1
00:00:48,313 --> 00:00:50,213
<i>Careful, Tucker.</i>

2
00:00:50,315 --> 00:00:54,945
<i>The floor is hot lava. You can't touch
the ground, or you'll burn up.</i>

3
00:00:55,054 --> 00:00:57,818
<i>We gotta get to Craig's room
to get the treasure before we burn up.</i>

4
00:00:57,923 --> 00:01:01,051
- What's the treasure?
- Craig just got a MichaelJordan rookie card.

5
00:01:01,160 --> 00:01:03,958
It cost him, like, a hundred bucks.

6
00:01:04,063 --> 00:01:06,293
<i>Whoa.</i>

7
00:01:06,398 --> 00:01:09,890
Did you know that in
MichaelJordan's first year with the Bulls...

8
00:01:10,002 --> 00:01:12,903
MichaelJordan had 138 rebounds?

9
00:01:13,005 --> 00:01:15,974
Yeah. But you know who
the Bulls rebound leader is, though?

10
00:01:16,075 --> 00:01:18,305
- Yeah. Scottie Pippen.
- Yeah.

11
00:01:18,410 --> 00:01:21,675
- Where's the card?
- It's in the closet in a shoe box.

12
00:01:24,383 --> 00:01:28,080
He's got the MichaelJordan rookie card
and a Hank Aaron card.

13
00:01:28,187 --> 00:01:31,088
It's not in mint condition,
but it's a good card.

14
00:01:33,125 --> 00:01:35,093
- Oh, my God.
- What?

15
00:01:35,194 --> 00:01:38,163
<i>- Your brother's got a playboy.
- No, he doesn't.</i>

16
00:01:38,263 --> 00:01:41,699
<i>- What's a playboy?
- A magazine with naked ladies.</i>

17
00:01:41,800 --> 00:01:43,961
What? He doesn't have that.

18
00:01:44,069 --> 00:01:47,368
Look. Dude, I think your brother
can go to jail for this.

19
00:01:47,473 --> 00:01:50,601
Shut up. Don't open it.

20
00:01:54,546 --> 00:01:56,446
Is that what girls look like?

21
00:01:56,548 --> 00:01:58,448
They look so weird.

22
00:01:58,550 --> 00:02:00,450
How do they pee?

23
00:02:00,552 --> 00:02:02,520
It must come out of those.

24
00:02:02,621 --> 00:02:04,384
Gross.

25
00:02:04,490 --> 00:02:06,390
Oh, my God.

26
00:02:06,492 --> 00:02:08,392
Look at that one.

27
00:02:08,494 --> 00:02:11,986
- Tucker, you just stepped on hot lava. You're on fire.
- Whatever.

28
00:02:20,939 --> 00:02:23,635
Oh, my God.

29
00:02:23,742 --> 00:02:26,233
Look at the ass on that thing.

30
00:02:26,345 --> 00:02:29,542
- Hello.
- What?

31
00:02:29,648 --> 00:02:33,015
You could bounce a quarter off
that sweet turd-cutter.

32
00:02:33,118 --> 00:02:36,554
Tucker, stop it.
That's Eleanore, our friend.

33
00:02:36,655 --> 00:02:38,555
Her mom's my piano teacher.

34
00:02:38,657 --> 00:02:43,094
Oh, man. I want her to
French-kiss my dick so bad.

35
00:02:43,195 --> 00:02:46,221
Oh, my God.

36
00:02:48,367 --> 00:02:50,426
Look at this.

37
00:02:50,536 --> 00:02:53,937
Jenny's tits are the exact
same size as Miss November's.

38
00:02:54,039 --> 00:02:57,941
- I don't care.
- This means that this is whatJenny looks like naked.

39
00:02:58,043 --> 00:03:00,603
<i>- That's amazing.
- That is amazing.</i>

40
00:03:00,712 --> 00:03:02,543
- Hi, Stacy.
- Drop dead.

41
00:03:02,648 --> 00:03:04,843
- Hi, Sheila.
- Eat me, Tucker.

42
00:03:04,950 --> 00:03:07,919
<i>- Set the time and place.
- The two of you can eat shit and die.</i>

43
00:03:08,020 --> 00:03:10,079
Sheila!

44
00:03:10,189 --> 00:03:12,089
Thank you. You know
she's friends with Cindi.

45
00:03:12,191 --> 00:03:14,887
Now she's gonna tell her,
I'm gonna hear all about this. Good job.

46
00:03:14,993 --> 00:03:18,724
Relax. Your girlfriend's gonna know
it wasn't you. She knows your deal.

47
00:03:18,830 --> 00:03:20,730
Hey, Candace. Looking good.

48
00:03:20,832 --> 00:03:22,766
Heard you went on the pill.

49
00:03:26,405 --> 00:03:30,102
What the fuck did you just say to me?

50
00:03:30,209 --> 00:03:32,268
Nothing. L-I didn't say anything.

51
00:03:36,815 --> 00:03:39,545
Candace, uh, sorry.
I won't go out with you.

52
00:03:39,651 --> 00:03:42,085
I just- I don't dig handicapped chicks.

53
00:03:44,189 --> 00:03:46,020
I have epilepsy, you limp-dicked shit.

54
00:03:46,124 --> 00:03:47,989
I'm not handicapped. It's a condition.

55
00:03:48,093 --> 00:03:52,359
<i>Tucker, if you so much as
make eye contact with me again...</i>

56
00:03:52,464 --> 00:03:54,364
my brother will kill you.

57
00:03:54,466 --> 00:03:56,900
- He's a firefighter, and they're crazy.
- Okay, okay.

58
00:03:57,002 --> 00:03:58,970
Deal. Deal. Deal.

59
00:04:03,208 --> 00:04:06,405
Geez. What a bitch.

60
00:04:06,511 --> 00:04:09,605
- What was that?
- Nothing. I didn't say anything.

61
00:04:17,055 --> 00:04:21,424
Man, why do you even do these sermons?
They don't even pay you.

62
00:04:21,526 --> 00:04:26,327
Tucker, I have told you.
They're not sermons, they're seminars.

63
00:04:26,431 --> 00:04:30,595
I do them because I believe in them, and
I think kids need to hear this message.

64
00:04:30,702 --> 00:04:33,296
I wish my brother
had had a seminar like this.

65
00:04:40,178 --> 00:04:43,909
<i>Shh.!</i>

66
00:04:44,016 --> 00:04:48,817
And now I'd like to bring up
Eugene Bell and Cindi Whitehall...

67
00:04:48,920 --> 00:04:54,187
a young couple who will be graduating
from our high school this year.

68
00:04:54,293 --> 00:04:59,162
<i>Let's give a nice, warm
Jefferson County Middle School welcome...</i>

69
00:04:59,264 --> 00:05:01,960
to Eugene and Cindi.

70
00:05:04,069 --> 00:05:06,162
Come on!

71
00:05:08,807 --> 00:05:11,002
Hey, gang.

72
00:05:11,109 --> 00:05:15,205
We're here today to talk to you about one of
the most important decisions that you can make.

73
00:05:15,314 --> 00:05:18,579
<i>Now, I know at your age you guys
probably think all the older guys and gals...</i>

74
00:05:18,684 --> 00:05:20,584
are out there having sex.

75
00:05:20,686 --> 00:05:22,586
<i>But Cindi and I...</i>

76
00:05:22,688 --> 00:05:25,316
<i>have been in a relationship
for two and a half years now...</i>

77
00:05:25,424 --> 00:05:28,359
and we've decided to
save ourselves for marriage.

78
00:05:28,460 --> 00:05:30,087
That's right, Eugene.

79
00:05:30,195 --> 00:05:32,720
We have a happy, healthy romance...

80
00:05:32,831 --> 00:05:35,732
and we don't need intercourse
to prove that.

81
00:05:35,834 --> 00:05:38,735
I'd like to tell you guys
a story right now if I can.

82
00:05:38,837 --> 00:05:42,273
This is a true story that happened to
my older brother, Craig.

83
00:05:42,374 --> 00:05:46,435
<i>Craig was a nice, normal kid,
just like me or you.</i>

84
00:05:46,545 --> 00:05:51,608
<i>Then one night, he and his
girlfriend of two years...</i>

85
00:05:51,717 --> 00:05:54,618
decided to go-
all the way.

86
00:05:54,720 --> 00:05:57,188
<i>It was Craig's first time having sex...</i>

87
00:05:57,289 --> 00:06:00,190
and he thought, hey, what's
the worst thing that could happen?

88
00:06:00,292 --> 00:06:02,658
He thought they were sharing
something very special.

89
00:06:02,761 --> 00:06:05,059
But what she was sharing
with him was syphilis.

90
00:06:05,163 --> 00:06:07,290
<i>He got syphilis.</i>

91
00:06:07,399 --> 00:06:11,392
Then she got pregnant, and
because she smoked cigarettes...

92
00:06:11,503 --> 00:06:13,869
the baby came out a crackhead.

93
00:06:15,974 --> 00:06:17,874
<i>The once-happy couple soon broke up.</i>

94
00:06:17,976 --> 00:06:20,877
Craig had to drop out of high school
and work two jobs so he could keep up with...

95
00:06:20,979 --> 00:06:22,879
the child support payments
and the medical bills.

96
00:06:22,981 --> 00:06:25,779
But it didn't stop there.

97
00:06:25,884 --> 00:06:29,877
One afternoon while my mother was babysitting
for Craig, the baby set the house on fire.

98
00:06:29,988 --> 00:06:32,548
Because he was a crackhead.

99
00:06:32,657 --> 00:06:35,888
My mother and little nephew
died in that blaze...

100
00:06:35,994 --> 00:06:38,895
and the grief from that,
along with the advanced stages of syphilis...

101
00:06:38,997 --> 00:06:41,898
which put an enormous amount
of pressure on Craig's frontal lobe...

102
00:06:42,000 --> 00:06:43,729
drove him insane.

103
00:06:43,835 --> 00:06:46,668
<i>Today Eugene's brother
sits in a padded cell...</i>

104
00:06:46,772 --> 00:06:49,332
doing nothing but eating his own feces-

105
00:06:49,441 --> 00:06:51,500
<i>and regretting the one time...</i>

106
00:06:51,610 --> 00:06:53,805
that he had sex.

107
00:06:53,912 --> 00:06:55,903
Whoa!

108
00:06:56,014 --> 00:06:58,244
Here, buddy.

109
00:06:58,350 --> 00:07:00,318
<i>Lights, please.</i>

110
00:07:00,419 --> 00:07:02,853
<i>This is a venereal disease.</i>

111
00:07:29,281 --> 00:07:32,045
- Hey.
- Hey. I'm in the tree.

112
00:07:37,322 --> 00:07:39,483
- Hey.
- Hi.

113
00:07:39,591 --> 00:07:42,492
- Are your parents asleep?
- Yeah, they just went to bed.

114
00:07:42,594 --> 00:07:45,791
Hey, so Tucker told me about this awesome
party this weekend after the dance.

115
00:07:45,897 --> 00:07:47,797
I think we should totally go.

116
00:07:47,899 --> 00:07:51,528
You want to go to a party
with Tucker after prom?

117
00:07:51,636 --> 00:07:54,571
Yeah. I mean, that's-
that's what people do, right?

118
00:07:54,673 --> 00:07:58,404
<i>Eugene, did you think about
what we talked about?</i>

119
00:07:58,510 --> 00:08:02,002
Uh, yeah, you know, I did think about it.

120
00:08:02,113 --> 00:08:06,015
But, like, I think I need a little bit more time
just to work everything out in my head...

121
00:08:06,117 --> 00:08:08,517
like a month or just a couple of weeks...

122
00:08:08,620 --> 00:08:10,747
'cause there's, like, a lot of factors.

123
00:08:10,856 --> 00:08:14,519
Eugene, I love you. We've been going out
for two and a half years.

124
00:08:14,626 --> 00:08:18,027
- I think we're ready.
- That's what Sandra said to Craig.

125
00:08:18,129 --> 00:08:21,690
Oh, will you stop talking about
your crazy brother? That was a fluke.

126
00:08:21,800 --> 00:08:25,600
My younger sister has sex all the time,
and neither of her babies are crackheads.

127
00:08:25,704 --> 00:08:28,605
Cindi, I can't believe
what I'm hearing right now.

128
00:08:28,707 --> 00:08:32,404
What about the seminar? What about
everything we said to those kids this afternoon?

129
00:08:32,511 --> 00:08:35,275
I don't think that 15-year-old kids
should be having sex.

130
00:08:35,380 --> 00:08:38,577
You have to wait until you find
that special someone.

131
00:08:38,683 --> 00:08:41,618
<i>But, Eugene, you are my special someone.</i>

132
00:08:41,720 --> 00:08:46,953
<i>And if I'm not yours, then I think that we have
a whole other set of problems to worry about.</i>

133
00:08:48,994 --> 00:08:50,894
I'm gonna go to bed.

134
00:08:50,996 --> 00:08:53,226
I'll call you tomorrow.

135
00:08:54,566 --> 00:08:56,761
Cindi, wait.

136
00:09:00,105 --> 00:09:02,630
I'll have sex with you on prom night.

137
00:09:02,741 --> 00:09:04,538
You promise?

138
00:09:05,777 --> 00:09:08,473
I promise I'll have sex
with you on prom night.

139
00:09:08,580 --> 00:09:10,480
I love you, Eugene.

140
00:09:10,582 --> 00:09:12,743
I love you, Cindi.

141
00:09:23,561 --> 00:09:25,756
- Hello?
- Dude!

142
00:09:25,863 --> 00:09:27,990
Five hours till you're chode deep.

143
00:09:28,098 --> 00:09:29,793
Yes, I know that. Thank you.

144
00:09:29,900 --> 00:09:32,232
<i>Are you psyched? Are you psyched?</i>

145
00:09:32,336 --> 00:09:34,236
Yes, I'm very psyched.

146
00:09:34,338 --> 00:09:36,829
- Did you shave your cock yet?
- What?

147
00:09:36,941 --> 00:09:39,842
You gotta shave your cock.
It makes it look bigger.

148
00:09:39,944 --> 00:09:42,344
Really? Wh- I'm not shaving my cock.

149
00:09:42,446 --> 00:09:46,075
You have to. You gonna have shaved balls
and a hairy cock? That's gonna look weird.

150
00:09:46,183 --> 00:09:47,844
I'm not shaving my balls either.

151
00:09:47,952 --> 00:09:50,750
- Oh, my God.
- Tucker, I've got this, okay?

152
00:09:50,854 --> 00:09:53,652
Eugene, no, you don't got this.

153
00:09:53,757 --> 00:09:57,693
Look, man, I've already slept with 12 women.
That's punishable by stoning in some countries.

154
00:09:57,795 --> 00:10:00,320
<i>- That's great, Tucker.
- That is great.</i>

155
00:10:00,431 --> 00:10:03,923
And I've only been having sex
for two years. That's six women a year.

156
00:10:04,034 --> 00:10:06,093
Do you know what that means?

157
00:10:06,203 --> 00:10:09,195
That means in 10 years,
I'll have banged, like, 600 chicks.

158
00:10:09,306 --> 00:10:11,831
Did you get the limo? I'm supposed
to pick Cindi up in half an hour.

159
00:10:11,942 --> 00:10:15,378
Horsedick. MPEG's got it.
He's picking you up.

160
00:10:15,479 --> 00:10:19,279
- Who is Horsedick. MPEG?
- Oh, that's Phil, man. That's his M.C. Name.

161
00:10:19,383 --> 00:10:22,284
- Phil's M.C. Name is Horsedick?
- Dot-MPEG.

162
00:10:22,386 --> 00:10:24,684
Dot-MPEG. That is so ridiculous.

163
00:10:24,788 --> 00:10:27,450
Dude, you are so white.
And what's with this attitude?

