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NEVER LET ME GO
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The breakthrough in medical science came in 1952.
4
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Doctors could now cure the previously incurable.
5
00:01:37,706 --> 00:01:43,509
By 1967, life expectancy passed 100 years.
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My name is Kathy H.
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I'm 28 years old.
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00:02:04,249 --> 00:02:06,667
I've been a carer
for nine years.
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00:02:14,050 --> 00:02:16,009
And I'm good at my job.
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00:02:16,845 --> 00:02:19,638
My patients
always do better
than expected
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00:02:19,722 --> 00:02:21,723
and are hardly
ever classified
as agitated,
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00:02:23,226 --> 00:02:26,019
even if they're
about to make a donation.
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00:02:29,023 --> 00:02:30,983
I'm not trying to boast,
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00:02:31,067 --> 00:02:34,194
but I feel a great sense
of pride in what we do.
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00:02:35,196 --> 00:02:37,906
Carers and donors
have achieved so much.
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00:02:41,286 --> 00:02:43,537
That said,
we aren't machines.
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00:02:47,083 --> 00:02:49,293
In the end,
it wears you down.
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00:02:51,087 --> 00:02:55,549
I suppose that's why
I now spend most of my time
not looking forwards
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00:02:55,633 --> 00:02:57,801
but looking back,
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00:02:57,886 --> 00:03:01,096
to The Cottages and Hailsham,
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00:03:01,848 --> 00:03:03,599
and what happened to us there.
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Me,
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00:03:07,854 --> 00:03:09,771
Tommy,
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00:03:10,440 --> 00:03:12,691
and Ruth.
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00:04:12,752 --> 00:04:14,378
Good morning, students.
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00:04:14,462 --> 00:04:17,339
Good morning,
Miss Emily.
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00:04:18,466 --> 00:04:22,594
It has come to my attention
that three burned cigarettes
were discovered,
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00:04:22,971 --> 00:04:26,056
hidden behind a pot
in the flower garden.
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00:04:28,351 --> 00:04:30,519
I know that on occasion
students have seen
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00:04:30,603 --> 00:04:34,398
some of the caretakers
and deliverymen
smoking cigarettes,
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00:04:34,482 --> 00:04:38,944
but I must emphasize,
once again,
that it is much, much worse
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00:04:39,028 --> 00:04:42,531
for a student of Hailsham
to smoke cigarettes
than anyone else.
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00:04:44,909 --> 00:04:48,286
Students of Hailsham
are special.
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00:04:50,206 --> 00:04:54,376
Keeping yourselves well,
keeping yourselves
healthy inside,
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00:04:54,460 --> 00:04:56,628
is of paramount importance.
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00:04:56,963 --> 00:04:58,922
Have I made myself clear?
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00:04:59,007 --> 00:05:01,133
Yes, Miss Emily.
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00:05:03,928 --> 00:05:07,389
I think, one day,
I'd like five horses.
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00:05:08,433 --> 00:05:13,145
I don't know all their
names, but I know
I'd like five horses.
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00:05:13,271 --> 00:05:14,980
The best
would be Thunder.
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00:05:15,064 --> 00:05:18,233
He'd be dangerous to ride,
so you can't ride him.
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00:05:19,318 --> 00:05:21,403
You can ride
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00:05:22,363 --> 00:05:23,989
Bramble.
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00:05:24,741 --> 00:05:27,826
Just so long as you don't
use your crop on him.
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That's pretty.
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00:05:31,581 --> 00:05:32,998
You have it.
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00:05:35,668 --> 00:05:38,587
Look. Who's that
with Miss Emily?
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00:05:40,089 --> 00:05:42,257
Do you think
it's the new guardian?
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00:05:42,341 --> 00:05:43,508
Miss Lucy.
50
00:05:45,053 --> 00:05:46,970
I think it must be.
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00:05:47,055 --> 00:05:49,681
We haven't had
a new guardian for ages.
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00:06:02,111 --> 00:06:04,780
Arthur! Arthur!
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00:06:08,701 --> 00:06:10,202
Catch it, Tommy.
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00:06:32,934 --> 00:06:35,519
Why didn't Tommy
get the ball?
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00:06:37,271 --> 00:06:38,897
Excuse me, Miss Lucy?
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00:06:39,315 --> 00:06:41,566
Why didn't Tommy
get the ball?
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00:06:42,401 --> 00:06:43,610
When it bounced
over the fence,
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00:06:43,694 --> 00:06:45,070
it couldn't have
been far from him.
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00:06:45,738 --> 00:06:48,115
The fence is the boundary
of the Hailsham grounds.
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00:06:48,241 --> 00:06:50,909
We don't go outside
the boundary, Miss Lucy.
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00:06:51,160 --> 00:06:52,911
It's too dangerous.
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00:06:53,371 --> 00:06:54,830
Dangerous?
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00:06:54,914 --> 00:06:57,541
There was once
a boy who had a big row
with all his friends
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00:06:57,625 --> 00:07:00,001
and then ran off
beyond the boundary.
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They found him,
two days later, in the woods.
Tied to a tree.
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00:07:04,841 --> 00:07:06,424
With his hands
and feet cut off.
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00:07:07,218 --> 00:07:08,468
Dead.
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00:07:09,262 --> 00:07:11,221
And there was the girl
who climbed over the fence,
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00:07:11,305 --> 00:07:12,639
by the front gate.
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00:07:12,723 --> 00:07:15,976
And when she tried
to get back,
she wasn't allowed.
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00:07:16,269 --> 00:07:18,895
And then she starved.
Out there.
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Right by the gates.
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Who told you
these stories?
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00:07:25,820 --> 00:07:27,863
Everybody knows them.
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00:07:28,114 --> 00:07:29,781
And how do you know
they're true?
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00:07:30,116 --> 00:07:31,116
Of course
they're true.
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00:07:31,701 --> 00:07:34,494
Who'd make up stories
as horrible as that?
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00:08:01,230 --> 00:08:04,024
Tommy, what are you doing?
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00:08:04,317 --> 00:08:06,443
What is it, exactly?
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I think it must be a dog.
Is it a dog, Tommy?
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00:08:09,697 --> 00:08:12,240
It can't be a dog.
lts eyes are too small.
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00:08:12,450 --> 00:08:14,826
I think it must be
a kind of rat.
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00:08:14,911 --> 00:08:16,703
Yes, that's it.
Tommy's drawn a rat.
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00:08:16,787 --> 00:08:17,871
It's not finished yet.
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00:08:17,955 --> 00:08:19,956
That's right.
You haven't finished
the whiskers.
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00:08:20,041 --> 00:08:22,000
Do you think Tommy's rat
will be selected
for The Gallery?
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00:08:22,084 --> 00:08:23,627
It's not a rat.
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It's an elephant.
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Children,back to work.
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00:09:00,122 --> 00:09:03,250
He's got his shirt on.
His favorite polo shirt.
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00:09:04,502 --> 00:09:06,878
He really doesn't
suspect a thing.
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00:09:08,881 --> 00:09:11,174
Looks like no one
wants you, Tommy.
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00:09:22,478 --> 00:09:24,312
What's he doing?
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It's his own fault.
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00:09:25,898 --> 00:09:29,359
If he learnt to keep his cool,
they'd leave him alone.
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00:09:29,527 --> 00:09:31,486
I hate you!
I hate you all!
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00:09:31,570 --> 00:09:32,779
Kath... No, don't!
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00:09:43,916 --> 00:09:45,709
You shouldn't have...
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00:10:07,940 --> 00:10:09,774
Kathy H.
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What's this from?
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00:10:25,291 --> 00:10:26,958
I don't remember.
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00:10:27,126 --> 00:10:29,002
Doctor?
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00:10:36,302 --> 00:10:38,470
It's nothing.
Just a bruise.
104
00:10:45,061 --> 00:10:46,770
Hello.
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00:10:47,271 --> 00:10:49,314
Kathy. Kathy H.
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00:10:50,066 --> 00:10:52,484
Of course. Kathy H.
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00:10:53,152 --> 00:10:54,694
Come in.
108
00:11:00,701 --> 00:11:02,243
So what can
I do for you?
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00:11:03,662 --> 00:11:05,121
Well,
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00:11:05,956 --> 00:11:09,000
I was wondering
what you said to Tommy.
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00:11:10,127 --> 00:11:12,128
Out on the
playing fields.
112
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I see. Oh.
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So what did I say?
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I believe I was trying
to calm him down.
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Because he seemed upset.
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He explained
he was often teased
about sport and art,
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so I told him
he shouldn't get upset
about these things.
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The other children
are only teasing him
to get a reaction.
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00:11:37,321 --> 00:11:40,031
And if it happens
that he's not particularly
good at sport or art,
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well, that doesn't matter.
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It's not so important.
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Thank you.
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Kathy.
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00:12:19,238 --> 00:12:20,655
Aren't you sitting
with the girls?
