1 00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:12,074 Advertise your product or brand here contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today 2 00:01:53,851 --> 00:01:58,691 It's time for America's favorite game show: Pig in a Poke! 3 00:01:59,861 --> 00:02:03,031 Pig in a poke It pays to be a glutton 4 00:02:03,361 --> 00:02:06,831 Pig in a poke Oink! Oink! Oink! 5 00:02:06,991 --> 00:02:09,991 Pig in a poke You could win all or nothing 6 00:02:10,331 --> 00:02:13,501 "Pig in a poke Oink! Oink! " 7 00:02:14,541 --> 00:02:18,711 So, let's meet our current champions: The Griswalds. 8 00:02:19,421 --> 00:02:24,011 Here's the star of our show, Kent Winkdale. 9 00:02:24,721 --> 00:02:27,681 Clark, it's time for your big decision. 10 00:02:27,761 --> 00:02:31,561 Will you keep what's in the poke, or risk everything... 11 00:02:31,721 --> 00:02:33,891 ...and go for the big prize? 12 00:02:34,231 --> 00:02:37,361 Johnny, remind the folks what they've already won. 13 00:02:37,401 --> 00:02:40,731 The super-charged Honda 750 motorcycle! 14 00:02:41,231 --> 00:02:46,321 A dream kitchen with brand new major appliances! And for Clark... 15 00:02:46,411 --> 00:02:48,281 ...the king of the family... 16 00:02:48,371 --> 00:02:51,371 ...a ten-year supply of Regal Car Polish... 17 00:02:51,541 --> 00:02:54,121 ...the car wax of royalty! 18 00:02:54,411 --> 00:02:59,251 First, Clark, remind our audience who you are and what you do. 19 00:02:59,711 --> 00:03:04,591 I'm Clark W. Griswald. I'm in food additives, not preservatives. 20 00:03:04,921 --> 00:03:06,381 Not preservatives! 21 00:03:09,101 --> 00:03:10,431 What about the family? 22 00:03:10,681 --> 00:03:13,641 This is my wife, Ellen, my son, Rusty, and daughter, Audrey. 23 00:03:13,681 --> 00:03:14,771 Hello, Ellen. 24 00:03:17,941 --> 00:03:19,231 Hi, Rusty. 25 00:03:21,611 --> 00:03:22,731 Audrey. 26 00:03:35,791 --> 00:03:38,961 You've won some fantastic prizes. 27 00:03:39,631 --> 00:03:41,461 Do you want to keep them... 28 00:03:42,131 --> 00:03:45,261 ...or risk everything, and be a pig? 29 00:03:46,301 --> 00:03:47,931 Be a pig! 30 00:03:50,971 --> 00:03:54,811 Let's keep what we have. I love the Signore Cappuccino. 31 00:03:54,851 --> 00:03:57,351 Don't do it. Nobody ever wins the grand prize. 32 00:03:58,651 --> 00:04:00,311 We've decided. 33 00:04:01,061 --> 00:04:02,771 Oink, oink. We'll be pigs. 34 00:04:05,901 --> 00:04:07,651 So long, motorcycle. 35 00:04:08,491 --> 00:04:11,281 You're very brave. I wish you luck. 36 00:04:11,321 --> 00:04:15,451 Now, a fantastic surprise. Back, by popular demand... 37 00:04:15,831 --> 00:04:19,871 ...the all-time winningest family in the history of Pig in a Poke: 38 00:04:20,171 --> 00:04:21,501 The Froegers. 39 00:04:24,301 --> 00:04:27,471 The Froegers? No one's ever beaten the Froegers. 40 00:04:28,341 --> 00:04:30,801 Mr. Froeger, tell us about yourselves. 41 00:04:31,181 --> 00:04:34,311 I won my Nobel Prize in 1967. 42 00:04:34,681 --> 00:04:37,021 My wife won hers in 1970. 43 00:04:37,351 --> 00:04:40,351 Our son, Moe, has just been elected to the board of Microtech... 44 00:04:40,691 --> 00:04:42,811 ...a computer software corporation. 45 00:04:43,231 --> 00:04:49,401 Our daughter, Ruth, is the youngest female ever to be accepted at Harvard Law School. 46 00:04:50,701 --> 00:04:54,661 Good luck to all of you. Now, let's take a look at our categories. 47 00:04:55,031 --> 00:04:56,871 Pharmacology. 48 00:04:56,911 --> 00:05:00,751 American Explorers. Chronology of the Pharaohs. 49 00:05:01,081 --> 00:05:02,881 The Geography of the Brain... 50 00:05:03,381 --> 00:05:07,211 ...and History of Early Hungarian Cabinet Making. 51 00:05:07,421 --> 00:05:08,881 Not bad. 52 00:05:08,921 --> 00:05:12,391 Froegers, since you're the challengers, you get to pick the first category. 53 00:05:12,891 --> 00:05:16,011 The Hungarian one. Nobody knows anything about Hungarians. 54 00:05:16,391 --> 00:05:19,351 I don't know. Kent, we'd like The Geography of the Brain. 55 00:05:19,731 --> 00:05:21,351 The question is: 56 00:05:23,231 --> 00:05:26,271 What are the pyramidal tracts? 57 00:05:29,901 --> 00:05:32,321 Five seconds. 58 00:05:32,411 --> 00:05:36,411 The pyramidal tracts are a housing development outside of Cairo. 59 00:05:39,831 --> 00:05:41,001 Too bad. 60 00:05:44,921 --> 00:05:47,711 You're the champions if you answer correctly. 61 00:05:48,091 --> 00:05:50,511 The pyramidal tracts... 62 00:05:50,591 --> 00:05:54,261 ...are a complex of multi-synaptic lower motor neurons... 63 00:05:54,341 --> 00:05:58,061 ...which interconnect the basal ganglia with the reticular formation. 64 00:05:59,101 --> 00:06:03,141 You said, "Lower motor neurons." The answer is: Upper motor neurons. 65 00:06:03,601 --> 00:06:06,271 - Upper! Upper! - Nobody wins. 66 00:06:06,941 --> 00:06:10,071 - We're still in it. - Froegers, select another category. 67 00:06:10,691 --> 00:06:13,661 - Early Hungarian Cabinet Making. - American Explorers. 68 00:06:14,241 --> 00:06:16,121 American Explorers. Griswalds. 69 00:06:17,491 --> 00:06:20,411 In 1804, an expedition explored an area... 70 00:06:20,451 --> 00:06:23,711 ...from the Louisiana territory to the Pacific Coast. 71 00:06:24,461 --> 00:06:29,921 For the grand prize, what lieutenant led that expedition? 72 00:06:30,511 --> 00:06:33,011 - I give up. - Wait a minute, Dad. 73 00:06:33,091 --> 00:06:35,551 Quiet down! I think I got this one. 74 00:06:41,391 --> 00:06:42,561 Come on, Dad. 75 00:06:42,811 --> 00:06:44,811 Time's up. Do you have an answer? 76 00:06:46,101 --> 00:06:48,021 - Clark! - That's it! 77 00:06:48,061 --> 00:06:49,611 Clark, of Lewis and Clark. 78 00:06:50,151 --> 00:06:52,991 The Griswalds are our grand prize winners! 79 00:06:57,821 --> 00:07:01,661 No, that was a mistake! She doesn't know that. 80 00:07:01,911 --> 00:07:04,001 Come on out here! 81 00:07:18,891 --> 00:07:23,101 The Griswalds have just won a fabulous European vacation! 82 00:07:26,351 --> 00:07:29,111 We'll fly the whole family to London, England... 83 00:07:29,191 --> 00:07:34,571 ...to start a two-week vacation extravaganza you'll never forget. 84 00:07:35,031 --> 00:07:38,991 "On to Germany, where you'll enjoy a fine meal at Dieter's... 85 00:07:39,071 --> 00:07:43,081 "...and dance to the gay music of Esther and the Black Forest Girls." 86 00:07:44,201 --> 00:07:47,961 - This is going to be some vacation, kids. - Yeah, Dad. 87 00:07:48,371 --> 00:07:51,001 Rusty, give me a hand and set the table. 88 00:07:51,381 --> 00:07:53,511 Why can't Audrey do it? 89 00:07:53,881 --> 00:07:55,671 Because Audrey has company. 90 00:07:57,381 --> 00:07:59,641 - Rusty, come on! - Wait a minute. 91 00:08:01,891 --> 00:08:03,851 Russ, obey your mother. 92 00:08:04,721 --> 00:08:08,851 I can't stand the thought of being away from you for whole two weeks. 93 00:08:09,231 --> 00:08:10,861 It'll be like before we met. 94 00:08:11,231 --> 00:08:15,401 Before we met, my life was horrible and meaningless. Wasn't yours? 95 00:08:16,491 --> 00:08:17,821 Sort of. 96 00:08:21,491 --> 00:08:22,621 Let's light it up! 97 00:08:29,421 --> 00:08:31,881 Audrey, please eat something. 98 00:08:32,421 --> 00:08:34,551 Everybody, listen up. 99 00:08:34,921 --> 00:08:37,551 Let's look at the map and go over our schedule. 100 00:08:39,091 --> 00:08:42,261 The plane will fly us from Chicago to London. 101 00:08:42,601 --> 00:08:43,931 That's Madrid, Dad. 102 00:08:44,601 --> 00:08:48,731 You're right. This must be one of those old medieval maps. 103 00:08:50,021 --> 00:08:51,651 Dad, I made a decision. 104 00:08:52,111 --> 00:08:55,441 I can't leave Jack. Besides, the food in Europe is fattening. 105 00:08:55,781 --> 00:08:57,821 And I like her thin. She eats too much. 106 00:08:58,611 --> 00:09:03,451 Clark, why don't you and I go alone? It's obvious the kids don't even want to go. 107 00:09:03,781 --> 00:09:05,121 Of course they do. 108 00:09:05,451 --> 00:09:07,871 We're a family. We're going to Europe as a family. 