1 00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:12,074 Advertise your product or brand here contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today 2 00:00:18,834 --> 00:00:22,873 [Man] This is the city. Los Angeles, California. 3 00:00:22,954 --> 00:00:27,948 465 square miles of constantly interfacing humanity... 4 00:00:28,034 --> 00:00:31,231 representing every race, colour... 5 00:00:31,314 --> 00:00:34,465 creed and persuasion... 6 00:00:35,994 --> 00:00:39,703 that God, no matter how he is worshipped... 7 00:00:39,794 --> 00:00:42,991 chose, in His infinite wisdom, to deposit here... 8 00:00:43,074 --> 00:00:46,191 in the cultural nexus of the Pacific Rim. 9 00:00:46,274 --> 00:00:49,072 Almost 4 million people work and play here. 10 00:00:49,154 --> 00:00:52,191 And like any other place anywhere... 11 00:00:52,274 --> 00:00:55,983 there are those who have it and those who want it. 12 00:00:56,074 --> 00:00:59,305 Those who have it, enjoy it... 13 00:00:59,394 --> 00:01:01,191 no matter how they got it. 14 00:01:01,274 --> 00:01:04,550 Those who want it, can get it by attempting to better themselves... 15 00:01:04,634 --> 00:01:08,183 in a sympathetic community populated by decent citizens cheering them on. 16 00:01:09,274 --> 00:01:12,869 Or they can try to take it the easy way. 17 00:01:12,954 --> 00:01:17,709 Because even in the City of Angels, from time to time, some halos slip. 18 00:01:18,914 --> 00:01:23,908 That's where I come in, doing my job to the best of my ability on a daily basis. 19 00:01:24,954 --> 00:01:28,310 I work here. I carry a badge. 20 00:01:29,914 --> 00:01:34,908 }} [Dragnet March Plays] 21 00:02:10,714 --> 00:02:12,625 Dragnet! 22 00:02:14,874 --> 00:02:16,830 } Police, police police officer, ma'am } 23 00:02:18,634 --> 00:02:21,023 } Their job Their job } 24 00:02:21,114 --> 00:02:24,151 } To enforce the laws To enforce the laws } 25 00:02:24,234 --> 00:02:25,792 } Their job: To enforce the laws } 26 00:02:25,874 --> 00:02:28,069 } Enforce Enforce the laws } 27 00:02:30,354 --> 00:02:33,471 } To enforce the laws Their job: To enforce the laws } 28 00:02:35,714 --> 00:02:37,989 } J-J-J-J-Just the facts, ma'am } 29 00:02:38,074 --> 00:02:41,225 } Just the facts, ma'am Just the facts, ma'am } 30 00:02:41,314 --> 00:02:42,906 } D-D-D-D-Dragnet Dragnet } 31 00:02:42,994 --> 00:02:45,064 } To enforce the laws To enforce the laws } 32 00:02:45,154 --> 00:02:47,110 } To enforce the laws } 33 00:02:50,674 --> 00:02:52,665 } Dragnet, Dragnet, Dragnet } 34 00:02:52,754 --> 00:02:55,109 } Their job: To enforce the laws To enforce the laws } 35 00:02:55,194 --> 00:02:57,549 } To enforce the laws To enforce the laws } 36 00:02:57,634 --> 00:02:59,545 Police officers, ma'am. 37 00:03:14,714 --> 00:03:18,468 Just the facts, ma'am. Just the facts, ma'am. 38 00:03:18,554 --> 00:03:23,264 } J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J } 39 00:03:33,794 --> 00:03:36,513 - } To enforce the laws } - } M-My name's Friday } 40 00:03:36,594 --> 00:03:38,630 - } M-My name's Friday } - } Enforce the laws } 41 00:03:38,714 --> 00:03:40,944 - } M-My name's Friday } - } Their job } 42 00:03:41,034 --> 00:03:42,945 } To enforce the laws } 43 00:03:43,034 --> 00:03:45,548 } And preserve the safety of decent citizens } 44 00:03:50,074 --> 00:03:52,872 } Dragnet, Dragnet, Dragnet }} 45 00:03:59,674 --> 00:04:04,270 [Narrator] Ladies and gentlemen, the story you are about to see is true. 46 00:04:04,354 --> 00:04:07,152 The names have been changed to protect the innocent. 47 00:04:07,234 --> 00:04:12,149 For example, George Baker is now called Sylvia Wiss. 48 00:04:32,594 --> 00:04:35,062 Hey, who called the fire department? 49 00:04:35,154 --> 00:04:37,827 What the hell is going on here? 50 00:04:37,914 --> 00:04:39,791 Chief, where's the fire? 51 00:04:54,034 --> 00:04:55,547 See the fire? 52 00:04:55,634 --> 00:04:59,183 I see the fire. I see the fire. 53 00:04:59,274 --> 00:05:01,834 Good! When you wake up... 54 00:05:03,834 --> 00:05:07,747 tell Jerry Caesar he's out of business. 55 00:05:18,034 --> 00:05:20,104 [Detective] It was Wednesday, January 7. 56 00:05:20,994 --> 00:05:23,906 A cool day in Los Angeles, with westerly winds... 57 00:05:23,994 --> 00:05:26,508 and light, scattered clouds at 3,000 feet. 58 00:05:26,594 --> 00:05:28,550 I was working day watch out of Robbery-Homicide... 59 00:05:28,634 --> 00:05:30,670 at the same desk my late Uncle Joe occupied... 60 00:05:30,754 --> 00:05:33,427 when he served with the department 20 years ago. 61 00:05:37,314 --> 00:05:41,512 Many aspects of the officer's routine have changed since Uncle Joe's time. 62 00:05:41,594 --> 00:05:44,552 Now there are new methods, new philosophies, new equipment. 63 00:05:44,634 --> 00:05:47,512 The standard service revolver and simple lead sap... 64 00:05:47,594 --> 00:05:50,904 have given way to Taser guns and anodized metal batons. 65 00:05:50,994 --> 00:05:54,464 But there's one thing that never changes. 66 00:05:54,554 --> 00:05:59,309 The face of crime. It just gets bigger and badder and uglier every day. 67 00:05:59,394 --> 00:06:02,386 My partner's name is Frank Smith. The boss is Captain Gannon. 68 00:06:02,474 --> 00:06:03,827 My name's Friday. 69 00:06:03,914 --> 00:06:05,711 - Joe. - Captain. 70 00:06:05,794 --> 00:06:08,592 Frank's late. Must've been held up in traffic. 71 00:06:08,674 --> 00:06:11,905 - Frank won't be coming in today. - 24-hour virus? 72 00:06:11,994 --> 00:06:14,713 - Or tomorrow. - Forty-eight? 73 00:06:14,794 --> 00:06:17,388 Frank quit. Bought a goat farm. 74 00:06:17,474 --> 00:06:20,227 Moved to Ukiah. Left you this note. 75 00:06:20,314 --> 00:06:22,908 He was too broken up to talk about it. 76 00:06:22,994 --> 00:06:25,189 Said he knew you'd understand. 77 00:06:25,954 --> 00:06:29,867 Every man has a dream to chase. Frank's was that goat farm. 78 00:06:29,954 --> 00:06:33,151 - I understand. But tell me something. - Yeah? 79 00:06:33,234 --> 00:06:37,022 Those 3.6 million citizens who expected him to be on the job this morning... 80 00:06:37,114 --> 00:06:38,627 will they understand? 81 00:06:43,554 --> 00:06:45,146 [Friday] 8:47 a.m. 82 00:06:45,234 --> 00:06:49,273 Captain Gannon had assigned me to investigate the Pagan robberies... 83 00:06:49,354 --> 00:06:52,426 a pattern of serial crimes which had occurred throughout the city. 84 00:06:52,514 --> 00:06:55,745 They'd seemed merely irritating, but were gaining notoriety... 85 00:06:55,834 --> 00:06:57,950 through their growing frequency and naked brazenness. 86 00:06:58,034 --> 00:07:01,071 I was to contact my new partner at the central receiving lot. 87 00:07:01,154 --> 00:07:05,545 A less experienced officer might have been concerned he was getting potluck. 88 00:07:05,634 --> 00:07:08,831 But I knew that any detective the department had to offer me... 89 00:07:08,914 --> 00:07:11,747 was automatically worthy of my respect. 90 00:07:14,354 --> 00:07:17,073 - Sergeant Friday? - Who wants to know? 91 00:07:17,154 --> 00:07:19,827 I'm Pep Streebek, your new partner. 92 00:07:19,914 --> 00:07:23,987 - Not looking like that, you aren't. - Really? What's that mean? 93 00:07:24,074 --> 00:07:26,986 It means I don't care what undercover rock you crawled out from... 94 00:07:27,074 --> 00:07:29,349 there's a dress code for detectives in Robbery-Homicide. 95 00:07:29,434 --> 00:07:30,992 Section 3-605... 96 00:07:31,074 --> 00:07:35,465 .10,.20,.22,.24,.26, .50,.70,.80. 97 00:07:35,554 --> 00:07:38,864 It specifies clean shirt, short hair, tie, pressed trousers... 98 00:07:38,954 --> 00:07:42,264 sports jacket or suit and leather shoes, preferable with a high shine. 99 00:07:46,834 --> 00:07:48,665 9:05 a.m. 100 00:07:48,754 --> 00:07:51,314 Streebek's unauthorized outfit and facial growth were history. 101 00:07:51,394 --> 00:07:56,104 For the first time in 12 years, I rolled into traffic with a new partner. 102 00:08:05,594 --> 00:08:08,028 Detective Pep Streebek: Male, Caucasian... 103 00:08:08,114 --> 00:08:10,264 six feet, 165 pounds... 104 00:08:10,354 --> 00:08:12,345 no distinguishing scars. 105 00:08:12,434 --> 00:08:15,744 He had an extensive list of merit citations which was tainted... 106 00:08:15,834 --> 00:08:17,984 by his total disregard for departmental procedure. 107 00:08:18,074 --> 00:08:20,713 He pictured himself as some hipster, free-bird cop. 108 00:08:20,794 --> 00:08:22,625 But his wings were about to be clipped... 109 00:08:22,714 --> 00:08:25,945 because now he was going to play the detective game by my rules. 110 00:08:28,034 --> 00:08:32,152 [Horns Honking] 111 00:08:32,234 --> 00:08:37,228 [Honking Continues] 112 00:08:37,314 --> 00:08:40,545 Friday, we're allowed to go 55. 113 00:08:41,794 --> 00:08:43,750 On some occasions, even faster. 114 00:08:44,914 --> 00:08:47,303 I'm well aware of the federally-mandated speed limit. 115 00:08:47,394 --> 00:08:50,272 But did it ever occur to you that by going 8 miles an hour slower... 116 00:08:50,354 --> 00:08:54,905 we might save gas and ease the burden on the taxpayers who pay our salaries? 117 00:08:54,994 --> 00:08:57,827 A little extra gas isn't gonna put the city in hock. 118 00:08:57,914 --> 00:08:59,745 Besides, this looks bad. 119 00:08:59,834 --> 00:09:03,952 Live a little! It's the vertical pedal on the right. 120 00:09:04,034 --> 00:09:07,106 9:47 a.m. We arrived at the Griffith Park Zoo... 121 00:09:07,194 --> 00:09:11,790 Los Angeles's habitat for wild animals sustained in dignified captivity. 122 00:09:11,874 --> 00:09:15,628 An adult male lion and a security guard had been tranquillized with a dart gun... 123 00:09:15,714 --> 00:09:17,909 and subsequent robberies had occurred. 124 00:09:17,994 --> 00:09:19,825 These animals have it pretty good. 125 00:09:19,914 --> 00:09:22,303 Simulated surroundings, three squares a day. 126 00:09:22,394 --> 00:09:26,069 If these creatures could talk, they'd give the citizens a vote of thanks. 127 00:09:26,154 --> 00:09:29,464 Friday, these animals... 128 00:09:29,554 --> 00:09:33,991 were trapped, stunned and roped, crated and shipped, dropped into cages. 129 00:09:34,074 --> 00:09:37,544 You think they were in the wild forming lines, jockeying for position... 130 00:09:37,634 --> 00:09:40,706 saying, "Take me! I want to live on damn cement"? 131 00:09:40,794 --> 00:09:43,672 When I look in their eyes, I get a different message. 132 00:09:43,754 --> 00:09:45,790 We'll leave it at that. 133 00:09:49,914 --> 00:09:51,586 Are you the police? 134 00:09:51,674 --> 00:09:54,950 Friday, Streebek. Robbery. You have some Pagan cards? 135 00:09:55,034 --> 00:09:58,310 Yeah. Three of them. Left in separate cages. 136 00:09:58,394 --> 00:10:01,147 Let me show you where I found them. 137 00:10:01,234 --> 00:10:03,748 This is Ben, our boa constrictor. 138 00:10:03,834 --> 00:10:07,793 The missing giant anaconda was still here last night at 8:30. 139 00:10:07,874 --> 00:10:10,229 I know because that's when it gets its final feeding. 140 00:10:10,314 --> 00:10:12,464 It's not always its final feeding. 141 00:10:12,554 --> 00:10:15,432 Sometimes it hides a little snack for later. 142 00:10:15,514 --> 00:10:17,470 Just the facts, if you don't mind, ma'am. 143 00:10:17,554 --> 00:10:20,022 What exactly does a Central Bolivian Anaconda choose to feed on? 144 00:10:20,114 --> 00:10:22,344 It eats whole, live groundhogs. 145 00:10:22,434 --> 00:10:25,824 - You skip breakfast, Friday? - Whoever stole it's gotta feed it. 146 00:10:25,914 --> 00:10:29,031 We also seem to be missing one of these. 147 00:10:31,154 --> 00:10:33,793 What is the approximate dry weight of the Madagascar Fruit Tree Bat? 148 00:10:33,874 --> 00:10:36,149 You mean you don't know? 149 00:10:37,994 --> 00:10:41,543 This is the one I understand the least. 150 00:10:45,394 --> 00:10:49,672 Somebody must've wanted that lion's mane bad to pull a stunt like that. 151 00:10:49,754 --> 00:10:53,986 Although, as Mohawks go, it's not that bad. It'll grow back. 152 00:10:54,074 --> 00:10:58,306 How do you tell that to kids who haven't seen a lion and won't want to again? 153 00:10:58,394 --> 00:11:00,464 Kids, it'll grow back. 154 00:11:00,554 --> 00:11:02,829 Yea! 155 00:11:04,274 --> 00:11:05,502 [Friday] 10:35 a.m. 156 00:11:05,594 --> 00:11:08,506 Arsonists posing as firemen had left a Pagan card... 157 00:11:08,594 --> 00:11:10,789 in the charred ruins of a downtown warehouse. 