1 00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:12,074 Advertise your product or brand here contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today 2 00:00:55,361 --> 00:00:58,751 Hey, Stifler, how come Steve got all the talent in your family? 3 00:00:58,881 --> 00:01:02,236 Bite me, Fuck Face. Come on, man, you're missing it. 4 00:01:02,440 --> 00:01:05,591 I've seen it a million times, you fucking ass-booger. 5 00:01:05,680 --> 00:01:09,355 Steve is like a filmmaking genius. A true American hero. 6 00:01:09,440 --> 00:01:10,919 The Tarantino of titties. 7 00:01:11,000 --> 00:01:13,275 Yeah, there's just no way you could ever be this good. 8 00:01:13,360 --> 00:01:14,839 Hey, look, I'm going to prove to Steve... 9 00:01:14,919 --> 00:01:17,956 that I'm up to the standards of the Stiffmeister Productions. 10 00:01:18,480 --> 00:01:20,595 After Steve sees my directing talent... 11 00:01:20,679 --> 00:01:23,989 - little bro's joining the family business. - Is that what he said? 12 00:01:24,079 --> 00:01:28,072 - He finally called you back? - No, but I left him another message. 13 00:01:29,638 --> 00:01:32,790 He'll get back to me. It's only been three weeks. 14 00:01:33,959 --> 00:01:38,952 Gentle-fucks, a toast. Tomorrow, we begin our reign as seniors. 15 00:02:38,355 --> 00:02:40,629 Okay, people, let's take a break. 16 00:02:40,995 --> 00:02:45,146 Remember, we play this at the end of the ceremony after Pomp and Circumstance. 17 00:02:45,234 --> 00:02:47,385 I don't want anyone starting the wrong song again. 18 00:02:47,474 --> 00:02:50,307 - Elyse, you need to relax, girl. - I'm fine. 19 00:02:50,634 --> 00:02:53,432 I just... You know, it's my first time up here, and... 20 00:02:53,514 --> 00:02:56,107 Yeah, but it's graduation. It ain't the Boston Pops. 21 00:02:56,193 --> 00:02:59,266 This performance sets the tone for our senior year. I mean... 22 00:02:59,354 --> 00:03:03,869 Look, you just remember that everybody here is pulling for you. 23 00:03:07,753 --> 00:03:10,267 Dork. Dork. Dork. Goose. 24 00:03:11,193 --> 00:03:14,663 - I like them feisty. - What're you doing here, Stifler? 25 00:03:14,753 --> 00:03:17,267 We just want to say sayonara, and let you fuck-necks know... 26 00:03:17,353 --> 00:03:22,062 we plan on winning the state title, now that the Stiffmeister's running the show. 27 00:03:22,152 --> 00:03:25,986 - Adios, butt-hugger. - He's a bigger asshole than his brother. 28 00:03:29,432 --> 00:03:31,184 Holy shit, Arrianna. 29 00:03:32,032 --> 00:03:34,181 Matt, what're you doing here? 30 00:03:34,312 --> 00:03:38,385 Oh, we just want to make sure the seniors have a very memorable last day. 31 00:03:38,472 --> 00:03:41,304 That's cool. So, there's a campout tonight... 32 00:03:41,391 --> 00:03:44,349 and it's only for the grads, but you could come. 33 00:03:44,431 --> 00:03:46,991 Let me check my schedule. Hell, yeah. 34 00:03:48,231 --> 00:03:51,906 Bring your sleeping bag, in case we decide to pitch a tent. 35 00:03:56,631 --> 00:04:00,384 Check it out. Perfect timing. This is going to be classic. 36 00:04:00,950 --> 00:04:04,181 Time to initiate Operation Gradu-fuck-uation. 37 00:04:06,789 --> 00:04:08,621 This is gonna be awesome. 38 00:04:08,710 --> 00:04:10,461 - Shit. - Oh, yeah! Jackpot! 39 00:04:10,789 --> 00:04:14,498 Payback, seniors. Don't get that pepper spray on your hands. 40 00:04:17,429 --> 00:04:20,227 A graduation gift from the Stiffmeister. 41 00:04:23,629 --> 00:04:26,063 Dude, we should've sprayed the diplomas. 42 00:04:28,309 --> 00:04:29,787 Sorry, bandees. 43 00:04:34,748 --> 00:04:38,342 Bite my nuts and call me Skippy. It's a Steely Dan. 44 00:04:38,588 --> 00:04:41,705 - A what? - It's a double-headed dildo. 45 00:04:42,388 --> 00:04:43,821 It's a dildo. It's a dildo. 46 00:04:44,427 --> 00:04:46,578 - Holy shit. - It's even got a name. 47 00:04:48,227 --> 00:04:49,217 Picardo? 48 00:04:49,587 --> 00:04:52,579 - Spray that shit. - Fuck, no. Finders keepers. 49 00:04:52,828 --> 00:04:56,103 Okay, everybody, Pomp and Circumstance. Five-minute warning. Let's go. 50 00:04:56,187 --> 00:04:58,417 The bandees. Let's get out of here. 51 00:05:02,387 --> 00:05:04,342 - Matt? - Leesy. 52 00:05:05,826 --> 00:05:08,660 How they hanging? Still small and perky, I see. 53 00:05:08,747 --> 00:05:11,055 - That's funny. - Yeah. 54 00:05:12,066 --> 00:05:15,900 - What're you doing here, Matt? - I just came by to wish you good luck. 55 00:05:15,986 --> 00:05:18,420 - You know, on the whole music thing. - Good luck? 56 00:05:18,505 --> 00:05:21,178 You haven't said a word to me since the eighth grade. 57 00:05:21,265 --> 00:05:24,178 Yeah, and that tone of voice is exactly the reason why. 58 00:05:24,266 --> 00:05:26,540 So, I'm going to take off now. 59 00:05:30,305 --> 00:05:34,456 Ladies and gentlemen, please rise to honor our graduates. 60 00:05:34,544 --> 00:05:36,137 Douchebag's gonna miss it. 61 00:05:48,384 --> 00:05:49,658 Oh, yes. 62 00:05:52,863 --> 00:05:54,456 Are they crying? 63 00:05:57,064 --> 00:05:58,417 Holy shit! 64 00:06:04,903 --> 00:06:06,052 Yes! 65 00:06:26,662 --> 00:06:28,334 Eat shit, seniors. 66 00:06:47,660 --> 00:06:48,649 Uh oh! 67 00:06:48,980 --> 00:06:51,175 Stifler! 68 00:06:53,740 --> 00:06:57,255 I've been waiting for this moment for a very long time. 69 00:06:58,460 --> 00:07:01,133 And now, the day of reckoning has come. 70 00:07:04,260 --> 00:07:05,738 Hello, Matthew. 71 00:07:06,260 --> 00:07:08,534 Your brother must be very proud. 72 00:07:11,099 --> 00:07:13,249 You've continued his legacy. 73 00:07:14,219 --> 00:07:16,289 Tormenting the innocent... 74 00:07:16,899 --> 00:07:19,857 defiling all that is good and pure. 75 00:07:23,138 --> 00:07:25,732 But now, you're going down. 76 00:07:26,778 --> 00:07:29,851 What're you going to do, expel me, Shermanator? 77 00:07:31,179 --> 00:07:34,011 I am a sophisticated counseling machine... 78 00:07:34,098 --> 00:07:37,693 sent back in time to guide young and innocent minds. 79 00:07:38,058 --> 00:07:42,848 My primary directive is to protect the students of this institution... 80 00:07:43,697 --> 00:07:46,450 and all, indeed all mankind... 81 00:07:47,177 --> 00:07:49,975 from the menace that is another Stifler. 82 00:07:50,177 --> 00:07:52,645 Behavior modification is required. 83 00:07:52,977 --> 00:07:55,695 It's not too late to change your future. 84 00:07:58,336 --> 00:08:02,124 No, expulsion would be too easy. 85 00:08:05,217 --> 00:08:08,333 I know the perfect punishment to fit your crime. 86 00:08:10,736 --> 00:08:13,728 Since you have so much trouble with the band... 87 00:08:13,895 --> 00:08:16,489 perhaps you should make friends with them. 88 00:08:16,575 --> 00:08:18,168 No fucking way. 89 00:08:19,936 --> 00:08:24,372 Either you learn to be more considerate or you will be expelled. 90 00:08:25,175 --> 00:08:26,608 No football. 91 00:08:27,535 --> 00:08:28,684 No parties. 92 00:08:28,775 --> 00:08:30,527 No spring break. 93 00:08:31,255 --> 00:08:33,722 No graduation. 94 00:08:34,055 --> 00:08:35,613 No college. 95 00:08:35,695 --> 00:08:37,332 No coeds. 96 00:08:38,175 --> 00:08:39,527 Comprende? 97 00:08:44,054 --> 00:08:46,010 Pack your bags, Stifler. 98 00:08:46,534 --> 00:08:49,207 - You're going to Band Camp. - Band Camp! 99 00:08:55,653 --> 00:08:57,883 Bullshit, trash. 100 00:09:02,373 --> 00:09:03,806 All right, Steve! Valley Girls Gone Wild. 101 00:09:05,453 --> 00:09:06,487 Fuck. 102 00:09:24,452 --> 00:09:25,680 Told you Steve'd get back to me. 103 00:09:25,771 --> 00:09:27,090 I mean, it was just a postcard... 104 00:09:27,171 --> 00:09:29,288 but it gave me a great idea. 105 00:09:29,372 --> 00:09:30,441 Look... 106 00:09:30,532 --> 00:09:32,567 Steve's shit-head friend, Jim... 107 00:09:32,651 --> 00:09:35,006 he married this freaking nympho band-geek, Michelle. 108 00:09:35,091 --> 00:09:37,889 And he said all they do at Band Camp is screw 24/7. 109 00:09:37,971 --> 00:09:41,930 Matt, buddy, you cannot screw band chicks. There are standards. 110 00:09:43,251 --> 00:09:46,526 I'm not talking about screwing them, scrotum-breath. 111 00:09:46,650 --> 00:09:49,084 I'm talking about videotaping them. 112 00:09:49,170 --> 00:09:52,560 People love to see dorks doing that freaky shit on hidden video. 113 00:09:52,650 --> 00:09:56,325 Bandeez Gone Wild. Steve's gonna have some competition now... 114 00:09:56,490 --> 00:09:58,958 because little bro's joining the family business. 115 00:10:04,009 --> 00:10:05,568 Yeah, Spy Chest. 116 00:10:06,249 --> 00:10:07,682 Secret Video. 117 00:10:09,450 --> 00:10:10,438 Hell, yeah. 118 00:10:13,969 --> 00:10:15,243 Color night vision? I'll take it. Shit. 119 00:10:23,168 --> 00:10:24,806 How about tomorrow? This is going be great. 120 00:11:05,166 --> 00:11:07,999 Welcome to Tall Oaks 2005. 121 00:11:09,166 --> 00:11:11,838 Let's hear it from Lloyd Memorial High. 122 00:11:11,925 --> 00:11:14,234 L- L-O-Y-D! 123 00:11:14,966 --> 00:11:16,445 L- L-O-Y-D! 124 00:11:17,646 --> 00:11:19,317 - Mount St. Marie. - Mount St. Marie! 125 00:11:19,485 --> 00:11:20,804 Mount St. Marie! 126 00:11:20,885 --> 00:11:22,443 East Great Falls High. 127 00:11:23,045 --> 00:11:24,444 East Great Falls! 128 00:11:24,965 --> 00:11:26,397 East Great Falls! 129 00:11:27,245 --> 00:11:30,395 And five-time defending Tall Oaks Cup Champion... 130 00:11:30,685 --> 00:11:32,403 Beechwood Academy. 131 00:11:32,484 --> 00:11:35,123 We're Number One! We're Number One! We're Number One! 132 00:11:35,204 --> 00:11:36,353 Okay, settle down. 133 00:11:37,205 --> 00:11:39,399 Now, as you know, each year... 134 00:11:39,484 --> 00:11:42,396 one senior Tall Oaks composer is awarded... 135 00:11:42,484 --> 00:11:46,796 a full scholarship to the prestigious Robards Conservatory. 