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Downloaded from
YTS.MX
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Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.MX
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Please put your hands together
for Udom Taephanich!
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I just noticed the neon signs.
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NOTE SO CUTE
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Thank you so much.
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If you're happy and you know it
Clap your hands
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I've really missed being on stage.
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We've missed you too.
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I'm so delighted.
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Can I…
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Can I get more spotlights on me, please?
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I've been craving this.
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I now understand how Srisuwan Janya feels.
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First of all, I'd like to apologize
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for all the procedures
you had to go through to get in here.
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We have to follow government measures.
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It might be a bit annoying.
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The traffic was bad.
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There's a protest
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against someone we want out.
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Well…
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I guess we can forgive the protesters,
since they're protesting on our behalf
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while we are in here putting our feet up.
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I promise
I will slowly make you feel better.
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Well, if we didn't follow the regulations,
we'd have to postpone the show again.
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You see, my team begged me
to leave the temple to do this show.
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The whole company was there.
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The whole company was sitting there,
begging me,
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"It's time you disrobe."
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"Otherwise, you won't have time
to prepare for the show."
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If I disrobed,
and the show got postponed again,
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I think I would probably
never leave the monastery ever again.
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When I was a monk,
I learned so many things.
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It was one of the best decisions
I've ever made in my life.
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So many memorable stories.
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But the most memorable one
in particular was
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the contemplation of death.
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The teachers always said,
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"We're going to die soon."
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When you say it repeatedly every day,
you internalize it.
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Then I came to a realization.
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"My gosh. I'll be dead soon."
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I was born. Now I'm getting old.
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Sickness.
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Now I'm in the sickness stage.
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Those in their 50s will relate.
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We experience things like
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knee pain, leg pain, spinal disc problems,
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indigestion, acid reflux.
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We get checkups,
do things we never thought we had to,
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like getting the tetanus vaccine,
the shingles vaccine,
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getting a colonoscopy, with one tube
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going down your mouth,
the other up your butthole.
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They meet in the middle.
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If you ask me,
I would never want to do this.
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But when the time comes, we just have to.
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Recently, it was pretty bad.
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I went to get a prostate exam.
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You young men, you wouldn't understand.
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When I was your age,
I had no clue what it was.
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But when you reach 50, it's a must.
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I always thought a prostate exam
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was done with a doctor using, you know,
the stethoscope…
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to feel your testicles
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and see if they're beating
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at the right pace, or if there's cancer.
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But it isn't like that at all.
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What they do is they shove a finger
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up your butthole.
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When I found out, I was like, "Holy shit."
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"No way."
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You see?
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I had to find a male doctor immediately.
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I couldn't have some pretty female doctor…
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you know, do this.
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I think you women can relate.
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When you're getting a pap smear
in the stirrups,
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you wouldn't want that done
by a male doctor.
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It's even more embarrassing
if they're cute.
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They're not even your man. You don't know
why the hell you even care.
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Same here.
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So I searched for a male doctor
on the Internet.
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I found Dr. Arkanay.
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I called, gave my name,
and said I'd be there.
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He saw the name "Udom Taephanich."
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So he said, "Mr. Note,
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when you come in, could you please
bring along your merch?"
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"Like some gift sets?"
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"Those blankets, dolls, mugs,
please bring them along."
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And I was like,
"Oh, you're a fan? I'm pleased."
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"No, it's the nurse, my assistant."
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"She loves you. She's a big fan."
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"She's a fangirl, a big one."
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"She'll have your books,
your CD's from back then for you to sign."
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"Bring your merch along."
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So I did.
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When I arrived, she was there
to greet me at the parking lot.
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You know when a fan meets
their celebrity crush?
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She couldn't stay still.
She was like, "Note!"
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She said "Note" in a high-pitched voice.
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So we took photos. I gave her the merch,
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my autograph and all.
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Everything a fan wants. She was overjoyed.
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Then she took me to the exam room.
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It wasn't very big.
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It looks like a room we would expect.
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Then I was asked to take off my pants.
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So I took my pants off
with my top still on.
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I was asked to lie down
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with my arms around my knees, you know?
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Wow. So much participation in the room.
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Let me tell you this.
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I want you to sympathize with me here.
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Doing the stand-up this time
is a whole new experience for me.
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Normally, when I do stand-up,
I would see the audience laughing
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or see their expression, so at least
I can tell if they get the jokes.
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Put yourself in my shoes.
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When I'm looking down from here,
it's all doom and gloom.
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All I see are eyes.
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And all they're doing
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is following me from left to right,
right to left.
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Your eyes won't pop out
and let me know if you get the joke.
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Making people laugh is already a hard job.
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But it's a lot harder when people laugh,
and they hide it.
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Like, "I won't let you know. Whatever."
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Right now, what I see…
Like this girl right here.
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All I see are the eyes and…
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She's like, "Whatever."
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Very scary.
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So please, when I ask something,
please be responsive.
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Just a bit.
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Like, humor me.
Just so I know you get the joke.
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That's what I'm talking about.
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You're very kind. Thank you so much.
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Now, that's better.
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So the doctor told me to lie down
with my arms around my knees like this.
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Imagine me not wearing any pants.
Here's my butthole, right here.
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I was lying in that pose.
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I was nervous about something
going into my butthole.
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Then I heard the sound of latex gloves.
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"Snap, snap."
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At that point,
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I thought the doctor
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had already put some Vaseline on.
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Now,
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I just realized…
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The room was quiet.
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But I just realized it wasn't just me
and the doctor in that room.
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I could sense that
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there was some kind of energy,
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very strong energy.
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This is me,
sensing that it's not just the doc there.
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Something here was
giving off very strong energy.
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So I glanced over.
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There she was: my fangirl.
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My fangirl was standing
not far from my butthole.
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At arm's length.
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I saw her face, and she was fangirling!
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Can you imagine?
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This shouldn't be happening.
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So I covered my butt.
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"Doc, hold on."
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"What is it?"
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I was like,
"I don't think this is appropriate."
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"What's not?"
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"The nurse over there."
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He said, "Come, now.
She's a fan. Let her watch."
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A fan shouldn't see
something like this, right?
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Like,
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if my butthole were an eye,
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we were making direct eye contact.
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A fan shouldn't be seeing
something like this.
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I don't know what her impression of me
was like before this.
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What she remembers me from.
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But, like,
when a fan has seen your butthole,
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your hairy butthole…
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Imagine this.
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Suppose that you're a fan of Nont Tanont,
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Tik Jetsadaporn,
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or maybe Nadech.
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And you,
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you were a nurse,
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and Nont Tanont's butthole was right here.
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This kind of image, once seen,
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it gets imprinted in the cerebrum.
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And the next time you go to his concert
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or walk past him in a department store,
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you won't just see Nont Tanont,
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but you'll see Nont Tanont
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and his hairy butthole.
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His songs will never sound the same again.
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I told the doctor,
"No, Doc. This can't happen."
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"Can you ask her to leave?"
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"Then how are we going to do this?
Someone has to hold the Vaseline."
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I said, "We can do it, the two of us."
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"Here. Put your hand in it. Here."
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The nurse was giggling
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as she walked out.
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I don't know
if she filmed the whole thing.
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After getting some ointment,
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Dr. Arkanay
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shoved his finger up my butthole.
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Oh, my God.
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Like, this hole has always been an exit.
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It's like a one-way street.
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Nothing has gone
in the opposite direction.
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Oh, my. When he started going in,
I was like, "Ow!"
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It was so unpleasant.
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It wasn't easy, not at all.
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When it went in,
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he said, "Relax."
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"Breathe out gently.
The first time is always the hardest."
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Then he pushed it in like this,
all the way.
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Oh, my! Tears were coming out of my eyes.
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He pushed it in.
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That wasn't all.
He then moved his finger around.
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A prostate is like
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a cashew nut.
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There are two of them.
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The doctor feels around for bumps.
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If there are bumps,
cancer is a possibility.
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You might need an operation.
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The doctor rubbed his finger around.
It was uncomfortable and painful.
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More importantly, it was sensitive.
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Tears flowed, but they were happy tears.
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I have to confess,
it awakened the gay side of me.
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I felt like I wanted him
to keep feeling my prostate.
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I'm being honest here.
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The doctor kept moving his finger
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and saying some English words,
explaining this and that.
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I didn't want it to be over.
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This was subconscious.
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When he started to pull out,
without knowing,
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I grabbed his wrist to stop him.
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I could hear that song from TikTok.
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Okay. We've talked about sickness.
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Next is death. It's time.
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I've asked myself,
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"How long would you have to live
to be fully satisfied with your life
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before you die?"
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I contemplated this.
I scribbled on a piece of paper.
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Okay, 65 is a good age for me.
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I feel like 65 is when
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you can die with grace.
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You can still walk,
still have good memory.
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You don't need someone to turn you over,
wash you up, feed you.
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You don't have tubes and stuff
all over you.
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For me, I don't really care about
how long I live.
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Suppose I get a plaque for reaching 130.
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At that age,
I wouldn't know what to do with it.
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I don't care how long I live.
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I do care about
the quality of life while I'm alive.
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I don't want to be that old man
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who lives until he's almost 80.
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00:14:59,960 --> 00:15:02,720
You know? When you go places
and can't walk alone,
257
00:15:02,800 --> 00:15:05,760
you have to have people
on your left and right.
258
00:15:05,840 --> 00:15:07,720
When you go to the polls,
259
00:15:07,800 --> 00:15:09,240
you can barely walk.
260
00:15:09,320 --> 00:15:11,400
You stumble over things.
261
00:15:18,600 --> 00:15:20,360
Or when you're chairing a meeting,
262
00:15:20,440 --> 00:15:22,800
you suddenly doze off
every time you sit down.
263
00:15:28,720 --> 00:15:31,160
When there's a parliamentary debate,
264
00:15:31,240 --> 00:15:33,400
people want your explanation
265
00:15:33,480 --> 00:15:35,720
on your approvals of the budget.
266
00:15:35,800 --> 00:15:38,200
The debating goes on from dusk till dawn.
267
00:15:38,960 --> 00:15:41,320
When it's your turn to provide answers,
268
00:15:42,000 --> 00:15:43,920
someone nudges you. You go…
269
00:15:48,640 --> 00:15:50,520
"That's not true."
270
00:15:51,040 --> 00:15:52,800
And you walk off the stage.
271
00:15:57,560 --> 00:15:58,800
For real?
272
00:15:59,520 --> 00:16:02,320
Is this happening
anywhere else in the world?
273
00:16:02,400 --> 00:16:05,440
People were debating to find answers.
274
00:16:05,520 --> 00:16:08,160
And all you have to say is,
"That's not true"?
275
00:16:08,240 --> 00:16:11,120
If this is what getting old is like,
don't bother.
276
00:16:18,680 --> 00:16:22,440
So I think if I die at 65,
I'll be fine with it.
277
00:16:22,520 --> 00:16:26,200
That means I have only 11 years left.
278
00:16:26,280 --> 00:16:27,960
Now I'm 54.
279
00:16:28,040 --> 00:16:31,280
Only 11 years left on Planet Earth.
280
00:16:32,120 --> 00:16:34,560
Out of the 11 years,
let's cut one off from the start.
281
00:16:34,640 --> 00:16:37,760
This one year, let's consider it spent…
282
00:16:37,840 --> 00:16:39,200
pointlessly.
283
00:16:39,280 --> 00:16:42,040
I think everyone does it:
284
00:16:42,120 --> 00:16:45,560
spending time on pointless shit.
285
00:16:46,160 --> 00:16:47,480
For example,
286
00:16:47,560 --> 00:16:50,040
the time spent browsing Netflix.
287
00:16:56,040 --> 00:16:58,680
Around 9:00 p.m., before bed,
we say to ourselves,
288
00:16:58,760 --> 00:17:00,440
"Let's watch a movie."
289
00:17:00,520 --> 00:17:02,760
"Just one, or we'll be late for work."
290
00:17:05,520 --> 00:17:07,280
First thing we see is "Top Ten."
291
00:17:07,360 --> 00:17:09,640
"I've watched all of these."
292
00:17:09,720 --> 00:17:11,319
"Gangubai, check."
293
00:17:11,400 --> 00:17:14,440
"I've watched this and this."
So we keep searching.
294
00:17:14,520 --> 00:17:16,680
Still haven't found one. Okay.
295
00:17:17,400 --> 00:17:20,000
"Popular." What's popular these days?
Let's take a look.
296
00:17:20,079 --> 00:17:21,720
That one's not for me.
297
00:17:21,800 --> 00:17:24,280
This one's too exciting.
I might not be able to sleep.
298
00:17:24,359 --> 00:17:26,839
No horror movies.
I don't like this actress.
299
00:17:26,920 --> 00:17:29,680
So we keep on searching.
300
00:17:29,760 --> 00:17:31,560
Now, the Oscars section.
301
00:17:31,640 --> 00:17:35,520
These are all old movies.
Oscar-winning movies across the years.
302
00:17:35,600 --> 00:17:37,400
So we keep looking.
303
00:17:37,480 --> 00:17:39,280
We haven't settled on one yet.
304
00:17:39,360 --> 00:17:41,240
Let's check out the K-dramas.
305
00:17:41,320 --> 00:17:44,440
The lead actors are cute.
Okay, "K-dramas."
306
00:17:44,520 --> 00:17:47,560
These look good, but they're too long.
307
00:17:47,640 --> 00:17:49,440
Most of them are series.
308
00:17:49,520 --> 00:17:52,360
If we start watching and get hooked,
309
00:17:53,000 --> 00:17:55,680
we'll be in deep trouble.
310
00:17:55,760 --> 00:17:58,120
We'll probably get to work
at noon tomorrow.
311
00:17:58,200 --> 00:18:00,200
Save these for long weekends only.
312
00:18:00,280 --> 00:18:02,480
So we keep looking. We still can't decide.
313
00:18:02,560 --> 00:18:04,600
Then there's our last resort:
314
00:18:04,680 --> 00:18:06,000
"My List."
315
00:18:07,240 --> 00:18:10,080
We check it out. Gosh. I've saved so many.
316
00:18:10,160 --> 00:18:12,080
Let's see what we have.
317
00:18:12,160 --> 00:18:14,280
Should I watch this one?
318
00:18:14,360 --> 00:18:15,480
Still can't decide.
319
00:18:15,560 --> 00:18:18,320
Eventually, we're like, fine.
320
00:18:18,400 --> 00:18:20,000
Let's "Continue Watching,"
321
00:18:21,080 --> 00:18:22,680
picking up where we left off.
322
00:18:22,760 --> 00:18:25,080
Now that we've made up our mind,
323
00:18:25,160 --> 00:18:27,680
we press play and start watching.
324
00:18:27,760 --> 00:18:29,640
No idea what's going on.
325
00:18:29,720 --> 00:18:32,920
We don't know where we left off, exactly.
We've watched too many.
326
00:18:33,000 --> 00:18:35,880
We don't remember
what happened before this scene.
327
00:18:35,960 --> 00:18:38,120
Fine. Let's start from the beginning.
328
00:18:38,200 --> 00:18:39,920
We go back to the first episode.
329
00:18:40,000 --> 00:18:41,680
Now that we're about to watch…
330
00:18:44,000 --> 00:18:45,720
We fall asleep, remote in hand.
331
00:18:45,800 --> 00:18:48,400
This is time spent pointlessly.
332
00:18:49,640 --> 00:18:53,000
Time spent even more pointlessly
is the time you spend
333
00:18:53,080 --> 00:18:56,120
scrolling through your phone, being nosy.
334
00:18:57,280 --> 00:18:58,760
Well, well.
335
00:19:00,600 --> 00:19:03,600
That's a lot of time.
That's a lot of time each day.
336
00:19:03,680 --> 00:19:05,920
Forget about TikTok and stuff.
337
00:19:06,000 --> 00:19:08,680
Just the time you spend watching Engfa…
338
00:19:10,720 --> 00:19:12,440
And many others doing this dance.
339
00:19:12,520 --> 00:19:14,440
You can't stop watching.
340
00:19:14,520 --> 00:19:16,440
Especially on Instagram.
341
00:19:16,520 --> 00:19:18,720
On Instagram, you'll see
342
00:19:18,800 --> 00:19:21,200
celebrities popping up
343
00:19:21,280 --> 00:19:23,840
for you to choose whose life
you want to pry into today.
344
00:19:23,920 --> 00:19:26,000
Okay, this one. What?
345
00:19:26,080 --> 00:19:28,520
She's pregnant? Who's the father?
346
00:19:28,600 --> 00:19:30,840
Oh, they got engaged here.
347
00:19:30,920 --> 00:19:33,800
Damn, her husband is so rich.
Who is he? Let me see.
348
00:19:33,880 --> 00:19:35,200
Oh, this guy.
349
00:19:35,280 --> 00:19:37,760
Okay, let's go back.
Where were they engaged?
350
00:19:37,840 --> 00:19:40,520
Wow, they went to this resort
for their honeymoon.
351
00:19:40,600 --> 00:19:42,760
Let me save this
so I can go there sometime.
352
00:19:42,840 --> 00:19:45,400
They got cake from this place. So chic.
353
00:19:45,480 --> 00:19:48,080
What is she wearing?
I'll order this outfit too.
354
00:19:48,160 --> 00:19:50,280
How about the shoes? Amina Muaddi.
355
00:19:50,360 --> 00:19:52,920
Amina Muaddi? What brand is that?
356
00:19:53,760 --> 00:19:55,560
Sounds like, you know,
357
00:19:55,640 --> 00:19:57,880
someone who sells chicken biryani.
358
00:19:58,520 --> 00:20:01,000
Amina Muaddi? Is that a brand?
359
00:20:01,080 --> 00:20:03,800
So you google it, and there it is:
360
00:20:03,880 --> 00:20:05,360
Amina Muaddi.
361
00:20:05,440 --> 00:20:08,520
When you google stuff, you'll get ads too.
362
00:20:09,840 --> 00:20:13,400
It's 1,850 baht on Lazada.
363
00:20:13,480 --> 00:20:16,800
Shopee, 815 baht. That's not bad.
364
00:20:17,440 --> 00:20:20,640
Moving on.
You open up Shopee, and there it is.
365
00:20:20,720 --> 00:20:22,920
Amina Muaddi pops up.
366
00:20:23,000 --> 00:20:25,880
But under the shoes you'll see
"Related Items."
367
00:20:27,080 --> 00:20:29,320
You waste no time.
You check out the suggestions
368
00:20:29,400 --> 00:20:30,800
and see mosquito swatters.
369
00:20:32,160 --> 00:20:33,400
How are these related?
370
00:20:33,480 --> 00:20:35,440
Then you remember
371
00:20:35,520 --> 00:20:38,440
you were looking to buy
a mosquito swatter last week.
372
00:20:38,520 --> 00:20:40,240
You were just checking it out.
373
00:20:40,320 --> 00:20:43,280
But now, damn, it's only 199 baht.
374
00:20:43,360 --> 00:20:46,640
And it's a new model that you can just
place it on its charging stand,
375
00:20:47,720 --> 00:20:49,640
and the purple light will turn on.
376
00:20:50,320 --> 00:20:53,560
This means while it's charging,
it's also attracting mosquitoes.
377
00:20:54,160 --> 00:20:57,640
When fully charged, you pick it up
and swing it. Kills everything.
378
00:20:57,720 --> 00:20:59,080
This is a must-have.
379
00:21:00,080 --> 00:21:01,760
So you put it in the cart.
380
00:21:02,480 --> 00:21:06,120
Now you're happy.
Then it says, "Buy two, get 15% off."
381
00:21:09,480 --> 00:21:11,040
This can't be ignored.
382
00:21:11,120 --> 00:21:12,720
There's a discount right there.
383
00:21:12,800 --> 00:21:14,600
Okay, let me check it out.
384
00:21:15,200 --> 00:21:18,080
Same shop. Let's see. "Related items." Oh.
385
00:21:18,160 --> 00:21:19,600
Sticky fly traps.
386
00:21:19,680 --> 00:21:21,280
Sticky fly traps
387
00:21:21,360 --> 00:21:23,400
at 100 sheets for 150 baht.
388
00:21:23,480 --> 00:21:25,640
That's just over 1 baht a piece.
389
00:21:25,720 --> 00:21:28,120
Why wait for the 11.11.11 promotion?
390
00:21:28,200 --> 00:21:30,200
I can buy it now and get the discount.
391
00:21:30,280 --> 00:21:32,880
You add it to cart.
Now you have two items.
392
00:21:33,600 --> 00:21:36,400
Then it says,
"Buy three, get free delivery."
393
00:21:38,840 --> 00:21:41,680
Again, what are we waiting for?
You continue shopping.
394
00:21:41,760 --> 00:21:45,320
Now, the next item won't be
something that you want.
395
00:21:45,400 --> 00:21:48,480
It'll only serve to fill up
that emptiness inside you.
396
00:21:48,560 --> 00:21:49,760
You keep scrolling.
397
00:21:49,840 --> 00:21:52,760
You see a blackhead remover.
A blackhead remover.
398
00:21:52,840 --> 00:21:56,120
Are you crazy?
It also comes with a charging cable
399
00:21:56,200 --> 00:21:57,640
for 99 baht.
400
00:21:57,720 --> 00:22:01,160
Insane. This would normally cost
a thousand. Or at least 500 or 300.
401
00:22:01,240 --> 00:22:04,040
It's 99 baht.
Suddenly, you feel blackheads popping up.
402
00:22:04,880 --> 00:22:08,200
You add it to the cart.
There, three items. Now you're happy.
403
00:22:08,280 --> 00:22:11,480
This is a woman's life.
Now you can sleep peacefully.
404
00:22:12,640 --> 00:22:14,280
Did you get the shoes yet?
405
00:22:14,960 --> 00:22:18,600
The thing about women is when they
want something and they don't have it,
406
00:22:19,320 --> 00:22:21,200
it leaves a hole in their heart.
407
00:22:21,280 --> 00:22:24,760
They will feel that there's something
missing from their feet.
408
00:22:24,840 --> 00:22:27,840
At work, they feel something's missing,
but they don't know what.
409
00:22:27,920 --> 00:22:29,960
Some name pops up. They ask a friend:
410
00:22:30,040 --> 00:22:33,840
"Do you know anything by the name
of Amina something? Any clue?"
411
00:22:33,920 --> 00:22:36,440
The friend's like, "Who doesn't?"
412
00:22:36,520 --> 00:22:38,960
"Here, look. This is Mo Amena."
413
00:22:39,680 --> 00:22:42,240
"She's super famous.
She got married twice:
414
00:22:42,320 --> 00:22:44,320
first to a guy, then to a butch."
415
00:22:44,400 --> 00:22:47,280
"She says the butch is better."
"Better how? Let's dig into this."
416
00:22:49,120 --> 00:22:50,960
And on it goes.
417
00:22:51,040 --> 00:22:52,360
What about the shoes?
418
00:22:52,440 --> 00:22:54,720
This is time spent pointlessly.
419
00:22:55,760 --> 00:22:59,560
The most pointless time-wasting activity,
the number one for me,
420
00:23:01,480 --> 00:23:03,040
are pimple-popping videos.
421
00:23:13,000 --> 00:23:15,040
"My Favorites."
422
00:23:16,080 --> 00:23:18,600
Don't ever go down that road. Believe me.
423
00:23:18,680 --> 00:23:20,200
There's no turning back.
424
00:23:21,320 --> 00:23:23,600
For those who don't know, these are clips
425
00:23:23,680 --> 00:23:28,040
framed with pastel roses.
426
00:23:28,760 --> 00:23:31,520
Why roses? Maybe to soften
the violence in the content,
427
00:23:31,600 --> 00:23:33,200
to tone down the aggressiveness.
428
00:23:33,280 --> 00:23:34,880
These are clips of people
429
00:23:34,960 --> 00:23:38,200
just blatantly and tactlessly
popping pimples.
430
00:23:38,280 --> 00:23:41,760
A close-up shot of pimple popping
on the face, the nose, the chin.
431
00:23:41,840 --> 00:23:43,840
You're zoomed in on the pimples.
432
00:23:46,840 --> 00:23:48,560
A three-dimensional view.
433
00:23:48,640 --> 00:23:51,440
And there are all kinds of pimple heads.
434
00:23:52,960 --> 00:23:56,040
Be it blackheads…
Not regular blackheads, mind you.
435
00:23:56,120 --> 00:23:57,360
These are really dark.
436
00:23:57,440 --> 00:24:01,520
Imagine the skin of an overripe jackfruit,
with black spikes scrunched together.
437
00:24:01,600 --> 00:24:05,200
You go, "This can't be real.
No, this is not real."
438
00:24:05,280 --> 00:24:09,160
They use a needle to prick the tips
of the pimple heads to make way.
439
00:24:09,240 --> 00:24:11,920
Then they pop them
using their hand or a tool.
440
00:24:12,000 --> 00:24:13,680
As they're popping them,
441
00:24:14,400 --> 00:24:17,840
you'll see pimples oozing out
like dozens of worms.
442
00:24:21,600 --> 00:24:23,640
There are also big ones.
443
00:24:23,720 --> 00:24:26,120
Not your normal big.
444
00:24:26,960 --> 00:24:28,120
Oh, my.
445
00:24:29,280 --> 00:24:33,360
These are as big as your ankle.
They're that huge.
446
00:24:33,440 --> 00:24:36,000
They use a scalpel to cut the skin
and squeeze it out.
447
00:24:36,080 --> 00:24:38,480
Then it explodes
just like hot spring eggs.
448
00:24:38,560 --> 00:24:42,360
When you see it slowly oozing out,
you want to throw up. You know?
449
00:24:43,440 --> 00:24:46,120
My staff watches them,
and I call them freaks.
450
00:24:46,960 --> 00:24:48,960
"You freaks. You are all freaks."
451
00:24:49,040 --> 00:24:52,640
As I scolded them, I did some research
to find out why people watch it.
452
00:24:52,720 --> 00:24:54,000
How it all began.
453
00:24:54,080 --> 00:24:55,880
I couldn't blindly scold them.
454
00:24:56,560 --> 00:24:59,760
I found that it started
with a female doctor
455
00:24:59,840 --> 00:25:03,080
in the US who removes abscesses.
456
00:25:03,160 --> 00:25:07,280
In other countries,
these aesthetic procedures
457
00:25:07,360 --> 00:25:10,600
are not covered
by their universal health care.
458
00:25:10,680 --> 00:25:11,920
You know?
459
00:25:12,000 --> 00:25:14,960
The homeless or people with low income
460
00:25:15,040 --> 00:25:17,400
don't have resources for these services.
461
00:25:17,480 --> 00:25:19,680
So the doctor offers free service.
462
00:25:19,760 --> 00:25:22,440
In exchange,
she'll film it and put it on the Internet.
463
00:25:22,520 --> 00:25:23,880
What does the doctor get?
464
00:25:23,960 --> 00:25:25,520
She gets views.
465
00:25:25,600 --> 00:25:27,160
She mentioned during an interview
466
00:25:27,240 --> 00:25:30,160
that as soon as a clip's posted,
it gets over 100,000 views.
467
00:25:30,240 --> 00:25:32,120
After a few days, it reaches a million.
468
00:25:32,200 --> 00:25:35,120
She has around
five or six million followers.
469
00:25:35,200 --> 00:25:39,000
I guess that means
we're not the only freaks here.
470
00:25:40,240 --> 00:25:42,800
Then I asked myself,
471
00:25:42,880 --> 00:25:46,040
how do I feel when I watch it?
472
00:25:46,120 --> 00:25:47,920
Why am I watching it?
473
00:25:48,000 --> 00:25:51,160
I guess it's the same feeling that I get
from eating roasted Babylon snails.
474
00:25:51,240 --> 00:25:55,120
With roasted Babylon snails,
we take a toothpick,
475
00:25:55,200 --> 00:25:56,560
put it in the shell,
476
00:25:56,640 --> 00:26:01,480
and we try to take its meat out whole.
477
00:26:02,240 --> 00:26:04,800
The whole thing.
The black feces at the tip as well.
478
00:26:04,880 --> 00:26:06,840
Even though you don't eat its feces,
479
00:26:06,920 --> 00:26:09,760
you have to get
the whole thing out perfectly.
480
00:26:09,840 --> 00:26:14,080
Just like when they pop a pimple,
and the head is only halfway out.
481
00:26:15,600 --> 00:26:18,240
"You've got to do better
with the next one."
482
00:26:23,000 --> 00:26:26,120
It just keeps you on the edge
of your seat,
483
00:26:26,200 --> 00:26:27,760
and you can't stop.
484
00:26:27,840 --> 00:26:30,800
The next thing you know,
it's been an hour.
485
00:26:31,600 --> 00:26:35,320
I went down the rabbit hole
and got into the hard stuff,
486
00:26:35,400 --> 00:26:37,160
like removing ingrown toenails.
487
00:26:42,400 --> 00:26:46,640
For those of you who haven't been there,
you'd probably go, "Ew."
488
00:26:46,720 --> 00:26:49,880
But trust me. When you get out of here
and back to your phone,
489
00:26:49,960 --> 00:26:51,240
you're a goner.
490
00:26:53,440 --> 00:26:55,680
That is time spent pointlessly.
491
00:26:55,760 --> 00:26:59,920
I cut out one year,
so now I have 10 years left.
492
00:27:00,000 --> 00:27:02,120
Putting it into days would be…
493
00:27:03,160 --> 00:27:04,960
3,650 days.
494
00:27:06,080 --> 00:27:09,280
Let's say we spend
30% of that time sleeping.
495
00:27:09,360 --> 00:27:14,480
So now we are left with only 2,555 days.
496
00:27:15,280 --> 00:27:18,000
It hit me hard when I realized
497
00:27:18,080 --> 00:27:20,960
I only have this much time left on Earth.
498
00:27:21,040 --> 00:27:24,000
How am I going to spend it?
499
00:27:24,080 --> 00:27:27,440
I started making a list
of things I want to do.
500
00:27:28,640 --> 00:27:29,760
That's on one side.
501
00:27:29,840 --> 00:27:32,880
And things I don't want to do and feel
are a waste of time.
502
00:27:32,960 --> 00:27:35,560
The things I won't do anymore.
What are they?
503
00:27:36,520 --> 00:27:38,760
I won't go to birthday parties anymore.
504
00:27:38,840 --> 00:27:41,040
I'm so sick of them.
505
00:27:41,120 --> 00:27:44,080
It's been 54 years since I was born.
506
00:27:44,160 --> 00:27:47,640
Since I was a kid, I've never hosted
my birthday party. Not even once.
507
00:27:47,720 --> 00:27:50,360
As a kid,
maybe it was because we were poor.
508
00:27:50,440 --> 00:27:53,800
As I got older,
other people would throw a party for me.
509
00:27:54,480 --> 00:27:56,080
I've never really enjoyed it
510
00:27:56,160 --> 00:27:59,240
when they bring out a cake
and ask me to make a wish.
511
00:27:59,320 --> 00:28:02,800
Every time, I wish for them
to stop with the birthday surprises.
512
00:28:03,520 --> 00:28:05,160
Because nothing surprises me anymore.
513
00:28:05,240 --> 00:28:06,840
How can I be surprised
514
00:28:06,920 --> 00:28:09,240
when every year,
as my birthday is approaching,
515
00:28:09,320 --> 00:28:11,080
someone will ask me out for dinner.
516
00:28:12,040 --> 00:28:15,240
The table will be unusually big.
More people than usual will come.
517
00:28:15,320 --> 00:28:17,480
And while we're eating,
the light goes out.
518
00:28:18,480 --> 00:28:21,760
They bring out the cake and sing
Happy birthday…
519
00:28:22,920 --> 00:28:24,080
It never sounds good.
520
00:28:24,160 --> 00:28:26,480
Never in the same key.
Not harmonious in any way.
521
00:28:26,560 --> 00:28:27,600
The drunk will go…
522
00:28:30,000 --> 00:28:31,160
Very noisy.