158 00:11:10,874 --> 00:11:13,672 We were advised to contact the owner of the stolen merchandise... 159 00:11:13,754 --> 00:11:16,029 soft-core porno lord, Jerry Caesar... 160 00:11:16,114 --> 00:11:19,902 at his notorious pleasure compound in the coveted Bel-Air section. 161 00:11:19,994 --> 00:11:22,144 [Horn Honking] 162 00:11:25,314 --> 00:11:27,589 [Woman] Oh, thank God! Vibrator repair? 163 00:11:29,234 --> 00:11:31,907 No, ma'am. Los Angeles Police Department. 164 00:11:31,994 --> 00:11:33,632 Sorry. 165 00:11:41,994 --> 00:11:44,428 It's enough to churn your guts, isn't it? 166 00:11:44,514 --> 00:11:47,347 This girl pruning this bush with her... 167 00:11:47,434 --> 00:11:50,710 That a slut peddler like Jerry Caesar could build a modern day Gomorrah... 168 00:11:50,794 --> 00:11:54,070 in the same city where they recorded "We Are the World." 169 00:12:01,154 --> 00:12:03,429 - Hi. - Hi. 170 00:12:04,474 --> 00:12:05,987 Don't get too friendly. 171 00:12:10,194 --> 00:12:11,707 Hi. Can I help you? 172 00:12:11,794 --> 00:12:15,184 Police officers, ma'am. L.A.P.D. Robbery. I'm Friday. This is... 173 00:12:15,274 --> 00:12:17,504 - April! - That's right. 174 00:12:17,594 --> 00:12:19,346 She was a Baitmate. 175 00:12:19,434 --> 00:12:21,664 Bait magazine. She was featured. 176 00:12:21,754 --> 00:12:24,029 I get the hang of it. In the April issue. 177 00:12:24,114 --> 00:12:27,823 No, Mr Silly. February! My name is April. 178 00:12:27,914 --> 00:12:32,226 Don't tell me. Your favourite movies are The Sound of Music and Yes, Giorgio. 179 00:12:32,314 --> 00:12:34,225 You love to go bobbing for apples. 180 00:12:34,314 --> 00:12:36,589 Your major turn-offs are... 181 00:12:36,674 --> 00:12:40,553 anchovies, people who don't use coasters and... 182 00:12:40,634 --> 00:12:44,263 And men who smoke in public places. 183 00:12:45,514 --> 00:12:47,345 Let's go meet Jerry. 184 00:12:57,394 --> 00:12:59,544 There's Jerry over there. 185 00:13:08,314 --> 00:13:10,509 I'm gonna have a place like this someday. 186 00:13:10,594 --> 00:13:12,744 Dream on, Streebek, dream on. 187 00:13:19,514 --> 00:13:21,391 It's about time. 188 00:13:21,474 --> 00:13:23,590 I called you cops three hours ago. 189 00:13:23,674 --> 00:13:26,552 Yes, sir. My name's Friday. This is Detective Streebek. 190 00:13:27,274 --> 00:13:28,707 What's missing? 191 00:13:28,794 --> 00:13:31,183 How about the entire run... 192 00:13:31,274 --> 00:13:34,949 every single copy of our 25th Anniversary double issue of Bait. 193 00:13:35,994 --> 00:13:38,462 - Bait. - That's his skin magazine. 194 00:13:38,554 --> 00:13:42,388 You say. The intelligent subscriber regards it... 195 00:13:42,474 --> 00:13:45,272 as a politically-oriented, socially-impacted monthly. 196 00:13:45,354 --> 00:13:48,949 I'm not gonna allow a gang of cement heads to intimidate me... 197 00:13:49,034 --> 00:13:51,229 just because I refused to publish their stupid manifesto. 198 00:13:51,314 --> 00:13:55,626 - Tell us about that. - Here. Read it for yourself. 199 00:13:57,434 --> 00:13:59,550 "Manifest of the International Brotherhood of Pagan. 200 00:13:59,634 --> 00:14:03,422 We believe bad sex and good drugs are the cornerstone of a great democracy. 201 00:14:03,514 --> 00:14:06,824 - The peak of pornography..." - We get the general idea. 202 00:14:06,914 --> 00:14:10,748 My publishing company is not a private platform for a bunch of yahoos. 203 00:14:10,834 --> 00:14:13,223 I don't care how many copies they buy. 204 00:14:13,314 --> 00:14:16,863 I don't have to publish their junk just because they got 1st amendment rights. 205 00:14:16,954 --> 00:14:19,070 I've got 1st amendment rights, too. Look 'em up. 206 00:14:19,154 --> 00:14:21,622 I don't have. I can quote 'em to you. 207 00:14:21,714 --> 00:14:25,104 Anyhow, how much do you figure a monthly run of your... 208 00:14:25,194 --> 00:14:27,071 "magazine" is worth? 209 00:14:27,994 --> 00:14:32,624 It's more money than you'll ever see in your life. And I do that every month. 210 00:14:32,714 --> 00:14:34,113 My money's clean. 211 00:14:34,194 --> 00:14:38,312 I'll tell you what you do before you go home and start polishing your pennies. 212 00:14:38,394 --> 00:14:41,511 Go out and get my magazines back on the stand where they belong. 213 00:14:41,594 --> 00:14:46,224 Listen, hotshot, I don't care for you or the putrid sludge you're trowelling out. 214 00:14:46,314 --> 00:14:50,705 But until the laws are changed, my job's to get back your boxes of smut. 215 00:14:50,794 --> 00:14:53,103 Since I'll be doing it holding my nose, I'll be doing it with one hand. 216 00:14:55,154 --> 00:14:58,351 Excuse me. Jerry, it's time for your collagen treatment. 217 00:14:58,434 --> 00:15:01,346 And don't forget, you're having your pores sucked at 3:00. 218 00:15:02,394 --> 00:15:03,873 Thank you, Sylvia. 219 00:15:03,954 --> 00:15:06,309 Boys, as you can see, I've got my work to do. 220 00:15:06,394 --> 00:15:09,466 Why don't you get the hell out of here and do yours? 221 00:15:15,514 --> 00:15:17,823 You have very strong hands. 222 00:15:17,914 --> 00:15:20,109 Hey, Sylvia Wiss! 223 00:15:21,474 --> 00:15:22,793 Yes, that's me. 224 00:15:22,874 --> 00:15:25,627 They oughta transfer you to Missing Persons. You know everybody. 225 00:15:25,714 --> 00:15:30,504 Don't you read the papers? Saturday is Bait magazine's 25th anniversary party. 226 00:15:30,594 --> 00:15:33,666 Caesar is reuniting all of his former Baitmates. 227 00:15:33,754 --> 00:15:38,669 Miss Sylvia Wiss, right here, was the very first Baitmate ever. 228 00:15:38,754 --> 00:15:40,107 Fascinating. 229 00:15:40,194 --> 00:15:44,824 Sergeant, if I asked your honest opinion about something, would I get it? 230 00:15:44,914 --> 00:15:46,791 You can bet the house on it. 231 00:15:47,914 --> 00:15:50,587 Would you say these look like the breasts of a 43-year-old woman? 232 00:15:53,954 --> 00:15:57,026 No. No, they don't, Miss Wiss. 233 00:15:57,114 --> 00:16:00,390 They're quite impressive, bordering on spectacular. 234 00:16:00,474 --> 00:16:02,305 We have to be running along now. 235 00:16:02,394 --> 00:16:04,703 What's your hurry? 236 00:16:04,794 --> 00:16:07,308 Wouldn't you like to have an early lunch? 237 00:16:08,474 --> 00:16:10,863 Listen, Joe, it's the darndest thing. 238 00:16:10,954 --> 00:16:14,310 I seem to have left my notebook in the car. 239 00:16:14,394 --> 00:16:18,103 It's gonna take me 15, 20 min... A half an hour to find it. 240 00:16:18,194 --> 00:16:22,790 Why don't you pump Sylvia privately for information? 241 00:16:22,874 --> 00:16:24,830 And I'II, you know... 242 00:16:24,914 --> 00:16:28,543 - Nice meeting you, Miss Wiss. - I had a good time, too. 243 00:16:28,634 --> 00:16:32,070 Come on. Let's go to the car and find that notebook. 244 00:16:33,434 --> 00:16:35,265 Are you crazy? 245 00:16:35,354 --> 00:16:37,185 Sylvia Wiss wanted you. 246 00:16:38,434 --> 00:16:40,265 Let me tell you something. 247 00:16:40,354 --> 00:16:43,585 There are two things which differentiate the human species from animals. 248 00:16:43,674 --> 00:16:47,269 One, we use cutlery. Two, we can control our sexual urges. 249 00:16:47,354 --> 00:16:51,666 You might be an exception, but don't drag me into your private hell. 250 00:16:53,514 --> 00:16:56,312 You've got a lot of repressed feelings, don't you? 251 00:16:56,394 --> 00:16:59,147 Must be what keeps your hair up. 252 00:17:09,034 --> 00:17:13,107 - What is bothering you besides me? - I'm thinking about those Pagans. 253 00:17:13,194 --> 00:17:17,107 If all they were after was revenge against Caesar, it's slime versus slime. 254 00:17:17,194 --> 00:17:21,710 But when they attack great institutions like our city zoo, my hackles turn red. 255 00:17:21,794 --> 00:17:25,025 You'll lose those red hackles if you eat those chili dogs. 256 00:17:25,114 --> 00:17:26,627 I can handle it. 257 00:17:26,714 --> 00:17:30,343 They're the worst thing for you. Filled with nitrates, toxins, poisons. 258 00:17:30,434 --> 00:17:32,265 And you're doubling up on them. 259 00:17:32,354 --> 00:17:36,108 Mister, outside of cigarettes I only have one vice: Chili dogs. 260 00:17:36,194 --> 00:17:39,027 So pipe down and let me enjoy my lunch in peace. 261 00:17:39,114 --> 00:17:42,584 Do you know the things that can fall into an industrial sausage press... 262 00:17:42,674 --> 00:17:46,110 not excluding rodent hairs and bug excrement? 263 00:17:46,194 --> 00:17:48,185 I hate you, Streebek. 264 00:17:57,154 --> 00:18:01,466 Except for you and canned cling peaches, I'd be hard-pressed to find anyone... 265 00:18:01,554 --> 00:18:04,148 that doesn't know you should never leave your car keys in the ignition. 266 00:18:04,234 --> 00:18:07,385 It's called a mistake. But I don't suppose you ever make any of those. 267 00:18:07,474 --> 00:18:09,749 At ease, Streebek. We got another one. 268 00:18:09,834 --> 00:18:12,268 Chemical train hijack at the freight yards. 269 00:18:12,354 --> 00:18:14,822 Damn Pagans must be living on No-Doz. 270 00:18:14,914 --> 00:18:17,144 Yes, sir. We'll roll as soon as we requisition a new... 271 00:18:17,234 --> 00:18:20,510 One more thing. Police and fire departments... 272 00:18:20,594 --> 00:18:24,348 have been reporting vehicles stolen, so keep an eye on your car. 273 00:18:29,914 --> 00:18:33,065 [Friday] 1:15 p.m. After requisitioning a replacement vehicle... 274 00:18:33,154 --> 00:18:35,668 we were issued a new Ford Escort subcompact... 275 00:18:35,754 --> 00:18:40,544 and responded to the call at Southern California's largest railhead... 276 00:18:40,634 --> 00:18:44,183 with more than 1,000 miles of track lying parallel over 2 million ties... 277 00:18:44,274 --> 00:18:46,151 hewn from majestic redwood forests. 278 00:18:47,354 --> 00:18:50,790 3,000 gallons of two deadly chemicals had been siphoned individually... 279 00:18:50,874 --> 00:18:53,786 from their respective hijacked tanker cars. 280 00:18:53,874 --> 00:18:57,150 We questioned the battered train engineer, Seņor Tito Provencal... 281 00:18:57,234 --> 00:19:00,670 and attempted to determine the precise identification of the missing gases... 282 00:19:00,754 --> 00:19:04,303 from the owner of the chemicals company, a Mr Roy Grest. 283 00:19:04,394 --> 00:19:09,149 Actually trichlornitromethan and the pseudo-halogenic cyanogen. 284 00:19:09,234 --> 00:19:11,190 Pseudo-halogenic cyanogen. 285 00:19:11,274 --> 00:19:14,789 They're shipped in separate containers. Mixed properly in the exact ratio... 286 00:19:14,874 --> 00:19:18,025 they form a liquid fertilizer that's clear as water. 287 00:19:18,114 --> 00:19:20,344 - But you wouldn't want to smell it. - Why is that? 288 00:19:20,434 --> 00:19:23,585 It burns the eyes, lungs, and throat, causes vomiting... 289 00:19:23,674 --> 00:19:25,869 and if continuously inhaled, death. 290 00:19:25,954 --> 00:19:28,309 Sort of like your aftershave. 291 00:19:38,314 --> 00:19:42,671 [Announcer] It's time to "Advance" with the Reverend Jonathan Whirley... 292 00:19:42,754 --> 00:19:46,906 founder of MAMA, the Moral Advance Movement of America. 293 00:19:46,994 --> 00:19:51,829 Today, Dr Whirley's special guest is police commissioner for Los Angeles... 294 00:19:51,914 --> 00:19:54,348 Ms. Jane Kirkpatrick. 295 00:19:54,434 --> 00:19:56,868 Dr Whirley. 296 00:19:56,954 --> 00:20:01,152 Thank you, George, and welcome once again to Advance. 297 00:20:02,234 --> 00:20:03,428 Commissioner... 298 00:20:03,514 --> 00:20:05,982 Please, will you call me Jane? 299 00:20:06,074 --> 00:20:09,783 Only if you call me Jonathan. [Chuckling] 300 00:20:09,874 --> 00:20:12,672 Have you seen this guy? What a mental fur ball. 301 00:20:12,754 --> 00:20:15,063 Happens to be one of my favourite shows. 302 00:20:15,154 --> 00:20:17,031 Why don't you listen and learn? 303 00:20:17,114 --> 00:20:21,904 What a deep honour it is for this city that you have chosen Los Angeles... 304 00:20:21,994 --> 00:20:26,226 to be the new focal point for the Moral Advance Movement of America. 305 00:20:26,314 --> 00:20:30,273 It's quite simple, Jane. 306 00:20:30,354 --> 00:20:33,391 If one wishes to effect a financial upheaval in this country... 307 00:20:33,474 --> 00:20:35,863 one should set his or her sights on Wall Street. 308 00:20:35,954 --> 00:20:39,503 If one wishes to revolutionize the political system... 309 00:20:39,594 --> 00:20:42,472 he or she would naturally go to Washington. 310 00:20:42,554 --> 00:20:45,990 But when dealing... 311 00:20:46,074 --> 00:20:49,191 with pornography, filth, crime... 