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Downloaded from
YTS.MX

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Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.MX

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查理，要哪一款

4
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给我五袋最好的狗粮

5
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这款，好

6
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让我来，让我来

7
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麻烦你了老板，你人真好啊

8
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不用客气，说好人都及不上你

9
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经常买那么好的狗粮请流浪狗吃

10
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早晨查理

11
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早晨呀珠女，没见一段时间又长大了

12
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早晨查理

13
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都一样吗？

14
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糯米鸡冻奶茶，我待会再来拿

15
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早就准备好了

16
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行行行，多少钱？

17
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我，我，我给你钱

18
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不用了，不用了

19
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不好不好

20
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不用了，不用了

21
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今天我请吧我请

22
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不好不好

23
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拿走，拿走

24
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小狗，你没有家吗？

25
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不如跟我回家吧

26
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多多，多多

27
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多多，多多

28
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哥哥你见过我的小狗吗？

29
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小狗呀，没有啊

30
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你的小狗长成怎么样的？

31
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棕色，小小的一只，牠叫多多

32
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呜呜

33
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呜呜

34
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呜呜

35
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你的小狗是不是这样叫的，呜呜

36
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是啊

37
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那么我有听见过

38
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在那边很远的地方，去找牠吧

39
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好，谢谢哥哥

40
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查理哥，为什么用绷带绑住牠的手脚

41
00:04:03,375 --> 00:04:05,616
那么牠看起来就可怜一点

42
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人们看到牠爱心就多一点

43
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那么捐钱时就自然慷慨点

44
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记得要一比九十九

45
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一份正货狗粮

46
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混九十九份地沟泥

47
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好，我明白了

48
00:04:22,667 --> 00:04:25,249
那么狗吃了就会拉稀屎

49
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然后那些狗主就要来买特效止泻药

50
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你怎么不说大声点？

51
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向动新闻报料，叫他来采访我吧！

52
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如果要报料

53
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当然是报你假装痉挛行骗慈善狗主吧

54
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那只狗呢

55
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对不起！对不起！

56
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开玩笑而已

57
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查理哥，那有人能像你这样厉害

58
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在这个狗狗之家

59
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装痉挛骗取别人的同情心啊

60
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查理哥，我真的非常敬佩你的

61
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我下辈子就靠你了

62
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我以后跟定你了

63
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不要抛弃我啊

64
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努力吧

65
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时间差不多，有个爱心太太团快到了

66
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哦…  准备一下吧

67
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好，加油

68
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不好意思

69
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公共交通工具上不可以吸烟的

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荒谬

71
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这根是烟吗

72
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会抽的一定抽这些电子烟

73
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先生，你一个人坐两个人的位置啊

74
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你多管闲事

75
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我一个人付两个人的费用

76
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当然坐两个位置

77
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付两份钱不代表可以坐两个位置的

78
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你还是多管闲事啊，你是谁？

79
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你是梁葱圈吗，不喜欢就报警吧

80
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你干什么？

81
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机器放这边，拍好一点

82
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拍我的侧脸，记紧上载到脸书骗取喜欢

83
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谁叫我长的这么帅气，你管我

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船上都是人证

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上岸报警捉你

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好啊

87
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不如大家告诉这个多管闲事的我是谁？

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村长

89
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你是识时务的话现在就蹲下

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双手按着头

91
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否则我丢你下海

92
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要你好像游渡海泳般游上岸

93
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叫你蹲就真的蹲，没骨气！

94
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生果达

95
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不要这么骯脏吧

96
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知道，村长

97
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村长，麻烦把球踢过来

98
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怎么了，哭得眼泪这么大颗干什么

99
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给他二十元，不准哭

100
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怎么了，为什么盯着我，这么大杀气

101
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给他二十玩，赞我好球

102
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村长好球

103
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再给他二十元，叫我帅哥

104
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叫你帅哥至少要四十元吧

105
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你有种，有前途

106
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每人派四十元，一起叫，过来过来

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我又要

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一起叫

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村长帅哥！村长帅哥！村长帅哥

110
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大家看看，像一把拖把吗？

111
00:07:35,125 --> 00:07:37,992
当初我见到牠都以为是一把拖把

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被一群老鼠围着咬

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看清楚一点

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原来是一只小狗

115
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当时我的良心不断的呼唤我

116
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救牠吧，你不救牠，牠会死的

117
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所以我救了牠回来

118
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现在已经变成一只很可爱的小狗，叫多多

119
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很漂亮啊

120
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好可爱啊

121
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看看牠现在多么可爱

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可惜，这里的经费不够

123
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而我本人是天生残废

124
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否则，我可以尽自己的能力

125
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帮助更多的小动物

126
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让每一只流浪狗都可以有一个家

127
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不用鼓掌

128
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这么表面的功夫不中用

129
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捐钱吧

130
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捐钱捐钱

131
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我有我有

132
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查理哥，其实她们三个都那么有钱

133
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随便泡一个都足够安享晚年了

134
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你真的不懂世界艰难啊，小朋友

135
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虽说吃软饭

136
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不能嫌三嫌四

137
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不能挑剔

138
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可是你想想

139
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假如他们要求和我湿吻

140
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你说会怎样呢？

141
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我没问题啊

142
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为了吃软饭我可以去得很尽的

143
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查理

144
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晚上记得送两袋狗粮到我家啊

145
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来了，机会来了

146
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看看你可以去得有多尽

147
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好

148
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哎唷，如果让我来送又怎样呢？

149
00:09:13,417 --> 00:09:14,532
你啊？

150
00:09:15,000 --> 00:09:16,865
我也要两包

151
00:09:16,875 --> 00:09:18,581
你也要两包啊？

152
00:09:18,583 --> 00:09:20,289
我要三包

153
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三包啊？

154
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晚一点送来都可以

155
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我洗完澡在家等你

156
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不是不是

157
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我煮方便面等你来吃

158
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坏蛋

159
00:09:29,667 --> 00:09:30,952
进去挑东西吧

160
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有方便面你吃啊

161
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好了，好了，进去吧

162
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不然就扫兴了

163
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多多

164
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人性很堕落吧

165
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查理

166
00:09:43,042 --> 00:09:43,872
Gigi

167
00:09:45,500 --> 00:09:50,494
哗，看一下，今天很漂亮啊

168
00:09:50,750 --> 00:09:52,866
每天都漂亮的啊

169
00:09:53,958 --> 00:09:56,950
你戴着那么多星星出来，叫人多羡慕啊

170
00:09:56,958 --> 00:10:00,405
我要回加拿大探亲，要花几个月时间

171
00:10:00,417 --> 00:10:02,282
麻烦你替我照顾乌冬

172
00:10:02,292 --> 00:10:03,077
行，没问题

173
00:10:03,083 --> 00:10:05,790
我会把牠当成亲生女一样，好乖啊

174
00:10:05,792 --> 00:10:07,874
查理，这里小小意思

175
00:10:07,875 --> 00:10:09,957
当作是乌冬的伙食费吧

176
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你真的要这样计较吗？

177
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你收了吧

178
00:10:17,125 --> 00:10:18,615
那么谢谢了

179