523
00:28:31,240 --> 00:28:34,080
When they put the cake in front of me,
there we go.
524
00:28:34,680 --> 00:28:36,080
A fan's blowing.
525
00:28:37,920 --> 00:28:39,360
Candles go out.
526
00:28:39,440 --> 00:28:43,840
While they're relighting the candles,
I just stand waiting for the surprise.
527
00:28:45,280 --> 00:28:47,800
They're like,
"Who has a lighter? Come here."
528
00:28:47,880 --> 00:28:50,400
As they light this one up,
that one goes out.
529
00:28:51,240 --> 00:28:52,560
It's very annoying.
530
00:28:52,640 --> 00:28:54,760
Then I blow the candles.
531
00:28:55,520 --> 00:28:57,160
I don't find it exciting at all.
532
00:28:57,240 --> 00:29:01,000
And it's even worse
if you're at one of those big restaurants,
533
00:29:01,080 --> 00:29:02,520
and people share a birthday.
534
00:29:02,600 --> 00:29:05,760
I find it embarrassing.
That table would go, Happy birthday
535
00:29:05,840 --> 00:29:08,760
and the band has to play
the "Happy Birthday" song.
536
00:29:08,840 --> 00:29:11,560
Not long after that, this table goes,
Happy birthday…
537
00:29:11,640 --> 00:29:14,040
Then another would go, Happy birthday…
538
00:29:14,120 --> 00:29:16,680
Five birthday tables. I just don't get it.
539
00:29:16,760 --> 00:29:18,440
Don't you feel bad for the band
540
00:29:18,520 --> 00:29:21,160
when they have to repeatedly
play that damn song?
541
00:29:21,240 --> 00:29:24,360
Don't you think they're sick of it?
And why ask for another round?
542
00:29:24,440 --> 00:29:26,720
The first time wasn't enough, you idiots?
543
00:29:32,760 --> 00:29:34,400
Enough with birthdays.
544
00:29:34,480 --> 00:29:36,440
Now let's talk about weddings.
545
00:29:36,520 --> 00:29:38,400
I won't go to those anymore either.
546
00:29:38,480 --> 00:29:41,800
Don't bother sending me invitations.
547
00:29:41,880 --> 00:29:45,240
My staff knows very well
that I won't attend their weddings.
548
00:29:45,320 --> 00:29:46,800
But instead,
549
00:29:47,480 --> 00:29:49,640
I'll send them monetary gifts.
550
00:29:50,400 --> 00:29:53,360
Well, you see,
551
00:29:54,760 --> 00:29:56,200
let me be honest.
552
00:29:56,280 --> 00:29:58,920
I've never been happy for the newlyweds.
553
00:30:00,720 --> 00:30:02,880
I'm jealous of them.
554
00:30:04,480 --> 00:30:06,000
You see,
555
00:30:06,080 --> 00:30:07,840
you got what you want.
556
00:30:07,920 --> 00:30:09,520
You're happy with life.
557
00:30:09,600 --> 00:30:11,600
You've found your soul mate.
558
00:30:11,680 --> 00:30:13,520
What about me?
559
00:30:14,560 --> 00:30:17,680
I go to your wedding, give you my money,
560
00:30:17,760 --> 00:30:19,960
so I can feel bad about myself
561
00:30:21,680 --> 00:30:23,760
at your wedding reception.
562
00:30:23,840 --> 00:30:27,760
That doesn't make any sense.
I have to watch your wedding presentation,
563
00:30:27,840 --> 00:30:31,680
telling a story of how you met,
fell in love, the entire history.
564
00:30:31,760 --> 00:30:34,880
Then you got engaged
in front of the Eiffel Tower.
565
00:30:34,960 --> 00:30:37,800
In the videos,
the woman has no clue what's happening.
566
00:30:37,880 --> 00:30:41,080
No clue, my ass. What's with the dress
with the long-ass train?
567
00:30:41,840 --> 00:30:43,000
You feel me?
568
00:30:46,040 --> 00:30:47,360
I'm so sick of it.
569
00:30:49,040 --> 00:30:54,560
The last wedding I attended,
which will probably be the last one,
570
00:30:54,640 --> 00:30:57,080
was Toon and Koi's wedding.
571
00:30:57,160 --> 00:31:00,440
I went because I love them.
572
00:31:00,520 --> 00:31:03,200
I have unconditional love for them.
573
00:31:03,280 --> 00:31:05,240
I was assigned
574
00:31:05,320 --> 00:31:09,160
to manage the stage and stuff like that,
575
00:31:09,240 --> 00:31:12,240
and acted as the emcee.
576
00:31:12,320 --> 00:31:13,840
So,
577
00:31:13,920 --> 00:31:15,400
in the afternoon,
578
00:31:15,480 --> 00:31:20,400
there was a water-pouring ceremony
to give blessings to the bride and groom.
579
00:31:20,480 --> 00:31:22,360
There were many guests…
580
00:31:22,440 --> 00:31:24,320
respected people and close friends.
581
00:31:24,400 --> 00:31:26,440
There were about this many people.
582
00:31:26,520 --> 00:31:29,000
About this chunk right here.
583
00:31:29,080 --> 00:31:30,960
They were sitting just like this.
584
00:31:31,040 --> 00:31:33,720
Names were being called,
and they were famous people.
585
00:31:33,800 --> 00:31:36,600
Those in the music industry,
586
00:31:36,680 --> 00:31:39,400
politicians, or even famous artists.
587
00:31:39,480 --> 00:31:41,800
"Mr. Aed Carabao, please come to the stage
588
00:31:42,840 --> 00:31:46,560
to pour water and give words of wisdom
to the newlyweds."
589
00:31:46,640 --> 00:31:50,040
You know? I didn't think
they would call out my name,
590
00:31:50,720 --> 00:31:53,640
because I wasn't on the list.
591
00:31:53,720 --> 00:31:56,760
I was just standing there by the stage,
doing my thing.
592
00:31:56,840 --> 00:32:00,880
"Udom Taephanich, please come to the stage
to pour water and give words of wisdom."
593
00:32:00,960 --> 00:32:02,360
I was like, "No."
594
00:32:02,960 --> 00:32:04,800
"No, it's okay. It's all right."
595
00:32:05,680 --> 00:32:09,640
I'm a firm believer that you shouldn't
give to others what you don't have.
596
00:32:10,520 --> 00:32:13,360
What words of wisdom do I have to offer?
None.
597
00:32:13,440 --> 00:32:15,520
So I was like, "No, it's okay."
598
00:32:15,600 --> 00:32:17,960
"Mr. Udom Taephanich,
please come to the stage."
599
00:32:19,000 --> 00:32:21,600
Then there was this silence
at the ceremony.
600
00:32:22,600 --> 00:32:24,480
"Move on to other people."
601
00:32:24,560 --> 00:32:26,360
I acted like nothing happened.
602
00:32:26,440 --> 00:32:28,840
"Mr. Udom Taephanich,
please come to the stage."
603
00:32:32,720 --> 00:32:35,720
Toon and Koi were here.
604
00:32:35,800 --> 00:32:37,960
Here were the pillows
to support their arms.
605
00:32:38,040 --> 00:32:40,000
And they put their hands here
606
00:32:40,080 --> 00:32:42,360
for people to pour water on them.
607
00:32:42,440 --> 00:32:45,320
Their hands were pale,
like their nails were falling off.
608
00:32:46,840 --> 00:32:49,480
I was like, "Damn it." And so I went.
609
00:32:49,560 --> 00:32:52,440
People were watching,
just like you're watching me now.
610
00:32:52,520 --> 00:32:53,520
I was like,
611
00:32:55,000 --> 00:32:56,000
"Toon."
612
00:32:57,360 --> 00:33:00,360
Toon was waiting for my words of wisdom.
Both of them were.
613
00:33:00,440 --> 00:33:03,560
I said to him, "Toon.
I don't have any wisdom for you."
614
00:33:04,520 --> 00:33:05,560
"The thing is,
615
00:33:06,400 --> 00:33:09,440
I wanted to wish you happiness,
616
00:33:09,520 --> 00:33:12,160
but you two are already happy."
617
00:33:12,240 --> 00:33:13,720
"You're perfect together."
618
00:33:13,800 --> 00:33:16,400
"You have a good and beautiful wife."
619
00:33:16,480 --> 00:33:18,040
"You're compatible."
620
00:33:18,120 --> 00:33:21,960
"You both have status, fame,
prestige, wisdom."
621
00:33:22,040 --> 00:33:23,480
"You enjoy each other's company."
622
00:33:23,560 --> 00:33:26,840
"Both of you are good looking.
You're a perfect match."
623
00:33:26,920 --> 00:33:29,240
"And me? Look at me."
624
00:33:32,320 --> 00:33:36,200
"Toon, I believe firmly that we shouldn't
give to others what we don't have."
625
00:33:36,280 --> 00:33:39,480
"Otherwise, it's just like a fat person
trying to teach someone
626
00:33:39,560 --> 00:33:41,200
how to get slim, you know?"
627
00:33:41,960 --> 00:33:43,520
"You know what I mean?"
628
00:33:43,600 --> 00:33:45,120
Toon was like,
629
00:33:45,200 --> 00:33:48,960
"Well, what should we do now?"
630
00:33:49,800 --> 00:33:51,800
So I said, "All right, I have an idea."
631
00:33:51,880 --> 00:33:54,240
"How about you two give me
words of wisdom?"
632
00:34:08,040 --> 00:34:10,840
The photographer managed
to capture the moment.
633
00:34:10,920 --> 00:34:14,800
We didn't plan this at all.
This really happened.
634
00:34:15,360 --> 00:34:18,840
Toon was a bit uncomfortable at first,
but he ended up doing it, saying,
635
00:34:19,760 --> 00:34:22,920
"Note, I hope that
636
00:34:23,520 --> 00:34:26,760
you find the right person someday."
637
00:34:28,400 --> 00:34:30,080
We were all confused.
638
00:34:44,840 --> 00:34:45,880
See.
639
00:34:47,560 --> 00:34:50,800
Even when you take a sip of water,
people won't stop looking at you.
640
00:34:53,920 --> 00:34:56,760
You're making it worth every penny,
aren't you?
641
00:35:01,440 --> 00:35:03,160
Did you buy the doll?
642
00:35:03,240 --> 00:35:04,840
That's cute. Can I see it?
643
00:35:07,480 --> 00:35:09,120
So cute. Look.
644
00:35:10,560 --> 00:35:12,120
Is this for me? Thank you.
645
00:35:13,000 --> 00:35:14,120
I want one too.
646
00:35:21,040 --> 00:35:23,640
Just now, while I was talking…
647
00:35:23,720 --> 00:35:26,960
When I'm on stage and see someone I know,
648
00:35:27,040 --> 00:35:28,760
I will get distracted,
649
00:35:28,840 --> 00:35:32,440
lose my focus,
and forget what I was going to say.
650
00:35:32,520 --> 00:35:35,640
Just now, I saw Tony Jaa
somewhere around here.
651
00:35:35,720 --> 00:35:38,760
Here, right? Where is Tony Jaa?
652
00:35:38,840 --> 00:35:41,760
There he is. Tony Jaa. Hi. I missed you.
653
00:35:41,840 --> 00:35:45,240
Thanks for coming.
Let's hear it for my favorite guy.
654
00:35:46,440 --> 00:35:47,520
He's the best.
655
00:35:53,480 --> 00:35:55,760
I visited Tony Jaa at home.
656
00:35:56,720 --> 00:36:00,000
How long ago was that when I went there?
657
00:36:00,080 --> 00:36:01,960
Oh, this will be a very long story.
658
00:36:02,040 --> 00:36:03,840
You'll all get home late.
659
00:36:04,800 --> 00:36:07,080
It's something that I'll never forget.
660
00:36:07,640 --> 00:36:10,480
-Well…
-Tell the story.
661
00:36:12,840 --> 00:36:16,120
It isn't that funny. It's a bit personal.
662
00:36:16,200 --> 00:36:18,520
All right. I'll tell you very briefly.
663
00:36:18,600 --> 00:36:21,680
Tony Jaa invited me to dinner,
664
00:36:21,760 --> 00:36:23,520
and I wanted to see his place.
665
00:36:23,600 --> 00:36:27,240
I wanted to see what his home was like.
So we arranged the dinner.
666
00:36:27,320 --> 00:36:30,000
We invited Singto Numchok
and Kong Huayrai.
667
00:36:30,080 --> 00:36:32,240
The three of us
were having dinner at Tony Jaa's.
668
00:36:32,320 --> 00:36:34,080
We were looking forward to it.
669
00:36:34,160 --> 00:36:37,280
During that time in my life,
670
00:36:37,360 --> 00:36:39,920
I really wanted to have a girlfriend.
671
00:36:40,000 --> 00:36:41,320
You know?
672
00:36:41,400 --> 00:36:44,760
I wanted a girlfriend so bad,
my staff had to hold a meeting
673
00:36:45,600 --> 00:36:47,920
to figure out how to make this happen.
674
00:36:48,000 --> 00:36:50,840
There were around 15 of them
in the meeting.
675
00:36:50,920 --> 00:36:53,480
"You have to go on Tinder."
676
00:36:53,560 --> 00:36:56,400
"Swipe left and right."
They even taught me how to do it.
677
00:36:56,480 --> 00:36:59,760
"Come, let me create an account for you.
Go premium."
678
00:36:59,840 --> 00:37:03,360
I'd never used any of these apps,
I didn't even have TikTok.
679
00:37:03,440 --> 00:37:05,840
My staff created the accounts
I have today.
680
00:37:05,920 --> 00:37:08,520
They were like,
"Go ahead, create your profile."
681
00:37:08,600 --> 00:37:10,160
"What do I upload?" I asked.
682
00:37:10,240 --> 00:37:13,040
"Three photos.
We'll choose the good ones for you."
683
00:37:13,120 --> 00:37:15,280
They chose some cool photos I've taken.
684
00:37:15,360 --> 00:37:16,640
"Okay, sure."
685
00:37:16,720 --> 00:37:19,920
Then they said,
"There are different age ranges."
686
00:37:20,000 --> 00:37:22,240
I was like,
"Let me see which range I'm in."
687
00:37:22,320 --> 00:37:26,320
So they showed me.
"You belong in the 50s age range."
688
00:37:27,440 --> 00:37:30,000
I swiped through the profiles and went,
"Oh my."
689
00:37:31,160 --> 00:37:34,520
At this rate, I'll be matching
with people in nursing homes.
690
00:37:38,400 --> 00:37:41,600
It was bad. So I told them,
"This is not going to work."
691
00:37:41,680 --> 00:37:43,800
"This seems all right," they said.
692
00:37:43,880 --> 00:37:46,440
-"Seems all right" means what?
-It's not all right.
693
00:37:46,520 --> 00:37:49,000
If it were an old, white lady,
that might be okay.
694
00:37:49,080 --> 00:37:52,960
I was like, "How can I possibly
get a match here?"
695
00:37:53,040 --> 00:37:57,360
They said, "We'll get a premium upgrade
so we can see their profiles first.
696
00:37:57,440 --> 00:38:00,000
Then you can see if you like them.
697
00:38:00,080 --> 00:38:03,120
If you do, you swipe and make a match."
698
00:38:03,200 --> 00:38:06,160
As I was getting started,
another staff objected, saying,
699
00:38:06,240 --> 00:38:09,520
"No. Don't let the boss
go down that road."
700
00:38:09,600 --> 00:38:13,360
"How can we know
if the girl is really okay?"
701
00:38:13,440 --> 00:38:16,640
"Like, she might look young…
702
00:38:16,720 --> 00:38:19,240
let's say a bit over 30."
703
00:38:19,320 --> 00:38:22,960
"But when you start a conversation,
what would do you if,
704
00:38:23,040 --> 00:38:25,880
scenario one,
she doesn't believe it's you?"
705
00:38:26,880 --> 00:38:28,120
"Right."
706
00:38:28,200 --> 00:38:30,040
Let's imagine if this were you.
707
00:38:30,960 --> 00:38:34,560
You're swiping,
and you see Note Udom with a six-pack.
708
00:38:38,360 --> 00:38:41,040
Let's say you matched with Note Udom,
709
00:38:41,120 --> 00:38:42,880
and he starts a conversation.
710
00:38:42,960 --> 00:38:44,720
"Hello." "Who's this?"
711
00:38:44,800 --> 00:38:46,800
"I'm Note Udom." "Screw you."
712
00:38:48,600 --> 00:38:52,240
"Stop messing with me.
Note wouldn't mess around like this."
713
00:38:53,520 --> 00:38:55,200
"Are you one of those scammers?"
714
00:38:56,960 --> 00:38:59,000
You know what I mean? It's like that.
715
00:38:59,080 --> 00:39:03,400
So I said, "We could just do a video call,
so they can see me."
716
00:39:03,480 --> 00:39:05,920
"We could just call them
if they don't buy it."
717
00:39:06,000 --> 00:39:09,640
The staff said, "We don't know if they…
What if you say something…"
718
00:39:09,720 --> 00:39:12,080
"What if they record the call
719
00:39:12,160 --> 00:39:16,200
and post it on the Internet
or use that to blackmail you?"
720
00:39:16,280 --> 00:39:19,040
"I'm not scared."
They were like, "Who knows?"
721
00:39:19,120 --> 00:39:21,920
"What if you accidentally send them
a photo of your dick?"
722
00:39:23,880 --> 00:39:25,240
Who, me?
723
00:39:26,160 --> 00:39:27,480
That's a given.
724
00:39:31,200 --> 00:39:33,840
For real. That's my selling point.
725
00:39:38,440 --> 00:39:41,320
The staff insisted,
"No, you can't do this."
726
00:39:41,400 --> 00:39:43,960
"You can't use apps.
Let's try something less wild."
727
00:39:44,040 --> 00:39:45,840
Then they showed me this page,
728
00:39:46,800 --> 00:39:47,800
"PlayQpid."
729
00:39:48,560 --> 00:39:50,200
You've probably heard of it.
730
00:39:50,280 --> 00:39:52,440
It's a low-key matchmaking page
731
00:39:52,520 --> 00:39:55,120
for those looking for love.
732
00:39:55,200 --> 00:39:57,240
There's a post for each person,
733
00:39:57,920 --> 00:40:01,800
detailing their preferences,
what they like and stuff.
734
00:40:01,880 --> 00:40:03,480
So my crew went through them.
735
00:40:03,560 --> 00:40:05,720
"Look, this one. Early 30s."
736
00:40:05,800 --> 00:40:07,120
"This one here."
737
00:40:07,200 --> 00:40:09,080
"She looks like a good match, boss."
738
00:40:09,160 --> 00:40:11,640
"She likes someone
with a good sense of humor."
739
00:40:11,720 --> 00:40:13,960
You know? "Mature and caring."
740
00:40:14,040 --> 00:40:15,680
That sounds like me.
741
00:40:17,720 --> 00:40:21,600
It also said, "She prefers someone
who's taller than 5'8."
742
00:40:26,200 --> 00:40:28,480
Doesn't matter. We can give it a go.
743
00:40:28,560 --> 00:40:32,640
I can put something in my shoes
or stay on my toes like this.
744
00:40:32,720 --> 00:40:34,320
So I told my staff,
745
00:40:34,400 --> 00:40:37,520
"Go ahead. Send her a text."
746
00:40:38,480 --> 00:40:40,760
My staff, Nell, texted her.
747
00:40:40,840 --> 00:40:43,000
"Hello. I saw your post."
748
00:40:43,080 --> 00:40:44,440
And so on.
749
00:40:44,520 --> 00:40:47,320
"I see that you're looking for someone.
I have someone."
750
00:40:47,400 --> 00:40:49,280
"He's like a brother to me."
751
00:40:49,360 --> 00:40:52,280
"He would really love to get to know you,
752
00:40:52,360 --> 00:40:54,640
and he thinks
he's what you're looking for."
753
00:40:54,720 --> 00:40:56,720
"Would you be interested?"
754
00:40:56,800 --> 00:40:58,640
Stuff like that.
755
00:40:58,720 --> 00:41:00,920
She replied and asked who I was.
756
00:41:01,000 --> 00:41:03,920
So Nell just told her that it's Note,
Udom Taephanich.
757
00:41:05,240 --> 00:41:06,760
She didn't believe it.
758
00:41:06,840 --> 00:41:09,840
She said, "Please don't mess with me."
759
00:41:09,920 --> 00:41:11,280
So Nell said,
760
00:41:11,800 --> 00:41:14,360
"Boss, let's video-call her."
761
00:41:15,720 --> 00:41:16,880
She picked up
762
00:41:17,760 --> 00:41:19,600
and saw my face on the screen.
763
00:41:19,680 --> 00:41:21,320
If only you'd seen her reaction.
764
00:41:25,600 --> 00:41:27,520
She was like, "How can I help you?"
765
00:41:29,920 --> 00:41:33,840
I said, "No, I just want to
get to know you. I saw your post."
766
00:41:33,920 --> 00:41:34,920
"Well,
767
00:41:36,280 --> 00:41:37,680
why?"
768
00:41:40,240 --> 00:41:44,440
So, I can't just say I want to be
her boyfriend. That's too fast.
769
00:41:44,520 --> 00:41:47,560
So I told her, "We can just get to know
each other as friends."
770
00:41:47,640 --> 00:41:49,440
She was like, "Okay."
771
00:41:50,280 --> 00:41:52,560
She was in shock, and she was…
772
00:41:52,640 --> 00:41:53,920
stuttering.
773
00:41:54,000 --> 00:41:55,440
I told her,
774
00:41:56,720 --> 00:41:59,560
"If you're free,
I'd like to take you to dinner."
775
00:41:59,640 --> 00:42:02,480
"Get to know each other.
When are you available?"
776
00:42:02,560 --> 00:42:05,960
I let her choose.
777
00:42:06,040 --> 00:42:09,440
Maybe she was still in shock,
because she said,
778
00:42:09,520 --> 00:42:11,160
"I'm free this evening."
779
00:42:13,720 --> 00:42:16,080
That's brilliant. She's up for it.
780
00:42:16,160 --> 00:42:19,840
I can't just say no or play hard to get.
781
00:42:19,920 --> 00:42:23,000
So I said, "Fantastic.
Let's meet up this evening. I'm free."
782
00:42:24,320 --> 00:42:27,640
"Do you want me to pick you up, or…"
783
00:42:27,720 --> 00:42:29,840
"I can get there by myself," she said.
784
00:42:29,920 --> 00:42:33,080
There was a lot of hesitation
in that conversation.
785
00:42:34,000 --> 00:42:35,040
But that's okay.
786
00:42:35,120 --> 00:42:38,360
We agreed to meet in front of my office.
787
00:42:38,920 --> 00:42:41,080
When I agreed to meet her,
788
00:42:42,040 --> 00:42:43,960
I totally forgot about
789
00:42:44,040 --> 00:42:45,480
another appointment
790
00:42:45,560 --> 00:42:47,680
I had that evening,
791
00:42:47,760 --> 00:42:49,520
which was the dinner
792
00:42:49,600 --> 00:42:50,880
with Tony Jaa.
793
00:42:52,640 --> 00:42:53,880
You know?
794
00:42:53,960 --> 00:42:56,800
A dinner with Tony Jaa was
very hard to arrange.
795
00:42:56,880 --> 00:43:00,240
We're all so busy,
and Tony Jaa is always overseas.
796
00:43:00,320 --> 00:43:03,040
We met several times on other occasions.
But that evening,
797
00:43:03,120 --> 00:43:06,400
his wife and mother-in-law wanted to cook
a northeastern meal for us.
798
00:43:06,480 --> 00:43:10,120
They know that I'm from Surin.
We're from the same province.
799
00:43:11,240 --> 00:43:13,640
When I remembered that,
800
00:43:13,720 --> 00:43:17,520
I asked her before we hung up,
"Just a question."
801
00:43:17,600 --> 00:43:19,640
"Would you mind if today,
802
00:43:19,720 --> 00:43:22,120
for dinner this evening,
803
00:43:22,960 --> 00:43:26,000
my friends will be there too?"
804
00:43:27,200 --> 00:43:30,360
"It's nothing serious.
We'll just be chilling."
805
00:43:30,440 --> 00:43:32,960
I thought this was good.
It wasn't too romantic.
806
00:43:33,040 --> 00:43:34,800
She could meet my friends.
807
00:43:34,880 --> 00:43:36,520
She was fine with that.
808
00:43:36,600 --> 00:43:38,920
She said, "Sure. No problem."
809
00:43:40,560 --> 00:43:42,120
But she didn't know which friends.
810
00:43:44,200 --> 00:43:46,880
So we were to meet in front of my office.
I called her.
811
00:43:46,960 --> 00:43:49,920
"You can park right under the tree."
I crossed the road to her.
812
00:43:50,000 --> 00:43:52,320
As I was opening the door for her,
813
00:43:52,400 --> 00:43:54,160
she came out and was like…
814
00:43:57,400 --> 00:43:58,400
"So,
815
00:44:00,080 --> 00:44:01,760
where are the cameras?"
816
00:44:05,480 --> 00:44:08,360
"There's no camera.
There's really nothing. Trust me.
817
00:44:08,440 --> 00:44:10,560
Honest, I really want to get to know you."
818
00:44:10,640 --> 00:44:12,800
She was like, "Oh, okay.
819
00:44:13,360 --> 00:44:15,160
You're not pulling a prank on me?
820
00:44:17,960 --> 00:44:19,760
Really?"
821
00:44:19,840 --> 00:44:23,040
Then she locked the car
and crossed the road
822
00:44:23,120 --> 00:44:24,640
to the front of my office.
823
00:44:24,720 --> 00:44:26,640
I said, "I live here.
There are three floors."
824
00:44:26,720 --> 00:44:28,560
"I live on the top. Office, second floor."
825
00:44:28,640 --> 00:44:31,400
"The meeting room is on the first.
My mom is on the same property."
826
00:44:31,480 --> 00:44:32,880
"My mom's house is here."
827
00:44:32,960 --> 00:44:34,960
I wanted her to feel welcome.
828
00:44:35,040 --> 00:44:37,400
Then I said, "Let's wait for my friends."
829
00:44:37,480 --> 00:44:39,360
"They're coming with us."
830
00:44:39,440 --> 00:44:42,560
We were both standing there,
being awkward.
831
00:44:42,640 --> 00:44:45,120
I was making conversation,
asking her stuff.
832
00:44:45,200 --> 00:44:50,600
While I was talking, she hadn't
completely recovered from the shock.
833
00:44:50,680 --> 00:44:52,440
Along came Kong Huayrai.
834
00:44:52,520 --> 00:44:53,880
He got out of his car.
835
00:44:54,760 --> 00:44:56,200
"Hello, folks."
836
00:44:57,240 --> 00:44:59,000
"Hey, Note. Who's this?"
837
00:44:59,080 --> 00:45:00,920
"Oh, you're hitting on her."
838
00:45:05,920 --> 00:45:07,360
"That's brilliant."
839
00:45:08,120 --> 00:45:09,440
"That's great."
840
00:45:10,520 --> 00:45:12,480
"You're the girl of his dreams."
841
00:45:12,560 --> 00:45:14,200
Now things got messy.
842
00:45:15,080 --> 00:45:18,120
As if meeting Kong Huayrai
wasn't enough of a surprise,
843
00:45:18,200 --> 00:45:20,840
Singto Numchok pulled up in his car.
844
00:45:20,920 --> 00:45:23,840
"Hello, Note. Wow."
845
00:45:26,520 --> 00:45:29,760
"Okay, I won't say anything.
Not a word. I have manners."
846
00:45:35,680 --> 00:45:38,480
Imagine if you were that girl.
How would you feel?
847
00:45:38,560 --> 00:45:41,120
What was going on?
She was probably confused.
848
00:45:41,200 --> 00:45:45,200
So I told her,
"We're going to another friend's house,
849
00:45:45,280 --> 00:45:47,120
which is a bit far from here."
850
00:45:47,200 --> 00:45:51,240
"It's quite a hassle to go there,
so we're going to carpool in the van."
851
00:45:51,840 --> 00:45:55,040
I was sitting here. She was over here.
852
00:45:55,120 --> 00:45:57,920
At the back were Singto and Kong.
853
00:45:58,000 --> 00:46:01,960
Another person who knew the route
was driving.
854
00:46:02,040 --> 00:46:05,160
On our way there,
the girl was pretty anxious.
855
00:46:05,240 --> 00:46:06,880
She was…
856
00:46:06,960 --> 00:46:08,640
Imagine if you were her.
857
00:46:08,720 --> 00:46:12,000
On our end, we didn't think we were…
858
00:46:13,520 --> 00:46:15,080
We are all humans.
859
00:46:15,160 --> 00:46:17,560
I wanted to get to know her.
I didn't think I was special.
860
00:46:17,640 --> 00:46:20,160
Along the way,
I tried to make conversation.
861
00:46:20,240 --> 00:46:23,640
When I asked her something,
she would just give a short answer.
862
00:46:23,720 --> 00:46:25,800
Tony Jaa's house was very far away.
863
00:46:25,880 --> 00:46:28,120
It's like we were heading out of town.
864
00:46:28,200 --> 00:46:32,240
The road to his house from the main road
was very narrow.
865
00:46:32,320 --> 00:46:35,200
We drove by abandoned buildings
and a banana plantation.
866
00:46:36,240 --> 00:46:39,600
I bet she must have been thinking
something like,
867
00:46:39,680 --> 00:46:41,760
"The three DTK bastards
868
00:46:42,920 --> 00:46:45,440
committed gang rape
by a banana plantation."
869
00:46:47,360 --> 00:46:49,440
We tried to make her feel
comfortable, though.
870
00:46:49,520 --> 00:46:50,800
We were telling jokes.
871
00:46:50,880 --> 00:46:53,720
Kong was singing his unreleased single.
872
00:46:53,800 --> 00:46:56,960
Singto was humming.
We were having so much fun.
873
00:46:57,040 --> 00:46:59,360
But the girl, she was as stiff as a log.
874
00:46:59,440 --> 00:47:02,640
I didn't know what to do.
I guess that's the way it is.
875
00:47:02,720 --> 00:47:05,760
So we were making our way there.
I called Tony.
876
00:47:05,840 --> 00:47:09,320
He asked, "Where are you?
Where are you now?"
877
00:47:09,400 --> 00:47:11,800
He said it was a bit tricky
to get to his house.
878
00:47:11,880 --> 00:47:15,320
We had to go past this bush.
879
00:47:15,400 --> 00:47:19,560
So we parked where he said his house was.
880
00:47:20,320 --> 00:47:21,880
Imagine this.
881
00:47:21,960 --> 00:47:24,560
Tony Jaa's house is not a house.
882
00:47:24,640 --> 00:47:27,800
He bought an apartment building.
883
00:47:28,560 --> 00:47:30,160
The whole building.
884
00:47:30,240 --> 00:47:34,040
I don't know how many rooms are in there.
It's a whole building.
885
00:47:34,120 --> 00:47:36,360
It's like an apartment,
886
00:47:36,440 --> 00:47:38,960
an old dorm,
with paint peeling off the walls.
887
00:47:39,880 --> 00:47:41,680
Just like in Buppah Rahtree.
888
00:47:42,680 --> 00:47:44,880
Tony Jaa loves that kind of stuff.
889
00:47:44,960 --> 00:47:46,520
He bought it.
890
00:47:46,600 --> 00:47:49,520
Later, I asked him why he bought it.
891
00:47:49,600 --> 00:47:52,160
He said the building is by the lake.
892
00:47:52,240 --> 00:47:54,880
He loves looking over
the view of the lake.
893
00:47:54,960 --> 00:47:56,440
And he likes to live
894
00:47:57,720 --> 00:47:59,880
mysteriously, like a real fighter.
895
00:48:00,840 --> 00:48:04,560
It wasn't a house.
