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Downloaded from
YTS.MX

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‪NETFLIX 呈献

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Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.MX

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‪（彼得武先生）

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‪请进

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‪打扰了

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‪这样可以吗？

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‪-可以 放那里吧
‪-好的

9
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‪不好意思 差不多要开始了 麻烦您了

10
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‪麻烦您了

11
00:00:50,291 --> 00:00:52,500
‪之后再继续采访吧

12
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‪这样啊 那就拜托你了

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‪让您久等了

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‪没问题了吧？

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‪早安

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‪早安

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‪帮您别上麦克风

18
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‪请喝水

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‪今天我们也请到了一位特别嘉宾

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‪现场观众也是我们的嘉宾
‪希望大家都能尽情享受！

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‪-请在这里稍候
‪-摄影机可能也会拍到大家

22
00:01:19,166 --> 00:01:21,541
‪所以要补妆的人请趁现在

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‪现在的摄影机都是4K或8K
‪性能解析度越来越高

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‪就算是化平时的妆
‪连毛孔都会被拍得一清二楚

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‪不过各位请放心
‪我们节目没那么多钱

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‪看到发给各位的
‪纪念周边商品应该就能明白

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‪闲话说着说着后台也准备好了

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‪那就请大家以热烈掌声
‪欢迎今天的主持人！

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‪彼得武先生！

30
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‪话说回来 最近的年轻人很恐怖

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‪前阵子不是发生过
‪用金属球棒打人的事件吗？

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‪其实我之前也跟年轻人起过冲突
‪在街上撞到了对方的肩膀

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‪-有这回事？
‪-对方还带着金属球棒

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‪-那太恐怖了
‪-我不想被人看扁 于是我就说…

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‪-“你哪个小学的？”
‪-对方是小学生啊？

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‪-喂！
‪-什么事？

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‪能有什么事？该你们上台了

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‪还请多关照

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‪-20分钟喔
‪-好的

40
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‪-让我摸一下
‪-不要啦

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‪跟大福似的

42
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‪现在要进行一段特别喜剧演出

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‪今天请到的是来自东京的…

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‪我想想…叫什么来着？

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‪总之请看他们精彩的演出！

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‪大家好 我们是松鹤家的
‪阿武和阿清 请多指教

47
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‪-新潟真是个好地方
‪-是啊 我们是第一次来到这里

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‪平常都是在东京浅草演出

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‪没错 在浅草的脱衣舞剧场演短剧

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‪在两场脱衣舞中间的空档表演短剧

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‪很辛苦 有时候
‪弄错顺序他就得脱衣服了

52
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‪并没有 我干吗脱光啊？

53
00:03:20,166 --> 00:03:23,583
‪话说回来 最近的年轻人很恐怖

54
00:03:23,666 --> 00:03:26,583
‪前阵子不是发生过
‪用金属球棒打人的事件吗？

55
00:03:26,666 --> 00:03:30,041
‪其实我之前也跟年轻人起过冲突
‪在街上撞到了对方的肩膀

56
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‪-有这回事？
‪-对方还带着金属球棒

57
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‪-那太恐怖了
‪-我不想被人看扁 于是我就说…

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‪-“你哪个小学的？”
‪-对方是小学生啊？

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‪-她说：“我们是足立小学的”
‪-还是女生？

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‪“什么？足立小学？”

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‪-足立小学有什么好怕的？
‪-“我叔叔是那里的教务主任喔”

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‪太逊了吧！

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‪对方不过就是个小学女生 真是的

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‪你这故事说了好多遍

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‪听我们说话啊 笨蛋

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‪我们正在表演漫才！

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‪给我安静地听 笨蛋！

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‪等等 你在说什么啊？

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‪对不起啊 他在开玩笑啦！

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‪不过说到长嶋茂雄先生退休

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‪他那段名言还真是令人感动

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‪你这家伙脸长得就像狗的蛋蛋

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‪不 他不是这样说的…

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‪喂 我是在说你们啦！

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‪-从刚才就一直嘀嘀咕咕的
‪-对了！

76
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‪-我在这里…
‪-你的故事如果真的那么有趣…

77
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‪-来表演一段魔术
‪-就上台来讲啊

78
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‪-请看这条一般的…
‪-上来啊 不是很有趣吗？

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‪-喂！
‪-这是一条手帕

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‪-你不要太过分了！
‪-你喝太多了啦

81
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‪-不要这样
‪-让开！

82
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‪把这个像这样盖上去…

83
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‪你以为你是谁？

84
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‪然后吹一口气…

85
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‪我是谐星 你这笨蛋

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‪请看 变出一朵花了！

87
00:05:30,625 --> 00:05:34,208
‪其实我之前也跟年轻人起过冲突
‪在街上撞到了对方的肩膀

88
00:05:34,291 --> 00:05:36,625
‪-对方还带着金属球棒
‪-那太恐怖了

89
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‪但我不想被人看扁…

90
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‪-对方是小学生啊？
‪-她说：“我们是足立小学的”

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‪还是女生？

92
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‪“什么？足立小学？
‪我叔叔是那里的教务主任喔”

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‪（阿武和阿清）

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‪大家好 我们是松鹤家的
‪阿武和阿清 请多指教

95
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‪名古屋真是个好地方

96
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‪我们是第一次来到这里

97
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‪-平常都是在东京浅草演出
‪-没错

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‪在浅草的脱衣舞剧场演短剧…

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‪出去！

100
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‪你们给我滚！

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‪拿去！

102
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‪笨蛋！

103
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‪-对方还带着金属球棒
‪-那太恐怖了

104
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‪我不想被人看扁 于是我就说…

105
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‪-“你哪个小学的？”
‪-对方是小学生啊？

106
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‪这位客人 怎么了？

107
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‪我想去上个厕所

108
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‪不行吗？

109
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‪不 请便

110
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‪抱歉 我刚才的吐槽慢了些？

111
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‪台词叠到比较好

112
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‪没错 我也觉得

113
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‪我不想被人看扁 于是我就说…

114
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‪-“你哪个小学的？”
‪-对方是小学生啊？

115
00:08:36,291 --> 00:08:39,500
‪-她说：“我们是足立小学的”
‪-还是女生？

116
00:08:39,583 --> 00:08:42,208
‪-“什么？足立小学？”
‪-足立小学有什么好怕的？

117
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‪-“我叔叔是那里的教务主任喔”
‪-太逊了吧！

118
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‪他们说准备了住处
‪结果是这种地方？

119
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‪总比睡车站长椅好吧

120
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‪我们这是在搞什么？

121
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‪要不要干脆回法兰西座？
‪跟师父认错道歉

122
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‪听说他下令“就算阿武
‪那小子来了 也不能让他进剧场”