136 00:11:46,884 --> 00:11:48,954 Elyse, this is your year to win. 137 00:11:49,044 --> 00:11:52,115 This year, Dr. Susan Choi, president of Robards... 138 00:11:52,203 --> 00:11:55,001 will judge the compositions herself. 139 00:11:55,083 --> 00:11:59,395 And let's not forget to welcome the Tall Oaks Camp Counselors. 140 00:12:06,403 --> 00:12:10,475 If you visit our infirmary, Nurse Sanders will take care of your every need. 141 00:12:13,042 --> 00:12:17,433 Okay, so let's work hard, and may the best band win. 142 00:12:25,081 --> 00:12:26,150 You guys ready? 143 00:12:44,121 --> 00:12:45,633 What the fuck? 144 00:12:45,920 --> 00:12:48,275 Are you a rookie? You look lost. 145 00:12:48,640 --> 00:12:52,235 Are you an asshole? You're hairy, and you smell like shit. 146 00:12:53,840 --> 00:12:56,832 I'll ignore that kind of talk once. 147 00:12:57,919 --> 00:12:59,990 We don't speak that way here. 148 00:13:00,080 --> 00:13:04,357 Rookies are to wear their beanies at all times. Those are the rules. 149 00:13:04,439 --> 00:13:07,112 And who made you the mayor of Geek Town? 150 00:13:07,919 --> 00:13:11,878 I'm Brandon Vandecamp, senior drum major, Beechwood Academy... 151 00:13:11,959 --> 00:13:13,630 and the president of the Tall Oaks Council. 152 00:13:13,718 --> 00:13:17,552 Oh, and who are they, Mr. President? The First Lady and Vice Pussy? 153 00:13:23,438 --> 00:13:24,757 Suits you well. 154 00:13:24,878 --> 00:13:29,428 Golly, jeepers, thanks. Hey, you know, since I'm an official band geek and all... 155 00:13:29,517 --> 00:13:31,668 can you guess what my favorite piece of music is? 156 00:13:31,758 --> 00:13:34,113 - I have no idea. - The Nutcracker. 157 00:13:36,438 --> 00:13:37,473 Step back, bitch. 158 00:13:37,558 --> 00:13:39,832 Holy mother of Mozart. 159 00:13:41,677 --> 00:13:42,746 This is bad. 160 00:13:42,837 --> 00:13:45,397 You didn't know Jackie Chan was in the house, did you boys, huh? 161 00:13:45,477 --> 00:13:47,388 Stop that. Stop that now. 162 00:13:47,477 --> 00:13:49,707 Those knob-slobbers started it. 163 00:13:49,797 --> 00:13:52,311 That's not true, sir. We simply reminded him to wear his beanie. 164 00:13:52,397 --> 00:13:54,672 And then he viciously assaulted Brandon's genitals. 165 00:13:54,757 --> 00:13:59,034 - That's a lie, you dick-snot. - Oscar, Jimmy, escort this man to see... 166 00:13:59,276 --> 00:14:01,506 - the Macro. - The what? 167 00:14:01,956 --> 00:14:04,106 - You're dead. - Now, gentlemen. 168 00:14:04,916 --> 00:14:06,986 God, Brandon, are you okay? 169 00:14:07,996 --> 00:14:10,430 You want to tell me what the hell you're doing here, Stifler? 170 00:14:10,516 --> 00:14:12,950 It don't matter, Big O. He ain't gonna be here long. 171 00:14:13,036 --> 00:14:14,105 - Bitch! - Get over here. 172 00:14:14,196 --> 00:14:16,311 Macro gonna fuck your ass up, fool. 173 00:14:16,395 --> 00:14:18,863 - What the fuck's a macro? - The Macro. 174 00:14:18,955 --> 00:14:21,071 Morale And Conflict Resolution Officer. 175 00:14:21,155 --> 00:14:23,430 I heard this one time, this kid went into that office... 176 00:14:23,515 --> 00:14:25,187 a baritone and came out a soprano. 177 00:14:25,275 --> 00:14:28,107 - Clarinet up the ass backwards, yo. - What? 178 00:14:35,354 --> 00:14:36,628 Pussies. 179 00:14:49,953 --> 00:14:51,272 Oh, I'm sorry. 180 00:14:53,354 --> 00:14:55,423 Frankenstein. Scary stuff. 181 00:14:56,633 --> 00:14:58,942 I am just a Boris Karloff nut. 182 00:14:59,233 --> 00:15:03,145 - I'm the Macro, Mr. Levenstein. - Holy shit, you're Jim's dad. 183 00:15:03,712 --> 00:15:06,546 He screwed that redheaded nympho chick at my lake house. 184 00:15:06,633 --> 00:15:10,181 - Oh, my, you're not a Stifler? - Yeah, I'm Steve's brother, Matt. 185 00:15:11,552 --> 00:15:15,022 - There are two Stiflers? - Yes, sir. Hey, what're you doing here? 186 00:15:15,112 --> 00:15:18,946 Oh, well, Jim is now out of the house, married to Michelle... 187 00:15:19,031 --> 00:15:22,069 that redheaded nympho chick that you spoke of. 188 00:15:23,271 --> 00:15:26,105 And, being a former Tall Oaks Counselor of the Year... 189 00:15:26,192 --> 00:15:31,106 she was hired to be the Macro this summer, but she got pregnant. 190 00:15:31,431 --> 00:15:34,741 No doubt due to the tendencies you alluded to earlier. 191 00:15:34,830 --> 00:15:37,743 And I have a great rapport with young people... 192 00:15:37,831 --> 00:15:40,139 so I just stepped in and volunteered. 193 00:15:40,230 --> 00:15:43,620 That cretin is not in our band, and we are not responsible for his actions. 194 00:15:43,710 --> 00:15:46,349 - Who pissed in your piccolo? - I'm sensing some hostility here. 195 00:15:46,430 --> 00:15:47,704 - He poisoned my band. - What? 196 00:15:47,790 --> 00:15:50,667 - I'm the Macro and it's my job to deal with... - What is he doing here? 197 00:15:50,749 --> 00:15:54,026 - Matt Stifler is pure evil just like his brother. ... conflict. 198 00:15:54,110 --> 00:15:55,542 Thanks, Leesy. 199 00:16:00,150 --> 00:16:01,662 She seems nice. 200 00:16:02,589 --> 00:16:03,989 There are rules, of course. 201 00:16:04,069 --> 00:16:05,707 - You will have to wear a beanie. - Yeah. 202 00:16:05,789 --> 00:16:09,064 Oh, I know. It's a little silly, but it's tradition here... 203 00:16:09,149 --> 00:16:12,618 something you're familiar with, being on the football team, I'm sure... 204 00:16:12,708 --> 00:16:16,099 with your elephant walks and circle jerks and drinking butt beer. 205 00:16:16,189 --> 00:16:18,419 But here, you just have to wear a silly little hat and... 206 00:16:18,509 --> 00:16:20,943 - a somewhat stylish Tall Oaks T-shirt. - Yeah. 207 00:16:21,548 --> 00:16:23,504 So, just go with the flow, Matt... 208 00:16:23,588 --> 00:16:25,897 and you will have loads of fun... 209 00:16:26,268 --> 00:16:29,180 and you'll be making new friends in no time. 210 00:16:35,907 --> 00:16:38,660 Hey, Ernie Kaplowitz, tenor sax. 211 00:16:39,907 --> 00:16:42,421 Cool! I'm a rookie here, too. 212 00:16:42,667 --> 00:16:46,421 I really wanted to come last year, but Computer Camp conflicted, and... 213 00:16:46,587 --> 00:16:50,545 Oh, yeah, that was here when I arrived. I think it has your name on it. 214 00:16:52,587 --> 00:16:53,940 What is it? 215 00:16:55,626 --> 00:16:59,141 Hi, welcome to Casa de Stifler. I'll be your host, Matt. 216 00:16:59,306 --> 00:17:02,695 Every day here, I'll make it my sincere goal not to have to kick your ass. 217 00:17:02,786 --> 00:17:05,505 Allow me to show you to your new accommodations. 218 00:17:06,505 --> 00:17:09,019 When I'm out here, you're in there. 219 00:17:10,185 --> 00:17:12,142 Have a great day, fucko. 220 00:17:12,425 --> 00:17:13,574 I don't... 221 00:17:16,865 --> 00:17:17,980 Okay... 222 00:17:18,065 --> 00:17:19,656 I'll just go and put this stuff away for you. 223 00:17:19,744 --> 00:17:20,938 All right. Bandee-vision. 224 00:17:23,624 --> 00:17:27,698 This is a 1978 Ohio State show... 225 00:17:27,785 --> 00:17:29,104 The Wizard Of Oz. 226 00:17:29,185 --> 00:17:32,779 The one where the sousaphone player forgot to dot the I? Oh, hey. 227 00:17:34,704 --> 00:17:37,298 Yeah, right. Freaks. 228 00:17:39,223 --> 00:17:41,578 Never fear, the Stiffmeister's here. 229 00:17:41,663 --> 00:17:44,701 Band Camp just got a whole lot better, ladies. 230 00:17:44,824 --> 00:17:47,292 You're Steve Stifler's younger brother, aren't you? 231 00:17:47,384 --> 00:17:49,135 - Young and hung. - Great. 232 00:17:49,263 --> 00:17:52,459 - Could you send him a message for me? - No problem, senorita. 233 00:17:59,343 --> 00:18:03,574 Well, it looks like Steve gave someone the old Stifler bang-and-boot. 234 00:18:04,622 --> 00:18:07,773 - Is there a problem here? - No, everything's fine. 235 00:18:09,742 --> 00:18:12,859 - Have fun at Band Camp. - Thank you, I will. 236 00:18:16,702 --> 00:18:18,932 - Later. - Word. 237 00:18:19,421 --> 00:18:22,094 You need to start showing some respect around here, Stifler. 238 00:18:22,181 --> 00:18:25,457 You need to show yourself back to your table, Big Dog. 239 00:18:25,541 --> 00:18:27,293 Out of my way, Yo. 240 00:18:28,621 --> 00:18:32,500 Hola, chicas. Elyse, so good to see you again. 241 00:18:32,820 --> 00:18:35,813 So, what's going on tonight? We gonna party, get a little crazy? 242 00:18:35,901 --> 00:18:38,369 Who wants to rack up a few frequent fucker miles? 243 00:18:38,461 --> 00:18:41,418 - You know, you are the most... - Most sexy man ever to come to Band Camp. 244 00:18:41,500 --> 00:18:45,379 - What? Chloe, he is so obnoxious. - Sexy obnoxious. 245 00:18:45,460 --> 00:18:48,418 - Thank you. - I'm tired of messing around with these... 246 00:18:48,499 --> 00:18:50,331 dorky-ass nice guys... 247 00:18:50,460 --> 00:18:52,609 and sensitive-artist types. 248 00:18:52,980 --> 00:18:57,336 - Let's party with a real hombre tonight. - Hell, yeah. That's me: 249 00:18:57,859 --> 00:19:01,693 - 100% hombre. - All right, my room, 8:00. 250 00:19:02,819 --> 00:19:06,334 Great first day, campers. This is your Macro speaking... 251 00:19:06,419 --> 00:19:09,809 and, hey, morale couldn't have been higher today. 252 00:19:09,899 --> 00:19:12,538 So hop in the sack, and get a good night's sleep because... 253 00:19:13,899 --> 00:19:16,696 starting tomorrow, we have many, many exciting activities planned... 254 00:19:16,778 --> 00:19:20,373 not the least of which is the race for the Tall Oaks Cup. 255 00:19:20,538 --> 00:19:22,494 So let the games begin. 256 00:19:22,778 --> 00:19:26,565 Bandeez Gone Wild. Scene One. Party hombre. 257 00:19:31,257 --> 00:19:35,409 It's called Strip Trivia. We made it up. It's a Band Camp tradition. 