1 00:03:09,524 --> 00:03:12,694 They stand there, barking. Twenty-six dogs. 2 00:03:12,861 --> 00:03:16,698 I see their mean faces. They've come to kill. 3 00:03:17,115 --> 00:03:19,701 And they tell my boss Bertold: 4 00:03:21,077 --> 00:03:25,707 "Give us Boaz Rein or we'll eat your customers. In one minute." 5 00:03:25,874 --> 00:03:28,043 - Twenty-six dogs? - Exactly. 6 00:03:28,210 --> 00:03:32,589 How do you know there are 26 and not 30? 7 00:03:32,881 --> 00:03:34,800 I'm coming to that. 8 00:03:39,763 --> 00:03:41,431 - Well? - Well what? 9 00:03:41,598 --> 00:03:46,645 - Do you check it out? - What do you think happens? 10 00:03:47,562 --> 00:03:51,358 - I wake up. - At that point every time? 11 00:03:51,525 --> 00:03:53,777 Exactly. It always stops there. 12 00:03:53,944 --> 00:03:56,696 - Since when? - Two and a half years. 13 00:03:56,863 --> 00:03:59,825 - And you call me now? At this hour? - Asshole. 14 00:03:59,991 --> 00:04:02,702 Don't call me an asshole. 15 00:04:04,496 --> 00:04:07,207 This dream is coming from somewhere. 16 00:04:07,374 --> 00:04:11,670 - I haven't told you everything. - Like what? 17 00:04:11,837 --> 00:04:13,672 You know, in Lebanon.... 18 00:04:13,839 --> 00:04:15,423 What about Lebanon? 19 00:04:15,590 --> 00:04:19,511 At the start of the war, we went into Lebanese villages... 20 00:04:19,678 --> 00:04:23,431 ...to search for wanted Palestinians. 21 00:04:24,099 --> 00:04:25,350 Yeah, and...? 22 00:04:40,907 --> 00:04:46,872 When someone enters a village, the dogs smell and bark to alert. 23 00:04:47,330 --> 00:04:53,795 Everyone wakes up and the fugitives take off. 24 00:04:53,962 --> 00:04:58,341 Someone had to liquidate them. Otherwise our men would have died. 25 00:04:58,508 --> 00:05:00,760 But why you? 26 00:05:00,927 --> 00:05:05,098 They knew I couldn't shoot a person. They told me: 27 00:05:05,265 --> 00:05:08,810 "Go ahead and shoot the dogs." 28 00:05:24,910 --> 00:05:29,831 Twenty-six dogs, I remember every single one. 29 00:05:29,998 --> 00:05:35,837 Every face, every wound, the look in their eyes. Twenty-six dogs. 30 00:05:36,004 --> 00:05:38,840 How long before they started appearing in your dreams? 31 00:05:39,007 --> 00:05:40,383 Twenty years. 32 00:05:41,176 --> 00:05:44,179 - Have you tried anything? - Like what? 33 00:05:44,346 --> 00:05:48,600 Therapy, a psychiatrist, shiatsu, anything. 34 00:05:48,767 --> 00:05:51,519 No, nothing. I called you. 35 00:05:51,686 --> 00:05:53,438 I'm just a filmmaker. 36 00:05:53,605 --> 00:05:55,523 Can't films be therapeutic? 37 00:05:55,857 --> 00:05:59,277 You've dealt with all the issues in your films, right? 38 00:05:59,694 --> 00:06:02,530 But nothing like this. 39 00:06:02,697 --> 00:06:04,366 No flashbacks from Lebanon? 40 00:06:05,700 --> 00:06:09,162 No. Not really. 41 00:06:09,329 --> 00:06:11,164 Are you sure? 42 00:06:12,707 --> 00:06:13,959 No. 43 00:06:14,125 --> 00:06:16,378 - Beirut, Sabra and Shatila? - What about that? 44 00:06:16,544 --> 00:06:19,714 You were only 100 yards away from the massacre. 45 00:06:19,881 --> 00:06:23,551 More like 200 or 300 yards. 46 00:06:23,718 --> 00:06:27,681 The truth is that's not stored in my system. 47 00:06:27,847 --> 00:06:31,393 No flashbacks or dreams? You never think about it? 48 00:06:31,559 --> 00:06:33,853 No, no. 49 00:06:34,145 --> 00:06:35,647 No. 50 00:06:41,569 --> 00:06:42,821 You'll be okay, huh? 51 00:06:43,738 --> 00:06:46,032 - You think so? - Sure. 52 00:06:46,324 --> 00:06:49,703 - You're sure? - Yes. I'll think of something. 53 00:06:50,078 --> 00:06:53,081 - Sure? - Sure. 54 00:07:30,118 --> 00:07:33,663 The meeting with Boaz took place in winter, 2006. 55 00:07:33,830 --> 00:07:38,043 That night, for the first time in 20 years... 56 00:07:38,209 --> 00:07:41,296 ...I had a flashback of the war in Lebanon. 57 00:07:41,463 --> 00:07:46,134 Not just Lebanon, West Beirut. Not just Beirut... 58 00:07:46,301 --> 00:07:51,264 ...but the massacre at the Sabra and Shatila refugee camps. 59 00:09:17,809 --> 00:09:21,271 What's wrong? It's 6:30 in the morning. 60 00:09:21,771 --> 00:09:27,068 We all have friends who are lawyers, doctors, therapists. 61 00:09:27,235 --> 00:09:30,989 Sometimes that friendship costs them. 62 00:09:31,156 --> 00:09:34,742 But you wouldn't wake your lawyer friend at 6:30. 63 00:09:34,909 --> 00:09:38,371 My lawyer is 10 times cheaper than you. 64 00:09:38,955 --> 00:09:41,040 I just don't understand. 65 00:09:41,207 --> 00:09:48,590 Why Boaz's dream with the dogs? 66 00:09:49,382 --> 00:09:53,761 Why that to jog my memory? It has nothing to do with me. 67 00:09:53,970 --> 00:09:55,847 Memory is fascinating. 68 00:09:57,223 --> 00:09:59,601 Take this psychological experiment. 69 00:10:02,812 --> 00:10:08,985 A group of people were shown 10 various childhood images. 70 00:10:09,485 --> 00:10:13,114 Nine were really from their childhood and one was fake: 71 00:10:13,281 --> 00:10:20,914 Their portrait was pasted into a fairground they never visited. 72 00:10:24,792 --> 00:10:28,046 Eighty percent recognized themselves. 73 00:10:28,213 --> 00:10:31,633 They recognized the fake photo as real! 74 00:10:31,799 --> 00:10:34,802 Twenty percent couldn't remember. 75 00:10:34,969 --> 00:10:37,305 The researchers asked them again. 76 00:10:37,805 --> 00:10:41,768 The second time, the others said that they remembered the image. 77 00:10:43,019 --> 00:10:46,731 "Such a wonderful day at the park with my parents." 78 00:10:46,898 --> 00:10:50,485 They remembered a completely fabricated experience. 79 00:10:51,486 --> 00:10:54,614 Memory is dynamic. It's alive. 80 00:10:54,781 --> 00:10:58,034 If some details are missing... 81 00:10:58,201 --> 00:11:03,331 ...memory fills the holes with things that never happened. 82 00:11:05,500 --> 00:11:12,090 So my vision of the massacre is like the fake photo? 83 00:11:12,257 --> 00:11:16,844 It never happened? I invented it? It's not real? 84 00:11:17,011 --> 00:11:20,181 I don't know. Who was there with you? 85 00:11:20,348 --> 00:11:24,435 Carmi was there. You know him from school. 86 00:11:25,478 --> 00:11:28,273 And someone else I don't recognize. 87 00:11:29,816 --> 00:11:34,028 - So go ask Carmi what he remembers. - He's in Holland. 88 00:11:34,195 --> 00:11:36,531 He's lived there for 20 years. 89 00:11:36,698 --> 00:11:40,952 Go to Holland and ask him, if it bothers you. 90 00:11:41,119 --> 00:11:42,412 Isn't that dangerous? 91 00:11:42,578 --> 00:11:46,708 Maybe I'll discover things I don't want to know about myself. 92 00:11:46,874 --> 00:11:48,543 Not at all. 93 00:11:48,710 --> 00:11:53,006 You'll discover important things that you want to know. 94 00:11:53,172 --> 00:11:57,385 We don't go places where we really don't want to. 95 00:11:57,552 --> 00:12:01,973 A human mechanism prevents us from entering dark places. 96 00:12:02,140 --> 00:12:06,227 Memory takes us where we need to go. 97 00:12:42,430 --> 00:12:44,766 See all that? 98 00:12:46,392 --> 00:12:47,769 Yes. 99 00:12:48,102 --> 00:12:50,229 It's all mine. 100 00:12:52,940 --> 00:12:54,817 All of it? 101 00:12:55,109 --> 00:12:57,945 From those trees to the river. 102 00:12:58,112 --> 00:13:00,448 - It all belongs to you? - Yes, and the house. 103 00:13:01,532 --> 00:13:03,826 It's about 10 acres. 104 00:13:05,495 --> 00:13:09,415 - All that just from selling falafel? - Just from falafel. 