164
00:10:27,558 --> 00:10:30,459
This is gonna be the best
night of your life.

165
00:10:30,561 --> 00:10:34,554
Look, I'm not even sure I'm ready to be
doing this. Do you have any helpful advice?

166
00:10:34,665 --> 00:10:38,431
Do you have any tips on how I can make this
a wonderful, romantic night for Cindi...

167
00:10:38,535 --> 00:10:41,163
and everything she wants it to be?

168
00:10:41,271 --> 00:10:43,171
Shave your cock.

169
00:10:43,273 --> 00:10:45,400
Yeah.

170
00:10:48,712 --> 00:10:52,170
Oh, you gotta be kidding me.

171
00:10:56,186 --> 00:10:59,747
Man, I ain't seen this motherfucker in,
like, four-11 years or some shit.

172
00:10:59,857 --> 00:11:03,759
I didn't know they let people that
dropped out of high school go to prom.

173
00:11:06,363 --> 00:11:09,423
You're stupid! You're stupid!

174
00:11:09,533 --> 00:11:11,694
No, Crystal's still in high school.

175
00:11:11,802 --> 00:11:15,363
I also didn't know
they let freshmen go to prom.

176
00:11:15,472 --> 00:11:18,532
Well, they're gonna let us in there
when Horsedick. MPEG rolls up.

177
00:11:18,642 --> 00:11:21,543
I'm about to sign me a record deal.

178
00:11:21,645 --> 00:11:24,409
Horsedick's got a song on the Internet!

179
00:11:25,516 --> 00:11:27,848
The Internet. Wow.

180
00:11:27,951 --> 00:11:30,784
You know how many motherfuckers
use the Internet?

181
00:11:30,888 --> 00:11:33,220
I know a lot do.

182
00:11:33,323 --> 00:11:37,020
Half of them! I'm talkin' 'bout thousands
and thousands of motherfuckers, man.

183
00:11:37,127 --> 00:11:41,723
<i>And now my shit is up there.
Whoo.! We celebratin;</i>

184
00:11:41,832 --> 00:11:43,595
Um, hey, Horsedick?

185
00:11:43,701 --> 00:11:46,602
- Dot-MPEG!
- Dot-MPEG.

186
00:11:48,706 --> 00:11:52,107
Would you mind turning the music down just
a bit? We're almost to my girlfriend's house.

187
00:11:52,209 --> 00:11:54,769
You can't turn Horsedick. MPEG down.

188
00:11:54,878 --> 00:11:57,608
This is my shit. I made this.

189
00:12:24,475 --> 00:12:27,069
Hi, Cindi. Hi, Mr. And Mrs. Whitehall.

190
00:12:29,179 --> 00:12:31,511
That's some ride
you've got there, Eugene.

191
00:12:31,615 --> 00:12:35,073
Thank you.

192
00:12:35,185 --> 00:12:38,279
- So, there won't be any drinking going on tonight, will there?
- Dad.

193
00:12:38,388 --> 00:12:40,219
No, sir. Not at all.

194
00:12:40,324 --> 00:12:44,055
<i>Let me get a picture of the two of you.</i>

195
00:12:46,864 --> 00:12:50,300
<i>Oh, Horsedick, you are nasty!</i>

196
00:12:53,137 --> 00:12:55,537
Hey, Daddy.

197
00:12:55,639 --> 00:12:58,904
<i>Come on, get in the car, baby.!</i>

198
00:13:00,277 --> 00:13:02,609
<i>Come here, motherfucker.</i>

199
00:13:06,216 --> 00:13:08,343
- Yeah!
- Spank it!

200
00:13:19,096 --> 00:13:22,554
Whoo!

201
00:13:39,183 --> 00:13:41,083
I'm sorry.

202
00:13:41,185 --> 00:13:45,212
I'm sure this is not as romantic
as you probably envisioned the prom.

203
00:13:45,322 --> 00:13:47,222
Hey, everybody!

204
00:13:47,324 --> 00:13:49,986
Denise is so wasted,
she's blowing Brian in the den.

205
00:13:53,011 --> 00:13:56,708
- I'm gonna go get the keys to the master bedroom.
- Okay.

206
00:13:56,815 --> 00:13:59,340
Aaah!
Okay!

207
00:13:59,451 --> 00:14:01,783
- Meet me upstairs in five minutes?
- Sure.

208
00:14:02,921 --> 00:14:04,718
Sure.

209
00:14:09,961 --> 00:14:12,122
Dude! Where's Cindi?

210
00:14:12,230 --> 00:14:15,393
- Shouldn't you be banging her out by now?
- I'm about to bang her out.

211
00:14:15,500 --> 00:14:18,833
- She just went upstairs.
- Yet you look like you're going to a funeral.

212
00:14:18,937 --> 00:14:21,599
Tucker, I'm just
dealing with this in my own way.

213
00:14:21,706 --> 00:14:24,607
"Dealing with this"?
You're not going upstairs to have surgery.

214
00:14:24,709 --> 00:14:27,906
You're going upstairs
to have sex! With a girl!

215
00:14:28,013 --> 00:14:32,882
And yeah, she may not be the most attractive
girl in school, but she's a solid, solid seven.

216
00:14:32,984 --> 00:14:35,043
What? She's a seven?

217
00:14:35,153 --> 00:14:37,587
Look, you've already decided to do this.

218
00:14:37,689 --> 00:14:41,090
So you can go and trudge through it like
it's a chore and end up hurting her feelings...

219
00:14:41,192 --> 00:14:44,491
or you can go enjoy yourself and have sex.

220
00:14:44,596 --> 00:14:46,496
I know, I know.

221
00:14:46,598 --> 00:14:50,329
Look, most guys end up losing their virginity
to some sort of stripper or one-night stand.

222
00:14:50,435 --> 00:14:54,462
You're lucky enough to have it be with a
girl that you actually love, and loves you back.

223
00:14:54,573 --> 00:14:57,474
You're right. You're right.

224
00:14:57,576 --> 00:15:00,977
And that means she may let you do anal.

225
00:15:01,079 --> 00:15:04,480
Thank you, Tucker. That was actually-
That was oddly helpful.

226
00:15:04,583 --> 00:15:06,483
All right. I'm gonna do it.

227
00:15:06,585 --> 00:15:08,485
- I'm gonna do it.
- Yeah!

228
00:15:08,587 --> 00:15:10,487
- I'm gonna do it now.
- All right!

229
00:15:10,589 --> 00:15:12,489
- I'm gonna have sex.
- Yes, you are.

230
00:15:12,591 --> 00:15:16,118
- Oh, my God, I'm nervous.
- That, too, I can help you out with.

231
00:15:19,598 --> 00:15:23,034
- A little whiskey always calms the nerves.
- Cheers!

232
00:15:23,134 --> 00:15:26,035
You should probably have one more
since this is your first time...

233
00:15:26,137 --> 00:15:29,038
'cause you'll explode
as soon as you get it in there.

234
00:15:29,140 --> 00:15:32,041
- Gotta numb the senses.
- Really? That makes sense.

235
00:15:34,980 --> 00:15:37,471
- Whoo!
- I am gonna do it.

236
00:15:37,582 --> 00:15:40,312
Go for it, Eugene.
But one more for good luck.

237
00:15:40,418 --> 00:15:44,548
Yeah. Good luck to me for having sex!

238
00:15:47,926 --> 00:15:51,987
The next time you see me, I will be a man.

239
00:15:52,097 --> 00:15:55,498
Go get 'em, Eugene-Wait!
That's not the hallway!

240
00:15:58,970 --> 00:16:00,699
Eugene!

241
00:16:06,511 --> 00:16:09,605
Whoa. Punked.

242
00:16:27,198 --> 00:16:30,599
<i>Okay, buddy, nowjust hold still.</i>

243
00:16:30,702 --> 00:16:33,262
<i>I have an idea.</i>

244
00:16:33,371 --> 00:16:35,134
<i>And... wake up.!</i>

245
00:16:35,240 --> 00:16:38,107
I knew it! I knew it would work.

246
00:16:38,209 --> 00:16:42,270
- What the fuck is wrong with you, man?
- You're alive. Whoa!

247
00:16:42,380 --> 00:16:45,872
What the fuck is going on?

248
00:16:45,984 --> 00:16:48,885
- You probably can't move yet. You have atrophy.
- Why can't I move?

249
00:16:48,987 --> 00:16:51,080
Why can't I move and hurt you?

250
00:16:51,189 --> 00:16:54,454
Because you haven't used your body in,
like, four years. You gotta take it easy.

251
00:16:54,559 --> 00:16:57,494
Tucker, what's happening? Why am I here?

252
00:16:57,595 --> 00:17:00,496
You fell down the stairs after prom
and were in a coma for four years.

253
00:17:00,598 --> 00:17:03,499
Then I saved your life,
because I'm a genius.

254
00:17:03,601 --> 00:17:07,002
You! I told you no hit mister with the bat.

255
00:17:07,105 --> 00:17:09,630
Juanita, I brought him back to life.

256
00:17:09,741 --> 00:17:13,302
<i>- I told you the bat trick would work.
- policia.! Policia.!</i>

257
00:17:13,411 --> 00:17:16,244
- What the fuck is going on?
- Eugene, don't do that. You'll overexert yourself.

258
00:17:20,051 --> 00:17:22,611
Oh! You're pooping!

259
00:17:28,675 --> 00:17:31,576
Your body is in
an extreme state of atrophy...

260
00:17:31,678 --> 00:17:36,308
but you're in surprisingly good shape for
someone who's been in a coma for four years.

261
00:17:36,416 --> 00:17:39,317
You've healed from all the damage
you received in your initial fall...

262
00:17:39,419 --> 00:17:42,752
so all that you'll need to recover from
is from the effects of the coma itself.

263
00:17:42,856 --> 00:17:46,121
What about my face?

264
00:17:46,226 --> 00:17:49,127
Yes, well, your nose was broken
by the force of the baseball bat...

265
00:17:49,229 --> 00:17:52,687
and the frontal palate of your skull has
some pretty bad fractures.

266
00:17:52,799 --> 00:17:54,426
<i>But we've set most of that.</i>

267
00:17:54,534 --> 00:17:57,298
You were hit pretty hard though.

268
00:17:59,372 --> 00:18:01,533
But you'll find over time...

269
00:18:01,641 --> 00:18:04,906
that your muscle strength will return,
as well as bowel control.

270
00:18:05,011 --> 00:18:08,640
- Until then, it's best
to avoid strenuous situations.

271
00:18:08,748 --> 00:18:10,409
That's why you pooped.

272
00:18:10,517 --> 00:18:13,042
Yeah.

273
00:18:13,153 --> 00:18:16,122
Yeah, you did. A lot.

274
00:18:17,490 --> 00:18:19,515
Lots of poop.

275
00:18:19,626 --> 00:18:21,526
Like, almost four years worth of poop.

276
00:18:23,363 --> 00:18:25,593
Should call you Poopy Pants.

277
00:18:25,698 --> 00:18:27,598
Mr. Poopy Pants.

278
00:18:29,769 --> 00:18:33,330
Sorry. Anyway, I'll let you get some rest.

279
00:18:33,440 --> 00:18:37,206
I'm sure you and your friend
have some catching up to do.

280
00:18:39,145 --> 00:18:43,047
- Oh, and, Tucker, off the record-
- Yeah?

281
00:18:43,149 --> 00:18:45,174
I like your style.

282
00:18:51,658 --> 00:18:54,218
I can't believe
I've been here for four years.

283
00:18:54,327 --> 00:18:57,558
Yeah. You gotta watch
where you're walking.

284
00:18:57,664 --> 00:19:00,292
It doesn't feel like four years ago.

285
00:19:00,400 --> 00:19:03,460
I feel like just five seconds ago
I was getting wasted with you...

286
00:19:03,570 --> 00:19:07,006
and going upstairs to have sex.

287
00:19:07,106 --> 00:19:10,007
Wait a minute. How come
just you're here? Where's Cindi?

288
00:19:10,109 --> 00:19:13,806
- Where's my Dad?
- Oh, his job moved him down to Florida.

289
00:19:13,913 --> 00:19:16,643
What? He left me in the hospital?

290
00:19:16,749 --> 00:19:18,478
Well, dude, you were a vegetable.

291
00:19:18,585 --> 00:19:20,610
Besides, he still has an apartment here.

292
00:19:20,720 --> 00:19:23,280
- What about Cindi?
- Oh, I don't know where she is.

293
00:19:23,389 --> 00:19:28,122
- Well, give me your cell phone.
- No, I don't know where she is. She moved after graduation.

294
00:19:28,228 --> 00:19:30,696
- She left me too?
- You were a vegetable.

295
00:19:30,797 --> 00:19:32,628
Then how come you're still here?

296
00:19:32,732 --> 00:19:34,495
'Cause we're homeys, dude. Lock it up.

297
00:19:34,601 --> 00:19:36,592
I can't believe she would
just leave me like that.

298
00:19:36,703 --> 00:19:39,103
She was around for a little while...

299
00:19:39,205 --> 00:19:42,971
but then she got into college and it really
didn't look like you were gonna wake up.

300
00:19:43,076 --> 00:19:45,977
I mean, it took me four years
to figure out the bat trick.

301
00:19:46,079 --> 00:19:48,809
I tried to look her up
about a year or so ago...

302
00:19:48,915 --> 00:19:53,215
<i>but she dropped out after freshman year,
and the trail goes cold.</i>

303
00:19:54,854 --> 00:19:57,880
Tucker, I appreciate you
being here. L- I really do.

304
00:19:57,991 --> 00:20:00,892
But I think right now
I just need to be alone for a while.

305
00:20:00,994 --> 00:20:02,894
Okay, man.

306
00:20:02,996 --> 00:20:04,896
I'll check on you tomorrow.

307
00:20:04,998 --> 00:20:07,398
Besides, I got a date with the old lady.

308
00:20:07,500 --> 00:20:10,060
Wait. You have a girlfriend?

309
00:20:10,169 --> 00:20:12,069
Well, I'm not the kind of guy...

310
00:20:12,171 --> 00:20:14,071
that gets chained down to one woman...

311
00:20:14,173 --> 00:20:16,471
but lately I've been banging Candace.

312
00:20:16,576 --> 00:20:18,476
That crazy handicapped chick?

313
00:20:18,578 --> 00:20:20,978
Hey. Epilepsy, dude. It's a condition.

314
00:20:21,080 --> 00:20:24,140
Plus, it's kind of hot.
She, like, vibrates.

315
00:20:24,250 --> 00:20:25,649
Nice.

316
00:20:27,421 --> 00:20:29,548
<i>All right.</i>

317
00:20:29,655 --> 00:20:32,647
<i>Okay, looking good. Looking good.</i>

318
00:20:32,758 --> 00:20:35,454
Bobby, you wanna sit up
real straight for me there?

319
00:20:35,561 --> 00:20:37,995
<i>- Sit up straight, sweetie.
- All right.</i>

320
00:20:38,097 --> 00:20:41,589
Everybody say, "Fuzzy pickles. "

321
00:20:41,701 --> 00:20:43,896
Fuzzy pickles.

322
00:20:44,003 --> 00:20:45,903
That was great. That was great.

323
00:20:46,005 --> 00:20:51,500
I'm gonna try one more, and let me
work with Mommy for a second.

324
00:20:51,611 --> 00:20:53,272
All right, let's see.

325
00:20:53,379 --> 00:20:57,281
Let's brush some of this hair away
from Mommy's neck-

326
00:20:57,383 --> 00:20:59,283
Bring out Mommy's pretty neck.

327
00:20:59,385 --> 00:21:02,081
That's good. That's good. Okay.

328
00:21:02,188 --> 00:21:05,783
Let's have a couple wisps
hang down here by the nape of the neck.

