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Downloaded from
YTS.MX

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Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.MX

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小伟

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小伟

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回来吃饭了

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好

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我马上回来

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再见

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小心点

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大慈大悲观世音菩萨

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保佑我们小伟平平安安快快长大

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吃饭了

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小伟

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你看

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坐

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今天啊是我们家小伟的生辰

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你猜娘亲给你准备了什么礼物

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不知道

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太漂亮了

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谢谢娘亲

21
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我有生日礼物啰

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还有一个菜

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娘亲去拿

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海啸来了

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海啸来了

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快跑啊

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小伟

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小伟

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救命啊

30
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走啊走啊

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救命啊

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海啸来了

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小伟

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小伟

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哇

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我回来了

37
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是不是很想我呢

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有危难找济公不用一分钟

39
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你们快躲到一边去吧

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谢谢圣僧

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你这三脚猫功夫

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给我乞嗤吧

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你明知道这个游乐场是我的

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你居然还敢来闹事

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你是不是吃了豹子胆啊鱼坑水怪

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余杭水怪

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鱼坑水怪就鱼坑水怪了

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是余杭水怪

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我收你这么多次

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难道我不记得呀

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鱼坑水怪就鱼坑水怪啦

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不是鱼坑不是鱼坑

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行了行了

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待一会我打完这场仗

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我就立个墓碑给你

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用最大的字写着你是余杭水怪

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这总行了吧

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给你跟村民立墓碑吧

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今天我要铲平这个村子

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你今天又为什么这么大杀气呀

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你看他们把我这条河弄得多脏

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每天拉屎撒尿倒垃圾

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为什么我要对他们这么好

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你说得倒也没错啊

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闻一闻这条河确实是

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哎呀

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比我的胳肢窝还臭

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喂

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虽然他们是做得确实是不对

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但是你也不可以这样啊

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用这么多的水去杀了他们

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这样很不环保的

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我不管

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反正我今天要大发脾气

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几年前已经用过这些招数了

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还有脸拿出来用

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你有没有一丝丝的创意啊

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好

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出招新的给你看

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我三年来修练的一招叫发脾八

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总之今天有我道济在此你就休得放肆

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哼

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哎呀

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你发脾八

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跑哪去了

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在上面了

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罗汉翻天印

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又是这一招

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你还不是一样没创意

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说我没创意

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对付你这种低级妖怪何必用新招呢

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更重要的是

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家庭观众喜欢嘛

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很多小朋友等着我出这一招的

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记住啊这个场子是我的

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不要再来闹事了

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道济

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你别太得意

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我今天是来

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替我老大试试你

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等我老大转世成功

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一统天下

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整个人间都是我们的了

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跟你们说过无数次

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要注重环保爱护大自然

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你们就是不听

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这次闯祸了吧

108
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我每天都忙着去普渡众生

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不是每次都来得及搭救你们的

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知不知道

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你说谎

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在说谎啊这个人

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我说什么谎了

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让我来揭穿他的真面目

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你说啊你说啊你说啊

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这位大师呢

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他不是忙着普渡众生啊

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他是

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睡着了啊

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你怎么知道啊你

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如果他能早点来这个村子的话呢

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也就不会搞成这样了

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是不是

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你看我们昨天刚晒好的衣服

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全湿了

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我才惨呢

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十三么自摸都快胡了

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现在你赔给我吗

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我喊救命嗓子都快哑了你都没有来

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你是不是该反省你的工作态度呀

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你们看看

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我的咸鱼都死了

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你赔我鱼啊

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你赔我啊

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你赔我鱼啊

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你枉我一家三口

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每年去灵隐寺烧香拜佛添香油

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收伏水怪这么小的事情你都做不好啊你

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对啊

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这点小事都做不好

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哎等等

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这位先生

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你是谁啊

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我啊

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你听清楚了啊

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在下是洪元教宗司马良

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刚好啊路过此地想宏扬我教

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结果遇上这种事情

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不过大家不用担心

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我们教派的宗旨

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是关心社区的大小事

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这次大家的损失呢

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我将会双倍赔给大家好不好

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好

155
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你这样不合规矩的

156
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这样的话他们怎么汲取教训呐

157
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说的是啊

158
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我们的道观呢有很多个房间

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每一间都座北朝南

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高床软枕

161
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不过吃得差一点

162
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八菜一汤

163
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但是饭后有水果啊

164
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怎么样

165
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好啊

166
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太好了

167
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怎么了

168
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你们怎么还傻站着

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00:10:07,667 --> 00:10:10,458
我们道观不用拎包都可以入住的

