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Downloaded from
YTS.MX

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Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.MX

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Well, Dani, the session is over.
How are you?

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Well, I'm good.
I'm actually feeling better.

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That's what I like to hear, Dani.
Onwards and upwards.

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-Yeah, see you next week. Thanks.
-See you next week.

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Dani, remember to send me the money!

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The money, Dani!

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ECHO
CENTER FOR PSYCHOLOGY

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DANI ROVIRA
IT'S WORTH IT

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So I've been on a shitty streak.

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Thank you very much for coming today.

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And you're in luck because today, here,

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we'll be talking about sadness.

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There will be
quite a few confessions tonight.

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The first confession I have to make

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is that, for the last few years,

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I've been seriously flirting
with sadness, okay?

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And after all these years,
have I learned anything? Yes.

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I've learned a lot.

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For starters, that we don't like sadness.

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We don't like feeling it,
and we don't like seeing it in others.

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And we don't know how to deal with it.
Not our own, and not anyone else's.

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Look, in all these years,

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just one person, literally one,

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has ever told me something
that actually stuck with me.

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I remember, one afternoon,
I was having coffee with a friend.

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I was feeling down.

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I was opening up,
telling him I couldn't take it anymore.

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Then suddenly, he says…

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I'm sharing all this
so you can use it in your own life.

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Suddenly, my friend says, "Dani, bro."

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"Don't be sad."

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I haven't called him since.

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We don't like sadness

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or any other unpleasant emotion,
obviously, right?

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But sadness is a bit worse
because it exposes us.

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Because when the sadness gets intense,

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we cry, and that exposes us.

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And it's true that, even today,

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crying in public
is still kind of a taboo, right?

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It shows vulnerability.

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And without even realizing it,

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we try to shut it down
in little kids, right?

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That whole, "Don't cry.
It makes you look ugly."

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The next time I hear someone say that
to a kid, I'll kick them in the chest.

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The adult, I mean.

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And when it comes to crying,

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even now it's still seen
as a gender thing, you know?

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Look, there's this famous quote
that's over 500 years old.

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Some of you have probably heard it.

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It was back when the Catholic Monarchs
were finishing the reconquest of Spain,

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and the last stronghold left
was the Kingdom of Granada.

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Remember that?

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Boabdil was there with his entourage.
They'd been under siege for a long time.

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Spoiler alert. It's history.
We know how it ends.

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But there came a moment when Boabdil
had to hand over the keys to the city.

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That had to be one of the toughest moments
for any historical figure we know.

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And at that moment, Boabdil's mother,

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not some in-law of her sister's cousin,

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but no, Boabdil's own mother tells him,

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"Cry like a woman
for what you couldn't defend like a man."

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Excuse me?

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Damn, you didn't hold back,
did you, Boabdila?

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What's past is prologue, right?

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I think it's safe to say
we've all felt sadness at some point,

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some more deeply, some more often.

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A while back, I started thinking about
if there was a time in my life

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when sadness really pushed
its way in, you know?

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Like in a way I couldn't ignore.

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And, yes, I do think
there was an exact moment

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around 11 years ago,

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the same time
that the movie Spanish Affair came out.

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Sound familiar? It does, doesn't it?

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I'd never done cinema before.
Not once in my life, okay?

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I was doing this kind of thing,
what you're seeing here,

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and out of nowhere,
the chance to do this movie came up.

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I did it, obviously.

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And just like that, overnight,
I became the lead

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in the highest-grossing film
in Spanish cinema history.

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And the way the industry's going,
I'll take that record to the grave.

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I don't know if I should laugh or cry,

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but facts are facts.

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I'm not sure how you all saw it,
like a big event or whatever,

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but I don't know if anybody thought about
what it was like for me.

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I mean, for me, it was a crazy few months

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when amazing things started to happen,

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and I had no idea how to deal with them.

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I went from never doing a film in my life
to suddenly getting bombarded

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with scripts and offers
from directors and producers.

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I was like, "This is crazy!"

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The demand for theater shows.

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I was already doing theater,
but the demand tripled.

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Like, "Dani, come do a show in Alicante!"
"Okay!"

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"Dani, come do a show in Barcelona!"
"Okay!"

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"Dani, come do a show in Murcia!"

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"Why Murcia?"
He says, "Good point." I didn't go.

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I mean, if I don't roast
the Murcian crowd a little,

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I'm not happy, and neither are they.

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Are there any Murcians here?
Actually, none of us care.

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You know how brands work, right?

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They throw a famous face on something…

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It works on me. I'm at home
and see an ad with a famous person,

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I run out in my underwear to buy it.

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So, of course, the brands would call me.
"Dani, our brand…"

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"Your face on our brand,
our brand on your face."

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I'm like, "I don't understand anything."

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Well, I started dating
the star of the movie.

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It was a beautiful love story.
I mean, it was great.

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On paper, from the outside, right?

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You can't even imagine
what that was like for me.

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But three or four months later,

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one morning, I wake up…

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Out of nowhere, I wake up one morning,

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and suddenly, I'm crying,
but full-on crying, like, "Oh shit."

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Like when you have to take a dump,
and you go, "Shit."

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I couldn't stop, and I didn't know why.

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Then all of a sudden,
my girlfriend at the time says

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one of the most sensible things
I've ever heard.

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"Hey, Dani, why don't you go to therapy?"

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And I said, "Okay, sure."

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It's weird when you think about it, right?
Those two lines almost never go together.

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"Why don't you try therapy?"
And someone just says, "Sure." No.

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What usually happens is,
"Why don't you try therapy?"

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"Therapy?!"

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"What, a shrink? The loony bin?
You think I'm crazy?"

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I say, "No, I'm not saying that."

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"Am I crazy?"
They say, "No, Dani, you're not."

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I say, "'Cause I've been going to therapy
for 11 years, bud."

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And let me tell you something, okay?

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I'm fucking tired of going to therapy
because of people who don't go to therapy.

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Just saying.

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Just saying.

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If you're dead set
against going to therapy,

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at least help pay for ours
since we're fixing our problems and yours.

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Anyway, I was recommended a therapist,

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the same one
I've been seeing for 11 years.

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I still see him. His name is Salvador.

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I'd never been to therapy before,
and suddenly, I find myself in this room

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with a guy with a very kind face
sitting in an armchair,

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another chair in front of him.

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I sit down, and he says,
"Dani, tell me what brought you here."

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At first, I didn't know what to say.

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But I started opening up to him,
talking non-stop.

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A full hour talking.

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That's not normal for me.

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And when the hour was up,
the guy stopped me and said,

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"Look, Dani, what I'm picking up from you
is a deep sadness."

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I was like, "Oh shit, sadness?"
I hadn't thought of that.

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I was thinking maybe frustration,
pressure, stress.

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No, sadness. I go, "What's up with that?"
"Dani, because two things are going on."

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"One, you're grieving."

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"And two, you don't know
that you're grieving."

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I go, "But I don't know
anyone who's died."

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And he says,
"No, it might not be literal."

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"It could be a metaphorical death
of something in your life."

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And suddenly,
I started to understand a lot of things.

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For example, we're not aware
of how precious certain things are

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because we already have them.

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We only miss them once they're gone.

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For example, I know
most of you have something

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you don't realize you have
'cause no one's ever taken it from you.

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Like arms, okay? Super obvious, right?

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You don't wake up every morning
and go, "Oh, thank God."

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"Another amazing Tuesday with arms."
No. I mean, we have them, right?

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But I'm talking about something
a bit more subtle, which is anonymity.

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You don't realize how valuable it is
until it's gone.

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It hit me when I started noticing

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that I could no longer do
certain everyday things,

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like picking up my nephews from school,

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or buy a sandwich and a beer
and head to the Málaga beach

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with a book, sit under an umbrella,
and just be left alone.

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That's gone now. It's over.

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You need to understand that, back then,
the moment I stepped outside,

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I was a rare Pokémon.

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It was wild. Well, 11 years have gone by.

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You might want to ask,
"Well, Dani, how are you?"

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And I'd say, "Better."

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Not "well." "Better."

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That's because, first off,
11 years have gone by,

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because over time, you pick up tools
to deal with whatever life throws at you.

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And the hype has died down.
I'm not as trendy as I used to be.

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And I couldn't be more grateful.

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Also, I spend a lot of time
at home these days, not gonna lie.

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Tonight, I'm gonna share a bunch of tools

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that helped me climb out of a rough place.

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I'll also give advice.
I like giving advice.

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Some people hate it.

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"People who give advice…"
Don't take it then. Great.

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Let me give you a piece of advice,
the first one of the day.

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If you're walking down the street
and see someone you truly admire,

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and I mean admire for real,

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not fake admiration just to snap a pic
to prove you have a big dick online,

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like not caring whether
it's Pepón Nieto or Ortega Smith.

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No, I mean true admiration, you know?

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If you see someone like this
on the street,

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my advice is

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leave them alone.

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Leave them alone.

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Just watch from a distance,
like you're on safari.

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In their habitat. See what they do.

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But leave them… Don't…

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Because you don't know
where that person's headed,

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where they're coming from,
or what they're dealing with.

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But if you still feel
that uncontrollable urge

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to interact with that person,

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here's another little tip.

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First, think very carefully
about what you're gonna say or do.

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Then execute.

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I mean, execute your plan, not kill them.

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Many things have happened over the years,
some of them more than once.

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I'll tell you a couple
so we can have a laugh,

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00:12:12,541 --> 00:12:14,208
but there's one that's a classic.

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Someone comes up to you and says,

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"Wow, it's Dani Rovira, bro!
Wow, bro, you're my fan!"

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Whatever you say, honey.

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Or the other version,

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"Wow, Dani Rovira, bro! I'm your idol!"

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00:12:29,375 --> 00:12:33,458
And I'm like, "Yeah, totally.
My bedroom's full of your posters… man."

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00:12:34,625 --> 00:12:37,458
"Fan" and "idol" aren't the same,
but they're not opposites.

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00:12:37,541 --> 00:12:41,958
Still, I get it. Words can be confusing,
especially if you're nervous.

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00:12:42,041 --> 00:12:43,833
It happens to me all the time.

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00:12:43,916 --> 00:12:46,541
It happens to me
with "tunnel" and "bridge."

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I know what a tunnel is, careful now.
I know what a bridge is, careful now.

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00:12:52,291 --> 00:12:55,416
But sometimes, when I'm talking,
I mix them up. I have to…

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00:12:56,041 --> 00:12:59,083
I said to my brother,
"How'd the tunnel go at the dentist?"

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00:12:59,166 --> 00:13:00,625
He said, "What tunnel, dumbass?"

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00:13:02,666 --> 00:13:05,541
Same with "backpack" and "suitcase,"
"shirt" and "T-shirt."

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00:13:05,625 --> 00:13:08,375
And then with English,
some words always mess me up.

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00:13:08,458 --> 00:13:10,750
I don't speak English,
but I can fake it a little.

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00:13:10,833 --> 00:13:13,625
But there are two words
that always make me stop and think.

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They are "after" and "before."

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00:13:18,833 --> 00:13:20,750
Because to us, "after" sounds like…

234
00:13:20,833 --> 00:13:23,750
"When was that?"
"It was 'after' yesterday." Like…

235
00:13:24,916 --> 00:13:28,583
And "before" sounds like it can wait.
"When's that for?" "That's for 'before.'"

236
00:13:28,666 --> 00:13:31,625
I feel like they're the ones
who are wrong, let me tell you.

237
00:13:39,916 --> 00:13:43,333
And then there'll be people who mix up…
I mean, everyone has their reasons.

238
00:13:43,416 --> 00:13:45,875
"I get the word 'dick'
confused with 'guacamole.'"

239
00:13:51,958 --> 00:13:53,125
That's great, Nacho.

240
00:13:56,583 --> 00:13:57,500
Anyway…

241
00:14:03,583 --> 00:14:07,583
Usually, when people run into me
on the street and approach me,

242
00:14:07,666 --> 00:14:09,500
I usually end up disappointing them.

243
00:14:09,583 --> 00:14:13,625
If it's just a quick interaction,
I disappoint them, just because.

244
00:14:13,708 --> 00:14:16,166
And a lot of people walk away
from that interaction

245
00:14:16,250 --> 00:14:17,625
thinking one of two things.

246
00:14:17,708 --> 00:14:19,708
Either that I'm rude

247
00:14:20,541 --> 00:14:22,541
or that I'm very shy.

248
00:14:24,500 --> 00:14:25,750
I'm not shy.

249
00:14:27,958 --> 00:14:29,083
I'm just discreet.

250
00:14:29,166 --> 00:14:31,916
On the street, you'll always see me
with my cap on,

251
00:14:32,000 --> 00:14:34,125
minding my own business,
with my headphones in,

252
00:14:34,208 --> 00:14:35,375
keeping my head down.

253
00:14:35,458 --> 00:14:38,541
If you leave me alone,
I'll leave you alone.

254
00:14:38,625 --> 00:14:40,916
It's something I don't… I mean, I'm not…

255
00:14:41,000 --> 00:14:43,708
It happened to me the other day
when I had a show in Burgos.

256
00:14:43,791 --> 00:14:45,416
Burgos, the city that never sleeps.

257
00:14:45,500 --> 00:14:47,583
My God, the streets were empty
at 4:00 p.m.

258
00:14:48,875 --> 00:14:50,333
I was like, "This is great."

259
00:14:50,416 --> 00:14:53,166
Suddenly, a guy on the other side
of the sidewalk yells,

260
00:14:53,250 --> 00:14:54,791
"A famous guy!"

261
00:14:54,875 --> 00:14:56,208
I'm like, "Seriously?"

262
00:14:57,375 --> 00:14:59,833
"If you're gonna call me out,
at least be specific."

263
00:14:59,916 --> 00:15:00,791
'"A famous guy.'"

264
00:15:00,875 --> 00:15:03,583
"I'm sure you're famous too
in your fucking living room."

265
00:15:11,500 --> 00:15:15,250
I don't know. At the very least,
you could say, "Good afternoon."

266
00:15:15,333 --> 00:15:17,625
Say, "Hello," "How are you,"
or at least a verb.

267
00:15:17,708 --> 00:15:19,125
Some people say, "Dani, photo!"

268
00:15:19,208 --> 00:15:22,541
It sounds like, "Dani, heads up!"
Like they threw something at me.

269
00:15:22,625 --> 00:15:23,708
Come on, man. Listen.

270
00:15:25,666 --> 00:15:27,750
I remember one time I was in an elevator.

271
00:15:27,833 --> 00:15:29,250
I think it was in a hotel.

272
00:15:29,333 --> 00:15:31,708
You press the button,
going up to a high floor,

273
00:15:31,791 --> 00:15:34,375
the doors start closing,
and you see someone approaching.

274
00:15:34,458 --> 00:15:36,791
That's when you do that classic,
"Oh, yes…"

275
00:15:36,875 --> 00:15:38,333
You don't want them to enter.

276
00:15:42,000 --> 00:15:43,625
You do that, "Oh, yes…"

277
00:15:43,708 --> 00:15:46,041
But you're not actually
pressing any buttons.

278
00:15:46,125 --> 00:15:47,166
"Ah…" What is this?

279
00:15:48,250 --> 00:15:50,333
This is fake. This is…

280
00:15:51,416 --> 00:15:52,291
"Ah…"

281
00:15:52,375 --> 00:15:54,750
It could be your mother
in a wheelchair. "Dani…"

282
00:15:54,833 --> 00:15:57,916
You go, "Yes, Mom. Ah…"
It closes. You go, "Fuck you, bitch."

283
00:15:58,000 --> 00:15:59,416
What's wrong? We don't want it.

284
00:16:00,041 --> 00:16:01,000
It's how we are.

