1 00:00:05,000 --> 00:00:15,000 Created and Encoded by -- Bokutox -- of www.YIFY-TORRENTS.com. The Best 720p/1080p/3d movies with the lowest file size on the internet. 2 00:00:17,000 --> 00:00:23,074 Advertise your product or brand here contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today 3 00:00:32,481 --> 00:00:39,316 Your attention, please. Flight 217 from Venice, Italy, now arriving at Gate 34. 4 00:00:39,406 --> 00:00:43,320 Please claim all baggage at carousel number two... 5 00:01:15,567 --> 00:01:17,109 Hot! Hot! 6 00:01:48,058 --> 00:01:49,717 I'll be by tomorrow for my stuff. 7 00:01:49,809 --> 00:01:53,758 Oh. Call first, cos I might be having sex with a complete stranger! 8 00:01:57,984 --> 00:02:01,067 45 minutes for a cab. This is ridiculous. 9 00:02:01,153 --> 00:02:02,648 Cheese and rice! 10 00:02:05,283 --> 00:02:07,608 Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah! 11 00:02:07,702 --> 00:02:12,494 Boy, you got it in there, didn't you, honey? Thank you so much! 12 00:02:16,127 --> 00:02:18,914 I need a ride. 13 00:02:19,005 --> 00:02:21,080 Get out of my way. 14 00:02:35,688 --> 00:02:36,766 Ooh! 15 00:02:39,066 --> 00:02:40,941 Get in! 16 00:02:52,788 --> 00:02:55,244 Try and keep it on the road for a change. 17 00:03:08,429 --> 00:03:12,343 - Can't you get it any closer? - I don't wanna scratch the paint. 18 00:03:22,360 --> 00:03:24,566 What do you do here, Tom Leezak? 19 00:03:24,654 --> 00:03:25,934 Just open the gate, Yuan. 20 00:03:26,030 --> 00:03:28,901 You and Tom not together any more. 21 00:03:28,991 --> 00:03:31,742 - Just open the gate, Yuan! - OK. 22 00:03:51,304 --> 00:03:52,965 That one looks heavy. 23 00:03:56,894 --> 00:03:59,267 Get that junk wagon out of here. 24 00:03:59,355 --> 00:04:01,228 Right away, princess! 25 00:04:14,745 --> 00:04:17,034 Not one word. 26 00:04:18,999 --> 00:04:22,867 - Are Mom and Dad home? - No, they're at the Emphysema Ball. 27 00:04:22,962 --> 00:04:26,746 Don't worry, Peewee. We'll get this Tom mess cleaned up. 28 00:04:31,053 --> 00:04:32,548 Sarah... 29 00:04:45,067 --> 00:04:47,771 Kyle... 30 00:04:52,616 --> 00:04:54,360 Kyle. 31 00:04:54,868 --> 00:04:56,742 Kyle. 32 00:05:01,584 --> 00:05:05,366 OK, I'm home, so you can leave whenever you want. 33 00:05:24,482 --> 00:05:27,436 Hi! This is Tom and Sarah. We can't come to the phone right now. 34 00:05:27,526 --> 00:05:30,064 because we're honeymooning in Europe! 35 00:05:30,154 --> 00:05:34,780 Send a large wedding gift, or we won't call you back. I'm serious. 36 00:05:36,243 --> 00:05:39,528 Tom, Kyle. I got your message. I'm sorry the honeymoon sucked. 37 00:05:39,621 --> 00:05:44,864 Anyway, don't wig. I set up lodging in your place. And when you get back, we'll do some Budweiser therapy. 38 00:05:46,169 --> 00:05:49,503 Hi, Sarah, it's Peter. I thought I might catch you in. 39 00:05:49,590 --> 00:05:53,290 Tom, if you're listening, buddy, I feel your pain. 40 00:06:01,185 --> 00:06:06,013 - So where you been, man? You're on in five. - I walked over. I had to clear my head. 41 00:06:06,106 --> 00:06:08,064 So? What happened? 42 00:06:08,151 --> 00:06:12,277 Well, I had the perfect relationship that was ruined by marriage. 43 00:06:12,362 --> 00:06:16,360 Have you saw it, right? We were perfect from the minute we met. Right? 44 00:06:16,449 --> 00:06:20,530 Yeah. In fact, it was nauseating. 45 00:06:21,288 --> 00:06:22,912 Thank you, Fred. 46 00:06:27,878 --> 00:06:31,329 Blue 28! Blue 28! 47 00:06:31,423 --> 00:06:34,341 Set! Hut! 48 00:06:35,844 --> 00:06:37,636 I'm open! I'm open! 49 00:06:40,517 --> 00:06:42,140 Football! 50 00:06:44,645 --> 00:06:45,842 Oh... 51 00:06:46,896 --> 00:06:48,094 Sorry! 52 00:06:49,650 --> 00:06:51,109 Are you OK? 53 00:06:51,193 --> 00:06:54,111 Yeah. You had nothin' on it. 54 00:07:00,786 --> 00:07:03,538 Cheers, Sarah McNerney. 55 00:07:03,622 --> 00:07:06,244 Cheers, Tom Leezak. 56 00:07:09,420 --> 00:07:12,207 So, what do you do when you're not Joe Montana? 57 00:07:12,298 --> 00:07:15,297 I work at KNR Radio, 58 00:07:15,383 --> 00:07:18,550 your traffic information station. 59 00:07:19,429 --> 00:07:21,967 So I have myself a real live radio host then? 60 00:07:22,057 --> 00:07:26,220 No. Someday I'll be that guy. Sports, hopefully. 61 00:07:26,311 --> 00:07:29,063 Right now, I just do spot traffic reports. 62 00:07:29,147 --> 00:07:32,683 On the graveyard shift. Every other week. 63 00:07:32,777 --> 00:07:35,812 When the full-time guy's sick. 64 00:07:35,904 --> 00:07:39,070 - You're that Tom. - Yeah. You actually heard me on the air? 65 00:07:39,157 --> 00:07:42,361 Yeah, I called in about a week ago. Like, 3 am. 66 00:07:42,453 --> 00:07:45,619 You said the Pasadena freeway was all clear, so I took it, 67 00:07:45,706 --> 00:07:51,957 and got stuck behind a jackknifed big rig for, like, three hours. Yeah. 68 00:07:52,045 --> 00:07:54,169 Sarah from Beverly Hills. 69 00:07:55,089 --> 00:07:57,960 Who called me a... fathead. 70 00:07:58,760 --> 00:08:00,966 We got pretty heated. 71 00:08:01,054 --> 00:08:02,549 Very heated. 72 00:08:05,143 --> 00:08:08,262 So, 3 am? That's actually past your bedtime, is it? 73 00:08:08,354 --> 00:08:13,182 How do you know my bedtime? I was wrapping out an auction. I'm a gofer at Sotheby's. 74 00:08:13,275 --> 00:08:17,984 Beverly Hills, Sotheby's let me guess marketing major, Stanford. Smartypants in the front row. 75 00:08:18,071 --> 00:08:21,903 - Art history major, Wellesley, back row. - Oh, back row. 76 00:08:21,991 --> 00:08:25,610 Sweet! Me too. Communications, Burbank Community College. 77 00:08:25,704 --> 00:08:27,992 - Wanna hear the fight song? - No, thank you. 78 00:08:28,081 --> 00:08:30,453 - Are you sure? I'm really good at it. - No, really. Thanks. 79 00:08:30,542 --> 00:08:32,617 That's a good choice. 80 00:08:33,628 --> 00:08:35,870 McNerney. 81 00:08:35,964 --> 00:08:40,425 You're not, by any chance, the daughter of Dan McNerney, 82 00:08:40,511 --> 00:08:44,674 part-owner-of-the-Lakers-and-Dodgers McNerney? 83 00:08:45,682 --> 00:08:47,509 I'll take that as a yes. 84 00:08:48,101 --> 00:08:50,592 Ready to get your ass kicked at eight-ball Leezak? 85 00:08:50,687 --> 00:08:54,387 Oh-ho-ho-ho. You are dreaming, Wellesley. 86 00:08:54,482 --> 00:08:56,440 I went to day care in a pool hall. 87 00:08:56,526 --> 00:08:59,361 Oh. Pretty confident there, huh, fathead? 88 00:09:07,037 --> 00:09:09,610 Bags, shh. Bags, shh! 89 00:09:46,785 --> 00:09:50,201 - Wow. - Yeah. 90 00:09:52,874 --> 00:09:56,457 And that was it. A month later, we moved in together. 91 00:09:57,920 --> 00:10:02,629 Why the hell did we get married when we had loving each other so completely nailed? 92 00:10:02,717 --> 00:10:04,709 I don't know. Ten seconds. 93 00:10:04,802 --> 00:10:06,428 Why does anyone get married? 94 00:10:06,512 --> 00:10:12,017 I mean, does it make sense to be with one person for your entire life? 95 00:10:13,144 --> 00:10:15,897 People change. They grow. 96 00:10:15,980 --> 00:10:17,061 You're on, Tom. 97 00:10:17,900 --> 00:10:22,193 Maybe we'd still be together if I'd gotten the proposal right, but, nope, 98 00:10:22,279 --> 00:10:24,852 the proposal is critical, and I blew it. 99 00:10:24,948 --> 00:10:26,608 Tom! 100 00:10:30,661 --> 00:10:36,914 This is Tom Leezak with KNR traffic at 2.06 am. 101 00:10:37,002 --> 00:10:42,458 At this hour, there are approximately seven vehicles on all Southland freeways, 102 00:10:42,549 --> 00:10:47,376 so if you feel like skateboarding down the 405, she's wide-open. 103 00:10:47,470 --> 00:10:51,005 Stay tuned for another traffic update in ten minutes 104 00:10:51,099 --> 00:10:56,473 on KNR, your traffic information station. 105 00:10:57,522 --> 00:11:01,353 And we're out. Look here, Tom. You gotta focus, all right, man? 106 00:11:01,900 --> 00:11:05,769 Forget about proposals. Forget about marriage. All right? 107 00:11:12,912 --> 00:11:14,455 Bags... 108 00:11:17,249 --> 00:11:22,126 Do you have to grunt all the time? You're just like a little pig with hair. 109 00:11:23,756 --> 00:11:27,256 Look at me. I'm the cutest doggy in the world. 110 00:11:27,344 --> 00:11:32,681 I'm the cutest doggy in the world. Throw the ball for me. I'll pull on your leg all day. 111 00:11:32,765 --> 00:11:35,434 Bags, seriously, I will... 112 00:11:35,518 --> 00:11:37,179 Bags, I'm reading. 113 00:11:41,232 --> 00:11:42,775 Fetch. 114 00:11:53,579 --> 00:11:55,986 It wasn't like Bags to chase pigeons. 115 00:11:58,792 --> 00:12:01,746 This pigeon was cruel. It was... 116 00:12:03,546 --> 00:12:07,875 Bags, he just... he just went for him. 117 00:12:09,010 --> 00:12:11,085 He was taunting. 118 00:12:12,638 --> 00:12:16,256 And... squawking. 119 00:12:16,350 --> 00:12:19,102 Squawking? 120 00:12:19,187 --> 00:12:21,643 Squawking. 121 00:12:21,731 --> 00:12:25,148 I mean, at first, it was more of a... more of a purring. 122 00:12:26,361 --> 00:12:29,565 You know how they... I mean, Bags... It got his attention. 123 00:12:29,657 --> 00:12:32,194 He has a low tolerance for annoyances. 124 00:12:32,283 --> 00:12:35,533 But then it turned into this, like, shrill... 125 00:12:48,090 --> 00:12:50,167 You're Iying. 126 00:12:51,177 --> 00:12:54,842 - What? - Your nostrils always flare when you lie. 127 00:12:54,931 --> 00:12:57,173 Flare! Flare! 128 00:12:57,267 --> 00:13:01,051 They're not flaring. I'm not Iying. 129 00:13:05,066 --> 00:13:10,106 Honey, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm just really overwhelmed. 130 00:13:11,572 --> 00:13:14,608 Promise we'll never lie to each other. 