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‪那就没办法了

124
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‪干吗转床啊？

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‪这个嘛 因为难得住这里嘛

126
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‪难得什么啦？

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‪（浅草）

128
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‪师父！昨天最后一场大爆冷门啊

129
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‪我押了2、8

130
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‪那今晚要在本店请客庆祝了

131
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‪笨蛋 在你们的店钱根本用不完啦

132
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‪我也想说说看这句话 下次见了！

133
00:10:39,583 --> 00:10:40,416
‪下次见！

134
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‪师父 早安

135
00:10:42,000 --> 00:10:44,583
‪-今天也很漂亮呢
‪-是吗？

136
00:10:44,666 --> 00:10:47,375
‪-我是说打扫得干净又漂亮
‪-讨厌啦！

137
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‪早安

138
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‪被一线月光引导

139
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‪以激动的刀劈开黑暗

140
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‪我乃第三代月影…

141
00:11:05,291 --> 00:11:07,125
‪好懊悔啊…你这个笨蛋！

142
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‪别这么快杀过来！

143
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‪我正在帅气地讲开场白
‪等我讲完了你再过来

144
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‪对不起

145
00:11:13,750 --> 00:11:17,166
‪我乃第三代月影武藏！

146
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‪太慢了！

147
00:11:23,125 --> 00:11:24,750
‪你要抓好时机杀过来！

148
00:11:24,833 --> 00:11:26,958
‪我说完“月影武藏”
‪你就要砰一声地一刀砍过来！

149
00:11:27,041 --> 00:11:27,875
‪对不起

150
00:11:27,958 --> 00:11:29,250
‪我乃月影武藏！

151
00:11:29,333 --> 00:11:30,208
‪砰！

152
00:11:30,291 --> 00:11:32,166
‪笨蛋！谁叫你用嘴说“砰”的？

153
00:11:32,250 --> 00:11:35,208
‪哪有这么蠢的决斗？在心里说就行了

154
00:11:35,291 --> 00:11:36,125
‪对不起

155
00:11:36,208 --> 00:11:37,833
‪我乃月影武藏！

156
00:11:38,791 --> 00:11:40,083
‪有机可乘！

157
00:11:41,416 --> 00:11:44,833
‪你这样不行！
‪怎么可以屁股对着观众倒下

158
00:11:44,916 --> 00:11:47,416
‪脸要转过来 死的时候
‪要让观众看到你的脸！

159
00:11:47,500 --> 00:11:48,833
‪-对不起
‪-来吧！

160
00:11:48,916 --> 00:11:51,375
‪有机可乘！

161
00:11:55,791 --> 00:11:59,541
{\an8}‪（《裸体大进行曲》）

162
00:11:59,625 --> 00:12:02,750
‪（今日演出）

163
00:12:02,833 --> 00:12:05,250
‪（团长 深见千三郎）

164
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‪阿姨

165
00:12:16,291 --> 00:12:19,333
‪你跟师父说了吗？

166
00:12:21,208 --> 00:12:22,583
‪要吃甜馒头吗？

167
00:12:31,166 --> 00:12:34,875
‪我又不是为了当电梯小弟才来浅草的

168
00:12:35,375 --> 00:12:36,750
‪我知道

169
00:12:37,833 --> 00:12:39,416
‪唉唷 欢迎光临

170
00:12:42,000 --> 00:12:44,166
‪-800日元
‪-800日元是吧？

171
00:12:44,250 --> 00:12:45,916
‪-给你
‪-好的 谢谢

172
00:12:47,833 --> 00:12:48,833
‪请尽情观赏

173
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‪欢迎 难得您这么早过来

174
00:12:53,583 --> 00:12:55,458
‪这个月开始我都上晚班

175
00:12:56,500 --> 00:12:57,666
‪希望您玩得开心

176
00:12:59,541 --> 00:13:01,166
‪（浅草法兰西座）

177
00:13:06,958 --> 00:13:09,208
‪被一线月光引导

178
00:13:11,250 --> 00:13:13,791
‪以激动的刀劈开黑暗

179
00:13:13,875 --> 00:13:16,833
‪我乃第三代月影…

180
00:13:20,541 --> 00:13:23,750
‪太慢了 笨蛋 我台词都说完了

181
00:13:25,666 --> 00:13:27,208
‪太慢了 笨蛋

182
00:13:27,833 --> 00:13:29,250
‪被爱过…

183
00:13:30,916 --> 00:13:32,625
‪被抛弃…

184
00:13:34,625 --> 00:13:36,791
‪在被遗忘的…

185
00:13:36,875 --> 00:13:39,916
‪房间的角落

186
00:13:41,791 --> 00:13:44,208
‪我…

187
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‪把我的…

188
00:13:48,708 --> 00:13:50,916
‪生命…

189
00:13:52,375 --> 00:13:54,166
‪交给了你

190
00:13:57,375 --> 00:13:58,916
‪那是…

191
00:14:00,750 --> 00:14:03,458
‪暂时的爱

192
00:14:05,416 --> 00:14:11,791
‪内心的戏言

193
00:14:13,666 --> 00:14:18,541
‪不知为何 我却不愿这么想

194
00:14:20,458 --> 00:14:26,583
‪胸口太痛了

195
00:14:27,083 --> 00:14:34,083
‪就像满布尘埃的

196
00:14:34,583 --> 00:14:40,708
‪一个洋娃娃

197
00:14:41,750 --> 00:14:47,250
‪焦急地一等再等

198
00:14:48,333 --> 00:14:54,041
‪在房间角落哭泣 浸湿脸颊

199
00:14:55,291 --> 00:15:02,083
‪我把我的生命

200
00:15:02,625 --> 00:15:08,375
‪交给了你

201
00:15:09,583 --> 00:15:16,000
‪我把我的生命

202
00:15:16,500 --> 00:15:22,416
‪交给了你

203
00:15:43,875 --> 00:15:44,916
‪你好

204
00:15:45,416 --> 00:15:46,333
‪你是谁啊？

205
00:15:47,291 --> 00:15:53,166
‪我住在后台休息室 听到有人唱歌

206
00:15:54,000 --> 00:15:56,916
‪这样啊 你是电梯小弟

207
00:15:59,958 --> 00:16:01,708
‪所以有什么事吗？

208
00:16:05,208 --> 00:16:08,083
‪其实也没什么事啦

209
00:16:12,291 --> 00:16:15,916
‪你歌唱得很好呢

210
00:16:16,000 --> 00:16:17,208
‪我不会让你上的

211
00:16:17,875 --> 00:16:18,750
‪什么？

212
00:16:20,666 --> 00:16:23,500
‪我只是称赞你歌唱得好

213
00:16:24,375 --> 00:16:26,458
‪但你在想我可能会让你上吧？

214
00:16:29,541 --> 00:16:31,500
‪我没有那样想！

215
00:16:34,958 --> 00:16:38,833
‪我怎么可能那样想？

216
00:16:44,083 --> 00:16:50,000
‪如果你觉得男人脑子里
‪都在想这个 那你就大错特错了

217
00:17:04,000 --> 00:17:05,375
‪什么？你愿意让我上吗？

218
00:17:10,416 --> 00:17:14,416
‪你就跟他谈谈嘛 师父 你也见过他

219
00:17:19,416 --> 00:17:22,416
‪是可以啦 但那家伙
‪真的是个人才吗？

220
00:17:24,125 --> 00:17:26,083
‪-就是他！
‪-早安

221
00:17:26,166 --> 00:17:28,625
‪我们刚才正谈到你呢

222
00:17:28,708 --> 00:17:30,666
‪还请师父不吝指教！

223
00:17:30,750 --> 00:17:31,958
‪是喔

224
00:17:32,833 --> 00:17:34,916
‪所以你会什么？

225
00:17:35,666 --> 00:17:36,500
‪什么？

226
00:17:36,583 --> 00:17:39,583
‪我是说表演技艺 你不是想上台吗？

227
00:17:39,666 --> 00:17:41,458
‪你会表演什么？

228
00:17:44,041 --> 00:17:45,416
‪没有特别值得一提的

229
00:17:45,500 --> 00:17:49,958
‪什么？笨蛋 你在小看我吗？

230
00:17:50,041 --> 00:17:52,583
‪少天真了 什么都不会
‪是当不上谐星的

231
00:17:52,666 --> 00:17:53,500
‪对不起

232
00:17:53,583 --> 00:17:58,750
‪不管是唱歌或跳舞
‪你总要有点技艺才能上台表演吧

233
00:18:00,208 --> 00:18:03,750
‪不过我喜欢爵士乐
‪我曾在爵士咖啡厅打过工

234
00:18:03,833 --> 00:18:05,375
‪这样啊 你会演奏吗？

235
00:18:05,458 --> 00:18:06,333
‪不 我只会听

236
00:18:06,416 --> 00:18:08,875
‪光听有什么用？你是要当听众吗？

237
00:18:08,958 --> 00:18:11,875
‪你说啊 你不是想上台表演吗？

238
00:18:13,791 --> 00:18:14,625
‪是的

239
00:18:14,708 --> 00:18:18,666
‪怎么都不说话？谐星反应一定要快！

240
00:18:18,750 --> 00:18:21,458
‪-你连这点事都办不到…
‪-好了啦 师父

241
00:18:21,541 --> 00:18:24,958
‪你突然问他会什么技艺
‪要人家怎么回答嘛 对吧？

242
00:18:29,416 --> 00:18:32,166
‪抱歉 你去找别人吧

243
00:18:35,375 --> 00:18:36,833
‪我不要找别人！

244
00:18:42,666 --> 00:18:47,291
‪我喜欢师父的短剧

245
00:18:51,375 --> 00:18:53,708
‪我看过许多谐星的短剧

246
00:18:55,500 --> 00:18:57,708
‪还是师父的最棒

247
00:18:59,708 --> 00:19:00,875
‪让人感觉…

248
00:19:03,666 --> 00:19:05,250
‪哪怕是表演同一个段子

249
00:19:06,541 --> 00:19:10,208
‪表演者不同 竟然会差这么多

250
00:19:13,250 --> 00:19:16,125
‪你一个外行人真嚣张
‪还说得一副很懂的样子

251
00:19:16,208 --> 00:19:19,666
‪你哪知道什么是最棒的？

252
00:19:20,166 --> 00:19:23,333
‪不过就是个什么技艺都不会的臭小鬼

253
00:19:25,625 --> 00:19:27,125
‪你这家伙笑什么笑？

254
00:19:27,208 --> 00:19:30,500
‪没有啊 要吃甜馒头吗？

255
00:19:30,583 --> 00:19:32,166
‪我才不要呢 笨蛋！

256
00:19:38,750 --> 00:19:39,750
‪喂！

257
00:19:40,250 --> 00:19:42,041
‪这不是你的工作吗？

258
00:19:42,125 --> 00:19:43,333
‪对不起

259
00:20:02,541 --> 00:20:03,416
‪什么？

260
00:20:04,041 --> 00:20:05,166
‪拿着

261
00:20:06,291 --> 00:20:07,125
‪是

262
00:21:04,708 --> 00:21:06,583
‪这就是表演技艺

263
00:21:08,666 --> 00:21:10,625
‪你真心想学的话我可以教你

264
00:21:19,416 --> 00:21:21,708
‪喂 包包还我啊 你这笨蛋！

265
00:21:22,208 --> 00:21:24,250
‪-快点！
‪-是！

266
00:21:24,333 --> 00:21:26,375
‪-我的包包！
‪-我现在马上拿过去！

267
00:21:27,833 --> 00:21:29,250
‪（《国王与王后》 千春）

268
00:22:35,541 --> 00:22:37,208
‪深见先生 我们去续摊

269
00:24:05,666 --> 00:24:07,333
‪越来越有模有样了

270
00:24:07,958 --> 00:24:08,875
‪是吗？

271
00:24:10,375 --> 00:24:11,291
‪接着

272
00:24:29,041 --> 00:24:30,250
‪不要这样

273
00:24:32,458 --> 00:24:36,000
‪一副在享受青春的表情
‪你都不会难为情吗？

274
00:24:36,083 --> 00:24:37,250
‪少啰唆

275
00:24:40,625 --> 00:24:42,125
‪-对了 千春…
‪-我不会让你上的

276
00:24:42,208 --> 00:24:43,583
‪我不是要跟你说这个

277
00:24:45,833 --> 00:24:49,000
‪你为什么会在这里…

278
00:24:50,416 --> 00:24:51,250
‪怎么说好呢？

279
00:24:53,458 --> 00:24:54,291
‪跳脱衣舞吗？

280
00:24:57,125 --> 00:24:58,208
‪我忘了

281
00:24:59,791 --> 00:25:03,208
‪本来我跟着剧团
‪走遍全日本唱歌、表演

282
00:25:03,708 --> 00:25:05,625
‪回过神来就已经光着身体在跳舞了

283
00:25:07,916 --> 00:25:09,125
‪所以你原本是歌手啊

284
00:25:11,333 --> 00:25:13,250
‪难怪你唱得那么好

285
00:25:16,250 --> 00:25:18,291
‪我这种程度的人可多了

286
00:25:27,791 --> 00:25:30,791
‪真羡慕你 你还有大好将来

287
00:25:35,666 --> 00:25:37,125
‪不 没事

288
00:25:40,458 --> 00:25:41,333
‪继续吧

289
00:25:57,583 --> 00:25:58,416
‪喂 阿武

290
00:25:59,291 --> 00:26:00,416
‪-什么事？
‪-轮到你上台了

291
00:26:00,500 --> 00:26:01,333
‪什么？

292
00:26:01,916 --> 00:26:04,666
‪阿清临时没办法上台
‪所以师父叫你代替他

293
00:26:04,750 --> 00:26:05,625
‪可是…

294
00:26:06,208 --> 00:26:07,250
‪这是大好机会啊！阿武

295
00:26:07,333 --> 00:26:09,791
‪不快点去 师父要改变主意了

296
00:26:10,375 --> 00:26:12,583
‪你快去 阿姨帮你顾电梯！

297
00:26:12,666 --> 00:26:13,708
‪-麻烦你了
‪-好

298
00:26:14,375 --> 00:26:15,375
‪我演女公关吗？

299
00:26:15,458 --> 00:26:19,083
‪对 我演大哥 高山演我小弟

300
00:26:19,166 --> 00:26:24,041
‪高山一下台 我就会说
‪“我也去钓个漂亮女人”

301
00:26:24,125 --> 00:26:25,458
‪然后你就上台

302
00:26:27,166 --> 00:26:28,208
‪然后呢？

303
00:26:28,875 --> 00:26:31,458
‪就依观众的反应行事

304
00:26:31,541 --> 00:26:32,875
‪所以是即兴演出吗？

305
00:26:32,958 --> 00:26:37,375
‪是啊 我会带话题
‪你跟着随意配合就行了

306
00:26:38,666 --> 00:26:40,041
‪可是要怎么随意配合？

307
00:26:40,125 --> 00:26:42,583
‪不然你现在记得住台词吗？

308
00:26:42,666 --> 00:26:45,166
‪怎样？你行不行啊？

309
00:26:45,958 --> 00:26:47,666
‪知道了就快去准备！

310
00:26:47,750 --> 00:26:48,708
‪是

311
00:27:00,083 --> 00:27:01,041
‪喂 阿武

312
00:27:01,958 --> 00:27:03,500
‪-是
‪-你这是在干吗？

313
00:27:04,875 --> 00:27:08,875
‪-我在扮女公关
‪-笨蛋！快把妆卸掉！

314
00:27:09,375 --> 00:27:11,416
‪-可是女公关…
‪-反正给我卸妆！

315
00:27:15,291 --> 00:27:18,958
‪听着 阿武 谐星要靠表演博取笑声

316
00:27:19,041 --> 00:27:23,250
‪如果要用丑妆让众人笑
‪在路上找丑八怪 叫他们上台就行了

317
00:27:24,666 --> 00:27:27,000
‪如果你还是个谐星
‪你就要化身成女人

318
00:27:27,083 --> 00:27:29,583
‪世上有哪个
‪女公关会给自己化丑妆的？

319
00:27:30,708 --> 00:27:33,166
‪要让自己成为全世界最美的女人

320
00:27:33,250 --> 00:27:35,458
‪你要用这样的心态去化妆

321
00:27:36,625 --> 00:27:37,625
‪对不起

322
00:27:38,125 --> 00:27:41,875
‪别的地方我不知道
‪但是要在我这里演戏

323
00:27:42,625 --> 00:27:44,125
‪可不要被人笑

324
00:27:45,708 --> 00:27:47,000
‪而是要逗人笑

325
00:27:50,916 --> 00:27:51,791
‪好的

326
00:27:53,666 --> 00:27:54,708
‪快卸妆

327
00:28:01,833 --> 00:28:03,666
‪-大哥
‪-干吗？

328
00:28:03,750 --> 00:28:06,291
‪托您的福 我钓到了漂亮女人

329
00:28:06,375 --> 00:28:07,208
‪我说得没错吧？

330
00:28:07,291 --> 00:28:10,875
‪那我这就跟那女的上宾馆去

331
00:28:10,958 --> 00:28:12,166
‪好 你去吧

332
00:28:16,458 --> 00:28:20,625
‪好 那我也去钓个漂亮女人

333
00:28:20,708 --> 00:28:22,250
‪唉唷 来了一个

334
00:28:23,833 --> 00:28:27,583
‪这位小姐 要跟我去玩吗？

335
00:28:27,666 --> 00:28:29,250
‪好的 请多指教

336
00:28:29,333 --> 00:28:31,041
‪请多多指教

337
00:28:33,500 --> 00:28:34,875
‪这样短剧不就会结束吗？

338
00:28:35,791 --> 00:28:39,125
‪要拒绝我啊！不行
‪必须不理我 直接走过去

339
00:28:39,208 --> 00:28:42,208
‪这种可疑男子来搭话
‪就不要搭理啊 要快步离开才对

340
00:28:42,291 --> 00:28:43,166
‪-不要搭理
‪-知道了吗？

341
00:28:43,250 --> 00:28:44,250
‪好的

342
00:28:44,333 --> 00:28:47,250
‪这位小姐 要不要跟我去玩啊？

343
00:28:50,541 --> 00:28:52,041
‪总得说些什么吧！

344
00:28:52,125 --> 00:28:55,833
‪-你叫我不要搭理…
‪-不 总得讲两句话啊 回来！

345
00:28:55,916 --> 00:28:58,875
‪要说话跟互动 才能讲段子啊

346
00:28:59,791 --> 00:29:02,666
‪小姐 有什么事吗？

347
00:29:09,458 --> 00:29:11,500
‪就不能快点说吗？

348
00:29:11,583 --> 00:29:14,375
‪既然是个谐星就要找话说啊 快说！

349
00:29:14,458 --> 00:29:17,750
‪我正打算去购物呢

350
00:29:20,000 --> 00:29:22,958
‪喂 这位先生 你不要乱鼓掌

351
00:29:23,458 --> 00:29:26,166
‪他演得那么烂你还鼓掌
‪这样你只会害到他

352
00:29:26,250 --> 00:29:30,291
‪喂 我可是观众耶 跩什么跩啊？

353
00:29:30,791 --> 00:29:32,458
‪你以为你是谁？

354
00:29:35,583 --> 00:29:37,583
‪我是谐星 你这笨蛋

355
00:29:40,083 --> 00:29:44,333
‪没人求你看 有得看是你的荣幸
‪给我乖乖闭嘴看下去！

356
00:29:49,875 --> 00:29:51,791
‪你闭嘴的话要怎么演啦？

357
00:29:52,291 --> 00:29:56,166
‪是谐星的话就得说话
‪拜托讲点有趣的！

358
00:29:57,375 --> 00:30:01,000
‪什么嘛 没礼貌
‪今晚要不要跟我去玩啊？

359
00:30:01,083 --> 00:30:05,708
‪干吗突然抱过来？哪有这种女生？
‪仔细一瞧你根本是个男的嘛！

360
00:30:05,791 --> 00:30:09,250
‪（捕鲸船）

361
00:30:15,375 --> 00:30:17,458
‪阿武 第一次上台结果如何？

362
00:30:17,541 --> 00:30:18,583
‪完全不行

363
00:30:19,291 --> 00:30:22,541
‪结束后被师父嫌弃 他说我演得很烂

364
00:30:22,625 --> 00:30:25,166
‪不觉得他是个别扭的老头吗？

365
00:30:25,250 --> 00:30:26,083
‪真的

366
00:30:26,166 --> 00:30:27,041
‪喂 你怎么这样说？

367
00:30:28,708 --> 00:30:29,833
‪对不起

368
00:30:29,916 --> 00:30:34,750
‪没关系啦 我可是得整天
‪跟他在一起 你们能想象吗？

369
00:30:35,666 --> 00:30:37,250
‪我尊敬你

370
00:30:39,166 --> 00:30:43,041
‪对了 井上 你写出
‪你上次提到的短剧了吗？

371
00:30:43,125 --> 00:30:46,416
‪写了 完成了大纲
‪我打算明天拿给师父看

372
00:30:46,500 --> 00:30:48,375
‪给我好角色吧

373
00:30:49,041 --> 00:30:51,666
‪对喔 井上是编剧

374
00:30:51,750 --> 00:30:56,666
‪没有啦 编剧只是我的目标
‪希望有一天能当上

375
00:30:56,750 --> 00:31:00,083
‪是喔 真好 大家都有梦想

376
00:31:00,166 --> 00:31:03,750
‪你在说什么啊？
‪你自己不是也要当歌手吗？

377
00:31:03,833 --> 00:31:06,291
‪你还说你要站上日本剧场的舞台

378
00:31:06,375 --> 00:31:07,625
‪那是以前…

379
00:31:07,708 --> 00:31:10,875
‪别听她这么说
‪其实她表演结束后都会偷偷练唱

380
00:31:10,958 --> 00:31:14,083
‪少啰唆 干吗讲出来啦？

381
00:31:14,708 --> 00:31:16,583
‪大家吃啊

382
00:31:16,666 --> 00:31:19,875
‪也就是所谓的“吃鲸鱼 长技艺”

383
00:31:19,958 --> 00:31:20,875
‪“技艺”？

384
00:31:21,541 --> 00:31:23,750
‪这个“鲸”字也能念成“技艺”

385
00:31:23,833 --> 00:31:25,416
‪-原来如此
‪-你还好意思说

386
00:31:25,500 --> 00:31:28,250
‪明明刚才问过我那个字怎么念

387
00:31:28,333 --> 00:31:30,666
‪有这回事吗？我不知道你在说什么

388
00:31:30,750 --> 00:31:32,333
‪不要装傻

389
00:31:32,416 --> 00:31:33,583
‪来 吃这个

390
00:31:33,666 --> 00:31:36,125
‪-多吃些吧
‪-阿武 这个也给你吃

391
00:31:36,208 --> 00:31:38,291
‪-来 阿武
‪-那我就不客气了 谢谢

392
00:31:38,375 --> 00:31:39,333
‪谢谢

393
00:31:42,708 --> 00:31:45,166
‪不过观众越来越少了

394
00:31:46,708 --> 00:31:48,833
‪毕竟现在是电视的时代

395
00:31:50,250 --> 00:31:52,541
‪虽然师父好像很讨厌电视

396
00:31:52,625 --> 00:31:55,333
‪他说：“通过那种玩意儿
‪哪能看得出技艺？笨蛋”