105 00:13:09,582 --> 00:13:12,835 - Wow. - Come and see. 106 00:13:16,839 --> 00:13:20,802 - How much falafel did you sell? - Three years was enough. 107 00:13:21,344 --> 00:13:25,098 In the early '90s, I had a small stand in Utrecht. 108 00:13:25,264 --> 00:13:29,894 Health food was in fashion, the Middle East too. 109 00:13:30,061 --> 00:13:33,731 Falafel is both healthy and Middle Eastern. 110 00:13:34,148 --> 00:13:38,111 Everyone thought you'd become a nuclear physicist. 111 00:13:38,945 --> 00:13:40,154 Who did? 112 00:13:40,613 --> 00:13:44,325 I don't know. Your family, my family, our school friends. 113 00:13:44,951 --> 00:13:50,164 They thought that by the age of 40, you'd be nominated for a Nobel Prize. 114 00:13:50,331 --> 00:13:52,333 By 20, that future was over. 115 00:13:54,293 --> 00:13:55,336 Cold? 116 00:13:55,503 --> 00:13:59,590 - Cold? I'm freezing. - Let's go inside. 117 00:14:00,341 --> 00:14:04,178 We have to walk all that way? 118 00:14:04,345 --> 00:14:07,306 It's funny you've showed up now. 119 00:14:07,473 --> 00:14:09,684 - Why? - When you called... 120 00:14:10,351 --> 00:14:15,022 ...I had just gone out with my son Thomas. He's 7. 121 00:14:15,189 --> 00:14:19,193 He was playing with a toy gun and started asking questions: 122 00:14:19,360 --> 00:14:22,405 "What did you do in the army? Ever shoot anyone?" 123 00:14:22,780 --> 00:14:25,324 - Did you? - I don't know. 124 00:14:25,741 --> 00:14:29,454 Let's go inside and warm up. 125 00:14:29,871 --> 00:14:34,500 Would you mind if I sketch you and your son playing in the snow? 126 00:14:34,667 --> 00:14:35,668 No. 127 00:14:36,502 --> 00:14:40,047 Not at all. Draw as much as you like. 128 00:14:40,214 --> 00:14:41,924 I'll fetch him. 129 00:14:42,091 --> 00:14:45,219 It's fine as long as you draw, but don't film. 130 00:15:55,122 --> 00:16:00,294 As strange as it sounds, we were transported to war... 131 00:16:00,461 --> 00:16:06,008 ...on a little Love Boat leased by the army or God knows what. 132 00:16:06,676 --> 00:16:11,347 They wanted to mislead the enemy and launch a surprise attack. 133 00:16:11,681 --> 00:16:17,520 What do you mean, a "Love Boat"? With Jacuzzis and bars? 134 00:16:17,728 --> 00:16:23,025 - All of that? - That's how I imagined it. 135 00:16:23,401 --> 00:16:29,991 I later found out it was just an old commando boat. 136 00:16:30,157 --> 00:16:35,037 For 18, you seemed pretty bright to me. I never took you for a fighter. 137 00:16:35,246 --> 00:16:39,292 Frankly, it was important to me for a pretty practical reason. 138 00:16:39,458 --> 00:16:43,671 I felt like everyone else was screwing like rabbits... 139 00:16:43,838 --> 00:16:46,716 ...and that I was the only.... How can I put it? 140 00:16:46,882 --> 00:16:50,678 The only nerd good at chess and math... 141 00:16:51,345 --> 00:16:56,183 ...but with masculinity problems. So I had to prove to everyone... 142 00:16:56,475 --> 00:16:59,520 ...that I was the best fighter and some big hero. 143 00:16:59,687 --> 00:17:01,606 Did you succeed? 144 00:17:02,565 --> 00:17:04,817 Yes, surprisingly enough. 145 00:17:05,443 --> 00:17:07,945 I felt that I was strong and capable. 146 00:17:09,238 --> 00:17:16,162 Then the war started and they put us on that damned Love Boat. 147 00:17:16,454 --> 00:17:19,790 - Then I.... - You what? 148 00:17:19,957 --> 00:17:25,630 I puked like a pig. I wondered what the enemy would think. 149 00:17:26,172 --> 00:17:29,216 I finally collapsed on deck and fell asleep. 150 00:17:30,176 --> 00:17:32,928 I sleep when I'm scared. 151 00:17:34,055 --> 00:17:37,183 To this day, I escape into sleep and hallucinate. 152 00:18:19,100 --> 00:18:20,935 Unconscious on the deck... 153 00:18:24,105 --> 00:18:30,444 ...dreaming a woman would come... 154 00:18:34,281 --> 00:18:37,451 ...and take me for the first time... 155 00:18:40,413 --> 00:18:45,209 ...I saw my best friends go up in flames before my eyes. 156 00:18:45,626 --> 00:18:48,713 - Where? - On the boat. 157 00:19:21,537 --> 00:19:26,167 I woke up just before we docked. It's dawn, and we're in a city. 158 00:19:26,333 --> 00:19:28,836 - Which city? - How should I know? 159 00:19:29,295 --> 00:19:31,338 Sidon, I think. 160 00:19:31,964 --> 00:19:37,261 Out of pure fear and anxiety, we start shooting like lunatics. 161 00:19:39,638 --> 00:19:41,807 - At whom? - How do I know? 162 00:19:44,351 --> 00:19:46,937 Then an old Mercedes drives up. 163 00:19:47,104 --> 00:19:50,274 Everyone fires at it like crazy. 164 00:19:53,861 --> 00:19:56,530 Two years of training, and the fear... 165 00:19:56,697 --> 00:19:59,700 ...the uncontrollable fear.... 166 00:20:02,495 --> 00:20:07,875 Then the silence. The terrible silence of death. 167 00:20:09,210 --> 00:20:10,377 At daybreak... 168 00:20:11,879 --> 00:20:16,717 ...we could see our destruction... 169 00:20:19,595 --> 00:20:22,223 ...without knowing where we were. 170 00:20:22,389 --> 00:20:24,600 Lying in the car.... 171 00:20:26,060 --> 00:20:28,145 What was in the car? 172 00:20:28,312 --> 00:20:30,064 The bodies of a whole family. 173 00:20:31,899 --> 00:20:33,400 Why did you come here? 174 00:20:33,859 --> 00:20:36,904 Me? I.... 175 00:20:37,071 --> 00:20:38,572 I lost my memory. 176 00:20:39,240 --> 00:20:41,826 - In an accident? - What? 177 00:20:42,034 --> 00:20:45,412 - Did you have an accident? - What do you mean? 178 00:20:45,579 --> 00:20:48,499 In a car or at work? 179 00:20:48,707 --> 00:20:51,418 No, I didn't have an accident. 180 00:20:51,585 --> 00:20:56,924 I just can't remember anything about the Lebanon War. 181 00:20:57,091 --> 00:21:01,595 Just one image in my mind. 182 00:21:01,762 --> 00:21:04,598 Somehow you're in it. 183 00:21:05,683 --> 00:21:06,725 What image? 184 00:21:44,305 --> 00:21:47,308 Were you there too? 185 00:21:48,934 --> 00:21:50,311 It's hard to say. 186 00:21:50,477 --> 00:21:52,479 What do you mean? Were you there? 187 00:21:52,646 --> 00:21:55,065 It's hard to say. 188 00:21:55,357 --> 00:21:57,818 I don't remember anything about the massacre. 189 00:21:58,485 --> 00:22:02,656 But you were in Beirut when the massacre took place. 190 00:22:02,823 --> 00:22:04,408 Yes, I remember being there. 191 00:22:04,575 --> 00:22:07,661 I'll never forget us marching into Beirut. 192 00:22:07,828 --> 00:22:10,831 But the massacre.... How did you say it? 193 00:22:10,998 --> 00:22:13,751 That's not stored in my system. 194 00:22:14,251 --> 00:22:16,879 - Right. - Massacre.... 195 00:22:53,457 --> 00:22:57,753 Then it happened in a taxi to Amsterdam Airport. 196 00:22:57,920 --> 00:23:01,215 Suddenly, all the memories came back. 197 00:23:01,548 --> 00:23:04,218 Not a hallucination, nor my subconscious. 198 00:23:04,385 --> 00:23:09,223 The first day of the war. Barely 19, I haven't even started shaving. 199 00:23:09,390 --> 00:23:12,476 We're driving down a road. Orchards on one side... 200 00:23:12,643 --> 00:23:17,648 ...the sea on the other. We're shooting everywhere... 201 00:23:17,815 --> 00:23:20,067 ...at everything, until nightfall. 202 00:23:24,822 --> 00:23:28,742 That evening, when we stopped, an officer tells me: 203 00:23:28,909 --> 00:23:32,496 "Load up the dead and wounded. 204 00:23:32,663 --> 00:23:35,374 Go and dump them." 205 00:23:35,582 --> 00:23:37,084 "Dump?" 206 00:23:37,251 --> 00:23:38,794 "Yes, dump." 207 00:23:38,961 --> 00:23:40,754 "Where?" 