285
00:16:03,750 --> 00:16:06,208
I don't know.
We just like to be alone in the elevator.

286
00:16:06,291 --> 00:16:09,666
Maybe to look in the mirror, take a photo,
adjust your nuts, whatever.

287
00:16:09,750 --> 00:16:12,875
Anyway, an old man walked in
with a white beard,

288
00:16:12,958 --> 00:16:16,791
white hair, wearing loose clothes,
very zen vibe, you know?

289
00:16:16,875 --> 00:16:18,375
I go, "What's this guy's deal?"

290
00:16:18,875 --> 00:16:20,291
Anyway, he hits the button.

291
00:16:20,375 --> 00:16:23,291
We stand there
in that classic awkward elevator silence.

292
00:16:23,375 --> 00:16:25,833
And he says, "Excuse me,
can I ask you a question?"

293
00:16:25,916 --> 00:16:28,958
I'm thinking, "You already did,
so technically this is your second."

294
00:16:30,250 --> 00:16:31,625
I go, "Yeah, of course."

295
00:16:31,708 --> 00:16:33,583
He stares at me,

296
00:16:35,166 --> 00:16:36,208
and he goes…

297
00:16:45,875 --> 00:16:46,875
"Is it you?"

298
00:16:54,333 --> 00:16:56,791
Damn, he said it so seriously,
I wasn't even sure.

299
00:16:58,083 --> 00:16:59,458
I looked in the mirror.

300
00:16:59,541 --> 00:17:02,250
"Am I wearing a Spider-Man suit
or something?"

301
00:17:02,791 --> 00:17:04,500
"Is it you?" asks the motherfucker.

302
00:17:05,250 --> 00:17:07,166
It reminds me of an interview with Estopa.

303
00:17:07,250 --> 00:17:10,166
One of them said he was walking,
and someone said,

304
00:17:10,250 --> 00:17:12,000
"Hey, is it you or your brother?"

305
00:17:14,750 --> 00:17:16,208
That's messed up.

306
00:17:24,958 --> 00:17:28,333
Look, from the pandemic up to now…

307
00:17:28,416 --> 00:17:30,500
Don't worry,
this is the first and last time

308
00:17:30,583 --> 00:17:35,000
I'll mention this global event
that flipped our lives upside down

309
00:17:35,083 --> 00:17:39,250
and left everyone with a few extra burdens
to carry in our backpacks,

310
00:17:39,333 --> 00:17:41,375
some more than others.

311
00:17:41,458 --> 00:17:45,500
In my case, my backpack's been
full of gremlins since that event.

312
00:17:45,583 --> 00:17:50,000
I've gone through quite a few losses,
more than I'd care to count, honestly.

313
00:17:50,083 --> 00:17:54,250
Some were harder to handle than others,
but losses all the same.

314
00:17:55,000 --> 00:18:00,541
So I want to share with you two losses
I've had to deal with over the years

315
00:18:00,625 --> 00:18:02,833
that hit me very hard,

316
00:18:02,916 --> 00:18:05,125
which was the loss of two great friends,

317
00:18:05,208 --> 00:18:08,291
who were basically like family to me,

318
00:18:08,375 --> 00:18:09,958
my life companions,

319
00:18:10,041 --> 00:18:12,958
my pups Bullo and Carapapa, okay?

320
00:18:13,041 --> 00:18:17,500
Also, one passed away
around eight months after the other.

321
00:18:17,583 --> 00:18:20,666
I was still recovering from the first
when the second one passed.

322
00:18:20,750 --> 00:18:21,875
It was like, "Wow."

323
00:18:21,958 --> 00:18:22,833
Well, I cried.

324
00:18:23,333 --> 00:18:24,250
I cried…

325
00:18:25,041 --> 00:18:26,708
I mean, I cried like a woman

326
00:18:28,500 --> 00:18:30,958
for what I couldn't defend
like a veterinarian.

327
00:18:32,791 --> 00:18:36,291
But, you know, it was a kind of crying
that made me go,

328
00:18:36,375 --> 00:18:39,208
"Damn, I've never cried like this before."

329
00:18:39,291 --> 00:18:42,708
And you know me.
I love giving names to things.

330
00:18:42,791 --> 00:18:47,583
It was the kind of crying
that made me call it "a clean cry."

331
00:18:48,166 --> 00:18:49,958
"A clean cry." I mean, I felt pain.

332
00:18:50,041 --> 00:18:53,250
I missed them. I felt sadness.
I even had that sobbing hiccup like…

333
00:18:53,333 --> 00:18:56,083
All of that. But it felt clean.
You know why?

334
00:18:57,208 --> 00:18:58,625
Because I didn't feel guilt.

335
00:18:59,833 --> 00:19:02,916
It's a relief. I didn't feel guilt.
They died at 12 years old.

336
00:19:03,000 --> 00:19:04,708
Could they have lived longer? Sure.

337
00:19:04,791 --> 00:19:07,125
Could they have died sooner? Absolutely.

338
00:19:07,208 --> 00:19:09,916
But we had a great time together.
I saved their lives.

339
00:19:10,000 --> 00:19:13,416
In a way, they saved mine as well.
I mean, it's all good.

340
00:19:13,500 --> 00:19:16,166
Also, my therapist Salvador always says,

341
00:19:16,250 --> 00:19:19,250
"Dani, crying is a way
to heal your mourning

342
00:19:19,333 --> 00:19:22,291
as well as a way to honor
what is no longer here, right?"

343
00:19:22,375 --> 00:19:26,083
"And when the tears turn into stories,
into laughter, into memories,

344
00:19:26,166 --> 00:19:27,291
you've got to keep going,

345
00:19:27,375 --> 00:19:30,500
because it's a way to honor
what is no longer here."

346
00:19:30,583 --> 00:19:31,875
So with that in mind,

347
00:19:31,958 --> 00:19:34,250
I'm gonna tell you a little story

348
00:19:34,333 --> 00:19:37,333
from the first weeks
when I first got my dog, Carapapa.

349
00:19:37,416 --> 00:19:39,958
I'd never had a dog before.
Total newbie. I had no clue.

350
00:19:40,041 --> 00:19:41,291
And suddenly, there I was,

351
00:19:41,375 --> 00:19:44,666
alone in my apartment
with this little furball,

352
00:19:44,750 --> 00:19:48,083
barely three kilos,
just three or four months old, a puppy.

353
00:19:48,166 --> 00:19:50,958
That first week, it was 24/7.
We were inseparable.

354
00:19:51,041 --> 00:19:54,125
I was like, "How does this work?"
She was like, "How does he work?"

355
00:19:54,208 --> 00:19:55,166
We were like…

356
00:19:55,250 --> 00:19:57,375
But at some point, you have to go to work.

357
00:19:57,458 --> 00:20:00,750
If you live alone, you gotta leave her
at home alone for a bit.

358
00:20:00,833 --> 00:20:03,000
The first few times, it's like, "Wow."

359
00:20:03,083 --> 00:20:05,041
I set up everything for her.

360
00:20:05,125 --> 00:20:08,916
Her bed, something for her to drink.
Water, of course. I don't give her Coke.

361
00:20:09,708 --> 00:20:11,041
I leave her some food.

362
00:20:11,125 --> 00:20:13,083
I make sure everything is safe. All good.

363
00:20:13,166 --> 00:20:16,375
And I head off to work,
but I'm a bit reluctant, you know?

364
00:20:17,000 --> 00:20:18,916
After six or seven hours,
I come back home,

365
00:20:19,000 --> 00:20:20,625
and the neighbor pops out and goes,

366
00:20:20,708 --> 00:20:25,291
"Dani, she's been crying all morning
and scratching the door with her paw."

367
00:20:25,375 --> 00:20:27,125
I'm like, "Oh no. Seriously…"

368
00:20:27,208 --> 00:20:30,791
I open the door and see two or three
puddles of pee, a little turd.

369
00:20:30,875 --> 00:20:33,666
The chair leg was all chewed up, like…

370
00:20:33,750 --> 00:20:37,000
And there she is, in the hallway,
looking super nervous, like…

371
00:20:37,083 --> 00:20:39,000
Peeing herself.
I go, "Oh, you poor thing."

372
00:20:39,083 --> 00:20:41,083
"Carapapa, come now, what's wrong?"

373
00:20:41,166 --> 00:20:43,500
"There we go.
Everything's okay. Don't worry."

374
00:20:43,583 --> 00:20:44,916
"You wanna go to therapy?"

375
00:20:47,166 --> 00:20:48,916
"Okay, then." Okay, right?

376
00:20:49,666 --> 00:20:50,541
Watch out.

377
00:20:52,250 --> 00:20:56,541
Anyway, I get a recommendation
for a dog trainer, an ethologist.

378
00:20:56,625 --> 00:20:59,416
And I talk to him
and explain what happened.

379
00:20:59,500 --> 00:21:01,666
And he says, "Look, Dani, don't worry."

380
00:21:01,750 --> 00:21:04,916
"That's completely normal,
especially with new pups."

381
00:21:05,000 --> 00:21:09,083
"What you're dealing with
is something called separation anxiety."

382
00:21:09,583 --> 00:21:10,916
And I'm like, "Wow!"

383
00:21:11,458 --> 00:21:13,125
And I ask, "What is that exactly?"

384
00:21:13,208 --> 00:21:14,541
And he says, "Well, basically,

385
00:21:14,625 --> 00:21:18,708
that means your dog
has separation anxiety."

386
00:21:21,708 --> 00:21:23,166
The definition's in the name.

387
00:21:25,250 --> 00:21:28,166
So I go,
"Okay, is there something I can do?"

388
00:21:28,250 --> 00:21:31,291
He goes, "Yes, there are a few methods.
They aren't too complicated."

389
00:21:31,375 --> 00:21:33,041
"You just need to be consistent."

390
00:21:33,125 --> 00:21:36,583
I tried a few,
but one in particular really helped.

391
00:21:36,666 --> 00:21:40,083
And I thought it was very touching,
so I want to share it with you.

392
00:21:40,625 --> 00:21:43,500
The guy said, "Look, Dani,
when you go out for a few hours,

393
00:21:43,583 --> 00:21:47,541
just leave her a piece of your clothing
that smells like you, okay?"

394
00:21:47,625 --> 00:21:51,208
As you know, dogs have a sense of smell
a thousand times sharper than ours.

395
00:21:51,291 --> 00:21:54,833
And their sense of smell
is also closely linked to their emotions,

396
00:21:54,916 --> 00:21:56,375
which is really special.

397
00:21:56,458 --> 00:22:00,000
We had that too, but we've lost it
trying to be so civilized.

398
00:22:00,083 --> 00:22:00,916
It sounded great.

399
00:22:01,000 --> 00:22:03,958
He says, "When you leave,
leave clothing that smells like you."

400
00:22:04,041 --> 00:22:07,791
"Dogs have their own
sort of magical thought process,

401
00:22:07,875 --> 00:22:10,625
and if they can smell someone

402
00:22:10,708 --> 00:22:13,916
who represents their friend,
their protector,

403
00:22:14,000 --> 00:22:17,208
their guardian, their family,
it helps them stay calm."

404
00:22:17,291 --> 00:22:19,916
I go, "Man, that's beautiful.
I'll give it a try."

405
00:22:20,000 --> 00:22:21,458
So before I head out to work,

406
00:22:21,541 --> 00:22:24,041
I go to my closet
where there's a pile of clothes,

407
00:22:24,125 --> 00:22:25,541
and I go like this…

408
00:22:25,625 --> 00:22:28,250
And I see a winter pajama top
from the Stone Age.

409
00:22:28,333 --> 00:22:31,458
I grab it, smell it, and go,
"Holy shit, it really smells like me!"

410
00:22:33,041 --> 00:22:35,166
"It smells more like me than I do. How?"

411
00:22:36,125 --> 00:22:40,000
So before I leave,
I move her bed out like this

412
00:22:40,083 --> 00:22:41,166
into the hallway,

413
00:22:41,250 --> 00:22:43,166
I take the pajama top,
I pick up the puppy.

414
00:22:43,250 --> 00:22:44,750
I set her down there, plop.

415
00:22:44,833 --> 00:22:48,208
She lays there peacefully
with her head on the pajama like this…

416
00:22:48,708 --> 00:22:49,666
She was super calm.

417
00:22:49,750 --> 00:22:50,958
I left her there thinking,

418
00:22:51,041 --> 00:22:53,916
"Man, this will either kill you
or make you stronger."

419
00:22:55,625 --> 00:22:58,583
So I left, thinking,
"Well, let's see if this works."

420
00:22:59,458 --> 00:23:03,000
I came back six or seven hours later.
You'll notice I never work eight.

421
00:23:04,833 --> 00:23:08,208
And the neighbor hasn't come out
to say anything yet.

422
00:23:08,291 --> 00:23:09,791
And I open the door.

423
00:23:10,291 --> 00:23:12,500
And I see the bed,

424
00:23:13,875 --> 00:23:14,916
the pajama top,

425
00:23:15,750 --> 00:23:17,250
but the dog wasn't there,

426
00:23:18,208 --> 00:23:20,250
which was my primary focus, obviously.

427
00:23:21,000 --> 00:23:23,750
And I stop, look around,
start listening closely,

428
00:23:23,833 --> 00:23:24,916
and I hear…

429
00:23:31,625 --> 00:23:34,541
I have a hallway here and a living room…

430
00:23:34,625 --> 00:23:37,583
Well, the living room.
It's not like I have 17 living rooms.

431
00:23:38,250 --> 00:23:39,333
I go over,

432
00:23:39,416 --> 00:23:42,000
and on the floor near the sofa, I see…

433
00:23:42,083 --> 00:23:43,958
Look, I keep a blanket on the sofa.

434
00:23:44,041 --> 00:23:46,833
It's that typical blanket
you use for a post-lunch nap.

435
00:23:46,916 --> 00:23:48,500
I'm Andalusian. What can I say?

436
00:23:50,875 --> 00:23:52,458
It must have been dangling down,

437
00:23:52,541 --> 00:23:55,458
and the dog must have used
her mouth or paw to drag it down.

438
00:23:55,541 --> 00:23:58,458
Anyway, I saw the blanket on the floor,

439
00:23:58,541 --> 00:23:59,833
all bunched up,

440
00:24:00,541 --> 00:24:02,500
and the dog fast asleep on top of it,

441
00:24:02,583 --> 00:24:04,000
comfy as can be.

442
00:24:04,083 --> 00:24:06,833
I said, "Of course,
the blanket smells like me."

443
00:24:06,916 --> 00:24:09,041
"The fucker self-medicated."

444
00:24:10,166 --> 00:24:11,083
Of course.

445
00:24:12,875 --> 00:24:14,791
And I said, "Well, as long as it worked…"

446
00:24:18,916 --> 00:24:22,166
I picked up the blanket, put it back
on the sofa, spent the day with her,

447
00:24:22,250 --> 00:24:23,750
and the pajama trick again
the next day.

448
00:24:23,833 --> 00:24:25,458
She did the blanket thing
three more times.

449
00:24:25,541 --> 00:24:27,833
The fourth time,
when I tried to put it back,

450
00:24:27,916 --> 00:24:30,291
she gave me a mob boss look
like Joe Pesci, and said,

451
00:24:30,375 --> 00:24:32,458
"This blanket is mine now, for good."
I went…

452
00:24:33,125 --> 00:24:35,583
And from then on, that blanket was hers.

453
00:24:35,666 --> 00:24:38,291
It stayed with her
for the rest of her life,

454
00:24:38,375 --> 00:24:40,041
until the very end.

455
00:24:40,666 --> 00:24:44,333
And by then, of course, it smelled
way more like her than it did like me.