109 00:09:08,041 --> 00:09:11,211 - Don't we have a say in this? - I think we should vote on it. 110 00:09:12,291 --> 00:09:16,631 I can be big about this. We'll be a democracy. Everybody votes. 111 00:09:17,461 --> 00:09:18,801 Who will be president? 112 00:09:19,131 --> 00:09:22,091 Let's vote on that. We'll have a secret ballot. 113 00:09:22,471 --> 00:09:24,391 Write down your choice... 114 00:09:25,391 --> 00:09:26,971 ...give it to your mother. 115 00:09:31,311 --> 00:09:35,271 This will be for the President of the Republic of Griswald. 116 00:09:37,981 --> 00:09:40,611 All right, that's one for Clark. 117 00:09:42,661 --> 00:09:44,121 One for Rusty. 118 00:09:46,661 --> 00:09:48,121 One for Jack. 119 00:09:51,211 --> 00:09:52,331 One for Clark. 120 00:09:52,671 --> 00:09:55,001 That's two for Clark. 121 00:09:55,501 --> 00:09:59,461 As President of the Griswald Republic, I move we go to Europe. 122 00:09:59,841 --> 00:10:01,471 Jack, you wait here. 123 00:10:09,681 --> 00:10:11,351 What are you doing? 124 00:10:11,681 --> 00:10:15,521 A little memento before we go away, I just got the kids. 125 00:10:15,731 --> 00:10:18,071 I don't want anyone to see me like this. 126 00:10:18,441 --> 00:10:20,491 No one will see you. 127 00:10:22,861 --> 00:10:25,821 Remember that song you did in college in that musical? 128 00:10:26,741 --> 00:10:30,451 No, I'm not going to do that. I won't do it. 129 00:10:30,541 --> 00:10:32,161 I'm going to erase this. 130 00:10:37,541 --> 00:10:39,921 Okay. Go over there. 131 00:10:43,381 --> 00:10:46,301 I'm ready. Wait a minute. Okay. 132 00:11:41,111 --> 00:11:42,571 Don't stop. 133 00:11:47,451 --> 00:11:49,781 Sexy. I love you. 134 00:12:06,971 --> 00:12:09,721 The Pig in a Poke itinerary is just great. 135 00:12:10,641 --> 00:12:14,431 It's down to the exact minute. We won't miss a thing. 136 00:12:15,641 --> 00:12:18,811 Why don't we forget the itinerary and play it by ear? 137 00:12:19,151 --> 00:12:20,771 Like normal people. 138 00:12:21,481 --> 00:12:23,941 We're not normal people. We're the Griswalds. 139 00:12:28,991 --> 00:12:31,161 I saved the big surprise for last. 140 00:12:31,571 --> 00:12:32,991 We're turning around? 141 00:12:33,491 --> 00:12:37,161 No, we're visiting my relatives in Germany. 142 00:12:37,501 --> 00:12:39,121 Not if we don't vote for it. 143 00:12:39,291 --> 00:12:41,841 - You'll vote for it. - Why should I? 144 00:12:42,501 --> 00:12:44,671 Because I raised your allowance. 145 00:12:45,841 --> 00:12:48,631 I think I'm going to like this democracy stuff. 146 00:12:50,891 --> 00:12:52,431 Something to drink? 147 00:12:53,721 --> 00:12:55,641 - No, thank you. - I'll have a Coke. 148 00:12:56,521 --> 00:12:58,141 Do you want that in the can? 149 00:12:59,521 --> 00:13:01,481 No, I'll have it right here. 150 00:13:06,691 --> 00:13:08,361 Push "French." 151 00:13:09,701 --> 00:13:11,951 - Give me a French word. - Souffle. 152 00:13:12,531 --> 00:13:15,871 Souffle. All right. Push "English." 153 00:13:16,701 --> 00:13:20,041 Instant translation. Souffle means... 154 00:13:21,371 --> 00:13:24,841 ..."Souffle." It's got to mean something else. 155 00:13:31,721 --> 00:13:34,511 The Lord and Lady Poncenby Smythe. 156 00:13:35,561 --> 00:13:39,181 The Lady Amelia Spicer and the Baron von Richtshofen. 157 00:13:44,731 --> 00:13:47,901 Mr. And Mrs. Clark and Ellen Griswald. 158 00:13:48,231 --> 00:13:49,901 He came. 159 00:13:53,911 --> 00:13:55,031 Wonderful. 160 00:13:56,831 --> 00:13:58,161 Hey, Chuck. 161 00:14:00,911 --> 00:14:02,251 Di. 162 00:14:07,211 --> 00:14:09,171 This is my wife, Ellen. 163 00:14:09,461 --> 00:14:11,341 Di. How are you? 164 00:14:11,591 --> 00:14:14,261 I do hope we could have the first dance. 165 00:14:14,761 --> 00:14:19,431 There you go again, Di. Listen, you know the only princess in my life is my wife. 166 00:14:19,931 --> 00:14:21,891 She gets the first dance. 167 00:14:23,691 --> 00:14:25,771 - Clark, wait. - Sorry. 168 00:14:58,351 --> 00:14:59,971 There's Rusty! 169 00:17:11,351 --> 00:17:14,021 "The hills are alive 170 00:17:14,941 --> 00:17:17,611 "With the sound of Griswald 171 00:17:19,401 --> 00:17:24,081 "This should spin around for a very long time 172 00:17:25,951 --> 00:17:28,291 "I'm feeling so high 173 00:17:28,411 --> 00:17:31,251 "That I just can't stand it 174 00:17:32,171 --> 00:17:35,171 "It's as though I've been here 175 00:17:36,131 --> 00:17:39,261 "For at least a week" 176 00:17:49,311 --> 00:17:51,601 The Royal lmperial Windsor Hotel. 177 00:17:59,151 --> 00:18:01,491 Want me to give you a hand with that? 178 00:18:04,571 --> 00:18:06,741 If you could just get that stuff in... 179 00:18:08,501 --> 00:18:11,831 Carry that. I'll get the luggage out. Rusty, we could use your help. 180 00:18:13,671 --> 00:18:15,631 I can get these bags. 181 00:18:16,341 --> 00:18:18,301 Sure I can't help? 182 00:18:22,011 --> 00:18:24,141 Ellen, do you have any money? 183 00:18:24,841 --> 00:18:26,811 - Would you pay? - No problem. 184 00:18:27,311 --> 00:18:30,521 Camembert cheese is also produced on a large scale... 185 00:18:30,771 --> 00:18:33,441 ...molded by the thousands in giant factories. 186 00:18:40,491 --> 00:18:41,691 Hello! 187 00:18:48,121 --> 00:18:52,461 Top of the evening. I'm Clark Griswald from the United States of America. 188 00:18:52,871 --> 00:18:55,331 I believe we have reservations for four. 189 00:19:00,381 --> 00:19:04,511 No, you're scuppered, mate. The place is full of macaroons. 190 00:19:05,051 --> 00:19:07,891 I could get on the dog and blow to my mate in Whitechapel. 191 00:19:08,391 --> 00:19:10,521 Dad, he's speaking English. 192 00:19:11,471 --> 00:19:12,811 I know. 193 00:19:13,731 --> 00:19:16,061 This is from the Pig in a Poke show. 194 00:19:16,151 --> 00:19:19,401 They said there'd be rooms for four and a rental car waiting for us. 195 00:19:19,731 --> 00:19:21,531 We're the grand prize winners. 196 00:19:21,571 --> 00:19:23,901 Oink, oink! We'll be pigs! 197 00:19:25,571 --> 00:19:28,281 Oh, the Yanks. Follow me. 198 00:19:31,241 --> 00:19:33,871 Is there anybody to help with the luggage? 199 00:19:35,331 --> 00:19:36,621 Mum! 200 00:19:39,591 --> 00:19:41,921 Kids, help me out. No, please sit. 201 00:19:41,961 --> 00:19:43,721 This is ridiculous. 202 00:19:45,261 --> 00:19:49,141 "Sixty-five rooms tastefully decorated, with private bathroom and shower... 203 00:19:49,221 --> 00:19:51,391 "...color television, radio and telephone. 204 00:19:51,471 --> 00:19:55,441 "Deluxe accommodations at the sumptuous Royal lmperial Windsor Arms... 205 00:19:56,101 --> 00:19:59,311 "...combines old-world charm and modem convenience." 206 00:20:00,521 --> 00:20:03,151 Clark, does this look like the room in the brochure? 207 00:20:03,231 --> 00:20:06,571 No, I think they shot this picture from another angle. 208 00:20:07,111 --> 00:20:09,121 It's quaint. I like it. 209 00:20:09,241 --> 00:20:12,201 It'll look better after I've had a hot bath. 210 00:20:15,961 --> 00:20:17,751 Well, the bed is nice and soft. 211 00:20:21,921 --> 00:20:25,921 - There's no bathroom. - Of course, there's a bathroom. 212 00:20:26,971 --> 00:20:29,301 Europeans go to the bathroom, don't they? 213 00:20:35,811 --> 00:20:37,141 Maybe they don't. 214 00:20:40,611 --> 00:20:43,781 Call the front desk. Something's wrong with this thing. 215 00:20:44,111 --> 00:20:46,441 We've only got four channels, and no MTV. 216 00:20:46,781 --> 00:20:48,611 That's all there are. 217 00:20:57,291 --> 00:21:00,461 Just think of it. Shopping on Bond Street. 218 00:21:00,631 --> 00:21:03,881 Bobbies. Fish and chips. Big Ben. 219 00:21:04,131 --> 00:21:07,631 Shopping on Carnaby Street. It's going to be so romantic. 220 00:21:34,661 --> 00:21:39,001 I have to warn you, I'm feeling very naughty tonight. 221 00:21:44,841 --> 00:21:46,051 Congratulations. 222 00:21:57,851 --> 00:21:59,181 What can I do for you? 223 00:21:59,231 --> 00:22:02,731 I want a wake-up call for 7 a.m., please. Good night. 