208 00:23:40,921 --> 00:23:47,094 "How should I know? Out there, near that bright light. 209 00:23:47,261 --> 00:23:49,930 That's where they're dumped." 210 00:23:56,186 --> 00:24:00,357 So I drive all the way back. 211 00:24:00,524 --> 00:24:05,320 I had never seen an open wound or any kind of bleeding before. 212 00:24:05,487 --> 00:24:07,781 Now I was in command of a tank... 213 00:24:07,948 --> 00:24:13,037 ...full of the dead and wounded, looking for a bright light, salvation. 214 00:24:20,627 --> 00:24:23,756 What should we do? Why don't you tell us what to do? 215 00:24:24,256 --> 00:24:26,300 - Shoot. - At who? 216 00:24:26,467 --> 00:24:28,385 How do I know? Just shoot. 217 00:24:28,552 --> 00:24:32,222 - Isn't it better to pray? - Then pray and shoot. 218 00:24:43,984 --> 00:24:48,197 Finally we see the helicopter lights. Like halos. 219 00:24:48,363 --> 00:24:53,327 As we get closer to the light, we see dead and wounded everywhere. 220 00:25:28,362 --> 00:25:33,617 We unload mechanically, as if we're not even present. 221 00:25:33,784 --> 00:25:36,578 Then we turn around and drive off. 222 00:26:02,980 --> 00:26:06,150 On the first day of the war... 223 00:26:06,316 --> 00:26:09,153 ...I transported the dead and wounded... 224 00:26:09,319 --> 00:26:12,239 ...from tanks on the coast road. 225 00:26:13,574 --> 00:26:15,826 I'm looking for people who were with me. 226 00:26:15,993 --> 00:26:19,413 Could your men have been among them? 227 00:26:19,580 --> 00:26:24,585 It sounds logical. We were in the coastal area. 228 00:26:24,751 --> 00:26:28,255 In the western sector. It's possible. 229 00:26:28,422 --> 00:26:32,301 Do you recognize me here? 230 00:26:35,012 --> 00:26:36,430 No. 231 00:26:37,764 --> 00:26:41,143 I don't recognize myself either. 232 00:26:55,282 --> 00:26:59,703 Crossing the border at Rosh Hanikra felt like an excursion. 233 00:26:59,870 --> 00:27:01,455 We took photos... 234 00:27:01,622 --> 00:27:03,916 ...we told jokes. 235 00:27:04,082 --> 00:27:09,129 We had time to fool around before going into action. 236 00:27:09,922 --> 00:27:16,428 Good morning, Lebanon 237 00:27:17,095 --> 00:27:23,477 Good morning, Lebanon 238 00:27:24,394 --> 00:27:30,651 Too much pain to carry on 239 00:27:31,610 --> 00:27:37,866 Good morning, Lebanon 240 00:27:38,033 --> 00:27:43,497 The landscape was beautiful, trees all around. 241 00:27:43,664 --> 00:27:49,336 A few scattered houses. A really idyllic pastoral scene. 242 00:27:49,503 --> 00:27:52,965 The slow drive allowed us to enjoy the scenery. 243 00:27:53,131 --> 00:27:59,972 May your dreams come true 244 00:28:00,722 --> 00:28:07,813 May your nightmares pass 245 00:28:07,980 --> 00:28:13,402 Your existence Is a blessing, Lebanon 246 00:28:13,568 --> 00:28:17,197 In a tank, you always feel really safe. 247 00:28:17,364 --> 00:28:22,327 A tank is a very massive enclosed vehicle. 248 00:28:22,494 --> 00:28:24,621 Inside the tank... 249 00:28:24,788 --> 00:28:26,832 ...we were protected. 250 00:28:29,751 --> 00:28:36,425 You are torn to pieces 251 00:28:36,842 --> 00:28:43,682 You bleed to death in my arms 252 00:28:44,224 --> 00:28:47,394 You bleed to death in my arms 253 00:28:47,686 --> 00:28:51,231 You are the love of my life 254 00:28:51,648 --> 00:28:58,238 Oh, my short, short life 255 00:28:58,655 --> 00:29:03,910 Tear me to pieces 256 00:29:05,996 --> 00:29:08,582 I'm bleeding 257 00:29:12,544 --> 00:29:17,883 Suddenly our commander stopped responding. We lost contact. 258 00:29:18,050 --> 00:29:19,843 - Was he beside you? - Yes. 259 00:29:20,010 --> 00:29:24,848 I saw his head slumped forward. 260 00:29:25,891 --> 00:29:30,645 I went down inside and saw blood, blood in the tank. 261 00:29:30,812 --> 00:29:36,526 The blood was coming from his neck. 262 00:29:39,196 --> 00:29:40,614 You were next in command? 263 00:29:40,781 --> 00:29:43,533 Yes, I was. 264 00:29:43,700 --> 00:29:46,495 But I didn't react immediately. 265 00:29:46,995 --> 00:29:52,292 We just stayed in the tank without even thinking of firing back. 266 00:29:56,004 --> 00:29:57,964 Two minutes later, there was an explosion. 267 00:29:58,131 --> 00:30:01,051 Everyone tried to escape from the tank hysterically... 268 00:30:05,347 --> 00:30:08,809 ...without weapons or anything. 269 00:30:08,975 --> 00:30:12,145 Those who stayed inside were killed in the tank. 270 00:30:18,402 --> 00:30:20,904 I ran as fast as I could... 271 00:30:21,321 --> 00:30:23,990 ...in zigzags towards the sea. 272 00:30:43,844 --> 00:30:45,429 My only thought: 273 00:30:45,595 --> 00:30:50,100 "It's over. I'm done for. 274 00:30:50,267 --> 00:30:54,855 They'll be here any minute. All I can do is wait for the end." 275 00:31:01,403 --> 00:31:05,615 I saw the building from which they were shooting, and the commander. 276 00:31:05,782 --> 00:31:11,204 I hoped he'd get closer. 277 00:31:38,231 --> 00:31:42,277 I don't know why, but he started to retreat. 278 00:31:53,830 --> 00:31:59,127 I felt abandoned by our forces. 279 00:32:03,423 --> 00:32:08,094 I imagined how my mother would react. 280 00:32:08,261 --> 00:32:12,974 We're very close. I was always like her right hand. 281 00:32:13,141 --> 00:32:17,896 I'm the only one who helps out at home. 282 00:32:18,897 --> 00:32:20,941 Like the first-born son. 283 00:32:23,777 --> 00:32:28,448 I took a peek. I saw them chatting, smoking. 284 00:32:28,615 --> 00:32:30,784 I wondered why... 285 00:32:31,117 --> 00:32:33,495 ...they didn't notice me. 286 00:32:34,871 --> 00:32:39,125 I peeked a few more times. I realized that they probably thought... 287 00:32:39,292 --> 00:32:44,256 ...that everyone was killed in the attack. 288 00:32:44,422 --> 00:32:47,801 I decided to wait until dark. 289 00:32:47,968 --> 00:32:51,012 I had a good place to hide. 290 00:32:59,521 --> 00:33:01,982 I don't know why, but I decided... 291 00:33:02,190 --> 00:33:05,151 ...to crawl out to the sea. 292 00:33:10,031 --> 00:33:16,746 I didn't want to stay close to shore, so I swam quite far out. 293 00:33:17,497 --> 00:33:22,294 When I felt I was far out enough, I started swimming south. 294 00:33:22,460 --> 00:33:23,503 How was the sea? 295 00:33:23,670 --> 00:33:28,758 Really calm, no waves. 296 00:33:28,925 --> 00:33:31,845 I felt calm and at peace. Just me and the sea. 297 00:33:47,569 --> 00:33:51,281 I felt safe because the sea was calm and peaceful. 298 00:33:51,448 --> 00:33:54,534 But I was still really afraid... 299 00:33:55,577 --> 00:33:58,913 ...that my strength would fail and I'd drown. 300 00:33:59,080 --> 00:34:04,878 Or maybe someone might spot me and shoot at me, kill me. 301 00:34:14,971 --> 00:34:19,893 While swimming through this peaceful water... 302 00:34:20,060 --> 00:34:23,521 ...I suddenly heard a loud noise. 303 00:34:23,688 --> 00:34:25,899 I felt the water pulsating. 304 00:34:26,066 --> 00:34:30,945 I felt the turbulent water enveloping me. 305 00:34:31,112 --> 00:34:33,114 My body shook with fear. 306 00:35:04,646 --> 00:35:09,359 I saw lights in the distance and I headed in that direction. 307 00:35:09,526 --> 00:35:12,445 They might be Israeli forces. 308 00:35:12,612 --> 00:35:16,866 I kept swimming, but felt my strength was dwindling. 309 00:35:17,033 --> 00:35:19,703 I could barely move my limbs. 310 00:35:31,047 --> 00:35:35,802 Sometimes I simply let the water carry me along. 