456
00:24:44,416 --> 00:24:48,458
In case any of you have a new dog at home
who's having a hard time,

457
00:24:48,541 --> 00:24:50,250
first, call a professional.

458
00:24:50,333 --> 00:24:53,541
And you should know there are
some really helpful techniques out there.

459
00:24:54,041 --> 00:24:58,625
This is kind of a turning point
in the show, okay?

460
00:24:58,708 --> 00:25:00,208
You've been a great audience.

461
00:25:00,291 --> 00:25:02,416
You've been holding my hand
through all of this.

462
00:25:02,500 --> 00:25:06,250
So I want to thank you
by sharing a confession with you.

463
00:25:06,333 --> 00:25:10,458
And you know it's true because
this is the show that will be aired.

464
00:25:10,541 --> 00:25:12,958
I didn't release the other one.
The audience sucked.

465
00:25:14,208 --> 00:25:15,416
This one will be aired.

466
00:25:19,250 --> 00:25:20,166
That's the truth.

467
00:25:27,375 --> 00:25:30,041
When you find out I said the same thing
on the other show…

468
00:25:33,666 --> 00:25:36,500
I've got a confession for you.
A little gift for you, okay?

469
00:25:36,583 --> 00:25:37,458
Attention.

470
00:25:38,916 --> 00:25:40,208
I'm a big fan,

471
00:25:40,875 --> 00:25:43,791
and I mean a huge fan.

472
00:25:47,625 --> 00:25:49,375
Damn, I've got you hooked, don't I?

473
00:25:51,583 --> 00:25:54,541
You'd join a fucking cult
if I asked you to.

474
00:25:55,708 --> 00:25:57,291
Watch out. No, I'm kidding.

475
00:25:57,791 --> 00:25:59,000
Okay, here goes.

476
00:26:00,041 --> 00:26:02,666
I'm a huge, and I mean huge fan…

477
00:26:04,708 --> 00:26:05,750
of eating pussy.

478
00:26:09,208 --> 00:26:10,125
Huge fan.

479
00:26:12,708 --> 00:26:18,291
Eating pussy is probably
one of my top ten favorite things in life.

480
00:26:21,333 --> 00:26:24,250
Imagine if I just changed topics.
You'd go, "What's going on?"

481
00:26:24,333 --> 00:26:26,375
"He went from
talking about trauma to pussy."

482
00:26:26,458 --> 00:26:29,000
Don't worry. Take my hand.
Let's go to a safe place.

483
00:26:29,083 --> 00:26:30,333
Don't worry.

484
00:26:30,416 --> 00:26:31,333
Okay.

485
00:26:33,541 --> 00:26:35,916
Since I'm such a huge fan,

486
00:26:36,000 --> 00:26:38,166
whenever I get the chance,

487
00:26:38,250 --> 00:26:40,458
anytime the situation allows for it,

488
00:26:40,541 --> 00:26:42,500
I ask to do it, I make a request.

489
00:26:42,583 --> 00:26:45,500
Matthew 7:7, "Ask and you shall receive."
It's in the Bible.

490
00:26:47,166 --> 00:26:50,333
And look, for whatever reason,
in all these years,

491
00:26:50,416 --> 00:26:52,458
I think I'm just a very lucky person,

492
00:26:52,541 --> 00:26:56,250
I've been granted
the opportunity enough times

493
00:26:56,333 --> 00:27:00,416
to be able to say I'm a fucking rock star
when it comes to eating pussy.

494
00:27:00,500 --> 00:27:03,708
When it comes to eating pussy,
nobody's got anything on me, okay?

495
00:27:03,791 --> 00:27:05,666
Nobody.

496
00:27:05,750 --> 00:27:06,833
Okay.

497
00:27:08,541 --> 00:27:09,666
Having said that…

498
00:27:11,083 --> 00:27:12,541
Having said that,

499
00:27:13,083 --> 00:27:16,666
I'd like to offer you all
a little gift tonight.

500
00:27:24,416 --> 00:27:26,750
Your imagination really ran
with that one, huh?

501
00:27:29,916 --> 00:27:33,208
I'd have a six-pack on my tongue
by the end of the night.

502
00:27:33,916 --> 00:27:37,583
No. What I want to give you
are a few tips,

503
00:27:38,916 --> 00:27:40,083
some advice,

504
00:27:41,291 --> 00:27:42,916
so that, from now on,

505
00:27:43,000 --> 00:27:46,541
whenever you dive into
the beautiful act of cunnilingus,

506
00:27:46,625 --> 00:27:49,916
you can make it
a much more satisfying experience, okay?

507
00:27:50,500 --> 00:27:53,166
You might be thinking,
"Damn, Dani will give us advice

508
00:27:53,250 --> 00:27:54,750
on eating pussy better."

509
00:27:54,833 --> 00:27:55,708
No.

510
00:27:56,375 --> 00:27:58,375
No, that's not what this is about.

511
00:27:58,458 --> 00:28:01,166
My advice is

512
00:28:02,791 --> 00:28:05,833
for people who have a pussy
and let us eat them out.

513
00:28:07,500 --> 00:28:09,791
Just switching perspectives here. Okay.

514
00:28:10,583 --> 00:28:16,125
Having said that, before we jump in,
I feel like it's the perfect moment

515
00:28:16,208 --> 00:28:21,333
to begin with a brief bit
of genital anatomy context, okay?

516
00:28:21,416 --> 00:28:23,875
I think it's necessary.
You might say, "No, it's not."

517
00:28:23,958 --> 00:28:27,458
It's always necessary
to give a bit of context, okay?

518
00:28:27,541 --> 00:28:30,250
Excuse me if I get a bit technical, okay?

519
00:28:33,916 --> 00:28:35,125
What is a dick?

520
00:28:36,875 --> 00:28:39,625
I'm going to say "dick" and "pussy" a lot.
Excuse me.

521
00:28:39,708 --> 00:28:42,916
They're just three syllables,
just like any other repeated word.

522
00:28:43,000 --> 00:28:43,833
We're adults here.

523
00:28:43,916 --> 00:28:46,750
No need for euphemisms
if there's already a word for something.

524
00:28:46,833 --> 00:28:48,291
What is a dick?

525
00:28:48,375 --> 00:28:52,000
The dick is one of the human body's
anatomical-genital devices,

526
00:28:52,083 --> 00:28:54,083
located just below the pubic area.

527
00:28:54,166 --> 00:28:56,500
It's a part of the body
that sticks out, okay?

528
00:28:56,583 --> 00:28:59,625
Some stick out more,
and others you need a mirror for.

529
00:29:01,166 --> 00:29:02,000
Look.

530
00:29:09,125 --> 00:29:11,083
And since I love names and metaphors…

531
00:29:11,166 --> 00:29:12,625
Look, if I was a cathedral…

532
00:29:12,708 --> 00:29:14,666
Picture this. If I was a cathedral,

533
00:29:14,750 --> 00:29:16,791
it would be the gargoyle, okay?

534
00:29:17,500 --> 00:29:19,541
Cathedrals and gargoyles…
Plenty to go around.

535
00:29:19,625 --> 00:29:21,708
How many times
have you seen a huge cathedral,

536
00:29:21,791 --> 00:29:23,833
and the gargoyle ends up disappointing?

537
00:29:24,625 --> 00:29:26,666
Or maybe you see a little parish church,

538
00:29:26,750 --> 00:29:28,833
and the gargoyle
can't fit through the door.

539
00:29:28,916 --> 00:29:31,375
Or maybe you see a cathedral.
"Where's the gargoyle?"

540
00:29:31,458 --> 00:29:35,291
It has one, but since the cathedral
hasn't been well-kept and is overgrown,

541
00:29:35,375 --> 00:29:36,208
you can't see it.

542
00:29:36,291 --> 00:29:37,666
That needs to be trimmed.

543
00:29:37,750 --> 00:29:40,250
Or maybe the cathedral wall is so smooth

544
00:29:40,333 --> 00:29:42,208
that you can see the gargoyle
from Albacete.

545
00:29:42,291 --> 00:29:45,250
Some gargoyles have big heads.
Some gargoyles look sad.

546
00:29:45,333 --> 00:29:47,791
Some gargoyles tilt one way,
some the other way.

547
00:29:47,875 --> 00:29:50,416
Some gargoyles have lost their firmness
over the years.

548
00:29:50,500 --> 00:29:52,750
You've got the micro-gargoyle,
the pencil one…

549
00:29:52,833 --> 00:29:54,750
There are so many types of gargoyles.

550
00:29:55,250 --> 00:29:56,833
And all of them are beautiful.

551
00:29:56,916 --> 00:29:59,708
And all of them deserve
to feel pleasure, okay?

552
00:30:00,958 --> 00:30:02,000
Also, I think

553
00:30:03,000 --> 00:30:06,875
the dick is a much more
accessible body part, right?

554
00:30:06,958 --> 00:30:10,416
We wear clothes,
but if we walked around nude…

555
00:30:10,500 --> 00:30:13,500
Personally, I enjoy going to a nude beach
in the summer from time to time.

556
00:30:13,583 --> 00:30:16,916
I like the feeling of being naked.
"Which beach?" As if I'd tell you.

557
00:30:19,000 --> 00:30:21,291
I always go to this one beach
with a buddy of mine.

558
00:30:21,375 --> 00:30:23,250
He always shows up after I do.

559
00:30:23,333 --> 00:30:25,666
And he's already naked
when he steps out of his car.

560
00:30:26,500 --> 00:30:27,833
He's already naked, okay?

561
00:30:27,916 --> 00:30:30,250
That means I'm on the beach,
and I see him coming,

562
00:30:30,333 --> 00:30:32,291
and he's carrying a cooler, an umbrella,

563
00:30:32,375 --> 00:30:34,333
with a bag here…
I mean, his hands are full.

564
00:30:34,416 --> 00:30:37,666
So he walks up to me, says hello,
but doesn't put anything down.

565
00:30:39,708 --> 00:30:42,333
"What's up, Dani? How's it going?"
I mean, I'm like…

566
00:30:43,250 --> 00:30:46,208
I'm not gonna kiss him on the cheek.
I go, "How's it hanging?"

567
00:30:54,541 --> 00:30:57,208
Picture a modern monarchy,
but it's a nudist colony.

568
00:30:57,291 --> 00:31:00,541
You show up at a royal reception.
"Hi, how's it going? How are you?"

569
00:31:01,041 --> 00:31:03,250
"Good day, Your Majesty. How art thou?"

570
00:31:05,166 --> 00:31:06,250
Or in the metro.

571
00:31:06,333 --> 00:31:07,958
Imagine you're in the metro.

572
00:31:08,041 --> 00:31:09,958
Someone says to you, "Are you holding on?'

573
00:31:10,041 --> 00:31:12,250
You go, "Yeah."
"That makes two of us. Let's go."

574
00:31:12,750 --> 00:31:15,000
"Hit me with those sharp turns."
Am I right?

575
00:31:16,291 --> 00:31:17,333
Anyway…

576
00:31:18,583 --> 00:31:19,875
What is a pussy?

577
00:31:21,041 --> 00:31:24,833
The pussy is the human body's
other anatomical-genital device,

578
00:31:24,916 --> 00:31:26,958
but instead of being
at the lower pubic area,

579
00:31:27,041 --> 00:31:29,458
it's tucked away a bit lower down

580
00:31:29,541 --> 00:31:33,041
in an area I like to call
the Aragonese perineal region, okay?

581
00:31:34,500 --> 00:31:37,166
From the outside,
it's a little more modest,

582
00:31:37,250 --> 00:31:38,458
a bit more discreet.

583
00:31:38,541 --> 00:31:41,541
The pussy is more contained.

584
00:31:42,458 --> 00:31:43,333
Well…

585
00:31:47,875 --> 00:31:50,958
I've seen pussies that look like
a cold-cut sandwich made in a hurry.

586
00:31:52,708 --> 00:31:55,000
And all you get is
a mouth full of deli meat.

587
00:31:55,083 --> 00:31:56,916
A bit of bread wouldn't hurt.

588
00:31:57,000 --> 00:31:58,750
But all pussies are beautiful,

589
00:31:58,833 --> 00:32:01,666
and all of them deserve
to feel pleasure, okay?

590
00:32:04,125 --> 00:32:06,500
I would say, ergonomically,

591
00:32:07,083 --> 00:32:10,250
sucking a dick is a lot more accessible.

592
00:32:10,333 --> 00:32:12,250
I think there are more easy techniques.

593
00:32:12,333 --> 00:32:16,333
You don't have to be in perfect shape
to suck a dick without doing gymnastics.

594
00:32:16,416 --> 00:32:17,750
Here's someone with a dick.

595
00:32:17,833 --> 00:32:20,125
You say, "Hey." Good vibes.
"Can I suck your dick?"

596
00:32:20,208 --> 00:32:21,958
They go, "Sure, suck my dick." You go…

597
00:32:22,041 --> 00:32:23,583
You just bend down like this…

598
00:32:24,250 --> 00:32:27,000
You can do this or do this.
Even without your hands.

599
00:32:27,083 --> 00:32:29,541
If they're lying down, like this,
with or without hands.

600
00:32:29,625 --> 00:32:34,083
If they're standing facing the other way,
you can steer your ship around the back.

601
00:32:34,166 --> 00:32:36,375
I would think sucking a dick
is a lot more fun.

602
00:32:36,458 --> 00:32:38,666
I would think, right?
That's what I've heard.

603
00:32:41,250 --> 00:32:43,000
No, wait. Let me tell you something.

604
00:32:43,083 --> 00:32:45,916
I've been having so much fun lately
that I might come next year

605
00:32:46,000 --> 00:32:48,083
and tell you what it was like.

606
00:32:48,166 --> 00:32:49,041
Careful now.

607
00:32:49,125 --> 00:32:52,291
Don't let heterosexuality
stop you from having fun.

608
00:32:52,375 --> 00:32:54,541
We only live once. Careful now.

609
00:32:56,916 --> 00:32:58,791
If you suck a dick, it is what it is.

610
00:33:04,333 --> 00:33:05,291
However,

611
00:33:06,208 --> 00:33:10,333
eating a pussy, if the owner of said pussy
doesn't help you out a little,

612
00:33:10,416 --> 00:33:11,541
ergonomically,

613
00:33:11,625 --> 00:33:13,583
it's a bit more complicated.

614
00:33:13,666 --> 00:33:15,000
The same situation, right?

615
00:33:15,083 --> 00:33:17,833
You're with someone who has a pussy.
You're vibing.

616
00:33:17,916 --> 00:33:19,916
"Want me to eat your pussy?" "Go for it."

617
00:33:20,000 --> 00:33:23,500
And usually, the person goes like this.
"Okay, eat my pussy."

618
00:33:31,208 --> 00:33:32,583
And you're looking at them…

619
00:33:33,666 --> 00:33:35,916
You look at them,
and it makes you want to say,

620
00:33:36,000 --> 00:33:38,458
"It looks like Squidward fell
from the fifth floor."

621
00:33:39,583 --> 00:33:41,875
You kick them like this,
saying, "Hey, girl."

622
00:33:41,958 --> 00:33:45,333
You're not sure if you should
perform cunnilingus or call a coroner.

623
00:33:45,875 --> 00:33:47,458
Okay, whatever. She's no help.

624
00:33:47,541 --> 00:33:50,875
But since I enjoy doing it so much,
I'll do the work for the both of us.

625
00:33:50,958 --> 00:33:51,875
And then,

626
00:33:52,583 --> 00:33:56,458
the position itself is uncomfortable
from the get-go.

627
00:33:56,541 --> 00:33:57,583
Excuse me, guys.