329
00:21:05,892 --> 00:21:08,190
That's good. That looks great. There we go.

330
00:21:08,294 --> 00:21:12,856
And here, position three-quarters
there like that. Okay? Like that.

331
00:21:12,965 --> 00:21:14,933
That's good. That's good.

332
00:21:15,034 --> 00:21:17,696
- Like that, and-
- Okay, okay.

333
00:21:17,803 --> 00:21:21,000
- Okay, that's enough playful, pal.
- It's gonna be good.

334
00:21:21,107 --> 00:21:23,507
All right, stay like that.

335
00:21:23,609 --> 00:21:27,511
It's gonna be good. Okay, now
everybody say, "Mommy's a vision. "

336
00:21:27,613 --> 00:21:30,377
Mommy's a vision.

337
00:21:31,517 --> 00:21:34,418
<i>Do not run away.
Hey, this is big-time stuff.</i>

338
00:21:34,520 --> 00:21:36,420
Mr. Biederman is extremely upset.

339
00:21:36,522 --> 00:21:40,151
He brings his family in for a photo
and you turn that into soft-core pornography.

340
00:21:40,259 --> 00:21:42,159
He's crazy. I think he does drugs.

341
00:21:42,261 --> 00:21:45,162
Well, he said that you unbuttoned
his wife's shirt.

342
00:21:45,264 --> 00:21:48,165
He said you handed her
your phone number as she was leaving.

343
00:21:48,267 --> 00:21:50,667
- What the "H", bro? Come on!
- Some mail came for you.

344
00:21:50,770 --> 00:21:52,670
<i>Sweet. New playboy.</i>

345
00:21:52,772 --> 00:21:55,673
How many times have I told you not to
have that delivered here? About a million?

346
00:21:55,775 --> 00:21:58,676
Why doesn't anybody
listen to me, ever? Jesus!

347
00:21:58,778 --> 00:22:00,541
Oh, my God.

348
00:22:00,646 --> 00:22:02,477
What?

349
00:22:02,582 --> 00:22:04,573
Pack your bags, Eugene. I found her.

350
00:22:04,684 --> 00:22:07,585
<i>- No, no, no. You cannot be here.
- Juanita, vamonos.</i>

351
00:22:07,687 --> 00:22:09,780
- I found Cindi.
- What? Where?

352
00:22:09,889 --> 00:22:12,289
<i>Right there.</i>

353
00:22:14,860 --> 00:22:17,090
<i>Mierda.</i>

354
00:22:18,764 --> 00:22:20,994
I can't believe Cindi would do this.

355
00:22:21,100 --> 00:22:23,500
She's changed, man. She's all growed up.

356
00:22:23,603 --> 00:22:25,901
<i>The girl next door is now
one of The Girls Next Door.</i>

357
00:22:26,005 --> 00:22:29,702
<i>Oh, my God. It says one ofher likes
is sex on the beach.</i>

358
00:22:29,809 --> 00:22:32,073
Calm down. That could just be the drink.

359
00:22:32,178 --> 00:22:35,341
Tucker, do you think
that Cindi's still a virgin?

360
00:22:35,448 --> 00:22:37,348
Let's see.

361
00:22:41,020 --> 00:22:42,920
No, afraid not.

362
00:22:43,022 --> 00:22:45,217
- Oh, my God.
- This is perfect.

363
00:22:45,324 --> 00:22:47,224
How is this perfect?

364
00:22:47,326 --> 00:22:50,727
<i>This Saturday is playboy's
annual anniversary bash.</i>

365
00:22:50,830 --> 00:22:52,730
So?

366
00:22:52,832 --> 00:22:55,733
So, this Saturday
all the Playmates, including Cindi...

367
00:22:55,835 --> 00:22:57,735
are gonna be at the Playboy Mansion...

368
00:22:57,837 --> 00:23:00,897
mingling with guests,
sipping slightly alcoholic beverages.

369
00:23:02,141 --> 00:23:04,132
- Yeah, but, Tucker-
- Dude, this is meant to be.

370
00:23:04,243 --> 00:23:06,768
<i>What are the odds that this issue would
come out right now...</i>

371
00:23:06,879 --> 00:23:08,779
as you're getting out of your coma?

372
00:23:08,881 --> 00:23:10,781
I guess.

373
00:23:10,883 --> 00:23:13,784
This is true love speaking. True love doesn't
speak often, but it's speaking to us now.

374
00:23:13,886 --> 00:23:16,411
It's telling us to go
to the Playboy Mansion.

375
00:23:16,522 --> 00:23:18,786
Yeah, but, Tucker,
I can't even walk here, man.

376
00:23:18,891 --> 00:23:21,826
- You're getting a little better every day, right?
- Yeah.

377
00:23:21,927 --> 00:23:25,294
So the party's Saturday night. That means
we have to catch a plane Saturday morning.

378
00:23:25,398 --> 00:23:28,959
It's Thursday today, so that gives us
three days to get you on your feet.

379
00:23:29,068 --> 00:23:31,229
Think you can do it?

380
00:23:31,337 --> 00:23:33,305
- I can try.
- Yes! That's the spirit!

381
00:23:33,406 --> 00:23:35,397
We're going to the Playboy Mansion!

382
00:23:35,508 --> 00:23:38,500
<i>- Yeah! playboy.!
- Ow!</i>

383
00:24:18,684 --> 00:24:21,983
<i>Mister, you have a telephone call from a Mr. Bell.</i>

384
00:24:24,390 --> 00:24:26,517
- Dad?
- Eugene?

385
00:24:26,625 --> 00:24:28,752
- Hey, sport.
- Hey, Dad.

386
00:24:28,861 --> 00:24:32,763
I can't tell you how glad I was when
they told me you came out of that coma.

387
00:24:32,865 --> 00:24:36,062
- That's great. That's really great.
- Yeah.

388
00:24:36,168 --> 00:24:38,728
Um, it's been weird here.

389
00:24:38,838 --> 00:24:42,330
This actually works out great, 'cause I'm
gonna be up there in a few weeks on business.

390
00:24:42,441 --> 00:24:44,466
In a few weeks?

391
00:24:44,577 --> 00:24:46,807
That's right, buddy.

392
00:24:46,912 --> 00:24:49,813
Oh, wait a minute.
I'm getting another call.

393
00:24:49,915 --> 00:24:52,816
- You know what? It's Japan. I'm gonna have to take this.
- Okay.

394
00:24:52,918 --> 00:24:55,113
Okay, but in a few weeks-

395
00:24:55,221 --> 00:24:57,212
What?

396
00:24:57,323 --> 00:25:00,224
Oh, shit. Is this still Eugene? Hold on.

397
00:25:11,537 --> 00:25:13,334
Whoa.

398
00:25:13,439 --> 00:25:18,570
Wow. This is the nicest place
you've ever taken me to, Tucker.

399
00:25:18,677 --> 00:25:21,202
Yeah. They don't even have a drive-through.

400
00:25:21,313 --> 00:25:23,110
Sir, may I help you?

401
00:25:23,215 --> 00:25:27,117
Yeah, we'll take a plate
ofTater-Tots and... Jager?

402
00:25:27,219 --> 00:25:30,518
- TwoJagers.
- Excellent choice, sir.

403
00:25:30,623 --> 00:25:34,423
- Wanna get your picture taken with the waiter?
- Could I?

404
00:25:38,063 --> 00:25:40,054
<i>Come on, closer.</i>

405
00:25:40,166 --> 00:25:42,691
<i>And-</i>

406
00:25:42,802 --> 00:25:45,566
- Awesome.
- Very good.

407
00:25:47,306 --> 00:25:50,537
So, Tucker, I got you
an anniversary present.

408
00:25:50,643 --> 00:25:53,134
I know. I'm sorry.

409
00:25:53,245 --> 00:25:56,737
I know how you feel about that term,
but it was 13 months ago tonight that-

410
00:25:56,849 --> 00:26:00,012
That we did each other for the first time.

411
00:26:00,119 --> 00:26:03,646
Yes, that we did each other
for the first time.

412
00:26:03,756 --> 00:26:06,919
This is just a little something
to say that it's been a great 13 months.

413
00:26:07,026 --> 00:26:10,792
- Thank you.
- Cool! A card.

414
00:26:13,265 --> 00:26:15,233
Is there a check?

415
00:26:15,334 --> 00:26:18,997
No, there's no check.
It's an anniversary card.

416
00:26:23,943 --> 00:26:26,241
You got me the Black Billiard.

417
00:26:26,345 --> 00:26:29,178
This is just like the pipe
that Hugh Hefner used to smoke.

418
00:26:29,281 --> 00:26:31,408
I know.

419
00:26:34,920 --> 00:26:38,515
Candace, you're, like,
so totally the coolest girl in the world.

420
00:26:39,625 --> 00:26:41,490
So, where are we going after this?

421
00:26:41,594 --> 00:26:44,495
Don't you worry about it, babe.
I got it all planned out.

422
00:26:44,597 --> 00:26:46,462
Tonight is gonna be awesome.

423
00:26:54,807 --> 00:26:57,275
What was that? Who is that?

424
00:26:58,444 --> 00:27:01,641
What the fuck?

425
00:27:01,747 --> 00:27:04,307
- Tucker?
- We gotta go, man. Get your stuff.

426
00:27:04,416 --> 00:27:07,510
- What are you talking about? What's going on?
- We gotta go. Now, now, now.

427
00:27:07,620 --> 00:27:09,520
- We're not leaving till Saturday.
- Plans change.

428
00:27:09,622 --> 00:27:11,453
I'm not ready!

429
00:27:13,425 --> 00:27:16,292
No. No! You can't be here! He's stealing the mister!

430
00:27:16,395 --> 00:27:18,295
Tucker, what the fuck is going on?

431
00:27:18,397 --> 00:27:21,127
<i>We have to get out of town.
I'll explain in the car.</i>

432
00:27:21,233 --> 00:27:23,724
- Get out of town?
- There he is! That son of a bitch!

433
00:27:23,836 --> 00:27:26,202
<i>- Detour, Eugene.
- Let me at him.!</i>

434
00:27:27,406 --> 00:27:31,172
You're a dead man,
Tucker Cleigh! A dead man!

435
00:27:31,277 --> 00:27:33,745
- Mister!
- Tucker, what the hell is happening?

436
00:27:33,846 --> 00:27:36,906
Ah! Jesus! Oww!

437
00:27:37,016 --> 00:27:39,678
- There's a ramp right there!
- No time for the ramp.

438
00:27:39,785 --> 00:27:41,685
Hey, hey, take it easy. Hey!

439
00:27:41,787 --> 00:27:43,687
Oww!

440
00:27:43,789 --> 00:27:45,689
Tucker, I can't even walk here.

441
00:27:45,791 --> 00:27:48,692
If I take a shit in your car,
it's gonna be a pretty short trip.

442
00:27:50,529 --> 00:27:52,497
Stop! You can't take the mister!

443
00:27:52,598 --> 00:27:55,123
<i>Policia! He's not ready.!</i>

444
00:27:55,234 --> 00:27:59,762
<i>- Good-bye, Juanita.
I'll bring him back in one piece.</i>

445
00:28:06,445 --> 00:28:08,811
<i>Pendejo.!</i>

446
00:28:14,520 --> 00:28:17,421
<i>Okay, Tucker, what is going on?
What's wrong with your balls?</i>

447
00:28:17,523 --> 00:28:20,754
- I got to get rid of this cell phone. They can track it.
- What are you talking about?

448
00:28:20,859 --> 00:28:23,259
What's going on? Slow down
and tell me what happened.

449
00:28:23,362 --> 00:28:25,922
- I had a problem with Candace.
- Obviously.

450
00:28:26,031 --> 00:28:27,862
What kind of problem?

451
00:28:27,967 --> 00:28:29,867
Well, it was the 13-month anniversary...

452
00:28:29,969 --> 00:28:32,096
of when Candace and I
first started boning.

453
00:28:32,204 --> 00:28:35,139
<i>- Okay.
- So I wanted to do something really nice and special.</i>

454
00:28:35,240 --> 00:28:39,643
<i>So we got tanked at this really nice
restaurant and then ditched out on the check.</i>

455
00:28:39,745 --> 00:28:43,738
<i>Then we poured some Maker's into a 3-liter of
Coke and did donuts in the Wendy's parking lot.</i>

456
00:28:43,849 --> 00:28:45,749
<i>It was pretty sweet.</i>

457
00:28:45,851 --> 00:28:49,446
<i>Everything was going great.
Then I went to give her her present.</i>

458
00:28:49,555 --> 00:28:52,456
Come into the living room.
I got you something.

459
00:28:52,558 --> 00:28:55,026
Oh, Tucker, that's so sweet.

460
00:28:55,127 --> 00:28:58,096
- What is it? What is it?
- Ta-da!

461
00:28:58,197 --> 00:29:00,131
<i>Apole?</i>

462
00:29:00,232 --> 00:29:02,132
A stripper pole.

463
00:29:02,234 --> 00:29:04,134
A stripper pole?

464
00:29:04,236 --> 00:29:06,534
Happy 13 months boning.

465
00:29:06,638 --> 00:29:08,970
- Tucker.
- Come on, go do a dance.

466
00:29:09,074 --> 00:29:11,804
Do a sexy strip dance or something.

467
00:29:13,679 --> 00:29:15,579
I don't know.

468
00:29:15,681 --> 00:29:17,581
Miss January of this year...

469
00:29:17,683 --> 00:29:20,584
said that 90% of the reason
that relationships fall apart...

470
00:29:20,686 --> 00:29:23,086
is because people don't
spice up the bedroom.

471
00:29:23,188 --> 00:29:25,452
- We're in the living room.
- I know.

472
00:29:29,828 --> 00:29:32,592
Huh? Come on, give it a spin.

473
00:29:37,202 --> 00:29:39,762
Yeah, there you go.

474
00:30:13,105 --> 00:30:16,131
Go on.

475
00:30:16,241 --> 00:30:19,233
So anyway, then she kind of
started to get into it.

476
00:30:25,317 --> 00:30:28,184
You look so awesome right now!

477
00:30:28,287 --> 00:30:31,518
<i>Then she started to, like, really
get into it. Man, it was awesome.</i>

478
00:30:31,623 --> 00:30:35,753
<i>She was whipping her hair around,
sticking her butt up in the air.</i>

479
00:30:47,372 --> 00:30:49,567
Okay.

480
00:30:49,675 --> 00:30:52,644
Then she started to go downtown,
if you know what I mean.

481
00:30:54,213 --> 00:30:56,181
Yeah, I know what you mean.

482
00:31:02,354 --> 00:31:05,016
Oh, that feels good.

483
00:31:05,124 --> 00:31:07,524
Oh, that's great.

484
00:31:07,626 --> 00:31:09,560
Oh, that's awesome.

485
00:31:09,661 --> 00:31:12,687
<i>Man, it was great.
Perfect form, lots of tongue.</i>

486
00:31:12,798 --> 00:31:15,596
Hey, check it out. Strobe lights.

487
00:31:18,804 --> 00:31:23,400
You're biting! You're biting! Candace?
You're biting, Candace!

488
00:31:23,509 --> 00:31:27,206
You're biting! Candace!
You're biting me! Candace!

489
00:31:27,312 --> 00:31:29,610
I don't know.
Candace must just hate strobe lights.

490
00:31:29,715 --> 00:31:31,808
Tucker, that was probably the epilepsy.

491
00:31:31,917 --> 00:31:32,975
Don't make jokes, man.

492
00:31:34,485 --> 00:31:39,548
<i>I didn't know what to do, so I panicked
and I grabbed a fork off the counter...</i>

493
00:31:39,656 --> 00:31:42,147
and I stabbed her in the face!

494
00:31:42,259 --> 00:31:43,692
- Oh, my God!
- I know!