224 00:22:11,031 --> 00:22:12,411 You're in bed, already. 225 00:22:12,491 --> 00:22:15,411 I left a wake-up call to get an early start in the morning. 226 00:22:27,131 --> 00:22:28,051 I love you. 227 00:22:29,211 --> 00:22:33,381 I've been waiting for this. I can't believe we're alone at last. 228 00:22:33,891 --> 00:22:35,221 Just you and me. 229 00:22:39,271 --> 00:22:40,771 I'm so horny. 230 00:22:44,401 --> 00:22:46,401 And these bubbles... 231 00:22:47,571 --> 00:22:49,071 ...make me feel so... 232 00:22:50,241 --> 00:22:51,901 I feel like... 233 00:22:52,491 --> 00:22:53,821 You know. 234 00:22:58,411 --> 00:23:00,411 When did you stop shaving your legs? 235 00:23:03,581 --> 00:23:06,421 Why don't you just jump in here with me? 236 00:23:19,761 --> 00:23:22,891 I think I made a mistake. Is my wife in here? 237 00:23:22,981 --> 00:23:23,941 No. 238 00:23:23,981 --> 00:23:26,981 I get confused with the numerous doors. 239 00:23:27,441 --> 00:23:29,441 - I guess this happens a lot. - No. 240 00:23:31,781 --> 00:23:34,451 - Could you unlock your legs from my leg? - No. 241 00:23:34,781 --> 00:23:37,121 My right leg is asleep. 242 00:23:38,121 --> 00:23:39,781 Oh, no. Please don't. 243 00:23:40,291 --> 00:23:41,951 It's very hot in here. 244 00:23:42,291 --> 00:23:43,621 It's hot, yeah. 245 00:23:46,171 --> 00:23:49,131 I got a mild case of herpes. I'll just get out. 246 00:23:49,791 --> 00:23:52,801 Let me just check. I've got a wake-up call. 247 00:23:54,971 --> 00:23:58,971 - You won't believe this. I was in the tub. - I've been looking for our room. 248 00:23:59,301 --> 00:24:03,811 - This guy came in with a toothpaste tube. - I went into this lady's room. 249 00:24:03,981 --> 00:24:06,141 - I don't know where our room is. - It's right here. 250 00:24:06,231 --> 00:24:08,481 They don't even put numbers on the doors. 251 00:24:10,321 --> 00:24:14,491 Here's our English transportation. Now we'll have some fun. 252 00:24:18,321 --> 00:24:20,781 - Where's the wheel? - Other side, Dad. 253 00:24:48,691 --> 00:24:51,191 You're driving on the wrong side of the road. 254 00:24:51,521 --> 00:24:54,861 I realize that, honey. I'm also on the wrong side of the car. 255 00:25:09,251 --> 00:25:12,541 - I'm sorry. - No trouble, my dear chap. 256 00:25:12,591 --> 00:25:16,091 I've had this bump for ages. Now I have an excuse to fix it. 257 00:25:17,221 --> 00:25:18,551 I'm fully covered. 258 00:25:19,221 --> 00:25:21,391 I should thank you. 259 00:25:27,641 --> 00:25:29,351 - Very sorry, again. - No problem. 260 00:25:32,561 --> 00:25:34,231 God, he was nice. 261 00:25:37,741 --> 00:25:39,571 It's not bad in England, huh? 262 00:25:40,071 --> 00:25:43,411 God, I must say, the English are certainly... 263 00:25:52,921 --> 00:25:57,261 We seem to have run into a bit of trouble. What rotten luck. 264 00:25:57,591 --> 00:26:00,431 I'm sorry. I'm trying to get back to our hotel. 265 00:26:00,761 --> 00:26:03,601 An American! Delighted to meet you. 266 00:26:03,931 --> 00:26:05,931 Are you enjoying our country? 267 00:26:06,261 --> 00:26:08,601 If I could get the driving straight... 268 00:26:08,931 --> 00:26:11,271 Don't worry about a little thing like this. 269 00:26:11,601 --> 00:26:14,771 I was driving on the right side of the road... 270 00:26:15,111 --> 00:26:17,111 ...which is the left side of the road. 271 00:26:18,111 --> 00:26:21,611 That's the whole problem. Let me get this for you. 272 00:26:21,951 --> 00:26:23,951 I'll put it back on for you. 273 00:26:24,281 --> 00:26:27,701 Keep that. Take it back to New York as a memento. 274 00:26:27,951 --> 00:26:30,211 Thank you very much. That's very kind of you. 275 00:26:30,291 --> 00:26:33,421 There's another one. Thank you. Good day. 276 00:26:45,551 --> 00:26:47,011 I got the hang of it now. 277 00:26:47,061 --> 00:26:49,141 Just stay on the right side... 278 00:26:51,811 --> 00:26:54,811 Oh, please, let me help you. 279 00:26:55,481 --> 00:26:59,441 No problem. No problem, squire. No harm done. 280 00:27:00,191 --> 00:27:03,361 - It doesn't hurt much. - I'll pay for the damages. 281 00:27:03,661 --> 00:27:06,321 Good heavens, no. No need for money. 282 00:27:07,831 --> 00:27:09,661 I'll be all right. 283 00:27:09,991 --> 00:27:12,831 Can I get you some help? Get you to a phone? 284 00:27:13,831 --> 00:27:16,001 Maybe he knows how to get to the hotel. 285 00:27:16,331 --> 00:27:21,011 I hate to bother you, but we're staying at the Royal lmperial Windsor Arms. 286 00:27:21,341 --> 00:27:24,181 Royal lmperial Windsor! Very nice hotel. 287 00:27:24,511 --> 00:27:26,511 It's a little small. 288 00:27:26,851 --> 00:27:30,851 Well, you go back the way you came, and you keep going to... 289 00:27:32,851 --> 00:27:35,351 You've got a bad cut. We better get you to a hospital. 290 00:27:35,521 --> 00:27:37,361 It's just a flesh wound. 291 00:27:37,691 --> 00:27:40,021 Nothing to write home about. 292 00:27:40,361 --> 00:27:43,191 - Did you say a left or a right? - Just a left. 293 00:27:43,861 --> 00:27:45,031 Maybe it's broken. 294 00:27:45,281 --> 00:27:48,201 It's just a leg. I have got another one. 295 00:27:48,871 --> 00:27:51,541 I'll just pop into the chemist's. 296 00:27:51,871 --> 00:27:55,541 Be right as rain tomorrow. The final isn't till Sunday. 297 00:27:56,881 --> 00:28:01,381 Sorry to bother you. You haven't seen a bike around here, have you? 298 00:28:01,711 --> 00:28:04,051 It's right here under the car. 299 00:28:04,881 --> 00:28:07,051 The tire isn't flat, so we're in good shape. 300 00:28:07,391 --> 00:28:11,471 Thanks for the directions. Sorry for what happened. You're all right? 301 00:28:11,561 --> 00:28:14,891 - Sure. - Drive carefully. Have a nice day. 302 00:28:19,561 --> 00:28:23,571 We just drive around this circle. It should be the second left. 303 00:28:23,901 --> 00:28:28,241 There's the hotel. Hey, look, there's Big Ben and there's Parliament. 304 00:28:32,411 --> 00:28:33,911 There it is! 305 00:28:34,251 --> 00:28:38,251 I know, I can't seem to get over to the left. I'll try next time. 306 00:28:38,331 --> 00:28:40,961 Sorry. We'll get out of this jam in a minute. 307 00:28:41,591 --> 00:28:44,591 Kids, Big Ben, Parliament, again. 308 00:28:51,181 --> 00:28:52,431 Kids. 309 00:28:52,761 --> 00:28:55,931 - We know. Big Ben. - Parliament. 310 00:29:00,611 --> 00:29:02,441 That son of a bitch! 311 00:29:03,271 --> 00:29:05,191 Look, kids. Forget it. 312 00:29:12,621 --> 00:29:15,791 It's amazing. I cannot get left! 313 00:29:17,961 --> 00:29:19,961 There's Big Ben, Parliament. 314 00:29:30,551 --> 00:29:35,851 "When it's time to relax One thing stands clear 315 00:29:36,681 --> 00:29:38,851 "Beer after beer 316 00:29:39,481 --> 00:29:41,651 "If you got the time 317 00:29:42,521 --> 00:29:44,521 "We got the beer" 318 00:29:46,151 --> 00:29:49,821 "Reach out, reach out and touch someone 319 00:29:50,571 --> 00:29:54,581 "Reach out, call up and just say, 'Hi"' 320 00:29:55,661 --> 00:29:57,161 What's the matter? 321 00:29:57,501 --> 00:30:01,331 I can't stand it. I'll never make it through two weeks. 322 00:30:01,501 --> 00:30:02,751 Two weeks is nothing. 323 00:30:02,831 --> 00:30:06,801 It's 14 times as long as yesterday, and yesterday lasted... 324 00:30:07,511 --> 00:30:09,171 ...an eternity. 325 00:30:10,011 --> 00:30:11,471 Why don't you call him? 326 00:30:11,681 --> 00:30:13,971 - Are you crazy? - What could happen? 327 00:30:14,051 --> 00:30:16,511 Dad could rip out my tongue, that's what. 328 00:30:17,351 --> 00:30:20,191 He wouldn't even notice if you kept it short. 329 00:30:20,851 --> 00:30:24,191 Okay, I'll just say hello and good-bye. Short. 330 00:30:25,691 --> 00:30:28,191 I wonder if anything good's on TV. 331 00:30:30,701 --> 00:30:33,031 Should I watch cheese or snow? 332 00:30:34,071 --> 00:30:36,031 - Hello? - Hello, Jack. 333 00:30:37,041 --> 00:30:39,541 Oh, God, Jack, I miss you so much. 334 00:30:40,001 --> 00:30:41,791 - Do you miss me? - Yes. 335 00:30:41,871 --> 00:30:43,211 - Really? - Yes. 336 00:30:43,541 --> 00:30:46,211 I miss you so much it hurts. 