628
00:33:57,666 --> 00:34:00,583
Suddenly, you're like this.
Take a look at…

629
00:34:03,083 --> 00:34:05,958
The position is awkward
because the person is… because…

630
00:34:08,250 --> 00:34:09,625
And since the lights are off,

631
00:34:09,708 --> 00:34:11,666
instead of poking around
to find everything,

632
00:34:11,750 --> 00:34:14,958
you start nudging around with your face.

633
00:34:15,041 --> 00:34:17,958
You're nudging around with your face…

634
00:34:18,041 --> 00:34:19,791
Picture a truffle hog, okay?

635
00:34:20,500 --> 00:34:22,458
Searching… You're in there…

636
00:34:22,541 --> 00:34:25,000
But the position is super awkward.

637
00:34:26,208 --> 00:34:28,500
It's super awkward,
and it makes you want to say,

638
00:34:28,583 --> 00:34:30,958
"Damn, help me out a bit.
Tuck in your tailbone."

639
00:34:31,458 --> 00:34:34,958
"Tilt your hips back a bit, you know?
Help me out with the angle, okay?"

640
00:34:35,041 --> 00:34:38,541
And on top of that, as soon as they feel
that first nice little tingle,

641
00:34:38,625 --> 00:34:40,583
what do they usually do? They go…

642
00:34:40,666 --> 00:34:42,750
And they turn
and contract it in even more.

643
00:34:43,250 --> 00:34:45,875
You're no longer a truffle hog.

644
00:34:45,958 --> 00:34:47,541
You've turned into an anteater.

645
00:34:48,500 --> 00:34:50,875
If they get up and leave
and somebody else comes in,

646
00:34:50,958 --> 00:34:53,416
they'll see a man drinking
from a puddle on the ground.

647
00:34:53,500 --> 00:34:54,416
"Hi."

648
00:34:55,375 --> 00:34:58,291
"Is there a drought here?" Anyway…
Let me tell you something.

649
00:34:58,375 --> 00:35:02,416
Human beings have something
called cervical vertebrae, all right?

650
00:35:03,750 --> 00:35:06,250
At a certain point, they stop extending.

651
00:35:07,125 --> 00:35:10,875
You'll be down there for 10, 15 minutes,
half an hour, whatever it takes!

652
00:35:13,833 --> 00:35:16,500
But when you're done, your neck is like…

653
00:35:17,916 --> 00:35:20,208
You end up with a full-on prolapse.

654
00:35:20,291 --> 00:35:22,958
"Did you like it?"
"Yes. What's wrong with your neck?"

655
00:35:23,041 --> 00:35:24,875
"I'm about to have a violin class."

656
00:35:24,958 --> 00:35:26,958
"Once you leave,
I'll just stick it in here."

657
00:35:27,041 --> 00:35:29,625
You can be like this for a week.
"What do I do now?"

658
00:35:30,458 --> 00:35:32,333
I'll go apartment hunting. Look.

659
00:35:32,833 --> 00:35:34,083
"For sale, fourth floor."

660
00:35:35,916 --> 00:35:38,666
While I have you here…

661
00:35:41,291 --> 00:35:42,291
For fuck's sake!

662
00:35:43,375 --> 00:35:44,375
Okay.

663
00:35:49,375 --> 00:35:50,333
Second tip.

664
00:35:51,375 --> 00:35:54,083
I know you've been complaining
your whole lives,

665
00:35:54,166 --> 00:35:55,625
and for good reason,

666
00:35:55,708 --> 00:35:58,208
that your partners
have always been self-centered,

667
00:35:58,291 --> 00:36:00,500
that they have always been selfish,

668
00:36:00,583 --> 00:36:02,916
that their pleasure
is more important than yours,

669
00:36:03,000 --> 00:36:05,291
that when they finish, it's all over.

670
00:36:05,375 --> 00:36:08,000
And you're right.
It's been that way for many years.

671
00:36:08,083 --> 00:36:10,875
But thankfully,
we're finally living in a time

672
00:36:10,958 --> 00:36:13,875
of progress, of equality,
of open-mindedness,

673
00:36:13,958 --> 00:36:16,291
of generosity in general.

674
00:36:16,375 --> 00:36:17,583
And that's really cool.

675
00:36:17,666 --> 00:36:20,458
If you'd have said "clitoris"
to me 25 years ago,

676
00:36:20,541 --> 00:36:22,208
I might have said, "Water Pokémon!"

677
00:36:25,041 --> 00:36:27,416
But now I can tell you,

678
00:36:27,500 --> 00:36:31,500
"Did you know that the clitoris
is the only organ in the human body

679
00:36:31,583 --> 00:36:35,833
that is exclusively designed
to receive pleasure?"

680
00:36:36,333 --> 00:36:37,166
-Damn!
-Yes!

681
00:36:37,250 --> 00:36:38,625
"Yes," she says. Of course.

682
00:36:40,333 --> 00:36:42,000
And she only has one hand raised.

683
00:36:44,500 --> 00:36:47,708
Shit, if that's how it is,
let's make the most of it, right?

684
00:36:47,791 --> 00:36:50,666
I mean, when you are about
to perform cunnilingus,

685
00:36:50,750 --> 00:36:51,833
a pussy buffet,

686
00:36:51,916 --> 00:36:54,750
the clitoris is always
right here for me, okay?

687
00:36:54,833 --> 00:36:56,833
I mean, not literally. Well, sometimes.

688
00:36:59,000 --> 00:37:03,291
But you need to find it, of course.

689
00:37:03,375 --> 00:37:04,500
It's not like you say…

690
00:37:04,583 --> 00:37:06,458
Look, if it's a familiar pussy…

691
00:37:06,541 --> 00:37:08,375
I mean, "familiar." Hold on.

692
00:37:11,833 --> 00:37:13,375
You're fam… I mean…

693
00:37:13,958 --> 00:37:16,666
Someone you're familiar with.
Fucking Spanish!

694
00:37:17,250 --> 00:37:20,416
I mean, you take the first few seconds
to get acquainted with the map.

695
00:37:20,500 --> 00:37:22,666
Every pussy is its own world.
Remember that.

696
00:37:24,333 --> 00:37:26,458
So you're all up in there, and suddenly…

697
00:37:26,541 --> 00:37:29,833
I'm not talking about finding the G-spot,
but you look for the clitoris.

698
00:37:29,916 --> 00:37:30,791
You look for…

699
00:37:30,875 --> 00:37:33,541
When you find it, you say, "That's it!"
No, that's not it.

700
00:37:33,625 --> 00:37:34,708
"That's it, then." No.

701
00:37:34,791 --> 00:37:37,416
You're not a cow licking a post.

702
00:37:38,000 --> 00:37:38,958
You have to be…

703
00:37:39,041 --> 00:37:42,625
It's not one-size-fits-all.
A bit over here, a little pressure here.

704
00:37:42,708 --> 00:37:45,000
You listen, observe. It's very magical.

705
00:37:45,083 --> 00:37:47,916
And after two or three minutes,
just when you've got it down,

706
00:37:48,000 --> 00:37:49,875
right when they start to get into it,

707
00:37:49,958 --> 00:37:51,375
they go, "Ay!"

708
00:37:51,458 --> 00:37:54,583
They go, "Uy!"
And they slide half a meter away from you.

709
00:37:54,666 --> 00:37:56,000
And you're there like…

710
00:37:57,708 --> 00:38:00,250
With a bridge hanging out of your mouth,
and you say,

711
00:38:01,083 --> 00:38:04,291
"Damn, I should've dropped a pin
or marked the location."

712
00:38:04,375 --> 00:38:07,208
It's like when you're reading Don Quijote
and you drop it,

713
00:38:07,291 --> 00:38:10,958
and you go, "I didn't leave a bookmark.
I have no fucking clue where I was."

714
00:38:12,166 --> 00:38:14,791
I understand if you enjoy it,
you might move around,

715
00:38:14,875 --> 00:38:16,708
but please, don't move.

716
00:38:16,791 --> 00:38:19,416
I started eating pussy over here,
and I ended up over here.

717
00:38:19,500 --> 00:38:23,500
I look like a Roomba looking
for its charging station. Please!

718
00:38:31,458 --> 00:38:32,333
Third tip.

719
00:38:32,833 --> 00:38:36,000
Don't say anything important
while we're down there.

720
00:38:38,750 --> 00:38:40,000
It's hard to hear.

721
00:38:42,125 --> 00:38:43,875
The message gets distorted.

722
00:38:46,041 --> 00:38:48,625
There've been plenty of mornings
when I've heard,

723
00:38:49,500 --> 00:38:51,041
"Hey, didn't you buy coffee?"

724
00:38:53,291 --> 00:38:55,208
"I didn't know we needed coffee."

725
00:38:55,750 --> 00:38:57,250
"I told you last night."

726
00:38:57,333 --> 00:38:58,541
"Last night, when?"

727
00:38:58,625 --> 00:39:01,083
"Last night when you were down there…"
I go, "Ah."

728
00:39:01,958 --> 00:39:04,750
"I heard lots of things.
I didn't understand any of them."

729
00:39:04,833 --> 00:39:07,416
I was down there,
and I heard something like…

730
00:39:09,541 --> 00:39:10,375
I was like…

731
00:39:14,875 --> 00:39:18,166
"I thought you'd gone crazy
and were singing a Maluma song."

732
00:39:19,208 --> 00:39:22,166
And finally, the fourth
and most important tip.

733
00:39:24,166 --> 00:39:27,958
It's not a fairy tale. It's not a fantasy.
It's not an urban legend.

734
00:39:28,041 --> 00:39:29,875
No. It's a reality.

735
00:39:29,958 --> 00:39:32,375
You can reach orgasm

736
00:39:32,875 --> 00:39:34,625
through cunnilingus.

737
00:39:34,708 --> 00:39:36,250
It's a beautiful thing.

738
00:39:36,333 --> 00:39:39,291
It's a goal
we should always be aiming for.

739
00:39:39,375 --> 00:39:41,375
It's the shit. I mean, come on.

740
00:39:41,958 --> 00:39:43,125
But let me tell you,

741
00:39:44,041 --> 00:39:45,166
if you ever

742
00:39:46,500 --> 00:39:49,791
reach orgasm through cunnilingus,

743
00:39:51,166 --> 00:39:52,791
please never forget…

744
00:39:55,875 --> 00:39:56,958
This is very serious.

745
00:39:58,625 --> 00:39:59,791
Never forget

746
00:40:01,416 --> 00:40:03,375
that what you have between your legs…

747
00:40:07,291 --> 00:40:08,625
is a human being

748
00:40:10,375 --> 00:40:12,791
who wants to continue to live their life.

749
00:40:14,833 --> 00:40:15,750
Please.

750
00:40:18,416 --> 00:40:21,666
Because I can understand
that when you realize there's something

751
00:40:21,750 --> 00:40:23,583
between your legs that gives you pleasure,

752
00:40:23,666 --> 00:40:27,083
your survival instinct kicks in
like a bear trap, and you go,

753
00:40:27,166 --> 00:40:29,666
"I want you all to myself
for the rest of my life."

754
00:40:29,750 --> 00:40:31,875
But keep in mind,
that person has feelings,

755
00:40:31,958 --> 00:40:36,541
and they need a certain level of oxygen
to get to their brain, okay?

756
00:40:36,625 --> 00:40:40,625
I've seen my life flash before my eyes
four or five times in these situations.

757
00:40:40,708 --> 00:40:42,208
I'm telling the truth.

758
00:40:44,041 --> 00:40:47,625
I won't eat a pussy
unless I have a jack holding up the bed.

759
00:40:52,458 --> 00:40:54,375
I've done it all. I've played dead.

760
00:40:54,458 --> 00:40:57,166
"Maybe if she sees dead prey,
she'll get bored and open up."

761
00:40:57,666 --> 00:40:59,166
I've rubbed Vaseline behind my ears

762
00:40:59,250 --> 00:41:03,208
like you do to the dumb kid so his head
won't get stuck in the banister.

763
00:41:03,291 --> 00:41:05,916
Once, I went… and stuck a melon in
so she wouldn't notice.

764
00:41:06,000 --> 00:41:08,416
And the melon went "boom!"
It could have been me!

765
00:41:10,041 --> 00:41:11,541
You've gone completely overboard

766
00:41:11,625 --> 00:41:15,250
with the Body Pump, with Pilates,
with CrossFit.

767
00:41:15,333 --> 00:41:16,208
Please!

768
00:41:16,750 --> 00:41:17,583
Please.

769
00:41:19,250 --> 00:41:20,083
Please.

770
00:41:22,541 --> 00:41:24,708
Don't bite the hand that feeds you.

771
00:41:27,708 --> 00:41:32,250
Okay, I am sharing these tips with you

772
00:41:32,333 --> 00:41:34,708
with the intention that, starting today,

773
00:41:34,791 --> 00:41:36,541
this city and whoever sees this

774
00:41:36,625 --> 00:41:40,208
can lead a more joyful life
when engaging in cunnilingus.

775
00:41:40,291 --> 00:41:42,541
I just want people to be happy.

776
00:41:42,625 --> 00:41:43,916
People are so angry.

777
00:41:45,625 --> 00:41:49,291
But I know there's always that group
who always has a "but."

778
00:41:49,375 --> 00:41:50,625
They go, "Okay, sure."

779
00:41:50,708 --> 00:41:55,458
"Advice for people who own a pussy.
But… what about people with dicks?"

780
00:41:55,541 --> 00:41:58,083
"When you get a blowjob,
you do everything you need to do?"

781
00:41:58,166 --> 00:42:01,458
I go, "Me? Excuse me,
but I definitely pull my weight."

782
00:42:02,208 --> 00:42:04,291
I really do pull my weight.

783
00:42:04,375 --> 00:42:07,416
Like what?
Things like availability, for example.

784
00:42:10,041 --> 00:42:11,416
I always agree to it.

785
00:42:11,500 --> 00:42:14,208
One time I didn't,
but it was during confession.

786
00:42:15,958 --> 00:42:16,916
And then…

787
00:42:21,291 --> 00:42:22,833
I have to say

788
00:42:22,916 --> 00:42:25,333
that over 90% of the times

789
00:42:25,416 --> 00:42:29,083
that someone has offered
to give me a blowjob,

790
00:42:29,166 --> 00:42:31,583
they usually have long hair, okay?

791
00:42:31,666 --> 00:42:34,666
And often, they don't tie their hair back.

792
00:42:34,750 --> 00:42:35,833
What happens then?

793
00:42:35,916 --> 00:42:39,500
As you watch them treat you
to that amazing pleasure,

794
00:42:39,583 --> 00:42:41,250
you see them down there like…

795
00:42:47,416 --> 00:42:49,875
Do you seriously watch them do that

796
00:42:50,750 --> 00:42:52,208
and not do anything about it?

797
00:42:52,958 --> 00:42:55,083
I always…

798
00:43:00,583 --> 00:43:01,500
And I…

799
00:43:04,083 --> 00:43:07,666
And I say, "You just focus
on the task at hand. I'll…"

800
00:43:07,750 --> 00:43:09,833
And I put it in a ponytail, of course.

801
00:43:09,916 --> 00:43:12,625
There have been times when they finish,
they look in the mirror,

802
00:43:12,708 --> 00:43:14,791
and they say, "Caribbean braids?"
And I go…

803
00:43:22,041 --> 00:43:24,458
"If you have more time tomorrow,
I'll dye it."

804
00:43:29,250 --> 00:43:31,708
One of the tools that has helped me

805
00:43:32,208 --> 00:43:35,250
to get through depression,
I'm not ashamed to admit it,

806
00:43:35,333 --> 00:43:37,166
is magical thinking, okay?

807
00:43:37,250 --> 00:43:41,416
I know a lot of people hear that and go,
"Dani, that stuff, magical thinking…"

808
00:43:41,500 --> 00:43:44,375
There are people
who don't believe in it or who… Look.