131 00:13:17,078 --> 00:13:19,533 It's a promise. 132 00:13:26,004 --> 00:13:28,542 I love you so much. 133 00:13:34,553 --> 00:13:36,796 Listen, Sarah... 134 00:13:37,349 --> 00:13:40,302 I wanna marry you, Tom Leezak. 135 00:13:43,146 --> 00:13:45,268 I wanna marry you, too. 136 00:13:56,784 --> 00:14:00,949 Why do you bring Dodge to front? ParK at service entrance! 137 00:14:01,039 --> 00:14:03,660 - Open the gate, Yuan. - OK. 138 00:14:05,210 --> 00:14:06,668 Here we go! 139 00:14:06,752 --> 00:14:08,829 Whoo! 140 00:14:19,932 --> 00:14:22,601 Well, well, well... 141 00:14:24,729 --> 00:14:27,137 What a surprise. 142 00:14:35,615 --> 00:14:39,565 - Welcome to the family, Tom. - Thank you, Mrs McNerney. 143 00:14:39,953 --> 00:14:41,992 Oh, you can call me Pussy now. 144 00:14:42,080 --> 00:14:45,613 Thank you... Pussy. 145 00:14:45,708 --> 00:14:49,836 Well, wonderful. Wonderful! 146 00:14:49,920 --> 00:14:52,494 Yuan, champagne for everybody! 147 00:14:54,424 --> 00:14:56,132 Knock it off, Dickie! 148 00:14:57,428 --> 00:15:02,174 Peewee. My youngest daughter. 149 00:15:02,267 --> 00:15:04,639 You little rebel. 150 00:15:05,728 --> 00:15:08,895 And you, Tom Leezak. You're... 151 00:15:09,733 --> 00:15:12,567 Well, wonderful surprise. 152 00:15:13,445 --> 00:15:15,603 Thank you, Mr McNerney. 153 00:15:15,697 --> 00:15:19,397 I... I just hope that I can... 154 00:15:19,491 --> 00:15:23,739 be just all that I can be... 155 00:15:25,498 --> 00:15:28,582 in this family. 156 00:15:35,091 --> 00:15:38,424 Well, I love Sarah. 157 00:15:38,511 --> 00:15:40,338 That's all I need to know. 158 00:15:42,265 --> 00:15:45,468 You really missed the boat, didn't you, Prentiss? 159 00:15:45,560 --> 00:15:46,675 Yes, I did, Dan. 160 00:15:46,769 --> 00:15:49,176 You bet your ass you did. 161 00:15:49,271 --> 00:15:53,933 I should've been courting Sarah instead of putting in 19-hour days at the office. 162 00:15:54,025 --> 00:15:57,893 Anyway, congratulations. To both of you. 163 00:15:57,988 --> 00:16:00,396 Seriously, from my heart. 164 00:16:00,491 --> 00:16:02,567 Thank you, Peter. 165 00:16:03,452 --> 00:16:06,868 - You're a lucky man. - Hey, I know that. 166 00:16:06,956 --> 00:16:09,031 Grab a flute of bubbly and rise. 167 00:16:11,919 --> 00:16:13,828 Everybody ready? 168 00:16:14,213 --> 00:16:18,081 - Why is Peter Prentiss here? - Dad's doing business with him. 169 00:16:18,176 --> 00:16:21,544 All right. Health, wealth, happiness. 170 00:16:21,637 --> 00:16:24,211 Health, wealth, happiness. 171 00:16:25,390 --> 00:16:28,724 All right, Peewee. Ten-yard out. 172 00:16:28,811 --> 00:16:34,398 Leezak, give me a five-yard slant. You got this, man. Don't worry about it. 173 00:16:34,483 --> 00:16:36,641 - Calm down. - What do you mean, calm down? 174 00:16:36,735 --> 00:16:41,694 Why do bad things happen to good people, Father? Where's that in your book? 175 00:16:41,782 --> 00:16:44,108 - She's very determined. - Not even Catholic! 176 00:16:44,202 --> 00:16:48,116 - He's a Polack! No, he's a Polack. - I know, and I warned you... 177 00:16:48,206 --> 00:16:50,531 Let's see what Leezak's packing. 178 00:16:50,625 --> 00:16:53,293 Ready? All right. And break! 179 00:16:53,877 --> 00:16:55,953 - On one. Ready? - Break! 180 00:16:59,842 --> 00:17:02,463 You girls ready for this? 181 00:17:04,096 --> 00:17:05,342 Down! 182 00:17:07,600 --> 00:17:08,631 Set! 183 00:17:10,978 --> 00:17:12,307 Ooh! 184 00:17:13,939 --> 00:17:15,647 That was a hard one. that was a dumber. 185 00:17:16,400 --> 00:17:18,440 - Yeah! - That's what I'm talkin' about! 186 00:17:18,528 --> 00:17:20,687 - What are you doing, Willie? - I slipped. 187 00:17:22,573 --> 00:17:26,321 I still got my flag. I'm good. I'm good. 188 00:17:27,703 --> 00:17:30,870 Oh, my Peewee. Always moving so fast. 189 00:17:30,956 --> 00:17:35,998 You move in together after a month, live together for nine months, and... 190 00:17:36,086 --> 00:17:38,659 now you're engaged. 191 00:17:38,755 --> 00:17:41,426 Oh, I know you love him, but, you know, 192 00:17:41,508 --> 00:17:46,467 sometimes it takes more than love to sustain a marriage. 193 00:17:48,140 --> 00:17:50,678 You need to be old enough to know who you are 194 00:17:50,768 --> 00:17:52,891 and what you want and who he is. 195 00:17:52,979 --> 00:17:56,513 Oh, Mom, he's wild and spontaneous 196 00:17:56,607 --> 00:17:59,145 and hysterical and offbeat, 197 00:17:59,235 --> 00:18:03,102 and on top of all that, he's centred, and he's down-to-earth. 198 00:18:03,197 --> 00:18:07,610 He's everything I want. And we have this passion for each other that's... 199 00:18:07,702 --> 00:18:09,575 Oh! 200 00:18:12,289 --> 00:18:14,163 I'm jealous. 201 00:18:16,085 --> 00:18:19,336 All right. First thing tomorrow... 202 00:18:21,757 --> 00:18:24,248 we're gonna plan this wedding! 203 00:18:48,826 --> 00:18:50,071 Hey, you. 204 00:19:05,217 --> 00:19:08,503 So I guess everyone thinks we're crazy for doing this. 205 00:19:08,595 --> 00:19:12,131 Now when did we start caring about what other people think? 206 00:19:14,016 --> 00:19:19,687 Well, are you sure that you don't wanna marry a guy like Peter? 207 00:19:21,024 --> 00:19:26,731 If I wanted to know exactly what my life would be from here on out, 208 00:19:26,822 --> 00:19:30,322 I would marry a guy like Peter. 209 00:19:30,408 --> 00:19:33,114 But I love not knowing. 210 00:19:33,204 --> 00:19:38,909 I love our messy loft... your beater car. 211 00:19:41,878 --> 00:19:44,749 I wanna start a life with you. 212 00:19:44,840 --> 00:19:46,250 Sarah? 213 00:19:46,341 --> 00:19:48,630 Go! Go! 214 00:19:52,222 --> 00:19:54,131 Hi, Daddy. 215 00:19:58,228 --> 00:20:03,816 Peewee... Marriage is like a business investment. 216 00:20:03,901 --> 00:20:09,903 Its long-term viability is best established unemotionally. 217 00:20:09,990 --> 00:20:14,948 Bottom line, Daddy we love each other. That is all that matters. 218 00:20:28,550 --> 00:20:30,294 Leezak. 219 00:20:30,386 --> 00:20:31,549 Good night, sir. 220 00:20:35,516 --> 00:20:37,971 Congratulations, Mr Leezak! 221 00:20:38,060 --> 00:20:41,345 Big Daddy Leezak's in the house! 222 00:20:43,356 --> 00:20:45,929 Oh, I hope she doesn't spook on you, man. 223 00:20:46,818 --> 00:20:48,360 What do you mean? 224 00:20:48,445 --> 00:20:53,107 I love Sarah, don't get me wrong. But rich chicks spook. 225 00:20:53,200 --> 00:20:57,412 A powerful daddy plus family money equals expectations. 226 00:20:57,495 --> 00:21:00,864 Expectations are like a fungal rot on a marriage. 227 00:21:01,917 --> 00:21:05,002 Our marriage is not gonna have a fungal rot. 228 00:21:05,088 --> 00:21:08,955 We're gonna be happily married every day for the rest of our lives. 229 00:21:10,300 --> 00:21:14,512 Unless she finds out that you slaughtered her dog. 230 00:21:14,596 --> 00:21:16,504 I'll take that to my grave. 231 00:21:22,938 --> 00:21:27,481 OK, if you change your mind at the altar, just pass out. 232 00:21:27,567 --> 00:21:30,106 I'm not going to change my mind. 233 00:21:30,196 --> 00:21:33,564 OK. I'm just saying, if you do, just hit the floor. 234 00:21:33,657 --> 00:21:36,279 Thank you. But it's not gonna happen. 235 00:21:36,911 --> 00:21:39,781 You're sure you're ready to give up your grazing rights? 236 00:21:39,872 --> 00:21:41,580 I'm not a grazer, Kyle. 237 00:21:41,666 --> 00:21:44,037 What if you became one later in life? 238 00:21:44,125 --> 00:21:49,500 I mean, over the next ten years, you're giving up five hayrides per year. 239 00:21:49,589 --> 00:21:53,801 So I can either be happily married to Sarah, or have 50 one-night stands. 240 00:21:53,885 --> 00:21:57,634 - Minimum. - That's not even a choice. 241 00:21:59,307 --> 00:22:02,178 OK, OK, let's move on. 242 00:22:02,269 --> 00:22:06,053 Are there any chicks you didn't have that you wish you had? 243 00:22:06,148 --> 00:22:08,437 You are, like, the worst best man ever! 244 00:22:08,525 --> 00:22:10,185 Peter! 245 00:22:12,321 --> 00:22:14,810 I can't believe she invited Prentiss. 246 00:22:14,906 --> 00:22:17,444 - Glad you made it, buddy. - Hey, man. 247 00:22:17,534 --> 00:22:20,451 Did she ever hook up with that yahoo? 248 00:22:21,788 --> 00:22:25,572 Nah. They went backpacking in Europe once, just after high school. 249 00:22:25,666 --> 00:22:28,288 I don't think anything happened. 250 00:22:28,378 --> 00:22:34,631 Whoa. You're getting married, and she didn't share the roster? 251 00:22:36,594 --> 00:22:38,635 She shared the roster. 252 00:22:41,475 --> 00:22:44,725 Merrick... and Bruce. 253 00:22:49,690 --> 00:22:51,599 What about Prentiss? 254 00:22:55,572 --> 00:22:58,277 And you never asked again? 255 00:22:58,366 --> 00:23:01,367 I won. It's irrelevant. 256 00:23:03,329 --> 00:23:09,202 Oh. OK. As long as you're OK with a bogus roster. 257 00:23:09,294 --> 00:23:11,964 - It's not a bogus roster! - Is he on or is he off? 258 00:23:12,047 --> 00:23:13,589 He's... 259 00:23:14,883 --> 00:23:16,960 - Shut up. - Huh? Huh? 260 00:23:21,306 --> 00:23:22,883 And you could've had Peter. 261 00:23:22,974 --> 00:23:25,725 I did have Peter, and it wasn't that hot. OK? 262 00:23:27,521 --> 00:23:30,011 Excuse me? 263 00:23:30,106 --> 00:23:33,357 I was in Seattle, helping at an appraisal. 264 00:23:33,443 --> 00:23:37,061 Ran into Peter. We went out. I drank way too much, 265 00:23:37,155 --> 00:23:42,031 and before I knew it, we... tussled. 