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还等什么

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快去吧

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好啊好啊

173
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那我呢

174
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我怎么办

175
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别走啊

176
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灵隐寺也挺好的

177
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别走啊

178
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真是的

179
00:10:23,500 --> 00:10:24,917
你们 圣僧

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多谢圣僧相救

181
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不要客气

182
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小弟弟你没事吧

183
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没事

184
00:10:31,125 --> 00:10:33,500
可是娘亲送给我的鼓烂了

185
00:10:33,583 --> 00:10:35,458
我们的家也没了

186
00:10:36,833 --> 00:10:37,542
圣僧啊

187
00:10:38,000 --> 00:10:39,125
你要是早一点来

188
00:10:39,375 --> 00:10:41,875
我跟小伟啊就不会无家可归了

189
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走

190
00:10:59,542 --> 00:11:00,828
那个司马良

191
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我拿一把扇子他也拿一把扇子

192
00:11:02,875 --> 00:11:04,042
肯定有问题啊

193
00:11:04,125 --> 00:11:05,125
哼

194
00:11:06,833 --> 00:11:08,125
来 香啊

195
00:11:08,958 --> 00:11:10,500
上好的香啊

196
00:11:12,250 --> 00:11:13,583
卖香啊

197
00:11:13,875 --> 00:11:14,958
来看看我的香

198
00:11:15,625 --> 00:11:16,167
好啦好啦

199
00:11:16,208 --> 00:11:17,042
进去拜吧

200
00:11:17,375 --> 00:11:19,078
来该你们了

201
00:11:19,083 --> 00:11:20,125
卖香啊

202
00:11:20,333 --> 00:11:22,167
求财求子一定灵

203
00:11:23,667 --> 00:11:24,792
来快快快

204
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行行行

205
00:11:27,750 --> 00:11:28,583
卖香啊

206
00:11:29,125 --> 00:11:30,292
来看我的香吧

207
00:11:35,542 --> 00:11:36,375
司马教宗

208
00:11:36,542 --> 00:11:37,708
小人是开赌坊的

209
00:11:37,833 --> 00:11:39,167
可是最近生意不好

210
00:11:39,250 --> 00:11:40,250
你能不能让大家

211
00:11:40,583 --> 00:11:41,667
多多来赌啊

212
00:11:46,125 --> 00:11:47,162
俗话说

213
00:11:47,167 --> 00:11:48,578
小赌可怡情

214
00:11:48,583 --> 00:11:49,495
大赌

215
00:11:49,500 --> 00:11:50,578
就修身养性嘛

216
00:11:50,583 --> 00:11:51,250
是

217
00:11:51,667 --> 00:11:53,625
像赌博这种有益身心的活动

218
00:11:53,667 --> 00:11:54,917
我一定会支持你的

219
00:11:55,125 --> 00:11:56,208
你放心吧

220
00:11:56,292 --> 00:11:57,458
他们会输得很惨的

221
00:11:57,583 --> 00:11:59,083
多谢教宗

222
00:12:10,208 --> 00:12:12,167
香火还挺鼎盛的

223
00:12:13,083 --> 00:12:14,167
我们灵隐寺啊

224
00:12:15,083 --> 00:12:16,708
真是差得太远了

225
00:12:26,792 --> 00:12:28,750
教宗到了

226
00:12:32,208 --> 00:12:35,828
大师

227
00:12:35,833 --> 00:12:36,578
求求你了

228
00:12:36,583 --> 00:12:37,542
帮帮我吧

229
00:12:37,708 --> 00:12:38,708
大师

230
00:12:39,417 --> 00:12:41,078
我的罂粟花啊都欠收了

231
00:12:41,083 --> 00:12:43,708
求大仙呐风调雨顺呐

232
00:12:45,250 --> 00:12:46,250
教宗大人

233
00:12:46,333 --> 00:12:47,958
我父亲都九十多岁了

234
00:12:48,083 --> 00:12:49,667
可是他还不死

235
00:12:49,958 --> 00:12:51,583
求教宗大人早日超渡他

236
00:12:51,625 --> 00:12:52,458
让我继承遗产

237
00:12:52,542 --> 00:12:53,458
继承遗产

238
00:12:54,042 --> 00:12:55,787
求风调雨顺呐大师

239
00:12:55,792 --> 00:12:56,917
好好好好

240
00:12:58,958 --> 00:13:00,042
大家听我说啊

241
00:13:00,792 --> 00:13:02,125
你们的心愿呢

242
00:13:02,458 --> 00:13:03,708
都是美好的

243
00:13:04,292 --> 00:13:06,958
只要大家诚心向大仙祈福

244
00:13:07,750 --> 00:13:10,917
大仙就一定会有求必应的

245
00:13:16,625 --> 00:13:19,000
这么过份的要求都有求必应

246
00:13:19,375 --> 00:13:21,042
分明是招摇撞骗呐

247
00:13:21,250 --> 00:13:23,667
洪元教万岁

248
00:13:33,792 --> 00:13:35,000
土地啊

249
00:13:35,208 --> 00:13:36,625
土地 我找你啊 快出来啊

250
00:13:39,042 --> 00:13:40,375
土地

251
00:13:42,292 --> 00:13:43,412
你是降龙

252
00:13:43,417 --> 00:13:44,120
是叩可

253
00:13:44,125 --> 00:13:45,370
怎么想起来要来找我

254
00:13:45,375 --> 00:13:47,167
干嘛把自己弄得这么神秘啊

255
00:13:49,083 --> 00:13:50,912
这些可是好东西

256
00:13:50,917 --> 00:13:51,787
吸一吸

257
00:13:51,792 --> 00:13:52,745
精神焕发

258
00:13:52,750 --> 00:13:53,495
闻一闻

259
00:13:53,500 --> 00:13:54,787
包不头痛

260
00:13:54,792 --> 00:13:55,745
星罗来的

261
00:13:55,750 --> 00:13:56,537
尝尝啊

262
00:13:56,542 --> 00:13:59,292
这些违规啊少碰为妙只会让你归西的

263
00:14:00,000 --> 00:14:00,953
这就乖了

264
00:14:00,958 --> 00:14:02,162
问你件事

265
00:14:02,167 --> 00:14:04,250
那座洪元寺呢到底是什么来历啊

266
00:14:04,375 --> 00:14:06,245
啊洪元寺就厉害了

267
00:14:06,250 --> 00:14:08,662
短短的三年之间开了三百多家

268
00:14:08,667 --> 00:14:10,203
红得不得了

269
00:14:10,208 --> 00:14:11,537
而且听说啊

270
00:14:11,542 --> 00:14:14,078
光是加盟费就要缴三十万两

271
00:14:14,083 --> 00:14:16,203
哇三十万两这么贵

272
00:14:16,208 --> 00:14:17,828
分明是骗人的地方

273
00:14:17,833 --> 00:14:20,000
那个司马良又是什么人呢

274
00:14:23,958 --> 00:14:24,625
喂

275
00:14:25,000 --> 00:14:26,370
赶快回答啊

276
00:14:26,375 --> 00:14:27,287
答什么

277
00:14:27,292 --> 00:14:28,458
司马良

278
00:14:28,833 --> 00:14:30,000
什么良

279
00:14:30,250 --> 00:14:31,458
当我没问过

280
00:14:31,792 --> 00:14:33,037
号外号外

281
00:14:33,042 --> 00:14:34,037
给我给我给我

282
00:14:34,042 --> 00:14:35,125
号外

283
00:14:36,458 --> 00:14:37,417
哇

284
00:14:37,500 --> 00:14:38,120
糟糕

285
00:14:38,125 --> 00:14:39,000
什么糟糕

286
00:14:39,333 --> 00:14:40,333
我不识字

287
00:14:40,667 --> 00:14:41,625
我来看

288
00:14:42,250 --> 00:14:43,625
皇帝驾崩

289
00:14:44,417 --> 00:14:45,662
不可能啊

290
00:14:45,667 --> 00:14:47,000
他的阳寿未尽

291
00:14:47,708 --> 00:14:49,578
又有号外

292
00:14:49,583 --> 00:14:51,078
给我给我给我

293
00:14:51,083 --> 00:14:52,708
你不识字你抢什么抢啊

294
00:14:52,958 --> 00:14:54,287
抢来给你看的嘛

295
00:14:54,292 --> 00:14:55,333
谢谢啊

296
00:14:56,917 --> 00:14:58,417
少帝又登基

297
00:14:58,917 --> 00:15:00,495
怎么时间都搞错了

298
00:15:00,500 --> 00:15:01,537
这不行

299
00:15:01,542 --> 00:15:02,537
我要取得真身

300
00:15:02,542 --> 00:15:04,078
上天庭查个究竟

301
00:15:04,083 --> 00:15:05,203
回头见

302
00:15:05,208 --> 00:15:06,250
有事 降龙

303
00:15:06,583 --> 00:15:07,495
等一下

304
00:15:07,500 --> 00:15:08,787
真身就一个

305
00:15:08,792 --> 00:15:10,120
用了就没了

306
00:15:10,125 --> 00:15:11,917
那你把你的真身借给我

307
00:15:13,042 --> 00:15:14,958
（泰文）

308
00:15:17,375 --> 00:15:19,708
（泰文）

309
00:15:20,458 --> 00:15:22,250
怎么突然之间说外语了

310
00:15:36,917 --> 00:15:38,042
喂

311
00:15:40,625 --> 00:15:41,958
醒一醒

312
00:15:44,333 --> 00:15:45,667
开饭了

313
00:15:45,875 --> 00:15:47,287
哪里

314
00:15:47,292 --> 00:15:48,120
等我一起

315
00:15:48,125 --> 00:15:49,292
好大一块叉烧

316
00:15:49,500 --> 00:15:51,328
降龙罗汉呐

317
00:15:51,333 --> 00:15:52,750
好久不见了

318
00:15:52,917 --> 00:15:54,037
好久没见了

319
00:15:54,042 --> 00:15:55,375
想死我啦

320
00:15:56,000 --> 00:15:56,828
你胆子真大

321
00:15:56,833 --> 00:15:57,958
居然敢偷懒

322
00:15:58,500 --> 00:15:59,787
这可不能怪我啊

323
00:15:59,792 --> 00:16:02,203
守这里守了一百多年都没人回来

324
00:16:02,208 --> 00:16:03,662
不睡觉要干嘛呢 对吧

325
00:16:03,667 --> 00:16:05,250
那你应该要感谢我

326
00:16:08,500 --> 00:16:10,333
这这这这什么啊

327
00:16:10,625 --> 00:16:11,287
对了

328
00:16:11,292 --> 00:16:12,245
忘记跟你介绍了

329
00:16:12,250 --> 00:16:14,583
这个是天庭最新的安检装置

330
00:16:14,708 --> 00:16:16,037
专门检查神仙回来的时候

331
00:16:16,042 --> 00:16:17,120
有没有带真身

332
00:16:17,125 --> 00:16:18,120
你反正是带了

333
00:16:18,125 --> 00:16:18,912
是啊

334
00:16:18,917 --> 00:16:20,625
但是它为什么还是一闪一闪的呢

335
00:16:21,042 --> 00:16:21,703
对啊

336
00:16:21,708 --> 00:16:22,912
因为不可以带液体的嘛

337
00:16:22,917 --> 00:16:23,578
液体

338
00:16:23,583 --> 00:16:24,667
液体有没有带

339
00:16:25,500 --> 00:16:26,667
这个

340
00:16:27,417 --> 00:16:28,245
好香好香

341
00:16:28,250 --> 00:16:29,203
一口一口一口

342
00:16:29,208 --> 00:16:30,458
喂喂喂喂

343
00:16:31,417 --> 00:16:32,412
喝光了

344
00:16:32,417 --> 00:16:33,328
是不是可以进去了

345
00:16:33,333 --> 00:16:34,662
一口也不给我留唉

346
00:16:34,667 --> 00:16:36,042
进去吧 早说嘛

347
00:16:36,833 --> 00:16:39,208
怎么这么有空回来找我聊天啊

348
00:16:39,458 --> 00:16:41,412
这个人间出了些问题

349
00:16:41,417 --> 00:16:43,870
所以我想你帮我忙去找玉帝

350
00:16:43,875 --> 00:16:46,495
我就去藏经阁查一下资料

351
00:16:46,500 --> 00:16:47,495
找玉帝

352
00:16:47,500 --> 00:16:48,203
是是是

353
00:16:48,208 --> 00:16:48,953
不行

354
00:16:48,958 --> 00:16:50,625
找玉帝倒不是问题

355
00:16:51,000 --> 00:16:52,453
但没有玉帝批准

356
00:16:52,458 --> 00:16:54,042
你不能进藏经阁的

357
00:16:54,708 --> 00:16:55,953
非常时期嘛

358
00:16:55,958 --> 00:16:58,208
当然要用非常手段啦

359
00:16:58,917 --> 00:17:00,292
怎么个非常法呢

360
00:17:00,375 --> 00:17:01,667
是这样

361
00:17:03,208 --> 00:17:04,995
我干嘛要跟你说啊

362
00:17:05,000 --> 00:17:06,162
真是八卦

363
00:17:06,167 --> 00:17:07,458
去找玉帝吧

364
00:17:07,875 --> 00:17:08,745
好好好

365
00:17:08,750 --> 00:17:09,708
好

366
00:17:10,417 --> 00:17:12,203
守门口那个禁卫出名黑着面

367
00:17:12,208 --> 00:17:13,703
你未必进得去的

368
00:17:13,708 --> 00:17:14,958