809
00:43:44,958 --> 00:43:48,541
Magical thinking exists, whether or not
we believe in it or know what it is.

810
00:43:48,625 --> 00:43:50,666
It has existed for hundreds of years.

811
00:43:50,750 --> 00:43:53,791
We've all done some type
of magical thinking without knowing.

812
00:43:53,875 --> 00:43:56,000
For example, it's your birthday.

813
00:43:56,541 --> 00:43:59,291
And you get a cake with candles.
The candles are lit.

814
00:43:59,375 --> 00:44:02,708
Your family and friends
are singing "Happy Birthday."

815
00:44:02,791 --> 00:44:05,208
And when the song is over,

816
00:44:05,291 --> 00:44:08,083
you go to blow out the candles,
and they all go, "No, wait!"

817
00:44:08,583 --> 00:44:09,583
"Make a wish."

818
00:44:10,791 --> 00:44:13,416
Even though you don't believe in it,
you go, "Okay, sure."

819
00:44:13,500 --> 00:44:15,833
You think, "They're so pushy.
I'll think of a wish."

820
00:44:15,916 --> 00:44:18,958
And while you're at it,
you think of a dope one.

821
00:44:19,041 --> 00:44:21,166
You think, "Just in case."

822
00:44:22,500 --> 00:44:23,708
That's magical thinking.

823
00:44:24,291 --> 00:44:26,666
Magical thinking is like, one afternoon,

824
00:44:26,750 --> 00:44:30,875
you've got some sort of challenge or event

825
00:44:30,958 --> 00:44:33,416
that has you a bit worried,
that's difficult,

826
00:44:33,500 --> 00:44:35,958
and, I don't know,
you have a dress or a shirt

827
00:44:36,041 --> 00:44:38,833
that you feel an emotional connection to
for whatever reason.

828
00:44:38,916 --> 00:44:41,125
It gives you good luck,
good vibes, good energy.

829
00:44:41,208 --> 00:44:44,958
And you say, "I'll put on this dress today
because it will help me deal with that."

830
00:44:45,041 --> 00:44:46,541
That's magical thinking.

831
00:44:46,625 --> 00:44:49,958
Magical thinking is when you're at home
drinking your morning coffee,

832
00:44:50,041 --> 00:44:51,125
and you feel like shit,

833
00:44:51,208 --> 00:44:53,708
and your mug has
one of those corny little phrases

834
00:44:53,791 --> 00:44:55,500
everyone always rolls their eyes at.

835
00:44:55,583 --> 00:44:59,875
But if that corny little phrase helps you
step outside feeling a little better,

836
00:44:59,958 --> 00:45:01,208
that's magical thinking.

837
00:45:01,291 --> 00:45:03,416
And it's real because it helps you.

838
00:45:03,500 --> 00:45:06,083
If it helps you,
use whatever magical thinking you want.

839
00:45:06,166 --> 00:45:08,833
For example,
I have always used magical thinking.

840
00:45:08,916 --> 00:45:11,250
But during this rough patch,
I've used it even more.

841
00:45:11,333 --> 00:45:13,083
I've used it a lot more.

842
00:45:13,166 --> 00:45:14,833
For example, when I'm exercising.

843
00:45:14,916 --> 00:45:17,750
I love exercising, training.
I studied sports science.

844
00:45:17,833 --> 00:45:19,750
But the truth is, during that time,

845
00:45:19,833 --> 00:45:25,000
since your brain's chemistry is off,
your whole body feels it.

846
00:45:25,083 --> 00:45:26,791
You can't perform. You feel awful.

847
00:45:26,875 --> 00:45:29,333
The sadness just shuts you down.

848
00:45:29,416 --> 00:45:31,416
I would go running at Retiro Park,

849
00:45:31,500 --> 00:45:34,458
and one day, a mime passed me.
I said, "That's sad!"

850
00:45:35,041 --> 00:45:35,916
"That's sad."

851
00:45:36,416 --> 00:45:39,375
I really enjoy running
down the Madrid Río, right?

852
00:45:39,458 --> 00:45:42,625
And I remember, one day, I was running.
I had run a kilometer.

853
00:45:42,708 --> 00:45:44,958
And I was like,
"Man, I can't run anymore."

854
00:45:45,041 --> 00:45:47,833
I wanted to cry. I had nothing left.

855
00:45:47,916 --> 00:45:48,791
I went…

856
00:45:48,875 --> 00:45:51,875
I went, "Dani, come on, man.
Do some magical thinking."

857
00:45:51,958 --> 00:45:53,166
I was like, "Come on."

858
00:45:53,250 --> 00:45:55,541
And I looked ahead down the path,

859
00:45:55,625 --> 00:45:57,083
and about 500 meters away,

860
00:45:57,583 --> 00:45:59,250
there was a tunnel, okay?

861
00:45:59,333 --> 00:46:00,750
Or a bridge, I don't know.

862
00:46:02,666 --> 00:46:04,416
It was about 500 meters away.

863
00:46:04,500 --> 00:46:05,750
And I said to myself,

864
00:46:06,333 --> 00:46:07,875
"Okay, if I make it there

865
00:46:08,583 --> 00:46:10,916
in the next two and a half minutes…"

866
00:46:12,250 --> 00:46:13,791
I made it up on the spot.

867
00:46:13,875 --> 00:46:14,791
I said,

868
00:46:15,583 --> 00:46:17,208
"My parents will be freed,

869
00:46:18,291 --> 00:46:20,208
who have been kidnapped

870
00:46:21,791 --> 00:46:22,875
in Colombia

871
00:46:24,500 --> 00:46:26,958
by a drug cartel."

872
00:46:28,291 --> 00:46:29,250
It's not true,

873
00:46:29,791 --> 00:46:31,458
but I believed it.

874
00:46:31,541 --> 00:46:34,958
You should've seen me
running down the Madrid Río that day.

875
00:46:35,041 --> 00:46:36,291
I was like,

876
00:46:36,375 --> 00:46:39,375
"My parents!"

877
00:46:39,458 --> 00:46:41,666
I reach the bridge. Boom!
Two and a half minutes.

878
00:46:41,750 --> 00:46:43,833
Does magical thinking work or not?

879
00:46:44,625 --> 00:46:47,375
I made it.
I mean, it wasn't actually true.

880
00:46:47,458 --> 00:46:48,875
Obviously, I made it up.

881
00:46:48,958 --> 00:46:51,125
My parents are still
being held hostage, I mean.

882
00:47:02,000 --> 00:47:04,083
I'm going to ask you for a little favor.

883
00:47:04,875 --> 00:47:08,458
Raise your hand
if you have a significant other.

884
00:47:08,541 --> 00:47:11,541
You don't have to be with them here,
but if you have one.

885
00:47:11,625 --> 00:47:15,000
Don't worry. We won't get personal.
I just want to get a picture of…

886
00:47:15,083 --> 00:47:17,166
Raise your hand
if you have a significant other.

887
00:47:18,166 --> 00:47:19,041
Okay.

888
00:47:19,125 --> 00:47:22,291
Yeah, it's usually around half of you,
maybe a few more, maybe less.

889
00:47:22,375 --> 00:47:23,708
There's strange behavior.

890
00:47:24,208 --> 00:47:26,500
Okay, thanks.
Sometimes someone raises their hand,

891
00:47:26,583 --> 00:47:28,416
they look over, "What?" "Oh, we're not…"

892
00:47:30,500 --> 00:47:31,500
A type of limbo.

893
00:47:31,583 --> 00:47:35,166
If that's the case, I'll add an asterisk,
"See 'wants to date me.'"

894
00:47:35,250 --> 00:47:36,458
That clears things up.

895
00:47:38,875 --> 00:47:40,916
I'm going to tell you
an uncomfortable truth.

896
00:47:41,833 --> 00:47:44,000
And this is the only absolute truth

897
00:47:44,583 --> 00:47:45,916
I will share tonight.

898
00:47:47,500 --> 00:47:49,625
All couples lie to each other.

899
00:47:51,750 --> 00:47:52,625
All of them.

900
00:47:54,125 --> 00:47:55,666
Does anyone disagree?

901
00:48:00,083 --> 00:48:00,958
Okay.

902
00:48:01,916 --> 00:48:05,875
But look, I'm going to park
that thought for now. Okay?

903
00:48:06,541 --> 00:48:09,291
I'm gonna be like one of those chefs
you see on TV.

904
00:48:09,375 --> 00:48:10,625
They're mixing a sauce and say,

905
00:48:10,708 --> 00:48:14,000
"And we will set this sauce aside
for later…"

906
00:48:15,750 --> 00:48:16,750
It's over there, okay?

907
00:48:16,833 --> 00:48:18,458
I won't forget. It's over there.

908
00:48:19,208 --> 00:48:22,916
Okay, I have another tool
I want to share with you.

909
00:48:23,916 --> 00:48:24,958
Meditation.

910
00:48:25,041 --> 00:48:27,083
Meditation has really helped me.

911
00:48:27,166 --> 00:48:31,583
Some people hear "meditation" and say,
"Dani, that whole meditation thing…"

912
00:48:32,083 --> 00:48:33,416
"That's for yogis, right?"

913
00:48:33,500 --> 00:48:35,833
"Those spiritual people
who get in weird poses."

914
00:48:35,916 --> 00:48:37,041
No.

915
00:48:37,125 --> 00:48:38,458
Anyone can meditate.

916
00:48:38,541 --> 00:48:39,791
I meditate, so…

917
00:48:39,875 --> 00:48:42,625
I even have an app on my phone
that has guided meditations.

918
00:48:42,708 --> 00:48:44,708
And that's it. It's not complicated.

919
00:48:44,791 --> 00:48:45,958
You just have to do it.

920
00:48:46,041 --> 00:48:48,208
How can I explain

921
00:48:48,291 --> 00:48:51,541
what meditation means to me
in just a few words?

922
00:48:51,625 --> 00:48:52,458
To me.

923
00:48:52,958 --> 00:48:56,291
For me, meditating is about deciding to…

924
00:48:56,375 --> 00:48:59,083
setting aside five, ten,
maybe fifteen minutes a day,

925
00:48:59,166 --> 00:49:00,375
no need for more,

926
00:49:00,458 --> 00:49:04,541
where you choose
to focus completely on yourself

927
00:49:04,625 --> 00:49:08,000
and turn down the noise outside

928
00:49:08,500 --> 00:49:10,666
so you can face the noise inside,

929
00:49:10,750 --> 00:49:13,375
which can sometimes be even louder, right?

930
00:49:13,875 --> 00:49:16,958
And during that time
that you focus on yourself,

931
00:49:17,500 --> 00:49:19,625
the exercise is basically about

932
00:49:20,625 --> 00:49:23,416
becoming aware of yourself,
of the here and now, right?

933
00:49:23,500 --> 00:49:26,833
Trying not to let your mind
wander off to anything else.

934
00:49:27,875 --> 00:49:31,750
Just your body, the room, your posture.

935
00:49:31,833 --> 00:49:34,000
There are anchors that help with that,

936
00:49:34,083 --> 00:49:35,833
like breathing, for example.

937
00:49:35,916 --> 00:49:39,708
If you stay focused on your breath
during meditation,

938
00:49:39,791 --> 00:49:43,750
what could be more here and now
than your own breathing, right?

939
00:49:43,833 --> 00:49:46,250
And… look, I'm gonna give you
a quick demo,

940
00:49:46,750 --> 00:49:51,083
a little slice of what meditation
looks like in my daily life, okay?

941
00:49:51,166 --> 00:49:54,625
What you're about to hear
is basically my internal monologue,

942
00:49:54,708 --> 00:49:57,625
like my thoughts spoken out loud, okay?

943
00:49:57,708 --> 00:49:59,000
It starts with a gong,

944
00:49:59,083 --> 00:50:00,500
ends with another gong,

945
00:50:00,583 --> 00:50:05,000
and the posture should be
comfortable but upright, okay?

946
00:50:06,083 --> 00:50:09,250
You can sit on the floor with a cushion
or in a chair…

947
00:50:09,333 --> 00:50:12,333
It doesn't have to be too crazy.
It goes something like this.

948
00:50:22,416 --> 00:50:24,583
Well, let's see how the day goes.

949
00:50:25,916 --> 00:50:28,333
Let's start with the breathing. Okay.

950
00:50:29,333 --> 00:50:30,166
Let's go.

951
00:50:30,666 --> 00:50:31,625
Breathe.

952
00:50:32,583 --> 00:50:33,916
Inspire.

953
00:50:36,958 --> 00:50:38,083
Expire.

954
00:50:39,958 --> 00:50:41,458
Inspire.

955
00:50:41,541 --> 00:50:42,833
Inspire.

956
00:50:43,375 --> 00:50:44,750
To inspire is like…

957
00:50:45,250 --> 00:50:47,375
like when you have an idea,
it inspires you.

958
00:50:47,458 --> 00:50:50,708
Yeah, that's a good one.
You breathe in, and it inspires you.

959
00:50:50,791 --> 00:50:53,166
And expire… Oh shit, expire means to die.

960
00:50:53,250 --> 00:50:54,833
You have an idea, then you die.

961
00:50:55,416 --> 00:50:57,083
Okay, I'm losing focus. Come on.

962
00:50:57,166 --> 00:51:00,375
Come on. Concentrate, Dani.
Focus on your breathing.

963
00:51:00,875 --> 00:51:01,708
I have an idea.

964
00:51:01,791 --> 00:51:06,458
I'll follow the airflow as it travels
through my respiratory system.

965
00:51:06,541 --> 00:51:07,416
Let's see.

966
00:51:08,625 --> 00:51:11,458
Air enters through my nostrils.

967
00:51:12,583 --> 00:51:14,083
Then it travels to…

968
00:51:17,791 --> 00:51:18,666
What's it called?

969
00:51:19,166 --> 00:51:21,375
Was it the larynx? No, what's it called?

970
00:51:21,458 --> 00:51:23,000
The pharynx, right?

971
00:51:24,041 --> 00:51:26,541
The trachea! Damn, that's it. The trachea.

972
00:51:27,083 --> 00:51:29,875
Damn, people who do tracheotomies,
now they've got balls.

973
00:51:30,500 --> 00:51:33,541
They perform a tracheotomy with a pen.
Damn, that's crazy.

974
00:51:33,625 --> 00:51:35,750
Okay, I lost focus again. Come on.

975
00:51:35,833 --> 00:51:36,916
Let's go.

976
00:51:37,000 --> 00:51:37,875
Here I go.

977
00:51:38,375 --> 00:51:40,666
Okay. I breathe in through my nose.

978
00:51:40,750 --> 00:51:44,958
They say you should breathe in your nose
because there are little hairs in there

979
00:51:45,041 --> 00:51:48,208
that trap all the dust and bacteria.

980
00:51:50,125 --> 00:51:54,000
Damn, dude, I've been sprouting
nose hairs for years now!

981
00:51:54,083 --> 00:51:55,291
I'm like, "What's this?"

982
00:51:56,166 --> 00:51:59,583
I'm also sprouting hairs on my ears.
Dude, sometimes…

983
00:51:59,666 --> 00:52:03,125
Sometimes I look in the mirror and say,
"Holy shit, I look like a lynx, man."

984
00:52:03,625 --> 00:52:05,583
Okay, come on. Let's go.

985
00:52:05,666 --> 00:52:06,958
I'll focus now. Come on.

986
00:52:08,583 --> 00:52:09,500
Okay.

987
00:52:10,916 --> 00:52:12,208
Inspire.

988
00:52:15,083 --> 00:52:18,083
Man, why do they import
all the avocadoes from New Zealand?

989
00:52:29,291 --> 00:52:30,291
That's how it is.