258 00:19:35,737 --> 00:19:39,855 "Fourth and Long," "Sextuplets," "Banging Babes," and "Who Blew Me?" 259 00:19:39,977 --> 00:19:43,014 This looks like my kind of game. Shall we play? 260 00:19:43,977 --> 00:19:46,855 You sit in the middle. Your game, my seating chart. 261 00:19:46,976 --> 00:19:48,455 Sit a little closer, ladies. 262 00:19:48,536 --> 00:19:50,766 Don't be scared. It's all right. 263 00:19:50,856 --> 00:19:51,971 Okay... 264 00:19:52,256 --> 00:19:55,134 the rules are simple. You choose a category and a question... 265 00:19:55,216 --> 00:19:57,571 and every time you miss, you strip. 266 00:19:57,656 --> 00:19:58,691 Hell, yeah. 267 00:19:58,776 --> 00:20:02,291 - I'll go first. "Who Blew Me?" - Good. 268 00:20:05,455 --> 00:20:09,733 I am a silver Stradivarius trumpet played by a Pulitzer Prize winner. 269 00:20:10,735 --> 00:20:12,009 Who blew me? 270 00:20:12,175 --> 00:20:14,564 - Yeah, like I'd know. - Sorry. 271 00:20:14,775 --> 00:20:16,173 Lose the shoes, and pick again. 272 00:20:16,254 --> 00:20:18,132 You didn't tell me this shit was about music. 273 00:20:18,215 --> 00:20:21,685 - Well, it is Band Camp, moron. - Hey, to be fair... 274 00:20:21,975 --> 00:20:24,886 maybe we should just give him a head start. 275 00:20:28,295 --> 00:20:29,932 All right. Yeah. 276 00:20:31,094 --> 00:20:32,766 Okay, all right. All right. 277 00:20:34,294 --> 00:20:37,091 What's wrong with you? Scared to show off the mosquito bites? 278 00:20:37,173 --> 00:20:39,812 I've matured since the fourth grade, Matt. Have you? 279 00:20:39,893 --> 00:20:42,806 Oh, I've got 10 pounds of dangling maturity right here, Leesy. 280 00:20:42,894 --> 00:20:45,726 - Quit calling me that. - Okay, okay, moving on. 281 00:20:46,413 --> 00:20:50,486 - Matt, just pick another question, please. - All right, screw it. Whatever. 282 00:20:51,093 --> 00:20:53,209 There you go. Suck on that. 283 00:20:54,733 --> 00:20:57,327 - Fourth and Long. - Sure, no problem. 284 00:21:00,492 --> 00:21:04,805 Of Beethoven's major symphonies, which has the longest fourth movement? 285 00:21:05,692 --> 00:21:07,489 All right, I see where this is going. 286 00:21:07,572 --> 00:21:10,166 Fine, you win. 287 00:21:14,452 --> 00:21:15,646 I free ball, ladies. 288 00:21:16,291 --> 00:21:20,330 Got to let the big boys breathe. All right, we play by my rules now. 289 00:21:20,771 --> 00:21:23,569 Football questions only. Prepare to strip, ladies. 290 00:21:24,291 --> 00:21:27,761 - Wait. But first, does anybody want a beer? - I do. 291 00:21:28,210 --> 00:21:32,965 The counselors have a secret stash in the fridge across the hall. 292 00:21:33,130 --> 00:21:36,839 - Would you mind? - Now we're talking about a fucking party. 293 00:21:36,930 --> 00:21:38,648 Stiffy'll be back in a jiffy. 294 00:21:40,850 --> 00:21:43,318 I mean, there's nobody around... 295 00:21:43,410 --> 00:21:45,719 and we haven't seen your best side yet. 296 00:21:52,090 --> 00:21:54,205 Yes! We got him. 297 00:21:56,209 --> 00:21:57,961 So busted. 298 00:22:05,409 --> 00:22:07,843 Man, big boys, wake up. 299 00:22:07,929 --> 00:22:10,318 Just gotta turn down the A.C. In there, huh? 300 00:22:10,409 --> 00:22:11,524 Good night, girls. 301 00:22:18,608 --> 00:22:21,122 Sorry, asshole, game's over. 302 00:22:21,328 --> 00:22:25,559 Yeah, the big boys will love the long walk home. 303 00:22:26,408 --> 00:22:28,125 Room check, girls. 304 00:22:29,527 --> 00:22:30,596 Oh, shit. 305 00:22:30,927 --> 00:22:33,077 - Ditch his clothes. - Out the window. 306 00:22:33,807 --> 00:22:36,162 All right, who wants a long neck? 307 00:22:42,766 --> 00:22:44,439 Nurse Sanders. 308 00:22:47,127 --> 00:22:49,516 - They set me up. - He attacked us with pepper spray... 309 00:22:49,607 --> 00:22:52,200 - and ruined our graduation. - I went there for a friendly game... 310 00:22:52,286 --> 00:22:53,320 Hold it. Hold it. Kids. 311 00:22:53,406 --> 00:22:55,362 Okay... 312 00:22:55,606 --> 00:22:57,277 where are your clothes? 313 00:22:59,845 --> 00:23:01,245 I have them. 314 00:23:01,845 --> 00:23:03,756 - May I ask why? - Well, they got me naked... 315 00:23:03,845 --> 00:23:06,962 - Oh, whatever. He took his own pants off... - And they stole my clothes. 316 00:23:07,045 --> 00:23:09,684 And I got stuck up there with Mrs. Doubtfire checking out my... 317 00:23:15,604 --> 00:23:17,482 Let me see if I have this straight. 318 00:23:17,644 --> 00:23:22,115 Elyse, you think Matt is an arrogant jock who wears his penis on his forehead... 319 00:23:22,205 --> 00:23:25,480 just to gain the approval of his sociopathic brother. 320 00:23:25,564 --> 00:23:29,318 And Matt, you think Elyse is an uptight, geeky prude... 321 00:23:29,404 --> 00:23:32,043 who needs to loosen up and get laid. 322 00:23:32,124 --> 00:23:35,195 Excuse the expression, dear. Is that close to being on the money? 323 00:23:36,884 --> 00:23:37,999 Look, kids... 324 00:23:39,404 --> 00:23:41,872 the only way to solve your differences... 325 00:23:42,523 --> 00:23:44,115 is by working together. 326 00:23:45,243 --> 00:23:46,960 So why don't you start tomorrow... 327 00:23:47,363 --> 00:23:50,321 by putting one foot in front of the other? 328 00:23:53,843 --> 00:23:55,560 Left flank hut. 329 00:23:57,922 --> 00:23:59,355 Turn and hut. 330 00:24:06,722 --> 00:24:07,915 What the fuck! 331 00:24:09,402 --> 00:24:11,154 Band 10 hut! 332 00:24:11,401 --> 00:24:12,391 Holy shit. 333 00:24:12,921 --> 00:24:16,311 When I yell "band 10 hut," you snap firmly at attention. 334 00:24:16,401 --> 00:24:19,950 - You want to see me firmly at attention? - I already have. I wasn't impressed. 335 00:24:22,761 --> 00:24:23,910 Look... 336 00:24:24,760 --> 00:24:26,638 we've never beaten Beechwood, okay? 337 00:24:27,520 --> 00:24:29,352 For some of us, it's our last shot. 338 00:24:32,040 --> 00:24:33,553 Just stop screwing up, okay? 339 00:24:33,640 --> 00:24:34,993 Yeah, asshole. 340 00:24:37,480 --> 00:24:39,630 Okay, people, back to work, let's go. Whatever. 341 00:24:39,720 --> 00:24:41,039 I don't need this shit. 342 00:24:41,120 --> 00:24:43,475 Reset the block. Front ranks, right here. 343 00:24:56,879 --> 00:24:58,153 Housekeeping. 344 00:25:24,477 --> 00:25:26,786 Oscar, brought me something to drink? 345 00:25:27,077 --> 00:25:29,955 - Come on. - Good looking out, baby. 346 00:25:32,437 --> 00:25:34,108 Hey, it's Ernie Crapowitz. 347 00:25:34,196 --> 00:25:37,189 So you finally came out of the closet. Good for you. 348 00:25:38,517 --> 00:25:40,951 Look, I want to know what goes on at night, all right? 349 00:25:41,037 --> 00:25:43,551 All the crazy shit. Naked pillow fights, whatever. 350 00:25:43,637 --> 00:25:46,992 Do I look like the guy that's in charge of the naked pillow fights, huh? 351 00:25:47,076 --> 00:25:48,555 It's my first time here. 352 00:25:48,636 --> 00:25:49,785 Notice the beanie? 353 00:25:49,876 --> 00:25:50,945 Yes. 354 00:25:51,876 --> 00:25:53,275 Yes, I do. 355 00:25:53,356 --> 00:25:56,587 Yes, speaking of beanies, where's yours, Stifler? 356 00:25:56,916 --> 00:25:58,792 You still not following the rules, huh? 357 00:25:58,875 --> 00:26:00,707 - Let's see. - Look. He's getting in trouble again. 358 00:26:00,796 --> 00:26:04,071 No standard-issue Tall Oaks T-shirt and no beanie. 359 00:26:04,155 --> 00:26:07,352 I believe that's two points from Great Falls, Mr. Nelson. 360 00:26:07,595 --> 00:26:09,391 Tell you what, Vande-cramp... 361 00:26:09,715 --> 00:26:12,388 what if I took his beanie... 362 00:26:12,475 --> 00:26:15,114 and put it on my weenie? 363 00:26:15,195 --> 00:26:19,108 How do you like that Vande-cramp? It's on my head, right? 364 00:26:19,274 --> 00:26:21,425 Make it five points from Great Falls. 365 00:26:21,594 --> 00:26:22,822 Five points. 366 00:26:22,914 --> 00:26:25,951 Man, this place sucks donkey ass. 367 00:26:30,834 --> 00:26:32,506 Put your beanie on, Son. 368 00:26:38,113 --> 00:26:39,990 Five points. 369 00:27:02,392 --> 00:27:04,587 Stay still. Stop moving. 370 00:27:04,672 --> 00:27:06,344 He ain't going nowhere now. 371 00:27:06,432 --> 00:27:09,628 This isn't your world. This is our world, and we don't want you in it. 372 00:27:09,711 --> 00:27:11,861 You already cost us five points in the standings. 373 00:27:11,951 --> 00:27:13,669 We can't have that. 374 00:27:13,912 --> 00:27:15,549 Set the man up with his beanie. 375 00:27:22,991 --> 00:27:24,822 Now you're representing, fool. 376 00:27:24,910 --> 00:27:26,138 And this toothpaste... 377 00:27:26,230 --> 00:27:28,824 this will make up for the pepper spray, asshole. 378 00:27:42,149 --> 00:27:43,628 Oh, shit. 379 00:27:44,310 --> 00:27:46,619 I'll get the paint thinner from maintenance. 380 00:27:48,149 --> 00:27:49,468 Animals. 381 00:27:59,508 --> 00:28:03,468 Matt, you were sent here... 382 00:28:03,868 --> 00:28:05,267 to make a change. 383 00:28:05,428 --> 00:28:09,023 And, so far, you've only had your sinuses sanitized. So... 384 00:28:09,388 --> 00:28:11,697 I think it's time to try a new approach. 385 00:28:12,148 --> 00:28:13,865 Make some friends. 386 00:28:15,548 --> 00:28:17,299 Earn their trust. 387 00:28:19,468 --> 00:28:21,662 Why would I want to earn their trust? 388 00:28:24,787 --> 00:28:26,266 Good. 389 00:28:30,227 --> 00:28:32,217 Welcome to Stifler-vision. 390 00:28:32,307 --> 00:28:34,695 I think there's a cymbal class at 1:00. 391 00:28:34,867 --> 00:28:36,015 I hate that. 392 00:28:36,106 --> 00:28:38,222 Yeah, but it's better than the bass drum relay. 393 00:28:38,306 --> 00:28:39,500 Yeah, that's true. 394 00:28:43,866 --> 00:28:45,982 Yours look totally fantastic. 