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00:12:20,739 --> 00:12:21,739
Well, I just checked
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00:12:22,199 --> 00:12:24,451
and I'm pretty sure
I'm not sitting
with the girls.
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00:12:24,535 --> 00:12:25,785
I'm sitting with you.
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I wanted to say
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I'm sorry.
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I didn't mean
to hit you.
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I mean, I wouldn't
want to hit any girl.
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But particularly
not you.
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Well, it was
an accident,
that's all.
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Tommy,finish those vegetables.
135
00:13:12,625 --> 00:13:15,043
I'm not gonna get angry
like that anymore.
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00:13:15,127 --> 00:13:18,922
Because of what
Miss Lucy told you,
about being creative?
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00:13:19,006 --> 00:13:20,590
How do you know
about that?
138
00:13:20,674 --> 00:13:21,716
I'm nosey.
139
00:13:25,137 --> 00:13:29,349
She can't actually
mean that being creative
isn't important, can she?
140
00:13:29,517 --> 00:13:31,726
I mean, what about
The Gallery?
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00:13:31,810 --> 00:13:33,811
If being creative
isn't important,
142
00:13:33,896 --> 00:13:35,897
then why have
a gallery at all?
143
00:13:38,692 --> 00:13:40,151
I don't know.
144
00:13:45,157 --> 00:13:48,660
...by arching her back,
or perhaps with the aid
of a pillow,
145
00:13:49,578 --> 00:13:51,579
the woman can
arrange herself...
146
00:14:07,096 --> 00:14:09,764
Smile
147
00:14:23,946 --> 00:14:25,363
Good morning, ma'am.
148
00:14:25,447 --> 00:14:26,614
Good morning.
149
00:14:26,699 --> 00:14:28,199
Can I help you?
150
00:14:28,284 --> 00:14:31,202
I wanted one tea,
with milk
and sugar in it.
151
00:14:31,954 --> 00:14:34,497
One tea. Right.
152
00:14:41,005 --> 00:14:42,547
Tommy.
153
00:14:42,631 --> 00:14:45,216
Oh! One tea with
milk and sugar
in it, please.
154
00:14:45,551 --> 00:14:47,552
No, Tommy.
155
00:14:50,139 --> 00:14:52,348
I want to hear
your own order.
156
00:14:52,433 --> 00:14:54,100
Don't simply repeat
the one you've just heard.
157
00:14:54,893 --> 00:14:57,729
What other drinks
do they serve in cafes?
158
00:14:57,813 --> 00:14:59,147
Water.
159
00:15:02,318 --> 00:15:03,318
Coffee.
160
00:15:03,402 --> 00:15:04,402
Coffee.
161
00:15:06,280 --> 00:15:07,572
So, then.
162
00:15:08,449 --> 00:15:09,741
So, then,
163
00:15:10,909 --> 00:15:13,578
one coffee,
please, with milk
and sugar in it.
164
00:15:19,460 --> 00:15:20,793
Thank you.
165
00:15:29,803 --> 00:15:31,763
I think Laura
likes Arthur.
166
00:15:32,598 --> 00:15:35,224
All the girls like
Arthur, don't they?
167
00:15:36,101 --> 00:15:37,602
Maybe.
168
00:15:39,104 --> 00:15:40,521
I'm not sure you do.
169
00:15:41,899 --> 00:15:44,025
He's not my type.
170
00:15:44,109 --> 00:15:47,362
I think Laura and Arthur
will be the first
in our year to have sex
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00:15:47,446 --> 00:15:50,907
because, if Arthur wants to,
Laura wouldn't stop him.
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00:15:51,617 --> 00:15:53,785
I'm sure you're right.
173
00:15:58,123 --> 00:15:59,582
Tommy's changed.
174
00:16:00,584 --> 00:16:02,001
Changed how?
175
00:16:03,295 --> 00:16:04,796
Just changed.
176
00:16:05,964 --> 00:16:07,340
That's all.
177
00:16:37,746 --> 00:16:40,331
What about this one
by Madeleine Kane?
178
00:16:40,708 --> 00:16:44,001
I think it shows more
than technical ability.
179
00:16:44,169 --> 00:16:46,713
It gives a real insight
into the child.
180
00:16:46,839 --> 00:16:49,882
Which is precisely
what Marie-Claude
wants for The Gallery.
181
00:16:49,967 --> 00:16:51,759
Yes, I agree.
182
00:16:57,141 --> 00:16:59,016
Put these
two together.
183
00:17:00,102 --> 00:17:01,728
Madame is coming.
184
00:17:52,362 --> 00:17:54,071
Good morning, students.
185
00:17:54,198 --> 00:17:57,200
Good morning,
Miss Emily.
186
00:17:58,577 --> 00:18:01,287
There are several
points of order today.
187
00:18:01,371 --> 00:18:05,124
The first is that our good
friend, Madame Marie-Claude,
is visiting us.
188
00:18:05,292 --> 00:18:09,504
She will, as usual,
be carefully inspecting
your artwork and poetry
189
00:18:09,671 --> 00:18:13,633
and selecting
the very best pieces
for inclusion in her Gallery.
190
00:18:14,051 --> 00:18:16,511
We will, of course,
extend to her every courtesy
191
00:18:16,595 --> 00:18:19,263
and make her feel
most welcome.
192
00:18:19,598 --> 00:18:23,184
Second point of order,
a piece of good news
for all students
193
00:18:23,268 --> 00:18:26,145
who have been diligent
in collecting tokens.
194
00:18:26,522 --> 00:18:29,357
After studies tomorrow,
there will be a sale.
195
00:18:30,567 --> 00:18:32,944
The delivery
will arrive in the morning,
196
00:18:33,070 --> 00:18:35,404
and I was assured
by the van driver
197
00:18:35,489 --> 00:18:38,741
that the boxes will
contain a bumper crop.
198
00:19:28,500 --> 00:19:30,626
Is it really
a bumper crop?
199
00:19:32,004 --> 00:19:35,423
I should say so.
Yeah, sweetheart.
It's a bumper crop.
200
00:20:40,238 --> 00:20:41,614
Hey.
201
00:20:42,824 --> 00:20:44,492
Aren't you buying?
202
00:20:44,868 --> 00:20:48,329
If you've already
spent all your tokens,
you can have some of mine.
203
00:20:48,580 --> 00:20:52,166
I have tokens.
I was just gonna wait
till the rush died down.
204
00:20:52,250 --> 00:20:55,002
I'm sure there'll be
something good left.
205
00:20:56,129 --> 00:20:58,089
What's the matter, Kath?
206
00:21:01,927 --> 00:21:03,469
Well, anyway,
it doesn't matter
207
00:21:03,553 --> 00:21:06,097
if you can't find
anything in the sale
208
00:21:06,181 --> 00:21:09,809
because I already
found you something.
209
00:21:12,521 --> 00:21:13,980
A music tape.
210
00:21:14,064 --> 00:21:17,692
I don't know much about it,
if it's much good or anything.
211
00:21:21,905 --> 00:21:23,364
Thank you.
212
00:21:29,121 --> 00:21:31,122
* Darling *
213
00:21:33,959 --> 00:21:44,802
* Hold me *
214
00:21:44,886 --> 00:21:46,470
* And never *
215
00:21:47,514 --> 00:21:51,308
* Never *
216
00:21:51,977 --> 00:21:55,604
* Let me go *
217
00:22:04,948 --> 00:22:07,199
* Darling *
218
00:22:09,327 --> 00:22:20,588
* Kiss me *
219
00:22:20,672 --> 00:22:22,548
* And never *
220
00:22:23,050 --> 00:22:27,178
* Never *
221
00:22:27,637 --> 00:22:32,349
* Let me go *
222
00:23:03,465 --> 00:23:05,299
The problem is
223
00:23:06,426 --> 00:23:09,678
you've been told
and not told.
224
00:23:10,514 --> 00:23:13,015
That's what I've seen
while I've been here.
225
00:23:14,351 --> 00:23:16,268
You've been told
226
00:23:16,561 --> 00:23:19,188
but none of you
really understand.
227
00:23:20,190 --> 00:23:24,318
So I've decided
I'll talk to you in a way
that you will understand.
228
00:23:27,989 --> 00:23:30,282
Do you know
what happens to children
when they grow up?
229
00:23:33,036 --> 00:23:36,747
No, you don't,
because nobody knows.
230
00:23:39,084 --> 00:23:41,627
They might grow up
to become actors,
231
00:23:42,629 --> 00:23:44,588
move to America.
232
00:23:46,341 --> 00:23:48,843
Or they might work
in supermarkets.
233
00:23:49,511 --> 00:23:51,262
Or teach in schools.
234
00:23:52,347 --> 00:23:57,184
They might become
sportsmen or bus conductors
or racing car drivers.
235
00:23:57,435 --> 00:23:59,854
They might do
almost anything.
236
00:24:02,190 --> 00:24:04,150
But with you
we do know.
237
00:24:07,279 --> 00:24:09,572
None of you
will go to America.