知道了

369
00:17:27,750 --> 00:17:29,792
真的是个黑着脸的

370
00:17:38,667 --> 00:17:39,792
好久不见兄弟

371
00:17:40,542 --> 00:17:41,292
降龙罗汉

372
00:17:41,583 --> 00:17:42,583
没有玉帝的手喻

373
00:17:42,708 --> 00:17:44,375
任何人禁止进入藏经阁

374
00:17:45,000 --> 00:17:47,703
我就进去撒泡尿不需要很长时间的

375
00:17:47,708 --> 00:17:48,708
让我进去

376
00:17:48,917 --> 00:17:50,125
不行

377
00:17:51,250 --> 00:17:51,995
哎呀

378
00:17:52,000 --> 00:17:52,620
这大哥啊

379
00:17:52,625 --> 00:17:53,620
这里就只有你跟我

380
00:17:53,625 --> 00:17:54,375
我不说你不说

381
00:17:54,500 --> 00:17:56,037
哪里会有人知道了

382
00:17:56,042 --> 00:17:57,542
通融一下嘛

383
00:18:04,500 --> 00:18:05,625
那边发生什么事

384
00:18:08,458 --> 00:18:09,583
你以为我傻呀

385
00:18:09,625 --> 00:18:11,120
你让我看那边

386
00:18:11,125 --> 00:18:12,625
你就可以把我打晕了嘛

387
00:18:12,917 --> 00:18:14,250
哈哈哈哈哈哈

388
00:18:15,833 --> 00:18:16,625
你

389
00:18:20,250 --> 00:18:22,583
你不看那边我不一样把你打晕

390
00:18:22,625 --> 00:18:23,542
傻瓜

391
00:18:24,458 --> 00:18:25,500
开门

392
00:18:29,708 --> 00:18:33,000
芝麻开门了

393
00:18:33,792 --> 00:18:35,750
幸好还是那个密码

394
00:18:42,208 --> 00:18:44,667
现在这个藏经阁怎么变成这个样子了

395
00:18:44,917 --> 00:18:46,625
经书跑哪去了

396
00:18:47,042 --> 00:18:50,000
为什么藏经阁变成这个样子了

397
00:18:52,333 --> 00:18:53,083
我

398
00:18:53,292 --> 00:18:55,417
我怎么查经书

399
00:19:03,000 --> 00:19:05,792
请写出你想查寻的关键字

400
00:19:05,875 --> 00:19:07,167
真的假的

401
00:19:07,292 --> 00:19:08,667
来试试看

402
00:19:20,958 --> 00:19:22,167
陈浩民

403
00:19:22,542 --> 00:19:24,333
以生孩子多而出名

404
00:19:25,042 --> 00:19:26,958
其女友 行了行了行了

405
00:19:28,042 --> 00:19:28,583
行了

406
00:19:29,792 --> 00:19:31,125
也就是个千人斩了

407
00:19:32,000 --> 00:19:33,583
真的说对了

408
00:19:33,833 --> 00:19:34,792
那我写了

409
00:19:38,000 --> 00:19:42,250
大鹏

410
00:19:45,333 --> 00:19:48,958
匹配的经卷有一万零二十卷

411
00:19:49,250 --> 00:19:50,250
一万多

412
00:19:50,292 --> 00:19:52,000
那得看多久

413
00:19:53,375 --> 00:19:55,083
写得再精确一点

414
00:19:58,917 --> 00:20:01,500
匹配的经卷有三十六卷

415
00:20:02,042 --> 00:20:03,125
这差不多这差不多了

416
00:20:03,167 --> 00:20:04,042
再精确一点

417
00:20:08,958 --> 00:20:11,167
匹配的经卷有一卷

418
00:20:11,917 --> 00:20:12,625
中了中了

419
00:20:14,375 --> 00:20:15,792
放在哪里呢

420
00:20:27,917 --> 00:20:29,875
要不要放那么高啊

421
00:20:45,708 --> 00:20:47,708
怎么弄呢这个

422
00:20:48,458 --> 00:20:51,417
请把水晶安插于基座之内

423
00:21:01,375 --> 00:21:02,125
大鹏鸟

424
00:21:02,458 --> 00:21:05,042
被降龙罗汉所收服

425
00:21:05,792 --> 00:21:08,292
但在阿鼻地狱里盗取红莲紫晶

426
00:21:09,667 --> 00:21:12,203
摄取人间贪嗔痴

427
00:21:12,208 --> 00:21:15,703
以建成通天魔塔直捣天庭

428
00:21:15,708 --> 00:21:17,375
造成凡间浩劫

429
00:21:17,583 --> 00:21:19,125
我一个人搞不定的

430
00:21:22,375 --> 00:21:23,875
看来问题真的很大

431
00:21:24,042 --> 00:21:24,792
你怎么知道

432
00:21:24,875 --> 00:21:26,083
我看你表情就知道了

433
00:21:27,208 --> 00:21:28,370
你找到玉帝了没有

434
00:21:28,375 --> 00:21:29,042
找到了

435
00:21:29,208 --> 00:21:30,417
那还不走

436
00:21:31,333 --> 00:21:32,875
门口在那边

437
00:21:33,250 --> 00:21:34,583
你早说嘛

438
00:21:37,542 --> 00:21:39,333
其实走那边也可以

439
00:21:40,375 --> 00:21:41,125
你耍我啊

440
00:21:44,542 --> 00:21:45,333
谁耍谁啊

441
00:21:45,458 --> 00:21:46,250
谁啊

442
00:21:52,417 --> 00:21:53,208
在那

443
00:21:55,708 --> 00:21:56,870
你说找到玉帝了

444
00:21:56,875 --> 00:21:58,125
玉帝呢

445
00:21:58,167 --> 00:21:59,792
玉帝不就在

446
00:22:00,292 --> 00:22:01,417
降龙拜见玉帝

447
00:22:01,625 --> 00:22:02,287
平身 平身

448
00:22:02,292 --> 00:22:02,870
谢玉帝

449
00:22:02,875 --> 00:22:04,203
玉帝多日不见

450
00:22:04,208 --> 00:22:05,292
不是 不是

451
00:22:05,542 --> 00:22:06,537
这个不是玉帝

452
00:22:06,542 --> 00:22:07,787
这个是王母娘娘给我的

453
00:22:07,792 --> 00:22:10,287
只要把这颗珠子丢在地上
玉帝就会出来了

454
00:22:10,292 --> 00:22:11,333
你不早说

455
00:22:11,542 --> 00:22:12,583
来不及说嘛

456
00:22:13,042 --> 00:22:14,375
我丢

457
00:22:17,042 --> 00:22:18,208
你还真爽

458
00:22:18,333 --> 00:22:20,458
只是看戏呀

459
00:22:20,500 --> 00:22:21,125
看戏

460
00:22:21,708 --> 00:22:22,542
这是什么啊

461
00:22:22,708 --> 00:22:24,042
平板电脑

462
00:22:24,208 --> 00:22:25,120
天宫的科技水准

463
00:22:25,125 --> 00:22:26,750
已经飞跃到几千年后了

464
00:22:26,833 --> 00:22:28,120
在这个平板电脑上

465
00:22:28,125 --> 00:22:30,750
可以看到爱奇艺的网大还有网剧

466
00:22:30,792 --> 00:22:32,912
你看这一部就是黑白迷宫

467
00:22:32,917 --> 00:22:33,537
好看啊

468
00:22:33,542 --> 00:22:34,667
好看吧

469
00:22:34,708 --> 00:22:35,703
还有啊二千年后

470
00:22:35,708 --> 00:22:37,578
有个家伙扮成你拍戏了

471
00:22:37,583 --> 00:22:38,792
你看

472
00:22:39,708 --> 00:22:40,745
长得好帅

473
00:22:40,750 --> 00:22:42,203
好帅好帅

474
00:22:42,208 --> 00:22:43,875
你们正经一点行不行啊

475
00:22:45,958 --> 00:22:46,583
玉帝

476
00:22:46,667 --> 00:22:48,703
这次我上来找你是有事相求啊

477
00:22:48,708 --> 00:22:50,083
因为那只大鹏鸟

478
00:22:50,167 --> 00:22:52,042
居然偷了阴间那个红莲紫晶

479
00:22:52,125 --> 00:22:53,417
并且转世为帝

480
00:22:53,625 --> 00:22:55,203
肯定是有重大的阴谋

481
00:22:55,208 --> 00:22:58,333
所以我希望你能够出兵下凡平大乱了

482
00:23:00,042 --> 00:23:01,833
那就要take it serious

483
00:23:02,000 --> 00:23:03,292
就位 好

484
00:23:03,333 --> 00:23:04,458
都过来

485
00:23:06,083 --> 00:23:08,333
看来这件事是挺麻烦的

486
00:23:08,542 --> 00:23:11,083
可能需要我御驾亲征

487
00:23:11,167 --> 00:23:12,708
伏妖降魔了

488
00:23:16,417 --> 00:23:18,167
不要闹了大哥

489
00:23:20,583 --> 00:23:21,708
问题是

490
00:23:23,875 --> 00:23:25,167
朕觉得

491
00:23:25,250 --> 00:23:28,250
如果朕去了怕宫女会很寂寞

492
00:23:28,375 --> 00:23:30,542
随便找几个小角色陪你去吧

493
00:23:30,875 --> 00:23:31,500
好

494
00:23:32,708 --> 00:23:34,000
请玉帝点兵

495
00:23:57,958 --> 00:23:59,125
参见玉帝

496
00:23:59,958 --> 00:24:00,792
二郎神

497
00:24:02,667 --> 00:24:03,917
你的哮天犬呢

498
00:24:05,750 --> 00:24:07,120
玉帝嫌它整天叫

499
00:24:07,125 --> 00:24:08,292
就把她收在这里

500
00:24:08,333 --> 00:24:09,417
要被关五百年啊

501
00:24:09,583 --> 00:24:10,917
你真是坏啊你 坏啊

502
00:24:10,958 --> 00:24:11,833
雷震

503
00:24:11,875 --> 00:24:13,625
子

504
00:24:14,667 --> 00:24:16,037
还是爱玩这招啊你

505
00:24:16,042 --> 00:24:16,750
没办法啊

506
00:24:16,792 --> 00:24:18,208
天生就力大无穷

507
00:24:19,542 --> 00:24:20,412
降龙 小哪咤

508
00:24:20,417 --> 00:24:22,417
你长这么大了你

509
00:24:24,625 --> 00:24:25,375
这什么

510
00:24:25,625 --> 00:24:28,500
这是2018最最最新的风火轮

511
00:24:29,083 --> 00:24:31,000
什么是2018啊

512
00:24:31,292 --> 00:24:34,417
2018就是几千年后的凡间啊

513
00:24:42,458 --> 00:24:43,375
好久不见

514
00:24:44,000 --> 00:24:45,458
365年了

515
00:24:45,500 --> 00:24:46,792
这么久了

516
00:24:47,292 --> 00:24:49,875
你也学人赶潮流看电影啊

517
00:24:50,208 --> 00:24:51,208
不是啊

518
00:24:51,292 --> 00:24:53,375
我在看凡间那些婚宴公司

519
00:24:53,667 --> 00:24:55,500
好漂亮啊

520
00:24:56,125 --> 00:24:56,875
你看看

521
00:24:56,917 --> 00:24:57,875
好漂亮

522
00:24:58,083 --> 00:24:59,287
凡人经常说呢

523
00:24:59,292 --> 00:25:01,125
只羡鸳鸯不羡仙

524
00:25:01,292 --> 00:25:03,375
好想下去试一次啊

525
00:25:03,417 --> 00:25:04,620
别讲那么大声

526
00:25:04,625 --> 00:25:06,417
我们很快就可以下凡了

527
00:25:06,458 --> 00:25:07,917
到时候我带你去试试看

528
00:25:14,583 --> 00:25:15,667
伏虎

529
00:25:16,000 --> 00:25:17,495
好兄弟

530
00:25:17,500 --> 00:25:18,625
好久不见了

531
00:25:19,500 --> 00:25:21,000
玉帝找了我们来帮忙

532
00:25:21,042 --> 00:25:22,078
一定是出了大事

533
00:25:22,083 --> 00:25:23,167
绝对是大事

534
00:25:23,208 --> 00:25:24,453
只不过有你在的话

535
00:25:24,458 --> 00:25:25,917
我就放心了

536
00:25:31,167 --> 00:25:32,583
好人到齐了

537
00:25:32,875 --> 00:25:34,875
你们就跟降龙下凡

538
00:25:34,958 --> 00:25:36,875
去搞定那个什么大鹏吧

539
00:25:37,042 --> 00:25:38,792
多谢玉帝

540
00:25:39,625 --> 00:25:40,875
干什么 干什么 干什么

541
00:25:41,833 --> 00:25:43,292
你们干什么呀你们

542
00:25:45,250 --> 00:25:45,833
玉帝

543
00:25:45,917 --> 00:25:47,042
就是他把我打晕

544
00:25:47,125 --> 00:25:48,333
强行闯入藏经阁

545
00:25:48,417 --> 00:25:49,042
兄弟啊

546
00:25:49,125 --> 00:25:50,708
把你打晕是我不对

547
00:25:50,750 --> 00:25:52,667
我请你吃顿饭当道歉啊怎么样

548
00:25:52,708 --> 00:25:54,120
不行

549
00:25:54,125 --> 00:25:55,333
天有天规

550
00:25:55,458 --> 00:25:56,292
你这样吧

551
00:25:56,333 --> 00:25:57,083
囚禁七日吧

552
00:25:57,708 --> 00:26:00,042
天上一日凡间三年呐

553
00:26:00,125 --> 00:26:01,828
七日不就是二十一年了

554
00:26:01,833 --> 00:26:03,417
会不会太长了玉帝

555
00:26:04,042 --> 00:26:05,250
有什么问题

556
00:26:05,833 --> 00:26:08,203
你不怕我把你做的事跟王母说啊

557
00:26:08,208 --> 00:26:11,083
立刻带他下去别让他留在这里

558
00:26:11,292 --> 00:26:12,750
真是冤枉啊

559
00:26:12,917 --> 00:26:14,037
冤枉

560
00:26:14,042 --> 00:26:14,917
各位凡间见

561
00:26:15,208 --> 00:26:17,208
冤枉

562
00:26:19,250 --> 00:26:20,167
好 出发

563
00:26:27,042 --> 00:26:27,917
回去看戏吧

564
00:26:28,042 --> 00:26:29,750
玉帝玉帝你等一下

565
00:26:30,708 --> 00:26:32,292
你刚才好像按错了

566
00:26:32,500 --> 00:26:33,667
我怎么会按错呢

567
00:26:33,958 --> 00:26:35,078
应该按绿色的那个

568
00:26:35,083 --> 00:26:36,125
我是按的绿色那个

569
00:26:36,292 --> 00:26:37,328
你刚才按了红色的那个

570
00:26:37,333 --> 00:26:38,417
不是我按的绿色

571
00:26:39,000 --> 00:26:40,750
不如我们看一下重播好不好