397
00:31:55,416 --> 00:31:56,500
‪是啊

398
00:31:57,000 --> 00:32:02,458
‪更别说脱衣舞了
‪现在根本只有老人会来看

399
00:32:04,208 --> 00:32:05,333
‪等一下

400
00:32:09,041 --> 00:32:10,583
‪你在干吗？

401
00:32:10,666 --> 00:32:13,041
‪你在寄恐吓信向人诈财吗？

402
00:32:13,125 --> 00:32:14,458
‪我寄信给我老妈啦

403
00:32:15,708 --> 00:32:19,750
‪我当初离家 撂下狠话说要去当编剧

404
00:32:20,833 --> 00:32:23,875
‪至少得让家人知道我还活着

405
00:32:25,416 --> 00:32:29,125
‪那你也帮我写信给我老妈吧

406
00:32:29,208 --> 00:32:32,333
‪你家不是在梅岛吗？
‪那么近走路都能到

407
00:32:36,208 --> 00:32:38,708
‪因为我已经和过去的人生一刀两断了

408
00:32:41,083 --> 00:32:42,000
‪什么意思？

409
00:32:43,333 --> 00:32:48,416
‪我从大学退学
‪没有人生目标 只是靠打工糊口

410
00:32:49,958 --> 00:32:55,000
‪看到前不久还在搞学生运动的家伙
‪现在居然在认真打领带

411
00:32:55,500 --> 00:32:57,708
‪大家都很精明

412
00:32:57,791 --> 00:32:59,208
‪真受不了

413
00:33:00,375 --> 00:33:03,958
‪只有我一个人
‪过着宛如无业游民的生活

414
00:33:04,916 --> 00:33:08,166
‪感觉好窝囊 又很不甘心

415
00:33:09,583 --> 00:33:11,541
‪所以我才会来到浅草

416
00:33:12,833 --> 00:33:16,208
‪和过去的人生一刀两断
‪决定之后当谐星

417
00:33:18,041 --> 00:33:20,458
‪不念大学来当谐星吗？真浪费

418
00:33:21,541 --> 00:33:23,750
‪什么都不干才叫浪费吧？

419
00:33:25,750 --> 00:33:28,875
‪大家都是这样怀着梦想饿死的

420
00:33:32,458 --> 00:33:35,333
‪那我一定要死得有趣
‪到时候让你大笑

421
00:33:40,000 --> 00:33:42,250
‪难得有这机会 要来参拜吗？

422
00:33:44,166 --> 00:33:45,791
‪可以借我一点钱吗？

423
00:33:45,875 --> 00:33:50,291
‪通常不会用别人的钱来许愿吧？

424
00:33:50,375 --> 00:33:51,208
‪借我一点

425
00:33:51,291 --> 00:33:52,916
‪-你自己有钱吧？
‪-就是没有

426
00:33:53,000 --> 00:33:55,416
‪不 至少有五日元吧

427
00:33:55,500 --> 00:33:56,333
‪没有

428
00:34:05,750 --> 00:34:07,750
‪麻里！

429
00:34:24,583 --> 00:34:27,291
‪麻里跳得真好 好漂亮！

430
00:34:27,375 --> 00:34:29,250
‪真的吗？好开心

431
00:34:29,333 --> 00:34:32,375
‪-这是平时给你的
‪-谢谢 要再来喔

432
00:34:32,458 --> 00:34:34,416
‪-好
‪-不可以去别家

433
00:34:34,500 --> 00:34:36,458
‪我只爱你 下次见！

434
00:34:36,541 --> 00:34:38,333
‪感谢您的捧场！

435
00:34:41,375 --> 00:34:43,208
‪阿武！

436
00:34:43,958 --> 00:34:45,291
‪辛苦了

437
00:34:45,375 --> 00:34:48,625
‪-你大学是念工学院对吧？
‪-是的

438
00:34:48,708 --> 00:34:50,708
‪所以你应该很擅长修机械了？

439
00:34:51,500 --> 00:34:53,750
‪并没有 而且我大学只上了一个礼拜

440
00:34:53,833 --> 00:34:56,791
‪转盘的状况怪怪的 你去帮忙看看吧

441
00:34:56,875 --> 00:34:59,375
‪-我并没有擅长…
‪-这不是三吉先生吗？

442
00:34:59,458 --> 00:35:00,958
‪那就拜托你了

443
00:35:01,041 --> 00:35:04,375
‪这豆皮寿司是人家送的
‪你跟井上分着吃吧

444
00:35:05,791 --> 00:35:10,458
‪谢谢您来捧场啊！真高兴能见到您！

445
00:35:35,583 --> 00:35:36,416
‪喂！

446
00:36:03,000 --> 00:36:03,875
‪修好了吗？

447
00:36:04,458 --> 00:36:06,541
‪我没修过 不晓得

448
00:36:16,958 --> 00:36:19,083
‪不愧是工学院的

449
00:36:19,166 --> 00:36:20,375
‪少啰唆

450
00:37:08,916 --> 00:37:10,958
‪（《国王与王后》 千春）

451
00:38:51,916 --> 00:38:53,750
‪师父 对不起 这是…

452
00:40:00,666 --> 00:40:01,625
‪喂 阿武！

453
00:40:03,875 --> 00:40:05,208
‪刚才师父来了！

454
00:40:14,416 --> 00:40:15,458
‪师父！

455
00:40:16,916 --> 00:40:18,333
‪对不起 擅自穿你的鞋！

456
00:40:20,333 --> 00:40:22,708
‪你这小子竟敢给我胡来

457
00:40:24,125 --> 00:40:28,333
‪算了 那双鞋就给你吧

458
00:40:28,875 --> 00:40:29,708
‪什么？

459
00:40:30,375 --> 00:40:33,333
‪被你这种外行人
‪穿过一次的鞋 我还能穿吗？

460
00:40:35,041 --> 00:40:36,166
‪谢谢师父！

461
00:40:36,666 --> 00:40:37,583
‪给我500日元

462
00:40:38,750 --> 00:40:41,625
‪什么？不是免费送我的啊？

463
00:40:41,708 --> 00:40:46,708
‪你怎么这么不要脸啊？
‪知道那双鞋要多少钱吗？干吗送你…

464
00:40:46,791 --> 00:40:48,875
‪没关系 我买

465
00:40:49,791 --> 00:40:51,125
‪谢谢师父

466
00:40:51,708 --> 00:40:53,666
‪-真受不了你
‪-对了 师父！

467
00:40:54,375 --> 00:40:55,583
‪那个…

468
00:40:56,541 --> 00:40:58,583
‪请再教我新的舞步

469
00:41:00,375 --> 00:41:02,000
‪我拒绝 笨蛋

470
00:41:03,041 --> 00:41:03,875
‪什么？

471
00:41:05,916 --> 00:41:07,875
‪已经没舞步可以教你了啦！

472
00:41:12,708 --> 00:41:14,083
‪明天来后台休息室

473
00:41:16,041 --> 00:41:17,458
‪不要忘了带500日元！

474
00:41:23,041 --> 00:41:24,750
‪-早安！
‪-早安！

475
00:41:24,833 --> 00:41:26,291
‪有长崎蛋糕喔 拿去吃吧

476
00:41:26,375 --> 00:41:28,208
‪-看起来好好吃
‪-太好了

477
00:41:29,000 --> 00:41:29,875
‪什么？

478
00:41:30,916 --> 00:41:32,250
‪你没听到吗？

479
00:41:33,041 --> 00:41:36,166
‪我会让你以谐星的身份正式登台

480
00:41:36,666 --> 00:41:39,500
‪真的吗？谢谢师父

481
00:41:39,583 --> 00:41:40,958
‪阿武 恭喜你啊

482
00:41:42,125 --> 00:41:44,875
‪你还要负责节目执行 可别累垮了

483
00:41:44,958 --> 00:41:46,708
‪节目执行吗？

484
00:41:46,791 --> 00:41:51,208
‪譬如管理小道具、整理舞台装
‪总之就是什么都得做

485
00:41:51,958 --> 00:41:54,000
‪有不懂的就去问高山

486
00:41:54,708 --> 00:41:55,791
‪要麻烦你了

487
00:41:56,875 --> 00:42:01,458
‪还有啊 你一直睡在后台休息室
‪你没有能住的地方吧？

488
00:42:01,541 --> 00:42:02,541
‪是的

489
00:42:02,625 --> 00:42:06,875
‪刚好我家楼下空出来了
‪我已经帮你跟房东谈好了

490
00:42:07,750 --> 00:42:10,291
‪谢谢师父 还请你多照顾

491
00:42:10,375 --> 00:42:13,250
‪-那就先从这个开始吧
‪-好的

492
00:42:15,291 --> 00:42:18,250
‪那我就来休息一下好了

493
00:42:18,333 --> 00:42:19,541
‪-高山
‪-是

494
00:42:19,625 --> 00:42:21,333
‪-帮我擦鞋子
‪-什么？

495
00:42:21,416 --> 00:42:22,250
‪有问题吗？

496
00:42:54,708 --> 00:42:56,208
‪-真的吗？
‪-太好了

497
00:42:56,291 --> 00:42:57,291
‪那我也来试试看吧

498
00:42:57,375 --> 00:42:59,500
‪-很好啊
‪-已经来不及了吗？

499
00:42:59,583 --> 00:43:01,125
‪-真的吗？
‪-真的

500
00:43:01,208 --> 00:43:04,000
‪因为阿弘说他想穿

501
00:43:04,083 --> 00:43:05,583
‪千春小姐 你是下一个 麻烦你了

502
00:43:05,666 --> 00:43:06,625
‪好的

503
00:43:10,375 --> 00:43:12,916
‪对了 阿武 帮我拉拉链

504
00:43:15,541 --> 00:43:17,875
‪-今天的观众有点难搞
‪-这样啊

505
00:43:18,541 --> 00:43:20,375
‪那我去好好表现

506
00:43:29,291 --> 00:43:33,708
‪（第二松仓庄）

507
00:43:35,875 --> 00:43:41,208
‪加上102室 共两间房 所以要找你…

508
00:43:41,291 --> 00:43:43,250
‪不用找了

509
00:43:43,333 --> 00:43:47,791
‪真的吗？师父
‪谢谢你啊 你总是这么大方

510
00:43:48,458 --> 00:43:51,416
‪-那么晚安
‪-好

511
00:43:51,500 --> 00:43:53,583
‪麻里 晚安

512
00:43:53,666 --> 00:43:56,333
‪好的 晚安

513
00:43:56,416 --> 00:43:57,458
‪谢谢你

514
00:44:02,875 --> 00:44:04,375
‪阿武如何？

515
00:44:04,458 --> 00:44:05,375
‪什么？

516
00:44:06,458 --> 00:44:07,500
‪这个嘛…

517
00:44:08,166 --> 00:44:10,875
‪还不晓得

518
00:44:11,375 --> 00:44:15,416
‪但你连房子都帮他租了
‪肯定是对他抱有期待吧？

519
00:44:15,500 --> 00:44:17,833
‪是啊 算是吧

520
00:44:19,041 --> 00:44:22,458
‪他说不定可以成功

521
00:44:27,250 --> 00:44:28,166
‪我问你

522
00:44:30,666 --> 00:44:32,791
‪我去当艺伎怎么样？

523
00:44:33,708 --> 00:44:34,541
‪什么？

524
00:44:35,125 --> 00:44:38,000
‪这样的话比起跳舞 能赚到更多钱

525
00:44:38,083 --> 00:44:42,291
‪你在说什么啊？
‪这又不是你该操心的问题

526
00:44:43,000 --> 00:44:45,125
‪那该由谁来操心？

527
00:44:45,208 --> 00:44:48,791
‪说话啊 你愿意来操心吗？

528
00:44:50,416 --> 00:44:52,833
‪-是吗？
‪-没事的！

529
00:44:52,916 --> 00:44:56,000
‪观众很快就会回来的

530
00:44:56,666 --> 00:45:00,750
‪再怎么说 我可是浅草的深见啊

531
00:45:04,708 --> 00:45:10,000
‪如果你去当艺伎 一定会变红牌

532
00:45:10,083 --> 00:45:14,791
‪我会忍不住经常去找你
‪结果反而花更多钱

533
00:45:15,875 --> 00:45:17,958
‪对吧 麻里？

534
00:45:18,458 --> 00:45:20,166
‪那样更花钱啊

535
00:45:21,875 --> 00:45:26,125
‪我觉得引子设计得
‪明了易懂些会不会比较好？

536
00:45:26,208 --> 00:45:30,791
‪可是做太多说明
‪感觉像在宣告接下来要装傻搞笑

537
00:45:30,875 --> 00:45:31,916
‪说得也是

538
00:45:32,666 --> 00:45:36,291
‪但我觉得那样也行
‪总之先试一次看看

539
00:45:38,041 --> 00:45:40,416
‪-虽然我不太喜欢
‪-为什么啦？

540
00:45:48,125 --> 00:45:50,625
‪-那我出去一下
‪-好

541
00:45:52,833 --> 00:45:55,541
‪唉唷 我都忘了

542
00:45:57,250 --> 00:45:58,875
‪真伤脑筋

543
00:46:28,000 --> 00:46:28,833
‪拿去

544
00:46:30,166 --> 00:46:33,333
‪不好意思啊 要不要买什么回来？

545
00:46:34,541 --> 00:46:35,833
‪貂皮

546
00:46:37,666 --> 00:46:40,791
‪知道了 如果我买了
‪“橘子皮”可别骂我

547
00:46:41,875 --> 00:46:43,541
‪我要貂皮！

548
00:46:46,083 --> 00:46:48,166
‪就看你怎么做…

549
00:46:48,250 --> 00:46:49,583
‪师父 辛苦了

550
00:46:49,666 --> 00:46:52,833
‪是你们两个啊 怎么了吗？

551
00:46:53,333 --> 00:46:55,541
‪没事 只是排练一下短剧

552
00:46:55,625 --> 00:46:58,625
‪排练？说得像是专业人士

553
00:46:58,708 --> 00:47:00,458
‪正好 要不要一起去吃饭？

554
00:47:00,541 --> 00:47:04,041
‪怎么又正好了？
‪师父 你昨天也是这么说的

555
00:47:05,000 --> 00:47:06,083
‪少啰唆 笨蛋

556
00:47:06,166 --> 00:47:08,041
‪-到底要不要去？
‪-要去

557
00:47:08,125 --> 00:47:09,375
‪-我也要
‪-我好饿

558
00:47:09,458 --> 00:47:11,000
‪你们这些家伙一开始就这样说嘛

559
00:47:11,625 --> 00:47:12,875
‪你们想吃什么？

560
00:47:12,958 --> 00:47:14,375
‪-寿司
‪-寿司

561
00:47:14,458 --> 00:47:18,708
‪寿司？你们就不会体贴我吗？

562
00:47:18,791 --> 00:47:20,333
‪-那就鳗鱼吧
‪-那还不是一样

563
00:47:20,416 --> 00:47:22,291
‪-这很体贴
‪-都很贵好吗？

564
00:47:23,125 --> 00:47:24,625
‪乌冬面行吗？

565
00:47:28,833 --> 00:47:30,791
‪这是您的啤酒

566
00:47:30,875 --> 00:47:33,333
‪不用帮我斟酒啦

567
00:47:35,416 --> 00:47:36,500
‪快吃啊

568
00:47:39,541 --> 00:47:44,083
‪我老早就想跟你们说
‪你们那是什么打扮？

569
00:47:44,833 --> 00:47:45,750
‪什么？

570
00:47:45,833 --> 00:47:48,208
‪谐星就要穿体面一点的好衣服

571
00:47:48,708 --> 00:47:53,291
‪不管在舞台上怎么装疯卖傻
‪下了台就要让人觉得帅

572
00:47:53,375 --> 00:47:54,375
‪知道吗？

573
00:47:56,333 --> 00:47:57,875
‪可是我是编剧

574
00:47:58,458 --> 00:48:02,541
‪什么？是啊
‪所以我这话又不是在跟你说

575
00:48:02,625 --> 00:48:04,333
‪你明明就在对他说

576
00:48:04,416 --> 00:48:05,666
‪你闭嘴啦！

577
00:48:06,166 --> 00:48:07,375
‪阿武 你听着

578
00:48:07,458 --> 00:48:09,250
‪人要穿好衣服

579
00:48:09,333 --> 00:48:12,541
‪哪怕三天没吃饭 别人也看不出来

580
00:48:12,625 --> 00:48:14,750
‪但是身上穿什么大家都看得很清楚

581
00:48:16,750 --> 00:48:18,500
‪那你帮我加薪吧

582
00:48:20,000 --> 00:48:23,916
‪真是讨厌 我又不是在跟你说这个

583
00:48:24,416 --> 00:48:27,583
‪对了 我想起来了
‪你还没给我500日元

584
00:48:27,666 --> 00:48:28,791
‪对喔

585
00:48:28,875 --> 00:48:31,000
‪我那可不是白白送你的

586
00:48:34,375 --> 00:48:36,500
‪师父 谢谢您常来本店

587
00:48:36,583 --> 00:48:38,333
‪嗯 今天也很好吃喔

588
00:48:38,416 --> 00:48:40,875
‪-谢谢 下次请再来
‪-感谢招待

589
00:48:41,583 --> 00:48:42,541
‪笨蛋！

590
00:48:43,791 --> 00:48:44,875
‪看看那个

591
00:48:47,708 --> 00:48:49,125
‪要拿那双鞋给我啊

592
00:48:49,916 --> 00:48:50,750
‪什么？

593
00:48:50,833 --> 00:48:52,250
‪然后我会穿上那双鞋

594
00:48:52,333 --> 00:48:54,500
‪“奇怪 我是不是变高了？”