He made it into a refuge.
896
00:48:05,480 --> 00:48:08,360
It's kind of like a secret meeting place
897
00:48:08,440 --> 00:48:10,160
where the heroes would get together,
898
00:48:10,240 --> 00:48:13,960
where you'd find CIA agents, James Bond.
899
00:48:14,040 --> 00:48:16,960
Originally a dorm.
This place has tons of rooms.
900
00:48:17,040 --> 00:48:20,080
What he did was,
he tore down all the walls.
901
00:48:20,160 --> 00:48:23,040
So you'll see columns all over his house.
902
00:48:23,120 --> 00:48:25,720
Imagine a school canteen
903
00:48:25,800 --> 00:48:28,080
from when you were a kid
904
00:48:28,160 --> 00:48:32,200
that had all these huge columns
in an open space.
905
00:48:32,280 --> 00:48:34,840
For the bedrooms, he kept the walls.
906
00:48:34,920 --> 00:48:37,800
He tore down the other rooms,
except for the bathrooms.
907
00:48:37,880 --> 00:48:40,720
So it'll be one room, open space,
a room, and more open space.
908
00:48:40,800 --> 00:48:44,920
In my life, I've never seen
any house like that before.
909
00:48:45,600 --> 00:48:47,920
As we parked,
the girl didn't know what this was.
910
00:48:48,000 --> 00:48:50,760
We parked. She was still in shock
about meeting us three.
911
00:48:50,840 --> 00:48:52,880
As the door opened, bam!
912
00:48:52,960 --> 00:48:54,680
Tony Jaa was standing there going…
913
00:49:00,040 --> 00:49:01,680
She…
914
00:49:01,760 --> 00:49:04,520
She must've thought,
"What the hell is this?"
915
00:49:10,680 --> 00:49:13,280
Tony Jaa isn't someone
you get to meet easily.
916
00:49:13,360 --> 00:49:15,360
She saw him and went, "What the hell?"
917
00:49:15,440 --> 00:49:17,360
Then Tony Jaa was going…
918
00:49:19,600 --> 00:49:22,840
He chatted with Singto. They can speak
Cambodian. They were joking around.
919
00:49:22,920 --> 00:49:25,520
There was no elevator,
so we took the stairs,
920
00:49:25,600 --> 00:49:27,720
like the ones in a dorm.
921
00:49:27,800 --> 00:49:29,480
The building's pretty old.
922
00:49:30,960 --> 00:49:32,800
When we reached the second floor,
923
00:49:33,560 --> 00:49:36,480
it was full of columns
with lots of open space.
924
00:49:36,560 --> 00:49:38,360
And there was a gym
925
00:49:38,440 --> 00:49:41,000
with cushions on the floor
for doing flips.
926
00:49:41,080 --> 00:49:43,120
There were mirrors, fighting gear,
927
00:49:43,200 --> 00:49:45,480
swords and lances.
928
00:49:46,160 --> 00:49:49,600
This wasn't a house. Not at all.
It was like a gym.
929
00:49:49,680 --> 00:49:53,200
Next to the gym was a prayer room.
930
00:49:53,280 --> 00:49:54,920
In there was…
931
00:49:55,000 --> 00:49:57,240
an altar around 15 meters long.
932
00:49:57,320 --> 00:49:58,880
It looked like two rooms combined.
933
00:49:58,960 --> 00:50:02,600
On the altar, there were statues
of the Holy Hermit, Lord Naga,
934
00:50:02,680 --> 00:50:04,800
all kinds of Buddhist statues,
but no Ong-Bak.
935
00:50:04,880 --> 00:50:07,480
These statues were placed
one after another.
936
00:50:08,080 --> 00:50:09,760
Lots of incense smoke.
937
00:50:09,840 --> 00:50:13,240
To use the restroom, you had to go
all the way to the back, to the other end.
938
00:50:13,320 --> 00:50:15,680
Each part of the house
was far from the others.
939
00:50:15,760 --> 00:50:18,760
As for the interior design,
I guess Tony Jaa has lived
940
00:50:19,480 --> 00:50:21,440
in so many countries,
941
00:50:21,520 --> 00:50:23,440
and he just bought whatever he liked.
942
00:50:24,480 --> 00:50:26,640
So it's a loft with Chinese,
943
00:50:26,720 --> 00:50:28,520
European and Cambodian influences.
944
00:50:28,600 --> 00:50:30,080
Angkor Wat, Angkor Thom.
945
00:50:32,160 --> 00:50:33,240
Also a hint of French.
946
00:50:34,280 --> 00:50:36,160
It was a mess.
947
00:50:36,240 --> 00:50:38,360
But who would say anything? It's Tony Jaa.
948
00:50:40,560 --> 00:50:41,800
After that,
949
00:50:43,040 --> 00:50:45,800
we asked the girl to make herself at home,
950
00:50:45,880 --> 00:50:48,120
which was impossible to do.
951
00:50:48,200 --> 00:50:50,320
She was sitting with her back straight.
952
00:50:51,040 --> 00:50:54,160
I'd be the same way.
But I didn't realize it at the time.
953
00:50:55,960 --> 00:50:59,680
Tony's wife brought out the food.
His mother-in-law also joined us.
954
00:50:59,760 --> 00:51:03,480
Then Tony Jaa wheeled out
a karaoke machine.
955
00:51:03,560 --> 00:51:06,560
There was a TV, so we started singing.
956
00:51:06,640 --> 00:51:09,480
When we're with friends,
we're just being ourselves.
957
00:51:09,560 --> 00:51:13,480
We were singing carelessly.
Kong was half-drunk.
958
00:51:13,560 --> 00:51:15,760
Singto as well.
959
00:51:15,840 --> 00:51:18,680
Tony Jaa started singing
and rapping in Cambodian.
960
00:51:21,080 --> 00:51:25,160
And he was really good
at dancing like Michael Jackson.
961
00:51:25,240 --> 00:51:28,440
This may surprise you.
He was moonwalking all around the house.
962
00:51:32,040 --> 00:51:35,320
It was fantastic.
That girl was as still as a statue.
963
00:51:36,800 --> 00:51:38,400
She was probably dumbstruck.
964
00:51:39,280 --> 00:51:41,520
Wondering what she was doing there.
965
00:51:44,600 --> 00:51:47,120
I didn't think she would get drunk
on the first date,
966
00:51:47,200 --> 00:51:49,280
but she wouldn't stop drinking.
967
00:51:49,360 --> 00:51:51,640
Like, "Am I dreaming? Is this real?"
968
00:51:52,240 --> 00:51:54,840
"Note Udom asked me out on a dinner date."
969
00:51:54,920 --> 00:51:56,480
"Then I met Singto and Kong."
970
00:51:56,560 --> 00:51:58,560
We were singing,
971
00:51:58,640 --> 00:52:01,320
and when were singing, having fun,
we made up a rule:
972
00:52:01,400 --> 00:52:03,480
Whatever we say, we have to rap it.
973
00:52:04,160 --> 00:52:09,240
We would play a beat on YouTube,
the free ones.
974
00:52:13,280 --> 00:52:16,120
This lady, what's she doing here?
975
00:52:16,200 --> 00:52:18,600
Just sitting there talking to nobody near
976
00:52:18,680 --> 00:52:21,440
So I passed the microphone
to Singto and Kong
977
00:52:21,520 --> 00:52:25,240
She was drunk. She was trying to get away
from whatever was going on.
978
00:52:27,360 --> 00:52:30,720
She came to the date all dolled up.
Now her hair's all messy, her face oily,
979
00:52:30,800 --> 00:52:35,280
like she was sitting at a food stall
thinking, "Damn, is this real life?"
980
00:52:37,920 --> 00:52:39,960
But we always made sure
she was taken care of.
981
00:52:40,680 --> 00:52:42,720
I was making conversation.
982
00:52:42,800 --> 00:52:47,520
But I guess that night
was too overwhelming for a first date.
983
00:52:48,800 --> 00:52:52,520
We were having so much fun.
Tony, that was such a great night.
984
00:52:52,600 --> 00:52:55,000
We were there
until I don't know what time.
985
00:52:55,080 --> 00:52:56,440
Then we left.
986
00:52:56,520 --> 00:52:59,600
We dropped the girl off at the same spot.
987
00:53:00,400 --> 00:53:02,680
Singto and Kong left.
988
00:53:02,760 --> 00:53:05,840
I walked her to her car.
989
00:53:05,920 --> 00:53:09,320
As I was shutting the door, I said,
"Thank you for coming tonight."
990
00:53:09,400 --> 00:53:10,720
"It was so much fun."
991
00:53:12,800 --> 00:53:14,440
The look on her face.
992
00:53:17,280 --> 00:53:19,920
Like she was saying,
"Is that what you call fun?"
993
00:53:20,840 --> 00:53:23,760
When she took off, I texted her
like a gentleman,
994
00:53:23,840 --> 00:53:25,360
saying, "Get home safe."
995
00:53:25,440 --> 00:53:27,360
She lives around Rama II. Off she went.
996
00:53:27,440 --> 00:53:29,600
I texted her again:
997
00:53:29,680 --> 00:53:32,680
"Drive safe.
Is the traffic bad around Rama II?"
998
00:53:32,760 --> 00:53:34,600
Something like that.
999
00:53:34,680 --> 00:53:36,520
She got home that night.
1000
00:53:36,600 --> 00:53:40,680
From 10:00, 11:00… Probably midnight.
Before bed, I texted her good night.
1001
00:53:40,760 --> 00:53:42,160
She didn't reply.
1002
00:53:42,880 --> 00:53:44,120
Maybe she was tired.
1003
00:53:44,200 --> 00:53:46,160
Next morning, I woke up around 8:00 a.m.
1004
00:53:46,240 --> 00:53:49,760
"Good morning." I sent her some
cute stickers along with some jokes.
1005
00:53:49,840 --> 00:53:50,880
Still nothing.
1006
00:53:50,960 --> 00:53:53,600
Later, I texted her again,
at noon and in the evening.
1007
00:53:53,680 --> 00:53:55,200
Then she blocked me.
1008
00:54:06,040 --> 00:54:07,520
Being famous doesn't help.
1009
00:54:10,080 --> 00:54:11,600
It was a total mess.
1010
00:54:13,400 --> 00:54:16,320
After that incident,
I held a company meeting.
1011
00:54:16,400 --> 00:54:19,200
"Look. What does this mean? Tell me."
1012
00:54:19,280 --> 00:54:21,720
"What happened?" I asked.
And everyone was like,
1013
00:54:21,800 --> 00:54:22,920
"Boss."
1014
00:54:24,560 --> 00:54:26,760
"Maybe she saw…"
1015
00:54:26,840 --> 00:54:30,280
"Maybe she didn't think
she would see you and your friends
1016
00:54:30,360 --> 00:54:31,920
behaving that way."
1017
00:54:34,120 --> 00:54:38,160
"Maybe it was too abrupt.
Too fast. Too soon."
1018
00:54:38,240 --> 00:54:40,120
"She was probably in shock." Well…
1019
00:54:40,200 --> 00:54:43,200
It's been a week.
She still hasn't recovered from the shock?
1020
00:54:44,120 --> 00:54:47,320
"Or maybe it's because
you're not her type,
1021
00:54:47,400 --> 00:54:49,000
but she doesn't want to say it."
1022
00:54:49,080 --> 00:54:52,720
Maybe when she met me,
I looked older than what she expected.
1023
00:54:52,800 --> 00:54:55,040
Or maybe I'm not that good looking.
1024
00:54:56,120 --> 00:54:58,600
Let's just say it didn't work out.
1025
00:54:58,680 --> 00:55:01,040
Fame didn't help.
1026
00:55:01,120 --> 00:55:04,400
And the blessings from Toon
couldn't save me from this shit.
1027
00:55:12,320 --> 00:55:14,680
So like I said, no more weddings for me.
1028
00:55:15,600 --> 00:55:19,440
Now, funerals, I won't go to those either.
I'll say it here.
1029
00:55:19,520 --> 00:55:21,600
I'm sick of funerals.
I'm not going anymore.
1030
00:55:21,680 --> 00:55:26,800
Sometimes I think for my own funeral,
I might not even go.
1031
00:55:29,520 --> 00:55:32,080
It's such a hassle going to funerals.
1032
00:55:33,200 --> 00:55:36,200
It's a hassle to find a parking spot,
1033
00:55:36,840 --> 00:55:39,800
especially at Wat That Thong, you know?
1034
00:55:40,400 --> 00:55:43,400
It's harder to find a spot there
than at Siam Paragon.
1035
00:55:43,480 --> 00:55:47,000
I was circling endlessly
before I could get a spot.
1036
00:55:47,080 --> 00:55:49,760
Let's just park
by one of the monk's residences.
1037
00:55:49,840 --> 00:55:52,960
I squeezed in.
Then I had to find the pavilion.
1038
00:55:54,440 --> 00:55:57,040
Which one? Oh, boy. I was wearing a suit.
1039
00:55:58,000 --> 00:56:00,560
I had to be respectful.
1040
00:56:01,280 --> 00:56:02,840
As a celeb, I had to.
1041
00:56:03,360 --> 00:56:05,840
I would've much preferred
to wear a tank top.
1042
00:56:05,920 --> 00:56:08,040
So in my suit, I had to find the pavilion.
1043
00:56:08,120 --> 00:56:11,200
I was sweating. My armpits were soaked.
1044
00:56:11,280 --> 00:56:13,640
And the pavilions were all different.
1045
00:56:13,720 --> 00:56:15,760
All different sizes,
in no particular order.
1046
00:56:15,840 --> 00:56:21,360
Pavilion One was here,
Four there, Eight all the way there.
1047
00:56:21,440 --> 00:56:24,440
They weren't built at the same time.
I couldn't find the right one.
1048
00:56:24,520 --> 00:56:28,040
In front of the pavilions,
there weren't any LED signs
1049
00:56:28,120 --> 00:56:30,200
or photos of the deceased, you know?
1050
00:56:30,880 --> 00:56:32,280
Like, "Here I am."
1051
00:56:34,000 --> 00:56:35,960
I had no clue where the signs were.
1052
00:56:36,040 --> 00:56:37,560
When I walked in,
1053
00:56:37,640 --> 00:56:39,600
people would recognized me.
1054
00:56:39,680 --> 00:56:42,920
When I walked in, they'd come to greet me:
1055
00:56:43,000 --> 00:56:46,120
"Mr. Note, thank you for coming.
This way, please."
1056
00:56:46,200 --> 00:56:48,520
They'd sit me down, and I'd see the photo.
1057
00:56:48,600 --> 00:56:50,520
Shit. Wrong corpse.
1058
00:56:54,280 --> 00:56:56,400
How do I get out of here now?
1059
00:56:56,480 --> 00:56:58,720
They sat me down in the front row.
1060
00:56:58,800 --> 00:57:01,480
Everyone had seen me.
They know it was me sitting there.
1061
00:57:01,560 --> 00:57:03,320
Shit. I had to leave somehow.
1062
00:57:03,400 --> 00:57:07,760
Then they served me some water and snacks.
1063
00:57:07,840 --> 00:57:10,040
Shit. How am I going to tell them?
1064
00:57:10,120 --> 00:57:12,000
And the family was looking at me like,
1065
00:57:13,080 --> 00:57:15,920
"Since when did we know him?"
1066
00:57:16,680 --> 00:57:17,800
I was like,
1067
00:57:18,560 --> 00:57:20,320
"Oh, I got a call."
1068
00:57:20,400 --> 00:57:22,320
Then I walked out and left.
1069
00:57:24,480 --> 00:57:25,920
In a funeral…
1070
00:57:29,120 --> 00:57:32,360
As you get older, they will sit you down
1071
00:57:32,440 --> 00:57:33,960
at the very front.
1072
00:57:34,040 --> 00:57:37,480
For senior guests,
they'd have those armchairs with lion legs
1073
00:57:38,640 --> 00:57:42,200
or a couple of sofas in the front.
1074
00:57:42,280 --> 00:57:44,720
Let's say you're the guests at a funeral.
1075
00:57:44,800 --> 00:57:48,000
When I'm dragged over, I'm like,
"It's okay." "Please," they say. "Fine."
1076
00:57:48,080 --> 00:57:49,120
So I sit down.
1077
00:57:50,880 --> 00:57:53,640
Being in the front row, you can't get up.
1078
00:57:54,720 --> 00:57:57,360
If you're on your phone,
it doesn't look good.
1079
00:57:57,440 --> 00:57:59,520
You don't understand the monks' chants.
1080
00:58:03,600 --> 00:58:06,480
What are they saying? You have no clue.
1081
00:58:06,560 --> 00:58:08,640
Why can't they deliver a simple sermon?
1082
00:58:08,720 --> 00:58:10,800
So you sit there, empty-headed.
1083
00:58:10,880 --> 00:58:12,200
This is so boring.
1084
00:58:12,280 --> 00:58:15,680
You want to take out your phone
and watch pimple-popping videos.
1085
00:58:18,280 --> 00:58:20,520
It's just as sad, you know?
1086
00:58:20,600 --> 00:58:23,160
But, nope, you can't. What to do now?
1087
00:58:23,240 --> 00:58:25,440
At another funeral,
1088
00:58:25,520 --> 00:58:28,240
they announced, "Will Mr. Note Udom
1089
00:58:28,320 --> 00:58:31,720
come on to the stage to light the candle
as homage to the Three Jewels?"
1090
00:58:32,760 --> 00:58:34,000
Me?
1091
00:58:35,480 --> 00:58:36,800
Really?
1092
00:58:36,880 --> 00:58:38,960
I can't be the chief guest at a funeral.
1093
00:58:39,040 --> 00:58:41,600
If they had told me this,
I wouldn't have come.
1094
00:58:42,840 --> 00:58:44,240
Imagine this.
1095
00:58:44,320 --> 00:58:45,920
You're at a funeral.
1096
00:58:46,000 --> 00:58:47,440
They announce,
1097
00:58:47,520 --> 00:58:49,240
"Will Mr. Note Udom
1098
00:58:49,320 --> 00:58:50,880
come on to the stage
1099
00:58:50,960 --> 00:58:53,400
to light the candle
as homage to the Three Jewels?"
1100
00:58:53,480 --> 00:58:54,960
I walk up.
1101
00:58:57,160 --> 00:59:00,680
At a funeral, I know how to behave.
1102
00:59:00,760 --> 00:59:02,160
I'm total Men in Black.
1103
00:59:02,240 --> 00:59:04,880
I know it's a mournful occasion.
1104
00:59:06,320 --> 00:59:07,480
So I walked up.
1105
00:59:12,760 --> 00:59:14,920
They were laughing, just like you are now.
1106
00:59:17,360 --> 00:59:19,200
I don't know what I did wrong.
1107
00:59:19,920 --> 00:59:22,920
My fly was zipped up.
I was conservatively dressed.
1108
00:59:23,880 --> 00:59:26,400
It's a mystery.
1109
00:59:26,480 --> 00:59:29,960
I was standing awkwardly
in front of the Principal Buddha image.
1110
00:59:30,920 --> 00:59:33,600
The undertaker in brown said
into the microphone,
1111
00:59:33,680 --> 00:59:36,360
"Mr. Note Udom, you may light the candle."
1112
00:59:36,440 --> 00:59:39,880
I whispered to him, "Where is the candle?"
1113
00:59:39,960 --> 00:59:41,240
"Where is it?"
1114
00:59:43,240 --> 00:59:46,040
He said right into the mic,
"It's an electric switch."
1115
00:59:48,920 --> 00:59:51,600
He pointed to a switch.
1116
00:59:51,680 --> 00:59:54,960
It was the kind you see
in front of restrooms. I flipped it.
1117
00:59:55,040 --> 00:59:58,040
They were all electric…
the incense sticks, the candle.
1118
00:59:58,120 --> 00:59:59,800
They lit up.
1119
00:59:59,880 --> 01:00:01,040
All at once.
1120
01:00:01,120 --> 01:00:02,880
Did it have to be me?
1121
01:00:02,960 --> 01:00:04,800
It was within arm's reach, you idiot.
1122
01:00:09,560 --> 01:00:12,440
Was it embarrassing? Hell, yes.
As I was up there,
1123
01:00:12,520 --> 01:00:15,440
when I couldn't find the candle,
I heard people giggling.
1124
01:00:15,520 --> 01:00:17,760
Even the monks were trying not to laugh,
1125
01:00:18,560 --> 01:00:20,800
covering their faces
with those talipot fans.
1126
01:00:20,880 --> 01:00:23,880
I don't belong in these mournful events.
1127
01:00:26,880 --> 01:00:29,000
Here's something I don't understand:
1128
01:00:29,080 --> 01:00:32,160
At a funeral,
they ask you to go see the body.
1129
01:00:33,280 --> 01:00:36,680
"Come, please. Come this way.
I'll show you the body."
1130
01:00:38,480 --> 01:00:39,480
What for?
1131
01:00:40,360 --> 01:00:41,960
"No one else gets to see it."
1132
01:00:42,840 --> 01:00:44,560
So why do I need to?
1133
01:00:52,360 --> 01:00:55,280
Pop Areeya's mother called me over:
"Come look here."
1134
01:00:55,360 --> 01:00:59,000
"Look at my mother's face.
It's still pink."
1135
01:00:59,080 --> 01:01:00,960
She opened the coffin. I was like, "No."
1136
01:01:02,320 --> 01:01:04,600
I want to remember them
1137
01:01:04,680 --> 01:01:07,760
as they were when they were alive.
1138
01:01:07,840 --> 01:01:10,960
Not as a body that will haunt me
when I get home at night.
1139
01:01:11,040 --> 01:01:12,520
I just don't see the point.
1140
01:01:12,600 --> 01:01:14,400
What is so appealing about this?
1141
01:01:14,480 --> 01:01:16,080
A dead body with cotton balls…
1142
01:01:18,200 --> 01:01:19,400
and makeup like…
1143
01:01:20,320 --> 01:01:24,000
Especially those with wounds.
Not many get the foundation shade right.
1144
01:01:24,720 --> 01:01:26,440
I mean, the dead,
1145
01:01:26,520 --> 01:01:28,480
they don't have a say in this.
1146
01:01:28,560 --> 01:01:30,800
So I asked an expert,
1147
01:01:30,880 --> 01:01:33,760
"What's the point? When did it start?"
1148
01:01:33,840 --> 01:01:37,680
"It's a long tradition.
It's so people can contemplate death."
1149
01:01:37,760 --> 01:01:40,160
"They can see what death is like."
1150
01:01:40,240 --> 01:01:42,200
I understand the contemplation of death,
1151
01:01:42,280 --> 01:01:45,560
but have you ever asked the deceased
1152
01:01:45,640 --> 01:01:48,320
if they want other people
to see them like that?
1153
01:01:49,120 --> 01:01:51,400
Imagine this. You don't have to be dead.
1154
01:01:52,200 --> 01:01:54,080
Every woman in this hall,
1155
01:01:54,160 --> 01:01:57,440
imagine you were sleeping
without any makeup on.
1156
01:01:59,640 --> 01:02:02,120
At 5:30 a.m., people are at your house.
1157
01:02:02,200 --> 01:02:04,120
You have a blanket over your head.
1158
01:02:04,200 --> 01:02:06,400
Those people come in.
They lift up the blanket…
1159
01:02:06,480 --> 01:02:08,120
"Let me contemplate death."
1160
01:02:12,920 --> 01:02:14,760
Would you like that?
1161
01:02:14,840 --> 01:02:16,800
If not, don't do it to other people.
1162
01:02:21,320 --> 01:02:25,760
Funerals are full of awkward moments.
1163
01:02:25,840 --> 01:02:29,640
Once, I was at a funeral
for Toni Rakkaen's father.
1164
01:02:30,440 --> 01:02:34,520
Kandy Rakkaen was there too.
1165
01:02:34,600 --> 01:02:35,600
We're acquainted.
1166
01:02:35,680 --> 01:02:39,400
I have so much respect for their mother,
the national artist Banyen Rakkaen.
1167
01:02:40,120 --> 01:02:41,800
The funeral was at Wat That Thong.
1168
01:02:41,880 --> 01:02:44,240
When I got there,
1169
01:02:44,320 --> 01:02:45,920
I knew how to behave.
1170
01:02:47,240 --> 01:02:49,080
I got there and greeted them.
1171
01:02:50,360 --> 01:02:52,200
Then I walked into the ceremony.
1172
01:02:52,280 --> 01:02:54,040
There were already people there.
1173
01:03:08,360 --> 01:03:10,760
Now, they were taking photos of me,
1174
01:03:11,760 --> 01:03:13,720
posting me on TikTok and whatnot.
1175
01:03:14,400 --> 01:03:16,080
Then a brave girl walked over…
1176
01:03:17,240 --> 01:03:18,920
"Note, can I get a selfie?"
1177
01:03:20,320 --> 01:03:22,600
It's a funeral. Okay. Fine.
1178
01:03:22,680 --> 01:03:24,520
I was trying to compose myself.
1179
01:03:24,600 --> 01:03:27,160
So, we took a selfie.
Then came another one.
1180
01:03:27,240 --> 01:03:30,880
Click. Then another one came.
"Can you hold the camera, please?"
1181
01:03:30,960 --> 01:03:32,400
"My arms are big," they'd say.
1182
01:03:32,480 --> 01:03:35,120
Then more people came.
The crowd got bigger.
1183
01:03:35,200 --> 01:03:37,880
I told myself,
"Don't smile. It's a funeral."
1184
01:03:37,960 --> 01:03:40,240
They seemed to like it even more.
More came.
1185
01:03:40,320 --> 01:03:42,320
They wanted a photo of me
with a straight face.
1186
01:03:42,400 --> 01:03:45,880
Then someone said,
"Let's move there. It's too crowded here."
1187
01:03:45,960 --> 01:03:49,600
"Come over here. It's an open space.
It's more comfortable here."
1188
01:03:49,680 --> 01:03:52,440
Where was that? In front of the coffin.
1189
01:03:53,800 --> 01:03:56,440
The coffin was there with all the flowers.
1190
01:03:56,520 --> 01:03:59,120
The portrait of his dad
who died was right here.
1191
01:03:59,200 --> 01:04:01,080
They wanted to take photos there.
1192
01:04:03,120 --> 01:04:06,080
I didn't know what to do. I really didn't.
1193
01:04:06,160 --> 01:04:08,040
"Come here, come."
1194
01:04:08,120 --> 01:04:10,200
They were calling their family
from out of town.
1195
01:04:10,280 --> 01:04:13,800
"Come quick. Note is here.
It's not often we get to see him."
1196
01:04:17,720 --> 01:04:20,360
Four or five people gathered.
1197
01:04:20,440 --> 01:04:21,680
"Hey."
1198
01:04:22,360 --> 01:04:25,600
"Kandy, come here. Toni, come here.
Let's wait for Toni."
1199
01:04:25,680 --> 01:04:28,080
"Take this camera too. And this one."
1200
01:04:28,160 --> 01:04:31,000
The person was holding so many cameras.
1201
01:04:31,080 --> 01:04:32,880
Don't they have a group chat?
1202
01:04:32,960 --> 01:04:34,480
It's the same photo, you know?
1203
01:04:34,560 --> 01:04:36,120
"Okay. Ready?"
1204
01:04:36,200 --> 01:04:37,960
One, two, mini hearts.
1205
01:04:38,040 --> 01:04:39,320
Mini hearts?
1206
01:04:43,280 --> 01:04:45,880
I was more respectful to your dad
than you all.
1207
01:04:48,800 --> 01:04:50,640
How big should my mini heart be?
1208
01:04:52,640 --> 01:04:54,560
How big should a heart be at a funeral?
1209
01:04:57,080 --> 01:04:58,400
Are you insane?
1210
01:04:58,480 --> 01:05:00,080
They're not for me.
1211
01:05:00,160 --> 01:05:01,400
Not for me.
1212
01:05:01,480 --> 01:05:03,360
Funerals are not for me.
1213
01:05:03,440 --> 01:05:07,800
And those funerals with lots of wreaths,
I don't think it's right.
1214
01:05:07,880 --> 01:05:10,160
Wreaths are so expensive.
1215
01:05:10,240 --> 01:05:14,080
The ones I buy for respected people
or for fellow celebrities
1216
01:05:14,160 --> 01:05:16,120
cost me 10,000 baht.
1217
01:05:16,200 --> 01:05:18,120
Ten thousand for one with fresh flowers.
1218
01:05:18,200 --> 01:05:20,520
I'd order it from Napasorn
at Pak Khlong Talat.
1219
01:05:20,600 --> 01:05:24,040
I can't buy cheaper ones. Why?
Because my name's on it.
1220
01:05:25,160 --> 01:05:26,880
It'd be embarrassing.
1221
01:05:26,960 --> 01:05:29,920
If I could take out my name,
I would order a 380-baht one
1222
01:05:31,200 --> 01:05:34,520
with silk folded into stupid peacocks.
1223
01:05:39,880 --> 01:05:41,440
It's because my name is on it.
1224
01:05:41,520 --> 01:05:43,840
Like, if I could,
1225
01:05:43,920 --> 01:05:47,000
I'd have them shine a spotlight
and include the price.
1226
01:05:48,040 --> 01:05:49,680
Ten thousand, man.
1227
01:05:50,520 --> 01:05:52,960
I went to a funeral of this famous friend.
1228
01:05:53,040 --> 01:05:54,440
You'd know them.
1229
01:05:55,040 --> 01:05:56,680
The wreaths? There were so many.
1230
01:05:56,760 --> 01:05:59,360
There wasn't enough space.
Ceiling to floor.
1231
01:05:59,440 --> 01:06:03,240
They had to rent another tent
to hang all these wreaths.
1232
01:06:03,320 --> 01:06:07,320
Not enough. They had to rent four.
Four tents. I was like…
1233
01:06:07,400 --> 01:06:11,040
And seeing the names,
these are all famous people.
1234
01:06:11,120 --> 01:06:13,640
That day, I stayed on
until the ceremony was over.
1235
01:06:13,720 --> 01:06:17,600
I wanted to find out what they were
going do with these wreaths.
1236
01:06:19,040 --> 01:06:22,000
I was filming,
but not to make a documentary.
1237
01:06:22,080 --> 01:06:24,680
I really wanted to know. So I waited.
1238
01:06:24,760 --> 01:06:27,800
At the end, when everyone left,
the temple boys came
1239
01:06:27,880 --> 01:06:29,520
with three or four tricycles.
1240
01:06:29,600 --> 01:06:31,560
Some were huge with a motor.
1241
01:06:32,200 --> 01:06:34,760
The wreaths came down
and were thrown onto the tricycles.
1242
01:06:34,840 --> 01:06:36,680
I filmed the names of some of those stars.
1243
01:06:36,760 --> 01:06:39,520
When they got all the wreaths,
1244
01:06:40,400 --> 01:06:43,320
they dumped them
in the BMA yellow bins, the heavy ones.
1245
01:06:43,400 --> 01:06:46,280
And they were throwing them like this.
1246
01:06:47,440 --> 01:06:49,200
I did the math.
1247
01:06:49,280 --> 01:06:51,920
Out went 10,000, 20,000, 30,000, 40,000.
1248
01:06:52,000 --> 01:06:54,120
The wreaths totaled to four million baht.
1249
01:06:55,600 --> 01:06:57,200
It was all for nothing.
1250
01:06:58,120 --> 01:07:00,880
I love what they do
at Wat Chonprathan Rangsarit.
1251
01:07:00,960 --> 01:07:02,800
They don't accept wreaths.
1252
01:07:02,880 --> 01:07:04,640
They only take fans.
1253
01:07:04,720 --> 01:07:05,840
I was there.
1254
01:07:07,280 --> 01:07:10,880
Fans were everywhere in the pavilion.
1255
01:07:10,960 --> 01:07:12,800
Probably more than those in a fan shop.