00:10:19,333 --> 00:10:21,870
怎么了，今次和汤生去那里啊？

180
00:10:21,875 --> 00:10:23,661
我和他离婚了

181
00:10:23,667 --> 00:10:25,658
他被我捉到和一个小鬼子通奸

182
00:10:25,667 --> 00:10:27,749
我还要分一半家产给他

183
00:10:27,750 --> 00:10:29,331
那法官不知道怎么判的

184
00:10:29,917 --> 00:10:32,454
这样也好啊，单身女子

185
00:10:32,458 --> 00:10:33,698
喜欢去哪里就哪里

186
00:10:33,958 --> 00:10:35,949
喜欢泡谁就泡谁

187
00:10:36,375 --> 00:10:39,208
我晚一点送狗粮到你家

188
00:10:39,542 --> 00:10:42,454
和你喝喝红酒，玩玩小狗，好吗？

189
00:10:43,292 --> 00:10:45,499
也好，可借你身体…这样子

190
00:10:46,292 --> 00:10:48,624
如果不是，你是挺好的

191
00:10:49,500 --> 00:10:52,697
其实我这个样子，很容易就痊愈的

192
00:10:52,917 --> 00:10:54,828
说不定今天晚上刮风下雨

193
00:10:54,833 --> 00:10:56,744
打雷闪电，一度闪电擘下来

194
00:10:56,750 --> 00:10:58,240
我这个样子，好容易就痊愈的

195
00:10:59,292 --> 00:11:00,782
现在不说这些了

196
00:11:00,792 --> 00:11:02,828
我快要起行，还要去收拾行李

197
00:11:02,833 --> 00:11:04,789
如果回来之后，真有奇迹

198
00:11:04,792 --> 00:11:05,872
那我们就什么吧

199
00:11:05,875 --> 00:11:08,708
好吧，回来后奇迹出现就什么吧

200
00:11:09,083 --> 00:11:10,789
好吧，我走了

201
00:11:14,000 --> 00:11:14,989
顺风啊

202
00:11:15,250 --> 00:11:17,457
再见了查理，再见乌冬

203
00:11:17,458 --> 00:11:18,698
玩得开心点吧

204
00:11:19,375 --> 00:11:21,457
我会把牠当成亲生女一样的

205
00:11:29,958 --> 00:11:30,913
狗王标

206
00:11:32,458 --> 00:11:33,743
有只新西摩

207
00:11:33,750 --> 00:11:36,162
大家闺秀，还是处女

208
00:11:36,167 --> 00:11:38,078
一个晚上四千元任做可以吗？

209
00:11:52,625 --> 00:11:53,410
老妈

210
00:11:56,333 --> 00:11:57,664
对不起，对不起

211
00:12:02,667 --> 00:12:04,658
老妈这套拳法起码还要耍一个小时

212
00:12:04,667 --> 00:12:06,328
让我赶快试试新买的那副立体眼镜

213
00:12:15,292 --> 00:12:17,032
真的很立体啊

214
00:12:17,500 --> 00:12:19,161
不要靠太近，不要靠太近

215
00:12:26,000 --> 00:12:26,989
来吧来吧

216
00:12:30,542 --> 00:12:31,952
我都说你这些后母真阴毒

217
00:12:31,958 --> 00:12:32,993
你站在这里很久了吗？

218
00:12:33,375 --> 00:12:35,661
站多久不是重点

219
00:12:35,667 --> 00:12:37,032
本来见你这么享受

220
00:12:37,042 --> 00:12:38,657
我不想骚扰你的

221
00:12:39,375 --> 00:12:41,957
可是你不停挤我的润肤乳

222
00:12:42,250 --> 00:12:45,617
千多元的，很心疼的啊

223
00:12:45,958 --> 00:12:47,949
还给你还给你，行了行了

224
00:12:48,708 --> 00:12:50,744
话说回来，臭小子

225
00:12:50,750 --> 00:12:54,242
你经常这样自己玩，不是办法啊

226
00:12:54,250 --> 00:12:55,205
自己玩好啊

227
00:12:55,208 --> 00:12:56,823
不用约人，又方便

228
00:12:57,208 --> 00:13:00,780
我知道好玩，但不如找个伴侣分享吧

229
00:13:00,792 --> 00:13:02,578
认认真真的找个老婆

230
00:13:02,583 --> 00:13:06,246
就可以每个晚上一起玩

231
00:13:06,333 --> 00:13:07,789
我哪有时间找老婆啊

232
00:13:07,792 --> 00:13:10,704
我近来沉沦事业，正忙着一笔大生意

233
00:13:16,333 --> 00:13:19,746
我知道，自从你当了村长

234
00:13:19,750 --> 00:13:21,536
天天看这些美剧

235
00:13:21,542 --> 00:13:23,157
学做坏人

236
00:13:23,417 --> 00:13:24,998
这个世界已经变了

237
00:13:25,000 --> 00:13:26,661
近来流行坏人当红做主角

238
00:13:26,667 --> 00:13:28,828
好人全都「含得轮橡皮糖」（只能当配角）

239
00:13:28,833 --> 00:13:30,494
我不管你含什么

240
00:13:30,500 --> 00:13:33,287
总之近来老妈想喝新抱茶

241
00:13:33,708 --> 00:13:36,745
喂，我今天为你准备了一个好女孩

242
00:13:36,750 --> 00:13:38,661
是真是假啊？

243
00:13:38,667 --> 00:13:40,123
真的

244
00:13:40,500 --> 00:13:41,410
炳炳

245
00:13:44,625 --> 00:13:47,583
炳妈，今天的盲曹(鲈鱼)很生猛

246
00:13:47,792 --> 00:13:49,202
我特意带了两条来

247
00:13:49,208 --> 00:13:50,573
给你做刺身

248
00:13:50,583 --> 00:13:52,494
盲曹做刺身

249
00:13:52,500 --> 00:13:54,206
想我肚泻而死吗？

250
00:13:54,208 --> 00:13:56,324
发神经的

251
00:13:59,750 --> 00:14:01,331
每个女人你都看不上

252
00:14:01,333 --> 00:14:02,914
你要怎样的女人呀

253
00:14:03,208 --> 00:14:05,620
我就是要像那些美剧女主角一样

254
00:14:05,625 --> 00:14:07,240
又美，又可以跟我一起狼狈为奸

255
00:14:08,167 --> 00:14:09,407
哪有这样的女人

256
00:14:09,417 --> 00:14:10,452
一定有

257
00:14:51,167 --> 00:14:52,748
你的腿怎么受伤了？

258
00:14:53,000 --> 00:14:54,285
是不是很痛呀？

259
00:14:55,083 --> 00:14:57,369
你叫什么名字呀？

260
00:14:57,792 --> 00:14:59,498
牠叫多多

261
00:15:01,708 --> 00:15:03,994
这种小狗的自尊心很强的

262
00:15:04,417 --> 00:15:06,282
如果将来牠的腿治不好的话

263
00:15:06,375 --> 00:15:08,206
就不要把牠跟其他小狗放在一块

264
00:15:08,208 --> 00:15:09,243
不然牠会自卑的

265
00:15:12,167 --> 00:15:14,374
这种残废心理，我最了解，我是过来人

266
00:15:15,167 --> 00:15:16,452
你好，我叫查理

267
00:15:16,458 --> 00:15:17,447
你怎样称呼？

268
00:15:17,875 --> 00:15:19,866
我叫余真

269
00:15:19,875 --> 00:15:22,366
我想问一下你知道这上面的地址在哪吗？

270
00:15:25,458 --> 00:15:27,073
一直走就见到了

271
00:15:28,083 --> 00:15:29,914
你穿得很斯文啊，你做盛行的？

272
00:15:30,250 --> 00:15:31,660
做写字楼的？

273
00:15:31,667 --> 00:15:34,124
啊，空姐

274
00:15:34,292 --> 00:15:36,157
很多空姐住在这里的

275
00:15:36,750 --> 00:15:38,286
不是，我是写小说的

276
00:15:38,875 --> 00:15:42,322
我都是写作的，我问中会写电影剧本的

277
00:15:42,542 --> 00:15:44,999
你有看《起势夜蒲》吗？

278
00:15:45,667 --> 00:15:46,497
没有

279
00:15:46,500 --> 00:15:49,537
真巧合，我都没有，证明我们的口味一样

280
00:15:49,708 --> 00:15:50,993
来吧，乌冬

281
00:15:51,792 --> 00:15:52,577
看看那边

282
00:15:52,958 --> 00:15:54,539
竟然有狗三级片

283
00:15:54,542 --> 00:15:56,328
查理哥真是变态的

284
00:15:56,708 --> 00:15:59,495
什么时候去你家坐坐

285
00:15:59,958 --> 00:16:02,165
不用了，我一个人住不太方便

286
00:16:03,167 --> 00:16:08,161
这样才方便，你没有男朋友吗？

287
00:16:08,167 --> 00:16:10,374
老公呢？没有男人的吗？

288
00:16:11,500 --> 00:16:14,207
不早了，我先走了，不打扰你了，再见

289
00:16:15,917 --> 00:16:18,124
不打扰，我这里开狗店的

290
00:16:18,375 --> 00:16:19,831
打扰你了，谢谢

291
00:16:19,833 --> 00:16:21,869
我可以给你租只狗回家守门口啊，怎样？

292
00:16:23,167 --> 00:16:25,374
什么事查理哥？她是谁？

293
00:16:25,583 --> 00:16:26,538
富婆

294
00:16:26,917 --> 00:16:27,997
你怎知道？

295
00:16:28,083 --> 00:16:29,414
你看看她的手袋

296
00:16:29,417 --> 00:16:30,702
价值十几万一个的

297
00:16:31,083 --> 00:16:33,199
哗！那真是值得泡啊！

298
00:16:33,333 --> 00:16:35,244
喂，那两只狗完事了吗？

299
00:16:35,250 --> 00:16:36,080
还没有

300
00:16:36,083 --> 00:16:37,038
那你为什么出来？

301
00:16:37,167 --> 00:16:38,077
我先去干活

302
00:16:40,708 --> 00:16:42,369
怎么了美女，想买什么呀？

303
00:16:42,708 --> 00:16:44,118
我想买些梨，甜不甜的

304
00:16:44,125 --> 00:16:45,535
甜，帮你选吧

305
00:16:48,917 --> 00:16:49,781
生果达

306
00:16:49,792 --> 00:16:51,578
又借故把烂生果卖给游客吗？

307
00:16:51,583 --> 00:16:52,868
我没有呀村长

308
00:16:52,875 --> 00:16:55,082
没有？这是什么？

309
00:16:55,083 --> 00:16:56,664
你  拿去换掉吧

310
00:16:59,917 --> 00:17:02,579
其实买生果最重要是什么

311
00:17:02,583 --> 00:17:03,698
试过了好吃才买

312
00:17:07,125 --> 00:17:08,535
哎呀，不好意思

313
00:17:08,542 --> 00:17:09,372
没事

314
00:17:11,292 --> 00:17:15,035
哗，你的村长在泡女啊

315
00:17:15,042 --> 00:17:17,033
你看看他那副德性

316
00:17:17,208 --> 00:17:18,664
未见过你，你新搬来吗？

317
00:17:19,667 --> 00:17:21,908
我就住在这附近，你是村长？

318
00:17:22,125 --> 00:17:24,582
是的，我就是这里的村长

319
00:17:24,583 --> 00:17:25,538
我叫冯仁炳

320
00:17:26,083 --> 00:17:27,243
我是余真

321
00:17:27,250 --> 00:17:28,114
你好你好

322
00:17:28,125 --> 00:17:28,910
你好

323
00:17:30,667 --> 00:17:32,123
柑桔好甜，就买柑桔

324
00:17:32,292 --> 00:17:33,532
真是狐狸精

325
00:17:33,542 --> 00:17:34,873
请你吃，回家慢慢吃

326
00:17:35,958 --> 00:17:36,788
这么多呀？

327
00:17:36,792 --> 00:17:37,622
别客气

328
00:17:37,708 --> 00:17:41,530
炳炳！炳炳！炳炳呀

329
00:17:42,125 --> 00:17:43,365
那女孩在叫你

330
00:17:43,375 --> 00:17:44,831
别管她，她胡混的，每天都这样

331
00:17:44,833 --> 00:17:46,414
你还有什么要买，我陪你去买

332
00:17:46,417 --> 00:17:47,577
我想去买鱼

333
00:17:48,167 --> 00:17:49,873
那边我不去了

334
00:17:49,875 --> 00:17:51,160
我突然想吃火锅

335
00:17:51,167 --> 00:17:53,032
我现在去发记吃火锅，再见再见

336
00:17:53,625 --> 00:17:54,831
谢谢村长

337
00:17:55,042 --> 00:17:56,452
很有鱼味的

338
00:17:59,667 --> 00:18:00,497
老板

339
00:18:00,500 --> 00:18:01,285
是

340
00:18:01,292 --> 00:18:02,577
我想问一下中间第二排

341
00:18:02,583 --> 00:18:03,823
那条白色鱼怎么卖？

342
00:18:04,000 --> 00:18:06,867
这条鱼不卖的，留来自己吃

343
00:18:06,875 --> 00:18:08,536
那你脚旁边黑色那条呢？

344
00:18:08,542 --> 00:18:09,497
两百元

345
00:18:09,708 --> 00:18:11,323
两百？

346
00:18:11,333 --> 00:18:12,948
不是写五十元一条吗？

347
00:18:12,958 --> 00:18:15,495
五十元是村民价

348
00:18:15,500 --> 00:18:19,118
你这些狐狸精价就是两百元

349
00:18:19,125 --> 00:18:20,911
是特地卖贵给你的

350
00:18:20,917 --> 00:18:23,374
嫌贵？不要买吧！

351
00:18:27,000 --> 00:18:28,490
那算了，我不买了

352
00:18:32,167 --> 00:18:33,623
怕事

353
00:18:36,500 --> 00:18:37,956
太过开心

354
00:18:37,958 --> 00:18:39,118
肚子痛

355
00:18:40,042 --> 00:18:44,081
麻烦借一下

356
00:18:46,042 --> 00:18:47,248
你注意风向吧

357
00:18:47,250 --> 00:18:48,080
对不起，对不起

358
00:18:48,083 --> 00:18:48,868
「屎滚滚」（很急）

359
00:18:49,125 --> 00:18:50,160
快出来了

360
00:18:52,417 --> 00:18:53,577
蜑家英！快走！

361
00:18:54,500 --> 00:18:55,285
有美女呀

362
00:18:59,833 --> 00:19:02,165
鬼鬼祟祟在干什么，看看

363
00:19:22,083 --> 00:19:24,165
干什么，有人啊！

364
00:19:26,208 --> 00:19:27,493
你胆敢欺负我

365
00:19:27,875 --> 00:19:29,581
喂！干什么！

366
00:19:30,500 --> 00:19:32,741
是谁？干什么

367
00:19:33,250 --> 00:19:34,615
开门呀，不要玩呀！

368
00:19:34,625 --> 00:19:35,455
谁是狐狸精呀？

369
00:19:35,458 --> 00:19:37,289
趁人拉屎才报复

370
00:19:37,292 --> 00:19:38,532
那有这么坏的女人

371
00:19:38,542 --> 00:19:39,657
女神啊！

372
00:19:39,667 --> 00:19:42,079
拉肚子了吧，这就是你的报应

373
00:19:46,500 --> 00:19:48,115
他妈的

374
00:19:49,333 --> 00:19:51,870
是谁？   蜑家英全身是屎，快走

375
00:19:57,542 --> 00:19:58,406
不好意思啊

376
00:20:06,250 --> 00:20:09,538
余小姐，因为你的信用卡是附属产品

377
00:20:09,542 --> 00:20:10,998
而你的私人户口

378
00:20:11,000 --> 00:20:13,958
又签了全权代理投资的授权书

379
00:20:13,958 --> 00:20:16,870
由于户主已暂停你所有的帐户

380
00:20:16,875 --> 00:20:20,447
所以你的户口信用卡，暂时都停用

381
00:20:29,375 --> 00:20:31,661
你的卡负值，落车吧

382
00:20:31,750 --> 00:20:33,035
我付现金可以吗？

383
00:20:33,042 --> 00:20:36,034
你睁开双眼看清楚个钱箱

384
00:20:36,042 --> 00:20:37,532
封了

385
00:20:37,542 --> 00:20:40,989
我那个死人吝啬老板怀疑我偷硬币

386
00:20:41,000 --> 00:20:43,161
就把箱封了，现在只可以拍卡

387
00:20:43,167 --> 00:20:44,998
师傅，我经常坐这车的

388
00:20:45,000 --> 00:20:46,456
你通融一下，我下次付

389
00:20:46,458 --> 00:20:48,915
我下次请你吃饭看电影按摩好吗

390
00:20:48,917 --> 00:20:50,498
今次你先下车吧！

391
00:20:50,500 --> 00:20:51,865
你这次就帮帮忙，好吗？

392
00:20:51,875 --> 00:20:53,740
我叫你下车呀！

393
00:20:57,083 --> 00:20:58,823
厉害厉害

394
00:20:58,833 --> 00:21:00,869
每颗眼泪都这么大颗

395
00:21:00,875 --> 00:21:03,412
那么好演技，去拿影后吧！

396
00:21:03,917 --> 00:21:05,248
村长

397
00:21:05,250 --> 00:21:07,457
麒麟文，原来是你

398
00:21:08,125 --> 00:21:10,867
对女士不需要这么粗声粗气吧

399
00:21:10,875 --> 00:21:14,572
我们村里每个人都是这样的啦

400
00:21:14,583 --> 00:21:17,950
你不要乱说话，坏我形象

401
00:21:17,958 --> 00:21:19,664
我替这位女士拍两次

402
00:21:19,667 --> 00:21:21,157
你向她道歉吧

403
00:21:21,167 --> 00:21:23,579
不是拍多少次的问题

404
00:21:23,583 --> 00:21:25,619
我拍三次，你向她道歉吧

405
00:21:25,625 --> 00:21:29,117
你明白吗，我们男人就

406
00:21:30,250 --> 00:21:31,581
你这是什么卡

407
00:21:31,583 --> 00:21:33,289
为什么可以这样连续拍的？

408
00:21:33,292 --> 00:21:34,907
你真有眼光

409
00:21:34,917 --> 00:21:38,705
这是全港独一无二的百达通黑卡

410
00:21:38,708 --> 00:21:41,871
是百达通公司在我生日的时候悄悄地发售

411
00:21:41,875 --> 00:21:43,331
幸好被我买到

412
00:21:43,333 --> 00:21:46,655
每逢用这张黑卡有九九折外

413
00:21:46,667 --> 00:21:48,328
还有一个特别的功能

414
00:21:48,333 --> 00:21:51,871
就是每一部百达通机都可以让我任拍

415
00:21:51,875 --> 00:21:53,957
拍到我不想拍为止

416
00:21:53,958 --> 00:21:58,156
大哥，村长，你不要再拍了

417
00:21:58,167 --> 00:21:59,907
我投降了

418
00:21:59,917 --> 00:22:03,455
拍坏了这部机我就要被革职了

419
00:22:03,458 --> 00:22:05,790
小姐，不好意思

420
00:22:05,792 --> 00:22:08,909
你是村长的朋友就早说吧

421
00:22:12,083 --> 00:22:13,664
谢谢你啊，村长

422
00:22:13,667 --> 00:22:15,498
叫我阿炳可以了

423
00:22:15,500 --> 00:22:17,331
看来你手头有点拮据

424
00:22:17,333 --> 00:22:19,119
来，拿去用吧

425
00:22:21,292 --> 00:22:22,748
我很欣赏你的

426
00:22:22,750 --> 00:22:24,490
你现在可能觉得我很陌生

427
00:22:24,750 --> 00:22:26,115
但是我们相交久了

428
00:22:26,125 --> 00:22:30,994
我担保我找掘头扫把赶你都不肯走，来吧

429
00:22:33,833 --> 00:22:35,915
那谢谢了，阿炳

430
00:22:36,042 --> 00:22:38,533
等我的钱汇过来我就把它还给你

431
00:22:38,542 --> 00:22:39,497
再请你吃火锅

432
00:22:39,875 --> 00:22:41,536
不好，让我请

433
00:22:41,542 --> 00:22:43,749
让我亲手煮些拿手菜给你吃

434
00:22:43,750 --> 00:22:46,116
