1
00:01:38,464 --> 00:01:40,523
What was going on there, huh?
2
00:01:40,733 --> 00:01:42,633
We thought
you were sleeping, Daddy.
3
00:01:42,836 --> 00:01:46,101
How can I sleep with two
Twinkie burglars roaming around?
4
00:01:46,306 --> 00:01:48,171
Can we watch
Dragon Tales, please?
5
00:01:48,374 --> 00:01:50,968
Yeah. Why not, why not?
6
00:01:52,645 --> 00:01:54,510
Which one of these
turns on the TV?
7
00:02:09,662 --> 00:02:11,459
Honey, I think you
just opened the garage.
8
00:02:11,664 --> 00:02:13,461
I'm just planning ahead. I know.
9
00:02:15,068 --> 00:02:19,368
- P-yew! Was that a stinky-dink bug?
- Good job.
10
00:02:19,572 --> 00:02:21,335
Whatever happened
to the good old days...
11
00:02:21,541 --> 00:02:24,203
...when you pulled the knob
and on came the boob tube?
12
00:02:24,410 --> 00:02:27,072
The O'Doyles got
a universal remote control.
13
00:02:27,280 --> 00:02:29,339
One clicker controls everything.
14
00:02:29,549 --> 00:02:32,518
Makes life a lot easier
for old people like you.
15
00:02:33,453 --> 00:02:35,580
Well, whoop-de-do
for the O'Doyles.
16
00:02:35,788 --> 00:02:36,755
- tree house?
17
00:02:36,956 --> 00:02:39,254
I don't know. Ask your father.
18
00:02:39,459 --> 00:02:40,721
Ask me what?
19
00:02:40,927 --> 00:02:44,658
Do you think you'll have time
to finish building the tree house ever?
20
00:02:44,864 --> 00:02:48,823
Yeah, Dad. It's kind of been
halfway done for two months now.
21
00:02:49,435 --> 00:02:54,270
All right. I want to, it's just I got a lot
of things going on at work right now.
22
00:02:54,474 --> 00:02:58,774
But as soon as I'm done, I'm on it.
I promise. Hang in there.
23
00:03:00,947 --> 00:03:04,439
Hey, look at Sundance
wrestle his duck.
24
00:03:05,251 --> 00:03:07,185
Oh, no, that's not wrestling.
25
00:03:07,387 --> 00:03:11,187
That's something you shouldn't
know about for another 10 to 30 years.
26
00:03:11,391 --> 00:03:13,621
Ten for you. Thirty for you.
27
00:03:17,030 --> 00:03:19,294
Hey, Michael? I'll see you tonight
at the swim meet?
28
00:03:19,499 --> 00:03:21,057
Swim meet.
29
00:03:22,135 --> 00:03:24,433
- I gotta go to that?
- Yes.
30
00:03:24,637 --> 00:03:28,767
- I'm kidding you. I'll be there. Okay?
- All right. I love you, Michael.
31
00:03:28,975 --> 00:03:31,102
Forever and ever, babe.
32
00:03:31,811 --> 00:03:33,073
Mr. Newman.
33
00:03:33,279 --> 00:03:35,304
Kevin O'Doyle.
Yeah. Always a pleasure.
34
00:03:35,515 --> 00:03:38,746
What kind of stereo you got
in that blue piece of shit?
35
00:03:38,952 --> 00:03:41,113
You know what?
I never checked, Kevin.
36
00:03:41,321 --> 00:03:43,755
Yeah, well, my father's stereo
is a Bose.
37
00:03:43,957 --> 00:03:46,755
Your father's stereo blows?
That's too bad.
38
00:03:46,960 --> 00:03:50,487
No! I said- That's not what I said!
39
00:03:50,697 --> 00:03:53,894
His father's stereo blows!
40
00:03:57,203 --> 00:03:59,831
Come on! Pay the man, let's go!
41
00:04:06,179 --> 00:04:08,238
- Good morning, Mr. Newman.
- Good morning.
42
00:04:08,448 --> 00:04:09,881
- Good morning, Mr. Newman.
- Hello.
43
00:04:10,083 --> 00:04:12,176
- Good morning, Mr. Newman.
- Hi.
44
00:04:13,186 --> 00:04:15,017
Good morning, Mr. Newman.
45
00:04:15,221 --> 00:04:16,882
- Good morning, Mr. Newman.
- Man, Alice...
46
00:04:17,090 --> 00:04:20,287
...I was stuck in traffic for an hour
and a half. When's the meeting?
47
00:04:21,494 --> 00:04:23,621
- It started already.
- What?
48
00:04:24,397 --> 00:04:25,659
Can I go to the bathroom?
49
00:04:25,865 --> 00:04:28,459
Go to the bathroom.
I told you, you don't have to ask me.
50
00:04:35,708 --> 00:04:37,733
Well, the interesting thing,
Prince Habeeboo...
51
00:04:37,944 --> 00:04:40,777
...is that the building codes
in Manhattan will allow us-
52
00:04:40,980 --> 00:04:42,971
- Michael.
- Sorry I'm late, sir.
53
00:04:43,182 --> 00:04:46,310
Some moron in a red Lamborghini
parked in my spot so-
54
00:04:46,519 --> 00:04:49,716
Prince Habeeboo
drive red Lamborghini.
55
00:04:50,590 --> 00:04:53,354
Red Lamborghini?
I meant blue Ferrari.
56
00:04:54,060 --> 00:04:56,324
Is this one of your partners?
57
00:04:56,529 --> 00:04:58,554
Actually, Michael
is just an associate.
58
00:04:58,765 --> 00:05:01,063
But he is one of our brightest
young architects.
59
00:05:01,267 --> 00:05:02,234
Thank you.
60
00:05:02,435 --> 00:05:04,460
Walk His Majesty
through our design concept.
61
00:05:04,670 --> 00:05:06,365
With pleasure.
62
00:05:07,173 --> 00:05:09,698
- Prince Haboobee-
- Habeeboo!
63
00:05:10,376 --> 00:05:12,401
Prince Habeeboo.
64
00:05:12,612 --> 00:05:15,103
Habeeboo. I thought I said that.
65
00:05:15,314 --> 00:05:17,976
When Mr. Ammer explained to me
the type of man you are...
66
00:05:18,184 --> 00:05:22,018
...a visionary who prides himself
on originality...
67
00:05:22,221 --> 00:05:27,022
...I said to myself, "Let's smash
the mold and redefine elegance. "
68
00:05:27,226 --> 00:05:29,490
So I present to you your restaurant.
69
00:05:29,695 --> 00:05:31,185
Where is- Where's bar?
70
00:05:31,397 --> 00:05:35,060
Bar is- Here's the bar.
Now, the waterfall-
71
00:05:35,268 --> 00:05:36,326
Make bar longer.
72
00:05:37,770 --> 00:05:41,501
Okay. We could cut
into the atrium a little bit.
73
00:05:41,707 --> 00:05:46,235
No atrium. Just make bar longer
for Prince Habeeboo.
74
00:05:46,446 --> 00:05:47,413
Really?
75
00:05:49,582 --> 00:05:51,709
- Still itchy?
- You got it.
76
00:05:53,019 --> 00:05:56,284
And put big drain in floor
for wet T-shirt contest.
77
00:05:56,489 --> 00:05:58,013
Now, you're kidding me, right?
78
00:05:58,224 --> 00:06:00,249
Boob water's gotta
go someplace, Michael.
79
00:06:00,460 --> 00:06:03,827
Let's just take out the atrium and
run with that and there's your drain.
80
00:06:04,030 --> 00:06:07,522
- God.
- I love it. It is simply awesome.
81
00:06:08,101 --> 00:06:13,061
Yeah. Basically you want me to design
you an Arabian hoochie house?
82
00:06:13,272 --> 00:06:15,740
How dare you compare
Prince Habeeboo's Bikini Hut...
83
00:06:15,942 --> 00:06:17,876
- ... to this hoochie house?
- This idea's...
84
00:06:18,077 --> 00:06:20,443
...got nothing to do
with hoochies, Michael.
85
00:06:20,646 --> 00:06:22,136
It's like opposite of hoochie.
86
00:06:22,348 --> 00:06:24,145
No disrespect,
Prince Hubbida Hubbida.
87
00:06:24,350 --> 00:06:26,079
- Hubba Bubba.
- Habeeboo!
88
00:06:26,285 --> 00:06:29,379
Habeeboo!
Hubba Bubba is chewing gum.
89
00:06:29,589 --> 00:06:31,022
Prince Habeeboo's
not chewing gum.
90
00:06:31,224 --> 00:06:35,786
Prince Habeeboo, we will-
I will make this happen.
91
00:06:37,563 --> 00:06:38,530
John Ammer's office.
92
00:06:38,731 --> 00:06:41,700
I hope that atrium idea didn't take
too long to configure, Michael.
93
00:06:41,901 --> 00:06:44,665
Oh, there'll be other Junes
in my life, sir.
94
00:06:44,871 --> 00:06:49,433
See that parking garage
over there on 56?
95
00:06:49,742 --> 00:06:54,008
Watsuhita wants to knock it down
and build a luxury hotel.
96
00:06:54,213 --> 00:06:55,737
- You got the commission?
- Not yet.
97
00:06:55,948 --> 00:07:01,011
I just need someone to come up
with a design proposal. Intrigued?
98
00:07:02,922 --> 00:07:04,116
Hell, yes.
99
00:07:04,323 --> 00:07:07,451
I'm Fourth of July-ing with the kids.
When I get back, I'm all over it.
100
00:07:07,660 --> 00:07:12,029
Great. Have a great Fourth of July
with the kids. I'll put Swardson on it.
101
00:07:12,231 --> 00:07:16,031
No, no. Absolutely not.
I- I- Can't it just wait three days?
102
00:07:16,235 --> 00:07:19,033
These guys are Japanese.
They can't wait for their fish to cook.
103
00:07:21,607 --> 00:07:23,768
I guess I could talk to my wife.
104
00:07:23,976 --> 00:07:26,638
Great. See you later at happy hour
with Prince Habadabee.
105
00:07:27,313 --> 00:07:31,147
My son has a swim meet tonight
that I have to get to s-
106
00:07:31,350 --> 00:07:33,113
I'm just messing with you.
We're good.
107
00:07:38,324 --> 00:07:40,792
Yeah, Ben!
108
00:07:49,068 --> 00:07:53,664
That's my boy! That's my boy!
Kid, you were great!
109
00:07:54,106 --> 00:07:55,630
You're not my dad.
110
00:07:56,576 --> 00:07:59,238
- As far as you know.
- What?
111
00:08:00,613 --> 00:08:02,478
I was just joking.
112
00:08:02,682 --> 00:08:05,742
Is he really my dad?
113
00:08:05,952 --> 00:08:09,285
Come on, come on! Yes, Ben.
Yes, you did it!
114
00:08:09,488 --> 00:08:10,682
Honey, you were so great.
115
00:08:10,890 --> 00:08:14,348
Whoa, what are you, half a dolphin
or something? That was incredible.
116
00:08:14,560 --> 00:08:16,323
You just got here, Dad. I saw you.
117
00:08:17,430 --> 00:08:19,921
What do you mean I just got here?
Why are you saying that?
118
00:08:20,132 --> 00:08:22,100
I saw you. You jumped in there,
you swam here.
119
00:08:22,301 --> 00:08:25,896
- Then what stroke was he doing, Dad?
- He was doing the shut-up.
120
00:08:27,373 --> 00:08:30,774
Hey. Good thing is,
Daddy was here to see you finish.
121
00:08:30,977 --> 00:08:32,001
He didn't see me finish.
122
00:08:32,211 --> 00:08:34,441
He was hanging out
with Ping Woo for some reason.
123
00:08:34,647 --> 00:08:37,081
- Yeah, what was that about, huh?
- The kid was drowning.
124
00:08:37,283 --> 00:08:38,409
I'm gonna let him drown?
125
00:08:39,285 --> 00:08:40,912
Nobody goes drowning in my pool.
126
00:08:41,120 --> 00:08:43,680
How you doing? Bill Herlihy.
Ben's coach. You must be Dad.
127
00:08:43,889 --> 00:08:46,551
Michael Speedo-
Michael Newman. Sorry.
128
00:08:47,059 --> 00:08:49,721
Big Ben, that was great progress
out there, huh?
129
00:08:49,929 --> 00:08:52,762
Just remember, right arm out,
head turns left. Left arm out-
130
00:08:52,965 --> 00:08:55,593
Head turns right. I know.
I just forgot at the end.
131
00:08:55,801 --> 00:08:56,825
Well, that's all right.
132
00:08:57,036 --> 00:09:00,335
You master that, people are gonna
think you're a half a dolphin out there.
133
00:09:00,539 --> 00:09:02,598
- Really?
- Yeah.
134
00:09:03,476 --> 00:09:04,875
Cute.
135
00:09:05,544 --> 00:09:07,705
Hello? Mr. Ammer.
136
00:09:15,821 --> 00:09:18,585
Ben, honey, slow down.
It's not a race.
137
00:09:18,791 --> 00:09:20,486
That's his second one
in five minutes.
138
00:09:20,693 --> 00:09:22,388
Keeps eating more and more.
139
00:09:22,595 --> 00:09:25,496
He's like a machine.
He can't still be hungry.
140
00:09:25,698 --> 00:09:29,190
He's not. He's just doing whatever
Michael's doing. It's driving me crazy.
141
00:09:29,402 --> 00:09:33,065
Everything Michael's been doing lately
is very unhealthy for him.
142
00:09:33,272 --> 00:09:35,638
He's gonna kill himself.
143
00:09:36,409 --> 00:09:39,003
Like a signature building
we're talking about.
144
00:09:39,211 --> 00:09:40,610
Oh, my God.
145
00:09:42,448 --> 00:09:44,006
Scared the crap out of me.
146
00:09:44,617 --> 00:09:46,983
Dad, how much longer
are you gonna live?
147
00:09:47,987 --> 00:09:50,581
- One minute.
- One minute?
148
00:09:50,790 --> 00:09:52,883
- Daddy's gonna die in one minute!
- Oh, no, honey.
149
00:09:53,092 --> 00:09:54,457
Don't worry. I'm not dying.
150
00:09:54,660 --> 00:09:58,528
I'm gonna live for 200 years.
Is that long enough for you and me?
151
00:09:59,098 --> 00:10:02,829
- Promise?
- I promise. Swear. Come here.
152
00:10:04,170 --> 00:10:05,797
You son of a bitch!
153
00:10:06,005 --> 00:10:08,769
Hey! There are families here!
154
00:10:08,974 --> 00:10:11,306
Show some respect,
you pieces of shit!
155
00:10:12,044 --> 00:10:14,808
Go home and watch VH1, old man.
156
00:10:15,014 --> 00:10:17,847
Don't light another damn one!
157
00:10:19,151 --> 00:10:21,676
Benjamin. Benjamin.
What am I holding?
158
00:10:21,887 --> 00:10:24,685
A quarter. Now, Grandma
does not let me eat ice cream...
159
00:10:24,890 --> 00:10:26,482
- ... because of my diabetes.
- True.
160
00:10:26,692 --> 00:10:30,355
But she says nothing, however,
about a tasty quarter.
161
00:10:30,796 --> 00:10:32,058
Okay.
162
00:10:34,266 --> 00:10:35,858
All right. All right.
163
00:10:36,068 --> 00:10:39,799
Very quickly, please, count to three
because it tastes terrible.
164
00:10:40,005 --> 00:10:43,338
One, two, three.
165
00:10:44,977 --> 00:10:46,604
Are you shitting me?
166
00:10:46,812 --> 00:10:49,576
First he's eating like his father,
now you're talking like him?
167
00:10:49,782 --> 00:10:52,148
- Ben.
- Don't you ever say that again.
168
00:10:52,351 --> 00:10:55,684
- Sorry, Grandma.
- How do you do that, Grandpa?
169
00:10:56,055 --> 00:10:58,751
A good magician
never reveals his secrets.
170
00:10:58,958 --> 00:11:01,552
Your daddy has wanted to know
how I've done that trick...
171
00:11:01,761 --> 00:11:02,887
...since he was your age.
172
00:11:03,095 --> 00:11:04,494
Isn't that true, son?
173
00:11:04,697 --> 00:11:07,029
Hey, Michael.
Michael, who are you talking to?
174
00:11:07,233 --> 00:11:10,225
Jesus. I'm talking to my boss, Ma.
Take it easy.
175
00:11:10,436 --> 00:11:12,097
Oh, yeah?
Well, tell him to get a life.
176
00:11:12,304 --> 00:11:14,534
You got family here.
You're busy. Come on.
177
00:11:14,740 --> 00:11:16,071
My mother says hello.
178
00:11:16,275 --> 00:11:18,505
Oh, he's such a big boy, isn't he?
179
00:11:18,711 --> 00:11:22,044
On his big cell phone. Big boy.
180
00:11:22,248 --> 00:11:27,584
That's it. Get some sleep. Thank you,
Mr. Ammer. All right. Good night.
181
00:11:27,787 --> 00:11:30,221
- Are you done? Can we relax now?
- Sorry.
182
00:11:31,857 --> 00:11:34,291
Eat me, grandpa!
183
00:11:34,727 --> 00:11:35,785
You're dead.
184
00:11:36,462 --> 00:11:39,727
- Oh, shit!