238
00:24:11,366 --> 00:24:14,326
None of you will work
in supermarkets.
239
00:24:16,580 --> 00:24:18,873
None of you
will do anything
except live the life
240
00:24:18,957 --> 00:24:21,167
that has already
been set out for you.
241
00:24:23,795 --> 00:24:25,880
You will
become adults,
242
00:24:27,632 --> 00:24:29,300
but only briefly.
243
00:24:32,762 --> 00:24:34,471
Before you are old,
244
00:24:36,057 --> 00:24:38,392
before you are
even middle-aged,
245
00:24:38,810 --> 00:24:42,146
you will start to donate
your vital organs.
246
00:24:44,649 --> 00:24:47,151
That's what you were
created to do.
247
00:24:49,654 --> 00:24:54,158
And sometime
around your third
or fourth donation,
248
00:24:55,243 --> 00:24:57,995
your short life
will be complete.
249
00:24:59,748 --> 00:25:04,084
You have to know
who you are
and what you are.
250
00:25:05,045 --> 00:25:08,214
It's the only way
you'll lead
decent lives.
251
00:25:59,474 --> 00:26:02,643
There will be only one
announcement this morning,
252
00:26:03,895 --> 00:26:05,437
which is that Miss Lucy,
253
00:26:05,522 --> 00:26:07,940
who was guardian
to the fourth-year students,
254
00:26:08,316 --> 00:26:10,693
is no longer
working at Hailsham.
255
00:26:14,614 --> 00:26:17,491
A replacement
will be found for her,
and in the meantime
256
00:26:17,575 --> 00:26:21,578
her classes
will be divided between
Miss Geraldine and myself.
257
00:26:23,707 --> 00:26:26,250
It is hard, is it not,
258
00:26:26,793 --> 00:26:30,796
to continue in the face
of deliberate subversion.
259
00:26:32,590 --> 00:26:36,593
There are those who seek
to thwart us, this is clear.
260
00:26:37,012 --> 00:26:40,681
And we are aware that the tide
is not with forward thinking.
261
00:26:40,765 --> 00:26:42,099
It never is.
262
00:26:43,268 --> 00:26:47,021
No, the tide is with
the entrenched mindset.
263
00:26:47,105 --> 00:26:49,732
With values that
are still unexamined.
264
00:26:52,485 --> 00:26:54,862
But I will not be coerced.
265
00:26:59,784 --> 00:27:01,952
I will not be coerced.
266
00:27:04,914 --> 00:27:07,291
And neither will Hailsham.
267
00:28:11,815 --> 00:28:16,360
I didn't understand why,
after all her teasing,
268
00:28:17,362 --> 00:28:21,573
Ruth would decide
that Tommy was the boy
she liked most of all.
269
00:28:30,458 --> 00:28:33,836
They say girls are always mean
to the boys they like.
270
00:28:37,549 --> 00:28:40,217
So maybe Ruth
had liked him all along.
271
00:28:45,223 --> 00:28:48,100
Maybe I should have
teased him, too.
272
00:29:02,323 --> 00:29:04,741
I kept hoping
they would separate,
273
00:29:04,951 --> 00:29:08,704
like the other childhood
and teenage romances
at the school.
274
00:29:14,669 --> 00:29:16,211
They never did.
275
00:29:50,622 --> 00:29:53,373
We were moved
from Hailsham at 18
276
00:29:53,458 --> 00:29:55,876
and sent to various
accommodations
around the country,
277
00:29:55,960 --> 00:29:59,213
to wait
until we were old enough
to start the donations.
278
00:30:02,050 --> 00:30:03,842
Tommy, Ruth and I
279
00:30:03,927 --> 00:30:07,888
were sent to a collection
of farm buildings
called The Cottages.
280
00:30:13,728 --> 00:30:15,395
During our stay there,
we were told
281
00:30:15,480 --> 00:30:19,107
that some of us
would be permitted
to volunteer as carers.
282
00:30:21,361 --> 00:30:25,489
But, apart from that,
we'd be left largely
to our own devices
283
00:30:25,573 --> 00:30:29,785
and even allowed
to take day trips into
the surrounding countryside.
284
00:30:34,832 --> 00:30:36,750
The Cottages were also
our first contact
285
00:30:36,834 --> 00:30:39,753
with those who had not
grown up at Hailsham.
286
00:30:40,004 --> 00:30:42,005
There were people
from White Mansion,
287
00:30:42,507 --> 00:30:47,052
Oakhill, Morningdale
and other homes
I'd never heard of.
288
00:30:49,973 --> 00:30:53,684
Everyone seemed wiser
and more worldly than us.
289
00:30:56,229 --> 00:30:59,189
None more so than
Rodney and Chrissie.
290
00:30:59,274 --> 00:31:01,984
They'd already been
at The Cottages
for over a year
291
00:31:02,068 --> 00:31:05,279
and would soon be leaving
for the completion centers.
292
00:31:05,363 --> 00:31:08,115
Ricky?
I don't know what
you're talking about.
293
00:31:08,199 --> 00:31:10,075
Oh, I can
help you out there.
294
00:31:10,159 --> 00:31:14,079
He's talking about
blue eyes, blond hair,
cute dimples when he smiles.
295
00:31:14,163 --> 00:31:16,873
And biceps that
could crack walnuts.
296
00:31:19,460 --> 00:31:21,378
Jennifer, get real,
I saw you with him.
297
00:31:21,462 --> 00:31:25,048
Jen and Ricky
sitting in a tree,
K-I-S-S-I-N-G.
298
00:31:25,883 --> 00:31:28,427
That is so not true.
299
00:31:30,722 --> 00:31:32,222
We weren't in a tree.
300
00:31:49,991 --> 00:31:51,408
Hey.
301
00:31:55,455 --> 00:31:57,247
Where you going?
302
00:31:57,915 --> 00:32:00,042
I thought
I'd go for a walk.
303
00:32:00,418 --> 00:32:04,421
Does that mean
you want to be alone?
304
00:32:35,578 --> 00:32:37,579
I'm not even saying
that I'll apply
to be a carer.
305
00:32:37,664 --> 00:32:39,915
Just that several people
have said that
I'd be good at it.
306
00:32:40,249 --> 00:32:42,125
But then Laura went around
telling everyone
307
00:32:42,210 --> 00:32:44,711
that I'd been saying
I was the most likely
to get selected.
308
00:32:44,796 --> 00:32:45,879
That's so not true.
309
00:32:45,963 --> 00:32:47,422
So not true.
310
00:32:47,799 --> 00:32:49,383
Thank you.
311
00:32:52,345 --> 00:32:54,304
I'm getting
more plates.
312
00:32:55,973 --> 00:32:57,808
Is there
anything left for us?
313
00:32:57,934 --> 00:32:59,935
I don't know.
314
00:33:02,313 --> 00:33:03,689
Perhaps not.
315
00:33:05,149 --> 00:33:07,401
Ruth, why do you
do that thing?
316
00:33:08,152 --> 00:33:09,528
Squeezing
Tommy's shoulder.
317
00:33:11,864 --> 00:33:13,490
I'm allowed
to touch Tommy,
aren't I?
318
00:33:13,574 --> 00:33:15,826
It's the way
you're touching him.
319
00:33:15,910 --> 00:33:18,328
You know what I mean.
It's copied from
that television show.
320
00:33:19,497 --> 00:33:20,497
That's so not...
321
00:33:20,581 --> 00:33:23,125
Don't tell me
"that's so not true."
322
00:33:25,128 --> 00:33:28,088
All that behavior,
that's not what people do
out there, in real life,
323
00:33:28,172 --> 00:33:29,423
if that's what
you were thinking.
324
00:33:29,507 --> 00:33:32,592
So what? Look,
it's no big deal.
A lot of us do it.
325
00:33:32,677 --> 00:33:34,761
What you mean is
Chrissie and Rod do it.
326
00:33:35,847 --> 00:33:37,681
Oh, Kathy.
327
00:33:40,435 --> 00:33:42,644
So that's what
this is about.
328
00:33:43,604 --> 00:33:44,688
It must be really
awful for you,
329
00:33:44,772 --> 00:33:46,231
surrounded by
all these couples.
330
00:33:46,816 --> 00:33:50,610
I never said that.
I just think it's daft.
331
00:33:51,320 --> 00:33:53,905
You copy them,
and they copy from
a television show.
332
00:33:53,990 --> 00:33:56,074
I'm right,
aren't I?
333
00:33:57,034 --> 00:34:01,413
You don't like the fact
that Tommy and I are friends
with Chrissie and Rod,
334
00:34:01,497 --> 00:34:03,373
whereas you hardly
speak to anyone.
335
00:34:06,377 --> 00:34:09,379
No. You're not right.
336
00:34:10,590 --> 00:34:12,466
"So" not right?
337
00:34:31,903 --> 00:34:33,737
Thank you, Mr. Keffers.
338
00:35:40,304 --> 00:35:41,805
Hello, Tommy.