对了，你有去过迪士尼乐园吗？

435
00:22:46,500 --> 00:22:47,535
去过了

436
00:22:47,542 --> 00:22:48,748
是吗？

437
00:22:48,750 --> 00:22:50,365
那么海洋公园呢？

438
00:22:50,542 --> 00:22:51,702
也去过了

439
00:22:51,875 --> 00:22:52,739
是吗？

440
00:22:52,958 --> 00:22:55,540
村长，我提议两位直接去九龙塘吧

441
00:22:55,542 --> 00:22:57,203
我没问题呀，你说呢？

442
00:22:58,500 --> 00:22:59,615
我想回家

443
00:22:59,625 --> 00:23:01,206
回家回家！

444
00:23:01,417 --> 00:23:02,577
那约好吃饭了

445
00:23:02,583 --> 00:23:04,164
我现在回家换件衣服

446
00:23:04,167 --> 00:23:06,829
去乡公所主持一个很重要的会议

447
00:23:07,667 --> 00:23:11,080
一九七二年，海底隧道通车

448
00:23:11,792 --> 00:23:15,364
一九七九年，地下铁路通车

449
00:23:16,042 --> 00:23:18,283
到了一九九九年

450
00:23:18,292 --> 00:23:21,830
赤鱲角国际飞机场也通车

451
00:23:22,208 --> 00:23:24,449
村长，那是什么意思？

452
00:23:25,708 --> 00:23:29,576
我打算替我们这条村引入

453
00:23:30,125 --> 00:23:34,038
100M极速光纤宽频上网！

454
00:23:34,042 --> 00:23:36,328
那么会让整条村都是辐射吗？

455
00:23:36,333 --> 00:23:40,246
那就是吧，我喜欢这条村的网速慢

456
00:23:40,250 --> 00:23:43,697
村民也不是每个都有智能手机

457
00:23:43,708 --> 00:23:45,073
又没有低头一族

458
00:23:45,083 --> 00:23:49,702
人和人之间又保留了一份亲切的感情

459
00:23:49,875 --> 00:23:53,413
我就最怕签那些二十多个月的捆绑式长约

460
00:23:53,792 --> 00:23:55,657
你都知道中止合约那些热线

461
00:23:55,667 --> 00:23:57,453
永远都没有人接听的

462
00:23:57,958 --> 00:24:00,119
我明白大家的忧虑

463
00:24:00,500 --> 00:24:02,036
但是你们试想想

464
00:24:02,667 --> 00:24:05,500
万一有了极速宽频的话

465
00:24:05,500 --> 00:24:07,491
各位嫂子下载那些

466
00:24:07,500 --> 00:24:09,707
美剧韩剧的时间就快了

467
00:24:09,708 --> 00:24:12,245
那么监视你们的时间就少了

468
00:24:12,667 --> 00:24:14,783
每逢英超比赛日

469
00:24:14,792 --> 00:24:17,408
我会举办球赛大食会

470
00:24:17,875 --> 00:24:19,411
各位村民一起看球赛

471
00:24:19,417 --> 00:24:21,328
感情就必定

472
00:24:21,333 --> 00:24:23,198
有增无长吧

473
00:24:23,667 --> 00:24:25,623
至于签约的问题

474
00:24:26,583 --> 00:24:28,665
芥菜你不用担心

475
00:24:28,667 --> 00:24:32,615
我为大家争取到只需要签十二个月

476
00:24:33,167 --> 00:24:37,080
而每逢第三，第六，和第九个月

477
00:24:37,083 --> 00:24:38,414
都是免费回赠

478
00:24:38,583 --> 00:24:42,030
还有英超的纪念品送给大家

479
00:24:42,833 --> 00:24:44,619
大家没有意见的话

480
00:24:44,625 --> 00:24:47,241
我跟网络商都经已沟通好了

481
00:24:47,250 --> 00:24:49,332
铺线的工程会立刻进行

482
00:24:49,333 --> 00:24:53,952
那么网线就会从村口一直铺到村尾

483
00:24:54,250 --> 00:24:58,573
我相信是会影响大家的日常生活

484
00:24:59,875 --> 00:25:01,786
那不是要砍了村口的许愿树？

485
00:25:02,292 --> 00:25:03,623
砍了更好

486
00:25:03,625 --> 00:25:04,455
砍了那棵树

487
00:25:04,458 --> 00:25:06,289
我们就多了空间可以停泊更多车

488
00:25:06,500 --> 00:25:10,994
就是吧，我的车停在很远

489
00:25:11,000 --> 00:25:13,992
每次徒步回村要花二十分钟

490
00:25:14,000 --> 00:25:15,581
东莞都能到了

491
00:25:15,583 --> 00:25:17,699
不好意思，我还是要反对

492
00:25:17,708 --> 00:25:20,541
那棵许愿树是我们村的象征

493
00:25:20,542 --> 00:25:22,749
我是有责任保存这个情怀的

494
00:25:22,750 --> 00:25:24,786
你傻了呀，芥菜？

495
00:25:25,375 --> 00:25:27,161
我的愿望仍挂在树上

496
00:25:28,792 --> 00:25:30,498
你太自私了吧

497
00:25:31,292 --> 00:25:32,452
是什么愿望？

498
00:25:33,542 --> 00:25:35,533
阿莲和我分开了好多年

499
00:25:35,542 --> 00:25:37,373
我希望可以和她破镜重圆

500
00:25:39,083 --> 00:25:40,744
破镜重圆

501
00:25:40,750 --> 00:25:44,242
我用六百元买你这个愿望

502
00:25:45,333 --> 00:25:46,789
我真的很爱阿莲

503
00:25:47,667 --> 00:25:48,873
八百元

504
00:25:50,042 --> 00:25:51,578
她不只是我最爱的人

505
00:25:51,667 --> 00:25:54,909
还是我最好的朋友

506
00:25:54,917 --> 00:25:57,579
一千元，这是最高价钱了

507
00:25:57,583 --> 00:25:58,618
这个价不错的

508
00:25:58,625 --> 00:26:00,911
爱情怎么可以用钱来衡量呢？

509
00:26:02,208 --> 00:26:03,323
八百元

510
00:26:03,333 --> 00:26:05,995
如果给阿莲…知道了

511
00:26:06,000 --> 00:26:07,740
我还怎么有脸去面对她呢？

512
00:26:07,833 --> 00:26:09,494
五百元 你刚才是扣二百元

513
00:26:09,708 --> 00:26:10,788
为什么现在突然扣三百元

514
00:26:10,792 --> 00:26:11,656
一百元

515
00:26:11,750 --> 00:26:13,286
不是说好一千元吗？

516
00:26:13,292 --> 00:26:16,580
一千元就不能破镜重圆了

517
00:26:16,583 --> 00:26:17,948
实不相瞒

518
00:26:17,958 --> 00:26:19,949
阿莲背叛了我

519
00:26:19,958 --> 00:26:21,414
我要她回来也不知道为了什么

520
00:26:21,417 --> 00:26:24,079
有一千元，倒不如去找小姐好了

521
00:26:25,750 --> 00:26:27,286
我都说了

522
00:26:27,292 --> 00:26:28,953
什么东西都有一个价钱

523
00:26:28,958 --> 00:26:30,494
只要价钱合理

524
00:26:30,500 --> 00:26:33,788
世上没有东西是买不到的

525
00:26:33,792 --> 00:26:35,032
厉害！厉害！

526
00:26:38,708 --> 00:26:42,326
天灵灵地灵灵

527
00:26:42,333 --> 00:26:47,032
小狗死后不会眼瞪瞪

528
00:26:49,167 --> 00:26:52,159
菲菲只狗叫艾美

529
00:26:52,167 --> 00:26:54,078
不是啊，我叫艾美

530
00:26:54,083 --> 00:26:55,789
我的狗叫菲菲

531
00:26:57,542 --> 00:26:59,078
她叫艾美

532
00:26:59,083 --> 00:27:02,280
她的狗叫芝芝

533
00:27:02,292 --> 00:27:05,079
芝芝不懂性

534
00:27:05,083 --> 00:27:07,870
住在黄大仙，跑去吐露港

535
00:27:07,875 --> 00:27:12,289
被泥头车撞得眼瞪瞪

536
00:27:13,958 --> 00:27:16,370
这女孩真漂亮

537
00:27:20,625 --> 00:27:23,412
一破无间地狱

538
00:27:23,417 --> 00:27:26,580
升天呀菲菲

539
00:27:29,083 --> 00:27:30,118
破得好

540
00:27:30,750 --> 00:27:32,331
完成

541
00:27:32,333 --> 00:27:34,119
你的狗芝芝已经落地狱了

542
00:27:35,250 --> 00:27:37,957
不是，已经破了地狱，完成了

543
00:27:38,167 --> 00:27:38,952
节哀顺变

544
00:27:39,042 --> 00:27:41,499
这些纸扎狗，纸扎鸡，纸扎屋

545
00:27:41,833 --> 00:27:45,576
全部纸扎拿回家放七七四十九日

546
00:27:46,500 --> 00:27:48,491
没事，不用担心

547
00:27:48,917 --> 00:27:50,782
芝芝下辈子一定做海豚

548
00:27:50,792 --> 00:27:52,077
再下一辈子

549
00:27:52,083 --> 00:27:54,790
你们就可以结成夫妻了

550
00:27:56,583 --> 00:27:57,789
收足钱，收足钱

551
00:27:57,792 --> 00:27:59,077
好 麻烦查理

552
00:27:59,250 --> 00:28:00,490
节哀顺变

553
00:28:00,500 --> 00:28:02,957
账单这样的，我用计算机和你计

554
00:28:05,333 --> 00:28:06,322
别动

555
00:28:06,333 --> 00:28:07,448
查理

556
00:28:08,083 --> 00:28:09,163
站在我背后

557
00:28:10,750 --> 00:28:11,739
你小心点啊

558
00:28:11,875 --> 00:28:12,739
抱紧一点

559
00:28:12,750 --> 00:28:14,331
我们有两个人的力量对付牠

560
00:28:14,333 --> 00:28:15,118
抱紧一点

561
00:28:15,208 --> 00:28:16,698
你刚才抱得不够紧，你知吗？

562
00:28:16,708 --> 00:28:18,699
抱紧些呀！

563
00:28:25,042 --> 00:28:26,498
好好好

564
00:28:26,500 --> 00:28:28,331
我要回家了

565
00:28:28,333 --> 00:28:29,448
不行呀

566
00:28:29,458 --> 00:28:31,619
俗语说：「打蛇三分钟」，我妈妈教的

567
00:28:31,917 --> 00:28:32,872
打完蛇

568
00:28:32,875 --> 00:28:34,786
要原地站着三分钟

569
00:28:34,792 --> 00:28:36,498
那条蛇才不会回来报复的

570
00:28:42,792 --> 00:28:43,656
查理

571
00:28:44,583 --> 00:28:45,447
查理

572
00:28:48,583 --> 00:28:49,572
你醒了

573
00:28:52,083 --> 00:28:53,573
我没事吧？

574
00:28:54,208 --> 00:28:56,665
你放心吧，毒都已经帮你吸出来了

575
00:28:57,375 --> 00:28:58,865
吸出来的？

576
00:28:58,875 --> 00:29:01,867
那难怪，整个人松了

577
00:29:02,208 --> 00:29:03,243
麻烦你了

578
00:29:03,500 --> 00:29:06,162
最可惜我刚才晕倒了，没了感觉

579
00:29:06,500 --> 00:29:08,115
老是觉得还有些余毒未清

580
00:29:08,375 --> 00:29:10,366
来，现在帮我吸干净吧

581
00:29:10,667 --> 00:29:12,157
先等等吧

582
00:29:14,042 --> 00:29:16,374
你还有一些余毒没吸出来

583
00:29:16,625 --> 00:29:19,583
你给我五分钟，我抽根烟

584
00:29:19,583 --> 00:29:22,120
回来再替你吸干净，好吗？

585
00:29:22,333 --> 00:29:23,618
不要乱动了

586
00:29:30,500 --> 00:29:32,912
查理，不好意思啊

587
00:29:32,917 --> 00:29:35,499
都是因为我才连累你被蛇咬的

588
00:29:36,250 --> 00:29:37,831
改天我请你吃饭吧

589
00:29:37,833 --> 00:29:39,824
好啊，不如我弄点东西到你家吃吧

590
00:29:40,125 --> 00:29:42,582
我做的农夫沙律一流的

591
00:30:27,667 --> 00:30:28,656
村长

592
00:30:28,667 --> 00:30:29,577
查理

593
00:30:30,000 --> 00:30:32,332
今晚穿成这样，佳人有约？

594
00:30:33,042 --> 00:30:34,373
见你的衣钮扣到喉咙上面

595
00:30:34,458 --> 00:30:36,449
你肯定是约了女生吃饭吧

596
00:30:36,458 --> 00:30:37,447
进展什么阶段？

597
00:30:39,667 --> 00:30:42,864
我想什么了，她又想什么了

598
00:30:42,875 --> 00:30:44,786
大家都想什么的了

599
00:30:45,083 --> 00:30:47,620
我都是，这个阶段最开心

600
00:30:47,625 --> 00:30:49,206
你猜猜我，我猜猜你

601
00:30:49,208 --> 00:30:51,199
大家猜来猜去这样最过瘾了

602
00:30:51,708 --> 00:30:52,788
查理

603
00:30:52,792 --> 00:30:55,454
有品味，墨西哥名酒

604
00:30:55,458 --> 00:30:57,073
「半杯晕陀陀」

605
00:30:57,458 --> 00:30:59,198
易入口快上头

606
00:30:59,208 --> 00:31:01,540
饮一杯「一见如故」

607
00:31:01,542 --> 00:31:03,703
饮两杯「兴奋莫名」

608
00:31:03,708 --> 00:31:05,824
第三杯「情难自禁」

609
00:31:06,000 --> 00:31:08,161
第四杯「终身抱憾」

610
00:31:09,417 --> 00:31:12,659
看来，今晚有点堕落

611
00:31:12,667 --> 00:31:14,999
堕落好，堕落好，如你所说，如你所说

612
00:31:15,000 --> 00:31:17,241
愈堕落，愈快乐

613
00:31:19,167 --> 00:31:20,327
喂 你今晚玩得开心点

614
00:31:20,333 --> 00:31:22,073
我们晚些到发记一边宵夜

615
00:31:22,083 --> 00:31:23,243
一边赛后报告好吧

616
00:31:23,417 --> 00:31:25,703
我起码明天下午茶才完事的

617
00:31:25,708 --> 00:31:26,914
今晚会不了你

618
00:31:26,917 --> 00:31:27,872
我走这边

619
00:31:27,875 --> 00:31:31,197
什么？你走这边？

620
00:31:32,042 --> 00:31:32,781
这边

621
00:31:33,542 --> 00:31:35,078
我也是走这边的

622
00:31:35,250 --> 00:31:36,205
你又走这边？

623
00:31:40,583 --> 00:31:41,993
你们两个认识的？

624
00:31:42,583 --> 00:31:43,368
认识

625
00:31:43,375 --> 00:31:44,615
那太好了，进来吧

626
00:31:44,625 --> 00:31:45,535
好啊

627
00:31:48,458 --> 00:31:49,413
小心小心

628
00:31:50,875 --> 00:31:52,411
你们怎么带这么多东西呀？

629
00:31:53,042 --> 00:31:55,328
这个沙拉我特意做给你吃的

630
00:31:55,542 --> 00:31:59,490
每条菜都是逐条逐条在树上摘下来

631
00:31:59,500 --> 00:32:00,455
很新鲜的

632
00:32:00,833 --> 00:32:02,289
看起来很好吃的，谢谢

633
00:32:02,292 --> 00:32:03,077
还有这瓶酒

634
00:32:05,125 --> 00:32:06,456
你看我这条鱼几新鲜

635
00:32:06,458 --> 00:32:09,530
我今早特意到鱼档潜下鱼缸捉上来的

636
00:32:09,542 --> 00:32:12,079
待会我煎鱼柳给你吃

637
00:32:13,833 --> 00:32:16,825
「半杯晕陀陀」

638
00:32:22,375 --> 00:32:24,957
这鱼柳真的很新鲜，你想怎样吃？

639
00:32:25,125 --> 00:32:27,616
煎也行，炸也行，焗都行

640
00:32:29,250 --> 00:32:31,787
这种新鲜的鱼不是蒸更好吃吗？

641
00:32:32,250 --> 00:32:33,740
荒谬

642
00:32:33,750 --> 00:32:38,073
我们两人约会当然吃西餐才够罗曼蒂克

643
00:32:38,083 --> 00:32:40,699
我怎会想到多了一个不三不四的人在这里

644
00:32:40,708 --> 00:32:43,620
人家余真小姐特意约我一个人来吃饭

645
00:32:43,625 --> 00:32:44,785
我也不知道

646
00:32:44,792 --> 00:32:46,828
会有你这个不三不四的人会来啊

647
00:32:47,000 --> 00:32:49,412
我想吃个饭不是人多热闹一点吧

648
00:32:49,542 --> 00:32:50,577
不是吗？

649
00:32:51,208 --> 00:32:53,745
他都来了，有什么办法

650
00:32:53,750 --> 00:32:55,911
不如这样，你过来我教你煎鱼

651
00:32:55,917 --> 00:32:58,078
来吧，来…

652
00:33:00,458 --> 00:33:02,699
余真小姐

653
00:33:02,708 --> 00:33:03,914
查理

654
00:33:04,833 --> 00:33:05,948
余真小姐

655
00:33:05,958 --> 00:33:07,823
查理，你没事吧？

656
00:33:08,833 --> 00:33:10,494
我给你去倒杯水 不用了

657
00:33:10,500 --> 00:33:12,786
我想问你这里哪一本书是你写的？

658
00:33:13,708 --> 00:33:15,539
那一本都不是我写的

659
00:33:15,542 --> 00:33:17,407
我还没有成功出版过呢

660
00:33:18,292 --> 00:33:20,749
哎唷，你长得这么漂亮

661
00:33:20,750 --> 00:33:23,082
要出什么定有很多人帮你出的

662
00:33:23,500 --> 00:33:25,411
我发觉原来你喜欢看亦舒啊

663
00:33:25,417 --> 00:33:27,658
嗯，我是她的忠实粉丝

664
00:33:27,792 --> 00:33:29,248
我都是啊

665
00:33:29,250 --> 00:33:31,332
我尤其喜欢亦舒的《玫瑰的故事》

666
00:33:31,458 --> 00:33:33,244
亦舒是吧，那么投契是吧

667
00:33:33,375 --> 00:33:34,740
让我把鱼柳夹在腋下

668
00:33:34,750 --> 00:33:36,286
待会煎给你这个混蛋吃

669
00:33:39,250 --> 00:33:41,206
我记得当年，拍成电影

670
00:33:41,208 --> 00:33:43,665
由张曼玉小姐演出小玫瑰

671
00:33:45,000 --> 00:33:46,456
真是震撼

672
00:33:46,458 --> 00:33:48,244
不戴胸围，穿着小衬衣

673
00:33:48,250 --> 00:33:51,287
踏着滑轮鞋，一弹一弹的

674
00:33:52,875 --> 00:33:53,990
玫瑰是吗

675
00:33:54,167 --> 00:33:55,782
一弹一弹是吧

676
00:33:55,792 --> 00:33:56,702
不戴胸围

677
00:34:12,708 --> 00:34:13,663
这是你的

678
00:34:13,667 --> 00:34:14,497
谢谢

679
00:34:14,958 --> 00:34:16,869
多块鱼呀，你呀

680
00:34:18,292 --> 00:34:20,499
谁说会煮西餐

681
00:34:20,708 --> 00:34:24,155
西餐煎鱼柳，肯定要有香草的

682
00:34:24,333 --> 00:34:26,289
香草呢？香草啊

683
00:34:26,375 --> 00:34:28,832
我忘了去拿，我现在去拿，我现在去拿

684
00:34:31,917 --> 00:34:34,989
余小姐，帮我把他那碟拿过来

685
00:34:36,333 --> 00:34:37,493
有问题呀？

686
00:34:37,500 --> 00:34:39,582
当然有问题，他整个人都有问题

687
00:34:39,583 --> 00:34:41,824
给我这碟鱼肯定有问题

688
00:34:41,833 --> 00:34:43,994
那你能想到的，他就想不到吗

689
00:34:45,833 --> 00:34:47,494
那不如我跟你换吧

690
00:34:47,500 --> 00:34:49,866
你确定要那么做吗？

691