312 00:20:49,274 --> 00:20:51,344 degradation... 313 00:20:51,434 --> 00:20:54,870 what better place is there to begin with than Los Angeles... 314 00:20:55,834 --> 00:20:58,302 the current capital of depravity... 315 00:20:58,394 --> 00:21:01,909 in what sadly passes for the modern world. 316 00:21:11,354 --> 00:21:12,867 [Friday] 2:15 p.m. 317 00:21:12,954 --> 00:21:17,391 We had been advised to follow up on a theft at 8823467 Magnolia Boulevard. 318 00:21:17,474 --> 00:21:19,669 At this time of day, it took us 20 minutes to get there. 319 00:21:19,754 --> 00:21:21,665 The complainant was the landlady, Enid Borden. 320 00:21:21,754 --> 00:21:23,745 Some Pagan cards had been found. 321 00:21:28,794 --> 00:21:31,388 - What the hell do you want? - Police officers, ma'am. 322 00:21:31,474 --> 00:21:33,465 About time you pencil dicks showed up. 323 00:21:33,554 --> 00:21:35,909 Why couldn't you have gotten here before that big, bad... 324 00:21:35,994 --> 00:21:39,350 stupid-Iooking piece of sewage breath stole my wedding dress? 325 00:21:39,434 --> 00:21:41,994 Sewage breath would be your nickname for... 326 00:21:42,074 --> 00:21:43,553 Muzz. Emil Muzz. 327 00:21:43,634 --> 00:21:45,829 Not much of an improvement. 328 00:21:45,914 --> 00:21:51,068 That ass-wipe also stiffed me for two months' rent when his cheque bounced. 329 00:21:51,154 --> 00:21:53,224 Goddam puss-faced pimp stick. 330 00:21:53,314 --> 00:21:55,509 All that was left in his room... 331 00:21:55,594 --> 00:21:57,789 was a big box of these things. 332 00:22:02,434 --> 00:22:05,551 Any idea where Emil Muzz could be now? Friends? Family? 333 00:22:05,634 --> 00:22:08,990 He was a Ioner. Took off in the middle of the night. 334 00:22:09,074 --> 00:22:11,110 Useless scum-lapping shitbag. 335 00:22:11,194 --> 00:22:13,310 Just the facts, ma'am. He leave anything else behind? 336 00:22:13,394 --> 00:22:17,023 Yeah, a tape deck which I had to sell to make up for the lost rent. 337 00:22:17,114 --> 00:22:20,948 So there's nothing you can do about it, you slimy little jizz bucket. 338 00:22:21,034 --> 00:22:25,073 Yes, ma'am. Although you could be cited for swearing at us. 339 00:22:25,154 --> 00:22:27,065 Says who, flathead? 340 00:22:27,154 --> 00:22:30,942 The California penal code 314.1 covering obscene conduct in public. 341 00:22:31,034 --> 00:22:32,387 Good enough for you? 342 00:22:32,474 --> 00:22:35,864 Them magazines and papers were his down in the trash. 343 00:22:35,954 --> 00:22:37,865 No cheques or money. I looked. 344 00:22:37,954 --> 00:22:40,184 I should've thrown it in the river the day he left... 345 00:22:40,274 --> 00:22:43,550 but unlike some people, I have a heart, goddam it! 346 00:22:43,634 --> 00:22:45,864 That miserable bag of puke. 347 00:22:48,154 --> 00:22:51,510 I think we're finished here, don't you, Detective Streebek? 348 00:22:53,394 --> 00:22:56,466 Didn't she say she threw some of his stuff in the trash? 349 00:22:56,554 --> 00:22:59,387 There it goes. Let's roll. 350 00:23:13,554 --> 00:23:15,863 Am I glad I got transferred into Robbery-Homicide! 351 00:23:15,954 --> 00:23:19,310 You can almost reach out and touch the tension. 352 00:23:19,394 --> 00:23:22,033 What the hell was that? 353 00:23:22,114 --> 00:23:23,945 It has its days. 354 00:23:24,034 --> 00:23:26,104 Yeah. Like today. 355 00:23:26,194 --> 00:23:30,710 Sitting in a park, getting eaten by ducks, sifting through garbage. 356 00:23:30,794 --> 00:23:34,469 Hello! Photographs of people. Kinda faded. 357 00:23:34,554 --> 00:23:37,705 - Maybe one of them's Muzz. - We couldn't be that lucky. 358 00:23:40,714 --> 00:23:43,353 Hey, phone number. Think it means something? 359 00:23:43,434 --> 00:23:46,744 There's only one way to find out, isn't there? 360 00:23:52,034 --> 00:23:54,309 It's for you. The president. 361 00:24:08,354 --> 00:24:09,548 It's ringing. 362 00:24:13,234 --> 00:24:16,067 - Good afternoon. Caesar residence. - Bingo. 363 00:24:16,154 --> 00:24:18,714 - Hello. May I help you? - Emil Muzz, please. 364 00:24:18,794 --> 00:24:22,104 - He's not here right now. - This is Sergeant Friday, L.A.P.D. 365 00:24:22,194 --> 00:24:24,150 Could you tell us where he is? 366 00:24:24,234 --> 00:24:26,828 He's Mr Caesar's driver... 367 00:24:26,914 --> 00:24:30,987 and Mr Caesar's sailing on his yacht. 368 00:24:31,074 --> 00:24:33,144 That's it. The limousine from the mansion. 369 00:24:33,234 --> 00:24:34,952 Yeah, and Emil Muzz. 370 00:24:35,034 --> 00:24:37,502 Let's check Enid Borden's description. 371 00:24:37,594 --> 00:24:39,312 Well... 372 00:24:39,394 --> 00:24:41,544 "Big, bad, stupid-Iooking." 373 00:24:41,634 --> 00:24:43,226 An exact match. 374 00:24:56,474 --> 00:24:58,465 Police officers. Emil Muzz? 375 00:25:02,674 --> 00:25:04,983 We need to ask you a few questions. 376 00:25:05,074 --> 00:25:06,951 Blow it out your pants, cop. 377 00:25:07,034 --> 00:25:09,946 Good, Muzz. Give yourself a hard time. 378 00:25:17,794 --> 00:25:19,386 I'll drive! 379 00:25:41,834 --> 00:25:43,665 - What are you doing? - Calling for backup. 380 00:25:43,754 --> 00:25:46,552 - Why? - There are regulations for pursuit. 381 00:25:46,634 --> 00:25:50,104 - We're gonna follow every one of them. - Forget it. This is our collar. 382 00:25:50,194 --> 00:25:52,150 - Our collar, huh? - I think so. 383 00:25:52,234 --> 00:25:54,384 Let me tell you something, Mr Lone Wolf. 384 00:25:54,474 --> 00:25:58,069 The dedicated people of the Los Angeles Police Department are one big family... 385 00:25:58,154 --> 00:26:00,748 from my brother, the traffic cop, to my sister, the metre maid. 386 00:26:00,834 --> 00:26:04,304 And when one of us makes a collar, we all make a collar. 387 00:26:04,394 --> 00:26:07,784 Are you on any medication that as your partner I should be made aware of? 388 00:26:07,874 --> 00:26:10,946 2-King-14. I am requesting a backup... 389 00:26:15,274 --> 00:26:17,993 Oh, no! Ahh! 390 00:26:32,914 --> 00:26:33,983 Look out! 391 00:26:48,194 --> 00:26:49,593 Look out! Muppets. 392 00:27:08,234 --> 00:27:12,910 Reckless endangerment of human life, wilful disregard of private property... 393 00:27:12,994 --> 00:27:16,509 - He's really racking up the violations. - Not him, you! 394 00:27:16,594 --> 00:27:19,984 Your ticket back to civilian life, Mr l-Like-To-Throw-The-Book-Out-The-Window. 395 00:27:20,074 --> 00:27:21,712 That's a good idea. 396 00:27:28,874 --> 00:27:30,626 Ever been to Hawaii? 397 00:27:41,434 --> 00:27:43,584 Look out! 398 00:27:51,154 --> 00:27:52,951 Surf's up, but not for you. 399 00:27:53,034 --> 00:27:56,185 You'll be hanging 10 downtown. Read him his rights. 400 00:27:56,274 --> 00:27:58,265 Emil Muzz, guess what! 401 00:27:58,354 --> 00:28:00,345 You are under arrest! 402 00:28:02,914 --> 00:28:05,382 Sit down, unless you're growing! 403 00:28:05,474 --> 00:28:08,386 We've got you on '87 motre vehicle violations. 404 00:28:08,474 --> 00:28:11,113 It's only time before we tie you in to one of those Pagan jobs. 405 00:28:11,194 --> 00:28:13,230 And you stole your landlady's wedding dress... 406 00:28:13,314 --> 00:28:16,545 which is the only endearing thing about you, so talk to us. 407 00:28:19,034 --> 00:28:21,707 Listen, you public pawn. My attorney's on his way. 408 00:28:21,794 --> 00:28:24,866 We both know I'll be out on bail. 409 00:28:24,954 --> 00:28:27,149 So take off these cuffs and open the door! 410 00:28:27,234 --> 00:28:32,183 I wouldn't worry about the door. Scum who'd represent you would ooze under it. 411 00:28:32,274 --> 00:28:35,903 Joe, why don't you go get a couple cups of coffee? 412 00:28:35,994 --> 00:28:38,633 I could use one. You want anything? 413 00:28:38,714 --> 00:28:42,389 Chewing gum, Snickers bar, and my attorney, badge kisser! 414 00:28:57,834 --> 00:28:59,426 Well, Emil. 415 00:29:00,994 --> 00:29:03,064 It's just you... 416 00:29:04,154 --> 00:29:06,270 and me... 417 00:29:06,354 --> 00:29:08,231 and your balls... 418 00:29:08,314 --> 00:29:10,430 and this drawer. 419 00:29:15,354 --> 00:29:20,223 - [Drawer Slamming] - [Emil Screaming] 420 00:29:26,874 --> 00:29:28,466 [Friday] 4:15 p.m. 421 00:29:28,554 --> 00:29:32,866 By the time I had returned with coffee, Muzz was singing like Beverly Sills. 422 00:29:32,954 --> 00:29:35,912 He had been planning to attend a meeting that night at the Pagan clubhouse... 423 00:29:35,994 --> 00:29:39,111 but he refused to divulge the time or location of that meeting. 424 00:29:39,194 --> 00:29:41,424 Muzz, let's run through it again. 425 00:29:41,514 --> 00:29:45,109 You say you're a Pagan, but you work for Jerry Caesar. That makes you a plant. 426 00:29:45,194 --> 00:29:47,708 Make it easy on yourself. Lead us to the stolen magazines. 427 00:29:47,794 --> 00:29:49,864 Jump on this and spin, cop. 428 00:29:49,954 --> 00:29:52,991 I'm not saying another word until my attorney gets here! 429 00:29:53,074 --> 00:29:54,268 Joe... 430 00:29:54,354 --> 00:29:58,632 wouldn't a couple of Danishes go good with this coffee? 431 00:30:06,914 --> 00:30:10,668 At 7:13 p.m., Captain Gannon authorized us to stake out Muzz's clubhouse... 432 00:30:10,754 --> 00:30:13,826 Iocated in the ecologically-balanced San Gabriel Mountains. 433 00:30:13,914 --> 00:30:16,872 When a code-5 authorization for undercover surveillance is approved... 434 00:30:16,954 --> 00:30:20,708 officers proceed to the building where the department has research... 435 00:30:20,794 --> 00:30:25,424 on the precise behaviour and dress of today's average street gang member. 436 00:30:30,914 --> 00:30:34,190 Friday, I think we finally found your look. 437 00:30:34,274 --> 00:30:35,787 9:56 p.m. 438 00:30:35,874 --> 00:30:38,991 We were issued appropriate apparel and withdrew from receiving... 439 00:30:39,074 --> 00:30:42,749 one distressed 1985 unmarked Ford sedan. 440 00:30:42,834 --> 00:30:46,713 It's right up here, off highway 61! 441 00:30:46,794 --> 00:30:48,989 Yeah. Probably some rat-hole roadhouse... 442 00:30:49,074 --> 00:30:52,384 where they watch TV and suck beers all day. 443 00:30:52,474 --> 00:30:54,749 [Siren Wailing] 444 00:30:54,834 --> 00:30:59,350 Uh-oh. Highway patrol. And they're pulling us over. 445 00:31:14,634 --> 00:31:17,546 - Licence and registration. - What was the offence? 446 00:31:17,634 --> 00:31:20,102 - It's okay. They're Pagans. - Yeah? 447 00:31:20,194 --> 00:31:24,187 Yeah. Show 'em your card, Muzz, Emil. 448 00:31:24,274 --> 00:31:26,788 Yeah, that's right. That's me. 449 00:31:26,874 --> 00:31:29,104 Muzz, Emil. Emil Muzz. 450 00:31:29,194 --> 00:31:31,469 I've been sick. 451 00:31:31,554 --> 00:31:35,069 Sorry to bother you, fellas. We can't be too careful, huh? 452 00:31:35,154 --> 00:31:37,429 We don't want any non-Pagans around here. 453 00:31:37,514 --> 00:31:39,982 Especially tonight, right? Huh? 454 00:31:51,314 --> 00:31:54,226 Follow us, fellas. The party's just starting! 455 00:32:00,994 --> 00:32:02,473 Bogus cops! 456 00:32:02,554 --> 00:32:05,910 No matter how many times I see that, it never ceases to disgust me. 457 00:32:05,994 --> 00:32:09,509 People dressing up in strange clothes pretending to be who they're not? 458 00:32:09,594 --> 00:32:12,154 Exactly! That kind of behaviour... 459 00:32:12,234 --> 00:32:14,350 Just get out that list of stolen black and whites. 460 00:32:18,594 --> 00:32:21,745 9-9-9-4-7-4. Oh, yeah, it's hot, all right. 461 00:32:21,834 --> 00:32:23,028 Yeah. 462 00:32:35,634 --> 00:32:37,989 Howdy. I'm Emil Muzz, and I'm a Pagan. 463 00:32:38,074 --> 00:32:40,872 [Laughing] 464 00:32:52,954 --> 00:32:55,388 Good evening, Pagans. 465 00:32:55,474 --> 00:32:57,829 Don't forget your goat leggings. 466 00:33:10,714 --> 00:33:12,944 Must be every other stolen police vehicle on our hot sheet. 467 00:33:13,034 --> 00:33:15,150 We're onto something here. 468 00:33:15,234 --> 00:33:17,270 You think so? 469 00:33:20,194 --> 00:33:22,389 - I see school is out. - Yeah. 470 00:33:22,474 --> 00:33:26,308 All I can think of is 38 kids standing individually on Ionely corners... 471 00:33:26,394 --> 00:33:28,589 waiting for a bus that will never come. 472 00:33:28,674 --> 00:33:31,632 Put your goat leggings on and try to blend in. 473 00:33:36,554 --> 00:33:39,591 [Barking] 474 00:33:43,514 --> 00:33:46,074 - Put it to sleep. - Down, boys. 475 00:33:46,154 --> 00:33:49,988 [Electricity Zapping] 476 00:33:50,074 --> 00:33:53,225 You have to admire their techniques in crowd control. 