990
00:52:32,291 --> 00:52:33,291
That's how it is.

991
00:52:35,041 --> 00:52:37,708
Your mind constantly wanders off.

992
00:52:37,791 --> 00:52:40,625
I don't even see it as a battle.
It's more like a dance.

993
00:52:40,708 --> 00:52:43,416
When you realize
that your mind has wandered off,

994
00:52:43,500 --> 00:52:45,750
you just come back and focus again.

995
00:52:45,833 --> 00:52:49,958
There's no such thing as bad meditation.
You should try it, really. It's awesome.

996
00:52:59,333 --> 00:53:02,208
All couples lie to each other.

997
00:53:03,583 --> 00:53:04,458
All of them.

998
00:53:05,416 --> 00:53:06,333
He lies to her.

999
00:53:06,875 --> 00:53:07,916
She lies to him.

1000
00:53:08,583 --> 00:53:09,500
He lies to him.

1001
00:53:10,041 --> 00:53:10,958
She lies to her.

1002
00:53:11,458 --> 00:53:12,666
They lie to them.

1003
00:53:12,750 --> 00:53:13,875
Bro to bro.

1004
00:53:13,958 --> 00:53:15,791
Olé, olé. Aioli.

1005
00:53:16,708 --> 00:53:19,208
All of them. There are no exceptions.

1006
00:53:23,625 --> 00:53:26,708
Because in every relationship,

1007
00:53:26,791 --> 00:53:30,958
at some point,
maybe during an intimate moment,

1008
00:53:31,041 --> 00:53:34,250
when one partner
turns to the other and says,

1009
00:53:35,083 --> 00:53:36,041
"Honey,

1010
00:53:38,000 --> 00:53:39,458
what are you thinking about?"

1011
00:53:44,541 --> 00:53:48,125
And 99.9% of the time,

1012
00:53:48,208 --> 00:53:49,750
the answer is…

1013
00:53:50,250 --> 00:53:51,333
Nothing.

1014
00:53:51,416 --> 00:53:52,291
"Nothing."

1015
00:53:53,416 --> 00:53:54,333
"Nothing."

1016
00:53:56,333 --> 00:53:57,250
"Nothing."

1017
00:53:59,333 --> 00:54:00,250
"Nothing."

1018
00:54:01,500 --> 00:54:02,916
Go eat a dick.

1019
00:54:05,000 --> 00:54:07,625
So you're telling me,

1020
00:54:07,708 --> 00:54:10,041
someone who's been meditating
for 11 years,

1021
00:54:10,125 --> 00:54:11,166
11 years,

1022
00:54:11,250 --> 00:54:13,958
hundreds and hundreds
of hours of meditation,

1023
00:54:14,041 --> 00:54:16,166
and if someone asked me,
"How much of that time

1024
00:54:16,250 --> 00:54:18,666
was your mind actually blank?"

1025
00:54:18,750 --> 00:54:21,250
I'd say, "Maybe for two or three seconds
in my life."

1026
00:54:21,750 --> 00:54:25,375
And honestly, those seconds were probably
right before I let out a little fart.

1027
00:54:25,458 --> 00:54:27,333
When you fart, your mind is like…

1028
00:54:27,416 --> 00:54:29,833
So now you're telling me,

1029
00:54:29,916 --> 00:54:32,041
you stupid lowlife,

1030
00:54:32,125 --> 00:54:34,458
that when someone asks you,
your mind is blank?

1031
00:54:34,541 --> 00:54:37,916
Yeah, sure. Who are you now,
Siddhārtha Gautama?

1032
00:54:38,583 --> 00:54:41,750
Who are you, Krishnamurti?

1033
00:54:41,833 --> 00:54:43,875
Who are you, Mahatma Gandhi?

1034
00:54:43,958 --> 00:54:45,625
Who are you, Buddha?

1035
00:54:45,708 --> 00:54:47,416
Who are you, Shiva?

1036
00:54:47,500 --> 00:54:50,541
You're a liar as big as a fire truck.

1037
00:54:51,333 --> 00:54:53,541
Say it! Say what you're thinking.

1038
00:54:53,625 --> 00:54:57,416
It doesn't mean we don't say it because
we're constantly having bad thoughts.

1039
00:54:57,500 --> 00:54:59,083
Like, "What are you thinking, honey?"

1040
00:54:59,166 --> 00:55:01,708
"I was thinking about
having an orgy with 50 people

1041
00:55:01,791 --> 00:55:04,791
while your mother
was watching and touching…" No!

1042
00:55:04,875 --> 00:55:07,333
I'm not saying that, but maybe,
"What are you thinking?"

1043
00:55:07,416 --> 00:55:09,583
And you say, "Like I'd tell you!"

1044
00:55:10,125 --> 00:55:12,083
You're in la-la land. "Like I'd tell you!"

1045
00:55:12,583 --> 00:55:16,416
"I was imagining I was four meters tall,
and I was at the beach."

1046
00:55:16,500 --> 00:55:20,000
"My legs were éclairs,
and I had a giant lollipop with spikes,

1047
00:55:20,083 --> 00:55:22,583
and I was battling
a giant evil sponge cake

1048
00:55:22,666 --> 00:55:24,583
who wanted to destroy the planet."

1049
00:55:26,166 --> 00:55:27,375
"What do you think?"

1050
00:55:28,500 --> 00:55:30,708
Say it. Let's see if you can.

1051
00:55:31,541 --> 00:55:32,708
And let me tell you,

1052
00:55:34,125 --> 00:55:35,791
if you tell that to your partner

1053
00:55:37,958 --> 00:55:39,916
and they decide to stay with you,

1054
00:55:41,833 --> 00:55:43,166
they're your soulmate.

1055
00:55:44,083 --> 00:55:45,208
They're your soulmate.

1056
00:55:51,958 --> 00:55:53,250
But let me also tell you,

1057
00:55:54,083 --> 00:55:56,333
it's a perfectly legit option

1058
00:55:56,416 --> 00:55:59,750
if your partner asks what you're thinking

1059
00:55:59,833 --> 00:56:02,916
to say, "Look, honey,
right now I don't think it's appropriate

1060
00:56:03,000 --> 00:56:07,416
to share what I'm thinking
because my thoughts are private."

1061
00:56:14,083 --> 00:56:16,541
I think the sponge cake story
is less risky.

1062
00:56:19,000 --> 00:56:23,833
I encourage you to ask each other randomly
and then tell the truth.

1063
00:56:23,916 --> 00:56:25,333
You're really in for it.

1064
00:56:28,208 --> 00:56:32,833
I think we're living in a time,
a good social moment,

1065
00:56:32,916 --> 00:56:35,583
where there's more focus, more empathy,

1066
00:56:35,666 --> 00:56:38,791
more kindness, more value given,
however you want to say it,

1067
00:56:38,875 --> 00:56:43,916
when it comes to mental health,
or the lack of it, right?

1068
00:56:44,000 --> 00:56:48,291
These days, we already know
about certain illnesses and disorders.

1069
00:56:48,375 --> 00:56:51,333
And just giving things a name
makes them real,

1070
00:56:51,416 --> 00:56:54,625
and that makes a big difference
in how we care for them.

1071
00:56:54,708 --> 00:57:00,000
I don't know if any of you
who are my age or older feel this way,

1072
00:57:00,083 --> 00:57:02,208
but, like, 15 or 20 years ago,

1073
00:57:02,291 --> 00:57:06,791
everything to do with mental health
got thrown into the same bag,

1074
00:57:06,875 --> 00:57:09,458
the stigmatized "crazy people" bag.

1075
00:57:09,541 --> 00:57:11,291
All in the same bag, you know?

1076
00:57:11,375 --> 00:57:14,083
And it was something
you should try to stay away from.

1077
00:57:14,166 --> 00:57:17,583
"This guy cries all day, must be crazy.
This guy is drunk all day."

1078
00:57:17,666 --> 00:57:19,958
"This guy is yelling all day,
must be crazy."

1079
00:57:20,041 --> 00:57:24,458
And nowadays, these kinds of things
are handled with a lot more empathy.

1080
00:57:24,541 --> 00:57:27,208
And I think that's worth celebrating.

1081
00:57:28,125 --> 00:57:29,333
Let me also tell you…

1082
00:57:29,833 --> 00:57:31,166
Let me also tell you,

1083
00:57:31,250 --> 00:57:33,958
between someone who's missing
a few screws in the head…

1084
00:57:36,833 --> 00:57:38,958
and someone who got hit
on the head as a baby,

1085
00:57:40,791 --> 00:57:42,333
somewhere in this range…

1086
00:57:46,416 --> 00:57:47,875
we're all somewhere in here.

1087
00:57:48,458 --> 00:57:51,041
100% mentally stable,

1088
00:57:51,125 --> 00:57:52,583
that's none of us.

1089
00:57:53,125 --> 00:57:54,500
If you don't have a tic,

1090
00:57:56,500 --> 00:57:57,666
you have OCD.

1091
00:57:59,708 --> 00:58:01,750
Or they have TikTok.
Not sure which is worse.

1092
00:58:03,125 --> 00:58:04,041
I mean…

1093
00:58:08,625 --> 00:58:14,208
But out of all the disorders or illnesses,

1094
00:58:15,833 --> 00:58:19,583
I wanted to highlight two that I think are
basically the queens of mental health.

1095
00:58:19,666 --> 00:58:21,208
Not because they are the coolest,

1096
00:58:21,291 --> 00:58:25,291
but because they seem to be
the most deeply woven into society.

1097
00:58:25,375 --> 00:58:30,291
If we haven't experienced them ourselves,
we will, or someone very close to us will.

1098
00:58:30,791 --> 00:58:33,833
I'm talking about anxiety.

1099
00:58:35,291 --> 00:58:36,291
Big one, right?

1100
00:58:37,458 --> 00:58:38,541
And depression.

1101
00:58:39,583 --> 00:58:40,416
Okay.

1102
00:58:40,916 --> 00:58:44,875
For those of us that have anxiety,
it sucks.

1103
00:58:44,958 --> 00:58:48,541
Let's not romanticize it or sugarcoat it.

1104
00:58:48,625 --> 00:58:50,250
Anxiety sucks.

1105
00:58:50,333 --> 00:58:52,791
I've been dealing with it
for many years now.

1106
00:58:52,875 --> 00:58:56,166
Lately, it's been a steady
four or five out of ten.

1107
00:58:56,250 --> 00:58:58,916
And then it spikes.
You need to know how to deal with it.

1108
00:58:59,000 --> 00:59:02,416
For many years,
I've tried to eradicate it,

1109
00:59:02,500 --> 00:59:04,125
eradicate anxiety from my life.

1110
00:59:04,208 --> 00:59:07,958
And now I'm on the path of accepting it.

1111
00:59:08,041 --> 00:59:10,041
Accepting that I have anxiety,

1112
00:59:10,125 --> 00:59:13,333
and when it comes,
I try to manage it as best I can,

1113
00:59:13,416 --> 00:59:16,041
understanding it's a dark cloud
that comes unannounced.

1114
00:59:16,125 --> 00:59:18,458
But it also leaves unannounced, right?

1115
00:59:19,375 --> 00:59:23,166
Let's say you have an anxiety attack
in the afternoon,

1116
00:59:23,250 --> 00:59:26,208
but that morning
you were held up at knife point.

1117
00:59:26,291 --> 00:59:29,625
Both things suck,
but damn, it's textbook logic.

1118
00:59:29,708 --> 00:59:30,875
If P, then Q.

1119
00:59:30,958 --> 00:59:35,041
Understanding the cause gives you relief.
"I got mugged this morning. It's normal."

1120
00:59:35,125 --> 00:59:39,458
The worst part about anxiety
is when it hits out of nowhere.

1121
00:59:39,541 --> 00:59:42,208
You might just be relaxing at home,

1122
00:59:42,291 --> 00:59:44,625
everything seems like it's going fine,

1123
00:59:44,708 --> 00:59:46,875
and suddenly, the storm cloud rolls in.

1124
00:59:46,958 --> 00:59:49,541
You suddenly feel
your heart start to race,

1125
00:59:49,625 --> 00:59:53,666
your mouth dries up, you can't breathe,
your body feels uncomfortable.

1126
00:59:53,750 --> 00:59:56,458
You go, "I wanna jump out a window."
That really sucks.

1127
00:59:56,541 --> 01:00:01,333
I want to send strength
to anyone who has to deal with that.

1128
01:00:01,416 --> 01:00:05,916
My personal take is that those of us
who suffer from anxiety

1129
01:00:06,000 --> 01:00:09,250
are just slightly out of sync

1130
01:00:10,166 --> 01:00:11,625
with life's rhythm.

1131
01:00:11,708 --> 01:00:13,000
I mean, it's like…

1132
01:00:13,083 --> 01:00:18,541
We tend to always think about pre…
We have a thousand "pres."

1133
01:00:18,625 --> 01:00:22,333
We worry about things
before they happen, you know?

1134
01:00:22,416 --> 01:00:24,875
There's this quote from Descartes,

1135
01:00:24,958 --> 01:00:27,416
the philosopher,
not at the hardware store…

1136
01:00:28,833 --> 01:00:32,791
He said, "My life has been full
of terrible misfortunes,

1137
01:00:33,541 --> 01:00:37,916
most of which never happened."

1138
01:00:38,416 --> 01:00:43,208
We have the ability to come up
with every worst-case scenario,

1139
01:00:43,291 --> 01:00:46,208
live them out in our heads,
whether they end up happening or not.

1140
01:00:46,291 --> 01:00:49,166
But our body already
ran the marathon, you know?

1141
01:00:52,208 --> 01:00:53,416
And depression,

1142
01:00:53,500 --> 01:00:55,333
in my view,

1143
01:00:56,250 --> 01:00:58,666
is trauma that never healed.

1144
01:00:59,500 --> 01:01:01,583
It's a sadness that took root

1145
01:01:02,166 --> 01:01:05,291
after some traumatic event,

1146
01:01:05,375 --> 01:01:10,125
whatever it may be, a breakup, a loss,
whatever it is, okay?

1147
01:01:10,208 --> 01:01:12,500
Something happens,

1148
01:01:12,583 --> 01:01:15,666
time goes by,
the trauma doesn't fully heal,

1149
01:01:15,750 --> 01:01:17,875
the sadness settles in.

1150
01:01:17,958 --> 01:01:22,875
Two years could easily go by,
and you keep living your life,

1151
01:01:22,958 --> 01:01:24,875
but your feelings, your thoughts,

1152
01:01:24,958 --> 01:01:27,791
everything is still tied
to whatever happened two years ago.

1153
01:01:27,875 --> 01:01:30,375
So you don't stop living in the past.

1154
01:01:30,458 --> 01:01:32,833
Anxiety is the obsession with the future.

1155
01:01:32,916 --> 01:01:35,125
Depression is the obsession with the past.

1156
01:01:35,208 --> 01:01:38,083
It's like going through life
by watching it in a rearview mirror

1157
01:01:38,166 --> 01:01:39,666
or a telescope, you know?

1158
01:01:40,250 --> 01:01:42,000
A friend of mine once said,

1159
01:01:42,083 --> 01:01:45,583
"Look, Dani, if you've got one leg
in the past and one in the future,

1160
01:01:45,666 --> 01:01:47,625
you're gonna end up
shitting on the present."

1161
01:01:49,208 --> 01:01:50,166
What a poet.

1162
01:01:59,458 --> 01:02:02,458
It really is amazing when you find out
"present" means "gift."

1163
01:02:03,166 --> 01:02:06,166
There's another concept that… Ay!

1164
01:02:06,250 --> 01:02:08,000
It's kind of in a gray area,

1165
01:02:08,083 --> 01:02:10,625
but it's all the rage right now,
which is nostalgia.