00:34:49,875 --> 00:34:52,207
当然不会，不舍得

692
00:35:02,708 --> 00:35:04,494
喂，吃吧，干什么不吃？

693
00:35:04,500 --> 00:35:06,240
我怕热，你先吃

694
00:35:06,250 --> 00:35:08,332
鱼当然要趁热吃，凉了就变腥

695
00:35:08,333 --> 00:35:09,618
你先吃

696
00:35:09,625 --> 00:35:10,489
干什么呀你

697
00:35:10,500 --> 00:35:12,115
我祈祷，你先吃

698
00:35:12,125 --> 00:35:13,240
我等你吧

699
00:35:13,250 --> 00:35:15,081
不用，要点时间，你先吃吧

700
00:35:15,083 --> 00:35:16,664
我没有地方去，等等你吧

701
00:35:16,667 --> 00:35:19,204
我说我祈祷，要静一静，你先吃吧！

702
00:35:19,875 --> 00:35:21,081
别说了

703
00:35:21,083 --> 00:35:23,745
喝酒，我家规矩，先喝三杯，来

704
00:35:24,250 --> 00:35:25,615
那我们快点灌醉余小姐

705
00:35:25,625 --> 00:35:27,741
呀不是，谢谢你请我们吃饭

706
00:35:32,875 --> 00:35:35,662
是不是好朋友呀，还不喝

707
00:35:36,458 --> 00:35:39,200
「一见如故」

708
00:35:43,042 --> 00:35:45,078
不是说很易入口吗

709
00:35:45,083 --> 00:35:47,916
但是真的很快上头，晕晕的，晕晕的

710
00:35:47,917 --> 00:35:48,952
第二杯

711
00:36:00,542 --> 00:36:04,285
第二杯「兴奋莫名」

712
00:36:04,917 --> 00:36:06,032
好开心啊

713
00:36:09,583 --> 00:36:11,665
好开心，好开心

714
00:36:13,292 --> 00:36:14,702
第三杯

715
00:36:14,708 --> 00:36:16,619
「情难自禁」

716
00:36:21,625 --> 00:36:23,911
情难自禁了

717
00:36:35,792 --> 00:36:37,908
我浑身热呼呼的

718
00:36:38,750 --> 00:36:42,072
为何你喝三杯都可以这么冷静

719
00:36:42,083 --> 00:36:44,699
冷艳得来又这么高傲

720
00:36:47,875 --> 00:36:49,411
你们喝的是酒

721
00:36:49,417 --> 00:36:50,907
我喝的是乌龙茶

722
00:36:55,042 --> 00:36:57,033
果然名不虚传

723
00:36:57,042 --> 00:36:58,327
当然

724
00:37:03,958 --> 00:37:05,494
玫瑰

725
00:37:07,667 --> 00:37:11,114
我去洗个澡，你等我啊

726
00:37:12,292 --> 00:37:21,701
玫瑰，玫瑰，我爱你

727
00:37:29,667 --> 00:37:31,498
老妈，厨房有汤

728
00:37:31,500 --> 00:37:33,365
你自己翻热来喝吧

729
00:37:33,375 --> 00:37:35,582
我上去打手枪后就睡了

730
00:37:38,125 --> 00:37:39,205
应承你

731
00:37:39,208 --> 00:37:40,823
一枪而已

732
00:37:41,750 --> 00:37:46,744
世上只有妈妈好

733
00:37:46,750 --> 00:37:55,624
他妈的孩子像亏佬，妈的孩子…

734
00:38:08,333 --> 00:38:11,655
如真，如假

735
00:38:14,000 --> 00:38:19,120
如可分身饰演自己

736
00:38:24,375 --> 00:38:25,615
查理

737
00:38:25,625 --> 00:38:28,037
有，有

738
00:38:40,875 --> 00:38:42,490
阿炳，阿炳

739
00:38:42,500 --> 00:38:43,956
村长

740
00:38:44,833 --> 00:38:46,323
村长

741
00:39:29,458 --> 00:39:30,823
余小姐

742
00:39:32,542 --> 00:39:35,579
真呀，真

743
00:39:36,958 --> 00:39:38,619
喂，真

744
00:39:39,375 --> 00:39:40,455
真真

745
00:39:41,667 --> 00:39:42,497
真

746
00:39:43,250 --> 00:39:44,239
真真

747
00:39:45,792 --> 00:39:47,703
喂，这个混蛋，你在这里做什么？

748
00:39:47,958 --> 00:39:49,494
我在这干嘛？

749
00:39:49,500 --> 00:39:51,866
我问你还在这做什么才对

750
00:39:51,875 --> 00:39:53,160
我？

751
00:39:53,167 --> 00:39:54,327
你看

752
00:39:54,333 --> 00:39:56,699
昨天晚上我和真真终身抱憾了

753
00:39:56,708 --> 00:39:58,824
你这些叫终身抱憾

754
00:39:58,833 --> 00:40:00,539
那我这些叫什么？

755
00:40:02,125 --> 00:40:03,285
你吓不倒我的！

756
00:40:03,292 --> 00:40:05,078
你看看，围着这里亲的

757
00:40:05,083 --> 00:40:07,950
一直这样亲下去，到这里

758
00:40:07,958 --> 00:40:09,368
你要不要看？

759
00:40:09,375 --> 00:40:11,616
来吧，不用害羞，给你看吧，来吧

760
00:40:11,625 --> 00:40:12,910
好啊，看看，我就看看

761
00:40:13,208 --> 00:40:14,414
干吗？  你不给我看

762
00:40:16,458 --> 00:40:17,823
你不要推我

763
00:40:17,833 --> 00:40:18,948
我推你就推你

764
00:40:19,458 --> 00:40:20,664
铁虎把握这个机会

765
00:40:20,667 --> 00:40:22,328
一骑，已骑在拳霸的身上

766
00:40:22,333 --> 00:40:25,700
这个姿势最适合左右开弓，打对方头部

767
00:40:25,875 --> 00:40:27,115
只要被打中一拳

768
00:40:27,125 --> 00:40:29,537
对方肯定晕头转向，任你为所欲为

769
00:40:29,542 --> 00:40:31,578
拳霸那有这么容易认输

770
00:40:31,583 --> 00:40:33,073
在这么恶劣的环境之下

771
00:40:33,083 --> 00:40:36,280
想翻身一定就是用强大的腰力弹开对手

772
00:40:37,708 --> 00:40:39,744
没错了，拳霸反守为攻

773
00:40:39,750 --> 00:40:41,581
他使用脚锁中的绝招「闻正私处」

774
00:40:41,583 --> 00:40:42,914
将对方头部锁住

775
00:40:42,917 --> 00:40:44,578
这一招真毒辣

776
00:40:44,583 --> 00:40:47,074
再锁下去，铁虎很容易缺氧

777
00:40:47,083 --> 00:40:49,825
就算不缺氧，也很大机会会焗死

778
00:40:49,833 --> 00:40:51,949
如要破解这个脚锁「闻正私处」

779
00:40:51,958 --> 00:40:54,199
一定要用臂力在中间将脚锁打开

780
00:40:54,208 --> 00:40:56,073
然后连消带打一个转身

781
00:40:56,083 --> 00:40:58,540
用臀部完全覆盖对方的呼吸系统

782
00:40:58,667 --> 00:40:59,702
再趁这个机会

783
00:40:59,708 --> 00:41:01,869
反方向锁着对方膝盖的关节

784
00:41:02,125 --> 00:41:04,616
这招厉害就厉害了，不过亦有缺点

785
00:41:04,625 --> 00:41:05,956
如果对方使出，对了没错

786
00:41:05,958 --> 00:41:07,414
「人肉铁钻」的话

787
00:41:09,083 --> 00:41:10,368
都挺爽的

788
00:41:10,375 --> 00:41:12,457
转眼间，赛事已进入白热化阶段

789
00:41:12,458 --> 00:41:14,244
颈是人体最脆弱的地方

790
00:41:14,250 --> 00:41:16,662
假如被对手锁颈的话，那就输定了

791
00:41:16,667 --> 00:41:19,329
所以应该将头与头之间的距离拉近

792
00:41:19,333 --> 00:41:22,655
不要被对方发力，有多近拉多近

793
00:41:22,667 --> 00:41:23,998
又不用这么近

794
00:41:25,000 --> 00:41:26,581
不要呀，不要呀，不要

795
00:41:26,583 --> 00:41:29,780
打篮球有垃圾时间，综合格斗技也有的

796
00:41:29,792 --> 00:41:32,829
就像现在这样双方锁着对方的大姆指关节

797
00:41:32,833 --> 00:41:35,905
这样锁着各不相让的话，会很浪费时间

798
00:41:35,917 --> 00:41:39,239
世界纪录是锁了二十个小时，很闷的

799
00:41:39,250 --> 00:41:41,787
喂喂喂，不如就这样算了吧

800
00:41:41,792 --> 00:41:43,157
算？怎么算？

801
00:41:43,167 --> 00:41:45,704
我们数一二三一同放手好吗

802
00:41:45,708 --> 00:41:48,040
一，二

803
00:41:54,042 --> 00:41:55,373
医生

804
00:41:55,375 --> 00:41:57,366
好，搞那个吧

805
00:42:10,417 --> 00:42:11,281
我怀孕了

806
00:42:13,958 --> 00:42:15,368
医生可以为我证明

807
00:42:15,375 --> 00:42:18,082
是的，我可以证明余真小姐是怀孕了

808
00:42:18,458 --> 00:42:19,618
古医生 你坐，你坐

809
00:42:19,625 --> 00:42:21,365
你们中医信不过啊

810
00:42:21,375 --> 00:42:23,491
你怎么会不信中医啊？

811
00:42:23,500 --> 00:42:26,742
虽然我的造型像中医，其实是西医

812
00:42:26,750 --> 00:42:28,240
香港大学医学院毕业

813
00:42:28,250 --> 00:42:30,081
孙中山先生是我的同学

814
00:42:31,625 --> 00:42:32,785
那么恭喜你啊

815
00:42:33,375 --> 00:42:35,115
不要怪我多事问一个问题

816
00:42:35,833 --> 00:42:38,449
宝宝的爸爸我们认识吗？

817
00:42:39,125 --> 00:42:41,036
对啊，我们见过吗？

818
00:42:43,833 --> 00:42:46,745
孩子的父亲，是你

819
00:42:47,625 --> 00:42:49,616
也有可能是你

820
00:42:52,125 --> 00:42:53,990
等我把这个孩子生下来

821
00:42:54,292 --> 00:42:55,372
就带他去验DNA

822
00:42:55,375 --> 00:42:58,572
到时候你们就知道谁是孩子的父亲了

823
00:42:59,333 --> 00:43:00,448
荒谬

824
00:43:00,458 --> 00:43:02,574
我堂堂一个村长处事像你这么拖泥带水吗

825
00:43:02,583 --> 00:43:04,414
来，立即验

826
00:43:04,417 --> 00:43:05,907
验到是我的，我就照顾你

827
00:43:05,917 --> 00:43:07,282
验到是他的，我就不理

828
00:43:07,292 --> 00:43:08,452
来，快点

829
00:43:08,667 --> 00:43:10,783
你俩有没有搞错啊？

830
00:43:10,792 --> 00:43:13,454
人家孕妇现在的荷尔蒙很混乱

831
00:43:13,458 --> 00:43:16,450
你要她验这个验那个来斗不负责任

832
00:43:16,458 --> 00:43:18,073
你们是男人吗？

833
00:43:18,083 --> 00:43:19,869
没错，你是男人吗

834
00:43:20,250 --> 00:43:22,332
不负责任，不要验

835
00:43:22,583 --> 00:43:24,073
就算验到是他的

836
00:43:24,083 --> 00:43:26,244
都给我，我全要

837
00:43:26,250 --> 00:43:28,206
不要听他的，我不是这个意思

838
00:43:28,208 --> 00:43:30,290
你即管用我的百达通黑卡

839
00:43:30,292 --> 00:43:32,157
有多少补品就买多少补品

840
00:43:32,167 --> 00:43:34,123
闷的话，买游戏机玩都行

841
00:43:34,125 --> 00:43:35,114
对了

842
00:43:35,125 --> 00:43:36,581
花钱的东西，用他的卡吧

843
00:43:36,583 --> 00:43:39,120
但是钱不是万能，买不了关怀

844
00:43:40,333 --> 00:43:41,914
晚上睡不了

845
00:43:41,917 --> 00:43:43,202
就找我

846
00:43:43,208 --> 00:43:45,244
我是一个负责任的男人

847
00:43:52,542 --> 00:43:54,032
如果这张黑卡不够用

848
00:43:54,042 --> 00:43:57,614
拿我这手表去押，一定行

849
00:43:57,625 --> 00:43:59,365
我都是一个负责任的男人

850
00:44:00,333 --> 00:44:02,540
如果你晚上找他，记得也要找我

851
00:44:06,375 --> 00:44:08,161
哎呀，对不起啊乌冬

852
00:44:08,167 --> 00:44:10,123
是我迟了出手制止

853
00:44:10,125 --> 00:44:12,411
连累你给阿一搞大了肚子，不要紧

854
00:44:12,542 --> 00:44:13,622
你多吃点，你多吃点

855
00:44:13,625 --> 00:44:15,035
到时候多生几只小狗

856
00:44:15,292 --> 00:44:18,034
我和查理哥就发达了

857
00:44:25,792 --> 00:44:28,408
护照，我的护照呢

858
00:44:28,417 --> 00:44:33,582
护照，护照，护照，我的护照

859
00:44:33,583 --> 00:44:35,119
喂喂喂，查理哥，什么事啊？

860
00:44:35,125 --> 00:44:36,661
有十万八万吗，借我用

861
00:44:36,667 --> 00:44:38,828
我哪有这么多啊，查理哥，你冷静点

862
00:44:38,833 --> 00:44:40,949
你不是吧，连十万八万都没有

863
00:44:40,958 --> 00:44:41,913
你怎算是个成年人？

864
00:44:41,917 --> 00:44:43,999
对不起，但是你冷静点吧

865
00:44:44,000 --> 00:44:46,958
发生什么事你先告诉我吧？

866
00:44:47,583 --> 00:44:48,743
冷静

867
00:44:51,250 --> 00:44:52,535
阿真怀孕了

868
00:44:54,583 --> 00:44:58,075
宝宝可能是我的，也可能是冯仁炳的

869
00:45:00,125 --> 00:45:02,958
我处理不了这件事呀

870
00:45:02,958 --> 00:45:05,290
不行，帮我找护照，我要避一下风头

871
00:45:05,292 --> 00:45:07,999
找护照 冷静点

872
00:45:08,000 --> 00:45:09,536
你冷静点呀

873
00:45:09,542 --> 00:45:10,873
你看你现在的样子

874
00:45:10,875 --> 00:45:14,117
现在余真怀孕而已，有什么大不了

875
00:45:16,500 --> 00:45:18,741
但是我没准备好做爸爸啊

876
00:45:18,750 --> 00:45:20,786
那你就希望自己可以准备好

877
00:45:21,167 --> 00:45:22,373
你这辈子的梦想是什么？

878
00:45:22,375 --> 00:45:24,081
泡富婆吃软饭

879
00:45:24,083 --> 00:45:26,665
现在你泡到富婆了，梦想达到一半了

880
00:45:27,625 --> 00:45:29,331
能吃软饭

881
00:45:29,333 --> 00:45:31,198
不代表能做爸爸啊

882
00:45:31,208 --> 00:45:33,415
随便它吧，最重要是什么

883
00:45:33,417 --> 00:45:35,624
过几个月，宝宝出生了

884
00:45:35,625 --> 00:45:36,910
如果能证明真是你的

885
00:45:36,917 --> 00:45:39,203
那就夫凭子贵，冲上云宵

886
00:45:42,042 --> 00:45:43,703
但是那么宝宝是冯仁炳的又如何？

887
00:45:43,708 --> 00:45:45,369
敲诈她一笔分手费

888
00:45:46,333 --> 00:45:48,574
如果是你的，你又赢钱

889
00:45:48,583 --> 00:45:50,198
如果不是你的，你又赢钱

890
00:45:50,208 --> 00:45:52,369
这次你是坐着等收钱啊

891
00:45:55,750 --> 00:45:57,115
你怎么可以这么冷静的

892
00:45:58,458 --> 00:46:00,449
你可以分析得这么到位的

893
00:46:01,250 --> 00:46:02,831
你今日吃了什么？

894
00:46:02,833 --> 00:46:04,369
我都是跟你学习的

895
00:46:04,375 --> 00:46:05,740
但是你干嘛打我呢？

896
00:46:06,042 --> 00:46:07,953
是的，我干嘛打你呢？

897
00:46:08,042 --> 00:46:09,202
是啊

898
00:46:09,625 --> 00:46:11,411
因为你弄大了乌冬的肚子

899
00:46:11,417 --> 00:46:12,782
不要以为我听不见

900
00:46:12,792 --> 00:46:14,532
不是我弄大的

901
00:46:14,542 --> 00:46:17,614
阿一搞大的，纯种西摩

902
00:46:17,625 --> 00:46:20,207
只要诞下小狗，我们又赚几十万了

903
00:46:22,458 --> 00:46:23,743
你干吗又打我呀？

904
00:46:25,083 --> 00:46:27,074
不枉我教育你一场

905
00:46:28,000 --> 00:46:30,366
聪明，搞定

906
00:46:30,542 --> 00:46:31,622
搞定

907
00:46:31,625 --> 00:46:32,410
好

908
00:46:32,833 --> 00:46:35,040
谢谢查理哥

909
00:46:38,083 --> 00:46:40,244
你近来做什么

910
00:46:40,250 --> 00:46:43,617
拼命的买花胶虫草这些东西

911
00:46:43,625 --> 00:46:46,992
自己玩多了，玩到肾亏了吗？

912
00:46:53,667 --> 00:46:55,953
干吗这么愁，死了爸爸吗？

913
00:46:57,167 --> 00:47:00,330
你的男人死了很久了，当然不是死爸爸

914
00:47:00,333 --> 00:47:01,618
这次当爸爸

915
00:47:02,708 --> 00:47:04,369
当爸爸？

916
00:47:04,500 --> 00:47:06,866
哗，那我岂不是当奶奶了

917
00:47:07,042 --> 00:47:09,124
咦，你有女朋友的吗？

918
00:47:12,458 --> 00:47:14,540
明白明白，我很开通的

919
00:47:14,542 --> 00:47:16,874
那些什么一夜情是吗

920
00:47:16,875 --> 00:47:18,786
有什么大不了

921
00:47:18,792 --> 00:47:22,535
现在生了宝宝才交往更流行

922
00:47:22,667 --> 00:47:25,329
不管了，我有孙抱

923
00:47:25,333 --> 00:47:27,665
订卡拉ok房唱一个晚上庆祝一下

924
00:47:27,667 --> 00:47:30,079
老妈，先不要订，不要订

925
00:47:31,542 --> 00:47:34,454
其实这次技术上出了些问题

926
00:47:35,500 --> 00:47:39,789
那宝宝有一半机会不是我的

927
00:47:42,458 --> 00:47:45,325
你这么混账的，你认识了什么人呀？

928
00:47:45,333 --> 00:47:47,039
我现在就想平心静气跟你说

929
00:47:47,042 --> 00:47:48,498
你发什么脾气！

930
00:47:50,292 --> 00:47:54,080
冷静

931
00:47:54,083 --> 00:47:57,746
你是不是很喜欢那女生？

932
00:47:58,667 --> 00:48:00,157
都挺欣赏她的

933
00:48:02,208 --> 00:48:05,280
接下来这条比较难回答

934
00:48:06,375 --> 00:48:10,243
如果宝宝是你的，我相信你一定会负责任

935
00:48:10,250 --> 00:48:13,492
如果宝宝不是你的，你不需要负责任

936
00:48:13,500 --> 00:48:15,161
但是如果宝宝不是你的

937
00:48:15,167 --> 00:48:17,579
经手那个混蛋又不负责任

938
00:48:17,583 --> 00:48:21,496
你还欣赏这女生吗？

939
00:48:23,083 --> 00:48:26,371
老妈，你这条问题不是比较难回答

940
00:48:26,375 --> 00:48:27,706
是非常难回答

941
00:48:28,667 --> 00:48:33,081
今天晚上你把枕头垫高，狠狠的想清楚吧

942
00:48:57,167 --> 00:48:58,031
早安，老妈

943
00:48:59,375 --> 00:49:00,911
整个晚上没睡觉呀

944
00:49:00,917 --> 00:49:03,033