311 00:35:44,269 --> 00:35:47,105 I eventually reached shore and started walking. 312 00:35:47,272 --> 00:35:52,652 I heard voices speaking Hebrew on the two-way radio. 313 00:35:52,819 --> 00:35:55,989 I knew... 314 00:35:56,156 --> 00:36:00,326 ...that I had to get to them despite my exhaustion. 315 00:36:08,001 --> 00:36:12,464 To my amazement, it was the regiment that had abandoned me. 316 00:36:16,176 --> 00:36:20,180 After I got back to my regiment... 317 00:36:20,346 --> 00:36:22,557 ...I felt like.... 318 00:36:24,476 --> 00:36:27,854 Like it was me who had abandoned my comrades. 319 00:36:28,021 --> 00:36:32,233 I always felt that they regarded me like.... 320 00:36:35,278 --> 00:36:39,657 Like someone who didn't help rescue his friends. 321 00:36:39,824 --> 00:36:46,539 As if I had fled the battlefield just to save my own skin. 322 00:36:46,706 --> 00:36:49,209 I sometimes felt very uneasy. 323 00:36:49,375 --> 00:36:51,628 I broke off contact with the families of the dead. 324 00:36:51,795 --> 00:36:58,968 At first I visited their graves, but then I just stopped. 325 00:36:59,135 --> 00:37:03,556 I wanted to forget. I didn't want to relive those moments. 326 00:37:04,599 --> 00:37:09,020 - Visiting the graves, you felt.... - Guilty. 327 00:37:09,187 --> 00:37:12,899 I felt guilty standing at their graves. 328 00:37:13,066 --> 00:37:15,610 As if I didn't do enough. 329 00:37:16,069 --> 00:37:17,654 I didn't do enough. 330 00:37:17,821 --> 00:37:24,077 I wasn't the hero type who carries weapons and saves everyone's life. 331 00:37:24,244 --> 00:37:27,831 That's not me. I'm not the type. 332 00:38:05,201 --> 00:38:08,538 I bombed Sidon today 333 00:38:10,290 --> 00:38:15,044 Amid the clouds of smoke at dawn 334 00:38:15,628 --> 00:38:20,091 I almost went home in a coffin 335 00:38:21,009 --> 00:38:24,304 I bombed Sidon today 336 00:38:29,058 --> 00:38:32,478 One month after Ronny Dayag swam back home safely... 337 00:38:32,645 --> 00:38:36,566 ...the army took the beach from which he had fled. 338 00:38:36,733 --> 00:38:40,570 They told us we'd soon attack Beirut and that we'd all die. 339 00:38:41,070 --> 00:38:45,825 But on the beach, we didn't think much about death. 340 00:38:45,992 --> 00:38:48,494 I had a hut of banana leaves. 341 00:38:48,661 --> 00:38:50,747 Thinking back... 342 00:38:50,914 --> 00:38:57,003 ...the smell of patchouli oil still makes me nauseous. 343 00:38:57,545 --> 00:39:02,508 It was really popular in the '80s. For my roommate Frenkel... 344 00:39:02,675 --> 00:39:08,556 ...patchouli was not just a fragrance, it was a way of life. 345 00:39:37,377 --> 00:39:39,379 Patchouli. How do you use it? 346 00:39:40,755 --> 00:39:42,215 Show me. 347 00:39:43,633 --> 00:39:48,137 You sprinkle a drop on your hand, like this. 348 00:39:56,396 --> 00:39:57,772 This way... 349 00:39:57,939 --> 00:40:01,275 ...your comrades always know you're there. 350 00:40:01,442 --> 00:40:05,363 I remember my men telling me: 351 00:40:05,530 --> 00:40:10,576 "Frenkel, you walk too fast. Like a rabbit." 352 00:40:13,246 --> 00:40:16,874 So what do you do? Patchouli. 353 00:40:17,041 --> 00:40:20,837 In the dark, at night.... They couldn't miss me. 354 00:40:21,004 --> 00:40:25,174 The scent is really strong, even out in the field. 355 00:40:25,967 --> 00:40:27,427 I still use it. 356 00:40:29,554 --> 00:40:33,099 I bombed Beirut today 357 00:40:34,892 --> 00:40:38,896 I bombed Beirut every day 358 00:40:40,023 --> 00:40:44,861 If I came close to death I couldn't say 359 00:40:45,611 --> 00:40:48,614 I bombed Beirut every day 360 00:40:50,700 --> 00:40:54,287 At the pull of a trigger 361 00:40:55,955 --> 00:40:59,333 We can send strangers Straight to hell 362 00:41:01,377 --> 00:41:05,757 Sure, we kill some innocent Along the way 363 00:41:06,716 --> 00:41:11,137 If I came close to death I couldn't say 364 00:41:12,055 --> 00:41:14,724 I bombed Beirut every day 365 00:41:16,142 --> 00:41:19,645 Our daily routine was this: 366 00:41:19,812 --> 00:41:21,481 Get up in the morning... 367 00:41:22,648 --> 00:41:27,361 ...prepare breakfast on those frying pans... 368 00:41:27,528 --> 00:41:29,822 ...potted beef and eggs. 369 00:41:30,156 --> 00:41:32,825 - On the beach. - On the beach. 370 00:41:32,992 --> 00:41:34,077 Take a quick swim... 371 00:41:34,452 --> 00:41:38,331 ...back into uniform, then go after some terrorists. 372 00:43:05,877 --> 00:43:07,920 Someone yelled, "Frenkel!" 373 00:43:09,922 --> 00:43:12,258 I noticed a boy holding an RPG. 374 00:43:12,550 --> 00:43:14,552 A kid. 375 00:43:27,773 --> 00:43:29,942 Frenkel, was I there too? 376 00:43:30,359 --> 00:43:35,323 Sure. From training camp, you were with me wherever I went. 377 00:43:35,656 --> 00:43:38,367 - Even there? - Yes, there too. 378 00:43:38,701 --> 00:43:42,330 Good to know. Of course I was there. 379 00:43:43,456 --> 00:43:47,627 Is it possible that I can't remember such a dramatic event? 380 00:43:48,044 --> 00:43:49,754 We call them dissociative events. 381 00:43:51,297 --> 00:43:54,926 It's when a person is in a situation but feels outside it. 382 00:43:55,092 --> 00:43:59,222 I was once visited by a young man, an amateur photographer. 383 00:43:59,388 --> 00:44:03,517 I asked him in 1983, "How did you survive through that grueling war?" 384 00:44:03,684 --> 00:44:08,105 He replied, "It was quite easy. I regarded it as a long day trip." 385 00:44:08,272 --> 00:44:12,026 He told himself, "Wow, what great scenes: 386 00:44:12,193 --> 00:44:15,446 Shooting, artillery, wounded people, screaming...." 387 00:44:15,613 --> 00:44:20,660 He looked at everything as if through an imaginary camera. 388 00:44:34,215 --> 00:44:37,343 Then something happened: 389 00:44:37,510 --> 00:44:39,971 His camera broke. 390 00:44:52,483 --> 00:44:55,444 He said that the situation turned traumatic for him... 391 00:44:55,611 --> 00:45:00,491 ...when they arrived in the vicinity of the stables in Beirut. 392 00:45:00,658 --> 00:45:01,993 The Hippodrome. 393 00:45:02,159 --> 00:45:06,205 He saw a huge number of carcasses... 394 00:45:06,372 --> 00:45:10,459 ...of slaughtered Arabian horses. 395 00:45:10,626 --> 00:45:16,215 "It broke my heart," he said. "What had those horses done... 396 00:45:16,382 --> 00:45:18,718 ...to deserve such suffering?" 397 00:45:18,884 --> 00:45:22,680 He couldn't handle seeing those dead and wounded horses. 398 00:45:22,847 --> 00:45:25,725 He had used a mechanism to remain outside events... 399 00:45:25,891 --> 00:45:29,645 ...as if watching the war on film instead of participating. 400 00:45:29,812 --> 00:45:32,148 This protected him. 401 00:45:32,315 --> 00:45:37,403 Once pulled into the events, he could no longer deny reality. 402 00:45:37,570 --> 00:45:41,365 Horror surrounded him and he freaked out. 403 00:45:48,831 --> 00:45:52,918 You told me earlier that you can't remember being in the orchard... 404 00:45:53,085 --> 00:45:56,255 ...where the boy with the RPG was. 405 00:45:56,422 --> 00:45:59,842 Can you remember other things? Like going home... 406 00:46:00,009 --> 00:46:02,928 ...chatting with friends, events from that time... 407 00:46:03,095 --> 00:46:07,391 ...something that maybe reminds you of that time? 408 00:46:07,558 --> 00:46:10,770 - Yes, in detail. - For example? 409 00:46:10,936 --> 00:46:13,773 I can remember perfectly every furlough. 