1166
01:02:10,708 --> 01:02:12,875
Is nostalgia good or not?

1167
01:02:12,958 --> 01:02:16,666
I think there are two types of nostalgia,
the good kind and the not-so-good kind.

1168
01:02:16,750 --> 01:02:17,833
What is the good kind?

1169
01:02:17,916 --> 01:02:21,875
Good nostalgia is the kind
that takes you back to old memories,

1170
01:02:21,958 --> 01:02:24,416
to things you lived a long time ago.

1171
01:02:24,916 --> 01:02:28,041
You enjoy it, but it doesn't necessarily
leave you feeling sad.

1172
01:02:28,125 --> 01:02:30,041
Let me give you a fun example, okay?

1173
01:02:30,125 --> 01:02:32,041
I was born in 1980, right?

1174
01:02:32,125 --> 01:02:37,250
Those of you who are ten years older,
maybe fifteen years younger, give or take,

1175
01:02:37,333 --> 01:02:38,375
you might get this.

1176
01:02:38,458 --> 01:02:39,750
If I say,

1177
01:02:40,500 --> 01:02:43,208
"We are the Littles…"

1178
01:02:43,291 --> 01:02:45,166
Tails that squiggle to and fro

1179
01:02:45,250 --> 01:02:48,000
And we could keep going
with Willy Fog, Captain Tsubasa,

1180
01:02:48,083 --> 01:02:51,208
Dungeons & Dragons, Juana Hazuki,
Candy Candy, Sailor Moon…

1181
01:02:51,291 --> 01:02:52,583
I could take these two rows,

1182
01:02:52,666 --> 01:02:55,291
who are total strangers to me,
have a few beers with them,

1183
01:02:55,375 --> 01:02:56,875
sing together all night,

1184
01:02:56,958 --> 01:02:59,416
and we would return home,
completely hammered.

1185
01:03:00,166 --> 01:03:04,000
We'd say, "I had such a great time
remembering things from the past,

1186
01:03:04,083 --> 01:03:07,291
but without the slightest feeling
of sadness, you know?"

1187
01:03:07,375 --> 01:03:10,708
Bad nostalgia does leave you
with that feeling of sadness.

1188
01:03:10,791 --> 01:03:13,541
In fact, the professionals
call it melancholy.

1189
01:03:13,625 --> 01:03:15,375
It's like a whole other stage.

1190
01:03:15,458 --> 01:03:19,083
There are people who get stuck
in a certain era.

1191
01:03:20,458 --> 01:03:22,125
I call them "Kariners,"

1192
01:03:22,208 --> 01:03:25,916
people who think
that life was better in the past, right?

1193
01:03:26,000 --> 01:03:29,416
And these people can get stuck
in a certain era for whatever reason.

1194
01:03:29,500 --> 01:03:32,166
It could be
because of the friends they had,

1195
01:03:32,250 --> 01:03:36,166
the place they lived, a partner they had,
or because they were young,

1196
01:03:36,250 --> 01:03:38,125
they didn't have problems
or responsibilities,

1197
01:03:38,208 --> 01:03:40,333
because nobody was dying… I mean, no shit.

1198
01:03:41,000 --> 01:03:43,833
Every time I talk about this,
I think of a good friend of mine

1199
01:03:43,916 --> 01:03:45,583
from my generation that I grew up with.

1200
01:03:45,666 --> 01:03:49,083
I think he got stuck in that era.

1201
01:03:49,166 --> 01:03:50,958
You talk to him in the year 2000,

1202
01:03:51,041 --> 01:03:55,333
and you hear all of his stories,
his background, his jokes, references.

1203
01:03:55,416 --> 01:03:57,041
Everything was from back then.

1204
01:03:57,125 --> 01:03:59,875
You say, "Damn, you're running
about ten years behind."

1205
01:04:00,375 --> 01:04:04,041
Then you see him in 2010. Same thing.
You go, "You're running 20 years behind."

1206
01:04:04,125 --> 01:04:05,291
And you see him in 2025,

1207
01:04:05,375 --> 01:04:08,041
and he's still talking about stuff
from 35 years ago.

1208
01:04:08,125 --> 01:04:11,916
It's as if time grabs you
and drags you forward,

1209
01:04:12,000 --> 01:04:14,416
and you want to stay,
but you have to move forward,

1210
01:04:14,500 --> 01:04:15,791
like you start to fade away.

1211
01:04:15,875 --> 01:04:17,833
Like the photos in Back to the Future.

1212
01:04:18,416 --> 01:04:20,708
Look, those of you who are melancholic

1213
01:04:20,791 --> 01:04:24,875
or who get nostalgic,
which I am as well, here's another tip.

1214
01:04:24,958 --> 01:04:27,000
I think it's nice that, in the present,

1215
01:04:27,083 --> 01:04:30,625
when you're living a cool moment,
when you're living a moment of joy,

1216
01:04:30,708 --> 01:04:34,125
a bit of happiness,
when you're like, "Dude, this is dope,"

1217
01:04:34,208 --> 01:04:35,875
really try to take it in.

1218
01:04:35,958 --> 01:04:39,541
Take it in and say, "I'm living
a truly amazing moment right now."

1219
01:04:39,625 --> 01:04:43,333
Not just that. "I'm gonna try to remember
this moment for the rest of my life."

1220
01:04:43,416 --> 01:04:45,708
And if you're with someone,
say it out loud.

1221
01:04:45,791 --> 01:04:48,666
Saying it out loud
helps lock it into your memory,

1222
01:04:48,750 --> 01:04:52,208
even if it's just
to fuel future nostalgia.

1223
01:04:52,291 --> 01:04:54,958
Picture this. You are here tonight
to see this show.

1224
01:04:55,041 --> 01:04:59,500
You came with your partner, a friend,
your dad, a coworker, whoever.

1225
01:04:59,583 --> 01:05:01,833
And for whatever reason,
you had a great-ass time.

1226
01:05:01,916 --> 01:05:02,750
Take it in.

1227
01:05:02,833 --> 01:05:05,833
If you really think
that this was a joyful moment,

1228
01:05:05,916 --> 01:05:09,375
even just this short time
we've shared together, take it in.

1229
01:05:09,458 --> 01:05:12,083
Try to internalize it.
And when you leave, say it out loud.

1230
01:05:12,166 --> 01:05:13,458
"Man, that was dope."

1231
01:05:13,541 --> 01:05:14,916
And that's really cool.

1232
01:05:15,000 --> 01:05:17,333
Because maybe 20 years from now,

1233
01:05:17,416 --> 01:05:20,166
you're sitting in Plaça de Catalunya
with that same friend,

1234
01:05:20,666 --> 01:05:23,250
having a beer, and you go,

1235
01:05:23,333 --> 01:05:27,125
"Damn, do you remember
that Rovira show It's Worth it?"

1236
01:05:27,875 --> 01:05:28,958
"Damn, you remember?"

1237
01:05:29,041 --> 01:05:31,458
And he says, "Damn,
that was like 20 years ago, right?"

1238
01:05:31,541 --> 01:05:34,958
"Damn, 20 years ago.
That was great. We laughed so hard."

1239
01:05:35,041 --> 01:05:37,458
"We laughed. That guy did a great job."

1240
01:05:37,541 --> 01:05:40,250
"He was the best!"
"All right, don't get carried away."

1241
01:05:40,750 --> 01:05:43,083
"Yeah, that was a good time.
So sad that he died."

1242
01:05:43,166 --> 01:05:44,333
"Sure, it's sad."

1243
01:05:47,875 --> 01:05:48,708
Keep that up here.

1244
01:05:50,833 --> 01:05:52,041
Thank you very much.

1245
01:05:58,375 --> 01:06:03,833
Well, we're heading towards
the end of the show.

1246
01:06:03,916 --> 01:06:06,500
And since we were talking about nostalgia,

1247
01:06:06,583 --> 01:06:08,666
I'm reminded of
a beautiful lyric by Sabina.

1248
01:06:08,750 --> 01:06:11,916
"The cruelest kind of nostalgia
is for something that never happened."

1249
01:06:12,416 --> 01:06:13,666
Let me tell you something.

1250
01:06:13,750 --> 01:06:15,458
I was never told stories as a kid.

1251
01:06:15,541 --> 01:06:18,375
I've felt a lot of nostalgia
for something that never happened.

1252
01:06:18,458 --> 01:06:22,458
It's probably because, as an adult,
when it comes to oral communication,

1253
01:06:22,541 --> 01:06:23,750
as well as with sex…

1254
01:06:27,416 --> 01:06:30,625
So as a final little gift
and a touch of sweet nostalgia,

1255
01:06:30,708 --> 01:06:32,500
since you're probably overdue for one,

1256
01:06:32,583 --> 01:06:33,875
I'll tell you a quick story

1257
01:06:33,958 --> 01:06:38,583
that I think really ties into everything
we've been talking about tonight, okay?

1258
01:06:38,666 --> 01:06:40,416
Well, what I've been talking about.

1259
01:06:41,833 --> 01:06:45,416
This story takes place in a small village,
a very austere town,

1260
01:06:45,500 --> 01:06:47,833
a very small and inhospitable town.

1261
01:06:47,916 --> 01:06:52,291
And the main character of our story
is an old man,

1262
01:06:52,375 --> 01:06:54,666
but that doesn't mean
he had lost his energy,

1263
01:06:54,750 --> 01:06:56,833
his strength, or his agility, okay?

1264
01:06:57,333 --> 01:06:58,916
This man had the habit,

1265
01:06:59,000 --> 01:07:01,666
for as long as he could remember,

1266
01:07:01,750 --> 01:07:03,250
of waking up every morning

1267
01:07:03,333 --> 01:07:07,041
before the rooster crowed
and the sun peeked over the mountains.

1268
01:07:07,125 --> 01:07:09,083
He would wake up,

1269
01:07:09,166 --> 01:07:10,375
get out of bed,

1270
01:07:10,458 --> 01:07:12,666
put on his sandals,

1271
01:07:13,541 --> 01:07:15,750
and he would take two huge clay amphoras

1272
01:07:15,833 --> 01:07:19,291
and start walking
a little five-kilometer path

1273
01:07:19,375 --> 01:07:21,041
that lead to a crystal-clear spring.

1274
01:07:21,125 --> 01:07:24,041
There, he would fill both of them
to the brim

1275
01:07:24,125 --> 01:07:26,916
and then walk
the same five kilometers back.

1276
01:07:27,000 --> 01:07:28,625
When he got back to the village,

1277
01:07:28,708 --> 01:07:31,458
he would use that water for all his needs.

1278
01:07:31,541 --> 01:07:35,125
He'd drink it, cook with it,
water the land with it,

1279
01:07:35,208 --> 01:07:38,541
wash with it,
and use it for the animals, okay?

1280
01:07:39,083 --> 01:07:40,750
For about eight or ten years,

1281
01:07:40,833 --> 01:07:45,000
one of the jars
had been starting to break,

1282
01:07:45,083 --> 01:07:46,166
starting to crack.

1283
01:07:46,250 --> 01:07:50,083
It was pretty beat up.
It had small fractures all over it.

1284
01:07:50,166 --> 01:07:52,708
It got to the point
where it started to lose water.

1285
01:07:52,791 --> 01:07:55,250
Most days,
by the time he reached the village,

1286
01:07:55,333 --> 01:07:57,958
more than half the water
had been lost along the way.

1287
01:07:58,458 --> 01:08:02,916
And since inanimate objects
are allowed to come to life in stories,

1288
01:08:03,708 --> 01:08:04,750
one night,

1289
01:08:04,833 --> 01:08:07,500
before our main character went to bed,

1290
01:08:07,583 --> 01:08:09,166
the broken amphora,

1291
01:08:09,250 --> 01:08:10,708
and excuse the redundancy,

1292
01:08:11,500 --> 01:08:12,625
broke into speech.

1293
01:08:13,125 --> 01:08:15,833
It started lamenting to its master,

1294
01:08:15,916 --> 01:08:17,041
"Oh, master of mine!"

1295
01:08:17,125 --> 01:08:18,458
"I feel awful."

1296
01:08:18,541 --> 01:08:21,875
"I know that I'm broken
and no longer serve you like before."

1297
01:08:21,958 --> 01:08:24,708
"And I'm filled with shame and sorrow."

1298
01:08:24,791 --> 01:08:28,250
"And I really wouldn't mind
if you replaced me with a new jar

1299
01:08:28,333 --> 01:08:30,458
because I'm completely useless now!"

1300
01:08:31,166 --> 01:08:35,708
Completely unshaken,
but with a gentle tone, the man said,

1301
01:08:36,833 --> 01:08:40,166
"I'll never replace you
with a new amphora."

1302
01:08:41,000 --> 01:08:42,958
"But I won't tell you why today."

1303
01:08:43,625 --> 01:08:47,083
"I will tell you tomorrow,
somewhere along the walk."

1304
01:08:48,041 --> 01:08:50,958
And with that, the man went to bed
like he did every night.

1305
01:08:51,041 --> 01:08:53,875
The two amphoras were left there,
like, "Okay, then."

1306
01:08:55,041 --> 01:08:56,208
And the next day,

1307
01:08:56,916 --> 01:09:00,916
like always, before the rooster crowed
and the sun peeked over the mountains,

1308
01:09:01,833 --> 01:09:04,208
the man woke up, he put on his sandals

1309
01:09:04,291 --> 01:09:06,375
and picked up his two huge amphoras.

1310
01:09:06,958 --> 01:09:11,041
He always carried each amphora
with the same arm.

1311
01:09:11,125 --> 01:09:15,000
He would always carry the broken amphora
with his right arm.

1312
01:09:15,083 --> 01:09:15,916
Always.

1313
01:09:16,000 --> 01:09:18,750
Both on the way to the spring
and on the way back.

1314
01:09:19,458 --> 01:09:22,125
When they set off
on the five-kilometer trail,

1315
01:09:22,208 --> 01:09:23,541
nobody said a word.

1316
01:09:24,041 --> 01:09:26,458
You could only hear the sound of birds

1317
01:09:26,541 --> 01:09:29,166
and the soft rustling
of leaves in the wind.

1318
01:09:29,958 --> 01:09:32,625
When he arrived
at the crystal-clear spring,

1319
01:09:32,708 --> 01:09:35,083
he sat down
and started filling the amphoras.

1320
01:09:35,166 --> 01:09:36,500
And nobody said a word.

1321
01:09:36,583 --> 01:09:41,541
There was only the sound of water
echoing in the cave.

1322
01:09:42,791 --> 01:09:45,000
On the way back, no one spoke either,

1323
01:09:45,083 --> 01:09:48,333
until well past the halfway point.

1324
01:09:48,416 --> 01:09:50,666
The amphora had already lost
a lot of water.

1325
01:09:50,750 --> 01:09:51,833
And right then,

1326
01:09:51,916 --> 01:09:53,791
our protagonist stopped.

1327
01:09:54,625 --> 01:09:56,083
He stopped and turned around

1328
01:09:56,708 --> 01:09:58,916
to face the broken amphora, and he said,

1329
01:09:59,833 --> 01:10:03,333
"Now do you see
why I haven't replaced you?"

1330
01:10:04,166 --> 01:10:05,000
"Look."

1331
01:10:05,791 --> 01:10:07,541
"Look at this stretch of the path."

1332
01:10:08,416 --> 01:10:09,750
"It's covered in flowers,

1333
01:10:10,458 --> 01:10:11,458
thanks to you."

1334
01:10:23,833 --> 01:10:25,250
Life is worth living.