339
00:35:42,640 --> 00:35:44,391
Hello, Kath.
340
00:35:47,854 --> 00:35:51,982
Well, don't just
hover in the doorway.
Come in. Join the fun.
341
00:35:53,609 --> 00:35:56,319
Didn't know you liked
that sort of stuff.
342
00:35:57,613 --> 00:35:59,364
You're very welcome to them
after I've finished.
343
00:35:59,824 --> 00:36:01,950
Oh, no,
it's just sex stuff.
344
00:36:02,493 --> 00:36:05,328
I expect I've seen
them all already anyway.
345
00:36:10,334 --> 00:36:11,751
Kathy, what are
you looking for?
346
00:36:12,503 --> 00:36:15,839
What do you mean?
I'm just looking
at dirty pictures.
347
00:36:17,174 --> 00:36:18,258
What, just for kicks?
348
00:36:18,342 --> 00:36:20,802
I suppose you could
say that, yes.
349
00:36:26,684 --> 00:36:30,145
If it's just for kicks,
then you don't do it
like that.
350
00:36:31,355 --> 00:36:33,982
You need to look
at each picture
more carefully.
351
00:36:34,191 --> 00:36:36,526
Nothing really happens
if you go that fast.
352
00:36:36,819 --> 00:36:39,154
How do you know
what works for girls?
353
00:36:41,365 --> 00:36:43,867
Kath, you're not
looking for kicks.
354
00:36:47,830 --> 00:36:51,625
Here, give it to Ruth.
See if it does
anything for her.
355
00:37:06,390 --> 00:37:11,394
Hi.
356
00:37:13,814 --> 00:37:16,191
I suppose you've heard
what Rod and Chrissie
have been saying.
357
00:37:17,234 --> 00:37:18,735
No, I haven't.
358
00:37:23,908 --> 00:37:25,951
Well, you know that
Rod and Chrissie
359
00:37:26,035 --> 00:37:27,494
have been thinking
of applying
to be carers,
360
00:37:27,578 --> 00:37:28,578
so they've been
learning how to drive.
361
00:37:28,663 --> 00:37:29,663
Yeah.
362
00:37:29,747 --> 00:37:34,417
Well, last weekend,
they went up to a town
on the Norfolk coast,
363
00:37:35,211 --> 00:37:37,921
and they think
they saw this person.
364
00:37:38,089 --> 00:37:39,506
What kind of person?
365
00:37:40,675 --> 00:37:42,217
A lady
366
00:37:43,386 --> 00:37:44,844
working in an office.
367
00:37:45,388 --> 00:37:46,554
And...
368
00:37:48,307 --> 00:37:49,933
What is it, Ruth?
369
00:37:51,769 --> 00:37:54,688
But they thought
this person
was a Possible.
370
00:37:57,066 --> 00:37:58,817
For me.
371
00:37:59,527 --> 00:38:00,860
They found
your Original?
372
00:38:00,945 --> 00:38:03,279
They aren't sure,
obviously,
373
00:38:03,364 --> 00:38:06,366
but Rodney
said that the resemblance
was really striking.
374
00:38:06,450 --> 00:38:08,743
Oh, my God. Ruth!
I know.
375
00:38:09,996 --> 00:38:13,665
They want to drive me
back up there so that
I can see for myself.
376
00:38:13,791 --> 00:38:16,042
Tommy will come, but...
377
00:38:16,377 --> 00:38:17,794
Do you want me to come?
378
00:38:21,298 --> 00:38:23,258
Ruth, of course.
379
00:38:33,477 --> 00:38:37,564
So, exactly how much
experience have you guys
had with the outside?
380
00:38:38,441 --> 00:38:39,482
Quite a lot.
381
00:38:39,567 --> 00:38:40,984
No, we haven't.
382
00:38:42,653 --> 00:38:45,739
We did a lot of role-playing
exercises at Hailsham.
383
00:38:45,823 --> 00:38:47,490
They don't count.
384
00:38:47,867 --> 00:38:51,119
Okay. Well,
don't feel scared.
385
00:38:51,245 --> 00:38:54,247
Okay? There's really...
There's nothing to it.
386
00:38:56,042 --> 00:38:57,667
We aren't scared.
387
00:38:58,502 --> 00:38:59,961
Good.
388
00:39:23,152 --> 00:39:24,611
I'll get sausage,
egg and chips.
389
00:39:29,158 --> 00:39:30,283
Sausage,
egg and chips, please.
390
00:39:30,367 --> 00:39:31,451
Yes, sausage,
egg and chips.
391
00:39:31,535 --> 00:39:33,578
Sausage, egg and chips,
me, too, please.
392
00:39:34,747 --> 00:39:37,916
Well, I suppose
I'd better get sausage,
egg and chips, too, then.
393
00:39:38,000 --> 00:39:42,128
Five sausage,
egg and chips. Drinks?
394
00:39:44,882 --> 00:39:46,382
Five Cokes, please.
395
00:40:00,898 --> 00:40:03,191
It was good.
It was really good.
396
00:40:04,735 --> 00:40:05,944
What?
Sorry.
397
00:40:10,699 --> 00:40:15,036
You know, there's something
I've been wanting
to talk to you lot about.
398
00:40:16,372 --> 00:40:18,665
The problem is that
back there at The Cottages
it's impossible.
399
00:40:18,749 --> 00:40:21,084
Someone's always
listening in.
400
00:40:22,419 --> 00:40:23,837
So,
401
00:40:26,549 --> 00:40:28,842
someone was saying
that some Hailsham
students in the past
402
00:40:28,926 --> 00:40:31,594
have managed
to get a deferral.
403
00:40:31,762 --> 00:40:33,263
Apparently those
Hailsham students
404
00:40:33,347 --> 00:40:36,432
could have
their first donation
put back by three
405
00:40:37,143 --> 00:40:39,561
or even four years.
406
00:40:42,940 --> 00:40:44,941
As long as they qualified.
407
00:40:45,860 --> 00:40:48,069
If there was a boy
and a girl,
408
00:40:48,487 --> 00:40:50,488
and they were in love
with each other,
409
00:40:50,573 --> 00:40:54,409
really properly in love,
and they could prove it,
410
00:40:55,077 --> 00:40:57,996
then they would be given
a few years together
411
00:40:58,205 --> 00:41:00,623
before they began
their donations.
412
00:41:03,794 --> 00:41:06,045
Where did you
hear about this?
413
00:41:06,922 --> 00:41:08,298
When we were
at White Mansion.
414
00:41:08,424 --> 00:41:10,592
People there were
always going on about
this Hailsham couple.
415
00:41:11,260 --> 00:41:12,844
When the guy was
only a few weeks
from donation,
416
00:41:12,928 --> 00:41:16,431
he just went to see someone.
He applied,
and everything got sorted out.
417
00:41:17,183 --> 00:41:20,935
I suppose you lot
would know about
that sort of thing.
418
00:41:21,020 --> 00:41:24,814
Being from Hailsham,
you'd know how that
sort of thing works.
419
00:41:25,399 --> 00:41:27,817
Who is it
you go to?
420
00:41:28,819 --> 00:41:32,322
Who would we talk to
if we wanted to apply?
421
00:41:40,748 --> 00:41:42,624
To be honest,
I don't know what
you're talking about.
422
00:41:44,460 --> 00:41:46,169
Come on.
423
00:41:47,838 --> 00:41:49,172
Do you expect us
to believe that?
424
00:41:49,256 --> 00:41:52,091
Everybody knows
Hailsham is special.
425
00:41:52,676 --> 00:41:54,344
So what is it?
426
00:41:55,638 --> 00:41:58,223
Why keep these
things to yourself?
427
00:42:04,688 --> 00:42:07,357
There were lots of
stories at Hailsham.
428
00:42:08,317 --> 00:42:11,819
I don't think many of them
turned out to be true.
429
00:42:38,555 --> 00:42:40,473
It may be
down here.
430
00:42:50,567 --> 00:42:51,943
Yeah.
431
00:42:52,403 --> 00:42:53,736
That's it.
432
00:43:20,180 --> 00:43:21,931
God, it must be her.
433
00:43:22,766 --> 00:43:25,226
Yeah, that's her.
434
00:43:51,587 --> 00:43:53,212
It's not her.
435
00:43:54,840 --> 00:43:56,841
I'm not her.
No, you're not.
436
00:43:57,134 --> 00:43:58,551
It was really
close, though.
437
00:43:58,635 --> 00:44:01,220
Oh, shut up, Tommy!
It wasn't close.
It wasn't close at all.
438
00:44:01,305 --> 00:44:04,640
And I knew
it wasn't gonna be her
before we even got here!
439
00:44:05,142 --> 00:44:06,851
It was never
gonna be her.
440
00:44:06,977 --> 00:44:10,021
They never, ever model us
on people like that woman.
441
00:44:10,105 --> 00:44:11,731
Ruth, don't.
What?