410 00:47:03,948 --> 00:47:08,411 I remember when I was about 10, there was a war going on. 411 00:47:08,577 --> 00:47:11,789 And everything came to a halt. All the fathers were at the front. 412 00:47:11,956 --> 00:47:16,377 All children sat with their mothers, closed up indoors... 413 00:47:16,544 --> 00:47:19,463 ...behind closed blinds in the dark. 414 00:47:19,839 --> 00:47:24,343 Just waiting for a plane to drop a bomb and kill them all. 415 00:47:25,094 --> 00:47:28,514 No one even dreamed of going outside. 416 00:47:29,473 --> 00:47:34,353 When I went home from Lebanon for the first time in six weeks... 417 00:47:34,520 --> 00:47:37,982 ...I saw that life was carrying on normally. 418 00:47:50,035 --> 00:47:55,249 My goal on leave was to get back my girlfriend, Yaeli. 419 00:47:55,416 --> 00:47:58,711 She had dumped me the night before all of this started. 420 00:48:19,190 --> 00:48:23,694 Remember how? Add some Sprite. 421 00:48:23,861 --> 00:48:25,613 Ready? 422 00:48:30,618 --> 00:48:32,244 Bottoms up! 423 00:48:35,664 --> 00:48:37,791 The memories are coming back. 424 00:48:37,958 --> 00:48:43,005 I met people who served with me. I almost have the full picture. 425 00:48:43,422 --> 00:48:46,467 - At which point? - The first day of the war... 426 00:48:46,884 --> 00:48:49,261 ...the siege on Beirut. 427 00:48:49,428 --> 00:48:51,764 You remember that Yaeli dumped you a week before? 428 00:48:52,681 --> 00:48:55,100 How do you know? 429 00:48:57,686 --> 00:49:01,065 Didn't you know that I was in love with her for years? 430 00:49:03,108 --> 00:49:06,195 No, I didn't know that. 431 00:49:06,362 --> 00:49:08,030 It's true. 432 00:49:09,949 --> 00:49:12,451 What's wrong? That was 20 years ago. 433 00:49:12,618 --> 00:49:15,955 It's okay. I'm not angry. 434 00:49:18,207 --> 00:49:21,126 At least you had your home, your family. 435 00:49:21,293 --> 00:49:25,130 What home? What family? 436 00:49:25,297 --> 00:49:26,799 You have no idea. 437 00:49:26,966 --> 00:49:28,008 My father.... 438 00:49:28,801 --> 00:49:34,557 To comfort me, he told me that in his war... 439 00:49:34,723 --> 00:49:36,809 ...World War Il... 440 00:49:36,976 --> 00:49:38,811 ...Russian soldiers in Stalingrad... 441 00:49:38,978 --> 00:49:42,231 ...were given 48 hours' leave only after one year on the front. 442 00:49:51,657 --> 00:49:57,079 They got on a train, arrived home at the station... 443 00:49:57,413 --> 00:49:59,790 ...kissed their girlfriends on the platform... 444 00:49:59,957 --> 00:50:04,503 ...then had to get back on board to head back to the front. 445 00:50:04,920 --> 00:50:06,630 Understand? 446 00:50:09,675 --> 00:50:14,597 He thought it would comfort me. In fact, he was right. 447 00:50:14,763 --> 00:50:18,350 After only 24 hours, I was called back to duty. 448 00:50:18,517 --> 00:50:21,729 Back then, a new trend started: car bombs. 449 00:50:22,146 --> 00:50:24,023 Still popular today. 450 00:50:24,189 --> 00:50:26,692 They're a blast. 451 00:50:27,067 --> 00:50:29,236 A real blast. 452 00:50:29,695 --> 00:50:36,035 So I arrive at this villa on the outskirts of Beirut. 453 00:50:41,540 --> 00:50:44,209 Everything is made of gold. 454 00:50:44,376 --> 00:50:49,131 Fancy sinks, marble, gold fixtures and all that stuff. 455 00:50:50,716 --> 00:50:55,554 An officer sits in front of the TV. He doesn't look at me. 456 00:50:55,721 --> 00:50:56,930 He keeps repeating: 457 00:50:57,097 --> 00:50:59,642 Fast forward. 458 00:51:00,017 --> 00:51:01,644 Fast forward. 459 00:51:02,311 --> 00:51:03,729 THE PLUMBER COMES 2 460 00:51:03,896 --> 00:51:09,234 - I'm here to check your plumbing. - Down here. 461 00:51:13,822 --> 00:51:16,909 - Have you seen my tool? - Which tool? 462 00:51:17,076 --> 00:51:18,744 The big, long one. 463 00:51:22,539 --> 00:51:24,333 Your pipes are so deep. 464 00:51:24,500 --> 00:51:25,668 Fast forward. 465 00:51:37,262 --> 00:51:38,972 Stop. 466 00:51:40,140 --> 00:51:43,435 Hello. Is that your red Mercedes outside? 467 00:51:43,602 --> 00:51:47,439 I'm busy servicing a customer. 468 00:51:50,776 --> 00:51:53,737 He changes the tape and says: 469 00:51:53,904 --> 00:51:57,783 We received a tip-off about a red Mercedes. 470 00:51:57,950 --> 00:52:00,411 - It's coming to blow up your men. - So? 471 00:52:00,577 --> 00:52:02,579 Blow it up first. 472 00:52:02,746 --> 00:52:06,333 - Every red Mercedes? - Are you an idiot? 473 00:52:06,959 --> 00:52:09,461 Did the Mercedes come? 474 00:52:09,628 --> 00:52:15,300 We waited all night for the exploding Mercedes... 475 00:52:15,467 --> 00:52:18,303 ...for this impending disaster. 476 00:52:55,424 --> 00:53:00,804 Then, in the middle of the night, the phone rang. 477 00:53:01,597 --> 00:53:03,223 Bashir is dead. 478 00:53:04,433 --> 00:53:05,934 - Which Bashir? - Bashir Gemayel... 479 00:53:06,351 --> 00:53:09,188 ...the elected president of Lebanon. 480 00:53:09,354 --> 00:53:13,776 A brother, an ally, a Christian. Murdered. 481 00:53:14,318 --> 00:53:18,530 Wake everyone up. You'll be in Beirut in two hours. 482 00:53:19,031 --> 00:53:22,659 I don't remember much about the flight to Beirut... 483 00:53:22,826 --> 00:53:27,080 ...except that I was having obsessive thoughts about death... 484 00:53:27,247 --> 00:53:31,251 ...because my girlfriend Yaeli had dumped me the week before. 485 00:53:31,418 --> 00:53:34,797 Death would be my revenge. 486 00:53:35,005 --> 00:53:37,716 She would be ridden with guilt... 487 00:53:38,133 --> 00:53:40,052 ...for the rest of her life. 488 00:53:43,972 --> 00:53:47,309 While fantasizing about my death... 489 00:53:47,476 --> 00:53:49,228 ...we approach Beirut. 490 00:53:49,686 --> 00:53:52,439 A city with hotels, beaches... 491 00:53:52,606 --> 00:53:54,650 ...and people scurrying about. 492 00:53:54,817 --> 00:53:57,903 We land at the international airport. 493 00:53:58,070 --> 00:54:03,659 Our Hercules army helicopter lands next to jets from Air France, TWA... 494 00:54:03,826 --> 00:54:05,994 ...and British Airways. 495 00:54:06,161 --> 00:54:09,998 I was excited like I was going on a trip abroad... 496 00:54:10,165 --> 00:54:13,335 ...excited all over. 497 00:54:20,551 --> 00:54:22,761 At some point I simply take off... 498 00:54:22,928 --> 00:54:25,931 ...and walk into the terminal. 499 00:54:26,348 --> 00:54:30,018 It felt as if I was on a leisure trip... 500 00:54:30,435 --> 00:54:33,689 ...a sort of hallucination. 501 00:54:33,856 --> 00:54:36,108 Like standing in a terminal... 502 00:54:36,275 --> 00:54:39,194 ...waiting to choose my destination. 503 00:54:39,361 --> 00:54:42,447 Before that '80s departures board... 504 00:54:42,614 --> 00:54:46,618 ...the choice is all mine. 505 00:54:46,785 --> 00:54:49,913 I see the 14:10 to London... 506 00:54:50,080 --> 00:54:52,291 ...the 15:20 to Paris... 507 00:54:52,457 --> 00:54:55,294 ...the 16:00 to New York. 508 00:54:56,086 --> 00:55:00,465 I wander through the terminal and see the duty-free shops: 509 00:55:00,632 --> 00:55:03,844 Jewelry, tobacco... 510 00:55:04,011 --> 00:55:05,220 ...alcohol. 511 00:55:05,387 --> 00:55:09,892 While I'm still on this trip, I suddenly realize what's going on. 512 00:55:10,058 --> 00:55:13,770 Through the window I see... 513 00:55:13,937 --> 00:55:19,568 ...that all the TWA and Air France planes are just bombed-out shells. 514 00:55:19,985 --> 00:55:22,070 And the shops are empty. 