495
00:31:43,794 --> 00:31:45,694
I didn't know what to do. I panicked.

496
00:31:45,796 --> 00:31:49,527
- So you stabbed her?
- I thought she was gonna bite my dick clear off.

497
00:31:49,633 --> 00:31:51,897
- Oh, my God!
- I know!

498
00:31:52,002 --> 00:31:54,232
No wonder she looked so pissed off.

499
00:31:54,338 --> 00:31:57,739
Okay, that's terrible, but why
do we have to get out of town like this?

500
00:32:00,411 --> 00:32:04,177
- Oh, no! Her brother!
- You're gonna die tonight, Tucker Cleigh.

501
00:32:04,281 --> 00:32:06,374
Her brother's a fireman.

502
00:32:06,483 --> 00:32:08,883
Have you ever met one of them?
They're crazy.

503
00:32:12,790 --> 00:32:15,418
- They must have put an A.P.B. Out on my plates.
- What?

504
00:32:31,308 --> 00:32:33,776
Roll up your window! Roll up your window!

505
00:32:44,154 --> 00:32:47,055
What's he gonna do now?

506
00:32:50,794 --> 00:32:53,024
Tucker, do something!

507
00:33:08,194 --> 00:33:10,059
Stupid firemen.

508
00:33:10,162 --> 00:33:12,824
- Can't turn their trucks around.
- My God.

509
00:33:25,944 --> 00:33:29,778
Okay, Tucker, have you put
any thought into this at all?

510
00:33:29,881 --> 00:33:33,476
The Playboy Mansion is on the other side
of the country. That's a long way to drive.

511
00:33:33,585 --> 00:33:36,110
Well, the country is,
like, 10 states wide.

512
00:33:36,221 --> 00:33:39,281
Each state is roughly a hundred miles across,
so that's like a thousand miles.

513
00:33:39,391 --> 00:33:41,291
We're moving at 60 miles an hour.

514
00:33:41,393 --> 00:33:44,851
We should be there in, like, 600 minutes.

515
00:33:44,963 --> 00:33:47,864
Okay, well, not one part of that
was correct, so let me ask you this.

516
00:33:47,966 --> 00:33:50,867
Have you thought about how we're gonna
get into the mansion once we arrive?

517
00:33:58,543 --> 00:34:01,273
- Dot-MPEG.
- Dot-MPEG.

518
00:34:01,380 --> 00:34:05,282
- Did he change his lyrics?
- Yeah, this is the radio-friendly version.

519
00:34:05,384 --> 00:34:07,284
Wait a minute. Horsedick's on the radio?

520
00:34:07,386 --> 00:34:10,446
Yeah, man. He blew up.
He's like the biggest star on the planet.

521
00:34:10,555 --> 00:34:13,353
<i>They even play his song
during Monday Night Football.</i>

522
00:34:13,458 --> 00:34:15,358
I'm asleep for four years.

523
00:34:15,460 --> 00:34:19,191
<i>My dad moves out of town, my girlfriend's
in playboy, and your stupid friend is famous.</i>

524
00:34:19,297 --> 00:34:21,527
<i>Yep. It's kind of like
when Han got unfrozen in Jedi.</i>

525
00:34:21,633 --> 00:34:25,433
<i>Yeah, it's exactly like
when Han got unfrozen in Jedi.</i>

526
00:34:25,537 --> 00:34:28,370
<i>Yo, what's up, everybody? You know who that was.</i>

527
00:34:28,473 --> 00:34:31,203
<i>Horsedick. MpEG with the track
"I'm-a Love a White Girl';...</i>

528
00:34:31,309 --> 00:34:32,970
<i>offhis multi-platinum CD Donkey Dong.</i>

529
00:34:36,081 --> 00:34:39,608
Wait a minute. If Horsedick's
the most famous person in the world...

530
00:34:39,718 --> 00:34:42,619
then he could get into
the Playboy Mansion, right?

531
00:34:42,721 --> 00:34:45,690
Oh, yeah. He could just walk right in.

532
00:34:52,497 --> 00:34:56,228
We should totally get
Horsedick. MPEG to get us in!

533
00:34:56,334 --> 00:34:59,235
<i>He lives in Chicago. He's always
trying to get me to come up and visit.</i>

534
00:34:59,337 --> 00:35:01,771
He'd be totally down to fly us
out to L.A. And hook us up.

535
00:35:01,873 --> 00:35:04,137
Good idea, Tucker.

536
00:35:04,242 --> 00:35:08,804
Okay. Well, at least we have
a plan now- Horsedick.

537
00:35:08,914 --> 00:35:11,280
That's our plan. Horsedick.

538
00:35:11,383 --> 00:35:13,817
- Dot-MPEG.
- Dot-MPEG.

539
00:35:14,052 --> 00:35:15,815
All points bulletin.

540
00:35:15,921 --> 00:35:18,287
Be on the lookout for a Tucker Cleigh.

541
00:35:18,390 --> 00:35:22,326
<i>White male, six foot five.
No visible tattoos.</i>

542
00:35:22,427 --> 00:35:24,418
<i>Last seen April 17.</i>

543
00:35:24,529 --> 00:35:27,430
I just can't believe
the firemen were that angry.

544
00:35:27,532 --> 00:35:29,932
Dude, firemen
breathe noxious fumes all day.

545
00:35:30,035 --> 00:35:32,936
It's their job. Makes them psycho.

546
00:35:33,038 --> 00:35:34,938
I guess that makes sense.

547
00:35:35,040 --> 00:35:38,237
Trust me, dude. Firemen are bad news.

548
00:35:38,343 --> 00:35:41,676
Hey, Tucker, I don't really want
to go in there dressed like this.

549
00:35:41,780 --> 00:35:46,046
Can you get me like a shirt, some pants,
and I think a hoodie would be good.

550
00:35:46,151 --> 00:35:48,585
Sure, no sweat. Just fill her up for me.

551
00:35:48,687 --> 00:35:50,655
Wh- No! Tucker!

552
00:35:50,755 --> 00:35:52,950
I have atrophy!

553
00:36:20,018 --> 00:36:22,509
Ridiculous.

554
00:36:44,276 --> 00:36:46,244
Whoa.

555
00:36:47,746 --> 00:36:49,714
Hugh.

556
00:37:38,997 --> 00:37:40,897
Hey, this is Candace.

557
00:37:40,999 --> 00:37:45,902
I can't come to the phone right now because
I'm out hunting down my piece-of-shit boyfriend.

558
00:37:46,004 --> 00:37:49,030
Leave a message.

559
00:37:49,140 --> 00:37:52,337
Uh, h-hi, Candace.

560
00:37:52,444 --> 00:37:55,379
That's a-That's a pretty funny message.

561
00:37:55,480 --> 00:37:57,471
Um, look...

562
00:37:57,582 --> 00:38:02,281
I- I just wanted to call
and talk about what you did.

563
00:38:02,387 --> 00:38:07,848
Um, I want you to know
that I'm not mad at you...

564
00:38:07,959 --> 00:38:11,861
and I realize that you seemed...

565
00:38:11,963 --> 00:38:14,056
a little...

566
00:38:14,165 --> 00:38:16,065
cross.

567
00:38:16,167 --> 00:38:19,568
And I may have overreacted
a little bit to you biting me.

568
00:38:19,671 --> 00:38:22,572
But... you know how I am.

569
00:38:22,674 --> 00:38:27,634
My brain just shuts down whenever
I feel like I'm close to getting some.

570
00:38:30,181 --> 00:38:32,843
Anyway, I just-

571
00:38:32,951 --> 00:38:37,547
I hope this doesn't get in the way of us
hooking up and hanging out and stuff-

572
00:38:39,658 --> 00:38:42,627
Because I really like doing that.

573
00:38:44,329 --> 00:38:49,028
I mean, not like we're
exclusive or anything.

574
00:38:49,134 --> 00:38:52,035
By the way, did your answering machine
say "my boyfriend"?

575
00:38:52,137 --> 00:38:54,037
Because-weird.

576
00:38:54,139 --> 00:38:56,198
I mean, we've talked about that.

577
00:38:56,308 --> 00:39:00,210
Um, anyway, I guess
I'm just trying to say...

578
00:39:00,312 --> 00:39:02,371
I forgive you.

579
00:39:02,480 --> 00:39:05,040
I just hope...

580
00:39:05,150 --> 00:39:08,051
you're not gonna be a dick about this.

581
00:39:08,153 --> 00:39:10,121
Okay, bye.

582
00:39:20,298 --> 00:39:23,734
Well, I think I patched
things up with Candace.

583
00:39:23,835 --> 00:39:25,860
Why is your dress all wet?

584
00:39:26,971 --> 00:39:28,871
Give me my clothes.

585
00:39:40,952 --> 00:39:43,113
Really?

586
00:39:43,221 --> 00:39:45,519
That shirt's awesome, man.

587
00:39:48,159 --> 00:39:50,389
<i>I'm getting pretty tired.</i>

588
00:39:50,495 --> 00:39:53,931
<i>- Do you want to get a motel or something?
- No, man, I'm wired.</i>

589
00:39:54,032 --> 00:39:57,229
I ate, like, 10 packets of those Horny Goat
Weed stamina things at the gas station.

590
00:39:57,335 --> 00:39:59,462
You can get some shut-eye though.

591
00:40:00,638 --> 00:40:04,631
All right, just wake me
if you need me, okay?

592
00:40:04,743 --> 00:40:06,870
And, Tucker...

593
00:40:06,978 --> 00:40:10,379
thank you for everything.

594
00:40:10,482 --> 00:40:12,575
No problem, dude.
We're homeys. Lock it up.

595
00:40:12,684 --> 00:40:14,584
<i>Hey! Hey!</i>

596
00:40:14,686 --> 00:40:17,211
<i>- Whoa! Sorry.
- Asshole.!</i>

597
00:40:17,322 --> 00:40:19,552
Just watch the road. Okay?

598
00:40:19,657 --> 00:40:21,625
Will do.

599
00:40:22,827 --> 00:40:24,795
Good night.

600
00:40:38,076 --> 00:40:40,067
<i>Hey, Eugene.</i>

601
00:40:40,178 --> 00:40:42,942
- Want to party?
- Cindi.

602
00:40:43,047 --> 00:40:48,349
<i>I got tired of waiting for you,
Eugene, so I went out and I blew everyone.</i>

603
00:40:48,453 --> 00:40:51,945
- No! Cindi!
- Why did you have to get drunk, Eugene?

604
00:40:52,056 --> 00:40:55,617
- Why couldn't you just make love to me?
- No! I'm sorry!

605
00:40:55,727 --> 00:40:58,457
You've turned me into a whore, Eugene.

606
00:40:58,563 --> 00:41:01,589
This is a venereal disease, Eugene...

607
00:41:01,699 --> 00:41:04,133
and I have thousands of them.

608
00:41:04,235 --> 00:41:06,931
- No!
- I'm just like your brother, Eugene!

609
00:41:07,038 --> 00:41:10,007
Just like your brother!

610
00:41:10,108 --> 00:41:11,939
No!

611
00:41:20,118 --> 00:41:21,881
What state are we in?

612
00:41:23,755 --> 00:41:26,656
<i>- Hey.! Tucker.!
- What?</i>

613
00:41:29,160 --> 00:41:31,060
Sorry about that.

614
00:41:31,162 --> 00:41:35,155
I started drinking all this NyQuil because that
Horny Goat Weed was giving me the jitters.

615
00:41:35,266 --> 00:41:37,996
There's clothes in this bag if you want them.

616
00:41:38,102 --> 00:41:40,662
But I feel good to go now.
We don't need to stay here.

617
00:41:40,772 --> 00:41:44,208
Tucker, you can't drive all night long
without sleep. It's not safe.

618
00:41:44,309 --> 00:41:47,210
I got some sleep in the car. I'm serious.

619
00:41:47,312 --> 00:41:50,213
We could go get our money back
from the motel, jump back in the car...

620
00:41:50,315 --> 00:41:54,081
be in Chicago in a couple hours, and then
by this time tomorrow be at the mansion.

621
00:41:54,185 --> 00:41:56,050
Tucker, it's 4:00 in the morning.

622
00:41:56,154 --> 00:41:58,054
The stupid fucking mansion can wait.

623
00:41:59,157 --> 00:42:01,250
The stupid what-ing mansion?

624
00:42:01,359 --> 00:42:03,259
Oh, God.

625
00:42:03,361 --> 00:42:05,886
That mansion is a historical
and cultural landmark...

626
00:42:05,997 --> 00:42:09,398
<i>where some of the greatest minds
have gathered to exchange ideas and-</i>

627
00:42:09,501 --> 00:42:12,197
And watch naked ladies
take baths together. Yes, I know.

628
00:42:12,303 --> 00:42:15,670
<i>Oh, my God. You don't know.</i>

629
00:42:15,773 --> 00:42:18,867
<i>I need to give you a crash course
in sophistication and the playboy way.</i>

630
00:42:18,977 --> 00:42:21,411
<i>You're gonna give me
a lesson in sophistication?</i>

631
00:42:21,513 --> 00:42:25,574
Yeah. I've had a subscription
to this magazine for, like, 13 years.

632
00:42:25,683 --> 00:42:29,244
God, you're right, Tucker.
Teach me more about etiquette.

633
00:42:29,354 --> 00:42:31,254
Okay.

634
00:42:31,356 --> 00:42:33,221
Here, put this on.

635
00:42:33,324 --> 00:42:35,519
Ow. I don't wanna.

636
00:42:35,627 --> 00:42:37,754
Put it on.

637
00:42:37,862 --> 00:42:42,424
This is a bathrobe. We'll probably be issued
one of these when we get to the mansion.

638
00:42:42,534 --> 00:42:44,729
It's the western equivalent
of the Greek toga.

639
00:42:44,836 --> 00:42:46,736
There's a stain on mine.

640
00:42:46,838 --> 00:42:49,864
It signifies both power and leisure.

641
00:42:49,974 --> 00:42:51,874
<i>Say that with me-</i>

642
00:42:51,976 --> 00:42:54,604
power and leisure.

643
00:42:54,712 --> 00:42:57,738
Say it. Power and leisure.

644
00:42:57,849 --> 00:42:59,407
Power and leisure.

645
00:42:59,517 --> 00:43:01,109
Good. Now, lesson two.

646
00:43:01,219 --> 00:43:04,120
<i>When you get to the mansion
and you see a pretty girl...</i>

647
00:43:04,222 --> 00:43:06,918
you can't just walk up to her
and ask her to have sex with you.

648
00:43:07,025 --> 00:43:09,459
Okay.

649
00:43:09,561 --> 00:43:12,462
You have to engage her in
stimulating conversation first.

650
00:43:12,564 --> 00:43:14,464
Find out who she is.

651
00:43:14,566 --> 00:43:16,864
Ask her questions like
what is her favorite animal...

652
00:43:16,968 --> 00:43:18,936
or what's her most embarrassing moment?

653
00:43:21,239 --> 00:43:23,469
This is a pipe.

654
00:43:23,575 --> 00:43:27,875
Smoking a pipe is the equivalent
of wearing a fine tuxedo.

655
00:43:31,382 --> 00:43:33,145
<i>Tucker!</i>

656
00:43:44,262 --> 00:43:46,890
- This usually never happens.
- Shut up, Tucker.

657
00:43:51,769 --> 00:43:55,762
Uh-oh, dude, here come the firemen.

658
00:44:12,490 --> 00:44:15,254
Uh-oh, dude, here come the firemen.

659
00:44:16,594 --> 00:44:19,654
They know about Candace!

660
00:44:22,066 --> 00:44:24,500
Come on. Get in.

661
00:44:25,770 --> 00:44:28,534
- We must be three states away!
- Firemen talk, dude.