572
00:26:40,833 --> 00:26:41,792
你看口罗

573
00:26:52,458 --> 00:26:53,917
影片错了

574
00:26:54,000 --> 00:26:56,125
我是玉帝我怎么会错

575
00:26:57,458 --> 00:26:58,292
那

576
00:26:59,750 --> 00:27:01,000
你搞定这件事

577
00:27:01,833 --> 00:27:03,583
顺便消灭证据

578
00:27:04,208 --> 00:27:05,000
大事不妙

579
00:27:05,125 --> 00:27:06,417
大事不妙

580
00:27:06,917 --> 00:27:08,250
玉帝居然按错

581
00:27:08,750 --> 00:27:11,792
害得五仙失去记忆和仙气

582
00:27:12,083 --> 00:27:14,000
就算成功下了凡间

583
00:27:14,167 --> 00:27:16,917
也没办法阻挡大鹏鸟的阴谋

584
00:27:17,750 --> 00:27:19,583
济公如何才能阻止

585
00:27:19,625 --> 00:27:21,375
这场人间浩劫呢

586
00:27:22,292 --> 00:27:23,333
看下去

587
00:27:23,542 --> 00:27:25,875
自有分晓

588
00:27:26,000 --> 00:27:27,167
不要

589
00:27:28,083 --> 00:27:28,958
是我的

590
00:27:31,042 --> 00:27:32,292
给我

591
00:27:44,375 --> 00:27:46,708
二十年就这么过去了

592
00:27:47,042 --> 00:27:49,958
天庭始终都没派人来找我们赢烦

593
00:27:50,250 --> 00:27:52,250
这次真是天助我也

594
00:27:53,583 --> 00:27:54,917
只要这个紫晶

595
00:27:55,083 --> 00:27:58,458
继续吸取人间的贪嗔痴三昧毒火

596
00:27:58,708 --> 00:28:00,250
那我们冲上云霄的日子

597
00:28:00,292 --> 00:28:01,958
就指日可待了

598
00:28:08,500 --> 00:28:09,083
老大

599
00:28:09,417 --> 00:28:11,292
我都说了冲上云霄指日可待

600
00:28:11,583 --> 00:28:13,625
你稍微开心一下都不行吗

601
00:28:15,625 --> 00:28:16,458
司马

602
00:28:16,917 --> 00:28:18,167
你还不明白吗

603
00:28:20,125 --> 00:28:20,917
我不明白

604
00:28:21,250 --> 00:28:22,083
老大请解释

605
00:28:22,542 --> 00:28:24,292
我第一次演反派

606
00:28:24,875 --> 00:28:26,917
人家演反派都有美女

607
00:28:27,125 --> 00:28:28,208
你看看我这些

608
00:28:28,333 --> 00:28:30,125
你看我这些都是美女的妈啊

609
00:28:30,208 --> 00:28:32,292
你心里真的觉得我这么缺乏母爱吗

610
00:28:32,333 --> 00:28:33,250
你

611
00:28:34,042 --> 00:28:35,083
老大

612
00:28:35,583 --> 00:28:36,708
挑选过的

613
00:28:36,875 --> 00:28:38,083
我觉得还不错啊

614
00:28:38,250 --> 00:28:39,833
而且说实话

615
00:28:40,083 --> 00:28:42,542
漂亮的都已经被你吃掉了

616
00:28:44,667 --> 00:28:45,417
蛇妖

617
00:28:45,542 --> 00:28:46,328
蛇妖蛇妖

618
00:28:46,333 --> 00:28:46,870
快上来

619
00:28:46,875 --> 00:28:49,000
快过来过来过来过来过来

620
00:28:49,083 --> 00:28:51,667
来来来来

621
00:28:57,125 --> 00:28:58,750
这才叫肉嘛

622
00:29:00,167 --> 00:29:01,583
等一下老大

623
00:29:01,833 --> 00:29:02,833
我是妖

624
00:29:02,917 --> 00:29:04,458
你早就吸过我了

625
00:29:05,292 --> 00:29:06,833
再一次嘛

626
00:29:07,333 --> 00:29:08,250
不行

627
00:29:08,375 --> 00:29:09,708
再吸的话

628
00:29:09,833 --> 00:29:11,417
会功力全失的

629
00:29:16,500 --> 00:29:17,083
你走

630
00:29:17,333 --> 00:29:18,333
走啊

631
00:29:22,042 --> 00:29:23,000
老大

632
00:29:23,042 --> 00:29:24,833
今晚的精选晚餐

633
00:29:27,625 --> 00:29:28,750
这个不错

634
00:29:34,167 --> 00:29:35,333
大王不要吃我

635
00:29:35,500 --> 00:29:36,958
我还没发育呢

636
00:29:47,208 --> 00:29:47,833
放心

637
00:29:47,875 --> 00:29:48,750
我今天吃素

638
00:29:48,958 --> 00:29:49,708
不吃你了

639
00:29:50,208 --> 00:29:51,328
谢谢大王

640
00:29:51,333 --> 00:29:52,417
给你们吃

641
00:29:53,042 --> 00:29:55,042
谢谢老大

642
00:30:29,875 --> 00:30:30,917
这什么地方呀

643
00:30:37,833 --> 00:30:39,042
不可能吧

644
00:30:39,125 --> 00:30:40,000
灵隐寺

645
00:30:40,792 --> 00:30:42,917
家道中落啊

646
00:30:43,500 --> 00:30:45,333
我才没走多久

647
00:30:45,667 --> 00:30:48,000
这世界怎么会变成这样了

648
00:30:50,708 --> 00:30:53,292
这魔塔怎么长得这么快

649
00:30:54,875 --> 00:30:55,875
不行

650
00:30:55,917 --> 00:30:56,792
时间紧迫

651
00:30:57,125 --> 00:30:58,417
去找个人打探一下

652
00:31:09,042 --> 00:31:10,042
教宗大人

653
00:31:10,083 --> 00:31:11,417
给我们点吃的吧

654
00:31:11,583 --> 00:31:12,917
饿死了

655
00:31:17,000 --> 00:31:19,000
你看他们

656
00:31:22,667 --> 00:31:24,667
真有意思

657
00:31:34,542 --> 00:31:35,167
大人

658
00:31:35,417 --> 00:31:36,000
大人

659
00:31:36,125 --> 00:31:37,833
我好几天没吃东西了

660
00:31:37,917 --> 00:31:38,875
你给我点吃的

661
00:31:39,000 --> 00:31:40,750
我什么都愿意为你做

662
00:31:40,833 --> 00:31:41,917
求求大人

663
00:31:42,500 --> 00:31:43,292
公子

664
00:31:43,667 --> 00:31:44,958
你真的什么都愿意做

665
00:31:45,000 --> 00:31:45,792
我愿意

666
00:31:49,958 --> 00:31:51,750
那我带你去吃自助餐

667
00:31:52,250 --> 00:31:53,833
谢谢公子

668
00:31:54,083 --> 00:31:55,292
走

669
00:32:01,917 --> 00:32:02,792
太过份了

670
00:32:03,167 --> 00:32:05,250
怎么可以这么对老百姓呢

671
00:32:05,292 --> 00:32:06,167
停停停停

672
00:32:11,750 --> 00:32:12,875
我啊

673
00:32:12,958 --> 00:32:14,125
是你啊不好意思啊

674
00:32:14,208 --> 00:32:15,292
你怎么也下来了

675
00:32:15,792 --> 00:32:19,208
玉帝闯了祸就叫我这个手下下来补救咯

676
00:32:19,250 --> 00:32:20,037
你来得正好

677
00:32:20,042 --> 00:32:20,870
跟我进去消灭他

678
00:32:20,875 --> 00:32:21,495
等等等等

679
00:32:21,500 --> 00:32:22,250
等什么

680
00:32:22,292 --> 00:32:23,000
不可能了

681
00:32:23,083 --> 00:32:24,870
你二十一年没有来到凡间了

682
00:32:24,875 --> 00:32:26,417
整个世界都已经变了

683
00:32:26,458 --> 00:32:27,500
单凭你我之力

684
00:32:27,542 --> 00:32:28,917
斗不过他的

685
00:32:28,958 --> 00:32:30,875
这也对啊灵隐寺都没了

686
00:32:31,000 --> 00:32:31,792
惨啦

687
00:32:31,833 --> 00:32:32,792
所以唯今之计

688
00:32:32,917 --> 00:32:34,500
是尽快找到五位神仙的下落

689
00:32:34,583 --> 00:32:36,000
因为玉帝按错了

690
00:32:36,042 --> 00:32:37,953
他们五个失去了神仙的记忆

691
00:32:37,958 --> 00:32:39,833
样子都变了好惨啊

692
00:32:39,875 --> 00:32:41,125
那这样怎么找啊

693
00:32:41,542 --> 00:32:43,000
玉帝给了我五个锦囊

694
00:32:43,208 --> 00:32:45,500
分别是他们五位藏身的线索

695
00:32:45,875 --> 00:32:48,203
只不过这个玉帝还真是麻烦当有趣

696
00:32:48,208 --> 00:32:50,125
直接说他们在那里的话就行了嘛

697
00:32:50,208 --> 00:32:50,792
真无聊

698
00:32:50,833 --> 00:32:53,542
全世界的老板都不明白员工的苦况的

699
00:32:53,833 --> 00:32:55,042
这个说得对

700
00:32:56,542 --> 00:32:57,208
对了

701
00:32:57,500 --> 00:32:58,870
那我们先找哪位神仙呢

702
00:32:58,875 --> 00:33:00,208
二郎神 为什么

703
00:33:00,250 --> 00:33:01,125
他有天眼嘛

704
00:33:01,375 --> 00:33:02,078
找到他之后

705
00:33:02,083 --> 00:33:04,958
再用他的天眼去找其他的几位
那不就行了吗

706
00:33:06,208 --> 00:33:08,167
好厉害啊 你怎么这么聪明

707
00:33:08,208 --> 00:33:09,875
没办法 天生的

708
00:33:10,125 --> 00:33:11,375
走吧

709
00:33:21,083 --> 00:33:22,412
小心一点 我是神仙

710
00:33:22,417 --> 00:33:23,708
不怕

711
00:33:35,583 --> 00:33:36,917
连个鬼影子都没有

712
00:33:39,250 --> 00:33:40,458
没有啊

713
00:33:41,417 --> 00:33:42,453
真的假的

714
00:33:42,458 --> 00:33:44,042
你看啊 不对不对不对

715
00:33:46,125 --> 00:33:47,417
这样啊

716
00:33:48,917 --> 00:33:49,875
天呐

717
00:33:51,000 --> 00:33:52,375
这样啊

718
00:33:53,458 --> 00:33:54,167
我知道了

719
00:33:57,250 --> 00:33:58,875
你 这样啊

720
00:33:59,333 --> 00:34:02,833
一二 三 四 五

721
00:34:03,958 --> 00:34:04,833
你

722
00:34:10,292 --> 00:34:11,500
那该往哪儿走

723
00:34:13,000 --> 00:34:14,208
我身为一个神仙

724
00:34:14,458 --> 00:34:15,828
找个人都找不到

725
00:34:15,833 --> 00:34:16,620
太丢脸

726
00:34:16,625 --> 00:34:17,833
对啊 你千万别说出去啊

727
00:34:18,958 --> 00:34:20,167
找个人问问吧

728
00:34:20,750 --> 00:34:21,500
好

729
00:34:24,000 --> 00:34:25,792
有没有人呐

730
00:34:26,458 --> 00:34:27,375
老板

731
00:34:28,083 --> 00:34:29,250
喝杯茶也好

732
00:34:30,958 --> 00:34:31,958
老板呐

733
00:34:32,125 --> 00:34:33,292
来了

734
00:34:34,042 --> 00:34:34,667
老板

735
00:34:35,208 --> 00:34:36,000
来了

736
00:34:37,375 --> 00:34:38,417
也太难找了

737
00:34:38,458 --> 00:34:39,995
这什么鬼地方啊

738
00:34:40,000 --> 00:34:41,125
先喝杯茶吧

739
00:34:41,708 --> 00:34:43,625
谢谢老板

740
00:34:43,667 --> 00:34:44,375
师父

741
00:34:44,542 --> 00:34:45,458
阿弥陀佛

742
00:34:48,042 --> 00:34:50,417
那个地方也太难找了吧

743
00:34:52,958 --> 00:34:53,953
老板呐

744
00:34:53,958 --> 00:34:55,078
我想请问

745
00:34:55,083 --> 00:34:57,042
这里是不是赤城啊

746
00:34:57,750 --> 00:34:58,703
对

747
00:34:58,708 --> 00:35:00,208
这里是赤城啊

748
00:35:00,542 --> 00:35:01,995
那你有没有听过一座庙叫

749
00:35:02,000 --> 00:35:03,500
昭惠庙啊

750
00:35:04,875 --> 00:35:06,125
没有啊

751
00:35:07,000 --> 00:35:08,120
又没有

752
00:35:08,125 --> 00:35:10,708
你说说是不是写错了呢

753
00:35:11,083 --> 00:35:13,537
赤城昭惠英灵圣

754
00:35:13,542 --> 00:35:15,917
赤城的昭惠这么难找的

755
00:35:17,125 --> 00:35:17,953
师父啊

756
00:35:17,958 --> 00:35:19,375
你可能误会了

757
00:35:21,875 --> 00:35:23,495
这昭惠村

758
00:35:23,500 --> 00:35:24,792
有个赤城庙

759
00:35:26,792 --> 00:35:27,703
不过

760
00:35:27,708 --> 00:35:29,167
你们去那里做什么呀

761
00:35:29,292 --> 00:35:31,125
那里已经没有人了

762
00:35:31,792 --> 00:35:32,787
不要紧

763
00:35:32,792 --> 00:35:34,620
你告诉我在哪里就行了

764
00:35:34,625 --> 00:35:35,537
在这里在这里

765
00:35:35,542 --> 00:35:36,917
指一下 指一下

766
00:35:39,333 --> 00:35:40,292
师父啊

767
00:35:40,500 --> 00:35:41,995
这地图拿倒了

768
00:35:42,000 --> 00:35:43,167
倒了

769
00:35:43,417 --> 00:35:45,292
应该这样拿

770
00:35:47,875 --> 00:35:49,250
在这儿呢

771
00:35:49,625 --> 00:35:50,917
就是这儿

772
00:35:52,667 --> 00:35:56,333
这里不就是我昨天说去,你说不去的地方

773
00:35:59,750 --> 00:36:01,542
原来我是对的

774
00:36:02,417 --> 00:36:03,792
你对什么对呀

775
00:36:04,500 --> 00:36:06,787
地图我拿的是对的,是你说要去

776
00:36:06,792 --> 00:36:07,958
你错

777
00:36:08,167 --> 00:36:08,912
不是啊

778