266 00:23:42,577 --> 00:23:45,198 You bad girl. 267 00:23:45,830 --> 00:23:49,580 I wanted to tell Tom so many times, but he gets so jealous you know. 268 00:23:49,669 --> 00:23:52,502 Listen, it doesn't matter that he doesn't know. 269 00:23:52,587 --> 00:23:55,373 It's not like you guys were married, and even if you were... 270 00:23:55,464 --> 00:23:58,169 No, no, no. It matters to me. 271 00:23:58,259 --> 00:24:02,091 It's like living a lie. I cannot live a lie. 272 00:24:02,179 --> 00:24:06,308 There will always be this big fat elephant in the room with us. 273 00:24:06,392 --> 00:24:09,063 Listen, Peewee, never tell him. 274 00:24:11,606 --> 00:24:13,231 It's time to go, Sarah. 275 00:24:14,860 --> 00:24:16,935 Come on. 276 00:24:18,113 --> 00:24:19,608 - Got everything? - Yes. 277 00:24:19,698 --> 00:24:20,979 How are you holding up? 278 00:24:21,075 --> 00:24:24,074 Pussy's a mess. I'm just telling you right now, be prepared. 279 00:25:00,738 --> 00:25:02,316 Wait. 280 00:25:09,205 --> 00:25:10,403 - Oh! Ow. - Ooh! 281 00:25:10,498 --> 00:25:12,290 - Oh, are you OK? - Yes. 282 00:25:12,375 --> 00:25:15,459 - Are you all right? - I'm fine. 283 00:25:15,545 --> 00:25:18,416 This threshold thing isn't as easy as it looks. 284 00:25:26,598 --> 00:25:30,844 Daddy got the big suite! Yeah, he did! 285 00:25:38,568 --> 00:25:41,651 We're really married. We're really, really married. 286 00:25:41,737 --> 00:25:43,813 For ever and ever. 287 00:25:46,493 --> 00:25:48,699 Do you feel like it? 288 00:25:48,787 --> 00:25:51,823 I don't know. Do you? 289 00:25:54,125 --> 00:25:56,617 I'm kinda tired. 290 00:25:57,754 --> 00:25:59,829 Me too. 291 00:26:00,923 --> 00:26:03,211 - I mean, hey... - OK. 292 00:26:14,270 --> 00:26:16,346 What's the matter? 293 00:26:17,774 --> 00:26:20,977 It's our wedding night, and we don't wanna have sex. 294 00:26:21,945 --> 00:26:25,064 No... Well, it's OK. 295 00:26:26,366 --> 00:26:29,616 We're tired. It's fine. 296 00:26:29,702 --> 00:26:32,371 Baby, it's just that this is our wedding day, 297 00:26:32,455 --> 00:26:35,325 something I've fantasized about my whole life. 298 00:26:39,337 --> 00:26:41,792 And now it's over. 299 00:26:45,927 --> 00:26:49,712 Did you have wedding fantasies when you were a little boy? 300 00:26:56,020 --> 00:26:57,431 Kinda. 301 00:26:57,522 --> 00:27:00,013 Oh, honey. 302 00:27:00,108 --> 00:27:04,485 Oh, my God! Tomorrow my parents are gonna know I'm not a virgin any more! 303 00:27:04,570 --> 00:27:06,609 Sarah... 304 00:27:06,697 --> 00:27:09,901 Oh... You haven't been a virgin since college. 305 00:27:09,993 --> 00:27:14,701 I know. I know. But tomorrow they're gonna know for sure that I'm not a virgin. 306 00:27:14,789 --> 00:27:19,249 And they're gonna know that you deflowered me. Oh, God! Oh, no! 307 00:27:19,335 --> 00:27:21,127 - Oh, honey! - Deflowered? 308 00:27:21,212 --> 00:27:24,213 That's what my mom always called it. My mommy. 309 00:27:24,299 --> 00:27:26,587 Oh, Sarah. 310 00:27:26,676 --> 00:27:30,757 Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hey. Hey. 311 00:27:31,849 --> 00:27:34,885 I love you. OK? 312 00:27:34,976 --> 00:27:40,100 And we have our entire lives to have sex. 313 00:27:41,148 --> 00:27:44,730 So it's OK if we don't do it tonight. 314 00:27:46,446 --> 00:27:48,106 OK? 315 00:27:50,658 --> 00:27:52,319 Now I kinda feel like it. 316 00:27:52,410 --> 00:27:54,901 - Really? - Yeah. 317 00:27:54,995 --> 00:27:56,870 That was a sexy speech. 318 00:27:56,956 --> 00:28:00,954 I, you know, turn it on every once in a while. 319 00:28:04,880 --> 00:28:06,957 Oh, bloody nose! Bloody nose! 320 00:28:07,050 --> 00:28:10,251 Oh, hello, hello! Hello, hello! 321 00:28:10,343 --> 00:28:12,420 Here you go. 322 00:28:14,807 --> 00:28:18,674 You've been mine for one night, and you're falling apart already. 323 00:28:18,769 --> 00:28:21,474 I'm not gonna have to trade ya in, am I? 324 00:28:22,190 --> 00:28:23,933 OK... 325 00:28:24,025 --> 00:28:27,725 There you go. Just like that. It'll stop the bleeding. 326 00:28:30,073 --> 00:28:32,231 I look like a chimp. 327 00:28:34,244 --> 00:28:36,320 You look gorgeous. 328 00:28:38,248 --> 00:28:40,655 Let's go to sleep. 329 00:28:43,252 --> 00:28:46,170 - I love you. - I love you, too, baby. 330 00:29:39,643 --> 00:29:42,180 Sweetie, our plane leaves in an hour. 331 00:29:42,270 --> 00:29:44,345 - Argh! Argh! - Ow! 332 00:29:48,776 --> 00:29:52,310 OK, so that wasn't the smoothest start to a honeymoon. 333 00:29:53,197 --> 00:29:58,867 But tomorrow we will be at the foot of the Alps at the Hotel des Reves. 334 00:29:58,953 --> 00:30:01,443 - Yes, we will. - It'll be totally perfect. 335 00:30:01,538 --> 00:30:04,540 Yes, it sounds totally perfect. 336 00:30:07,503 --> 00:30:09,580 But I can't wait until then. 337 00:30:24,520 --> 00:30:26,596 Jimmy-crack-corn! 338 00:30:32,654 --> 00:30:34,776 Close it, bitch! 339 00:30:37,617 --> 00:30:40,154 There's a lock on the door for a reason, Junior. 340 00:30:40,244 --> 00:30:42,818 I'm claustrophobic, OK? 341 00:30:42,914 --> 00:30:44,076 Do we have a problem? 342 00:30:44,165 --> 00:30:45,743 - No. - No, no problem. 343 00:30:45,833 --> 00:30:47,625 - We're just waiting. - Yeah. 344 00:30:47,710 --> 00:30:49,536 Mm-hm. 345 00:30:57,469 --> 00:31:01,846 Mexican food. That's an oxymoron. 346 00:31:07,688 --> 00:31:10,558 Sweet Lord! Where does that come from? 347 00:31:10,649 --> 00:31:12,642 - Let's just wait. - Oh, my gosh. 348 00:31:12,734 --> 00:31:16,399 .. has turned on the "fasten seat belt" sign. 349 00:31:16,488 --> 00:31:18,529 Kindly return to your seats. 350 00:31:18,616 --> 00:31:22,447 OK... Breathe through your mouth. Breathe through your mouth. 351 00:31:22,536 --> 00:31:24,825 - No, it's really bad. - Just do it! 352 00:31:29,209 --> 00:31:30,408 Hurry up! 353 00:31:34,173 --> 00:31:36,629 OK, OK, let me just... 354 00:31:37,259 --> 00:31:39,217 Oh! 355 00:31:44,266 --> 00:31:46,889 This is gonna work. This is gonna work. 356 00:31:48,103 --> 00:31:51,058 - I'm gonna step on the toilet. - OK, perfect. 357 00:32:00,574 --> 00:32:03,408 - What? - The crapper's got my foot. 358 00:32:03,493 --> 00:32:05,451 - Wait. Let me help. - Sarah... 359 00:32:05,538 --> 00:32:08,159 OK, OK, one, two, three. 360 00:32:13,755 --> 00:32:15,082 Return to your seats please. 361 00:32:15,172 --> 00:32:17,580 - Be right out. OK, you OK? - Yeah. 362 00:32:17,675 --> 00:32:20,960 OK, wait. OK, one, two, three. 363 00:32:21,971 --> 00:32:24,462 Return to your seats now, please. 364 00:32:24,556 --> 00:32:26,798 Beat it, stew! 365 00:32:29,227 --> 00:32:30,721 Return... 366 00:32:34,317 --> 00:32:39,192 Playtime is over, children. Return to your seats! Do you hear me? 367 00:32:39,280 --> 00:32:40,987 - Let's flush it. - I'll pull. 368 00:32:45,661 --> 00:32:46,941 I can't get it out! 369 00:32:47,038 --> 00:32:49,825 The captain has turned on the "fasten seat belt" sign! 370 00:32:49,916 --> 00:32:52,786 Wait, wait, wait. Here. Ready? One, two, three. 371 00:33:01,135 --> 00:33:03,969 Mesdames and messieurs... 372 00:33:04,054 --> 00:33:08,763 - We can tell the grandchildren about that. - Great story for the kids. 373 00:33:13,480 --> 00:33:15,722 - Bonjour. - How you doing that there, chief? 374 00:33:15,817 --> 00:33:18,816 Can we get Lee car for Leezak? 375 00:33:20,029 --> 00:33:24,157 Bonjour. Les reservations sont pour LeezaK. 376 00:33:24,241 --> 00:33:26,318 Oui, mademoiselle. 377 00:33:26,995 --> 00:33:31,454 - You never told me you spoke French. - It was that summer abroad I backpack to Europe. 378 00:33:31,539 --> 00:33:34,991 Ah, here we are. For Mr and Mrs Leezak. 379 00:33:35,085 --> 00:33:37,327 Must be some mistake, no? 380 00:33:37,420 --> 00:33:39,497 No, no mistake. Mr and Mrs. 381 00:33:41,550 --> 00:33:42,629 What the hell? 382 00:33:42,718 --> 00:33:45,884 - These sports scores are two days old. - So? 383 00:33:45,971 --> 00:33:49,636 So? You know perfectly well if I don't have an up-to-date sports section, 384 00:33:49,725 --> 00:33:52,726 work it throws off my whole day, starting with my morning dump. 385 00:33:52,811 --> 00:33:56,180 Honey, there's gonna be satellite TV in the hotel. 386 00:34:00,068 --> 00:34:01,396 Voila. 387 00:34:01,486 --> 00:34:04,607 Ah. I wonder what kind of wheels we got. 388 00:34:05,781 --> 00:34:09,483 I'm telling you, this is not the car. I specifically ordered a compact. 389 00:34:09,578 --> 00:34:11,120 This is a European compact. 390 00:34:11,204 --> 00:34:15,155 No! This is a Ringling Brothers compact. I've owned Tonka trucks bigger than this car. 391 00:34:15,250 --> 00:34:17,492 Honey, I looked at the brochure, 392 00:34:17,586 --> 00:34:22,414 and there was a Fiesta on the cover, not a Bingo. 393 00:34:22,508 --> 00:34:27,217 Aw. Baby needs a great big car to make him happy? 394 00:34:27,304 --> 00:34:30,425 We could really use a Dodge about now. 395 00:34:30,517 --> 00:34:33,884 We could really use a Dodge about now. 396 00:34:35,520 --> 00:34:37,015 What was that? 397 00:34:37,104 --> 00:34:38,978 You just sound so American. 398 00:34:39,065 --> 00:34:41,983 We could use a Dodge about now. 399 00:34:42,069 --> 00:34:45,319 While I'm makin' a doody, can you hand me my sports section and bare with that? 400 00:34:45,406 --> 00:34:47,398 Thank you very much, ma'am. 401 00:34:48,533 --> 00:34:50,692 Are you mocking me? 402 00:34:50,786 --> 00:34:53,241 No. Baby, just floor it. 403 00:34:53,330 --> 00:34:57,743 I am flooring it. If I pushed any harder, my foot would blow through the floor, 404 00:34:57,835 --> 00:35:00,076 and we'd be Flintstoning our asses there. 