我想了一晚上，有结果了

945
00:49:03,042 --> 00:49:04,498
什么结果？

946
00:49:04,500 --> 00:49:05,990
欣不欣赏她晚一点再说

947
00:49:06,000 --> 00:49:07,115
但是男人大丈夫

948
00:49:07,125 --> 00:49:10,037
怎样都是先照顾好孕妇，你说对不对？

949
00:49:10,042 --> 00:49:11,077
一定对

950
00:49:16,750 --> 00:49:18,206
谢谢老妈

951
00:49:19,875 --> 00:49:22,582
臭小子终于学做男人大丈夫

952
00:49:23,250 --> 00:49:24,581
祖先有灵了

953
00:49:24,583 --> 00:49:27,325
我马上给他的亲爹亲妈烧柱香

954
00:49:34,250 --> 00:49:36,286
姐姐，是你叫车的吗？

955
00:49:36,292 --> 00:49:38,374
是的，我去中环

956
00:49:38,375 --> 00:49:39,911
按表加五百

957
00:49:39,917 --> 00:49:42,659
这么贵呀，那我不坐了，谢谢

958
00:49:45,000 --> 00:49:46,831
不坐都要给五百

959
00:49:47,625 --> 00:49:48,535
喂

960
00:49:49,958 --> 00:49:50,993
给五百

961
00:49:51,333 --> 00:49:52,368
神经病

962
00:49:53,292 --> 00:49:54,202
给五百

963
00:49:57,333 --> 00:49:58,539
查理

964
00:50:00,417 --> 00:50:01,623
干吗欺负女人？

965
00:50:01,625 --> 00:50:02,831
你是谁？

966
00:50:03,458 --> 00:50:05,244
我刚才买早餐的时候

967
00:50:05,833 --> 00:50:08,540
我最喜欢的糯米鸡卖光了

968
00:50:09,042 --> 00:50:12,079
我好不服气，你不要冲撞我

969
00:50:12,750 --> 00:50:15,207
不要迫我出手，拿着

970
00:50:15,667 --> 00:50:19,580
我猜你最喜欢吃的糯米鸡给我买了

971
00:50:19,875 --> 00:50:21,490
我还吃了一半

972
00:50:21,500 --> 00:50:22,660
是吗？

973
00:50:22,667 --> 00:50:23,827
那就接着吃掉它吧

974
00:50:23,833 --> 00:50:25,073
你好不服气吧

975
00:50:25,375 --> 00:50:26,455
如果弄伤我这些伤健人士

976
00:50:26,458 --> 00:50:28,369
你罪加一等，喂喂喂

977
00:50:28,375 --> 00:50:31,947
还走，走吧，走吧

978
00:50:34,542 --> 00:50:37,249
我已经算是无赖，你还比我更无赖

979
00:50:38,833 --> 00:50:39,572
佛山…

980
00:50:39,583 --> 00:50:43,121
嗨，无影脚

981
00:50:43,500 --> 00:50:44,285
哎呀

982
00:50:52,375 --> 00:50:55,082
好痛，好痛，我鼻子有事吗？

983
00:50:55,750 --> 00:50:57,490
咦，你有听见「哔哔」声吗？

984
00:50:57,500 --> 00:51:00,242
皮外伤，皮外伤，没事，放心吧

985
00:51:00,333 --> 00:51:02,198
来来来

986
00:51:02,542 --> 00:51:04,703
不对啊，我认识查理这么久，未见他笑过

987
00:51:04,708 --> 00:51:06,198
你看他笑得

988
00:51:07,833 --> 00:51:08,868
顶

989
00:51:09,667 --> 00:51:11,908
乖乖乖，吹一下，吹一下

990
00:51:12,167 --> 00:51:14,203
真真，我想得很清楚了

991
00:51:14,917 --> 00:51:17,624
为了方便我照顾你，你就搬来我家住吧

992
00:51:17,625 --> 00:51:18,910
你走开吧

993
00:51:19,417 --> 00:51:21,248
还是我搬过来，我照顾她

994
00:51:21,250 --> 00:51:23,741
你看你现在什么样子，歪鼻子毁容

995
00:51:23,750 --> 00:51:24,705
我鼻子歪了吗？

996
00:51:24,708 --> 00:51:26,164
不要吵了！

997
00:51:26,750 --> 00:51:28,160
我喜欢一个人住

998
00:51:28,167 --> 00:51:30,078
如果有什么事的话我会找你们的

999
00:51:30,083 --> 00:51:31,368
不是，我鼻子歪

1000
00:51:34,625 --> 00:51:36,707
阿炳，你喜欢我吗？

1001
00:51:37,083 --> 00:51:38,289
喜欢

1002
00:51:38,292 --> 00:51:39,498
大声点

1003
00:51:39,500 --> 00:51:40,580
喜欢

1004
00:51:40,583 --> 00:51:41,789
再大声点

1005
00:51:41,792 --> 00:51:42,907
喜欢

1006
00:51:44,542 --> 00:51:50,583
顶，你这个混蛋，他妈的，好痛

1007
00:51:50,583 --> 00:51:51,663
停，停，拍照

1008
00:51:51,667 --> 00:51:53,157
不拍了，不拍，我好痛啊

1009
00:51:53,167 --> 00:51:55,579
还有声音吗？

1010
00:51:55,583 --> 00:51:57,574
对啊，没了「哔哔」声啊

1011
00:51:57,750 --> 00:51:59,456
谢谢你啊真真

1012
00:51:59,458 --> 00:52:00,664
不客气

1013
00:52:02,208 --> 00:52:03,243
你干吗？

1014
00:52:03,375 --> 00:52:04,865
查理 听见了吗

1015
00:52:08,792 --> 00:52:11,249
刚刚司机追你的时候

1016
00:52:11,250 --> 00:52:13,332
你的手脚怎么变得麻利了

1017
00:52:13,333 --> 00:52:16,200
还跑得那么快，你说清楚

1018
00:52:16,208 --> 00:52:18,324
有吗，我自己都没发现

1019
00:52:19,042 --> 00:52:20,748
对啊

1020
00:52:20,750 --> 00:52:22,286
怎么会这样的

1021
00:52:23,042 --> 00:52:26,114
一定是神迹，一定是我诚心

1022
00:52:26,125 --> 00:52:30,038
每次祈祷都要吃饭，感动上帝

1023
00:52:30,750 --> 00:52:32,490
祂帮我手脚开光

1024
00:52:33,000 --> 00:52:37,448
哈利路亚，哈利路亚

1025
00:52:39,708 --> 00:52:41,699
我痊愈了

1026
00:52:41,708 --> 00:52:43,039
你真是荒谬

1027
00:52:43,042 --> 00:52:44,031
你不老老实实讲清楚

1028
00:52:44,042 --> 00:52:45,578
我立刻报警说你行骗

1029
00:52:45,583 --> 00:52:46,868
你快点解释清楚

1030
00:52:46,875 --> 00:52:48,035
我讲

1031
00:52:48,042 --> 00:52:49,122
其实

1032
00:52:49,125 --> 00:52:50,865
其实是关二哥帮我开光

1033
00:52:51,083 --> 00:52:52,573
你这个混蛋

1034
00:52:54,125 --> 00:52:55,831
再给他一次机会

1035
00:52:58,167 --> 00:52:59,373
松手，好吧

1036
00:52:59,375 --> 00:53:01,411
有事慢慢讲，不要动手动脚

1037
00:53:05,667 --> 00:53:10,036
当飞机师是我小时候的梦想

1038
00:53:16,708 --> 00:53:17,914
送给你的

1039
00:53:17,917 --> 00:53:18,906
谢谢

1040
00:53:22,250 --> 00:53:25,083
但是我运气不好，因为发烧

1041
00:53:25,333 --> 00:53:27,870
令到一根手指有痉挛

1042
00:53:27,875 --> 00:53:29,615
令我当不了机师

1043
00:53:29,625 --> 00:53:32,082
既然上天要给我这个病

1044
00:53:32,083 --> 00:53:34,620
所以我决定和这个病做朋友

1045
00:53:34,625 --> 00:53:35,455
利用它

1046
00:53:35,458 --> 00:53:36,823
要得到所有便宜

1047
00:53:36,833 --> 00:53:38,744
骗尽所有人的同情

1048
00:53:42,375 --> 00:53:44,036
你感动吗？

1049
00:53:44,958 --> 00:53:48,030
一点也不感动，你呢？

1050
00:53:58,000 --> 00:53:59,536
对不起

1051
00:53:59,542 --> 00:54:01,874
我荷尔蒙失调

1052
00:54:01,875 --> 00:54:03,991
控制不住自己

1053
00:54:05,958 --> 00:54:07,118
查理

1054
00:54:08,625 --> 00:54:11,082
其实我很同情你的

1055
00:54:11,417 --> 00:54:13,658
你看你说谎说了那么多年

1056
00:54:14,250 --> 00:54:16,787
一定很辛苦，心里很难受吧

1057
00:54:17,583 --> 00:54:20,746
没办法，不骗也骗了这么多年

1058
00:54:20,750 --> 00:54:24,447
但是这条村的村民太过单纯

1059
00:54:24,917 --> 00:54:26,532
所以不可以让他们知道这件事

1060
00:54:26,625 --> 00:54:27,535
如果不是

1061
00:54:27,542 --> 00:54:29,783
他们很容易放弃自己，知道吗？

1062
00:54:30,292 --> 00:54:32,032
村民在想什么你懂个屁

1063
00:54:32,042 --> 00:54:34,408
你又不是村长，你先顾好自己吧

1064
00:54:36,167 --> 00:54:37,122
阿炳

1065
00:54:37,125 --> 00:54:40,572
村长

1066
00:54:42,625 --> 00:54:44,536
你能不能帮帮查理呀？

1067
00:54:45,042 --> 00:54:48,785
帮是可以的，不过你俩要照我的话做

1068
00:54:48,917 --> 00:54:49,747
什么呀

1069
00:54:49,833 --> 00:54:53,655
各位乡亲，经过我们的明查暗访

1070
00:54:53,667 --> 00:54:56,079
终于我重金礼聘到一位

1071
00:54:56,083 --> 00:54:58,665
针灸加气功的高手

1072
00:54:58,667 --> 00:55:01,204
江湖人称「动漫Maggie」的

1073
00:55:01,208 --> 00:55:03,699
余真大师

1074
00:55:11,125 --> 00:55:14,447
大师她有一套针灸加气功的神功

1075
00:55:14,458 --> 00:55:16,540
可以治好查理的痉挛病

1076
00:55:19,375 --> 00:55:22,367
反正是假的，不用针灸这么刺激的

1077
00:55:22,375 --> 00:55:24,491
说她会法术，变

1078
00:55:24,500 --> 00:55:27,537
那我站起来，那就交代了村民

1079
00:55:27,958 --> 00:55:28,743
荒谬

1080
00:55:28,750 --> 00:55:29,830
你以为美少女战士吗？

1081
00:55:29,833 --> 00:55:31,118
一点说服力也没有

1082
00:55:31,667 --> 00:55:32,702
查理他信心不足

1083
00:55:32,708 --> 00:55:34,323
大家给他一点鼓励

1084
00:55:38,583 --> 00:55:39,493
来吧

1085
00:55:58,542 --> 00:56:01,124
针灸怎么会针到流血

1086
00:56:01,125 --> 00:56:02,365
这个大师可行的吗？

1087
00:56:03,542 --> 00:56:05,032
大师她说了

1088
00:56:05,042 --> 00:56:07,624
通者就不痛，痛者就不通

1089
00:56:07,625 --> 00:56:10,037
查理流出来的这些全是瘀血

1090
00:56:10,042 --> 00:56:12,454
流光了血脉就通，谢谢大家

1091
00:56:13,083 --> 00:56:15,199
查理平常拐得最厉害就是脚

1092
00:56:15,208 --> 00:56:17,290
脚底的涌泉穴那针一定少不了

1093
00:56:18,417 --> 00:56:20,032
不要针脚底

1094
00:56:20,042 --> 00:56:21,248
我康复了，你看

1095
00:56:26,250 --> 00:56:28,332
你都骗了我们村民这么久了

1096
00:56:28,333 --> 00:56:30,540
这个就当补赏吧

1097
00:56:30,542 --> 00:56:36,663
涌泉穴…

1098
00:56:36,667 --> 00:56:38,623
你别跟他们疯吧

1099
00:56:38,625 --> 00:56:40,661
你别以为你怀孕了我就不敢打你呀

1100
00:56:41,833 --> 00:56:42,788
很快就过去了

1101
00:56:43,250 --> 00:56:52,079
涌泉穴…

1102
00:57:03,167 --> 00:57:04,407
康复了

1103
00:57:04,417 --> 00:57:05,657
一定康复了

1104
00:57:06,625 --> 00:57:07,990
好极了

1105
00:57:11,667 --> 00:57:13,532
查理，三婶好替你开心

1106
00:57:13,542 --> 00:57:14,952
请你吃个糯米鸡

1107
00:57:15,792 --> 00:57:16,497
算了吧

1108
00:57:16,500 --> 00:57:19,162
你不用再可怜我了三婶，我康复了

1109
00:57:19,167 --> 00:57:22,659
你把你的同情心给其他有需要的人吧

1110
00:57:22,667 --> 00:57:25,079
你有没有病我都好疼你的

1111
00:57:25,083 --> 00:57:26,789
我不是同情你

1112
00:57:26,792 --> 00:57:29,329
因为你有爱心

1113
00:57:29,333 --> 00:57:31,119
经常照顾那些流浪狗

1114
00:57:31,500 --> 00:57:33,866
拿去吧

1115
00:57:35,417 --> 00:57:36,623
拿去吧

1116
00:57:38,000 --> 00:57:39,240
谢谢啊三婶

1117
00:57:41,208 --> 00:57:42,288
对了

1118
00:57:43,042 --> 00:57:45,454
三婶家里的水管都塞了很久了

1119
00:57:45,458 --> 00:57:47,824
不如你帮她通一通，当做运动吧，好吗？

1120
00:57:47,833 --> 00:57:48,618
好

1121
00:57:48,708 --> 00:57:52,246
三婶呀，水管塞了这么久通了也没用

1122
00:57:52,625 --> 00:57:53,956
换条新的吧

1123
00:57:53,958 --> 00:57:54,947
更好

1124
00:57:55,542 --> 00:57:56,622
换水管吧

1125
00:57:57,792 --> 00:57:59,373
喂…

1126
00:58:01,000 --> 00:58:02,831
你的脚好了，不用再拐了

1127
00:58:03,833 --> 00:58:06,290
哦，不好意思各位村民

1128
00:58:06,583 --> 00:58:09,040
我拐了一辈子给人看

1129
00:58:09,042 --> 00:58:12,159
有时候不是说改就改掉的

1130
00:58:12,333 --> 00:58:13,948
不过会改的

1131
00:58:13,958 --> 00:58:15,164
会改的

1132
00:58:15,875 --> 00:58:16,830
谢谢了

1133
00:58:18,542 --> 00:58:20,703
好了，去通水管了

1134
00:58:22,417 --> 00:58:24,408
走了走了，换新水管

1135
00:58:27,750 --> 00:58:29,832
放松点，吸气

1136
00:58:30,708 --> 00:58:31,868
推

1137
00:58:32,667 --> 00:58:33,873
用力，推

1138
00:58:34,042 --> 00:58:35,157
出来吧

1139
00:58:35,167 --> 00:58:36,077
吸气

1140
00:58:41,208 --> 00:58:43,039
你很紧张呀？

1141
00:58:43,042 --> 00:58:44,327
不是，我人有三急

1142
00:58:44,333 --> 00:58:45,823
不知道厕所在哪

1143
00:58:46,292 --> 00:58:47,873
厕所不是在那吗？

1144
00:58:47,875 --> 00:58:48,660
谢谢

1145
00:58:48,667 --> 00:58:49,827
出生了

1146
00:58:50,000 --> 00:58:51,035
他妈的

1147
00:58:51,625 --> 00:58:52,239
来

1148
00:58:52,250 --> 00:58:53,080
你不上厕所了？

1149
00:58:53,083 --> 00:58:54,072
留待迟些再去吧

1150
00:58:57,208 --> 00:58:59,164
你看…三只 好可爱啊

1151
00:58:59,667 --> 00:59:00,998
你看那一只

1152
00:59:01,542 --> 00:59:03,248
这样的啊 怎么这么小呀？

1153
00:59:04,875 --> 00:59:05,455
就是这样的

1154
00:59:10,125 --> 00:59:10,739
你…

1155
00:59:10,750 --> 00:59:11,956
坐坐吧，坐一会

1156
00:59:15,042 --> 00:59:17,249
你没事吧？

1157
00:59:18,458 --> 00:59:19,322
没事吧？

1158
00:59:19,500 --> 00:59:20,831
好像是宝宝在踢的啊

1159
00:59:21,250 --> 00:59:22,080
他

1160
00:59:23,583 --> 00:59:25,414
这么有趣，摸摸吧

1161
00:59:27,000 --> 00:59:27,864
是不是呀？

1162
00:59:28,958 --> 00:59:29,868
是啊

1163
00:59:29,875 --> 00:59:30,830
有啊

1164
00:59:30,833 --> 00:59:31,788
真的会动的

1165
00:59:31,792 --> 00:59:32,827
叫爸爸

1166
00:59:32,833 --> 00:59:33,913
爸你个死人头

1167
00:59:34,750 --> 00:59:36,991
这边才是爸爸，这边才是爸爸

1168
00:59:39,750 --> 00:59:41,286
挺大力的

1169
00:59:42,750 --> 00:59:44,957
怎样啊狗王标，生了

1170
00:59:44,958 --> 00:59:46,414
卖了钱分一人一半

1171
00:59:47,500 --> 00:59:50,116
可不可以不要把这些狗宝宝给卖了啊？

1172
00:59:50,125 --> 00:59:52,036
不然牠妈妈会很伤心的

1173
00:59:56,250 --> 00:59:57,581
可是三只都是黑色的

1174
00:59:58,583 --> 00:59:59,993
说不定牠走去村口

1175
01:00:00,000 --> 01:00:02,912
被村口那只流浪狗给上了啊

1176
01:00:04,917 --> 01:00:06,327
动物世界的感情生活

1177
01:00:06,333 --> 01:00:08,289
我们真是控制不了啊

1178
01:00:09,583 --> 01:00:10,993
那下次吧，不好意思

1179
01:00:11,000 --> 01:00:11,989
随他吧

1180
01:00:13,375 --> 01:00:16,242
查理哥，你不是吧？

1181
01:00:16,250 --> 01:00:19,868
你知道狗王标说这只狗现在升价八万多

1182
01:00:19,875 --> 01:00:22,787
这里三只有二十多万

1183
01:00:22,792 --> 01:00:24,703
你泡妞泡傻了吗？

1184
01:00:25,250 --> 01:00:27,366
你现在认真的还是说笑的，什么态度？

1185
01:00:27,375 --> 01:00:29,457
这里什么地方？你说话不分尊卑

1186
01:00:29,458 --> 01:00:31,824
你看你像什么

1187
01:00:31,833 --> 01:00:34,119
烂泥扶不上柄

1188
01:00:34,125 --> 01:00:35,285
你为了这女人

1189
01:00:35,292 --> 01:00:36,782
整个人都退步了

1190
01:00:36,792 --> 01:00:38,453
你说什么呀？

1191
01:00:38,458 --> 01:00:40,744
我告诉你，陈太李太郭太

1192
01:00:40,750 --> 01:00:42,490
三个都争着说要嫁给我

1193
01:00:42,500 --> 01:00:43,910
我都不知道选那一个？

1194
01:00:45,667 --> 01:00:47,077
白吃白不吃

1195
01:00:47,625 --> 01:00:49,035
我决定三个通吃

1196
01:00:49,292 --> 01:00:52,159
你，抱住这些小狗过下辈子吧

1197
01:00:56,583 --> 01:00:58,949
你以后不是我老大

1198
01:01:00,417 --> 01:01:02,749
你这个混蛋，你真是以为我痉挛的吗

1199
01:01:03,167 --> 01:01:04,873
白吃白不吃？

1200
01:01:05,542 --> 01:01:08,033
臭小子

1201
01:01:08,500 --> 01:01:11,867
那么大胆，一人踏三船

1202