442
00:44:12,358 --> 00:44:14,484
We all know it,
we just never say it.
443
00:44:15,778 --> 00:44:18,071
We are modeled on trash.
444
00:44:18,197 --> 00:44:22,158
Junkies, prostitutes,
winos, tramps.
445
00:44:22,785 --> 00:44:25,870
Convicts, maybe,
as long as they
aren't psychos.
446
00:44:26,997 --> 00:44:31,000
If you want to look
for Possibles, if you
want to do it properly,
447
00:44:33,170 --> 00:44:34,379
look in the gutter.
448
00:44:36,298 --> 00:44:38,299
That's where we came from.
449
00:45:05,869 --> 00:45:10,248
Hey.
450
00:45:41,738 --> 00:45:43,739
We should go back.
451
00:47:06,657 --> 00:47:09,283
Don't tell me
to calm down!
452
00:47:10,244 --> 00:47:12,578
You walked down the pier
and you left me there.
453
00:47:12,663 --> 00:47:14,330
You knew
I was well upset.
454
00:47:27,177 --> 00:47:28,177
Out here.
455
00:47:43,318 --> 00:47:47,780
Chrissie and Rod
are pretty obsessed about
this rumor, aren't they?
456
00:47:47,864 --> 00:47:49,824
About the deferrals?
Mmm.
457
00:47:51,994 --> 00:47:55,037
I was thinking about it
again last night,
458
00:47:55,539 --> 00:47:57,498
and if this
rumor's true
459
00:47:58,709 --> 00:48:00,960
it might explain
a few things.
460
00:48:01,336 --> 00:48:02,795
Such as?
Well,
461
00:48:04,381 --> 00:48:05,798
The Gallery,
for instance.
462
00:48:05,882 --> 00:48:09,594
We never got to
the bottom of it,
what The Gallery was for.
463
00:48:09,970 --> 00:48:12,138
Pictures, poetry
and sculpture.
464
00:48:12,222 --> 00:48:13,764
Say something
about yourself.
465
00:48:13,932 --> 00:48:16,100
That's the whole point
about art, isn't it?
466
00:48:16,184 --> 00:48:19,437
It says what's inside of you.
It reveals your soul.
467
00:48:19,896 --> 00:48:21,480
Yeah. So?
468
00:48:31,325 --> 00:48:35,411
Suppose for a second
that the rumor is true.
469
00:48:35,579 --> 00:48:38,706
That there is
a special arrangement
for Hailsham students,
470
00:48:38,790 --> 00:48:40,333
if they're in love.
471
00:48:41,335 --> 00:48:44,587
Well, there would
have to be
some kind of way
472
00:48:44,921 --> 00:48:48,924
to decide if couples
are telling the truth
473
00:48:49,343 --> 00:48:52,011
and not just lying
to put off their donations.
474
00:49:00,020 --> 00:49:02,521
That's what
The Gallery
could be for.
475
00:49:03,398 --> 00:49:05,775
In The Gallery
they have everything
about us they need to know.
476
00:49:05,859 --> 00:49:08,194
So if we say that
we're in love,
477
00:49:09,988 --> 00:49:12,323
they can look
into our souls
and they can see.
478
00:49:12,407 --> 00:49:15,117
They'll know
if it's real love
or if it's just a lie.
479
00:49:16,286 --> 00:49:18,329
That's a strange idea, Tommy.
480
00:49:19,915 --> 00:49:20,998
What?
481
00:49:23,168 --> 00:49:26,170
No, no. I don't think
that's any stranger
than any other idea.
482
00:49:26,254 --> 00:49:29,674
And didn't Miss Lucy say that
making art for The Gallery
wasn't even important?
483
00:49:29,758 --> 00:49:31,133
Yes.
484
00:49:32,928 --> 00:49:35,137
But look what
happened to her.
485
00:49:45,982 --> 00:49:48,192
Are you thinking
of applying?
486
00:49:48,985 --> 00:49:50,486
With Ruth?
487
00:49:53,865 --> 00:49:54,907
No.
488
00:49:56,201 --> 00:49:57,410
It wouldn't work.
489
00:49:59,329 --> 00:50:00,746
Why?
490
00:50:08,130 --> 00:50:09,672
Because
491
00:50:17,848 --> 00:50:19,348
you forget that
492
00:50:20,517 --> 00:50:23,102
you got lots of stuff
into The Gallery
over the years,
493
00:50:23,186 --> 00:50:26,647
and if I applied
they wouldn't have
anything to go on.
494
00:50:41,079 --> 00:50:43,247
It's all just rumors
and theories.
495
00:50:47,627 --> 00:50:49,086
Yeah, I know.
496
00:50:52,340 --> 00:50:53,841
Tommy.
497
00:51:42,599 --> 00:51:54,151
* Kiss me *
498
00:51:54,236 --> 00:51:56,695
* And never *
499
00:51:56,780 --> 00:52:01,242
* Never *
500
00:52:01,326 --> 00:52:05,120
* Let me go *
501
00:52:13,630 --> 00:52:15,798
* Lock my heart *
502
00:52:18,260 --> 00:52:21,720
* Throw away the key *
503
00:52:22,764 --> 00:52:25,599
* Feel my love *
504
00:52:44,494 --> 00:52:46,996
I know what
you think, Kathy.
505
00:52:50,250 --> 00:52:54,253
I know you think that you
and Tommy would have made
a more natural couple,
506
00:52:55,005 --> 00:52:56,505
and you believe
507
00:52:56,590 --> 00:53:00,050
that there's a chance
that Tommy and I
will split up some day.
508
00:53:01,511 --> 00:53:05,222
And when we do,
perhaps that will be
your chance with Tommy.
509
00:53:06,182 --> 00:53:08,517
Chance to do it
right this time.
510
00:53:15,901 --> 00:53:18,569
But you see,
the thing is, Kathy,
511
00:53:19,112 --> 00:53:22,531
although Tommy
really likes you
as a friend,
512
00:53:23,658 --> 00:53:26,368
he just doesn't
see you that way.
513
00:53:30,540 --> 00:53:33,626
He told me about
the porno magazines.
514
00:53:36,421 --> 00:53:38,672
We had quite
a laugh about it.
515
00:53:41,635 --> 00:53:45,429
He doesn't understand
what you were doing.
516
00:53:47,515 --> 00:53:49,183
But I did.
517
00:53:52,896 --> 00:53:53,896
Oh!
518
00:54:13,750 --> 00:54:16,794
BOY: I said
I'll just be
five minutes.
519
00:54:21,967 --> 00:54:23,759
I want to be
a carer.
520
00:54:25,804 --> 00:54:27,179
It's you who
I apply to, isn't it?
521
00:54:27,263 --> 00:54:28,597
Yeah.
522
00:54:28,723 --> 00:54:30,724
I said that
I'm applying.
523
00:54:33,103 --> 00:54:35,104
I'll bring
the forms tomorrow,
524
00:54:35,188 --> 00:54:37,272
and that'll start
the process.
525
00:54:48,618 --> 00:54:51,787
By the time
Ruth and Tommy
actually did separate,
526
00:54:51,871 --> 00:54:53,998
my carer training
had already begun.
527
00:54:56,209 --> 00:54:58,794
So I was hardly ever
at The Cottages.
528
00:55:24,070 --> 00:55:27,239
It had never occurred to me
that our lives,
529
00:55:27,741 --> 00:55:30,159
which had been
so closely interwoven,
530
00:55:33,079 --> 00:55:35,664
could unravel
with such speed.
531
00:55:50,430 --> 00:55:51,889
If I'd known,
532
00:55:52,849 --> 00:55:55,184
maybe I'd have kept
tighter hold of them
533
00:55:57,645 --> 00:56:00,856
and not let unseen tides
pull us apart.
534
00:56:46,319 --> 00:56:47,986
Once I began working
with my donors,
535
00:56:48,071 --> 00:56:51,240
I didn't have much time
to dwell on Tommy or Ruth.
536
00:56:52,242 --> 00:56:53,951
Eventually,
so many years had passed
537
00:56:54,035 --> 00:56:56,787
I came to think
I would never
see them again.
538
00:57:04,087 --> 00:57:07,631
Many carers find
themselves just going
through the motions,
539
00:57:07,757 --> 00:57:11,927
waiting for the day
that they can stop
and become donors.
540
00:57:16,307 --> 00:57:19,852
But for the most part,
being a carer
has suited me fine.
541
00:57:21,938 --> 00:57:25,190
I quite enjoy
traveling across
the country,
542
00:57:25,275 --> 00:57:28,902
shuttling from
center to center,
hospital to hospital.
543
00:57:42,542 --> 00:57:44,001
Here you are.
544
00:57:45,962 --> 00:57:47,462
Dark chocolate.
545
00:57:48,298 --> 00:57:51,633
If you knew how many
shops I had to go to
before I found those.
546
00:57:51,885 --> 00:57:55,262
I thought I wasn't
allowed to eat so soon
before the operation.
