39,673 Yeah, I know. I guess he is. 1378 01:40:39,757 --> 01:40:41,635 Yeah, but he's cool. You gonna visit him again? 1379 01:40:44,931 --> 01:40:46,224 I don't know. 1380 01:40:50,312 --> 01:40:51,564 What? 1381 01:40:54,985 --> 01:40:56,153 What? 1382 01:40:58,823 --> 01:41:00,284 Hey, Nick. 1383 01:41:00,451 --> 01:41:02,703 Some guy, I guess he's your uncle... 1384 01:41:02,787 --> 01:41:05,040 he said you had something to tell me. 1385 01:41:07,961 --> 01:41:10,839 He said it would "blow my mind." 1386 01:41:57,233 --> 01:42:00,153 Subtitles En By PiGi 1387 01:42:01,305 --> 01:42:07,510 Craving big poker? Feast your eyes on Venom. $5 million GTD. AmericasCardroom.com