1256
01:07:12,880 --> 01:07:15,880
If all of them were turned on,
your wig would fly off.
1257
01:07:22,560 --> 01:07:24,000
Enough with funerals.
1258
01:07:24,960 --> 01:07:27,400
Tomb Sweeping Day.
I won't go to those either.
1259
01:07:27,480 --> 01:07:30,040
I told my mom that the previous one
1260
01:07:30,120 --> 01:07:33,960
will be the last one for Udom Taephanich.
1261
01:07:34,040 --> 01:07:36,240
For me, Tomb Sweeping Day
1262
01:07:37,320 --> 01:07:40,480
is when people in a family
who can't stand each other
1263
01:07:41,480 --> 01:07:42,880
are forced to be together
1264
01:07:44,000 --> 01:07:46,160
in a horrendous place,
1265
01:07:46,920 --> 01:07:48,920
in scorching heat,
1266
01:07:49,000 --> 01:07:50,960
eating disgusting food.
1267
01:07:59,720 --> 01:08:02,640
Getting to the tomb is bad enough.
1268
01:08:02,720 --> 01:08:05,560
My father, he died when I was six.
1269
01:08:05,640 --> 01:08:08,040
To get to his tomb,
we have to go past a sugarcane farm.
1270
01:08:08,120 --> 01:08:10,120
It isn't a fancy tomb.
1271
01:08:10,200 --> 01:08:12,120
We didn't have a lot of money.
1272
01:08:12,200 --> 01:08:15,880
So the tomb was behind the sugarcane farm
in Ban Bueng, Chonburi.
1273
01:08:15,960 --> 01:08:18,360
Going there is tiring.
Traffic out of Bangkok is bad.
1274
01:08:18,440 --> 01:08:21,600
Then we have to drive through
the sugarcanes. Very dusty.
1275
01:08:21,680 --> 01:08:25,600
The rich would have their tombs
in fancy locations…
1276
01:08:26,640 --> 01:08:29,319
by the water, near the mountains,
those big hilly tombs.
1277
01:08:29,399 --> 01:08:32,120
Some are as big as this stage.
1278
01:08:32,200 --> 01:08:34,200
My dad's is just this small one.
1279
01:08:34,279 --> 01:08:36,399
The road is so dusty.
1280
01:08:36,479 --> 01:08:39,080
It's also hard to park.
You risk parking on someone's tomb.
1281
01:08:39,160 --> 01:08:41,200
They're all very close to one another,
1282
01:08:41,279 --> 01:08:44,600
so you have to park on the curb somewhere
and brave the sun to get there.
1283
01:08:44,680 --> 01:08:46,840
There's no shade.
1284
01:08:47,720 --> 01:08:51,200
Not a single tree. It's boiling out there.
We need to find a tent.
1285
01:08:51,279 --> 01:08:55,000
So we put up a tent we rented
to give us some shade.
1286
01:08:55,080 --> 01:08:58,160
And the tent can't be very big,
1287
01:08:58,240 --> 01:09:00,680
or it will cast a shadow on others' tombs.
1288
01:09:00,760 --> 01:09:02,399
They might get upset.
1289
01:09:02,479 --> 01:09:05,279
So the whole family is packed
1290
01:09:05,359 --> 01:09:08,319
under this tiny tent in the heat.
1291
01:09:09,279 --> 01:09:12,200
And there's the tomb
that has been made to look like
1292
01:09:12,279 --> 01:09:14,000
we've been taking very good care of it.
1293
01:09:14,680 --> 01:09:17,399
Just days before, grass magically grew.
1294
01:09:17,479 --> 01:09:19,319
Truth is, we'd just put the grass there.
1295
01:09:19,399 --> 01:09:20,680
Very recently.
1296
01:09:20,760 --> 01:09:23,319
We'd also recently repainted
the tomb to make it seem
1297
01:09:23,399 --> 01:09:25,240
like we'd been tending to it.
1298
01:09:25,319 --> 01:09:27,720
When, in fact, for the rest of the year,
1299
01:09:27,800 --> 01:09:30,479
he's just left there in the sun.
1300
01:09:30,560 --> 01:09:32,960
He's probably all tanned now.
1301
01:09:33,040 --> 01:09:35,399
There is no grass there,
1302
01:09:35,479 --> 01:09:36,960
not one seashell.
1303
01:09:37,040 --> 01:09:39,760
It's tradition to scatter seashells
on the tombs. Stuff like that.
1304
01:09:39,840 --> 01:09:42,520
So what happens is, it's a very hot day.
1305
01:09:42,600 --> 01:09:45,319
So freaking hot. What am I doing here?
1306
01:09:45,399 --> 01:09:48,840
And the people who hate each other
haven't really been in touch.
1307
01:09:48,920 --> 01:09:52,040
They have to share the tent in that heat
1308
01:09:52,120 --> 01:09:54,240
with the background music
of firecrackers going…
1309
01:09:58,479 --> 01:10:02,680
The family members who hate each other
start talking with a certain tone,
1310
01:10:02,760 --> 01:10:05,960
in a kind of passive-aggressive way…
1311
01:10:07,320 --> 01:10:09,360
"Your kid hasn't got a job yet?"
1312
01:10:09,440 --> 01:10:11,280
"My kid's doing pretty well abroad."
1313
01:10:11,360 --> 01:10:14,200
"What's your salary?"
"What car are you driving?"
1314
01:10:14,280 --> 01:10:17,280
"Japanese car? I drive a European car.
The doors are pretty heavy."
1315
01:10:18,400 --> 01:10:21,760
Things are heating up
and about to explode.
1316
01:10:22,920 --> 01:10:24,560
When you're in the same tent
1317
01:10:24,640 --> 01:10:27,280
with someone you hate
on Tomb Sweeping Day,
1318
01:10:28,040 --> 01:10:30,120
it's uncomfortable. What do you do?
1319
01:10:30,200 --> 01:10:32,000
You light firecrackers.
1320
01:10:32,080 --> 01:10:35,280
On Tomb Sweeping Day,
you light firecrackers.
1321
01:10:35,360 --> 01:10:37,840
Lighting firecrackers is an activity that…
1322
01:10:37,920 --> 01:10:42,000
I've never seen anyone light firecrackers
in a relaxed manner.
1323
01:10:42,600 --> 01:10:43,760
It's not like…
1324
01:10:49,160 --> 01:10:52,240
Whoever's doing it is like…
1325
01:10:56,800 --> 01:10:58,360
"No, you do it."
1326
01:10:58,440 --> 01:11:01,200
No one likes it.
1327
01:11:01,280 --> 01:11:04,760
And when it's lit, you have to run
1328
01:11:04,840 --> 01:11:06,120
and cover your ears.
1329
01:11:07,040 --> 01:11:10,240
You want it to be loud,
but then you cover your ears.
1330
01:11:10,960 --> 01:11:13,320
The air is full of sulfur
and pieces of paper.
1331
01:11:13,400 --> 01:11:17,200
Everyone's nose is burning.
What the heck is this? What's the point?
1332
01:11:17,280 --> 01:11:18,880
That's the way it is.
1333
01:11:18,960 --> 01:11:20,840
Firecracker manufacturers, can't you just
1334
01:11:21,600 --> 01:11:23,160
make controllers instead?
1335
01:11:23,800 --> 01:11:25,720
The world would be a much better place.
1336
01:11:29,640 --> 01:11:31,920
And why do we have to use the big rolls?
1337
01:11:32,000 --> 01:11:35,200
I tell people, "We should just get
a small one. A roll of 100."
1338
01:11:36,480 --> 01:11:37,600
Done.
1339
01:11:37,680 --> 01:11:40,800
They'd say, "Those don't give you
the lucky numbers."
1340
01:11:45,600 --> 01:11:50,160
"We need to buy at least 500 to get
the lucky numbers for the lotto."
1341
01:11:50,240 --> 01:11:53,120
My mom no longer uses
regular incense sticks.
1342
01:11:53,200 --> 01:11:55,640
She uses the ones
that when you light them,
1343
01:11:56,480 --> 01:11:57,880
lucky numbers appear.
1344
01:11:57,960 --> 01:11:59,840
She uses them to buy lotto tickets.
1345
01:12:01,320 --> 01:12:03,600
I asked,
"What's the point of firecrackers?"
1346
01:12:03,680 --> 01:12:05,920
She said, "So your dad knows we're here."
1347
01:12:07,320 --> 01:12:09,200
"But Dad is a ghost."
1348
01:12:09,280 --> 01:12:12,800
"How can he not know we came?
Are we even father and son anymore?"
1349
01:12:12,880 --> 01:12:15,000
"Don't say that."
1350
01:12:15,080 --> 01:12:17,640
"The point is,
lighting firecrackers is like
1351
01:12:17,720 --> 01:12:20,080
we're calling him
1352
01:12:20,160 --> 01:12:22,240
to come eat the food here."
1353
01:12:23,120 --> 01:12:25,040
"How do you know it's Dad eating?"
1354
01:12:25,840 --> 01:12:28,560
"You see all these tombs
that no one visits?"
1355
01:12:29,360 --> 01:12:31,160
"What if they come eat our food?"
1356
01:12:33,840 --> 01:12:36,040
"And Dad likes fancy food and liquor."
1357
01:12:36,120 --> 01:12:40,040
"He's probably dining
at that big tomb over there."
1358
01:12:40,800 --> 01:12:42,480
"He's got taste."
1359
01:12:43,240 --> 01:12:46,640
"He wouldn't be squatting here,
eating this dry chicken."
1360
01:12:50,640 --> 01:12:52,560
"Why do I have to be here?"
1361
01:12:52,640 --> 01:12:55,400
"Because you have Chinese blood.
Your name, Taephanich."
1362
01:12:55,480 --> 01:12:58,000
"The Taephanichs all have Chinese names."
1363
01:12:58,080 --> 01:13:00,120
"Your dad's is Toh Kim."
1364
01:13:00,200 --> 01:13:02,200
"Your uncle's is Toh Kai."
1365
01:13:02,280 --> 01:13:07,320
"And there's Toh Leng, Toh Song,
Toh whatever, you name it."
1366
01:13:07,400 --> 01:13:09,320
So I asked, "What about me?"
1367
01:13:11,200 --> 01:13:13,400
She said, "You're Toh Tuek Tuek."
1368
01:13:20,600 --> 01:13:21,680
So I'm done with funerals.
1369
01:13:23,240 --> 01:13:24,640
I'm done with Tomb Sweeping Day.
1370
01:13:24,720 --> 01:13:26,440
Now chef's tables,
1371
01:13:26,520 --> 01:13:27,920
I won't do those either.
1372
01:13:28,920 --> 01:13:31,600
A chef's table is like omakase.
1373
01:13:31,680 --> 01:13:33,760
Omakase means
1374
01:13:33,840 --> 01:13:37,160
the trust you have in the chef.
1375
01:13:37,240 --> 01:13:38,600
So everything is up to them.
1376
01:13:38,680 --> 01:13:40,720
At omakase, you let them pick the food,
1377
01:13:40,800 --> 01:13:42,360
'cause you don't want to.
1378
01:13:43,480 --> 01:13:45,720
Deciding what to eat can start a fight
1379
01:13:46,520 --> 01:13:47,680
with your partner.
1380
01:13:47,760 --> 01:13:49,520
Those with a partner would know.
1381
01:13:51,080 --> 01:13:52,760
"What should we eat?"
1382
01:13:52,840 --> 01:13:54,920
The girl would say, "Anything."
1383
01:13:55,680 --> 01:14:00,600
I've talked about this before.
This word, "anything," can start a war.
1384
01:14:01,440 --> 01:14:04,000
So at omakase, you don't have to choose.
1385
01:14:04,080 --> 01:14:05,440
Let the chef decide.
1386
01:14:05,520 --> 01:14:07,120
I had an idea once
1387
01:14:07,880 --> 01:14:11,520
on how to solve this "anything" problem.
1388
01:14:11,600 --> 01:14:14,240
It'd be great if 7-Eleven
had ready-made meals
1389
01:14:15,760 --> 01:14:17,240
with no labels on them.
1390
01:14:17,320 --> 01:14:19,480
You won't know what's in them.
1391
01:14:19,560 --> 01:14:22,000
Mystery box meals.
1392
01:14:22,600 --> 01:14:24,080
You can't see inside.
1393
01:14:24,680 --> 01:14:27,800
When your SO says, "Anything,"
you can just grab a box,
1394
01:14:27,880 --> 01:14:29,800
and they'll have to eat it.
1395
01:14:36,600 --> 01:14:40,040
Okay, at with omakase,
you let the chefs choose the food for you.
1396
01:14:40,120 --> 01:14:44,280
However, chefs these days,
they don't just want to cook anymore.
1397
01:14:44,360 --> 01:14:46,120
They also want to do Ted Talks.
1398
01:14:46,920 --> 01:14:48,320
They like to tell stories.
1399
01:14:48,400 --> 01:14:49,920
Lots of stories.
1400
01:14:50,000 --> 01:14:51,840
They have a lot to share.
1401
01:14:51,920 --> 01:14:56,000
When I eat out,
I just want to eat and get it over with.
1402
01:14:57,000 --> 01:14:59,680
But when I go to omakase,
I have to wait a long time.
1403
01:14:59,760 --> 01:15:01,800
You know? They explain things.
1404
01:15:01,880 --> 01:15:04,560
There are so many tables,
but they just focus on me.
1405
01:15:04,640 --> 01:15:05,520
The chef said,
1406
01:15:05,600 --> 01:15:07,200
"Mr. Note,
1407
01:15:07,280 --> 01:15:10,040
this one is Ibérico pork."
1408
01:15:10,840 --> 01:15:12,800
I felt stupid. I had to look it up.
1409
01:15:13,640 --> 01:15:15,960
What the hell is Ibérico pork?
1410
01:15:16,040 --> 01:15:18,360
Does it come from the Aborigines?
1411
01:15:18,440 --> 01:15:20,520
They're not related.
It's just expensive pork.
1412
01:15:20,600 --> 01:15:24,320
"Ibérico pigs are very hard to breed,
very expensive."
1413
01:15:24,400 --> 01:15:28,240
"It took us over a year to dry-cure
this leg right here."
1414
01:15:28,320 --> 01:15:30,920
"Mr. Note, please enjoy it."
1415
01:15:31,000 --> 01:15:33,840
"You don't need to worry about the fat
1416
01:15:33,920 --> 01:15:37,280
because the pork is from our own farm
1417
01:15:37,360 --> 01:15:40,880
in the English countryside."
1418
01:15:40,960 --> 01:15:43,040
"Our pigs are fed
high-quality wheat bran."
1419
01:15:43,120 --> 01:15:47,480
"Most importantly, we mix it with salt.
Himalayan salt."
1420
01:15:47,560 --> 01:15:50,640
"Very high quality.
We mix it up and feed it to the pigs."
1421
01:15:50,720 --> 01:15:52,520
"Why do you need to put salt in it?"
1422
01:15:53,560 --> 01:15:55,840
"The pigs can taste the salt."
1423
01:15:55,920 --> 01:15:58,680
"When the pigs eat the food,
they will get thirsty."
1424
01:15:59,640 --> 01:16:00,720
"And?"
1425
01:16:01,520 --> 01:16:03,760
"We set up a pond on a hill."
1426
01:16:04,440 --> 01:16:07,080
"You have to hike up from the foothill
1427
01:16:07,160 --> 01:16:09,200
about one kilometer away."
1428
01:16:10,080 --> 01:16:12,640
"So we train the pigs, after their meal,
1429
01:16:12,720 --> 01:16:14,560
to walk up the hill
1430
01:16:15,280 --> 01:16:16,640
to drink at the pond."
1431
01:16:17,240 --> 01:16:18,520
"And?"
1432
01:16:18,600 --> 01:16:20,440
"After they drink, they get hungry
1433
01:16:20,520 --> 01:16:23,840
and have to walk down
another kilometer to eat."
1434
01:16:24,760 --> 01:16:28,400
"Then they go back up again,
doing another kilometer."
1435
01:16:29,240 --> 01:16:32,240
"So our pork, like this one here,
1436
01:16:32,320 --> 01:16:35,320
has no fat because the pigs got
continuous exercise."
1437
01:16:37,800 --> 01:16:40,440
Why would you tell me this?
1438
01:16:40,520 --> 01:16:43,560
You think I'm going enjoy it more?
1439
01:16:43,640 --> 01:16:45,760
You're committing sin, you moron.
1440
01:16:50,600 --> 01:16:52,520
Karma will bite you in the ass.
1441
01:16:53,240 --> 01:16:56,600
The next time you're taking a dump
at a PTT gas station,
1442
01:16:56,680 --> 01:17:00,360
the bidet, cleaning water, toilet paper
will all be at the Bangchak gas station.
1443
01:17:10,240 --> 01:17:13,280
At another chef's table,
the chef is quite famous.
1444
01:17:13,360 --> 01:17:15,000
He works at Workpoint.
1445
01:17:15,080 --> 01:17:19,440
"Mr. Note, this is the volcanic sea bass."
1446
01:17:19,520 --> 01:17:24,360
"And I am Thailand's only
brand ambassador of this fish."
1447
01:17:24,440 --> 01:17:26,120
"I have to tell you that
1448
01:17:26,200 --> 01:17:28,600
they are from our high-quality farm."
1449
01:17:28,680 --> 01:17:30,640
It's their own farm again.
1450
01:17:30,720 --> 01:17:34,680
"We raise them in a volcanic crater
in Indonesia."
1451
01:17:34,760 --> 01:17:37,600
I wasn't trying
to mess with him when I asked,
1452
01:17:38,760 --> 01:17:40,160
"Why all the way there?"
1453
01:17:40,240 --> 01:17:45,320
"Well, Mr. Note, it isn't dangerous
because it's an extinct volcano."
1454
01:17:45,400 --> 01:17:48,480
"There's a lake in the crater
from rainfall."
1455
01:17:48,560 --> 01:17:51,440
"There are lots of minerals
around a volcano,
1456
01:17:51,520 --> 01:17:53,360
so our sea bass are raised
1457
01:17:53,440 --> 01:17:55,600
in a water source full of minerals."
1458
01:17:55,680 --> 01:17:57,320
"What do you feed them?"
1459
01:17:57,400 --> 01:17:59,960
"They are fed dead volcanic sea bass
1460
01:18:00,040 --> 01:18:02,720
that have been dried
and ground into powder."
1461
01:18:02,800 --> 01:18:06,520
"So the ecosystem there
is full of minerals."
1462
01:18:06,600 --> 01:18:08,600
"The fish is thus packed with minerals."
1463
01:18:08,680 --> 01:18:10,600
"Please enjoy. There's no fat."
1464
01:18:11,280 --> 01:18:14,920
As I was eating,
Jo, Thana Thienachariya, texted me.
1465
01:18:16,080 --> 01:18:20,040
He was like,
"What's up? Wanna grab dinner?"
1466
01:18:20,120 --> 01:18:23,840
So I sent him a photo,
saying I'm at a chef's table,
1467
01:18:23,920 --> 01:18:26,800
the only place to get volcanic sea bass
in Thailand.
1468
01:18:26,880 --> 01:18:30,360
"You wanna join me?
What are you eating today?"
1469
01:18:30,440 --> 01:18:34,280
He said he was at Lhao Lhao,
and he sent me a photo of his food.
1470
01:18:34,360 --> 01:18:36,400
Volcanic sea bass.
1471
01:18:43,560 --> 01:18:46,560
Another chef was a one-Michelin star chef
from New York.
1472
01:18:46,640 --> 01:18:49,440
"Now that I'm back in Thailand,
I'm going to make waves
1473
01:18:49,520 --> 01:18:51,720
in the food industry
to amaze Thai people."
1474
01:18:51,800 --> 01:18:53,800
"I'll make roasted chicken
and fried chicken."
1475
01:18:53,880 --> 01:18:56,560
"How is that new? We have that here too."
1476
01:18:56,640 --> 01:19:00,240
"My chicken is very special.
I have my own farm."
1477
01:19:00,960 --> 01:19:02,240
Again?
1478
01:19:02,320 --> 01:19:06,240
"My chickens are raised
by a stream in Chiang Rai."
1479
01:19:06,320 --> 01:19:09,800
"They drink from the stream,
which is very pure."
1480
01:19:09,880 --> 01:19:13,360
"They're raised on a longan farm.
My own longan farm."
1481
01:19:13,440 --> 01:19:17,080
"So the chickens feed on longans.
Their meat becomes more tender."
1482
01:19:17,160 --> 01:19:20,000
"And did you know that
longans are good for the knee?"
1483
01:19:20,080 --> 01:19:24,280
"They use longan extract
to make knee oil."
1484
01:19:24,840 --> 01:19:27,440
"This will be our selling point."
1485
01:19:27,520 --> 01:19:29,920
I thought to myself, I have gout.
1486
01:19:31,120 --> 01:19:32,800
Chickens are birds.
1487
01:19:32,880 --> 01:19:34,920
Whatever you feed them,
1488
01:19:36,600 --> 01:19:38,560
I'll still get a gout attack.
1489
01:19:40,640 --> 01:19:44,720
Recently, I went to a place
in Ratchaphruek.
1490
01:19:44,800 --> 01:19:47,720
The Ratchaphruek compound.
It was a fancy omakase.
1491
01:19:47,800 --> 01:19:49,480
I went with Reed of Aroi Lert
1492
01:19:49,560 --> 01:19:51,240
and Sorayuth.
1493
01:19:51,320 --> 01:19:54,880
It was a very expensive restaurant.
But did that bother me?
1494
01:19:54,960 --> 01:19:56,840
No, because they were paying.
1495
01:19:57,880 --> 01:20:01,560
It was a whole other level
of Japanese fine dining.
1496
01:20:01,640 --> 01:20:06,200
The chef wasn't just wearing
a white uniform with a white hat.
1497
01:20:06,280 --> 01:20:09,520
There was this huge plank
in front of the table.
1498
01:20:09,600 --> 01:20:13,400
And the chef's uniform was like that of…
1499
01:20:13,480 --> 01:20:16,120
a Japanese warrior, with ropes and stuff.
1500
01:20:16,200 --> 01:20:19,240
I must say, his uniform alone
was worth the experience.
1501
01:20:19,320 --> 01:20:22,480
He filleted the fish and served it to me.
1502
01:20:26,880 --> 01:20:30,520
He sounded very Japanese,
but his face said northeast Thailand.
1503
01:20:34,280 --> 01:20:35,760
"Mr. Note,
1504
01:20:35,840 --> 01:20:38,240
this fish here is very rare."
1505
01:20:38,320 --> 01:20:41,480
"It's seasonal and very hard to find."
1506
01:20:41,560 --> 01:20:44,120
"This is the last one for this shipment."
1507
01:20:44,200 --> 01:20:45,560
"It's called…"
1508
01:20:45,640 --> 01:20:48,080
He then said the fish name.
I don't remember what it was.
1509
01:20:48,160 --> 01:20:51,240
Let's call it Shogi Mitsu Monogatari.
1510
01:20:52,320 --> 01:20:56,120
"To catch Shogi Mitsu Monogatari,
you have to do it naturally,
1511
01:20:56,200 --> 01:20:59,080
under a cliff in a stream."
1512
01:20:59,160 --> 01:21:01,520
"They live in pairs."
1513
01:21:01,600 --> 01:21:03,960
"They're like hornbills."
1514
01:21:04,040 --> 01:21:06,080
"They only have one partner in life."
1515
01:21:06,160 --> 01:21:08,320
"We catch them during their hibernation,
1516
01:21:08,400 --> 01:21:10,400
because that's when
they have a lot of fat.
1517
01:21:10,480 --> 01:21:14,680
The good fat. We don't take the females,
because they have too much fat."
1518
01:21:14,760 --> 01:21:16,680
"It can be too greasy."
1519
01:21:16,760 --> 01:21:18,960
"The males have the right amount
of fat and texture."
1520
01:21:19,040 --> 01:21:21,440
"Even otoro can't compete with this."
1521
01:21:21,520 --> 01:21:24,360
Then he put it in front of me.
1522
01:21:25,720 --> 01:21:27,120
I thought to myself,
1523
01:21:28,400 --> 01:21:29,840
how can I enjoy this?
1524
01:21:31,040 --> 01:21:33,000
You just told me that they mate for life.
1525
01:21:34,080 --> 01:21:36,840
One partner for life.
And you separated them.
1526
01:21:38,000 --> 01:21:40,720
Now there's a Shogi Mitsu Monogatari widow
1527
01:21:40,800 --> 01:21:43,240
living under the cliffs all alone.
1528
01:21:43,320 --> 01:21:44,840
How can I eat this?
1529
01:21:46,280 --> 01:21:50,480
These chefs…
Sometimes I want to tie them all up
1530
01:21:50,560 --> 01:21:52,640
and make them eat the food I make.
1531
01:21:53,480 --> 01:21:56,320
"Hey chefs, look. This is a catfish."
1532
01:21:57,000 --> 01:21:58,520
"This catfish
1533
01:21:59,680 --> 01:22:01,360
was raised
1534
01:22:01,440 --> 01:22:04,520
in a fish cage at Wat Tha Makham,
1535
01:22:05,440 --> 01:22:06,880
which is an animal sanctuary."
1536
01:22:08,640 --> 01:22:10,760
"They were fed fish-food pellets
1537
01:22:11,720 --> 01:22:14,480
given by righteous temple-goers."
1538
01:22:14,560 --> 01:22:16,640
"They get to listen to sermons
twice a day."
1539
01:22:18,160 --> 01:22:21,840
"We catch them at the best time,
which is when the abbot isn't looking."
1540
01:22:29,160 --> 01:22:33,080
"We didn't force them in any way.
They all died voluntarily."
1541
01:22:33,800 --> 01:22:36,080
"Because we just prayed, 'Dear fish,
1542
01:22:37,040 --> 01:22:38,960
if your time has come,
1543
01:22:39,040 --> 01:22:41,720
just float to the surface.'"
1544
01:22:41,800 --> 01:22:44,400
"Then we put 220 volts of electricity
1545
01:22:45,200 --> 01:22:46,680
into the water,
1546
01:22:48,000 --> 01:22:50,840
and they just floated
to the surface naturally."
1547
01:22:52,360 --> 01:22:55,520
"We grilled them at a steady temperature
1548
01:22:55,600 --> 01:22:57,640
in the incinerator at the temple."
1549
01:22:59,840 --> 01:23:02,720
You think hearing this
would make the food taste better?
1550
01:23:03,680 --> 01:23:07,560
I don't think it matters
if the fish are from the moon.
1551
01:23:07,640 --> 01:23:09,560
What matters is if you cook it well.
1552
01:23:09,640 --> 01:23:12,240
I think, at a chef's table,
1553
01:23:12,320 --> 01:23:15,640
they serve too little, take too long,
and talk too much.
1554
01:23:23,120 --> 01:23:25,440
Another thing that I can't take anymore
1555
01:23:27,080 --> 01:23:28,800
is a squat toilet.
1556
01:23:29,720 --> 01:23:32,280
Those of you who are still young,
1557
01:23:32,360 --> 01:23:35,560
aren't fat, and don't have knee problems
wouldn't understand.
1558
01:23:35,640 --> 01:23:37,560
When I was your age,
1559
01:23:37,640 --> 01:23:39,960
I never thought it was a problem
to use a squat toilet.
1560
01:23:40,040 --> 01:23:42,520
But as you get older,
1561
01:23:42,600 --> 01:23:44,320
you feel tight around here.
1562
01:23:44,400 --> 01:23:47,640
Or if you're fat
or have knee pain or leg pain.
1563
01:23:47,720 --> 01:23:51,120
In my case, it's worse
because I had ACL surgery,
1564
01:23:51,200 --> 01:23:54,680
where they replaced a torn ligament
with a segment of tendon
1565
01:23:54,760 --> 01:23:58,560
which is secured with two screws,
so I can fold my knee just this much.
1566
01:23:58,640 --> 01:24:02,320
If I force it any further,
I'll feel as if my leg is falling out.
1567
01:24:02,400 --> 01:24:03,760
When I was a monk,
1568
01:24:03,840 --> 01:24:07,360
I saw other monks have no problem
sitting cross-legged.
1569
01:24:07,440 --> 01:24:10,840
But in my case, I had to sit like this
1570
01:24:10,920 --> 01:24:13,640
when I was praying or doing the chants.
1571
01:24:13,720 --> 01:24:17,240
So I was the center of attention
in the temple.
1572
01:24:17,320 --> 01:24:19,640
But I have this issue,
this mobility issue.
1573
01:24:19,720 --> 01:24:21,760
I can't squat. I can't bend my knee.
1574
01:24:21,840 --> 01:24:25,400
So life gets hard
when I have to use a squat toilet.
1575
01:24:25,480 --> 01:24:27,360
It's pure hell.
1576
01:24:27,440 --> 01:24:32,520
In gas stations in Bangkok,
they all have sitting toilets.
1577
01:24:34,360 --> 01:24:38,040
But if you go outside Bangkok,
you only get it in a disabled toilet.
1578
01:24:38,120 --> 01:24:39,880
The rest are squat toilets.
1579
01:24:39,960 --> 01:24:41,600
I have to confess
1580
01:24:41,680 --> 01:24:44,080
that I always sneak into
a disabled toilet.
1581
01:24:45,080 --> 01:24:46,520
My thought was,
1582
01:24:46,600 --> 01:24:48,680
if I ever got caught,
1583
01:24:48,760 --> 01:24:51,320
I'd tell them I'm mentally disabled.
1584
01:24:52,480 --> 01:24:54,480
That's the only way.
1585
01:24:55,400 --> 01:24:57,680
In other situations, what do I do?
1586
01:24:57,760 --> 01:24:59,360
I love street food.
1587
01:24:59,440 --> 01:25:02,480
I love trying different places,
as you may have seen in the clips.
1588
01:25:02,560 --> 01:25:04,520
I go to the Walking Street.
1589
01:25:04,600 --> 01:25:07,280
Once, I had squid skewers.
1590
01:25:07,360 --> 01:25:10,440
As I was eating, I could feel it coming.
1591
01:25:10,520 --> 01:25:13,680
I didn't know my way around the area.
1592
01:25:13,760 --> 01:25:16,360
And, as a recognizable face,
1593
01:25:16,440 --> 01:25:18,360
as a celebrity,
1594
01:25:18,440 --> 01:25:21,400
when you feel like you have diarrhea,
1595
01:25:21,480 --> 01:25:24,040
you need to find a toilet ASAP.
1596
01:25:24,120 --> 01:25:26,720
Otherwise, if you get spotted,
1597
01:25:26,800 --> 01:25:29,440
people will want to take photos,
and it'll never end.
1598
01:25:29,520 --> 01:25:30,960
People will keep coming.
1599
01:25:31,040 --> 01:25:33,640
Selfies, group photos,
1600
01:25:33,720 --> 01:25:35,720
retakes, this and that.
1601
01:25:35,800 --> 01:25:38,320
Adjustments. Posting on TikTok.
1602
01:25:39,000 --> 01:25:43,240
And you can't have your shit
running down your legs.
1603
01:25:43,320 --> 01:25:47,280
So I needed to go as soon as possible,
anywhere.
1604
01:25:47,360 --> 01:25:50,320
I needed to find
any kind of public toilet. Any.
1605
01:25:50,400 --> 01:25:52,600
I couldn't be picky at this point.
1606
01:25:52,680 --> 01:25:54,120
So I got myself
1607
01:25:54,960 --> 01:25:56,640
into a public toilet.
1608
01:25:56,720 --> 01:25:59,960
It was that kind of toilet
where if there's a lock,
1609
01:26:00,040 --> 01:26:01,480
consider yourself lucky.
1610
01:26:01,560 --> 01:26:04,240
Usually there will be some wires
to keep it shut.
1611
01:26:04,320 --> 01:26:05,880
So I got in.
1612
01:26:07,160 --> 01:26:08,400
Oh, dear.