- Yeah, you better run!
185
00:11:39,932 --> 00:11:41,729
I kicked your father's ass
in high school!
186
00:11:41,934 --> 00:11:43,265
Now I'm gonna kick yours!
187
00:11:43,469 --> 00:11:46,199
I hate that man.
188
00:11:46,505 --> 00:11:48,632
Okay, good night, you two cowboys.
189
00:11:48,841 --> 00:11:51,332
- Reach for the sky, Pocahontas.
- No, back to bed.
190
00:11:51,544 --> 00:11:55,139
Come on. Pocahontas is off duty.
I'm out of here.
191
00:11:58,117 --> 00:12:00,312
You getting sick, sheriff?
192
00:12:00,753 --> 00:12:02,812
I don't got time to be sick, so no.
193
00:12:03,022 --> 00:12:05,889
I need to watch this documentary
on Asian architecture.
194
00:12:06,091 --> 00:12:08,821
Well, you gotta get some rest
sometime, sweetheart.
195
00:12:09,028 --> 00:12:11,292
Besides, the woodland creatures
will laugh at you...
196
00:12:11,497 --> 00:12:14,091
...if you collapse trying
to put up the tent this weekend.
197
00:12:15,201 --> 00:12:18,728
Yeah. I forgot to tell you.
198
00:12:19,171 --> 00:12:21,264
We gotta postpone
the camping trip.
199
00:12:21,974 --> 00:12:23,839
Ammer put me on a project.
200
00:12:24,043 --> 00:12:26,443
It's due Tuesday. If I don't finish,
I'm off it, so...
201
00:12:26,645 --> 00:12:28,806
The kids have been talking
about camping all year.
202
00:12:29,014 --> 00:12:30,106
Think I don't know that?
203
00:12:30,316 --> 00:12:32,580
It's just every choice I make,
everything I do...
204
00:12:32,785 --> 00:12:34,685
...I disappoint somebody.
205
00:12:34,887 --> 00:12:37,481
Make sure you don't keep
disappointing the wrong people.
206
00:12:37,690 --> 00:12:40,215
I'm not out drinking or gambling
or hitting on chicks.
207
00:12:40,426 --> 00:12:43,190
I'm working my ass off
so my family can have a better life...
208
00:12:43,395 --> 00:12:45,158
...than I dreamed of
when I was a kid.
209
00:12:45,698 --> 00:12:49,293
The only way for that to happen
is for me to watch this stinking show!
210
00:12:49,502 --> 00:12:51,333
So relax, hon.
211
00:12:54,874 --> 00:12:56,364
Are you kidding me?
212
00:12:56,575 --> 00:12:59,601
Will you give me a break one time?
213
00:13:00,079 --> 00:13:03,640
Damn it! The O'Doyles got
a stinking universal remote control.
214
00:13:03,849 --> 00:13:05,680
We're gonna have one too.
215
00:13:05,885 --> 00:13:07,648
I'm sick of this.
216
00:13:12,258 --> 00:13:14,726
You want me to open
the garage for you?
217
00:13:27,706 --> 00:13:28,673
Closed.
218
00:13:31,410 --> 00:13:32,377
Closed.
219
00:13:34,213 --> 00:13:35,180
Open.
220
00:13:35,381 --> 00:13:37,713
Bed Bath & Beyond it is.
221
00:13:43,088 --> 00:13:44,715
Hey, man?
222
00:13:44,924 --> 00:13:47,859
You guys got any universal
remote controls in there?
223
00:13:48,060 --> 00:13:50,927
- For a shower curtain or a bathmat?
- For a television.
224
00:13:51,764 --> 00:13:54,062
I don't think so.
Maybe for a blanket?
225
00:13:54,266 --> 00:13:55,858
You got a remote for a blanket?
226
00:13:56,602 --> 00:13:59,036
Sorry, I don't work here.
I'm waiting for my friends.
227
00:13:59,238 --> 00:14:00,603
You're kidding me.
228
00:14:00,806 --> 00:14:03,832
Actually, yes. I don't have any friends.
Will you be my friend?
229
00:14:07,980 --> 00:14:09,607
Wow, man.
230
00:14:12,585 --> 00:14:15,349
Bed. Bed.
231
00:14:15,554 --> 00:14:18,318
Bath. Bath.
232
00:14:18,524 --> 00:14:20,219
Bed.
233
00:14:22,394 --> 00:14:25,056
So tired of my life.
234
00:14:30,769 --> 00:14:31,963
Beyond?
235
00:15:09,008 --> 00:15:10,839
Sorry to sneak up on you. I just-
236
00:15:11,043 --> 00:15:13,341
You guys got a universal
remote control back here?
237
00:15:15,714 --> 00:15:18,979
Something stinks
like stale french fries.
238
00:15:20,352 --> 00:15:22,320
All right, that's probably me.
239
00:15:22,521 --> 00:15:25,319
You know, fast food
shortens your life.
240
00:15:25,524 --> 00:15:26,752
Yeah, that's what I heard.
241
00:15:26,959 --> 00:15:30,122
But the way my life's been going
lately, that ain't such a bad thing.
242
00:15:30,329 --> 00:15:32,490
You're looking
for a universal remote control?
243
00:15:32,698 --> 00:15:35,132
Yeah. Just one device
to do it all for me...
244
00:15:35,334 --> 00:15:39,464
...make my life a little easier,
quicker, not so damn complicated.
245
00:15:39,672 --> 00:15:43,108
I'm not supposed to do this,
but you seem like a good guy.
246
00:15:43,308 --> 00:15:44,935
Hey. Somebody noticed. Thank you.
247
00:15:45,144 --> 00:15:47,203
I'm gonna show you a remote
we just got in...
248
00:15:47,413 --> 00:15:49,973
...that's probably the most advanced
piece of technology...
249
00:15:50,182 --> 00:15:51,274
...we have in this place.
250
00:15:51,650 --> 00:15:54,380
- Sounds sweet.
- It is sweet.
251
00:15:54,586 --> 00:15:59,216
The latest, greatest universal remote
not even on the market yet.
252
00:15:59,425 --> 00:16:04,158
I guess the O'Doyles' remote can bite
my advanced-technological ass then.
253
00:16:04,363 --> 00:16:06,854
I don't know the O'Doyles...
254
00:16:08,067 --> 00:16:09,728
...but they can bite it hard.
255
00:16:09,935 --> 00:16:11,300
Yeah.
256
00:16:11,503 --> 00:16:12,902
Come in the back with me.
257
00:16:13,405 --> 00:16:14,929
Okay.
258
00:16:15,908 --> 00:16:18,138
This is- This is very nice of you.
259
00:16:18,610 --> 00:16:21,477
- What's your name, anyways?
- Call me Morty.
260
00:16:21,680 --> 00:16:22,977
Morty, I'm Michael Newman.
261
00:16:23,382 --> 00:16:25,441
Michael Newman.
262
00:16:27,286 --> 00:16:29,186
I'm about to rock your world.
263
00:16:29,621 --> 00:16:30,815
Okay.
264
00:16:40,165 --> 00:16:43,965
I gotta be honest with you. This place
looks bigger from the outside.
265
00:16:44,169 --> 00:16:45,932
Just kidding.
266
00:16:47,339 --> 00:16:48,704
Hey, hey.
267
00:17:07,826 --> 00:17:09,623
I think maybe there in the middle?
268
00:17:22,741 --> 00:17:24,709
Sneaky.
269
00:17:29,982 --> 00:17:32,212
Where's the box?
Does it come with directions?
270
00:17:32,417 --> 00:17:33,941
Not necessary.
271
00:17:34,153 --> 00:17:37,714
Just point, click.
272
00:17:37,923 --> 00:17:40,050
Eventually, it will program itself.
273
00:17:42,961 --> 00:17:43,950
How much is this thing?
274
00:17:44,163 --> 00:17:46,654
Because I ain't exactly
Thurston Howell, you know?
275
00:17:46,865 --> 00:17:50,164
Lucky for you, it's not
in the bar-code system yet.
276
00:17:50,369 --> 00:17:53,634
So I'm gonna have
to just give it to you.
277
00:17:53,839 --> 00:17:56,273
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
What's the catch here, man?
278
00:17:56,475 --> 00:17:59,911
Want me to take my shirt off for you?
Because I don't play for that team.
279
00:18:00,112 --> 00:18:02,808
Hey. Man, get out of here.
280
00:18:03,649 --> 00:18:04,980
Why are you doing this, then?
281
00:18:05,184 --> 00:18:08,915
Because good guys need a break
every once in a while.
282
00:18:09,922 --> 00:18:11,116
Take it.
283
00:18:11,957 --> 00:18:12,924
Enjoy.
284
00:18:15,861 --> 00:18:17,089
All right.
285
00:18:17,296 --> 00:18:19,594
Only one thing
you need to know, Michael.
286
00:18:19,798 --> 00:18:22,460
This item is nonreturnable.
287
00:18:22,668 --> 00:18:26,195
Why would I wanna return something
I got for free?
288
00:18:47,593 --> 00:18:50,460
Twinkie. You don't need it.
You don't need it, man.
289
00:18:50,662 --> 00:18:53,961
You do need a Yodel, though.
Okay. Good job.
290
00:18:54,466 --> 00:18:56,991
Let's see what you got, mate.
291
00:19:04,443 --> 00:19:08,709
Look at me, turning my own TV on.
I'm a freaking whiz kid.
292
00:19:09,848 --> 00:19:11,748
- residential architecture...
293
00:19:11,950 --> 00:19:13,815
- So I talked to the kids.
- Oh, yeah?
294
00:19:14,019 --> 00:19:16,852
They're very understanding about
not going camping this weekend.
295
00:19:17,055 --> 00:19:19,819
- Great.
- They could have a sleepover instead.
296
00:19:20,025 --> 00:19:22,289
That's a great idea.
Thank you, thank you.
297
00:19:22,494 --> 00:19:25,122
Thanks for being
so cool about this too.
298
00:19:25,330 --> 00:19:27,764
- Can I ask you something?
- Yes.
299
00:19:27,966 --> 00:19:31,925
After you do all this work and become
a big player at your company...
300
00:19:32,137 --> 00:19:34,435
...do you think you're gonna
have more time for us...
301
00:19:34,640 --> 00:19:37,165
...or are things just gonna get
even more out of control?
302
00:19:37,376 --> 00:19:40,243
Wait. When I get to that place
and become a boss...
303
00:19:40,445 --> 00:19:43,107
...a millionaire, a big shot,
the first thing I'm gonna do...
304
00:19:43,315 --> 00:19:45,977
...is hire a bunch of idiots just like me
to do all my work.
305
00:19:46,184 --> 00:19:49,381
So then you, me and the kids
can do whatever the hell we want.
306
00:19:49,588 --> 00:19:51,522
You just gotta give me some time.
307
00:19:53,892 --> 00:19:55,723
Don't give me that look.
308
00:19:55,928 --> 00:19:59,261
I'm just saying, give me some support.
All right?
309
00:19:59,464 --> 00:20:01,728
I love you. Go to sleep.
310
00:20:01,934 --> 00:20:04,994
- Just think about it, Michael.
- Absolutely.
311
00:20:05,203 --> 00:20:06,397
And stop with the Yodels.
312
00:20:06,605 --> 00:20:08,800
- You're gonna wake up 400 pounds.
- Okay.
313
00:20:21,320 --> 00:20:25,086
Hey, hey, hey. Keep it down, dude.
Everybody's sleeping.
314
00:20:27,459 --> 00:20:28,619
You gotta poop again?
315
00:20:29,261 --> 00:20:31,991
Why don't you do the humpy-pumpy
on the duck, okay?
316
00:20:33,398 --> 00:20:38,358
Will you just hold it in for five minutes
and keep the freaking volume down?
317
00:21:04,162 --> 00:21:05,356
I guess when you combine...
318
00:21:05,564 --> 00:21:08,965
...mass quantities of cough syrup
with Yodels...
319
00:21:09,167 --> 00:21:11,328
...you get acid.
320
00:21:15,173 --> 00:21:16,504
Go.
321
00:21:24,483 --> 00:21:26,781
Hey, you said you gotta go.
Go already, man.
322
00:21:33,358 --> 00:21:35,189
Sniffy Longdroppings, today.
323
00:22:06,291 --> 00:22:07,883
Holy motherfu-!
324
00:22:10,128 --> 00:22:12,255
Yeah, I mean, you're right.
In the short run...
325
00:22:12,464 --> 00:22:14,932
...plastic surgery is a hassle.
326
00:22:15,133 --> 00:22:17,465
But six months later...
327
00:22:17,669 --> 00:22:19,330
...I'm gonna have a face
and a body...
328
00:22:19,538 --> 00:22:21,904
...that's gonna get me to places
where I wanna be.
329
00:22:24,009 --> 00:22:27,069
Oh, my mother, typical,
you know, she says:
330
00:22:27,279 --> 00:22:30,442
"Oh, this procedure is too risky. "
331
00:22:30,649 --> 00:22:34,016
If Samantha wanted her cheekbones
shaved down, I think I'd freak out too.
332
00:22:34,219 --> 00:22:37,347
I know, but I just think, you know,
they're too Slavic.
333
00:22:37,556 --> 00:22:39,183
You should get some work done.
334
00:22:39,391 --> 00:22:42,827
Then maybe Michael
will wanna hang out with you too.
335
00:22:44,629 --> 00:22:48,087
Morning, Michael.
You're looking very crappy today.
336
00:22:48,300 --> 00:22:51,360
Morning, Janine,
you're looking very Slavic.
337
00:22:52,938 --> 00:22:56,635
You're just jealous because Donna
and I are going to the gym...
338
00:22:56,842 --> 00:22:58,935
...and all the guys
are gonna be hitting on us.
339
00:23:03,515 --> 00:23:06,348
Michael knows
he's my one and only.
340
00:23:06,551 --> 00:23:07,779
Forever and ever, babe.
341
00:23:08,587 --> 00:23:11,886
Sorry about last night.
And I love you. I'm s-
342
00:23:12,090 --> 00:23:14,558
Oh, my God. I want that so bad.
343
00:23:14,759 --> 00:23:19,662
A husband that I can kiss and love
and give juice to.
344
00:23:19,865 --> 00:23:23,631
You've already cheated on three
different husbands with their brothers.
345
00:23:23,835 --> 00:23:26,633
I think you've given enough juice
to everybody.
346
00:23:28,173 --> 00:23:29,834
Love juice.
347
00:23:30,308 --> 00:23:32,742
You know way too much about me.
348
00:23:32,944 --> 00:23:35,845
I should never have done
that Montel Williams show.
349
00:23:36,047 --> 00:23:37,912
Even Montel Williams
thinks you're crazy...
350
00:23:38,116 --> 00:23:39,447
...and he's seen a lot of shit.
351
00:23:40,018 --> 00:23:42,646
I was desperate for companionship!
352
00:23:42,854 --> 00:23:44,583
All of my husbands...
353
00:23:44,789 --> 00:23:47,257
All of them
have emotionally abandoned me.
354
00:23:47,459 --> 00:23:51,225
They went to work. You had sex
with their unemployed brothers.
355
00:23:51,429 --> 00:23:53,397
- You're a horndog.
- Michael.
356
00:23:53,598 --> 00:23:55,725
- Okay, sweetie. Calm it down.
- No, no!
357
00:23:55,934 --> 00:23:59,335
I have had self-esteem issues
since I was a kid.
358
00:23:59,538 --> 00:24:03,531
I had a rabbit named Pepper.
And that rabbit abandoned me too!
359
00:24:03,742 --> 00:24:06,336
Even the rabbit did! Even the rabb-
360
00:24:12,484 --> 00:24:13,508
Don't look at me!
361
00:24:14,152 --> 00:24:16,120
- What's wrong with me?
- Bunny rabbit, bunny-
362
00:24:19,324 --> 00:24:22,760
Here's the pitch to Matsui.
A deep drive.
363
00:24:22,961 --> 00:24:25,191
Oh, my, it's out of here!
364
00:24:25,397 --> 00:24:30,334
A two-run shot into the right-field
seats for Hideki Matsui.
365
00:24:31,336 --> 00:24:32,735
I'm sorry. What was that?
366
00:24:32,938 --> 00:24:35,566
She has so many problems.
Why do you have to be so mean?
367
00:24:37,209 --> 00:24:39,837
I don't know, I- Hello.
368
00:24:41,646 --> 00:24:43,307
I gotta go.
369
00:24:47,285 --> 00:24:49,480
Yeah, good RoboDog.
370
00:24:49,688 --> 00:24:52,156
And he can bark
in over six different languages.
371
00:24:52,357 --> 00:24:54,052
It's so cool.
372
00:24:54,259 --> 00:24:57,023
Yeah, it's much cooler
than your stupid, human dog.
373
00:24:57,229 --> 00:25:00,096
Hey, Dad, see Kevin's
new robot dog?
374
00:25:00,298 --> 00:25:02,027
Yeah, yeah. Very nice.
375
00:25:02,234 --> 00:25:05,829
"Very nice"? This thing
is worth more than your car.
376
00:25:07,739 --> 00:25:11,004
- Not anymore it ain't.
- RoboDog!
377
00:25:17,983 --> 00:25:19,883
Hey, hey, hey.
378
00:25:20,085 --> 00:25:24,454
Okay. Is this some sort
of reality show? Are you the host?