337 00:30:47,211 --> 00:30:48,961 - I got to go. - What? 338 00:30:49,051 --> 00:30:51,551 - I have to eat. - Your mom's calling you to dinner? 339 00:30:52,051 --> 00:30:53,551 Okay, I'll hold. 340 00:30:55,391 --> 00:30:59,221 - Can we stop? I'm hungry. - Yeah, Dad. Rusty's hungry. 341 00:30:59,351 --> 00:31:01,181 We've got a schedule to keep. 342 00:31:12,401 --> 00:31:15,741 That's it! That's the way I want my hair cut! 343 00:31:16,241 --> 00:31:18,581 You don't want to look like a rooster, do you? 344 00:31:18,911 --> 00:31:22,711 There's Buckingham Palace, where the Queen lives and works. 345 00:31:22,791 --> 00:31:24,421 Works? What does she do? 346 00:31:24,621 --> 00:31:26,581 She queens and vacuums. 347 00:31:32,761 --> 00:31:34,761 We'd like to check out, please. 348 00:31:35,761 --> 00:31:38,261 Yeah, Mr. Greaseball. 349 00:31:38,601 --> 00:31:40,771 Let's tally up your bill. 350 00:31:41,101 --> 00:31:43,771 Will we really have time to see Stonehenge? 351 00:31:44,101 --> 00:31:47,021 No problem. I've calculated the driving time. 352 00:31:47,271 --> 00:31:49,691 If we skip lunch, we'll make the plane to Paris. 353 00:31:49,771 --> 00:31:52,281 I'm sick of English food. I feel like a blimp. 354 00:31:52,611 --> 00:31:53,951 You look fine. 355 00:31:54,281 --> 00:31:57,951 Don't I just sign? Pig in a Poke takes care of this. 356 00:31:58,281 --> 00:32:02,791 - It does not include the telephone bill. - We just made a couple of local calls. 357 00:32:05,291 --> 00:32:06,961 That will be... 358 00:32:08,461 --> 00:32:10,301 ...$253 American. 359 00:32:10,631 --> 00:32:13,171 - You're mistaken. - How could that be? 360 00:32:16,801 --> 00:32:18,641 Who the hell called Chicago? 361 00:32:27,481 --> 00:32:31,441 Audrey, your father didn't really mean what he said. 362 00:32:31,521 --> 00:32:32,821 Yes, he did. 363 00:32:32,861 --> 00:32:35,491 Not really, honey. He has nothing against Jack. 364 00:32:36,151 --> 00:32:39,821 He's not really going to cut off his balls. Are you, Clark? 365 00:32:44,001 --> 00:32:45,331 Okay, I won't. 366 00:32:46,161 --> 00:32:48,671 Let's relax and enjoy the countryside. 367 00:32:50,041 --> 00:32:53,761 This country is eons old, kids. That's centuries, to you and me. 368 00:32:54,591 --> 00:32:55,921 Charming, isn't it? 369 00:32:56,671 --> 00:32:58,341 It looks like Massachusetts. 370 00:32:58,591 --> 00:33:03,261 It stands to reason. The English settled Massachusetts. The old pilgrims. 371 00:33:04,851 --> 00:33:07,351 Plymouth Rock. That's where it started. 372 00:33:07,691 --> 00:33:10,361 And speaking of rocks... 373 00:33:11,861 --> 00:33:14,691 See that? That's Stonehenge. Fantastic. 374 00:33:23,201 --> 00:33:24,701 What the hell is this? 375 00:33:25,041 --> 00:33:29,371 Nobody knows for sure. Some think it's a calendar or an astronomer's tool. 376 00:33:29,711 --> 00:33:32,211 Others think it was built by men from outer space. 377 00:33:32,541 --> 00:33:37,051 The consensus is that it's an ancient timepiece built by the Druids. 378 00:33:37,381 --> 00:33:39,261 Whatever, it's been here a long time. 379 00:33:39,341 --> 00:33:41,511 Since 2,000 years before Christ. 380 00:33:43,561 --> 00:33:45,561 It's bound to be here 1,000 more. 381 00:33:49,061 --> 00:33:52,901 Stand over there. Act like you're setting your watch. 382 00:33:53,901 --> 00:33:57,071 This must be where they sacrificed virgins. 383 00:33:58,741 --> 00:34:00,411 God, I miss Jack. 384 00:34:00,911 --> 00:34:03,581 We've got to go if we want to catch that plane. 385 00:34:04,781 --> 00:34:05,951 You're right. 386 00:34:07,291 --> 00:34:08,461 Let's go, Russ! 387 00:34:09,711 --> 00:34:10,871 Come on! 388 00:34:16,751 --> 00:34:18,591 Take a last look, kids... 389 00:34:19,261 --> 00:34:22,341 ...at one of man's most curious creations. 390 00:34:24,261 --> 00:34:27,221 Built to stand the test of time and the elements. 391 00:34:27,601 --> 00:34:30,101 War. You name it. 392 00:34:31,641 --> 00:34:34,861 A thing of glory for a million future generations to see. 393 00:34:36,271 --> 00:34:37,941 And we were here. 394 00:35:06,181 --> 00:35:09,521 Gay Paris. The City of Lights. 395 00:35:10,811 --> 00:35:15,481 This is the famous Left Bank. Can you guess what's on the other side? 396 00:35:15,811 --> 00:35:17,481 The Bank of America. 397 00:35:23,661 --> 00:35:26,321 Everybody, get closer to the fountain. 398 00:35:26,661 --> 00:35:29,911 If we get any closer, we'll get all wet. 399 00:35:30,161 --> 00:35:32,251 It'll be a good shot. 400 00:35:32,501 --> 00:35:36,001 The Griswalds in front of a fountain. Major entertainment. 401 00:35:36,331 --> 00:35:38,671 Russ, get in the middle. 402 00:35:39,841 --> 00:35:43,171 Let me take it. You haven't been in any of them. 403 00:35:44,511 --> 00:35:46,341 I got a good idea. 404 00:35:46,551 --> 00:35:48,261 Monsieur, excusez-moi. 405 00:35:49,181 --> 00:35:51,561 Clark Griswald. United States of America. 406 00:35:52,351 --> 00:35:54,941 My family and I. Would you take a picture of us? 407 00:35:55,021 --> 00:35:56,351 Je ne comprends pas. 408 00:35:56,861 --> 00:35:58,861 Could you photograph us? 409 00:36:01,731 --> 00:36:03,401 - Oui, oui. - Merci. 410 00:36:08,661 --> 00:36:10,661 - Le bouton. - Poussez. 411 00:36:11,241 --> 00:36:13,201 Okay, Russ, get over here. 412 00:36:22,631 --> 00:36:24,131 Fromage! 413 00:36:25,471 --> 00:36:26,971 Non fromage, cheese! 414 00:36:30,561 --> 00:36:34,061 Une idee! Enlevez les chaussures et dans la fontaine. 415 00:36:34,431 --> 00:36:36,441 Merveilleux, oui! Les shoes, dans I'eau, vous. 416 00:36:37,401 --> 00:36:40,571 Yeah! Let's take off our shoes and get in the water. 417 00:36:41,071 --> 00:36:43,231 Yeah, okay. It's fun. 418 00:36:43,781 --> 00:36:44,611 Tres bien! 419 00:36:58,881 --> 00:36:59,881 Cold! 420 00:37:02,631 --> 00:37:04,591 Parfait! Impeccable. 421 00:37:12,601 --> 00:37:17,271 Clark, there isn't anything on that tape that shouldn't be there, is there? 422 00:37:17,601 --> 00:37:19,061 They took my camera! 423 00:37:19,941 --> 00:37:24,611 There isn't anything on that tape that shouldn't be there? Remember? 424 00:37:24,861 --> 00:37:27,111 That's gone, right? You erased it? 425 00:37:27,451 --> 00:37:29,201 Yeah, I erased it. 426 00:37:30,621 --> 00:37:32,951 We'll check in and come back for the cases. 427 00:37:42,671 --> 00:37:45,171 Here we are, kids. Chez Griswald. 428 00:37:47,381 --> 00:37:49,761 We have a reservation for the honeymoon suite. 429 00:37:49,841 --> 00:37:51,971 Mr. And Mrs. Garland. 430 00:37:56,311 --> 00:37:58,981 Clark, look. They must be honeymooners. 431 00:37:59,101 --> 00:38:00,941 Either that or they're Siamese twins. 432 00:38:01,481 --> 00:38:03,481 That's how Jack kisses. 433 00:38:07,321 --> 00:38:08,821 Are you from America? 434 00:38:09,151 --> 00:38:10,361 We are from Chicago. 435 00:38:10,411 --> 00:38:12,411 Chicago. We're from Akron. 436 00:38:12,741 --> 00:38:17,161 We're the Griswalds. I'm Clark, and this is my wife, Ellen. 437 00:38:17,291 --> 00:38:19,961 And my daughters, Audrey and Rusty. 438 00:38:22,501 --> 00:38:25,841 You're in Room 714. And please hurry. 439 00:38:29,011 --> 00:38:31,511 I guess it's true. Paris is for lovers. 440 00:38:32,681 --> 00:38:34,011 May I help you? 441 00:38:34,261 --> 00:38:38,021 We're the Griswalds. We have a reservation for two chambres. 442 00:38:38,351 --> 00:38:41,691 We're the grand prize Pig in a Poke winners. Oink, oink. 443 00:38:42,441 --> 00:38:44,521 - May I see your passports? - Of course. 444 00:38:46,361 --> 00:38:48,191 I guess I sign this. 445 00:38:49,191 --> 00:38:52,701 I sign "Griswald" first, right? No, I put "Clark." 446 00:38:53,031 --> 00:38:54,871 I put "Clark." 447 00:38:55,531 --> 00:38:57,701 We don't really speak French. 