1613
01:26:09,760 --> 01:26:12,600
I needed to compose myself when I saw
1614
01:26:12,680 --> 01:26:14,480
that yellowish squat toilet.
1615
01:26:14,560 --> 01:26:15,880
Imagine this.
1616
01:26:15,960 --> 01:26:17,880
There's a small water tub,
1617
01:26:17,960 --> 01:26:19,200
a square one,
1618
01:26:19,280 --> 01:26:20,520
with barely any water.
1619
01:26:20,600 --> 01:26:21,600
Barely.
1620
01:26:22,280 --> 01:26:25,240
In there is an old bowl with cracks
1621
01:26:25,320 --> 01:26:27,280
and some rust on it.
1622
01:26:27,360 --> 01:26:29,640
Over the tub is a leaking water tap
1623
01:26:29,720 --> 01:26:32,440
wrapped with a plastic rope
to help with the leak.
1624
01:26:33,600 --> 01:26:37,080
The bin is overflowing
with used toilet paper.
1625
01:26:37,160 --> 01:26:39,880
It was like 300 people
had been in there that day.
1626
01:26:40,600 --> 01:26:43,480
The floor is wet and muddy.
1627
01:26:43,560 --> 01:26:46,560
You can't tell if it's someone's pee.
1628
01:26:46,640 --> 01:26:48,160
The floor is uneven.
1629
01:26:48,240 --> 01:26:50,680
Water puddles cover the floor.
1630
01:26:50,760 --> 01:26:54,240
The whole scene just looks
very suspicious.
1631
01:26:56,840 --> 01:27:00,640
There are no hooks on the wall
for you to hang anything.
1632
01:27:00,720 --> 01:27:02,560
Just a bare wall. Shit.
1633
01:27:02,640 --> 01:27:04,440
And it's so hot.
1634
01:27:04,520 --> 01:27:07,280
But you can't leave
to find another toilet.
1635
01:27:07,360 --> 01:27:08,360
You can't,
1636
01:27:08,440 --> 01:27:11,240
or someone else is going to take this one.
1637
01:27:11,320 --> 01:27:13,600
So you have to deal with it.
1638
01:27:13,680 --> 01:27:15,000
So here's what I did.
1639
01:27:15,080 --> 01:27:17,160
First, I strategized
1640
01:27:17,920 --> 01:27:19,840
how I was going to deal with this.
1641
01:27:19,920 --> 01:27:22,040
All right. I'll pull down my pants.
1642
01:27:22,120 --> 01:27:26,240
I'll pull them down to my ankles.
1643
01:27:29,440 --> 01:27:30,920
That won't do.
1644
01:27:31,000 --> 01:27:33,000
Because then my poop
1645
01:27:34,080 --> 01:27:35,880
would fall onto my pants.
1646
01:27:35,960 --> 01:27:37,560
Damn it.
1647
01:27:37,640 --> 01:27:41,000
What if I pull them off all the way?
1648
01:27:41,080 --> 01:27:44,200
Nowhere to hang them.
Or maybe I can put them over the door.
1649
01:27:45,360 --> 01:27:47,240
But my phone and wallet are in there.
1650
01:27:47,320 --> 01:27:48,600
I saw in a video
1651
01:27:49,400 --> 01:27:52,080
that someone can easily
take away your pants.
1652
01:27:52,680 --> 01:27:55,680
Someone like Note Udom
can't be walking around,
1653
01:27:55,760 --> 01:27:57,880
asking, "Have you seen my pants?"
1654
01:27:57,960 --> 01:28:00,880
That can't happen. What should I do?
1655
01:28:01,680 --> 01:28:03,560
Shit. I feel it coming.
1656
01:28:03,640 --> 01:28:06,000
I can't hold it in anymore.
What should I do?
1657
01:28:06,080 --> 01:28:08,200
All right. Calm down.
1658
01:28:09,400 --> 01:28:12,360
I know. I'll take them off
and wrap them around my arm.
1659
01:28:13,640 --> 01:28:15,160
You know what I mean?
1660
01:28:16,400 --> 01:28:17,760
No?
1661
01:28:49,080 --> 01:28:51,320
Actually, I took off my undies too.
1662
01:28:52,440 --> 01:28:54,680
Should we go there?
1663
01:28:55,920 --> 01:28:57,960
Just use your imagination.
1664
01:28:58,040 --> 01:29:00,200
My undies are here.
1665
01:29:11,760 --> 01:29:13,440
Do you want to zoom in?
1666
01:29:15,160 --> 01:29:18,720
For those of you who want to try this,
1667
01:29:18,800 --> 01:29:20,040
let me warn you.
1668
01:29:23,080 --> 01:29:27,400
Make sure your butthole isn't directly
over that curve in the toilet bowl.
1669
01:29:28,080 --> 01:29:30,200
Because when you poop,
1670
01:29:30,280 --> 01:29:31,720
the law of impact
1671
01:29:32,800 --> 01:29:34,520
will cause the poop to splash.
1672
01:29:34,600 --> 01:29:37,720
That will mess up your thighs
and your favorite sneakers.
1673
01:29:37,800 --> 01:29:41,040
You know what I mean? Walk up one step.
1674
01:29:42,640 --> 01:29:46,240
Now that you're in a good position,
it'll flow smoothly.
1675
01:29:46,320 --> 01:29:49,280
Then, you do the squat.
1676
01:29:49,360 --> 01:29:51,680
Keep going. Keep it steady.
1677
01:29:51,760 --> 01:29:53,480
Go. Keep going.
1678
01:29:56,320 --> 01:29:58,720
Keep going. Don't stop.
1679
01:30:03,160 --> 01:30:04,520
But then,
1680
01:30:05,280 --> 01:30:08,560
those with bad legs or knees
won't be able to do this for long.
1681
01:30:08,640 --> 01:30:10,760
That's because you tend to sink lower
1682
01:30:10,840 --> 01:30:13,200
as you keep holding the squat.
1683
01:30:13,920 --> 01:30:17,720
Not to mention it's stinky and hot.
The wet floor makes it worse.
1684
01:30:17,800 --> 01:30:19,760
Right then, what I needed was…
1685
01:30:19,840 --> 01:30:22,440
I kept sinking lower,
but I'm not finished yet.
1686
01:30:22,520 --> 01:30:23,600
I just needed…
1687
01:30:24,600 --> 01:30:26,640
something to hold on to.
1688
01:30:26,720 --> 01:30:28,600
What I really needed right then
1689
01:30:28,680 --> 01:30:31,840
was the rope women used to deliver babies
back in the day.
1690
01:30:33,120 --> 01:30:36,160
God help me.
There was nothing for me to hold on to.
1691
01:30:36,240 --> 01:30:39,480
I'm being honest here.
I was shitting and crying.
1692
01:30:40,840 --> 01:30:43,840
The tears ran down my face. Damn it.
1693
01:30:44,760 --> 01:30:48,880
What have I done
to deserve something like this?
1694
01:30:49,480 --> 01:30:53,320
Tears were running down my face and shit
was coming out of me at the same time.
1695
01:30:53,400 --> 01:30:56,200
Finally, I couldn't hold on any longer.
1696
01:30:56,280 --> 01:30:58,560
The floor was so wet.
1697
01:30:58,640 --> 01:31:01,480
"No. Shit, no. I can't anymore. I can't."
1698
01:31:03,560 --> 01:31:05,000
I put my fingers down.
1699
01:31:16,200 --> 01:31:19,320
I never thought
I would be pooping in a pose, like…
1700
01:31:21,120 --> 01:31:24,840
like an American football player
heading for a touchdown.
1701
01:31:24,920 --> 01:31:27,880
It was so disgusting.
I was like, "My hand."
1702
01:31:27,960 --> 01:31:31,800
But I had to, because my knee was hurting
like it was going to pop.
1703
01:31:31,880 --> 01:31:36,000
As I was crying and pooping,
I was like, "Damn it."
1704
01:31:39,040 --> 01:31:40,200
I kept going.
1705
01:31:40,280 --> 01:31:42,680
And then my weight got the better of me.
1706
01:31:42,760 --> 01:31:45,480
My hand was shaking
like it was going to cramp.
1707
01:31:45,560 --> 01:31:48,280
I couldn't go on, so I used my whole hand.
1708
01:31:50,800 --> 01:31:52,840
My pooping pose
1709
01:31:53,920 --> 01:31:55,800
was like a hero in The Avengers.
1710
01:32:01,280 --> 01:32:03,760
When all was said and done,
1711
01:32:03,840 --> 01:32:06,080
I was like, "Damn it."
1712
01:32:06,640 --> 01:32:08,280
Can I cut off my hand?
1713
01:32:09,200 --> 01:32:11,720
This is not my hand.
1714
01:32:11,800 --> 01:32:13,240
Not anymore.
1715
01:32:15,000 --> 01:32:17,880
What should I do?
Who knows what nastiness it touched?
1716
01:32:17,960 --> 01:32:19,680
What should I do with this?
1717
01:32:22,440 --> 01:32:23,960
An evil thought crept in.
1718
01:32:24,840 --> 01:32:26,360
There was a tub right there.
1719
01:32:30,040 --> 01:32:31,760
You know? What if I did this?
1720
01:32:33,560 --> 01:32:35,760
But deep down, I felt guilty.
1721
01:32:35,840 --> 01:32:37,680
I still had some decency.
1722
01:32:37,760 --> 01:32:39,600
Other people will be using this.
1723
01:32:39,680 --> 01:32:41,040
Okay.
1724
01:32:41,120 --> 01:32:42,560
What do I do?
1725
01:32:42,640 --> 01:32:44,480
I know. Let's do this.
1726
01:32:46,360 --> 01:32:47,400
Where's the bowl?
1727
01:32:48,880 --> 01:32:51,880
So I took the bowl
and scooped up some water.
1728
01:32:51,960 --> 01:32:54,000
It had cracks, so the water was dripping.
1729
01:33:03,320 --> 01:33:05,360
I was washing my hand like this.
1730
01:33:05,440 --> 01:33:07,960
I kept doing this, cleaning it bit by bit,
1731
01:33:08,040 --> 01:33:11,080
until my hand was clean enough.
1732
01:33:16,480 --> 01:33:18,560
What now?
1733
01:33:19,160 --> 01:33:22,360
There's no toilet paper.
I don't carry tissues. I'm not a woman.
1734
01:33:22,440 --> 01:33:24,840
Okay. Let's just put on the pants.
1735
01:33:24,920 --> 01:33:27,120
Walk out. No one has to know.
1736
01:33:28,240 --> 01:33:32,160
But what if my fans see me, you know?
1737
01:33:32,240 --> 01:33:34,720
A photo from the back
would reveal stains on my butt.
1738
01:33:34,800 --> 01:33:36,360
My reputation would be ruined.
1739
01:33:36,440 --> 01:33:40,280
How am I going to clean my butt now?
Let's try the dipper again.
1740
01:33:41,720 --> 01:33:44,160
I scooped up some water.
The water dripped.
1741
01:33:46,760 --> 01:33:49,760
Now what? This will be a mess.
How about here?
1742
01:33:49,840 --> 01:33:53,160
I'm not Jackie Chan. I can't put my leg
up the wall and just splash water
1743
01:33:53,240 --> 01:33:55,160
on my butt everywhere.
1744
01:33:55,240 --> 01:33:58,600
Shit! How am I going to get out of here?
1745
01:33:59,200 --> 01:34:01,080
Think. I have to think.
1746
01:34:03,360 --> 01:34:05,000
Wait. I have this.
1747
01:34:20,960 --> 01:34:23,920
It really worked. Let me tell you.
1748
01:34:31,520 --> 01:34:33,200
Easy breezy.
1749
01:34:33,280 --> 01:34:34,400
Fold it like this.
1750
01:34:35,520 --> 01:34:37,200
And that's done.
1751
01:34:45,640 --> 01:34:46,680
That's…
1752
01:34:47,640 --> 01:34:49,400
for your entertainment.
1753
01:34:59,800 --> 01:35:02,440
You know, in K-pop concerts,
1754
01:35:02,520 --> 01:35:03,840
with Korean artists,
1755
01:35:03,920 --> 01:35:06,280
the fans would go crazy
1756
01:35:07,720 --> 01:35:12,160
when the artists wipe their faces
on a scarf or something.
1757
01:35:12,240 --> 01:35:15,080
The fans would fight for it.
1758
01:35:15,160 --> 01:35:18,520
Screaming, "That's mine!"
1759
01:35:18,600 --> 01:35:19,920
Don't fight here.
1760
01:35:21,880 --> 01:35:23,240
I'll shoot it at you.
1761
01:35:27,320 --> 01:35:28,680
You don't want it?
1762
01:35:31,480 --> 01:35:34,920
-You want it? You're kidding.
-I want it. The other one too.
1763
01:35:41,120 --> 01:35:42,440
One is better.
1764
01:35:42,520 --> 01:35:45,160
It's a pair of socks. You know?
1765
01:35:45,240 --> 01:35:47,840
You have one, I have the other.
1766
01:35:54,880 --> 01:35:57,160
That incident made me…
1767
01:35:57,840 --> 01:36:01,080
That made me realize that I have bad karma
1768
01:36:01,160 --> 01:36:03,040
with toilets.
1769
01:36:03,120 --> 01:36:07,120
After that, I made lots of donations
to build toilets at schools, temples.
1770
01:36:07,200 --> 01:36:10,000
Usually when people make merit,
they pray for things
1771
01:36:10,080 --> 01:36:12,400
like a long life, happiness, health,
1772
01:36:12,480 --> 01:36:14,520
going to heaven, stuff like that.
1773
01:36:14,600 --> 01:36:16,280
Not me. I'm like,
1774
01:36:16,920 --> 01:36:18,720
"Whenever I have diarrhea,
1775
01:36:19,600 --> 01:36:22,200
let there be a toilet nearby."
1776
01:36:22,880 --> 01:36:25,520
"Let there be a regular toilet
with lights, clean water,
1777
01:36:25,600 --> 01:36:28,520
a bowl, toilet paper,
and a lock on the door."
1778
01:36:28,600 --> 01:36:31,160
"Let there be no snakes, no toads,
no geckos, no creatures."
1779
01:36:31,240 --> 01:36:34,080
"Let there always be
a good toilet for me."
1780
01:36:34,160 --> 01:36:36,000
"Amen."
1781
01:36:43,240 --> 01:36:45,720
So that's what I won't tolerate.
1782
01:36:46,440 --> 01:36:50,120
There's another thing
that I won't tolerate anymore.
1783
01:36:50,200 --> 01:36:53,680
It's not an object, not a person.
1784
01:36:53,760 --> 01:36:54,920
It's…
1785
01:36:55,800 --> 01:36:59,120
a ghost that's living in my house.
1786
01:36:59,200 --> 01:37:03,000
There's this ghost
that I talked about last time.
1787
01:37:03,080 --> 01:37:04,720
It's still there.
1788
01:37:04,800 --> 01:37:08,440
I don't know what to do with it.
1789
01:37:08,520 --> 01:37:12,080
So I brought Oum Oim
from The Sixth Sense to my house.
1790
01:37:12,160 --> 01:37:15,320
As you know, my house
is a building with three floors.
1791
01:37:15,400 --> 01:37:16,760
I live on the top floor.
1792
01:37:16,840 --> 01:37:19,400
The second floor is the office.
The first floor is for meetings.
1793
01:37:19,480 --> 01:37:21,560
Oum Oim walked into my house
1794
01:37:21,640 --> 01:37:24,920
and took the elevator to the third floor.
1795
01:37:25,000 --> 01:37:26,800
She walked out to the living room,
1796
01:37:26,880 --> 01:37:30,640
which is around 12 to 15 meters long.
1797
01:37:30,720 --> 01:37:32,280
It's an open space.
1798
01:37:32,360 --> 01:37:34,000
Let's say the elevator's here.
1799
01:37:34,080 --> 01:37:35,800
This right here
1800
01:37:37,360 --> 01:37:39,720
is the wall before we reach the bedroom.
1801
01:37:39,800 --> 01:37:42,040
This is the bedroom door.
1802
01:37:42,120 --> 01:37:44,280
This is a wall.
1803
01:37:44,360 --> 01:37:46,000
The bedroom's here.
1804
01:37:46,080 --> 01:37:47,920
We walked out of the elevator.
1805
01:37:50,960 --> 01:37:53,440
Oum Oim walked around,
using her sixth sense.
1806
01:37:56,080 --> 01:37:59,920
I was right behind her.
I asked, "Is it still here?"
1807
01:38:00,600 --> 01:38:04,480
Som, the first person I brought,
1808
01:38:04,560 --> 01:38:07,160
told me that it was sitting here.
1809
01:38:07,240 --> 01:38:09,040
That it sat there the whole time.
1810
01:38:10,640 --> 01:38:13,760
Oum Oim went closer and looked.
1811
01:38:13,840 --> 01:38:18,120
She said, "No. It's not here.
Can I go into your bedroom?"
1812
01:38:18,200 --> 01:38:19,880
So we went into the bedroom.
1813
01:38:26,240 --> 01:38:28,320
"There, at the head of your bed."
1814
01:38:29,680 --> 01:38:32,760
Shit. All this time,
I thought it was out there.
1815
01:38:36,560 --> 01:38:40,280
"How did it get here? It followed us?"
"No, this is its place."
1816
01:38:40,360 --> 01:38:42,320
What? "Why is it here?"
1817
01:38:42,400 --> 01:38:44,400
"He watches you sleep every night."
1818
01:38:44,960 --> 01:38:46,320
Shit.
1819
01:38:47,840 --> 01:38:50,680
"How does he watch me? How, Oum Oim?"
1820
01:38:50,760 --> 01:38:53,720
"Here. Like this.
This is where you sleep."
1821
01:38:53,800 --> 01:38:55,440
"He stands here like this."
1822
01:38:57,920 --> 01:38:59,400
What the heck?
1823
01:39:00,840 --> 01:39:04,000
"I see his routine.
He's at the head of the bed
1824
01:39:04,080 --> 01:39:05,920
and at the end of the bed."
1825
01:39:06,000 --> 01:39:09,560
"This is his area.
This is where he lives."
1826
01:39:10,520 --> 01:39:11,960
What?
1827
01:39:12,040 --> 01:39:14,040
"Do you have anything to say to him?"
1828
01:39:15,360 --> 01:39:18,360
It's like this. Oum Oim was standing here.
1829
01:39:18,440 --> 01:39:19,760
Right here.
1830
01:39:19,840 --> 01:39:22,000
She said the ghost was there.
1831
01:39:22,080 --> 01:39:23,520
And I was here.
1832
01:39:24,360 --> 01:39:26,760
"Do you have anything to say to him?"
1833
01:39:28,360 --> 01:39:30,360
Now it's like I have an interpreter.
1834
01:39:30,440 --> 01:39:32,200
"Ask him
1835
01:39:32,280 --> 01:39:35,160
where he's from and what he's doing here."
1836
01:39:36,280 --> 01:39:38,680
"He said that he was an ancient Thai man
1837
01:39:38,760 --> 01:39:42,880
who died here and had lived here
long before you moved in."
1838
01:39:42,960 --> 01:39:47,880
"Back in the day,
this was a canal for cargo shipping."
1839
01:39:47,960 --> 01:39:49,240
"He died here."
1840
01:39:50,080 --> 01:39:52,040
"What does he look like?"
1841
01:39:53,080 --> 01:39:55,640
"He's dark, tall, and pretty big."
1842
01:39:55,720 --> 01:39:58,080
"He's wearing a loincloth."
1843
01:40:01,240 --> 01:40:03,080
"Why is he staying here?"
1844
01:40:04,320 --> 01:40:06,000
"He said he likes it here."
1845
01:40:07,160 --> 01:40:08,960
"Out of all places?"
1846
01:40:09,040 --> 01:40:11,400
"Go to someone else's house.
Theirs are much nicer."
1847
01:40:11,480 --> 01:40:15,520
"He says merit is abundant here.
He doesn't get as much at other houses."
1848
01:40:15,600 --> 01:40:17,960
"A lot of merit-making and dedication
goes on here."
1849
01:40:18,040 --> 01:40:19,320
"He gets merit here."
1850
01:40:22,320 --> 01:40:24,400
Between my mom's house and mine,
1851
01:40:24,480 --> 01:40:26,720
there's a tamarind tree
with the girth of two hugs.
1852
01:40:27,400 --> 01:40:30,360
It's a huge tree.
Taller than this stage set.
1853
01:40:31,200 --> 01:40:34,720
"Oum Oim, can you tell him
to move to the tamarind tree instead?"
1854
01:40:34,800 --> 01:40:37,240
"He's troublesome here. Go to the tree."
1855
01:40:38,000 --> 01:40:41,080
"He says it's pretty crowded there."
1856
01:40:48,960 --> 01:40:52,600
"Ask him why he keeps making
knocking sounds at the head of the bed."
1857
01:40:52,680 --> 01:40:53,760
"It bothers me."
1858
01:40:55,040 --> 01:40:57,760
It sounds like this.
Same time every night.
1859
01:40:58,280 --> 01:40:59,680
All around.
1860
01:41:01,280 --> 01:41:04,600
"He says it's because you're rude to him."
1861
01:41:05,920 --> 01:41:07,600
This is true.
1862
01:41:07,680 --> 01:41:09,320
In this entire world,
1863
01:41:09,400 --> 01:41:11,840
I'm the only one who knows that I do this.
1864
01:41:13,040 --> 01:41:14,840
I live alone.
1865
01:41:14,920 --> 01:41:17,680
When the elevator opens, it's a dark room
1866
01:41:17,760 --> 01:41:20,720
you must walk past
before you reach the bedroom.
1867
01:41:20,800 --> 01:41:21,800
I…
1868
01:41:22,680 --> 01:41:24,840
Whenever I walked past it, I'd get chills.
1869
01:41:25,560 --> 01:41:29,520
When humans are scared,
we usually express it in aggressive ways.
1870
01:41:29,600 --> 01:41:32,560
This is really just to help us cope
with our fear.
1871
01:41:32,640 --> 01:41:35,040
When the elevator opened, I knew for sure.
1872
01:41:35,120 --> 01:41:36,920
I could feel him sitting there.
1873
01:41:37,560 --> 01:41:39,760
So I impersonated Auntie Rattana.
1874
01:41:42,960 --> 01:41:44,320
"Asshole!"
1875
01:41:45,520 --> 01:41:48,240
"Don't you even dare, you asshole!"
1876
01:41:48,320 --> 01:41:49,760
"Keep your distance."
1877
01:41:49,840 --> 01:41:53,360
"Ghosts and humans don't mix.
Don't even think about scaring me."
1878
01:41:53,440 --> 01:41:56,360
"Karma's going to punish
you hard. Asshole!"
1879
01:41:56,440 --> 01:41:57,960
Then I closed the door.
1880
01:41:58,040 --> 01:41:59,960
I thought that would keep him out.
1881
01:42:06,800 --> 01:42:09,160
Now I find out
he watches me sleep every night.
1882
01:42:12,080 --> 01:42:14,000
I thought to myself, "Dude!"
1883
01:42:14,080 --> 01:42:17,040
I'm already scared.
What do you want me to say?
1884
01:42:17,120 --> 01:42:20,480
"Oum Oim, I have a question.
What should I say to him? Like, what?"
1885
01:42:20,560 --> 01:42:23,520
I come home from work.
I step out of the elevator.
1886
01:42:24,640 --> 01:42:26,680
"Did you miss me?"
1887
01:42:28,160 --> 01:42:30,480
"Are you craving merit?"
1888
01:42:30,560 --> 01:42:33,320
"You want some merit? I'll send you some."
1889
01:42:33,400 --> 01:42:38,040
"I have milk, Nutella, and KitKat flavors.
Yummy stuff."
1890
01:42:47,840 --> 01:42:49,320
"Oum Oim, ask him for me."
1891
01:42:49,400 --> 01:42:51,280
"What does he want
in exchange for leaving?"
1892
01:42:51,960 --> 01:42:54,320
"He says he wants you to build
a spirit house for him."
1893
01:42:55,360 --> 01:42:57,880
I asked, "How about this?
Is a small spirit house okay?"
1894
01:42:57,960 --> 01:43:00,480
I was thinking of those
modern spirit houses.
1895
01:43:00,560 --> 01:43:03,040
I could get a minimal one
to go with the house decor.
1896
01:43:03,120 --> 01:43:05,080
So I said I could get a small one.
1897
01:43:05,160 --> 01:43:08,120
Can it be downstairs by the bathroom?
There's a bathroom downstairs.
1898
01:43:08,720 --> 01:43:10,440
"He says it's not honorable."
1899
01:43:11,280 --> 01:43:13,360
Ghosts have honor?
1900
01:43:14,000 --> 01:43:17,440
They say ghosts have a hierarchy,
seniority, whatever.
1901
01:43:17,520 --> 01:43:19,880
Anyhow, he didn't agree.
1902
01:43:19,960 --> 01:43:22,280
"So will you build one?" "I won't."
1903
01:43:23,120 --> 01:43:26,640
Oum Oim said, "If you don't,
that means you're going against him."
1904
01:43:26,720 --> 01:43:29,200
Those were her words:
"You're going against him."
1905
01:43:29,280 --> 01:43:31,680
"Oum Oim, so what?
You can perform a ritual,
1906
01:43:31,760 --> 01:43:34,320
stuff him in a pot,
and drown him in a river."
1907
01:43:35,040 --> 01:43:38,480
Oum Oim replied, "I can see ghosts,
but I can't dispel them."
1908
01:43:38,560 --> 01:43:42,200
Oh. What now? She said,
"I don't know. You're against him now."
1909
01:43:42,280 --> 01:43:45,480
"It's 11:00 p.m.
I have to go host a program."
1910
01:43:51,080 --> 01:43:53,760
So, what now? "I have to go," she said.
1911
01:43:54,880 --> 01:43:58,120
"I have to warn you, though.
You might have trouble sleeping tonight."
1912
01:44:00,040 --> 01:44:02,400
And she left. Gone.
1913
01:44:02,480 --> 01:44:04,600
I was left to fend for myself.
1914
01:44:04,680 --> 01:44:08,320
I was very troubled because
I felt so confused. I called Oum Oim.
1915
01:44:08,400 --> 01:44:12,360
"Don't you have any protective mantras
to ward him off or something?"
1916
01:44:12,440 --> 01:44:14,920
Oum Oim said, "I do."
"Can you send it to me?"
1917
01:44:15,920 --> 01:44:18,320
"You can download one from Google."
1918
01:44:18,960 --> 01:44:23,720
"Which mantra?" "Any works."
Oum Oim left it at that.
1919
01:44:23,800 --> 01:44:26,760
I went back up to my room.
How am I supposed to sleep?
1920
01:44:26,840 --> 01:44:29,040
She said he's pissed off now too.
1921
01:44:29,720 --> 01:44:31,480
I'm a dead man.
1922
01:44:31,560 --> 01:44:35,840
I called someone to keep me company:
Kong Huayrai and Bell Khanittha.
1923
01:44:35,920 --> 01:44:37,360
They live close by.
1924
01:44:37,440 --> 01:44:40,000
When they arrived,
Kong was like, "I'm here."
1925
01:44:40,080 --> 01:44:42,200
"I'll take care of him for you."
1926
01:44:42,280 --> 01:44:46,120
I offered the bed to him. He said,
"I'll sleep on the floor with my wife."
1927
01:44:46,200 --> 01:44:48,520
So I prepared a bed on the floor for them.
1928
01:44:48,600 --> 01:44:51,040
This is the head of the bed.
I'm sleeping here.
1929
01:44:51,120 --> 01:44:55,320
My legs go that way. My head's here.
Kong and his wife are on the floor.
1930
01:44:57,040 --> 01:45:01,280
When I sleep, I need the room pitch black.
That's the only way I can sleep.
1931
01:45:01,360 --> 01:45:04,560
But I could sense a light
in the corner of my eye.
1932
01:45:05,560 --> 01:45:09,480
It was around midnight now.
I opened my eyes to look.
1933
01:45:09,560 --> 01:45:12,360
Kong and his wife were on their phones.
1934
01:45:15,480 --> 01:45:18,960
It was completely dark.
Their phone screens made their chins glow.
1935
01:45:19,880 --> 01:45:22,600
It was like I had two donor bodies
in the room.
1936
01:45:22,680 --> 01:45:24,440
I'm even more scared now.
1937
01:45:24,520 --> 01:45:26,840
"Kong! What are you doing at this hour?"
1938
01:45:26,920 --> 01:45:29,040
"Hold up, I'm not dead yet. Just a sec."
1939
01:45:29,800 --> 01:45:32,800
Then they finally finished their game
and went to sleep.
1940
01:45:33,560 --> 01:45:37,360
At 2:30 a.m.,
I felt something pulling my bed.
1941
01:45:38,480 --> 01:45:40,480
It was like an earthquake. My body jerked.
1942
01:45:40,560 --> 01:45:44,480
It was as if a large hand
of an ancient Thai man was doing this.
1943
01:45:44,560 --> 01:45:45,920
What's happening?
1944
01:45:46,000 --> 01:45:48,280
Then something heavy pressed down
on the mattress.
1945
01:45:49,040 --> 01:45:51,080
The mattress sank. It did.
1946
01:45:51,160 --> 01:45:53,800
I was already primed to shit my pants,
you know?
1947
01:45:54,600 --> 01:45:56,160
I was expecting it.
1948
01:45:56,240 --> 01:46:00,040
So when it happened, I yelled,
"Kong, help me!"
1949
01:46:01,920 --> 01:46:06,160
Kong answered me right away.
He was by my bed. "I'm here."
1950
01:46:06,240 --> 01:46:09,120
"Kong, a ghost is pulling my bed!"
1951
01:46:09,960 --> 01:46:11,760
"Actually, I kicked your bed."
1952
01:46:13,720 --> 01:46:15,480
"Why would you do that?"
1953
01:46:15,560 --> 01:46:17,600
"I got up to go to the bathroom
and got confused."
1954
01:46:17,680 --> 01:46:20,480
He thought it was his room,
and the bed was on this side.
1955
01:46:20,560 --> 01:46:23,440
"No, something leaned over
like it was about to strangle me."
1956
01:46:23,520 --> 01:46:25,040
"It pressed down on the bed."
1957
01:46:25,120 --> 01:46:28,240
He said, "After hitting my leg,
I fell face-first onto the bed."
1958
01:46:37,840 --> 01:46:40,000
Oum Oim couldn't help me with the ghost.
1959
01:46:40,080 --> 01:46:43,480
So I contacted another person,
Bee, the Ghost Ambassador.
1960
01:46:44,560 --> 01:46:46,120
Bee came over.
1961
01:46:46,200 --> 01:46:49,160
Bee seems like a ghost-buster
who is very educated.
1962
01:46:49,240 --> 01:46:51,840
He came in. Same thing.
The elevator opened.
1963
01:46:53,200 --> 01:46:55,320
He said, "Let me have a look."
1964
01:46:55,880 --> 01:46:59,680
"Nothing here. Not over here.
May I go into your bedroom?"
1965
01:47:07,000 --> 01:47:08,600
"He's standing over there."
1966
01:47:10,720 --> 01:47:13,480
Same place. "He's over there."
1967
01:47:13,560 --> 01:47:16,120
"What's he like? What does he look like?"
1968
01:47:16,200 --> 01:47:18,560
"Well, he's not a ghost."
1969
01:47:18,640 --> 01:47:20,720
"He's a demon."
1970
01:47:22,400 --> 01:47:24,760
A ghost is bad enough.
1971
01:47:24,840 --> 01:47:27,480
What the hell is a demon?
1972
01:47:27,560 --> 01:47:29,360
"They're…"
1973
01:47:29,440 --> 01:47:31,160
"They're much scarier."
1974
01:47:31,240 --> 01:47:33,040
"And also…"
1975
01:47:33,120 --> 01:47:34,200
"What is he like?"