595
00:48:54,583 --> 00:48:56,416
‪我会吐槽说：“你这个笨蛋！”

596
00:48:57,250 --> 00:48:58,750
‪就是要这样学习

597
00:49:00,208 --> 00:49:03,833
‪要是你平时不装傻搞笑
‪在舞台上又怎么可能做得到？

598
00:49:06,458 --> 00:49:08,375
‪既然是谐星就要记得随时装傻搞笑

599
00:49:09,208 --> 00:49:10,083
‪好的

600
00:49:10,958 --> 00:49:12,583
‪-走吧
‪-谢谢惠顾

601
00:49:12,666 --> 00:49:14,500
‪-那我走了
‪-欢迎再来

602
00:49:26,833 --> 00:49:27,708
‪我问你

603
00:49:32,541 --> 00:49:36,541
‪我一直很好奇 师父他的左手…

604
00:49:39,083 --> 00:49:40,791
‪嗯 你说那个啊

605
00:49:42,791 --> 00:49:47,083
‪据说是战争时期在军需工场受的伤

606
00:49:48,583 --> 00:49:52,000
‪被生产带卷进去 这里以上全没了

607
00:49:53,708 --> 00:49:55,708
‪所以他总是用绷带掩饰

608
00:49:55,791 --> 00:49:57,291
‪原来是这样啊

609
00:50:01,041 --> 00:50:05,541
‪但他偏偏会用那些指头灵巧地弹吉他

610
00:50:05,625 --> 00:50:07,541
‪师父他真是厉害

611
00:50:09,166 --> 00:50:10,250
‪你们说我怎样？

612
00:50:10,333 --> 00:50:13,333
‪您来了 早安

613
00:50:13,416 --> 00:50:14,625
‪-让开
‪-早安

614
00:50:14,708 --> 00:50:16,833
‪少在那边说“早安” 笨蛋

615
00:50:16,916 --> 00:50:19,541
‪偷偷在人背后嚼舌根

616
00:50:19,625 --> 00:50:21,458
‪我们哪有？

617
00:50:38,500 --> 00:50:39,416
‪师父

618
00:50:41,083 --> 00:50:43,166
‪-干吗？
‪-我是听高山先生说的

619
00:50:44,541 --> 00:50:45,833
‪你那只左手…

620
00:50:48,958 --> 00:50:50,125
‪我左手怎么了吗？

621
00:50:54,250 --> 00:50:57,375
‪听说是你饿得受不了
‪自己吃掉的 请问是真的吗？

622
00:51:08,000 --> 00:51:11,333
‪笨蛋 我又不是章鱼
‪我干吗要吃自己的手？

623
00:51:11,416 --> 00:51:13,500
‪我肚子没那么饿好吗？笨蛋！

624
00:51:14,000 --> 00:51:18,833
‪可是这样游泳很不方便耶
‪游着游着就会向左弯

625
00:51:18,916 --> 00:51:21,958
‪没错 游着游着就游回原地了

626
00:51:22,041 --> 00:51:22,875
‪你给我闭嘴！笨蛋

627
00:51:22,958 --> 00:51:25,416
‪-别看我这样 我擅长游泳
‪-是吗？

628
00:51:25,500 --> 00:51:28,333
‪可是每次比赛
‪我总是输别人一个手掌

629
00:51:28,416 --> 00:51:30,250
‪笨蛋！我不要再说了

630
00:51:30,333 --> 00:51:33,791
‪（浅草法兰西座）

631
00:51:33,875 --> 00:51:34,750
‪你不是大人吗？

632
00:51:34,833 --> 00:51:37,250
‪-我是小孩
‪-小孩？你不要胡说

633
00:51:37,333 --> 00:51:39,500
‪-那你几岁？
‪-我8岁

634
00:51:39,583 --> 00:51:40,541
‪8岁？

635
00:51:40,625 --> 00:51:42,583
‪这怎么看都超过30岁了吧

636
00:51:42,666 --> 00:51:44,666
‪叔叔 我真的只有8岁

637
00:51:44,750 --> 00:51:46,083
‪8岁？太扯了

638
00:51:46,166 --> 00:51:49,708
‪那小弟弟 你今天都做了什么啊？

639
00:51:49,791 --> 00:51:51,666
‪今天我去了动物园

640
00:51:51,750 --> 00:51:52,708
‪动物园？

641
00:51:52,791 --> 00:51:56,958
‪动物园里有好多马
‪我一开心就把钱全押进去了

642
00:51:57,041 --> 00:52:00,125
‪你那是去赌马吧 那里不叫动物园！

643
00:52:00,208 --> 00:52:05,125
‪不过东八真是不简单啊
‪听说最近每家电视台都在找你上节目

644
00:52:05,208 --> 00:52:07,000
‪没有啦

645
00:52:07,541 --> 00:52:10,166
‪你这嚣张的小子 现在也出人头地了

646
00:52:10,708 --> 00:52:11,750
‪这都要感谢师父

647
00:52:13,916 --> 00:52:18,708
‪话说回来 那个叫阿武的小伙子
‪才多久没见就进步很多啊

648
00:52:18,791 --> 00:52:20,708
‪-是吗？
‪-是啊

649
00:52:20,791 --> 00:52:25,000
‪最近甚至有不少观众
‪是专程来看他的短剧

650
00:52:26,416 --> 00:52:29,416
‪那小子说不定会成功喔

651
00:52:29,500 --> 00:52:30,625
‪这样啊

652
00:52:33,291 --> 00:52:34,791
‪话说师父啊

653
00:52:37,083 --> 00:52:41,250
‪我听到了一些传言

654
00:52:45,125 --> 00:52:46,583
‪实在不好意思问

655
00:52:48,083 --> 00:52:51,708
‪但最近这里的经营
‪是不是相当困难啊？

656
00:52:52,958 --> 00:52:53,916
‪什么？

657
00:52:57,291 --> 00:52:58,125
‪是啊

658
00:52:58,708 --> 00:53:01,333
‪经营困难也不是一两天的事了

659
00:53:03,916 --> 00:53:09,333
‪是这样的 我有个徒弟开了一间公司

660
00:53:10,166 --> 00:53:15,166
‪他说公司目前还可以多雇一个人
‪你要不要去试试看？

661
00:53:20,875 --> 00:53:22,208
‪你这话什么意思？

662
00:53:22,958 --> 00:53:26,875
‪你是要我离开舞台吗？

663
00:53:28,291 --> 00:53:29,958
‪师父也明白吧？

664
00:53:30,916 --> 00:53:32,333
‪时代不一样了

665
00:53:33,291 --> 00:53:37,416
‪不管是法兰西座 还是浅草
‪人都越来越少了

666
00:53:38,000 --> 00:53:40,416
‪差不多是时候把这里让出去
‪或者干脆关闭…

667
00:53:40,500 --> 00:53:41,375
‪你给我闭嘴！

668
00:53:42,583 --> 00:53:44,416
‪时代不一样了？

669
00:53:44,958 --> 00:53:46,416
‪是谁害的？

670
00:53:46,916 --> 00:53:49,875
‪不就是抛弃浅草
‪转投电视的你们这些人吗？

671
00:53:49,958 --> 00:53:53,875
{\an8}‪不是的 师父
‪你过去对我有恩 我是想要帮你…

672
00:53:53,958 --> 00:53:57,833
‪你难得过来看我
‪竟然是来讲这种废话

673
00:53:57,916 --> 00:53:59,125
‪你给我回去！

674
00:54:00,583 --> 00:54:02,500
‪-师父…
‪-回去！

675
00:54:07,791 --> 00:54:11,666
‪不必现在做决定 你考虑一下吧

676
00:54:21,458 --> 00:54:23,583
‪凡事拿第一名不是很好吗？

677
00:54:23,666 --> 00:54:26,750
‪如果成绩不怎么样
‪进个不怎么样的大学

678
00:54:26,833 --> 00:54:29,083
‪最后也就是当个不怎么样的初中老师

679
00:54:29,166 --> 00:54:30,583
‪你是在嘲笑我吗？

680
00:54:32,083 --> 00:54:32,916
‪你觉得怎样？

681
00:54:33,833 --> 00:54:34,916
‪什么？

682
00:54:35,791 --> 00:54:37,958
‪我又不懂短剧漫才

683
00:54:38,041 --> 00:54:40,583
‪你就用观众的角度坦白说

684
00:54:43,250 --> 00:54:45,083
‪前半段比较有趣

685
00:54:45,166 --> 00:54:49,500
‪没错 就是从中间开始变差的

686
00:55:01,458 --> 00:55:02,291
‪怎么了？

687
00:55:03,416 --> 00:55:05,416
‪不 没事

688
00:55:08,750 --> 00:55:10,125
‪话说…

689
00:55:12,166 --> 00:55:16,000
‪渥美清和萩本钦一这些人

690
00:55:17,125 --> 00:55:18,791
‪都曾经站在这里不是吗？

691
00:55:20,583 --> 00:55:26,166
‪我就在想象他们是不是
‪也像我们一样在这里排戏？

692
00:55:28,291 --> 00:55:31,375
‪这么一想就感觉真是不得了

693
00:55:33,916 --> 00:55:38,166
‪阿武 你真觉得自己
‪能变得跟阿钦一样吗？

694
00:55:38,250 --> 00:55:40,416
‪我如果没这么想 就不会进这行了

695
00:55:45,916 --> 00:55:49,333
‪-千春也可以唱歌啊
‪-什么？

696
00:55:49,916 --> 00:55:52,958
‪我想过 你歌唱得这么好

697
00:55:53,041 --> 00:55:56,333
‪既然脱衣舞秀的空档可以演短剧
‪为什么不能唱歌呢？

698
00:55:57,125 --> 00:55:58,666
‪我对唱歌已经…

699
00:55:59,250 --> 00:56:01,375
‪你的歌喉绝对值得人付钱

700
00:56:02,708 --> 00:56:04,416
‪井上他会弹吉他

701
00:56:04,500 --> 00:56:05,916
‪-对吧？
‪-什么？

702
00:56:06,000 --> 00:56:07,708
‪-吉他
‪-对

703
00:56:08,208 --> 00:56:10,625
‪阿武 我把这里改了一下…

704
00:56:13,833 --> 00:56:16,666
‪明天我会跟师父建议 好吗？

705
00:56:16,750 --> 00:56:18,958
‪“墙壁都熏成咖啡色”

706
00:56:21,083 --> 00:56:23,083
‪“你都抽哪个牌子的烟？”

707
00:56:23,583 --> 00:56:26,416
‪“这位爸爸 给我一杯酒吧”