01:01:11,875 --> 01:01:12,705
是啊

1203
01:01:12,708 --> 01:01:16,371
看你样子笨笨实实，原来也不是真心的

1204
01:01:17,000 --> 01:01:18,240
该死呀

1205
01:01:18,542 --> 01:01:19,998
查理哥，救命呀

1206
01:01:20,000 --> 01:01:22,412
继续，不要给我面子

1207
01:01:23,500 --> 01:01:30,451
你个混蛋·…

1208
01:01:30,458 --> 01:01:31,493
谢谢

1209
01:01:34,833 --> 01:01:37,745
为何我们三人看着人被人打都那么开心？

1210
01:01:39,000 --> 01:01:41,082
可能因为我们三个都是坏人

1211
01:01:57,500 --> 01:01:58,285
拿去

1212
01:02:00,875 --> 01:02:03,912
圣诞快乐…

1213
01:02:08,417 --> 01:02:09,406
看你喜欢吗？

1214
01:02:16,542 --> 01:02:17,327
圣诞快乐…

1215
01:02:20,000 --> 01:02:21,080
这个是你的

1216
01:02:34,583 --> 01:02:35,413
机长

1217
01:02:35,750 --> 01:02:36,580
机长

1218
01:02:36,583 --> 01:02:37,413
谢谢

1219
01:02:37,708 --> 01:02:39,494
圣诞快乐

1220
01:02:41,292 --> 01:02:42,122
谢谢

1221
01:02:42,125 --> 01:02:43,535
来来来，采青

1222
01:02:44,250 --> 01:02:46,832
拿个金币，金玉满堂

1223
01:02:46,833 --> 01:02:47,788
谢谢

1224
01:02:50,000 --> 01:02:51,365
你没事吧？

1225
01:02:53,750 --> 01:02:55,456
宝宝跟我拜年了

1226
01:02:58,250 --> 01:03:00,286
在这个简单而隆重的签约仪式之后

1227
01:03:00,292 --> 01:03:03,580
100M极速光纤宽频计划，正式展开

1228
01:03:05,750 --> 01:03:07,536
好，礼成…

1229
01:03:08,042 --> 01:03:11,990
合作愉快…谢谢了

1230
01:03:21,875 --> 01:03:23,240
干什么，许愿吗，许什么愿？

1231
01:03:23,833 --> 01:03:26,575
愿望说出来就不灵验了！不能告诉你

1232
01:03:28,417 --> 01:03:31,739
不过这个愿望是跟你、我、还有查理

1233
01:03:32,833 --> 01:03:34,494
还有我肚里的宝宝有关系

1234
01:03:34,500 --> 01:03:38,288
你…你现在才许个这样的愿？

1235
01:03:43,250 --> 01:03:44,114
不能砍

1236
01:03:45,750 --> 01:03:47,490
村长先生，先下来吧，先下来

1237
01:03:47,500 --> 01:03:48,285
不要动气

1238
01:03:48,792 --> 01:03:50,248
不是，合约列明了

1239
01:03:50,250 --> 01:03:52,036
这棵树我们是一定要砍的

1240
01:03:52,042 --> 01:03:53,373
是吗，写了是这样吗，拿来看看

1241
01:03:53,375 --> 01:03:54,831
你看看吧

1242
01:03:54,833 --> 01:03:55,663
白纸黑字

1243
01:03:58,917 --> 01:04:00,157
村长你发脾气是吗？

1244
01:04:00,167 --> 01:04:00,997
没有

1245
01:04:01,000 --> 01:04:02,490
不要紧…合作愉快吧

1246
01:04:02,500 --> 01:04:04,866
不打扰你了，不好意思…再见

1247
01:04:04,875 --> 01:04:06,866
再见，走快点

1248
01:04:08,042 --> 01:04:09,373
等收我律师信吧

1249
01:04:10,167 --> 01:04:10,997
傻的

1250
01:04:12,292 --> 01:04:13,372
你笑什么？

1251
01:04:14,417 --> 01:04:15,532
每次你装坏人的时候

1252
01:04:15,542 --> 01:04:16,952
我都觉得你很搞笑

1253
01:04:16,958 --> 01:04:19,574
什么装呀，我是货真价实的坏人

1254
01:04:20,583 --> 01:04:22,494
我觉得你是个很善良的人

1255
01:04:23,083 --> 01:04:23,993
我跟你说

1256
01:04:24,000 --> 01:04:25,706
你再贬低我村长这个形象呢

1257
01:04:25,708 --> 01:04:26,948
我就对你不客气

1258
01:04:26,958 --> 01:04:31,657
我们从盘底吸气到头顶

1259
01:04:31,667 --> 01:04:36,286
然后可以喊出声，呀…

1260
01:04:36,292 --> 01:04:39,284
这样呼气，感觉像是推出去

1261
01:04:39,292 --> 01:04:40,748
方便你们日后生产

1262
01:04:41,583 --> 01:04:43,949
准爸爸可以和准妈妈一起喊

1263
01:04:43,958 --> 01:04:45,164
鼓励一下她们

1264
01:04:45,167 --> 01:04:46,327
吸气

1265
01:04:54,917 --> 01:04:56,123
不好意思…

1266
01:04:56,125 --> 01:04:57,331
没拉屎，屎急

1267
01:04:58,583 --> 01:04:59,868
「打石湖」呀，「打石湖」呀

1268
01:04:59,875 --> 01:05:00,864
进去躲雨吧

1269
01:05:00,958 --> 01:05:01,743
真是「打石湖」呀

1270
01:05:01,875 --> 01:05:03,285
就快「打石湖」呀，快点，走吧走吧

1271
01:05:03,292 --> 01:05:05,078
快点快点，「打石湖」呀

1272
01:05:05,708 --> 01:05:07,164
小心小心，快点吧快点吧

1273
01:05:08,167 --> 01:05:09,498
快点呀，「打石湖」呀

1274
01:05:15,208 --> 01:05:16,288
真下了

1275
01:05:17,042 --> 01:05:18,498
不怕，很快会停

1276
01:05:18,500 --> 01:05:20,161
「打石湖」这种雨这里常常有的

1277
01:05:20,167 --> 01:05:21,873
「打石湖」是什么？

1278
01:05:21,875 --> 01:05:23,831
「打石湖」是水上人家话

1279
01:05:23,833 --> 01:05:25,323
就是雷阵雨的意思

1280
01:05:25,542 --> 01:05:27,999
不过很快会过的，过了天气还比之前的好

1281
01:05:28,667 --> 01:05:30,203
人生都有「打石湖」的

1282
01:05:30,208 --> 01:05:32,915
最重要是不要怕，过去了就没事的

1283
01:05:34,917 --> 01:05:36,202
对吧

1284
01:05:36,208 --> 01:05:37,243
停了

1285
01:05:48,083 --> 01:05:49,243
双彩虹啊

1286
01:05:50,542 --> 01:05:51,531
好开心啊

1287
01:05:52,667 --> 01:05:54,498
双彩虹有什么好开心？

1288
01:05:54,500 --> 01:05:55,831
四条我都见过了

1289
01:05:56,375 --> 01:05:58,240
我很久没有这种感觉了

1290
01:06:01,667 --> 01:06:03,953
原来快乐可以很简单

1291
01:06:04,625 --> 01:06:05,865
简单快乐

1292
01:06:06,375 --> 01:06:07,831
什么？

1293
01:06:08,375 --> 01:06:09,956
她说「先谷啤蛇」

1294
01:06:09,958 --> 01:06:12,370
那就实收一注，那当然简单快乐了

1295
01:06:13,083 --> 01:06:14,243
但你「先谷啤蛇」

1296
01:06:14,250 --> 01:06:15,410
视乎你的最尾有什么牌啊

1297
01:06:15,542 --> 01:06:17,578
如果你只有「啤蛇」那么你就输了

1298
01:06:17,583 --> 01:06:18,493
不是

1299
01:06:18,500 --> 01:06:20,365
是simple pleasure

1300
01:06:20,375 --> 01:06:23,492
不是啊，跟我讲一次

1301
01:06:23,500 --> 01:06:25,286
「先谷啤蛇」

1302
01:06:26,625 --> 01:06:27,990
「先谷啤蛇」

1303
01:06:28,000 --> 01:06:28,864
是

1304
01:06:28,875 --> 01:06:30,911
实收一注

1305
01:06:30,917 --> 01:06:32,908
简单快乐

1306
01:06:32,917 --> 01:06:34,828
「顶你个肺」…

1307
01:06:34,833 --> 01:06:36,619
好极

1308
01:06:46,250 --> 01:06:47,456
幸好我盯着你

1309
01:06:47,458 --> 01:06:49,619
静悄悄走进人家房子？

1310
01:06:49,625 --> 01:06:50,740
偷了人家什么呀？

1311
01:06:50,750 --> 01:06:52,911
不是呀

1312
01:06:52,917 --> 01:06:54,373
我刚才替余真换床单

1313
01:06:54,375 --> 01:06:57,037
在床褥底无意中发现的

1314
01:06:58,083 --> 01:06:59,414
我不是宝宝的爸爸

1315
01:07:01,708 --> 01:07:03,244
赛果正常吧

1316
01:07:03,250 --> 01:07:05,081
只是你经常咬牙切齿的说

1317
01:07:05,083 --> 01:07:07,449
那宝宝一定是我的

1318
01:07:07,458 --> 01:07:09,369
那算吧，知道也好啊

1319
01:07:10,375 --> 01:07:11,865
当干爹，好吧？

1320
01:07:11,875 --> 01:07:13,285
你不要太得意吧

1321
01:07:13,292 --> 01:07:14,998
宝宝都不是你的

1322
01:07:16,208 --> 01:07:18,164
生育协议书，她干吗要？

1323
01:07:20,125 --> 01:07:21,410
你不早说？

1324
01:07:21,417 --> 01:07:23,408
我一进来你不说，说了一顿这些废话

1325
01:07:25,125 --> 01:07:26,285
去找她，去问她

1326
01:07:26,292 --> 01:07:28,453
问她都多余吧，她必定说不是的

1327
01:07:28,458 --> 01:07:30,164
就算答你都很敷衍的

1328
01:07:31,167 --> 01:07:32,623
你现在当我是余真，你问我

1329
01:07:35,083 --> 01:07:36,539
你是什么意思？

1330
01:07:38,250 --> 01:07:39,535
你不要怪我

1331
01:07:39,542 --> 01:07:40,622
我不想的

1332
01:07:40,875 --> 01:07:43,912
我只是为了肚子里面的孩子

1333
01:07:44,875 --> 01:07:46,115
你还说孩子

1334
01:07:47,042 --> 01:07:47,997
孕妇不能打的

1335
01:07:48,000 --> 01:07:49,365
你说是问来都多余吧

1336
01:07:53,417 --> 01:07:55,203
我好生气，我真的好生气

1337
01:07:56,250 --> 01:07:57,535
我这辈子未做过好人

1338
01:07:57,542 --> 01:07:59,703
第一次做好人就被人骗

1339
01:07:59,708 --> 01:08:02,495
不行，我要找东西掷…

1340
01:08:02,500 --> 01:08:03,410
找些贵的

1341
01:08:03,417 --> 01:08:05,658
你先冷静点吧

1342
01:08:05,667 --> 01:08:06,702
依我的看法

1343
01:08:06,708 --> 01:08:09,370
姓史那个混蛋现在一定在找那坏女人

1344
01:08:10,083 --> 01:08:11,038
耶稣说的

1345
01:08:11,042 --> 01:08:12,282
富贵险中求

1346
01:08:12,292 --> 01:08:13,407
何鸿燊说的

1347
01:08:13,417 --> 01:08:15,783
何鸿燊说的，富贵险中求

1348
01:08:16,375 --> 01:08:17,785
我们就去找姓史的

1349
01:08:18,208 --> 01:08:20,665
要他一两百万，顺一顺气

1350
01:08:21,625 --> 01:08:24,332
两位一场来到，有什么可以满足两位？

1351
01:08:24,917 --> 01:08:26,453
那很容易吧

1352
01:08:26,458 --> 01:08:27,664
你有什么可以满足我们？

1353
01:08:27,917 --> 01:08:30,408
史公子就是问有什么可以满足你们

1354
01:08:30,417 --> 01:08:31,782
你满足了我们

1355
01:08:31,792 --> 01:08:33,578
我们就满足你们

1356
01:08:40,000 --> 01:08:43,413
为了表示我的诚意，银目你们自己写

1357
01:08:44,708 --> 01:08:45,948
那么写多少？

1358
01:08:45,958 --> 01:08:47,118
别紧张

1359
01:08:49,292 --> 01:08:52,955
人家开了这样的条件，那当然写尽它吧

1360
01:08:52,958 --> 01:08:53,788
一百万

1361
01:08:54,542 --> 01:08:55,657
一百万？

1362
01:08:55,667 --> 01:08:56,656
太多了吗？

1363
01:08:57,250 --> 01:08:58,660
那当然写一千万吧

1364
01:08:58,667 --> 01:09:00,373
这样是看不起史公子啊

1365
01:09:00,375 --> 01:09:01,615
你这么贪心

1366
01:09:01,625 --> 01:09:03,707
人家出几十万就干掉我们两个了

1367
01:09:04,125 --> 01:09:04,910
那么写多少？

1368
01:09:05,625 --> 01:09:06,455
六百万

1369
01:09:06,458 --> 01:09:09,040
这个数目，有要求之余，又得体

1370
01:09:09,833 --> 01:09:10,663
六百万

1371
01:09:11,375 --> 01:09:12,785
写我名 你是傻的吗？

1372
01:09:12,792 --> 01:09:14,407
然后我转账给你 写你的名？

1373
01:09:14,417 --> 01:09:15,247
看到了吗？

1374
01:09:15,250 --> 01:09:16,911
我们同一家银行的

1375
01:09:17,333 --> 01:09:18,243
写我的名…

1376
01:09:18,250 --> 01:09:19,660
同一家银行，写我的名都可以

1377
01:09:19,667 --> 01:09:21,828
写我名吧，我转账给你就是了，你信我

1378
01:09:21,833 --> 01:09:22,993
两位都一把年纪了

1379
01:09:23,000 --> 01:09:25,491
为了那几百万而伤和气有什么意义呢

1380
01:09:28,250 --> 01:09:29,740
一人一张支票

1381
01:09:29,750 --> 01:09:31,786
每人三百万，那就不用争了

1382
01:09:32,167 --> 01:09:33,031
这样都好啊

1383
01:09:34,250 --> 01:09:35,365
让我多问一句

1384
01:09:35,375 --> 01:09:36,455
你户口有钱的吗

1385
01:09:36,458 --> 01:09:37,618
不会 「Bound chequess」（退票）？

1386
01:09:38,083 --> 01:09:39,994
你拿着史公子的Bounced cheque（支票）

1387
01:09:40,000 --> 01:09:41,365
去苏富比拍卖的话

1388
01:09:41,792 --> 01:09:44,078
一个亿都能卖啊乡下佬

1389
01:09:44,292 --> 01:09:45,407
今天这么高兴

1390
01:09:45,417 --> 01:09:46,873
开两瓶好东西来庆祝一下

1391
01:09:46,875 --> 01:09:47,955
好啊

1392
01:09:48,500 --> 01:09:52,243
这两瓶是一九四五年的「莫吞乜春」

1393
01:09:52,750 --> 01:09:54,991
在外面炒到四五十万一瓶

1394
01:09:55,000 --> 01:09:56,740
现在喝一瓶，少一瓶

1395
01:09:57,833 --> 01:09:59,369
有多少个零，个十百千

1396
01:09:59,375 --> 01:10:00,160
喝一瓶少一瓶啊

1397
01:10:00,167 --> 01:10:01,031
来吧，谢谢

1398
01:10:01,042 --> 01:10:01,827
试试

1399
01:10:02,292 --> 01:10:03,748
喂…

1400
01:10:03,750 --> 01:10:05,911
说是庆祝的，当然整瓶喝吧

1401
01:10:07,083 --> 01:10:09,699
这也对啊，四、五十万一瓶

1402
01:10:09,708 --> 01:10:10,868
那么不客气了，来吧

1403
01:10:11,292 --> 01:10:12,122
来来来

1404
01:10:14,792 --> 01:10:15,622
你不喝的？

1405
01:10:20,000 --> 01:10:22,582
什么来的？怎么会酸成这样的

1406
01:10:25,208 --> 01:10:26,914
瓶子是我剩下来的

1407
01:10:27,500 --> 01:10:28,831
里面的酒是超市里

1408
01:10:28,833 --> 01:10:31,199
四十元一盒的那些便宜红酒

1409
01:10:32,333 --> 01:10:34,824
基本上呢，我可以一毛也不掏

1410
01:10:35,250 --> 01:10:37,206
跟踪你们就可以找到余真

1411
01:10:38,042 --> 01:10:39,998
如果你们想我签了这张票

1412
01:10:40,208 --> 01:10:41,948
就整瓶红酒干了吧

1413
01:10:41,958 --> 01:10:43,118
每人三百万

1414
01:10:43,125 --> 01:10:44,285
我一样照付

1415
01:10:49,292 --> 01:10:52,250
用六百万，就可以看余真失望的样子

1416
01:10:54,167 --> 01:10:55,122
太值了

1417
01:11:01,250 --> 01:11:03,491
我不勉强人的，不喝就算了

1418
01:11:06,125 --> 01:11:07,114
来吧

1419
01:11:11,833 --> 01:11:13,164
每个人都有个价的

1420
01:11:13,958 --> 01:11:14,947
你们就是值这些

1421
01:11:14,958 --> 01:11:16,744
四十多元一盒的便宜红酒了

1422
01:11:18,792 --> 01:11:20,202
四十元一盒都这么好喝

1423
01:11:20,208 --> 01:11:22,199
来，干

1424
01:11:26,833 --> 01:11:27,618
回来了？

1425
01:11:31,167 --> 01:11:31,952
Honey

1426
01:11:39,167 --> 01:11:39,952
坐

1427
01:11:44,417 --> 01:11:45,748
Honey，我终于找到你了

1428
01:11:45,750 --> 01:11:46,990
你知道我找得你有多辛苦吗？

1429
01:11:51,333 --> 01:11:53,289
我一直都担心你们什么时候会知道

1430
01:11:57,833 --> 01:12:01,121
现在好了，你们都知道了

1431
01:12:02,833 --> 01:12:04,039
还把他给带来了

1432
01:12:04,042 --> 01:12:05,282
喂，十五二十

1433
01:12:05,292 --> 01:12:06,122
来吧

1434
01:12:06,125 --> 01:12:07,456
五个，十

1435
01:12:07,458 --> 01:12:08,243
十个

1436
01:12:08,375 --> 01:12:09,455
你还是跟我回去吧

1437
01:12:09,750 --> 01:12:11,115
我不会跟你回去的

1438
01:12:12,750 --> 01:12:16,288
我决定了，这个孩生下来会跟我姓

1439
01:12:16,292 --> 01:12:17,828
我会自己把他养大

1440
01:12:17,833 --> 01:12:19,448
不会要你们史家一分钱

1441
01:12:19,583 --> 01:12:20,823
现在不同了

1442
01:12:20,833 --> 01:12:22,994
那老头上个月真的被我气死了

1443
01:12:23,083 --> 01:12:23,947
Yeah

1444
01:12:24,167 --> 01:12:25,407
没人可以再分开我们了

1445
01:12:27,542 --> 01:12:28,622
Honey

1446
01:12:30,083 --> 01:12:32,620
我知道我以前很不中用，又懦弱

1447
01:12:32,625 --> 01:12:35,207
所以，一直都很内疚

1448
01:12:36,958 --> 01:12:38,949
我答应你，我一定会改过

1449
01:12:39,417 --> 01:12:40,327
我要和你

1450
01:12:41,500 --> 01:12:44,037
和我们的宝宝，组织一个幸福的家庭

1451
01:12:45,333 --> 01:12:46,322
你真的会对宝宝好？

1452
01:12:46,625 --> 01:12:48,331
一定会，我发誓

1453
01:12:48,542 --> 01:12:50,407
如果我对你和宝宝不好的话

1454
01:12:50,417 --> 01:12:51,452
就保佑我坐牢

1455