448 00:39:05,041 --> 00:39:06,881 This is our first day. 449 00:39:15,391 --> 00:39:18,561 What do you think? C'est magnifique, huh? 450 00:39:19,471 --> 00:39:21,061 I'll go get the kids. 451 00:39:21,731 --> 00:39:24,561 Good idea. We'll get a move on. 452 00:39:37,331 --> 00:39:40,081 - Where's Dad? - I'm right here. 453 00:39:41,251 --> 00:39:43,581 Just looking for the Bible. There it is. 454 00:39:44,251 --> 00:39:46,581 Everybody ready? We got a schedule to keep. 455 00:39:46,921 --> 00:39:49,091 I vote we don't see any more museums. 456 00:39:49,421 --> 00:39:51,761 I vote we don't get anything else to eat. 457 00:39:52,011 --> 00:39:54,591 What's this? Do I detect a note of dissension? 458 00:39:54,931 --> 00:39:57,101 Yeah, Dad. Paris sucks! 459 00:39:57,431 --> 00:39:58,761 Everyone's so rude. 460 00:39:59,101 --> 00:40:03,021 - Come on, we're the visitors here. - This isn't Wally World, it's a country. 461 00:40:03,941 --> 00:40:06,601 We're the ambassadors of America here. 462 00:40:06,941 --> 00:40:09,941 To be accepted, we have to fit in, speak the language... 463 00:40:10,281 --> 00:40:13,651 ...wear French clothes. That's why I got us all berets. 464 00:40:21,491 --> 00:40:23,251 Come on, Dad. 465 00:40:23,791 --> 00:40:25,291 This is really rank. 466 00:40:26,291 --> 00:40:28,501 Come on now, Russ. Loosen up. 467 00:40:29,791 --> 00:40:31,751 You don't want to look like a tourist. 468 00:40:32,631 --> 00:40:35,301 All the French wear these. It's the national hat. 469 00:40:37,471 --> 00:40:42,141 I won't wear it. It looks stupid. No girl will want to talk to me. 470 00:40:42,811 --> 00:40:45,141 Then I guess they'll all talk to me. 471 00:40:45,811 --> 00:40:47,481 I vote for berets. 472 00:40:47,811 --> 00:40:49,061 I second the motion. 473 00:40:49,481 --> 00:40:50,821 Berets. 474 00:40:51,151 --> 00:40:53,321 That's three-to-one. You lose, fellow. 475 00:41:02,741 --> 00:41:07,421 France is world famous for its cuisine, so anything will be great. 476 00:41:07,751 --> 00:41:09,251 Order what you want. 477 00:41:09,921 --> 00:41:11,211 Garcon. 478 00:41:15,171 --> 00:41:18,641 Nous voulons commander a dejeuner. 479 00:41:28,771 --> 00:41:34,361 Les enfants desire hamburger et frites. 480 00:41:39,951 --> 00:41:42,621 Coca-Cola for the les enfants. 481 00:41:47,661 --> 00:41:48,831 Votre meilleur vin. 482 00:41:58,421 --> 00:42:00,391 You want the souffle? 483 00:42:01,641 --> 00:42:06,311 My femme would like to commander the souffle fromage. 484 00:42:06,641 --> 00:42:09,351 Et moi, I'll have the veau, the veal. 485 00:42:14,651 --> 00:42:15,941 Good choice. 486 00:42:18,241 --> 00:42:19,201 Du brie. 487 00:42:22,491 --> 00:42:24,491 Just a little brie, yeah. 488 00:42:25,491 --> 00:42:27,831 We'll get that later. Merci beaucoup. 489 00:42:30,001 --> 00:42:33,211 Okay, just a little bit. That's about it. 490 00:42:35,001 --> 00:42:37,961 Where would you find a waiter like that in the United States? 491 00:42:38,171 --> 00:42:42,721 Honey, speak the language, they're going to be nice. Just try. 492 00:43:04,701 --> 00:43:07,541 There she is, kids. The Eiffel Tower. 493 00:43:07,871 --> 00:43:10,541 921 feet of historic landmark. 494 00:43:10,871 --> 00:43:13,211 That's more than an acre to us, Russ. 495 00:43:29,431 --> 00:43:31,891 - Let's go to the top, Dad. - Yeah. Let's go. 496 00:43:38,071 --> 00:43:39,401 It's magnificent. 497 00:43:43,741 --> 00:43:45,321 It's breathtaking. 498 00:43:49,291 --> 00:43:51,961 I'm glad we decided to be pigs. 499 00:43:54,581 --> 00:43:55,921 Thank your father. 500 00:43:56,211 --> 00:43:58,341 Thanks, Dad. 501 00:44:00,421 --> 00:44:02,591 It's so beautiful, I feel so... 502 00:44:03,591 --> 00:44:06,931 I feel my juices are just... It makes me so... 503 00:44:07,761 --> 00:44:10,101 I want to write. I want to paint. 504 00:44:10,431 --> 00:44:13,101 I want to sculpt something massive. 505 00:44:13,431 --> 00:44:15,441 I've got a creative urge to... 506 00:44:17,271 --> 00:44:19,611 I wonder if there's a men's room around here? 507 00:44:24,111 --> 00:44:25,611 Look at those things. 508 00:44:25,951 --> 00:44:29,451 - Let's get our picture taken. - No, they're silly. 509 00:44:29,781 --> 00:44:32,541 - I'll buy one for Jack. - Okay. 510 00:45:13,831 --> 00:45:15,161 Rusty. 511 00:45:27,591 --> 00:45:29,301 Russ, what's wrong? 512 00:45:31,011 --> 00:45:34,561 I feel like an idiot because of this stupid hat you made me wear. 513 00:45:36,851 --> 00:45:38,521 I want to talk to you. 514 00:45:40,191 --> 00:45:44,191 Two things. First, you're never an idiot. You're a Griswald. 515 00:45:44,441 --> 00:45:45,781 Understand that? 516 00:45:49,491 --> 00:45:51,901 Second, you know I'd never do anything to injure you. 517 00:45:52,201 --> 00:45:55,201 You know I'd never do anything to hurt my opinion of myself. 518 00:45:56,831 --> 00:46:00,331 If the beret bothers you, it bothers me. If it upsets you, it upsets me. 519 00:46:14,091 --> 00:46:16,551 How did you enjoy shopping today? 520 00:46:17,391 --> 00:46:19,561 Wait until you see what I got. 521 00:46:21,561 --> 00:46:24,731 I got it because the saleslady said it's one of a kind. 522 00:46:25,101 --> 00:46:28,401 I'll never find another like it. I know it's silly... 523 00:46:28,901 --> 00:46:30,941 ...but I only got it for you. 524 00:46:32,901 --> 00:46:37,031 Honey, I wouldn't want the kids to see me in something like this. 525 00:46:38,951 --> 00:46:43,411 Sparky, it's our first night in Paris. Let's do something romantic. 526 00:46:43,751 --> 00:46:46,921 - I'm taking you out to dinner. - "Out"? 527 00:46:47,791 --> 00:46:49,961 I felt like staying in. 528 00:46:50,251 --> 00:46:53,761 I thought it would be really nice to be alone. 529 00:46:58,101 --> 00:47:00,471 I'd never go anywhere without you. 530 00:47:00,771 --> 00:47:04,441 Cheer up. I promised you a night on the town. 531 00:47:04,521 --> 00:47:06,851 We'll see some French culture. You'll love it. 532 00:47:44,931 --> 00:47:47,101 Down with the feet, hip distance apart... 533 00:47:47,141 --> 00:47:49,691 ...stomachs pulled in, buttocks tight. 534 00:47:50,311 --> 00:47:52,151 Let's start with head rolls. 535 00:47:52,361 --> 00:47:56,031 To the right and back and left and forward. 536 00:48:08,501 --> 00:48:10,041 Isn't this great? 537 00:48:11,671 --> 00:48:14,711 They've done this for eons in France. This is real culture. 538 00:48:15,671 --> 00:48:19,551 Exhale and raise your arms over your head. Reach with the right... 539 00:48:20,051 --> 00:48:22,721 Clark, could I have the coat check? 540 00:48:23,011 --> 00:48:26,391 I think I've had enough French culture for one evening. 541 00:48:31,811 --> 00:48:34,031 - Look. - I am looking. 542 00:48:34,361 --> 00:48:35,741 Back there. 543 00:48:39,201 --> 00:48:43,241 - It's just a hooker. They're everywhere. - Look who she is with. 544 00:48:58,881 --> 00:49:00,681 Russell Griswald. 545 00:49:01,591 --> 00:49:03,641 Oink, oink, my good man. 546 00:49:04,391 --> 00:49:06,431 - How did you get in? - I paid. 547 00:49:07,021 --> 00:49:09,481 - I'm surprised at you. - I'm surprised at you, Dad. 548 00:49:09,521 --> 00:49:10,901 Don't talk back. 549 00:49:10,941 --> 00:49:13,441 - Who was that cheap slut? - Cherie's not a slut. 550 00:49:13,561 --> 00:49:15,151 I'm disappointed in you. 551 00:49:15,401 --> 00:49:17,741 Who said, "When in Rome, do as the Romans do"? 552 00:49:17,941 --> 00:49:20,911 I said Rome, not Paris. This is Paris, and you're drunk. 553 00:49:28,501 --> 00:49:30,161 Hold it! 554 00:49:57,111 --> 00:49:58,481 Let me have it! 555 00:49:58,611 --> 00:50:00,441 Today is my turn. 556 00:50:00,781 --> 00:50:02,451 - Give them to me. - No! 557 00:50:06,491 --> 00:50:08,291 Look what you did to them. 558 00:50:08,621 --> 00:50:13,121 They're mine! How many times do I have to tell you that? 559 00:50:24,591 --> 00:50:27,261 Will you slow down? The kids are exhausted. 560 00:50:27,511 --> 00:50:31,231 It closes in 15 minutes. There are 100,000 works of art to see. 561 00:50:34,981 --> 00:50:38,151 Great. Are you happy, Dad? She's dead. 562 00:51:04,881 --> 00:51:06,841 I'm proud of you guys. 563 00:51:07,181 --> 00:51:10,601 We've seen everything in Paris, and we're on schedule. 