379
00:25:24,656 --> 00:25:27,056
Morty? Where are the cameras?
380
00:25:27,259 --> 00:25:32,026
Got everybody in on it, huh?
Sundance did very well also.
381
00:25:33,164 --> 00:25:37,362
All right, America! Have your laugh!
I'm an idiot!
382
00:25:37,936 --> 00:25:40,029
Donna, I'm gonna get you!
383
00:25:40,238 --> 00:25:41,899
Fast-forward.
384
00:25:43,608 --> 00:25:45,405
Nobody's laughing at you, Michael.
385
00:25:45,610 --> 00:25:51,048
You wanted a universal remote control
that remote-controls your universe.
386
00:25:52,183 --> 00:25:55,550
Yeah, but what controls
my dance skills?
387
00:26:03,428 --> 00:26:04,588
Oh, Morty likes it too.
388
00:26:06,831 --> 00:26:08,731
Michael, just hit menu.
389
00:26:09,601 --> 00:26:10,727
On the remote?
390
00:26:10,935 --> 00:26:14,598
No, the menu at the Red Lobster.
Yes, on the remote.
391
00:26:20,512 --> 00:26:21,774
Where are we?
392
00:26:26,217 --> 00:26:28,515
- Go, Michael, go!
- One Mississippi. Two Mississippi.
393
00:26:28,720 --> 00:26:31,689
- What have I got here?
- Two, three.
394
00:26:31,890 --> 00:26:34,381
Cough syrup's kicking in again.
395
00:26:34,592 --> 00:26:37,755
- We have a boy!
- Is it gonna work?
396
00:26:37,962 --> 00:26:39,088
What is this?
397
00:26:39,297 --> 00:26:41,891
- All right, I love you, Michael.
- Your life menu.
398
00:26:42,867 --> 00:26:44,698
My life has a commentary?
399
00:26:44,903 --> 00:26:47,201
It's chock-full of goodies.
400
00:26:47,405 --> 00:26:50,135
- Click it.
- Click it.
401
00:26:51,543 --> 00:26:54,034
This is last Tuesday.
402
00:26:54,245 --> 00:26:58,238
Michael was eagerly awaiting
the arrival of his lunch order.
403
00:26:58,450 --> 00:27:00,008
Who's that, James Earl Jones?
404
00:27:00,218 --> 00:27:02,709
James Earl
does a lot of voice-over work.
405
00:27:02,921 --> 00:27:05,253
But his anticipation
quickly turned to dismay...
406
00:27:05,457 --> 00:27:08,051
...as he realized Alice
had brought him a cheeseburger...
407
00:27:08,259 --> 00:27:10,090
...instead of a hamburger
as he requested.
408
00:27:10,295 --> 00:27:12,320
A cheeseburger?
I said a hamburger.
409
00:27:12,530 --> 00:27:13,690
She always does this to me.
410
00:27:13,898 --> 00:27:16,799
Michael considered demanding
that Alice scrape the cheese off...
411
00:27:17,001 --> 00:27:18,025
...but decided not to...
412
00:27:18,236 --> 00:27:19,794
...fearing that Alice may spit in...
413
00:27:20,004 --> 00:27:23,565
...or otherwise defile
the burger in some manner.
414
00:27:23,775 --> 00:27:25,402
A wise decision...
415
00:27:25,610 --> 00:27:29,671
...for that was exactly
what Alice was planning to do.
416
00:27:31,082 --> 00:27:33,312
- Are you kidding me?
- Sneaky.
417
00:27:33,518 --> 00:27:35,748
My God.
418
00:27:39,391 --> 00:27:41,484
What else we got here?
419
00:27:43,061 --> 00:27:45,529
- "Making of"?
- Just click.
420
00:27:46,564 --> 00:27:49,533
Hey, hey, psychedelic.
Where are we?
421
00:27:51,069 --> 00:27:53,060
Is this a porno or something?
422
00:27:53,271 --> 00:27:55,637
Oh, Ted. Oh, Teddy!
423
00:27:55,840 --> 00:27:57,102
Is that my parents?
424
00:27:57,308 --> 00:27:59,674
They're making you.
Like bunny rabbits.
425
00:27:59,878 --> 00:28:02,574
- That's the spot.
- Smack my heinie!
426
00:28:02,781 --> 00:28:06,012
Change the channel!
How do you do this?
427
00:28:07,318 --> 00:28:08,717
I can't see.
428
00:28:08,920 --> 00:28:11,980
- What happened?
- What-?
429
00:28:12,190 --> 00:28:16,627
The floor is so mushy and slippery.
Feels good on my feet.
430
00:28:16,828 --> 00:28:19,956
Check it out.
You hit the fast-forward button.
431
00:28:20,165 --> 00:28:22,725
I believe we're sometime
after your conception.
432
00:28:22,934 --> 00:28:25,266
Okay, very good, Mrs. Newman.
433
00:28:25,470 --> 00:28:28,564
No! We're in my mother's vagina?
434
00:28:28,773 --> 00:28:31,469
Again. And push.
435
00:28:31,676 --> 00:28:34,509
- It's a girl.
- It's a girl!
436
00:28:34,712 --> 00:28:37,704
- Oh, It's a girl. Thank you so much.
- Thank you for that.
437
00:28:37,916 --> 00:28:40,384
Wait a minute.
I'm sorry, it might be a boy.
438
00:28:40,585 --> 00:28:42,485
What do you mean, "might be"?
What is that?
439
00:28:42,687 --> 00:28:43,881
Maybe that's a penis.
440
00:28:44,088 --> 00:28:46,648
Maybe that's a pe-? That's a penis.
That's my penis.
441
00:28:46,858 --> 00:28:49,986
Can I see that?
Can you bring that a little closer?
442
00:28:50,195 --> 00:28:51,162
See?
443
00:28:51,596 --> 00:28:53,621
- That's a tiny schmeckel.
- Yeah?
444
00:28:53,832 --> 00:28:55,299
- We have a boy!
- We have a boy!
445
00:28:55,500 --> 00:28:59,766
Your mother must have
some superpower eyesight...
446
00:28:59,971 --> 00:29:02,906
...because I didn't see anything.
447
00:29:03,107 --> 00:29:04,301
Let's get out of here.
448
00:29:06,578 --> 00:29:08,546
So if you think about it...
449
00:29:08,746 --> 00:29:12,273
...I can reexperience
any part of my life I want to.
450
00:29:12,484 --> 00:29:14,008
It's amazing.
451
00:29:15,220 --> 00:29:18,553
What happened?
Oh, God, what did I do?
452
00:29:18,756 --> 00:29:20,849
Hello? How do I get you
back here, pal?
453
00:29:22,126 --> 00:29:23,093
Gotcha.
454
00:29:24,329 --> 00:29:25,956
I'm not freaked out enough?
455
00:29:26,164 --> 00:29:27,995
It's simple. Think of a time
and a place...
456
00:29:28,199 --> 00:29:30,759
...hit rewind, and you're there.
457
00:29:31,903 --> 00:29:34,394
Time and a place. Time and a place.
458
00:29:40,245 --> 00:29:43,271
Oh, my God. Lake Winnipesaukee.
459
00:29:43,748 --> 00:29:45,978
That's me in the Jets shirt.
460
00:29:46,184 --> 00:29:47,845
Go, little me, go!
461
00:29:51,256 --> 00:29:53,224
Good hands! Nice hands.
462
00:29:53,424 --> 00:29:54,652
Michael!
463
00:29:55,159 --> 00:29:59,459
Michael, dinner's almost ready.
Invite your friends if you want to.
464
00:30:00,064 --> 00:30:03,500
So any of you wanna come
by my tent for some supper?
465
00:30:03,701 --> 00:30:06,636
Or we could eat at my Winnebago
and watch Three's Company.
466
00:30:09,374 --> 00:30:10,966
Three's Company.
467
00:30:11,509 --> 00:30:13,807
That's humiliating.
468
00:30:15,680 --> 00:30:19,639
Mom, why can't we camp in an RV
like every other family?
469
00:30:19,851 --> 00:30:21,682
Oh, come on.
You call that camping?
470
00:30:21,886 --> 00:30:24,480
How can you get close to nature
in a tin can like that?
471
00:30:24,689 --> 00:30:28,181
Plus, it's more fun to have
to keep each other warm at night.
472
00:30:28,726 --> 00:30:30,318
Don't you know it.
473
00:30:39,470 --> 00:30:42,200
- No cupcakes yet.
- But I'm starving.
474
00:30:42,407 --> 00:30:44,671
I agree with you, Michael.
You know how hungry I am?
475
00:30:44,876 --> 00:30:47,868
I am so hungry, I could eat this.
476
00:30:48,079 --> 00:30:50,547
Oh, this is where
the quarter trick started.
477
00:30:57,088 --> 00:30:58,680
How the heck did he do that?
478
00:30:58,890 --> 00:31:02,053
Oh, it's a trick coin
you buy at a magic shop.
479
00:31:02,260 --> 00:31:04,285
I just couldn't let him know
I knew that.
480
00:31:04,495 --> 00:31:05,962
That's sweet.
481
00:31:06,164 --> 00:31:09,099
Now, I gotta get back to work,
so hit play.
482
00:31:17,141 --> 00:31:20,736
It's a very powerful device.
Use it with caution.
483
00:31:20,945 --> 00:31:22,378
Okay.
484
00:31:23,915 --> 00:31:24,904
Who are you?
485
00:31:25,717 --> 00:31:27,207
You know who I am.
486
00:31:28,252 --> 00:31:29,378
Morty?
487
00:31:29,587 --> 00:31:32,078
If you have any questions...
488
00:31:32,690 --> 00:31:34,282
...call me.
489
00:31:42,734 --> 00:31:47,569
No, Linda, I think Stacy gets
the most-beautiful-feet award.
490
00:31:47,772 --> 00:31:49,296
You wanted to see me?
491
00:31:49,507 --> 00:31:52,567
Michael. Look, I'm heading out to
the Hamptons in a couple of minutes.
492
00:31:52,777 --> 00:31:53,903
I'm counting on you.
493
00:31:54,112 --> 00:31:56,171
This hotel project? It's a big fish.
494
00:31:56,381 --> 00:32:00,249
You reel it in for me
and it's "Howdy, partner. "
495
00:32:03,721 --> 00:32:05,120
Okay. Thank you.
496
00:32:05,323 --> 00:32:09,054
Screw it up, though, and it's
"Back to the mailroom, atrium boy. "
497
00:32:11,663 --> 00:32:12,960
Mr. Ammer, Denise just called.
498
00:32:13,164 --> 00:32:16,531
She's gotta go to rehab again,
so she can't make it to the Hamptons.
499
00:32:16,734 --> 00:32:18,964
I'm gonna be alone
on the Fourth of July?
500
00:32:19,337 --> 00:32:22,067
Mr. Ammer, if you need female
companionship this weekend...
501
00:32:22,273 --> 00:32:24,764
...my wife's friend Janine, wow.
502
00:32:26,310 --> 00:32:29,541
Really? What's she like?
503
00:32:30,214 --> 00:32:34,981
Let's just say
she will eat you up, sir.
504
00:32:37,121 --> 00:32:38,679
Excuse me. I'm sorry to interrupt...
505
00:32:38,890 --> 00:32:41,017
- ... but this is kind of important.
- Okay.
506
00:32:42,927 --> 00:32:44,986
- Go to the bathroom.
- Okay.
507
00:32:56,207 --> 00:32:59,233
Dude! You suck so bad.
508
00:32:59,444 --> 00:33:01,503
Do not. Hey, Dad.
509
00:33:01,713 --> 00:33:03,476
How you doing, buddy?
Playing some catch?
510
00:33:03,681 --> 00:33:07,515
Actually, we're playing some drop,
because Ben hasn't caught one yet.
511
00:33:07,719 --> 00:33:09,482
Darn it.
512
00:33:23,468 --> 00:33:25,663
You're a regular Derek Jeter
yourself, O'Doyle.
513
00:33:26,037 --> 00:33:28,528
- Love you, kid.
- Love you too, Dad.
514
00:33:29,307 --> 00:33:31,832
Mommy!
515
00:33:32,643 --> 00:33:35,305
No, I know. Well, I thought
she should've gotten voted off.
516
00:33:35,513 --> 00:33:37,947
But did you see her Kate Spade
handbag? It was gorgeous.
517
00:33:38,149 --> 00:33:40,777
Wait, hold on a second, Trudy.
I gotta say hi to your son.
518
00:33:40,985 --> 00:33:45,012
- I told your parents to come for dinner.
- Really? That sounds good.
519
00:33:45,223 --> 00:33:47,623
It'd be fun for them to be here
for the sleepover.
520
00:33:49,393 --> 00:33:51,122
Okay, so great. Yeah.
521
00:33:51,329 --> 00:33:53,729
We'll see you guys later.
Okay, bye-bye.
522
00:33:53,931 --> 00:33:57,059
It's not gonna kill you to eat dinner
with your family, sweetie.
523
00:33:57,268 --> 00:34:00,101
I know, I just gotta build
an entire model tonight.
524
00:34:01,439 --> 00:34:04,897
- I'm the leader!
- No, I'm the leader!
525
00:34:06,878 --> 00:34:08,812
Go say hi to Daddy. Go on.
526
00:34:11,816 --> 00:34:14,284
I can't take a whole night of this.
527
00:34:14,485 --> 00:34:17,784
- And I'm not going to.
- Q, R, S, T, U-
528
00:34:23,861 --> 00:34:25,260
Cool.
529
00:34:25,463 --> 00:34:28,660
I can skip chapters.
530
00:34:34,472 --> 00:34:35,803
What a family.
531
00:34:37,508 --> 00:34:41,274
All right, let's get dinner
over with. Next.
532
00:34:41,479 --> 00:34:42,912
Next.
533
00:34:43,114 --> 00:34:46,140
Everyone's done but you, buddy.
Let's go.
534
00:34:48,219 --> 00:34:50,585
Will you stop already?
535
00:34:50,788 --> 00:34:54,656
Oh, boy, Dad's quarter trick.
I can't wait not to see it.
536
00:34:56,627 --> 00:34:58,424
Alone in my basement at last.
537
00:34:58,629 --> 00:35:02,690
Should I do my work
and become partner now? I think so.
538
00:35:04,335 --> 00:35:06,200
Let's get to it.
539
00:35:07,004 --> 00:35:08,471
- Michael?
- Yo.
540
00:35:08,673 --> 00:35:10,231
We don't wanna interrupt.
541
00:35:10,441 --> 00:35:12,272
We're taking off.
Thanks for a great night.
542
00:35:12,476 --> 00:35:14,137
You had a fun time
hanging out with me?
543
00:35:14,345 --> 00:35:16,279
That was- We did good, right?
544
00:35:16,848 --> 00:35:18,338
- Good night, honey.
- Love you.
545
00:35:18,916 --> 00:35:23,046
My schmeckel got bigger now that
I'm older, just so you guys know that.
546
00:35:23,254 --> 00:35:25,654
It couldn't have gotten any smaller.
547
00:35:26,457 --> 00:35:27,549
Yeah, yeah.
548
00:35:27,758 --> 00:35:30,852
It looked like a little Tic Tac.
549
00:35:31,062 --> 00:35:34,122
Yeah, come here,
I'll freshen your breath.
550
00:35:35,333 --> 00:35:36,766
- Bye, you guys.
- Bye, sweetie.
551
00:35:36,968 --> 00:35:38,868
Good night, sweetie.
552
00:35:41,439 --> 00:35:42,997
Great dinner, honey.
553
00:35:43,207 --> 00:35:45,471
See? Was that so bad?
554
00:35:45,676 --> 00:35:47,541
Kidding me? I had fun.
555
00:35:47,745 --> 00:35:51,476
Good for you. Can you watch the gang
for 10 minutes while I clean up?
556
00:35:51,682 --> 00:35:53,980
Can't you? I just-
I got so much stuff to do here.
557
00:35:54,185 --> 00:35:55,584
Oh, you got stuff to do?
558
00:35:55,786 --> 00:35:58,220
I got ghost stories, charades,
the dishes...
559
00:35:58,422 --> 00:36:01,186
...and then I gotta sew the duck's head
back on for Sundance...
560
00:36:01,392 --> 00:36:03,019
...and fix his butthole.
561
00:36:03,227 --> 00:36:04,319
Way to go, champ.
562
00:36:05,863 --> 00:36:07,728
I wish I had time to do all that stuff.
563
00:36:07,932 --> 00:36:09,365
Give me a break, Michael.
564
00:36:09,567 --> 00:36:11,535
You're a big boy.
You set your own priorities.
565
00:36:11,736 --> 00:36:14,102
I'm asking for 10 minutes,
not for, like, a whole day.
566
00:36:14,305 --> 00:36:15,670
You don't have to do that much.
567
00:36:15,873 --> 00:36:18,671
How big a deal is that?
I am so tired of having this argument.
568
00:36:26,517 --> 00:36:29,247
I skipped the whole fight.
569
00:36:32,323 --> 00:36:33,790
Babe?
570
00:36:35,259 --> 00:36:37,557
- I can't sleep.
- You can't?
571
00:36:37,762 --> 00:36:39,354
I feel bad that we keep arguing.
572
00:36:39,563 --> 00:36:42,691
I know. Don't be upset, okay?
573
00:36:42,900 --> 00:36:46,267
- I was a jerk.