477 00:33:53,314 --> 00:33:57,432 Yeah. Cosy little group. Just like your local Rotarians. 478 00:33:57,514 --> 00:34:01,712 Listen, we get a little wild at times, sure... 479 00:34:01,794 --> 00:34:04,024 but nothing like this. 480 00:34:16,714 --> 00:34:21,629 I'd say this is shaping up to be a little more than a series of robberies. 481 00:34:21,714 --> 00:34:25,787 [Friday] "People against goodness and normalcy." 482 00:34:25,874 --> 00:34:28,024 P-A-G-A-N. 483 00:34:28,114 --> 00:34:29,672 Pagan. 484 00:34:29,754 --> 00:34:31,267 Nice work, Joe. 485 00:34:31,354 --> 00:34:36,382 Ah, here are two who have not yet sipped the nectar of Shaitan. 486 00:34:43,794 --> 00:34:48,072 Small surprise before the ceremony starts? 487 00:34:48,154 --> 00:34:50,588 Why not? 488 00:34:53,274 --> 00:34:55,469 - You? - I had a big lunch. 489 00:34:57,194 --> 00:35:01,073 }} [Music Playing] 490 00:35:23,954 --> 00:35:27,071 [Horn Playing Call To Order] 491 00:35:28,314 --> 00:35:31,989 I, your High Priest... 492 00:35:32,074 --> 00:35:35,783 of living Pagan perfection... 493 00:35:35,874 --> 00:35:40,072 do call the name Gathool! 494 00:35:40,154 --> 00:35:42,349 [Pagans] Do call the name Gathool! 495 00:35:43,274 --> 00:35:45,026 Eelbazel! 496 00:35:45,114 --> 00:35:47,867 Ignodrohoth! 497 00:35:47,954 --> 00:35:49,672 Shaitan! 498 00:35:49,754 --> 00:35:53,224 Shaitan! Shaitan! Shaitan! 499 00:35:53,914 --> 00:35:55,905 Prepare the virgin. 500 00:35:55,994 --> 00:35:59,748 [Cheering] 501 00:35:59,834 --> 00:36:03,110 "Prepare the virgin." I don't like the sound of that. 502 00:36:03,194 --> 00:36:05,549 Let's just hope they're not referring to you. 503 00:36:06,594 --> 00:36:08,266 With this bat... 504 00:36:08,354 --> 00:36:11,107 I do consecrate. 505 00:36:11,194 --> 00:36:12,946 With this bat, he does consecrate. 506 00:36:13,034 --> 00:36:16,106 - The Madagascar Bat from the zoo. - Good eye. 507 00:36:16,194 --> 00:36:18,992 With this lion's mane... 508 00:36:19,074 --> 00:36:20,632 I do consecrate. 509 00:36:20,714 --> 00:36:24,912 With this lion's mane, he does consecrate. 510 00:36:24,994 --> 00:36:29,272 All that's missing is one humongous, 30-foot, groundhog-gulping reptile. 511 00:36:29,354 --> 00:36:32,630 For the final touch to our brew tonight... 512 00:36:32,714 --> 00:36:36,912 a pristine virgin in a gown of white. 513 00:36:48,954 --> 00:36:51,309 Evil bringeth here our plea. 514 00:36:51,394 --> 00:36:54,113 She's as pure as she can be. 515 00:36:54,194 --> 00:36:56,867 White and clean as driven snow. 516 00:36:56,954 --> 00:36:59,388 From Orange County, here we go! 517 00:36:59,474 --> 00:37:01,988 [Cheering] 518 00:37:04,314 --> 00:37:06,987 Two to one, that's Enid Borden's wedding dress. 519 00:37:09,034 --> 00:37:12,629 Twenty to one, Enid Borden never looked that beautiful on her wedding day. 520 00:37:12,714 --> 00:37:14,784 Virgin! Virgin! 521 00:37:14,874 --> 00:37:17,911 Virgin! Virgin! 522 00:37:17,994 --> 00:37:20,588 [Screaming] 523 00:37:21,954 --> 00:37:24,024 - Friday! - Let's move! 524 00:37:31,434 --> 00:37:33,345 Help! 525 00:37:33,434 --> 00:37:34,787 Can you swim? 526 00:37:34,874 --> 00:37:37,308 Red Cross. Junior Lifesaver with clusters. 527 00:37:37,394 --> 00:37:39,305 Silly me. 528 00:37:45,154 --> 00:37:48,271 - Friday! - Streebek? 529 00:37:48,354 --> 00:37:50,663 I found the snake. 530 00:37:50,754 --> 00:37:53,188 Help! Help! 531 00:37:54,234 --> 00:37:56,304 - Help! - Hang in there. I'm coming. 532 00:37:56,394 --> 00:37:59,033 What goes on? Who are those two clowns? 533 00:37:59,114 --> 00:38:01,423 Who are you? 534 00:38:01,514 --> 00:38:04,267 Friday, Streebek, Los Angeles police officers. 535 00:38:08,354 --> 00:38:11,744 - Where are you from? - Anaheim. 536 00:38:13,354 --> 00:38:15,424 Her favourite colour is blue. 537 00:38:15,514 --> 00:38:17,584 Jesus Christ! I'm about to be eaten! 538 00:38:19,914 --> 00:38:23,623 Some big guys grabbed me off the street last night. 539 00:38:25,194 --> 00:38:30,268 - Were you sexually assaulted? - No, thank God. They needed a virgin. 540 00:38:31,274 --> 00:38:33,583 You're still a virgin? 541 00:38:34,834 --> 00:38:37,428 My hat's off to you, ma'am. Hope you stay that way. 542 00:38:37,514 --> 00:38:40,426 [Cheering] 543 00:38:40,514 --> 00:38:44,143 Streebek, quick! Do something. It's constricting. 544 00:38:44,234 --> 00:38:46,873 Distract it. 545 00:39:11,754 --> 00:39:13,426 Anybody need boots? 546 00:39:17,154 --> 00:39:18,473 Stop them! 547 00:39:18,554 --> 00:39:19,907 Go! 548 00:39:33,674 --> 00:39:36,552 Kill the good! Kill the good! 549 00:39:36,634 --> 00:39:40,673 Kill the good! Kill the good! Kill the good! Kill the good! 550 00:39:40,754 --> 00:39:43,632 Kill the good! Kill the good! Kill the good! 551 00:39:43,714 --> 00:39:45,272 You are under arrest. 552 00:39:47,354 --> 00:39:49,072 You can remain silent. 553 00:39:49,154 --> 00:39:53,625 If you waive that right, anything you say can and will be used against you. 554 00:39:53,714 --> 00:39:56,387 For crying out loud! 555 00:40:08,154 --> 00:40:10,543 How come his is so much bigger than yours? 556 00:40:10,634 --> 00:40:12,864 - Miss? - The gun. 557 00:40:12,954 --> 00:40:15,707 I've never needed more. 558 00:40:31,114 --> 00:40:33,025 Come on, Joe! 559 00:40:41,874 --> 00:40:44,149 Gosh! I'm terribly sorry! 560 00:40:52,394 --> 00:40:54,624 Our car! We can steal it back. 561 00:40:54,714 --> 00:40:56,272 Right. 562 00:40:56,354 --> 00:40:58,151 I'll drive. 563 00:41:00,314 --> 00:41:02,908 Forget it. We're responsible for a civilian's safety. 564 00:41:02,994 --> 00:41:05,906 And frankly, you don't belong behind the wheel of a car. 565 00:41:14,634 --> 00:41:16,829 Hang on and keep your head down. 566 00:41:28,474 --> 00:41:30,066 Good driving! 567 00:41:30,154 --> 00:41:32,668 Yes, you were wonderful. 568 00:41:32,754 --> 00:41:35,951 Excuse me, miss. I never did catch your name. 569 00:41:36,034 --> 00:41:39,504 Swail. Connie Swail. 570 00:41:39,594 --> 00:41:42,745 - Your name is Friday? - Joe. 571 00:41:42,834 --> 00:41:44,745 Joe. 572 00:41:46,394 --> 00:41:48,032 Joe. 573 00:41:52,754 --> 00:41:54,824 Pep. 574 00:41:54,914 --> 00:41:56,586 Pep Streebek. 575 00:41:57,674 --> 00:42:00,029 Glad to meet you. 576 00:42:08,234 --> 00:42:11,306 [Friday] You certainly have a beautiful home, Miss Swail. 577 00:42:11,394 --> 00:42:14,864 You bet. Can the Beaver come out and play? 578 00:42:25,274 --> 00:42:27,105 - [Streebek] Good night. - [Connie] Good night. 579 00:42:34,074 --> 00:42:36,668 Will I ever see you again, Joe? 580 00:42:36,754 --> 00:42:39,427 Absolutely. You're our main witness. 581 00:42:39,514 --> 00:42:42,153 We'd like you to come downtown, take a look at the mug books... 582 00:42:42,234 --> 00:42:44,543 see if you can make a positive I.D. On the man you saw. 583 00:42:44,634 --> 00:42:47,148 I'll have a policewoman come here tonight, keep an eye on the house... 584 00:42:47,234 --> 00:42:49,304 and bring you downtown to Parker Center tomorrow. 585 00:42:49,394 --> 00:42:50,952 Here's my card. 586 00:42:52,074 --> 00:42:55,111 You'll be needed for further questioning. 587 00:43:03,674 --> 00:43:06,472 I don't know why, but... 588 00:43:06,554 --> 00:43:10,229 somehow I feel I could tell you anything, Joe. 589 00:43:14,474 --> 00:43:17,671 Friday, January 9, 3:12 a.m. 590 00:43:17,754 --> 00:43:20,587 We returned from Anaheim where we had dropped off the virgin Connie Swail. 591 00:43:20,674 --> 00:43:23,666 I telephoned Captain Gannon at home, waking him. 592 00:43:23,754 --> 00:43:26,552 After absorbing minutes of gratuitous verbal abuse... 593 00:43:26,634 --> 00:43:29,592 I requested him to meet us as soon as possible at his office. 594 00:43:30,714 --> 00:43:32,272 Come in. 595 00:43:32,354 --> 00:43:34,470 - Evening, Captain. - Captain. 596 00:43:36,074 --> 00:43:37,951 3:35 a.m. 597 00:43:38,034 --> 00:43:40,992 We related the details of our successful follow-up on the Pagan robberies... 598 00:43:41,074 --> 00:43:44,225 and briefed Captain Gannon on the outlandish festival we had attended... 599 00:43:44,314 --> 00:43:46,384 even going so far as to demonstrate the goat dance... 600 00:43:46,474 --> 00:43:49,511 we had engaged in as part of our undercover role. 601 00:43:52,274 --> 00:43:56,313 This music was pulsating over and over again. 602 00:43:59,594 --> 00:44:01,186 Stop it! 603 00:44:01,274 --> 00:44:03,788 At this point, Captain Gannon became quite upset. 604 00:44:03,874 --> 00:44:05,830 He accused us of being on a drinking binge... 605 00:44:05,914 --> 00:44:09,145 and based on our appearance, seemed reluctant to contact the sheriff... 606 00:44:09,234 --> 00:44:11,065 to investigate the area. 607 00:44:11,154 --> 00:44:14,544 Captain, call the sheriff's department. I have the directions to the compound. 608 00:44:21,754 --> 00:44:23,267 Hay fever? 609 00:44:23,354 --> 00:44:25,504 Illegal hallucinogenic love drugs. 610 00:44:25,594 --> 00:44:28,711 The Pagans were taking them. We tried to fit in. 611 00:44:28,794 --> 00:44:31,149 If it weren't for the drugs, we couldn't have gotten away from the snake. 612 00:44:31,234 --> 00:44:32,952 The snake! 613 00:44:33,034 --> 00:44:36,709 I forgot about the snake. How big did you say it was again? 614 00:44:36,794 --> 00:44:38,193 - 30 feet. - 20 feet. 615 00:44:38,274 --> 00:44:42,665 We'd like to have you come to the crime scene and visually verify our report. 616 00:44:42,754 --> 00:44:44,665 If you could call Commissioner Kirkpatrick... 617 00:44:44,754 --> 00:44:47,951 we believe this incident, because of its magnitude, is worthy of her attention. 618 00:44:48,034 --> 00:44:51,151 Do you have any idea what time it is? 619 00:44:51,234 --> 00:44:53,350 - Yes, sir. - Don't ask him that, Captain. 620 00:44:53,434 --> 00:44:57,222 - It's 4:27 a.m., sir. - He lives for that. It's in his blood. 621 00:44:59,354 --> 00:45:01,743 Thursday, January 8, 5:45 a.m. 622 00:45:01,834 --> 00:45:04,871 Having gained Captain Gannon's grudging agreement to contact the commissioner... 623 00:45:04,954 --> 00:45:07,388 and proceed with us to the San Gabriel Mountains... 624 00:45:07,474 --> 00:45:11,103 we eventually arrived at the scene of the previous night's debauchery. 625 00:45:18,514 --> 00:45:21,950 What is this? Some sort of juvenile cop humour? 626 00:45:22,034 --> 00:45:24,594 And where the hell is this supposed Pagan festival? 627 00:45:24,674 --> 00:45:28,303 I can't understand it. There was a huge screen with Pagan vision written on it. 628 00:45:28,394 --> 00:45:31,670 Yeah! Yeah! This was the hole that was filled with water. 629 00:45:31,754 --> 00:45:35,383 We had to dive in to save the virgin being eaten by the giant snake. 630 00:45:35,474 --> 00:45:38,068 Who are these painted cretins? 631 00:45:38,154 --> 00:45:42,033 - Two of my best men, ma'am. - That's right. That's right. 632 00:45:42,114 --> 00:45:44,389 They're heading up the Pagan investigation. 633 00:45:44,474 --> 00:45:48,592 They were heading up the investigation. Now you may consider them off it. 634 00:45:48,674 --> 00:45:51,188 - But, Commissioner? - Gannon. 635 00:45:51,274 --> 00:45:53,708 What am I going to tell the press? 636 00:45:53,794 --> 00:45:57,150 That now we are investigating invisible crimes on the word of two... 637 00:45:57,234 --> 00:45:58,906 trick-or-treaters? 638 00:45:58,994 --> 00:46:02,145 You are a civilian and probably unaware the department's "regs"... 639 00:46:02,234 --> 00:46:05,271 authorize us to wear specialized apparel during a simulation surveillance. 640 00:46:06,234 --> 00:46:10,625 - I assume you were once a civilian. - Yes, ma'am. 641 00:46:10,714 --> 00:46:14,912 If you do not drop that insubordinate tone, you'll be one again soon. 642 00:46:17,394 --> 00:46:19,112 Wait a minute, Friday. 643 00:46:20,514 --> 00:46:23,074 I've never known you to act this way. 644 00:46:23,154 --> 00:46:27,033 Certainly not the behaviour your Uncle Joe would have approved of. 645 00:46:27,114 --> 00:46:30,106 You know the kind of man he was. 646 00:46:30,954 --> 00:46:34,947 I suggest you try to be a little more like him from now on. 647 00:46:35,034 --> 00:46:36,911 Yeah, sir. I'll try. 648 00:46:37,914 --> 00:46:38,949 Good. 649 00:46:55,034 --> 00:46:58,629 I'm sorry, Joe. He's not in any of these. 650 00:46:58,714 --> 00:47:00,705 And I'll never forget his face. 651 00:47:01,714 --> 00:47:06,549 Okay. I guess this officially closes my end of the investigation. 