547
00:57:55,346 --> 00:57:58,515
Oh, you're not.
But I am.
548
00:57:58,600 --> 00:57:59,725
And after the operation,
549
00:57:59,809 --> 00:58:02,769
you can wolf down
the whole packet in one go.
550
00:58:17,327 --> 00:58:20,412
For me,
the real test
of being a carer
551
00:58:20,496 --> 00:58:23,624
is when a donor completes
earlier than expected.
552
00:58:24,334 --> 00:58:27,669
On the second
or even first donation.
553
00:58:28,087 --> 00:58:29,463
Can I just have
a quick word?
554
00:58:29,547 --> 00:58:30,631
Okay.
555
00:58:31,883 --> 00:58:34,259
I was wondering who'd be
working on Hannah today.
556
00:58:34,344 --> 00:58:37,679
I'd never say
I've become immune
to the completions.
557
00:58:38,640 --> 00:58:41,642
But they are something
I am able to live with.
558
00:58:46,022 --> 00:58:48,482
You're Hannah's carer,
aren't you?
559
00:58:49,400 --> 00:58:51,151
Hannah's carer?
Yes.
560
00:58:52,445 --> 00:58:56,073
I'm sorry, it's always hard,
but there were complications.
561
00:59:00,203 --> 00:59:01,662
You need me
to sign the release?
562
00:59:01,746 --> 00:59:02,955
Please.
563
00:59:05,166 --> 00:59:07,251
Are you going
to leave now?
564
00:59:07,335 --> 00:59:09,461
We can quite easily
provide you
with a bed tonight
565
00:59:09,545 --> 00:59:11,046
if you've got
a long drive.
566
00:59:11,172 --> 00:59:13,548
I can be back home
in under two hours.
567
00:59:13,633 --> 00:59:15,259
It's always better
to wake at home,
isn't it?
568
00:59:24,811 --> 00:59:26,478
Is that someone
you know?
569
00:59:26,604 --> 00:59:28,063
Yeah.
570
00:59:30,441 --> 00:59:32,359
Actually,
we grew up together.
571
00:59:32,735 --> 00:59:34,528
How is she?
572
00:59:34,821 --> 00:59:36,697
Were you close?
573
00:59:36,823 --> 00:59:39,408
We haven't seen each other
now for almost 10 years.
574
00:59:39,492 --> 00:59:43,870
Well, Ruth isn't
as strong as we would
hope, at this stage.
575
00:59:46,082 --> 00:59:48,041
She's done
two donations.
576
00:59:48,584 --> 00:59:49,918
She has.
577
00:59:50,920 --> 00:59:52,421
You think
she'll complete
on the third?
578
00:59:53,298 --> 00:59:55,507
I think she wants
to complete.
579
00:59:56,426 --> 01:00:00,762
And, as you know,
when they want to complete,
they usually do.
580
01:01:19,967 --> 01:01:21,635
Kathy.
581
01:01:32,063 --> 01:01:35,023
I've been
keeping tabs on you
over the years.
582
01:01:35,274 --> 01:01:36,817
And Tommy, too.
583
01:01:37,151 --> 01:01:39,111
What do you
hear about Tommy?
584
01:01:39,195 --> 01:01:42,447
That he's done
his second donation, too,
585
01:01:42,532 --> 01:01:45,367
and apparently
he's doing
very well on it.
586
01:01:46,035 --> 01:01:47,202
Apparently
he's in better shape
587
01:01:47,286 --> 01:01:49,746
than some after
their first donation.
588
01:01:49,956 --> 01:01:52,707
Good old Tommy.
I'm not surprised.
589
01:01:54,836 --> 01:01:56,795
Are you surprised at me?
590
01:01:58,798 --> 01:02:01,633
I expect I look
a bit broken, Kath.
591
01:02:03,886 --> 01:02:05,554
It's okay.
592
01:02:05,847 --> 01:02:08,890
I don't think
I'd want to survive
my third donation, anyway.
593
01:02:09,559 --> 01:02:11,685
You hear things,
don't you?
594
01:02:11,894 --> 01:02:13,854
What kind of things?
595
01:02:14,397 --> 01:02:16,189
Oh, you know.
596
01:02:19,402 --> 01:02:21,570
How, maybe,
after the fourth donation,
597
01:02:21,654 --> 01:02:24,448
even if you've
technically completed,
598
01:02:24,574 --> 01:02:27,742
you're still conscious
in some sort of way.
599
01:02:28,661 --> 01:02:32,831
And then you find out
that there are more
donations, plenty of them.
600
01:02:32,915 --> 01:02:37,127
No more recovery centers.
No more carers.
601
01:02:38,880 --> 01:02:40,922
Just watching
and waiting.
602
01:02:42,675 --> 01:02:45,010
Till they switch you off.
603
01:02:50,850 --> 01:02:53,268
I don't think
I fancy that.
604
01:02:57,273 --> 01:02:59,691
Is it the end
of the day already?
605
01:03:01,068 --> 01:03:02,819
Do you know,
it's funny,
606
01:03:02,904 --> 01:03:07,199
I think I've thought
about you every day
for the last few months.
607
01:03:07,283 --> 01:03:09,284
Hoping I'd see you again.
608
01:03:10,953 --> 01:03:13,788
Do you know,
I felt sure
that I would.
609
01:03:15,291 --> 01:03:20,378
Seemed impossible
that I'd complete without
seeing you one last time.
610
01:03:22,798 --> 01:03:25,300
It's not
the last time, Ruth.
611
01:03:26,302 --> 01:03:28,178
They offered me a bed.
612
01:03:28,262 --> 01:03:30,639
I was planning on
staying the night anyway.
613
01:03:30,848 --> 01:03:32,474
Well.
614
01:03:57,416 --> 01:03:59,918
I always knew
you'd be a good carer.
615
01:04:00,378 --> 01:04:02,504
Your donors
are very lucky.
616
01:04:07,885 --> 01:04:10,971
Look, I was lying
awake last night
617
01:04:11,055 --> 01:04:14,015
and I suddenly had
an idea that we'd take
a trip together.
618
01:04:14,225 --> 01:04:16,017
Where to?
619
01:04:16,519 --> 01:04:19,396
I hadn't much thought
of where, just a trip.
620
01:04:23,776 --> 01:04:25,360
Although
621
01:04:26,946 --> 01:04:28,697
a place
did spring to mind.
622
01:04:28,781 --> 01:04:31,283
One of the boys
on the other floor
was talking about it.
623
01:04:31,367 --> 01:04:33,201
It's near the
Kingsfield Recovery Center.
624
01:04:33,703 --> 01:04:37,205
Is it the boat?
The one left
on the beach?
625
01:04:37,331 --> 01:04:38,915
You've heard
about it, too?
626
01:04:39,000 --> 01:04:41,543
I heard.
One of the carers
who worked there.
627
01:04:44,755 --> 01:04:46,506
And do you suppose,
628
01:04:47,550 --> 01:04:50,760
if we're driving
all that way,
629
01:04:51,512 --> 01:04:53,805
that we could
call in on Tommy?
630
01:04:58,019 --> 01:05:00,979
Told you I'd been
keeping tabs on you.
631
01:05:02,690 --> 01:05:04,107
Have you seen him?
632
01:05:05,359 --> 01:05:06,693
No, not since
The Cottages.
633
01:05:07,737 --> 01:05:09,362
No, neither have I.
634
01:05:15,494 --> 01:05:16,995
How will
we find him?
635
01:05:17,079 --> 01:05:19,748
His carer said
he'd be waiting outside.
636
01:05:36,599 --> 01:05:38,099
Look, there he is.
637
01:05:44,982 --> 01:05:48,193
Do you think
he's recognized us
through the glass?
638
01:05:50,446 --> 01:05:52,280
No, no, no.
639
01:05:52,365 --> 01:05:54,366
Let's not get out.
640
01:06:11,050 --> 01:06:12,217
Ruth's in the car.
641
01:06:12,301 --> 01:06:13,468
Oh, right.
642
01:06:13,594 --> 01:06:14,969
Hey!
643
01:06:15,429 --> 01:06:16,805
Hi!
644
01:06:18,307 --> 01:06:19,641
Hi.
Hi.
645
01:06:21,102 --> 01:06:22,143
How are you?
646
01:06:22,228 --> 01:06:23,311
I'm good.
647
01:06:23,646 --> 01:06:24,854
Look at your hair.
648
01:06:24,939 --> 01:06:26,648
Oh, yeah.
My hair.
649
01:06:35,074 --> 01:06:37,409
I can't quite believe
that I have you both here.
650
01:06:40,454 --> 01:06:42,038
Does it feel to you
that we're back
at Hailsham again?
651
01:06:42,123 --> 01:06:44,416
Like no time
has passed?
652
01:06:45,042 --> 01:06:46,126
No, it doesn't.
653
01:06:46,210 --> 01:06:47,502
No, it doesn't
at all, does it?