395 00:28:46,066 --> 00:28:49,182 Two for the price of one. My left one's bigger, see? 396 00:28:49,266 --> 00:28:52,064 Yeah, mine, too, baby. They can totally fix that. 397 00:28:52,146 --> 00:28:53,817 No! Want to see? 398 00:28:53,905 --> 00:28:56,373 I used to be... Lens fog. No! 399 00:29:07,224 --> 00:29:10,933 What is that thing, butt weasel? Yeah, it's the KR3, baby. 400 00:29:11,024 --> 00:29:14,539 The Kaplowitz Remote Robotic Rover. And you are so busted. 401 00:29:14,624 --> 00:29:18,061 - Hey, Oscar, somebody call the Macro. - Dude, please, shut up. 402 00:29:18,145 --> 00:29:21,739 Pull your panties out of your ass. I can help you with that chick. 403 00:29:25,384 --> 00:29:26,419 What chick? 404 00:29:26,504 --> 00:29:28,893 Dude, the one with all the tattoos. The Tubanator. 405 00:29:28,984 --> 00:29:30,382 Her name is Chloe. 406 00:29:30,983 --> 00:29:34,214 Come on, man. I can help. I'm the Stiffmeister. 407 00:29:34,303 --> 00:29:36,976 - Master of love and romance. - Bullshit. 408 00:29:37,143 --> 00:29:41,420 I nailed three cheerleaders in one week on spring break. College cheerleaders. 409 00:29:51,502 --> 00:29:53,891 And I know why your camera spritzed out. 410 00:29:56,502 --> 00:29:58,378 Dude, this thing is awesome. 411 00:29:58,942 --> 00:30:01,900 - You ever use this to look up chicks' skirts? - No. 412 00:30:01,982 --> 00:30:04,257 But I did use it to win the State Science Fair last year. 413 00:30:04,342 --> 00:30:06,537 And I'm hoping it gets me into MIT next fall. 414 00:30:06,622 --> 00:30:08,577 I really want to work for NASA. 415 00:30:08,781 --> 00:30:11,170 National Anal Sex Association? 416 00:30:11,381 --> 00:30:13,053 No it's Space... 417 00:30:13,821 --> 00:30:18,292 - There's an Anal Sex Association? - Oh, yeah, but you've got to be a pro. 418 00:30:19,821 --> 00:30:21,890 Wait, there's a Space Association? 419 00:30:23,380 --> 00:30:25,257 You were supposed to use this. 420 00:30:26,500 --> 00:30:30,539 - See, it's got an anti-fog lens. Duh. - Yeah, good. 421 00:30:31,580 --> 00:30:36,255 - Can the robot record? - All right, so, what are your intentions? 422 00:30:37,659 --> 00:30:40,048 With the video, I mean. What are you doing? 423 00:30:40,139 --> 00:30:41,618 Oh, it's just for fun. 424 00:30:41,900 --> 00:30:45,209 I mean, who doesn't like to look at hot naked chicks, right? 425 00:30:46,619 --> 00:30:49,087 Keep it between us, and I'll let you watch. 426 00:30:49,379 --> 00:30:52,849 Plus, I'll have you giving Chloe the pelvic noogie inside a week. 427 00:30:54,059 --> 00:30:55,969 Hey, Stifler. Phone. 428 00:30:56,139 --> 00:30:57,891 We're in Detroit! 429 00:30:58,498 --> 00:31:01,092 Locked into sweet Brazilian rum. 430 00:31:01,178 --> 00:31:03,817 I'm fucking fubar, man! 431 00:31:03,898 --> 00:31:08,050 I sent you rum today. Could come in handy in Dorksville. 432 00:31:08,138 --> 00:31:09,730 This place blows. 433 00:31:10,898 --> 00:31:12,536 Hey, my roommate, Dr. Robot... 434 00:31:12,618 --> 00:31:14,688 busted me taping some college chicks in the shower. 435 00:31:14,778 --> 00:31:16,813 So now I have to be all nice to him and shit. 436 00:31:16,897 --> 00:31:20,128 And I'm not getting any good footage 'cause these fucking bandees hate me. 437 00:31:21,777 --> 00:31:23,893 Think of it like trying to hook up with a virgin. 438 00:31:23,977 --> 00:31:27,412 Act like you give a shit about them until they bring you into the good stuff. 439 00:31:27,496 --> 00:31:29,294 Earn their trust? 440 00:31:29,896 --> 00:31:31,774 Dude, that could work. 441 00:31:31,897 --> 00:31:34,331 I'll be an undercover bandee fucker. 442 00:31:35,216 --> 00:31:38,572 Hello, everyone. Isn't it a peachy day here at Band Camp? 443 00:31:38,776 --> 00:31:42,485 Band buds. How's it going? Yo. 444 00:31:43,215 --> 00:31:47,003 Hey, I just want to say thanks for the little wakeup call. You kidders. 445 00:31:48,095 --> 00:31:51,053 Hey, I can finally hear the music calling me, okay? 446 00:31:52,255 --> 00:31:54,974 There. Hear it? Yeah. Me, too. 447 00:31:55,216 --> 00:31:59,686 So I'm a totally new man, and... By the way, you both look great in pantyhose. 448 00:32:09,655 --> 00:32:12,805 - What are you doing? - Awaiting my marching lesson, ma'am. 449 00:32:12,894 --> 00:32:15,249 Look, Matt, I really don't have time for this right now. 450 00:32:15,334 --> 00:32:18,724 No, look, I figure I'm here, I might as well make the best of it. 451 00:32:18,814 --> 00:32:22,089 Matt, marching's hard, okay? It's not like throwing some football. 452 00:32:22,173 --> 00:32:25,689 - Oh, you ever thrown into double coverage? - You ever high-stepped in double time? 453 00:32:25,773 --> 00:32:29,130 Yes, ma'am, the time the cops chased us across Koreno's Creek. 454 00:32:29,733 --> 00:32:32,486 And you got so scared, you cried. 455 00:32:33,213 --> 00:32:37,126 - I had allergies. - It was winter, Mattie. 456 00:32:38,092 --> 00:32:41,403 Well, if you don't teach me to march, I might just cry again. 457 00:32:44,853 --> 00:32:45,967 Fine. 458 00:32:46,253 --> 00:32:50,131 Left foot on one and three, right foot on two and four. 459 00:32:50,212 --> 00:32:51,691 You have to do math? 460 00:32:59,931 --> 00:33:03,685 One, two, three, middle. One, two, three, line. 461 00:33:03,771 --> 00:33:05,888 Right foot on four. 462 00:33:08,051 --> 00:33:10,485 - Keep your step size even. - My what? 463 00:33:11,971 --> 00:33:15,361 All right, there we go, little buddy. I'm gonna fix you up good. 464 00:33:16,771 --> 00:33:21,401 Any girl that knows how to play a tuba, she can do things. That's what Stifler says. 465 00:33:21,491 --> 00:33:24,005 I don't know what it means, but it's got to be good. 466 00:33:24,091 --> 00:33:25,285 You're good to go. 467 00:33:25,371 --> 00:33:26,849 Let's go find Chloe. 468 00:33:39,129 --> 00:33:40,278 Holy shit. 469 00:33:41,489 --> 00:33:44,640 What the hell? Who's doing this? 470 00:33:46,889 --> 00:33:47,958 Take it. 471 00:33:48,049 --> 00:33:49,084 It's okay. 472 00:33:58,368 --> 00:34:01,838 - Thanks, little creepy machine. - You're welcome... 473 00:34:02,208 --> 00:34:03,846 beautiful lady. 474 00:34:18,527 --> 00:34:22,645 With my right, with my right, but I can also do it with my left, with my left. 475 00:34:26,007 --> 00:34:27,042 Bootie. 476 00:34:28,407 --> 00:34:29,476 Good game. 477 00:34:35,446 --> 00:34:37,198 You just touched my bootie. 478 00:34:43,966 --> 00:34:46,274 - What's that? - Your instrument. 479 00:34:46,726 --> 00:34:48,443 That's fucking gay. 480 00:34:49,445 --> 00:34:51,481 - I mean lame. - Good. 481 00:34:52,245 --> 00:34:54,998 Now, there are two positions. 482 00:34:55,605 --> 00:34:59,598 Carrying position, like this, and playing position, like this. 483 00:34:59,765 --> 00:35:01,403 Now when I call, "horns up"... 484 00:35:01,485 --> 00:35:03,476 you're gonna move your instrument out, and then... 485 00:35:03,565 --> 00:35:05,157 Hello, losers. 486 00:35:05,324 --> 00:35:08,953 Matt. Oh, my God. Matt, I am so sorry. 487 00:35:09,044 --> 00:35:11,194 - I think I bit a hole in my tongue. - Oh, let me see. 488 00:35:11,285 --> 00:35:13,718 No, no hole. On today's... 489 00:35:13,803 --> 00:35:17,001 episode wasting time on lost causes. 490 00:35:17,683 --> 00:35:21,642 Speaking of which, I understand you composed the music to your show, Elyse... 491 00:35:21,724 --> 00:35:23,282 if you call that music. 492 00:35:23,364 --> 00:35:25,719 Yeah. That's right. I did. 493 00:35:25,804 --> 00:35:27,919 And who'd your daddy hire to compose yours? 494 00:35:28,003 --> 00:35:32,758 I'm just giving you fair warning, cupcake. Robards Scholarship is mine. 495 00:35:33,243 --> 00:35:34,595 Like you need it. 496 00:35:34,883 --> 00:35:37,761 It's not a matter of need. It's a matter of want. 497 00:35:38,043 --> 00:35:41,318 - Yeah, I get what I want. - Why don't you shut the fuck up? 498 00:35:41,403 --> 00:35:42,596 Matt, don't. 499 00:35:43,602 --> 00:35:46,275 - What are you going to do? - Kick your ass. 500 00:35:46,442 --> 00:35:48,160 - Are you challenging me? - No. 501 00:35:48,242 --> 00:35:51,473 - Yeah, what if I am? - No, Brandon, that is not what he's doing. 502 00:35:51,561 --> 00:35:54,280 I accept. Amphitheatre, 5:00. 503 00:35:54,642 --> 00:35:57,395 It's been three years since I've been challenged. 504 00:35:57,642 --> 00:35:59,438 We got a challenge. 505 00:36:02,041 --> 00:36:04,350 I look forward to reminding people why. 506 00:36:05,121 --> 00:36:06,554 East Great Falls. 507 00:36:06,841 --> 00:36:08,877 I'll see you there, asshole. 508 00:36:10,681 --> 00:36:14,356 - Do you know what you just did? - Doesn't matter. He's going down. 509 00:36:14,441 --> 00:36:17,001 Matt, you challenged him to a duel. 510 00:36:17,280 --> 00:36:18,429 With swords? 511 00:36:19,040 --> 00:36:22,715 No, you idiot. You each get on stage and perform. 512 00:36:22,800 --> 00:36:24,756 And the crowd decides who wins. 513 00:36:25,240 --> 00:36:27,070 Can't we just do keg stands? 514 00:36:27,640 --> 00:36:31,871 Matt, this is serious, okay? Beechwood gets five points if he wins... 515 00:36:31,959 --> 00:36:35,111 which, you know, he will because he plays an instrument. 516 00:36:35,320 --> 00:36:37,037 Well, so do I. 517 00:36:37,559 --> 00:36:40,233 Let the Tall Oaks Battle Royale begin. 518 00:36:40,799 --> 00:36:43,552 The prize is five points towards the cup. 519 00:36:44,439 --> 00:36:46,350 Okay, Brandon, you're up first. 520 00:37:28,516 --> 00:37:29,744 Come on! 521 00:37:31,996 --> 00:37:34,430 Suck on that, bitch. 522 00:37:35,436 --> 00:37:36,664 Lame. 523 00:37:37,396 --> 00:37:38,908 This is so embarrassing. 524 00:37:38,995 --> 00:37:40,189 Okay, Brandon. 525 00:37:40,275 --> 00:37:41,834 Now you show him, Brandon. 526 00:37:59,035 --> 00:38:00,184 Take that! 527 00:38:11,354 --> 00:38:14,027 Well, seems this contest is over. 528 00:38:14,674 --> 00:38:16,948 Figures. We just lost five points. 