01:12:51,458 --> 01:12:52,914
和被十几个硬汉强奸

1456
01:12:55,458 --> 01:12:56,538
不如我们回去吧

1457
01:12:56,542 --> 01:12:57,873
走吧

1458
01:12:59,125 --> 01:13:00,240
帮少奶奶收舍

1459
01:13:00,542 --> 01:13:02,999
不用了，这里的东西我都不要了

1460
01:13:03,958 --> 01:13:05,744
对的，我们再买些新的

1461
01:13:06,875 --> 01:13:07,830
慢慢走

1462
01:13:09,708 --> 01:13:11,539
五呀，十呀

1463
01:13:11,542 --> 01:13:12,952
十五呀，十呀

1464
01:13:13,208 --> 01:13:13,993
查理

1465
01:13:15,333 --> 01:13:18,245
你答应过我要照顾好多多的，别忘了

1466
01:13:19,292 --> 01:13:20,202
五呀，十五呀

1467
01:13:20,208 --> 01:13:22,073
十个

1468
01:13:22,083 --> 01:13:23,198
阿炳 全开

1469
01:13:24,792 --> 01:13:26,498
那棵许愿树挺灵验的

1470
01:13:27,417 --> 01:13:28,782
我许的愿望都实现了

1471
01:13:30,542 --> 01:13:31,702
走吧 到我吧？

1472
01:13:31,708 --> 01:13:32,538
到你，到你

1473
01:13:32,542 --> 01:13:34,078
五个 走开吧

1474
01:13:54,625 --> 01:13:58,038
对吧，回去做少奶奶

1475
01:13:58,042 --> 01:13:59,498
中秋看烟火

1476
01:13:59,500 --> 01:14:01,912
晚上还可以看幻彩咏香江

1477
01:14:01,917 --> 01:14:02,952
我们做了好事吧

1478
01:14:02,958 --> 01:14:03,947
那当然吧

1479
01:14:08,708 --> 01:14:09,663
再聊吧，有时间

1480
01:14:09,667 --> 01:14:11,828
有时间联络吧，我走这边

1481
01:14:11,833 --> 01:14:12,572
我走这边

1482
01:14:21,208 --> 01:14:27,033
（每次我将倾心的感觉 都收起）

1483
01:14:27,042 --> 01:14:35,700
（祗得我自己 在梦里欣赏你）

1484
01:14:35,708 --> 01:14:41,533
（那次我于餐厅的一角 偷看你）

1485
01:14:41,542 --> 01:14:51,122
（这么远亲你 我视作无比的福气）

1486
01:14:53,083 --> 01:14:54,163
妹妹

1487
01:14:54,875 --> 01:14:55,910
多多

1488
01:14:58,792 --> 01:15:00,874
我帮你寻回多多了，开心吗？

1489
01:15:00,875 --> 01:15:01,910
开心

1490
01:15:01,917 --> 01:15:07,708
（烦扰 完美 造梦也都因你）

1491
01:15:07,708 --> 01:15:10,120
（晴天 阴天 雨天）

1492
01:15:10,125 --> 01:15:15,074
（我在何地 亦都会等你）

1493
01:15:15,083 --> 01:15:24,082
（如果不给你嫌弃 才是我运气）

1494
01:15:38,708 --> 01:15:40,869
你在这里做什么，你又许愿吗？

1495
01:15:41,375 --> 01:15:43,787
村长，我真的好想念阿莲啊

1496
01:15:44,083 --> 01:15:45,072
不是吧

1497
01:15:45,083 --> 01:15:46,619
他常常背叛你，你还想念她吗？

1498
01:15:46,625 --> 01:15:50,072
就是吧，但是我真的很想她回来我身边啊

1499
01:15:50,083 --> 01:15:50,822
对了

1500
01:15:50,833 --> 01:15:52,915
上次收了你的一千元之后

1501
01:15:52,917 --> 01:15:54,623
我好像出卖了自己的人格

1502
01:15:54,625 --> 01:15:56,741
混身不自在

1503
01:15:57,000 --> 01:15:58,786
不如我把这一千元还给你

1504
01:15:58,792 --> 01:16:01,078
不用了，我不要了

1505
01:16:05,250 --> 01:16:07,332
你看，还了一千元给你之后

1506
01:16:07,333 --> 01:16:08,948
整个人格都回来了

1507
01:16:11,875 --> 01:16:14,742
阿莲…

1508
01:16:17,083 --> 01:16:17,913
村长

1509
01:16:19,250 --> 01:16:20,160
村长你怎么了？

1510
01:16:20,625 --> 01:16:22,707
正如你所说，没了人格

1511
01:16:22,708 --> 01:16:24,539
混身不自在的样子

1512
01:16:24,542 --> 01:16:25,782
这么神奇

1513
01:16:28,167 --> 01:16:30,533
阿莲？你晚上就回家？

1514
01:16:31,292 --> 01:16:33,248
真的很灵验…

1515
01:16:33,250 --> 01:16:35,036
我在村口脱了裤子等你

1516
01:16:49,250 --> 01:16:52,788
查理和冯仁炳虽然不是孩子的亲生父亲

1517
01:16:52,792 --> 01:16:56,614
但是我希望他们可以做孩子的干爸爸

1518
01:16:56,625 --> 01:16:59,662
以后他们两个平平安安，长命百岁

1519
01:16:59,833 --> 01:17:03,121
不要再遇上好像我这样骗他们的坏女人

1520
01:17:14,542 --> 01:17:16,032
什么事呀冯仁炳？

1521
01:17:16,042 --> 01:17:17,202
睡不着呀？

1522
01:17:17,208 --> 01:17:19,494
关你什么事，你睡得了吗

1523
01:17:19,500 --> 01:17:22,082
就是睡不了，不如出来谈谈

1524
01:17:22,083 --> 01:17:23,368
好啊，去哪？

1525
01:17:23,375 --> 01:17:25,366
当然是找一个安静的地方吧

1526
01:17:25,375 --> 01:17:28,162
十，十五，十五，二十

1527
01:17:28,167 --> 01:17:29,998
其实你今晚干嘛这么挑剔？

1528
01:17:30,792 --> 01:17:31,747
对啊

1529
01:17:33,125 --> 01:17:34,581
平时那些不漂亮小姐我…

1530
01:17:34,583 --> 01:17:36,869
第一轮已经带出街了

1531
01:17:40,625 --> 01:17:42,661
我一直都想做个坏人

1532
01:17:42,667 --> 01:17:43,747
现在我做到了

1533
01:17:44,500 --> 01:17:45,706
还收了几百万

1534
01:17:46,792 --> 01:17:48,748
可是为何还是失落呢

1535
01:17:51,167 --> 01:17:52,657
我骗人骗了一辈子

1536
01:17:54,958 --> 01:17:56,994
第一次被余真骗了

1537
01:17:59,000 --> 01:18:00,331
我现在竟然有点想念她

1538
01:18:02,833 --> 01:18:04,164
你说她会不会想念我们呢？

1539
01:18:05,792 --> 01:18:07,282
她会怪我们吗？

1540
01:18:10,292 --> 01:18:11,577
她一个女生…

1541
01:18:13,292 --> 01:18:15,749
不要想了，我们哭吧

1542
01:18:25,292 --> 01:18:26,623
神经病的

1543
01:18:26,625 --> 01:18:28,707
在这里哭哭哭，哭什么呀男人大丈夫

1544
01:18:28,708 --> 01:18:30,915
来找开心的，对不对

1545
01:18:30,917 --> 01:18:32,578
在这里哭坏了气氛

1546
01:18:33,875 --> 01:18:35,536
我不是说你们

1547
01:18:35,542 --> 01:18:37,578
我说隔壁那个四眼男

1548
01:18:37,583 --> 01:18:40,780
我找了全场最美那两个模特儿给他了

1549
01:18:40,792 --> 01:18:42,532
结果他还是哭成猪头

1550
01:18:42,542 --> 01:18:43,622
哭得比你们惨

1551
01:18:43,625 --> 01:18:46,697
他妈的，有模特儿陪坐还哭成杀猪般

1552
01:18:46,708 --> 01:18:48,244
那我们不是要上吊了吗？

1553
01:18:50,292 --> 01:18:51,532
不是，我不是说你们

1554
01:18:51,542 --> 01:18:54,534
对啊，为了你们上吊不值得吧

1555
01:18:55,500 --> 01:18:56,660
什么男人来的？

1556
01:18:56,667 --> 01:18:58,032
有两个模特儿陪坐还哭

1557
01:18:58,042 --> 01:18:59,327
简直不配当男人

1558
01:18:59,333 --> 01:19:00,243
就是了

1559
01:19:00,250 --> 01:19:01,990
让我过去扯他的出来

1560
01:19:02,000 --> 01:19:04,161
打结后回去给蜑家英钓鱼

1561
01:19:04,417 --> 01:19:05,782
我老板没人性的

1562
01:19:08,125 --> 01:19:09,410
那个男人在哭

1563
01:19:11,792 --> 01:19:13,282
喂，那不是史公子的手下吗？

1564
01:19:16,208 --> 01:19:17,789
不如这样吧，你慢慢哭

1565
01:19:17,792 --> 01:19:18,998
我出去吃点东西

1566
01:19:19,000 --> 01:19:21,161
你想也不要想啊，我会把你的脚给斩掉啊

1567
01:19:21,167 --> 01:19:22,373
坐在这里看着我哭

1568
01:19:23,542 --> 01:19:25,373
我老板没人性的

1569
01:19:39,500 --> 01:19:41,707
喂，你们是不是应该问问我

1570
01:19:41,708 --> 01:19:43,414
我的老板怎样没人性

1571
01:19:44,417 --> 01:19:48,330
对了，你老板怎样没人性？

1572
01:19:48,792 --> 01:19:50,703
你那么想知，我就告诉你

1573
01:19:51,500 --> 01:19:53,161
知道我为何想找回我的儿子吗？

1574
01:19:53,500 --> 01:19:54,865
是你的亲生骨肉

1575
01:19:54,875 --> 01:19:56,160
史家的香火传人

1576
01:19:56,167 --> 01:19:57,873
你当然紧张吧

1577
01:19:57,875 --> 01:19:59,456
我像想要孩子的吗？

1578
01:20:00,458 --> 01:20:02,665
好不容易才气死我老爸

1579
01:20:03,042 --> 01:20:04,998
现在生个儿子和我分身家？

1580
01:20:05,000 --> 01:20:06,706
不要耍我吧

1581
01:20:07,750 --> 01:20:10,287
你都知道的，我从小就把肾弄坏了

1582
01:20:10,625 --> 01:20:12,786
精液又稀又不够

1583
01:20:13,000 --> 01:20:15,616
但Honey都有本事被我搞大了肚

1584
01:20:16,292 --> 01:20:19,079
这个宝宝好有研究价值

1585
01:20:19,375 --> 01:20:21,331
所以我一早和非洲一间

1586
01:20:21,333 --> 01:20:23,324
专医不育的药厂谈好了

1587
01:20:23,333 --> 01:20:25,494
等宝宝一出世的时候

1588
01:20:25,500 --> 01:20:27,661
立即找私人飞机送他到那边做研究

1589
01:20:27,958 --> 01:20:30,574
日后那款药还会用我的名字命名

1590
01:20:31,125 --> 01:20:32,831
还可分到三十个巴仙纯利啊

1591
01:20:33,542 --> 01:20:34,827
那么宝宝会怎样的？

1592
01:20:37,000 --> 01:20:38,865
有谁会理白老鼠的？

1593
01:20:47,250 --> 01:20:49,161
史公子家守卫森严

1594
01:20:49,167 --> 01:20:51,123
又保镖，又管家

1595
01:20:51,125 --> 01:20:52,114
我还是不去了

1596
01:20:52,125 --> 01:20:54,832
不怕，我现在煲了一锅超级迷晕烟

1597
01:20:55,333 --> 01:20:56,869
大笨象闻到都晕几日

1598
01:20:57,292 --> 01:20:58,077
这锅迷晕烟好了吗？

1599
01:20:58,083 --> 01:20:58,993
看看就知道

1600
01:21:14,500 --> 01:21:15,865
这锅迷晕烟好了吗？

1601
01:21:15,875 --> 01:21:16,910
看看就知道

1602
01:21:23,250 --> 01:21:24,239
咪住

1603
01:21:24,250 --> 01:21:25,456
这锅迷晕烟好了吗？

1604
01:21:25,667 --> 01:21:26,702
看看就知道

1605
01:21:50,333 --> 01:21:52,790
你们两个又来找史公子吗？

1606
01:21:52,792 --> 01:21:54,498
他刚刚外出了

1607
01:21:54,917 --> 01:21:57,624
对了，你们为何突然晕倒了？

1608
01:21:59,917 --> 01:22:01,748
我更年期啊，我又贫血

1609
01:22:01,750 --> 01:22:03,991
哎呀，那么很严重啊

1610
01:22:04,000 --> 01:22:05,740
不行，我帮你叫救护车

1611
01:22:05,750 --> 01:22:06,739
不用

1612
01:22:06,750 --> 01:22:08,286
我们去厕所找杯东西喝就可以了

1613
01:22:08,292 --> 01:22:09,202
厕所在哪？

1614
01:22:09,208 --> 01:22:10,869
行，厕所在楼上

1615
01:22:13,833 --> 01:22:18,827
真真…

1616
01:22:18,833 --> 01:22:19,868
你们怎么进来的？

1617
01:22:20,958 --> 01:22:21,947
我们现在不要讲这些了

1618
01:22:21,958 --> 01:22:23,368
你和宝宝的情况很危险

1619
01:22:23,583 --> 01:22:24,413
你快些跟我们走吧

1620
01:22:24,417 --> 01:22:25,247
我去收拾

1621
01:22:25,250 --> 01:22:27,115
我都知道了，回头跟你们算账

1622
01:22:27,125 --> 01:22:28,535
吓，你

1623
01:22:28,625 --> 01:22:30,331
走吧    喂，咪住…

1624
01:22:30,333 --> 01:22:32,540
楼下的管家不会让我们带她走的

1625
01:22:33,333 --> 01:22:34,743
这样吧，没办法

1626
01:22:35,792 --> 01:22:36,872
武力解决

1627
01:22:36,875 --> 01:22:38,740
你拿这东西去扑晕他

1628
01:22:38,958 --> 01:22:40,323
我保护余真 不好…

1629
01:22:40,333 --> 01:22:41,197
他这么老，我下不了手

1630
01:22:41,208 --> 01:22:41,993
我保护余真，你去扑他

1631
01:22:42,083 --> 01:22:43,698
就是因为他老，我怕我扑死他啊

1632
01:22:44,000 --> 01:22:45,206
哎呀，我来吧

1633
01:22:49,125 --> 01:22:50,535
慢慢来…

1634
01:22:52,375 --> 01:22:54,366
我都说迷晕烟有效的

1635
01:22:54,375 --> 01:22:57,037
对啊 迷晕烟，掩鼻…

1636
01:22:57,417 --> 01:22:58,998
走…

1637
01:23:01,917 --> 01:23:03,248
什么事？

1638
01:23:03,250 --> 01:23:04,831
我好像要生了吧

1639
01:23:04,833 --> 01:23:06,118
生？

1640
01:23:06,125 --> 01:23:07,080
送她去医院

1641
01:23:07,083 --> 01:23:08,163
不可以去医院的

1642
01:23:09,000 --> 01:23:11,286
去到医院就好容易被史公子发现

1643
01:23:11,292 --> 01:23:13,283
到时候我们斗不过他的

1644
01:23:13,875 --> 01:23:14,739
回乡公所

1645
01:23:14,750 --> 01:23:16,081
打电话给妈子叫医生来帮手

1646
01:23:16,083 --> 01:23:16,868
走吧

1647
01:23:18,333 --> 01:23:19,243
来了来了

1648
01:23:23,042 --> 01:23:23,827
快点

1649
01:23:23,833 --> 01:23:25,164
来来来，先扶她入去

1650
01:23:25,167 --> 01:23:27,909
小心…

1651
01:23:27,917 --> 01:23:29,373
你两个在这里把风

1652
01:23:30,625 --> 01:23:32,161
小心…

1653
01:23:32,167 --> 01:23:32,952
慢慢啊

1654
01:23:32,958 --> 01:23:33,993
小心梯级

1655
01:23:34,000 --> 01:23:36,116
行不行，忍住…

1656
01:23:36,125 --> 01:23:37,080
顶住顶住…

1657
01:23:37,083 --> 01:23:40,871
来来来，坐下…

1658
01:23:40,875 --> 01:23:41,705
你怎样了？

1659
01:23:42,250 --> 01:23:43,080
疼死我了

1660
01:23:43,083 --> 01:23:43,697
医生怎样了？

1661
01:23:43,708 --> 01:23:44,572
医生OK

1662
01:23:44,917 --> 01:23:47,533
不是说这些啊，叫你接生啊

1663
01:23:47,542 --> 01:23:49,203
不如不要叫我接生吧？

1664
01:23:49,208 --> 01:23:50,948
我人比较害羞，没试过接生

1665
01:23:50,958 --> 01:23:52,539
不如叫救护车送她入医院吧？

1666
01:23:52,542 --> 01:23:54,453
可以送她去医院我们便不用回来了吧

1667
01:23:54,958 --> 01:23:55,788
没事的

1668
01:23:55,792 --> 01:23:57,373
那怎算了，你又不接生

1669
01:23:57,375 --> 01:23:58,535
难道找我接生吗？

1670
01:23:58,625 --> 01:24:00,832
住口！

1671
01:24:00,833 --> 01:24:02,198
让我来

1672
01:24:03,625 --> 01:24:05,456
妈子，你自己都未曾生过

1673
01:24:05,458 --> 01:24:06,789
你不要开玩笑吧

1674
01:24:07,542 --> 01:24:09,453
开什么玩笑，就是因为我未生过孩子

1675
01:24:09,458 --> 01:24:11,039
所以我好奇看了很多

1676
01:24:11,042 --> 01:24:13,909
探索频道关于生育的纪录片

1677
01:24:13,917 --> 01:24:16,454
你看那些是生响尾蛇啊

1678
01:24:16,458 --> 01:24:18,289
哎呀，那些是卵生，这些是胎生

1679
01:24:18,292 --> 01:24:19,782
你「搞唔搞卵惦」（能做到吗）的？

1680
01:24:20,625 --> 01:24:22,035
那么你们来吧

1681
01:24:22,042 --> 01:24:23,248
不好意思

1682
01:24:23,250 --> 01:24:24,239
辛苦你了…

1683
01:24:24,250 --> 01:24:26,206
村口有辆名贵房车来了

1684
01:24:26,208 --> 01:24:28,415
难道史公子那么快就搜到来了？

1685
01:24:29,292 --> 01:24:31,032
不要让他抢走我的孩子啊

1686
01:24:31,042 --> 01:24:32,282
好好好…

1687
01:24:32,292 --> 01:24:34,783
我们去应付，放心

1688
01:24:34,792 --> 01:24:37,579
交给我，没事的

1689
01:24:37,583 --> 01:24:38,538
我们带套先吧好吗

1690
01:24:38,542 --> 01:24:39,577
不是，带手套先好吧

1691
01:24:39,583 --> 01:24:40,493
你带吧

1692
01:24:40,500 --> 01:24:41,410
好好好…

1693
01:24:50,542 --> 01:24:52,999
咦，史公子那么大驾光临啊？

1694
01:24:53,000 --> 01:24:54,410
对啊，那么晚了

1695
01:24:56,292 --> 01:24:57,247
我Honey呢？

1696
01:24:58,792 --> 01:25:00,077
宝宝不能等得太久

1697
01:25:00,083 --> 01:25:02,119
你要努力啊，否则他会缺氧的

1698
01:25:02,125 --> 01:25:03,035
你再试试吧，再推吧

1699
01:25:03,042 --> 01:25:03,952
危险啊

1700
01:25:03,958 --> 01:25:06,119
我管家和我说你们两个带走了她

1701
01:25:06,708 --> 01:25:08,244
你把她交出来

1702
01:25:08,250 --> 01:25:09,990
我当什么都没发生

1703
01:25:10,542 --> 01:25:12,828
但是你管家八十几岁了，会是他记错吗

1704
01:25:12,958 --> 01:25:14,664
哗，他管家八十多岁了？

1705
01:25:14,667 --> 01:25:15,907
你还不让人退休

1706
01:25:15,917 --> 01:25:18,659