- You are a jerk.
574
00:36:46,470 --> 00:36:48,028
- I love you.
- I love you too.
575
00:36:49,206 --> 00:36:51,197
- Yes. That smells good.
- What?
576
00:36:53,778 --> 00:36:55,837
Michael. Stop it.
The sleepover will catch us.
577
00:36:56,047 --> 00:36:58,140
They ain't gonna hear us. Come on.
578
00:36:58,916 --> 00:37:01,908
Okay. Quietly try
and coax me into it.
579
00:37:02,119 --> 00:37:04,110
I gotta get back to work.
Can't we just do it?
580
00:37:04,322 --> 00:37:06,290
No, we can't just do it.
Honey, come on.
581
00:37:06,824 --> 00:37:10,555
I mean, I don't have any new moves
for you. It's the same stuff.
582
00:37:10,761 --> 00:37:13,457
Just think of last time and use that.
583
00:37:13,664 --> 00:37:16,292
I like the old moves. Come on.
584
00:37:17,868 --> 00:37:18,835
All right.
585
00:37:19,036 --> 00:37:21,004
This time you be Sundance,
I'll be the duck.
586
00:37:21,205 --> 00:37:24,606
- Yeah?
- But you gotta massage me first.
587
00:37:24,809 --> 00:37:28,108
Great, I love giving massages.
588
00:37:33,150 --> 00:37:35,618
Massaging away here.
589
00:37:37,755 --> 00:37:40,815
Oh, that feels good.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
590
00:37:52,370 --> 00:37:55,703
- We did it?
- Well, you did.
591
00:37:57,241 --> 00:37:59,937
I didn't want the whole thing
to go that fast.
592
00:38:00,144 --> 00:38:02,442
I don't think anybody did.
593
00:38:02,847 --> 00:38:05,213
Yeah. I'll get you next time.
594
00:38:05,416 --> 00:38:07,043
Thanks.
595
00:38:08,019 --> 00:38:10,078
So we good for tomorrow?
596
00:38:11,722 --> 00:38:13,349
What are you talking about?
597
00:38:13,557 --> 00:38:14,785
At dinner.
598
00:38:14,992 --> 00:38:18,484
You said we'd go to lunch tomorrow
and pick out your dad's birthday gift.
599
00:38:21,432 --> 00:38:22,899
Dad's gift is-
600
00:38:23,100 --> 00:38:26,900
- Of course. I said so, so I'll be there.
- Okay.
601
00:38:27,738 --> 00:38:30,104
- Need another massage or anything?
- Oh, go away.
602
00:38:30,307 --> 00:38:32,172
I gotta go work.
603
00:38:33,544 --> 00:38:35,705
Hey, Morty. It's Michael Newman.
604
00:38:35,913 --> 00:38:38,381
Yeah, can I talk to you for a minute?
605
00:38:40,184 --> 00:38:42,778
Hang on for a second,
someone's at my door.
606
00:38:45,756 --> 00:38:48,657
- Hello, Michael.
- Where'd you come from?
607
00:38:49,360 --> 00:38:51,055
You don't wanna know.
608
00:38:53,664 --> 00:38:55,996
- Can we take a walk?
- Sure.
609
00:38:57,735 --> 00:39:01,136
It's simple. You must
have been on autopilot.
610
00:39:01,338 --> 00:39:02,430
Autopilot?
611
00:39:02,640 --> 00:39:05,200
That's what happens to you
when you fast-forward.
612
00:39:05,409 --> 00:39:07,343
- Okay.
- Yeah. I'll show you.
613
00:39:07,545 --> 00:39:08,944
Here.
614
00:39:12,683 --> 00:39:15,675
See? That's you on autopilot.
615
00:39:15,886 --> 00:39:18,446
The lights are on
but nobody's home.
616
00:39:18,656 --> 00:39:20,886
The remote lets your mind
skip around...
617
00:39:21,092 --> 00:39:23,686
...but your body actually stays put
for the boring stuff.
618
00:39:23,894 --> 00:39:26,920
We should go to lunch tomorrow
and pick out your dad's birthday gift.
619
00:39:27,131 --> 00:39:28,723
Sounds good.
620
00:39:28,933 --> 00:39:30,093
So she did tell me.
621
00:39:30,301 --> 00:39:33,293
I'm having conversations
on autopilot, then.
622
00:39:33,504 --> 00:39:36,064
You're not gonna be
the life of the party, but yes.
623
00:39:36,273 --> 00:39:38,537
Everyone goes on autopilot
now and then.
624
00:39:38,742 --> 00:39:41,609
The big difference
is now you've got a nifty remote...
625
00:39:41,812 --> 00:39:44,144
...to help you decide when.
626
00:39:44,348 --> 00:39:46,248
This thing is the best.
627
00:39:46,851 --> 00:39:50,309
By the way, your wife?
Absolutely gorgeous.
628
00:39:50,521 --> 00:39:55,083
- She is, isn't she?
- Perfect face. Tight, rocking body.
629
00:39:56,360 --> 00:39:57,327
You okay?
630
00:39:58,796 --> 00:40:01,128
- Amazing.
- What is?
631
00:40:01,332 --> 00:40:03,391
She fell for a schlub like you.
632
00:40:03,601 --> 00:40:05,193
I'm a schlub?
633
00:40:05,402 --> 00:40:08,337
I don't know about that, pal.
I see a good-looking man right there.
634
00:40:10,074 --> 00:40:13,237
You wanna see what a stud
I used to be? Yeah?
635
00:40:13,444 --> 00:40:15,708
All right, let's take a look
at some of the girls...
636
00:40:15,913 --> 00:40:18,507
...I used to fool around with
before I met Donna.
637
00:40:28,292 --> 00:40:30,317
Is that a man or a woman?
638
00:40:30,528 --> 00:40:32,462
It's a woman.
639
00:40:35,866 --> 00:40:37,766
What is this, Animal Planet?
640
00:40:39,570 --> 00:40:42,004
- Stop.
- Yes.
641
00:40:44,175 --> 00:40:50,045
Sometimes it's better to keep
certain memories just in your head.
642
00:40:50,247 --> 00:40:51,839
So I've learned, Morty.
643
00:40:52,049 --> 00:40:53,949
Good night. Thank you.
644
00:40:54,451 --> 00:40:56,214
Good night, Michael.
645
00:41:04,595 --> 00:41:08,031
I'm getting sick, man.
Fast-forward me till I'm better.
646
00:41:09,567 --> 00:41:12,968
Michael, honey, wake up.
You'll be late for work.
647
00:41:13,604 --> 00:41:16,664
What? It's Monday already?
648
00:41:25,849 --> 00:41:27,976
Are you kidding me?
No more phlegm?
649
00:41:28,185 --> 00:41:29,812
I skipped an entire cold?
650
00:41:30,020 --> 00:41:32,511
Thanks to you, baby! I love you!
651
00:41:32,723 --> 00:41:34,247
No more Tylenol!
652
00:41:34,458 --> 00:41:36,426
I don't remember doing
any work this weekend.
653
00:41:38,963 --> 00:41:40,590
But apparently I did.
654
00:41:41,131 --> 00:41:44,567
- Bad news. There's no hot water.
- What? I gotta take a shower.
655
00:41:44,768 --> 00:41:47,202
Well, you're gonna freeze
your bun-buns off.
656
00:41:48,172 --> 00:41:50,470
It's all good.
657
00:41:57,214 --> 00:41:59,148
Yes! Look at me.
658
00:41:59,350 --> 00:42:03,377
All showered and dressed
and looking sexy.
659
00:42:03,587 --> 00:42:05,282
I like that. I-
660
00:42:05,990 --> 00:42:08,254
Did you smoke crack, Daddy?
661
00:42:08,826 --> 00:42:11,886
Just watch your toons and have
a great day with Mommy today, okay?
662
00:42:15,065 --> 00:42:18,091
Eating cupcakes like your old man.
Right here, baby.
663
00:42:18,302 --> 00:42:19,860
- Dad?
- Yes, sir?
664
00:42:20,070 --> 00:42:22,595
Are you gonna have to work late
again tonight?
665
00:42:23,440 --> 00:42:26,876
- Unfortunately, yes.
- Is there anything we can do to help?
666
00:42:27,645 --> 00:42:31,012
Well, I'm gonna be partner soon, and
I'm gonna need new building designs.
667
00:42:31,215 --> 00:42:33,877
So if you guys have any cool ideas,
draw them up for me.
668
00:42:34,084 --> 00:42:35,551
- Okay.
- Rock 'n' roll.
669
00:42:35,753 --> 00:42:38,722
- I get the paper.
- I got the crayons.
670
00:42:44,495 --> 00:42:46,963
Would you stop talking
and fix the sewer?
671
00:43:06,717 --> 00:43:09,982
You're on it now, yeah. Yeah.
672
00:43:10,187 --> 00:43:13,918
Traffic, traffic, no more traffic.
673
00:43:16,193 --> 00:43:17,854
Wait a sec!
674
00:43:20,731 --> 00:43:23,165
Here we go! Mama!
675
00:43:23,367 --> 00:43:26,928
Yeah! That's what
I'm talking about, baby!
676
00:43:29,640 --> 00:43:32,837
You look a little pale there, pal.
Let me fix that.
677
00:43:37,014 --> 00:43:40,950
Oh, look at you now.
You're all yellow from the scurvy.
678
00:43:41,151 --> 00:43:42,175
Captain.
679
00:43:44,922 --> 00:43:49,552
Don't get the Hulk angry.
You won't like him when he's angry.
680
00:44:00,371 --> 00:44:01,531
Oh, there's Barney.
681
00:44:01,739 --> 00:44:05,038
I love you, you love me
682
00:44:05,242 --> 00:44:09,542
That jogger had giant boobies
683
00:44:09,947 --> 00:44:14,179
Okay. Let's get you that tan
you been searching for.
684
00:44:14,385 --> 00:44:16,046
That's it. That's it.
685
00:44:16,253 --> 00:44:20,246
Check out Julio Iglesias... Pretty.
686
00:44:23,026 --> 00:44:27,087
- Looking good, Mr. Newman.
- Really? Thank you very much, Judy.
687
00:44:27,297 --> 00:44:31,028
- Finish?
- Did I finish? I believe I finished.
688
00:44:31,235 --> 00:44:34,671
- Let's see here. Look at that.
- Very impressive, Michael.
689
00:44:34,872 --> 00:44:38,831
Yeah, the river in the lobby.
This is actually pretty good, man.
690
00:44:39,510 --> 00:44:41,341
Where did you find the time
to get a tan?
691
00:44:42,846 --> 00:44:45,838
- I guess I can do it all, sir.
- You can do it all.
692
00:44:46,483 --> 00:44:50,579
All right, all right, everybody.
It's sexual-harassment-speech day.
693
00:44:51,955 --> 00:44:54,116
Now, anyone can be a victim
of sexual harassment:
694
00:44:54,324 --> 00:44:58,784
Blue collar, white collar,
a woman, a man.
695
00:44:58,996 --> 00:45:01,260
Even the office slut.
696
00:45:01,465 --> 00:45:03,899
Not that I'm mentioning any names...
697
00:45:04,101 --> 00:45:05,329
...Stacy.
698
00:45:08,839 --> 00:45:12,969
Here we go. Sexual harassment
can come in many forms.
699
00:45:14,411 --> 00:45:17,869
You see, what is hilarious to some,
could be offensive to others.
700
00:45:18,582 --> 00:45:22,382
Let me try to give you a real-life
example because I'm sure I've done it.
701
00:45:24,087 --> 00:45:27,614
Like the day I said, "You want
a promotion, break out the lotion. "
702
00:45:27,825 --> 00:45:30,487
I was technically engaged
in sexual harassment.
703
00:45:31,261 --> 00:45:34,719
Hilarious sexual harassment,
if you ask me.
704
00:45:39,636 --> 00:45:44,437
Now, there is also
homosexual harassment.
705
00:45:44,641 --> 00:45:47,405
Now, this is like when
one dude comes up to another...
706
00:45:47,611 --> 00:45:50,011
- ... and says something cheeky.
- This will be good.
707
00:46:13,871 --> 00:46:15,133
Proceed.
708
00:46:21,078 --> 00:46:23,444
I don't know about you Americans...
709
00:46:23,647 --> 00:46:26,878
...but to me there is no doubt...
710
00:46:27,084 --> 00:46:29,951
...Ichiro is the greatest of all time.
711
00:46:30,153 --> 00:46:31,711
Yeah, he's incredible.
712
00:46:31,922 --> 00:46:33,981
You gotta admit,
you can always count on Matsui.
713
00:46:34,191 --> 00:46:35,818
Oh, Matsui.
714
00:46:36,026 --> 00:46:39,484
Well, if you guys love Ichiro and
Matsui so much, let's order them both.
715
00:46:40,998 --> 00:46:42,727
I'll eat anything.
716
00:46:42,933 --> 00:46:46,334
- Excuse us for a moment.
- Absolutely, Mr. Watsuhita.
717
00:46:46,537 --> 00:46:48,630
See you guys in a bit.
718
00:46:48,839 --> 00:46:52,900
Ichiro and Matsui are baseball players.
You just insulted their national heroes.
719
00:46:53,110 --> 00:46:55,635
I'm going to the bathroom
to slit my wrists.
720
00:46:55,846 --> 00:46:57,541
I'll be here.
721
00:47:13,797 --> 00:47:14,957
These morons are so boring.
722
00:47:15,165 --> 00:47:17,326
They make me wanna
chop my own dick off.
723
00:47:18,635 --> 00:47:20,432
That hotel design?
I'd like to rip it up.
724
00:47:20,637 --> 00:47:23,231
Egghead watched a bad documentary
on Asian architecture.
725
00:47:23,440 --> 00:47:25,169
Who needs a stupid river
in the lobby?
726
00:47:25,375 --> 00:47:27,366
Let's build more rooms
and maximize profits.
727
00:47:27,578 --> 00:47:29,170
Eat as fast as you can.
728
00:47:29,379 --> 00:47:30,676
Then we can get out of here...
729
00:47:30,881 --> 00:47:33,782
...and do Jell-O shots at America's
greatest cultural achievement:
730
00:47:33,984 --> 00:47:35,008
T.G.I. Friday's.
731
00:47:35,218 --> 00:47:36,708
T.G.I. Friday's!
732
00:47:40,324 --> 00:47:44,055
- All right, Michael, save us.
- I'm all over it, baby.
733
00:47:45,395 --> 00:47:49,263
Before we order, I was looking
at our proposal. You know what?
734
00:47:49,466 --> 00:47:53,095
After getting to know you a little bit,
I realize this is not what you're about.
735
00:47:53,303 --> 00:47:56,568
In fact, let's just throw it out, all right?
Start from scratch.
736
00:47:56,773 --> 00:47:59,640
The river in the lobby idea,
what an egghead move.
737
00:47:59,843 --> 00:48:03,677
Let's just keep the plans simple, forget
all the niceties, maximize our revenue.
738
00:48:03,880 --> 00:48:05,973
That's what it's all about anyways,
the profits.
739
00:48:06,183 --> 00:48:09,414
But do me a favor. Just give us
your account and your trust.
740
00:48:09,620 --> 00:48:12,885
That way we can get the hell out
of this dump, go to T.G.I. Friday's...
741
00:48:13,090 --> 00:48:15,820
...do some Jell-O shots
till this guy pukes up a lung.
742
00:48:17,628 --> 00:48:18,788
Fuck, yeah.
743
00:48:22,432 --> 00:48:24,161
That's what I'm talking about.
744
00:48:30,507 --> 00:48:31,974
Yes, yes!
745
00:48:32,175 --> 00:48:36,134
The king is home! Hello, hello!
746
00:48:37,314 --> 00:48:41,341
How can you goons sleep
when you know I got you presents?
747
00:48:41,551 --> 00:48:42,984
- You did?
- What is it?
748
00:48:43,186 --> 00:48:47,282
What is it? Well, if you bring
your tushies downstairs, we'll find out.
749
00:48:48,291 --> 00:48:50,156
I'm coming. I'm coming.
750
00:48:50,360 --> 00:48:54,296
Honey, get your sweet little buns
downstairs too. Come on, come on!
751
00:48:57,868 --> 00:48:59,927
Come and get them.
752
00:49:00,804 --> 00:49:03,864
- Awesome! No way!
- Yeah, yeah.
753
00:49:04,641 --> 00:49:08,133
- It must have cost a million dollars!
- That's chump change now.
754
00:49:08,345 --> 00:49:09,539
You guys deserve the best...
755
00:49:09,746 --> 00:49:12,146
...and that's what you're gonna get
from now on, okay?
756
00:49:12,349 --> 00:49:13,646
What's all this?
757
00:49:13,850 --> 00:49:15,943
Look who's here.
You guys wanna ride these bikes?
758
00:49:16,153 --> 00:49:18,144
- Yeah!
- Let's take them outside!
759
00:49:18,355 --> 00:49:20,619
Wake the O'Doyles,
let them see what you got.
760
00:49:24,594 --> 00:49:27,995
These are the coolest bikes
in the whole town.
761
00:49:28,198 --> 00:49:30,632
Kevin O'Doyle's gonna shit himself.
762
00:49:30,834 --> 00:49:34,201
- Don't think I forgot my beautiful wife.
- Oh, my gosh.