529 00:38:19,473 --> 00:38:22,352 And the winner by forfeit is... 530 00:38:24,753 --> 00:38:26,345 But I know it's not his fault... 531 00:38:48,632 --> 00:38:50,304 You don't know the words. 532 00:39:11,191 --> 00:39:12,703 He should shave that. 533 00:39:15,430 --> 00:39:17,022 East Great Falls! 534 00:39:17,590 --> 00:39:19,342 East Great Falls! 535 00:39:19,630 --> 00:39:21,461 East Great Falls! 536 00:39:22,110 --> 00:39:23,667 East Great Falls! 537 00:39:26,710 --> 00:39:29,178 Okay, five points to Great Falls. 538 00:39:30,989 --> 00:39:32,901 All right, Great Falls! 539 00:39:35,189 --> 00:39:37,259 East Great Falls! 540 00:39:39,669 --> 00:39:40,499 East Great Falls! 541 00:39:41,509 --> 00:39:43,545 East Great Falls! 542 00:39:43,629 --> 00:39:45,539 East Great Falls! 543 00:39:47,068 --> 00:39:48,707 Hey, hey... 544 00:39:48,789 --> 00:39:50,779 - Hey. - What? 545 00:39:50,868 --> 00:39:53,336 - Are you really Scottish? - Fuck, no. 546 00:39:54,308 --> 00:39:55,627 My mum made me learn an instrument. 547 00:39:55,708 --> 00:39:57,505 That's the most annoying one I could think of. 548 00:39:57,588 --> 00:40:01,217 I think you were just born to squeeze sacks and blow pipes, Stifler. 549 00:40:01,427 --> 00:40:02,701 Hey, Oscar. 550 00:40:07,228 --> 00:40:09,787 How many other Oscars do you know? Go! 551 00:40:12,067 --> 00:40:14,376 - What's up? - Your drum line sounds pretty tight. 552 00:40:14,467 --> 00:40:15,502 Oh, thanks. 553 00:40:15,587 --> 00:40:17,543 You let me know if you want to learn some new moves. 554 00:40:17,747 --> 00:40:18,816 Really? 555 00:40:18,907 --> 00:40:21,501 - He's gonna screw it up. - He's definitely gonna screw it up. 556 00:40:22,987 --> 00:40:27,059 - Thanks for winning those points back. - I lost them. I had to get them back. 557 00:40:27,867 --> 00:40:30,824 Hey, guys, Sheree's gonna show me some moves. 558 00:40:31,346 --> 00:40:32,381 Hey, gang... 559 00:40:32,466 --> 00:40:36,663 just a little reminder that as the battle for the cup heats up, let's try to remember... 560 00:40:37,825 --> 00:40:41,216 to keep up that Tall Oaks spirit of fair play and friendly competition. 561 00:40:41,985 --> 00:40:44,260 We'll have enough spit for a six-pack. 562 00:40:47,385 --> 00:40:50,218 - Yeah, baby, you did me proud, son. - Thanks, J. Lo. 563 00:40:50,305 --> 00:40:51,704 It's cool. Big O? 564 00:40:52,065 --> 00:40:54,942 Quite a little show you put on yesterday, Stifler. 565 00:40:55,104 --> 00:40:57,823 You know, these plebes think you're some kind of hero. 566 00:40:57,904 --> 00:41:00,054 I don't know what a plebe is, Vande-creep. 567 00:41:00,144 --> 00:41:03,217 Didn't anybody tell you not to mess with the big dog while he's eating? 568 00:41:03,305 --> 00:41:05,943 It's mine, jerk-wad. Now will you give it back? 569 00:41:07,344 --> 00:41:10,461 - Dildos. - This is still my camp, asshole. 570 00:41:10,703 --> 00:41:13,137 - You're going down. - No, I'm not. 571 00:41:13,223 --> 00:41:14,293 But your mum did last night. 572 00:41:14,383 --> 00:41:17,581 Did she play the trumpet? Because she has really strong lips. 573 00:41:17,824 --> 00:41:19,052 That's right. 574 00:41:34,102 --> 00:41:35,217 Yummy. 575 00:41:38,822 --> 00:41:40,733 That's what I'm talking about. 576 00:41:41,862 --> 00:41:44,695 - What happened this time, Claire? - Well, I was working on my solo... 577 00:41:44,781 --> 00:41:46,180 and I hurt myself. 578 00:41:47,022 --> 00:41:48,773 I've been fucking poisoned. 579 00:41:50,021 --> 00:41:52,615 Ipecac is a natural herbal extract... 580 00:41:52,701 --> 00:41:55,614 that triggers the regurgitation reflex. 581 00:41:59,781 --> 00:42:02,375 Whatever's in there should be out soon enough. 582 00:42:02,661 --> 00:42:04,332 Like him, if we're lucky. 583 00:42:06,261 --> 00:42:09,730 Well, I'm pretty sure it's probably just something... 584 00:42:10,061 --> 00:42:14,258 you had for lunch, you know? I've got the same problem. Very sensitive stomach. 585 00:42:14,860 --> 00:42:18,136 I was at a banquet once. On the same plate, if you can believe it... 586 00:42:18,220 --> 00:42:23,214 they had creamed venison, squid fritters, and jellied pork. 587 00:42:28,620 --> 00:42:29,689 What? 588 00:42:40,459 --> 00:42:43,053 - Hey, what's up, crust bucket? - Come here, dude. Check this out. 589 00:42:43,139 --> 00:42:46,654 So, this afternoon, while the counselors were practicing for the talent show... 590 00:42:46,739 --> 00:42:49,207 I faked an asthma attack, and I changed both of the cameras. 591 00:42:49,299 --> 00:42:51,858 It's their talent show routine, au naturel. 592 00:42:52,218 --> 00:42:54,812 Dude, you filthy little cyberfucker. Shit. 593 00:42:55,617 --> 00:42:59,930 - Hey, I thought we were just going to watch. - Exactly, we may want to watch it again. 594 00:43:05,018 --> 00:43:09,693 Hey, so, I took your advice about Chloe. I used the Rover to deliver a soda. 595 00:43:10,257 --> 00:43:13,931 - That was your cool, crazy idea? - Yeah, I think she actually liked it. 596 00:43:14,017 --> 00:43:16,929 - Yeah, that sounds gay. - It's not gay. 597 00:43:18,417 --> 00:43:21,169 Anyway, there's this bonfire-slushee party tonight... 598 00:43:21,256 --> 00:43:24,373 and I really need to know Step Two in the Stiffmeister plan. 599 00:43:24,457 --> 00:43:27,892 Slushee party. Really. 600 00:43:28,216 --> 00:43:29,729 Special delivery. 601 00:43:29,856 --> 00:43:31,528 Prepare to jam with the bearded clam. 602 00:43:32,736 --> 00:43:34,249 Get ready to cuddle the love puddle. 603 00:43:34,336 --> 00:43:37,533 The time has come for Dr. Robot to get laid. 604 00:43:37,736 --> 00:43:38,770 Get laid? 605 00:43:38,936 --> 00:43:41,496 I told you, trust the Stiffmeister. 606 00:43:41,735 --> 00:43:44,374 Meister means "master" in German. 607 00:43:45,255 --> 00:43:49,407 Get her drunk? That's the secret of the ages? That's Step Number Two? 608 00:43:49,495 --> 00:43:54,249 No, actually, it's Step Four. You don't have the balls for Two or the tongue for Three. 609 00:43:54,414 --> 00:43:55,848 I've got the balls. 610 00:43:56,374 --> 00:43:58,808 Hey, you haven't heard Step Five yet. 611 00:44:02,454 --> 00:44:05,969 Born to be wild 612 00:44:09,494 --> 00:44:13,009 Well, I'm hot blooded Check it and see 613 00:44:13,373 --> 00:44:17,003 I've got a fever of 103 614 00:44:17,093 --> 00:44:19,766 Come on baby Do you do more than dance? 615 00:44:21,493 --> 00:44:24,166 - This is some good shit. - Don't enjoy it too much. 616 00:44:24,253 --> 00:44:27,563 - We have a big practice tomorrow, you guys. - Relax, Leesy. 617 00:44:27,973 --> 00:44:31,044 Suckle the tender fruits of Band Camp with your friends. 618 00:44:31,173 --> 00:44:34,801 Come on, Elyse. Cut loose a little bit. Have some fun. 619 00:44:34,892 --> 00:44:36,166 I am having fun. 620 00:44:36,252 --> 00:44:39,130 Hey, horn dog, let's go get some more of these before they run out. 621 00:44:39,212 --> 00:44:41,520 - All right. - Horn dog? 622 00:44:41,611 --> 00:44:45,969 Yeah, it's his nickname. Dude will stick his dick into anything. It's unnatural. 623 00:44:46,932 --> 00:44:50,640 Check it, dawg. This one time at Band Camp, I fucked an oboe. 624 00:44:51,651 --> 00:44:53,926 - Really? - Blow in it for a while... 625 00:44:54,011 --> 00:44:58,447 get that wood nice and warm, slap on some valve oil and go to town, yo. 626 00:44:58,651 --> 00:45:00,721 Hey, maybe you should try a flute. 627 00:45:05,170 --> 00:45:07,559 Now's a good time to teach you those moves. 628 00:45:07,650 --> 00:45:08,639 Really? 629 00:45:14,050 --> 00:45:15,165 What? 630 00:45:29,049 --> 00:45:30,368 I know what you're doing. 631 00:45:30,449 --> 00:45:34,408 - You do? - It's what you always do. You're a fake. 632 00:45:34,649 --> 00:45:37,640 You do whatever it takes to be the centre of attention. 633 00:45:37,728 --> 00:45:41,437 Just like when we were kids, around me, you were regular old Matt... 634 00:45:41,768 --> 00:45:44,999 but around Steve and his friends, you were the Stiffmeister. 635 00:45:46,088 --> 00:45:47,680 Who're you going to be tonight? 636 00:45:47,768 --> 00:45:49,326 Hey, cheese dick... 637 00:45:49,408 --> 00:45:53,686 why don't you quit being such a fucking taint licker, and get me another slushee. 638 00:45:53,768 --> 00:45:55,645 Fucking puss monkey. 639 00:46:03,167 --> 00:46:05,635 You know what? I am going to have some fun. 640 00:46:13,327 --> 00:46:16,319 Fucking hoes, man. I don't get that shit. 641 00:46:16,406 --> 00:46:20,160 I mean, right now, Oscar's off in the woods tapping that counselor biatch, Sheree. 642 00:46:20,246 --> 00:46:22,919 - What's up with that? - That cock spring is getting laid? 643 00:46:23,006 --> 00:46:25,884 True that. And here we are, the two dopest homeboys in camp... 644 00:46:25,966 --> 00:46:30,083 and we ain't got no prospects for our palm pilots. That's fucked up, dawg. 645 00:46:30,446 --> 00:46:32,401 Dude, I gotta see this. 646 00:46:35,885 --> 00:46:37,716 Use your hips more. Hips, like that? 647 00:46:37,805 --> 00:46:41,559 Yeah, now faster. Yeah. Like that. A circle. Like that. 648 00:46:41,645 --> 00:46:45,637 Crikey! The alpha female has chosen an unlikely mate. 649 00:46:45,724 --> 00:46:48,238 Will he survive this dangerous encounter... 650 00:46:48,484 --> 00:46:52,717 or will she satisfy her primal needs and then devour him for dinner? 651 00:46:53,004 --> 00:46:54,562 Stay tuned. 652 00:46:54,964 --> 00:46:58,673 I'm sorry. I'm really no good at this stuff. 653 00:46:58,764 --> 00:47:00,755 Relax. You're doing fine. 654 00:47:04,003 --> 00:47:05,436 This sucks. 655 00:47:05,764 --> 00:47:08,198 How's that feel? Oscar. 656 00:47:08,763 --> 00:47:10,834 Is that your drumstick poking me? 657 00:47:11,963 --> 00:47:13,840 I don't have my drumsticks. 