662
00:44:29,841 --> 00:44:32,332
You're a dead man, Tucker Cleigh!

663
00:44:58,936 --> 00:45:00,904
How's that atrophy coming?

664
00:45:06,744 --> 00:45:08,712
Are you still mad?

665
00:45:14,285 --> 00:45:17,686
Hey, do you want to
get something to eat or anything?

666
00:45:17,789 --> 00:45:19,689
Well, how much money do we have?

667
00:45:19,791 --> 00:45:24,854
Because we just spent 75 bucks on a motel
room that we got to use for all of five minutes.

668
00:45:24,962 --> 00:45:28,125
Let's see. I've got... seven dollars.

669
00:45:28,232 --> 00:45:30,928
Do you have any money?

670
00:45:31,035 --> 00:45:33,833
No, I don't have any money.
I don't have a bank account.

671
00:45:33,938 --> 00:45:37,430
I've been in a coma since high school.

672
00:45:37,542 --> 00:45:39,442
Okay. Seven bucks.

673
00:45:39,544 --> 00:45:42,411
Seven bucks should be enough
to feed the both of us.

674
00:45:53,605 --> 00:45:56,733
- Are you mad?
- Yes, I'm mad!

675
00:45:56,841 --> 00:46:00,868
What kind of fuckin' idiot goes on a
cross-country road trip with less than $100?

676
00:46:00,979 --> 00:46:04,176
Well, to be fair, dude,
I had to buy you all those clothes...

677
00:46:04,282 --> 00:46:07,342
and you're the one
that wanted to stay at the motel.

678
00:46:07,452 --> 00:46:10,683
You had to buy clothes for me
because you kidnapped me...

679
00:46:10,789 --> 00:46:14,054
and I wanted the motel
because you almost killed me!

680
00:46:14,159 --> 00:46:17,492
But then wait! You burned down the motel
and almost killed me yet again.

681
00:46:17,595 --> 00:46:22,692
And then you pissed off firemen
and almost got me killed yet another time!

682
00:46:22,801 --> 00:46:26,897
- I think you're overreacting a little bit.
- I am not overreacting!

683
00:46:27,005 --> 00:46:31,169
I am trying to reclaim my life here, Tucker,
and you're not taking this seriously.

684
00:46:31,276 --> 00:46:34,143
This is all some dumb excuse
for you to go to the mansion...

685
00:46:34,245 --> 00:46:38,773
so you can finally rub up on all those strippers
you've been dreaming about your whole life.

686
00:46:41,119 --> 00:46:44,577
Rub up? Strippers?

687
00:46:44,689 --> 00:46:47,123
We talked about this last night...

688
00:46:47,225 --> 00:46:50,319
and I will not allow that sort of filth
or degrading speech...

689
00:46:50,428 --> 00:46:52,328
in my car!

690
00:46:52,430 --> 00:46:54,330
Oh, look! Horsedick.

691
00:47:24,295 --> 00:47:26,855
- Speak.
- Just got a visual confirmation.

692
00:47:26,965 --> 00:47:29,229
They've been spotted
in Chicago.

693
00:48:08,473 --> 00:48:11,408
- You know, these lyrics don't even make any sense.
- What?

694
00:48:11,509 --> 00:48:13,909
Shut up, Eugene.
This song is awesome.

695
00:48:14,012 --> 00:48:17,175
I wish Candace were here.
She would love this song.

696
00:48:17,282 --> 00:48:20,581
Tucker, if Candace were here right now,
she would try and kill you.

697
00:48:20,685 --> 00:48:23,051
Oh, yeah. I forgot.

698
00:48:47,412 --> 00:48:49,312
Respect.

699
00:48:49,414 --> 00:48:52,076
<i>Cut.! That's a wrap.</i>

700
00:48:52,183 --> 00:48:54,743
Great job, Horsedick. MPEG.
Hip-hop is back!

701
00:48:54,852 --> 00:48:56,877
- You think they're gonna get the message though?
- Oh, yeah, yeah.

702
00:48:56,988 --> 00:48:58,888
<i>- Yo, Horsedick.
- Yo, yo, yo.</i>

703
00:48:58,990 --> 00:49:00,924
<i>You know these dudes, man?</i>

704
00:49:01,025 --> 00:49:04,461
Hell, yeah! Tucker Cleigh
from the down S.C.!

705
00:49:04,562 --> 00:49:07,554
What up, brother?

706
00:49:07,665 --> 00:49:11,101
- How you feel, man?
- Great, man. Thanks for letting us visit your shoot.

707
00:49:11,202 --> 00:49:12,726
- Of course. Any time.
- You remember Eugene from prom?

708
00:49:14,489 --> 00:49:17,515
- Oh, the Stairmaster. How you doin', man?
- Good.

709
00:49:17,625 --> 00:49:19,923
<i>I heard you was all
Regarding Henry and shit.</i>

710
00:49:20,027 --> 00:49:23,360
- Yeah, I was in a coma for a while.
- That's cool.

711
00:49:23,464 --> 00:49:25,489
I see you've been doin' really well.
Congratulations.

712
00:49:25,599 --> 00:49:29,729
Thanks, bro. Man, my last CD dropped,
motherfuckers got killed at the Tower Records.

713
00:49:29,837 --> 00:49:33,034
- Motherfuckers got killed!
- Whoa. That's awesome.

714
00:49:33,140 --> 00:49:36,405
Thank God. You know what I'm sayin'?
What brings y'all to Chicago?

715
00:49:36,510 --> 00:49:39,035
- We just came to see you, dog.
- Okay.

716
00:49:39,146 --> 00:49:41,046
Dude.

717
00:49:41,148 --> 00:49:43,742
Oh, and we were wondering if you could
get us into the Playboy Mansion.

718
00:49:47,187 --> 00:49:51,248
Wow, Horsedick. You're very generous with
your time and resources.

719
00:49:51,358 --> 00:49:54,885
Anything for my bro, man.
Come on. Lock it up. Come on. Lock it up.

720
00:49:54,995 --> 00:49:57,520
See? I told you Horsedick
would hook us up.

721
00:49:57,631 --> 00:50:01,965
<i>We're gonna have you back in Cindi's arms
in no time. Then you can finally have sex.</i>

722
00:50:04,171 --> 00:50:06,469
Finally have sex? You a virgin?

723
00:50:11,545 --> 00:50:14,912
Do you mean to tell me
you have never been with a woman?

724
00:50:15,015 --> 00:50:17,108
Never?

725
00:50:17,217 --> 00:50:20,243
I was going to in high school,
but, uh, then I fell down the stairs.

726
00:50:20,354 --> 00:50:22,982
Crystal! Janine!

727
00:50:23,090 --> 00:50:26,491
Get your asses in here
and have sex with this man!

728
00:50:26,593 --> 00:50:29,289
- Oh, no, Horsedick.
- Dot-MPEG.

729
00:50:29,396 --> 00:50:31,728
Dot-MPEG, yes. That's not necessary.

730
00:50:31,832 --> 00:50:34,767
I'm saving myself, uh,
for my girlfriend...

731
00:50:34,868 --> 00:50:36,335
<i>who's gonna be at the party...</i>

732
00:50:36,437 --> 00:50:39,270
<i>so thank you, but I'm gonna wait.</i>

733
00:50:41,742 --> 00:50:44,609
- I'll have sex with those girls.
- Come hook my brother up.

734
00:50:44,712 --> 00:50:46,441
I gotta take a shit.

735
00:50:46,547 --> 00:50:48,811
- You okay with just Crystal?
- Yeah, that's cool.

736
00:50:49,883 --> 00:50:51,976
Come on, baby.

737
00:50:56,256 --> 00:50:59,851
You and me gonna have a long talk.

738
00:50:59,960 --> 00:51:04,158
<i>We gonna smoke this here,
and you gonna tell Uncle Horsedick...</i>

739
00:51:04,264 --> 00:51:06,425
exactly what the problem is.

740
00:51:06,533 --> 00:51:10,299
Thank you again,
Horsedick. MPEG, but I don't smoke.

741
00:51:10,404 --> 00:51:11,996
Look here, man.

742
00:51:12,106 --> 00:51:14,734
This is a party bus.

743
00:51:14,842 --> 00:51:18,539
There's only one rule on a party bus-
You got to party.

744
00:51:18,645 --> 00:51:22,274
So you're either gonna fuck
one of them girls, or you smoke this "J."

745
00:51:22,383 --> 00:51:25,477
<i>We out of toilet paper.!</i>

746
00:51:52,346 --> 00:51:54,576
I gotta warn you,
I'm a little drunk, so...

747
00:51:54,681 --> 00:51:56,649
this could take two or three minutes.

748
00:52:08,962 --> 00:52:13,296
I don't understand it. I mean, how much
can a person change in four years?

749
00:52:13,400 --> 00:52:15,368
It's, like, I knew her.

750
00:52:15,469 --> 00:52:18,233
<i>You know, like, I really knew her.</i>

751
00:52:18,338 --> 00:52:23,241
Then you wake up,
and she's a completely different person.

752
00:52:25,779 --> 00:52:28,213
This bitch one time...

753
00:52:28,315 --> 00:52:31,341
tore my heart out, man, for reals, yo.

754
00:52:31,452 --> 00:52:34,182
- Oh, Horsedick.
- Dot-MPEG.

755
00:52:34,288 --> 00:52:36,188
Dot-MPEG.

756
00:52:37,891 --> 00:52:41,793
You know, I think
I'm startin' to feel high.

757
00:52:43,430 --> 00:52:46,888
I don't even know where I am.

758
00:52:47,000 --> 00:52:49,127
What was we talking about?

759
00:52:51,705 --> 00:52:55,232
- You like this?
- Uh- Uh-huh.

760
00:52:59,513 --> 00:53:01,447
You want this?

761
00:53:01,548 --> 00:53:04,039
Uh, yeah. Yeah.

762
00:53:04,151 --> 00:53:08,053
Then come and get it.

763
00:53:13,861 --> 00:53:17,228
<i>Goddamn.! Hey, Charlie.!
Control this motherfuckin'bus.!</i>

764
00:53:20,934 --> 00:53:22,959
Crazy-ass bus driver.

765
00:53:43,190 --> 00:53:45,522
She said the most...

766
00:53:47,961 --> 00:53:50,657
<i>mean, hurtful things...</i>

767
00:53:50,764 --> 00:53:52,664
<i>to people...</i>

768
00:53:54,234 --> 00:53:56,634
<i>and they laughed at me.</i>

769
00:53:56,737 --> 00:53:58,967
And it was-

770
00:53:59,072 --> 00:54:02,166
So that's why, you know, I'm a dog now.

771
00:54:02,276 --> 00:54:04,005
<i>Cut through bitches like water.</i>

772
00:54:04,111 --> 00:54:07,103
No emotional attachment.
Ain't that right, Tuck?

773
00:54:07,214 --> 00:54:09,876
- Huh? What?
- How was it back there, man?

774
00:54:09,983 --> 00:54:13,578
Good. Real- Really good.

775
00:54:14,888 --> 00:54:18,221
- I gotta go to bed.
- Ha! Ha-ha-ha!

776
00:54:18,325 --> 00:54:21,055
He's tired! That's what I'm talkin' about!

777
00:54:30,085 --> 00:54:32,986
When you give something to a bitch...

778
00:54:33,088 --> 00:54:35,056
they don't do nothin' but take.

779
00:54:36,391 --> 00:54:39,622
<i>That's why I don't give 'em
nothin'but the dick.</i>

780
00:54:41,529 --> 00:54:43,963
'Cause they can't take that away.

781
00:54:46,167 --> 00:54:49,068
You'll see tomorrow at the mansion.

782
00:54:49,170 --> 00:54:53,504
We'll run a train on, like,
seven, eight, nine, 11 of them honeys!

783
00:54:53,608 --> 00:54:55,576
Ain't a Playmate there I ain't tagged yet.

784
00:54:55,677 --> 00:54:57,838
Wait a minute. What?

785
00:54:57,946 --> 00:54:59,937
All of them, dog.

786
00:55:00,048 --> 00:55:02,915
Okay. Horsedick,
you couldn't have "hit" all of them.

787
00:55:03,017 --> 00:55:06,418
- I mean, that's crazy.
- Miss January on my dick.

788
00:55:06,521 --> 00:55:09,081
Miss February on my dick.

789
00:55:09,190 --> 00:55:11,590
- Miss March?
- On my dick, dog!

790
00:55:11,693 --> 00:55:13,661
Cindi Whitehall.
Have you had sex with her?

791
00:55:13,762 --> 00:55:16,754
Man, I had that bitch
screamin' like her house was on fire.

792
00:55:16,865 --> 00:55:19,857
She was chompin' down on my dick
like it was a hot-dog eating contest...

793
00:55:19,968 --> 00:55:21,936
and she was some little Asian dude.

794
00:55:30,378 --> 00:55:32,278
What the fuck?

795
00:55:39,354 --> 00:55:41,788
Get the fuck back here, you pervert!

796
00:55:41,890 --> 00:55:44,358
I hope you get V.D.
And your dick falls off!

797
00:55:44,459 --> 00:55:47,917
Cindi would never sleep with you!

798
00:55:49,497 --> 00:55:52,193
Oh, fuck.

799
00:55:53,334 --> 00:55:55,234
You all right, man?

800
00:55:55,336 --> 00:55:57,463
She slept with him.

801
00:55:57,572 --> 00:56:01,099
She slept with a shallow,
ignorant asshole like that!

802
00:56:04,779 --> 00:56:06,747
How could she do that?

803
00:56:08,449 --> 00:56:12,180
I don't even know what I'm doing out here,
Tucker. She's gone!

804
00:56:12,287 --> 00:56:17,020
She's not gone, man.
She just had sex with a guy.

805
00:56:17,125 --> 00:56:19,093
She's still Cindi.

806
00:56:19,194 --> 00:56:21,662
But we had something special.

807
00:56:24,499 --> 00:56:26,490
You wouldn't understand, Tucker.

808
00:56:26,601 --> 00:56:28,569
Come on, man.

809
00:56:29,838 --> 00:56:32,033
We got a long way to walk.

810
00:56:40,582 --> 00:56:43,415
<i>Man, I wish Candace were here.</i>

811
00:56:43,518 --> 00:56:46,385
Really? Again?

812
00:56:46,487 --> 00:56:48,455
She's trying to kill you.

813
00:56:48,556 --> 00:56:52,014
Yeah. She has a car though.

814
00:56:52,126 --> 00:56:54,720
We have 12 hours
to get across two states.

815
00:56:56,030 --> 00:56:59,989
Hey!

816
00:57:00,101 --> 00:57:02,365
People are assholes.

817
00:57:02,470 --> 00:57:06,065
Someone will stop.
Don't worry, dude. Things work out.

818
00:57:06,174 --> 00:57:08,642
No, they don't. Things do not work out.

819
00:57:08,743 --> 00:57:12,702
I am living proof of that.

820
00:57:12,814 --> 00:57:17,080
Are you boys looking for a ride?

821
00:57:17,185 --> 00:57:21,884
Here is the deal.
I am Katja. This is my girlfriend, Vonka.

822
00:57:21,990 --> 00:57:24,550
Your... girlfriend?

823
00:57:24,659 --> 00:57:27,992
Yes. We're lesbians. Does that bother you?

824
00:57:29,163 --> 00:57:30,630
No. No. No.

825
00:57:30,732 --> 00:57:34,168
We're driving to Los Angeles,
but we are just so madly in love...

826
00:57:34,269 --> 00:57:36,737
that we can't keep our hands
off each other.

827
00:57:36,838 --> 00:57:39,636
We have to make out
and make love all the time.

828
00:57:39,741 --> 00:57:42,107
- Oh.
- Oh.

829
00:57:42,210 --> 00:57:44,804
So we need you boys
to drive the car to Los Angeles...