1335
01:10:26,708 --> 01:10:28,541
It's a no-brainer, it's obvious,

1336
01:10:28,625 --> 01:10:31,833
but I tend to think
that obvious things can be so obvious

1337
01:10:31,916 --> 01:10:33,416
that we can be oblivious.

1338
01:10:33,500 --> 01:10:34,791
But sorrow,

1339
01:10:34,875 --> 01:10:37,541
in itself, is worth something too.

1340
01:10:38,250 --> 01:10:40,625
Throughout tonight,

1341
01:10:40,708 --> 01:10:43,291
between laughs and a few confessions,

1342
01:10:43,375 --> 01:10:45,958
I have told you about
some of the grief I've experienced,

1343
01:10:46,041 --> 01:10:49,250
some of the losses I've endured
throughout these recent years.

1344
01:10:49,333 --> 01:10:51,375
But I've been deliberately
saving one for the end

1345
01:10:51,458 --> 01:10:56,458
so I could share with you
the greatest loss of my life,

1346
01:10:57,000 --> 01:10:59,583
the hardest grief I've ever been through.

1347
01:11:00,666 --> 01:11:04,458
And it's the grief of losing myself.

1348
01:11:05,166 --> 01:11:06,833
You might think, "What's that mean?"

1349
01:11:07,333 --> 01:11:10,166
"What does that mean, Dani?
How do you lose yourself?"

1350
01:11:10,708 --> 01:11:11,875
It's so easy.

1351
01:11:12,500 --> 01:11:13,833
It's shockingly easy.

1352
01:11:13,916 --> 01:11:17,958
Because I think it begins
before we even realize it.

1353
01:11:18,041 --> 01:11:20,250
When we're little kids,

1354
01:11:20,333 --> 01:11:24,333
all we really long for
is Mom's love, right?

1355
01:11:24,416 --> 01:11:26,500
We want her to love and embrace us.

1356
01:11:26,583 --> 01:11:29,666
And there's this kind of deep-rooted fear
of being abandoned.

1357
01:11:29,750 --> 01:11:30,833
No one knows why.

1358
01:11:30,916 --> 01:11:33,041
So you're constantly doing

1359
01:11:33,125 --> 01:11:35,791
everything you can
to make sure your mom loves you.

1360
01:11:35,875 --> 01:11:37,208
And a lot of those things

1361
01:11:37,291 --> 01:11:40,375
probably didn't reflect
your true self at all.

1362
01:11:40,458 --> 01:11:43,125
But you knew what to do and what not to do

1363
01:11:43,208 --> 01:11:45,500
to receive affection and avoid punishment.

1364
01:11:45,583 --> 01:11:48,875
But a lot of that didn't reflect
your true nature, right?

1365
01:11:49,750 --> 01:11:53,000
And what is that if not,
from a very young age,

1366
01:11:53,083 --> 01:11:54,416
putting on a kind of…

1367
01:11:55,541 --> 01:11:56,500
mask?

1368
01:11:57,250 --> 01:11:58,625
It also happened with Dad.

1369
01:11:58,708 --> 01:12:01,250
How many times, growing up,

1370
01:12:01,333 --> 01:12:03,833
did we want our dad to be proud of us?

1371
01:12:03,916 --> 01:12:07,208
How many times
did we chase that pat on the back?

1372
01:12:07,291 --> 01:12:10,458
How many times did we feel like
one of our siblings was the favorite,

1373
01:12:10,541 --> 01:12:12,416
and you would copy what they did

1374
01:12:12,500 --> 01:12:15,708
to make Dad as proud of you
as he was of them?

1375
01:12:15,791 --> 01:12:17,916
And a lot of those things,
when you did them,

1376
01:12:18,000 --> 01:12:19,750
didn't reflect who you truly are.

1377
01:12:19,833 --> 01:12:21,750
They weren't part of your true essence.

1378
01:12:21,833 --> 01:12:25,625
But you did them because you longed
for your dad's affection and approval.

1379
01:12:25,708 --> 01:12:27,041
And what is that, if not…

1380
01:12:28,500 --> 01:12:29,791
putting on another mask?

1381
01:12:30,416 --> 01:12:32,708
Or take relationships as a couple,
for instance.

1382
01:12:33,250 --> 01:12:34,916
Romantic relationships.

1383
01:12:35,000 --> 01:12:38,000
How many times have we heard
or even said,

1384
01:12:38,083 --> 01:12:41,125
"Wow! They bring out
the best version of myself"?

1385
01:12:42,291 --> 01:12:44,291
And that could be true at times.

1386
01:12:44,375 --> 01:12:46,750
But often, what it really means is,

1387
01:12:46,833 --> 01:12:49,166
"Wow! They bring out
the best version of myself

1388
01:12:49,250 --> 01:12:52,541
I think my partner will like the most."

1389
01:12:52,625 --> 01:12:54,375
Because we often know each other,

1390
01:12:54,875 --> 01:12:56,750
and we know about our baggage,

1391
01:12:56,833 --> 01:13:00,000
about our bullshit,
about the skeletons in our closets.

1392
01:13:00,083 --> 01:13:03,458
And if we show our true selves
to our partner,

1393
01:13:03,541 --> 01:13:06,666
we get scared and panic,
thinking they'll take off running.

1394
01:13:06,750 --> 01:13:12,666
So I'll be what my partner wants me to be
so they don't abandon me and will love me.

1395
01:13:13,166 --> 01:13:15,041
And what is that if not…

1396
01:13:16,916 --> 01:13:18,291
putting on another mask?

1397
01:13:18,875 --> 01:13:20,000
Social media.

1398
01:13:20,500 --> 01:13:23,041
It feels like
we've grown up with it, right?

1399
01:13:23,541 --> 01:13:25,125
And do we really think

1400
01:13:25,625 --> 01:13:29,541
our profile represents 100% of who we are?

1401
01:13:30,458 --> 01:13:35,791
Because we constantly do things
to please people we don't even know.

1402
01:13:35,875 --> 01:13:37,833
For what? For followers?

1403
01:13:38,458 --> 01:13:39,291
For likes?

1404
01:13:39,375 --> 01:13:43,166
Are we really the person
our social media depicts?

1405
01:13:43,250 --> 01:13:44,625
If that were true, I'd say,

1406
01:13:44,708 --> 01:13:47,166
"Damn, I can't believe
there are so many pieces of shit

1407
01:13:47,250 --> 01:13:48,333
like on Twitter."

1408
01:13:48,416 --> 01:13:51,375
"I also don't believe there are people
who have such perfect lives

1409
01:13:51,458 --> 01:13:52,416
like on Instagram."

1410
01:13:52,916 --> 01:13:53,916
But it's what we do.

1411
01:13:54,416 --> 01:13:57,125
Are we really the people
we show the world on social media,

1412
01:13:57,208 --> 01:13:59,166
or is it just…

1413
01:14:01,250 --> 01:14:02,416
another mask?

1414
01:14:03,291 --> 01:14:06,541
And in my particular case,
I'm a very well-known person.

1415
01:14:06,625 --> 01:14:09,791
I've been very popular
for almost 20 years.

1416
01:14:09,875 --> 01:14:11,291
And for those 20 years,

1417
01:14:11,375 --> 01:14:13,916
I've always wanted people to like me.

1418
01:14:14,000 --> 01:14:15,208
I've wanted to be liked.

1419
01:14:15,291 --> 01:14:17,458
And one of my biggest fears

1420
01:14:17,541 --> 01:14:20,666
was people thinking I was an asshole,

1421
01:14:21,208 --> 01:14:24,416
or not liking me,
or thinking I was a jerk.

1422
01:14:24,500 --> 01:14:28,000
Or, I don't know, people thinking
the fame had gone to my head.

1423
01:14:28,083 --> 01:14:31,916
And to make sure that never happened,
I put myself last.

1424
01:14:32,791 --> 01:14:35,541
I constantly walked all over myself,

1425
01:14:36,041 --> 01:14:38,041
just to get people to love me.

1426
01:14:38,916 --> 01:14:40,833
I've even taken photos in a funeral home.

1427
01:14:42,791 --> 01:14:46,791
I don't know the key to success,
but I did discover that the key to failure

1428
01:14:46,875 --> 01:14:49,708
is trying to please everyone.

1429
01:14:51,625 --> 01:14:53,708
And when you wear so many masks,

1430
01:14:53,791 --> 01:14:56,625
there comes a point when life,
for better or for worse,

1431
01:14:56,708 --> 01:15:00,333
slaps you so hard
when you turn around a corner

1432
01:15:00,833 --> 01:15:04,833
that not only do all your masks fall off,
but so do the numbers on your ID card.

1433
01:15:05,416 --> 01:15:08,708
And your very foundations,
your islands, might even collapse.

1434
01:15:08,791 --> 01:15:12,416
Do you remember Inside Out, the first one?
The one with the little girl.

1435
01:15:12,500 --> 01:15:17,166
When all seems lost and those seemingly
indestructible islands collapse.

1436
01:15:17,250 --> 01:15:20,625
Family Island,
Friendship Island, Magic Island,

1437
01:15:20,708 --> 01:15:23,333
Goofball Island, Honesty Island…

1438
01:15:23,833 --> 01:15:26,750
There was a moment
when life slapped me so hard

1439
01:15:26,833 --> 01:15:30,333
that all my masks fell off
and all my islands collapsed.

1440
01:15:30,875 --> 01:15:34,625
And I looked in the mirror,
and I didn't recognize myself.

1441
01:15:34,708 --> 01:15:37,708
And believe me,
that's a fucking awful feeling.

1442
01:15:38,541 --> 01:15:40,791
I could almost say

1443
01:15:40,875 --> 01:15:44,416
there was a period where I felt like
I had no ground beneath me.

1444
01:15:45,000 --> 01:15:47,208
It's a feeling of abandonment,

1445
01:15:47,291 --> 01:15:50,250
it's a feeling of disorientation,

1446
01:15:50,333 --> 01:15:51,250
of fear…

1447
01:15:51,333 --> 01:15:52,958
So much fear.

1448
01:15:53,041 --> 01:15:54,875
Fear because you don't think you can go on

1449
01:15:54,958 --> 01:15:58,750
because you're afraid to go on,
because you don't want to go on.

1450
01:16:00,041 --> 01:16:04,083
I learned that mystics call this
"the dark night of the soul."

1451
01:16:05,500 --> 01:16:06,708
I've cried, you know.

1452
01:16:07,333 --> 01:16:10,458
Like Maná said,
"I cried a river, and I cried an ocean."

1453
01:16:11,291 --> 01:16:13,625
But as Vetusta Morla put it,

1454
01:16:13,708 --> 01:16:16,750
"We'll only be free
when there's nothing left to lose."

1455
01:16:18,333 --> 01:16:22,541
Years ago, I read a poem
by my beloved Mario Benedetti

1456
01:16:23,208 --> 01:16:26,250
that said a smile is much more beautiful

1457
01:16:27,041 --> 01:16:28,833
when it follows tears.

1458
01:16:29,416 --> 01:16:31,416
It's like when the sun comes out

1459
01:16:32,208 --> 01:16:34,041
after many days of rain,

1460
01:16:34,791 --> 01:16:38,125
and chances are
there's a rainbow on the way.

1461
01:16:39,250 --> 01:16:40,916
After this whole process,

1462
01:16:41,000 --> 01:16:44,625
I couldn't tell you
if I am a better or worse person.

1463
01:16:45,791 --> 01:16:48,541
What I can say is
that I'm much more authentic,

1464
01:16:48,625 --> 01:16:50,333
and that's what it's all about.

1465
01:16:50,416 --> 01:16:52,833
I've never been more myself
than I am right now.

1466
01:16:53,333 --> 01:16:56,791
Actually, it reminds me of the man
who snuck in the elevator. Remember him?

1467
01:16:56,875 --> 01:16:58,083
He asked, "Is it you?"

1468
01:16:58,166 --> 01:16:59,875
And I laughed about it.

1469
01:17:00,416 --> 01:17:04,208
Maybe he saw something in me
and was trying to warn me.

1470
01:17:04,291 --> 01:17:06,125
If he were in front of me now, I'd say,

1471
01:17:06,208 --> 01:17:08,500
"I'm more myself
than I ever have been, man."

1472
01:17:09,000 --> 01:17:10,041
And to all of you,

1473
01:17:10,583 --> 01:17:14,041
I want to say that if you're ever
going through a time of sadness,

1474
01:17:14,125 --> 01:17:16,250
or if you're going through it now,

1475
01:17:16,333 --> 01:17:17,666
remember three things.

1476
01:17:17,750 --> 01:17:19,916
First, hang in there.

1477
01:17:20,500 --> 01:17:22,375
Hang in there. This will pass.

1478
01:17:23,041 --> 01:17:26,791
Second, since you're going through
this period of darkness and pain,

1479
01:17:26,875 --> 01:17:28,541
try to learn from it.

1480
01:17:29,208 --> 01:17:31,333
Don't let it all be for nothing.

1481
01:17:32,000 --> 01:17:35,166
And third, do what is best for you.

1482
01:17:35,250 --> 01:17:37,416
Do what feels best for you.

1483
01:17:37,500 --> 01:17:40,916
And if you're having a shitty morning,
and that corny phrase on your coffee mug

1484
01:17:41,000 --> 01:17:44,125
gives you that extra push
to step outside with energy,

1485
01:17:44,208 --> 01:17:47,583
do it, and forget what people think.

1486
01:17:48,666 --> 01:17:49,875
But I'll also say this.

1487
01:17:50,375 --> 01:17:52,833
When sadness grabs hold of you like that,

1488
01:17:53,666 --> 01:17:55,083
it never fully lets go.

1489
01:17:55,166 --> 01:17:58,291
It's like gum stuck
to the bottom of your shoe.

1490
01:17:58,791 --> 01:18:01,250
And for me, when that sadness shows up,

1491
01:18:01,333 --> 01:18:03,708
it always brings
a heavy dose of loneliness.

1492
01:18:03,791 --> 01:18:04,708
A lot.

1493
01:18:05,458 --> 01:18:08,708
Because out there,
I feel like there's so much more noise

1494
01:18:08,791 --> 01:18:10,541
and so much more hostility.

1495
01:18:11,166 --> 01:18:14,041
And when that sadness
and loneliness creep in

1496
01:18:14,125 --> 01:18:15,333
and I'm home alone,

1497
01:18:16,750 --> 01:18:18,000
you know what I do?

1498
01:18:19,625 --> 01:18:21,250
I turn to magical thinking.

1499
01:18:22,666 --> 01:18:25,875
And maybe I'm sitting on my sofa,
and I look to my right…

1500
01:18:30,166 --> 01:18:31,458
and I see the blanket.

1501
01:18:32,583 --> 01:18:33,791
And you know what I do?

1502
01:18:34,583 --> 01:18:37,125
I hold it tight, and I smell it.

1503
01:18:38,000 --> 01:18:42,166
And a little magical thought creeps in
that pushes me to look at my front door

1504
01:18:42,666 --> 01:18:47,083
and think that everything
that is no longer a part of my life,

1505
01:18:47,166 --> 01:18:50,583
everything life took away from me,
everything I loved that is gone,

1506
01:18:51,208 --> 01:18:54,791
one day, somehow,
life will return it to me.

1507
01:18:55,791 --> 01:18:58,125
And I couldn't care less
about what you think

1508
01:18:59,166 --> 01:19:00,541
because it works for me.

1509
01:19:26,875 --> 01:19:28,750
Thank you very much, and…

1510
01:19:30,708 --> 01:19:33,666
and if there's anything left to say,
I'd say that it's always,

1511
01:19:33,750 --> 01:19:36,833
and I mean always,

1512
01:19:37,708 --> 01:19:38,666
worth it.

1513
01:20:56,875 --> 01:21:01,875
Subtitle translation by: Lee Pollard