515 00:55:22,321 --> 00:55:24,031 They've long since been looted. 516 00:55:24,197 --> 00:55:29,328 And the schedule board hasn't changed for months. 517 00:55:30,412 --> 00:55:33,624 Then I start to hear sounds, voices. 518 00:55:33,790 --> 00:55:38,629 I hear shelling in the city and the bombing by the air force. 519 00:55:38,795 --> 00:55:40,631 Slowly I begin to realize where I am... 520 00:55:40,797 --> 00:55:44,009 ...and I am afraid of what will happen next. 521 00:55:48,513 --> 00:55:52,809 We start walking from the airport to the city. 522 00:55:52,976 --> 00:55:56,313 Tall high-rise hotels hover above us. 523 00:55:57,272 --> 00:56:00,025 The sea is at our side. 524 00:56:07,324 --> 00:56:12,871 We walk along a promenade towards a large junction. 525 00:56:13,997 --> 00:56:19,878 Then we come under sniper fire from the upper floors of a hotel. 526 00:56:20,045 --> 00:56:25,550 We can't see where it's coming from or who is shooting. 527 00:56:25,717 --> 00:56:30,889 A wounded soldier was lying at the junction, but we couldn't get to him. 528 00:56:31,390 --> 00:56:33,558 We were scared to death. 529 00:56:46,071 --> 00:56:48,365 Then, in the middle of this hell... 530 00:56:48,532 --> 00:56:53,120 ...that TV correspondent Ron Ben-Yishai suddenly shows up. 531 00:56:53,745 --> 00:56:59,084 He's walking upright, dodging bullets like Superman. 532 00:56:59,251 --> 00:57:03,880 Strolling along as if nothing's wrong, while bullets whiz past him. 533 00:57:04,047 --> 00:57:08,343 In front of him, a terrified cameraman crawls forward. 534 00:57:08,510 --> 00:57:13,598 Trembling with fear, he can't see beyond his helmet. 535 00:57:13,974 --> 00:57:16,268 It was a large junction. 536 00:57:17,602 --> 00:57:23,316 One lane led directly into Hamra Street... 537 00:57:23,483 --> 00:57:27,112 ...to the West Beirut district of Hamra. 538 00:57:27,279 --> 00:57:31,450 I remember the sizzling sound, a sort of hissing noise.... 539 00:57:31,616 --> 00:57:36,288 They were firing masses of RPGs, and it sounded... 540 00:57:36,496 --> 00:57:38,623 ...like a Native American arrow-shooting range. 541 00:57:38,790 --> 00:57:42,627 Before an RPG explodes, it makes this hissing noise. 542 00:57:44,546 --> 00:57:47,841 You don't hear an explosion... 543 00:57:48,008 --> 00:57:52,471 ...but just this hissing, then the walls shattering. 544 00:57:52,637 --> 00:57:59,227 During all this, civilians are seen on balconies: 545 00:57:59,394 --> 00:58:01,563 Women, children... 546 00:58:01,730 --> 00:58:07,152 ...and old people are watching as if it were a film. 547 00:58:19,289 --> 00:58:25,212 They are shooting at us from all directions. 548 00:58:30,509 --> 00:58:33,428 And we can't get across. 549 00:58:33,595 --> 00:58:37,682 Throughout my military service, I was a MAG shooter. 550 00:58:37,849 --> 00:58:40,602 During my officer's training, I thought: 551 00:58:40,769 --> 00:58:44,773 "You've used a MAG for so long, why not try something else?" 552 00:58:44,940 --> 00:58:46,066 So they gave me a Galil. 553 00:58:46,858 --> 00:58:53,406 And while they're shooting at us from all directions... 554 00:58:53,573 --> 00:58:59,204 ...I realize that I can't shoot with the Galil like I could before. 555 00:58:59,371 --> 00:59:03,917 I missed the good old MAG that I was familiar with. 556 00:59:04,835 --> 00:59:09,005 So I say to Erez, "Erez, do me a favor. 557 00:59:10,966 --> 00:59:15,512 Give me your MAG. I won't make it across with the Galil. 558 00:59:15,679 --> 00:59:19,057 Give me your MAG and we'll cross the street. 559 00:59:19,224 --> 00:59:20,308 I'll shoot better." 560 00:59:21,476 --> 00:59:24,980 He says, "Frenkel, are you nuts? 561 00:59:25,147 --> 00:59:30,694 They're attacking us! Stop babbling and shoot!" 562 00:59:32,737 --> 00:59:35,157 I finally realize that I must... 563 00:59:35,323 --> 00:59:38,743 ...take drastic steps. I grab him and say: 564 00:59:38,910 --> 00:59:46,251 "Listen, Erez, give me the MAG, or I'll take it by force." 565 01:00:10,233 --> 01:00:12,444 Whether an eternity or just a minute... 566 01:00:12,944 --> 01:00:15,322 ...there was Frenkel at the junction... 567 01:00:15,488 --> 01:00:18,825 ...with bullets flying past him in every direction. 568 01:00:19,117 --> 01:00:21,995 Instead of crossing the junction... 569 01:00:22,162 --> 01:00:25,457 ...I saw him dancing, as if in a trance. 570 01:00:26,625 --> 01:00:30,629 He cursed the shooters. Like he wanted to stay there forever. 571 01:00:30,795 --> 01:00:35,383 As if he wanted to show off his waltz amid the gunfire... 572 01:00:35,550 --> 01:00:39,012 ...with the posters of Bashir above his head. 573 01:00:39,179 --> 01:00:42,515 And Bashir's followers... 574 01:00:42,682 --> 01:00:45,060 ...preparing their big revenge just 200 yards away: 575 01:00:45,227 --> 01:00:49,814 The Sabra and Shatila massacre. 576 01:00:59,157 --> 01:01:02,911 I'm starting to remember. 577 01:01:03,078 --> 01:01:06,206 I've met people, I've heard stories. 578 01:01:06,373 --> 01:01:08,750 Stories about myself. 579 01:01:08,917 --> 01:01:11,086 I didn't want to believe them. 580 01:01:12,754 --> 01:01:16,216 So what can't you remember? 581 01:01:16,383 --> 01:01:21,513 The day of the massacre. I can remember everything else. 582 01:01:22,180 --> 01:01:27,018 I don't understand why people were so surprised... 583 01:01:27,185 --> 01:01:29,646 ...that the Phalangists carried out the massacre. 584 01:01:29,813 --> 01:01:33,733 I knew all along how ruthless they were. 585 01:01:38,196 --> 01:01:42,158 During the storming of Beirut, we were in the slaughterhouse. 586 01:01:42,325 --> 01:01:46,413 - Where? - The slaughterhouse, that junkyard... 587 01:01:46,579 --> 01:01:51,918 ...where they took the Palestinians, interrogated them, and executed them. 588 01:01:52,085 --> 01:01:54,879 It was like being on an LSD trip. 589 01:02:02,762 --> 01:02:05,974 They carried body parts of murdered Palestinians... 590 01:02:06,141 --> 01:02:08,727 ...preserved in jars of formaldehyde. 591 01:02:10,812 --> 01:02:16,026 They had fingers, eyeballs, anything you wanted. 592 01:02:21,281 --> 01:02:24,075 And always pictures of Bashir. 593 01:02:24,784 --> 01:02:28,413 Bashir pendants, Bashir watches, Bashir this, Bashir that. 594 01:02:28,580 --> 01:02:34,711 Bashir was to them what David Bowie was to me. 595 01:02:34,878 --> 01:02:40,091 A star, an idol, a prince, admirable. 596 01:02:40,383 --> 01:02:43,928 I think they even felt an eroticism for him. 597 01:02:44,095 --> 01:02:45,764 Totally erotic. 598 01:02:47,223 --> 01:02:52,604 Their idol was about to become king. We were the ones to crown him. 599 01:02:52,771 --> 01:02:55,190 The next day he was murdered. 600 01:02:55,357 --> 01:02:59,736 It was obvious they'd avenge his death in some perverse way. 601 01:03:00,153 --> 01:03:03,281 It was as if their wife had been murdered. 602 01:03:03,448 --> 01:03:06,910 This was about family honor, which runs deep. 603 01:03:10,038 --> 01:03:11,331 Why did you come back? 604 01:03:11,915 --> 01:03:18,129 I'm still having these hallucinations about the massacre on the beach. 605 01:03:18,380 --> 01:03:20,799 And you're there with me. 606 01:04:00,755 --> 01:04:02,757 You're crazy. 607 01:04:02,924 --> 01:04:05,051 You're obsessed. 608 01:04:05,218 --> 01:04:09,597 Beach? What are you talking about? Who was on the beach that night? 