00:36:08,917 --> 00:36:11,287
你错在没坚持

779
00:36:11,292 --> 00:36:11,953
不是

780
00:36:11,958 --> 00:36:12,495
你看

781
00:36:12,500 --> 00:36:13,370
大家去旅行

782
00:36:13,375 --> 00:36:14,870
好多闺蜜都变成仇人

783
00:36:14,875 --> 00:36:17,662
就是因为其中一方没坚持啊

784
00:36:17,667 --> 00:36:18,287
不是

785
00:36:18,292 --> 00:36:19,412
我的压力已经很大了

786
00:36:19,417 --> 00:36:20,787
又要降妖伏魔

787
00:36:20,792 --> 00:36:23,453
还要去想你的东南西北

788
00:36:23,458 --> 00:36:25,250
我不跟你做朋友了

789
00:36:30,542 --> 00:36:32,167
我是不是太过份了

790
00:36:34,833 --> 00:36:35,995
这甚么地方呀

791
00:36:36,000 --> 00:36:37,453
像个坟场一样

792
00:36:37,458 --> 00:36:39,958
连个鬼影子都没有,更何况是人

793
00:36:47,792 --> 00:36:48,537
我见鬼了

794
00:36:48,542 --> 00:36:49,287
真的有人啊

795
00:36:49,292 --> 00:36:50,037
是是是

796
00:36:50,042 --> 00:36:51,625
就是他

797
00:37:09,500 --> 00:37:10,828
他都病成这样

798
00:37:10,833 --> 00:37:11,870
又咳嗽又吐血

799
00:37:11,875 --> 00:37:13,245
会是二郎神君

800
00:37:13,250 --> 00:37:14,703
我百分之百肯定

801
00:37:14,708 --> 00:37:16,037
肯定就是他

802
00:37:16,042 --> 00:37:17,662
为甚么你会这么肯定呢

803
00:37:17,667 --> 00:37:18,787
因为这个村子

804
00:37:18,792 --> 00:37:19,870
只有他一个人嘛

805
00:37:19,875 --> 00:37:20,953
哦

806
00:37:20,958 --> 00:37:21,870
别哦了

807
00:37:21,875 --> 00:37:23,370
赶快拿锦囊出来看看

808
00:37:23,375 --> 00:37:24,833
对对对对

809
00:37:28,208 --> 00:37:30,250
打开神眼

810
00:37:31,375 --> 00:37:33,667
怎么打开神眼呐

811
00:37:34,000 --> 00:37:35,792
不是打开他的神眼

812
00:37:35,917 --> 00:37:38,417
是打到他开神眼呐

813
00:37:40,125 --> 00:37:41,208
去吧去吧

814
00:37:42,000 --> 00:37:43,583
又咳血啊

815
00:37:47,917 --> 00:37:49,542
两位师父欢迎欢迎啊

816
00:37:50,292 --> 00:37:51,245
师父

817
00:37:51,250 --> 00:37:52,667
欢迎欢迎欢迎

818
00:37:53,833 --> 00:37:56,167
我们这边有这个四书五经

819
00:37:56,792 --> 00:37:58,125
唐诗宋词

820
00:37:58,833 --> 00:37:59,958
有没有

821
00:38:03,750 --> 00:38:05,203
怎么拿我来挡

822
00:38:05,208 --> 00:38:06,703
赶紧打完去看大夫了

823
00:38:06,708 --> 00:38:08,453
不行啊，先搓颗泥药丸儿来预防一下

824
00:38:08,458 --> 00:38:09,412
哪来得及啊

825
00:38:09,417 --> 00:38:10,583
先闻个胳肢窝吧

826
00:38:11,208 --> 00:38:12,167
怎么

827
00:38:12,250 --> 00:38:13,417
好多了

828
00:38:20,500 --> 00:38:21,370
没事

829
00:38:21,375 --> 00:38:22,792
没事没事没事

830
00:38:23,458 --> 00:38:26,417
不知道两位师父来这边要学习什么呢

831
00:38:27,333 --> 00:38:29,500
我们是来打架的

832
00:38:32,917 --> 00:38:33,953
这个

833
00:38:33,958 --> 00:38:35,453
暴力是不好的

834
00:38:35,458 --> 00:38:37,167
况且我们读书

835
00:38:41,958 --> 00:38:42,703
不是

836
00:38:42,708 --> 00:38:43,412
我

837
00:38:43,417 --> 00:38:44,875
好像没什么反应

838
00:38:45,917 --> 00:38:48,120
你干嘛躲那么远啊

839
00:38:48,125 --> 00:38:50,037
谁知道会不会一巴掌把他打醒

840
00:38:50,042 --> 00:38:52,203
二郎神的武功又好又小器的嘛

841
00:38:52,208 --> 00:38:53,667
你不早说

842
00:38:53,917 --> 00:38:55,000
师父啊

843
00:38:55,542 --> 00:38:56,578
师父

844
00:38:56,583 --> 00:38:57,792
我跟你说

845
00:38:58,042 --> 00:39:00,125
真的不要打打杀杀

846
00:39:00,292 --> 00:39:01,703
外面现在那么乱

847
00:39:01,708 --> 00:39:04,208
读书人真的不喜欢打打杀杀

848
00:39:04,500 --> 00:39:06,078
现在外面世界这么不和平

849
00:39:06,083 --> 00:39:07,667
不要动粗啊

850
00:39:12,583 --> 00:39:13,828
你什么时候进来的

851
00:39:13,833 --> 00:39:15,537
我是有点疯，但我不傻

852
00:39:15,542 --> 00:39:16,583
也对啊

853
00:39:16,875 --> 00:39:17,912
两位师父啊

854
00:39:17,917 --> 00:39:19,328
听我说

855
00:39:19,333 --> 00:39:21,208
听我说啊好不好

856
00:39:21,458 --> 00:39:22,412
真的

857
00:39:22,417 --> 00:39:23,912
我告诉你们

858
00:39:23,917 --> 00:39:25,328
可能是打得不够用力

859
00:39:25,333 --> 00:39:27,120
倒不如狠狠地一次去解决

860
00:39:27,125 --> 00:39:30,120
暴力是解决不了问题的

861
00:39:30,125 --> 00:39:31,120
你来你来

862
00:39:31,125 --> 00:39:32,958
不好你先来你先来

863
00:39:33,125 --> 00:39:33,870
到了

864
00:39:33,875 --> 00:39:35,000
死就死吧

865
00:39:41,917 --> 00:39:43,167
你没事吧

866
00:39:44,292 --> 00:39:45,078
没事

867
00:39:45,083 --> 00:39:46,458
没事就好啦

868
00:39:48,125 --> 00:39:49,208
好可怜呐

869
00:39:49,292 --> 00:39:50,708
忍一忍很快就好

870
00:39:58,708 --> 00:40:00,037
他还挺重的呢

871
00:40:00,042 --> 00:40:01,912
累你就把他放下来嘛

872
00:40:01,917 --> 00:40:02,708
对啊

873
00:40:05,292 --> 00:40:08,750
现在投降，我就放过你们

874
00:40:09,500 --> 00:40:10,875
投降是吧

875
00:40:12,750 --> 00:40:14,708
放过我是吧

876
00:40:24,042 --> 00:40:26,083
我真的生气了

877
00:40:26,417 --> 00:40:28,042
我要还手了

878
00:40:34,000 --> 00:40:35,453
好厉害好厉害

879
00:40:35,458 --> 00:40:36,870
出手这么重啊

880
00:40:36,875 --> 00:40:37,620
不好意思

881
00:40:37,625 --> 00:40:38,620
我一时兴起

882
00:40:38,625 --> 00:40:40,208
出手重了一点点

883
00:40:40,333 --> 00:40:41,578
但是我刚才在想

884
00:40:41,583 --> 00:40:43,287
如果他真的不是二郎神

885
00:40:43,292 --> 00:40:44,370
那你就杀了人了

886
00:40:44,375 --> 00:40:45,620
这可不能怪我

887
00:40:45,625 --> 00:40:46,870
谁叫他没告诉我

888
00:40:46,875 --> 00:40:48,412
他不是二郎神了，对不对

889
00:40:48,417 --> 00:40:49,417
他活该

890
00:40:49,750 --> 00:40:51,162
你真的是活该啊你

891
00:40:51,167 --> 00:40:52,625
走了走了

892
00:41:11,458 --> 00:41:14,083
哗，真是二郎神呀

893
00:41:18,083 --> 00:41:19,625
还是这么壮啊你

894
00:41:20,000 --> 00:41:20,953
谢谢你们

895
00:41:20,958 --> 00:41:21,953
辛苦了

896
00:41:21,958 --> 00:41:23,292
不要客气

897
00:41:25,750 --> 00:41:27,167
其他几位仙呢

898
00:41:28,208 --> 00:41:29,537
就是还没有找到啊

899
00:41:29,542 --> 00:41:31,287
所以要拜托你用你的神眼

900
00:41:31,292 --> 00:41:33,125
去把他们一个个给找出来

901
00:41:33,750 --> 00:41:34,833
好

902
00:41:35,458 --> 00:41:36,287
来了来了来了

903
00:41:36,292 --> 00:41:37,162
看看看

904
00:41:37,167 --> 00:41:37,870
好

905
00:41:37,875 --> 00:41:38,703
这么快呀

906
00:41:38,708 --> 00:41:40,495
不是会有一个画面给大家一起看吗

907
00:41:40,500 --> 00:41:42,495
我看你的神眼还没有开啊关啊这样的吗

908
00:41:42,500 --> 00:41:43,537
对啊对啊

909
00:41:43,542 --> 00:41:45,375
我有天眼嘛

910
00:41:45,417 --> 00:41:46,453
我看得到

911
00:41:46,458 --> 00:41:47,453
那就好

912
00:41:47,458 --> 00:41:48,828
我跟你们说 在哪里

913
00:41:48,833 --> 00:41:51,125
现在东边二十里有一位 二十里

914
00:41:51,208 --> 00:41:53,125
西边二十里也有一位

915
00:41:53,208 --> 00:41:54,953
南边三十里也有一位

916
00:41:54,958 --> 00:41:55,870
我去西边

917
00:41:55,875 --> 00:41:57,995
我知道九天玄女一定是在西边的

918
00:41:58,000 --> 00:42:00,500
为什么九天玄女一定在西边呢

919
00:42:00,583 --> 00:42:01,750
因为九

920
00:42:02,167 --> 00:42:03,120
九

921
00:42:03,125 --> 00:42:03,787
西

922
00:42:03,792 --> 00:42:04,703
有些事情不用讲出来

923
00:42:04,708 --> 00:42:05,958
反正就这样别问了

924
00:42:06,458 --> 00:42:07,328
好吧

925
00:42:07,333 --> 00:42:09,083
好吧那就我南边

926
00:42:09,167 --> 00:42:09,995
你东边了

927
00:42:10,000 --> 00:42:10,912
好吧好吧

928
00:42:10,917 --> 00:42:11,870
出发出发

929
00:42:11,875 --> 00:42:12,828
怎么还有事呀

930
00:42:12,833 --> 00:42:13,875
两位两位

931
00:42:14,333 --> 00:42:16,708
我我觉得我的鼻子还有点痛

932
00:42:16,917 --> 00:42:18,292
刚是不是有人打我呀

933
00:42:18,750 --> 00:42:20,245
我帮你把他抓出来

934
00:42:20,250 --> 00:42:21,537
我去报官

935
00:42:21,542 --> 00:42:22,750
喂

936
00:42:33,875 --> 00:42:34,745
老大

937
00:42:34,750 --> 00:42:36,042
为什么停下来了

938
00:42:37,750 --> 00:42:38,833
没事

939
00:42:39,167 --> 00:42:40,333
我肚子有点饿了

940
00:42:41,375 --> 00:42:42,287
这简单了

941
00:42:42,292 --> 00:42:43,745
我马上就去帮你选女人

942
00:42:43,750 --> 00:42:45,245
选女人的事你相信我

943
00:42:45,250 --> 00:42:46,453
我选女人 不

944
00:42:46,458 --> 00:42:47,583
等等等等

945
00:42:47,917 --> 00:42:50,745
你你你选择女人的条件我太清楚了

946
00:42:50,750 --> 00:42:52,250
不要 千万不要

947
00:42:54,333 --> 00:42:55,542
但是呢

948
00:42:56,125 --> 00:42:57,417
我开始感觉到

949
00:42:58,042 --> 00:43:01,083
这个紫晶里面呐有仙气

950
00:43:01,958 --> 00:43:03,708
我猜是玉皇大帝啊

951
00:43:04,083 --> 00:43:05,787
那王八蛋他开始有动作了

952
00:43:05,792 --> 00:43:07,083
你去帮我查一查

953
00:43:07,833 --> 00:43:09,287
喏，老大你放心

954
00:43:09,292 --> 00:43:11,120
我带队出去一定没问题的

955
00:43:11,125 --> 00:43:12,120
我的个性你知道

956
00:43:12,125 --> 00:43:13,453
上刀山下油锅我

957
00:43:13,458 --> 00:43:15,042
唉，去呀

958
00:43:25,125 --> 00:43:26,500
六个

959
00:44:14,583 --> 00:44:16,125
你们根本不是我的对手

960
00:44:16,375 --> 00:44:17,917
快叫你们老大出来

961
00:44:19,583 --> 00:44:21,995
我敬重你单枪匹马来到我们谢利寨

962
00:44:22,000 --> 00:44:23,203
但是我们老大

963
00:44:23,208 --> 00:44:24,917
不是你想见就能见的

964
00:44:25,542 --> 00:44:26,542
唉

965
00:44:26,875 --> 00:44:28,125
拳脚不长眼

966
00:44:28,333 --> 00:44:29,912
没必要造成多余的死伤

967
00:44:29,917 --> 00:44:31,162
废话少说

968
00:44:31,167 --> 00:44:31,995
这里

969
00:44:32,000 --> 00:44:33,667
是拳头说话的地方

970
00:44:34,333 --> 00:44:35,750
给我杀

971
00:45:20,375 --> 00:45:21,958
你终于肯出来了

972
00:47:06,625 --> 00:47:07,870
醒醒吧

973
00:47:07,875 --> 00:47:09,037
你是神仙啊

974
00:47:09,042 --> 00:47:10,333
不要冥顽不灵

975
00:47:21,583 --> 00:47:22,833
起来

976
00:47:37,375 --> 00:47:38,708
再来啊

977
00:47:38,958 --> 00:47:41,167
有种打爆我的头

978
00:47:42,542 --> 00:47:45,417
难道要用他的锤才能把他打醒

979
00:48:16,292 --> 00:48:18,667
Yo,what's up man!

980
00:48:20,208 --> 00:48:21,162
欢迎归位

981
00:48:21,167 --> 00:48:22,287
喂 Thank you, brother.