830
00:57:44,913 --> 00:57:46,904
so we can get crazy in the backseat...

831
00:57:47,015 --> 00:57:50,917
and make love and suck
and fuck each other the whole way.

832
00:57:51,019 --> 00:57:52,953
Can you boys do that?

833
00:57:54,923 --> 00:57:58,154
Yeah. Yeah. We-We can do that.

834
00:58:11,906 --> 00:58:14,534
Katja.

835
00:58:14,642 --> 00:58:18,009
Oh. Right there. Katja!

836
00:58:33,795 --> 00:58:37,663
Whoa! Aah!

837
00:58:41,435 --> 00:58:46,304
- Is there going to be a problem?
- No. No.

838
00:58:46,406 --> 00:58:49,534
You almost make me bite Vonka's labia.

839
00:58:49,643 --> 00:58:51,611
Oh, sweet God.

840
00:59:15,102 --> 00:59:18,094
Thirty miles to Los Angeles.
We're almost there.

841
00:59:23,110 --> 00:59:26,546
Is this going to happen
every five minutes?

842
00:59:26,646 --> 00:59:29,444
No. No. I got it. I got it.

843
00:59:34,755 --> 00:59:36,985
Ain't seen shit in here.

844
00:59:39,292 --> 00:59:42,853
Speak.

845
00:59:42,963 --> 00:59:45,989
One of our trucks saw them
heading into Los Angeles.

846
00:59:46,099 --> 00:59:48,932
Los Angeles. Of course.

847
00:59:49,035 --> 00:59:51,526
Yeah, but the trail goes cold after that.

848
00:59:51,638 --> 00:59:53,606
No, it doesn't.

849
00:59:53,707 --> 00:59:57,609
You tell your men I know
exactly where he's going.

850
01:00:07,788 --> 01:00:10,951
Look, lesbians! Palm trees.

851
01:00:11,057 --> 01:00:14,493
You know, lesbians,
I didn't want to say anything before...

852
01:00:14,594 --> 01:00:17,586
but the car is really starting to smell.

853
01:00:18,598 --> 01:00:22,125
So we have an hour till this thing starts.
You know where the mansion is?

854
01:00:22,235 --> 01:00:27,298
10228 Charring Cross Road,
Los Angeles, California, 90024.

855
01:00:28,542 --> 01:00:30,510
<i>What's up, boys and girls?
I'm Carrie Keagan...</i>

856
01:00:30,610 --> 01:00:34,137
<i>and we're at playboy's
annual anniversary bash.</i>

857
01:00:35,816 --> 01:00:39,343
<i>I heard Horsedick. MpEG
is actually in the mansion right now.</i>

858
01:00:40,720 --> 01:00:44,850
Wow. I can't believe we made it.

859
01:00:44,958 --> 01:00:47,688
My God. We're 20 minutes late.
They've already started the party.

860
01:00:49,663 --> 01:00:51,654
Look. I think right there
is where you sign in.

861
01:00:53,366 --> 01:00:55,357
Oh, no. You have to be on that list.

862
01:00:55,469 --> 01:00:59,098
Oh, man. We are way out of our league.
How the hell are we gonna get in here?

863
01:00:59,206 --> 01:01:01,800
We need some sort of angle.

864
01:01:01,908 --> 01:01:06,208
Oh, God!

865
01:01:12,752 --> 01:01:15,846
Hey there, everybody.
We are here to party.

866
01:01:15,956 --> 01:01:20,256
- Just here with our dates now.
- Yeah. Not bad, huh?

867
01:01:20,360 --> 01:01:23,386
Pretty good. Hey, those
are our dates. Hey, lesbians!

868
01:01:23,497 --> 01:01:26,728
<i>- Those are our-
- Ow!</i>

869
01:01:26,833 --> 01:01:29,700
- Whoo!
- Wow. Ow! Ow!

870
01:01:29,803 --> 01:01:33,330
That didn't work. Now what do we do?

871
01:01:33,440 --> 01:01:35,465
Firemen!

872
01:01:36,710 --> 01:01:38,610
It's a trap.

873
01:01:42,816 --> 01:01:45,512
Wait a minute. What the hell's going on?
There's no fire here.

874
01:01:45,619 --> 01:01:48,918
Sure there is. All right, men.
Keep your eyes peeled.

875
01:01:49,022 --> 01:01:51,149
He's around here somewhere.

876
01:01:54,027 --> 01:01:57,258
<i>Cover the rear, gentlemen. Come on.!
Let's move.! Let's move, let's move.!</i>

877
01:01:57,364 --> 01:01:59,559
Go on, move, move!

878
01:01:59,666 --> 01:02:01,793
Eugene.

879
01:02:01,902 --> 01:02:04,700
- I think I have a plan.
- What?

880
01:02:04,804 --> 01:02:07,466
- Follow me.
- No, Tucker. Wait!

881
01:02:09,309 --> 01:02:11,209
I'm afraid.

882
01:02:12,579 --> 01:02:14,479
Sorry about this, fellas.

883
01:02:14,581 --> 01:02:17,641
We're just dumb firemen
trying to do our jobs.

884
01:02:45,579 --> 01:02:50,539
All right, boys! Keep your eyes peeled
for that son of a bitch Tucker Cleigh!

885
01:02:50,650 --> 01:02:53,118
We have word he's at this party!

886
01:02:59,626 --> 01:03:02,561
Uh-uh. You gotta go to
the back of the line, lady.

887
01:03:02,662 --> 01:03:06,996
Yeah, have fun at the party. Let her in! Let her in.

888
01:03:08,969 --> 01:03:11,904
Damn. Bitch is crazy.

889
01:03:14,407 --> 01:03:16,375
Okay. First things first.

890
01:03:16,476 --> 01:03:18,808
Gotta get rid of these outfits
and get poolside.

891
01:03:18,912 --> 01:03:21,904
What? Tucker, you can't ditch your outfit.
What if the firemen see you?

892
01:03:22,015 --> 01:03:25,974
I can't work like this. Firemen
never get laid. Everyone knows that.

893
01:03:26,086 --> 01:03:29,578
- People hate firemen.
- What are you gonna do?

894
01:03:29,689 --> 01:03:32,556
I'm gonna go mingle.
There's three girls for every guy at this party.

895
01:03:32,659 --> 01:03:35,856
Okay. Fine. Do me a favor and keep
your eyes peeled for Cindi, all right?

896
01:03:35,962 --> 01:03:38,362
Okay. Good luck.

897
01:03:46,606 --> 01:03:49,336
Hey, ladies.

898
01:03:49,442 --> 01:03:52,275
I'm from South Carolina.

899
01:04:02,555 --> 01:04:06,355
Hey, gorgeous.
So-What are your hobbies?

900
01:04:06,459 --> 01:04:08,723
- My hobbies?
- Yeah. You know-

901
01:04:08,828 --> 01:04:10,955
What are your turn-ons?

902
01:04:11,064 --> 01:04:12,861
Shit. Where's my pepper spray?

903
01:04:16,469 --> 01:04:18,369
Ugh.

904
01:04:26,546 --> 01:04:28,514
Hey, girl of my dreams.

905
01:04:28,615 --> 01:04:30,583
Ugh!

906
01:04:33,486 --> 01:04:37,388
Hey! All right. MI LF.

907
01:04:37,490 --> 01:04:40,118
- I'm 25.
- Really?

908
01:04:40,226 --> 01:04:42,524
Fuck off.

909
01:04:51,504 --> 01:04:54,598
Sara Jean Underwood...

910
01:04:54,708 --> 01:04:56,938
<i>playmate of the Year, 2007?</i>

911
01:04:57,043 --> 01:05:01,275
- That's me.
- Oh, my God! It's such an honor to meet you!

912
01:05:01,381 --> 01:05:03,611
- Aw. Why, thank you.
- I'm Tucker Cleigh.

913
01:05:03,717 --> 01:05:05,617
And who is this little guy?

914
01:05:05,719 --> 01:05:09,655
Oh, this is Puddles, and he's a rescue.
I got him from the pound last week.

915
01:05:09,756 --> 01:05:11,519
Oh, no way.
I call the pound all the time.

916
01:05:11,624 --> 01:05:14,252
- You do?
- Yeah. Last week even.

917
01:05:14,360 --> 01:05:17,124
Some loser lost his jerk Labrador...

918
01:05:17,230 --> 01:05:19,357
'cause I caught him going
through my trash looking for food.

919
01:05:19,466 --> 01:05:23,197
And you sent this
"jerk Labrador" to the pound?

920
01:05:23,303 --> 01:05:25,362
- Big time.
- That's horrible.

921
01:05:25,472 --> 01:05:28,464
No. I know. I mean, what? Why?

922
01:05:28,575 --> 01:05:31,203
Because they put dogs
to sleep at the pound.

923
01:05:31,311 --> 01:05:35,213
They were gonna put Puddles here down
'cause he was sick and nobody would adopt him.

924
01:05:35,315 --> 01:05:38,182
So I took him home with me and I've
slowly been nursing him back to health.

925
01:05:38,284 --> 01:05:40,980
Whoa. That's so weird.

926
01:05:41,087 --> 01:05:43,282
It is?

927
01:05:43,389 --> 01:05:46,153
I mean, I just- I didn't realize
that human beings...

928
01:05:46,259 --> 01:05:48,159
could nurse dogs.

929
01:05:50,330 --> 01:05:52,821
I'm not literally nursing him.

930
01:05:52,932 --> 01:05:55,958
Oh! I thought you meant with your-

931
01:05:56,069 --> 01:06:00,802
I'm sorry. I was-
I was thinking about... your boobs.

932
01:06:00,907 --> 01:06:05,276
<i>- I mean, because that sort of
stuff does happen nowadays...</i>

933
01:06:05,378 --> 01:06:07,312
especially with modern times.

934
01:06:07,413 --> 01:06:10,576
And I've seen that
on the Internet a bunch.

935
01:06:10,683 --> 01:06:12,776
You've seen a lot of that
on the Internet?

936
01:06:12,886 --> 01:06:14,877
Yeah, I mean-

937
01:06:14,988 --> 01:06:19,857
Some girls will even have s-
make love to dogs on the Internet.

938
01:06:19,959 --> 01:06:23,486
Not that that's good at all,
'cause that's bad-

939
01:06:23,596 --> 01:06:27,430
Unless you do that, and then,
whatever. I'm not judging.

940
01:06:27,534 --> 01:06:30,697
I'm sorry, Tucker.
Who is it that you're here with again?

941
01:06:30,804 --> 01:06:33,932
L- I'm sorry. I have such
a problem with rambling...

942
01:06:34,040 --> 01:06:36,600
especially when I'm
meeting people like you.

943
01:06:36,709 --> 01:06:39,735
<i>I'm always blowing first impressions.</i>

944
01:06:39,846 --> 01:06:42,212
Can we just start over?
Give me another chance.

945
01:06:42,315 --> 01:06:44,215
Can I get you a drink or anything?

946
01:06:44,317 --> 01:06:46,911
That's sweet, Tucker, but I actually
have to take Puddles out to the lawn.

947
01:06:47,020 --> 01:06:49,784
- He has to go to the bathroom pretty badly.
- I'll take him to the bathroom!

948
01:06:49,889 --> 01:06:51,652
No, that's really not necessary.

949
01:06:51,758 --> 01:06:53,726
I insist. It's the least I can do.

950
01:06:53,827 --> 01:06:57,058
<i>- please?
- Okay.</i>

951
01:06:57,163 --> 01:06:59,393
<i>Okay, Tucker. You win.</i>

952
01:06:59,499 --> 01:07:02,832
You won't regret this,
Playmate of the Year, 2007!

953
01:07:02,936 --> 01:07:04,904
Bring him right back!

954
01:07:07,106 --> 01:07:12,669
<i>Oh, my God.!
That is the cutest little dog I've ever seen.!</i>

955
01:07:12,779 --> 01:07:14,644
- Is it yours?
- Um-

956
01:07:14,747 --> 01:07:17,045
- What is his name?
- I think it's, uh-

957
01:07:17,150 --> 01:07:20,142
Oh, my God! Look at his little feet!

958
01:07:20,253 --> 01:07:22,153
I love men with dogs.

959
01:07:22,255 --> 01:07:23,847
- Really?
- Yeah.

960
01:07:23,957 --> 01:07:26,585
My last boyfriend hated dogs.
Such an asshole!

961
01:07:26,693 --> 01:07:29,491
I mean, what kind of psycho doesn't like dogs?

962
01:07:29,596 --> 01:07:32,030
<i>And that's just when I knew
that he was not for me.</i>

963
01:07:32,131 --> 01:07:34,565
I mean, look at his little paws!

964
01:07:34,667 --> 01:07:37,932
- Yeah, they're pretty small.
- I know, right?

965
01:07:38,037 --> 01:07:40,528
Oh. Oh, uh-

966
01:07:40,640 --> 01:07:43,905
Mmm. What?

967
01:07:45,245 --> 01:07:49,511
- Nothing.
- I just want to talk to you all night.

968
01:07:49,616 --> 01:07:52,449
Can you get me, like, another drink?

969
01:07:53,720 --> 01:07:56,917
Wow! You're good!

970
01:08:00,059 --> 01:08:01,959
This tastes like shit!

971
01:08:02,061 --> 01:08:04,461
<i>I mean, the other one
tasted different, you know.</i>

972
01:08:04,564 --> 01:08:08,022
- It tasted like- I don't know-
- Pee?

973
01:08:08,134 --> 01:08:11,297
No! You're funny.

974
01:08:11,404 --> 01:08:15,238
<i>Okay. Here's the plan.
I'm gonna go use the little girls'room.</i>

975
01:08:15,341 --> 01:08:17,707
You're gonna go find me
some more of the good stuff.

976
01:08:17,810 --> 01:08:20,904
<i>And then we're gonna rendezvous
back here in, like, five minutes, okay?</i>

977
01:08:21,014 --> 01:08:23,574
And make sure you bring him!

978
01:08:23,683 --> 01:08:26,049
Okay. Bye.

979
01:08:33,092 --> 01:08:34,992
<i>...cute T-shirt.</i>

980
01:08:35,094 --> 01:08:37,062
<i>I'm, like, that's cool.
Whatever. Make a wish.</i>

981
01:08:37,163 --> 01:08:40,257
Then this little motherfucker...

982
01:08:40,366 --> 01:08:43,733
<i>hits me... and poops all over my bus.</i>

983
01:08:43,836 --> 01:08:45,497
Man, I hate poop.

984
01:08:45,605 --> 01:08:48,665
I'm hopin' those little shits
do make it over here.

985
01:08:48,775 --> 01:08:52,643
<i>Gonna kill that little bitch.
He's gonna suck my dick.</i>

986
01:08:52,745 --> 01:08:55,646
I'm-a just gonna hold
his little dead head right there.

987
01:08:55,748 --> 01:08:57,648
That's what's up, man.

988
01:08:58,885 --> 01:09:00,978
<i>That's what's up.</i>

989
01:09:04,524 --> 01:09:07,823
Come on, Puddles. Come on.
Come on, Puddles. Come on.

990
01:09:07,927 --> 01:09:10,555
What's the matter? Here we go. Here we go.

991
01:09:10,663 --> 01:09:13,257
Here we go. Here we go. Put it over that and go.

992
01:09:13,366 --> 01:09:15,493
Puddles, go to the bathroom.

993
01:09:15,601 --> 01:09:18,069
What's the matter?

994
01:09:18,171 --> 01:09:20,162
Maybe you're empty.

995
01:09:20,273 --> 01:09:24,107
Um- No. Here we go. A little beer?

996
01:09:24,210 --> 01:09:26,508
Little beer. Little bit of beer.

997
01:09:26,612 --> 01:09:30,104
- Little bit of-
- Oh, my God!