658 00:47:13,923 --> 00:47:16,596 Are you standing up for me again, Oscar? 659 00:47:17,123 --> 00:47:18,761 It's getting hot. 660 00:47:19,043 --> 00:47:21,841 Smack my ass and call me cowboy. 661 00:47:22,603 --> 00:47:24,718 Hello, Double-D Sheree. 662 00:47:25,162 --> 00:47:26,835 Hips. Hips. 663 00:47:27,082 --> 00:47:28,674 - Use your hips. - Oh, yeah, hips. 664 00:47:28,762 --> 00:47:30,515 And step, and... 665 00:47:33,602 --> 00:47:34,671 Who knew? 666 00:47:35,682 --> 00:47:37,001 Wow. 667 00:47:39,842 --> 00:47:42,150 Yo, we at Tall Oaks Sipping on juice 668 00:47:42,242 --> 00:47:44,436 Got horns, trumpets Rhythm and flutes 669 00:47:44,521 --> 00:47:46,751 Great Falls laying it down 670 00:47:46,841 --> 00:47:49,275 Gonna ride fucking Beechwood out of the town 671 00:47:49,361 --> 00:47:51,636 J.C., what, rocking the bunch 672 00:47:51,721 --> 00:47:54,679 All tripped out on the fucking fruit punch 673 00:47:57,961 --> 00:48:01,191 - I just want to be respectful. - Oh, that's sweet. 674 00:48:01,440 --> 00:48:03,874 The only person who's gonna get laid around here. 675 00:48:12,680 --> 00:48:14,635 Hello, oboe. 676 00:48:30,839 --> 00:48:32,511 This is so cool. 677 00:48:33,999 --> 00:48:38,150 I hope I didn't scare you with the Rover and the soda. 678 00:48:38,278 --> 00:48:40,348 No, man, it was cute. 679 00:48:41,038 --> 00:48:44,474 Nobody's ever been that sweet to me in my whole life. 680 00:48:45,038 --> 00:48:46,551 Plus, to be honest... 681 00:48:46,958 --> 00:48:49,949 metal really turns me on. 682 00:49:15,636 --> 00:49:17,707 Man, the shit's stuck. 683 00:49:41,235 --> 00:49:43,589 - Turn off the lights. - Damn, gangsta. 684 00:49:43,714 --> 00:49:46,274 - I was just fucking with you, dawg! - You... It's stuck. 685 00:49:46,354 --> 00:49:48,663 - Shit, you want help? - Don't touch me. 686 00:49:50,154 --> 00:49:51,189 Come on. 687 00:49:51,915 --> 00:49:53,427 Maybe you should blow on it. 688 00:49:53,514 --> 00:49:55,152 Maybe you should blow on it and I'll pull. 689 00:49:55,234 --> 00:49:57,304 Hell, no. Jimmy ain't putting his lips on that thing. 690 00:49:57,394 --> 00:49:58,793 Jimmy should be a team player. 691 00:49:58,874 --> 00:50:01,024 Try and relax, dawg. Not so hard. 692 00:50:01,114 --> 00:50:02,627 Oh, my God! 693 00:50:09,313 --> 00:50:12,670 - I was just trying to help him get it off, yo. - Dude, shut up. 694 00:50:12,753 --> 00:50:13,822 Whatever. 695 00:50:13,912 --> 00:50:15,869 He had an allergic reaction to the valve oil. 696 00:50:15,953 --> 00:50:18,513 The swelling should go down in a few minutes. 697 00:50:18,753 --> 00:50:22,711 These kinds of things would never happen with our old Macro. 698 00:50:42,872 --> 00:50:45,590 We didn't have MTV when I was growing up. 699 00:50:46,871 --> 00:50:49,339 So maybe it's the over-stimulated times... 700 00:50:49,431 --> 00:50:53,390 that we live in that causes young men to stick their... 701 00:50:54,071 --> 00:50:56,823 instruments in such odd places. 702 00:50:58,671 --> 00:51:00,183 I knew a certain young man once... 703 00:51:00,270 --> 00:51:03,421 who actually engaged in sexual congress with an apple pie. 704 00:51:03,590 --> 00:51:05,387 And he turned out just fine. 705 00:51:05,910 --> 00:51:08,707 So, you're perfectly normal... 706 00:51:09,790 --> 00:51:11,302 as these things go. 707 00:51:28,909 --> 00:51:31,900 - Are you okay? - Oh, yeah. 708 00:51:31,988 --> 00:51:36,300 I'm so drunk right now. I'm probably going to forget about you... 709 00:51:37,709 --> 00:51:39,699 porking an oboe. 710 00:51:48,428 --> 00:51:50,100 I have six piercings. 711 00:51:51,507 --> 00:51:53,941 That doesn't include the ones on my face. 712 00:52:06,907 --> 00:52:08,260 Two right here... 713 00:52:10,547 --> 00:52:13,458 and four down here. 714 00:52:24,705 --> 00:52:26,583 Haven't seen that in a while. 715 00:52:26,945 --> 00:52:31,780 Yeah, well, no time for dance. It's all about band, band, band. 716 00:52:31,865 --> 00:52:33,776 No, I was talking about you having fun. 717 00:52:33,865 --> 00:52:37,255 - I have fun. I have fun all the time. - Yeah. 718 00:52:37,345 --> 00:52:39,939 I just get stressed out, you know. I mean... 719 00:52:40,585 --> 00:52:42,700 we graduate next year, and I don't know. 720 00:52:42,784 --> 00:52:44,741 I mean, I don't really talk about it all that much... 721 00:52:44,825 --> 00:52:47,657 because the cup is, like, a team thing, and... 722 00:52:47,744 --> 00:52:50,736 But winning the Robards Scholarship, I mean, that is like... 723 00:52:50,824 --> 00:52:52,462 my future, you know? And... 724 00:52:53,384 --> 00:52:56,102 Dr. Choi is coming. I mean... 725 00:52:56,264 --> 00:52:59,573 you don't understand. She's like famous... 726 00:53:00,023 --> 00:53:02,902 like holy-shit famous. And, sometimes, I just... 727 00:53:03,903 --> 00:53:05,542 I get really stressed out... 728 00:53:05,623 --> 00:53:09,298 and I calm myself down by going off and playing on my Picardo. 729 00:53:09,983 --> 00:53:12,577 Wait, you have... Picardo? 730 00:53:12,743 --> 00:53:15,211 It's just a cheapie, but I lost it. 731 00:53:15,542 --> 00:53:18,615 - Wait, if I somehow found this Picard thing... - You found it? 732 00:53:18,863 --> 00:53:20,693 - Maybe. - Give it back. 733 00:53:20,982 --> 00:53:22,462 If you let me watch. 734 00:53:23,382 --> 00:53:26,295 Okay, but it takes me a while to warm up. 735 00:53:26,382 --> 00:53:28,737 I have all the time in the world. 736 00:53:31,221 --> 00:53:32,257 Figures. 737 00:53:34,061 --> 00:53:36,529 But I'm going to have to be really drunk. 738 00:53:37,381 --> 00:53:40,578 I mean really drunk. Really drunk. 739 00:53:41,461 --> 00:53:42,450 Yes. 740 00:53:43,021 --> 00:53:44,454 Beat it, jerk off. 741 00:54:02,780 --> 00:54:05,010 Okay, people, let's take a break. 742 00:54:08,300 --> 00:54:10,335 We're all a little sluggish today. 743 00:54:12,060 --> 00:54:13,618 Man, we suck. 744 00:54:13,700 --> 00:54:17,089 Man, one night of fun was not worth losing a whole day of practice. 745 00:54:20,659 --> 00:54:22,092 Give me this thing. 746 00:54:22,859 --> 00:54:25,327 All right, listen up, you lazy bunch of lip shits. 747 00:54:25,419 --> 00:54:27,295 Those Beechwood plebes aren't taking breaks. 748 00:54:27,378 --> 00:54:30,176 We want to win this thing, we've gotta bust our asses. 749 00:54:30,499 --> 00:54:32,534 Come on, bitches. Back to work. 750 00:54:32,618 --> 00:54:35,291 - Matt, that's my job. - Grab your cocks and move your socks. 751 00:54:35,378 --> 00:54:37,414 We're at war here, people, war! 752 00:54:37,498 --> 00:54:40,728 Show some tits. Grow some balls. Hey, keep that thing warm for me. 753 00:54:40,818 --> 00:54:44,777 All right, now. What, you want to let Beechwood tittie-fuck us? I didn't think so. 754 00:54:44,858 --> 00:54:46,132 All right, Tall Oakers... 755 00:54:46,218 --> 00:54:49,130 we're in our final week. Time to put on our game faces. 756 00:54:49,217 --> 00:54:52,254 And time to strap yourselves in for a bumpy ride. 757 00:54:52,337 --> 00:54:54,214 I want the oboe, clarinet, black thingies... 758 00:54:54,297 --> 00:54:56,970 and we've got the rhythm section in a full-on blitz. 759 00:54:57,057 --> 00:54:59,126 - Are you with me, bandees? - Yeah! 760 00:54:59,217 --> 00:55:01,890 Competition for the Tall Oaks Cup is really heating up. 761 00:55:05,416 --> 00:55:06,849 Beechwood wins. 762 00:55:08,976 --> 00:55:09,965 Whatever. 763 00:55:10,056 --> 00:55:11,330 I told you, you should let me steer. 764 00:55:11,416 --> 00:55:13,008 Take that bitch home, man. 765 00:55:13,376 --> 00:55:17,574 Drive it in. Hey, you, fuck face, I don't even know where to start with you. 766 00:55:24,136 --> 00:55:27,605 Beechwood leads. Great Falls and Lloyd are tied for second. 767 00:55:27,695 --> 00:55:29,686 Beechwood licks nuts. Hut! 768 00:55:37,894 --> 00:55:40,045 Victory, East Great Falls. 769 00:55:43,294 --> 00:55:45,330 Right foot on line. 770 00:55:47,014 --> 00:55:48,970 Jimmy, you fucking lotion lover. 771 00:55:55,854 --> 00:55:58,368 East Great Falls by four points. 772 00:56:07,613 --> 00:56:09,365 Hey, butt pirates ahoy. 773 00:56:10,253 --> 00:56:13,608 Your little band may be leading in the competition, Stifler... 774 00:56:14,972 --> 00:56:17,486 but make sure to let us know if you get thirsty. 775 00:56:17,572 --> 00:56:19,722 Yeah, 'cause there's plenty of this. 776 00:56:24,852 --> 00:56:28,640 That's funny for you dorks. Yeah, it is, isn't it? Yeah. 777 00:56:28,852 --> 00:56:31,366 Man, screw that challenge. I'm just gonna kick his ass. 778 00:56:31,452 --> 00:56:33,522 No, wait. I've got a better idea... 779 00:56:34,411 --> 00:56:36,367 if you think you're man enough. 780 00:56:47,931 --> 00:56:48,919 Yes. 781 00:56:49,010 --> 00:56:52,048 - Hey, you sure you can do this? - Hey, born to be a porn star, baby. 782 00:56:52,131 --> 00:56:53,563 Delivery on demand. 783 00:56:54,610 --> 00:56:57,522 When I get back, I'll be a million Stiflers lighter. 784 00:57:16,809 --> 00:57:18,765 Brandon, I think you're a really good drummer, so... 785 00:57:18,849 --> 00:57:19,884 Excuse me. 786 00:57:31,648 --> 00:57:32,922 Hey, guys... 787 00:57:33,008 --> 00:57:36,603 don't forget your sunscreen. Your bodies are your instruments. 788 00:57:36,688 --> 00:57:38,678 Yeah, you don't want to be chapped for your solos. 789 00:57:38,768 --> 00:57:40,997 No, we don't. Bye now. 790 00:57:46,047 --> 00:57:48,197 What is that, 30? It's really thick. 791 00:57:58,126 --> 00:57:59,958 How's that taste, Vande-cock? 792 00:58:00,526 --> 00:58:02,677 Good, huh? Warm and salty? Yeah. 793 00:58:02,767 --> 00:58:06,396 It's a cum-pletely new formula. 100% Stiffy juice... 794 00:58:06,486 --> 00:58:08,522 S.P.F. 69. 