1976
01:47:34,280 --> 01:47:37,440
"A bit like Gollum, like you described,
but more gruesome."
1977
01:47:37,520 --> 01:47:39,480
"And it's bigger."
1978
01:47:39,560 --> 01:47:41,240
"So what now?"
1979
01:47:41,320 --> 01:47:43,360
"He doesn't want merit either."
1980
01:47:43,440 --> 01:47:44,880
"How did he get here?"
1981
01:47:45,400 --> 01:47:48,680
"I think someone cursed you."
1982
01:47:48,760 --> 01:47:50,320
That escalated.
1983
01:47:51,640 --> 01:47:55,320
"A curse? So what should I do?"
1984
01:47:56,600 --> 01:47:59,560
"Give me a minute. Let me meditate.
Go wait outside."
1985
01:47:59,640 --> 01:48:01,240
Bee then meditated like this.
1986
01:48:01,880 --> 01:48:03,360
Later, he called me back in.
1987
01:48:03,440 --> 01:48:05,960
"There's a cursed item in your room."
1988
01:48:06,040 --> 01:48:08,240
"I saw a red inscription."
1989
01:48:08,920 --> 01:48:13,600
Oh, dear. My room has a bed,
a bedside table, and a flat-screen TV.
1990
01:48:13,680 --> 01:48:16,400
No other decor. Very minimal.
1991
01:48:16,480 --> 01:48:19,440
I asked, "Where is it?"
"Let's try turning over the bed," he said.
1992
01:48:19,520 --> 01:48:22,600
We turned over the bed
and found a red Khmer inscription.
1993
01:48:22,680 --> 01:48:25,960
There was a Khmer inscription.
I was like, "Really?"
1994
01:48:26,040 --> 01:48:29,080
Bee said, "Hold up. I see another one."
1995
01:48:29,160 --> 01:48:31,880
We turned the bed over again.
It was under the bed.
1996
01:48:31,960 --> 01:48:34,400
Two under the bed. I was shocked.
1997
01:48:34,480 --> 01:48:36,200
Damn. Could this be true?
1998
01:48:36,280 --> 01:48:38,200
Bee said, "Not so fast.
I see another one."
1999
01:48:38,800 --> 01:48:41,480
What? There's nothing left in my room.
2000
01:48:41,560 --> 01:48:44,080
Under the bedside table,
there was another one there.
2001
01:48:44,160 --> 01:48:46,520
Same handwriting. Also in red.
2002
01:48:46,600 --> 01:48:49,400
I went, "What is this?"
2003
01:48:49,480 --> 01:48:51,040
I didn't believe it.
2004
01:48:51,120 --> 01:48:54,280
I thought to myself
that a carpenter could have done it.
2005
01:48:54,360 --> 01:48:56,920
A Cambodian carpenter who perhaps
2006
01:48:57,000 --> 01:48:58,960
likes to do graffiti.
2007
01:49:00,280 --> 01:49:02,440
He may like to leave etchings around.
2008
01:49:02,520 --> 01:49:04,960
But the bed and the bedside table
2009
01:49:05,040 --> 01:49:07,520
were bought separately.
2010
01:49:07,600 --> 01:49:09,520
How did the same inscription get on both?
2011
01:49:09,600 --> 01:49:13,240
Bee said, "Someone cursed you.
They made this
2012
01:49:14,320 --> 01:49:16,280
and summoned the demon as well."
2013
01:49:16,360 --> 01:49:18,680
"The demon was instructed to haunt you."
2014
01:49:19,400 --> 01:49:22,800
What the hell? So what do I do?
2015
01:49:22,880 --> 01:49:25,680
"I can only see things.
I can't fix any problems."
2016
01:49:28,120 --> 01:49:31,640
If it were you, if someone told you
you were cursed, what would you do?
2017
01:49:31,720 --> 01:49:35,280
It's not like I can drive around and find
"Khmer curse-lifting services."
2018
01:49:36,040 --> 01:49:37,680
I don't know what to do.
2019
01:49:37,760 --> 01:49:39,840
I'm still living with him.
2020
01:49:39,920 --> 01:49:42,800
Bee went back to manage his coffee shop.
2021
01:49:42,880 --> 01:49:44,960
I was left to deal with it.
2022
01:49:45,040 --> 01:49:47,080
Shit. What am I going to do now?
2023
01:49:47,160 --> 01:49:49,560
I'm living with a demon.
2024
01:49:50,280 --> 01:49:52,520
I'm still living with him today.
2025
01:49:53,240 --> 01:49:55,800
I won't tolerate this, but I have to,
2026
01:49:55,880 --> 01:49:58,080
because I don't know what to do.
2027
01:49:58,160 --> 01:50:00,320
I asked Bee before he got in the car,
2028
01:50:00,400 --> 01:50:03,760
"Don't you have any remedies
that could help fix this?"
2029
01:50:03,840 --> 01:50:05,320
Bee said, "Try to remember."
2030
01:50:05,400 --> 01:50:08,920
"I see a date, the 7th,
seven years ago in September."
2031
01:50:09,760 --> 01:50:11,880
"That person put a curse on you."
2032
01:50:13,600 --> 01:50:14,720
Seven years ago?
2033
01:50:15,400 --> 01:50:19,080
Seven hours ago is already too long
for me to recall anything.
2034
01:50:19,960 --> 01:50:21,960
Anyway, I'm still living with him.
2035
01:50:22,040 --> 01:50:23,560
How am I doing that?
2036
01:50:23,640 --> 01:50:26,600
I'd say it's because of
my ordination experience.
2037
01:50:26,680 --> 01:50:30,800
After I'd been ordained,
I'd say that our mind is like a muscle.
2038
01:50:30,880 --> 01:50:33,840
With some practice, it gets stronger.
2039
01:50:33,920 --> 01:50:37,040
After being ordained, let's just say,
2040
01:50:37,120 --> 01:50:39,760
I've seen much worse.
2041
01:50:39,840 --> 01:50:42,200
The temple I was ordained at
is in the Phan district.
2042
01:50:42,280 --> 01:50:46,400
It's on a small hill
in the middle of the forest.
2043
01:50:46,480 --> 01:50:47,520
And…
2044
01:50:48,360 --> 01:50:49,680
I was isolated.
2045
01:50:49,760 --> 01:50:53,000
My quarters were about 500 meters away
from the other monks'.
2046
01:50:53,080 --> 01:50:54,840
I wanted to live humbly,
2047
01:50:54,920 --> 01:50:58,400
with not much electricity and alone,
to see if I could do it.
2048
01:50:59,760 --> 01:51:01,720
In the beginning, it was tough.
2049
01:51:01,800 --> 01:51:03,720
There were six dogs at the temple.
2050
01:51:04,480 --> 01:51:06,600
They kept howling next to the quarters.
2051
01:51:06,680 --> 01:51:08,400
They would howl
2052
01:51:08,480 --> 01:51:10,800
around 7:30 or 8:00 in the evening.
2053
01:51:10,880 --> 01:51:12,440
That's when they'd start.
2054
01:51:19,320 --> 01:51:20,960
It was like a horror movie.
2055
01:51:22,320 --> 01:51:24,120
It was out of a horror movie.
2056
01:51:24,200 --> 01:51:25,800
It wasn't just one dog either.
2057
01:51:31,880 --> 01:51:33,560
It was a chorus.
2058
01:51:33,640 --> 01:51:35,360
A grand orchestra.
2059
01:51:35,440 --> 01:51:36,520
I was terrified.
2060
01:51:36,600 --> 01:51:38,880
It wasn't mating season or anything.
2061
01:51:38,960 --> 01:51:40,480
The howling scared me.
2062
01:51:40,560 --> 01:51:42,960
During the first few nights
of living alone,
2063
01:51:43,040 --> 01:51:45,880
I went to ask a senior monk
why they howled.
2064
01:51:46,640 --> 01:51:50,640
The monk was really reassuring.
He said they probably saw ghosts.
2065
01:51:52,480 --> 01:51:55,160
A tall demon might be asking for merit.
2066
01:51:55,240 --> 01:51:57,440
I decided to ask another monk. He said,
2067
01:51:57,520 --> 01:52:01,440
"Yes, because right there,
in the village below,
2068
01:52:01,520 --> 01:52:03,760
someone hung themselves."
2069
01:52:03,840 --> 01:52:06,320
"The tall demon could be them,
asking for merit
2070
01:52:06,400 --> 01:52:09,120
from a newly ordained monk."
2071
01:52:09,200 --> 01:52:11,400
"It's quite possible."
2072
01:52:11,480 --> 01:52:12,760
So I considered it.
2073
01:52:12,840 --> 01:52:16,560
It might well be a tall demon.
Because if it were a normal ghost,
2074
01:52:16,640 --> 01:52:18,720
it wouldn't have such a high voice.
2075
01:52:18,800 --> 01:52:21,000
Tall demons are tall, right?
2076
01:52:21,080 --> 01:52:23,000
The dogs were probably like,
2077
01:52:23,080 --> 01:52:25,480
"Do you see it?"
2078
01:52:26,480 --> 01:52:28,880
"I see it too."
2079
01:52:29,720 --> 01:52:34,720
"As tall as an eight-story building."
2080
01:52:37,160 --> 01:52:41,040
Days and months passed.
2081
01:52:41,120 --> 01:52:44,920
My mind became stronger.
So I was like, let's just talk this out.
2082
01:52:45,000 --> 01:52:48,560
Let's talk it out, because after
the morning observance, I had to meditate.
2083
01:52:48,640 --> 01:52:50,400
The noise was really bothering me.
2084
01:52:50,480 --> 01:52:52,640
It felt very close by.
2085
01:52:52,720 --> 01:52:55,760
So I meditated and made a deal
with the demon in my mind.
2086
01:52:55,840 --> 01:52:57,840
"All right. Tall Demon."
2087
01:52:58,680 --> 01:53:01,160
"We don't know each other, Tall Demon."
2088
01:53:01,240 --> 01:53:03,080
"I'm honored by your presence."
2089
01:53:03,160 --> 01:53:05,040
"You want merit, right?"
2090
01:53:05,120 --> 01:53:08,760
"I will dedicate my merit to you
so you can be at peace."
2091
01:53:08,840 --> 01:53:11,720
"Once you receive the merit,
please calm down."
2092
01:53:12,960 --> 01:53:15,960
Would you believe,
all this was in my mind,
2093
01:53:16,040 --> 01:53:19,920
once I finished thinking that thought
to please quiet down,
2094
01:53:20,000 --> 01:53:21,560
the dogs that were howling…
2095
01:53:23,440 --> 01:53:25,840
They stopped midway
as if someone pulled a plug.
2096
01:53:26,960 --> 01:53:30,520
That just confirmed that,
"Damn, you really are a demon!"
2097
01:53:36,680 --> 01:53:38,880
After that, the demon was spoiled.
2098
01:53:38,960 --> 01:53:40,840
Every night at 7:30 or 8:00,
2099
01:53:40,920 --> 01:53:42,520
next to my quarters,
2100
01:53:42,600 --> 01:53:45,280
I had to keep giving it merit.
2101
01:53:45,360 --> 01:53:49,680
When we do things over and over again,
our mind starts to get used to it.
2102
01:53:49,760 --> 01:53:53,040
In this sense,
the demon in my home isn't that bad.
2103
01:53:53,120 --> 01:53:54,720
I've seen much worse.
2104
01:53:56,840 --> 01:53:59,120
After I disrobed and got back home,
2105
01:53:59,200 --> 01:54:01,760
I had a chat with my demon.
2106
01:54:01,840 --> 01:54:03,720
Or that ancient Thai man. Whatever.
2107
01:54:03,800 --> 01:54:07,080
I closed the door, turned off the lights,
and meditated.
2108
01:54:07,160 --> 01:54:08,720
I opened the conversation.
2109
01:54:08,800 --> 01:54:12,080
I was guessing
he was probably around there.
2110
01:54:13,320 --> 01:54:15,360
"Someone might've sent you here."
2111
01:54:15,440 --> 01:54:17,680
"So do whatever it is
that you were sent to do."
2112
01:54:17,760 --> 01:54:19,560
"Maybe strangle me."
2113
01:54:19,640 --> 01:54:22,280
"Maybe appear before me. Just do it."
2114
01:54:22,360 --> 01:54:24,160
"I'll be waiting right here."
2115
01:54:24,240 --> 01:54:27,840
I continued to meditate,
waiting for him to come.
2116
01:54:27,920 --> 01:54:29,720
I waited for him to strangle me.
2117
01:54:30,360 --> 01:54:33,800
True story. I was like, whatever.
2118
01:54:33,880 --> 01:54:37,600
If I get strangled by a ghost,
I'm fine with dying.
2119
01:54:37,680 --> 01:54:39,640
I've done a lot with my life.
2120
01:54:39,720 --> 01:54:42,440
I'm just doing the same things now.
I'm okay with dying.
2121
01:54:42,520 --> 01:54:45,800
Plus, getting strangled to death
by a ghost is pretty darn classic.
2122
01:54:45,880 --> 01:54:47,960
It's never happened before.
2123
01:54:48,040 --> 01:54:51,560
An hour passed. He didn't come.
2124
01:54:51,640 --> 01:54:54,520
Two hours passed. He didn't come.
2125
01:54:54,600 --> 01:54:57,280
More than two hours passed,
and he still didn't come.
2126
01:54:57,360 --> 01:54:58,960
I ended my meditation.
2127
01:54:59,040 --> 01:55:01,320
So I realized, huh.
2128
01:55:01,400 --> 01:55:04,720
All you can do is make those noises.
2129
01:55:04,800 --> 01:55:07,040
You can't kill me.
2130
01:55:07,120 --> 01:55:09,440
In that case, we're compatible.
2131
01:55:10,480 --> 01:55:12,080
It's not too bad.
2132
01:55:12,160 --> 01:55:14,200
Knock away. I'll live my life.
2133
01:55:14,280 --> 01:55:17,680
You can watch me sleep.
2134
01:55:18,520 --> 01:55:20,160
It's not all bad.
2135
01:55:20,240 --> 01:55:23,240
There's a lamp at the head of my bed.
A curved one.
2136
01:55:23,320 --> 01:55:25,240
Having another one can't hurt.
2137
01:55:29,120 --> 01:55:31,760
Nowadays, we're still living together.
2138
01:55:31,840 --> 01:55:34,680
I can live with him, no problem.
No problem at all.
2139
01:55:34,760 --> 01:55:36,800
I even belittle him in my head.
2140
01:55:36,880 --> 01:55:39,400
Is that all you can do?
2141
01:55:40,200 --> 01:55:42,200
Because if I were a ghost,
2142
01:55:42,280 --> 01:55:45,160
I wouldn't just stop at making noises
2143
01:55:45,240 --> 01:55:47,040
for those I wanted to haunt.
2144
01:55:47,120 --> 01:55:50,920
At my funeral, whoever opens my coffin
without my consent,
2145
01:55:52,640 --> 01:55:53,840
I'm going to haunt you.
2146
01:55:56,320 --> 01:55:58,440
The thing with ghosts is they have powers.
2147
01:55:58,520 --> 01:56:01,000
Let's lay down the basics of ghosts.
2148
01:56:01,080 --> 01:56:03,760
For nonbelievers,
take this as a fun story.
2149
01:56:03,840 --> 01:56:07,400
Ghosts have powers to a different degree.
2150
01:56:07,480 --> 01:56:09,760
It's like us having
unequal amounts of money.
2151
01:56:09,840 --> 01:56:12,640
We have different levels
of purchasing power.
2152
01:56:12,720 --> 01:56:16,640
The village chief, for example,
only has power within his village.
2153
01:56:16,720 --> 01:56:18,960
Governors might have more power.
2154
01:56:19,040 --> 01:56:23,000
As for prime ministers,
they have lots of power.
2155
01:56:23,080 --> 01:56:25,040
They have power to rule the whole country.
2156
01:56:25,120 --> 01:56:29,320
But if they abused their power,
the country would be how it is today.
2157
01:56:35,520 --> 01:56:37,440
Ghosts have many powers.
2158
01:56:38,360 --> 01:56:40,840
They can influence or possess you.
2159
01:56:40,920 --> 01:56:44,520
They can blind you, close your ears.
We've heard these stories before.
2160
01:56:44,600 --> 01:56:47,600
When we go to a faraway hotel,
the tap turns on by itself.
2161
01:56:47,680 --> 01:56:50,680
Ghosts can do that. The water
starts running. The lights go off.
2162
01:56:50,760 --> 01:56:54,280
The TV turns on by itself.
Lights go off in the whole building.
2163
01:56:54,360 --> 01:56:57,360
Their powers and pranks vary.
2164
01:56:57,440 --> 01:56:59,800
They might appear near you.
They might show their legs.
2165
01:56:59,880 --> 01:57:03,000
Some might show their insides.
They may paralyze you in dreams.
2166
01:57:03,840 --> 01:57:05,080
Ghosts have powers.
2167
01:57:05,160 --> 01:57:07,040
So when I die,
2168
01:57:07,120 --> 01:57:09,960
I think my powers will be
quite extraordinary.
2169
01:57:11,240 --> 01:57:14,760
When you flush the toilet,
I'll make the water flood up.
2170
01:57:17,360 --> 01:57:19,720
The more you flush, the more it floods.
2171
01:57:19,800 --> 01:57:23,560
When you try to leave that stall,
you'll pass the next person coming in.
2172
01:57:23,640 --> 01:57:25,960
You'll look real bad.
You'll be that person.
2173
01:57:27,640 --> 01:57:30,960
I'll be haunting you
in these little painful ways.
2174
01:57:31,040 --> 01:57:33,280
The bidet that was working fine?
2175
01:57:33,360 --> 01:57:36,360
I'll squeeze it so that
the water drips out so slowly
2176
01:57:36,440 --> 01:57:39,360
that you'll have to cup the water
with your hands.
2177
01:57:41,520 --> 01:57:44,280
Or I'll increase
the water pressure so high
2178
01:57:44,360 --> 01:57:46,320
that it slices your hemorrhoids in half.
2179
01:57:49,320 --> 01:57:51,640
There are dozens of stalls in the malls.
2180
01:57:52,400 --> 01:57:55,320
I'll be that person
who puts down all the toilet lids.
2181
01:57:58,320 --> 01:58:00,160
Usually in Japan,
2182
01:58:00,240 --> 01:58:02,720
if you enter a stall
with a closed toilet lid,
2183
01:58:02,800 --> 01:58:05,320
that means it's just been cleaned.
2184
01:58:05,400 --> 01:58:09,120
You'll always be the first to use it.
The Japanese have a lot of trust.
2185
01:58:09,200 --> 01:58:11,040
But in our country,
2186
01:58:11,120 --> 01:58:13,480
if you see a closed toilet lid,
2187
01:58:14,640 --> 01:58:17,640
it's sending you a message.
2188
01:58:22,840 --> 01:58:24,880
I'm going to close all of them.
2189
01:58:24,960 --> 01:58:29,320
Why? So that you can feel
the thrill of gold-digging.
2190
01:58:31,400 --> 01:58:32,560
Will you find
2191
01:58:33,400 --> 01:58:34,440
lumps of gold,
2192
01:58:35,120 --> 01:58:36,240
bars of gold,
2193
01:58:36,840 --> 01:58:38,440
or gold ornaments?
2194
01:58:45,440 --> 01:58:47,400
If you need an ATK test,
2195
01:58:47,480 --> 01:58:50,600
I'm going to haunt the hospital
or possess your nurse
2196
01:58:50,680 --> 01:58:52,720
to use the wrong end of the swab.
2197
01:59:00,240 --> 01:59:05,720
I've been to a drive-through
COVID test site where you stay in the car.
2198
01:59:05,800 --> 01:59:08,440
This was the early phase of the pandemic.
2199
01:59:08,520 --> 01:59:10,680
They had you sit in the car.
2200
01:59:10,760 --> 01:59:14,680
Then a nurse covered from head to toe
would swab you.
2201
01:59:15,440 --> 01:59:17,720
You know these swabbers? I think,
2202
01:59:18,640 --> 01:59:22,760
before they became nurses,
they used to be fencing athletes.
2203
01:59:23,920 --> 01:59:26,200
Did they even go through training?
2204
01:59:28,560 --> 01:59:33,160
They'd stick that thing in, I'd pull away.
Anyone would pull away. I did.
2205
01:59:33,240 --> 01:59:35,880
They'd say, "Don't pull away. Don't."
2206
01:59:37,040 --> 01:59:39,920
How could I not? You literally lunged in.
2207
01:59:40,000 --> 01:59:43,640
And they'd follow you too.
They'd follow you and swab you.
2208
01:59:43,720 --> 01:59:46,800
I wanted to push them away with my foot.
2209
01:59:48,720 --> 01:59:51,200
You're an inch away from my brain.
2210
01:59:53,640 --> 01:59:57,120
The thing is, it's not that difficult.
2211
01:59:57,200 --> 01:59:59,840
The swab,
if you did it yourself, you'd know.
2212
01:59:59,920 --> 02:00:03,120
You'd know how far to go in.
It just goes in like this.
2213
02:00:03,200 --> 02:00:07,480
There are two parts: the first part,
and then you tilt your head back.
2214
02:00:07,560 --> 02:00:10,440
It will pass through that mysterious area.
2215
02:00:10,520 --> 02:00:14,240
Once there,
you're very close to the nasopharynx.
2216
02:00:14,320 --> 02:00:16,680
When the swab touches it, you'll know.
2217
02:00:16,760 --> 02:00:19,040
You can slowly rotate the swab.
2218
02:00:21,720 --> 02:00:24,440
This is when the tears will come.
2219
02:00:24,520 --> 02:00:27,520
It's pure bliss. Really.
2220
02:00:31,320 --> 02:00:34,720
I'm an old man who's not sexually active.
2221
02:00:34,800 --> 02:00:36,280
This is how I get pleasure.
2222
02:00:39,840 --> 02:00:42,440
I want to swab my nose
three or four times a day.
2223
02:00:47,080 --> 02:00:51,040
If you're crazy about designer bags,
I'm going to possess your child,
2224
02:00:51,120 --> 02:00:52,680
your nieces and nephews.
2225
02:00:52,760 --> 02:00:56,040
Those limited-edition bags
made from alligator leather and all that?
2226
02:00:56,120 --> 02:00:58,640
I'll make your child drag a pen
all over your bags.
2227
02:01:00,960 --> 02:01:05,320
When you see it, you'll be like,
"No, no, no, no, no."
2228
02:01:05,400 --> 02:01:07,160
The pen marks are very thin.
2229
02:01:07,240 --> 02:01:09,960
Especially those Horse brand pens.
You'll just die.
2230
02:01:10,680 --> 02:01:15,600
You ladies, you see a scratch this small,
you lose sleep.
2231
02:01:15,680 --> 02:01:18,960
Even though no one else sees it.
You're the only one.
2232
02:01:19,040 --> 02:01:21,440
When you go out, you hide that side away.
2233
02:01:21,520 --> 02:01:25,200
When you put it on the shelf, you still
think about having it repaired in Paris.
2234
02:01:25,280 --> 02:01:27,320
It's like a thorn in your heart.
2235
02:01:27,400 --> 02:01:29,160
This kind of haunting hurts.
2236
02:01:30,760 --> 02:01:32,560
When you go to the mall,
2237
02:01:32,640 --> 02:01:34,880
when parking is sparse
and you're backing in,
2238
02:01:34,960 --> 02:01:37,880
I'm going to make you feel
you have to answer a phone call.
2239
02:01:40,080 --> 02:01:41,840
You park. You get out.
2240
02:01:42,880 --> 02:01:45,400
After shopping, you head back.
2241
02:01:45,480 --> 02:01:47,280
"Where the hell did I park?"
2242
02:01:55,400 --> 02:01:58,320
And when you're leaving the lot,
you forget the card.
2243
02:01:58,400 --> 02:02:01,240
You can't find the card. You get home.
It's in your wallet.
2244
02:02:01,840 --> 02:02:02,960
That's how it'll go.
2245
02:02:05,840 --> 02:02:07,480
If your husband gets a bonus,
2246
02:02:08,160 --> 02:02:11,640
you think he'll take you on a trip
somewhere out of town,
2247
02:02:11,720 --> 02:02:14,200
maybe to the Maldives or something.
2248
02:02:14,280 --> 02:02:18,080
I'll influence his thoughts
to use that money to buy a big bike.
2249
02:02:20,880 --> 02:02:23,560
What you'll be getting is a stupid helmet
2250
02:02:23,640 --> 02:02:26,240
and a leather outfit you'll never wear.
2251
02:02:26,320 --> 02:02:29,600
Your hubby will feel super cool
with his big bike,
2252
02:02:29,680 --> 02:02:31,240
feeling like Andy Lau.
2253
02:02:32,600 --> 02:02:35,040
And you'll just be hanging on
for dear life.
2254
02:02:43,040 --> 02:02:46,120
Your hubby is the one feeling cool.
But you'll have to make do.
2255
02:02:46,200 --> 02:02:49,080
If you don't tag along,
he won't know where to go.
2256
02:02:49,160 --> 02:02:53,800
It's hot and sweaty. You go with him.
Then he'll want to go on long trips.
2257
02:02:53,880 --> 02:02:56,160
Bangkok to Chiang Rai, maybe?
2258
02:02:56,240 --> 02:02:59,520
Meanwhile, you just hang on,
helmets clashing with every brake.
2259
02:03:05,720 --> 02:03:09,720
If you have insomnia or are
a light sleeper, I won't come like this.
2260
02:03:11,880 --> 02:03:14,320
I'll be a mosquito. Just one.
2261
02:03:15,600 --> 02:03:17,720
Once the lights are off, I'll come out.
2262
02:03:24,160 --> 02:03:26,960
I'll make you turn on the lights
and look for me.
2263
02:03:27,040 --> 02:03:28,320
Good luck with that.
2264
02:03:28,400 --> 02:03:30,880
You think you have me.
But when you look, I'm not there.
2265
02:03:30,960 --> 02:03:32,280
I'll be that mosquito.
2266
02:03:38,520 --> 02:03:40,880
If you're afraid of geckos, then I will
2267
02:03:40,960 --> 02:03:42,880
possess a gecko
2268
02:03:42,960 --> 02:03:45,120
and latch on to your car window.
2269
02:03:45,200 --> 02:03:48,280
When you get on a tollway,
you'll see me right here.
2270
02:03:48,360 --> 02:03:50,480
You'll see my red-and-green belly.
2271
02:03:52,800 --> 02:03:54,920
Right on the tollway. No escape.
2272
02:03:55,000 --> 02:03:57,640
You try to spray
the windshield washer fluid.
2273
02:03:57,720 --> 02:03:59,360
Take that. Still there?
2274
02:03:59,440 --> 02:04:01,320
Take this, windshield wiper!
2275
02:04:02,920 --> 02:04:05,600
Fall to your death, gecko.
What? Still there?
2276
02:04:05,680 --> 02:04:07,560
It's now on the driver's side window.
2277
02:04:08,400 --> 02:04:10,240
It's even closer than before.
2278
02:04:10,320 --> 02:04:12,520
Right here. You roll the window down,
2279
02:04:12,600 --> 02:04:15,680
hoping to knock the gecko off
to its death on the tollway.
2280
02:04:17,560 --> 02:04:19,640
You hit it. Then it comes inside.
2281
02:04:26,560 --> 02:04:28,520
When you wash your socks,
2282
02:04:29,600 --> 02:04:31,280
you'll always lose one.
2283
02:04:32,440 --> 02:04:34,480
Especially in the washer.
2284
02:04:35,240 --> 02:04:38,200
Especially the ones
with cartoon prints that you love.
2285
02:04:38,280 --> 02:04:41,600
You do your laundry, and one sock
disappears as you unload the washer.
2286
02:04:41,680 --> 02:04:43,360
Then another, and another.
2287
02:04:43,440 --> 02:04:46,040
Now none of your socks match.
2288
02:04:46,120 --> 02:04:48,640
And you'll look crazy
wearing mismatched socks.
2289
02:04:48,720 --> 02:04:51,600
So you keep a pile of the remaining ones.
2290
02:04:51,680 --> 02:04:55,160
Six months later,
you still haven't found their pairs.
2291
02:04:55,880 --> 02:04:58,560
You give up hope and throw them away.
2292
02:04:58,640 --> 02:05:01,720
That's my cue. I'll slowly return
the missing socks one by one.
2293
02:05:09,040 --> 02:05:12,840
When you shop at the supermarket
around the end of the month,
2294
02:05:13,640 --> 02:05:15,560
at Big C or Tesco Lotus,
2295
02:05:16,200 --> 02:05:18,320
I will cause you trouble.
2296
02:05:18,400 --> 02:05:21,760
You'll run into this auntie
in front of you in the checkout line.
2297
02:05:23,720 --> 02:05:25,800
The cashier's like, "Miss?"
2298
02:05:25,880 --> 02:05:28,520
"This mango hasn't been weighed.
It doesn't have a barcode."
2299
02:05:30,000 --> 02:05:33,000
Oh, boy. Time to wait forever.
The lady doesn't want to go weigh it.
2300
02:05:33,080 --> 02:05:35,440
The cashier's busy.
There's no staff around.
2301
02:05:35,520 --> 02:05:38,720
You'll be stuck there until you go,
"Damn it."
2302
02:05:39,880 --> 02:05:43,480
You switch to another line.
You wait and wait until it's your turn.
2303
02:05:43,560 --> 02:05:45,040
Finally.
2304
02:05:45,120 --> 02:05:46,400
"Dear customer,
2305
02:05:46,480 --> 02:05:49,880
we currently have a promotion
for the detergent you're buying."
2306
02:05:49,960 --> 02:05:51,520
"It's buy one, get one free."
2307
02:05:51,600 --> 02:05:55,080
Then what? "If you want it,
you'll have to go grab another."
2308
02:05:55,160 --> 02:05:57,160
You're in a hurry.
2309
02:05:57,240 --> 02:05:59,000
And you're greedy.
2310
02:05:59,080 --> 02:06:01,240
Greed wins. You leave the line.
2311
02:06:03,000 --> 02:06:04,400
When you return,
2312
02:06:05,200 --> 02:06:06,720
all the lines are super long.
2313
02:06:06,800 --> 02:06:10,520
You see an auntie in the shortest line.
You line up behind her.
2314
02:06:10,600 --> 02:06:14,080
But her cart is piled with goods.
2315
02:06:14,160 --> 02:06:17,560
And the auntie is paying
using something called
2316
02:06:17,640 --> 02:06:18,960
"end-receipt coupons."
2317
02:06:20,160 --> 02:06:22,280
The ladies know what I'm talking about.
2318
02:06:22,360 --> 02:06:25,200
Spend 800 baht and get 40 baht off.
2319
02:06:25,280 --> 02:06:27,640
Oh, boy. Be prepared.
2320
02:06:27,720 --> 02:06:31,080
The cashier will now start typing
and retyping stuff
2321
02:06:31,800 --> 02:06:34,680
because they have to group the goods
into 800-baht sets.
2322
02:06:34,760 --> 02:06:37,640
"650 baht… 680…"
2323
02:06:37,720 --> 02:06:39,840
"Hand me that cabbage."
2324
02:06:39,920 --> 02:06:43,160
"Oh, the cabbage makes it 900.
Take it out. Take this instead."
2325
02:06:43,240 --> 02:06:46,800
"Swap out the tea. The tea can wait."
2326
02:06:46,880 --> 02:06:49,080
"Now, hand me the laundry detergent."
2327
02:06:49,160 --> 02:06:51,880
Key in. Delete. Key in. Delete.
2328
02:06:52,640 --> 02:06:55,040
Oh, God. I want to get out of here.
Oh, God.
2329
02:06:55,800 --> 02:06:57,480
The first 800 is done.
2330
02:06:57,560 --> 02:07:00,000
Many more 800s await.