405 00:35:00,170 --> 00:35:02,329 Ooh, whoa, whoa, turn here! 406 00:35:10,722 --> 00:35:12,097 - You OK? - Yeah. You? 407 00:35:12,182 --> 00:35:13,641 Yeah. 408 00:35:16,395 --> 00:35:21,520 If you'd told me about the turn maybe before we pass it, I wouldn't have had to pull such a nascar crazy manuevere! 409 00:35:21,608 --> 00:35:25,273 I was busy looking at the map! Somebody had to navigate. 410 00:35:32,369 --> 00:35:36,497 Listen to us. We sound like an old married couple. 411 00:35:38,791 --> 00:35:40,867 Never again. 412 00:35:47,634 --> 00:35:51,714 Just for the record, why did I almost get us killed back there? 413 00:35:52,597 --> 00:35:54,720 Because that's our hotel. 414 00:35:55,976 --> 00:35:59,725 - It looks like a castle. - It is a castle. 415 00:35:59,813 --> 00:36:02,767 Then that's precisely why it looks like one. 416 00:36:04,609 --> 00:36:06,353 - Let's go. - OK. 417 00:36:26,047 --> 00:36:30,591 This is the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. 418 00:36:32,429 --> 00:36:34,505 Let's go. 419 00:36:48,236 --> 00:36:52,400 Ohh. Look, baby, look. It comes with free nuns. 420 00:36:52,491 --> 00:36:54,234 - Bonjour. - Bonjour. 421 00:36:54,326 --> 00:36:56,532 - Bonjour. Merci. - Bonjour. Merci. 422 00:36:56,619 --> 00:36:58,280 - Bonjour. - Bonjour. 423 00:36:58,372 --> 00:36:59,403 Merci. 424 00:37:00,540 --> 00:37:03,411 - Ah! Bonjour. - Bonjour. 425 00:37:03,502 --> 00:37:07,500 Merci. Bonjour. Merci. 426 00:37:07,589 --> 00:37:12,584 Bonjour. Merci. Bonjour. Merci. 427 00:37:12,677 --> 00:37:14,717 - Vous etes Americans? - Oui. 428 00:37:14,805 --> 00:37:17,924 Welcome to Hotel des Reves. I am Henri Margeaux. 429 00:37:18,016 --> 00:37:20,423 Nous sommes Sarah et Tom LeezaK. 430 00:37:20,519 --> 00:37:21,893 - Leezak, no! - Oui. 431 00:37:21,978 --> 00:37:23,852 - The honeymooners? - Oui. 432 00:37:23,938 --> 00:37:26,691 - No! - Oui. Why? 433 00:37:26,775 --> 00:37:30,523 So fresh and young to have marriage, no? 434 00:37:30,612 --> 00:37:32,687 No. We're married. 435 00:37:33,156 --> 00:37:35,826 I almost forget. 436 00:37:35,910 --> 00:37:38,530 Ooh, presents. 437 00:37:38,620 --> 00:37:42,072 "Congratulations. Have a wonderful honeymoon. Love... 438 00:37:42,833 --> 00:37:44,742 Peter. " 439 00:37:44,835 --> 00:37:47,408 That's a platonic "love". 440 00:37:49,047 --> 00:37:51,454 Forget about Peter. 441 00:37:51,550 --> 00:37:53,625 Here. Please enjoy. 442 00:37:54,802 --> 00:37:57,425 Room, all upstairs. 443 00:37:57,514 --> 00:38:00,598 Francois, les bagages, en haut. Tout de suite, s'il vous plaitt. 444 00:38:00,684 --> 00:38:02,012 Oh! 445 00:38:02,102 --> 00:38:04,308 - Bonjour! - Merci! 446 00:38:08,817 --> 00:38:12,601 Ohh! Tell me this isn't your fantasy. 447 00:38:15,282 --> 00:38:17,074 This is better than my fantasy. 448 00:38:17,158 --> 00:38:19,650 Good, cos we're paying out the ass for it. 449 00:38:19,744 --> 00:38:22,947 Honey, just for the record, when you talk about money, 450 00:38:23,039 --> 00:38:28,330 especially it coming out of your heinie, it sort of kills the romance of the moment. 451 00:38:28,962 --> 00:38:30,752 Right. Sorry. 452 00:38:33,549 --> 00:38:38,710 Now fight your deep urge to be cheap, and give the bellboy a large tip. 453 00:38:38,805 --> 00:38:39,968 All right. 454 00:38:40,056 --> 00:38:44,600 - Hey, do you guys provide satellite TV? - TV in bar. 455 00:38:46,063 --> 00:38:49,847 - So there's no TV in this room? - TV in bar. 456 00:38:53,069 --> 00:38:56,153 - Ask him if they have ESPN. - Pour I'amour de Dieu. 457 00:38:56,239 --> 00:38:59,442 Je lui ai dit, a monsieur, que la tele est dans le bar. 458 00:38:59,784 --> 00:39:04,327 Je crois que sa femme n'est pas vous. C'est la tele. 459 00:39:07,125 --> 00:39:09,830 He said the TV's in the bar. 460 00:39:13,964 --> 00:39:18,710 He also said that if he were here with me, he wouldn't be concerned with TV. 461 00:39:20,764 --> 00:39:22,259 He makes a point. 462 00:39:22,349 --> 00:39:26,891 - Oh, I gotta call Mom and Dad. - Talk about killing the romance. 463 00:39:26,978 --> 00:39:29,895 I told them I'd call. It'll just take a minute. 464 00:39:31,816 --> 00:39:34,223 Hi, Mom? It's Peewee. 465 00:39:34,318 --> 00:39:36,146 Oh, say hi to Pussy for me. 466 00:39:36,237 --> 00:39:37,946 Pussy... 467 00:39:40,074 --> 00:39:41,652 Tom says hello. 468 00:39:42,244 --> 00:39:44,817 Yeah. Oh, it's so great. 469 00:39:46,206 --> 00:39:47,534 Uh-huh. 470 00:39:47,624 --> 00:39:52,914 "To Tom and Sarah. Enhance thy honeymoon. Love, Kyle. " 471 00:39:53,505 --> 00:39:55,579 I'll call you later, Mom. Bye. 472 00:39:56,965 --> 00:40:00,170 Cheese and rice. Is that a Thunderstick A200? 473 00:40:00,261 --> 00:40:02,134 Since when did you become an expert? 474 00:40:02,221 --> 00:40:06,468 - I told you about that night I had in college. - You didn't tell me about the hardware. 475 00:40:06,559 --> 00:40:08,801 Getting a visual? 476 00:40:10,230 --> 00:40:12,685 We gotta charge this thing. 477 00:40:20,574 --> 00:40:25,034 - That plug won't fit in a European outlet. - I'll make it fit. 478 00:40:28,205 --> 00:40:29,403 Come on. 479 00:40:29,498 --> 00:40:30,529 Honey, Don't force it. 480 00:40:42,971 --> 00:40:44,844 Are you OK? Are you OK? 481 00:40:44,931 --> 00:40:49,676 Holy dude Jesus. Good thing that didn't happen when we were using it. 482 00:40:52,063 --> 00:40:53,178 Oh, God. 483 00:40:53,273 --> 00:40:56,688 Allez dans la cour, s'il vous plaitt, tout de suite. 484 00:40:56,776 --> 00:40:59,147 Come on! Come on, Thunderstick! 485 00:40:59,235 --> 00:41:02,854 - Oh, no. OK, just leave it. - Let's go, let's go, let's go. 486 00:41:29,851 --> 00:41:34,559 My grandparents installed the wiring in the hotel 487 00:41:34,647 --> 00:41:37,398 before World War First! 488 00:41:39,360 --> 00:41:45,363 It worked fine, until you young kids had to bring out your toys and ignore the sign! 489 00:41:50,914 --> 00:41:53,534 That is the... the... 490 00:41:53,624 --> 00:41:57,669 - That's in French, for christ sakes. - That's because we're in France. 491 00:41:57,754 --> 00:42:01,040 - Is there anything we could do? - Pay the damages. 492 00:42:01,133 --> 00:42:02,508 Hold on there, Jacques. 493 00:42:02,592 --> 00:42:05,462 Je m'appelle Henri Margeaux. 494 00:42:05,552 --> 00:42:09,881 Whatever! Look, this hotel gets guests from all over the world. 495 00:42:09,973 --> 00:42:12,975 It's your responsibility to put some American on your signs. 496 00:42:13,061 --> 00:42:14,388 He means English. 497 00:42:14,478 --> 00:42:17,100 Sarah I'm trying to negotiate. 498 00:42:17,189 --> 00:42:19,395 So I must make my hotel of dreams 499 00:42:19,483 --> 00:42:22,520 like every other Howard Johnson's, with a bright orange roof? 500 00:42:22,612 --> 00:42:25,945 - It wouldn't hurt. - Imbecile de cochon d'American. 501 00:42:26,032 --> 00:42:29,234 - Cochon what? - Stupid American pig. 502 00:42:29,326 --> 00:42:33,194 Oh. Oh, yeah? 503 00:42:33,289 --> 00:42:36,242 Well, I guess that makes you a stupid French... 504 00:42:37,168 --> 00:42:38,911 frog! 505 00:42:39,003 --> 00:42:41,042 Oh, yeah. I said it. Frog! 506 00:42:41,130 --> 00:42:43,372 You get out of my Hotel des Reves! 507 00:42:43,465 --> 00:42:46,881 I wouldn't stay in this dump if you paid us! 508 00:42:47,761 --> 00:42:50,632 - Let's go to the Ho Jo's honey. - There are no Ho Jo's here Tom. 509 00:42:50,722 --> 00:42:52,467 Sarah, please! 510 00:42:52,558 --> 00:42:56,852 There is a farm up the road. And they have a nice pigsty for you! 511 00:42:56,937 --> 00:43:00,142 Yeah? Well maybe they'll have a nice little bulldozer, 512 00:43:00,233 --> 00:43:03,483 and we can finish this place off, tough guy! 513 00:43:03,569 --> 00:43:07,068 And the credit card bill will be a fat one, Mr Tough Guy! 514 00:43:07,156 --> 00:43:11,782 Yeah? Well, we're keeping the champagne and the cheese, Jacques-strap! 515 00:43:13,495 --> 00:43:15,120 Let's go, honey. 516 00:43:16,916 --> 00:43:18,992 What's wrong? 517 00:43:20,044 --> 00:43:22,795 Where are we gonna stay, Tom? 518 00:43:22,879 --> 00:43:26,415 Don't worry. This is like a vacation zone. We'll find a place. 519 00:43:26,509 --> 00:43:28,466 Now get your shit. Let's go. 520 00:43:29,554 --> 00:43:31,463 What's the next place? 521 00:43:31,556 --> 00:43:37,595 The next hotel with no vacancy would be Schloss Hilliger Winterswald. 522 00:43:37,687 --> 00:43:40,640 - How far is it? - 120 kilometres. 523 00:43:40,731 --> 00:43:42,689 In miles, please! 524 00:43:42,774 --> 00:43:45,811 74.4. You multiply by 0.6. 525 00:43:45,903 --> 00:43:49,817 - I'm learning so much. - Oh, me too. Me too. 526 00:43:56,747 --> 00:43:58,372 Let me guess... 527 00:44:05,130 --> 00:44:07,704 This is great. This is just what we need. 528 00:44:07,801 --> 00:44:11,632 - Do you want me to drive? - Honey, I can drive in the snow. 529 00:44:14,390 --> 00:44:16,677 Turn off your brights, jackass! 530 00:44:48,840 --> 00:44:53,004 Great. Now we get to freeze to death. 531 00:44:55,848 --> 00:45:01,353 Look, we'll just... We'll sleep in here and we'll dig out in the morning. 532 00:45:01,437 --> 00:45:05,435 I'm so glad I get to hear the phrase "We'll dig out" on my honeymoon. 533 00:45:05,524 --> 00:45:07,351 Yeah. 534 00:45:10,780 --> 00:45:13,236 Just get it over with now and blame me. 535 00:45:13,324 --> 00:45:18,318 If you hadn't insulted Henri and never talked, we wouldn't be spending the evening in a snowball. 536 00:45:18,412 --> 00:45:23,999 I'm sorry. Next time, I'll try to be a little bit more refined like your friend Peter. 537 00:45:24,084 --> 00:45:26,872 - Good night, Tom. - Good night, Sarah. 538 00:46:02,915 --> 00:46:05,122 Are you gonna hate me forever? 