708
00:56:27,666 --> 00:56:28,750
‪好

709
00:56:28,833 --> 00:56:29,833
‪觉得怎样？

710
00:56:31,291 --> 00:56:33,583
‪-这里可以这样改…
‪-好

711
00:56:33,666 --> 00:56:38,000
‪下周三有一个人不能来
‪我觉得可以让千春试试

712
00:56:38,083 --> 00:56:42,666
‪既然得填满那空出的15分钟

713
00:56:43,291 --> 00:56:45,666
‪我就想到她歌唱得不错

714
00:56:48,000 --> 00:56:49,625
‪唱歌吗？

715
00:56:50,500 --> 00:56:51,708
‪我是没意见啦

716
00:56:51,791 --> 00:56:53,000
‪真的吗？

717
00:56:53,583 --> 00:56:55,333
‪-可是阿武…
‪-千春！

718
00:56:56,416 --> 00:56:57,500
‪师父答应了

719
00:56:59,708 --> 00:57:00,958
‪真的可以吗？

720
00:57:02,333 --> 00:57:03,166
‪可以啊

721
00:57:05,208 --> 00:57:06,916
‪谢谢师父

722
00:57:07,000 --> 00:57:09,750
‪下周三我会担任主持人

723
00:57:09,833 --> 00:57:13,208
‪到时就隆重介绍你出场

724
00:57:22,541 --> 00:57:25,875
‪-井上 那就拜托你了
‪-好

725
00:57:26,791 --> 00:57:28,083
‪（人）

726
00:57:34,208 --> 00:57:36,958
‪什么嘛 想不到你也有可爱的一面

727
00:57:37,041 --> 00:57:38,250
‪少啰唆

728
00:57:38,333 --> 00:57:39,166
‪写“鲸”如何？

729
00:57:53,708 --> 00:57:54,916
‪加油

730
00:58:02,500 --> 00:58:05,916
‪好的 气氛很热烈

731
00:58:06,000 --> 00:58:12,958
‪今晚我们还特别安排了
‪千春小姐来为大家唱一首歌

732
00:58:13,541 --> 00:58:17,250
‪那就有请千春小姐
‪请大家用掌声欢迎！

733
00:58:55,000 --> 00:59:01,083
‪如果强尼来了请转告他

734
00:59:02,083 --> 00:59:06,833
‪我等了他两个钟头

735
00:59:08,541 --> 00:59:15,500
‪离开时满面春风

736
00:59:16,541 --> 00:59:22,791
‪请趁喝酒的时候告诉他

737
00:59:23,791 --> 00:59:30,208
‪如果你算是朋友

738
00:59:30,791 --> 00:59:35,375
‪请你婉转地跟他说

739
00:59:37,916 --> 00:59:42,791
‪我会搭下一班巴士离去

740
00:59:44,458 --> 00:59:49,208
‪可能往西 也可能往东

741
00:59:52,250 --> 00:59:53,958
‪不知不觉间

742
00:59:56,166 --> 00:59:59,166
‪来到了荒凉的小镇

743
01:00:00,166 --> 01:00:07,125
‪这样一座小镇

744
01:00:17,291 --> 01:00:18,750
‪精彩！

745
01:00:32,000 --> 01:00:35,500
‪歌是唱得不错
‪不过差不多也该脱了吧！

746
01:00:44,208 --> 01:00:48,000
‪强尼说他想看你的胸部！

747
01:00:48,083 --> 01:00:50,666
‪-胸部！
‪-胸部！

748
01:00:58,000 --> 01:01:00,375
‪别这么急嘛

749
01:01:10,750 --> 01:01:12,041
‪再来！

750
01:01:16,291 --> 01:01:17,875
‪剩下的等会儿再说

751
01:01:21,166 --> 01:01:23,416
‪等等啊！喂！

752
01:01:24,583 --> 01:01:27,000
‪喂！

753
01:01:40,000 --> 01:01:40,916
‪嗨

754
01:01:41,416 --> 01:01:42,500
‪好久不见

755
01:01:44,041 --> 01:01:45,583
‪师父他不在

756
01:01:45,666 --> 01:01:47,041
‪没关系

757
01:01:47,666 --> 01:01:48,500
‪我问你

758
01:01:49,625 --> 01:01:50,666
‪你肚子会饿吗？

759
01:01:54,291 --> 01:01:57,500
‪你离开法兰西座之后过得如何？

760
01:01:58,291 --> 01:02:01,291
‪嗯 我就是想找你谈这个

761
01:02:03,500 --> 01:02:08,375
‪阿武 要不要跟我一起说漫才？

762
01:02:09,458 --> 01:02:10,291
‪漫才？

763
01:02:10,875 --> 01:02:13,541
‪对 要不要合作？

764
01:02:15,666 --> 01:02:18,375
‪我跟你说 今后的主流是漫才

765
01:02:19,083 --> 01:02:22,666
‪只要有一支麦克风就能演
‪而且全国各地都能演

766
01:02:23,166 --> 01:02:26,833
‪演得好的话还能上电视 赚到很多钱

767
01:02:26,916 --> 01:02:28,416
‪还能开进口车

768
01:02:29,666 --> 01:02:32,625
‪干吗突然说这个？我对漫才没兴趣

769
01:02:33,750 --> 01:02:36,166
‪既然你有一身本事

770
01:02:36,750 --> 01:02:39,416
‪都不会想要出去闯闯看
‪测试实力吗？

771
01:02:39,500 --> 01:02:42,000
‪我出去闯 那法兰西座怎么办？

772
01:02:44,625 --> 01:02:46,291
‪要是我离开了…

773
01:02:47,458 --> 01:02:51,583
‪师父当初也很照顾我
‪所以我实在不想这样说

774
01:02:52,541 --> 01:02:56,083
‪但老实讲 法兰西座恐怕快不行了吧

775
01:02:56,583 --> 01:02:58,375
‪看观众人数也知道

776
01:03:01,500 --> 01:03:02,916
‪所以我更不能走

777
01:03:04,250 --> 01:03:06,583
‪现在要是我走了 这里怎么办？

778
01:03:08,291 --> 01:03:11,208
‪这话也有道理

779
01:03:12,916 --> 01:03:14,666
‪但阿武你自己的意愿呢？

780
01:03:15,166 --> 01:03:18,000
‪你是真心想演喜剧吧？

781
01:03:19,625 --> 01:03:23,875
‪伤脑筋 都没有牌可以拿 看我的！

782
01:03:23,958 --> 01:03:26,291
‪好耶 三光啦！

783
01:03:26,375 --> 01:03:29,083
‪你怎么还有牌？等一下

784
01:03:29,166 --> 01:03:33,708
‪给我吧 还可以继续玩啊 来吧！

785
01:03:35,083 --> 01:03:35,916
‪好牌

786
01:03:36,000 --> 01:03:37,875
‪阿武 电视转台

787
01:03:37,958 --> 01:03:38,791
‪-好
‪-50日元

788
01:03:38,875 --> 01:03:41,083
‪继续看这个 运气都背了

789
01:03:41,166 --> 01:03:45,833
‪-谢谢啊
‪-难怪没劲 原来是漫才这无聊的东西

790
01:03:45,916 --> 01:03:48,291
‪-还不快发牌
‪-我不想再玩了

791
01:03:48,375 --> 01:03:52,958
‪（松竹演艺场）

792
01:03:53,041 --> 01:03:56,875
‪-我知道我有点晚婚
‪-不是有点 是太晚了

793
01:03:56,958 --> 01:03:59,250
‪-因为我全心打拼事业
‪-是找不到对象吧

794
01:03:59,333 --> 01:04:01,791
‪-我有对象 所以我结婚了
‪-对方应该是放弃了

795
01:04:01,875 --> 01:04:03,000
‪你闭嘴！

796
01:04:03,083 --> 01:04:05,208
‪想说再找大概也没希望了

797
01:04:05,291 --> 01:04:08,625
‪不过等待还是值得的
‪到场宾客300多人

798
01:04:08,708 --> 01:04:11,458
‪-你还宴客啊？
‪-政界、财金界、演艺圈

799
01:04:11,541 --> 01:04:15,875
‪连赤贝、象拔蚌、扇贝都请了
‪但可惜的是…

800
01:04:15,958 --> 01:04:19,166
‪喂 不准抽烟！壁纸都熏成咖啡色了

801
01:04:19,250 --> 01:04:20,875
‪这不是重点好吗？

802
01:04:20,958 --> 01:04:24,250
‪-我们这房子是租的 懂不懂啊？
‪-这位爸爸 重点不在这里

803
01:04:24,333 --> 01:04:29,000
‪-老师 学校房子也是用租的吗？
‪-这位爸爸 你听我说

804
01:04:29,083 --> 01:04:32,416
‪现在令郎可能只是抽烟

805
01:04:32,500 --> 01:04:36,458
‪但抽烟接下来就会是扒窃
‪再接下来就是吸胶了

806
01:04:36,541 --> 01:04:41,416
‪吸胶再接下来就是坐牢了
‪违法犯纪的事是越来越严重

807
01:04:42,708 --> 01:04:44,625
‪阿武！

808
01:04:46,500 --> 01:04:47,333
‪什么事？

809
01:04:47,416 --> 01:04:48,708
‪你喂皮皮了吗？

810
01:04:49,708 --> 01:04:50,541
‪什么？

811
01:04:51,541 --> 01:04:54,166
‪你有没有喂鹦鹉？

812
01:04:54,875 --> 01:04:56,208
‪对不起

813
01:04:56,291 --> 01:05:01,125
‪我不要你道歉
‪我不是一再叮咛你要记得喂吗？

814
01:05:01,750 --> 01:05:03,416
‪因为我忙着准备短剧

815
01:05:04,416 --> 01:05:05,458
‪短剧？

816
01:05:08,708 --> 01:05:12,250
‪有句话我一直想跟你说

817
01:05:12,958 --> 01:05:14,458
‪你有没有搞错啊？

818
01:05:15,250 --> 01:05:16,083
‪小幸

819
01:05:16,166 --> 01:05:20,000
‪这里的观众都是来看我们的裸体

820
01:05:20,083 --> 01:05:22,541
‪来看我们的胸部

821
01:05:22,625 --> 01:05:24,958
‪他们不是来看短剧 也不是来听歌的

822
01:05:27,000 --> 01:05:31,291
‪你们的职责就是让我们能专心跳舞

823
01:05:31,375 --> 01:05:33,375
‪短剧只是过场

824
01:05:33,458 --> 01:05:35,666
‪小幸 你不要再说了

825
01:05:35,750 --> 01:05:37,166
‪阿武 你可以走了

826
01:05:40,958 --> 01:05:42,625
‪姐姐 我说错了吗？

827
01:06:32,791 --> 01:06:36,000
‪（禁止打手枪）

828
01:07:24,833 --> 01:07:26,041
‪欢迎光临

829
01:07:30,166 --> 01:07:32,250
‪抱歉 我来晚了

830
01:07:32,916 --> 01:07:34,916
‪-今天喝什么？
‪-一样的就行了

831
01:07:35,000 --> 01:07:35,833
‪好的

832
01:07:36,333 --> 01:07:37,291
‪怎么了吗？

833
01:07:38,958 --> 01:07:42,458
‪没有啦 就是那个

834
01:07:43,250 --> 01:07:44,291
‪哪个？

835
01:07:45,708 --> 01:07:47,375
‪你上次提到的那个

836
01:07:48,916 --> 01:07:50,541
‪说漫才那件事

837
01:07:53,250 --> 01:07:55,541
‪什么？所以你的意思…

838
01:08:19,375 --> 01:08:21,916
‪高山 要不要来下一局？

839
01:08:22,000 --> 01:08:24,208
‪不 我不玩

840
01:08:24,291 --> 01:08:28,291
‪搞什么？徒弟怎么可以拒绝师父？

841
01:08:28,375 --> 01:08:32,125
‪那师父就好意思赢徒弟的钱吗？

842
01:08:33,083 --> 01:08:34,833
‪你只要赢我就行了啊

843
01:08:35,500 --> 01:08:36,708
‪来玩吧

844
01:08:37,708 --> 01:08:41,416
‪阿武你来了！你愿意接受挑战吧？

845
01:08:43,083 --> 01:08:46,833
‪看到了吗？这点就是你和他的不同

846
01:08:47,625 --> 01:08:50,166
‪这种决心也会表现在舞台上

847
01:08:50,250 --> 01:08:52,875
‪那就照平常那样 一点算10日元

848
01:08:55,666 --> 01:08:56,916
‪我不干了

849
01:08:57,875 --> 01:08:59,041
‪搞什么啊？

850
01:09:01,000 --> 01:09:04,083
‪你这小子
‪该不会想玩50日元一点吧？

851
01:09:05,250 --> 01:09:09,666
‪可以啊 我接受你的挑战 放马过来！

852
01:09:09,750 --> 01:09:11,416
‪我不是这个意思

853
01:09:15,416 --> 01:09:16,458
‪你怎么了？

854
01:09:19,083 --> 01:09:20,791
‪我要离开法兰西座

855
01:09:26,416 --> 01:09:29,125
‪请让我离开这里
‪到外面闯天下 我想一决胜负

856
01:09:37,958 --> 01:09:39,916
‪我决定要去说漫才

857
01:09:45,416 --> 01:09:49,291
‪我要和以前在这里的阿清
‪一起搭档说漫才

858
01:09:49,375 --> 01:09:51,291
‪你这小子在胡说八道什么？

859
01:09:51,375 --> 01:09:54,583
‪不过会了一点短剧 就想出去闯荡？

860
01:09:54,666 --> 01:09:58,583
‪像你这种半吊子的家伙
‪出去又能做什么？笨蛋

861
01:09:59,125 --> 01:10:03,291
‪而且还是说漫才？
‪你都在我底下学了什么？笨蛋

862
01:10:03,375 --> 01:10:06,625
‪漫才根本算不上是表演！

863
01:10:06,708 --> 01:10:11,166
‪不过就是两个人站着聊天
‪这样好意思跟观众收钱？

864
01:10:12,583 --> 01:10:15,416
‪这里几乎已经没有付钱的观众了啊

865
01:10:16,666 --> 01:10:18,083
‪你说什么？

866
01:10:18,166 --> 01:10:20,291
‪待在这里也没办法上电视

867
01:10:24,458 --> 01:10:28,291
‪师父对你这么好
‪你怎么可以这样对他说话？

868
01:10:31,000 --> 01:10:33,666
‪难道要我们在这里饿死吗？

869
01:10:35,833 --> 01:10:36,875
‪什么？

870
01:10:36,958 --> 01:10:40,208
‪逗那些来看裸体的观众笑
‪我又能得到什么？

871
01:10:41,125 --> 01:10:44,625
‪就算我博得满堂大笑 又有什么用？

872
01:10:45,500 --> 01:10:47,416
‪阿武 你怎么了？

873
01:10:51,166 --> 01:10:52,083
‪喂

874
01:10:54,916 --> 01:10:57,500
‪你说得快让我笑掉大牙了 阿武

875
01:10:58,833 --> 01:11:02,041
‪你什么时候这么会说笑话了？

876
01:11:08,375 --> 01:11:10,541
‪是师父你训练出来的

877
01:11:25,375 --> 01:11:26,333
‪喂

878
01:11:27,625 --> 01:11:28,833
‪阿武！

879
01:11:35,375 --> 01:11:36,333
‪阿武！

880
01:11:46,625 --> 01:11:47,625
‪抱歉

881
01:11:56,291 --> 01:11:57,291
‪很痛耶

882
01:12:04,833 --> 01:12:06,250
‪你不要回来

883
01:12:08,583 --> 01:12:10,000
‪你一定要红

884
01:12:11,791 --> 01:12:13,458
‪变得跟阿钦一样有名

885
01:12:14,541 --> 01:12:15,458
‪知道吗？

886
01:12:18,333 --> 01:12:19,250
‪好

887
01:12:23,041 --> 01:12:24,250
‪要是我红了…

888
01:12:27,625 --> 01:12:28,791
‪我还是不会让你上的

889
01:12:34,416 --> 01:12:35,791
‪你快走吧

890
01:12:37,791 --> 01:12:39,958
‪好了 还不快走？

891
01:12:58,791 --> 01:13:01,791
‪这样她当然不会让我上

892
01:13:09,958 --> 01:13:10,875
‪上谁？

893
01:13:12,125 --> 01:13:14,708
‪等一下 你刚刚说什么？

894
01:13:20,208 --> 01:13:21,250
‪我啊…

895
01:13:23,041 --> 01:13:27,250
‪曾经和过去的人生一刀两断
‪不只是一次 而是两次

896
01:13:30,541 --> 01:13:34,041
‪这种人怎么能得过且过？笨蛋

897
01:13:37,875 --> 01:13:42,875
‪阿武 你要上谁？是什么意思？

898
01:13:42,958 --> 01:13:44,666
‪你很烦耶 你去睡觉啦

899
01:13:45,666 --> 01:13:48,416
‪-可是你说要上…
‪-你闭嘴

900
01:13:49,875 --> 01:13:51,625
‪但是我很好奇啊

901
01:13:52,916 --> 01:13:55,541
‪我想尝试没人试过的漫才

902
01:13:56,916 --> 01:13:57,916
‪什么意思？

903
01:13:58,000 --> 01:14:01,291