652 00:47:10,434 --> 00:47:13,744 As far as your personal safety is concerned, I wouldn't worry. 653 00:47:13,834 --> 00:47:16,632 That guy's probably 200 miles from here by now. 654 00:47:25,314 --> 00:47:29,512 10:30 a.m. I picked up Streebek at his sanitationally-questionable commune... 655 00:47:29,594 --> 00:47:32,552 his apartment building in the "come as you are" section of Venice Beach. 656 00:47:45,594 --> 00:47:48,586 The door was opened by Police Officer Betsy Blees... 657 00:47:48,674 --> 00:47:52,826 who had dropped by to chat about more effective methods of law enforcement. 658 00:47:52,914 --> 00:47:55,269 They'd been playing a version of good-cop, bad-cop. 659 00:47:55,354 --> 00:47:59,393 Though I was unable to fathom the rules, it seemed Streebek had lost this round. 660 00:48:00,634 --> 00:48:02,511 Playtime was over... 661 00:48:02,594 --> 00:48:05,062 and it was back to routine duty for me and Pep Streebek. 662 00:48:05,154 --> 00:48:10,069 Joe, I suddenly got very hungry. Let's grab some sushi. 663 00:48:10,154 --> 00:48:13,942 We're late for our watch already, and raw tuna isn't my bag. 664 00:48:32,674 --> 00:48:34,710 My hat was in that car. 665 00:48:34,794 --> 00:48:38,423 - I can tell who reblocked it for you. - Pagans. 666 00:48:38,514 --> 00:48:39,867 I need coffee. 667 00:48:39,954 --> 00:48:42,468 I know where they serve the best in town. Come on. 668 00:48:42,554 --> 00:48:46,467 }} [Rock And Roll Playing] 669 00:49:10,954 --> 00:49:12,387 Ma'am. 670 00:49:21,754 --> 00:49:25,952 I hate to admit it, but for once in your life you're right. This is good coffee. 671 00:49:26,034 --> 00:49:28,150 You should try the French toast. 672 00:49:28,234 --> 00:49:30,384 Joe, lend me 20 bucks. 673 00:49:30,474 --> 00:49:33,910 Do I know you long enough to lend you money? I don't think so. 674 00:49:33,994 --> 00:49:35,825 We've been ordered off the Pagans... 675 00:49:35,914 --> 00:49:39,304 but that doesn't mean we can't follow up on one of their thefts. 676 00:49:39,394 --> 00:49:42,704 The trichlornitromethane and the pseudo-halogenic compound cyanogen. 677 00:49:42,794 --> 00:49:47,549 There's one illegal lab in the city with the capacity, personnel and equipment... 678 00:49:47,634 --> 00:49:49,704 to mix those two chemicals into a deadly gas. 679 00:49:49,794 --> 00:49:53,548 Narcotics has been waiting for months to bust this place. We can do it tonight. 680 00:49:53,634 --> 00:49:56,228 Forget it. It's out of our jurisdiction now. 681 00:49:56,314 --> 00:49:59,829 But this won't be a Pagan investigation. We can bring Narc in on it. 682 00:49:59,914 --> 00:50:04,226 Police work is a matter of us against them, not "Mother, may I?" 683 00:50:04,314 --> 00:50:08,148 Hi, Kay. How are you? I could find out where they set up the lab this week. 684 00:50:08,234 --> 00:50:11,465 - Oh? How? - By you lending me 20 bucks. 685 00:50:19,194 --> 00:50:23,233 [Friday] 6:30 p.m. After witnessing the gratuitous sex display... 686 00:50:23,314 --> 00:50:26,351 at Streebek's favourite coffeehouse and an outlay of $50 by me... 687 00:50:26,434 --> 00:50:30,632 to one of his old informants, I proceeded by Celebrity Cab... 688 00:50:30,714 --> 00:50:33,353 to 3396834108th Street... 689 00:50:33,434 --> 00:50:37,143 an illegal drug lab disguised as a legitimate place of business. 690 00:50:38,234 --> 00:50:40,065 Streebek had gone to seek assistance from friends... 691 00:50:40,154 --> 00:50:42,907 in the undercover narcotics unit where he used to work. 692 00:50:42,994 --> 00:50:44,825 It didn't surprise me that he was late... 693 00:50:44,914 --> 00:50:46,791 even though he knew I was waiting in a part of town... 694 00:50:46,874 --> 00:50:49,866 where it's not advisable to stand around whistling. 695 00:50:49,954 --> 00:50:53,583 }} [Whistling] 696 00:50:55,394 --> 00:50:57,350 Hey, zipper-head! 697 00:51:00,754 --> 00:51:02,790 Up late tonight, kids? 698 00:51:02,874 --> 00:51:04,751 Let's have one of your smokes. 699 00:51:04,834 --> 00:51:07,189 It's an unhealthy habit I don't encourage in others. 700 00:51:07,274 --> 00:51:09,390 Get smart. Give it up by not taking it up. 701 00:51:09,474 --> 00:51:11,305 Thanks for the public service announcement. 702 00:51:11,394 --> 00:51:14,625 Hand over your money, and I'll go buy my own smokes. 703 00:51:14,714 --> 00:51:17,706 If you're that strapped for cash, I'd suggest a part-time job. 704 00:51:17,794 --> 00:51:19,625 How 'bout a paper route? 705 00:51:19,714 --> 00:51:21,944 It builds character. It did in my case. 706 00:51:22,034 --> 00:51:25,868 Hey, we're not askin' you for your money, Ozzie. 707 00:51:25,954 --> 00:51:28,263 - No? - No. 708 00:51:28,354 --> 00:51:33,030 - Are you threatening me, son? - [Hoodlums] Ooh! 709 00:52:03,754 --> 00:52:06,029 And on a school night, too. 710 00:52:24,994 --> 00:52:26,507 Hit the deck! 711 00:52:59,994 --> 00:53:02,110 I can't quite place it. 712 00:53:03,474 --> 00:53:04,827 It tastes like... 713 00:53:04,914 --> 00:53:06,427 Milk. 714 00:53:06,514 --> 00:53:09,790 Just like the sign said on the building before you obliterated it. 715 00:53:09,874 --> 00:53:12,434 Fresh, wholesome milk. 716 00:53:12,514 --> 00:53:14,982 You probably love this stuff, don't you? 717 00:53:15,074 --> 00:53:17,713 Vitamin D, calcium... 718 00:53:17,794 --> 00:53:20,786 essential for good strong bones and healthy teeth. 719 00:53:20,874 --> 00:53:24,503 But that's probably all Greek to you, isn't it, Mr Gingivitis? 720 00:53:27,674 --> 00:53:29,551 7:15 p.m. 721 00:53:29,634 --> 00:53:33,627 After explaining to the milk factory they could not take legal action... 722 00:53:33,714 --> 00:53:35,625 since we had properly obtained a search warrant... 723 00:53:35,714 --> 00:53:37,545 our apology was reluctantly accepted... 724 00:53:37,634 --> 00:53:40,990 and Streebek and I were on our way back to Parker Center. 725 00:53:41,074 --> 00:53:43,668 After losing two previous vehicles we had been issued... 726 00:53:43,754 --> 00:53:46,268 the only car the department would release to us at this point... 727 00:53:46,354 --> 00:53:49,152 was an unmarked 1987 Yugo... 728 00:53:49,234 --> 00:53:53,273 a Yugoslavian import donated as a test vehicle by that country... 729 00:53:53,354 --> 00:53:56,949 and reflecting the cutting edge of Serbo-Croatian technology. 730 00:54:31,754 --> 00:54:34,791 I've been thinking. Maybe your informant was right. 731 00:54:34,874 --> 00:54:36,751 Maybe the Pagans anticipated our raid... 732 00:54:36,834 --> 00:54:39,302 and mixed those chemicals into a deadly gas before we got there. 733 00:54:39,394 --> 00:54:41,954 Nuh-huh. 734 00:54:42,034 --> 00:54:44,389 - Friday? - That's me. 735 00:54:44,474 --> 00:54:46,305 What do you like to do for fun? 736 00:54:47,674 --> 00:54:50,427 I'm your partner, and I don't even know where you live. 737 00:54:50,514 --> 00:54:52,345 That's right, mister, you don't. 738 00:54:55,234 --> 00:54:58,351 Streebek, why are you always looking at your watch? 739 00:54:58,434 --> 00:55:00,265 I'm watching my TV. 740 00:55:00,354 --> 00:55:04,711 You don't like my music, you don't want to talk, so I'm watching my TV. 741 00:55:04,794 --> 00:55:06,671 We're at the Law and Order Foundation dinner... 742 00:55:06,754 --> 00:55:10,667 where Los Angeles mayor, Peter Parvin, is fighting for his political survival. 743 00:55:10,754 --> 00:55:14,508 Leading that attack again is Police Commissioner Jane Kirkpatrick. 744 00:55:14,594 --> 00:55:16,903 Let's hear what she has to say. 745 00:55:16,994 --> 00:55:21,465 This rampaging gang of Pagans has made a mockery of city administration. 746 00:55:21,554 --> 00:55:24,512 Vehicles from the fire and police departments are stolen in daylight. 747 00:55:24,594 --> 00:55:29,714 Deadly toxic chemicals are on the loose. What next, Mr Mayor? 748 00:55:29,794 --> 00:55:31,705 In my opinion... 749 00:55:31,794 --> 00:55:34,945 Mayor Parvin should consider the welfare of his constituents... 750 00:55:35,034 --> 00:55:37,229 and do the honourable thing: 751 00:55:37,314 --> 00:55:39,111 Resign now. 752 00:55:41,954 --> 00:55:45,105 You know, I think you and the commissioner would make a cute couple. 753 00:55:45,194 --> 00:55:47,071 You both keep your jaws locked. 754 00:55:47,154 --> 00:55:50,305 Plus you two share that curious affection for hats. 755 00:55:50,394 --> 00:55:52,749 May I remind you that Commissioner Kirkpatrick... 756 00:55:52,834 --> 00:55:55,473 threatened to turn me into a civilian? 757 00:55:55,554 --> 00:55:58,352 Yeah, I know. There was a gleam in her eye, though. 758 00:55:58,434 --> 00:56:00,106 Put a clamp on it! 759 00:56:00,194 --> 00:56:03,152 I have never been elected to public office. 760 00:56:03,234 --> 00:56:07,625 I have always sought the approval of a somewhat higher power... 761 00:56:07,714 --> 00:56:09,147 for my actions. 762 00:56:09,234 --> 00:56:12,112 The sad truth... 763 00:56:12,194 --> 00:56:14,833 is that we live here now in a city... 764 00:56:14,914 --> 00:56:18,827 where even a gross pornographer like Jerry Caesar... 765 00:56:18,914 --> 00:56:21,986 is not immune from lawlessness! 766 00:56:22,074 --> 00:56:25,862 With this grim fact in mind... 767 00:56:25,954 --> 00:56:29,344 I am relieved to announce tonight... 768 00:56:29,434 --> 00:56:32,744 that even Mr Caesar himself has bravely decided... 769 00:56:32,834 --> 00:56:35,746 to strike a blow in our common fight against crime! 770 00:56:35,834 --> 00:56:37,711 Yes, sir! Yes, indeed! 771 00:56:39,234 --> 00:56:42,510 This guy knows God personally. I hear they play racquetball together. 772 00:56:42,594 --> 00:56:45,870 Just chuckle away. I don't hear God laughing. 773 00:56:45,954 --> 00:56:48,263 You will once He sees your haircut. 774 00:56:49,234 --> 00:56:53,785 My friends, in an unprecedented gesture of atonement... 775 00:56:53,874 --> 00:56:57,503 Mr Caesar has agreed to donate the sum... 776 00:56:57,594 --> 00:57:02,190 of $1 million to my Moral Advance Movement. 777 00:57:06,074 --> 00:57:07,951 [Friday] 7:52 p.m. 778 00:57:08,034 --> 00:57:10,992 After witnessing the raging political turmoil on Streebek's puny TV... 779 00:57:11,074 --> 00:57:14,225 I was really looking forward to the end of a rotten day. 780 00:57:14,314 --> 00:57:18,512 - Well, want to get something to eat? - Not tonight. I have plans. 781 00:57:18,594 --> 00:57:21,984 You do? What? What? 782 00:57:22,074 --> 00:57:25,225 Where do you go? What is her name? Does she have a sister? 783 00:57:25,314 --> 00:57:27,384 Good night, Streebek. 784 00:57:30,034 --> 00:57:33,106 Truth is, I don't care where you go. 785 00:57:36,994 --> 00:57:39,030 Yeah, I do. I gotta know. 786 00:58:05,474 --> 00:58:07,305 I knew it. 787 00:58:07,394 --> 00:58:09,783 It's Nightmare on Elm Street. 788 00:58:09,874 --> 00:58:13,389 - That would make him Freddie Krueger. - [Coyote Howling] 789 00:58:14,714 --> 00:58:17,103 We're gonna be driving along some night and the lighting's gonna be bad. 790 00:58:17,194 --> 00:58:21,153 He's gonna mistake me for some pretty coed, and out comes that claw. 791 00:58:21,234 --> 00:58:25,352 [Snarling, Screaming] 792 00:58:26,394 --> 00:58:28,350 170 pounds of ground chuck. 793 00:58:30,914 --> 00:58:35,783 Who knows what kind of thrill-seeking hose monster he's got stashed in there? 794 00:58:42,274 --> 00:58:45,710 My God, he's dating Mother Goose! Hey, Joe! 795 00:58:45,794 --> 00:58:48,911 Streebek, what are you doing here? 796 00:58:48,994 --> 00:58:52,225 - Who is this nice-Iooking young man? - He's nobody. 797 00:58:52,314 --> 00:58:54,032 My partner. 798 00:58:54,114 --> 00:58:57,072 Streebek, introduce yourself to my grandmother, quickly. 799 00:58:57,154 --> 00:59:00,590 Well, what a pleasant surprise. 800 00:59:00,674 --> 00:59:02,505 Granny Friday. 801 00:59:02,594 --> 00:59:05,950 She's my maternal grandmother. Her name is Mundy. 802 00:59:07,194 --> 00:59:10,345 Why don't we discuss this over dinner? It's my birthday. 803 00:59:10,434 --> 00:59:14,507 We're going to the Brown Derby. Do join us, Detective Swayback. 804 00:59:14,594 --> 00:59:16,425 - Streebek. - Pep. 805 00:59:16,514 --> 00:59:18,425 I don't think it's a good idea. 806 00:59:19,154 --> 00:59:21,873 - Why not, Joe? - Yeah, Joe, why not? 807 00:59:21,954 --> 00:59:27,074 I've invited someone already to join us, and you don't know her. 808 00:59:27,154 --> 00:59:28,428 - Her? - Her? 809 00:59:28,514 --> 00:59:31,586 Joe! You have a date? 810 00:59:36,474 --> 00:59:38,942 I'm so proud! 