539 00:46:05,208 --> 00:46:07,747 Mmm... 540 00:46:07,836 --> 00:46:11,288 I don't know. Hm... 541 00:46:14,093 --> 00:46:15,754 Wanna get drunk and make out? 542 00:46:15,845 --> 00:46:19,629 Well, that's not gonna get me drunk, but we could make out. 543 00:46:24,978 --> 00:46:28,062 We could get injured doing this. 544 00:46:28,148 --> 00:46:31,767 I'll settle for a cuddle. Just let me get the shifter out of my ass. 545 00:46:31,860 --> 00:46:33,936 OK. 546 00:46:42,830 --> 00:46:45,914 Sarah... It's morning. 547 00:47:05,644 --> 00:47:07,851 Oh, my God. 548 00:47:11,483 --> 00:47:13,607 - Oh, my... - Oh, my God. 549 00:47:13,693 --> 00:47:15,521 It's incredible. 550 00:47:15,945 --> 00:47:20,443 - Let's just stay here for the rest of the trip. - Fine with me. 551 00:47:27,749 --> 00:47:29,872 - Hey! Help! - Excuse me! 552 00:47:29,960 --> 00:47:31,159 Hey! 553 00:47:34,256 --> 00:47:36,830 Blue car, blue car! 554 00:47:36,925 --> 00:47:38,799 - Oh. - It worked. 555 00:48:11,001 --> 00:48:14,833 We can catch the two o'clock train to Venice and go straight to the Gianna. 556 00:48:14,921 --> 00:48:18,966 - Our reservation isn't until Tuesday. - So we'll stay a few extra days. 557 00:48:19,051 --> 00:48:21,423 I just put an entire castle on my credit card. 558 00:48:21,511 --> 00:48:24,797 We can't afford to stay at the Gianna for a few extra days. 559 00:48:24,890 --> 00:48:27,891 So I'll call my dad up, and he'll lend us the money. 560 00:48:27,977 --> 00:48:31,261 No, there's no possible way I'm taking money from your dad. 561 00:48:31,354 --> 00:48:33,727 Pride is the crutch of the insecure. 562 00:48:33,816 --> 00:48:36,650 You are not taking the money. I am taking the money. 563 00:48:36,735 --> 00:48:40,946 No, we don't need to take the money. This is about us now. 564 00:48:41,031 --> 00:48:44,815 Listen my dad told me about this nice little pensione in Venice... 565 00:48:44,910 --> 00:48:46,155 Pensione? 566 00:48:46,244 --> 00:48:49,365 - Grobes Scheibhaus. - Excuse me. 567 00:48:49,457 --> 00:48:51,413 Could you just drive? 568 00:48:51,499 --> 00:48:53,159 Please just let me call my dad. 569 00:48:53,251 --> 00:48:56,501 No! This is our honeymoon, not his. 570 00:48:56,588 --> 00:49:00,289 So it's fine to just stay at a pensione that your father recommended? 571 00:49:00,385 --> 00:49:04,333 But we're staying at the Pensione Funicello, and we'll gonna have a hell of a good time. 572 00:49:04,428 --> 00:49:08,640 I can't take this any more! Honeymoons are supposed to be all champagne 573 00:49:08,725 --> 00:49:12,508 and room service and lovemaking! We haven't made love! 574 00:49:12,603 --> 00:49:15,689 No. What do we get? We get evicted from a five-star hotel 575 00:49:15,774 --> 00:49:19,641 and, to boot, I'm yelling at you! We're yelling at each other. 576 00:49:19,736 --> 00:49:24,481 We're not yelling at each other. I'm the one that yelling. I'm sorry, I wanna go home. 577 00:49:24,574 --> 00:49:26,448 Maybe we should go home. 578 00:49:26,535 --> 00:49:29,950 I know this honeymoon hasn't been perfect, 579 00:49:30,038 --> 00:49:34,746 but I'm sure the pensione is gonna be fine. Look, we'll check in, sleep late, 580 00:49:34,834 --> 00:49:38,619 eat pasta, gaze out at the Piazza del... 581 00:49:39,880 --> 00:49:41,957 something-something. 582 00:49:42,884 --> 00:49:44,294 It's gonna be heaven. 583 00:49:54,938 --> 00:49:57,310 - Pensione Funicello? - Si, si. 584 00:50:01,736 --> 00:50:04,063 - Are you sure this is correcto? - Si, si. 585 00:50:06,365 --> 00:50:08,157 How bad could it be? 586 00:50:11,996 --> 00:50:13,870 Aw, crap. 587 00:50:19,212 --> 00:50:21,288 Hey... 588 00:50:21,380 --> 00:50:23,623 We're in this together, right? 589 00:50:25,802 --> 00:50:29,503 Do you have four men staring at your boobies right now? 590 00:50:30,683 --> 00:50:33,517 Che bella! Vieni qua, ragazza! 591 00:50:35,228 --> 00:50:36,639 No. 592 00:51:13,266 --> 00:51:15,092 Yeah, just... 593 00:51:15,184 --> 00:51:18,849 You know, we'll try it for one night, and if we don't... 594 00:51:18,938 --> 00:51:21,180 Live. 595 00:51:21,274 --> 00:51:26,860 .. like it, we'II, you know, go somewhere nicer tomorrow. 596 00:51:26,946 --> 00:51:28,773 - Grazie. - Grazie. 597 00:51:36,498 --> 00:51:39,203 This is actually happening! 598 00:51:43,963 --> 00:51:46,963 We're never gonna forget this honeymoon. 599 00:51:47,049 --> 00:51:48,248 Mm-mm. 600 00:52:18,581 --> 00:52:20,289 Sorry. 601 00:52:22,502 --> 00:52:23,699 Buonasera. 602 00:52:32,846 --> 00:52:38,718 Di su, di giu, dentro, sopra, fuori, sotto, non ce la faccio piu! 603 00:52:45,442 --> 00:52:48,015 We can show those paisanos how it's done. 604 00:52:52,823 --> 00:52:55,528 Cockroach, cockroach, cockroach! 605 00:52:55,618 --> 00:52:58,109 Oh, honey! honey, honey! I'll get him! 606 00:52:58,204 --> 00:53:00,328 OK, OK, OK. 607 00:53:00,415 --> 00:53:03,451 Let's get outta here, please! 608 00:53:03,543 --> 00:53:06,033 - We're checking out! - I don't wanna touch it! 609 00:53:06,128 --> 00:53:08,003 Get it off me! 610 00:53:12,302 --> 00:53:14,544 Thanks for the help, Daddy. 611 00:53:15,681 --> 00:53:18,681 I miss you. 612 00:53:18,765 --> 00:53:20,723 OK. Bye. 613 00:53:20,810 --> 00:53:22,684 Honey, he wants to talk to you. 614 00:53:22,769 --> 00:53:27,313 Can't you just tell him thank you from all of us here at the gorgeous Gianna? 615 00:53:29,402 --> 00:53:31,063 Shh. 616 00:53:36,535 --> 00:53:38,526 Hello there, Mr McNerney. 617 00:53:38,619 --> 00:53:42,534 Please bear in mind that our daughter loves him, Dan. 618 00:53:42,624 --> 00:53:48,828 Listen, Leezak, I don't expect a cracker like you to ever measure up 619 00:53:48,922 --> 00:53:52,753 to anything approaching what I'd consider a good match for my daughter. 620 00:53:52,842 --> 00:53:54,668 But I'll tell you what I do expect. 621 00:53:54,759 --> 00:53:59,387 I expect you to pay me back in full just as soon as that silly-ass radio show of yours 622 00:53:59,473 --> 00:54:01,679 yields any Kind of reasonable income. 623 00:54:01,767 --> 00:54:04,057 Goodbye, cracker. 624 00:54:05,980 --> 00:54:08,223 Ass-bag! 625 00:54:08,316 --> 00:54:10,985 - What was that? - He called me a cracker! 626 00:54:11,069 --> 00:54:13,311 A cracker, honey! 627 00:54:13,404 --> 00:54:15,481 He did not. 628 00:54:15,573 --> 00:54:19,868 That surprises you? Your dad hates me. "Well, wonderful, wonderful. " 629 00:54:19,953 --> 00:54:23,617 He's got your whole family praying that this marriage fails. 630 00:54:23,706 --> 00:54:26,279 That's not faired mom's never said a bad word about you. 631 00:54:26,375 --> 00:54:30,871 Wow, Pussy's never insulted me! Now I feel loved. 632 00:54:30,963 --> 00:54:33,454 Like your father's never judged me? 633 00:54:33,549 --> 00:54:36,668 No, he hasn't. Not once. 634 00:54:43,225 --> 00:54:45,018 Maybe we should just have sex. 635 00:54:45,103 --> 00:54:48,803 Call me crazy, but I'm just not in the mood to make love. 636 00:54:51,109 --> 00:54:55,901 I'm not, either. But we haven't had sex once since we've been married, 637 00:54:55,988 --> 00:54:59,191 and there is something very, very wrong with that. 638 00:54:59,282 --> 00:55:02,320 And I have to tell you... Why are you laughing? It's not funny! 639 00:55:02,412 --> 00:55:04,736 I'm sorry. 640 00:55:04,830 --> 00:55:07,156 I'm concerned. 641 00:55:07,249 --> 00:55:13,252 Let's go to sleep. We'll get a good rest, we'll sightsee tomorrow. 642 00:55:13,339 --> 00:55:15,415 Be fresh in the morning. 643 00:55:17,135 --> 00:55:18,759 Fine. 644 00:55:20,387 --> 00:55:22,761 And then we'll have sex. 645 00:56:15,568 --> 00:56:19,862 Imagine Ernest Hemingway sitting right over there at the Caffe Florian, 646 00:56:19,947 --> 00:56:24,693 just sipping a single malt, dreaming up his next masterpiece. 647 00:56:28,331 --> 00:56:30,538 Those birds are psychotic. 648 00:56:32,001 --> 00:56:34,835 History doesn't interest you at all, does it baby? 649 00:56:34,920 --> 00:56:40,162 Huh? Yeah, it does. I wasn't an art history major, though, so it's not like... 650 00:56:40,259 --> 00:56:43,841 You don't have to be an art history major to appreciate art. 651 00:56:43,929 --> 00:56:46,764 - Whoa, whoa. - What? What? 652 00:56:46,849 --> 00:56:49,007 Do you hear that? 653 00:56:49,101 --> 00:56:52,851 The bells? No? What is it, honey? 654 00:56:52,939 --> 00:56:55,015 What? 655 00:56:55,816 --> 00:56:57,609 - What? - Ahh... 656 00:56:57,693 --> 00:56:58,892 - What? - Shh! 657 00:56:58,987 --> 00:57:02,190 What are we listening to? 658 00:57:03,574 --> 00:57:06,064 What? What? What is it? I can help. 659 00:57:06,159 --> 00:57:09,410 - It's a message from God. It's a mes... - God? 660 00:57:09,497 --> 00:57:13,625 There's a ground ball... 661 00:57:13,709 --> 00:57:15,582 Jackpot! 662 00:57:17,505 --> 00:57:20,209 Honey, we still have to see the Tintorettos. 663 00:57:22,218 --> 00:57:27,461 Oh, the church art is unbelievable, 664 00:57:27,556 --> 00:57:30,130 but it all kinda looks the same to me. 665 00:57:31,769 --> 00:57:34,556 You know I love sports. 666 00:57:34,647 --> 00:57:38,264 I mean, I'm a sports freak. But how often are we in Europe? 667 00:57:38,359 --> 00:57:41,313 How often are the Dodgers on TV in Europe? 668 00:57:44,281 --> 00:57:48,860 You're right. You go watch sports. I'll go see the Tintorettos. 669 00:57:59,212 --> 00:58:00,791 - Honey... - Yeah? 670 00:58:00,882 --> 00:58:06,089 Is this a loving act of generosity, or am I gonna pay for this later? 671 00:58:06,929 --> 00:58:09,633 Does it make a difference? 