998
01:09:30,216 --> 01:09:33,652
<i>Oh, my God.! Puddles.!</i>

999
01:09:35,722 --> 01:09:37,849
What the shit?

1000
01:09:37,957 --> 01:09:40,926
- Oh! Sorry.
- Hi. May I help you?

1001
01:09:41,027 --> 01:09:43,154
Um, no. No, thank you.

1002
01:09:43,262 --> 01:09:47,130
Actually, yeah. Have you seen
Cindi Whitehall around here?

1003
01:09:47,233 --> 01:09:50,031
Oh, my God. Are you a stalker?

1004
01:09:50,136 --> 01:09:52,900
- We have a 2-14!
- What? I'm not a stalker.

1005
01:09:53,006 --> 01:09:55,873
Oh, good. What are you drinkin'?

1006
01:09:55,975 --> 01:09:58,307
Nothing. Never mind.

1007
01:09:59,612 --> 01:10:02,581
<i>So we're goin'at it
there in the driveway, and she's, like...</i>

1008
01:10:02,682 --> 01:10:07,244
"Oh, my God, this is the best
sex I have ever had. "

1009
01:10:07,353 --> 01:10:11,722
And I'm, like,
"Everyone keeps telling me that. "

1010
01:10:13,126 --> 01:10:15,026
<i>Isn't that weird?</i>

1011
01:10:15,128 --> 01:10:17,028
Isn't-

1012
01:10:41,854 --> 01:10:44,288
The Grotto.

1013
01:10:48,227 --> 01:10:50,195
Um, excuse me, sir.
I'm looking for Cindi Whitehall.

1014
01:10:53,281 --> 01:10:56,148
- What you want with Cindi Whitehall?
- Oh, I'm her boyfriend.

1015
01:10:56,250 --> 01:10:59,515
- Or I was her boyfriend, but then
we got separated. - We got a 2-14.

1016
01:10:59,620 --> 01:11:01,884
No, no, no. I'm not a stalker.
Ow! I'm not a stalker!

1017
01:11:01,989 --> 01:11:04,389
I came across the country
just to see her!

1018
01:11:04,492 --> 01:11:06,153
Hey, I-

1019
01:11:14,402 --> 01:11:16,836
Cindi. Cindi!

1020
01:11:18,106 --> 01:11:20,904
No, Cindi! I'm her boyfriend
from high school!

1021
01:11:21,008 --> 01:11:24,136
- Eugene?
- We were sweethearts in high school!

1022
01:11:24,245 --> 01:11:27,339
<i>- Cindi.!
- Eugene?</i>

1023
01:11:27,448 --> 01:11:30,713
<i>Oh.! Candace.!</i>

1024
01:11:30,818 --> 01:11:32,786
Good to see you.

1025
01:11:32,887 --> 01:11:35,321
I was worried sick.

1026
01:11:35,423 --> 01:11:38,551
<i>Uh, how are you?</i>

1027
01:11:38,659 --> 01:11:40,854
Your face looks-

1028
01:11:43,030 --> 01:11:45,897
Comin' along.

1029
01:11:46,000 --> 01:11:49,026
By the way, sorry about that.

1030
01:11:49,137 --> 01:11:52,072
Did I ever tell you that,
'cause I'm not sure-

1031
01:11:52,173 --> 01:11:56,371
- You get back here, Tucker Cleigh!
- There he is! Everybody move!

1032
01:11:56,477 --> 01:11:59,002
Ow! Let me go! Ow!

1033
01:11:59,113 --> 01:12:01,741
- Ow!
- You're gonna sit your ass here till the police show up!

1034
01:12:01,849 --> 01:12:05,842
I need to talk to Cindi!
I'm not a stalker! I know her!

1035
01:12:08,856 --> 01:12:10,824
Quick! To the second floor!

1036
01:12:10,925 --> 01:12:12,893
<i>Fan out.!</i>

1037
01:12:17,832 --> 01:12:20,699
<i>- Check on this floor.!
- Yes, sir.!</i>

1038
01:12:22,170 --> 01:12:24,468
<i>Come on, boys. He went that way.</i>

1039
01:12:28,409 --> 01:12:31,242
Lesbians! Help me break this door down.

1040
01:12:31,345 --> 01:12:33,245
Where are the bedrooms?

1041
01:12:33,347 --> 01:12:36,976
Vonka and I thought of a new position,
and we need a bed against a wall.

1042
01:12:37,084 --> 01:12:39,416
There's bedrooms through this door!
And Jacuzzis too.

1043
01:12:39,520 --> 01:12:42,114
- There are?
- Jacuzzis?

1044
01:12:42,223 --> 01:12:46,284
- Yeah. But it's locked. You gotta help me.
- Step aside.

1045
01:13:11,285 --> 01:13:14,948
<i>- Okay. Come on. Go, go, go, go, go!
- There he is.! Get him.!</i>

1046
01:13:20,528 --> 01:13:23,190
Good idea, lesbians!

1047
01:13:23,297 --> 01:13:26,266
Lesbians! Lesbians!

1048
01:13:38,980 --> 01:13:42,279
What seems to be the problem, son?

1049
01:13:42,383 --> 01:13:44,851
Oh, my God! Oh, my God!

1050
01:13:44,952 --> 01:13:48,012
<i>I can't look. I can't look.
I can't look, I can't look.</i>

1051
01:13:48,122 --> 01:13:52,024
- Oh! Oh! I can't- Oh, my God!
- Relax, son. What's your name?

1052
01:13:52,126 --> 01:13:55,095
Oh! Tucker Cleigh, sir.

1053
01:13:55,196 --> 01:13:57,824
And I am your biggest fan.

1054
01:13:57,932 --> 01:14:02,369
<i>I try to apply your methods and principles
to every aspect of my life.</i>

1055
01:14:02,470 --> 01:14:05,303
<i>Oh, yeah? How's that workin'out for you?</i>

1056
01:14:05,406 --> 01:14:09,502
<i>- Good.! Great. Awesome.
- Well, that's great.</i>

1057
01:14:09,610 --> 01:14:13,068
The party's outside. Have a good time.

1058
01:14:18,419 --> 01:14:20,717
Something wrong?

1059
01:14:23,557 --> 01:14:27,118
Well, yeah, actually.

1060
01:14:28,963 --> 01:14:33,366
Things haven't been going
so great for me lately.

1061
01:14:33,467 --> 01:14:36,868
<i>I mean, I'm here at the playboy Mansion...</i>

1062
01:14:36,971 --> 01:14:41,431
and-
I'm still striking out.

1063
01:14:41,542 --> 01:14:43,442
I don't get it.

1064
01:14:45,146 --> 01:14:47,046
Have a seat, son.

1065
01:14:50,885 --> 01:14:52,785
Eugene?

1066
01:14:52,887 --> 01:14:54,548
Cindi.

1067
01:14:54,655 --> 01:14:57,180
Oh, my God! I can't believe this!

1068
01:14:57,291 --> 01:15:01,387
- When did you wake up?
- About three days ago.

1069
01:15:01,495 --> 01:15:05,261
- How did you find me?
- It wasn't too hard.

1070
01:15:05,366 --> 01:15:08,426
- What does that mean?
- Where have you been?

1071
01:15:08,536 --> 01:15:10,436
What?

1072
01:15:10,538 --> 01:15:13,803
- Where have you been?
- I've been a couple of places.

1073
01:15:13,908 --> 01:15:15,808
- Been working.
- Working?

1074
01:15:15,910 --> 01:15:19,038
Working as what? A whore?

1075
01:15:20,081 --> 01:15:22,379
- Stop that! I know him.
- Ow!

1076
01:15:22,483 --> 01:15:27,113
Sorry, miss. It just really sticks in my craw
when people disrespect women.

1077
01:15:27,221 --> 01:15:29,086
What?

1078
01:15:29,190 --> 01:15:32,057
Eugene, how could you say
something like that?

1079
01:15:32,159 --> 01:15:33,990
- You left me!
- Eugene, I-

1080
01:15:34,095 --> 01:15:36,655
You left me in a hospital bed
when I needed you the most.

1081
01:15:36,764 --> 01:15:38,959
Eugene, you were in a coma for four years.

1082
01:15:39,066 --> 01:15:42,866
Yeah! I was in a coma, and you've been
running around doing God knows what.

1083
01:15:42,970 --> 01:15:45,734
- What are you talking about?
- You're doing pornography.

1084
01:15:45,840 --> 01:15:48,638
You're posing naked for everyone to see.

1085
01:15:48,743 --> 01:15:51,974
- Eugene.
- How many guys have you slept with, Cindi?

1086
01:15:52,079 --> 01:15:54,377
100? 200?

1087
01:15:56,350 --> 01:15:59,251
Ow! Ah.

1088
01:15:59,353 --> 01:16:03,653
Just imagine how you would feel, Cindi...

1089
01:16:03,758 --> 01:16:06,192
if you woke up one morning...

1090
01:16:06,293 --> 01:16:09,421
and everyone that you loved
had left you...

1091
01:16:09,530 --> 01:16:11,259
and your dad had bailed on you...

1092
01:16:11,365 --> 01:16:14,994
and the one person that you thought
would always be there for you...

1093
01:16:15,102 --> 01:16:17,627
is out flashing her tits to the world...

1094
01:16:17,738 --> 01:16:21,299
and blowing everyone she meets. Ow!

1095
01:16:21,509 --> 01:16:23,340
So, you-you have a girlfriend.

1096
01:16:23,444 --> 01:16:27,744
Yeah, and she's great.
She's the coolest chick I've ever met.

1097
01:16:27,848 --> 01:16:30,544
Most girls want to kill me
after two or three nights...

1098
01:16:30,651 --> 01:16:32,983
and it took her 13 whole months.

1099
01:16:33,087 --> 01:16:35,885
Then what's the problem?
Sounds like you found a great girl.

1100
01:16:35,990 --> 01:16:38,618
She is great. It's just-

1101
01:16:38,726 --> 01:16:42,787
I can't get settled down yet.
I have to hit a respectable quota.

1102
01:16:42,897 --> 01:16:46,856
Tucker, it's the quality,
not the quantity...

1103
01:16:46,967 --> 01:16:49,800
of the relationships that counts.

1104
01:16:49,904 --> 01:16:52,896
But you're dating seven women at once.

1105
01:16:55,910 --> 01:16:58,879
Here. Look at this.

1106
01:17:00,081 --> 01:17:03,073
Oh! Gross!

1107
01:17:03,184 --> 01:17:06,347
- That's Gertrude VonBrauer.
- What's wrong with her eye?

1108
01:17:06,454 --> 01:17:08,251
- It's dead.
- Aah!

1109
01:17:08,355 --> 01:17:10,983
Gertrude was my next door neighbor.

1110
01:17:11,092 --> 01:17:14,926
Our childhood friendship
blossomed into a romance by high school.

1111
01:17:15,029 --> 01:17:16,656
Hef, no!

1112
01:17:16,764 --> 01:17:18,664
Tucker, yes.

1113
01:17:18,766 --> 01:17:21,826
Gertrude VonBrauer
was the love of my life.

1114
01:17:21,936 --> 01:17:24,632
But she's, like...

1115
01:17:24,738 --> 01:17:28,765
the worst-looking person I have ever seen.

1116
01:17:28,876 --> 01:17:31,106
Give me back that photograph.

1117
01:17:37,618 --> 01:17:40,018
Gertrude died when she was 18 years old.

1118
01:17:40,121 --> 01:17:42,282
Oh, thank God.

1119
01:17:44,391 --> 01:17:46,450
Tucker, the point I'm trying to make...

1120
01:17:46,560 --> 01:17:49,154
is that when you find
that special someone in your life...

1121
01:17:49,263 --> 01:17:51,197
you have to hold on to them.

1122
01:17:51,298 --> 01:17:54,893
<i>Now, I've known
quite a few women in my life...</i>

1123
01:17:55,002 --> 01:17:57,937
and I've had a phenomenal sex life.

1124
01:17:58,038 --> 01:18:01,166
But I'd trade it all in
for just one more afternoon...

1125
01:18:01,275 --> 01:18:04,802
with this young 18-year-old girl
from Milford, Kentucky.

1126
01:18:04,912 --> 01:18:06,777
Who's busted.

1127
01:18:06,881 --> 01:18:10,339
Tucker, there's a bunny...

1128
01:18:10,451 --> 01:18:13,249
deep down inside each and every woman.

1129
01:18:14,855 --> 01:18:18,256
They're just not bunnies
you'd put in your magazine.

1130
01:18:18,359 --> 01:18:20,259
No, they're not.

1131
01:18:20,361 --> 01:18:23,159
But if you can see
the bunny in those girls...

1132
01:18:23,264 --> 01:18:26,028
then you're on to something, my friend.

1133
01:18:27,701 --> 01:18:29,726
I think I get it.

1134
01:18:29,837 --> 01:18:34,797
<i>I was trying to turn my girlfriend
into a playboy bunny...</i>

1135
01:18:34,909 --> 01:18:36,877
and that's why she had that seizure...

1136
01:18:36,977 --> 01:18:39,502
and I stabbed her in the face a bunch.

1137
01:18:39,613 --> 01:18:42,741
<i>But if I just realized she was a bunny...</i>

1138
01:18:42,850 --> 01:18:46,445
then none of these firemen
would be trying to kill me.

1139
01:18:47,955 --> 01:18:51,015
I gotta be honest with you.
I'm gonna call Security.

1140
01:18:51,125 --> 01:18:53,355
Okay, Mr. Hefner. Thanks for the talk.

1141
01:18:53,460 --> 01:18:56,588
No problem, son.

1142
01:18:56,830 --> 01:18:59,492
Look, I've said what I have to say.

1143
01:18:59,600 --> 01:19:01,898
There's nothing else to do.

1144
01:19:02,002 --> 01:19:05,631
Things will never be the same because I
am always gonna think...

1145
01:19:05,739 --> 01:19:09,368
about you with those guys.

1146
01:19:09,476 --> 01:19:12,934
I don't even know why I came here.

1147
01:19:13,047 --> 01:19:15,481
Closure, I think.

1148
01:19:15,583 --> 01:19:20,520
Eugene, everything I've done since
you fell down the stairs has been for you.

1149
01:19:20,621 --> 01:19:23,886
<i>Oh, yeah, right. Posing naked in playboy
is really helping me out a lot.</i>

1150
01:19:23,991 --> 01:19:25,891
Thanks for that.

1151
01:19:25,993 --> 01:19:28,359
Eugene, where do you think
the money came from?

1152
01:19:28,462 --> 01:19:31,056
- What money?
- The money for your hospital care.

1153
01:19:32,900 --> 01:19:35,368
Your dad didn't think
that you would ever wake up...

1154
01:19:35,469 --> 01:19:39,462
and he was gonna have you
moved to a class "D" hospice where they-

1155
01:19:39,573 --> 01:19:42,041
where they basically
just store you till you die.

1156
01:19:43,277 --> 01:19:45,507
I sent whatever money I could...

1157
01:19:45,613 --> 01:19:47,581
from part-time waitressing
during college...

1158
01:19:47,681 --> 01:19:49,706
but it never really amounted to much.

1159
01:19:49,817 --> 01:19:52,650
Then I started making
some real money modeling...

1160
01:19:52,753 --> 01:19:54,880
and had you moved
to a better treatment center.

1161
01:19:57,524 --> 01:20:00,425
Tucker never told you any of this?

1162
01:20:03,230 --> 01:20:06,666
No. He never did.

1163
01:20:08,135 --> 01:20:10,501
Okay. Hef s orders:
All stalkers out of the mansion.

1164
01:20:12,172 --> 01:20:15,039
Let me go!

1165
01:20:15,142 --> 01:20:17,042
Ow!

1166
01:20:17,144 --> 01:20:19,044
- Eugene!
- Tucker!