763
00:49:34,404 --> 00:49:38,272
It's not a bike or a cowboy hat,
but you're gonna like this, I hope.
764
00:49:38,642 --> 00:49:41,975
- Oh, Michael, it's beautiful.
- I heard you talking to my mother.
765
00:49:42,179 --> 00:49:44,409
- I love it!
- You look good, baby.
766
00:49:44,614 --> 00:49:47,811
I got myself a celebratory cigar too.
Why not?
767
00:49:48,018 --> 00:49:49,576
What are we celebrating?
768
00:49:49,786 --> 00:49:54,086
"What are we celebrating?"
We're healthy, we got a great family...
769
00:49:54,291 --> 00:49:56,555
...I'm Ammer's newest partner-
770
00:49:56,760 --> 00:50:00,161
Oh, my God, you're kidding!
Honey, congratulations!
771
00:50:00,363 --> 00:50:03,594
I knew it! I knew you'd be psyched!
I love it! I love you!
772
00:50:03,800 --> 00:50:06,064
I single-handedly landed
the Watsuhita account.
773
00:50:06,269 --> 00:50:08,635
That's incredible.
I knew it was gonna be a great day.
774
00:50:08,839 --> 00:50:11,740
- I heard our song on the radio.
- We have a song?
775
00:50:12,309 --> 00:50:16,746
Honey. The song that was playing
during our first kiss.
776
00:50:18,815 --> 00:50:20,749
Come on. You're kidding me, right?
777
00:50:22,586 --> 00:50:27,614
I know our song. Our song. Of course
I know our song. Our song is...
778
00:50:27,824 --> 00:50:30,122
What the hell was that song?
779
00:50:32,129 --> 00:50:34,063
I remember this place.
780
00:50:34,264 --> 00:50:37,165
And- Oh, my God.
781
00:50:37,367 --> 00:50:40,131
Wolverine's goofy cousin.
782
00:50:40,871 --> 00:50:45,899
But look at you. Wow.
You are out of his league, aren't you?
783
00:50:48,612 --> 00:50:50,239
Oh, yeah, the notes.
784
00:50:50,447 --> 00:50:52,438
Smooth, buddy.
785
00:50:58,288 --> 00:50:59,949
Oh, look at her.
786
00:51:01,491 --> 00:51:05,427
What's gonna happen?
You got an answer to that?
787
00:51:08,665 --> 00:51:12,157
Okay. Seal the deal, pal.
788
00:51:19,643 --> 00:51:22,407
All she's thinking about is,
"I am not kissing that beard.
789
00:51:22,612 --> 00:51:24,273
Absolutely not,
that's gonna hurt me. "
790
00:51:25,015 --> 00:51:26,778
Wait a minute.
791
00:51:29,686 --> 00:51:31,984
Yeah, Newman. Get it.
792
00:51:33,757 --> 00:51:35,418
Yeah.
793
00:51:39,095 --> 00:51:40,585
Donna!
794
00:51:40,797 --> 00:51:43,425
Donna. Oh, my God.
795
00:51:44,234 --> 00:51:45,861
I'm so horny now.
796
00:51:46,069 --> 00:51:49,766
Oh, God, I'm not.
Get me out of here.
797
00:51:51,942 --> 00:51:56,572
"Linger" by The Cranberries
was playing during our first juicy kiss.
798
00:51:56,780 --> 00:52:00,238
And, my God, you looked beautiful
in that pink sweater you were wearing.
799
00:52:00,450 --> 00:52:02,111
Honey, you remember
what I was wearing?
800
00:52:02,319 --> 00:52:04,287
Of course. I remember
what Janine was wearing.
801
00:52:04,487 --> 00:52:06,717
She scared the shit out of me then.
802
00:52:10,227 --> 00:52:11,854
I love you.
803
00:52:12,062 --> 00:52:14,758
I love you too, honey.
804
00:52:25,542 --> 00:52:27,601
Hi, Mr. Newman.
805
00:52:28,144 --> 00:52:30,408
Right this way, Michael.
806
00:52:30,515 --> 00:52:34,648
Hey, my new star. Congratulations.
Sit down, big guy.
807
00:52:34,683 --> 00:52:36,206
All right.
808
00:52:36,416 --> 00:52:38,850
I am a little tired.
809
00:52:39,052 --> 00:52:41,384
The family was up late
last night celebrating.
810
00:52:41,588 --> 00:52:44,421
You really knocked one out of the park
last night, didn't you?
811
00:52:44,624 --> 00:52:45,750
Hey, you were great too.
812
00:52:45,959 --> 00:52:48,189
All you gotta do is draw up
the construction plans.
813
00:52:48,395 --> 00:52:50,488
If Watsuhita commits
to the bulk of the funds...
814
00:52:50,697 --> 00:52:52,995
...I'm looking at my new partner.
815
00:52:56,002 --> 00:52:57,799
I thought I was already your partner.
816
00:52:58,538 --> 00:53:00,005
Whoa, cowboy.
817
00:53:00,206 --> 00:53:03,004
I said, "Land the Watsuhita account,
you'll get promoted. "
818
00:53:03,209 --> 00:53:07,612
- I didn't mean right this second.
- But I already told my wife, sir.
819
00:53:07,814 --> 00:53:10,146
I spent money I don't have.
820
00:53:10,350 --> 00:53:13,251
To do these documents
is gonna take me months.
821
00:53:13,920 --> 00:53:15,945
Then you better get started.
822
00:53:23,396 --> 00:53:25,261
Wow, I just got a big headache!
823
00:53:26,966 --> 00:53:29,992
- Was I hit by a train or something?
- I didn't see anything.
824
00:53:30,203 --> 00:53:34,503
I forgot to tell you. I hung out
with your friend Janine this weekend.
825
00:53:34,708 --> 00:53:38,667
I hope she's doing your brother
right now, you big-headed buffoon.
826
00:53:48,588 --> 00:53:50,021
No, no, no. You got more.
827
00:53:52,492 --> 00:53:54,289
Yeah.
828
00:53:56,262 --> 00:54:00,130
Anyway, the sooner
you get back to work...
829
00:54:00,333 --> 00:54:02,198
...the sooner you'll be partnerized.
830
00:54:02,402 --> 00:54:04,802
- I taste shit.
- You do?
831
00:54:05,538 --> 00:54:11,033
Stacy! Did you put shit in my lunch?
832
00:54:12,212 --> 00:54:14,077
I'm gonna get going now, sir.
833
00:54:14,280 --> 00:54:16,373
Stacy!
834
00:54:22,188 --> 00:54:24,156
Have you considered
the consequences...
835
00:54:24,357 --> 00:54:26,655
...of the thing
you're thinking about doing?
836
00:54:27,193 --> 00:54:29,559
Yeah. What are you saying,
I shouldn't do it?
837
00:54:29,763 --> 00:54:33,597
It's your life. What you do with
the remote is your decision, Michael.
838
00:54:33,800 --> 00:54:37,896
I know, so, I mean,
we're talking a couple of months here.
839
00:54:38,104 --> 00:54:40,629
I fast-forward through it,
what am I gonna miss?
840
00:54:40,840 --> 00:54:42,603
Thirty arguments and a haircut?
841
00:54:43,143 --> 00:54:44,872
Remember the leprechaun?
842
00:54:45,912 --> 00:54:48,676
The one from the cereal ad.
843
00:54:50,150 --> 00:54:53,210
"They're magically delicious. "
That guy?
844
00:54:53,420 --> 00:54:57,049
He's always chasing the pot of gold
at the end of the rainbow.
845
00:54:57,257 --> 00:55:00,988
But when he gets there
at the end of the day...
846
00:55:02,495 --> 00:55:04,725
...it's just corn flakes.
847
00:55:11,104 --> 00:55:12,867
- Michael.
- Yes.
848
00:55:13,072 --> 00:55:17,202
- You don't understand the metaphor?
- I won't do it, all right.
849
00:55:33,626 --> 00:55:35,184
- Dad?
- Yeah.
850
00:55:35,395 --> 00:55:38,762
- We have some designs for you.
- It's not a good time, man.
851
00:55:38,965 --> 00:55:40,956
Maybe they'll help you
finish quicker.
852
00:55:41,167 --> 00:55:43,692
All right. You want me to look at it?
Let me see.
853
00:55:44,337 --> 00:55:47,465
The ceiling's too high,
the hallway's too narrow...
854
00:55:47,674 --> 00:55:49,904
...stairway placement
makes no sense at all.
855
00:55:50,109 --> 00:55:52,509
- What the hell's this room made of?
- Pizza.
856
00:55:52,712 --> 00:55:56,079
Well, it's stupid. Next.
What is yours made of?
857
00:55:56,549 --> 00:56:00,280
- Pickles.
- Oh, don't be a baby.
858
00:56:00,487 --> 00:56:03,547
Michael, have you lost your mind?
He's 7 years old.
859
00:56:03,756 --> 00:56:06,156
If he wants a playroom made of pizza,
then why not?
860
00:56:06,359 --> 00:56:09,556
Maybe he's gotta grow up sometime
and get the hell off Fantasy Island.
861
00:56:09,762 --> 00:56:13,027
Hey, pizza boy.
Life ain't about being creative.
862
00:56:13,233 --> 00:56:16,532
It's about kissing ass, playing it safe,
making your boss a lot of money...
863
00:56:16,736 --> 00:56:19,637
...in hopes one day he might throw you
a stinking bone. All right?
864
00:56:19,839 --> 00:56:21,534
Yes, sir.
865
00:56:21,975 --> 00:56:23,704
Ammer didn't make you partner,
did he?
866
00:56:25,845 --> 00:56:28,643
Oh, honey, I'm so sorry.
867
00:56:29,249 --> 00:56:31,513
But we'll get through this, okay?
I promise.
868
00:56:31,918 --> 00:56:34,512
Jeez! Man, that's all we ever do
is get through it.
869
00:56:34,721 --> 00:56:36,882
When is it gonna end?
870
00:56:53,373 --> 00:56:54,635
Pretty sweet, eh?
871
00:56:54,841 --> 00:56:57,674
Two queen beds, full kitchen,
steam shower...
872
00:56:57,877 --> 00:57:00,038
...and satellite TV
with surround sound.
873
00:57:01,180 --> 00:57:04,843
Why are you always trying to hurt me?
One day I'm gonna hurt you back.
874
00:57:05,051 --> 00:57:08,043
Michael Newman,
I didn't know you smoked cigars.
875
00:57:08,254 --> 00:57:09,881
And now's the time.
876
00:57:10,089 --> 00:57:11,647
No, Kathy, this isn't mine.
877
00:57:11,858 --> 00:57:15,385
I took it out of Kevin's hands.
Yeah, he was smoking like a chimney.
878
00:57:15,595 --> 00:57:16,892
No, I wasn't!
879
00:57:17,096 --> 00:57:18,859
I think I smell marijuana in it.
880
00:57:19,065 --> 00:57:22,364
Kevin O'Doyle, you get your ass
in this house right now!
881
00:57:22,569 --> 00:57:23,729
I hate you.
882
00:57:23,937 --> 00:57:27,373
Are you deaf? Move it!
I don't wanna have to ask you again!
883
00:57:27,574 --> 00:57:29,565
Dope is for dopes, buddy!
884
00:57:29,776 --> 00:57:31,676
Get your ass in this house!
885
00:57:33,913 --> 00:57:35,505
We don't have
any other choice, guys.
886
00:57:35,715 --> 00:57:39,913
- No fair! I don't wanna return my bike!
- We have to, honey.
887
00:57:40,119 --> 00:57:42,883
- But Daddy gave them to us!
- Because he loves you.
888
00:57:43,089 --> 00:57:45,353
Unfortunately, there was
a mix-up at Daddy's work.
889
00:57:45,558 --> 00:57:47,458
We need to bring
the bikes back for now.
890
00:57:47,660 --> 00:57:50,857
But I already told Kevin O'Doyle
I got a new bike.
891
00:57:51,064 --> 00:57:53,828
Well, we can paint my old bike
and make it look new.
892
00:57:54,033 --> 00:57:57,867
That's a girl's bike.
All the kids will make fun of me.
893
00:57:58,271 --> 00:58:00,739
No!
894
00:58:02,141 --> 00:58:03,733
I wanna keep my bike!
895
00:58:03,943 --> 00:58:06,207
I can't take this anymore.
896
00:58:06,412 --> 00:58:08,073
Fast-forward me to my promotion.
897
00:58:13,586 --> 00:58:15,076
So here's to Michael Newman...
898
00:58:15,288 --> 00:58:18,280
...the greatest partner
I could ever dream of.
899
00:58:18,658 --> 00:58:20,285
Hear, hear!
900
00:58:20,760 --> 00:58:24,787
Thank you. Thank you, guys.
My family thanks you.
901
00:58:24,998 --> 00:58:28,263
I'm gonna do the best I can
and I won't let you down, I promise.
902
00:58:28,468 --> 00:58:30,129
Yeah!
903
00:58:30,803 --> 00:58:34,102
- Congratulations, Mr. Newman.
- This is great. Thank you.
904
00:58:34,307 --> 00:58:35,797
How's it feel, killer?
905
00:58:36,009 --> 00:58:38,807
- Feels incredible, sir.
- Well, you earned it. I'm telling you.
906
00:58:39,012 --> 00:58:41,173
Not just because of that
Watsuhita project either.
907
00:58:41,381 --> 00:58:45,112
For helping me pick up the slack
now I'm spending time with my lady.
908
00:58:45,318 --> 00:58:46,808
Hey, Dinkie.
909
00:58:47,487 --> 00:58:50,388
Are you kidding me? You guys have
been dating a couple months now?
910
00:58:50,590 --> 00:58:52,854
That's pretty huge for this one.
911
00:58:55,361 --> 00:58:57,352
No, the first few months were easy.
912
00:58:57,563 --> 00:58:59,827
It was the one-year hump
that was the tough part.
913
00:59:00,033 --> 00:59:04,094
Her inappropriate weekend
with my brother in Cabo...
914
00:59:04,303 --> 00:59:06,100
...well, that was
a potential speed bump.
915
00:59:06,305 --> 00:59:09,240
But, well, Dr. Bergman helped us
work through it, didn't he, honey?
916
00:59:09,442 --> 00:59:11,034
How's he doing for you and Donna?
917
00:59:11,544 --> 00:59:14,707
Dr. Bergman. What do you mean?
918
00:59:14,914 --> 00:59:18,111
Oh, you know what, sweetie?
It's none of our business.
919
00:59:18,317 --> 00:59:21,218
Let's let Michael bask in his glory.
Cheers.
920
00:59:21,421 --> 00:59:23,889
Bask away, partner.
921
00:59:24,657 --> 00:59:27,217
Took that bastard
a year to promote me?
922
00:59:28,761 --> 00:59:30,695
What else did I miss?
923
00:59:30,997 --> 00:59:33,295
- Shit.
- Need something, Mr. Newman?
924
00:59:33,466 --> 00:59:36,299
- Who are you?
- Kirsten, your assistant.
925
00:59:36,502 --> 00:59:38,094
What happened to Alice?
926
00:59:38,304 --> 00:59:40,738
She moved to Accounting.
Couldn't handle your hours.
927
00:59:41,307 --> 00:59:44,504
And she prefers to be called Alan now.
Remember?
928
00:59:48,347 --> 00:59:49,905
No.
929
00:59:50,416 --> 00:59:52,714
No.
930
00:59:52,919 --> 00:59:56,150
No! And who the hell's
Dr. Bergman?
931
00:59:56,889 --> 00:59:59,915
And I feel like Michael's making
no effort to connect with me at all.
932
01:00:00,126 --> 01:00:02,890
No, no. I want to. I want to.
It's- I'm on autopilot.
933
01:00:03,096 --> 01:00:06,065
"I'm on autopilot. "
More like auto-zombie.
934
01:00:06,265 --> 01:00:07,562
Good one, Donna.
935
01:00:08,668 --> 01:00:11,762
- "Good one, Donna"?
- Michael, relax.
936
01:00:11,971 --> 01:00:14,565
Who is this bigmouth?
Why can't you and I just talk?
937
01:00:14,774 --> 01:00:17,834
Why? Because there is no talking
to you. You're never home to talk to.
938
01:00:18,044 --> 01:00:21,013
And when you are, you're just sitting
there staring off into space.
939
01:00:21,214 --> 01:00:22,442
What do you want from me?
940
01:00:22,648 --> 01:00:24,843
This is what happens.
He's gonna answer his phone.
941
01:00:26,753 --> 01:00:29,381
What the heck happened?
I didn't even touch the remote.
942
01:00:29,589 --> 01:00:31,580
Great, you gonna start watching TV
at dinner?
943
01:00:31,791 --> 01:00:33,258
Oh, can we?
944
01:00:33,826 --> 01:00:36,886
Samantha. My little angel.
Look at you.
945
01:00:37,096 --> 01:00:38,586
Look how long your hair's getting.
946
01:00:38,798 --> 01:00:40,857
When did you grow up?
Ben, get over here.
947
01:00:41,067 --> 01:00:42,796
Don't worry.
I'm not gonna work tonight.
948
01:00:43,002 --> 01:00:45,061
Watch Dragon Tales together.
What do you say?
949
01:00:45,271 --> 01:00:48,763
Dragon Tales is for babies, Dad.
I wanna watch CSI.