672 00:58:09,723 --> 00:58:12,927 I'm gonna make this up to you huge. Huge. 673 00:58:13,019 --> 00:58:16,968 Tonight, everything is your choice. Dinner in a church, if you want. 674 00:58:22,152 --> 00:58:23,945 - I Meet you at the hotel. - Love you! 675 00:58:24,029 --> 00:58:26,318 I love you. 676 00:58:54,935 --> 00:58:57,176 Grazie. Grazie, grazie. 677 00:58:59,064 --> 00:59:01,141 Grazie, goddammit. 678 00:59:03,777 --> 00:59:05,356 Buongiorno, Fredo. 679 00:59:05,447 --> 00:59:09,526 Buongiorno, Mr Peter Prentiss. Buongiorno. Come stai? 680 00:59:09,617 --> 00:59:10,648 Bene, bene. 681 00:59:11,119 --> 00:59:13,156 Peter? 682 00:59:13,244 --> 00:59:16,614 - Peewee? What a surprise! - What are you doing here? 683 00:59:16,707 --> 00:59:18,082 - In Venice? - Yes. 684 00:59:18,166 --> 00:59:24,419 In Venice Nextron's buying out Ferrugia Chocolate, the deal that I'm working on so they sent me in to close the deal. 685 00:59:24,506 --> 00:59:29,085 - Did you get that cognac I sent you? - Yes. I thought it a tad inappropriate. 686 00:59:30,053 --> 00:59:32,461 I'm sor... I didn't, uh... 687 00:59:32,556 --> 00:59:35,261 I'm just trying to be the gallant loser here. 688 00:59:35,350 --> 00:59:37,510 - Peter... - Why don't we celebrate this great coincidence? 689 00:59:37,603 --> 00:59:39,809 I'll take you guys to dinner. 690 00:59:39,897 --> 00:59:42,305 I'm on my honeymoon. 691 00:59:42,400 --> 00:59:44,854 - My honeymoon. - Right, right, right. 692 00:59:44,942 --> 00:59:47,149 See? Yeah. 693 00:59:47,237 --> 00:59:49,692 I can be so thick sometimes. I'm sorry. 694 00:59:49,781 --> 00:59:53,197 I got a lot of work to do anyway, so I'm going to disappear. 695 00:59:53,285 --> 00:59:54,778 But you guys have fun. 696 00:59:54,869 --> 00:59:56,494 Oh... Peter, wait. 697 00:59:56,580 --> 00:59:58,074 I'm... 698 00:59:58,165 --> 01:00:00,620 I don't mean to be rude. 699 01:00:01,668 --> 01:00:03,745 You couldn't be rude if you tried. 700 01:00:04,505 --> 01:00:07,589 How's the honeymoon? It's good? It's a dream? 701 01:00:07,675 --> 01:00:09,086 - It's great. - Yeah? 702 01:00:09,177 --> 01:00:11,881 - Oh, yeah, great. - Where's Tom? 703 01:00:11,971 --> 01:00:17,594 Oh, he's at the, uh, the church with, uh... with... 704 01:00:17,684 --> 01:00:22,013 He's a huge history buff. Yeah. 705 01:00:23,690 --> 01:00:28,767 - It's good you guys share that passion. - Oh, yeah. Yeah. 706 01:00:29,947 --> 01:00:32,651 Uh, well... Bye. 707 01:00:41,333 --> 01:00:45,877 Fredo, I need to know where that little signora is at all times. 708 01:00:46,631 --> 01:00:49,500 Very bold, Mr Prentiss. 709 01:00:49,591 --> 01:00:51,086 Grazie. 710 01:00:55,639 --> 01:00:58,390 The Dodgers won! The Dodgers won! 711 01:00:58,474 --> 01:01:00,551 The Dodgers won, honey. 712 01:01:01,686 --> 01:01:06,729 See? I knew you were gonna make me pay for watching the game. 713 01:01:06,817 --> 01:01:10,268 No. No, it's not that. 714 01:01:11,571 --> 01:01:13,232 We need to talk. 715 01:01:15,826 --> 01:01:18,069 About what? 716 01:01:18,162 --> 01:01:20,238 Have you always told me the truth? 717 01:01:20,330 --> 01:01:23,830 Yeah. Except the time I told you I liked your brother Willie. 718 01:01:23,917 --> 01:01:26,669 - This is serious. - I am serious. I really don't like him. 719 01:01:26,753 --> 01:01:29,956 - Marriage is built on honesty and trust. - I totally agree. 720 01:01:30,048 --> 01:01:33,631 OK. Did you ever do something that you wanted to tell me about, 721 01:01:33,719 --> 01:01:36,506 but you couldn't because you felt bad about it? 722 01:01:36,597 --> 01:01:39,468 And the more time went on, the harder it got for you to tell me, 723 01:01:39,559 --> 01:01:43,852 and then it turned into this big fat lie, so you kept not telling me about it... 724 01:01:43,938 --> 01:01:46,475 Did you talk to Kyle? 725 01:01:46,564 --> 01:01:48,973 - No. Why? - No reason. 726 01:01:49,067 --> 01:01:51,819 - Does Kyle know something that I should know? - No. 727 01:01:51,904 --> 01:01:53,942 - You covered your nose. - I had an itch. 728 01:01:54,030 --> 01:01:57,481 You were hiding flared nostrils. What do you have to tell? 729 01:01:59,828 --> 01:02:01,701 OK... 730 01:02:01,787 --> 01:02:04,244 It's just... 731 01:02:04,333 --> 01:02:06,741 when Bags died, 732 01:02:06,836 --> 01:02:11,746 he didn't exactly die the way that I described it. 733 01:02:11,841 --> 01:02:16,717 Him chasing the squawking pigeons off the balcony? 734 01:02:16,804 --> 01:02:18,677 That. 735 01:02:18,764 --> 01:02:20,638 What happened? 736 01:02:20,725 --> 01:02:24,639 Well... OK, I'm reading my magazine, 737 01:02:24,728 --> 01:02:27,266 and I'm really I'm focusing, and I'm really into it. 738 01:02:27,355 --> 01:02:30,640 And along comes Bags. He comes trucking over, 739 01:02:30,733 --> 01:02:35,230 and he starts tugging on my ankle. 740 01:02:35,321 --> 01:02:38,323 And I was, like, "Bags, I'm... " I was like... 741 01:02:38,659 --> 01:02:42,027 I think I even said "I'm trying to focus. " 742 01:02:42,121 --> 01:02:47,826 And he looked up at me and gave me the "Hey, are you gonna play with me or not?" 743 01:02:47,918 --> 01:02:51,750 I was, like, "Yeah, I really just wanna read, though, Bags. " 744 01:02:51,838 --> 01:02:55,088 And... and... he started pulling at my ankle again, 745 01:02:55,175 --> 01:02:59,042 and so I grabbed the ball and I was, like, "Go get it, buddy. " 746 01:02:59,137 --> 01:03:04,380 I threw the ball over my shoulder, it went out the window, Bags dove, and he died. 747 01:03:05,476 --> 01:03:07,184 You killed Bags? 748 01:03:07,270 --> 01:03:10,769 - It was an accident. - And you lied about it all this time? 749 01:03:11,691 --> 01:03:15,606 - Actually, it was more of an omission. - No, it was more like a lie! 750 01:03:16,153 --> 01:03:17,732 Where are you going? 751 01:03:17,823 --> 01:03:21,654 - I have to figure out what to do with this. - What does that mean? 752 01:03:21,743 --> 01:03:24,495 I can deal with you being cheap and I can deal with you being a shitty driver. 753 01:03:24,579 --> 01:03:27,580 I cannot,not deal with you being a liar! 754 01:03:28,625 --> 01:03:31,460 Wait a second. 755 01:03:31,544 --> 01:03:34,830 This whole thing started with you wanting to talk about something. 756 01:03:34,923 --> 01:03:37,544 Well, I don't wanna talk about it right now. 757 01:03:38,551 --> 01:03:40,841 So you feeling guilty about something, too. 758 01:03:40,929 --> 01:03:45,472 Yes, there is something I "omitted" that I don't wanna talk about right now. 759 01:03:45,559 --> 01:03:48,513 You want a marriage based on trust and honesty? 760 01:03:48,603 --> 01:03:50,929 Well, here's your chance! Come on! 761 01:03:51,023 --> 01:03:54,142 Yeah, yeah, you got it! I can see it! Bring it! 762 01:03:54,234 --> 01:03:56,725 I slept with Peter Prentiss. 763 01:04:02,116 --> 01:04:03,148 What? 764 01:04:03,243 --> 01:04:06,659 - I slept with Peter... - I heard you. 765 01:04:06,746 --> 01:04:08,987 - I'm sorry. - I need to hear everything. 766 01:04:09,081 --> 01:04:11,407 - No, you don't. - Yes, I do. That's what I do. 767 01:04:11,500 --> 01:04:13,625 That's what I do. I need to know everything. 768 01:04:13,712 --> 01:04:17,662 Where you were, what you, what he did, how small his wiener was. Everything. 769 01:04:17,757 --> 01:04:21,755 - I was helping on an appraisal in Seattle... - I don't wanna hear it! 770 01:04:24,598 --> 01:04:27,385 - You slept with that... - It was a long time ago. 771 01:04:27,476 --> 01:04:28,804 - When? - Before we... 772 01:04:28,894 --> 01:04:30,009 - Got married? - Yes! 773 01:04:30,103 --> 01:04:31,135 - Engaged? - Of course. 774 01:04:31,229 --> 01:04:34,978 - Got together? - Yes... No, no. 775 01:04:35,066 --> 01:04:38,482 It was right after we met. My parents were pressuring me to... 776 01:04:38,569 --> 01:04:42,152 Aha. Imagine my surprise. 777 01:04:44,492 --> 01:04:47,576 I was confused. I'm in Seattle. 778 01:04:47,662 --> 01:04:50,865 He asked me out to dinner. The champagne is flowing... 779 01:04:50,957 --> 01:04:53,283 Please, try not to break into song. 780 01:04:53,710 --> 01:04:58,870 My feelings for you were very, very strong, 781 01:04:58,965 --> 01:05:01,374 and I needed to know that they were real. 782 01:05:01,468 --> 01:05:05,381 I wasn't brought up to manage feelings like that very well. 783 01:05:05,471 --> 01:05:09,765 Yeah. You had a real tough upbringing. 784 01:05:13,061 --> 01:05:16,147 - I need some air. - Yeah? Me too. 785 01:05:16,233 --> 01:05:19,019 Happy now? You broke it. 786 01:05:19,110 --> 01:05:21,400 By the way, Peter's staying at the hotel. 787 01:05:21,487 --> 01:05:23,610 That's funny! 788 01:05:29,412 --> 01:05:31,204 - Hooker! - Murderer! 789 01:05:52,894 --> 01:05:56,060 - What's the score? - 3-2, top of the ninth. 790 01:05:59,234 --> 01:06:02,069 Are you American? 791 01:06:02,154 --> 01:06:03,434 Good guess. 792 01:06:39,608 --> 01:06:41,600 Where's Tom? 793 01:06:41,693 --> 01:06:45,108 We don't feel the need to be with each other all the time. 794 01:06:46,573 --> 01:06:48,149 OK. 795 01:06:50,910 --> 01:06:55,406 I just find it odd that you're spending so much time apart 796 01:06:55,498 --> 01:06:57,575 on your honeymoon. 797 01:07:00,753 --> 01:07:02,877 Are you OK? 798 01:07:02,965 --> 01:07:06,630 Peter... just go, please. 799 01:07:08,011 --> 01:07:09,802 Go. 800 01:07:28,740 --> 01:07:31,230 Sarah, Sarah... 801 01:07:31,325 --> 01:07:34,909 - Why are you still here Peter? - I'm not gonna leave you here like this. 802 01:07:37,582 --> 01:07:41,580 Listen, I have a car. I'm having a quick drink at a friend's house. 