609 01:04:09,764 --> 01:04:12,267 What beach? 610 01:04:23,361 --> 01:04:26,448 I've reached a dead end. 611 01:04:26,614 --> 01:04:31,202 I can't find anyone who was with me at the massacre. 612 01:04:31,494 --> 01:04:34,664 No one who was with me... 613 01:04:34,831 --> 01:04:39,836 ...has any solid memories of the days of the massacre. 614 01:04:40,003 --> 01:04:43,381 I only have this one vision. 615 01:04:43,548 --> 01:04:49,387 And Carmi, the only person in my vision, denies being there with me. 616 01:04:49,554 --> 01:04:52,140 - It's still real. - It's a vision. 617 01:04:52,307 --> 01:04:55,560 - But it's yours. Shall I explain? - Yes. 618 01:04:55,727 --> 01:05:01,274 What does the sea symbolize in dreams? Fear. Feelings. 619 01:05:01,441 --> 01:05:06,279 The massacre frightens you, makes you uneasy. You were close to it. 620 01:05:06,446 --> 01:05:08,323 That doesn't help me much. 621 01:05:08,490 --> 01:05:14,078 Your interest in the massacre developed long before it happened. 622 01:05:14,245 --> 01:05:17,415 Your interest in the massacre stems from another massacre. 623 01:05:17,582 --> 01:05:22,253 Your interest in those camps is actually about the other camps. 624 01:05:22,420 --> 01:05:24,297 - Were your parents in camps? - Yes. 625 01:05:24,464 --> 01:05:26,132 - Auschwitz? - Yes. 626 01:05:26,716 --> 01:05:31,721 So the massacre has been with you since you were 6. 627 01:05:31,888 --> 01:05:34,766 You lived through the massacre and those camps. 628 01:05:35,433 --> 01:05:40,480 Your only solution is to find out what really happened... 629 01:05:40,647 --> 01:05:44,150 ...in Sabra and Shatila. Seek out people. 630 01:05:44,317 --> 01:05:47,487 Find out what really happened, ask who was there. 631 01:05:47,654 --> 01:05:50,865 Get details and more details. That way.... 632 01:05:52,825 --> 01:05:57,121 Then maybe you can find out where you were exactly... 633 01:05:57,288 --> 01:05:59,582 ...and what role you played. 634 01:06:08,299 --> 01:06:13,805 On that day, we were sent to a certain post. 635 01:06:13,972 --> 01:06:17,058 It was actually on a hill. This hill... 636 01:06:18,434 --> 01:06:21,980 ...was opposite the western sector of the refugee camp. 637 01:06:22,355 --> 01:06:28,319 From where I was, I could see the settlement houses. 638 01:06:28,486 --> 01:06:31,197 There was occasional shooting. We tried to locate them... 639 01:06:31,364 --> 01:06:33,241 ...and retaliate. 640 01:06:38,121 --> 01:06:40,999 The Christian Phalangist forces began to arrive. 641 01:06:41,165 --> 01:06:44,669 In full kit, soldiers in Israeli uniforms... 642 01:06:44,836 --> 01:06:47,338 ...took position behind tanks. 643 01:06:48,631 --> 01:06:53,595 I was called for a briefing. It was in English. 644 01:06:53,761 --> 01:06:55,597 What was it about? 645 01:06:55,763 --> 01:06:58,266 They told us that the Christians... 646 01:06:58,433 --> 01:07:01,936 ...would enter the camp and we would give them cover. 647 01:07:02,562 --> 01:07:06,065 Once they had purged the camps... 648 01:07:06,232 --> 01:07:08,693 ...we would seize control. 649 01:07:08,860 --> 01:07:11,738 - Purged of what? - Palestinian terrorists. 650 01:08:02,789 --> 01:08:06,876 The next morning, they began to bring out civilians. 651 01:08:13,257 --> 01:08:18,680 The civilians were led out of the camps... 652 01:08:18,846 --> 01:08:22,975 ...in a long line. 653 01:08:23,142 --> 01:08:26,896 The Phalangists watched on, constantly shouting at them... 654 01:08:27,063 --> 01:08:29,649 ...and occasionally firing into the air. 655 01:08:30,733 --> 01:08:32,777 There were women, old people... 656 01:08:32,944 --> 01:08:38,282 ...and children walking in a line towards the stadium. 657 01:08:39,701 --> 01:08:46,124 From inside the tank, did you wonder where they were taking them? 658 01:08:46,290 --> 01:08:48,459 Did you think about it? 659 01:08:49,544 --> 01:08:52,046 Not really, because wherever we went... 660 01:08:52,213 --> 01:08:55,341 ...an announcement was made upon entering a camp. 661 01:08:55,508 --> 01:09:01,472 Civilians were ordered out. Those remaining were considered rebels. 662 01:09:01,639 --> 01:09:07,353 It seemed quite natural to say to the residents: 663 01:09:07,520 --> 01:09:10,773 "If you don't want to get hurt, then come out." 664 01:09:33,796 --> 01:09:39,218 On that day I drove to Docha, a city on the coast. 665 01:09:39,385 --> 01:09:43,848 It had an Israel Defense Forces landing field. 666 01:09:44,891 --> 01:09:45,933 On the way... 667 01:09:46,309 --> 01:09:49,854 ...many Phalangist half-track vehicles appeared. 668 01:09:50,021 --> 01:09:56,068 They shouted with joy as they headed towards the airfield. 669 01:09:56,235 --> 01:10:01,032 At the airfield, I met a colonel friend. 670 01:10:01,199 --> 01:10:04,202 He told me: 671 01:10:04,368 --> 01:10:07,705 "Have you heard what's happening in the refugee camps?" 672 01:10:07,872 --> 01:10:10,708 He had pointed to Sabra and Shatila. 673 01:10:10,875 --> 01:10:14,045 "What's happening?" I asked. 674 01:10:14,212 --> 01:10:19,884 "I didn't witness it myself, but they say there was a terrible massacre." 675 01:10:20,051 --> 01:10:27,099 Palestinians were slaughtered. I heard they put them on trucks. 676 01:10:27,266 --> 01:10:32,230 I was told that crucifixes were carved on their chests. 677 01:10:32,396 --> 01:10:37,443 There were wounded, some in critical condition. 678 01:10:37,819 --> 01:10:41,030 They were put on trucks and taken to an unknown destination. 679 01:10:50,456 --> 01:10:54,126 We saw a Phalangist soldier... 680 01:10:54,293 --> 01:10:57,255 ...taking an old man away. 681 01:10:59,757 --> 01:11:03,803 At some point, we heard shots. 682 01:11:03,970 --> 01:11:06,347 We heard shots. 683 01:11:06,848 --> 01:11:10,268 Then the soldier came out alone. 684 01:11:10,434 --> 01:11:14,564 We asked him what happened. 685 01:11:14,772 --> 01:11:21,529 We couldn't hear him, but his gestures meant "boom!" 686 01:11:21,696 --> 01:11:26,450 We understood that he'd told the man to kneel down before him. 687 01:11:26,617 --> 01:11:29,954 When he refused, he shot his knees. When he refused again... 688 01:11:30,121 --> 01:11:31,914 ...he shot him in the stomach and head. 689 01:11:35,668 --> 01:11:39,714 Didn't you ever realize... 690 01:11:39,881 --> 01:11:44,385 ...that trucks were going in empty and coming out full? 691 01:11:44,552 --> 01:11:49,640 Women and children were brought out and bulldozers went in? 692 01:11:49,807 --> 01:11:51,559 That maybe a massacre is taking place? 693 01:11:51,726 --> 01:11:56,272 Did you wonder why you didn't realize earlier? 694 01:11:57,398 --> 01:12:00,151 Yes, of course. 695 01:12:00,401 --> 01:12:06,699 I realized something was happening only when my men told me. 696 01:12:06,908 --> 01:12:09,160 From the top of their tanks... 697 01:12:09,327 --> 01:12:14,332 ...they started shouting, "They are shooting people!" 698 01:12:26,719 --> 01:12:31,641 They claim that people were lined up against the wall and shot. 699 01:12:31,849 --> 01:12:36,395 So I called my commanding officer. 700 01:12:36,562 --> 01:12:41,651 I told him what I heard was going on in the camps. 701 01:12:42,193 --> 01:12:46,948 He said, "We know about it. It's under control. We reported it." 702 01:12:47,114 --> 01:12:51,702 As far as I was concerned, the army was handling it. 703 01:12:51,869 --> 01:12:56,540 Where was the operations room, the headquarters? 