982
00:48:22,292 --> 00:48:23,708
没事没事没事

983
00:48:25,875 --> 00:48:27,292
外面怎么倒下那么多个

984
00:48:27,625 --> 00:48:28,875
你又打人啦

985
00:48:30,500 --> 00:48:31,625
是你

986
00:48:31,792 --> 00:48:32,537
我

987
00:48:32,542 --> 00:48:33,458
你喝醉了

988
00:48:33,750 --> 00:48:36,417
不会吧 我又断片啦

989
00:48:36,958 --> 00:48:37,953
没事没事

990
00:48:37,958 --> 00:48:38,870
又不是第一次了

991
00:48:38,875 --> 00:48:40,167
走走走走 我还做了什么

992
00:48:40,292 --> 00:48:41,203
你就是喝醉了嘛

993
00:48:41,208 --> 00:48:42,120
走走走走

994
00:48:42,125 --> 00:48:44,333
没关系 不对啊看外面那些人

995
00:48:44,500 --> 00:48:45,917
不像是我出手的

996
00:48:50,375 --> 00:48:53,583
来啊 大爷来啊

997
00:48:57,000 --> 00:48:57,912
鸳鸯楼

998
00:48:57,917 --> 00:49:00,495
全城最漂亮的姑娘都集中在这里了

999
00:49:00,500 --> 00:49:02,495
我的九天玄女长得那么美

1000
00:49:02,500 --> 00:49:04,417
一定是在这里的

1001
00:49:06,125 --> 00:49:07,667
打开锦囊看看

1002
00:49:13,500 --> 00:49:15,375
蝴蝶

1003
00:49:21,292 --> 00:49:22,542
来抓我啊

1004
00:49:23,375 --> 00:49:24,328
这里啊

1005
00:49:24,333 --> 00:49:25,370
好讨厌

1006
00:49:25,375 --> 00:49:26,583
想吓死人吗

1007
00:49:26,667 --> 00:49:27,875
我来了

1008
00:49:40,250 --> 00:49:41,953
我们两个在天庭约会

1009
00:49:41,958 --> 00:49:43,667
会不会太明目张胆了

1010
00:49:44,167 --> 00:49:45,167
怕什么

1011
00:49:45,292 --> 00:49:47,453
我拿了几个蟠桃给守门口的

1012
00:49:47,458 --> 00:49:48,958
他会帮我们把风的

1013
00:49:49,125 --> 00:49:50,125
来吧

1014
00:49:52,417 --> 00:49:53,995
万一我们给抓到的话

1015
00:49:54,000 --> 00:49:55,412
就连神仙都没得做了

1016
00:49:55,417 --> 00:49:56,708
你说得对

1017
00:49:57,208 --> 00:49:58,458
你要记住啊

1018
00:49:58,667 --> 00:50:00,167
无论我变成什么样子

1019
00:50:00,292 --> 00:50:01,917
只要你看见这个胎记

1020
00:50:02,208 --> 00:50:03,833
那就是我了

1021
00:50:07,500 --> 00:50:08,750
你放心

1022
00:50:09,667 --> 00:50:11,500
我永远都不会忘记

1023
00:50:15,667 --> 00:50:17,125
这么主动

1024
00:50:18,500 --> 00:50:19,750
那我不客气了

1025
00:50:28,708 --> 00:50:29,708
九天玄女

1026
00:50:30,167 --> 00:50:31,125
我来了

1027
00:50:35,583 --> 00:50:36,912
你个这臭要饭的

1028
00:50:36,917 --> 00:50:38,287
这是你能进的店吗

1029
00:50:38,292 --> 00:50:39,542
赶紧走走走走走

1030
00:50:39,667 --> 00:50:41,958
狗眼看人低

1031
00:50:43,250 --> 00:50:44,292
来了

1032
00:50:45,000 --> 00:50:46,125
拿去花吧

1033
00:50:47,625 --> 00:50:50,625
这位公子一看就是一表人才

1034
00:50:50,750 --> 00:50:51,787
我们这里

1035
00:50:51,792 --> 00:50:53,458
什么姑娘都有

1036
00:50:53,542 --> 00:50:55,120
你跟我进去慢慢挑

1037
00:50:55,125 --> 00:50:56,162
等等

1038
00:50:56,167 --> 00:50:58,167
我是有要求的

1039
00:51:00,125 --> 00:51:01,250
有吗

1040
00:51:02,500 --> 00:51:03,787
有有有

1041
00:51:03,792 --> 00:51:05,917
来来来进来跟我慢慢挑

1042
00:51:06,875 --> 00:51:08,125
来来来

1043
00:51:21,750 --> 00:51:22,953
好酒好酒

1044
00:51:22,958 --> 00:51:24,083
别浪费

1045
00:51:30,792 --> 00:51:31,958
大爷

1046
00:51:32,833 --> 00:51:34,375
怎么 很着急了吧

1047
00:51:35,208 --> 00:51:37,162
姑娘都给你准备好了

1048
00:51:37,167 --> 00:51:38,203
走走走

1049
00:51:38,208 --> 00:51:39,787
走走走，我带你去

1050
00:51:39,792 --> 00:51:41,000
我自己走

1051
00:51:42,375 --> 00:51:43,625
快快快快

1052
00:51:51,208 --> 00:51:52,287
姑娘们

1053
00:51:52,292 --> 00:51:53,578
准备好了吗

1054
00:51:53,583 --> 00:51:54,833
来

1055
00:51:56,042 --> 00:51:57,958
公子

1056
00:52:03,042 --> 00:52:04,875
都不错吧

1057
00:52:07,750 --> 00:52:09,537
公子 我是鼠

1058
00:52:09,542 --> 00:52:10,912
下一个 我是牛

1059
00:52:10,917 --> 00:52:12,500
不是啊 我是虎

1060
00:52:12,667 --> 00:52:13,792
我是蛇

1061
00:52:14,042 --> 00:52:15,583
不是 我是猴

1062
00:52:15,750 --> 00:52:17,578
下一个 我是鸡

1063
00:52:17,583 --> 00:52:18,453
还有没有

1064
00:52:18,458 --> 00:52:19,745
我是狗狗 走走走走

1065
00:52:19,750 --> 00:52:21,167
我是猪猪

1066
00:52:23,042 --> 00:52:25,667
十二生肖

1067
00:52:29,000 --> 00:52:29,828
龟婆啊

1068
00:52:29,833 --> 00:52:31,495
我不是要禽兽畜生啊

1069
00:52:31,500 --> 00:52:33,620
十二生肖对我来说没用的

1070
00:52:33,625 --> 00:52:34,703
我要的是昆虫

1071
00:52:34,708 --> 00:52:36,167
蝴蝶啊

1072
00:52:37,708 --> 00:52:39,917
蝴蝶这个真没有

1073
00:52:41,083 --> 00:52:42,370
要不我弄一个

1074
00:52:42,375 --> 00:52:43,245
你看看

1075
00:52:43,250 --> 00:52:44,412
你看看嘛

1076
00:52:44,417 --> 00:52:46,417
这儿

1077
00:52:50,083 --> 00:52:51,828
你给我仔细想个清楚

1078
00:52:51,833 --> 00:52:53,120
她一定是在这里

1079
00:52:53,125 --> 00:52:54,287
有没有漏网之鱼

1080
00:52:54,292 --> 00:52:55,708
还有给我看到的

1081
00:52:57,083 --> 00:53:00,042
这位公子果然是有见识的人

1082
00:53:01,208 --> 00:53:02,625
还真有一个

1083
00:53:02,708 --> 00:53:04,287
走走走，我带你看看

1084
00:53:04,292 --> 00:53:05,292
走走走

1085
00:53:12,833 --> 00:53:14,083
在哪里

1086
00:53:14,750 --> 00:53:16,667
她她就就就在里面

1087
00:53:17,000 --> 00:53:17,995
那要不

1088
00:53:18,000 --> 00:53:19,250
你自己去看看

1089
00:53:19,833 --> 00:53:21,583
这个你慢慢享用啊

1090
00:53:21,667 --> 00:53:22,620
送你的送你的

1091
00:53:22,625 --> 00:53:23,453
什么什么

1092
00:53:23,458 --> 00:53:24,542
送你的送你的

1093
00:53:25,292 --> 00:53:26,750
搞什么

1094
00:53:49,042 --> 00:53:50,250
美女

1095
00:53:56,417 --> 00:53:57,370
女人长胡子

1096
00:53:57,375 --> 00:53:59,000
到底何方妖孽

1097
00:54:16,167 --> 00:54:19,125
天呐

1098
00:54:19,667 --> 00:54:22,292
我到底做错了什么

1099
00:54:22,667 --> 00:54:28,292
你这样对我啊

1100
00:54:29,208 --> 00:54:30,458
试试看

1101
00:54:32,458 --> 00:54:34,375
深情一吻

1102
00:54:36,625 --> 00:54:38,542
不要靠近我

1103
00:54:38,792 --> 00:54:40,042
试试看了

1104
00:54:40,250 --> 00:54:42,333
不要跟我讲话

1105
00:54:42,833 --> 00:54:43,958
不要

1106
00:54:53,667 --> 00:54:55,792
色即是空

1107
00:54:56,083 --> 00:54:57,917
空即是色

1108
00:54:59,417 --> 00:55:01,917
为了天下苍生

1109
00:55:03,167 --> 00:55:04,667
我道济

1110
00:55:06,375 --> 00:55:09,167
决定豁出去了

1111
00:56:15,042 --> 00:56:16,375
死就死了

1112
00:56:44,667 --> 00:56:46,000
降龙

1113
00:56:46,708 --> 00:56:48,417
欢迎归位

1114
00:56:48,917 --> 00:56:50,412
你怎么含得满嘴的肥皂泡啊

1115
00:56:50,417 --> 00:56:51,495
有吗

1116
00:56:51,500 --> 00:56:52,328
有耶

1117
00:56:52,333 --> 00:56:53,167
没事的

1118
00:56:53,708 --> 00:56:56,625
我们赶时间拯救世界啊

1119
00:57:01,250 --> 00:57:02,495
南边二十里

1120
00:57:02,500 --> 00:57:03,958
说到就到了

1121
00:57:08,917 --> 00:57:10,292
哪英

1122
00:57:11,083 --> 00:57:13,000
好像一位歌手的名字

1123
00:57:13,167 --> 00:57:14,917
如果是人名就容易找了

1124
00:57:30,125 --> 00:57:31,792
喂喂 两位

1125
00:57:32,458 --> 00:57:34,162
请问你们知不知道

1126
00:57:34,167 --> 00:57:35,875
这里有个叫哪英的人

1127
00:57:53,583 --> 00:57:54,412
大婶呀

1128
00:57:54,417 --> 00:57:55,875
请问你认不认识哪英啊

1129
00:58:02,333 --> 00:58:03,412
大哥

1130
00:58:03,417 --> 00:58:05,000
请问哪英住在哪里呀

1131
00:58:21,417 --> 00:58:23,583
大叔

1132
00:58:24,333 --> 00:58:25,333
老伯

1133
00:58:26,833 --> 00:58:28,042
哥哥

1134
00:58:28,917 --> 00:58:32,833
大婶啊大婶

1135
00:58:33,833 --> 00:58:35,083
都不理我

1136
00:58:38,542 --> 00:58:39,542
师父

1137
00:58:43,292 --> 00:58:44,667
两位 请问一下

1138
00:58:44,958 --> 00:58:47,375
这里有没有一位叫哪英的小孩子啊

1139
00:58:49,125 --> 00:58:51,125
哪英 没有

1140
00:58:51,542 --> 00:58:52,787
阿英倒有

1141
00:58:52,792 --> 00:58:53,875
正是犬子

1142
00:58:54,958 --> 00:58:57,203
正是得来全不费工夫啊

1143
00:58:57,208 --> 00:58:59,833
请问他今年是不是刚好二十一岁呢

1144
00:59:00,500 --> 00:59:01,708
是二十一岁

1145
00:59:01,833 --> 00:59:05,167
不过犬子长得跟常人有些区别啊

1146
00:59:05,708 --> 00:59:07,078
二十一岁就对了

1147
00:59:07,083 --> 00:59:08,995
我知道他一定跟别人不大一样

1148
00:59:09,000 --> 00:59:10,287
长得特别的矮小

1149
00:59:10,292 --> 00:59:11,703
而且又活泼又好动

1150
00:59:11,708 --> 00:59:13,417
还很会吃对不对呀

1151
00:59:16,958 --> 00:59:18,667
如果师父不介意的话

1152
00:59:19,458 --> 00:59:20,750
您亲自看一下

1153
00:59:20,875 --> 00:59:21,662
他就在那儿

1154
00:59:21,667 --> 00:59:22,667
是吗

1155
00:59:23,125 --> 00:59:24,875
那边好几个哪个是他

1156
00:59:25,875 --> 00:59:26,703
就那个

1157
00:59:26,708 --> 00:59:27,833
带铁链子的

1158
00:59:31,750 --> 00:59:33,495
你是不是误会了

1159
00:59:33,500 --> 00:59:34,953
我不是来找令尊的

1160
00:59:34,958 --> 00:59:36,875
我是来找你儿子的

1161
00:59:39,792 --> 00:59:41,250
师父有所不知

1162
00:59:41,583 --> 00:59:43,708
小犬得了早老症

1163
00:59:44,292 --> 00:59:45,792
只有二十一岁

1164
00:59:47,125 --> 00:59:49,167
看起来却像七十一岁

1165
00:59:50,083 --> 00:59:51,412
而且智商

1166
00:59:51,417 --> 00:59:52,875
就只有八岁

1167
00:59:54,125 --> 00:59:56,208
所以我用铁链子把他拴起来

1168
00:59:56,833 --> 01:00:00,833
要不然他就把家里面
所有的东西都给吃掉了

1169
01:00:02,208 --> 01:00:05,875
早 老 症

1170
01:00:25,333 --> 01:00:27,875
好好的一个天真活泼的哪咤

1171
01:00:28,042 --> 01:00:30,417
怎么现在头发比我还少呢

1172
01:00:32,417 --> 01:00:34,078
我要吃饭饭

1173
01:00:34,083 --> 01:00:35,703
饭饭饭饭

1174
01:00:35,708 --> 01:00:37,162
我要吃饭饭

1175
01:00:37,167 --> 01:00:38,328
饭饭饭饭

1176
01:00:38,333 --> 01:00:39,745
好好好好

1177
01:00:39,750 --> 01:00:41,745
我要吃饭饭饭饭

1178
01:00:41,750 --> 01:00:42,958
吃饭

1179
01:00:43,167 --> 01:00:44,245
饭饭饭

1180
01:00:44,250 --> 01:00:45,328
好了好了

1181
01:00:45,333 --> 01:00:46,245
不不不不哭了

1182
01:00:46,250 --> 01:00:47,458
我带你吃饭

1183
01:00:47,833 --> 01:00:49,958
饭饭饭饭

1184
01:00:50,875 --> 01:00:52,458
饭饭

1185
01:00:56,000 --> 01:00:57,792
你不要只顾着吃

1186
01:00:57,875 --> 01:00:58,953
你是个神仙

1187
01:00:58,958 --> 01:00:59,912
哪咤转世

1188
01:00:59,917 --> 01:01:01,792
你要下来拯救世界的

1189
01:01:02,083 --> 01:01:03,458
我要吃饭饭

1190
01:01:03,667 --> 01:01:04,870
甚么饭饭

1191
01:01:04,875 --> 01:01:06,703
你拯救地球你记不记得

1192
01:01:06,708 --> 01:01:08,078
饭饭饭饭

1193
01:01:08,083 --> 01:01:09,037
饭什么饭

1194
01:01:09,042 --> 01:01:10,328
吃了那么多还饭饭

1195
01:01:10,333 --> 01:01:13,792
没了 饭饭

1196
01:01:14,083 --> 01:01:17,917
好好好

1197
01:01:18,083 --> 01:01:19,578
我叫 我叫 我叫 我叫

1198
01:01:19,583 --> 01:01:20,708
好了吧

1199
01:01:27,750 --> 01:01:28,958
来来来

1200
01:01:29,292 --> 01:01:30,542
十五

1201
01:01:30,667 --> 01:01:31,537
十

1202
01:01:31,542 --> 01:01:32,495
十五

1203
01:01:32,500 --> 01:01:33,453
十

1204
01:01:33,458 --> 01:01:34,537
二十

1205
01:01:34,542 --> 01:01:36,787
大哥你又输了 喝酒吧

1206
01:01:36,792 --> 01:01:38,333
不愧是拳王

1207
01:01:39,208 --> 01:01:40,625
你们在玩什么

1208
01:01:40,750 --> 01:01:41,828
老伯

1209
01:01:41,833 --> 01:01:42,828
你想玩

1210
01:01:42,833 --> 01:01:44,203
那我教你

1211
01:01:44,208 --> 01:01:45,328
好啊好啊好啊

1212
01:01:45,333 --> 01:01:46,500
来来来，手拿出来

1213
01:01:47,583 --> 01:01:49,037
我叫中了

1214
01:01:49,042 --> 01:01:50,287
你放空

1215
01:01:50,292 --> 01:01:51,245
就输

1216
01:01:51,250 --> 01:01:52,203
好啊好啊好啊

1217
01:01:52,208 --> 01:01:53,500
来啊来啊来啊

1218
01:01:53,875 --> 01:01:55,000
十

1219
01:01:56,458 --> 01:01:58,078
老伯你输了

1220
01:01:58,083 --> 01:01:59,250
我输了

1221
01:01:59,833 --> 01:02:01,792
再来再来再来

1222
01:02:02,667 --> 01:02:03,833
五

1223
01:02:05,625 --> 01:02:06,453
我又输了

1224
01:02:06,458 --> 01:02:07,458
你又输了

1225
01:02:08,083 --> 01:02:09,078
我不依

1226
01:02:09,083 --> 01:02:10,162
我不依我不依

1227
01:02:10,167 --> 01:02:10,912
再来

1228