795 00:58:15,005 --> 00:58:16,200 Suck on that. 796 00:58:17,286 --> 00:58:18,843 - Yeah. - Stop, man. 797 00:58:18,925 --> 00:58:20,563 - Yeah. - Ernie. 798 00:58:20,646 --> 00:58:21,920 - Yeah. - Ernie. 799 00:58:30,924 --> 00:58:33,438 What you had before was way better than this. 800 00:58:33,524 --> 00:58:37,403 This sounds like your overactive honor-society brain. 801 00:58:37,845 --> 00:58:41,473 Instead of your nasty, wet... 802 00:58:42,284 --> 00:58:43,717 dirty-girl panties. 803 00:58:44,604 --> 00:58:46,515 It should be more spontaneous. 804 00:58:49,363 --> 00:58:50,637 Stop. 805 00:58:50,724 --> 00:58:53,443 Maybe you should hang out with your friend Matt a little bit more. 806 00:58:53,524 --> 00:58:54,512 Yeah, right. 807 00:58:54,603 --> 00:58:58,039 I know he's a dick and everything, but he's also got one. 808 00:58:58,163 --> 00:59:02,236 Make some love music, you know? And then your notes will just cum to you. 809 00:59:02,843 --> 00:59:05,915 - Oh, Matt! - Stop. 810 00:59:06,123 --> 00:59:07,555 Matt. Matt. 811 00:59:10,643 --> 00:59:12,998 Go long, you asshole. Go. 812 00:59:13,762 --> 00:59:15,560 Hey, Elyse. 813 00:59:16,762 --> 00:59:18,639 Throw it back. Come on. 814 00:59:19,402 --> 00:59:20,801 What you got? 815 00:59:28,161 --> 00:59:29,480 Missed. Sorry. 816 00:59:31,041 --> 00:59:32,680 Hey, if I have to ring the triangle... 817 00:59:32,762 --> 00:59:34,592 - you have to throw the football, all right? - Okay. 818 00:59:34,681 --> 00:59:36,478 Draw your arm back. There you go. 819 00:59:36,562 --> 00:59:40,156 Shoulder to your target. Right. Okay, now step forward. 820 00:59:40,241 --> 00:59:42,550 Come on we're not marching. One foot. 821 00:59:42,641 --> 00:59:45,393 - Okay. - You're fine. Ready? There you go. 822 00:59:45,641 --> 00:59:46,960 Draw the ball over your ear... 823 00:59:47,041 --> 00:59:50,077 and when you throw it, let it roll right off your fingers, all right? 824 00:59:51,240 --> 00:59:52,310 Okay. 825 00:59:52,640 --> 00:59:54,039 Come on, throw it. 826 00:59:59,720 --> 01:00:01,438 See? I taught you something. What? 827 01:00:01,520 --> 01:00:03,908 So every time I throw it, you're gonna run and go get it? 828 01:00:04,000 --> 01:00:05,672 That's generally how it works. 829 01:00:05,760 --> 01:00:07,511 Like playing fetch with my dog. 830 01:00:07,599 --> 01:00:11,228 - Yeah, except I don't lick my own balls. - You would if you could. 831 01:00:11,559 --> 01:00:12,548 Oh, yeah. 832 01:00:14,119 --> 01:00:15,234 Okay, again. 833 01:00:16,159 --> 01:00:17,308 Right here. 834 01:00:18,479 --> 01:00:20,993 Look, that one looks like a bunny. 835 01:00:21,319 --> 01:00:23,149 No, it doesn't. 836 01:00:24,438 --> 01:00:26,430 Maybe a bunny with one nut. 837 01:00:26,638 --> 01:00:29,277 - No, that's its tail. - Whatever you say. 838 01:00:32,518 --> 01:00:35,476 - You think we'll win this thing? - Hell, yeah, we will. 839 01:00:35,598 --> 01:00:39,716 - Lf you write in a bagpipe part. - Oh, God, I'll never make that mistake again. 840 01:00:39,798 --> 01:00:42,709 - What? - The eighth grade recital. 841 01:00:43,717 --> 01:00:46,072 You made me write in a part for you. 842 01:00:48,277 --> 01:00:50,154 You wore your kilt. 843 01:00:51,477 --> 01:00:53,866 Yeah, Steve showed up with his friends. 844 01:00:54,477 --> 01:00:56,593 They gave me so much shit for that. 845 01:00:56,917 --> 01:00:59,192 I didn't come out of my room for days. 846 01:00:59,476 --> 01:01:02,548 You made it up to him by stealing all my underwear... 847 01:01:02,636 --> 01:01:04,911 so you could run them up the flagpole. 848 01:01:05,836 --> 01:01:07,588 Including my training bras. 849 01:01:10,555 --> 01:01:13,069 Okay, since we're having some big fucking Oprah moment here... 850 01:01:13,155 --> 01:01:15,112 I'm sorry about your underwear. 851 01:01:15,236 --> 01:01:16,793 And the diary. 852 01:01:19,435 --> 01:01:21,313 And all that other shit, too. 853 01:01:59,953 --> 01:02:01,022 That's it. 854 01:02:01,552 --> 01:02:04,305 - You started it. - This is gonna get me that scholarship. 855 01:02:04,393 --> 01:02:05,381 What? 856 01:02:05,472 --> 01:02:08,032 I've got to go write this down before I forget. 857 01:02:09,833 --> 01:02:11,152 Hey. Hey. Hey. 858 01:02:12,912 --> 01:02:14,869 Could we do this again tomorrow night? 859 01:02:14,952 --> 01:02:17,705 Yeah, sure. I'll see you here at sunset. 860 01:02:18,192 --> 01:02:19,466 Hey. 861 01:02:20,392 --> 01:02:22,747 Should I bring that Picardo thing? 862 01:02:22,832 --> 01:02:24,981 Okay, I'll do a solo for you. 863 01:02:34,751 --> 01:02:36,389 - What's up, Ernie? - Hey. 864 01:02:54,630 --> 01:02:56,540 It was that fugly nurse again. 865 01:03:11,028 --> 01:03:12,781 Oh, my God. 866 01:03:12,869 --> 01:03:14,143 Matt Stifler? 867 01:03:14,868 --> 01:03:19,340 - Holy shit, look at you. - Arrianna, what are you doing here? 868 01:03:19,429 --> 01:03:22,625 We practice our routine with the band. What are you doing here? 869 01:03:22,708 --> 01:03:25,017 I had to come. The school made me. 870 01:03:25,948 --> 01:03:29,224 - Does anybody know about this yet? - Oh, they do now. 871 01:03:30,228 --> 01:03:33,264 Hey, come on, no pictures. What're you, the papa-tit-zzy? 872 01:03:33,348 --> 01:03:35,020 - Holy shit, this is so hilarious. - Smile. 873 01:03:35,108 --> 01:03:38,783 Ladies. No time for fraternizing. 874 01:03:39,747 --> 01:03:43,660 Get the bags. Guess I'll see you around, bandee. 875 01:03:43,828 --> 01:03:47,900 What a dork. I'm going to email this to everybody. 876 01:04:09,346 --> 01:04:12,018 Girls, that was great. Percussion, take five. 877 01:04:12,105 --> 01:04:13,777 Horns, we've got to work on intonation. 878 01:04:13,866 --> 01:04:16,379 The final performance is tomorrow, you guys. 879 01:04:17,185 --> 01:04:18,937 They're so lame. 880 01:04:19,905 --> 01:04:22,180 You play the triangle. How cute. 881 01:04:22,984 --> 01:04:26,022 No, I don't. Look, I told you... 882 01:04:26,664 --> 01:04:27,938 - I had to... - I gotta go. 883 01:04:28,024 --> 01:04:31,222 - I don't socialize with bandees. - I'm not a fucking bandee. 884 01:04:31,584 --> 01:04:35,099 I'm not. Look. I've just been acting like a geek. 885 01:04:35,384 --> 01:04:38,217 I've been playing them so I could get them on hidden video. 886 01:04:38,304 --> 01:04:41,694 I've been secretly videotaping them doing all this crazy shit. 887 01:04:42,624 --> 01:04:45,502 - Really? - Yeah, I could show you. 888 01:04:48,024 --> 01:04:50,253 Okay, come by after dinner. 889 01:04:50,744 --> 01:04:53,258 I'll leave my pompoms in the window for you. 890 01:05:25,381 --> 01:05:27,975 - You're late. - Yeah, no shit. Open the window. 891 01:05:31,181 --> 01:05:33,012 Hold on. Be careful with it. 892 01:05:41,741 --> 01:05:44,857 All right, one condition before I show you the fruits of my labors. 893 01:05:44,940 --> 01:05:46,089 What's that? 894 01:05:46,420 --> 01:05:49,139 I want that picture on that camera phone erased. 895 01:06:00,299 --> 01:06:03,291 Nobody at school hears about the triangle or the beanie. 896 01:06:03,379 --> 01:06:05,893 I don't want anybody to think I'm a dorky-ass bandee. 897 01:06:05,979 --> 01:06:07,731 Fine. Like, now can we get on with it? 898 01:06:07,819 --> 01:06:11,129 As soon as you get rid of that picture of me on your phone. 899 01:06:24,938 --> 01:06:27,657 Are you going into town? Not tonight. I'm too tired. 900 01:06:27,738 --> 01:06:30,252 Besides, they're much hotter here. 901 01:06:30,338 --> 01:06:33,136 I know. It's a great crop this year. 902 01:06:47,337 --> 01:06:51,091 - There. Done deal. - Now can we see the video? 903 01:06:51,936 --> 01:06:53,495 Stiffmeister Productions... 904 01:06:53,577 --> 01:06:57,012 in association with its talented new director, Matthew Stifler... 905 01:06:57,096 --> 01:06:59,007 is happy to premier the unedited... 906 01:06:59,096 --> 01:07:03,374 unfiltered, and un-fucking-believable Bandeez Gone Wild. 907 01:07:04,656 --> 01:07:05,771 Oh, yeah. 908 01:07:09,855 --> 01:07:13,530 - Oh, my God. - That is unbelievable. 909 01:07:35,254 --> 01:07:37,484 - You're kidding me, right? - That's great. 910 01:07:38,894 --> 01:07:41,931 Danielle likes Jimmy, but she's like a foot taller than him. 911 01:07:42,014 --> 01:07:43,413 And wait till you hear this. 912 01:07:43,494 --> 01:07:45,962 Sheree slept with that big Oscar guy, the drummer. 913 01:07:46,054 --> 01:07:47,486 Said he was amazing. 914 01:07:48,053 --> 01:07:51,125 I hooked up with Brandon once. Some drummer. He has... 915 01:07:51,213 --> 01:07:52,965 no rhythm, and he can't even bang very long. 916 01:07:53,133 --> 01:07:54,850 Oh, my God. Are you serious? 917 01:07:54,933 --> 01:07:58,926 Yeah, he's a preemie. I'm not talking about the day he was born, either. 918 01:07:59,932 --> 01:08:02,571 Can you get my back? I think I got a little bit of sun today? 919 01:08:02,652 --> 01:08:03,641 Sure. 920 01:08:03,852 --> 01:08:06,650 Get this. He has one ball. 921 01:08:07,212 --> 01:08:09,442 No way. One ball. 922 01:08:10,532 --> 01:08:13,365 Yeah, that why he carries that big stick around everywhere. 923 01:08:13,452 --> 01:08:15,408 It's got his other ball on top. 924 01:08:18,492 --> 01:08:20,210 Shit, shit, oh, shit. 925 01:08:23,131 --> 01:08:24,564 What is that thing? 926 01:08:38,050 --> 01:08:39,324 Let's kill it. 927 01:08:40,690 --> 01:08:41,839 - Where'd he go? - There he is. 928 01:08:41,930 --> 01:08:42,999 Look out. 929 01:09:21,288 --> 01:09:23,119 This is going into the lake. 930 01:09:24,128 --> 01:09:26,517 No one's gonna know about your little video. 931 01:09:26,608 --> 01:09:29,122 'Cause the shit you got us doing on tape... 932 01:09:33,967 --> 01:09:37,482 So we got a contest to win tomorrow. And I don't want to see you. 933 01:09:37,847 --> 01:09:38,962 Understand? 