1167
01:20:19,146 --> 01:20:22,013
I met Hef. He talked to me.
I think I had a breakthrough.

1168
01:20:22,116 --> 01:20:25,415
- How could you, you son of a bitch?
- What are you talking about?

1169
01:20:25,519 --> 01:20:28,181
You fucking brought me all the way
out here to your stupid party...

1170
01:20:28,289 --> 01:20:30,382
<i>- when you knew Cindi never left me.!
- Eugene!</i>

1171
01:20:30,491 --> 01:20:32,891
Wait. She was at the hospital
the whole time?

1172
01:20:32,993 --> 01:20:36,429
Don't play dumb with me!
She was paying for my medical bills.

1173
01:20:36,530 --> 01:20:38,521
<i>How could you not know that?</i>

1174
01:20:38,632 --> 01:20:41,965
Mister's girlfriend not pay all this money
for you to use this as a porno room.

1175
01:20:45,306 --> 01:20:47,831
The mister's girlfriend is on the phone.
You want to talk to her?

1176
01:20:47,941 --> 01:20:49,465
Go away, Juanita.

1177
01:20:49,576 --> 01:20:51,703
What an angel that young
Cindi Whitehall is...

1178
01:20:51,812 --> 01:20:53,780
for paying all this man's medical bills.

1179
01:20:53,881 --> 01:20:57,408
- I've never seen more devotion in all my years of medicine.
- Go!

1180
01:20:57,518 --> 01:21:00,180
Juanita, I'm trying to do something.
Do you comprende?

1181
01:21:00,287 --> 01:21:01,811
No!

1182
01:21:01,922 --> 01:21:04,152
You let me think Cindi had abandoned me!

1183
01:21:04,258 --> 01:21:07,716
But wait a minute. If Cindi was paying
your hospital bills this whole time...

1184
01:21:07,828 --> 01:21:09,762
then she obviously still loves you.

1185
01:21:09,863 --> 01:21:10,921
- You should be excited.
- Tucker Cleigh!

1186
01:21:12,032 --> 01:21:14,125
Candace!

1187
01:21:14,234 --> 01:21:17,397
And Candace's brother, Rick!

1188
01:21:17,504 --> 01:21:19,836
Put him down!

1189
01:21:22,843 --> 01:21:26,040
You are gonna die
for what you did to my sister.

1190
01:21:26,146 --> 01:21:28,944
- Yeah!
- Make it slow, Rick.

1191
01:21:29,049 --> 01:21:30,607
L-

1192
01:21:30,718 --> 01:21:34,449
There goes that
sissy-hitting motherfucker!

1193
01:21:34,555 --> 01:21:37,956
- Eugene. So we meet again, huh?
- Horsedick.

1194
01:21:38,058 --> 01:21:41,027
- Dot-MPEG! Dot-MPEG!
- Dot-MPEG.

1195
01:21:41,128 --> 01:21:44,757
I was just telling my friends here,
if I ever saw your pretty little face again...

1196
01:21:44,865 --> 01:21:47,095
I was gonna rip it off and fuck it.

1197
01:21:47,201 --> 01:21:49,692
- No.
- And I don't lie to my friends.

1198
01:21:49,803 --> 01:21:53,102
All right, men.
Let's do this fireman-style.

1199
01:21:53,207 --> 01:21:55,903
Yeah!

1200
01:21:58,645 --> 01:22:02,775
I shall now bathe my steel
in the blood of the offender.

1201
01:22:02,883 --> 01:22:05,716
Wait, wait, wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait, wait!

1202
01:22:05,819 --> 01:22:10,017
Before you kill me,
let me just say one thing.

1203
01:22:10,124 --> 01:22:15,426
<i>Candace, I know you're mad, and you have
every right to do whatever you want to me.</i>

1204
01:22:15,529 --> 01:22:18,396
But I just wanted to say that I'm sorry.

1205
01:22:18,499 --> 01:22:21,366
<i>See, I was just hangin'out with Hef...</i>

1206
01:22:21,468 --> 01:22:23,993
and I realized something-

1207
01:22:24,104 --> 01:22:27,835
You're my busted girl from Kentucky.

1208
01:22:27,941 --> 01:22:31,570
We both hate the same music
and like getting wasted and stuff.

1209
01:22:31,678 --> 01:22:34,374
And you like me despite all my faults.

1210
01:22:34,481 --> 01:22:37,348
So the least I can do is look past yours.

1211
01:22:38,752 --> 01:22:43,086
- My faults?
- Yeah. Candace, your face is a wreck.

1212
01:22:43,190 --> 01:22:46,489
- You stabbed me!
- That's one of my faults.

1213
01:22:46,593 --> 01:22:49,153
And you have this really stupid
hatred of strobe lights.

1214
01:22:49,263 --> 01:22:53,563
When you have epilepsy,
strobe lights trigger seizures.

1215
01:22:53,667 --> 01:22:55,999
See? That's stupid.

1216
01:22:56,103 --> 01:22:58,003
Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow!

1217
01:22:58,105 --> 01:23:00,938
The point I'm trying to make
is that none of that matters.

1218
01:23:01,041 --> 01:23:03,407
<i>I like you anyway.</i>

1219
01:23:03,510 --> 01:23:06,445
Look, I always hoped
when I met someone like you...

1220
01:23:06,547 --> 01:23:09,948
I'd already have this crazy,
impressive sexual history.

1221
01:23:10,050 --> 01:23:12,712
But now I realize that
none of that's important...

1222
01:23:12,820 --> 01:23:14,378
<i>once you find someone that you truly love.</i>

1223
01:23:14,488 --> 01:23:16,388
And when I'm with you...

1224
01:23:16,490 --> 01:23:20,256
none of the other chicks that I've nailed
in the past matter anyway.

1225
01:23:20,360 --> 01:23:22,385
Candace...

1226
01:23:22,496 --> 01:23:26,455
you're the last person
that I ever want to bang.

1227
01:23:26,567 --> 01:23:29,593
And if your weird brain thing makes you
bite my junk while you're blowing me...

1228
01:23:29,703 --> 01:23:32,866
then so be it.

1229
01:23:32,973 --> 01:23:36,067
I'll never stab you again.

1230
01:23:42,950 --> 01:23:44,918
I love you, Tucker Cleigh.

1231
01:23:49,590 --> 01:23:51,717
<i>Goddamn it!</i>

1232
01:23:51,825 --> 01:23:54,157
I need to talk to Cindi.

1233
01:23:54,261 --> 01:23:57,890
Well, that was real sweet.

1234
01:23:57,998 --> 01:24:01,729
How you gonna get out of this, Eugene?
You gonna tell me you love me?

1235
01:24:01,835 --> 01:24:04,804
Horsedick, you gotta let me go.
I need to talk to Cindi.

1236
01:24:04,905 --> 01:24:07,806
Why don't you write
a message for her on my dick...

1237
01:24:07,908 --> 01:24:10,502
and I will make sure she gets it.

1238
01:24:14,748 --> 01:24:17,683
<i>You know what, phil?</i>

1239
01:24:17,784 --> 01:24:20,912
That kind of thing would have bothered me
before- that you had sex with Cindi-

1240
01:24:21,021 --> 01:24:24,787
but not now, 'cause I had
a relationship with her.

1241
01:24:24,892 --> 01:24:27,690
She's not just some trophy.
She's the total package.

1242
01:24:27,794 --> 01:24:29,955
And a guy like you, Horsedick-

1243
01:24:30,063 --> 01:24:32,497
You wouldn't even know
what to do with a girl like that.

1244
01:24:32,599 --> 01:24:35,124
- I'll say he wouldn't.
- Cindi.

1245
01:24:35,235 --> 01:24:38,864
Cindi! Wh-What's up, baby?
How you doin'?

1246
01:24:38,972 --> 01:24:41,372
Horsedick wouldn't know what to do
with a blow-up doll.

1247
01:24:41,475 --> 01:24:45,070
- What? What is she talkin' about?
- Nothin'!

1248
01:24:45,178 --> 01:24:47,146
Hey, let's go back up
to the mansion, y'all.

1249
01:24:47,247 --> 01:24:49,442
There's a D.J. He's supposed
to be cold-blooded. Come on.

1250
01:24:49,550 --> 01:24:51,950
Horsedick doesn't have a dick.

1251
01:24:52,052 --> 01:24:54,316
Bitch! You promised.

1252
01:24:54,421 --> 01:24:56,981
- What?
- Horsedick wasn't born with genitalia.

1253
01:24:57,090 --> 01:24:59,354
He has to pee through a straw.

1254
01:24:59,459 --> 01:25:01,723
<i>This bitch has gone crazy.</i>

1255
01:25:01,828 --> 01:25:04,888
Hey, everybody go
to the Horsedick. MPEG party bus!

1256
01:25:04,998 --> 01:25:07,523
<i>- Come on! It's a party!
- Wait a minute.</i>

1257
01:25:07,634 --> 01:25:10,364
- What about all those girls you banged?
- Yeah, dog.

1258
01:25:10,470 --> 01:25:13,030
What about all them girls?

1259
01:25:13,140 --> 01:25:16,906
You know what? I've never actually seen
Horsedick make it with a ho.

1260
01:25:17,010 --> 01:25:18,978
Why you wanna see that?

1261
01:25:19,079 --> 01:25:22,981
Never thought I'd say this-
Fuck that! Let me see your penis, dog.

1262
01:25:23,083 --> 01:25:25,381
I ain't showin' you shit, man. All y'all-

1263
01:25:25,485 --> 01:25:27,715
What you doin'?

1264
01:25:36,296 --> 01:25:38,992
It ain't my fault.
My mama was on acne medication.

1265
01:25:39,099 --> 01:25:41,897
- Oh, man!
- Leave me alone!

1266
01:25:47,107 --> 01:25:49,007
<i>Cindi. Cindi.</i>

1267
01:25:49,109 --> 01:25:51,907
Cindi. Listen, I'm sorry.

1268
01:25:52,012 --> 01:25:54,776
And what happened in the past is the past.

1269
01:25:54,881 --> 01:25:59,113
What's important is right now. I wanna-
I wanna start over, if you'll have me.

1270
01:25:59,219 --> 01:26:01,619
<i>- I just think that-
- Aw.</i>

1271
01:26:04,358 --> 01:26:06,588
Okay.

1272
01:26:06,693 --> 01:26:10,459
Okay. I just have a question. Why didn't
you call me when I woke up in the hospital?

1273
01:26:10,564 --> 01:26:14,591
I call the hospital every Monday.
When did you wake up?

1274
01:26:14,701 --> 01:26:16,999
On, uh, Wednesday.

1275
01:26:17,104 --> 01:26:21,131
- And you just immediately ran off?
- Yeah, I guess.

1276
01:26:21,241 --> 01:26:23,072
Tucker's idea.

1277
01:26:23,176 --> 01:26:25,804
- Yeah.
- Hmm.

1278
01:26:25,912 --> 01:26:29,575
We've really gotta
get you some new friends.

1279
01:26:35,222 --> 01:26:38,385
No. This one's okay.

1280
01:26:52,773 --> 01:26:54,673
Let 'em in.

1281
01:26:57,144 --> 01:26:59,135
Let 'em in, damn it.

1282
01:27:06,987 --> 01:27:08,818
- Mmm.
- I'll see you later.

1283
01:27:08,922 --> 01:27:10,822
- Okay.
- Bye.

1284
01:27:10,924 --> 01:27:13,392
Bye. Bye.

1285
01:27:17,497 --> 01:27:21,490
- So, Candace, huh?
- Yeah. Isn't she the best?

1286
01:27:21,601 --> 01:27:23,694
She's somethin' else, all right.

1287
01:27:23,804 --> 01:27:25,965
So you guys are like-You're good now?

1288
01:27:26,073 --> 01:27:28,200
Yeah. Candace thinks that we
should try to get pregnant.

1289
01:27:28,308 --> 01:27:30,276
You know, really try to work things out.

1290
01:27:30,377 --> 01:27:32,641
That's a great idea, Tucker.

1291
01:27:32,746 --> 01:27:36,147
That is a great idea. How are we gonna fight
if there's always a baby around?

1292
01:27:36,249 --> 01:27:40,481
<i>And I'm gonna see if Hef can hook me up
with an internship at the photo department.</i>

1293
01:27:40,587 --> 01:27:42,680
<i>- Hey, that's awesome.
- Yeah.</i>

1294
01:27:42,789 --> 01:27:44,814
So, what about you and Cindi?

1295
01:27:44,925 --> 01:27:48,520
I don't know, but, uh,
I feel really good about it.

1296
01:27:48,628 --> 01:27:50,220
<i>- Yeah?
- Yeah.</i>

1297
01:27:50,330 --> 01:27:52,958
- Cool.
- You wanna know something crazy?

1298
01:27:53,066 --> 01:27:56,832
- You don't have a dick.
- No.

1299
01:27:56,937 --> 01:27:59,132
She's upstairs waiting for me right now.

1300
01:27:59,239 --> 01:28:01,104
- No!
- Yep.

1301
01:28:01,208 --> 01:28:02,835
- No!
- Yep.

1302
01:28:02,943 --> 01:28:06,401
<i>Your first time is going to be
with a playboy Playmate...</i>

1303
01:28:06,513 --> 01:28:08,777
at the Playboy Mansion?

1304
01:28:08,882 --> 01:28:10,816
- Yes.
- How do you feel?

1305
01:28:10,917 --> 01:28:15,377
Um, I feel ready. I feel ready.

1306
01:28:15,489 --> 01:28:16,979
- Congratulations.
- Thank you.

1307
01:28:17,090 --> 01:28:18,557
A toast.

1308
01:28:18,658 --> 01:28:20,489
- To new beginnings.
- To new beginnings. Well put.

1309
01:28:23,540 --> 01:28:25,440
Oh!

1310
01:28:25,542 --> 01:28:27,942
Whoo!

1311
01:28:28,045 --> 01:28:29,979
You're probably gonna wanna
have another one, so you'll last longer.

1312
01:28:30,080 --> 01:28:32,548
- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah.

1313
01:28:32,650 --> 01:28:35,813
All right, everybody,
I'm goin' upstairs...

1314
01:28:35,920 --> 01:28:37,854
to have sex...

1315
01:28:37,955 --> 01:28:40,116
with my girlfriend!

1316
01:28:42,760 --> 01:28:45,160
- Is it good?
- Oh, yeah, Eugene.

1317
01:28:45,262 --> 01:28:47,196
- Yeah?
- Mm-hmm.

1318
01:28:47,298 --> 01:28:49,732
That's good, 'cause
I'm tryin' really hard.

1319
01:28:49,833 --> 01:28:51,858
Oh, you're doing
a really good job, Eugene.

1320
01:28:51,969 --> 01:28:53,800
- Does it feel good?
- Mm-hmm.

1321
01:28:53,904 --> 01:28:56,532
- Okay.
- Oh, no.

1322
01:28:56,640 --> 01:28:58,801
Eugene, be careful. Don't overexert yourself.

1323
01:29:08,352 --> 01:29:10,320
During my time in South Carolina...

1324
01:29:10,421 --> 01:29:13,618
I discovered a groundbreaking
and new experimental way...

1325
01:29:13,724 --> 01:29:16,693
of reinstating consciousness
to the comatose.

1326
01:29:16,794 --> 01:29:19,695
It has proven itself
to be quite effective.

1327
01:29:36,613 --> 01:29:39,912
<i>Blue Team to I.C. U, please.</i>

1328
01:29:40,017 --> 01:29:43,180
I swear I saw this work once.

1329
01:29:57,801 --> 01:30:00,269
You're a dead man, Tucker Cleigh.

1330
01:30:10,801 --> 01:30:55,269
You're a dead man, Tucker Cleigh.