01:02:10,917 --> 01:02:12,375
再来再来再来啊

1229
01:02:13,042 --> 01:02:13,995
十五

1230
01:02:14,000 --> 01:02:14,667
十

1231
01:02:14,750 --> 01:02:16,370
再来再来再来啊

1232
01:02:16,375 --> 01:02:16,953
再来

1233
01:02:16,958 --> 01:02:17,870
十五

1234
01:02:17,875 --> 01:02:19,125
没有

1235
01:02:20,250 --> 01:02:21,162
十

1236
01:02:21,167 --> 01:02:22,083
没有

1237
01:02:22,625 --> 01:02:24,620
再来 再来 再来

1238
01:02:24,625 --> 01:02:25,495
二十

1239
01:02:25,500 --> 01:02:27,167
老伯你又输了

1240
01:02:27,208 --> 01:02:29,375
不会玩你就赶紧回家去吧

1241
01:02:34,417 --> 01:02:35,578
我不玩这个

1242
01:02:35,583 --> 01:02:36,745
我要玩别的

1243
01:02:36,750 --> 01:02:37,995
我要玩三十五

1244
01:02:38,000 --> 01:02:40,995
两个人加起来四只手哪有三十五啊

1245
01:02:41,000 --> 01:02:41,912
三十五

1246
01:02:41,917 --> 01:02:43,000
来啊

1247
01:02:49,500 --> 01:02:50,542
妖怪啊

1248
01:02:50,667 --> 01:02:51,958
妖怪啊

1249
01:03:04,292 --> 01:03:06,042
好啊好啊

1250
01:03:06,167 --> 01:03:08,078
天庭最会打的哪咤也回来了

1251
01:03:08,083 --> 01:03:09,875
拯救世界有希望了

1252
01:03:09,958 --> 01:03:11,083
不不不不

1253
01:03:11,417 --> 01:03:13,208
我是来这儿猜拳的

1254
01:03:13,833 --> 01:03:14,828
你是不是不记得了

1255
01:03:14,833 --> 01:03:16,037
玉帝派你来到凡间

1256
01:03:16,042 --> 01:03:17,078
是拯救世界的

1257
01:03:17,083 --> 01:03:18,500
不是猜拳的

1258
01:03:18,667 --> 01:03:19,703
不不不

1259
01:03:19,708 --> 01:03:21,537
拯救世界是拯救世界

1260
01:03:21,542 --> 01:03:22,703
猜拳是猜拳

1261
01:03:22,708 --> 01:03:24,833
我要先猜拳才能拯救世界啊

1262
01:03:25,500 --> 01:03:26,537
再不这样吧

1263
01:03:26,542 --> 01:03:27,620
你跟我猜拳

1264
01:03:27,625 --> 01:03:28,537
你赢我的话

1265
01:03:28,542 --> 01:03:29,625
我就去

1266
01:03:30,667 --> 01:03:32,292
现在的神仙都是疯子

1267
01:03:33,083 --> 01:03:34,078
喂

1268
01:03:34,083 --> 01:03:35,078
你别走啊

1269
01:03:35,083 --> 01:03:36,292
留下来跟我猜拳啊

1270
01:03:36,375 --> 01:03:37,542
喂

1271
01:03:38,292 --> 01:03:39,745
谁出来跟我猜拳啊

1272
01:03:39,750 --> 01:03:40,958
我要猜拳

1273
01:03:42,250 --> 01:03:47,833
我要猜拳

1274
01:03:54,792 --> 01:03:55,870
老大

1275
01:03:55,875 --> 01:03:57,870
经过我一番查探之后

1276
01:03:57,875 --> 01:04:00,667
发现济公癫和尚他真的想闹事

1277
01:04:00,833 --> 01:04:02,662
他现在已经找到九天玄女

1278
01:04:02,667 --> 01:04:04,250
二郎神还有哪咤

1279
01:04:06,625 --> 01:04:07,708
我知道啊

1280
01:04:08,292 --> 01:04:10,250
你知道还叫我去查探

1281
01:04:12,000 --> 01:04:14,375
我不是跟你说我第一次演反派吗

1282
01:04:14,667 --> 01:04:17,662
那老大叫手下去做事不为过吧

1283
01:04:17,667 --> 01:04:18,412
而且

1284
01:04:18,417 --> 01:04:19,245
你们也没事做啊

1285
01:04:19,250 --> 01:04:20,208
不是吗

1286
01:04:21,458 --> 01:04:22,458
有道理啊

1287
01:04:27,958 --> 01:04:29,042
老大

1288
01:04:29,375 --> 01:04:29,995
你下令

1289
01:04:30,000 --> 01:04:30,703
我带队

1290
01:04:30,708 --> 01:04:31,787
你放心

1291
01:04:31,792 --> 01:04:32,578
别别

1292
01:04:32,583 --> 01:04:33,958
不用不用不用不用

1293
01:04:34,500 --> 01:04:35,328
我跟你说

1294
01:04:35,333 --> 01:04:36,120
基本上呢

1295
01:04:36,125 --> 01:04:38,500
他们六个人是没办法聚在一起的

1296
01:04:38,708 --> 01:04:40,745
那他们六个没办法聚在一起的时候呢

1297
01:04:40,750 --> 01:04:42,078
就打不赢我们了

1298
01:04:42,083 --> 01:04:42,828
况且

1299
01:04:42,833 --> 01:04:45,375
他们还有一个永远都找不到的

1300
01:04:48,708 --> 01:04:49,578
喂

1301
01:04:49,583 --> 01:04:51,542
你们干嘛不笑啊

1302
01:05:04,208 --> 01:05:05,703
是不是记错地方啊

1303
01:05:05,708 --> 01:05:06,787
怎么到现在还不来

1304
01:05:06,792 --> 01:05:07,875
这里没错啊

1305
01:05:09,750 --> 01:05:11,000
到了

1306
01:05:12,708 --> 01:05:13,750
喂喂喂

1307
01:05:14,792 --> 01:05:16,375
还没找到伏虎啊

1308
01:05:16,708 --> 01:05:18,292
我怎么看怎么找

1309
01:05:18,750 --> 01:05:19,917
都没有看到他

1310
01:05:21,417 --> 01:05:23,500
兄弟你跑哪去了

1311
01:05:24,333 --> 01:05:25,245
算了

1312
01:05:25,250 --> 01:05:26,328
不要等他了

1313
01:05:26,333 --> 01:05:27,667
我们攻进去吧

1314
01:05:27,875 --> 01:05:29,083
等一下

1315
01:05:29,458 --> 01:05:30,703
这里有结界

1316
01:05:30,708 --> 01:05:31,875
大家要小心

1317
01:05:38,625 --> 01:05:39,958
不简单喏

1318
01:05:40,625 --> 01:05:41,453
没关系

1319
01:05:41,458 --> 01:05:42,708
我有音波功

1320
01:05:48,083 --> 01:05:49,620
要喊你先说一声

1321
01:05:49,625 --> 01:05:50,958
不是大声就有用的

1322
01:05:56,292 --> 01:05:57,037
这

1323
01:05:57,042 --> 01:05:58,833
是请君入瓮的意思吗

1324
01:05:58,958 --> 01:06:00,370
我觉得不是

1325
01:06:00,375 --> 01:06:02,333
很明显里面是一个陷阱

1326
01:06:02,417 --> 01:06:05,083
应该是叫你们几个走进去死的意思

1327
01:06:05,250 --> 01:06:06,578
为什么是你们

1328
01:06:06,583 --> 01:06:08,250
你不进去吗 对啊

1329
01:06:09,250 --> 01:06:09,995
我呢

1330
01:06:10,000 --> 01:06:11,750
只是一个低级的仙童

1331
01:06:11,833 --> 01:06:13,120
既低能又白痴

1332
01:06:13,125 --> 01:06:14,620
进去了也帮不上什么忙

1333
01:06:14,625 --> 01:06:15,912
只会拖累大家

1334
01:06:15,917 --> 01:06:17,120
我进去没用的

1335
01:06:17,125 --> 01:06:18,250
要不然这样吧

1336
01:06:20,167 --> 01:06:21,537
你们有什么遗言就说

1337
01:06:21,542 --> 01:06:22,708
我帮忙写下来

1338
01:06:22,875 --> 01:06:23,745
你这乌鸦嘴

1339
01:06:23,750 --> 01:06:24,912
就是说我们死定了

1340
01:06:24,917 --> 01:06:26,328
你这乌鸦嘴就是说我们死定了

1341
01:06:26,333 --> 01:06:27,328
你还写

1342
01:06:27,333 --> 01:06:28,458
你真是欠揍

1343
01:06:31,417 --> 01:06:32,453
有道是

1344
01:06:32,458 --> 01:06:33,578
我不入地狱

1345
01:06:33,583 --> 01:06:34,870
谁入地狱

1346
01:06:34,875 --> 01:06:35,703
况且

1347
01:06:35,708 --> 01:06:37,495
我们是天兵神将

1348
01:06:37,500 --> 01:06:40,833
降妖伏魔本来就是我们应尽的责任

1349
01:06:41,917 --> 01:06:42,995
你说得很对

1350
01:06:43,000 --> 01:06:43,828
那

1351
01:06:43,833 --> 01:06:45,875
有请二郎真君先入地狱吧

1352
01:06:47,208 --> 01:06:48,208
好

1353
01:06:49,083 --> 01:06:50,083
但是

1354
01:06:50,542 --> 01:06:51,870
降龙罗汉

1355
01:06:51,875 --> 01:06:53,287
是十八罗汉之首

1356
01:06:53,292 --> 01:06:54,703
他做老大的

1357
01:06:54,708 --> 01:06:56,167
应该是老大先请吧

1358
01:06:56,750 --> 01:06:59,625
其实早在十三年前我已经说要冲进去了

1359
01:06:59,708 --> 01:07:00,495
不用怕

1360
01:07:00,500 --> 01:07:01,583
有事我会保护你

1361
01:07:02,500 --> 01:07:03,745
你你怎么抖成这个样子

1362
01:07:03,750 --> 01:07:04,917
你很怕吗

1363
01:07:05,792 --> 01:07:06,870
我不怕

1364
01:07:06,875 --> 01:07:07,953
好像是你在发抖

1365
01:07:07,958 --> 01:07:08,828
我哪有发抖

1366
01:07:08,833 --> 01:07:09,750
我有抖吗

1367
01:07:10,333 --> 01:07:12,292
他他抖得很厉害吧

1368
01:07:12,333 --> 01:07:13,375
你说呢

1369
01:07:14,917 --> 01:07:15,912
放心啊

1370
01:07:15,917 --> 01:07:16,745
明年的今天

1371
01:07:16,750 --> 01:07:17,995
我会烧香给各位的

1372
01:07:18,000 --> 01:07:19,125
放心啊

1373
01:07:23,042 --> 01:07:24,167
别管他了

1374
01:07:24,333 --> 01:07:25,625
我们攻进去吧

1375
01:07:27,417 --> 01:07:28,667
死就死吧

1376
01:07:36,375 --> 01:07:37,870
一班英雄

1377
01:07:37,875 --> 01:07:39,583
简直令人敬佩

1378
01:07:41,500 --> 01:07:42,833
先去找点东西吃

1379
01:07:58,167 --> 01:07:59,708
身体虚

1380
01:08:00,375 --> 01:08:01,750
头晕晕

1381
01:08:01,875 --> 01:08:02,787
浑身都不爽

1382
01:08:02,792 --> 01:08:03,958
好难受

1383
01:08:10,208 --> 01:08:11,578
乌云盖顶

1384
01:08:11,583 --> 01:08:12,828
地如黑土

1385
01:08:12,833 --> 01:08:14,328
妖塔就是妖塔

1386
01:08:14,333 --> 01:08:16,333
难怪我觉得浑身都不舒服

1387
01:08:16,792 --> 01:08:18,203
我也觉得是呀

1388
01:08:18,208 --> 01:08:19,453
但是哪里不对劲呢

1389
01:08:19,458 --> 01:08:21,333
我也说不出原因

1390
01:08:22,042 --> 01:08:24,245
难道真的被死胖仙童子说中

1391
01:08:24,250 --> 01:08:26,292
我们凶多吉少

1392
01:08:26,542 --> 01:08:27,833
不会吧

1393
01:08:41,125 --> 01:08:41,995
让我来

1394
01:08:42,000 --> 01:08:42,995
慢半拍啊

1395
01:08:43,000 --> 01:08:44,042
欣赏吧

1396
01:08:49,875 --> 01:08:50,537
喂

1397
01:08:50,542 --> 01:08:51,245
别打

1398
01:08:51,250 --> 01:08:52,287
留两个给我

1399
01:08:52,292 --> 01:08:52,953
喂

1400
01:08:52,958 --> 01:08:54,292
这次你怎么不冲出去

1401
01:08:54,542 --> 01:08:56,125
要让年轻人发挥一下嘛

1402
01:08:56,292 --> 01:08:57,287
也有道理

1403
01:08:57,292 --> 01:08:58,250
当然

1404
01:09:36,708 --> 01:09:37,870
司马你看

1405
01:09:37,875 --> 01:09:39,875
原来真的有人会自己送死

1406
01:09:40,292 --> 01:09:41,828
这么多年了

1407
01:09:41,833 --> 01:09:44,167
你衣服怎么还是这么破

1408
01:09:44,208 --> 01:09:45,828
你们没有钱买新衣服吗

1409
01:09:45,833 --> 01:09:47,333
真可怜啊

1410
01:09:48,958 --> 01:09:50,120
对了

1411
01:09:50,125 --> 01:09:52,620
我其实呢，不得不佩服你们这一帮

1412
01:09:52,625 --> 01:09:55,745
所谓的这个正义联盟的神仙，是吧

1413
01:09:55,750 --> 01:09:57,578
明知道进来这里一定会死

1414
01:09:57,583 --> 01:09:59,245
你们还是毫不犹豫的进来了

1415
01:09:59,250 --> 01:10:00,917
掌声鼓励

1416
01:10:03,083 --> 01:10:04,203
大鹏鸟

1417
01:10:04,208 --> 01:10:05,287
我们五仙呢

1418
01:10:05,292 --> 01:10:07,328
是代表玉帝来消灭你的

1419
01:10:07,333 --> 01:10:08,537
不过如果你聪明

1420
01:10:08,542 --> 01:10:10,120
跟我回天庭的话

1421
01:10:10,125 --> 01:10:11,078
我保证

1422
01:10:11,083 --> 01:10:12,917
帮你跟玉帝求情

1423
01:10:16,292 --> 01:10:18,542
感动

1424
01:10:19,500 --> 01:10:20,745
但是我跟你说啊

1425
01:10:20,750 --> 01:10:22,953
我跟你介绍一下
你看到后面这个塔了没有

1426
01:10:22,958 --> 01:10:23,870
看到这个塔了

1427
01:10:23,875 --> 01:10:24,662
到时候呢

1428
01:10:24,667 --> 01:10:26,245
我就会坐在塔的顶端

1429
01:10:26,250 --> 01:10:27,375
然后呢

1430
01:10:28,500 --> 01:10:29,870
直上天庭

1431
01:10:29,875 --> 01:10:32,245
然后我直接坐在玉帝皇大帝的位子上

1432
01:10:32,250 --> 01:10:34,833
到时候我帮你求情就好了，好不好

1433
01:10:36,375 --> 01:10:37,245
还有还有还有

1434
01:10:37,250 --> 01:10:37,912
你们这

1435
01:10:37,917 --> 01:10:40,417
一二 三 四 五

1436
01:10:40,833 --> 01:10:41,953
五个虾兵蟹将

1437
01:10:41,958 --> 01:10:43,792
你觉得你打得赢我们吗

1438
01:10:44,083 --> 01:10:45,870
什么虾兵蟹将啊

1439
01:10:45,875 --> 01:10:48,292
你们一个个的才是我的手下败将啊

1440
01:10:48,417 --> 01:10:49,328
降龙罗汉

1441
01:10:49,333 --> 01:10:51,162
何必跟他多费唇舌

1442
01:10:51,167 --> 01:10:51,953
出手吧

1443
01:10:51,958 --> 01:10:52,870
让我来

1444
01:10:52,875 --> 01:10:54,292
你又慢半拍

1445
01:11:02,875 --> 01:11:04,167
喂 你怎么样

1446
01:11:05,125 --> 01:11:06,745
使不出法力了

1447
01:11:06,750 --> 01:11:07,995
你们坐在这里吃东西

1448
01:11:08,000 --> 01:11:09,037
我打好不好

1449
01:11:09,042 --> 01:11:10,287
好啊

1450
01:11:10,292 --> 01:11:11,417
好你个头

1451
01:11:11,542 --> 01:11:12,708
打啊

1452
01:11:20,750 --> 01:11:21,875
怎么没电呀

1453
01:11:25,417 --> 01:11:26,292
谢谢啦

1454
01:12:24,292 --> 01:12:25,078
喂

1455
01:12:25,083 --> 01:12:26,287
死八婆

1456
01:12:26,292 --> 01:12:28,625
大家都是女人，你不用这么恶毒吧

1457
01:12:28,833 --> 01:12:30,787
一直对着我的脸，咬来咬去的

1458
01:12:30,792 --> 01:12:32,078
咬到留疤怎么办

1459
01:12:32,083 --> 01:12:34,328
我就是要咬得你满脸疤

1460
01:12:34,333 --> 01:12:35,995
这样天下最美的仙女

1461
01:12:36,000 --> 01:12:37,125
就是我了

1462
01:12:38,208 --> 01:12:39,328
你美啊

1463
01:12:39,333 --> 01:12:41,333
美若天仙可是天生的

1464
01:12:41,542 --> 01:12:44,375
就算你现在把我的脸咬得八百块疤

1465
01:12:47,542 --> 01:12:49,042
还是我美一点

1466
01:12:49,333 --> 01:12:50,870
但是你看看你自己

1467
01:12:50,875 --> 01:12:52,537
额头的蛇纹

1468
01:12:52,542 --> 01:12:53,703
喂

1469
01:12:53,708 --> 01:12:55,583
你能不能不要讲这个啊

1470
01:12:55,958 --> 01:12:57,870
喂，这怎么能怪我

1471
01:12:57,875 --> 01:12:59,833