‪我要摧毁过去的漫才表演方式

904
01:14:02,125 --> 01:14:06,291
‪首先“松鹤家”什么的
‪当作团名太落伍了

905
01:14:06,375 --> 01:14:10,500
‪什么？所以是要改团名吗？

906
01:14:10,583 --> 01:14:15,500
‪美国有一个叫莱尼布鲁斯的谐星
‪他因为嗑太多药 年纪轻轻就死了

907
01:14:15,583 --> 01:14:18,500
‪我以前曾经在爵士咖啡店打工

908
01:14:19,083 --> 01:14:21,166
‪每首曲子都有它的节奏

909
01:14:22,000 --> 01:14:26,791
‪那位莱尼布鲁斯不仅种族歧视
‪批判宗教 什么都敢讲

910
01:14:27,541 --> 01:14:29,708
‪我就是想像他那样

911
01:14:29,791 --> 01:14:33,291
‪有八拍的 有四拍的

912
01:14:33,916 --> 01:14:36,625
‪我们是两人搭档 所以是…

913
01:14:38,458 --> 01:14:39,791
‪TWO BEAT

914
01:14:40,416 --> 01:14:43,000
‪（TWO BEAT）

915
01:14:44,375 --> 01:14:45,333
‪大家好

916
01:14:45,416 --> 01:14:47,541
‪我们是TWO BEAT

917
01:14:47,625 --> 01:14:50,375
‪那位老奶奶
‪你可别听漫才听到一半就死掉

918
01:14:50,458 --> 01:14:51,750
‪你不要乱说啦

919
01:15:00,333 --> 01:15:02,125
‪有点多 这给你

920
01:15:02,208 --> 01:15:03,833
‪-拿好
‪-谢谢

921
01:15:03,916 --> 01:15:05,875
‪来 这拿去

922
01:15:05,958 --> 01:15:07,250
‪你数数看

923
01:15:07,333 --> 01:15:09,250
‪不好意思 常麻烦你

924
01:15:14,166 --> 01:15:15,583
‪不好意思

925
01:15:17,083 --> 01:15:18,291
‪请喝茶

926
01:15:18,958 --> 01:15:22,666
‪那人是叫阿武吗？
‪之前待过你们法兰西座的

927
01:15:23,708 --> 01:15:27,708
‪他现在和阿清组成搭档
‪听说很有人气呢

928
01:15:28,250 --> 01:15:30,041
‪我也听说了

929
01:15:31,875 --> 01:15:36,541
‪现在甚至有同业的谐星
‪会去排站票看他们的演出

930
01:15:36,625 --> 01:15:38,500
‪所以真是不简单

931
01:15:38,583 --> 01:15:43,666
‪这样啊 原来他们这么红？

932
01:15:45,666 --> 01:15:48,083
‪这我确认过了

933
01:15:49,791 --> 01:15:53,666
‪这里要签名 形式上还是需要签

934
01:16:00,291 --> 01:16:02,625
‪（三十万日元本票）

935
01:16:02,708 --> 01:16:07,041
‪话说你们打算撑到什么时候啊？

936
01:16:07,125 --> 01:16:08,041
‪什么？

937
01:16:08,125 --> 01:16:09,416
‪法兰西座啊

938
01:16:10,791 --> 01:16:12,583
‪经营很困难吧？

939
01:16:13,583 --> 01:16:15,250
‪不要再撑了啦

940
01:16:17,000 --> 01:16:19,416
‪这种事是要继续到什么时候？

941
01:16:24,166 --> 01:16:26,375
‪时代不一样了

942
01:16:28,125 --> 01:16:29,583
‪你也跟深见说吧

943
01:16:31,666 --> 01:16:33,125
‪那这张给你

944
01:16:36,791 --> 01:16:38,375
‪谢谢你

945
01:16:46,625 --> 01:16:49,583
‪中午那场取消了

946
01:16:50,250 --> 01:16:51,625
‪什么？

947
01:16:53,000 --> 01:16:57,000
‪那也早说啊 我们在准备耶

948
01:16:59,125 --> 01:17:02,916
‪少啰唆 那你们找客人来啊

949
01:17:06,000 --> 01:17:08,458
‪怎么办？要去吃饭吗？

950
01:17:08,541 --> 01:17:09,750
‪不太想去

951
01:17:26,833 --> 01:17:30,750
‪（TWO BEAT）

952
01:17:30,833 --> 01:17:32,833
‪明年日本的法律会改

953
01:17:32,916 --> 01:17:37,375
‪-超过80岁的通通判死刑
‪-你不要胡说八道 那怎么可能！

954
01:17:37,458 --> 01:17:40,750
‪-虽然这么说 其实我对老人很亲切
‪-真的吗？

955
01:17:40,833 --> 01:17:43,791
‪当然是真的
‪上次在银座有老奶奶跟我问路

956
01:17:43,875 --> 01:17:45,875
‪-我就亲切地为她指出捷径
‪-这样啊

957
01:17:45,958 --> 01:17:48,500
‪-于是她开心地走上了高速公路
‪-不行啦！

958
01:17:49,500 --> 01:17:52,708
‪-万一被车撞了怎么办？
‪-现在很多交通事故

959
01:17:52,791 --> 01:17:55,416
‪-毕竟车子多
‪-所以请熟记交通安全标语

960
01:17:55,500 --> 01:17:58,041
‪-有各种交通安全标语
‪-“当心一时就能避免受伤毁一生”

961
01:17:58,125 --> 01:18:02,083
‪-“有精神的孩子要冲到车子前”
‪-哪有这种标语！怎么可能！

962
01:18:02,166 --> 01:18:04,416
‪“团结力量大 一起闯红灯不用怕”

963
01:18:04,500 --> 01:18:06,791
‪很可怕啦！不可以闯红灯！

964
01:18:06,875 --> 01:18:09,500
‪还有“老奶奶买卫生棉条
‪一切只是为了虚荣心”

965
01:18:09,583 --> 01:18:11,166
‪-什么啦？
‪-各种标语都有

966
01:18:11,250 --> 01:18:12,250
‪根本和交通无关吧！

967
01:18:12,333 --> 01:18:14,916
‪“别在意 反正老奶奶命也不长”

968
01:18:15,000 --> 01:18:17,833
‪不要再说了！
‪你为什么一定要这么残酷？

969
01:18:17,916 --> 01:18:20,125
‪“要当心！丑女在等咸猪手”

970
01:18:20,208 --> 01:18:23,041
‪你在说什么莫名其妙的话啦？
‪交通安全标语呢？

971
01:18:23,125 --> 01:18:25,750
‪少啰唆 反正山形
‪根本就没有交通安全标语吧

972
01:18:25,833 --> 01:18:27,458
‪怎么会没有？山形也是会有

973
01:18:27,541 --> 01:18:29,583
‪-话说这小子是山形县出身
‪-我是山形人

974
01:18:29,666 --> 01:18:33,125
‪-他在来东京之前 从来没见过人
‪-喂！

975
01:18:33,208 --> 01:18:36,208
‪-他爸爸不久前还是个食人族
‪-什么食人族？

976
01:18:36,291 --> 01:18:38,500
‪有飞机飞过 大家还会出来跪拜

977
01:18:38,583 --> 01:18:41,833
‪-我们哪有跪拜！
‪-不管飞过的是哪种飞机 都说是B29

978
01:18:41,916 --> 01:18:43,375
‪并没有！

979
01:18:46,500 --> 01:18:48,416
‪我乃月影武藏…

980
01:18:48,500 --> 01:18:50,583
‪好懊悔啊…你这个笨蛋！

981
01:18:51,083 --> 01:18:53,000
‪-别这么快杀过来！
‪-抱歉

982
01:18:53,083 --> 01:18:56,208
‪我正在帅气地讲开场白
‪等我讲完了你再过来

983
01:18:56,291 --> 01:18:57,125
‪对不起

984
01:18:57,708 --> 01:19:01,416
‪我乃第三代月影武藏！

985
01:19:01,500 --> 01:19:04,333
‪-麻里也喝嘛
‪-谢谢

986
01:19:04,416 --> 01:19:06,916
‪就是要喝酒 来

987
01:19:07,000 --> 01:19:08,750
‪对 喝吧

988
01:19:12,083 --> 01:19:14,416
‪真是个好女人！

989
01:19:29,125 --> 01:19:31,416
‪喂？是我

990
01:19:35,083 --> 01:19:36,875
‪不好意思 你这么忙还打扰你

991
01:19:48,750 --> 01:19:50,958
‪麻里 这个就麻烦你了

992
01:19:53,041 --> 01:19:54,208
‪好的

993
01:19:57,416 --> 01:20:00,041
‪来 让各位久等了！

994
01:20:00,958 --> 01:20:04,916
‪-您在等我吗？
‪-就是在等你！

995
01:20:05,000 --> 01:20:06,458
‪来

996
01:20:06,541 --> 01:20:08,000
‪给你

997
01:20:08,083 --> 01:20:09,583
‪-我吗？
‪-我来帮你斟酒

998
01:20:09,666 --> 01:20:11,458
‪很好

999
01:20:55,541 --> 01:20:57,625
‪-川村先生
‪-是

1000
01:20:58,125 --> 01:20:59,583
‪-什么事？
‪-我跟你提过的那位

1001
01:20:59,666 --> 01:21:03,083
‪这样啊 那请过来这边吧

1002
01:21:03,958 --> 01:21:05,125
‪我看看…

1003
01:21:05,208 --> 01:21:06,875
‪-请多指教
‪-请多指教

1004
01:21:06,958 --> 01:21:10,583
‪把这个和这个 放在这边

1005
01:21:10,666 --> 01:21:13,583
‪然后把螺丝钉像这样…

1006
01:21:14,416 --> 01:21:15,458
‪再翻过来

1007
01:21:30,291 --> 01:21:32,041
‪麻里小姐？

1008
01:21:33,708 --> 01:21:34,541
‪麻里小姐！

1009
01:21:34,625 --> 01:21:35,625
‪你还好吗？

1010
01:21:37,541 --> 01:21:40,166
‪我牙好痛

1011
01:21:40,666 --> 01:21:41,833
‪你平时刷牙吗？

1012
01:21:45,208 --> 01:21:47,333
‪我问你 深见先生

1013
01:21:48,291 --> 01:21:50,375
‪听说你以前是谐星 真的吗？

1014
01:21:51,125 --> 01:21:52,166
‪是的 没错

1015
01:21:52,250 --> 01:21:54,125
‪-你以前是谐星啊？
‪-对

1016
01:21:54,208 --> 01:21:55,750
‪-他是谐星
‪-天啊！

1017
01:21:55,833 --> 01:21:57,333
‪那你现在表演吧

1018
01:21:57,833 --> 01:21:58,875
‪你不是谐星吗？

1019
01:21:58,958 --> 01:22:01,041
‪-好想看
‪-所以你应该会一些吧？

1020
01:22:01,125 --> 01:22:04,666
‪譬如魔术或落语之类的
‪表演给我们看嘛

1021
01:22:04,750 --> 01:22:07,000
‪-好不好？拜托
‪-深见先生

1022
01:22:07,083 --> 01:22:09,250
‪-表演一下嘛
‪-现在好想看

1023
01:22:09,333 --> 01:22:11,625
‪-那我就表演了
‪-太好了！

1024
01:22:12,333 --> 01:22:13,625
‪麻烦你了

1025
01:22:17,000 --> 01:22:18,833
‪这没有弄虚作假

1026
01:22:20,666 --> 01:22:22,125
‪现在来瞧瞧…

1027
01:22:29,083 --> 01:22:31,250
‪手指竟然不见了

1028
01:22:40,125 --> 01:22:41,125
‪深见先生

1029
01:22:41,708 --> 01:22:43,750
‪-什么事？
‪-有你的电话

1030
01:22:43,833 --> 01:22:44,666
‪电话？

1031
01:22:46,208 --> 01:22:47,208
‪敝姓黑田

1032
01:22:47,291 --> 01:22:48,791
‪（东京电视12频道导播）

1033
01:22:52,416 --> 01:22:54,750
‪-电视演出吗？
‪-是的

1034
01:22:55,416 --> 01:22:58,708
‪下周五临时有了空缺

1035
01:23:00,833 --> 01:23:01,666
‪如何？

1036
01:23:01,750 --> 01:23:04,625
‪可是我们在这里也有演出…

1037
01:23:04,708 --> 01:23:08,416
‪没问题 我们会配合的

1038
01:23:09,250 --> 01:23:10,708
‪-真的吗？
‪-真的！

1039
01:23:12,583 --> 01:23:14,291
‪我们应该几点过去？

1040
01:23:17,916 --> 01:23:20,500
‪真是谢谢您

1041
01:23:20,583 --> 01:23:22,416
‪我简直吓坏了

1042
01:23:22,500 --> 01:23:25,708
‪-你认识谷口太太吧？
‪-认识

1043
01:23:25,791 --> 01:23:29,791
‪她碰巧经过 赶忙打电话给我

1044
01:23:30,416 --> 01:23:31,666
‪这样啊

1045
01:23:31,750 --> 01:23:36,166
‪总之先拿这些钱去吃点美食吧

1046
01:23:36,250 --> 01:23:39,750
‪不用啦 师父 你不用这么客气啦

1047
01:23:41,583 --> 01:23:43,250
‪真的不用了

1048
01:23:44,833 --> 01:23:46,291
‪-真不好意思
‪-那我走了

1049
01:23:46,375 --> 01:23:48,583
‪-好好照顾麻里喔
‪-好

1050
01:23:49,375 --> 01:23:50,708
‪对不起

1051
01:23:50,791 --> 01:23:54,708
‪你躺着 别起来！不要勉强

1052
01:23:54,791 --> 01:23:56,375
‪-好
‪-那我走了

1053
01:23:58,250 --> 01:23:59,250
‪谢谢啊

1054
01:24:03,791 --> 01:24:05,833
‪你要坐起来吗？

1055
01:24:05,916 --> 01:24:07,125
‪可以吗？

1056
01:24:07,916 --> 01:24:09,041
‪等我一下

1057
01:24:13,625 --> 01:24:15,333
‪要不要喝茶？

1058
01:24:27,375 --> 01:24:29,375
‪-给你
‪-谢谢

1059
01:24:40,458 --> 01:24:45,916
‪真是抱歉 让你勉强自己

1060
01:24:48,833 --> 01:24:53,625
‪不过我也找到工作了

1061
01:24:57,583 --> 01:25:01,166
{\an8}‪都是东八那小子

1062
01:25:01,250 --> 01:25:07,125
‪他说实在很缺人手
‪所以一定要我帮忙

1063
01:25:07,625 --> 01:25:12,125
‪徒弟遇上烦恼
‪我总不能坐视不管对吧？

1064
01:25:12,916 --> 01:25:14,250
‪真是伤脑筋

1065
01:25:15,333 --> 01:25:16,958
‪你会东山再起吧？

1066
01:25:18,375 --> 01:25:19,291
‪什么？

1067
01:25:19,875 --> 01:25:22,458
‪你是适合在舞台上的人

1068
01:25:25,791 --> 01:25:28,875
‪我喜欢舞台上的你

1069
01:25:32,333 --> 01:25:35,541
‪意思是你不喜欢平常的我吗？

1070
01:25:36,500 --> 01:25:38,833
‪平常的你有什么好让人喜欢的？

1071
01:25:41,958 --> 01:25:43,166
‪那倒是没错

1072
01:25:44,500 --> 01:25:48,083
‪你在舞台上好性感

1073
01:25:49,000 --> 01:25:51,750
‪无论是站姿还是说话的方式

1074
01:25:51,833 --> 01:25:56,541
‪都有一种“我是浅草的深见”的气势

1075
01:25:58,791 --> 01:26:00,708
‪你现在说这些干吗？

1076
01:26:01,291 --> 01:26:02,750
‪你是撞到脑袋了吗？

1077
01:26:05,541 --> 01:26:08,416
‪我会帮你拿回法兰西座

1078
01:26:09,791 --> 01:26:10,625
‪什么？

1079
01:26:11,333 --> 01:26:15,583
‪就算不是法兰西座
‪换个小一点的地方也行

1080
01:26:15,666 --> 01:26:19,166
‪我果然还是想看你站在舞台上

1081
01:26:19,916 --> 01:26:20,833
‪好吗？

1082
01:26:29,125 --> 01:26:32,583
‪不瞒你说
‪我现在正在构思一段新短剧

1083
01:26:33,208 --> 01:26:34,250
‪真的啊？

1084
01:26:35,041 --> 01:26:38,750
‪我这次想让狗上台

1085
01:26:39,291 --> 01:26:42,083
‪狗？真的狗吗？

1086
01:26:42,166 --> 01:26:43,625
‪没错

1087
01:26:43,708 --> 01:26:46,083
‪-不是有那种警犬吗？
‪-是啊

1088
01:26:46,916 --> 01:26:49,583
‪首先内衣小偷从左侧上台

1089
01:26:49,666 --> 01:26:50,916
‪讨厌啦

1090
01:26:51,000 --> 01:26:54,041
‪小偷说：“今天也是大丰收”

1091
01:26:54,125 --> 01:26:56,291
‪然后狗就开始叫了

1092
01:26:56,375 --> 01:26:57,666
‪汪汪！

1093
01:26:57,750 --> 01:26:59,291
‪“发生什么事了？”

1094
01:26:59,375 --> 01:27:01,958
‪“你为什么要阻止我？笨蛋
‪你让我自杀啊！笨蛋”