811 00:59:42,234 --> 00:59:45,544 Well, it looks like I have a date, too. 812 00:59:45,634 --> 00:59:48,626 Granny Mundy, may I escort you to Joe's car? 813 00:59:48,714 --> 00:59:52,070 I'd be privileged, Detective Startrek. 814 00:59:55,994 --> 00:59:59,953 9:00 p.m. Exactly one night after witnessing the satanic cult rally... 815 01:00:00,034 --> 01:00:04,346 I escorted my grandmother to her favourite restaurant, the Brown Derby. 816 01:00:04,434 --> 01:00:09,064 There was someone I wanted her to meet, and it wasn't Detective Streebek. 817 01:00:09,154 --> 01:00:11,463 Sergeant Friday, your table is ready. 818 01:00:11,554 --> 01:00:14,273 I took the liberty of pouring the Dom Perignon. 819 01:00:14,354 --> 01:00:15,753 What Dom Perignon? 820 01:00:15,834 --> 01:00:19,907 I stopped and phoned in an order in honour of Granny Mundy's birthday. 821 01:00:19,994 --> 01:00:22,906 You'd want her to have the most expensive kind, wouldn't you? 822 01:00:22,994 --> 01:00:26,828 What a thoughtful gesture! Don't you think so, Joe? 823 01:00:26,914 --> 01:00:30,111 Yes, Granny. It was very considerate of him. 824 01:00:38,954 --> 01:00:42,185 Hello, Joe. Guess I'm early. 825 01:00:42,274 --> 01:00:44,105 I was kind of excited. 826 01:00:44,194 --> 01:00:46,185 You sly minx! 827 01:00:47,834 --> 01:00:50,553 I'd like you to meet my maternal grandmother, Mrs. Grace Mundy. 828 01:00:50,634 --> 01:00:52,545 Granny, this is the virgin Connie Swail. 829 01:00:54,434 --> 01:00:55,787 You're kidding? 830 01:00:55,874 --> 01:00:57,705 Hi. 831 01:00:57,794 --> 01:01:01,343 Well, allow me. The place of honour for Granny. 832 01:01:01,434 --> 01:01:03,664 - Thank you. - Certainly. 833 01:01:06,114 --> 01:01:08,674 And if I may, a toast. 834 01:01:08,754 --> 01:01:10,153 To Granny Mundy. 835 01:01:10,234 --> 01:01:13,306 May you live as long as you want but never want as long as you live. 836 01:01:15,234 --> 01:01:16,633 Hear! Hear! 837 01:01:19,874 --> 01:01:22,342 Ahhh. 838 01:01:22,434 --> 01:01:24,584 This is such a happy restaurant. 839 01:01:24,674 --> 01:01:27,552 Commissioner Kirkpatrick, how nice to see you again. 840 01:01:27,634 --> 01:01:30,023 Reverend Whirley, it's a privilege. 841 01:01:32,114 --> 01:01:33,945 An aperitif, perhaps? 842 01:01:34,034 --> 01:01:37,231 I once saw Alan Hale, Jr. In here. 843 01:01:37,314 --> 01:01:40,704 Alan Hale, Jr! Wow! "Gilligan, little buddy!" 844 01:01:40,794 --> 01:01:45,390 Don't order anything more expensive than the Cobb salad. That is an order. 845 01:01:45,474 --> 01:01:48,113 Oh, my God! 846 01:01:48,194 --> 01:01:50,503 - Connie? - That's him. 847 01:01:50,594 --> 01:01:52,664 That man with the collar. 848 01:01:52,754 --> 01:01:54,585 The Reverend Whirley? 849 01:01:54,674 --> 01:01:58,030 He's the one who kidnapped me and threw me in that pit... 850 01:01:58,114 --> 01:02:00,184 with that horrible snake. 851 01:02:01,274 --> 01:02:04,107 I'll never forget his face as long as I live. 852 01:02:04,194 --> 01:02:06,708 You have to be sure about this. 853 01:02:06,794 --> 01:02:09,547 How about very, very sure? 854 01:02:09,634 --> 01:02:11,909 I'm positive, Joe. 855 01:02:11,994 --> 01:02:13,791 That's him. 856 01:02:13,874 --> 01:02:15,751 The face behind the mask. 857 01:02:17,314 --> 01:02:19,782 The man who tried to kill me. 858 01:02:23,034 --> 01:02:25,946 Would you testify to that under oath in a court of law? 859 01:02:26,034 --> 01:02:28,673 Wait a minute. Settle down. 860 01:02:28,754 --> 01:02:31,905 Let's think about this. That is Jonathan Whirley. 861 01:02:31,994 --> 01:02:35,145 Head of the Moral Advance Movement of America. He's a public hero. 862 01:02:35,234 --> 01:02:38,909 - You can't just walk up to him... - Streebek. 863 01:02:38,994 --> 01:02:41,064 Vermin aren't allowed inside restaurants. 864 01:02:41,154 --> 01:02:43,224 I'll be enforcing the public health code. 865 01:02:44,994 --> 01:02:47,064 If you'll both excuse me... 866 01:02:47,154 --> 01:02:50,510 I'm afraid the second-highest duty calls. 867 01:02:55,554 --> 01:02:58,944 Joe, he is sitting with the commissioner and our captain. 868 01:02:59,034 --> 01:03:02,344 Bust him now, tomorrow you'll be mucking out stalls at Horse Patrol. 869 01:03:09,394 --> 01:03:10,747 Thank you. 870 01:03:12,714 --> 01:03:14,067 I am sorry. 871 01:03:14,154 --> 01:03:16,987 Hold it there, Whirley. Police Officer. You're under arrest. 872 01:03:17,074 --> 01:03:19,383 I beg your pardon? Is this some sort of feeble joke? 873 01:03:19,474 --> 01:03:24,912 Oh, it's a knee-slapper, if you consider Penal Codes 484207 A597 and 217... 874 01:03:24,994 --> 01:03:27,667 theft, kidnapping, cruelty to animals, attempted murder things to laugh about. 875 01:03:27,794 --> 01:03:30,149 I don't know what you're talking about. 876 01:03:30,234 --> 01:03:32,907 My partner and I witnessed that torchlight picnic you threw. 877 01:03:32,994 --> 01:03:36,509 We're gonna put you where your kind always ends up: In a 7-by-7 cage... 878 01:03:36,594 --> 01:03:40,746 in some hundred-year-old penitentiary with a wooden plank for a bed. 879 01:03:40,834 --> 01:03:44,144 Sure, this city isn't perfect. We need a smut-free life for all our citizens. 880 01:03:44,234 --> 01:03:46,429 Cleaner streets, better schools, a good hockey team. 881 01:03:46,514 --> 01:03:50,348 But the difference between you and me is you made the promise, I'm gonna keep it. 882 01:04:03,754 --> 01:04:07,508 Our good reverend's an amazing piece of work, isn't he, Jane? 883 01:04:07,594 --> 01:04:10,552 - May I call you Jane? - No. 884 01:04:18,154 --> 01:04:20,304 Captain, Commissioner... 885 01:04:20,394 --> 01:04:23,306 I demand an immediate explanation for this outrageous behaviour. 886 01:04:23,394 --> 01:04:25,430 It's him again. 887 01:04:25,514 --> 01:04:27,823 Are you insane? 888 01:04:27,914 --> 01:04:31,509 Reverend Whirley abducted that girl, had his men throw her in a pit... 889 01:04:31,594 --> 01:04:34,347 filled with polluted water and a giant Bolivian jungle snake. 890 01:04:34,434 --> 01:04:36,994 These accusations are preposterous! 891 01:04:37,074 --> 01:04:40,703 I beg to differ. Ask him if he remembers 3,000 gallons of stolen... 892 01:04:40,794 --> 01:04:43,672 trichlornitromethane and the pseudo-halogenic compound cyanogen... 893 01:04:43,754 --> 01:04:45,790 which, when mixed properly, form a liquid fertilizer that burns... 894 01:04:45,874 --> 01:04:49,264 the throat, eyes, lungs, and nose, and could cause vomiting and death. 895 01:04:49,354 --> 01:04:51,993 We're just about to eat here! 896 01:04:52,074 --> 01:04:55,749 Reverend Whirley, please accept our most sincere apologies. 897 01:04:55,834 --> 01:04:58,871 Sergeant, you will remove those handcuffs immediately. 898 01:04:58,954 --> 01:05:01,707 Then you will hand in your badge. You are relieved from duty. 899 01:05:01,794 --> 01:05:03,273 But... But... But, Commissioner... 900 01:05:03,354 --> 01:05:04,787 Now! 901 01:05:06,714 --> 01:05:08,750 Yes, sir. Ma'am. 902 01:05:08,834 --> 01:05:11,951 I don't care. I'm absolutely humiliated. 903 01:05:12,034 --> 01:05:15,913 I know the young man was overzealous, but he springs from a great tradition. 904 01:05:15,994 --> 01:05:19,145 Commissioner, won't you please change your mind? 905 01:05:30,634 --> 01:05:34,070 I'm afraid I'll have to take your badge and gun. 906 01:05:34,154 --> 01:05:38,033 - If we could just please... - I don't want to discuss it! 907 01:05:38,114 --> 01:05:40,628 Just hand them over. 908 01:06:09,474 --> 01:06:14,309 Look, Joe, don't worry. I'm still on active duty. I'm building a case. 909 01:06:14,394 --> 01:06:16,589 You're building nothin'. 910 01:06:16,674 --> 01:06:20,667 If I ever hear you've come within one mile of Reverend Whirley... 911 01:06:20,754 --> 01:06:22,665 I'll have your badge for breakfast! 912 01:06:22,754 --> 01:06:25,746 - Understood? - Yes, sir. 913 01:06:33,514 --> 01:06:37,427 It was very nice of you to try and take us out to dinner, Joe. 914 01:06:37,514 --> 01:06:41,109 Yeah. Thanks, Joe, for everything. 915 01:06:42,794 --> 01:06:47,504 Let's not stand around here moping. I'm hungry! Let's go for chili dogs. 916 01:06:47,594 --> 01:06:52,714 Granny, have you ever eaten a chili dog off the back of a motorcycle? 917 01:06:52,794 --> 01:06:54,625 Not till now. 918 01:06:54,714 --> 01:06:58,024 You smooth-talking son of a gun. 919 01:07:07,674 --> 01:07:10,472 - Thank you. - You're welcome. 920 01:07:15,354 --> 01:07:18,027 I'm very sorry you lost your job, Joe. 921 01:07:18,114 --> 01:07:20,309 I really did have a very good time. 922 01:07:20,394 --> 01:07:22,510 I'm glad, Connie. 923 01:07:22,594 --> 01:07:25,506 Now, fasten your seat belt. I can still effect a citizen's arrest. 924 01:07:25,594 --> 01:07:28,791 I don't want to ruin a wonderful evening by bringing you in on a misdemeanour. 925 01:07:30,074 --> 01:07:31,826 That was a joke. 926 01:07:32,914 --> 01:07:35,144 Oh. 927 01:07:49,234 --> 01:07:51,350 Oh, Joe! 928 01:07:51,434 --> 01:07:53,345 Look at the stars! 929 01:07:53,434 --> 01:07:55,504 Dozens of them. 930 01:07:57,794 --> 01:08:01,833 You know, when I was a little girl... 931 01:08:01,914 --> 01:08:04,747 I used to wish upon a different star every night... 932 01:08:04,834 --> 01:08:08,110 for that special someone to come along. 933 01:08:08,194 --> 01:08:10,708 Someone with whom I could share... 934 01:08:12,714 --> 01:08:14,705 everything. 935 01:08:19,074 --> 01:08:21,383 I guess that's not so unusual. 936 01:08:22,274 --> 01:08:25,710 All girls do that, don't they, Joe? 937 01:08:25,794 --> 01:08:28,308 Some guys do, too, Connie. 938 01:08:31,954 --> 01:08:34,229 - Joe? - That's me. 939 01:08:35,754 --> 01:08:37,585 Was there ever... 940 01:08:40,234 --> 01:08:41,587 anyone else? 941 01:08:41,674 --> 01:08:43,426 Of course there was. 942 01:08:44,634 --> 01:08:46,386 Oh. 943 01:08:46,474 --> 01:08:50,149 Actually, I've only been driving with Streebek a couple of days. 944 01:08:50,234 --> 01:08:53,351 - Before that I was with Frank. - That's not what I meant. 945 01:09:13,754 --> 01:09:17,906 - [Banging] - [Screaming] 946 01:09:17,994 --> 01:09:20,713 Goodness! Earthquake! It's the big one! 947 01:09:20,794 --> 01:09:23,024 Joe, help! 948 01:09:23,114 --> 01:09:24,672 Request Code 3. Officer in distress. 949 01:09:24,754 --> 01:09:27,427 Assist officer. I'll handle this. Calm down. 950 01:09:29,434 --> 01:09:33,063 - [Gasping] - [Shotgun Pump Clicking] 951 01:09:33,314 --> 01:09:35,953 January 9, 8:37 a.m. 952 01:09:36,034 --> 01:09:38,628 My name's Streebek. I'm a cop. 953 01:09:38,714 --> 01:09:40,067 I overslept. 954 01:09:42,234 --> 01:09:46,705 Curiously enough, I still hadn't heard from my anal-retentive ex-partner... 955 01:09:46,794 --> 01:09:49,911 although I was sure he'd be proud to know I was making a concerted effort... 956 01:09:49,994 --> 01:09:52,269 to personally develop a close relationship... 957 01:09:52,354 --> 01:09:55,585 with one of my sisters in the Los Angeles Police Department. 958 01:10:17,234 --> 01:10:19,794 I placed a call to the virgin Connie Swail... 959 01:10:19,874 --> 01:10:22,911 but according to the girl's mother, she hadn't come home either. 960 01:10:22,994 --> 01:10:25,713 I don't know what to say, Mrs. Swail. 961 01:10:25,794 --> 01:10:28,308 I'm beginning to be concerned myself. 962 01:10:28,394 --> 01:10:32,182 No, Joe Friday has never stayed out all night, either. 963 01:10:32,274 --> 01:10:35,744 The day he was born, his mother had him home by 9:00. 964 01:10:35,834 --> 01:10:39,747 Well, let's both stay in touch in case we hear from them. 965 01:10:39,834 --> 01:10:41,790 Thank you, Mrs. Swail. 966 01:10:44,834 --> 01:10:47,632 Oh, my goodness. I'm gonna be late for my stake-out. 967 01:10:48,754 --> 01:10:50,665 As enchanting as Robin was... 968 01:10:50,754 --> 01:10:54,588 I still couldn't get my mind off what happened to Joe Friday. 969 01:10:54,674 --> 01:10:56,869 For one misguided moment... 970 01:10:56,954 --> 01:11:00,151 I actually pictured my ex-partner introducing that little cupcake... 971 01:11:00,234 --> 01:11:04,068 to the one piece of equipment that wasn't issued to him by the department. 972 01:11:04,154 --> 01:11:08,591 But then I realized Joe would never spring for the price of a motel room. 973 01:11:08,674 --> 01:11:12,110 And since having sex in a Yugo was a logistical impossibility... 974 01:11:12,194 --> 01:11:15,266 I came to the conclusion that something must be wrong. 975 01:11:15,354 --> 01:11:16,946 Who cares? 