654
01:06:47,920 --> 01:06:50,672
It really doesn't at all.
It's really weird.
655
01:06:50,798 --> 01:06:52,424
But a good weird, I think.
656
01:06:57,304 --> 01:07:00,849
I don't suppose you both heard
that Hailsham was closed?
657
01:07:03,436 --> 01:07:06,688
The only schools left now,
you hear
they're like battery farms.
658
01:07:07,732 --> 01:07:09,357
Like Morningdale.
659
01:07:09,817 --> 01:07:12,861
I'm sure that's
an exaggeration, though.
660
01:07:14,989 --> 01:07:17,198
Are you sure
we're going
the right way?
661
01:07:33,382 --> 01:07:34,883
It's locked,
it looks like.
662
01:07:35,801 --> 01:07:37,302
No one said
anything about this.
663
01:07:37,386 --> 01:07:39,137
No one said anything
about a locked gate.
664
01:07:39,221 --> 01:07:42,056
Ruth, just relax.
It's okay.
665
01:07:50,733 --> 01:07:52,567
Can walk through here.
666
01:08:20,596 --> 01:08:21,638
Wow.
667
01:08:35,110 --> 01:08:37,237
Hey, come on.
668
01:09:24,869 --> 01:09:27,996
I wonder if that's what
Hailsham looks like now.
669
01:09:30,624 --> 01:09:33,585
Do you ever hear, Kath,
about any of the students
from Hailsham?
670
01:09:33,669 --> 01:09:35,587
Sometimes, yeah.
671
01:09:37,089 --> 01:09:42,051
I heard that
Amanda completed
on her first donation.
672
01:09:42,678 --> 01:09:45,763
I think that happens
more than they ever tell us.
673
01:09:46,932 --> 01:09:50,727
Yeah, there was this
guy at my care center
674
01:09:50,853 --> 01:09:55,857
who was always really
scared of completing
on his first donation.
675
01:09:57,067 --> 01:09:58,860
But it was all fine.
676
01:09:58,944 --> 01:10:01,863
And he's just
come through
his third one now,
677
01:10:02,489 --> 01:10:05,366
and he's completely
all right.
678
01:10:10,497 --> 01:10:12,624
It's funny,
I don't think...
679
01:10:13,709 --> 01:10:15,793
Well, I know
I wouldn't have been
a very good carer,
680
01:10:15,878 --> 01:10:17,921
but in a way
I actually think
I'm quite a good donor.
681
01:10:18,005 --> 01:10:20,715
That's what
we're supposed to be,
isn't it?
682
01:10:33,270 --> 01:10:34,896
I'd like you
to forgive me.
683
01:10:37,524 --> 01:10:39,317
I don't expect
you to.
684
01:10:39,902 --> 01:10:41,027
Forgive you
for what?
685
01:10:48,327 --> 01:10:50,662
For keeping you
and Tommy apart.
686
01:10:54,541 --> 01:10:57,835
Should have been
you two together,
I always knew it.
687
01:10:57,920 --> 01:11:00,171
As far back
as I can remember.
688
01:11:02,174 --> 01:11:05,593
It wasn't just
because of the rumors
about deferrals.
689
01:11:10,057 --> 01:11:12,266
It was because
I was jealous.
690
01:11:14,853 --> 01:11:18,982
You had real love
and I didn't,
691
01:11:22,778 --> 01:11:26,114
and I didn't want to be
the one that was left alone.
692
01:11:37,251 --> 01:11:38,918
It's the worst thing
I ever did.
693
01:11:43,465 --> 01:11:45,800
And now I want
to put it right.
694
01:11:46,176 --> 01:11:47,885
I don't know
how you can
do that, Ruth.
695
01:11:48,387 --> 01:11:49,804
I can
696
01:11:51,306 --> 01:11:52,974
if you two
get a deferral.
697
01:11:53,976 --> 01:11:56,144
It's too late
for that, Ruth.
698
01:11:56,645 --> 01:11:59,480
Way too late.
It's stupid to even
think about it.
699
01:11:59,690 --> 01:12:03,860
It isn't too late.
Look, you'll see,
both of you.
700
01:12:04,611 --> 01:12:09,157
I wanted to do this trip
because I had something
that I wanted to give you.
701
01:12:10,617 --> 01:12:12,493
It's Madame's address.
702
01:12:15,414 --> 01:12:19,125
That's who you apply to.
That's who you have to
go and see.
703
01:12:21,920 --> 01:12:23,713
How did you
get this?
704
01:12:25,424 --> 01:12:29,218
It wasn't easy,
but I've had years
to think about what I did.
705
01:12:29,470 --> 01:12:33,848
And years to try and work out
a way to make it right.
706
01:13:18,894 --> 01:13:22,105
I started doing
them when we were
at The Cottages.
707
01:13:22,272 --> 01:13:24,774
The day after
we went to find
Ruth's Possible.
708
01:13:24,900 --> 01:13:27,819
I realized that
if I was ever going to
apply for a deferral,
709
01:13:27,903 --> 01:13:30,154
then I'd have to
show them something.
710
01:13:31,573 --> 01:13:34,575
And I've done
hundreds of them
over the years.
711
01:13:36,120 --> 01:13:37,787
They're wonderful.
712
01:13:38,580 --> 01:13:40,081
What? Really?
713
01:13:40,332 --> 01:13:41,749
Yeah.
714
01:13:43,335 --> 01:13:45,002
Well, thank you.
715
01:13:57,141 --> 01:14:00,268
I have never
showed anyone
them until now.
716
01:14:02,729 --> 01:14:04,814
They were my secret.
717
01:14:06,525 --> 01:14:09,277
Just like you
and those
porno magazines.
718
01:14:10,028 --> 01:14:11,696
You remember that?
719
01:14:12,114 --> 01:14:13,197
Yeah.
720
01:14:15,701 --> 01:14:17,618
Ruth said
you didn't understand
what I was doing.
721
01:14:17,703 --> 01:14:19,829
No, I don't think
she understood
what you were doing.
722
01:14:19,997 --> 01:14:21,998
She thought
you were looking
at the dirty pictures
723
01:14:22,082 --> 01:14:24,625
in order
to find out about sex
724
01:14:26,712 --> 01:14:30,339
and to find out what
you were missing out
on or something.
725
01:14:33,844 --> 01:14:35,386
I knew.
726
01:14:37,055 --> 01:14:40,183
I knew you were looking
for your Original.
727
01:14:42,853 --> 01:14:46,647
I used to have
these huge urges
to have sex sometimes.
728
01:14:47,649 --> 01:14:50,193
And sometimes
they'd be so powerful,
729
01:14:50,736 --> 01:14:52,653
I just thought
I'd do it with anyone.
730
01:14:55,157 --> 01:14:57,992
So I thought that
had to tell me something.
731
01:14:58,118 --> 01:15:00,912
Something about
the kind of person
I was modeled on.
732
01:15:03,332 --> 01:15:04,999
It's stupid,
733
01:15:06,585 --> 01:15:09,670
but I guessed the magazines
would be the most likely
place I'd find her.
734
01:15:11,840 --> 01:15:13,591
You know those urges
are natural, don't you?
735
01:15:13,675 --> 01:15:17,220
You know all of us had them.
You know that now, right?
736
01:15:30,943 --> 01:15:32,693
"From Basrah we sailed,
737
01:15:34,112 --> 01:15:37,865
"day after day,
night after night,
over the sea,
738
01:15:38,992 --> 01:15:42,870
"visiting island after island
and land after land,
739
01:15:44,206 --> 01:15:47,250
"selling or bartering
our goods at each.
740
01:15:50,837 --> 01:15:55,299
"One day,
after some weeks of sailing
out of sight of land,
741
01:15:55,384 --> 01:15:58,094
"we saw an island in the sea
with such fair greenery
742
01:15:58,178 --> 01:16:01,389
"that it appeared
like one of the
gardens of Eden.
743
01:16:01,974 --> 01:16:05,393
"At once
the captain made towards
this delectable land
744
01:16:05,477 --> 01:16:09,480
"and, when the anchor
had been cast
and the ladder lowered,
745
01:16:09,564 --> 01:16:12,400
"allowed his passengers
to disembark."
746
01:16:19,032 --> 01:16:20,741
Don't stop.
747
01:18:46,596 --> 01:18:51,475
Ruth got it right.
Right street,
right door, everything.
748
01:18:55,981 --> 01:18:59,525
We have to decide
which of my drawings
we're gonna take.
749
01:19:02,946 --> 01:19:05,573
Just take the best ones.
Maybe six or seven of them.
750
01:19:05,657 --> 01:19:07,658
You have to help me.
Yeah, I know.
751
01:19:13,999 --> 01:19:16,834
So, we'll just go there.
752
01:19:18,044 --> 01:19:19,712
Next week.
753
01:19:19,796 --> 01:19:22,339
I'll take you out
for lab tests, I'll sign
you out for the whole day
754
01:19:22,424 --> 01:19:24,133
and we'll visit Madame
on the way back.