950
01:00:48,975 --> 01:00:50,875
Yeah, CSI.
951
01:00:51,077 --> 01:00:53,102
It's the episode
when they find the lady's arm.
952
01:00:53,312 --> 01:00:57,544
What happened? I missed
the whole Dragon Tales era?
953
01:01:03,089 --> 01:01:04,750
Whoa, hey, hello.
954
01:01:06,192 --> 01:01:08,353
What are you doing?
Come here! Give me my Twinkie!
955
01:01:08,561 --> 01:01:10,085
Get back here,
you freaking gremlin!
956
01:01:10,296 --> 01:01:12,992
Don't yell at Peanut because
he found your Twinkie stash.
957
01:01:13,199 --> 01:01:14,666
Who's Peanut? Where's Sundance?
958
01:01:14,867 --> 01:01:17,495
Don't mention Sundance.
The kids just stopped crying.
959
01:01:17,703 --> 01:01:19,136
About what? Why?
What happened?
960
01:01:21,674 --> 01:01:23,107
He died?
961
01:01:26,779 --> 01:01:31,409
Oh, no, no, no. Oh, no.
962
01:01:31,617 --> 01:01:34,848
The stupid idiot and soft fur.
963
01:01:35,054 --> 01:01:38,182
- Daddy held it in so long.
- He was the best dog!
964
01:01:38,391 --> 01:01:40,916
He's finally letting himself feel it.
965
01:01:41,127 --> 01:01:45,325
One night when the duck's head
was off...
966
01:01:45,531 --> 01:01:48,227
...he tried to hump my leg
and I didn't let him...
967
01:01:48,434 --> 01:01:50,994
...and I should've and I'm sorry.
968
01:01:51,204 --> 01:01:55,470
- What an idiot.
- It's okay, it's okay.
969
01:01:55,875 --> 01:01:58,173
What the heck did I do?
970
01:01:58,377 --> 01:02:01,346
I love you. Do you still love me?
971
01:02:03,749 --> 01:02:06,013
Oh, Michael.
972
01:02:06,219 --> 01:02:08,084
It's been...
973
01:02:08,287 --> 01:02:09,879
I'm really confused.
974
01:02:10,089 --> 01:02:13,889
No, no, no. I'll change, okay?
I'll be a better man, I promise.
975
01:02:14,093 --> 01:02:17,187
Don't go, don't go.
I'll stop working so much, okay?
976
01:02:17,396 --> 01:02:20,661
I'll be with you. Just stay with me.
977
01:02:20,867 --> 01:02:24,803
Oh, my God, it didn't take the duck
long to get over Sundance.
978
01:02:25,504 --> 01:02:28,962
It's a little deviant,
but it's kind of turning me on.
979
01:02:29,175 --> 01:02:31,803
Yeah, well, let's kiss and make up.
980
01:02:46,926 --> 01:02:49,690
No. No!
981
01:02:49,896 --> 01:02:52,023
It's not my fault.
982
01:02:52,231 --> 01:02:54,927
It jumped on its own.
I didn't even hit the button.
983
01:02:55,134 --> 01:02:56,533
Not even close.
984
01:02:59,705 --> 01:03:01,070
Yes?
985
01:03:04,577 --> 01:03:07,102
- You scared-
- Honey, what's going on down there?
986
01:03:07,313 --> 01:03:11,443
It's all right! I-
There was a mouse! I killed it!
987
01:03:11,651 --> 01:03:15,610
It's dead! But it broke the table first!
988
01:03:15,821 --> 01:03:19,416
- How did you get in here?
- I had a feeling you wanted to see me.
989
01:03:19,625 --> 01:03:21,559
I'm freaking out.
This thing, it's broken.
990
01:03:21,761 --> 01:03:24,252
It's just- It's fast-forwarding
on its own now.
991
01:03:24,463 --> 01:03:26,488
It's not a malfunction, it's a feature.
992
01:03:26,699 --> 01:03:30,533
It's using its memory
to execute your preferences.
993
01:03:30,736 --> 01:03:32,567
It remembers stuff?
What do you mean?
994
01:03:32,772 --> 01:03:36,401
It's an advanced piece of equipment,
like TiVo.
995
01:03:36,909 --> 01:03:38,570
You could call it MeVo.
996
01:03:38,778 --> 01:03:41,804
I fast-forwarded through sex one time,
I don't wanna skip it forever.
997
01:03:42,014 --> 01:03:43,641
I like sex. It feels good.
998
01:03:43,849 --> 01:03:48,047
Correct me if I'm wrong, but you
fast-forwarded through an entire year.
999
01:03:48,254 --> 01:03:49,778
That's a lot of sex.
1000
01:03:49,989 --> 01:03:53,550
Put it all together,
that's like 30 minutes' worth for you.
1001
01:03:53,759 --> 01:03:56,125
Oh, no, no. So what,
everything I fast-forwarded...
1002
01:03:56,329 --> 01:03:58,661
- ... it's gonna do it on its own now?
- Pretty much.
1003
01:03:58,864 --> 01:04:00,991
No more showering, no more traffic.
1004
01:04:01,200 --> 01:04:03,725
No more arguing.
No more sickness.
1005
01:04:03,936 --> 01:04:05,335
This is bad, this is bad.
1006
01:04:05,538 --> 01:04:07,529
You take it back,
I'm deactivating my service.
1007
01:04:07,740 --> 01:04:10,766
I quit, I quit. Thanks for everything,
all right, but I-
1008
01:04:13,179 --> 01:04:14,168
Yeah.
1009
01:04:20,453 --> 01:04:23,980
You... This is not...
1010
01:04:27,193 --> 01:04:28,455
Don't be mean.
1011
01:04:32,031 --> 01:04:33,089
Nice hat.
1012
01:04:33,833 --> 01:04:36,131
No, no, no.
1013
01:04:39,171 --> 01:04:43,540
Get away from me. Just get away.
Get away. Leave me alone.
1014
01:04:43,743 --> 01:04:47,577
Is this a stickup?
Or are you just happy?
1015
01:04:49,515 --> 01:04:51,346
Yeah? I'm gonna
take my clothes off, then-
1016
01:04:51,550 --> 01:04:53,142
I wouldn't do that if I were you.
1017
01:04:53,352 --> 01:04:56,185
There's only one place left
for it to pop up.
1018
01:04:57,723 --> 01:05:01,318
Oh. No, no, I don't want that.
Come on, man.
1019
01:05:01,527 --> 01:05:05,725
I told you,
this item is nonreturnable.
1020
01:05:06,932 --> 01:05:09,924
- Come on, just take it.
- Until we meet again.
1021
01:05:10,136 --> 01:05:15,039
Don't do that. Come on, Morty.
How do I get it to stop fast-forwarding?
1022
01:05:17,810 --> 01:05:20,210
Morning, sweetie.
1023
01:05:21,347 --> 01:05:22,974
You wanna shower first?
1024
01:05:23,182 --> 01:05:26,913
Yeah. No! I can't shower
because then I'll fast-forward.
1025
01:05:27,119 --> 01:05:29,917
And if I fast-forward, who knows
how long I'll fast-forward for.
1026
01:05:30,122 --> 01:05:33,023
How's this? I'm gonna rough it today,
like in the Old West. Okay?
1027
01:05:33,225 --> 01:05:35,819
Donna, I wanna tell you
what's going on right now so bad...
1028
01:05:36,028 --> 01:05:39,327
...but it might lead to an argument.
We can't argue because off I'll go.
1029
01:05:39,532 --> 01:05:41,159
So just know there is a problem.
1030
01:05:41,367 --> 01:05:44,165
I tried to get rid of the problem,
it almost ended up in my ass.
1031
01:05:44,370 --> 01:05:46,463
I'm gonna go to work
and try to figure this out.
1032
01:05:46,672 --> 01:05:48,299
You're going to work
in your bathrobe?
1033
01:05:48,507 --> 01:05:50,566
Honey. We can't argue, okay?
No more arguing.
1034
01:05:50,776 --> 01:05:53,210
You're right. I'm wrong. All the time.
You want a kiss?
1035
01:05:53,412 --> 01:05:56,108
- I'll take a kiss.
- I can't. If I give you a kiss...
1036
01:05:56,315 --> 01:05:59,216
...it might lead to something else,
then... three minutes goes by.
1037
01:05:59,418 --> 01:06:01,579
You're laying there disappointed,
I'm smiling.
1038
01:06:01,787 --> 01:06:05,086
I wanna be with you every minute
of my life, that's why I gotta leave now.
1039
01:06:05,291 --> 01:06:06,883
Have a great day!
1040
01:06:07,093 --> 01:06:11,587
Once again, Michael left Donna
in bed confused and unsatisfied.
1041
01:06:11,797 --> 01:06:13,389
Shut up, James Earl Jones!
1042
01:06:13,599 --> 01:06:16,534
No, you shut up, big mouth!
1043
01:07:09,388 --> 01:07:11,322
Michael!
1044
01:07:11,524 --> 01:07:13,321
Mr. Ammer is here
1045
01:07:13,993 --> 01:07:17,827
Your first day as a partner, you come
to work in a fricking bathrobe?
1046
01:07:18,030 --> 01:07:20,521
I did. I did.
1047
01:07:20,733 --> 01:07:24,191
John, I just feel we should
stop wasting our energy...
1048
01:07:24,403 --> 01:07:27,668
...on corporate brown-nosing and
worrying who's got the better suit.
1049
01:07:27,873 --> 01:07:30,467
Armani, Calvin Klein, who cares?
1050
01:07:30,676 --> 01:07:33,839
Let's concentrate
on what really matters, the work.
1051
01:07:35,915 --> 01:07:38,179
That's the craziest thing
I've ever heard.
1052
01:07:40,252 --> 01:07:42,516
But goddamn it, you're right.
1053
01:07:46,258 --> 01:07:49,659
Life-changing. I feel freer.
1054
01:07:49,995 --> 01:07:51,360
Yeah- Keep the pants on.
1055
01:07:52,164 --> 01:07:54,325
Sexual harassment, eh?
1056
01:07:54,967 --> 01:07:56,867
Speaking of life-changing...
1057
01:07:57,069 --> 01:08:02,063
...there's something, or actually
someone, I'd like to talk to you about.
1058
01:08:03,676 --> 01:08:05,507
- Janine.
- Everything okay?
1059
01:08:05,711 --> 01:08:08,339
Michael, Janine and I decided
to drop out of the rat race...
1060
01:08:08,547 --> 01:08:09,912
...slow down, move to Morocco.
1061
01:08:10,115 --> 01:08:12,640
- Morocco?
- Morocco.
1062
01:08:13,319 --> 01:08:14,286
Okay.
1063
01:08:14,486 --> 01:08:17,319
Eric Lamensoff will assume
my day-to-day responsibilities...
1064
01:08:17,523 --> 01:08:19,684
...and I'd like you to take his job.
1065
01:08:20,459 --> 01:08:25,123
But Eric Lamensoff is the head
of the whole international division.
1066
01:08:25,331 --> 01:08:27,322
- I've been your partner one day.
- So?
1067
01:08:27,533 --> 01:08:30,297
Every account you worked on
turned into gold.
1068
01:08:30,502 --> 01:08:32,060
You know, I wouldn't be surprised...
1069
01:08:32,271 --> 01:08:34,569
...if one day you ended up
being our CEO.
1070
01:08:35,708 --> 01:08:38,506
Hey, I would love
for that to happen, but-
1071
01:08:38,711 --> 01:08:41,680
No! No, no, no!
I don't want a promotion!
1072
01:08:41,880 --> 01:08:44,713
No!
1073
01:08:49,288 --> 01:08:52,086
Michael, you have a phone call.
1074
01:08:52,291 --> 01:08:53,383
Michael Newman.
1075
01:08:57,096 --> 01:08:58,222
Word up, big guy.
1076
01:08:58,430 --> 01:09:01,888
Ten years ago you told me
you wanted to be CEO.
1077
01:09:02,101 --> 01:09:05,434
Great news.
Eric Lamensoff killed himself.
1078
01:09:05,638 --> 01:09:08,232
So you better stop with the junk food,
Mr. Chairman...
1079
01:09:08,440 --> 01:09:10,772
...or you'll end up
killing yourself too.
1080
01:09:14,346 --> 01:09:16,712
Opening virtual blinds.
1081
01:09:16,915 --> 01:09:21,545
Ten years?
How much worse can things get?
1082
01:09:37,369 --> 01:09:39,894
Oh, my God, I'm a fat guy!
1083
01:09:40,105 --> 01:09:41,572
Look at me.
1084
01:09:47,646 --> 01:09:50,547
What is this? This is titties.
1085
01:09:51,250 --> 01:09:53,275
I got juicy titties!
1086
01:09:53,485 --> 01:09:55,214
What- What is that?
1087
01:09:55,421 --> 01:09:59,152
Oh, God, no.
1088
01:09:59,692 --> 01:10:01,182
Just take me home.
1089
01:10:07,966 --> 01:10:11,333
This is 1010 WINS news.
February 5th, 2017.
1090
01:10:11,537 --> 01:10:13,801
Britney Spears
had her 23rd baby today.
1091
01:10:14,006 --> 01:10:17,373
Proud father Kevin Federline says
he's now considering getting a job.
1092
01:10:17,576 --> 01:10:20,909
Also, Michael Jackson,
the first man to clone himself...
1093
01:10:21,113 --> 01:10:23,809
...is now suing himself
for molesting himself.
1094
01:10:37,629 --> 01:10:39,028
Donna!
1095
01:10:39,932 --> 01:10:41,661
Donna!
1096
01:10:50,843 --> 01:10:51,901
Can I help you?
1097
01:10:53,445 --> 01:10:57,108
- Hey, Dad.
- "Hey, Dad"?
1098
01:10:57,316 --> 01:11:00,251
Ben? That's you?
1099
01:11:00,452 --> 01:11:03,546
Look how big you got.
You're enormous.
1100
01:11:04,123 --> 01:11:07,889
Look who's talking, Captain Twinkie
of the S.S. Fat-Ass!
1101
01:11:08,093 --> 01:11:09,583
Really good for my self-esteem.
1102
01:11:09,795 --> 01:11:12,195
Maybe if you would take me
to Pilates like you said...
1103
01:11:12,398 --> 01:11:14,423
...people wouldn't think
I was Rosie O'Donnell!
1104
01:11:14,633 --> 01:11:16,157
Come on, I love you!
1105
01:11:16,368 --> 01:11:19,201
- Bring me back the Twinkies!
- You're so cruel!
1106
01:11:19,405 --> 01:11:21,771
Will you please stop yelling?
It is so embarrassing.
1107
01:11:21,974 --> 01:11:25,068
- Is that my daughter?
- Mom, I'm going to Derek's!
1108
01:11:25,277 --> 01:11:28,838
That's you, Samantha?
When did you get boobs?
1109
01:11:29,181 --> 01:11:31,775
The same time you did, Dad.
Now can I go?
1110
01:11:31,984 --> 01:11:34,214
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Who the hell's this Derek guy?
1111
01:11:34,420 --> 01:11:37,583
My boyfriend, the hottest boy
in school, hello?
1112
01:11:37,790 --> 01:11:39,758
He's gonna be hot
when I burn his house down.
1113
01:11:39,958 --> 01:11:41,926
Get your ass upstairs,
put normal clothes on.
1114
01:11:42,127 --> 01:11:44,960
- Why are you so mean to me?
- Get them on now!
1115
01:11:45,164 --> 01:11:47,223
- And wipe off all that makeup!
- Right!
1116
01:11:49,701 --> 01:11:51,362
Is Peanut dead too?
1117
01:11:52,571 --> 01:11:55,131
This one's got the duck
doing all the work.
1118
01:11:57,976 --> 01:11:59,705
Donna. Donna.
1119
01:12:01,313 --> 01:12:02,803
Goddamn it.
1120
01:12:03,015 --> 01:12:06,075
Look how gorgeous you look.
I'm so scared.
1121
01:12:06,285 --> 01:12:09,345
- Knock, knock, gang.
- Hey, sweetie.
1122
01:12:15,360 --> 01:12:16,520
What's going on?
1123
01:12:16,728 --> 01:12:18,491
Donna and I were gonna get
hot chocolate.
1124
01:12:18,697 --> 01:12:20,927
- You want us to bring you one?
- You cheating on me?
1125
01:12:21,133 --> 01:12:22,725
With Johnny G-String over here?
1126
01:12:22,935 --> 01:12:24,994
Come on. Time-out.
I thought we were past that.
1127
01:12:25,204 --> 01:12:28,435
No, no, no, we're past this argument.
No, you're right, no big deal.
1128
01:12:28,640 --> 01:12:31,404
Hey, it's just that you don't
mess with another man's wife!
1129
01:12:31,610 --> 01:12:33,578
Michael! Stop it! Stop it, Michael!
1130
01:12:33,779 --> 01:12:35,747
It was your decision to move out!
So stay out!
1131
01:12:35,948 --> 01:12:37,677
Get off me!
You sticking up for him?
1132
01:12:37,883 --> 01:12:40,511
Go away! Go away, I hate you!
1133
01:12:40,719 --> 01:12:43,244
- We can't argue! Donna, please!
- I hate you! I hate you!
1134
01:12:44,289 --> 01:12:45,688
Oh, man!
1135
01:12:45,891 --> 01:12:47,916
You hate me?