564 00:51:11,351 --> 00:51:14,391 Can't we slow down a little bit? I'm exhausted. 565 00:51:14,691 --> 00:51:17,521 We'll have a relaxing time with my relatives in Germany. 566 00:51:25,701 --> 00:51:27,201 Enjoying Paris? 567 00:51:28,701 --> 00:51:30,951 Have you seen the Louvre yet? 568 00:51:31,871 --> 00:51:33,201 Not yet. 569 00:51:33,541 --> 00:51:35,211 The Left Bank is charming. 570 00:51:35,921 --> 00:51:37,581 We plan to go there. 571 00:51:37,961 --> 00:51:41,301 - Been up the Eiffel Tower yet? - No, but it's on our list. 572 00:51:42,921 --> 00:51:44,551 Have a good time. 573 00:51:45,931 --> 00:51:49,891 What a waste. We've seen 10 times as much as they have. 574 00:51:53,721 --> 00:51:55,941 Hi, sweetie. You want some breakfast? 575 00:51:56,391 --> 00:51:58,101 I'm not hungry. 576 00:51:59,401 --> 00:52:02,071 He's got his hands on her tits right at the table. 577 00:52:02,441 --> 00:52:04,241 Stop staring. 578 00:52:04,571 --> 00:52:09,071 European standards of public behavior are different than ours. 579 00:52:09,371 --> 00:52:11,031 But they're from Akron. 580 00:52:13,741 --> 00:52:16,251 Audrey, I've missed the shit out of you. 581 00:52:16,621 --> 00:52:18,921 Luckily, Debbie came by to cheer me up. 582 00:52:19,081 --> 00:52:22,291 - That bitch! - Something the matter, Audrey? 583 00:52:24,961 --> 00:52:27,131 It's time we asked ourselves this question: 584 00:52:27,431 --> 00:52:31,101 Is this relationship strong enough for us to consider seeing other people? 585 00:52:31,431 --> 00:52:33,101 I think it is. 586 00:52:34,101 --> 00:52:38,141 Pass the croissants, please. And the butter and jelly. 587 00:52:38,941 --> 00:52:40,811 I'm glad your appetite's back. 588 00:52:40,861 --> 00:52:43,021 Who have I got to be thin for? 589 00:52:50,321 --> 00:52:51,821 He's going to pork her. 590 00:52:53,121 --> 00:52:55,491 He isn't going to pork her. Now eat. 591 00:52:55,791 --> 00:52:56,911 I think he is. 592 00:52:58,041 --> 00:53:00,251 He may pork her. Just eat, okay? 593 00:53:43,541 --> 00:53:45,341 There it is, kids. 594 00:53:46,051 --> 00:53:47,591 My motherland. 595 00:53:49,381 --> 00:53:51,681 Dad, Grandma's from Chicago. 596 00:53:52,011 --> 00:53:53,051 Shut up, Russ. 597 00:54:03,691 --> 00:54:06,861 I can't wait to meet our relatives, in person. 598 00:54:09,241 --> 00:54:10,281 Dipplestrabe. 599 00:54:11,031 --> 00:54:12,701 What are we looking for? 600 00:54:12,991 --> 00:54:15,321 - Sechs. - That will do, Audrey. 601 00:54:15,531 --> 00:54:17,621 That's German for "six." 602 00:54:19,411 --> 00:54:20,711 Is that true? 603 00:54:39,721 --> 00:54:42,061 My family and I are looking for sechs. 604 00:54:45,231 --> 00:54:46,771 There's number six. 605 00:54:57,781 --> 00:55:00,451 Fritz, Clark Griswald. Good to see you. 606 00:55:00,751 --> 00:55:03,621 Remember Ellen from her letters? There she is. 607 00:55:03,911 --> 00:55:08,421 And Rusty and Audrey. They've gotten bigger since the pictures. 608 00:55:08,541 --> 00:55:12,211 Sorry we're late. I went to the wrong door. Thanks for the invitation. 609 00:55:22,101 --> 00:55:25,811 This must be the German dining room. Isn't it nice? 610 00:55:26,601 --> 00:55:29,321 Clark, it's just as I imagined. 611 00:55:30,481 --> 00:55:32,071 It's so quaint. 612 00:55:32,191 --> 00:55:34,651 Yeah, maximum quaintness. 613 00:55:35,951 --> 00:55:38,821 You must be Helga. We made it. 614 00:55:39,331 --> 00:55:42,121 You know Ellen, my wife, and Rusty and Audrey. 615 00:55:45,461 --> 00:55:48,331 Let me help you in the kitchen. Come on, kids. 616 00:55:48,631 --> 00:55:51,131 Go help in the kitchen. Help Helga out. 617 00:55:52,301 --> 00:55:55,051 So, Fritz, how you been? 618 00:55:55,171 --> 00:55:56,971 Long time never seen. 619 00:56:15,861 --> 00:56:19,411 Here's your cousin Al. He's a hotshot lawyer. 620 00:56:19,531 --> 00:56:22,031 They'll probably get him on tax evasion. 621 00:56:22,121 --> 00:56:23,741 Here's the baby. 622 00:56:24,201 --> 00:56:27,671 You don't believe that cock-and-bull story about the baby being premature? 623 00:56:29,631 --> 00:56:31,091 I didn't think so. 624 00:56:32,171 --> 00:56:36,511 When me and Jack got together, we'd been seeing other people. 625 00:56:36,881 --> 00:56:40,591 But this is different, because Debbie is my best friend, don't you think? 626 00:56:41,351 --> 00:56:44,021 God, it's so good to have someone to talk to. 627 00:56:44,351 --> 00:56:48,891 I tell my parents stuff but they don't seem to know what I'm talking about. 628 00:56:49,561 --> 00:56:52,151 - What are you talking about? - You see? 629 00:56:55,231 --> 00:56:56,941 God, I miss Jack. 630 00:57:07,961 --> 00:57:11,961 I was just thinking. Blood really is thicker than water. 631 00:57:14,381 --> 00:57:17,551 It's amazing how family ties break through language barriers. 632 00:57:18,671 --> 00:57:20,891 This has been my favorite part of the trip. 633 00:57:26,971 --> 00:57:29,601 Dad, look. Bedpans. 634 00:57:31,981 --> 00:57:34,821 You've been so sweet. Here's our address. 635 00:57:35,151 --> 00:57:38,321 When you come to Chicago, come stay with us. 636 00:57:42,161 --> 00:57:44,661 Thanks for the marvelous conversation. 637 00:57:46,371 --> 00:57:47,951 We'll write. 638 00:58:07,061 --> 00:58:08,851 A festival. 639 00:58:09,481 --> 00:58:12,021 It looks like fun. Come on, kids. 640 00:59:04,411 --> 00:59:07,281 - What's your name? - Claudia. And yours? 641 00:59:07,911 --> 00:59:09,621 - I'm Rusty. - Hello. 642 00:59:15,171 --> 00:59:16,831 Do you ever get to leave here? 643 00:59:22,921 --> 00:59:25,131 What's so funny? This is great, isn't it? 644 00:59:25,891 --> 00:59:27,091 I love these. 645 00:59:27,181 --> 00:59:29,471 Who wants bratwurst, mustard and relish? 646 00:59:54,461 --> 00:59:56,121 Holy shit! 647 00:59:56,711 --> 00:59:59,091 Hey, you! Come on! 648 00:59:59,631 --> 01:00:03,051 Very good. We need one more. A big strong man. 649 01:00:04,801 --> 01:00:07,971 Hey, you! Come on! Come on, don't be afraid. 650 01:00:22,021 --> 01:00:23,571 I don't know if I can do that. 651 01:00:23,691 --> 01:00:25,651 Just follow the others. 652 01:00:45,721 --> 01:00:46,921 Isn't he great? 653 01:02:53,841 --> 01:02:56,551 - Those bells haven't rung in years. - What does it mean? 654 01:02:56,601 --> 01:02:58,561 They're going to hang somebody! 655 01:02:59,971 --> 01:03:01,311 Dad. 656 01:03:14,361 --> 01:03:15,161 Hurry up! 657 01:04:01,701 --> 01:04:02,701 Oh, shit. 658 01:04:07,171 --> 01:04:09,881 - It's too narrow! - There's plenty of room. 659 01:04:10,541 --> 01:04:11,711 I know this car. 660 01:04:15,721 --> 01:04:18,221 Get out! There goes the paint job. 661 01:04:59,301 --> 01:05:01,011 Why the sour puss? 662 01:05:02,301 --> 01:05:05,980 You ruined what could have been the best day of my life. 663 01:05:05,981 --> 01:05:09,851 What are you complaining about? I lost my boyfriend thanks to this vacation. 664 01:05:10,231 --> 01:05:14,031 - I vote we stop talking about Jack. - I vote for that. 665 01:05:14,281 --> 01:05:17,031 I vote we don't talk about schedules anymore. 666 01:05:17,151 --> 01:05:18,111 Me, too. 667 01:05:18,151 --> 01:05:19,361 I'm for that. 668 01:05:19,861 --> 01:05:24,291 I vote we don't talk at all until we get to Rome and everybody calms down. 669 01:05:24,991 --> 01:05:27,961 Maybe then we can act like mature human beings. 670 01:07:33,251 --> 01:07:37,081 Clark, I thought we'd talk. What are we doing? 671 01:07:37,421 --> 01:07:42,091 We're going to a travelers checks place to get our money refunded. 672 01:07:42,171 --> 01:07:44,471 We'll rent a new car, buy some clothes... 673 01:07:44,761 --> 01:07:48,301 ...and finish the best goddamn vacation of our lives. 674 01:07:48,551 --> 01:07:49,761 Let's go. 675 01:07:53,231 --> 01:07:55,481 I think Dad's lost all sense of reality. 676 01:08:05,451 --> 01:08:07,371 Let's get out of here. 677 01:08:08,321 --> 01:08:11,491 What are we going to do with him? Kill him? 678 01:08:11,991 --> 01:08:14,291 Don't be stupid. We never kill anyone. 