你自己又不做磨砂

1472
01:13:00,458 --> 01:13:01,917
什么磨砂

1473
01:13:04,792 --> 01:13:07,083
你干嘛你干嘛你

1474
01:13:07,458 --> 01:13:09,662
就是呢用蜜糖加白糖

1475
01:13:09,667 --> 01:13:10,787
再加珍珠粉

1476
01:13:10,792 --> 01:13:12,958
可以磨走你的蛇纹那种

1477
01:13:13,625 --> 01:13:14,828
那在哪里买

1478
01:13:14,833 --> 01:13:15,953
哪消去买啊

1479
01:13:15,958 --> 01:13:17,083
我教你做

1480
01:13:17,417 --> 01:13:18,417
好好好

1481
01:13:53,833 --> 01:13:55,125
你跟我玩

1482
01:13:55,333 --> 01:13:56,750
你找死

1483
01:13:58,417 --> 01:13:59,328
你跟我玩

1484
01:13:59,333 --> 01:14:00,833
找死啊你

1485
01:14:08,500 --> 01:14:10,620
我要跟你单挑

1486
01:14:10,625 --> 01:14:11,870
我告诉过你嘛

1487
01:14:11,875 --> 01:14:13,328
你进来我这个结界呢

1488
01:14:13,333 --> 01:14:14,120
你死定了

1489
01:14:14,125 --> 01:14:14,912
为什么

1490
01:14:14,917 --> 01:14:16,458
因为你用不出法力啊

1491
01:14:17,083 --> 01:14:18,375
法力没有了

1492
01:14:22,208 --> 01:14:23,287
可恶

1493
01:14:23,292 --> 01:14:24,792
我不信

1494
01:14:28,583 --> 01:14:29,328
就你会啊

1495
01:14:29,333 --> 01:14:29,953
我也会啊

1496
01:14:29,958 --> 01:14:30,833
你看看

1497
01:14:58,125 --> 01:15:00,083
变大变大变大变大

1498
01:15:38,083 --> 01:15:39,417
等等 等等等等

1499
01:15:39,792 --> 01:15:41,250
等等等等

1500
01:15:42,333 --> 01:15:43,375
怎么了

1501
01:15:43,625 --> 01:15:45,000
我觉得不公平

1502
01:15:47,625 --> 01:15:48,953
结界里边

1503
01:15:48,958 --> 01:15:50,453
你有法力

1504
01:15:50,458 --> 01:15:51,542
我没有法力

1505
01:15:51,792 --> 01:15:53,167
这样你打赢我

1506
01:15:53,417 --> 01:15:54,875
够光彩吗

1507
01:15:55,708 --> 01:15:57,375
你说得有道理

1508
01:15:58,083 --> 01:15:59,120
行

1509
01:15:59,125 --> 01:16:00,412
我今天不用法力

1510
01:16:00,417 --> 01:16:01,870
让你输得心服口服

1511
01:16:01,875 --> 01:16:02,833
怎么样

1512
01:16:03,625 --> 01:16:04,667
好

1513
01:16:05,125 --> 01:16:06,333
在妖精中

1514
01:16:07,208 --> 01:16:08,370
你够君子

1515
01:16:08,375 --> 01:16:09,453
那是

1516
01:16:09,458 --> 01:16:10,417
来

1517
01:16:10,875 --> 01:16:12,042
我们今天

1518
01:16:12,208 --> 01:16:13,292
就来个

1519
01:16:16,083 --> 01:16:17,750
跟我玩阴的

1520
01:16:32,333 --> 01:16:33,287
怎么样

1521
01:16:33,292 --> 01:16:34,328
够君子

1522
01:16:34,333 --> 01:16:35,458
公平吗

1523
01:16:52,542 --> 01:16:53,625
傻子

1524
01:17:11,917 --> 01:17:13,458
傻子

1525
01:18:05,083 --> 01:18:05,828
这么小

1526
01:18:05,833 --> 01:18:06,787
好可爱

1527
01:18:06,792 --> 01:18:07,828
怎么扇啊

1528
01:18:07,833 --> 01:18:08,703
我照扇

1529
01:18:08,708 --> 01:18:09,958
还超凉呢

1530
01:18:10,875 --> 01:18:12,458
好无聊啊

1531
01:18:12,542 --> 01:18:13,745
我不想跟你玩了

1532
01:18:13,750 --> 01:18:15,208
我找一个人跟你玩

1533
01:18:16,333 --> 01:18:17,203
你啊

1534
01:18:17,208 --> 01:18:18,458
要像我一样了

1535
01:18:18,583 --> 01:18:19,750
每天敷

1536
01:18:20,042 --> 01:18:21,245
敷大概一个月吧

1537
01:18:21,250 --> 01:18:22,625
就会越来越美了

1538
01:18:23,417 --> 01:18:24,537
一个月

1539
01:18:24,542 --> 01:18:25,370
这么久

1540
01:18:25,375 --> 01:18:26,245
差不多了

1541
01:18:26,250 --> 01:18:27,495
不算很久

1542
01:18:27,500 --> 01:18:28,995
而且我想提醒你

1543
01:18:29,000 --> 01:18:30,787
其实你皮肤这么白净

1544
01:18:30,792 --> 01:18:32,333
胭脂不要太红

1545
01:18:32,375 --> 01:18:33,412
粉红色

1546
01:18:33,417 --> 01:18:34,625
会更娇嫩的

1547
01:18:35,042 --> 01:18:36,583
我不太会选化妆品啦

1548
01:18:36,875 --> 01:18:37,870
做美女啊

1549
01:18:37,875 --> 01:18:39,083
要付出代价的

1550
01:18:39,958 --> 01:18:41,417
你不要看我是神仙

1551
01:18:41,458 --> 01:18:44,042
我已经几百年没有吃过一餐饱饭了

1552
01:18:45,625 --> 01:18:47,542
当仙女好可怜啊

1553
01:18:48,875 --> 01:18:50,370
不知道当神仙有什么好

1554
01:18:50,375 --> 01:18:51,912
也不知道你们为什么要羡慕

1555
01:18:51,917 --> 01:18:53,745
又不可以谈恋爱又不可以结婚

1556
01:18:53,750 --> 01:18:55,167
又不可以生孩子

1557
01:18:56,375 --> 01:18:58,167
那幸好我还能生孩子

1558
01:18:58,500 --> 01:18:59,792
不对啊

1559
01:19:00,250 --> 01:19:02,912
那大鹏主公如果变玉帝的话

1560
01:19:02,917 --> 01:19:04,792
我就不能跟他在一起了

1561
01:19:05,875 --> 01:19:07,537
我一早就看穿你

1562
01:19:07,542 --> 01:19:08,787
知道你喜欢他

1563
01:19:08,792 --> 01:19:10,875
不过没想到你这么重口昧

1564
01:19:12,458 --> 01:19:14,495
其实大鹏主公不生气的话

1565
01:19:14,500 --> 01:19:15,917
还挺温柔的

1566
01:19:20,500 --> 01:19:21,495
喂

1567
01:19:21,500 --> 01:19:24,037
聊得好好的你为什么要放蛇咬我

1568
01:19:24,042 --> 01:19:25,578
你是不是有病啊

1569
01:19:25,583 --> 01:19:27,037
大鹏主公的意思

1570
01:19:27,042 --> 01:19:28,412
我不能违抗啊

1571
01:19:28,417 --> 01:19:29,995
但是我也是蛇嘛

1572
01:19:30,000 --> 01:19:31,412
我是不怕蛇咬的

1573
01:19:31,417 --> 01:19:32,287
所以嘛

1574
01:19:32,292 --> 01:19:34,458
那是特别订制专门咬你的

1575
01:19:35,125 --> 01:19:36,292
你

1576
01:19:41,625 --> 01:19:43,875
你

1577
01:19:46,083 --> 01:19:47,792
美颜的秘笼我也有了

1578
01:19:48,000 --> 01:19:50,625
那我就是天下最美的仙女了

1579
01:20:15,375 --> 01:20:16,750
伏虎

1580
01:20:17,125 --> 01:20:18,625
我不是伏虎

1581
01:20:18,875 --> 01:20:21,208
我是大鹏主公的第一护卫

1582
01:20:21,333 --> 01:20:22,750
白虎

1583
01:20:23,417 --> 01:20:25,412
我是你的兄弟降龙啊

1584
01:20:25,417 --> 01:20:27,208
你怎么变成这样

1585
01:20:28,042 --> 01:20:29,203
大鹏鸟

1586
01:20:29,208 --> 01:20:31,333
你到底对他做了些什么啊

1587
01:20:32,208 --> 01:20:33,703
对不起对不起不好意思

1588
01:20:33,708 --> 01:20:34,953
我忘了跟你讲

1589
01:20:34,958 --> 01:20:36,328
你找了很久的兄弟呢

1590
01:20:36,333 --> 01:20:37,620
现在变成我的兄弟了

1591
01:20:37,625 --> 01:20:38,453
所以呢

1592
01:20:38,458 --> 01:20:40,203
我找我的兄弟跟你打

1593
01:20:40,208 --> 01:20:41,412
你们两个这么熟

1594
01:20:41,417 --> 01:20:43,042
再合适不过了是吧

1595
01:20:44,292 --> 01:20:44,953
对了对了

1596
01:20:44,958 --> 01:20:45,662
白虎

1597
01:20:45,667 --> 01:20:47,292
你赶快把这个小角色解决掉

1598
01:20:47,458 --> 01:20:48,703
别浪费我时间

1599
01:20:48,708 --> 01:20:50,000
我先去忙了

1600
01:20:54,250 --> 01:20:55,750
不要啊不要

1601
01:20:57,042 --> 01:20:57,953
伏虎不要啊

1602
01:20:57,958 --> 01:20:59,083
不要啊伏虎

1603
01:23:54,708 --> 01:23:57,250
两个神仙就这么死了

1604
01:23:58,833 --> 01:23:59,958
活该

1605
01:24:15,625 --> 01:24:17,328
降龙

1606
01:24:17,333 --> 01:24:18,625
伏虎

1607
01:24:18,875 --> 01:24:21,625
你们两个一脉而生

1608
01:24:22,000 --> 01:24:25,792
现在我各自赐予你们一个手印

1609
01:24:26,708 --> 01:24:29,162
当手印重聚之时

1610
01:24:29,167 --> 01:24:31,542
自然会法力无边

1611
01:24:32,083 --> 01:24:35,537
也就是我要你们拯救世界

1612
01:24:35,542 --> 01:24:37,875
重掌正义之时

1613
01:24:48,417 --> 01:24:50,375
快把他们两个杀死

1614
01:25:28,458 --> 01:25:29,703
欢迎归来

1615
01:25:29,708 --> 01:25:30,917
等你很久了

1616
01:25:33,708 --> 01:25:34,958
欢迎归位

1617
01:25:36,083 --> 01:25:38,417
众仙归位

1618
01:25:43,792 --> 01:25:45,083
岂有此理

1619
01:26:52,583 --> 01:26:54,370
我不要怎么又是我输

1620
01:26:54,375 --> 01:26:55,958
我不服

1621
01:27:02,500 --> 01:27:03,958
第二次收你了

1622
01:27:04,667 --> 01:27:06,042
给我好好做人

1623
01:27:06,375 --> 01:27:07,917
早日得道

1624
01:27:24,125 --> 01:27:26,250
现在终于雨过天晴了

1625
01:27:26,500 --> 01:27:27,662
对

1626
01:27:27,667 --> 01:27:29,792
那我们是不是马上回天庭呢

1627
01:27:31,125 --> 01:27:33,083
这么难得来凡间一次

1628
01:27:33,375 --> 01:27:35,000
不如逛一逛啊

1629
01:27:35,250 --> 01:27:36,370
对对对对对

1630
01:27:36,375 --> 01:27:38,787
我听说凡间有很多种猜拳的玩法

1631
01:27:38,792 --> 01:27:40,250
我们去见识见识好不好

1632
01:27:41,042 --> 01:27:42,995
你不要整天想着猜拳好不好

1633
01:27:43,000 --> 01:27:45,203
不如发挥你的三头六臂去做按摩

1634
01:27:45,208 --> 01:27:46,620
大有前途的

1635
01:27:46,625 --> 01:27:48,333
好啊 可以考虑

1636
01:27:48,625 --> 01:27:50,078
哎 你们有没有觉得很饿啊

1637
01:27:50,083 --> 01:27:50,870
我觉得有点饿

1638
01:27:50,875 --> 01:27:52,162
先吃东西好不好 好啊好啊

1639
01:27:52,167 --> 01:27:52,953
也好啊

1640
01:27:52,958 --> 01:27:53,833
好

1641
01:27:54,042 --> 01:27:54,953
既然如此

1642
01:27:54,958 --> 01:27:56,167
我们吃火锅去呀

1643
01:27:57,667 --> 01:27:59,958
我带大家去吃狗肉怎么样

1644
01:28:00,208 --> 01:28:01,333
不可以吃狗肉

1645
01:28:01,375 --> 01:28:02,537
开玩笑的

1646
01:28:02,542 --> 01:28:04,620
我怎么会忘记你的哮天犬

1647
01:28:04,625 --> 01:28:05,370
好

1648
01:28:05,375 --> 01:28:06,245
吃斋菜

1649
01:28:06,250 --> 01:28:07,250
罗汉斋

1650
01:28:07,333 --> 01:28:08,500
好

1651
01:28:08,750 --> 01:28:09,875
走

1652
01:28:29,917 --> 01:28:30,870
师父你的面

1653
01:28:30,875 --> 01:28:32,708
请慢用 阿弥陀佛

1654
01:28:35,125 --> 01:28:36,578
大战过后呢

1655
01:28:36,583 --> 01:28:38,708
接下来肯定是太平盛世

1656
01:28:39,042 --> 01:28:41,120
问题是长治久安呢

1657
01:28:41,125 --> 01:28:43,542
很多人呢又忘记要居安思危了

1658
01:28:43,708 --> 01:28:45,120
所以我做济公啊

1659
01:28:45,125 --> 01:28:46,917
真是压力山大

1660
01:28:47,750 --> 01:28:49,625
我们这个挂件特别好

1661
01:28:51,000 --> 01:28:52,708
新织的手工挂件

1662
01:28:53,500 --> 01:28:55,000
话才刚说完

1663
01:28:55,375 --> 01:28:57,333
人渣就出现了

1664
01:28:58,917 --> 01:29:00,620
姑娘你看一下吧

1665
01:29:00,625 --> 01:29:01,708
好

1666
01:29:02,625 --> 01:29:04,120
新织的手工挂件

1667
01:29:04,125 --> 01:29:05,287
快过来看看啊

1668
01:29:05,292 --> 01:29:06,583
可漂亮了

1669
01:29:06,917 --> 01:29:09,375
我的马子四处有

1670
01:29:10,208 --> 01:29:11,500
嘿哟

1671
01:29:13,917 --> 01:29:15,042
你谁啊

1672
01:29:15,750 --> 01:29:17,042
非礼啊

1673
01:29:17,875 --> 01:29:19,292
你这么坏啊

1674
01:29:19,667 --> 01:29:21,500
我去耍耍你

1675
01:29:25,208 --> 01:29:26,833
来个湿吻吧

1676
01:29:27,750 --> 01:29:28,787
你想干嘛

1677
01:29:28,792 --> 01:29:30,000
我想干嘛

1678
01:29:30,083 --> 01:29:32,000
想跟你玩个魔术而已

1679
01:29:32,292 --> 01:29:34,667
嘛哩嘛哩哄

1680
01:29:40,083 --> 01:29:42,042
看你现在多可爱

1681
01:29:42,167 --> 01:29:43,875
可是没办法带回家啊

1682
01:29:44,042 --> 01:29:44,995
再来一下

1683
01:29:45,000 --> 01:29:46,083
哇

1684
01:29:54,458 --> 01:29:56,208
好可爱呀

1685
01:30:04,667 --> 01:30:06,833
好可爱呀

1686
01:30:08,375 --> 01:30:09,625
太可爱了

1687
01:30:09,958 --> 01:30:11,203
那是我家主人

1688
01:30:11,208 --> 01:30:13,583
别走啊

1689
01:30:15,250 --> 01:30:18,500
众位卿家在凡间平乱有功

1690
01:30:18,958 --> 01:30:22,375
所以准备将你们每人连升三级

1691
01:30:24,292 --> 01:30:25,203
怎么了

1692
01:30:25,208 --> 01:30:26,292
不高兴啊

1693
01:30:27,375 --> 01:30:29,125
那给别的赏赐好了

1694
01:30:30,958 --> 01:30:32,703
那就赏你们每人

1695
01:30:32,708 --> 01:30:34,792
爱奇艺vip一百年吧

1696
01:30:44,500 --> 01:30:46,500
三百多年没亲过你

1697
01:30:46,542 --> 01:30:49,328
都已经忘了你嘴唇是什么味道了

1698
01:30:49,333 --> 01:30:51,625
尝过就知道了

1699
01:30:52,333 --> 01:30:54,500
那我准备尝了

1700
01:30:57,500 --> 01:30:58,917
伏虎呢

1701
01:30:59,083 --> 01:31:00,417
对啊

1702
01:31:01,167 --> 01:31:03,125
那个家伙跑哪去了

1703
01:31:11,792 --> 01:31:13,292
你没事吧你

1704
01:31:14,792 --> 01:31:17,000
没事

1705
01:31:17,917 --> 01:31:19,453
你继续去打Kiss

1706
01:31:19,458 --> 01:31:20,745
我先去休息

1707
01:31:20,750 --> 01:31:22,167
你继续吧

1708
01:31:28,833 --> 01:31:30,245
如果伏虎出什么事

1709
01:31:30,250 --> 01:31:32,250
我一个人肯定搞不定

1710
01:31:32,667 --> 01:31:33,287
哼

1711
01:31:33,292 --> 01:31:34,333
有麻烦吗

1712
01:31:35,375 --> 01:31:36,542
谁啊

1713
01:31:37,625 --> 01:31:39,078
好玩的

1714
01:31:39,083 --> 01:31:40,917
怎么可以不找我呢

1715
01:31:42,167 --> 01:31:44,667
有你我就放心了