976 01:11:17,034 --> 01:11:18,831 Listen to me, Captain. 977 01:11:18,914 --> 01:11:21,872 Joe Friday was the most dedicated cop in this city. 978 01:11:21,954 --> 01:11:24,787 Okay, so maybe all his dogs aren't attached to one leash. 979 01:11:24,874 --> 01:11:27,388 He's thickheaded, insensitive and reactionary. 980 01:11:27,474 --> 01:11:30,864 And generally less fun to be around than any person I've ever met. 981 01:11:30,954 --> 01:11:33,673 Still, he was my partner. 982 01:11:33,754 --> 01:11:36,109 You want to find Joe Friday? 983 01:11:36,194 --> 01:11:40,107 My advice is to start checking out the sanitariums. 984 01:11:41,714 --> 01:11:43,545 - Hey, Pep. - What's shaking? 985 01:11:43,634 --> 01:11:45,909 - Hey, you! - Me, Pep? 986 01:11:46,954 --> 01:11:49,263 Detective Streebek to you. Let's get this mop trimmed. 987 01:11:49,354 --> 01:11:51,345 Stop shaving with a pocketknife, and next time you eat your lunch... 988 01:11:51,434 --> 01:11:53,265 put it in your stomach, not on your uniform. 989 01:11:53,354 --> 01:11:56,073 You're a disgrace to this department and that badge. 990 01:12:11,434 --> 01:12:13,345 You're late, Jerry. 991 01:12:14,954 --> 01:12:19,505 I saw your announcement about my so-called million-dollar contribution. 992 01:12:19,594 --> 01:12:21,585 Do yourself a favour, friend. 993 01:12:22,834 --> 01:12:24,313 Try the lottery. 994 01:12:24,394 --> 01:12:26,271 The lottery I can fix. 995 01:12:26,354 --> 01:12:28,549 Our problem is Mayor Parvin. 996 01:12:28,634 --> 01:12:32,707 I'm afraid he is not "going gentle into that good night." 997 01:12:32,794 --> 01:12:34,147 Say what? 998 01:12:34,234 --> 01:12:38,113 That he is not responding to our pressure to resign. 999 01:12:38,194 --> 01:12:40,754 We're gonna have to push him over the edge. 1000 01:12:40,834 --> 01:12:44,907 Your million-dollar contribution will insure his presence at your party. 1001 01:12:44,994 --> 01:12:49,431 Just make sure he turns into a drug-crazed idiot, with pictures. 1002 01:12:49,514 --> 01:12:52,153 Once he's politically dead, Commissioner Kirkpatrick... 1003 01:12:52,234 --> 01:12:54,509 will be a shoo-in to replace him in the next election. 1004 01:12:54,594 --> 01:12:57,904 You and I will split control of the city. 1005 01:12:57,994 --> 01:13:00,064 You will monopolize all pornography. 1006 01:13:00,154 --> 01:13:03,669 Half the poor dumb sheep in Los Angeles will be forking over money... 1007 01:13:03,754 --> 01:13:05,710 to buy your sleaze... 1008 01:13:05,794 --> 01:13:08,467 while the other half will be funding me with the means to fight it. 1009 01:13:09,914 --> 01:13:11,267 Reverend... 1010 01:13:12,394 --> 01:13:14,862 you got balls as big as church bells. 1011 01:13:16,394 --> 01:13:17,873 Thank you. 1012 01:13:33,994 --> 01:13:37,589 Jonathan, I do not trust that man. 1013 01:13:37,674 --> 01:13:40,472 Thank goodness he trusts me. 1014 01:13:40,554 --> 01:13:42,749 That socially-retarded hedonist... 1015 01:13:42,834 --> 01:13:46,144 actually believes he's going to be alive tomorrow. 1016 01:14:21,834 --> 01:14:23,426 Where's Joe Friday? 1017 01:14:36,514 --> 01:14:37,867 It's no use. 1018 01:14:37,954 --> 01:14:39,785 These knots are too tight. 1019 01:14:39,874 --> 01:14:42,342 Untie the girl. She's coming with me. 1020 01:14:44,874 --> 01:14:48,947 You hypocrite. If you were decent, you'd let her go and kill me instead. 1021 01:14:49,034 --> 01:14:50,387 Instead? 1022 01:14:51,714 --> 01:14:56,583 But, my dear Sergeant Friday, I'd always planned on killing you. 1023 01:14:56,674 --> 01:14:59,234 How do you see yourself going down in history? 1024 01:14:59,314 --> 01:15:01,544 Pagan or reverend, devil or angel? 1025 01:15:01,634 --> 01:15:04,831 Why, both, of course. 1026 01:15:04,914 --> 01:15:07,144 One can't exist without the other. 1027 01:15:07,234 --> 01:15:09,987 Without the Jerry Caesars, there'd be no moral outrage. 1028 01:15:10,074 --> 01:15:12,144 What's the good of moral outrage... 1029 01:15:12,234 --> 01:15:15,306 unless you have something tangible to direct it against? 1030 01:15:15,394 --> 01:15:17,954 By this time tomorrow, thanks to that poison gas... 1031 01:15:18,034 --> 01:15:20,628 you've been tracking like some flu-ridden bloodhound... 1032 01:15:20,714 --> 01:15:24,468 Mr Caesar will be sitting in that big Jacuzzi in the sky... 1033 01:15:24,554 --> 01:15:26,863 and I'll control both sides of the equation. 1034 01:15:26,954 --> 01:15:30,230 Sure, but like every other psycho in this city with a foolproof plan... 1035 01:15:30,314 --> 01:15:33,067 you've forgotten you're facing the finest fighting force ever assembled. 1036 01:15:34,474 --> 01:15:35,827 The Israelis? 1037 01:15:35,914 --> 01:15:38,553 Try the decent, hardworking men and women of Los Angeles. 1038 01:15:40,554 --> 01:15:42,749 Forgotten about them? 1039 01:15:42,834 --> 01:15:44,950 My dear Sergeant... 1040 01:15:45,034 --> 01:15:48,344 I'm absolutely counting on them. 1041 01:15:50,674 --> 01:15:52,551 - Joe. - [Whirley Laughs] 1042 01:15:52,634 --> 01:15:54,704 Joe? 1043 01:16:28,234 --> 01:16:32,386 [Friday] You may have taken a wrong turn, but there's time to straighten out. 1044 01:16:32,474 --> 01:16:34,669 You're the one that's gonna straighten out, cop... 1045 01:16:34,754 --> 01:16:36,585 all the way down the mountain. 1046 01:16:40,834 --> 01:16:42,187 Let's go, Streebek. 1047 01:17:10,714 --> 01:17:13,182 Just relax and hold on tight. 1048 01:17:13,274 --> 01:17:16,471 Tighter! Pretend I'm Connie. Ooh! 1049 01:17:18,234 --> 01:17:19,986 Look out! Look out! 1050 01:17:24,514 --> 01:17:27,028 There's no road here. 1051 01:17:29,154 --> 01:17:31,509 No road. Look out! 1052 01:17:43,434 --> 01:17:45,550 Look, there's the mayor. 1053 01:17:45,634 --> 01:17:48,387 Pretty clever of Whirley manoeuvring him up here to Caesar's party. 1054 01:17:48,474 --> 01:17:50,624 He's got both people he wants to eliminate in one place. 1055 01:17:50,714 --> 01:17:54,024 Hey, isn't that Whirley's car? 1056 01:17:54,114 --> 01:17:56,423 Good evening, Reverend. 1057 01:17:56,514 --> 01:17:58,311 Child. 1058 01:17:58,394 --> 01:18:00,669 I don't see Connie. 1059 01:18:00,754 --> 01:18:04,952 - The next car comes, follow me in. - Wait. You can't go in there. 1060 01:18:05,034 --> 01:18:08,310 - When did you become Miss Manners? - First, you don't have a warrant. 1061 01:18:08,394 --> 01:18:11,670 Penal Code 836: A police officer may make an arrest without a warrant... 1062 01:18:11,754 --> 01:18:13,585 if he believes there's probable cause... 1063 01:18:13,674 --> 01:18:16,427 You're not a police officer any more. 1064 01:18:19,274 --> 01:18:21,913 I hate to be the one to break that to you, but it's the truth. 1065 01:18:21,994 --> 01:18:24,792 You charge in there now, you'll never get your badge back. 1066 01:18:24,874 --> 01:18:26,785 Whirley's the only one that knows where Connie is. 1067 01:18:26,874 --> 01:18:29,069 He'll tell or I'll shove that collar so far down his throat... 1068 01:18:29,154 --> 01:18:30,985 I'll have to take off his shoes to wring his neck. 1069 01:18:31,074 --> 01:18:34,908 You're not thinking like a cop any more. You're thinking like a man in love. 1070 01:18:34,994 --> 01:18:37,508 Watch your language, mister! 1071 01:18:38,434 --> 01:18:40,584 Oh, Joe, l... 1072 01:18:40,674 --> 01:18:43,632 You've never had these feelings before, have you? 1073 01:18:45,194 --> 01:18:47,025 Almost. 1074 01:18:47,114 --> 01:18:49,264 I had a kitten once. 1075 01:18:49,354 --> 01:18:52,790 This is gonna be a little different. Connie won't be sleeping in a box... 1076 01:18:52,874 --> 01:18:56,583 or meowing all night or climbing up your drapes. 1077 01:18:56,674 --> 01:19:01,111 Or maybe she will. You both are sort of starting from scratch with this thing. 1078 01:19:01,194 --> 01:19:02,707 Get out of my way! 1079 01:19:02,794 --> 01:19:07,106 Last time you went after Whirley, you got suspended. Now you'll get arrested. 1080 01:19:07,194 --> 01:19:12,109 - On what charge, Junior? - How about Section 146-A? 1081 01:19:13,314 --> 01:19:16,909 That's right. Impersonating a police officer. 1082 01:19:18,314 --> 01:19:21,112 It's for your own good, Joe. 1083 01:19:21,194 --> 01:19:23,754 In spite of every logical instinct I've ever had... 1084 01:19:23,834 --> 01:19:26,632 I consider you a real friend. 1085 01:19:29,994 --> 01:19:32,303 - Wait. - Joe, go home. 1086 01:19:32,394 --> 01:19:34,305 There's nothing more you can do here. Believe me. 1087 01:19:34,394 --> 01:19:37,192 By the way, my name is Pep. 1088 01:19:38,474 --> 01:19:42,069 It's not mister, junior, bub or Streebek. It's Pep. 1089 01:19:44,074 --> 01:19:47,623 Friendships start with first names... 1090 01:19:47,714 --> 01:19:49,067 Joe. 1091 01:20:11,274 --> 01:20:13,583 [Jerry Caesar] Thank you so much for comin'. 1092 01:20:13,674 --> 01:20:16,108 Your Honour, pleased you could make it. 1093 01:20:16,194 --> 01:20:17,752 You, too, Reverend. 1094 01:20:17,834 --> 01:20:21,349 Let's just drop the fake civility. Okay, Caesar? 1095 01:20:21,434 --> 01:20:25,063 - You have a cheque for the Reverend. - I do, all in due time. 1096 01:20:26,194 --> 01:20:29,231 If it would make us all feel better... 1097 01:20:29,314 --> 01:20:31,953 why don't I hold on to it until the formal presentation? 1098 01:20:33,554 --> 01:20:35,385 Well, whatever. 1099 01:20:42,434 --> 01:20:45,744 You're just in time. We're about to start our cultural talent show. 1100 01:20:45,834 --> 01:20:47,665 Why don't you pull up a pew next to me? 1101 01:20:47,754 --> 01:20:51,542 Reverend, I'm sure you'll find these gals socially redeemin'. 1102 01:21:00,074 --> 01:21:02,747 } Me me me me } 1103 01:21:02,834 --> 01:21:05,553 } Me me me Me me me } 1104 01:21:05,634 --> 01:21:09,912 } Me me me me me me } 1105 01:21:09,994 --> 01:21:14,226 }} [Intro To "The Star-Spangled Banner"] 1106 01:21:15,114 --> 01:21:19,312 } Oh, say can you see } 1107 01:21:19,394 --> 01:21:23,023 } By the dawn's early light } 1108 01:21:24,154 --> 01:21:26,907 How do you like those sweet pipes, Reverend? 1109 01:21:26,994 --> 01:21:28,347 Surprised? 1110 01:21:28,874 --> 01:21:30,671 Oh, yes. 1111 01:21:30,754 --> 01:21:32,426 Indeed. 1112 01:21:32,514 --> 01:21:36,632 I have a feeling this evening is going to be full of surprises. 1113 01:21:36,714 --> 01:21:39,182 } Through the perilous fight } 1114 01:22:30,914 --> 01:22:34,065 [Man] Thunderhead to Cloud 9. Do you read me? 1115 01:22:34,154 --> 01:22:37,032 Our hoses are in place. Start the gas when ready. 1116 01:22:37,114 --> 01:22:40,470 Cloud 9 to Thunderhead. We're startin' the gas. 1117 01:22:42,994 --> 01:22:45,633 - Hi. Just need to use the phone. - Who the hell... 1118 01:22:45,714 --> 01:22:49,753 The White Pages, my favourite. You ever actually reach out and touch someone? 1119 01:22:57,434 --> 01:22:59,823 See if you can get a line on the man they work with. 1120 01:22:59,914 --> 01:23:03,145 I'll be hitting Route 30. Keep me posted. 1121 01:23:03,994 --> 01:23:05,905 - Hello. - L.A.P.D. Captain Gannon there? 1122 01:23:05,994 --> 01:23:08,792 - Yes, he is. It's work, dear. - Thank you. 1123 01:23:08,874 --> 01:23:11,229 Thank you, Delilah. Hello. 1124 01:23:11,314 --> 01:23:15,193 - Captain Gannon, this is Streebek. I'm up at the Caesar mansion. - Streebek? 1125 01:23:15,274 --> 01:23:19,665 I'm surrounded by Pagans. Call out S.W.A.T. They've got a small army here. 1126 01:23:55,754 --> 01:23:59,463 - Reverend? - I'll be leaving you in charge, Emil. 1127 01:23:59,554 --> 01:24:01,988 I'll be joining a special passenger... 1128 01:24:02,074 --> 01:24:05,589 aboard my jet for a few restful days in Acapulco. 1129 01:24:05,674 --> 01:24:08,108 Don't forget to leave a Pagan card... 1130 01:24:08,194 --> 01:24:10,344 so the police and Mr Caesar's next of kin... 1131 01:24:10,434 --> 01:24:14,188 will give us proper credit for returning his magazines. 1132 01:24:14,274 --> 01:24:16,868 Oh, and, Emil... 1133 01:24:16,954 --> 01:24:18,865 ever forward. 1134 01:24:46,234 --> 01:24:48,907 Police officers! Clear the road. 1135 01:24:57,034 --> 01:24:58,786 "Police officers. 1136 01:24:58,874 --> 01:25:00,705 Clear the road." 1137 01:25:24,354 --> 01:25:26,549 - Move it! - Go! Go! Go! Go! 1138 01:25:31,954 --> 01:25:36,789 What the... Cops! Break out the weapons! Break out the masks! 1139 01:26:16,234 --> 01:26:18,065 We're pinned down. Hold your positions! 