679 01:08:14,661 --> 01:08:16,251 Then, what do we do? 680 01:08:18,831 --> 01:08:20,841 I've got a better idea. 681 01:08:21,001 --> 01:08:22,801 We can hold him for ransom. 682 01:08:23,711 --> 01:08:25,301 He must be worth something. 683 01:08:28,471 --> 01:08:31,471 Clark! I think this is something historical. 684 01:08:31,811 --> 01:08:34,181 It looks real old, Dad. 685 01:08:35,851 --> 01:08:38,101 That's great. We'll see it later. 686 01:08:38,151 --> 01:08:40,651 Only four more miles. Let's go. 687 01:08:43,481 --> 01:08:47,491 What we need now is a dupe. Someone above suspicion... 688 01:08:47,991 --> 01:08:50,451 ...who will believe anything you tell him. 689 01:08:51,531 --> 01:08:53,241 A real idiot. 690 01:08:53,331 --> 01:08:55,001 Anybody here? 691 01:08:56,501 --> 01:08:59,671 We have no proof we lost the travelers checks. 692 01:08:59,791 --> 01:09:01,591 We left the stubs in the suitcase. 693 01:09:04,551 --> 01:09:05,721 Can I help you? 694 01:09:06,011 --> 01:09:09,341 I'm Clark W. Griswald. We're the grand prize Pig in a Poke winners. 695 01:09:10,301 --> 01:09:15,561 We're in a bind. We lost our luggage, a videotape camera, rented car... 696 01:09:15,641 --> 01:09:19,851 ...and $1,000 in cash. So, I'm just here to get my money back. 697 01:09:21,561 --> 01:09:24,071 I certainly hate to see our customers inconvenienced. 698 01:09:32,621 --> 01:09:35,791 - Name? - Clark W. Griswald. 699 01:09:40,121 --> 01:09:41,791 Ellen Griswald. 700 01:09:46,551 --> 01:09:49,721 These are our children, Rusty and Audrey. 701 01:09:49,881 --> 01:09:51,681 Come over here. Show yourselves. 702 01:09:56,931 --> 01:09:58,391 Here we are. 703 01:10:04,611 --> 01:10:08,571 Excuse me. We lost only $1,000. This is $3,000. 704 01:10:08,781 --> 01:10:10,611 That's to make up for your trouble. 705 01:10:13,121 --> 01:10:15,121 I lost about $200. 706 01:10:19,121 --> 01:10:21,581 Stay quiet. We'll get you out later. 707 01:10:23,921 --> 01:10:28,091 Unfortunately, we somehow misplaced the key to the trunk. 708 01:10:28,591 --> 01:10:32,341 If you tell me where you're staying, we'll send the key there. 709 01:10:33,091 --> 01:10:35,301 At what hotel are we staying? 710 01:10:35,551 --> 01:10:37,521 - The Nazionale. - Very nice. 711 01:10:38,771 --> 01:10:41,141 I didn't know you rented cars. 712 01:10:45,441 --> 01:10:47,731 I'll see you, then. 713 01:10:49,651 --> 01:10:51,781 Let's see some Roman ruins. 714 01:10:52,151 --> 01:10:55,831 We've been in these clothes for ages. Let's go shopping. 715 01:10:56,241 --> 01:10:57,491 I vote for shopping. 716 01:10:57,741 --> 01:10:59,661 I feel totally scuzzed out. 717 01:10:59,831 --> 01:11:04,671 We'd all look good in some Italian fashions. Got plenty of money. 718 01:12:54,491 --> 01:12:56,651 - You look cool. - I feel cool. 719 01:13:01,281 --> 01:13:02,991 Looking good, Mom! 720 01:13:03,241 --> 01:13:06,621 Let's go. We ready to conquer Rome? 721 01:13:22,511 --> 01:13:24,811 I'll be back and we'll hit the fountains. 722 01:13:33,611 --> 01:13:36,281 I'm terribly sorry. Are you all right? 723 01:13:37,281 --> 01:13:39,161 No problem at all. 724 01:13:39,241 --> 01:13:40,951 It's you. The guy from London. 725 01:13:41,121 --> 01:13:42,781 You're the American I ran into. 726 01:13:44,991 --> 01:13:46,501 What are you doing in Rome? 727 01:13:47,161 --> 01:13:50,331 On sick leave. A little holiday. Recovering. 728 01:13:50,501 --> 01:13:52,291 Still on holiday with the kids? 729 01:13:52,381 --> 01:13:55,461 Yeah, we're here. We've just been out shopping. 730 01:13:56,011 --> 01:13:57,551 Nice choice. 731 01:13:57,801 --> 01:14:00,381 They're right there. Kids, look who it is! Say "hi"! 732 01:14:04,011 --> 01:14:06,101 You've got a cast on your leg. 733 01:14:06,471 --> 01:14:10,641 This? Think nothing of it. Hardly matters at all. 734 01:14:10,851 --> 01:14:12,401 It's just a big sock, really. 735 01:14:12,861 --> 01:14:17,821 That's pretty nice of you. I feel bad. At least, let me give you a hand. 736 01:14:18,031 --> 01:14:19,201 No, thanks! 737 01:14:19,651 --> 01:14:20,991 Isn't this your hotel? 738 01:14:21,111 --> 01:14:24,281 No, my hotel's over there. Have a nice holiday. 739 01:14:24,331 --> 01:14:26,041 Okay. Cheerio! 740 01:14:28,331 --> 01:14:30,251 This is the Piazza Navona. 741 01:14:30,501 --> 01:14:31,371 Jack? 742 01:14:34,381 --> 01:14:37,921 It's one of the most fabulous squares in Rome. What's wrong? 743 01:14:38,301 --> 01:14:40,511 I want to go home. I miss Jack. 744 01:14:40,681 --> 01:14:44,181 We have a few more fountains to see, then the Colosseum. 745 01:14:44,261 --> 01:14:47,261 I don't want to see the Colosseum. I want to see Jack! 746 01:14:47,851 --> 01:14:49,311 Jack will always be there. 747 01:14:49,431 --> 01:14:53,101 The Colosseum will always be there. It's been there 2,000 years. 748 01:14:53,311 --> 01:14:57,611 If I don't go home soon, Jack will fall in love with Debbie, and I'll die. 749 01:14:59,241 --> 01:15:02,031 Don't you want to see the Colosseum before you die? 750 01:15:02,151 --> 01:15:04,031 I hate you. 751 01:15:05,201 --> 01:15:07,241 I'll meet you later at the hotel. 752 01:15:08,371 --> 01:15:10,001 What about the fountains? 753 01:15:10,161 --> 01:15:11,871 I'm fountained out. 754 01:15:11,961 --> 01:15:13,621 Clark, let him go. 755 01:15:14,081 --> 01:15:16,501 We're leaving in two days. 756 01:15:16,541 --> 01:15:19,421 These are our last moments together as a family. 757 01:15:20,211 --> 01:15:24,221 Dad, we've been together every second for the last two weeks! 758 01:15:25,091 --> 01:15:29,021 By the way, I've been good. I haven't complained or tried to escape. 759 01:15:29,521 --> 01:15:31,771 Why can't you treat me like a man, for once? 760 01:15:33,231 --> 01:15:34,691 Because you're not a man. 761 01:15:35,101 --> 01:15:38,901 I am, too! I'm 15 years old, a world traveler. 762 01:15:38,981 --> 01:15:42,031 I have a part-time job. I need my independence. 763 01:15:42,741 --> 01:15:44,741 If he's going, I'm going. 764 01:15:44,861 --> 01:15:47,531 Why don't we give the kids some free time? 765 01:15:48,411 --> 01:15:51,751 Sure. Let them go. They're just a couple of ingrates. 766 01:15:51,911 --> 01:15:54,421 They're not ingrates, they're teenagers. 767 01:15:54,621 --> 01:15:56,831 - Where's my allowance? - Where's my passport? 768 01:15:56,921 --> 01:15:59,051 Just a minute! 769 01:15:59,461 --> 01:16:01,711 Let's settle down and be reasonable. 770 01:16:02,011 --> 01:16:05,931 If we think about it, we can all make some compromises. 771 01:16:12,101 --> 01:16:13,931 Oh, my God! 772 01:16:20,111 --> 01:16:21,981 - Take it easy. - I don't believe this! 773 01:16:22,111 --> 01:16:26,071 This is the most humiliating thing you've ever done to me! This is the last straw. 774 01:16:26,321 --> 01:16:28,821 It's not my fault they stole the camera. 775 01:16:29,081 --> 01:16:31,241 You promised to erase it! 776 01:16:31,791 --> 01:16:35,411 I was going to erase it. The guy stole the camera. 777 01:16:35,501 --> 01:16:38,461 This is the lowest, the worst, Clark! 778 01:16:39,591 --> 01:16:43,261 Where are you going? We're going to the Colosseum at 2:00. 779 01:16:43,341 --> 01:16:45,171 I'm going back to the hotel! 780 01:16:46,881 --> 01:16:48,340 We didn't vote on that. 781 01:16:48,341 --> 01:16:51,061 Forget your vote! I'm seceding from the Union... 782 01:16:51,101 --> 01:16:54,641 ...forming my own government, and declaring war on you! 783 01:16:59,361 --> 01:17:02,781 - She knows I didn't do it on purpose. - I don't blame her. 784 01:17:04,401 --> 01:17:06,651 Yeah, it's not even a good likeness, is it? 785 01:17:10,161 --> 01:17:12,081 I guess it's just you and me, Audrey. 786 01:17:19,541 --> 01:17:21,001 Buongiorno. 787 01:17:24,711 --> 01:17:26,921 That's bellissimo. 788 01:17:27,511 --> 01:17:28,971 Really choice? 789 01:17:29,971 --> 01:17:35,181 And I think that you are really bellissimo also. 790 01:17:36,391 --> 01:17:38,391 You're not too shabby yourself. 