1095
01:27:02,041 --> 01:27:04,416
‪-“你不让我自杀 我会死的 笨蛋”
‪-你在说什么啊？

1096
01:27:04,500 --> 01:27:06,166
‪-这人说的话莫名其妙
‪-实在听不懂

1097
01:27:06,250 --> 01:27:08,875
‪前阵子隔壁邻居的儿子
‪在我开门那瞬间

1098
01:27:08,958 --> 01:27:11,333
‪-企图用瓦斯橡胶管上吊自杀
‪-瓦斯橡胶管？

1099
01:27:11,416 --> 01:27:13,625
‪-我阻止他 “你在干什么？”
‪-阻止了他？很好

1100
01:27:13,708 --> 01:27:15,416
‪-“瓦斯管要含在嘴里”
‪-这样死更快吧

1101
01:27:15,500 --> 01:27:18,166
‪-要用正确方式使用瓦斯
‪-也不需在这时用正确用法吧

1102
01:27:18,250 --> 01:27:20,166
‪-现在怪人很多
‪-那倒是真的

1103
01:27:20,250 --> 01:27:22,958
‪-做什么事都会太专心
‪-没错

1104
01:27:25,875 --> 01:27:27,166
‪你们这是在干吗？

1105
01:27:28,041 --> 01:27:30,583
‪-怎么了？
‪-这里又不是剧场

1106
01:27:30,666 --> 01:27:33,583
‪这是电视节目 而且是现场直播

1107
01:27:34,708 --> 01:27:37,958
‪怎么可以嘲笑丑女
‪或提到自杀的话题？

1108
01:27:39,916 --> 01:27:43,000
‪没有其他电视可以播的段子吗？

1109
01:27:44,500 --> 01:27:46,125
‪你们还有时间

1110
01:27:47,250 --> 01:27:48,625
‪赶快想一想吧

1111
01:27:51,166 --> 01:27:52,125
‪好的

1112
01:27:55,083 --> 01:27:56,291
‪把这一段…

1113
01:27:57,750 --> 01:28:00,375
‪换成滑雪那个段子如何？

1114
01:28:00,458 --> 01:28:05,958
‪这个嘛 可是那个人说
‪也不能提到丑女

1115
01:28:12,583 --> 01:28:17,333
‪那就换成用金属球棒打脑袋那个

1116
01:28:17,416 --> 01:28:18,833
‪那个段子吗？

1117
01:28:20,041 --> 01:28:23,666
‪可是那个段子观众的反应不够好

1118
01:28:28,333 --> 01:28:29,750
‪-全部剁碎
‪-是喔

1119
01:28:30,291 --> 01:28:31,500
‪-剁！
‪-什么？

1120
01:28:31,583 --> 01:28:32,583
‪刚才那是怎样？

1121
01:28:32,666 --> 01:28:34,125
‪-最后一刀！
‪-够了！

1122
01:28:34,708 --> 01:28:35,708
‪谢谢大家！

1123
01:28:39,541 --> 01:28:43,791
‪刚才是“喜剧第一名”的两位
‪带给大家的演出 真是有趣

1124
01:28:43,875 --> 01:28:47,125
‪他们能够继续保持优胜吗？

1125
01:28:47,208 --> 01:28:49,083
‪在这之前先看这段

1126
01:28:50,666 --> 01:28:52,750
‪好 进广告了

1127
01:28:52,833 --> 01:28:56,708
‪刚才是“喜剧第一名”的两位 谢谢

1128
01:28:59,541 --> 01:29:02,625
‪没问题吗？有没有笑到累了？

1129
01:29:03,750 --> 01:29:09,583
‪想要补妆的可以趁现在去洗手间

1130
01:29:09,666 --> 01:29:13,541
‪接下来还有更多好笑的谐星…

1131
01:29:13,625 --> 01:29:18,333
‪没问题啦 电视不过就是另一种剧场

1132
01:29:34,458 --> 01:29:37,500
‪接下来还有许多优秀的谐星…

1133
01:29:45,000 --> 01:29:46,916
‪你都在我底下学了什么？笨蛋

1134
01:29:48,958 --> 01:29:49,791
‪你不要回来

1135
01:29:51,916 --> 01:29:53,125
‪可不要被人笑

1136
01:29:57,875 --> 01:29:59,166
‪而是要逗人笑

1137
01:30:04,833 --> 01:30:06,250
‪还剩五秒画面交回棚内！

1138
01:30:06,875 --> 01:30:08,083
‪-四！三！
‪-阿武？

1139
01:30:09,541 --> 01:30:10,583
‪我不干了

1140
01:30:11,583 --> 01:30:12,875
‪这是什么意思？

1141
01:30:12,958 --> 01:30:15,041
‪我们维持原来那个段子

1142
01:30:15,791 --> 01:30:16,916
‪照原来的去讲

1143
01:30:17,666 --> 01:30:18,666
‪不 可是…

1144
01:30:18,750 --> 01:30:23,000
‪那么接下来请本周的挑战者上场

1145
01:30:23,583 --> 01:30:28,375
‪浅草受人瞩目的新星
‪TWO BEAT 欢迎他们！

1146
01:31:32,125 --> 01:31:33,416
‪柯曼妮奇！

1147
01:31:33,500 --> 01:31:35,500
‪柯曼妮奇！

1148
01:31:35,583 --> 01:31:37,625
‪-柯曼妮奇！
‪-小智！

1149
01:31:37,708 --> 01:31:40,083
‪-该走了
‪-妈妈！

1150
01:31:40,166 --> 01:31:42,541
‪刚才阿武就在这里！

1151
01:31:42,625 --> 01:31:44,708
‪哪一个阿武啊？

1152
01:31:44,791 --> 01:31:47,666
‪彼得武啊 他刚刚就在这里！

1153
01:31:48,250 --> 01:31:52,333
‪别说傻话了！
‪我们快回去吧 爸爸在等我们

1154
01:31:53,333 --> 01:31:56,750
‪是真的喔 你看 还有签名呢

1155
01:31:59,958 --> 01:32:03,166
‪我问你喔 妈妈 这个字怎么念？

1156
01:32:12,958 --> 01:32:13,916
‪这个字啊…

1157
01:32:18,541 --> 01:32:20,250
‪念作“鲸”

1158
01:32:20,333 --> 01:32:21,666
‪是喔

1159
01:32:25,583 --> 01:32:27,416
‪好 我们回家吃饭吧

1160
01:32:31,583 --> 01:32:32,791
‪来唱歌

1161
01:32:32,875 --> 01:32:34,791
‪好啊 要唱什么？

1162
01:32:36,000 --> 01:32:37,375
‪那就唱…

1163
01:32:37,875 --> 01:32:41,666
‪小熊看见捉迷藏

1164
01:32:41,750 --> 01:32:45,500
‪光屁股的孩子拿了第一名

1165
01:32:45,583 --> 01:32:49,458
‪夕阳西下 明天见

1166
01:32:49,541 --> 01:32:52,166
‪明天再见

1167
01:32:59,500 --> 01:33:01,416
‪-欢迎光临！
‪-你好

1168
01:33:05,750 --> 01:33:08,333
‪-老样子
‪-好的 韭菜炒蛋一份

1169
01:33:08,416 --> 01:33:09,250
‪好的

1170
01:33:11,541 --> 01:33:15,333
‪老板娘 干吗看棒球啊？
‪今天不是有《漫才》吗？

1171
01:33:15,416 --> 01:33:16,916
‪击出一支全垒打！

1172
01:33:19,833 --> 01:33:21,625
‪做坏事会下地狱的

1173
01:33:21,708 --> 01:33:23,916
‪果然是TWO BEAT

1174
01:33:24,000 --> 01:33:27,125
‪他们还真是厉害

1175
01:33:27,708 --> 01:33:31,958
‪现在想想他们当时在浅草
‪感觉挺不可思议的

1176
01:33:32,500 --> 01:33:35,083
‪我想看棒球

1177
01:33:35,166 --> 01:33:38,375
‪说这什么话啊？老板娘
‪你什么时候对棒球那么有兴趣…

1178
01:33:39,916 --> 01:33:41,833
‪对喔 今天是巨人战

1179
01:33:41,916 --> 01:33:43,000
‪不准转台！

1180
01:33:45,333 --> 01:33:47,416
‪不准给我转台

1181
01:33:47,500 --> 01:33:50,041
‪-第二间房间有什么？
‪-这次是在冰块上面

1182
01:33:50,125 --> 01:33:53,208
‪大家光脚踩在冰块上
‪纷纷喊着：“好冷！”

1183
01:33:53,291 --> 01:33:55,791
‪-这样脚会冻伤的
‪-拜托饶了我吧

1184
01:33:55,875 --> 01:33:57,958
‪-谁受得了啊？
‪-结果他说这是最后一个世界

1185
01:33:58,041 --> 01:34:00,041
‪-那第三个房间呢？
‪-我一打开房门…

1186
01:34:00,125 --> 01:34:03,500
‪看到大家都像这样泡在大便里

1187
01:34:03,583 --> 01:34:04,416
‪泡在大便里？

1188
01:34:04,500 --> 01:34:05,583
‪-而且在抽烟
‪-抽烟？

1189
01:34:05,666 --> 01:34:09,916
‪不过师父 最近他们的
‪表现变得有点差呢

1190
01:34:10,000 --> 01:34:13,791
‪感觉他们上电视后 表演功夫变差了

1191
01:34:14,458 --> 01:34:19,458
‪既然叫做谐星 技艺最重要

1192
01:34:19,541 --> 01:34:21,583
‪-这么一想…
‪-喂

1193
01:34:25,083 --> 01:34:27,791
‪你这家伙从刚才就在嘀咕什么？

1194
01:34:27,875 --> 01:34:28,833
‪什么？

1195
01:34:31,666 --> 01:34:34,416
‪你一个外行人还说得一副很懂的样子

1196
01:34:35,333 --> 01:34:38,041
‪你懂他们的什么了？笨蛋！

1197
01:34:38,708 --> 01:34:40,166
‪你说他们没有技艺？

1198
01:34:40,875 --> 01:34:43,500
‪你以为他们是谁的徒弟？混蛋！

1199
01:34:43,583 --> 01:34:45,125
‪-你这家伙！
‪-你要干吗？

1200
01:34:48,375 --> 01:34:50,250
‪师父 你还好吗？对不起

1201
01:34:50,333 --> 01:34:52,333
‪你在搞什么啊？

1202
01:34:52,416 --> 01:34:53,750
‪-因为…
‪-真受不了你！

1203
01:34:53,833 --> 01:34:56,708
‪你赶快回去啦！

1204
01:34:56,791 --> 01:34:58,000
‪喂 老公！

1205
01:34:58,083 --> 01:35:01,041
‪-也不想想那是谁的徒弟 笨蛋
‪-快拿冰块来！

1206
01:35:01,125 --> 01:35:03,791
‪还有急救箱！快点！

1207
01:35:03,875 --> 01:35:06,166
‪-在二楼！
‪-二楼吗？那我去拿

1208
01:35:06,250 --> 01:35:10,458
‪第11届日本放送演艺大奖得奖人是…

1209
01:35:11,125 --> 01:35:12,583
‪TWO BEAT！

1210
01:35:13,958 --> 01:35:15,416
‪恭喜你们！

1211
01:35:16,416 --> 01:35:18,041
‪感谢大家！

1212
01:35:18,125 --> 01:35:19,000
‪谢谢！

1213
01:35:19,083 --> 01:35:22,250
‪现在颁赠给两位奖金和奖杯

1214
01:35:22,333 --> 01:35:24,250
‪-恭喜你们
‪-谢谢

1215
01:35:24,333 --> 01:35:25,708
‪太棒了！

1216
01:35:27,250 --> 01:35:28,625
‪你在干吗啦？

1217
01:35:28,708 --> 01:35:30,708
‪-不能带她回家吗？
‪-不能！

1218
01:35:30,791 --> 01:35:32,750
‪你只能带奖杯回家！

1219
01:35:44,083 --> 01:35:45,541
‪-司机先生
‪-是

1220
01:35:45,625 --> 01:35:48,166
‪还是载我去浅草吧

1221
01:36:30,750 --> 01:36:32,791
‪不锁门很危险喔

1222
01:36:48,250 --> 01:36:50,416
‪你这小子来干吗？

1223
01:36:54,000 --> 01:36:56,416
‪我刚好路过附近

1224
01:36:58,291 --> 01:37:00,458
‪要过来好歹打个电话吧

1225
01:37:02,333 --> 01:37:03,458
‪对不起

1226
01:37:18,416 --> 01:37:21,958
‪要吃点什么吗？肚子饿了吗？

1227
01:37:22,041 --> 01:37:24,541
‪不 我不饿

1228
01:37:25,125 --> 01:37:27,791
‪有一家虽然难吃
‪但是可以马上送来的拉面

1229
01:37:28,750 --> 01:37:31,583
‪不 我真的不饿

1230
01:37:41,416 --> 01:37:42,250
‪师父

1231
01:37:43,875 --> 01:37:44,875
‪这给你

1232
01:37:45,583 --> 01:37:49,541
{\an8}‪（奖金）

1233
01:37:55,250 --> 01:37:56,416
‪这是什么？

1234
01:37:56,500 --> 01:37:57,875
‪这个嘛…

1235
01:37:59,416 --> 01:38:01,083
‪是零用钱

1236
01:38:04,375 --> 01:38:06,041
‪你这小子在嘲弄我吗？

1237
01:38:08,458 --> 01:38:10,333
‪我怎么可能收下？

1238
01:38:37,000 --> 01:38:38,416
‪真受不了你

1239
01:38:40,041 --> 01:38:43,541
‪徒弟给师父零用钱

1240
01:38:44,208 --> 01:38:46,083
‪从来没听过有这种事 笨蛋

1241
01:38:49,250 --> 01:38:50,583
‪一张、两张、三张…

1242
01:38:50,666 --> 01:38:52,625
‪你已经开始数钞票了！

1243
01:38:53,750 --> 01:38:55,791
‪不要再数了啦 你这老头

1244
01:38:55,875 --> 01:38:58,375
‪-你说谁是老头？笨蛋
‪-对不起

1245
01:39:01,500 --> 01:39:03,625
‪-要去喝一杯吗？
‪-好

1246
01:39:03,708 --> 01:39:07,208
‪好 我去准备 你等我一下

1247
01:39:07,750 --> 01:39:11,958
‪（捕鲸船）

1248
01:39:12,041 --> 01:39:13,125
‪我说的是真的！

1249
01:39:13,208 --> 01:39:18,000
‪别看这小子现在上电视 很嚣张
‪他当初在法兰西座时超没用的

1250
01:39:18,083 --> 01:39:23,666
‪要表演入浴秀 麻里叫他准备热水
‪这笨蛋却把滚烫的水倒进去

1251
01:39:24,291 --> 01:39:29,208
‪麻里小姐因为太烫没办法下水
‪只敢把脚伸进澡盆里 一直喊烫

1252
01:39:30,000 --> 01:39:31,083
‪她后来把我骂了一顿

1253
01:39:31,166 --> 01:39:32,458
‪这是当然的 笨蛋

1254
01:39:32,541 --> 01:39:37,208
‪表演结束后 麻里她满脸通红地说
‪“我又不是石川五右卫门！”