704 01:12:56,707 --> 01:13:00,878 About 100 yards away. On top of a very tall building. 705 01:13:01,337 --> 01:13:05,466 - How tall? - Tall enough to see everything. 706 01:13:05,633 --> 01:13:09,428 They surely had a better view than I did. 707 01:13:34,370 --> 01:13:39,583 I didn't want to walk around at night, so I drove... 708 01:13:39,750 --> 01:13:43,379 ...to my place in Baabda. I had an apartment in Beirut. 709 01:13:43,546 --> 01:13:48,759 Micha Friedman was with me. We decided to make dinner. 710 01:13:48,926 --> 01:13:56,100 Micha invited the guys from the regiment of the 21 1th Brigade. 711 01:13:56,267 --> 01:14:00,980 During the meal, the regiment commander took me aside. 712 01:14:01,439 --> 01:14:04,442 He said, "Ron... 713 01:14:04,608 --> 01:14:10,531 ...my men say there's a massacre going on in the camps." 714 01:14:10,698 --> 01:14:14,452 He mentioned one or two incidents... 715 01:14:14,618 --> 01:14:17,163 ...saying a family was seen shot. 716 01:14:17,329 --> 01:14:21,042 I asked him again, "Did you see it yourself?" 717 01:14:21,208 --> 01:14:25,046 "I didn't," he said, "but my soldiers told me about it. 718 01:14:25,212 --> 01:14:31,218 The officers sitting here did too." We talked about it over dinner later. 719 01:14:31,719 --> 01:14:36,849 As soon as they left at 11:30 p.m... 720 01:14:37,058 --> 01:14:42,146 ...I knocked back a whiskey and phoned Defense Minister Arik Sharon. 721 01:14:43,064 --> 01:14:45,191 At his ranch. 722 01:14:45,357 --> 01:14:49,487 Arik was half asleep. 723 01:14:49,653 --> 01:14:55,910 I said, "I've heard there's a massacre going on, Arik. 724 01:14:56,077 --> 01:15:01,665 They are slaughtering Palestinians. We have to put a stop to it." 725 01:15:01,832 --> 01:15:06,003 He asked me, "Did you see it yourself?" 726 01:15:06,962 --> 01:15:13,469 "No", I said, "but there are several witnesses who saw it." 727 01:15:13,636 --> 01:15:15,679 "Okay," he said. 728 01:15:15,846 --> 01:15:19,517 "Thanks for bringing it to my attention." That was all. 729 01:15:19,683 --> 01:15:23,854 You'd normally say, "I'll check it out, I'll look into it." But no! 730 01:15:24,021 --> 01:15:29,944 He said, "Thanks for bringing it to my attention. Happy New Year." 731 01:15:30,111 --> 01:15:33,697 Well, something along those lines. Then back to sleep. 732 01:15:33,864 --> 01:15:36,951 It's amazing. A massacre took place... 733 01:15:37,118 --> 01:15:41,914 ...it was carried out by Christian Phalangists. 734 01:15:42,915 --> 01:15:48,045 All around were several circles of our soldiers. 735 01:15:48,796 --> 01:15:51,715 Every circle had some information. 736 01:15:51,882 --> 01:15:54,802 The first one had the most. However... 737 01:15:55,052 --> 01:15:57,972 ...the penny didn't drop. 738 01:15:58,139 --> 01:16:00,891 They didn't realize they were witnessing a genocide. 739 01:16:01,058 --> 01:16:02,810 What circle were you in? 740 01:16:02,977 --> 01:16:05,771 In the second or third. 741 01:16:05,938 --> 01:16:09,066 What did you do? 742 01:16:10,734 --> 01:16:14,613 We stood on a roof and saw the sky was lit up. 743 01:16:15,197 --> 01:16:18,993 - With what? - Flares. 744 01:16:19,160 --> 01:16:23,080 Flares that must have helped them do what they were doing. 745 01:16:29,587 --> 01:16:31,755 Did you fire the flares? 746 01:16:31,922 --> 01:16:33,465 Is that important? 747 01:16:33,632 --> 01:16:37,261 Does it make any difference if I fired them... 748 01:16:37,428 --> 01:16:41,599 ...or if I just saw the flares that helped people shoot others? 749 01:16:43,601 --> 01:16:47,605 In your state of mind at that time, it didn't really make a difference. 750 01:16:47,771 --> 01:16:51,859 You can't remember the massacre because in your opinion... 751 01:16:52,026 --> 01:16:56,739 ...the murderers and those around them are the same circle. 752 01:16:56,906 --> 01:17:00,034 You felt guilty at the age of 19. 753 01:17:00,201 --> 01:17:02,536 Unwillingly, you took on the role of the Nazi. 754 01:17:02,745 --> 01:17:07,416 You were there firing flares, but you didn't carry out the massacre. 755 01:17:22,806 --> 01:17:28,354 I woke up at 5 or 5:30, and I woke everyone up... 756 01:17:28,520 --> 01:17:30,981 ...the whole team. 757 01:17:31,148 --> 01:17:34,985 Then I drove to Sabra and Shatila. 758 01:17:35,736 --> 01:17:38,197 When I arrived there.... 759 01:17:38,364 --> 01:17:40,741 What a mess. 760 01:17:41,825 --> 01:17:47,331 You know that picture from the Warsaw ghetto? 761 01:17:47,539 --> 01:17:51,835 The one with the kid holding his hands in the air? 762 01:17:53,837 --> 01:17:56,507 That's just how the long line of women... 763 01:17:56,674 --> 01:18:00,177 ...old people and children looked. 764 01:18:00,344 --> 01:18:04,306 I thought about going to Brigadier Amos' headquarters... 765 01:18:04,473 --> 01:18:08,852 ...but as I was leaving, Amos suddenly turned up. 766 01:18:09,019 --> 01:18:11,105 He drove to the head of the convoy. 767 01:18:11,272 --> 01:18:15,859 His angry gestures forced them to stop. 768 01:18:16,026 --> 01:18:19,280 And that was the end of it. 769 01:18:19,780 --> 01:18:21,824 Stop the shooting. 770 01:18:21,991 --> 01:18:24,243 Stop the shooting immediately. 771 01:18:25,119 --> 01:18:28,122 It's an order. Stop the shooting... 772 01:18:28,455 --> 01:18:32,293 ...immediately. Everybody, go home. 773 01:18:32,459 --> 01:18:34,461 Go home, now. 774 01:18:49,059 --> 01:18:52,187 The Phalangists withdrew back up the street. 775 01:18:52,354 --> 01:18:57,234 The women and children returned to the camp. 776 01:18:57,401 --> 01:19:00,404 - The Palestinians? - Yes. 777 01:19:07,619 --> 01:19:12,291 I said to my men, "We're going in with them. 778 01:19:12,458 --> 01:19:14,251 With those women and children. 779 01:19:16,170 --> 01:19:19,923 We'll see what happened in there." 780 01:19:20,090 --> 01:19:23,552 Inside the camp, we saw a huge amount of rubble. 781 01:19:23,719 --> 01:19:25,512 My eye caught... 782 01:19:25,888 --> 01:19:28,223 ...a hand, a small hand. 783 01:19:28,390 --> 01:19:34,688 A child's hand stuck out from the rubble. 784 01:19:34,938 --> 01:19:40,152 I looked a bit closer and saw curls. 785 01:19:40,944 --> 01:19:46,784 A head of curls covered in dust. It was hard to make out. 786 01:19:46,950 --> 01:19:54,124 But it was a head, exposed up to the nose. 787 01:19:54,625 --> 01:19:56,627 A hand and a head. 788 01:19:56,794 --> 01:20:01,048 My own daughter was the same age as that little girl... 789 01:20:01,215 --> 01:20:05,552 ...and she had curly hair too. 790 01:20:09,640 --> 01:20:14,144 The Palestinians in refugee camps have houses with courtyards. 791 01:20:14,311 --> 01:20:17,481 These courtyards were full of bodies of women and children. 792 01:20:17,648 --> 01:20:20,776 The young men had been shot first. 793 01:20:21,276 --> 01:20:25,239 Then the rest of the family was dealt with. 794 01:20:25,989 --> 01:20:29,868 We entered one alley, a very narrow alley... 795 01:20:30,035 --> 01:20:33,038 ...the width of a man and a half. 796 01:20:33,664 --> 01:20:36,875 That alley was full.... 797 01:20:37,042 --> 01:20:42,423 Piled up to the height of a man's chest... 798 01:20:42,589 --> 01:20:45,175 ...with the bodies of young men. 799 01:20:45,342 --> 01:20:50,639 That's when I became aware of the results of the massacre.