791 01:17:38,891 --> 01:17:41,611 - You speak English? - I'm from California. 792 01:17:41,861 --> 01:17:43,821 All right! I'm from Chicago. 793 01:17:46,401 --> 01:17:48,951 Do you want to go scarf some grimace proportions? 794 01:17:50,201 --> 01:17:51,871 What are you doing in Rome? 795 01:17:52,201 --> 01:17:53,871 Traveling with my folks. 796 01:17:54,121 --> 01:17:55,451 Me, too. We won... 797 01:17:55,491 --> 01:17:59,001 - Pig in a Poke. I saw the show. - You saw the show? 798 01:17:59,211 --> 01:18:02,671 You answered the Thomas Edison question and won car wax. 799 01:18:02,921 --> 01:18:05,341 - You remembered? - Yes, I thought you were cute. 800 01:18:05,921 --> 01:18:07,721 You thought I was cute? 801 01:18:21,601 --> 01:18:23,561 Finally, there's one of them. 802 01:18:23,811 --> 01:18:25,071 And she's alone. 803 01:18:25,401 --> 01:18:27,401 Let's get the guy out of the trunk. 804 01:18:27,741 --> 01:18:30,741 Too many people here. We'll move the car first. 805 01:18:31,111 --> 01:18:32,911 I'll get the keys from her. 806 01:19:07,781 --> 01:19:11,451 I hate to see a beautiful woman drink bad wine. 807 01:19:12,451 --> 01:19:16,781 Then you should leave, because I'm going to get plastered. 808 01:19:18,791 --> 01:19:20,161 What is it? 809 01:19:21,661 --> 01:19:23,251 Is it your husband? 810 01:19:24,131 --> 01:19:25,211 That pig? 811 01:19:25,461 --> 01:19:27,291 He's not a pig. 812 01:19:34,471 --> 01:19:36,931 He is a pig. He is! 813 01:19:42,181 --> 01:19:43,521 Thank you. 814 01:19:46,151 --> 01:19:49,031 Operator, I'd like the number for information. 815 01:19:49,321 --> 01:19:51,321 I want to call the airport. 816 01:19:56,451 --> 01:19:58,781 Numero, please-o. 817 01:20:02,201 --> 01:20:03,501 Pan Am. 818 01:20:12,051 --> 01:20:14,721 Va bene. Non si preoccupi. Faccio io. Lasci stare. 819 01:20:15,471 --> 01:20:19,311 E stata una disgrazia. Ora rimedio io, piano piano. 820 01:20:19,721 --> 01:20:20,511 Che fa? 821 01:20:48,381 --> 01:20:51,551 Then I rolled on the floor and started going... 822 01:20:55,421 --> 01:20:59,261 I was completely naked. Not completely, I had on a towel. 823 01:20:59,551 --> 01:21:04,061 He promised me he'd erase that. He promised me he'd erase it. 824 01:21:04,931 --> 01:21:06,891 I'm a ruined woman. 825 01:21:08,401 --> 01:21:10,561 I thought this was going to be... 826 01:21:12,571 --> 01:21:15,241 ...like some kind of second honeymoon. 827 01:21:16,241 --> 01:21:20,411 We should have left the children with Helga and Fritz. 828 01:21:24,451 --> 01:21:27,751 I'm sorry, but I should go to my room now. 829 01:21:28,121 --> 01:21:30,081 I'm going to throw up. 830 01:21:35,011 --> 01:21:36,511 Let me help you. 831 01:21:36,801 --> 01:21:39,431 No, no. I'll be fine, really. 832 01:21:39,641 --> 01:21:42,561 I think you'll feel better if you lie down. 833 01:21:44,971 --> 01:21:47,771 I have a philosophy about dealing with my parents. 834 01:21:48,141 --> 01:21:51,111 If I'm in school or hanging out or something... 835 01:21:51,311 --> 01:21:55,481 ...there's all this pressure to act cool or do the right thing. 836 01:21:56,151 --> 01:21:58,781 But if I'm with my parents, who really cares? 837 01:21:58,991 --> 01:22:02,621 They don't know what's cool and what's not, so I just put everything on hold. 838 01:22:03,531 --> 01:22:05,701 That's a great way to look at it. 839 01:22:07,291 --> 01:22:08,961 I'm having a great time. 840 01:22:09,331 --> 01:22:10,371 Me, too. 841 01:22:10,831 --> 01:22:14,801 Imagine coming all the way to Rome to meet someone from California. 842 01:22:19,631 --> 01:22:21,971 Whatever happened to us? 843 01:22:23,141 --> 01:22:25,141 We were high school sweethearts. 844 01:22:25,311 --> 01:22:29,981 We never even did it until we got married. Well, at least until we decided to. 845 01:22:30,481 --> 01:22:33,441 And I left him all alone in that piazza. 846 01:22:33,811 --> 01:22:36,691 I said the "F" word in front of my children! 847 01:22:36,981 --> 01:22:39,491 What kind of woman am I? 848 01:22:40,491 --> 01:22:41,361 Exciting. 849 01:22:42,821 --> 01:22:44,531 Don't fight it, Ellen. 850 01:22:45,031 --> 01:22:46,991 What are you doing? 851 01:22:47,501 --> 01:22:49,501 Let me take you away from this. 852 01:22:49,621 --> 01:22:52,831 I don't want to be away. I want my Sparky back. 853 01:22:54,171 --> 01:22:57,091 It was just a little argument. He'll be here any minute. 854 01:22:57,711 --> 01:22:59,011 He's very jealous. 855 01:23:00,381 --> 01:23:01,761 I'm calling the manager. 856 01:23:03,391 --> 01:23:05,851 I wouldn't do that if I were you. 857 01:23:15,401 --> 01:23:17,731 Are you taking any calls? 858 01:23:20,651 --> 01:23:23,241 The police are here. Stay away from the Fiat. 859 01:23:23,571 --> 01:23:24,571 I'm leaving. 860 01:23:24,661 --> 01:23:26,331 I'll be right down. 861 01:23:27,281 --> 01:23:29,081 Debbie, Audrey! 862 01:23:29,251 --> 01:23:31,711 We've got a score to settle, and you know what I mean! 863 01:23:32,041 --> 01:23:36,881 If you want to salvage our last shred of friendship, do me this favor. 864 01:23:37,381 --> 01:23:41,881 I want you to book me on a Pan Am flight out of Rome into Chicago today! 865 01:23:43,381 --> 01:23:45,091 Yeah, I'll hold. 866 01:23:48,141 --> 01:23:49,021 Bitch. 867 01:23:56,111 --> 01:23:58,071 Take the car keys! 868 01:23:59,571 --> 01:24:01,191 Find your father! 869 01:24:05,781 --> 01:24:07,071 Don't move. 870 01:24:20,251 --> 01:24:22,261 Mom, where are you going? 871 01:24:26,181 --> 01:24:29,101 - What's wrong? - Mom's been kidnapped. 872 01:24:31,101 --> 01:24:33,561 - Where's the car? - Over there. Here's the keys. 873 01:25:00,001 --> 01:25:01,051 There they are! 874 01:25:24,821 --> 01:25:27,151 Hey, Dad, there's the Colosseum! 875 01:25:34,451 --> 01:25:38,171 I've talked so much. What about you? What are your parents like? 876 01:25:38,871 --> 01:25:41,671 There's really not that much to say. 877 01:25:42,041 --> 01:25:43,711 They're just normal parents. 878 01:25:53,721 --> 01:25:56,311 My Dad's all right. He's a little slow sometimes. 879 01:26:04,231 --> 01:26:05,821 God, that's Dad! 880 01:26:07,611 --> 01:26:10,911 - What happened? - Not much. Mom's been kidnapped. 881 01:26:36,021 --> 01:26:37,311 Darn it all! 882 01:26:45,271 --> 01:26:48,071 Excuse me. There's a man in the trunk. 883 01:26:56,451 --> 01:26:57,911 I'm coming! 884 01:27:30,281 --> 01:27:32,151 Take my hand! 885 01:27:38,121 --> 01:27:40,291 Clark, where are you going? 886 01:27:40,661 --> 01:27:42,461 Get back here! 887 01:28:11,321 --> 01:28:12,491 You bastard! 888 01:28:14,361 --> 01:28:15,661 Come here. 889 01:28:22,621 --> 01:28:23,911 Still on holiday? 890 01:28:24,171 --> 01:28:26,331 Sorry. I'm looking for someone else. 891 01:28:26,541 --> 01:28:29,131 No problem. I'm used to it. Good luck! 892 01:28:39,221 --> 01:28:40,561 He kidnapped my wife. 893 01:28:43,181 --> 01:28:44,521 You all right? 894 01:29:01,871 --> 01:29:04,711 I love you, Sparky. You're my hero. 895 01:29:04,961 --> 01:29:06,121 I know. 896 01:29:06,871 --> 01:29:09,541 Your parents are actually pretty cool. 897 01:29:09,881 --> 01:29:13,051 Yeah, they're good for a few laughs, sometimes. 898 01:29:14,051 --> 01:29:16,381 Now can we go home? 899 01:30:07,271 --> 01:30:08,641 Look. 900 01:30:10,941 --> 01:30:12,821 The Statue of Liberty. 901 01:30:14,981 --> 01:30:18,111 I never thought I'd be so glad to see the Statue of Liberty. 902 01:30:18,151 --> 01:30:19,161 Me neither. 903 01:30:20,111 --> 01:30:24,621 The great thing about traveling is you really appreciate coming home. 904 01:30:30,961 --> 01:30:32,341 I've got to go. 905 01:30:37,971 --> 01:30:40,631 I never realized how much I've missed America. 906 01:30:41,471 --> 01:30:43,971 I bet America's missed the Griswalds. 907 01:30:47,681 --> 01:30:51,351 I'm very sorry. Let me get... My jacket is caught. 908 01:31:02,371 --> 01:31:04,781 Yup. 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