1255
01:39:37,708 --> 01:39:39,291
‪不过师父他也不是省油的灯

1256
01:39:39,375 --> 01:39:41,750
‪我们在休息室看电视
‪看到偶像歌手在唱歌

1257
01:39:41,833 --> 01:39:45,000
‪他叫我们把电视抬起来
‪我搞不懂他要做什么

1258
01:39:45,083 --> 01:39:47,333
‪结果他是想从下面偷看人家内裤

1259
01:39:48,333 --> 01:39:50,166
‪你这小子干吗说这么多？笨蛋！

1260
01:39:50,250 --> 01:39:52,291
‪那次我好惨 我正准备偷看内裤

1261
01:39:52,375 --> 01:39:55,333
‪结果阿清一直喊重 然后就松手了

1262
01:39:56,041 --> 01:39:59,291
‪电视掉下来砸到我头上
‪害我受重伤 那个笨蛋！

1263
01:40:00,250 --> 01:40:03,583
‪你难得回来一次
‪怎么都在讲多余的话？

1264
01:40:03,666 --> 01:40:07,125
‪阿武一直讲个不停
‪害我蛋蛋都要爆了

1265
01:40:08,333 --> 01:40:09,541
‪师父 请穿鞋

1266
01:40:09,625 --> 01:40:10,833
‪谢啦

1267
01:40:12,458 --> 01:40:14,000
‪奇怪 我是不是变高了？

1268
01:40:14,083 --> 01:40:15,375
‪你这个笨蛋！

1269
01:40:16,541 --> 01:40:18,625
‪你干吗给我穿这个粉红色高跟鞋啊？

1270
01:40:19,708 --> 01:40:21,500
‪看也知道不是我的啊！

1271
01:40:22,416 --> 01:40:23,708
‪师父 成功逗大家笑了呢

1272
01:40:24,541 --> 01:40:25,958
‪就是啊

1273
01:40:27,166 --> 01:40:28,583
‪大伙都快笑翻了

1274
01:40:29,083 --> 01:40:31,333
‪我前面那位小姐都笑到流泪了

1275
01:40:31,416 --> 01:40:33,833
‪不 是我的笑话让她笑的

1276
01:40:33,916 --> 01:40:37,166
‪别说蠢话 是我的笑话让她笑的

1277
01:40:37,250 --> 01:40:39,375
‪哪有？那是我…

1278
01:40:41,416 --> 01:40:42,541
‪计程车！

1279
01:40:43,500 --> 01:40:45,291
‪-阿武 上车
‪-不 我还能喝

1280
01:40:45,375 --> 01:40:47,708
‪不行 你明天还得早起工作吧？

1281
01:40:47,791 --> 01:40:49,458
‪-快回家睡觉
‪-你没问题吧？

1282
01:40:49,541 --> 01:40:51,125
‪我当然没问题 笨蛋！

1283
01:40:51,625 --> 01:40:52,666
‪对了

1284
01:40:55,875 --> 01:40:57,416
‪来 用这个付车费

1285
01:40:57,500 --> 01:40:58,458
‪谢谢

1286
01:40:58,541 --> 01:41:00,708
‪话说这是我给你的钱吧？

1287
01:41:01,208 --> 01:41:02,916
‪-是吗？
‪-是的

1288
01:41:03,875 --> 01:41:05,250
‪好了 你快上车吧

1289
01:41:10,875 --> 01:41:12,708
‪-多谢招待
‪-不客气

1290
01:41:14,291 --> 01:41:16,375
‪-阿武
‪-是

1291
01:41:20,875 --> 01:41:22,416
‪如果车费有剩

1292
01:41:24,333 --> 01:41:25,958
‪找了钱的话记得要拿来还我

1293
01:41:28,166 --> 01:41:29,125
‪好的

1294
01:42:23,041 --> 01:42:24,875
‪嗨 麻里

1295
01:42:27,666 --> 01:42:30,750
‪久违地陪我喝一杯吧

1296
01:42:34,333 --> 01:42:37,791
‪在你那边想也知道没什么好酒可喝

1297
01:42:55,291 --> 01:42:56,458
‪麻里

1298
01:42:58,625 --> 01:42:59,916
‪阿武他啊

1299
01:43:01,291 --> 01:43:03,833
‪竟然给我零用钱

1300
01:43:12,083 --> 01:43:14,375
‪他把这个给我

1301
01:43:15,291 --> 01:43:17,750
‪真嚣张 对吧？

1302
01:43:19,291 --> 01:43:20,875
‪我可是他师父呢

1303
01:43:24,333 --> 01:43:26,166
‪我从来没听过

1304
01:43:27,625 --> 01:43:30,875
‪会有徒弟给师父零用钱

1305
01:43:36,708 --> 01:43:37,750
‪不过呢…

1306
01:43:46,333 --> 01:43:49,208
‪他真是厉害

1307
01:43:53,458 --> 01:43:56,583
‪那小子果然做到了

1308
01:43:58,958 --> 01:44:01,666
‪结果他真的成功了

1309
01:44:05,333 --> 01:44:06,166
‪不过啊…

1310
01:44:07,875 --> 01:44:10,083
‪我也不会输给他的

1311
01:44:12,416 --> 01:44:13,750
‪毕竟我啊…

1312
01:44:16,166 --> 01:44:19,000
‪可是浅草的深见呢

1313
01:44:25,541 --> 01:44:26,791
‪对了

1314
01:44:31,041 --> 01:44:33,416
‪我又构思了一个新短剧

1315
01:44:34,708 --> 01:44:38,416
‪我说给阿武听之后

1316
01:44:39,416 --> 01:44:42,291
‪那家伙请我一定要
‪和他一起合作演出

1317
01:44:48,083 --> 01:44:51,458
‪这段子大家肯定会觉得好笑

1318
01:45:06,041 --> 01:45:10,041
‪肯定很好笑…

1319
01:45:22,625 --> 01:45:23,583
‪喂？

1320
01:45:26,583 --> 01:45:29,625
‪你好 好久没联络了

1321
01:45:35,208 --> 01:45:36,083
‪是

1322
01:45:43,625 --> 01:45:44,625
‪是

1323
01:46:22,708 --> 01:46:26,125
‪-他会来吗？
‪-阿武不会来吗？

1324
01:46:26,208 --> 01:46:28,500
‪-今天是不是没办法来啊？
‪-可能是吧

1325
01:46:28,583 --> 01:46:30,166
‪希望他能来

1326
01:46:30,250 --> 01:46:33,250
‪-不然就没得报了
‪-就是啊

1327
01:46:35,458 --> 01:46:37,666
‪（深见千三郎告别式会场）

1328
01:46:38,833 --> 01:46:39,958
‪怎么办？

1329
01:46:40,833 --> 01:46:43,416
‪-请他们让我们从后面进去吧
‪-好

1330
01:46:43,958 --> 01:46:46,750
‪-不好意思 请开到后门
‪-好的

1331
01:46:49,041 --> 01:46:50,291
‪就是这里

1332
01:46:52,500 --> 01:46:54,625
‪我去前门应付记者

1333
01:47:02,833 --> 01:47:03,875
‪你好

1334
01:47:11,250 --> 01:47:16,875
‪是我劝师父说要他关闭法兰西座

1335
01:47:17,875 --> 01:47:19,791
‪是 我听说了

1336
01:47:20,708 --> 01:47:22,916
‪没想到他会这么早就过世

1337
01:47:24,083 --> 01:47:29,166
‪总觉得应该让他继续当谐星

1338
01:47:29,750 --> 01:47:32,000
‪我感觉自己责任重大

1339
01:47:32,666 --> 01:47:33,875
‪不

1340
01:47:34,875 --> 01:47:37,625
‪很多事本来都该由我处理

1341
01:47:39,041 --> 01:47:40,000
‪谢谢你

1342
01:47:40,083 --> 01:47:41,375
‪不会啦

1343
01:47:46,625 --> 01:47:52,250
‪我头一次劝师父关闭法兰西座时

1344
01:47:52,791 --> 01:47:55,541
‪他气得要死 把我臭骂一顿

1345
01:47:56,750 --> 01:48:00,250
‪不过这点我早有心理准备了

1346
01:48:01,750 --> 01:48:06,333
‪令我意外的是 师父他说

1347
01:48:06,416 --> 01:48:10,125
‪“如果这剧场关闭了
‪阿武他要怎么办？”

1348
01:48:12,583 --> 01:48:13,875
‪你给我回去！

1349
01:48:15,250 --> 01:48:17,208
‪-师父…
‪-回去！

1350
01:48:22,458 --> 01:48:26,333
‪不必现在做决定 你考虑一下吧

1351
01:48:38,625 --> 01:48:40,041
‪如果这剧场关闭了

1352
01:48:41,916 --> 01:48:43,416
‪阿武他要怎么办？

1353
01:48:48,041 --> 01:48:50,125
‪谁来照顾他？

1354
01:48:52,041 --> 01:48:55,916
‪那个笨蛋是真的有才华

1355
01:48:58,708 --> 01:49:00,666
‪在我把所有的本事教给他之前

1356
01:49:03,166 --> 01:49:05,166
‪我不能关闭法兰西座

1357
01:49:07,458 --> 01:49:09,333
‪在你离开之后

1358
01:49:10,041 --> 01:49:14,458
‪他拎着一瓶酒
‪去给其他剧场的经理送礼

1359
01:49:14,541 --> 01:49:19,666
‪到处低头请求 要大家多多照顾你们

1360
01:49:20,583 --> 01:49:21,416
‪师父！

1361
01:49:22,000 --> 01:49:24,625
‪-不好意思 您这么忙还打扰您
‪-不会啦

1362
01:49:24,708 --> 01:49:29,625
‪-这是一点小心意 您就尽管使唤他
‪-我完全无法想象师父会向人低头

1363
01:49:33,125 --> 01:49:36,250
‪他可是遇上黑道都不肯低头的人呢

1364
01:49:40,250 --> 01:49:42,458
‪他到底是有多关心你啊？

1365
01:49:43,916 --> 01:49:46,125
‪我真希望师父也能这样对我

1366
01:50:24,125 --> 01:50:25,916
‪师父 你不可以这样

1367
01:50:28,041 --> 01:50:29,791
‪你这人就是性子急

1368
01:50:34,791 --> 01:50:37,666
‪反正死了会有人帮你火化

1369
01:50:39,333 --> 01:50:41,625
‪何必急着自己烧呢？

1370
01:50:52,250 --> 01:50:53,875
‪不过我听说

1371
01:50:55,333 --> 01:50:57,625
‪刚才火葬场打电话来

1372
01:50:59,333 --> 01:51:02,666
‪说遗体既然都烧了一半
‪所以半价就行了

1373
01:51:04,041 --> 01:51:05,041
‪天啊

1374
01:51:07,208 --> 01:51:08,625
‪真是赚到了

1375
01:51:10,791 --> 01:51:11,791
‪你说是吧？

1376
01:52:33,833 --> 01:52:38,333
‪（浅草法兰西座 东洋馆）

1377
01:53:06,083 --> 01:53:10,791
{\an8}‪（浅草法兰西座）

1378
01:53:28,541 --> 01:53:29,750
‪阿武！

1379
01:53:29,833 --> 01:53:32,791
‪我这里有一堆橘子 你待会过来拿

1380
01:53:56,291 --> 01:53:59,958
‪阿武 听好了 不要去讨好观众

1381
01:54:00,833 --> 01:54:04,833
‪由你来告诉观众 什么才是有趣的

1382
01:54:18,708 --> 01:54:21,958
‪阿武 师父说
‪我们明天可以演这出短剧

1383
01:54:22,041 --> 01:54:25,625
‪关于角色分配 我还是觉得
‪由你来演小说家会比较好

1384
01:54:25,708 --> 01:54:27,125
‪这样够吗？

1385
01:54:27,208 --> 01:54:31,375
‪阿武 你又擅自在短剧里穿这件吧？
‪我都跟你说过不行了

1386
01:54:31,458 --> 01:54:35,000
‪你看这里 线都绽开了 该怎么办？

1387
01:54:37,833 --> 01:54:40,833
‪距离开演还剩五分钟！

1388
01:54:42,083 --> 01:54:46,375
‪阿武 你是不是把师父
‪赌马赢来的钱都花光了？

1389
01:54:46,458 --> 01:54:49,166
‪这样很糟耶 一定会被痛骂

1390
01:54:58,541 --> 01:55:01,416
‪阿武 师父在发大红包

1391
01:55:01,916 --> 01:55:03,166
‪虽然里面只有50日元

1392
01:55:03,250 --> 01:55:06,291
‪-快住手！
‪-你偶尔也脱光吧！

1393
01:55:06,375 --> 01:55:08,875
‪-麻里小姐 拜托不要！
‪-阿武 按住他！

1394
01:55:08,958 --> 01:55:10,583
‪阿武 救命！

1395
01:55:10,666 --> 01:55:12,791
‪喂 阿武 不要啊！

1396
01:55:13,375 --> 01:55:15,125
‪天啊 别这样

1397
01:55:15,208 --> 01:55:16,375
‪皮皮逃走了！

1398
01:55:16,458 --> 01:55:20,041
‪阿武 往那边 快去追！

1399
01:55:21,250 --> 01:55:23,375
‪阿武 厕所的水一直流

1400
01:55:23,458 --> 01:55:25,583
‪你不是工学院的吗？快来修

1401
01:55:28,750 --> 01:55:32,416
‪-你们再抬高一点
‪-师父 看不到的啦

1402
01:55:32,500 --> 01:55:33,875
‪少啰唆 再高一点！

1403
01:55:33,958 --> 01:55:37,125
‪应该可以看到 阿武 你也要帮忙啊！

1404
01:55:37,208 --> 01:55:39,333
‪-看不到的啦！
‪-我刚刚好像看到了！

1405
01:55:39,833 --> 01:55:41,791
‪刚刚那是内裤吧？

1406
01:55:43,416 --> 01:55:46,500
‪圣诞节快乐！

1407
01:55:46,583 --> 01:55:48,583
‪等等 阿武 跟我交换一下啦

1408
01:55:49,083 --> 01:55:50,833
‪-为什么？这很可爱啊
‪-并没有

1409
01:55:50,916 --> 01:55:53,083
‪-阿武 很可爱吧？
‪-拜托不要

1410
01:55:53,166 --> 01:55:56,416
‪阿武！不要因为
‪成功让观众笑就得意忘形

1411
01:55:56,500 --> 01:55:59,291
‪为什么5分钟的短剧
‪会变成20分钟？笨蛋！

1412
01:55:59,375 --> 01:56:01,625
‪害我的短剧时间不得不缩短

1413
01:56:01,708 --> 01:56:03,541
‪你这小子别给我不知分寸！

1414
01:56:06,041 --> 01:56:07,791
‪阿武 怎么这么慢？

1415
01:56:08,583 --> 01:56:12,500
‪-你终于来了
‪-你忘了吗？说好要去参拜的

1416
01:56:12,583 --> 01:56:16,166
‪快点去准备 当心遭报应

1417
01:56:16,791 --> 01:56:18,458
‪我们先走了

1418
01:56:20,041 --> 01:56:22,958
‪祝你生日快乐！

1419
01:56:23,875 --> 01:56:27,291
‪奇怪 阿武 你在干什么啊？

1420
01:56:27,375 --> 01:56:30,583
‪真是的 不是叫你带师父过来吗？

1421
01:56:30,666 --> 01:56:32,416
‪不行 再来一次

1422
01:56:32,500 --> 01:56:35,291
‪-可是拉炮都用完了
‪-师父来了！

1423
01:56:35,375 --> 01:56:36,750
‪怎么办？

1424
01:56:38,000 --> 01:56:39,250
‪就笑好了！

1425
01:56:59,833 --> 01:57:02,833
‪喂 这位先生 你不要乱鼓掌

1426
01:57:03,500 --> 01:57:06,541
‪他演得那么烂你还鼓掌
‪这样你只会害到他

1427
01:57:06,625 --> 01:57:10,958
‪喂 我可是观众耶 跩什么跩啊？

1428
01:57:11,500 --> 01:57:12,708
‪你以为你是谁？

1429
01:57:15,875 --> 01:57:17,916
‪我是谐星 你这笨蛋

1430
02:02:38,083 --> 02:02:42,875
{\an8}‪字幕翻译：黄荣君