1136
01:12:50,963 --> 01:12:54,729
No. No.
1137
01:12:54,933 --> 01:12:57,493
Ten years, you're not finished yet?
1138
01:12:57,870 --> 01:13:02,637
Morty! Why did you do this to me?
1139
01:13:02,841 --> 01:13:05,105
You did this to yourself, Michael.
1140
01:13:05,310 --> 01:13:07,710
No. No, I didn't wanna
waste all that time.
1141
01:13:07,913 --> 01:13:09,312
I didn't wanna lose Donna!
1142
01:13:09,515 --> 01:13:11,244
The remote goes by your behavior.
1143
01:13:11,450 --> 01:13:14,942
Every time you had a conflict
between work and home, work won.
1144
01:13:15,153 --> 01:13:16,643
- No, not true.
- Lie to your wife.
1145
01:13:16,855 --> 01:13:19,449
Lie to yourself.
But you cannot lie to the remote.
1146
01:13:19,658 --> 01:13:23,560
The remote is lie-proof, so you can't
change what already happened.
1147
01:13:23,762 --> 01:13:25,696
But you're still a young man.
1148
01:13:25,898 --> 01:13:28,560
A young, fat man.
You could win Donna back.
1149
01:13:28,767 --> 01:13:30,826
So that's what I'll do.
1150
01:13:31,036 --> 01:13:32,833
Go for it, tubs.
1151
01:13:33,772 --> 01:13:38,175
I saw what you did to the duck.
Very good. Nice work.
1152
01:13:54,159 --> 01:13:55,854
You'll feel that in a second.
1153
01:13:56,328 --> 01:13:59,627
All right, please,
please just read my note.
1154
01:13:59,831 --> 01:14:02,595
- hate you! I hate you! I hate you!
1155
01:14:13,312 --> 01:14:15,473
Michael, are you awake?
1156
01:14:16,815 --> 01:14:20,410
Michael, honey. Are you awake?
1157
01:14:22,421 --> 01:14:24,321
Donna.
1158
01:14:26,959 --> 01:14:29,427
Where'd all my fat go?
1159
01:14:32,097 --> 01:14:35,692
It was just a dream?
A terrible, terrible dream.
1160
01:14:35,901 --> 01:14:37,926
What's that, Michael?
You had a bad dream?
1161
01:14:38,136 --> 01:14:40,434
Did a fuzzy dog push me over?
1162
01:14:42,341 --> 01:14:44,536
Oh, Shaggy the miracle dog?
1163
01:14:44,743 --> 01:14:46,836
Yeah, if he hadn't knocked you
on your noggin...
1164
01:14:47,045 --> 01:14:50,446
...you wouldn't have had the CAT scan
that found the cancer before it spread.
1165
01:14:50,649 --> 01:14:52,082
I have cancer?
1166
01:14:52,284 --> 01:14:54,115
No, you had cancer.
1167
01:14:54,319 --> 01:14:56,549
You're the only person
to gain weight during chemo.
1168
01:14:56,755 --> 01:14:58,746
That's probably what caused
your heart attack.
1169
01:14:58,957 --> 01:15:00,219
Heart attack?
1170
01:15:00,425 --> 01:15:02,416
I thought they weaned you
off the morphine.
1171
01:15:03,161 --> 01:15:04,788
Okay, Mr. Junk Food...
1172
01:15:04,997 --> 01:15:07,591
...since the injury,
you haven't been healthy a full day.
1173
01:15:07,799 --> 01:15:10,165
When exactly did I hurt my head?
1174
01:15:11,136 --> 01:15:14,503
When was it? Like, six years ago?
1175
01:15:14,706 --> 01:15:20,076
Six more years! No! No!
It skipped all my sickness.
1176
01:15:20,278 --> 01:15:22,246
I'm gonna ask them
to cut back on painkillers.
1177
01:15:22,447 --> 01:15:24,005
Donna, don't go.
1178
01:15:25,684 --> 01:15:27,345
What's this?
1179
01:15:29,888 --> 01:15:33,915
That's not bad
for your third liposuction.
1180
01:15:35,160 --> 01:15:37,025
One more tummy tuck
should take care of it.
1181
01:15:38,096 --> 01:15:40,826
Oh, it looks like a tongue...
1182
01:15:41,033 --> 01:15:42,625
...licking.
1183
01:15:43,735 --> 01:15:47,193
Look, I should go.
Bill's waiting for me downstairs.
1184
01:15:47,406 --> 01:15:49,306
- So I'll probably-
- Bill?
1185
01:15:49,508 --> 01:15:51,874
You're still with Speedo Torpedo?
1186
01:15:52,077 --> 01:15:54,705
Whatever happened
to "forever and ever," honey?
1187
01:15:54,913 --> 01:15:57,040
"Forever and ever"?
1188
01:15:57,249 --> 01:16:00,582
Look, Michael, I'm trying to have
a civilized relationship with you...
1189
01:16:00,786 --> 01:16:02,117
...for the kids' sake.
1190
01:16:02,320 --> 01:16:04,948
I really wanna be friends,
but I can't do that if you-
1191
01:16:05,157 --> 01:16:06,818
Would you stop flapping that thing?
1192
01:16:07,025 --> 01:16:09,789
It's my flap, I'll do
whatever the hell I want with it!
1193
01:16:11,697 --> 01:16:12,721
You done?
1194
01:16:14,700 --> 01:16:16,861
Look, Bill's my husband.
1195
01:16:17,069 --> 01:16:19,867
Please learn to accept that.
I really have to go.
1196
01:16:20,072 --> 01:16:22,404
Husband? Donna?
1197
01:16:22,607 --> 01:16:28,204
No. Donna. Donna. Donna!
1198
01:16:28,780 --> 01:16:31,442
Welcome to Newman Architecture.
1199
01:16:31,650 --> 01:16:34,278
Building a better world for all of us.
1200
01:16:34,486 --> 01:16:36,647
Architect of the year, 2018.
1201
01:16:36,855 --> 01:16:39,380
All your dreams came true,
huh, moron?
1202
01:16:39,591 --> 01:16:42,424
Dad. Hey, how you feeling?
1203
01:16:44,329 --> 01:16:47,992
- Benjamin. Look at that.
- Look- What?
1204
01:16:48,200 --> 01:16:52,364
Your face. Your skinny face.
You're shaving now, huh, kid?
1205
01:16:52,571 --> 01:16:57,099
Your entire ass is gone.
What happened? Good for you.
1206
01:16:57,309 --> 01:17:01,746
Right, my ass. Why don't
we talk about it in my office.
1207
01:17:04,583 --> 01:17:06,744
My old office.
1208
01:17:09,988 --> 01:17:13,185
The architect. How did this happen?
1209
01:17:13,391 --> 01:17:17,452
- Mom said you were still a little loopy.
- No, no, no. I'm feeling terrific.
1210
01:17:17,662 --> 01:17:21,257
The weight. How did you do it?
Staple treatment like your old man?
1211
01:17:21,466 --> 01:17:23,525
Wanna have a flap fight?
You gotta see this-
1212
01:17:23,735 --> 01:17:27,227
No. Just working out with Bill
five times a week. Same as always.
1213
01:17:32,544 --> 01:17:37,846
That's a looker.
Blondie, big lips. Chesty.
1214
01:17:38,049 --> 01:17:39,277
Is that your girl?
1215
01:17:40,085 --> 01:17:42,110
No, that's your daughter Samantha.
1216
01:17:42,554 --> 01:17:43,987
Of course it is.
1217
01:17:44,189 --> 01:17:46,817
And you better
always take care of her...
1218
01:17:47,025 --> 01:17:50,825
...and make sure nobody touches her
except you.
1219
01:17:51,763 --> 01:17:54,891
Pop, I'm just getting ready
for this meeting.
1220
01:17:56,301 --> 01:17:59,327
Okay. Absolutely.
I'll take off for you.
1221
01:18:01,273 --> 01:18:05,141
I'd like to spend more time together.
All of us.
1222
01:18:05,343 --> 01:18:07,402
Take you out for ice cream.
How's that?
1223
01:18:07,779 --> 01:18:09,644
I know your mother won't come...
1224
01:18:09,848 --> 01:18:13,978
...but you, Samantha,
Grandpa, Grandma.
1225
01:18:14,386 --> 01:18:15,683
That'd be nice, huh?
1226
01:18:17,322 --> 01:18:19,756
I knew something
was funny with you today.
1227
01:18:19,958 --> 01:18:23,485
Papa, take a seat.
Let me get you a water, okay?
1228
01:18:24,830 --> 01:18:26,957
What are we sitting for?
1229
01:18:28,200 --> 01:18:32,136
- Here you go, Pop, drink this.
- All right. Drink some water.
1230
01:18:34,139 --> 01:18:35,936
There, I had my water.
What's going on?
1231
01:18:39,244 --> 01:18:41,007
Grandpa died, Dad.
1232
01:18:44,149 --> 01:18:46,379
He died a while back now.
1233
01:18:50,822 --> 01:18:54,883
No, no, no.
1234
01:18:55,093 --> 01:18:57,459
Don't say that.
1235
01:18:58,263 --> 01:19:00,993
Where was I?
1236
01:19:01,199 --> 01:19:02,496
You're crying?
1237
01:19:03,602 --> 01:19:05,695
What happened?
1238
01:19:06,738 --> 01:19:11,402
Nothing. You know,
he just got old. That's life.
1239
01:19:11,610 --> 01:19:15,478
- Shit.
- You're born and you live and you die.
1240
01:19:16,815 --> 01:19:18,112
Man, I gotta go.
1241
01:19:18,316 --> 01:19:20,443
Hey, hang on.
Susie, push my next meeting.
1242
01:19:20,652 --> 01:19:22,916
No, no, do your meeting.
It's fine. I'm just dizzy.
1243
01:19:23,121 --> 01:19:25,851
- Why are you crying?
- I'm dizzy from the operation.
1244
01:19:26,057 --> 01:19:29,720
- You're gonna make me cry, Dad.
- You don't- You don't have to go.
1245
01:19:33,965 --> 01:19:36,229
You look- You look good.
1246
01:19:36,434 --> 01:19:38,334
It's all right. Goodbye.
1247
01:19:53,485 --> 01:19:55,146
Come on.
1248
01:19:55,353 --> 01:19:56,684
Come on.
1249
01:19:56,888 --> 01:19:58,947
It won't take you there.
1250
01:19:59,491 --> 01:20:00,958
Take me where?
1251
01:20:01,726 --> 01:20:04,559
To the moment he died.
You weren't there.
1252
01:20:04,963 --> 01:20:07,022
Of course I wasn't.
1253
01:20:08,767 --> 01:20:11,099
Can you take me
to the last time I saw him, please?
1254
01:20:14,706 --> 01:20:18,233
Hey, Dad. Sorry to bug you.
1255
01:20:18,443 --> 01:20:21,810
Would you mind looking
at my shopping mall design again?
1256
01:20:22,013 --> 01:20:23,275
This one is cheaper.
1257
01:20:23,481 --> 01:20:26,507
But if you check this out...
1258
01:20:26,718 --> 01:20:29,744
...you'll see it has
a much better natural flow-
1259
01:20:29,955 --> 01:20:32,981
Cheaper one, like I said.
Now, just let me do my e-mail.
1260
01:20:34,960 --> 01:20:37,053
Yeah. Yeah, you're right, Dad.
1261
01:20:37,262 --> 01:20:40,231
He ain't right. You're a schmuck!
Look at it!
1262
01:20:40,765 --> 01:20:41,754
Surprise.
1263
01:20:41,967 --> 01:20:44,299
Hey, Grandpa.
1264
01:20:44,736 --> 01:20:47,261
Oh, my God.
1265
01:20:51,076 --> 01:20:53,567
When did you get so handsome?
1266
01:20:53,778 --> 01:20:56,178
So, Michael, I had a wonderful idea.
1267
01:20:56,381 --> 01:20:58,781
Your mother's playing canasta
with her friends tonight.
1268
01:20:58,984 --> 01:21:01,350
I thought,
"What a great opportunity. "
1269
01:21:01,553 --> 01:21:04,613
You, me and Ben should go
and have a boys' night out.
1270
01:21:04,823 --> 01:21:07,257
- Can't.
- What do you mean you can't?
1271
01:21:07,459 --> 01:21:08,619
You have to eat sometime.
1272
01:21:08,827 --> 01:21:11,227
We could go,
we could whistle at pretty girls.
1273
01:21:11,429 --> 01:21:13,693
- I'm down for that.
- See? He's down.
1274
01:21:13,898 --> 01:21:15,957
I don't know what it means,
but he's down.
1275
01:21:16,167 --> 01:21:19,603
- Hey. Please.
- Don't give me that finger.
1276
01:21:24,642 --> 01:21:26,769
I'll make you a deal.
1277
01:21:26,978 --> 01:21:31,312
If you come, I'll show you
the quarter trick.
1278
01:21:31,516 --> 01:21:33,882
- Will you look at the man?
- I'll tell you the secret.
1279
01:21:34,085 --> 01:21:35,985
No, Dad.
1280
01:21:36,187 --> 01:21:37,449
Don't you wanna know how I-?
1281
01:21:37,655 --> 01:21:40,123
I know how you do the stupid trick.
I've always known.
1282
01:21:40,325 --> 01:21:41,622
Can you let me do my work?
1283
01:21:46,197 --> 01:21:47,858
You've always known.
1284
01:21:48,066 --> 01:21:49,533
You're pathetic.
1285
01:21:50,535 --> 01:21:52,059
Okay.
1286
01:21:54,739 --> 01:21:57,299
I'm so sorry I barged in.
1287
01:21:57,709 --> 01:21:59,802
I love you, son.
1288
01:22:02,614 --> 01:22:04,479
See you later, Grandpa, I love you.
1289
01:22:04,682 --> 01:22:06,274
Dad.
1290
01:22:06,951 --> 01:22:08,714
Pop.
1291
01:22:08,920 --> 01:22:10,615
Pop.
1292
01:22:34,679 --> 01:22:36,738
I love you, son.
1293
01:22:40,752 --> 01:22:42,811
I love you, son.
1294
01:22:44,522 --> 01:22:46,547
I love you, son.
1295
01:22:52,530 --> 01:22:54,725
I love you too, Dad.
1296
01:23:00,004 --> 01:23:01,801
I'll miss you.
1297
01:23:04,175 --> 01:23:05,540
You know that.
1298
01:23:09,214 --> 01:23:10,875
Goodbye.
1299
01:23:36,708 --> 01:23:39,074
I'm sorry about your father.
1300
01:23:39,511 --> 01:23:43,470
Taking him wasn't something
I wanted to do.
1301
01:23:44,215 --> 01:23:45,648
What do you mean "taking him"?
1302
01:23:45,850 --> 01:23:47,442
I'm an angel, Michael.
1303
01:23:47,986 --> 01:23:49,647
An angel?
1304
01:23:50,555 --> 01:23:53,080
I thought an angel was
supposed to protect people.
1305
01:23:53,291 --> 01:23:55,350
I'm the angel of death.
1306
01:23:57,295 --> 01:24:00,093
Your dad, it was his time.
1307
01:24:01,699 --> 01:24:03,667
You bastard.
1308
01:24:11,409 --> 01:24:13,274
All right, leave me alone.
Leave me alone.
1309
01:24:13,478 --> 01:24:16,936
You had your fun.
Just take me to a good place.
1310
01:24:32,931 --> 01:24:37,527
And now, everybody, it's time
for Mr. Newman to say a few words.
1311
01:24:38,136 --> 01:24:39,694
Yay, Michael!
1312
01:24:41,739 --> 01:24:44,503
Go get them, Michael! Speech!
1313
01:24:47,312 --> 01:24:49,803
Wedding cake. Wedding cake.
1314
01:24:50,582 --> 01:24:53,380
Okay, where's the groom?
Show your face.
1315
01:24:53,585 --> 01:24:55,177
Hi, Dad.
1316
01:24:55,887 --> 01:24:59,516
Ben. I didn't miss
my son's wedding.
1317
01:24:59,724 --> 01:25:04,161
Wow, this is terrific, buddy.
Who's the lucky lady?
1318
01:25:04,796 --> 01:25:07,390
Very funny, Mr. Newman.
1319
01:25:10,268 --> 01:25:11,735
Aunt Peggy, is that you?
1320
01:25:13,304 --> 01:25:15,238
God, you got old.
1321
01:25:17,208 --> 01:25:22,544
No, no. I- She- I'm just playing.
She knows that.
1322
01:25:28,386 --> 01:25:29,683
Ma.
1323
01:25:33,791 --> 01:25:36,191
Ben's wife...
1324
01:25:36,828 --> 01:25:38,090
...welcome to the family.
1325
01:25:38,296 --> 01:25:39,456
Thank you.
1326
01:25:39,664 --> 01:25:42,462
Congratulations.
Let's have the best night, okay?
1327
01:25:52,443 --> 01:25:57,039
Look at you, Ma. You look amazing.
1328
01:25:58,716 --> 01:26:02,379
Michael, you haven't kissed me
like that since you were a little boy.
1329
01:26:02,587 --> 01:26:05,920
You are the best, Ma.
You know I know that, right?
1330
01:26:06,124 --> 01:26:09,287
Oh, darling, that's so sweet.
1331
01:26:09,961 --> 01:26:13,761
You know, Michael, your father
would've loved to be here.