755
01:19:40,817 --> 01:19:42,943
We're going to do it.
756
01:19:45,238 --> 01:19:47,281
I thought you should know.
757
01:19:50,285 --> 01:19:52,161
You're going to apply?
758
01:19:54,915 --> 01:19:56,290
Yes.
759
01:20:02,047 --> 01:20:03,464
Good.
760
01:22:06,588 --> 01:22:08,464
Madame?
761
01:22:13,762 --> 01:22:15,179
Sorry.
762
01:22:16,056 --> 01:22:18,265
We didn't mean
to startle you.
763
01:22:18,933 --> 01:22:20,684
We were at Hailsham.
764
01:22:25,440 --> 01:22:27,775
I'm Kathy.
This is Tommy.
765
01:22:30,278 --> 01:22:32,613
We're not here to
give you any trouble.
766
01:22:36,076 --> 01:22:37,534
From Hailsham?
767
01:22:37,619 --> 01:22:39,161
We just came
to talk to you.
768
01:22:41,039 --> 01:22:43,290
And I brought you
some things.
769
01:22:44,292 --> 01:22:47,169
Some things
you might like
for your Gallery.
770
01:22:49,339 --> 01:22:50,923
Come inside.
771
01:23:26,418 --> 01:23:28,419
Please, wait here.
772
01:23:46,521 --> 01:23:48,313
Look, it's Hailsham.
773
01:23:50,024 --> 01:23:52,192
Kathy, it's Hailsham.
774
01:23:54,154 --> 01:23:56,864
That's exactly
how I remember it.
775
01:24:03,955 --> 01:24:05,581
Please, sit down.
776
01:24:20,889 --> 01:24:22,264
So...
777
01:24:25,477 --> 01:24:26,977
We're in love.
778
01:24:27,771 --> 01:24:30,314
And it's true love.
It's verifiable.
779
01:24:31,399 --> 01:24:33,400
Verifiable. I see.
780
01:24:39,449 --> 01:24:40,949
Go on.
781
01:24:41,201 --> 01:24:42,618
Well,
782
01:24:44,287 --> 01:24:46,914
we'd heard about
the deferrals.
783
01:24:49,125 --> 01:24:51,877
And we'd worked out
the purpose
of The Gallery.
784
01:24:53,254 --> 01:24:55,005
Tell me the purpose.
785
01:24:56,800 --> 01:24:59,885
To use our art
from Hailsham
786
01:25:00,094 --> 01:25:02,429
to look into
our souls,
787
01:25:03,473 --> 01:25:06,892
which would verify
that we deserved
a deferral.
788
01:25:07,602 --> 01:25:10,979
But the problem is
789
01:25:11,064 --> 01:25:13,941
I was a little bit
mixed up back then
790
01:25:14,025 --> 01:25:18,237
and I didn't
really do any art,
791
01:25:19,906 --> 01:25:22,241
so you never took
anything of mine.
792
01:25:22,325 --> 01:25:25,786
I know, I know that
that is my fault
793
01:25:25,870 --> 01:25:29,081
and it is probably
much too late,
794
01:25:29,165 --> 01:25:31,166
but I brought
some stuff
with me today.
795
01:25:37,131 --> 01:25:40,217
This is a book
of stuff and...
796
01:25:52,313 --> 01:25:54,356
Other stuff here.
797
01:25:59,153 --> 01:26:02,281
Some of them I've done
quite recently,
798
01:26:03,324 --> 01:26:04,658
and others
799
01:26:06,619 --> 01:26:09,496
were done
several years ago,
so there's a real spread.
800
01:26:10,790 --> 01:26:14,084
You already have
a load of stuff
from Kath already.
801
01:26:14,168 --> 01:26:17,212
She got loads of stuff
into The Gallery over
the years, didn't...
802
01:26:17,338 --> 01:26:19,006
I'm sorry.
803
01:26:22,343 --> 01:26:24,303
I never know
what to do.
804
01:26:31,144 --> 01:26:33,020
I'll take it
from here.
805
01:26:38,902 --> 01:26:40,569
Thank you, George.
806
01:26:45,033 --> 01:26:47,451
Kathy H and Tommy D.
807
01:26:49,203 --> 01:26:51,163
I remember you both.
808
01:26:51,706 --> 01:26:54,833
Kathy, a bright girl,
and so creative.
809
01:26:55,126 --> 01:26:58,420
And Tommy, a big heart
and terrible rages.
810
01:27:02,675 --> 01:27:04,384
You have to understand,
811
01:27:05,386 --> 01:27:09,973
Hailsham was
the last place to consider
the ethics of donation.
812
01:27:10,391 --> 01:27:13,769
We used your art to show
what you were capable of.
813
01:27:14,437 --> 01:27:17,105
To show that donor children
are all but human.
814
01:27:18,942 --> 01:27:22,903
But we were providing
an answer to a question
no one was asking.
815
01:27:24,489 --> 01:27:26,698
If you ask people
to return to darkness,
816
01:27:26,783 --> 01:27:31,286
the days of lung cancer,
breast cancer,
motor neurone disease,
817
01:27:32,246 --> 01:27:34,122
they'll simply say no.
818
01:27:37,502 --> 01:27:40,796
We used to get
two or three couples
like you a year.
819
01:27:42,423 --> 01:27:44,341
Not so much these days.
820
01:27:45,843 --> 01:27:48,345
You're the first
for quite a while.
821
01:27:52,475 --> 01:27:54,768
To apply
for a deferral?
822
01:28:03,194 --> 01:28:05,612
There are
no deferrals, Tommy.
823
01:28:10,618 --> 01:28:14,830
There are no deferrals.
And there never have been.
824
01:28:25,299 --> 01:28:29,052
We didn't have
The Gallery in order
to look into your souls.
825
01:28:29,470 --> 01:28:32,681
We had The Gallery
to see if you had
souls at all.
826
01:28:45,737 --> 01:28:47,404
Do you understand?
827
01:28:58,291 --> 01:28:59,666
Yes.
828
01:29:06,507 --> 01:29:09,342
Your drawings
are very good.
829
01:29:10,678 --> 01:29:13,180
If you want,
I'll keep them.
830
01:30:15,618 --> 01:30:17,744
Thank you
for talking to us.
831
01:30:21,582 --> 01:30:23,333
You poor creatures.
832
01:30:25,128 --> 01:30:27,087
I wish I could help you.
833
01:31:27,023 --> 01:31:29,649
Sorry, can we stop
for a second?
I need to get out.
834
01:34:37,463 --> 01:34:40,048
It's been two weeks
since I lost him.
835
01:35:10,663 --> 01:35:12,872
I've been given my notice now.
836
01:35:16,710 --> 01:35:19,379
My first donation
is in a month's time.
837
01:35:28,055 --> 01:35:31,307
I come here and imagine
that this is the spot
838
01:35:31,392 --> 01:35:35,311
where
everything I've lost since
my childhood has washed up.
839
01:35:39,275 --> 01:35:42,610
I tell myself
if that were true,
840
01:35:43,446 --> 01:35:45,780
and I waited long enough,
841
01:35:46,866 --> 01:35:50,743
then a tiny figure
would appear on the horizon
across the field
842
01:35:50,911 --> 01:35:54,873
and gradually get larger
until I'd see it was Tommy.
843
01:35:57,918 --> 01:35:59,502
He'd wave
844
01:35:59,962 --> 01:36:01,838
and maybe call.
845
01:36:04,175 --> 01:36:07,218
I don't let the fantasy
go beyond that.
846
01:36:07,428 --> 01:36:08,761
I can't let it.
847
01:36:10,890 --> 01:36:14,893
I remind myself
I was lucky to have had
any time with him at all.
848
01:36:19,440 --> 01:36:21,691
What I'm not sure about
849
01:36:22,193 --> 01:36:26,779
is if our lives have been
so different from the lives
of the people we save.
850
01:36:29,742 --> 01:36:31,659
We all complete.
851
01:36:34,121 --> 01:36:37,832
Maybe none of us
really understand
what we've lived through
852
01:36:39,793 --> 01:36:42,337
or feel we've had
enough time.
853
01:43:05,387 --> 01:43:10,808
When we are scattered
afar and asunder
854
01:43:11,143 --> 01:43:16,355
Parted are those
who are singing today
855
01:43:16,940 --> 01:43:22,570
When we look back
and forgetfully wonder
856
01:43:23,071 --> 01:43:28,534
What we were like
in our learning and play
857
01:43:28,952 --> 01:43:34,457
Oh, the great days
will bring distance enchanted
858
01:43:34,708 --> 01:43:39,795
Days of fresh air
in the rain and the sun
859
01:43:40,339 --> 01:43:45,676
How we rejoiced
as we struggled and panted
860
01:43:46,136 --> 01:43:53,100
Echoes of dreamland,
Hailsham lives on.
861
01:43:54,305 --> 01:44:54,755
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