803 01:07:41,669 --> 01:07:45,039 Just take a ride with me. You know? Catch your breath. 804 01:07:45,132 --> 01:07:47,206 I'll take you back to Tom. 805 01:07:54,307 --> 01:07:56,881 - Champagne? - Sure. 806 01:08:08,404 --> 01:08:10,860 And that's the ball game! 807 01:08:13,033 --> 01:08:15,822 Oh, my God. Oh, my God, I love this song! 808 01:08:15,912 --> 01:08:19,955 No, wait, I really shouldn't... I can't... No, listen. 809 01:08:21,125 --> 01:08:25,074 Bernardo Salviati can actually trace his family back to Machiavelli. 810 01:08:25,170 --> 01:08:26,416 Huh. 811 01:08:36,390 --> 01:08:40,340 Oh, wow. That's a big house. 812 01:08:40,436 --> 01:08:44,269 Nextron's thinking of buying it, turn it into a resort complex. 813 01:08:56,869 --> 01:08:58,494 Buongiorno, Bernardo! 814 01:08:58,579 --> 01:09:00,370 Peter, hello. 815 01:09:00,456 --> 01:09:04,074 Good to see you. Bernardo, Sarah McNerney. 816 01:09:04,168 --> 01:09:06,243 Ciao, Bernardo. 817 01:09:07,588 --> 01:09:10,957 Tell me, pretty one, what brings you to Venice? 818 01:09:11,050 --> 01:09:13,089 Oh, I'm on my honeymoon. 819 01:09:13,177 --> 01:09:14,636 - Your honeymoon? - Yeah. 820 01:09:14,721 --> 01:09:18,801 - She's so young to be married. - Why does everyone keep on saying that? 821 01:09:19,434 --> 01:09:20,893 Where is your husband? 822 01:09:20,977 --> 01:09:26,564 Oh, I'm going to meet up with him... you know, later. 823 01:09:27,650 --> 01:09:29,227 Yeah. Yeah. 824 01:09:29,318 --> 01:09:34,359 I was married for 27 years before my wife passed away. 825 01:09:34,448 --> 01:09:38,945 Believe me, the first months are the most difficult. 826 01:09:43,541 --> 01:09:46,245 Bernardo here's a little bit of a romantic. 827 01:09:48,713 --> 01:09:50,789 I love that. 828 01:09:51,549 --> 01:09:53,257 Let's have a drink. 829 01:09:54,009 --> 01:09:55,290 Please. 830 01:09:55,385 --> 01:09:59,133 You're on the radio? That's awesome! 831 01:10:00,724 --> 01:10:06,763 So, when are we gonna go back to do the neenoo-neenoo-neenoo? 832 01:10:07,189 --> 01:10:10,355 Whoa, yeah. I can't do that. 833 01:10:10,442 --> 01:10:15,519 Don't tell me all the cute conversation and air-humping is leading nowhere. 834 01:10:16,198 --> 01:10:19,366 No. Oh! 835 01:10:19,452 --> 01:10:24,612 OK, you mean when are we gonna...? 836 01:10:24,708 --> 01:10:27,078 Ah! OK. 837 01:10:27,167 --> 01:10:33,252 All right, so I'm gonna go and hit the... and then we'II... do that thing. 838 01:10:33,340 --> 01:10:35,914 - Cool. - OK. 839 01:10:36,010 --> 01:10:38,085 I'll be waiting! 840 01:10:53,402 --> 01:10:54,565 Whoa! 841 01:10:57,199 --> 01:10:59,949 And the hits just keep on comin'. 842 01:11:10,919 --> 01:11:14,704 Ciao. Can I get the key to 309, please? 843 01:11:14,798 --> 01:11:17,800 And do you know if my wife's up in the room? 844 01:11:17,885 --> 01:11:21,051 A good husband knows where his wife is at all time. 845 01:11:22,557 --> 01:11:26,720 And a good maitre d' answers questions when he's asked. 846 01:11:32,942 --> 01:11:35,348 Look, I'm not gonna pay you for an answer. 847 01:11:36,403 --> 01:11:38,811 In this case, you should. 848 01:11:48,916 --> 01:11:53,412 Your wife is in a car on her way to Salviati's... with Mr Prentiss. 849 01:11:54,129 --> 01:11:56,206 Mr Peter Prentiss? 850 01:11:59,218 --> 01:12:02,219 Of course. What's Salviati's? 851 01:12:02,304 --> 01:12:05,673 One of the oldest and most beautiful estates in Venice. 852 01:12:05,765 --> 01:12:10,013 - Maybe Mr Peter will buy it. - Of course Mr Peter will buy it. 853 01:12:10,104 --> 01:12:12,772 All right, where is this place? 854 01:12:17,527 --> 01:12:20,445 You can't go. You will be shot on sight. 855 01:12:20,531 --> 01:12:22,772 OK. That's... 856 01:12:22,867 --> 01:12:26,995 Uh, when are they coming back? 857 01:12:27,080 --> 01:12:30,365 Your wife and Mr Peter are out for the evening. 858 01:12:30,458 --> 01:12:32,415 You know what? Nah. 859 01:12:32,502 --> 01:12:37,744 I'm not gonna be waiting here for her when she gets back. 860 01:12:37,839 --> 01:12:39,631 Oh, no! 861 01:12:43,595 --> 01:12:47,641 Precipitevolissimevolmente. 862 01:12:48,685 --> 01:12:51,222 I wanna say that word! 863 01:12:53,064 --> 01:12:55,139 - Alla tua salute. - Salute. 864 01:12:55,983 --> 01:12:59,897 Sarah, Sarah. Sarah, maybe we should switch to water, huh? 865 01:13:04,158 --> 01:13:06,483 I think we should go find Tom now. 866 01:13:12,916 --> 01:13:15,952 That was the longest freakin' piss in Italian history. 867 01:13:16,044 --> 01:13:17,872 Hey, Wendy. 868 01:13:17,963 --> 01:13:22,043 Uh, I couldn't find you in the crowd. 869 01:13:24,053 --> 01:13:26,543 That's cool. You ready to go? 870 01:13:28,181 --> 01:13:30,804 Uh, yeah. Listen, um... 871 01:13:30,893 --> 01:13:35,271 Why don't I just walk you back to your hotel and drop you off? 872 01:13:35,356 --> 01:13:37,432 That sounds like a plan. 873 01:13:37,525 --> 01:13:40,193 OK. Um, what hotel are you staying at? 874 01:13:40,277 --> 01:13:42,352 What hotel are you staying at? 875 01:13:43,530 --> 01:13:45,606 Uh, the Gianna. 876 01:13:45,699 --> 01:13:47,987 Oh, my God! Me too! 877 01:13:48,076 --> 01:13:50,828 Yay. Wow. 878 01:14:04,468 --> 01:14:05,879 Um... 879 01:14:06,762 --> 01:14:10,546 Oh, my God. This is like a Twilight Zone. 880 01:14:10,641 --> 01:14:12,716 I couldn't agree with you more. 881 01:14:25,447 --> 01:14:27,820 We're here. 882 01:14:29,700 --> 01:14:33,366 Damn, I don't have my key. Can I use your phone? 883 01:14:33,455 --> 01:14:35,162 My... my phone? 884 01:14:35,248 --> 01:14:38,084 Yeah, to call downstairs. For my key. 885 01:14:41,004 --> 01:14:42,582 Yeah. 886 01:14:48,470 --> 01:14:52,253 Oh, oh, oh, oh, slow down there. I think you got the wrong room. 887 01:14:56,728 --> 01:14:58,306 Oh, my! 888 01:15:00,232 --> 01:15:01,264 Oh, God. 889 01:15:01,358 --> 01:15:04,229 Insult me, radio man! 890 01:15:06,072 --> 01:15:08,396 I'm on my honeymoon. 891 01:15:09,658 --> 01:15:11,486 Ew. 892 01:15:11,577 --> 01:15:14,150 Yeah, ew. 893 01:15:14,830 --> 01:15:16,906 - I'm telling you... - You pig! 894 01:15:38,145 --> 01:15:39,936 Grazie. Thank you. 895 01:15:41,649 --> 01:15:43,772 Grazie. Buonasera. 896 01:15:47,113 --> 01:15:49,400 What? What? 897 01:15:49,488 --> 01:15:51,362 - What? - I can't take this any more. 898 01:15:55,161 --> 01:15:57,237 I'm on my honeymoon! 899 01:16:01,001 --> 01:16:04,500 Calm down. You were just doing the same thing with Wendy. 900 01:16:04,588 --> 01:16:06,877 You have no right to be angry. 901 01:16:06,965 --> 01:16:09,539 - You slut! - Excuse me? 902 01:16:09,635 --> 01:16:13,134 You had your tongue down his throat. I saw it out the window! 903 01:16:13,847 --> 01:16:15,591 Did you see me slap him, then? 904 01:16:15,682 --> 01:16:17,806 Don't give me that. 905 01:16:17,893 --> 01:16:21,261 Some part of you wants him! Just say it! 906 01:16:21,354 --> 01:16:25,850 Fine. I'm not gonna lie any more. 907 01:16:25,942 --> 01:16:29,062 Certain things would be easier, given his background. 908 01:16:29,153 --> 01:16:33,614 And a small part of me thought that I wanted that once. A very small part. 909 01:16:37,662 --> 01:16:41,245 Why would you invite him on our honeymoon? 910 01:16:41,333 --> 01:16:45,200 I didn't invite him. I don't know how he found us. 911 01:16:45,295 --> 01:16:47,916 Oh, yeah? Well, maybe it was magic. 912 01:16:48,006 --> 01:16:51,210 No, Peter must be a warlock. 913 01:16:55,972 --> 01:16:57,431 That's yours. 914 01:16:57,516 --> 01:17:01,727 Yeah, sure. It matches perfect with my red leather panties! 915 01:17:03,604 --> 01:17:07,935 OK, I met a woman at a bar. Nothing happened. 916 01:17:08,027 --> 01:17:12,439 You picked up a total stranger at a bar, brought her back to our honeymoon suite, 917 01:17:12,530 --> 01:17:14,607 and took off her disgusting red bra? 918 01:17:14,699 --> 01:17:16,360 Nothing happened, I swear. 919 01:17:16,452 --> 01:17:20,117 No, the bra just jumped off her bare naked breasts. 920 01:17:20,204 --> 01:17:21,486 Sarah... 921 01:17:21,582 --> 01:17:26,823 You sit there and make me feel guilty for a kiss, a kiss that I didn't even want for the first place! 922 01:17:26,919 --> 01:17:29,624 Don't tell me you didn't want it! 923 01:17:30,464 --> 01:17:34,759 You wanted it! I could see from the balcony that you wanted it! 924 01:17:37,055 --> 01:17:39,297 I'm sorry. Oh, my God. 925 01:17:39,391 --> 01:17:41,513 Son of a biatch! 926 01:17:41,601 --> 01:17:44,306 - Oh, my skull is on fire! - Oh, oh, oh, OK... 927 01:17:45,647 --> 01:17:47,806 - Who is it? - Room service. 928 01:17:48,233 --> 01:17:51,649 Just... You just... 929 01:17:54,365 --> 01:17:56,441 - No, go away! - Listen, I'm leaving. 930 01:17:56,533 --> 01:17:59,153 Last chance. Come with me to Seattle. 931 01:17:59,243 --> 01:18:02,659 Hello, Peter. So glad you could join us. 932 01:18:03,832 --> 01:18:06,952 Welcome to the honeymoon from hell, shitheel! 933 01:18:07,044 --> 01:18:08,371 What are you doing, Tom? 934 01:18:08,461 --> 01:18:12,127 I think it's time for Peter and I to tangle! 935 01:18:12,216 --> 01:18:15,631 - See? You have no future with this lunatic! - Shut up! 936 01:18:15,719 --> 01:18:17,379 Tom, you're acting a little crazy! 937 01:18:17,471 --> 01:18:22,382 Maybe it's cos I just got hit in the head with a ten-pound ashtray! 938 01:18:22,935 --> 01:18:27,811 I gotta warn you, Leezak. I studied karate with a Chinese grandmaster. 939 01:18:27,898 --> 01:18:32,559 Yeah? Well, I hope he showed you how to pull a fire poker out of your ass! 940 01:18:32,652 --> 01:18:34,728 Tom, put the poker down. 941 01:18:38,617 --> 01:18:41,487 Fredo, call the police! 