2331
02:07:02,360 --> 02:07:05,800
Then she gets more end-receipt coupons.
The discount cycle continues.
2332
02:07:05,880 --> 02:07:08,560
Receipt after receipt. It keeps going.
2333
02:07:08,640 --> 02:07:11,160
Finally, it's the last set.
They're almost done.
2334
02:07:11,240 --> 02:07:14,320
"The total is 650 baht."
2335
02:07:14,400 --> 02:07:16,800
"You'll need to grab more things
to make it 800."
2336
02:07:16,880 --> 02:07:18,560
Oh, boy. The wait continues.
2337
02:07:19,200 --> 02:07:21,000
You wait until it's your turn.
2338
02:07:21,080 --> 02:07:24,200
You're finally getting your ass
out of here. You step up.
2339
02:07:24,280 --> 02:07:27,280
The cashier places down
that triangular wood.
2340
02:07:27,360 --> 02:07:30,400
"Sorry, my shift is over.
Please use the next lane."
2341
02:07:38,000 --> 02:07:40,600
What I don't want to do, I avoid.
2342
02:07:40,680 --> 02:07:44,560
But what I've never done,
I always find a way to try it.
2343
02:07:44,640 --> 02:07:46,480
Personally, you see,
2344
02:07:46,560 --> 02:07:50,760
I don't want to spend the rest of my life
traveling around the world
2345
02:07:50,840 --> 02:07:52,640
or bungee-jumping from a helicopter.
2346
02:07:52,720 --> 02:07:56,120
That's not my thing.
I'm more into mysterious things.
2347
02:07:56,920 --> 02:08:01,440
I'm interested in mysterious things
that make you wonder whether it's true.
2348
02:08:02,560 --> 02:08:03,920
Like nagas.
2349
02:08:04,480 --> 02:08:06,360
Are nagas real?
2350
02:08:07,240 --> 02:08:09,400
I went to make merit in Chiang Rai.
2351
02:08:09,480 --> 02:08:12,120
I went with Kong Huayrai and his wife,
2352
02:08:12,200 --> 02:08:15,920
Palmy and her partner, Jae Nam as well,
to sponsor a Principal Buddha image.
2353
02:08:16,000 --> 02:08:20,160
While we were there, an abbot
from a monastery in the Nan province
2354
02:08:20,240 --> 02:08:22,640
solicited a donation,
and I made a contribution.
2355
02:08:22,720 --> 02:08:26,360
He said, "Thank you for helping
to build a residence for our monks."
2356
02:08:26,440 --> 02:08:30,480
"I would like to invite you
to the monastery."
2357
02:08:30,560 --> 02:08:32,480
"Lord Naga has a gift for you."
2358
02:08:34,000 --> 02:08:36,280
"Lord Naga? A gift from Lord Naga?"
2359
02:08:36,360 --> 02:08:39,480
"Yes. I'll ask for it
from Lord Naga himself."
2360
02:08:39,560 --> 02:08:41,080
I'm like, huh.
2361
02:08:41,160 --> 02:08:42,520
I asked Palmy.
2362
02:08:43,480 --> 02:08:46,840
"Palmy, should we go get a gift
from Lord Naga?"
2363
02:08:49,280 --> 02:08:51,280
She's like, "Is he real?"
2364
02:08:53,120 --> 02:08:56,000
"If so, it might be worth a try."
2365
02:08:57,040 --> 02:08:59,120
"Shall we?" So we went.
2366
02:08:59,200 --> 02:09:02,200
We crammed into a van
from Chiang Rai to Nan.
2367
02:09:02,280 --> 02:09:03,800
It took over four hours.
2368
02:09:05,480 --> 02:09:08,320
Once in Nan,
the monastery was in the woods.
2369
02:09:08,400 --> 02:09:12,320
It was around 6:00 in the evening.
It was dusk.
2370
02:09:12,920 --> 02:09:16,400
The monastery was surrounded by a forest
and under construction.
2371
02:09:16,480 --> 02:09:18,720
It was just recently built.
2372
02:09:18,800 --> 02:09:22,160
The building was part concrete, part wood.
2373
02:09:22,240 --> 02:09:25,880
It was about this big.
About the length of this stage.
2374
02:09:25,960 --> 02:09:29,240
The area next to the monks' quarters
2375
02:09:29,320 --> 02:09:33,240
was under construction to be the pavilion
that we made the donation for.
2376
02:09:33,320 --> 02:09:37,000
Ten meters away was a lotus pond
with no lotuses left.
2377
02:09:37,080 --> 02:09:41,200
It was an old lotus pond
about the size of a basketball court.
2378
02:09:41,280 --> 02:09:43,640
In front of the monks' quarters
was a table.
2379
02:09:43,720 --> 02:09:47,120
There was a rice offering wrapped
with banana leaves in the shape of a naga.
2380
02:09:48,120 --> 02:09:52,440
There was also a speaker as tall
as that chair with a microphone on it.
2381
02:09:52,520 --> 02:09:55,640
There were red and orange lights
to guide the abbot
2382
02:09:55,720 --> 02:09:58,080
through the woods so he doesn't get lost.
2383
02:09:58,920 --> 02:10:02,640
When we arrived, we thought,
"It's so desolate."
2384
02:10:02,720 --> 02:10:04,960
The sun was setting. It was getting dark.
2385
02:10:05,520 --> 02:10:09,120
There were two monks there,
the abbot and the prior.
2386
02:10:09,200 --> 02:10:11,200
The prior was the one doing the ceremony.
2387
02:10:11,280 --> 02:10:13,400
The abbot asked us to sit down.
2388
02:10:13,480 --> 02:10:17,000
There was some small talk.
We were served some water.
2389
02:10:17,080 --> 02:10:18,840
The prior informed us,
2390
02:10:18,920 --> 02:10:22,080
"Lord Naga is bringing his gift
at 9:00 tonight."
2391
02:10:23,480 --> 02:10:25,680
So we chitchatted.
There was nowhere to eat.
2392
02:10:25,760 --> 02:10:28,640
It was all forest.
2393
02:10:28,720 --> 02:10:30,040
We chatted.
2394
02:10:30,120 --> 02:10:33,600
We moseyed around until 9:00 p.m.
2395
02:10:33,680 --> 02:10:35,640
The prior came over and said,
2396
02:10:35,720 --> 02:10:38,360
"Lord Naga would like to postpone
to 10:00 p.m."
2397
02:10:40,160 --> 02:10:42,880
Oh. We asked, "Why is that so?"
2398
02:10:42,960 --> 02:10:46,600
"Lord Naga says that, within this group,
someone is being disrespectful."
2399
02:10:46,680 --> 02:10:49,680
"If you're disrespectful,
he won't give you a gift."
2400
02:10:50,800 --> 02:10:52,920
I didn't know who it was.
2401
02:10:53,000 --> 02:10:55,560
I can't just ask,
"Are you being disrespectful?"
2402
02:10:55,640 --> 02:10:58,680
No can do. So we waited
for 10:00 p.m. to come.
2403
02:10:58,760 --> 02:11:00,600
We chatted with the monks to kill time.
2404
02:11:00,680 --> 02:11:02,200
The abbot is sitting here,
2405
02:11:02,920 --> 02:11:04,280
Kong Huayrai is here,
2406
02:11:04,360 --> 02:11:06,520
Jae Nam is here, and I'm here.
2407
02:11:06,600 --> 02:11:10,960
Palmy is at the doorway
between the inside and the outside.
2408
02:11:11,040 --> 02:11:13,200
Palmy is standing like this.
2409
02:11:14,400 --> 02:11:16,080
Kong asked the abbot,
2410
02:11:17,280 --> 02:11:19,080
"Father, I don't know why,
2411
02:11:19,160 --> 02:11:23,040
but when I'm near the Mekong River,
I get heart palpitations."
2412
02:11:23,120 --> 02:11:25,280
"It's like I'm about to faint."
2413
02:11:25,360 --> 02:11:28,560
"I'm a good swimmer,
but I'm afraid of going into the water."
2414
02:11:29,400 --> 02:11:32,920
The abbot said, "You were a naga
in your past life. Are you aware?"
2415
02:11:33,760 --> 02:11:35,280
"Really?"
2416
02:11:35,360 --> 02:11:38,440
"Whatever you do that is related to nagas,
you'll do it well.
2417
02:11:38,520 --> 02:11:40,200
Like the songs you write."
2418
02:11:40,280 --> 02:11:44,400
"Oh, that's right.
When I write songs, it comes easy."
2419
02:11:44,480 --> 02:11:46,200
"I wake up, and the lyrics pour out."
2420
02:11:46,280 --> 02:11:47,360
"That's it."
2421
02:11:48,000 --> 02:11:51,200
"Your naga wife inspires you."
2422
02:11:51,280 --> 02:11:53,360
"You used to have a naga wife."
2423
02:11:53,440 --> 02:11:55,560
"You were reborn as a human."
2424
02:11:55,640 --> 02:11:57,360
"She's still waiting for you."
2425
02:11:58,600 --> 02:12:03,160
Kong replied, "No wonder whoever I date,
we always break up."
2426
02:12:03,240 --> 02:12:05,000
"Yes, she's making it difficult."
2427
02:12:05,080 --> 02:12:07,560
I thought to myself,
"It's because you're a flirt."
2428
02:12:10,240 --> 02:12:13,560
Kong said,
"Now that I'm married to my wife,
2429
02:12:13,640 --> 02:12:15,400
I'm afraid we'll break up."
2430
02:12:15,480 --> 02:12:17,720
"Can I do anything to prevent it?"
2431
02:12:17,800 --> 02:12:20,360
The abbot said, "How about this?"
2432
02:12:20,440 --> 02:12:22,440
"Go sing for the naga."
2433
02:12:23,240 --> 02:12:24,800
"Sing that song you wrote."
2434
02:12:25,360 --> 02:12:27,440
"That 'Khu Khong' song."
2435
02:12:27,520 --> 02:12:29,560
"Sing that for the naga."
2436
02:12:29,640 --> 02:12:31,080
"And where is he?"
2437
02:12:31,160 --> 02:12:32,800
"Right over there."
2438
02:12:33,800 --> 02:12:35,880
"The lotus pond is Lord Naga's palace."
2439
02:12:36,480 --> 02:12:38,440
"You can sing for him there."
2440
02:12:38,520 --> 02:12:40,720
"He'll acknowledge it,
and all will be well."
2441
02:12:40,800 --> 02:12:43,160
Kong believed him and went out.
2442
02:12:43,920 --> 02:12:45,360
The microphone was there
2443
02:12:46,600 --> 02:12:47,880
on the speaker.
2444
02:12:47,960 --> 02:12:50,800
And the forest was dark.
2445
02:12:50,880 --> 02:12:54,120
There wasn't much light in the temple.
Not much at all.
2446
02:12:55,120 --> 02:12:57,080
Kong started singing.
2447
02:12:57,760 --> 02:13:02,400
He wasn't half-assing it either.
He was, like, all in.
2448
02:13:04,320 --> 02:13:08,920
Wherever love is found…
2449
02:13:10,080 --> 02:13:12,720
As if his wife was listening.
His naga wife.
2450
02:13:12,800 --> 02:13:14,320
His real wife was inside.
2451
02:13:15,440 --> 02:13:19,600
It doesn't matter who it is
2452
02:13:19,680 --> 02:13:24,720
It'll be there, it won't disappear…
2453
02:13:27,160 --> 02:13:28,480
With the times
2454
02:13:28,560 --> 02:13:30,280
He cried. He really did.
2455
02:13:30,360 --> 02:13:32,960
It was surreal. He cried as he sang.
2456
02:13:33,040 --> 02:13:36,760
As he sang, his voice echoed inside.
2457
02:13:36,840 --> 02:13:39,800
Jae Nam was sitting in front of the abbot.
2458
02:13:39,880 --> 02:13:41,440
The abbot's seat was raised a bit.
2459
02:13:41,520 --> 02:13:44,240
There was an alms bowl
with holy water in it
2460
02:13:44,320 --> 02:13:46,120
and a bundle of bamboo strips.
2461
02:13:46,200 --> 02:13:48,560
The classic set of things
you find at a monastery.
2462
02:13:48,640 --> 02:13:51,880
Suddenly, Jae Nam got worked up,
like she was possessed.
2463
02:13:52,400 --> 02:13:53,840
She has yantra tattoos all over.
2464
02:13:53,920 --> 02:13:56,360
She's into black magic,
oil tattoos and holy water.
2465
02:13:56,440 --> 02:13:59,560
She worships holy stuff.
She also has a tiger tattoo on her back.
2466
02:14:00,280 --> 02:14:02,840
So Jae Nam jumped up. She wasn't herself.
2467
02:14:02,920 --> 02:14:04,720
She was… a tiger.
2468
02:14:10,240 --> 02:14:12,200
Oh, she's a tiger. This is bad.
2469
02:14:13,320 --> 02:14:15,920
She jumped up like what you see in clips
2470
02:14:16,000 --> 02:14:18,600
of initiation rituals.
2471
02:14:19,960 --> 02:14:22,400
Jae Nam was a damn tiger.
2472
02:14:22,480 --> 02:14:24,000
What the hell? I jumped away.
2473
02:14:24,680 --> 02:14:26,440
My back was against the wall.
2474
02:14:26,520 --> 02:14:28,280
Everyone scattered away.
2475
02:14:30,320 --> 02:14:31,320
Outside…
2476
02:14:31,400 --> 02:14:34,240
It'll be there
2477
02:14:34,320 --> 02:14:37,400
He was completely clueless
about the tiger pouncing inside.
2478
02:14:37,480 --> 02:14:38,840
The floors shook.
2479
02:14:38,920 --> 02:14:41,760
I was like, "Father, help us!"
2480
02:14:41,840 --> 02:14:45,600
The abbot had a bowl of holy water.
He grabbed the bamboo bundle and chanted…
2481
02:14:51,000 --> 02:14:54,000
He splashed holy water at her,
but she didn't calm down.
2482
02:14:54,080 --> 02:14:57,080
It was like adding fuel to a fire.
2483
02:14:57,160 --> 02:14:58,720
She got even more erratic.
2484
02:15:00,080 --> 02:15:03,280
No one dared to stop her now.
"Jae Nam, what's up with you?"
2485
02:15:05,400 --> 02:15:06,640
Outside…
2486
02:15:14,480 --> 02:15:15,760
Jae Nam was still a tiger.
2487
02:15:15,840 --> 02:15:18,600
I said, "Father, help! Please help!"
2488
02:15:18,680 --> 02:15:22,040
He'd already splashed
the holy water at her. It didn't work.
2489
02:15:22,800 --> 02:15:24,360
He ran out of ideas.
2490
02:15:24,440 --> 02:15:27,720
He rummaged through the things around him
2491
02:15:27,800 --> 02:15:29,400
and found a conch shell,
2492
02:15:30,400 --> 02:15:33,240
like those you see along the beaches
of Bang Saen or Rayong.
2493
02:15:33,320 --> 02:15:35,320
It was about a foot long.
2494
02:15:35,400 --> 02:15:38,240
He didn't know what to do.
I think he was startled.
2495
02:15:38,320 --> 02:15:41,760
So he threw the conch at Jae Nam.
2496
02:15:41,840 --> 02:15:44,960
He threw it.
The conch hit her and kept rolling.
2497
02:15:45,040 --> 02:15:48,400
And you know what?
The tiger went and picked up the conch.
2498
02:15:51,680 --> 02:15:53,760
Why, you ask? To blow.
2499
02:15:55,640 --> 02:15:57,040
What the hell?
2500
02:15:59,160 --> 02:16:01,760
There was no melody. It was just air.
2501
02:16:03,040 --> 02:16:05,160
A tiger was blowing a conch.
2502
02:16:05,240 --> 02:16:06,640
Outside,
2503
02:16:06,720 --> 02:16:09,160
the singer was crying to his naga wife.
2504
02:16:11,760 --> 02:16:16,360
Whatever happens, we'll stay strong
2505
02:16:22,840 --> 02:16:24,960
Palmy was at the door.
2506
02:16:25,040 --> 02:16:28,520
She was observing both events.
She saw all that happened.
2507
02:16:28,600 --> 02:16:30,880
In the dark, Palmy exclaimed,
2508
02:16:31,880 --> 02:16:33,440
"What the fuck?"
2509
02:16:47,200 --> 02:16:49,040
"Too much religion."
2510
02:16:50,879 --> 02:16:53,719
"Why are we here, Note?"
2511
02:16:53,799 --> 02:16:57,719
I don't know either! I didn't think
it could get this out of hand.
2512
02:16:57,799 --> 02:16:59,280
Jae Nam kept blowing…
2513
02:17:01,280 --> 02:17:03,760
until she ran out of breath
and fainted onto the mat.
2514
02:17:03,840 --> 02:17:06,520
I was like,
"What kind of multiverse is this?"
2515
02:17:07,240 --> 02:17:09,920
"How did I end up here? I'm so confused."
2516
02:17:10,000 --> 02:17:12,120
Once Jae Nam fainted,
2517
02:17:12,200 --> 02:17:14,280
everyone started to calm down.
2518
02:17:14,760 --> 02:17:17,639
They fetched drinking water for her.
2519
02:17:18,320 --> 02:17:22,480
The timing was perfect. Kong finished
his song, came back in, dried his tears.
2520
02:17:22,559 --> 02:17:25,360
He came back in and said,
"What's wrong with Jae Nam?"
2521
02:17:26,639 --> 02:17:28,680
You too! What the hell is up with you?
2522
02:17:32,160 --> 02:17:36,639
Next, the prior in the monks' quarters
finished the ceremony and came out.
2523
02:17:36,719 --> 02:17:37,719
Perfect timing.
2524
02:17:37,799 --> 02:17:39,520
"All right, everyone."
2525
02:17:39,600 --> 02:17:41,680
"Lord Naga is ready."
2526
02:17:41,760 --> 02:17:44,879
"You can go get your gift."
2527
02:17:44,959 --> 02:17:46,160
"Where, Father?"
2528
02:17:46,240 --> 02:17:49,680
"You, young man, go into the lotus pond."
2529
02:17:49,760 --> 02:17:51,959
"Huh? Why do I need to go in?"
2530
02:17:52,040 --> 02:17:56,600
"That's Lord Naga's palace.
That's his home."
2531
02:17:56,680 --> 02:17:57,840
"Us?"
2532
02:17:58,559 --> 02:18:01,480
"You want us to go into his home?"
2533
02:18:02,280 --> 02:18:03,840
"To be his supper?"
2534
02:18:06,559 --> 02:18:09,680
It was pitch dark. So dark.
There were no lights.
2535
02:18:09,760 --> 02:18:13,959
We only had the temple's flashlight
and our phones' flashlights.
2536
02:18:14,040 --> 02:18:17,360
We were pretty dazed,
so we followed the abbot.
2537
02:18:17,440 --> 02:18:22,000
Then the abbot said,
"The ladies cannot go in."
2538
02:18:22,840 --> 02:18:24,440
"It will contradict his powers."
2539
02:18:24,520 --> 02:18:28,600
"Ladies have menstrual cycles.
It negatively affects his powers."
2540
02:18:28,680 --> 02:18:32,879
So we're like, okay, no girls in the pond.
Palmy, you can't go in.
2541
02:18:32,959 --> 02:18:36,200
As we were sorting this out,
Jae Nam was already in the pond.
2542
02:18:38,920 --> 02:18:41,200
Jae Nam didn't think she was human.
2543
02:18:41,760 --> 02:18:42,840
She was a tiger.
2544
02:18:44,160 --> 02:18:46,799
No one dared to stop her
for fear she'd bite us.
2545
02:18:50,680 --> 02:18:53,240
"Father, she's already in the pond."
2546
02:18:53,320 --> 02:18:56,040
"Well, I don't know…"
2547
02:18:56,120 --> 02:18:58,040
"All right."
2548
02:18:58,120 --> 02:19:00,799
In that lotus pond
the size of a basketball court,
2549
02:19:00,879 --> 02:19:02,680
the abbot had us hold hands.
2550
02:19:03,520 --> 02:19:07,160
We held hands and walked side by side
from one end to the other.
2551
02:19:07,240 --> 02:19:10,520
If we find anything, we should pick it up.
That's the naga's gift.
2552
02:19:11,360 --> 02:19:14,600
"Okay," said the abbot.
"From up here, I'll perform the ceremony."
2553
02:19:14,680 --> 02:19:16,160
He lit a candle.
2554
02:19:17,040 --> 02:19:19,280
There were whistles of the natural breeze,
2555
02:19:19,360 --> 02:19:23,520
the natural sounds of crickets,
and darkness,
2556
02:19:23,600 --> 02:19:27,600
as well as the uneasiness of our fear.
2557
02:19:27,680 --> 02:19:30,200
When I went in, the water was this high.
2558
02:19:30,280 --> 02:19:32,400
The bottom was mud. We walked in that.
2559
02:19:32,480 --> 02:19:35,000
It was a lotus pond,
or a former lotus pond.
2560
02:19:35,080 --> 02:19:37,840
There weren't any new lotuses.
There were only dried stems,
2561
02:19:37,920 --> 02:19:40,440
which irritated our feet
when we stepped on them.
2562
02:19:40,520 --> 02:19:42,879
As we walked,
small bubbles would form with each step.
2563
02:19:42,959 --> 02:19:45,240
There was a pungent smell. But we…
2564
02:19:46,360 --> 02:19:49,600
I honestly don't know why we did it,
but we had come this far.
2565
02:19:49,680 --> 02:19:51,240
The abbot said, "All right."
2566
02:19:51,320 --> 02:19:55,680
His voice was soft, but you could hear it
clearly in the darkness.
2567
02:19:55,760 --> 02:19:58,720
"If you find anything, don't yell."
2568
02:19:59,440 --> 02:20:03,120
"Don't make a racket.
Don't make it a big deal."
2569
02:20:03,960 --> 02:20:05,000
Huh?
2570
02:20:05,960 --> 02:20:08,520
I'm in a pond. If a naga comes,
2571
02:20:08,600 --> 02:20:11,480
wraps its body around me, gobbles my leg,
2572
02:20:11,560 --> 02:20:13,040
should I really stay quiet?
2573
02:20:14,680 --> 02:20:16,640
Should I just let myself sink down?
2574
02:20:19,880 --> 02:20:20,880
Really?
2575
02:20:22,120 --> 02:20:25,840
I was so confused. Everyone was scared.
Myself, Palmy's partner,
2576
02:20:27,160 --> 02:20:29,600
the driver, all the men, you know?
2577
02:20:29,680 --> 02:20:31,880
We were all scared.
Only one of us was cheerful.
2578
02:20:33,920 --> 02:20:35,040
The ex-naga.
2579
02:20:36,920 --> 02:20:39,120
Kong Huayrai.
He was swimming, going all in.
2580
02:20:40,640 --> 02:20:44,120
He was doing the butterfly stroke.
Because nagas swim like this.
2581
02:20:44,200 --> 02:20:46,600
He was swimming away, enjoying the moment.
2582
02:20:46,680 --> 02:20:49,480
He was heading home,
going to see his wife.
2583
02:20:50,520 --> 02:20:52,760
Amidst the silence
were our squishy-squashy sounds.
2584
02:20:54,320 --> 02:20:57,000
Meanwhile,
the abbot was chanting his mantras.
2585
02:20:57,080 --> 02:20:58,640
Midway, he said,
2586
02:20:58,720 --> 02:21:01,040
"Miss, you on the shore,
2587
02:21:02,080 --> 02:21:03,600
please chant with me."
2588
02:21:04,440 --> 02:21:06,480
"The 'Itipiso' chant."
2589
02:21:06,560 --> 02:21:08,600
"Chant along with me."
2590
02:21:10,400 --> 02:21:12,240
The woman on the shore
2591
02:21:12,320 --> 02:21:13,760
was no one other than
2592
02:21:14,400 --> 02:21:16,440
Eve Pancharoen,
2593
02:21:16,520 --> 02:21:17,840
our dear Palmy.
2594
02:21:18,680 --> 02:21:20,880
In the total blackness
2595
02:21:22,560 --> 02:21:23,600
of the forest,
2596
02:21:24,840 --> 02:21:26,200
you could hear
2597
02:21:27,120 --> 02:21:29,600
Palmy's voice performing a single
2598
02:21:29,680 --> 02:21:31,360
unlike any other.
2599
02:21:33,760 --> 02:21:35,720
While we were squish-squashing away…
2600
02:21:37,160 --> 02:21:42,680
Itipiso bhagava araham
2601
02:21:42,760 --> 02:21:46,280
Samma sambuddho
2602
02:21:47,640 --> 02:21:52,520
Vijjacaranasampanno
2603
02:21:52,600 --> 02:21:56,360
Sugato lokavidu
2604
02:21:56,440 --> 02:21:58,240
Anuttaro…
2605
02:22:00,120 --> 02:22:01,800
So damn surreal.
2606
02:22:07,280 --> 02:22:11,080
I thought I was dreaming.
2607
02:22:11,160 --> 02:22:13,920
We're squish-squashing in a naga's palace
2608
02:22:14,000 --> 02:22:16,080
while Palmy's chanting "Itipiso."
2609
02:22:16,160 --> 02:22:17,640
What madness is this?
2610
02:22:17,720 --> 02:22:19,840
We were squish-squashing
and feeling around.
2611
02:22:19,920 --> 02:22:23,080
In the darkness, Kong called out,
"Note! Note! Note!"
2612
02:22:24,360 --> 02:22:26,480
"What? What's up? What?"
2613
02:22:27,720 --> 02:22:29,680
"He swam through my legs!"
2614
02:22:30,600 --> 02:22:33,360
"What?" "He swam through my legs!"
2615
02:22:33,440 --> 02:22:34,440
What the hell?
2616
02:22:36,360 --> 02:22:37,960
"He's real! He swam through my legs."
2617
02:22:38,040 --> 02:22:41,680
What he meant was
a naga swam through his legs.
2618
02:22:42,720 --> 02:22:45,840
Really? Its crest didn't slice your balls?
2619
02:22:51,080 --> 02:22:53,880
It didn't make me feel better.
2620
02:22:53,960 --> 02:22:56,840
I was terrified.
We squeezed our hands hard.
2621
02:22:56,920 --> 02:22:58,600
Don't you dare swim under me!
2622
02:22:58,680 --> 02:23:00,440
No swimming under! Don't strangle me!
2623
02:23:00,520 --> 02:23:04,440
We kept walking to the other end.
It took several minutes.
2624
02:23:04,520 --> 02:23:06,520
Before we reached the shore,
2625
02:23:06,600 --> 02:23:08,040
it grew quiet all around.
2626
02:23:09,200 --> 02:23:10,440
The abbot said,
2627
02:23:10,520 --> 02:23:13,160
"Don't stop."
2628
02:23:13,240 --> 02:23:15,120
"Keep chanting."
2629
02:23:15,200 --> 02:23:17,040
He was probably talking to Palmy.
2630
02:23:19,560 --> 02:23:21,680
"My throat is dry from chanting."
2631
02:23:23,680 --> 02:23:26,760
"I'm sitting on tons
of touch-me-not plants."
2632
02:23:27,640 --> 02:23:30,000
"My bottom hurts."
2633
02:23:34,960 --> 02:23:36,920
Itipiso…
2634
02:23:42,160 --> 02:23:43,920
We walked all the way.
2635
02:23:44,000 --> 02:23:46,520
We found nothing!
We rummaged around and found nothing.
2636
02:23:46,600 --> 02:23:47,920
I was so discouraged.
2637
02:23:48,000 --> 02:23:51,200
I crawled to the edge of the pond.
The edge was about 1.5 meters high.
2638
02:23:51,280 --> 02:23:55,280
I told the abbot,
"Father, we didn't find anything."
2639
02:23:55,360 --> 02:23:57,400
The abbot said, "Hmm."
2640
02:23:57,480 --> 02:23:59,360
"This has never happened before."
2641
02:24:01,400 --> 02:24:04,040
"Something must have gone wrong."
2642
02:24:04,120 --> 02:24:06,440
"Lord Naga said we disrespected him."
2643
02:24:06,520 --> 02:24:08,560
"Someone must have been disrespectful."
2644
02:24:08,640 --> 02:24:09,680
Who?
2645
02:24:11,920 --> 02:24:13,360
Not me.
2646
02:24:13,440 --> 02:24:16,480
I came to observe, you know?
2647
02:24:17,240 --> 02:24:18,240
So…
2648
02:24:18,320 --> 02:24:20,480
"I'll go in myself," the abbot said.
2649
02:24:20,560 --> 02:24:24,040
He took off his robe, wearing only
his shoulder piece and inner garment,
2650
02:24:24,120 --> 02:24:25,480
and went into the pond.
2651
02:24:25,560 --> 02:24:27,640
But we didn't want to go
for a second round.
2652
02:24:27,720 --> 02:24:31,160
We were already covered in mud,
and it was almost midnight.
2653
02:24:31,840 --> 02:24:35,160
You know who went with the abbot?
You guessed it. That guy.
2654
02:24:37,000 --> 02:24:39,000
Bobbing up and down he went.
2655
02:24:39,080 --> 02:24:41,000
They rummaged around.
2656
02:24:41,080 --> 02:24:44,000
All the way to the end. And they found it.
2657
02:24:44,080 --> 02:24:45,880
For real.
2658
02:24:45,960 --> 02:24:47,840
A crystal ball. A crystal ball.
2659
02:24:48,400 --> 02:24:50,960
The abbot said it was Lord Naga's.
It was this big.
2660
02:24:51,760 --> 02:24:53,600
It weighed about 130 pounds.
2661
02:24:53,680 --> 02:24:57,000
It was crystal clear.
They fished it out, and it slipped away.
2662
02:24:57,080 --> 02:24:58,960
"It's wriggling," Kong said.
2663
02:24:59,040 --> 02:25:00,440
It kept slipping away.
2664
02:25:00,520 --> 02:25:04,760
It was muddy, you know.
The crystal ball kept slipping away.
2665
02:25:04,840 --> 02:25:09,080
Finally, the driver was called
to bring a cloth to hold the ball.
2666
02:25:09,160 --> 02:25:12,280
They carried it up.
It took about six people. It was heavy.
2667
02:25:12,360 --> 02:25:16,200
We washed it and brought it
to the monks' quarters on a pedestal tray.
2668
02:25:16,280 --> 02:25:18,600
We looked at it, oohing and aahing.
2669
02:25:19,720 --> 02:25:21,320
Kong was so elated.
2670
02:25:21,400 --> 02:25:23,680
He paid his respect,
washed it and dried it.
2671
02:25:23,760 --> 02:25:25,760
He wouldn't stop talking.
2672
02:25:26,400 --> 02:25:29,160
I didn't know what to think.
It was very clear and beautiful.
2673
02:25:29,240 --> 02:25:30,680
Palmy came to look.
2674
02:25:30,760 --> 02:25:32,600
"Can I see it?"
2675
02:25:34,840 --> 02:25:38,560
"Father, can I touch it?" "Yes, go ahead."
Palmy squeezed in.
2676
02:25:42,680 --> 02:25:45,680
"Is this what we were chanting for
for so long?"
2677
02:25:47,800 --> 02:25:50,600
"You can find tons of these
at Tha Phra Chan."
2678
02:26:02,480 --> 02:26:06,920
In the end, I couldn't bring it back
by plane because it was too heavy.
2679
02:26:07,000 --> 02:26:10,720
We had to hire a van
to transport it from Nan to Bangkok.
2680
02:26:10,800 --> 02:26:14,240
We ended up giving the crystal ball
to Kong Huayrai.
2681
02:26:14,320 --> 02:26:16,200
He was super excited.
2682
02:26:16,800 --> 02:26:20,000
My show is supposed to end around now.
Right about now.
2683
02:26:20,080 --> 02:26:23,960
But I don't want to end it yet.
Can I stay a little longer?