这样不行，人家告你的 就是了

1707
01:25:18,667 --> 01:25:19,531
你抹汗吧

1708
01:25:19,542 --> 01:25:20,702
好好好

1709
01:25:20,708 --> 01:25:22,323
不是我呀

1710
01:25:22,333 --> 01:25:23,163
没有汗啊

1711
01:25:23,167 --> 01:25:24,077
她啊

1712
01:25:24,083 --> 01:25:25,823
哦，她啊 我不行了

1713
01:25:27,333 --> 01:25:28,197
一场来到

1714
01:25:28,292 --> 01:25:30,408
不如我介绍你去发记打边炉吧

1715
01:25:31,292 --> 01:25:32,156
有什么好介绍啊？

1716
01:25:32,167 --> 01:25:33,498
黑柏叶，很爽口的

1717
01:25:33,500 --> 01:25:34,239
但不可热水涮太久

1718
01:25:34,250 --> 01:25:35,205
好吧，这些我帮你弄

1719
01:25:35,208 --> 01:25:36,823
一起来吧，走吧走吧

1720
01:25:38,250 --> 01:25:39,956
哗，再打一圈啊

1721
01:25:39,958 --> 01:25:41,664
你两条契弟当我傻的吗

1722
01:25:43,917 --> 01:25:45,123
疼死我了

1723
01:25:46,083 --> 01:25:48,540
你感觉到想痾屎的时候

1724
01:25:48,542 --> 01:25:50,373
你就大力把他推出来，知道吗？

1725
01:25:51,625 --> 01:25:52,865
推吧

1726
01:25:58,375 --> 01:25:59,615
攻击

1727
01:26:12,708 --> 01:26:13,618
再推吧…

1728
01:26:13,625 --> 01:26:14,489
我推不动了

1729
01:26:14,500 --> 01:26:17,082
用力些，好像痾屎那样

1730
01:26:21,708 --> 01:26:22,788
老妈，阿真怎样了？

1731
01:26:22,792 --> 01:26:23,952
真真不行了

1732
01:26:23,958 --> 01:26:25,164
她不懂用力推啊

1733
01:26:26,375 --> 01:26:27,740
你记得瑜伽老师

1734
01:26:27,750 --> 01:26:29,240
怎样教你呼吸吗阿真

1735
01:26:29,250 --> 01:26:30,205
大口气吸入去

1736
01:26:30,208 --> 01:26:31,197
一边叫一边推

1737
01:26:31,208 --> 01:26:32,288
我们一起做吧

1738
01:26:33,375 --> 01:26:35,036
吸

1739
01:26:35,042 --> 01:26:36,077
推

1740
01:26:37,708 --> 01:26:38,572
好些了

1741
01:26:38,583 --> 01:26:43,532
吸…推…

1742
01:26:44,083 --> 01:26:45,789
你们这群混蛋没给你们吃饭吗？

1743
01:26:45,792 --> 01:26:46,656
用力推吧！

1744
01:26:51,917 --> 01:26:54,203
Honey，我来了

1745
01:26:54,208 --> 01:26:55,994
不要管他，集中精神

1746
01:27:00,042 --> 01:27:00,872
加油呀真

1747
01:27:01,167 --> 01:27:02,247
放手吧

1748
01:27:03,458 --> 01:27:04,618
不要管他…

1749
01:27:04,625 --> 01:27:05,535
再来…

1750
01:27:05,542 --> 01:27:08,614
吸，推

1751
01:27:09,333 --> 01:27:12,746
放手，我打死你

1752
01:27:14,167 --> 01:27:15,282
用力呀…

1753
01:27:15,292 --> 01:27:16,372
好

1754
01:27:17,458 --> 01:27:18,743
不是叫你呀！混蛋

1755
01:27:41,625 --> 01:27:42,410
生了

1756
01:27:51,875 --> 01:27:53,365
老妈，是男还是女

1757
01:27:54,000 --> 01:27:55,206
是男的

1758
01:27:55,792 --> 01:27:56,497
儿子啊查理

1759
01:27:58,083 --> 01:28:00,119
我终于有我骨肉了

1760
01:28:00,125 --> 01:28:01,456
像我吗，炳妈

1761
01:28:02,375 --> 01:28:04,206
怎会像你啊？

1762
01:28:04,208 --> 01:28:06,415
你省点吧，你俩条废柴

1763
01:28:06,417 --> 01:28:08,123
要像都像我吧

1764
01:28:10,042 --> 01:28:12,454
你们干什么，还不去抢宝宝

1765
01:28:12,833 --> 01:28:13,993
不如放他们一条生路吧

1766
01:28:14,000 --> 01:28:15,581
那么谁给我一条生路啊？

1767
01:28:16,375 --> 01:28:17,581
这里交给你看守

1768
01:28:20,375 --> 01:28:21,706
谁抢到，给谁十万

1769
01:28:30,042 --> 01:28:32,158
师奶而己，上吧

1770
01:28:33,500 --> 01:28:34,285
别动！

1771
01:28:35,583 --> 01:28:36,743
全部人别动

1772
01:28:38,500 --> 01:28:39,660
你们及时来到就好了

1773
01:28:39,667 --> 01:28:42,033
哎呀，来迟两步吧

1774
01:28:42,042 --> 01:28:44,033
让他们试试我的太极拳利害

1775
01:28:44,292 --> 01:28:45,702
不用麻烦你了，炳妈

1776
01:28:45,708 --> 01:28:46,788
抓住这两个

1777
01:28:47,375 --> 01:28:48,330
臭小子

1778
01:28:48,333 --> 01:28:49,573
来来来，你怎样了？

1779
01:28:51,292 --> 01:28:52,122
妈妈？

1780
01:28:52,125 --> 01:28:53,080
帮我们

1781
01:28:53,333 --> 01:28:55,665
你们这些低级警务人员不要碍事吧

1782
01:28:56,542 --> 01:28:57,327
你知道我是谁吗？

1783
01:28:57,958 --> 01:29:00,040
十大慈善之星，史公子

1784
01:29:00,333 --> 01:29:01,197
警官

1785
01:29:02,208 --> 01:29:03,414
我现在报警

1786
01:29:03,875 --> 01:29:05,160
这个十大慈善之星

1787
01:29:05,167 --> 01:29:08,705
殴打我这些痉挛人仕

1788
01:29:09,167 --> 01:29:11,829
走开，你假装而已

1789
01:29:11,833 --> 01:29:13,573
我有证的

1790
01:29:13,583 --> 01:29:15,699
行，警官信你有「症」

1791
01:29:15,792 --> 01:29:18,158
你痉挛痉到这样，收好证件吧

1792
01:29:18,792 --> 01:29:20,248
谢谢警官

1793
01:29:20,333 --> 01:29:23,200
你来主持公道吧，唔该

1794
01:29:24,042 --> 01:29:26,249
你就是十大慈善之星，对吗？

1795
01:29:26,583 --> 01:29:29,245
我们收到线报，说你抢宝宝啊

1796
01:29:29,250 --> 01:29:30,239
抢？

1797
01:29:30,417 --> 01:29:31,873
我律师可以做证

1798
01:29:32,208 --> 01:29:33,368
我们有口头协议

1799
01:29:33,458 --> 01:29:35,870
那宝宝出世，全权归我的

1800
01:29:36,125 --> 01:29:38,116
根据我目测显示

1801
01:29:38,125 --> 01:29:40,491
宝宝是新鲜滚热辣出世的

1802
01:29:44,750 --> 01:29:47,708
条脐带还系着妈妈的

1803
01:29:47,708 --> 01:29:49,619
那么我没理由不相信条脐带

1804
01:29:49,625 --> 01:29:51,832
信你那些口头协议吧

1805
01:29:54,333 --> 01:29:56,119
你在这里发什么呆

1806
01:29:56,125 --> 01:29:58,161
好了，次次都是我做衰人

1807
01:29:58,167 --> 01:29:58,997
我不玩了

1808
01:29:59,458 --> 01:30:01,949
警官，这个人做很多坏事

1809
01:30:01,958 --> 01:30:03,573
我有足够证据，拘捕他吧

1810
01:30:04,042 --> 01:30:05,623
要在警察面前动手动脚吗？

1811
01:30:05,625 --> 01:30:06,535
别动

1812
01:30:06,542 --> 01:30:08,453
准备坐十年八年吧混蛋

1813
01:30:08,875 --> 01:30:10,831
法律制裁不了我这些有钱人的

1814
01:30:10,833 --> 01:30:13,324
我知道法律制裁不了你这些有钱人

1815
01:30:13,333 --> 01:30:14,618
所以我会尽量安排一些有

1816
01:30:14,625 --> 01:30:17,492
性暴力倾向的囚犯和你困在一起的了

1817
01:30:17,500 --> 01:30:18,706
放监的时候

1818
01:30:18,708 --> 01:30:21,370
就肯定「菊花」都变「向日葵」

1819
01:30:23,208 --> 01:30:24,197
吓不倒我的

1820
01:30:24,750 --> 01:30:27,412
你知道我有几多亲戚是当法官的吗

1821
01:30:27,417 --> 01:30:28,281
况且…

1822
01:30:28,292 --> 01:30:29,748
收声吧有钱仔

1823
01:30:29,750 --> 01:30:30,865
走吧，少废话

1824
01:30:30,875 --> 01:30:32,957
哎呀，我…我呼吸不了

1825
01:30:32,958 --> 01:30:34,949
我要叫救护车，我要叫救护车

1826
01:30:35,042 --> 01:30:36,122
小心啊

1827
01:30:36,542 --> 01:30:37,827
警察滥权啊

1828
01:30:37,833 --> 01:30:40,870
麻烦几位做做证人回警署落口供吧

1829
01:30:41,833 --> 01:30:43,118
但宝宝刚出世啊

1830
01:30:43,125 --> 01:30:44,240
是啊

1831
01:30:44,250 --> 01:30:45,740
那么不要赶了

1832
01:30:45,750 --> 01:30:47,741
等宝宝读完大学再来落口供吧

1833
01:30:49,125 --> 01:30:49,989
谢谢，警官

1834
01:30:50,958 --> 01:30:51,947
宝宝，宝宝

1835
01:30:51,958 --> 01:30:52,993
干儿子，干儿子

1836
01:31:03,917 --> 01:31:06,659
冯仁炳呀…

1837
01:31:07,667 --> 01:31:09,077
余真在哪？

1838
01:31:10,042 --> 01:31:12,078
余真在哪？

1839
01:31:12,958 --> 01:31:13,868
他在干什么

1840
01:31:13,875 --> 01:31:15,411
走路一拐一拐的像生了花柳病一样

1841
01:31:15,417 --> 01:31:16,702
就是学我装痉挛吗？

1842
01:31:17,708 --> 01:31:18,743
你看这个人

1843
01:31:20,250 --> 01:31:22,457
跟你一样走路一拐一拐的好像花柳病似的

1844
01:31:25,542 --> 01:31:27,703
你头中间那条海参呢，去了那？

1845
01:31:27,708 --> 01:31:30,165
我拆了给古天乐饰演我啊

1846
01:31:30,167 --> 01:31:30,997
出来了吗？

1847
01:31:31,292 --> 01:31:32,372
古天乐饰演他？

1848
01:31:32,375 --> 01:31:33,364
古天乐

1849
01:31:37,083 --> 01:31:38,823
芥菜的真名不就是古天落吗

1850
01:31:38,833 --> 01:31:39,868
上落的落啊

1851
01:31:39,875 --> 01:31:40,955
不是吧

1852
01:31:40,958 --> 01:31:41,947
什么不是

1853
01:31:47,667 --> 01:31:49,749
Cut，这个ok

1854
01:31:49,750 --> 01:31:50,785
等等导演

1855
01:31:50,792 --> 01:31:53,283
那个演员头发掉了，要不再来一条吧

1856
01:31:53,292 --> 01:31:55,374
这些观众看不见的

1857
01:31:55,625 --> 01:31:56,455
机器那边

1858
01:31:57,167 --> 01:31:58,748
香港电影业那么随便的

1859
01:31:58,750 --> 01:31:59,705
什么人都做到导演

1860
01:31:59,708 --> 01:32:00,538
对啊

1861
01:32:00,542 --> 01:32:02,498
真真，恭喜你啊

1862
01:32:02,500 --> 01:32:04,991
你的书那么畅销，还拍了电影

1863
01:32:05,167 --> 01:32:06,031
我刚刚看完

1864
01:32:06,042 --> 01:32:06,827
喜欢吗？

1865
01:32:06,833 --> 01:32:07,572
闷到呕

1866
01:32:07,708 --> 01:32:09,699
你将你的生仔经历写出来

1867
01:32:09,708 --> 01:32:10,948
其实就是一本日记

1868
01:32:10,958 --> 01:32:11,993
没有我和查理在里面

1869
01:32:12,000 --> 01:32:13,080
你能卖到九十几万本？

1870
01:32:13,083 --> 01:32:14,198
你省点吧

1871
01:32:17,208 --> 01:32:18,414
说笑而已

1872
01:32:18,417 --> 01:32:19,827
可以给我们封个红包吗？

1873
01:32:20,417 --> 01:32:21,827
余宝来了

1874
01:32:22,625 --> 01:32:23,455
干儿子！

1875
01:32:24,125 --> 01:32:26,912
宝宝…

1876
01:32:26,917 --> 01:32:28,032
叫干爹，叫干爹

1877
01:32:28,875 --> 01:32:30,206
不要理他，这条友白撞

1878
01:32:30,208 --> 01:32:31,288
我才是干爹

1879
01:32:33,167 --> 01:32:34,122
查理

1880
01:32:35,833 --> 01:32:37,539
Gigi

1881
01:32:39,083 --> 01:32:41,540
喂，乌冬…

1882
01:32:44,667 --> 01:32:46,203
可爱吗？她叫Gigi

1883
01:32:46,208 --> 01:32:47,744
她真是很喜欢我的

1884
01:32:47,750 --> 01:32:49,035
你好好地对人啊

1885
01:32:49,042 --> 01:32:51,454
不过我有点怀念以前的查理

1886
01:32:52,125 --> 01:32:54,161
那时候的你，别有一番风味

1887
01:32:55,667 --> 01:32:57,328
如果今晚咩的话

1888
01:32:57,333 --> 01:32:59,790
我发挥我的方法演技给你看看

1889
01:33:04,875 --> 01:33:05,660
周润发

1890
01:33:11,458 --> 01:33:12,368
这个是谁？

1891
01:33:14,583 --> 01:33:15,493
黎明

1892
01:33:20,333 --> 01:33:25,953
凭傲气，硬汉子，献出一分痴

1893
01:33:27,875 --> 01:33:29,206
四个一同上吧

1894
01:33:29,208 --> 01:33:30,243
四个？

1895
01:33:30,250 --> 01:33:32,286
大哥一个人也够了吧

1896
01:33:33,042 --> 01:33:33,952
那些臭男人

1897
01:33:33,958 --> 01:33:35,323
话变就变，你看看

1898
01:33:36,042 --> 01:33:36,952
炳炳

1899
01:33:37,708 --> 01:33:38,868
你亲爱的来了

1900
01:33:38,875 --> 01:33:39,864
我知

1901
01:33:40,417 --> 01:33:41,281
不是啊

1902
01:33:41,292 --> 01:33:43,999
我昨天不小心喝了整瓶「半杯晕陀陀」

1903
01:33:44,000 --> 01:33:46,867
你好衰的，支酒是我买的啊

1904
01:33:46,875 --> 01:33:48,331
不要到处告诉人啊

1905
01:33:48,333 --> 01:33:50,289
我当然不会吧，你觉得很体面吗？

1906
01:33:52,458 --> 01:33:55,746
其实我现在有你们这样的好朋友挺好的

1907
01:33:56,500 --> 01:33:57,785
是不是呀宝宝？

1908
01:33:59,417 --> 01:34:01,783
余真小姐，饰演你的演员到了

1909
01:34:02,250 --> 01:34:03,239
你好

1910
01:34:03,250 --> 01:34:04,410
余小姐，你好

1911
01:34:04,417 --> 01:34:05,748
谢谢你参与我的电影

1912
01:34:05,750 --> 01:34:07,866
我好钟意你的故事，我会俾心机做好它的

1913
01:34:07,958 --> 01:34:08,788
谢谢

1914
01:34:09,375 --> 01:34:12,447
你太自私了吧，你找娜姐来演你

1915
01:34:12,458 --> 01:34:14,289
你哪有人家那么大的胸

1916
01:34:14,292 --> 01:34:15,782
臭小子乱说话

1917
01:34:15,792 --> 01:34:16,827
我哪有说，我心声来的

1918
01:34:16,833 --> 01:34:17,822
我说了出来吗

1919
01:34:17,833 --> 01:34:18,993
你好，我叫查理

1920
01:34:19,000 --> 01:34:20,865
我是这位作者最亲密的朋友

1921
01:34:21,250 --> 01:34:22,865
我和她的关系错综复杂

1922
01:34:22,875 --> 01:34:24,411
不如找个暗一点的角落

1923
01:34:24,417 --> 01:34:26,658
大家了解一下这段错中复杂的感情吧

1924
01:34:26,667 --> 01:34:27,452
好吗？

1925
01:34:27,458 --> 01:34:28,868
不是太好吧

1926
01:34:28,875 --> 01:34:30,285
那就对了

1927
01:34:30,292 --> 01:34:32,283
不如我们拍照吧，老妈过来…

1928
01:34:32,292 --> 01:34:33,202
来来来…

1929
01:34:33,208 --> 01:34:34,948
拍照啊…

1930
01:34:34,958 --> 01:34:36,243
过去帮我们拍，过去帮我们拍

1931
01:34:36,250 --> 01:34:37,080
余小姐一起吧

1932
01:34:37,083 --> 01:34:39,540
全部出来拍照呀，拍照啊拍照啊

1933
01:34:39,542 --> 01:34:41,157
大合照

1934
01:34:41,167 --> 01:34:42,498
妈子，美女呀

1935
01:34:42,500 --> 01:34:43,455
大明星呀

1936
01:34:43,458 --> 01:34:46,950
来吧…

1937
01:34:46,958 --> 01:34:48,073
你走开吧

1938
01:34:48,833 --> 01:34:52,951
准备，一，二，三，Yeah

1939
01:34:52,958 --> 01:34:55,825
拍多些，一，二，三，Yeah

1940
01:34:56,000 --> 01:34:57,615
你可以对着我们拍吗？

1941
01:35:00,250 --> 01:35:01,660
你拍我们吧

1942
01:35:02,375 --> 01:35:04,286
一，二，三，Yeah

1943
01:35:15,958 --> 01:35:17,289
喂，怎样呀？外卖到了吗？

1944
01:35:19,208 --> 01:35:20,038
对呀

1945
01:35:21,000 --> 01:35:23,582
云吞煲仔饭，对

1946
01:35:23,583 --> 01:35:26,620
然后一个皮蛋瘦肉干捞粥

1947
01:35:26,625 --> 01:35:28,536
你等一等，你要点吗？

1948
01:35:28,542 --> 01:35:30,908
叉鸡饭

1949
01:35:30,917 --> 01:35:32,327
只鸡要有毛的

1950
01:35:32,333 --> 01:35:33,448
你跟他说

1951
01:35:33,458 --> 01:35:35,574
叉鸡饭的鸡要有毛的，我跟你说

1952
01:35:35,583 --> 01:35:37,119
没有毛我不吃的

1953
01:35:38,000 --> 01:35:39,080
要不要甜品？

1954
01:35:39,667 --> 01:35:42,124
咖喱鱼蛋汤丸

1955
01:35:43,000 --> 01:35:45,457
我要一个韭菜猪红加猪皮的沙冰

1956
01:35:45,458 --> 01:35:46,664
对，快点，谢谢

1957
01:35:47,208 --> 01:35:48,118
好了

1958
01:35:48,583 --> 01:35:49,493
你请客

1959
01:35:51,167 --> 01:35:53,533
你是不是傻了？我请？

1960
01:35:53,542 --> 01:35:55,078
那有人吃鸡要有毛的？

1961
01:35:55,083 --> 01:35:57,165
有毛的白切鸡，你疯了

1962
01:35:57,167 --> 01:35:58,873
有毛好吃呀

1963
01:35:59,083 --> 01:36:01,074
毛有毛味，鸡有鸡味