1140 01:26:32,074 --> 01:26:34,463 All right, boys, let's do it! 1141 01:27:22,914 --> 01:27:24,791 Thank God, it's Friday! 1142 01:27:26,874 --> 01:27:29,866 Hey, everybody, it's me, Pep. Good to see ya! 1143 01:27:43,354 --> 01:27:45,310 So long, hotshot. 1144 01:27:45,394 --> 01:27:49,865 Muzz, you weren't even born with the sense God gave the common dog. 1145 01:27:49,954 --> 01:27:51,831 Don't you realize that's my partner? 1146 01:27:51,914 --> 01:27:53,870 Ha-ha! 1147 01:28:01,194 --> 01:28:02,388 Thanks, partner. 1148 01:28:02,474 --> 01:28:05,910 Read him his rights, Pep. 1149 01:28:05,994 --> 01:28:07,347 "Pep"? 1150 01:28:08,594 --> 01:28:10,550 You hear that, Emil? He called me Pep. 1151 01:28:10,634 --> 01:28:12,784 You have the right to remain silent. 1152 01:28:12,874 --> 01:28:14,830 If you give up the right to remain silent... 1153 01:28:14,914 --> 01:28:17,030 You know these words. Come on. Sing along. 1154 01:28:17,114 --> 01:28:20,265 } Anything you say can be used against you in a court of law } 1155 01:28:21,754 --> 01:28:27,192 You got a lifetime subscription to Bait, Dollies and Field and Cream. 1156 01:28:27,274 --> 01:28:29,868 You saved my house, my gals, my life. 1157 01:28:29,954 --> 01:28:32,752 I'll give you anything you want. Money, broads, automobiles. 1158 01:28:32,834 --> 01:28:34,711 Anything! Just name it. 1159 01:28:34,794 --> 01:28:36,910 How 'bout takin' your hands off my suit? 1160 01:28:36,994 --> 01:28:38,222 Absolutely. 1161 01:28:38,314 --> 01:28:40,384 Joe, Jerry, Dona! Ava! 1162 01:28:40,474 --> 01:28:42,863 Whirley's headed to Mexico in his private jet. 1163 01:28:42,954 --> 01:28:45,263 He's got Connie. Let's move it. 1164 01:28:45,354 --> 01:28:47,390 - Who's Connie? - I don't know. 1165 01:28:47,474 --> 01:28:49,066 - Wasn't she... - Never mind. You hungry? 1166 01:28:49,154 --> 01:28:50,985 - Yeah. - Let's eat. 1167 01:28:52,394 --> 01:28:54,225 Friday, Streebek, good work. 1168 01:28:54,314 --> 01:28:56,544 I'll expect a full report. 1169 01:28:56,634 --> 01:28:59,307 Sure thing. If you'll excuse us, we have a fugitive to apprehend. 1170 01:28:59,394 --> 01:29:04,309 Wait a minute. I can't let you take a civilian with you on a hot pursuit. 1171 01:29:04,394 --> 01:29:07,352 - But, Captain, please. - Sorry, Joe. 1172 01:29:11,714 --> 01:29:14,148 You're gonna need this. 1173 01:29:14,234 --> 01:29:18,705 }} [Dragnet March Plays] 1174 01:29:20,394 --> 01:29:22,464 I didn't have the heart to turn it in. 1175 01:29:24,394 --> 01:29:27,192 Yes, sir. 1176 01:29:28,954 --> 01:29:33,186 Don't just stand there, you petrified monolith of legal propriety! 1177 01:29:33,274 --> 01:29:35,663 Let's move! I'll drive. 1178 01:29:35,754 --> 01:29:38,473 You seem to be suffering from selective amnesia. 1179 01:29:38,554 --> 01:29:41,352 I outrank you. I'll drive. 1180 01:30:06,314 --> 01:30:08,748 Be careful. This is a dangerous road. 1181 01:30:08,834 --> 01:30:12,144 When are you worried about my driving, Mr l-Like-Life-In-The-Fast-Lane? 1182 01:30:16,234 --> 01:30:19,670 - You just flew through a stop sign! - It felt good. 1183 01:30:21,674 --> 01:30:23,744 Look out for that bump! 1184 01:30:28,234 --> 01:30:31,749 Don't you remember those films they showed us in high school? 1185 01:30:31,834 --> 01:30:35,952 - Red Asphalt. Blood on the Highway. - You picked two of my favourites. 1186 01:30:39,594 --> 01:30:42,984 [Streebek Hollering] 1187 01:30:53,194 --> 01:30:54,673 Jonathan. 1188 01:30:55,874 --> 01:30:59,833 I just heard on the police radio they've stormed the mansion. 1189 01:30:59,914 --> 01:31:03,827 They know everything. It's all over. We're finished. 1190 01:31:03,914 --> 01:31:07,463 Oh. The girl's aboard, of course? 1191 01:31:07,554 --> 01:31:10,193 Yes, but we might as well let her go. There's no point in keeping her. 1192 01:31:10,274 --> 01:31:12,469 You're absolutely right. 1193 01:31:12,554 --> 01:31:15,022 Watch for the police. I'll untie her. 1194 01:31:15,114 --> 01:31:16,627 Be calm. 1195 01:31:16,714 --> 01:31:18,864 Calm. Police. 1196 01:31:27,434 --> 01:31:28,628 Jonathan? 1197 01:31:31,634 --> 01:31:34,068 All buckled up? Good. 1198 01:31:34,154 --> 01:31:35,507 You freak! 1199 01:31:36,554 --> 01:31:40,388 - Ah! Freak. - Don't worry, my dear. 1200 01:31:40,474 --> 01:31:42,544 You'll get used to me in time. 1201 01:31:43,434 --> 01:31:45,265 Jonathan, I think maybe... 1202 01:31:46,634 --> 01:31:48,067 Oh, my God! 1203 01:31:50,314 --> 01:31:52,145 Jonathan! 1204 01:31:55,794 --> 01:31:58,627 Oh, my God! Jonathan! 1205 01:32:03,274 --> 01:32:05,230 Jonathan! 1206 01:32:12,674 --> 01:32:14,869 Come on, Joe. Slow down! 1207 01:32:14,954 --> 01:32:17,946 What happened to those regulations on high-speed pursuits? 1208 01:32:18,034 --> 01:32:21,106 - I thought you were safety-conscious. - Close your eyes and think of Christmas. 1209 01:32:23,874 --> 01:32:25,546 Think of Christmas? 1210 01:32:31,714 --> 01:32:34,831 } Good King Wenceslaus looked out on the feast of Stephen } 1211 01:32:34,914 --> 01:32:38,350 - } And the snow lay round about } - } Deep and crisp and even } 1212 01:32:38,434 --> 01:32:42,222 } Brightly shone the moon that night though the frost was cruel } 1213 01:32:42,314 --> 01:32:43,827 } When the poor man came in sight... } 1214 01:32:43,914 --> 01:32:45,552 Try "Silent Night." 1215 01:32:57,754 --> 01:33:00,632 - He's gone. Let's go home. - No, the runway. 1216 01:33:00,714 --> 01:33:03,433 [Streebek Laughs Nervously] 1217 01:33:24,554 --> 01:33:26,067 We lost them. 1218 01:33:26,154 --> 01:33:28,270 I have eyes. 1219 01:33:39,914 --> 01:33:41,745 Streebek was right. 1220 01:33:43,154 --> 01:33:44,985 We had lost them. 1221 01:34:07,274 --> 01:34:09,265 [Siren Wailing] 1222 01:34:49,034 --> 01:34:51,912 [Sirens Wailing] 1223 01:35:55,554 --> 01:35:57,306 Hi, Connie. 1224 01:35:57,394 --> 01:36:00,147 Oh, Joe! I'm so proud. 1225 01:36:04,794 --> 01:36:09,914 What a collar, Joe! I'm so happy for us. Connie. 1226 01:36:09,994 --> 01:36:14,033 Streebek, isn't there anything job-related you should be doing now? 1227 01:36:14,114 --> 01:36:15,467 No, nothing. 1228 01:36:18,674 --> 01:36:21,905 I could return our rent-a-wreck... 1229 01:36:21,994 --> 01:36:23,985 and maybe file a report. 1230 01:36:26,954 --> 01:36:28,512 Good... 1231 01:36:28,594 --> 01:36:30,983 because I have a whole lifetime to catch up on. 1232 01:36:51,794 --> 01:36:56,185 [Narrator] On February 21, a trial was held in Superior Court... 1233 01:36:56,274 --> 01:36:58,469 in and for the County of Los Angeles. 1234 01:36:58,554 --> 01:37:01,114 The Reverend Jonathan Whirley was found guilty... 1235 01:37:01,194 --> 01:37:03,185 on two counts of attempted murder... 1236 01:37:03,274 --> 01:37:06,232 kidnapping, arson, obstruction of justice... 1237 01:37:06,314 --> 01:37:08,589 and tampering with public utilities. 1238 01:37:08,674 --> 01:37:11,427 He is presently in the men's correction facility at Chino... 1239 01:37:11,514 --> 01:37:15,143 serving 43 consecutive 99-year sentences... 1240 01:37:15,234 --> 01:37:18,829 which makes him eligible for parole in seven years. 1241 01:37:20,034 --> 01:37:23,583 [Friday] Monday, January 12, 8:43 a.m. 1242 01:37:23,674 --> 01:37:27,110 As for Streebek and me, we're back on day watch at Robbery-Homicide... 1243 01:37:27,194 --> 01:37:30,709 where he still exhibits a blatant disregard for departmental procedure. 1244 01:37:30,794 --> 01:37:34,753 But I am somehow managing to keep this in its proper perspective. 1245 01:37:45,234 --> 01:37:47,987 Goodbye, Pep. Will you be coming over later? 1246 01:37:48,074 --> 01:37:51,669 Yeah, I have to. I'm wearing your underwear. 1247 01:38:01,834 --> 01:38:03,790 Late night last night, partner? 1248 01:38:03,874 --> 01:38:06,513 I thought the Christian Science Reading Room closed at 10:00? 1249 01:38:06,594 --> 01:38:09,711 Not that it's any of your business, Mr National Enquirer... 1250 01:38:09,794 --> 01:38:12,945 but I had the pleasure of spending the evening in the company of Connie Swail. 1251 01:38:13,034 --> 01:38:15,184 Wait a minute. Connie Swail? 1252 01:38:15,274 --> 01:38:17,583 Don't you mean the virgin Connie Swail? 1253 01:38:19,114 --> 01:38:24,791 }} [Dragnet March Plays] 1254 01:38:35,914 --> 01:38:38,109 This is the city. It's a city of crime. 1255 01:38:38,194 --> 01:38:40,344 My name is Friday. I carry a badge. 1256 01:38:40,434 --> 01:38:42,868 3:15 a.m., Thursday, January 15. 1257 01:38:42,954 --> 01:38:45,070 It was chilly that morning in the City of Angels. 1258 01:38:45,154 --> 01:38:48,703 On this occasion, we witnessed a Pagan ritual in progress. 1259 01:38:51,394 --> 01:38:53,749 } See that, Streebek We're just in time } 1260 01:38:53,834 --> 01:38:55,745 } We have stumbled into a major crime } 1261 01:38:55,834 --> 01:38:58,302 } They got the girl all frightened Now that's not nice } 1262 01:38:58,394 --> 01:39:00,862 } I think she is the subject of a sacrifice } 1263 01:39:00,954 --> 01:39:03,149 } Buddy, we're puttin' this party on ice } 1264 01:39:03,234 --> 01:39:05,589 } But first you know we really oughta read 'em their rights } 1265 01:39:05,674 --> 01:39:07,665 } Read 'em their rights Read 'em their rights } 1266 01:39:10,034 --> 01:39:12,502 } Well, I'm here tonight to rap about your rights } 1267 01:39:12,594 --> 01:39:14,425 } 'Cause right now you're in trouble } 1268 01:39:14,514 --> 01:39:17,153 } Don't have to say nothin' at all You all got two calls } 1269 01:39:17,234 --> 01:39:19,111 } And you better make 'em on the double } 1270 01:39:23,114 --> 01:39:26,265 } This is the city of crime } 1271 01:39:28,034 --> 01:39:30,229 } Don't step outta line } 1272 01:39:32,634 --> 01:39:36,149 } This is the city of crime } 1273 01:39:36,234 --> 01:39:39,670 } You better be clean [Lyrics Indistinct] } 1274 01:39:40,994 --> 01:39:43,383 } You're a dangerous mob And it is our job } 1275 01:39:43,474 --> 01:39:45,669 } To bust you all for being violent } 1276 01:39:45,754 --> 01:39:47,984 } While we are here let's state it clear } 1277 01:39:48,074 --> 01:39:50,349 } You have the right to remain silent } 1278 01:39:50,434 --> 01:39:52,789 } Well, excuse me, Copper Mr Crime-Stopper } 1279 01:39:52,874 --> 01:39:55,104 } What is wrong with what we're doin' } 1280 01:39:55,194 --> 01:39:57,628 } We just like to dance in our goatskin pants } 1281 01:39:57,714 --> 01:39:59,545 } Around this ancient ruin } 1282 01:39:59,634 --> 01:40:02,102 } Now it's not so funny that it cost big money } 1283 01:40:02,194 --> 01:40:04,628 } If you ever have to hire a lawyer } 1284 01:40:04,714 --> 01:40:07,103 } It's my duty to inform you and my pleasure to warn you } 1285 01:40:07,194 --> 01:40:09,469 } We'll provide one for ya } Huh! 1286 01:40:13,034 --> 01:40:16,344 } This is the city of crime } 1287 01:40:17,714 --> 01:40:20,148 } Don't step outta line } 1288 01:40:22,474 --> 01:40:26,786 } This is the city of crime } 1289 01:40:26,874 --> 01:40:30,867 } You're lookin' at 7 to 9 } 1290 01:40:30,954 --> 01:40:33,104 } Now you know what you've been doing is a serious crime } 1291 01:40:33,194 --> 01:40:35,708 } And you'll probably be doin' some serious time } 1292 01:40:35,794 --> 01:40:38,069 } In case you might be worried about the friends you'll lose } 1293 01:40:38,154 --> 01:40:40,304 } At least they get to see you on the evening news } 1294 01:40:40,394 --> 01:40:42,624 - } It's a new sensation } - } We go down to the station } 1295 01:40:42,714 --> 01:40:45,672 - } You're gonna answer some questions } - } And have some refreshments } 1296 01:40:45,754 --> 01:40:47,346 What is your full name? 1297 01:40:47,434 --> 01:40:49,743 } Well, excuse me Excuse me } 1298 01:40:49,834 --> 01:40:52,143 } Don't use, abuse or refuse me } 1299 01:40:52,234 --> 01:40:54,509 } It's no joke I'm broke } 1300 01:40:54,594 --> 01:40:56,903 } But my rights I can and will invoke } 1301 01:40:56,994 --> 01:40:59,110 } I'm homely and I'm Ionely } 1302 01:40:59,194 --> 01:41:01,583 } But the state cannot disown me } 1303 01:41:01,674 --> 01:41:04,142 } It ain't funny I might want money } 1304 01:41:04,234 --> 01:41:06,225 } To take home to my honey } 1305 01:41:09,994 --> 01:41:13,111 } This is the city of crime } 1306 01:41:14,794 --> 01:41:17,228 } Don't step outta line } 1307 01:41:19,514 --> 01:41:23,143 } This is the city of crime } 1308 01:41:23,234 --> 01:41:26,590 } Where an honest man is hard to find }} 1309 01:41:27,305 --> 01:41:33,266 Support us and become VIP member to remove all ads from OpenSubtitles.org