2684
02:26:34,720 --> 02:26:36,320
Because I have yet to mention
2685
02:26:36,400 --> 02:26:39,840
one person
whom I will not tolerate anymore.
2686
02:26:40,880 --> 02:26:43,120
I've tolerated him for eight years.
2687
02:26:53,400 --> 02:26:55,520
What's this? You guys too?
2688
02:26:56,360 --> 02:26:57,720
You're kidding.
2689
02:26:59,480 --> 02:27:01,440
He's kind of…
2690
02:27:07,120 --> 02:27:09,680
Let's just say he doesn't want to leave.
2691
02:27:09,760 --> 02:27:14,000
Psychologically speaking,
he wants to stay with a passion.
2692
02:27:14,080 --> 02:27:16,400
Even though he acts like, you know,
2693
02:27:17,320 --> 02:27:19,920
"Whatever the people want, okay?"
2694
02:27:20,920 --> 02:27:25,920
But his behavior shows that he wants
to stay, maybe until the APEC meeting,
2695
02:27:26,600 --> 02:27:28,120
as an honor for his family.
2696
02:27:28,200 --> 02:27:30,480
Or maybe he wants to stay
for another four years
2697
02:27:30,560 --> 02:27:33,800
to make it 12 years in total
to break some kind of record.
2698
02:27:33,880 --> 02:27:36,840
But, like, since he won't go,
2699
02:27:36,920 --> 02:27:40,440
I suggest that
we make his dream come true.
2700
02:27:40,520 --> 02:27:42,760
Let's make
an elderly man's dream come true.
2701
02:27:42,840 --> 02:27:46,240
So that when he goes, he has no regrets.
2702
02:27:47,280 --> 02:27:49,560
Deep down, I want to join his team
2703
02:27:50,600 --> 02:27:53,360
and help him campaign for his next term.
2704
02:27:53,440 --> 02:27:55,840
Because I know that
if he does it himself, he'll fail.
2705
02:27:57,200 --> 02:27:59,520
You see, it's old news already,
2706
02:27:59,600 --> 02:28:01,840
publicizing and campaigning
in the old way.
2707
02:28:01,920 --> 02:28:04,640
Better known as "false promises."
2708
02:28:05,640 --> 02:28:08,200
Promising to do this and that.
2709
02:28:08,280 --> 02:28:11,400
Promising to raise the minimum wage
to 400 baht and whatnot.
2710
02:28:11,480 --> 02:28:14,360
When those aren't fulfilled,
they delete the discussion forum.
2711
02:28:20,480 --> 02:28:23,640
We've had enough of that.
These days, your true self is what sells.
2712
02:28:23,720 --> 02:28:28,760
Just be yourself. If people vote for you,
it's because they like who you are.
2713
02:28:28,840 --> 02:28:32,160
You know? I call this kind of marketing
2714
02:28:32,240 --> 02:28:34,280
"bully marketing."
2715
02:28:35,160 --> 02:28:36,960
Just tell the world who we are.
2716
02:28:38,160 --> 02:28:40,960
The idea I've come up for Uncle Tu
2717
02:28:41,040 --> 02:28:43,680
comes from the Bangkok governor election.
2718
02:28:43,760 --> 02:28:46,040
They use those cars that blast
Thai country music
2719
02:28:46,760 --> 02:28:49,440
with familiar melodies
and adjusted lyrics.
2720
02:28:49,520 --> 02:28:51,800
The tunes are very catchy. After that,
2721
02:28:51,880 --> 02:28:55,600
publicize your qualifications truthfully.
2722
02:28:56,760 --> 02:28:58,680
What I heard sounded like this.
2723
02:29:02,560 --> 02:29:04,280
You'll hear the echoes.
2724
02:29:04,360 --> 02:29:06,120
Up-country vibes, you know?
2725
02:29:07,280 --> 02:29:08,760
Turn up the echo, please.
2726
02:29:12,720 --> 02:29:14,400
It runs past your house.
2727
02:29:15,840 --> 02:29:19,400
I will cast an enchanting spell
2728
02:29:19,880 --> 02:29:25,040
Telling your heart to choose an old flame
2729
02:29:25,960 --> 02:29:28,000
The same prime minister
2730
02:29:28,640 --> 02:29:30,920
Let's gather round
2731
02:29:31,000 --> 02:29:33,120
Let's sound our votes
2732
02:29:33,200 --> 02:29:37,640
And choose old Uncle Tu
2733
02:29:42,560 --> 02:29:44,440
Next, state your qualifications.
2734
02:29:44,520 --> 02:29:45,880
Bold.
2735
02:29:47,160 --> 02:29:48,400
Unreliable.
2736
02:29:53,200 --> 02:29:56,120
We've been left to care for ourselves.
2737
02:29:56,200 --> 02:29:57,360
Bold.
2738
02:29:57,440 --> 02:29:58,920
Unreliable.
2739
02:29:59,000 --> 02:30:00,920
Enabler of existing issues.
2740
02:30:01,000 --> 02:30:02,920
Creator of new ones.
2741
02:30:03,000 --> 02:30:05,520
You have to tell people
what they should expect, right?
2742
02:30:10,800 --> 02:30:13,240
Enabler of existing issues.
Creator of new ones.
2743
02:30:13,320 --> 02:30:16,000
Ensurer of transparency.
2744
02:30:16,080 --> 02:30:17,440
But no audits allowed.
2745
02:30:22,840 --> 02:30:24,640
Ready to face all problems
2746
02:30:24,720 --> 02:30:26,480
with all the intellect he has
2747
02:30:27,240 --> 02:30:29,840
and all of his 84,000 brain cells.
2748
02:30:32,400 --> 02:30:35,480
His strongest point… is his head.
2749
02:30:41,280 --> 02:30:43,280
His strongest point is his head.
2750
02:30:43,360 --> 02:30:45,960
His weakest point is what's inside it.
2751
02:30:54,920 --> 02:30:56,360
He's smart with words.
2752
02:30:57,680 --> 02:30:59,720
But smarter without.
2753
02:31:04,880 --> 02:31:08,600
A prime minister who fixes
the country's problems by writing songs.
2754
02:31:08,680 --> 02:31:12,400
So many new songs.
Why don't you just make an album?
2755
02:31:13,920 --> 02:31:16,280
He fixes the country's problems
by writing songs.
2756
02:31:16,360 --> 02:31:18,800
He fixes his own problems
by acting aggressively.
2757
02:31:20,200 --> 02:31:23,520
When there's a question he can't answer,
he covers it up with anger.
2758
02:31:25,440 --> 02:31:27,960
The man who made a commitment
to the nation.
2759
02:31:29,240 --> 02:31:31,120
And not just one nation.
2760
02:31:34,240 --> 02:31:36,680
He's made commitments with many nations.
2761
02:31:36,760 --> 02:31:39,240
The latest commitment
was getting a loan from Japan.
2762
02:31:46,280 --> 02:31:48,640
Our debt is now
at tens of millions of baht.
2763
02:31:49,640 --> 02:31:53,040
Let's stay calm,
and pay back our debts together.
2764
02:31:57,920 --> 02:32:01,720
Let's pass on our debts to our children.
2765
02:32:01,800 --> 02:32:03,000
Why, you say?
2766
02:32:03,080 --> 02:32:05,920
Because our generation can't pay it off.
2767
02:32:11,400 --> 02:32:13,360
We don't copy anyone's policies.
2768
02:32:14,320 --> 02:32:18,280
If you vote for Chadchart,
you'll get work, work, work.
2769
02:32:19,040 --> 02:32:24,160
But if you vote for Uncle Tu,
you'll have to pray, pray, pray.
2770
02:32:30,400 --> 02:32:33,480
And get annoyed, annoyed, annoyed.
2771
02:32:40,480 --> 02:32:42,440
Let's take a break from the campaign.
2772
02:32:43,320 --> 02:32:46,160
Let's cut to the people
gossiping on the streets.
2773
02:32:46,880 --> 02:32:47,960
The thing is,
2774
02:32:49,280 --> 02:32:51,600
there are two people in this country
2775
02:32:51,680 --> 02:32:53,840
who, whenever they speak,
2776
02:32:53,920 --> 02:32:55,440
I get mad.
2777
02:32:56,120 --> 02:32:59,400
Those two people are Uncle Tu and Kratik.
2778
02:33:02,480 --> 02:33:03,560
It's like…
2779
02:33:12,880 --> 02:33:13,920
"Sir,
2780
02:33:14,600 --> 02:33:17,160
how can we fix traffic jams?"
2781
02:33:17,880 --> 02:33:20,560
"Traffic jams are good.
They prevent accidents."
2782
02:33:28,800 --> 02:33:32,200
He was the chief guest the other day.
Uncle Tu was the chief guest
2783
02:33:32,280 --> 02:33:36,240
at the Thailand 5G Summit.
2784
02:33:37,040 --> 02:33:38,840
It was a technology conference.
2785
02:33:40,280 --> 02:33:43,360
He presided over a meeting
about technology.
2786
02:33:47,040 --> 02:33:49,640
The golden line of that day
was when he said
2787
02:33:49,720 --> 02:33:51,280
he had so much work
2788
02:33:52,120 --> 02:33:56,360
that if he were a computer, at this rate,
he'd have already crashed.
2789
02:33:57,320 --> 02:33:59,880
Sir, please take a deep breath
and wake up.
2790
02:34:00,600 --> 02:34:02,840
You are not a computer.
2791
02:34:02,920 --> 02:34:06,240
Computers have a processing unit…
2792
02:34:12,000 --> 02:34:13,880
as well as a memory unit.
2793
02:34:14,560 --> 02:34:15,800
You have neither.
2794
02:34:17,440 --> 02:34:20,120
You are merely a keyboard.
2795
02:34:20,200 --> 02:34:22,560
Okay? There isn't even a screen.
2796
02:34:24,080 --> 02:34:26,160
There are no displays of your work at all.
2797
02:34:26,240 --> 02:34:29,840
Some would even call you a typewriter.
And a vintage one at that.
2798
02:34:37,680 --> 02:34:38,920
Is that annoying?
2799
02:34:39,000 --> 02:34:41,960
Yes, yes, and yes.
2800
02:34:45,040 --> 02:34:48,600
I have a simple question for you.
Let's say you own a business.
2801
02:34:48,680 --> 02:34:50,920
Y'all probably have one of some sort.
2802
02:34:51,000 --> 02:34:53,360
Let's say someone applied to work for you
2803
02:34:54,320 --> 02:34:56,080
with the attitude…
2804
02:34:58,200 --> 02:35:00,320
"You think I want to be doing this?"
2805
02:35:01,240 --> 02:35:02,800
"Want to try your hand at it?"
2806
02:35:03,400 --> 02:35:06,520
Imagine this was a job candidate.
They applied for a job.
2807
02:35:06,600 --> 02:35:08,400
Would you hire them?
2808
02:35:09,200 --> 02:35:11,000
It's an easy question.
2809
02:35:11,880 --> 02:35:14,880
Right now, this kind of person
is working for us.
2810
02:35:17,480 --> 02:35:19,280
Think there's a future here?
2811
02:35:29,360 --> 02:35:33,000
What's Thailand's population?
2812
02:35:33,080 --> 02:35:36,280
Is it 67 or 76 million?
2813
02:35:37,120 --> 02:35:40,040
Somewhere around that.
Tens of millions of people.
2814
02:35:40,120 --> 02:35:43,840
Imagine we're all on the same plane.
2815
02:35:44,360 --> 02:35:48,000
We're on a huge plane.
This plane is called Thailand.
2816
02:35:49,760 --> 02:35:53,920
Normally, a plane is flown
by an experienced pilot.
2817
02:35:54,880 --> 02:35:58,160
Right? A plane is flown by a pilot.
2818
02:35:58,240 --> 02:36:04,480
But right now, all the knowledgeable
and capable pilots aren't in control.
2819
02:36:05,560 --> 02:36:08,080
Who's in the cockpit? A security guard.
2820
02:36:13,800 --> 02:36:18,200
Let's get on the same page first.
I'm not looking down on security guards.
2821
02:36:18,280 --> 02:36:21,480
Humans are born
with different preferences.
2822
02:36:21,560 --> 02:36:23,960
You like numbers? Be an accountant.
2823
02:36:24,960 --> 02:36:28,200
You like peace and not being attached?
Be a monk.
2824
02:36:28,960 --> 02:36:32,040
You like fighting? Be a boxer.
You like cooking? Be a chef.
2825
02:36:32,120 --> 02:36:34,080
Everyone has their own thing.
2826
02:36:34,160 --> 02:36:38,680
You like titles and ranks?
You like discipline? Be a soldier.
2827
02:36:38,760 --> 02:36:42,080
You like maintaining order and security?
2828
02:36:42,160 --> 02:36:44,080
Be a security guard.
2829
02:36:44,160 --> 02:36:46,640
The world needs everyone.
2830
02:36:46,720 --> 02:36:48,040
But that doesn't mean
2831
02:36:48,680 --> 02:36:50,080
a security guard
2832
02:36:51,080 --> 02:36:53,160
will be good at flying a plane.
2833
02:36:53,240 --> 02:36:55,160
Let's take a deep breath.
2834
02:36:55,240 --> 02:36:59,480
Right now, our nation is being piloted
by a security guard.
2835
02:37:00,520 --> 02:37:03,680
For the fans of Uncle Tu, hear me out.
2836
02:37:03,760 --> 02:37:07,680
I'm not saying he's a bad guy.
Just hear me out.
2837
02:37:07,760 --> 02:37:09,920
I used to like him too.
2838
02:37:13,480 --> 02:37:15,720
I'm not saying he's a bad person.
2839
02:37:15,800 --> 02:37:19,800
Being capable of flying a plane
is separate from being a good person.
2840
02:37:19,880 --> 02:37:21,240
Say we meet this monk.
2841
02:37:21,320 --> 02:37:23,760
He does good things
and observes 227 rules of conduct.
2842
02:37:23,840 --> 02:37:27,360
Are you going to ask him
to fly a plane? No.
2843
02:37:27,440 --> 02:37:31,240
Virtues and good deeds
cannot lift a Boeing
2844
02:37:31,320 --> 02:37:34,080
weighing 200 tons into the air.
2845
02:37:34,160 --> 02:37:37,080
Let's be clear on that.
It's about expertise.
2846
02:37:37,160 --> 02:37:40,520
Our nation is being piloted
by a non-pilot.
2847
02:37:41,520 --> 02:37:44,720
Since he doesn't know how to do it,
when he has to…
2848
02:37:45,880 --> 02:37:48,360
When people do things
they don't know how to,
2849
02:37:48,440 --> 02:37:50,560
all they can do is act.
2850
02:37:50,640 --> 02:37:52,440
Say you become the head chef.
2851
02:37:52,520 --> 02:37:55,640
You can't cook, but you're appointed
as one. What can you do?
2852
02:37:55,720 --> 02:37:58,280
You put on the uniform and act the part.
2853
02:37:58,360 --> 02:38:00,600
When asked about recipes, you act all mad.
2854
02:38:01,360 --> 02:38:04,800
You yell them away.
It's a survival mechanism.
2855
02:38:05,720 --> 02:38:08,840
Say you're a soccer coach.
You don't know how to play it.
2856
02:38:08,920 --> 02:38:11,120
What can you do? You act.
2857
02:38:12,240 --> 02:38:15,160
It's a pitiful sight,
having to dress up as a soccer coach
2858
02:38:15,240 --> 02:38:18,360
and go, "Hey! Advance! Let's go! Run!"
2859
02:38:18,440 --> 02:38:20,560
But do you even know how to play?
2860
02:38:20,640 --> 02:38:23,640
It's like that.
That's how he's flying the plane.
2861
02:38:24,480 --> 02:38:29,160
The people on the plane can feel it.
They're not thinking he's a bad person.
2862
02:38:29,240 --> 02:38:32,040
They're just wondering
where he's taking them.
2863
02:38:41,880 --> 02:38:44,720
Are we wrong to question
where we're heading?
2864
02:38:44,800 --> 02:38:47,400
As passengers,
we need to know where we're going to land.
2865
02:38:47,480 --> 02:38:49,800
When we bring it up, he yells at us.
2866
02:38:50,880 --> 02:38:54,720
"It's a 20-year route."
2867
02:38:54,800 --> 02:38:58,160
Well, what are the stops
along this 20-year route?
2868
02:38:58,240 --> 02:39:01,840
And when the plane has problems,
2869
02:39:03,080 --> 02:39:06,200
whether it's air pressure,
lack of food or clogged toilets,
2870
02:39:06,280 --> 02:39:08,680
he knows nothing when we ask him.
2871
02:39:08,760 --> 02:39:11,960
When one doesn't know how to pilot,
there's a pilot handbook.
2872
02:39:12,040 --> 02:39:14,760
Unfortunately, that doesn't help,
because it's in English.
2873
02:39:19,960 --> 02:39:22,160
My English isn't that good either.
2874
02:39:22,240 --> 02:39:26,640
But shouldn't we let those
who can read it do the job?
2875
02:39:26,720 --> 02:39:31,320
The solution isn't to read a Better Homes
and Gardens magazine instead.
2876
02:39:32,040 --> 02:39:34,760
This isn't the time to decorate the plane.
2877
02:39:34,840 --> 02:39:38,000
We can't rely on him.
He has no answers. So we ask the copilot,
2878
02:39:38,080 --> 02:39:40,440
who has more seniority and experience.
2879
02:39:40,520 --> 02:39:43,360
We nudge the copilot,
and heavens, he's fast asleep.
2880
02:39:50,000 --> 02:39:51,600
We nudge and ask him.
2881
02:39:54,120 --> 02:39:56,000
"I have no clue."
2882
02:39:59,440 --> 02:40:02,680
Having to fly somewhere
2883
02:40:03,920 --> 02:40:06,040
without knowing the destination…
2884
02:40:06,120 --> 02:40:08,840
Don't even mention the 20-year plan.
2885
02:40:09,600 --> 02:40:14,120
For your plan, 20 minutes
is already too long.
2886
02:40:23,360 --> 02:40:25,840
This is the sentiment of our nation.
2887
02:40:25,920 --> 02:40:28,480
We don't know where we're heading.
2888
02:40:28,560 --> 02:40:31,440
If you love the people as you say you do,
2889
02:40:31,520 --> 02:40:33,760
both of you, the pilot and copilot,
2890
02:40:33,840 --> 02:40:36,280
please eject yourselves from the plane.
2891
02:40:44,640 --> 02:40:47,800
Don't worry that we'll crash.
You can turn on the autopilot mode.
2892
02:40:47,880 --> 02:40:51,120
The passengers will find a suitable pilot.
2893
02:40:51,200 --> 02:40:56,200
So many people know how to do the job.
Let the people figure it out.
2894
02:40:56,280 --> 02:41:01,200
Don't be like, "No!
We'll choose someone ourselves."
2895
02:41:01,280 --> 02:41:05,560
Don't have 250 senators choose for us.
2896
02:41:14,040 --> 02:41:15,600
Just a second.
2897
02:41:15,680 --> 02:41:17,320
Can I have this light on?
2898
02:41:19,640 --> 02:41:22,440
You in the black shirt.
You're not a soldier, right?
2899
02:41:25,360 --> 02:41:31,000
Let's talk this out.
Everyone was clapping except you.
2900
02:41:32,720 --> 02:41:34,120
The thing is…
2901
02:41:37,320 --> 02:41:39,880
you should know
that my words are not mine.
2902
02:41:39,960 --> 02:41:42,560
I got cursed, remember?
2903
02:41:51,440 --> 02:41:55,120
Nothing will take it away
2904
02:41:58,400 --> 02:42:02,320
Itipiso bhagava araham…
2905
02:42:03,600 --> 02:42:04,840
I'm not myself.
2906
02:42:06,440 --> 02:42:08,120
Don't report me, okay?
2907
02:42:09,880 --> 02:42:10,920
The thing is,
2908
02:42:11,720 --> 02:42:14,400
in my whole life, I've never seen
2909
02:42:14,480 --> 02:42:16,720
such a display of solidarity.
2910
02:42:17,280 --> 02:42:20,280
Think about this.
When it's Uncle Tu's birthday,
2911
02:42:21,040 --> 02:42:24,800
it'll be on the Workpoint news,
on Facebook.
2912
02:42:24,880 --> 02:42:26,600
The comments are in solidarity.
2913
02:42:32,680 --> 02:42:35,360
I make fun of every administration.
2914
02:42:35,440 --> 02:42:39,240
Whether it be Yingluck, Abhisit, Taksin,
I make fun of all of them.
2915
02:42:39,320 --> 02:42:42,200
But I've never seen such solidarity.
2916
02:42:42,280 --> 02:42:46,920
So under his birthday post,
all the comments say one thing: FU.
2917
02:42:52,120 --> 02:42:54,080
Shit, I've never seen that before.
2918
02:42:56,760 --> 02:42:58,600
-Right?
-Right.
2919
02:42:58,680 --> 02:43:02,200
Everyone is telling him
to focus and understand,
2920
02:43:02,280 --> 02:43:05,680
focus and understand,
focus and understand.
2921
02:43:07,680 --> 02:43:08,840
Such solidarity.
2922
02:43:12,960 --> 02:43:16,240
So after this performance,
2923
02:43:16,320 --> 02:43:19,160
if I disappear from the newspapers,
2924
02:43:20,160 --> 02:43:25,080
the media or news, I'm saying right now
that I didn't enter monkhood.
2925
02:43:27,160 --> 02:43:30,440
Don't assume Udom decided to live
a solitary life as a monk.
2926
02:43:31,480 --> 02:43:33,800
I think you're the one who'll kidnap me.
2927
02:43:40,160 --> 02:43:43,240
Let's get back to the campaign.
2928
02:43:43,320 --> 02:43:47,720
We're done with people,
crazy people, nagas, and gossip.
2929
02:43:47,800 --> 02:43:49,120
Make-believe things.
2930
02:43:52,240 --> 02:43:53,680
Let's continue the campaign.
2931
02:43:54,920 --> 02:43:56,440
The car drives on.
2932
02:43:58,160 --> 02:44:01,200
This is an invitation
to all Thai citizens.
2933
02:44:02,320 --> 02:44:04,960
Together, let's protect the country
2934
02:44:05,880 --> 02:44:07,880
from moving forward.
2935
02:44:14,520 --> 02:44:17,280
Let's protect the country
from moving forward
2936
02:44:17,360 --> 02:44:19,040
by choosing Uncle Tu.
2937
02:44:19,800 --> 02:44:23,080
Uncle Tu is the best choice
2938
02:44:23,160 --> 02:44:26,560
for those without a choice.
2939
02:44:27,480 --> 02:44:30,920
Good night, everyone.
Thank you for coming. Love you all.
2940
02:44:31,640 --> 02:44:35,120
Love you all. Thank you.
Thank you all. Thank you.
2941
02:45:29,680 --> 02:45:31,440
You guys aren't going home?
2942
02:45:31,520 --> 02:45:32,520
No!
2943
02:45:33,240 --> 02:45:34,600
You're joking, right?
2944
02:45:36,840 --> 02:45:38,120
We want more!
2945
02:45:40,680 --> 02:45:42,120
What's going on?
2946
02:45:44,880 --> 02:45:46,120
We want more!
2947
02:45:51,680 --> 02:45:53,520
Fine. Just a bit longer.
2948
02:46:06,480 --> 02:46:07,480
Clothes off!
2949
02:46:10,960 --> 02:46:12,520
Let's stay till morning!
2950
02:46:14,160 --> 02:46:15,960
Mister soldier, sir,
2951
02:46:16,840 --> 02:46:19,200
you can go prepare the troops.
2952
02:46:21,040 --> 02:46:24,400
There's only one exit anyway.
I don't think I'll get out of this.
2953
02:46:26,240 --> 02:46:30,280
A stand-up comedy show
usually ends with laughter,
2954
02:46:30,360 --> 02:46:32,240
like what you saw.
2955
02:46:32,320 --> 02:46:37,760
But I think that I'm old enough
to end it differently this time.
2956
02:46:39,040 --> 02:46:41,000
I don't mean ending my life.
2957
02:46:42,800 --> 02:46:47,000
I have a lesson learned
that I want to share with you.
2958
02:46:47,880 --> 02:46:49,680
Ever since it occurred to me
2959
02:46:50,760 --> 02:46:53,760
that I don't have much time left on Earth,
2960
02:46:53,840 --> 02:46:56,000
it makes living life much easier.
2961
02:46:57,160 --> 02:46:59,520
I'm less nosy about others.
2962
02:47:00,520 --> 02:47:03,120
I have more time to be nosy about myself.
2963
02:47:03,960 --> 02:47:07,920
It made me realize what it is
2964
02:47:09,280 --> 02:47:11,120
that I really want to do,
2965
02:47:11,200 --> 02:47:16,640
and what it is that I just want
others see me do,
2966
02:47:16,720 --> 02:47:18,320
or be, that kind of thing.
2967
02:47:19,840 --> 02:47:24,440
The phrase, "This works for me,"
has helped me a lot.
2968
02:47:24,520 --> 02:47:29,520
This works for me.
2969
02:47:29,600 --> 02:47:34,360
Whatever is in or out, new or old,
open or closed,
2970
02:47:34,440 --> 02:47:39,400
here or there, cool or luxe,
it doesn't really matter to me.
2971
02:47:39,480 --> 02:47:43,160
It might be cool for others,
but it doesn't work for me.
2972
02:47:43,240 --> 02:47:45,880
Take those super cars
with gull-wing doors.
2973
02:47:46,720 --> 02:47:50,080
It's cool for others,
but it doesn't work for me.
2974
02:47:50,160 --> 02:47:54,280
It's hard for my mom to get in.
It's hard for me to get in.
2975
02:47:54,360 --> 02:47:56,880
My wife and kids
wouldn't be able to use it.
2976
02:47:56,960 --> 02:47:58,920
Where do I park at the market?
2977
02:47:59,640 --> 02:48:02,000
The wings would just hit
the merchants' umbrellas.
2978
02:48:03,560 --> 02:48:06,080
It just doesn't work for me.
2979
02:48:06,160 --> 02:48:08,640
Or those who want to show
gratitude to their moms
2980
02:48:08,720 --> 02:48:13,120
by plopping a wad of cash in front of her
and saying, this is gratitude.
2981
02:48:13,200 --> 02:48:17,840
It's a nice thing, but it doesn't work
for me. I'd rather wire it.
2982
02:48:20,640 --> 02:48:24,240
Or if we didn't have the funds,
we could give her a foot massage instead
2983
02:48:24,320 --> 02:48:27,360
while she watches Mic On Debt Off,
2984
02:48:27,440 --> 02:48:30,120
where Ryan has been the champ
for eternity.
2985
02:48:33,520 --> 02:48:35,880
Everyone has their own concepts
2986
02:48:35,960 --> 02:48:39,320
of convenience, happiness and success.
2987
02:48:39,400 --> 02:48:42,280
They are concepts
that fit well with their life.
2988
02:48:42,360 --> 02:48:45,160
We can't borrow and wear
other people's clothes.
2989
02:48:45,240 --> 02:48:49,680
Imagine if we borrowed
Ice Apitsada's outfit.
2990
02:48:50,720 --> 02:48:54,560
It's a bodysuit that requires oiling
before you can wear it.
2991
02:48:54,640 --> 02:48:59,360
It's cool for her, but try putting that
on yourself, you know?
2992
02:48:59,440 --> 02:49:03,240
It doesn't fit us. It doesn't.
We have things that work for us.
2993
02:49:04,040 --> 02:49:07,360
The problem with most people today
2994
02:49:07,440 --> 02:49:12,440
is that we adopt other people's ideas
of success, happiness and convenience.
2995
02:49:13,960 --> 02:49:17,280
Everyone wants a good life.
Everyone wants to become mega rich
2996
02:49:17,360 --> 02:49:21,920
or be a billionaire overnight,
like what those self-help books claim,
2997
02:49:22,000 --> 02:49:25,080
like what those life coaches teach you,
like what those podcasts say,
2998
02:49:25,160 --> 02:49:26,560
like how those YouTubers live.
2999
02:49:26,640 --> 02:49:29,480
They want us to be rich, mega rich.
Connect to the universe.
3000
02:49:29,560 --> 02:49:32,320
Unlock your mind. Manifest lots of money.
3001
02:49:32,400 --> 02:49:36,200
Ask the universe to send you a fortune
within 72 hours.
3002
02:49:36,280 --> 02:49:38,520
Is the universe that malleable?
3003
02:49:38,600 --> 02:49:41,920
Then get the universe to cure
your partner's gaming addiction first.
3004
02:49:42,840 --> 02:49:45,360
Get your children
to put their things away first.
3005
02:49:46,400 --> 02:49:50,160
If it's that easy, everyone would be rich.
Class wouldn't exist.
3006
02:49:50,240 --> 02:49:53,600
Who's going to drive taxis for us?
Who's going to operate our sky trains?
3007
02:49:53,680 --> 02:49:56,280
Who's going to make food
and serve it to us?
3008
02:49:56,360 --> 02:49:59,920
The world is made up of people
of all situations.
3009
02:50:00,000 --> 02:50:01,480
Wake up.
3010
02:50:03,280 --> 02:50:05,600
One percent of people in this world,
3011
02:50:05,680 --> 02:50:08,960
only one percent of people
in this country are mega rich.
3012
02:50:09,760 --> 02:50:12,040
Life is like a marathon.
3013
02:50:12,120 --> 02:50:15,920
Out of 10,000,
only one makes it to the finish line.
3014
02:50:16,000 --> 02:50:19,400
Never in a marathon have you seen
3015
02:50:19,480 --> 02:50:23,320
ten thousand people reach
the finish line together.
3016
02:50:23,400 --> 02:50:25,640
Wake up. It's not real.
3017
02:50:26,800 --> 02:50:28,080
That's the one percent.
3018
02:50:28,160 --> 02:50:30,560
Those rich people with good lives
3019
02:50:30,640 --> 02:50:33,120
who post pictures on Instagram,
those mega rich people?
3020
02:50:33,200 --> 02:50:35,440
Let them be rich. Be happy for them.
3021
02:50:35,520 --> 02:50:37,920
We don't need to wear their clothes.
3022
02:50:38,000 --> 02:50:40,200
So what if they're super rich? You know?
3023
02:50:40,280 --> 02:50:43,440
We might not be as rich,
but we're happy in our way.
3024
02:50:43,520 --> 02:50:47,600
We're rich in friendships,
rich in health, rich in laughter.
3025
02:50:50,920 --> 02:50:53,080
There are other ways to be rich.
3026
02:50:53,160 --> 02:50:56,240
But the one percent we're so envious of,
3027
02:50:56,320 --> 02:51:00,160
what if they're rich but lack friends,
lack good health,
3028
02:51:00,240 --> 02:51:04,480
lack laughter, lack friendships,
lack admiration?
3029
02:51:05,560 --> 02:51:08,040
I call that being poor.
3030
02:51:08,120 --> 02:51:09,600
We're richer.
3031
02:51:17,360 --> 02:51:20,880
Death is not scary. It's not scary at all.
3032
02:51:20,960 --> 02:51:27,040
What's scarier is being alive
but not being happy.
3033
02:51:29,160 --> 02:51:32,880
Not doing what's convenient for you.
Not doing what works for you.
3034
02:51:32,960 --> 02:51:35,640
Stuck doing something you don't love.
3035
02:51:37,520 --> 02:51:41,280
If you're not being who you are,
3036
02:51:41,360 --> 02:51:44,680
you're no different from a living corpse.
3037
02:51:53,760 --> 02:51:55,480
Remember this well.
3038
02:51:55,560 --> 02:51:57,720
This works for me.
3039
02:51:57,800 --> 02:52:01,120
Live life the way that works for you.
Good night, everyone.
3040
02:52:38,800 --> 02:52:43,800
Subtitle translation by: Pannapat
Tammasrisawat and Tanya Sritanyalucksana