934 01:09:44,847 --> 01:09:46,200 Did you help him? 935 01:10:10,165 --> 01:10:11,757 With East Great Falls in the lead... 936 01:10:11,845 --> 01:10:14,484 Beechwood has to win the Band Camp Playoffs. 937 01:10:14,605 --> 01:10:16,721 Direct yourselves to the marching field in one hour. 938 01:10:18,125 --> 01:10:21,355 Now, Dr. Choi, Brandon Vandecamp from Beechwood... 939 01:10:21,444 --> 01:10:23,639 is our best musician by far... 940 01:10:23,724 --> 01:10:28,514 and his father, Landon, is our best donor, also by far. 941 01:10:29,405 --> 01:10:33,477 Robards needs talented musicians as much as we need talented donors. 942 01:10:40,643 --> 01:10:41,917 Ipecac. 943 01:10:44,203 --> 01:10:47,275 - So how's it going? Are you having fun? - It's okay. 944 01:10:52,483 --> 01:10:54,599 How about some Ipecac, Vande-cooch? 945 01:10:57,403 --> 01:11:01,111 This herbal fucking extract will help you Beechwood fief play in tune, huh? 946 01:11:02,602 --> 01:11:03,591 Shit. 947 01:11:12,682 --> 01:11:14,990 I told you I don't want to see you anymore, Stifler. 948 01:11:15,081 --> 01:11:17,151 Some day, you'll thank me, asshole. 949 01:11:21,762 --> 01:11:24,355 - Orange? - Again? 950 01:11:24,881 --> 01:11:26,836 - Damn. - That orange shit is janky. 951 01:11:26,921 --> 01:11:28,752 I'm feeling grape, dawg. 952 01:11:31,521 --> 01:11:35,308 I don't care how many times they won. They're not getting the grape today. 953 01:11:35,400 --> 01:11:37,675 That's what I'm talking about. 954 01:11:39,280 --> 01:11:42,033 Your five-time defending champion... 955 01:11:42,640 --> 01:11:44,392 Beechwood Academy. 956 01:12:15,158 --> 01:12:18,275 - They're tight. - Yeah, they're better then ever this year. 957 01:12:18,358 --> 01:12:19,757 Okay, everybody. 958 01:12:20,238 --> 01:12:22,354 It's no surprise Beechwood is good. 959 01:12:22,717 --> 01:12:26,108 But this year is different. This year, we can beat them. 960 01:12:26,997 --> 01:12:30,069 We've worked hard, and we are good enough... 961 01:12:30,157 --> 01:12:32,625 and this is our time, so lets win the cup. 962 01:12:32,717 --> 01:12:34,628 Yeah! 963 01:13:08,115 --> 01:13:09,753 Beechwood Academy. 964 01:13:09,835 --> 01:13:13,225 Their music today was composed by senior drum major... 965 01:13:13,315 --> 01:13:15,191 Brandon Vandecamp. 966 01:13:15,354 --> 01:13:16,423 Beat that. 967 01:13:19,274 --> 01:13:22,664 East Great Falls, you may enter the field for competition. 968 01:13:39,274 --> 01:13:42,310 Band 10 hut. One, two, ready. Shit. 969 01:13:42,393 --> 01:13:43,906 Leesy, wait, no. 970 01:13:43,993 --> 01:13:45,949 No. Wait. 971 01:13:55,832 --> 01:13:58,062 You know, I'm so sorry. I don't know what happened. 972 01:13:58,152 --> 01:14:00,222 Not my shoes. Here we go. 973 01:14:04,872 --> 01:14:05,907 Stifler! 974 01:14:23,031 --> 01:14:25,181 You know, you're like your brother, Steve. 975 01:14:25,271 --> 01:14:28,741 And I don't think those are the shoes you should be so eager to fill. 976 01:14:28,831 --> 01:14:31,789 You know, the people Steve thought were his friends... 977 01:14:31,910 --> 01:14:34,424 - really didn't like him very much. - What? 978 01:14:34,510 --> 01:14:35,909 But I think you're different. 979 01:14:35,990 --> 01:14:40,063 I think people want to like you, Matt. You just make it really hard. 980 01:14:53,829 --> 01:14:57,538 Parting is such sweet sorrow. When you're a loser. 981 01:15:03,828 --> 01:15:07,946 Mr. Levenstein reports that there were a few incidents... 982 01:15:08,029 --> 01:15:09,256 at camp. 983 01:15:09,748 --> 01:15:12,137 But he also says that... 984 01:15:12,268 --> 01:15:15,863 you bonded with the band briefly. 985 01:15:19,748 --> 01:15:23,821 When school starts, you're going to be on a very short leash. 986 01:15:24,028 --> 01:15:27,623 Remember, the Shermanator sees it all. 987 01:15:28,948 --> 01:15:30,175 Be gone. 988 01:15:34,907 --> 01:15:37,023 Did everybody hate my brother? 989 01:15:47,906 --> 01:15:51,376 Stardate: August 21, 2005. 990 01:15:51,946 --> 01:15:54,221 Some progress made with Stiffy Junior. 991 01:15:54,626 --> 01:15:56,981 Behavior modification evident. 992 01:15:58,385 --> 01:16:00,057 Will continue to monitor. 993 01:16:00,666 --> 01:16:02,815 Shermanator out. 994 01:16:13,505 --> 01:16:15,859 A little "Double-D Sheree" action. 995 01:16:20,264 --> 01:16:22,061 Little bit of Dr. Robot. 996 01:16:23,824 --> 01:16:25,257 Crazy fucker. 997 01:17:30,661 --> 01:17:31,935 Hey, Stifler, where's your instrument? 998 01:17:32,021 --> 01:17:33,169 Dude, you're in the wrong uniform. 999 01:17:33,261 --> 01:17:35,933 Screw them, dude. They're gonna freak out when they see the video. 1000 01:17:36,020 --> 01:17:38,136 Look, we thought that if we had an advance screening... 1001 01:17:38,219 --> 01:17:40,211 then everyone would see that you're not really a dork. 1002 01:17:40,300 --> 01:17:42,575 I can't. It's gone. 1003 01:17:43,579 --> 01:17:46,617 - What? - The video, man, I deleted it. 1004 01:17:47,580 --> 01:17:48,568 Why? 1005 01:17:49,459 --> 01:17:52,019 Guess little bro's quitting the family business. 1006 01:17:52,099 --> 01:17:53,532 Are you kidding me? 1007 01:17:56,939 --> 01:17:58,770 He went fucking bandee on us. 1008 01:18:14,498 --> 01:18:15,976 Hey, what's up, guys? 1009 01:18:16,738 --> 01:18:18,614 You a dead man, motherfucker. 1010 01:18:19,378 --> 01:18:21,288 - You, too, little man. - Wait, wait, wait, wait. 1011 01:18:21,618 --> 01:18:25,326 Dude, the purple puke was an accident. Somebody switched the coolers. 1012 01:18:29,857 --> 01:18:31,972 Hey, that orange shit is janky, yo. 1013 01:18:32,657 --> 01:18:37,287 Chloe, we never saw Elyse, you know, naked. 1014 01:18:38,016 --> 01:18:39,894 Matt turned off the computer. 1015 01:18:40,736 --> 01:18:43,204 So we're just supposed to forgive him now? 1016 01:18:44,256 --> 01:18:46,850 - He's still an asshole. - You're right. 1017 01:18:47,816 --> 01:18:49,090 I am an asshole. 1018 01:18:49,496 --> 01:18:51,645 I can't take back spying on you... 1019 01:18:51,736 --> 01:18:54,010 and I can't win that Bandee Cup thing. 1020 01:18:54,135 --> 01:18:56,888 But I can help someone get what she deserves. 1021 01:18:57,695 --> 01:18:59,765 I'm not asking you to forgive me. 1022 01:18:59,975 --> 01:19:02,443 Just help me help Elyse. 1023 01:19:12,935 --> 01:19:15,290 - I got the number. - Go ahead. 1024 01:19:15,375 --> 01:19:18,764 555-0171. 1025 01:19:20,694 --> 01:19:23,333 He shouldn't have been dumping Ipecac in anyone's cooler. 1026 01:19:23,414 --> 01:19:25,166 We could've won on our own. 1027 01:19:27,374 --> 01:19:31,491 I don't even care that he saw me on camera. Well, I mean I do, but... 1028 01:19:32,534 --> 01:19:34,683 Honey, this just came for you. 1029 01:19:38,293 --> 01:19:39,692 It's from Robards. 1030 01:19:41,093 --> 01:19:42,321 What's it say? 1031 01:19:44,013 --> 01:19:46,480 Dr. Choi wants to meet with me? 1032 01:20:03,611 --> 01:20:05,523 - Okay. - Okay. 1033 01:20:05,731 --> 01:20:07,563 - Okay. - Okay. 1034 01:20:09,172 --> 01:20:10,207 Bye. 1035 01:20:25,770 --> 01:20:28,079 Hi. Elyse Houston. 1036 01:20:29,250 --> 01:20:31,889 I have an appointment with Dr. Choi. 1037 01:20:32,930 --> 01:20:36,366 - You're not in the book. - No, there must be some mistake. See... 1038 01:20:38,250 --> 01:20:39,569 I have a letter. 1039 01:20:44,849 --> 01:20:46,646 This letter is, well... 1040 01:20:47,409 --> 01:20:48,558 It's a fake. 1041 01:20:49,049 --> 01:20:51,846 - This is not Dr. Choi's signature. - What? 1042 01:21:04,528 --> 01:21:05,597 Stifler. 1043 01:21:09,248 --> 01:21:11,397 You son of a bitch. 1044 01:21:13,008 --> 01:21:17,206 What? It wasn't enough for you to humiliate me at Band Camp? 1045 01:21:17,288 --> 01:21:19,847 Now you have to set me up here? 1046 01:21:39,446 --> 01:21:41,084 What's going on here? 1047 01:21:42,486 --> 01:21:43,885 This is my band. 1048 01:21:44,325 --> 01:21:46,123 And that's her music. 1049 01:22:42,043 --> 01:22:43,031 Well... 1050 01:22:43,603 --> 01:22:47,151 I've certainly seen some interesting attempts to gain admission... 1051 01:22:47,802 --> 01:22:49,360 but this is a first. 1052 01:22:50,842 --> 01:22:54,880 Excellent audition, Miss. Houston. Let's go discuss that scholarship. 1053 01:22:56,281 --> 01:22:57,715 I thought Brandon won. 1054 01:22:57,802 --> 01:23:00,998 No, Mr. Vandecamp was disqualified for plagiarism. 1055 01:23:01,081 --> 01:23:02,150 All right. 1056 01:23:04,282 --> 01:23:06,237 That's what I'm talking about, yo. 1057 01:23:10,241 --> 01:23:12,516 Oh, my God, you guys, that was amazing. 1058 01:23:13,081 --> 01:23:16,959 - Thank you so much. - Thank him. It was his idea. 1059 01:23:17,040 --> 01:23:18,029 Word. 1060 01:23:20,720 --> 01:23:24,190 - You planned all this? - With some friends. 1061 01:23:27,000 --> 01:23:28,228 Come here. 1062 01:23:32,679 --> 01:23:34,955 Oh, I believe this is yours. 1063 01:23:36,319 --> 01:23:37,435 You know... 1064 01:23:38,119 --> 01:23:41,998 Picardo is a brand of piccolo. 1065 01:23:42,919 --> 01:23:45,149 You really are an asshole sometimes... 1066 01:23:45,559 --> 01:23:46,548 Stiffy. 1067 01:26:59,628 --> 01:27:01,346 Man, change the channel, yo. 1068 01:27:01,548 --> 01:27:04,460 Hook a brother up with some mad beats. 1069 01:27:04,707 --> 01:27:06,300 Will you cut that out? 1070 01:27:06,788 --> 01:27:08,824 Your name is James Hi Ping Chong. 1071 01:27:08,948 --> 01:27:10,540 Your dad owns a Chinese restaurant. 1072 01:27:10,627 --> 01:27:13,141 You live in the suburbs. You ain't never gonna be a gangsta. 1073 01:27:13,747 --> 01:27:14,736 Damn! 1074 01:27:17,307 --> 01:27:18,376 That's cold, dawg. 1075 01:27:19,305 --> 01:27:25,857 Support us and become VIP member to remove all ads from www.OpenSubtitles.org