1332
01:26:13,965 --> 01:26:15,432
I know, Ma.
1333
01:26:16,301 --> 01:26:19,327
Okay? I'm just glad you're here.
1334
01:26:20,104 --> 01:26:25,474
Me too, bubbala. Me too. Me too.
It's beautiful. Beautiful.
1335
01:26:25,943 --> 01:26:27,308
Beautiful. Look at her.
1336
01:26:27,979 --> 01:26:29,970
Donna, my favorite.
1337
01:26:30,815 --> 01:26:33,147
You're such a schmuck
for letting her go.
1338
01:26:33,351 --> 01:26:36,445
But don't let me ruin your evening.
I'll talk to you later.
1339
01:26:36,654 --> 01:26:38,622
Christina.
1340
01:26:41,426 --> 01:26:44,259
Michael, you've been so generous
taking care of all this...
1341
01:26:44,462 --> 01:26:45,622
...and the kids' honeymoon.
1342
01:26:45,830 --> 01:26:47,923
- Absolutely.
- Thank you so much.
1343
01:26:48,132 --> 01:26:52,330
Of course. Ben's wife
seems like a nice kid, huh?
1344
01:26:52,537 --> 01:26:55,472
- I think she's wonderful.
- Definite keeper.
1345
01:26:55,673 --> 01:26:59,200
Here's one you might remember
from The Cranberries.
1346
01:27:04,549 --> 01:27:07,143
Out of all the songs, huh?
1347
01:27:08,786 --> 01:27:10,720
Bill, since it's our son's wedding...
1348
01:27:10,922 --> 01:27:13,823
...do you mind if I dance
with my ex-husband for a minute?
1349
01:27:14,025 --> 01:27:16,289
- Not at all.
- Thank you.
1350
01:27:16,494 --> 01:27:19,054
Just have her back by midnight,
all right, champ?
1351
01:27:19,263 --> 01:27:20,457
You got it, Bill.
1352
01:27:32,710 --> 01:27:35,076
Why does he have
a bathing suit on?
1353
01:27:36,781 --> 01:27:38,942
Nice Speedo, buddy.
1354
01:27:50,962 --> 01:27:52,827
Still smelling good, huh?
1355
01:27:53,030 --> 01:27:55,521
After all these years.
1356
01:27:57,235 --> 01:27:58,702
Are you happy?
1357
01:27:58,903 --> 01:28:01,633
Of course I'm happy,
our son just got married.
1358
01:28:01,839 --> 01:28:06,503
Not about that. Are you happy
about where our lives ended up?
1359
01:28:06,711 --> 01:28:09,578
"Ended. " It's not over yet.
1360
01:28:09,781 --> 01:28:13,444
- That's my Donna.
- It's true.
1361
01:28:14,952 --> 01:28:16,579
That Samantha?
1362
01:28:17,188 --> 01:28:21,522
Hey. What are you doing?
Put a sweater on. Cover them up.
1363
01:28:22,527 --> 01:28:23,926
What is with you?
1364
01:28:25,897 --> 01:28:27,762
Just kidding, I...
1365
01:28:27,965 --> 01:28:30,798
Just not used to seeing you
all grown-up like this.
1366
01:28:31,803 --> 01:28:36,740
Okay, well, if that's your way of telling
me that I look pretty, then thank you.
1367
01:28:37,275 --> 01:28:38,708
Let's go get some cake.
1368
01:28:38,910 --> 01:28:40,810
- I'll race you there, Dad. Come on.
- Okay.
1369
01:28:42,513 --> 01:28:44,140
"Dad"?
1370
01:28:46,651 --> 01:28:47,948
Michael, are you okay?
1371
01:28:50,555 --> 01:28:54,082
Is there a doctor?
We need a doctor here!
1372
01:28:57,195 --> 01:28:58,492
Michael!
1373
01:28:58,696 --> 01:29:01,460
- Dad!
- Dad!
1374
01:29:03,468 --> 01:29:05,163
It's just corn flakes.
1375
01:29:30,495 --> 01:29:33,259
One dance, you pop an artery.
1376
01:29:34,532 --> 01:29:38,662
Why'd you make me
waste my entire life?
1377
01:29:38,870 --> 01:29:40,963
You were fast-forwarding
through your life...
1378
01:29:41,172 --> 01:29:43,538
...long before you ever met me.
1379
01:29:43,741 --> 01:29:45,800
You lived the life you chose,
big shot.
1380
01:29:46,677 --> 01:29:48,770
This is not the life I wanted.
1381
01:29:48,980 --> 01:29:50,379
It is.
1382
01:29:55,620 --> 01:29:56,814
Looks like it is.
1383
01:30:00,691 --> 01:30:03,819
Hey. You're up. How you feeling?
1384
01:30:05,763 --> 01:30:08,698
I feel better
now that you guys are here.
1385
01:30:08,900 --> 01:30:11,164
Samantha's been here
like 36 hours straight.
1386
01:30:11,369 --> 01:30:14,736
She said she wouldn't leave
the hospital until you woke up.
1387
01:30:15,706 --> 01:30:19,733
- Why'd you do that?
- Because. You're my father.
1388
01:30:20,344 --> 01:30:22,812
I thought Bill was your father.
1389
01:30:23,548 --> 01:30:25,675
I have two fathers.
1390
01:30:26,651 --> 01:30:31,315
One of them told me he was gonna
live till he was 200. Remember?
1391
01:30:33,224 --> 01:30:35,658
You both really need
to get some sleep.
1392
01:30:35,860 --> 01:30:38,055
And I got a plane to catch.
1393
01:30:38,796 --> 01:30:41,492
Big Ben's gotta go
on his honeymoon.
1394
01:30:42,166 --> 01:30:44,760
Actually, I just canceled
the honeymoon.
1395
01:30:44,969 --> 01:30:48,837
Kensington deal might fall through,
so I gotta go do damage control.
1396
01:30:49,040 --> 01:30:50,837
- Julie and I can go to Italy anytime.
- No.
1397
01:30:51,042 --> 01:30:52,270
It's not that big a deal.
1398
01:30:52,476 --> 01:30:54,706
- That's not fair to your wife.
- Dad...
1399
01:30:54,912 --> 01:30:57,847
...she gets it. Keeping
the business going is more important.
1400
01:30:58,049 --> 01:31:00,813
Guys, I'm sorry. You're gonna
have to leave. He needs his rest.
1401
01:31:01,018 --> 01:31:02,178
All right. Bye, Dad.
1402
01:31:03,487 --> 01:31:05,250
Bye, Daddy.
1403
01:31:16,701 --> 01:31:18,464
Get this off of me.
1404
01:31:23,007 --> 01:31:24,736
Whoa, whoa!
1405
01:31:24,942 --> 01:31:27,467
Hey, fella, you're a long way
from walking out of here.
1406
01:31:27,678 --> 01:31:29,145
I gotta see my son.
1407
01:31:29,347 --> 01:31:31,747
You're not going anywhere.
Now, get back into the bed.
1408
01:31:32,516 --> 01:31:34,575
- Isn't that Colin Farrell?
- Where?
1409
01:31:40,658 --> 01:31:42,023
Michael.
1410
01:31:42,226 --> 01:31:45,662
Those machines
are keeping you alive.
1411
01:31:45,863 --> 01:31:48,331
I gotta talk to my boy.
1412
01:31:55,272 --> 01:31:57,502
- Michael, stop.
- No.
1413
01:32:00,244 --> 01:32:03,236
Michael, it doesn't have to end now.
1414
01:32:11,889 --> 01:32:13,823
Ben!
1415
01:32:25,970 --> 01:32:27,164
Ben!
1416
01:32:35,913 --> 01:32:38,711
Ben!
1417
01:32:40,651 --> 01:32:44,052
Ben!
1418
01:32:46,590 --> 01:32:48,649
Dad? Dad?
1419
01:32:49,226 --> 01:32:51,217
Dad, what are you doing?
1420
01:32:51,429 --> 01:32:53,556
Are you okay?
1421
01:32:54,265 --> 01:32:57,826
- Oh, my God.
- Help! Help!
1422
01:32:58,035 --> 01:33:00,026
- Dad! Dad!
- Help!
1423
01:33:00,237 --> 01:33:01,795
Ben, Ben.
1424
01:33:05,876 --> 01:33:08,640
Family. Family. Family.
1425
01:33:08,846 --> 01:33:09,904
What?
1426
01:33:10,114 --> 01:33:14,483
Family. Family. Family comes first.
1427
01:33:15,052 --> 01:33:16,747
Family comes first.
1428
01:33:16,954 --> 01:33:19,081
Honeymoon. Honeymoon.
1429
01:33:19,557 --> 01:33:22,720
Honeymoon. I love you.
1430
01:33:24,528 --> 01:33:27,053
Samantha. Samantha.
1431
01:33:27,264 --> 01:33:31,564
I didn't make 200, but I love you.
1432
01:33:31,769 --> 01:33:33,600
I love you.
1433
01:33:34,338 --> 01:33:37,432
Bill, Bill, Bill.
1434
01:34:02,967 --> 01:34:04,958
I'm sorry.
1435
01:34:08,739 --> 01:34:10,206
Michael.
1436
01:34:10,407 --> 01:34:14,571
The note you wrote her,
it's in your pocket.
1437
01:34:28,993 --> 01:34:31,655
Forever and ever, babe.
1438
01:34:38,369 --> 01:34:39,836
It's time to go.
1439
01:35:14,872 --> 01:35:18,968
- Where am I?
- You're in Bed Bath & Beyond, sir.
1440
01:35:19,176 --> 01:35:20,666
I was just watching you sleep.
1441
01:35:20,878 --> 01:35:23,278
You looked like you were having
a crazy dream.
1442
01:35:23,480 --> 01:35:24,447
What?
1443
01:35:24,648 --> 01:35:28,311
You're not supposed to lay
in the beds, but I do sometimes.
1444
01:35:31,288 --> 01:35:33,483
I'm back in the store?
1445
01:35:37,027 --> 01:35:40,519
I'm young again. I'm young again.
1446
01:35:40,731 --> 01:35:42,699
Well, I mean,
you're not "young" young.
1447
01:35:42,900 --> 01:35:44,731
I'm young.
You're kind of on the back nine.
1448
01:35:44,935 --> 01:35:48,234
No, no. No. I'm just teeing off, baby.
1449
01:35:48,439 --> 01:35:49,872
Look at you.
1450
01:35:50,074 --> 01:35:53,737
You want a friend? You want a friend?
I'll be your friend, baby.
1451
01:35:53,944 --> 01:35:56,538
I'll be your friend. I'll be your-
1452
01:35:57,915 --> 01:36:00,281
Oh, my God!
1453
01:36:03,787 --> 01:36:06,312
Yes, my crappy car!
1454
01:36:06,523 --> 01:36:09,890
You mediocre, middle-class
piece of shit!
1455
01:36:10,094 --> 01:36:11,857
I love you!
1456
01:36:21,038 --> 01:36:24,906
Pop, Pop. Pop.
There he is. There he is.
1457
01:36:25,109 --> 01:36:27,304
- What's wrong? What happened?
- Nothing's wrong.
1458
01:36:27,511 --> 01:36:30,446
Everything's incredible, Ma.
I just wanted to tell you I love you.
1459
01:36:30,648 --> 01:36:32,172
- I love you.
- I love you so much.
1460
01:36:32,383 --> 01:36:35,682
You gotta tell me how you do
the quarter trick, it's driving me crazy.
1461
01:36:35,886 --> 01:36:37,615
A magician never reveals
his secrets.
1462
01:36:37,821 --> 01:36:40,289
However, if you invite us over
for dinner more-
1463
01:36:40,491 --> 01:36:43,949
You come over tomorrow night, and
the night after that. Any time you want.
1464
01:36:44,161 --> 01:36:47,153
- Stop, I'm gonna have a heart attack.
- No, I have the heart attacks.
1465
01:36:47,364 --> 01:36:50,197
Thank you so much for giving
birth to me, I know it hurt. Okay?
1466
01:36:50,401 --> 01:36:53,859
You have no idea. But, honey, please,
stay off the bong pipe.
1467
01:36:54,071 --> 01:36:56,232
I can't promise you that.
1468
01:36:57,875 --> 01:37:01,538
Okay. I'm up.
1469
01:37:01,745 --> 01:37:03,508
What do you think?
1470
01:37:04,715 --> 01:37:07,411
If you massage me first.
1471
01:37:07,618 --> 01:37:09,711
Okay, let's go to sleep.
1472
01:37:25,936 --> 01:37:29,997
Mom, wake up!
There's a crazy noise downstairs.
1473
01:37:33,944 --> 01:37:35,172
What the heck is going on?
1474
01:37:35,646 --> 01:37:37,944
Hey, do you mind?
I am trying to concentrate.
1475
01:37:38,148 --> 01:37:39,877
Here I am, staying up all night...
1476
01:37:40,084 --> 01:37:43,485
...trying to come up with activities
for our Fourth of July camping trip...
1477
01:37:43,687 --> 01:37:44,984
...but you won't let me think!
1478
01:37:45,189 --> 01:37:49,285
You want time to think? Why don't you
think about the fact that you just wo-
1479
01:37:52,029 --> 01:37:53,155
What did you just say?
1480
01:37:53,364 --> 01:37:56,197
Yes, you heard me.
If you keep up this weird attitude...
1481
01:37:56,400 --> 01:37:59,597
...I won't be able to work for a year
and have to plan 10 more vacations.
1482
01:37:59,803 --> 01:38:02,431
- That make you happy?
- Did you eat a bad Yodel?
1483
01:38:02,639 --> 01:38:03,663
Give me those big lips.
1484
01:38:05,943 --> 01:38:08,776
- What's going on down here?
- Ben. Ben!
1485
01:38:08,979 --> 01:38:10,344
Come here. Oh, my God.
1486
01:38:10,547 --> 01:38:12,981
I missed you, I missed you.
Look at you, boy.
1487
01:38:13,183 --> 01:38:16,243
I'm gonna finish the tree house.
We're gonna sleep in it next weekend.
1488
01:38:16,453 --> 01:38:19,422
From now on, we're gonna exercise
and I'm not gonna wear a Speedo.
1489
01:38:19,623 --> 01:38:20,647
- All right!
- All right.
1490
01:38:20,858 --> 01:38:24,191
And you. Nice jump! I love you.
1491
01:38:24,395 --> 01:38:27,125
One day, you are gonna be
the hottest chick alive.
1492
01:38:27,331 --> 01:38:28,730
But you still gotta have brains.
1493
01:38:28,932 --> 01:38:30,832
So tomorrow I'm gonna
teach you calculus.
1494
01:38:31,035 --> 01:38:32,229
You know calculus?
1495
01:38:32,436 --> 01:38:34,802
I knew you'd call me on that.
Your mom will teach you.
1496
01:38:35,005 --> 01:38:37,735
Now, get your rest, because tomorrow
we're going camping!
1497
01:38:37,941 --> 01:38:39,670
I know! It's gonna be the best!
1498
01:38:39,877 --> 01:38:42,505
- Put a sweater on! Don't take it off!
- Okay, Daddy.
1499
01:38:42,713 --> 01:38:44,237
Oh, and Sundance!
1500
01:38:44,448 --> 01:38:48,851
Doggie years go by very quick,
so it's time to enjoy the real thing.
1501
01:38:50,821 --> 01:38:53,085
Yeah, go get some, baby.
1502
01:39:08,138 --> 01:39:11,107
What are you doing?
What are you doing?
1503
01:39:12,443 --> 01:39:15,412
No. Go to Sundance, not the duck.
1504
01:39:20,884 --> 01:39:22,875
They told me at the pet store
it was a female.
1505
01:39:23,087 --> 01:39:24,452
They lied to me, I guess.
1506
01:39:26,723 --> 01:39:29,920
- You staying downstairs tonight?
- Why? That's getting you going?
1507
01:39:31,028 --> 01:39:35,021
It's Fourth of July,
I'm gonna celebrate with my wife.
1508
01:39:35,232 --> 01:39:39,726
Take my time, massage her,
make sure she is fully satisfied.
1509
01:39:39,937 --> 01:39:43,873
But you know, it isn't
the Fourth of July, it's only the second.
1510
01:39:44,074 --> 01:39:47,566
That's even better.
Happy second of July, honey.
1511
01:39:47,778 --> 01:39:49,575
- Think I like this holiday.
- Yeah?
1512
01:39:49,780 --> 01:39:52,248
I'm gonna go change
into my Pocahontas costume.
1513
01:39:52,449 --> 01:39:56,249
- I'll see you upstairs.
- I'll bring the duck.
1514
01:39:56,453 --> 01:40:00,253
Okay, I gotta call my dad
and tell him to get the old tent ready.
1515
01:40:22,279 --> 01:40:25,510
"Like I said,
'Good guys need a break. '
1516
01:40:26,283 --> 01:40:29,514
I know you'll do
the right thing this time.
1517
01:40:29,720 --> 01:40:32,188
Love, Morty.
1518
01:40:32,656 --> 01:40:34,021
P.S.:
1519
01:40:34,224 --> 01:40:37,955
Your wife's rocking body
still drives me crazy. "
1520
01:40:38,662 --> 01:40:40,789
Okay, Morty.
1521
01:41:03,954 --> 01:41:06,479
Hey, who wants
to have a pillow fight?