942 01:18:41,578 --> 01:18:42,609 Polizia! 943 01:18:42,704 --> 01:18:44,910 Move, move, move! 944 01:18:50,962 --> 01:18:53,833 You sat at our wedding! 945 01:18:53,924 --> 01:18:56,675 You heard us take our vows. 946 01:18:56,759 --> 01:19:02,098 And you still had the nerve to show up on our honeymoon 947 01:19:02,181 --> 01:19:04,851 and try to have sex with my wife! 948 01:19:10,981 --> 01:19:12,227 Run, you coward! 949 01:19:12,317 --> 01:19:14,393 You stay away from my wife! 950 01:19:17,030 --> 01:19:18,571 I didn't... 951 01:19:18,656 --> 01:19:22,903 - Please, stop! That's my husband! - Signorina, si calmi. 952 01:19:32,128 --> 01:19:34,536 - Maybe they were right. - Who? 953 01:19:37,092 --> 01:19:41,670 Everyone. They said that we were too young, 954 01:19:42,472 --> 01:19:45,806 and that we needed to get to know each other better. 955 01:19:48,311 --> 01:19:50,470 Maybe they were right. 956 01:19:51,689 --> 01:19:53,481 Maybe love isn't enough. 957 01:19:56,569 --> 01:20:00,519 Peter Prentiss vi ha pagato la cauzione. 958 01:20:00,615 --> 01:20:01,730 What did he say? 959 01:20:01,825 --> 01:20:04,066 Peter just bailed us out. 960 01:20:06,036 --> 01:20:08,409 Well, that's just jim-dandy. 961 01:20:10,040 --> 01:20:11,998 Forget it. 962 01:20:12,084 --> 01:20:14,244 - I'm going home. - Yeah, me too! 963 01:20:17,757 --> 01:20:20,128 Passports, please. 964 01:20:20,217 --> 01:20:24,715 Are you leaving with any fruit, vegetables or currency in excess of $10,000? 965 01:20:24,807 --> 01:20:29,966 No. No, but my husband does have two pounds of hash hidden in his rectum. 966 01:20:41,571 --> 01:20:47,610 The first sex I had on my honeymoon was with a man named Santino. 967 01:20:48,830 --> 01:20:50,739 And you're laughing? 968 01:20:52,291 --> 01:20:55,458 Excuse me, stewardess. Can I...? 969 01:20:57,088 --> 01:21:00,920 Uh, can I get one of those, uh... 970 01:21:01,009 --> 01:21:03,714 doughnut pillows? 971 01:21:04,345 --> 01:21:06,422 Yeah, right away. 972 01:21:09,058 --> 01:21:11,596 Sweet girl. 973 01:21:14,313 --> 01:21:16,555 Excuse me. Sorry. 974 01:21:16,649 --> 01:21:18,024 Argh! 975 01:21:32,290 --> 01:21:34,995 I feel like we've been married for 50 years. 976 01:21:35,084 --> 01:21:37,208 Oh, you should be so lucky. 977 01:21:40,215 --> 01:21:45,172 - Tell me how Peter ended up in our hotel. - Tell me what really happened with Red Bra. 978 01:21:46,094 --> 01:21:48,847 What? What? What are you looking at? 979 01:21:48,932 --> 01:21:52,929 - I hope you used a rubber. - No, I didn't! It didn't get that far. 980 01:21:53,018 --> 01:21:55,770 - I hope Peter used one though. - They don't sell condoms that big. 981 01:21:55,855 --> 01:21:58,227 Ha, ha, ha! 982 01:21:58,316 --> 01:22:01,685 That's funny. You hear that? We got a comedian on the plane. 983 01:22:01,777 --> 01:22:04,268 - You want me to make you laugh? - Yeah. 984 01:22:04,364 --> 01:22:07,033 You think I'm reall funny I'm moving out when I get home. How funny is that? 985 01:22:07,116 --> 01:22:09,572 - Great! - The second we get home. 986 01:22:09,661 --> 01:22:11,487 - I'm done talking now. - Me too. 987 01:22:14,164 --> 01:22:16,951 And that was it. Game over. 988 01:22:29,389 --> 01:22:31,761 - What's up? - She came back to the apartment. 989 01:22:31,850 --> 01:22:33,888 - Is she there now? - No, she left. 990 01:22:34,602 --> 01:22:37,390 - Did she say anything? - She took all her stuff. 991 01:22:38,188 --> 01:22:40,265 That can't be good. 992 01:22:41,568 --> 01:22:43,856 Oh, and she left you this. 993 01:22:44,237 --> 01:22:45,814 What's that? 994 01:22:50,617 --> 01:22:52,076 Beer? 995 01:22:52,786 --> 01:22:58,954 Come on, man. You're getting divorced. Breakfast beer is a must. 996 01:23:01,003 --> 01:23:04,123 - I need to talk to my dad. Give me a lift? - Sure. 997 01:23:08,136 --> 01:23:11,256 Gonna tell me what you're chewing on? 998 01:23:13,391 --> 01:23:15,882 I just don't know if love is enough any more. 999 01:23:15,977 --> 01:23:18,847 What do you mean, "enough"? 1000 01:23:18,937 --> 01:23:23,813 I mean, even if Sarah and I do love each other, 1001 01:23:25,069 --> 01:23:28,403 maybe we did need more time to get to know each other. 1002 01:23:31,783 --> 01:23:36,944 So... what you're saying here is 1003 01:23:37,039 --> 01:23:41,785 you had a couple of bad days in Europe, and it's over. 1004 01:23:43,963 --> 01:23:46,086 Time to grow up, Tommy. 1005 01:23:47,800 --> 01:23:52,461 Some days your mother and me loved each other. Other days we had to work at it. 1006 01:23:53,514 --> 01:23:56,515 You never see the hard days in a photo album. 1007 01:23:57,226 --> 01:24:01,889 But those are the ones that get you from one happy snapshot to the next. 1008 01:24:03,857 --> 01:24:09,730 I'm sorry your honeymoon stunk, but that's what you got dealt. Now you gonna work through it. 1009 01:24:11,240 --> 01:24:16,068 Sarah doesn't need a guy with a fat wallet to make her happy. 1010 01:24:16,161 --> 01:24:21,453 I saw how you love this girl. How you two lit each other up. 1011 01:24:23,544 --> 01:24:26,497 She doesn't need any more security than that. 1012 01:24:31,635 --> 01:24:32,963 Thanks, Dad. 1013 01:24:34,346 --> 01:24:36,422 Is it over? 1014 01:24:38,267 --> 01:24:40,259 Not even close. 1015 01:24:46,817 --> 01:24:50,187 What you do here, Tom Leezak? You no allowed here no more. 1016 01:24:50,280 --> 01:24:52,071 Open the gates, jack-in-the-box. 1017 01:24:52,156 --> 01:24:55,903 Me no jack-in-box! You jack-in-box! Go away now! 1018 01:24:55,992 --> 01:24:58,662 Don't make me break my foot off in your ass. 1019 01:24:58,746 --> 01:25:01,283 Look, Yuan, I just need to talk to her. 1020 01:25:01,372 --> 01:25:04,374 Relationship over. She no like you any more. 1021 01:25:04,460 --> 01:25:07,377 - Open the goddamn gate! - Shut up, Kyle! 1022 01:25:07,463 --> 01:25:10,583 Look, Yuan, did she actually say those words to you? 1023 01:25:10,675 --> 01:25:14,090 She say you have KiKi with bimbo. Same thing. 1024 01:25:15,388 --> 01:25:17,795 We are not leaving this intercom. 1025 01:25:17,890 --> 01:25:22,303 until Sarah herself confirms that she is shitcanning Tom! 1026 01:25:23,562 --> 01:25:24,641 We're not. 1027 01:25:24,730 --> 01:25:30,234 All right, that is damn straight! This is my wife! Now open up the gate! 1028 01:25:30,319 --> 01:25:32,608 Can't we give the guy a chance to explain? 1029 01:25:32,696 --> 01:25:34,736 Don't even think about it, Dickie. 1030 01:25:35,323 --> 01:25:38,988 Here's the deal either you're gonna open the gate, or I'm gonna open the gate. 1031 01:25:39,077 --> 01:25:40,620 Either way, I'm coming in! 1032 01:25:41,538 --> 01:25:46,247 - We'll sic the hounds on you, Leezak! - Bring 'em on, Willie! 1033 01:25:58,807 --> 01:25:59,836 What's going on? 1034 01:25:59,931 --> 01:26:03,431 You leave me no choice! I'm gonna have to ram the gate! 1035 01:26:03,519 --> 01:26:05,677 Oh, I am so down with that! 1036 01:26:08,398 --> 01:26:10,272 - What we do now? - Call the cops. 1037 01:26:11,944 --> 01:26:14,020 We call SWAT team on your ass! 1038 01:26:14,447 --> 01:26:20,484 I'm ramming the gate! I don't know if you're hearing, but I am going to ram your gate! 1039 01:26:21,620 --> 01:26:25,452 - What is the commotion in here? - Tom ram gate. 1040 01:26:32,380 --> 01:26:34,124 What the hell is this? 1041 01:26:34,550 --> 01:26:36,837 It's go time. 1042 01:26:54,570 --> 01:26:56,314 That is one strong gate. 1043 01:27:00,410 --> 01:27:01,441 Tom? 1044 01:27:16,258 --> 01:27:22,131 Look, Yuan, Willie, whoever else is listening... 1045 01:27:22,223 --> 01:27:27,098 You don't want me to be with Sarah, and I can't change that. 1046 01:27:27,186 --> 01:27:33,141 I don't know where we're gonna be in ten, 20, 40 years. 1047 01:27:33,233 --> 01:27:35,226 I don't know who we're gonna be. 1048 01:27:35,319 --> 01:27:39,317 I don't know if I'm ever gonna be able to give her all of this. 1049 01:27:40,448 --> 01:27:44,577 There are a million things that I don't know. 1050 01:27:45,204 --> 01:27:48,039 But there's one thing that I do. 1051 01:27:48,123 --> 01:27:51,123 And that's that I love Sarah. 1052 01:27:51,209 --> 01:27:55,754 And I am going to love her day in and day out 1053 01:27:55,839 --> 01:27:58,128 for the rest of my life. 1054 01:28:00,219 --> 01:28:02,507 Now, will you please... 1055 01:28:03,597 --> 01:28:05,673 please... 1056 01:28:07,059 --> 01:28:11,138 open the gate so I can tell that to my wife. 1057 01:28:35,671 --> 01:28:38,162 I'm sorry, man. 1058 01:28:38,882 --> 01:28:43,461 Sometimes when it's over, it's just... over. 1059 01:29:05,158 --> 01:29:08,860 Drop the love bomb, baby! Yeah! 1060 01:29:14,751 --> 01:29:16,542 Now do you get it? 1061 01:29:19,131 --> 01:29:21,372 I love him, Daddy. 1062 01:29:22,717 --> 01:29:24,840 Then go get him. 1063 01:29:55,250 --> 01:29:57,409 - Hi. - Hi. 1064 01:30:00,714 --> 01:30:02,956 - I'm sorry. - Me too. 1065 01:30:04,676 --> 01:30:07,215 I miss you. 1066 01:30:07,304 --> 01:30:09,795 I miss you, too. 1067 01:30:10,432 --> 01:30:13,802 I miss wrecking airplane bathrooms with you. 1068 01:30:13,894 --> 01:30:16,466 I miss sleeping with you inside a snowball. 1069 01:30:18,398 --> 01:30:21,482 And torching hotels in Europe. 1070 01:30:23,445 --> 01:30:27,525 I miss doing time in prison with you. 1071 01:30:38,001 --> 01:30:40,918 - Do you wanna try to...? - Definitely. 1072 01:30:41,305 --> 01:30:47,908 Support us and become VIP member to remove all ads from www.OpenSubtitles.org